#after almost 20 yrs it’s a bit too late for things to get better and truthfully I don’t know if I want it to be better because this dumpster

[kavehater]

Staring at my keyboard because I don’t even know what to say to all this *gestures at everyone and my life* /neg

[katekyo-hitman-aus]

Guided Sky (?)

Au where Tsuna accidentally meets Skull and ends up traveling all across the world while doing schooling with Skull. The baby just accidentally got lost in Japan while he was on break for a while after he went to Disneyland.

Lucky baby, the boy thought while burying his face in homework he never understood.

To add more salt to his wounds, Nana actually hired him in order to be a tutor! And oh he was smart. Everytime Tsuna tried to outsmart him, Skull would just point out the plot holes and make Tsuna question everything he did. 

The baby had the mind of an adult and it freaked him out and only him since babies could become this smart at the age of 1! Everyone ignored the fact that Skull could also do things not even adults could do like flip off of a rooftop without breaking his little baby ankles.

The baby was exhausting as hell and gave him heart attacks everytime he did something for his “job” in the first 2 weeks even in school. It would nearly kill the kid every time Skull followed a teacher or peer classmate without any problem. Including his bullies! 

Tsuna went along with Skull’s antics only because Skull’s presence made it less likely for Tsuna to get in trouble or bullied. It started happening the day after he got sick, due to his bullies dumping toilet water on him. Skull was very calm that day and left him to his own devices for once.

But Tsuna’s tutor was 90% a wild kid despite his IQ. And to make things even more bizarre, Tsuna’s grades were gradually climbing up which was a miracle. Skull gave him a box of treats on golden week for passing all of his exams with a 70 or higher. He used to get 20’s and 10’s as a reference….

Skull shuddered at his previous scores before he dragged the young kid and Nana to some nice places in Japan that even Nana never knew about. 

They all got to wind down and have fun in all the attractions, even Nana started acting like a kid. It was a common occurrence to see the son and mother running around in some other city for an hour or two before actually shopping around. As usual, nobody noticed the purple baby or thought the baby was a creepy doll in every city they went to. 

It was the best week ever. Skull got a cat ear umbrella set with pastel raincoats for the 3 of them (Skull used it as a robe). And the food was amazing! Skull even hooked Nana up with some cooking professionals and Tsuna got a 80.5% discount on most of the things he bought related to anime or other types of books. In fact, he ended up discussing anime in an internet cafe with 3 adults who lowkey looked very familiar.

It was actually Skull’s friends who were equally intelligent as him and actually created their own big companies. Sadly, the week of fun had to end but they did end up getting a bunch of stuff which filled up 7 giant suitcases of stuff. Half of it was a bunch of stationery and a few questionable things in Skull’s bags along with a few key chains/kimonos. Nana and Tsuna bought out half of a bakery and a few other things they kept separate from each other.

After the initial bliss of golden week, he successfully did his work without any late homework and smiled at the teachers for once.  

Now that he actually did his homework everyday, the teachers got bitter at the fact that he seemed to do way better, and the students left him alone.

Tsuna frowned at the hostility the teachers had and told Skull and his mother about the events after a week of the same treatment..

It was only a month later that all the teachers his class was assigned had been illegitimate student teachers who barely helped their professors or couldn’t even get into a basic college…. Namimori middle school had separated since basically almost all of the teachers didn’t even gain a degree…unsurprisingly, the terrifying demon expanded school territory. He shivered.

The demon of Namimori had terrorized Kokuyo afterwards. It was only a few miles away from the outskirts of Namimori Middle.

“Tsu-kun?”

“Mhm?” said son nodded up, his lap covered in wrinkled papers and documents. Nana bit her lip nervously.

“Well, I know Namimori isn’t the best so me and Skull think it would be better if you studied in another place….” She looked at Tsuna for confirmation.

He nodded slowly, putting away the school files and recommendations.

“I think you should be studying somewhere with Skull. I don’t know why but after we both met Skull, I feel a lot more wary for you, honey.” Her forehead crinkled in displeasure as she hugged Tsuna. 

“Are you going with me?” Tsuna inquired, his eyes sharpening at her hunched pose.

“Sadly, no. I have no place anywhere outside of Namimori…. and if Iemitsu hears about me disappearing, he will search for me. Your father is a very… focused person. I would let him go but I’m scared of what he’d do to you or anyone else…. it’s not that hard to realize how tenacious Iemitsu is if you knew him dear.” She chuckled mirthlessly, her eyes darkening but prideful at the same time.

He protested but nothing could pass out of mouth, he shut his mouth after 5 minutes of silence.

“…what do you say?” his tutor stood at the door, having been there for the whole conversation. Skull’s eyes pierced through his soul. Tsuna froze in some unknown emotion and turned towards his mother. She tearfully smiled at him, getting up to make dinner.

He shook in disbelief…. Skull or his mother.

Tsuna frowned, grasping his mother’s hand. After a week of not doing anything, he reluctantly greeted his mother farewell which broke his heart. Skull gave them closure for the next 3 hours.

While they were going to the airport, Nana had texted her son and so forth, both sides missing their family member like crazy.

After 3 years, Tsunayoshi visited Japan for the first time alone and a Hitman entered Japan. Both people could feel a pit in their guts, unsure of what it was. 

As for Skull, he had abandoned Tsunayoshi with a plane ticket and 3 checks that could buy out a small town on his 16th birthday, though Tsunayoshi had understood. It wasn’t Skull’s place to help the Vongola no matter how much Skull loved his pupil.

It was very obvious to Tsuna that the Vongola or it’s allies had done something devastating to Skull’s life since the cloud was so understanding. Tsuna’s palms turned clammy for the first time in a long time, gripping the cloud flame fused crystal in his hand. It was the only thing Skull truly gave that indicated his bond with the 16 yr old.

His sky flames braced him for the worst as he stepped onto Japanese ground, sharply inhaling as observant sun flames doused the airport, the hitman’s eyes scanning for the Japanese heir he needed to train.

Then they made eye contact. Reborn did not like this brat, Leon tensed and curled up on his shoulder away from the Sky’s stare. A snarky grin makes it out of the teenager as well as anger from his Cloud’s experience with the hitman.

Sun and Sky flames set each other off, creating humidity in the air conditioned airport.

(Somewhere in a quiet place, Skull woke up with orange and purple eyes, instinctively reaching for a silver shortblade behind his pillow. Sensing the irritating sun flames through his sky, he pushed out the sun to balance the powers of a grown man with developed flames in comparison to a teenager with a weakening seal that was slowly disintegrating his muscles and organs..

He hoped nothing too bad would happen to what was his. Or there would be hell to pay. He went back to sleep with restlessness in his body.)

[dastardlydandelion]

I wish you would write a fic where Susan got to keep her baby for once.

well. hm. what would this look like in my hands. okay, okay, so in this particular scenario, i actually imagine neil was putting 2 + 2 together and finding out susan's preggo right after the move. like, even before susan does. and she's all kinds of alarmed but neil is?? oddly excited?

he's all like, "isn't this great? we get to have a new baby in this new town. what a perfect way to cement our brand new life, huh?"

and susan doesn't want to be hopeful but with neil's positive reaction, she tentatively feels hope anyway. maybe things rly will be different, right?

continues under the cut bc this got fucking long.

yeah, well, neil's good mood lasts until it's actually born and responsibilities ensue. he never had to deal with billy as a baby rly, bc billy's mom took care of that part and also, like. in this 'verse at least, billy was a low-maintenance baby. didn't cry much. maybe he did at first but like, after being dropped on the head a couple times, he just went quiet and didn't rly bother anybody after that. wouldn't get loud again until elementary age. and max didn't come into neil's life until she was even elementary age, so defo past all the baby stuff.

the new infant tho screams like a mofo. everybody in the house is on edge. sleep is hard to come by for the whole household. the care and keeping responsibilities mostly fall on susan but neil holds it against her every. single. time. he has to change a diaper or hold a bottle, as if it's some major failing on susan's part that he should ever have to do anything like this at all.

max tries to help but she can't even hold the baby tbh. it makes her v uncomfortable, she never gets it right and doesn't know what to do when it squirms!! what if she drops it!? plus she thinks baby smells weird even when it's got a clean diaper, an unappealing mashed food and powder combo with a lingering whiff of wet rubber. and billy. is billy. he has to watch it sometimes, naturally. if it's just him and baby at home, he'll blast his stereo to cover up the crying, as long as he knows its other needs have been tended to. like, yk, the "it'll cry itself to sleep eventually," approach. which works actually. metallica becomes the go-to baby lullaby.

but lo and behold, when it's like, let's say 6 months or smth, baby gets an ear infection. like babies do. won't stop wailing. just. will NOT stop. v much in pain and has no other means of communication. neil and max are home. billy is on a date. susan's stuck in a long line at the grocery store. neil had a shitty day at work and he's already aggravated. pacifier isn't working, lil thing just keeps hollering, so. in a burst of frustration, he starts throttling baby. max is in her own room but hears it the second the noises change and hurries to help, blood ice cold.

she stops neil from killing baby sibling but gets a black eye and a bloody nose for her troubles. this is what susan comes home to. i've written a lot of susan kills neil scenarios but i think this is the first one that comes to mind where in this round, it really is out of anger and not fear. both are present, ofc. but the actual act on her part is one of anger. bc she feels stupid that he ever had her the slightest bit convinced a new baby would make anything better. that neil ever made her feel like he'd be better and instead, he chose to be even worse. susan ties him to the bedposts under the guise of a sex thing, convincing neil she wants to treat him to smth special bc he's been oh so stressed out lately. bashes his brains in with a hammer at least 20 times, a la sally challen style.

alas, reality commences and susan goes to prison. ig a long time ago there was this made for tv movie abt this lady killing her abusive husband by setting the bed aflame that gave the public the misconception that women who kill their abusers are typically acquitted, but uh, that's not true. yeah, it was true for the lady whom the movie was based off of, but usually they're convicted and serve unduly harsh sentences for their "crimes." but if i get on that soap box, we gonna be here the whole fucking day, so, moving on now. susan's off to the big house. albeit both baby and max's injuries are documented and considered mitigating circumstances so her charges are reduced from first degree murder to voluntary manslaughter with the potential for early release.

billy's close to 19 so he's an adult, if only technically speaking. has custody of baby and max. i've decided baby in this 'verse is amab but will eventually come out as trans when she's abt ten yrs old. billy tries his best. max tries her best too. baby's nickname is ducky bc the rubber duck?? by far the favorite toy!! baby p much lives in the bathtub, playing with the rubber duck. billy, who would move them back to cali in a heartbeat if it wasn't so far from susan's prison, defo relates. he's also aquatic by nature.

okay, so the move back to cali does happen. over the months of her kids coming to visit her in prison susan can see how exhausted the teenagers are and she's p much just like, 'u guys gotta go. get outta this rural heckhole u hate, stop bringing urselves n my bby to this dismal place.' and they don't think she's serious but the next time they come to visit, she doesn't meet them, so. yup. serious it is. billy, max, n baby take neil's life insurance money and head off to cali.

this is a modern au, okay, inmates sneaking smartphones into the prison n all that. so susan makes deals and friends and does favors, and gets some help from the ones who are good at bitcoin and scams and counterfeiting and what have you. this enables her to do discreet online "shopping." so she gets ducky all kinds of rubber ducks, at least a handful of times a year. the ducks get more unique and less childish as ducky grows. susan apologizes almost every time she talks to the older kids on the phone for like, five yrs. max isn't rly angry with how things ended with neil tho, more so has that residual anger that susan ever got together with neil in the first place. billy doesn't rly know what to feel tbh, accepts the apologies p numbly bc he's too damn exhausted with being the primary caregiver in over his head to even think abt how he feels at the end of the day.

susan gets released on good behavior around the same time ducky comes out, announcing she's a girl. it's an adjustment for billy and max to get used to bc they never rly suspected, but they're 100% supportive. susan is...oddly excited? not for selfless reasons (tho she is earnestly supportive) but bc it's like. not only does that mean trashing the masculine deadname neil had adamantly declared for ducky, but it means all in all, she got out at the perfect time bc she gets to be introduced to the authentic version of her child along w errbody else. makes her feel less left behind, like she didn't miss out on errything despite being put away for a decade. susan moves in with all of them, obvi, in a small house by the seaside filled to the brim with rubber ducks (billy and max also contributed to ducky's collection on birthdays and holidays, the first duck billy ever got has skulls, and the first max ever got is a frankenstein monster duck). home is cluttered, awkward, and tentative but free of fear and ripe with *genuine* new beginnings.

believe me, anonymoose, i am just as surprised as u are at how fuckin long this got.

[brikal2020]

It’s Too Late

Having a loved one die on you when you least expect is overwhelming. Ok, that doesn’t make sense, does it? No death is expected, well some are but you're not necessarily ready for them rather you think you are or not. 

You have a spouse who thinks you don’t go to see a doctor unless you can’t stop the breathing or somethings falling off of you. He had cancer almost 10 years prior exactly. To get him to the doctor back then I had to call his boss and his boss had to threaten his job if he didn’t take care of his health issue. 

Well, it was last March he finally agreed to see a doctor and he told his kids before I threatened to tell them after he made me swear not to tell them. I gave him 2 weeks to tell them and that’s it. He didn’t think anything was wrong with himself so he’d have me believe, which I did.  He tried, no he moved a 50-gallon drum of industrial chemicals alone, yes, there were people he could get to assist him, he had the privilege of being the boss with certain privileges such as asking/ telling a couple people to move anything for him. This is when it all began, he thought he’d pulled a muscle in his back and it would only require heat, ice, and Motrin, any inflammatory medication purchased over the counter. 

As Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year came and went he was not at the point where he was only working 2 or 3 days a week or just going in long enough to ensure everyone was at work, things were going smoothly, then home he came. This was unusual for him. This was a man who was raised to take care of his family and worked 24/ 7 if it was required of him. 

Watching him, seeing him lose all this with and not eating, saying he is having problems swallowing so just make soups for him. Again, a problem, a big problem, this man enjoyed eating. He was a meat and potatoes man and he’s requesting soup, no, not him at all. Very worried, I’ve had enough. I went and told him I was calling the kids to let them know what was going on and to my surprise, he said he already told them and was on the phone with them at that time. Perfect, I had made him an appointment with my doctor which I hadn’t told him yet. I told his kids about it and they offered to go with us. I said no, I didn’t need them to go with me. I knew what I was doing. I was not incapable of listening, then telling them after the visit what was going on. After a few hours and me thinking about his kids thinking they needed to go with me to the doctor visit for their father as if I’m incapable of relaying to them what's been said. After a bit longer I came to my senses and called the oldest who asked if I wanted her to go with us to let her know I’d be more than happy for any or all of them to make the appointment with us. She said it was too late for her to get off work now. I didn’t believe that either, but whatever. I guess it’s possible to hurt her feelings, I mean this is a person who hasn’t liked me the entire 20 yrs. I’d been with her father. Out of the three of them, I’d known and been closest to the middle daughter and her family. Why didn’t the oldest and youngest like me? Hell, who knows. Could it be because I was black? I didn't’ know, thought it could be possible, but how I didn’t know because their father didn’t care and his parents were excellent toward my son and I. Getting off track here, the middle daughter went with us. She called to let me know she’d be going with me regardless of me saying I didn’t need them to go with me. Now that makes sense to me, that’s something I’d of done.

The appointment was the next day. The middle daughter showed up and we headed to the doctor's appointment. My doctor sees him then immediately has her nurse wheel him over to the ER to have some tests taken. Mind you he didn’t take care of himself unless absolutely necessary. He wouldn’t go to doctor's appointments I’ve made for him in the past thinking since the appointment was made he’d just go, wrong, that didn’t matter, he had no need for doctors. 

After several tests, the doctors came in asking which hospital did he want to go to the one an hour away or one 45 minutes away. We choose the one an hour away because it’s where his family lived and where he grew up. They saw some things on Xrays and these hospitals were better equipped to handle what they thought maybe the problem, CANCER, he needed an oncologist. The cancer had metastasized throughout his body. 

It’s too late, now is the time the entire family has to be called so they know what going on. It’s too much, it’s too later, it’s more than I can handle and it’s wrong, but I became very angry because this is something that could have been prevented. The man I love, my heart and soul literally, he was being taken say from me way too soon, it’s not fair, we had plans in three years when he retired, we were going to just travel around, we had plans, what the hell is this? How could he be this damn sick? He knew, didn’t he? He knew this is why we had to move closer to the area when his family lived 4 years ago, he knew it was back, just not telling anyone and we were no better. I don’t know what the hell, his family, his loved ones were thinking or doing, but we damn sure wasn’t paying enough attention to catch some glimmer of what his health isn’t right.

It’s too much and too late. Now that we know it takes no time what so ever. 

[prorevenge]

Karma is a girl's best friend

So, this isn’t particularly me getting revenge, as much as Karma helping me out. But i figured it belongs here and is pretty pro, considering. TL/DR at the end.

So, I met my now ex-husband, let’s call him X, on a dating site, and he seemed decent enough via the emails and texts and phone calls we exchanged for the first few weeks. Well, I fianally agreed to meet him in person, at a public place. When I laid eyes on the man in person, every fiber of my being said, “No, this doesn’t feel right.” I should have listened.

Several things threw up red flags in the time we were dating, to which, again, I should have listened. Oh, well. Hind sight is 20/20, isn’t it? I won’t list those, other than he lied to me from the start about little things in his life, so our relationship started on lies I wouldn’t discover until it was too late. We dated about a year, before I had to move in with him and his mom (I was 19, he was 21), due to a situation with my mother.

Everything was fine (as I can recall) in the time we lived there other than I HATED his mother, and she equally hated me. We got our own place, and a month later, got married in a simple courthouse wedding (we had been together 2 years at this point). …. Then it started going downhill. Anytime I didn’t want sex, he would flat out DEMAND it, saying it was my “wifely duties”, would be a pissy man child for 3 days after if I still refused. (That is technically a form of rape, for those who don’t know.) He also wouldn’t stop if we were in mid intercourse and I told him to stop because it was hurting… I should have gotten out then. I thought it was just me.

A little over 2 years of being married, we have a kid. X refuses to get up during the night to help with the baby, stating that since he was the only one working until after I got back from maternity leave, he shouldn’t lose any sleep. So, I learned to nap when the baby napped. At this point, our son is too little to truly play with, so his constant gaming is somewhat excusable. However, if I wanted to spend any time with him at all, I had to do what he wanted. He NEVER did things I was interested in.

Well, time goes on, and our son starts growning up, and is really actively wanting to play. Great! I stay home with him during the day, being super mom, and work a part time in the evenings. Hence, very little sleep for me. X works full time during the day, and immediately when he comes home says hi to us, showers, grabs food, then heads off to his gaming room. Doesn’t play with our then 3-4 yr old, who litterally brings him toys and says, “Please play, Daddy?” . All he does is take the toy, and says “in a bit, buddy.” But never does. When I was home on nights I was off work, he expected me to still do everything in the house (NEVER helped with housework, unless I specifically said “please have this done before I get home.” Rarely does anything with our son, then complains when son doesn’t want to be with him, and cries for me.

About the time our son was 4, we moved half a state away, to my initial home town ( one set of parents lived there, my other set lived where i was raised from 13, up), and into that set of parents’ home, until we could find something. Was only supposed to be maximum 3 months. We were there over a year…

About a month after moving there, i got pregnant again, and we were excited. I thought this would complete us, make me happy, finally, etc. Well, my parents one night asked me why I would even want another kid with him, as he clearly never helped me, and was on his video games all the time. That struck a nerve, and I realized I DIDN’T want another kid with him, but as I was almost 3 months along at this point, and don’t agree with abortion unless it’s medically necessary, I was stuck. So, on the night before MY birthday, he insisted on birthday sex. I told him no less than 4 times that I didn’t want to, before saying, “Fine, get it over with so you leave me alone about it.” I had some spotting the next monrning, didnt think much of it. Then, on MY BIRTHDAY, miscarried. I spent from 3pm-2 am in the hospital, with my grandmother and parents tending to my son. X was there, so worried, upset, etc. Honestly, I was relieved, I just couldn’t say it.

A month later, my ex fiance, from high school sent me a message that he missed me. In truth, I had missed him the whole time as well. We reconnected. A month later, I told X I wanted a divorce. He begged me to give him to our anniversary to fix it. I told him I knew he wouldn’t change, he hadn’t any other time I said I was unhappy, so why should this be different?

During this time, he orders a couple thousand dollars of new things for his new apartment (leaving me, as caregiver of our child, in debt). He tried to tell people the reason I left was for my ex. No, Asshole, the main reason i left was because you made me fucking miserable. I had to work 2 part time (27hrs each) per week, working litterally every day, just to try to keep my head above water, while he paid the bare minimum in child support. (Half of our son’s daycare + 20$ per week, that’s it.)

So, I eventually move back to my other parent’s home, 3 hours away, because I started getting sick, and needed help with my son. Turns out, all that stress I was put thru DESTROYED my already compromised immune system (thanks, genetics!) And I have ulcers covering the left side of my intestines. Anyone with ulcers can tell you, this compromises daily life, as ulcerative colitis is pretty much just as bad as Chrons disease.. well, fucking great. So, not only did this asshat treat me like crap when we were together, but the stress caused me to have a condition where i now have to take pills and shots for the rest of my life.

On to the karma: Being back home, my life (other than still having health trouble) has drastically improved! My parents here help with my son more than his father or my other parents EVER have; I’m now very happily married to the fiance from high school, who is more of a father to my son than his own dad ever was; we have a huge apartment, with my loving dog getting to finally live indoors again. All in all, I’m in a better place than I ever had been in the past 10 years. X, however, isn’t doing as well. He had a mental breakdown over the divorce (or at least faked it well enough). He is on meds that habe made him gain more weight than I have ever seen on that man, and he ACTUALLY has to take care of our son when our son goes to his place. Which, since X works a weird schedule, is rare as hell except in summer.

So, not only did he lose a caring, good wife to someone who treats her way better, but he also rarely gets to see his kid (who, tbh, is doing better without seeing him all the time). AND he has ballooned up weight wise, which makes me feel so pettily happy when I see him whenever we meet to exchange our son. ^_^

TL/DR :: Now ex-husband used to rape me, not help at all around the house or with our son, and flat out ignored our son and myself. Now he’s having major depression and mental issues, living in a terrible apartment, and has gained a crap ton of weight, while I’m doing so much better with my now husband, who treats me like an equal, not an object, and who loves my son as his own.

(submit your pro revenge story) (story by irishlady)

[briepark]

Get to know me tag

I was tagged by @theloveinkimkai thank you so much lovely ❤︎

Answer 20 questions and tag 10 others

Nickname: Brie, Gabi

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: around 175 cm

Time: 21:25

Fav band/solo artist: only EXO is the fav but i also like: AWS, Imagine Dragons, Amigod, Starset

Song stuck in my head: Igraj Moja Hrvatska, i looove this song so much*-*

Last movie i watched: The Maze Runner i think? it was quite a long time ago:c

Last thing i googled: “eladó cocker spániel” T^T (cocker spaniel for sale) i fell in love with a doggie:c 

Other blog: Nooo~ i’m bad with this only one too...

Do I get asks: almost never.. but sometimes i get awards in my inbox which makes me feel so loved and appreciated and i’m always thankful for you all💗💞

Reason behind the username: i was uncreative and put my nickname and PCY’s family name together. i wanted to go with kim or oh but i didn’t think those versions sounded right

Following: 800+ there are many inactive ones but i don’t have the heart to unfollow them:c

Average hours of sleep: um.. i need at least 7 or 8. during school i sleep around 6 hours or maybe 7, at the weekends it’s probably 8-9 hours. but there are times when i function better with like 3 hours of sleep. won’t ever understand..

Lucky number: 5, 7, 8 (these all helped me so much during my exam!! i knew i had chosen them perfectly a long time ago)

What am I wearing: white shirt with my sleeping shorts

Dream job: something in connection with languages and/ or travelling or animals. i think i’d like to be a tourist gide or language teacher. but since it’s really far i’d say waitress too~ i really loved working as one even if it was only just a summer job i can easily imagine myself having this job too, even if it’s just the second job i’d have~

Dream trip: South Korea!!! i’d really want to!! or a trip in Europe~ i was talking with one of my best friends about this aaand~ maybe we two will go on a trip together after high school*-*

Favourite food: chocolate, Chinese and Korean dishes, soups, sweets

Instrument: flute and i can play the piano a little

Favourite song: um.. i never have only one~ i always have like 5 and i truly can’t choose nor say only one. soo i’ll just say a few~ Electric Kiss, Power, Black Pearl, Lightsaber, Overdose, More Than You Know, Viszlát Nyár, Hol Voltál?, Taníts Meg Élni, What U Do?, 8 Letters,Hooked i listen to these a lot these days, among them Black Pearl might be the closest to my heart. this was the song that officially got me into the fandom and changed my life forever 💕 one of EXO’s best songs, it’s so angelic, calming and simply beautiful!💝

Favourite color: lavender purple, pastel pink and blue, black

Siblings: unfortunately i have no siblings:c i have always wanted a big brother who is only like 2 yrs older than me. it’s a bit late, isn’t it..?

Pet: used to have a doggie💝 i still think about him a lot and miss him so much:c sometimes i just sit down and wonder how happier i’d be if he was here with me.. he always came to me to cheer me up and lay down on me and sleep on me.. when i’ll live on my own or with my own family i’ll definitely buy dogs since it’s hard living without them!!

Sexuality: Straight

Hometown: Ajka, Magyarország

Significant crush: o_o a classmate of mine 0_0 altough, i love EXO with my whole heart (if this counts, i think yes?) i’d say Jongin too~ i can easily imagine a boyfriend like him!

Languages: Hungarian, English and learning German and Korean^^ and planning on Croatian as well^^

Favourite time of the day: Night, i enjoy reading, listening to music but mostly watching my series during night since it’s calm, and parents won’t interrupt me..-

Nationality: Hungarian

i’m tagging: @ladyliliah @ananou59 @fluffyloey @guardians-of-exo @knowexoknowlife @dreamingnini @byunselma @kpopstaners @nowherecarlos

[countjason]

Jason’s 8th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

Last year, I didn’t do this so is this 8 or is this one again?  Maybe’s it’s 7?  Idk…let’s assume it’s 8.

I forget why I didn’t do this since I’ve been pretty good over the course of the decade in both setting goals and reflecting, both good and bad on the outcome of those goals.  I couldn't give you an answer why 2018 was so different than the previous 6 years.  For good or bad, these entries are the only ones I do and maybe the last on Tumblr now that the platform may be dying due to porn.  Either way, I will reflect in the best I can given I didn’t set goals for 2018 and start anew with goals for 2019.

2018 Reflection

Work

2018 was hard.  It started strong with the new position at my new job as a scheduler.  I soon realized, however, I made an ill-made choice.  I can't say it was a "bad" decision because, at the time, I wasn't happy on what became of me being a configuration, change, release manager and the prospect of me being a project manager was slim with the ongoing fight between our contract prime and my company at the time.  The decision to leave seemed easy since my current company had a pay increase so, hey, follow the money right?

Well, six months in and I began to grow tired of the sheer boredom of the job.  Here I go from running a major project, flying to Germany to work with the customer, addressing changes and being active (though be it not what I wanted  to do) NOW basically perform statuses once a month and learning nothing new.  It’s almost to the point where I think I’m forgetting some skills like my SharePoint knowledge since they don’t use that tool at all and caught in their own ways (and anytime you try to change or show them a better way, you’re immediately dismissed).  

I can pinpoint the exact day that started the ongoing job hunt. It was not after I graduated - no, it in September 2018 when my company posted a position for a project manager and I immediately inquired to my boss for which I was told I don't have enough experience for the role.  Not enough experience?  How the heck am I supposed to get experience when I’m not mentored, spinning in my chair picking my nose half the month and told there’s nothing else I need to do or I’m not physically doing any aspect of the job to gain said experience you want in a project manager here?  Do you really think I would leave you hung out to dry or wouldn't know where to ask for help should I needed it (which was likely)? Are you so concerned with your company image that the slightest ignorance in any area is a death sentence?  Here I was familiar with the protocol the company did for financials, scheduling, and other areas that I learned over the course of nine months but because I wasn't an engineer, I was told they wanted to more likely recruit talent from a competitor and more engineering minded despite the fact all the previous PMs had little to no engineering experience at all.  Mind you this was after graduating with my master’s degree in Project Management, have more certifications that are gold standards for my line of work, and just having a background in previous project management type functions and keep in mind folks - a PM is not necessarily the subject matter expert, they are what keeps the project rolling so you really don’t need to know every aspect of a program, just who to talk to and where to look.  

They made me a “Deputy Program Manager” after this conversation but the bulk of my job has been the same as I started...  

It didn’t help they screwed over one of my only friends I barely made at my company and he quit. I’m horrible at making friends and I respected this guy because he was one of the few people that valued my input and didn’t treat me like a high-school intern (“ok children, today we’ll learn what a work breakdown structure is…”).  

Now to continue and conclude with the job topic because this horse is beat’in to death (Sorry, Not Sorry PETA), I will say that the outlook VERY recently is looking good. I have a few more interviews between a couple more companies and hopefully, I can land where my talent is useful.

School

I graduated college in 2018 the 3rd time.  

This time with a master’s degree in project management as I previously mentioned.  It was never my desire after graduating in 2011 to go back to school but in 2015, after watching Caitlin struggle with part-time work and full-time school, I wanted to set somewhat of an example in that you can work full-time work and school and get done with things.  Fast forward to 2018 and I’m done with that and Caitlin is still in school.  I am proud of this accomplishment since the 21-year-old Jason would have never believed I’d have a master’s degree.  

There's some internal vindication for all those Navy Officers that were "better than me since they were Officers" or Chief’s that said “leaving the Navy would be the worst decision I ever made” that I now have a higher education than over half of them a decade later.  They say revenge doesn't feel good – they are full a shit or I'm messed up.   I got to fly my parents to Maryland to witness the graduation in person so at least I know they got to see that.  I did enroll at Columbia Southern University in 2018 to work toward my DBA.  I finished all my prerequisite classes but had to put my school on hold due to the expense of Caitlin's school doubling on me. More on this in 2019 goals.  I’m looking to start that back up in the summer if all aligns properly.

Entertainment

If there’s one thing that I like to do these days is follow NASCAR.  I turned into my father but don’t hate it really.  Here’s me running at New Smyra Speedway this past past weekend.

Unfortunately, when it came to going to NASCAR races this year, we bet and lost on rain occurring in Atlanta (we ended up getting a cat named “Rain De’Lay” as a result and I watched the race happen on TV even though every weatherman said it was going to pour!) and Dad got sick this year and he couldn’t come to the Roval race we planned as well. We did plan the Bristol night race in 2019 so hopefully, I can have that.  Caitlin was a trooper for going to the Charlotte race with me which I know she didn’t overly like which was expected...

BUT…she did go camping and see the north which leads to later this month in us going to the Asheville area of North Carolina for Christmas vacation. If there’s one time in my life I want snow to happen it’s coming up here soon.

Also in entertainment, we had mini-adventures that’s needed – I went to St. Augustine overnight hunting ghosts (or talking to a lamp) at the British Pub’s upstairs apartment.  

Worth noting but technically out-of-bounds for this topic is Caitlin and I went to New Orleans LATE December 2017 (so almost 2018). I also rode in a boat during the Gasperilla festival which is a whole new level of experience.  I am curious to know how many water balloons we will have this year?

We went to Daytona several times this year including our annual family stay at the timeshare and mini-getaways as recent as last week.  We also explored Washington DC and Baltimore during my graduation trip.

Okay – now planning/goals out 2019…

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job.  If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general.  I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old.   I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.  

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas.  I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see.  I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad.  Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talledega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019.  I gotta wait until money isn't so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I'd like to get started in that.

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don't really relate to now.  I'm simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don't relate.  Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable.  I mean it can't get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email.  Even if it's not "work" friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not.  That's why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me.  I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me.  Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun.  I really don't have that same motivation these days.  I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too.  I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I'll find that extra gas in the tank and while I've accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.  

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money.  To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more.  I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.  

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day.  Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway.  Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.  

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that.  She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping.  I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now.  This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol.  It’s just too expensive to not.

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019.  This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other.  I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move.  We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

Well that’s 2019′s plans for you and some reflection on 2018.  Talk to you next year Jason (and anyone else that reads my rhetoric). 

[billion-heartbeats]

The world has gone viral Corona virus overview. Be cautious.there is nothing to  panic.

The world has gone viral

 Coronavirus Overview

 Types of Viruses in the world- 1,670,000

631,000 to 827,000 can infect Humans----Nature Journal

 The frequency of crossing over from animals to Humans has increased 2to 3 times in the last 40 yrs. on a cycle of about three yrs.

SARS- 2002

Bird flu- 2005

Swine flu- 2009

MERS- 2012

Ebola- 2014

SARS n COV- 2019

There have been 6 new epidemics in the last 18 yrs.

The corona virus is about 120 metronomes across, and looks like a ball with spikes coming out of it. The spikes, seen on an electron microscope, look a little like the sun’s corona, seen during an eclipse, which why the family was called corona viruses. The genome size of corona viruses ranges from approximately 26 to 32 kilobases, one of the largest among RNA viruses. Approximately, 20,000,000viruses can fit on the head of a pin. Trust me just about a gram of this virus has probably caused the pandemic!

Corona virus disease -COVID-19- a cousin of the SARS virus is an infectious disease caused by the newly discovered corona virus. Corona viruses are a large family of viruses that are common in people and many different species of animals, including camels, cattle, cats, and bats.

COVID-19 was first reported in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China in November 2019. Over the next few months, the illness spread to almost every country. COVID-19 was declared a pandemic by the WHO on March 11, 2020.

Corona viruses have been causing problems for humanity for a long time. Several versions are known to trigger common colds and more recently two types have set off outbreaks of deadly illnesses- severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) and Middle East respiratory syndrome (MERS). But by and large their impact has been mild.

The corona virus that is causing the Covid-19 pandemic has caused havoc globally and has spread to nearly 200 countries! That is an extraordinary performance for a spiky ball of genetic material coated in fatty chemicals called lipids, and which measures 80 billionths of a metre in diameter. Humanity has been brought on its knees by what looks a very humble assailant.

 Patho-physiology

 This was an organism unknown to science five months ago. Today it is the subject of study on an unprecedented scale. Vaccine projects proliferate, antiviral drug trials have been launched and new diagnostic tests are appearing.

The SARS-CoV-2 virus almost certainly originated in Bats. These are known to replicate faster. the bat is transformed into a reservoir of rapidly reproducing and highly transmissible viruses.  when these bat viruses move into humans who lack a fast-response immune system, the viruses quickly spread into their new hosts. As to the transmission of Sars-CoV-2, that occurs when droplets of water containing the virus are expelled by an infected person in a fit of cough or sneeze.

Virus-ridden particles are inhaled by others and come into contact with cells lining the throat and larynx. These cells have large numbers of receptors – known as Ace-2 receptors – on their surfaces. This virus has a surface protein that is primed to lock on that receptor and slip its RNA into the cell.

 Once inside, that RNA inserts itself into the cell’s own replication machinery and makes multiple copies of the virus. These burst out of the cell, and the infection spreads. Antibodies generated by the body’s immune system eventually target the virus and, in most cases, halt its progress.

 A Covid-19 infection is generally mild, and that really is the secret of the virus’s success. Many people don’t even notice they have got an infection and so go around their work, homes and supermarkets infecting others.

 Symptoms

The viruses can make people sick, usually with a mild to moderate upper respiratory tract illness, similar to a common cold. Coronavirus symptoms include a runny nose, cough, sore throat, possibly a headache and maybe a fever, which can last for a couple of days.

For those with a weak immune system, the elderly and the very young, there's a chance the virus could cause a lower, and much more serious, respiratory tract illness like a pneumonia or bronchitis.

The Wuhan coronavirus is currently thought to be milder than SARS and MERS and takes longer to develop symptoms. Patients to date have typically experienced a mild cough for a week followed by shortness of breath, causing them to visit the hospital. Around 15% to 20% of cases have become severe requiring treatment in ICU. 5% are critical requiring, ventilatory support and treatment in ICU.

Corona virus treatment

There is no specific treatment, but research is underway. Most of the time, symptoms will go away on their own and experts advise seeking care early. If symptoms feel worse than a standard cold, see your doctor.

Doctors can relieve symptoms by prescribing a pain or fever medication, a hot shower, a warm drink with some herbs, can help ones with a sore throat or cough. Don’t panic! Remain calm.

Drink plenty of fluids, get rest and sleep as much as possible.

 Prognosis

A large study found that about 80% of confirmed cases had fairly mild symptoms -defined as no significant infection in the lungs. About 15% have had moderately severe symptoms that caused significant shortness of breath, low blood oxygen or other lung problems that needs institutional treatment. 5% of cases are critical, featuring respiratory failure, septic shock or multiple organ problems.

Mortality

 The Wuhan coronavirus fatality rate is lower than for SARS and MERS. In India statistical analysis shows that it is 2.8%. The World Health Organization gave out a figure of, 3.4%.

Why does the virus sometimes cause death?

Occasionally, however, the virus can cause severe problems. This happens when it moves down the respiratory tract and infects the lungs, which are even richer in cells with Ace-2 receptors. Many of these cells are destroyed, and lungs become congested with bits of broken cells. In these cases, patients will require treatment in intensive care. This is known as a cytokine storm.

 In the body, immune responses are being mounted against Covid-19 in infected people. And the antibodies created by that response will provide protection against future infections – but we should note that it is unlikely this protection will be for life. The protection will not be there for mutated strains but slows down the virulence. The virus will be with us for some time.

When will we get a vaccine?

The journal - Nature reported that 78 vaccine projects had been launched round the globe – with a further 37 in development. Among them is a vaccine programme that is now in phase-one trials at Oxford University, two others at US biotechnology corporations and three more at Chinese scientific groups. Many other vaccine developers say they plan to start human testing this year.

This raises hopes that a Covid-19 vaccine could be developed in a fairly short time. However, vaccines require large-scale safety and efficacy studies.

  What are we doing?

Mere lock down cannot hide you from the virus!

While many of us watched the corona virus spread across the globe with disinterest for months. Now many have finally realized that it will disrupt our way of life. We can make things better; it’s not too late. But we have to be willing to act.

Of course, we are doing something. We’re closing schools and businesses and committing to social and physical distancing. This isn’t enough. Even after we do these things, it is predicted that a significant number of infections will occur, that more people will need care than we can possibly provide in our hospitals.

We in India are engaged in suppression and not in mitigation. The Suppression refers to a campaign to reduce the infectivity of a pandemic, what experts call R-0 should be less than one!  Unchecked, the R- 0 of COVID-19 is between 2 and 3, meaning that every infected person infects, on average, two to three others. An R- 0 less than 1 indicates that each infected person results in fewer than one new infection. When this happens, the outbreak will slowly grind to a halt.

 Be cautious. Don’t panic!

 The mood of the country has shifted in the last few weeks, from dismissal to one of fear and concern. That’s appropriate. This is a serious pandemic, and it’s still very likely that the rate of infection will overwhelm the surge capacity in our country. We have seen this happen in Mumbai, Delhi, Ahmadabad and Chennai!

If we commit to social distancing, however, at some point in the next few months the rate of spread will slow. We’ll be able to catch our breath. We’ll be able to ease restrictions, as some early hit countries are doing. We can move toward some semblance of normalcy.

 Hope for the best. Be prepared for the worst.

The worst is yet to be!

The temptation then will be to think we have made it past the worst. We cannot give in to that temptation. This is the time to redouble our efforts. We will need to prepare for the coming storm. We’ll need to build up our stockpiles, create strategies, and get ready.

We will need to massively strengthen our medical infrastructure. We will need to build ventilators and add hospital beds. We will need to train and redistribute physicians, nurses, and respiratory therapists to where they are most needed. We will need to focus our factories on turning out the protective equipment—masks, gloves, gowns, and so forth—to ensure we keep our health-care workforce safe.

 Some are in denial, and others are in despair. Both are understandable. We all have a choice to make. we can work together to get through it with as little damage as possible. This country has faced massive threats before and risen to the challenge; we can do it again. We just need to decide to make it happen.

[cromulentbookreview]

Binge! Part 2: The Re-Binging

I’m often put off by long book series - considering how often I complain about being suckered into the first book of a series, this isn’t surprising. However, sometimes I’m willing to put in the time to binge a whole series.

Like, for example, the Barker & Llewelyn series by Will Thomas.

So I binge-read the first 10 books of this series (well, 10.5, there’s a novella called An Awkward Way to Die ) in one long, dizzying binge last year. And, lucky for me, there’s a new book out: Lethal Pursuit! Pretty much exactly one year from the release of Blood is Blood! 

But! If you haven’t read the first 10.5 books, here’s a review:

BOOK 1 - Some Danger Involved: Your average detective enquiry agent-duo origin story featuring brilliant detective and his new snarky Welsh sidekick!

BOOK 2 - To Kingdom Come: Barker & Llewelyn go undercover and build bombs for the Irish!

BOOK 3 - The Limehouse Text: Barker & Llewelyn face big trouble in London’s 19th Century Chinatown!

BOOK 4 - The Hellfire Conspiracy: Barker & Llewelyn fight human traffickers, secret societies and such!

BOOK 5 - The Black Hand: Barker & Llewelyn fight the Italian mafia!

BOOK 6 - Fatal Enquiry: Barker & Llewelyn fight Barker’s almost comically evil arch-nemesis!

BOOK 7 - Anatomy of Evil: Barker & Llewelyn fight Jack the Ripper!

BOOK 8 - Hell Bay: Barker & Llewelyn Present: Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None!

BOOK 8.5 - An Awkward Way to Die: Barker & Llewelyn solve a case in, like, 20 minutes!

BOOK 9 - Old Scores: Barker & Llewelyn Present: Japonism in Late-19th Century England!

BOOK 10 - Blood is Blood: Barker is put temporarily out of commission by an explosion! Llewelyn must solve the case himself! Who should show up to help but Barker’s long lost brother??

BOOK 11 - Lethal Pursuit: Barker and Llewelyn are hired by the Prime Minister himself to transport an ancient manuscript to Calais. Sounds easy enough! Except Barker seems more interested in investigating the death of the man who brought the manuscript to England in the first place…

So! Lethal Pursuit! It begins with Hillary Drummond, recently arrived to England from Germany (somewhat newly united! Kind of!) he’s on the run from some blue uniformed youths after the satchel he’s carrying, which contains this book’s MacGuffin an ancient, and very valuable manuscript. Drummond almost, almost makes it to the Home Office when, gasp! He’s run through with a sword. Then he walks into traffic and is run over by a cab.

Or, as it’s known in London traffic: Tuesday.

Meanwhile! It’s January! 1892! Llewelyn is a happily married man, as he loves to mention roughly every two pages. Along with being a happily married man (did he mention that he’s married now? Because he is) he’s also now a partner in Barker’s Detective Private Enquiry Agency. Barker has been moving a bit slower since his leg injury during the events of Blood is Blood, but, instead of treating Llewelyn like a full partner, Barker continues to treat him like an assistant. Which rankles Llewelyn a bit but hey, at least he’s married to the love of his life Rebecca. Only they still live in Barker’s house - he’s renovated the first floor for them and everything. Anyway, Barker and Llwelyn receive a summons from Prime Minister himself! The British government has the MacGuffin, and they want nothing more than to have the manuscript sent off to the Vatican archives and forgotten. But Barker is more interested in the mystery of who killed Hillary Drummond and why. Rather than immediately deliver the manuscript to Calais like the Prime Minister asked them to do, Barker hangs onto it. See, this manuscript is, apparently, a new gospel. Which is important because...reasons?

OK, so after 11 books, I’ve noticed that the Barker & Llwelyn series involve a lot more religion than I know anything about. I mean, when it comes to the religious category on Jeopardy, my answer is always “Jesus.” I’ve never read the Bible the whole way through - I read Acts of the Apostles in high school for an assignment, for which I had to actually go out and buy a Bible because the one we had was a family heirloom that couldn’t be opened without falling to pieces. In my lifetime I’ve attended a grand total of two church services - one when I was baptized at the ripe old age of 7 (I guess from ages 0-7 I was naught but a sinful hellbeast) and once in Germany I attended an Easter mass in a thousand year old cathedral because it was literally the only thing open on Easter Sunday in the whole town. Upper Franconia is suuuuper Catholic, you guys. Anyway, I took communion at that mass just to see what the body of Christ tastes like (burnt toast, I was disappointed). Does that mean I’m Catholic now? Hurray for gold-plated everything and indulgences? I mean, I’m not even 100% sure what I was baptized as back when I was a 7-yr-old unbaptized hellbeast…Lutheran, maybe? I think? I do enjoy posting lists of complaints on peoples’ doors. I mean, I could check, but that would require getting up and I both don’t want to and really don’t care all that much. Anyway, long story short: religion is not my strong suit. I don’t know the difference between a Baptist and an Episcopalian and a Methodist. Perhaps I should but honestly…eh. My point is, when Will Thomas writes about a manuscript that might be a new gospel written before Luke or Matthew or whoever...I just sort of smile and nod and go "yeah sure OK" and have zero idea what that might actually mean or its religious significance. I just hear “1000 year old manuscript” and think “that sounds awesome, gimme.”

Back to the book: this manuscript is so valuable, the people after it are willing to kill for it. Which puts Barker & Llewelyn in an awkward position. Even more awkward is the fact that Rebecca’s family, who seemed so cool in the last book, have now decided to shun her for marrying Thomas, a gentile. As usual, Barker & Llewelyn are caught between a rock and a hard place. Can they deliver the manuscript safely to the Vatican? Can Thomas repair the relationship between himself and his in-laws? Will Rebecca ever learn how to make a decent Pain au chocolat? Will we ever, ever meet Thomas’s massive Welsh family? Will Rebecca ever demand to get to know her small army of brothers- and sisters-in-law? Will Barker ever propose to Philippa? Will I ever learn the difference between various sects of Christianity? Find out tomorrow in Barker & Llewelyn: Lethal Pursuit!  Same bat time, same bat channel!

I love this series. I am well and truly hooked. Barker & Llewelyn are a more down-to-earth Holmes and Watson. There is just the right amount of action, historical detail, and mystery to satisfy any Sherlockian desperate for some 19th century English mystery. I don’t know of any other book series, save Meg Cabot’s Princess Diaries series, where I’ve stuck around past the 8th or 9th book. So many books! Not enough time for serieses! I mean, sometimes I entertain the thought of binging all 900,000 Discworld books, but there are so many other things I’d like to read, too…I wish I were a faster reader. Better yet, I wish I could be like the Doctor and just flip through a book and absorb all its contents at once. That’d be awesome.

Still. I adore Barker & Llewelyn - I will absolutely be there for any book they’re in, even if the series goes the full Anne Perry and goes on and on for like, 20+ books. I’m here for it. And I am on pins and needles for the next book. I really, really, really want Thomas to reconcile with his family in Wales. I want Barker to actually acknowledge that Philippa Ashleigh is his girlfriend. I JUST WANT MORE, DAMN IT!

OK, for lack of anything else to say, let’s fancast this thing.

OK, so Barker would obviously be played by Graham McTavish, aka Dougal from Outlander.

Admit it, he’d be absolutely perfect, right? Come on. I mean, just look at that face.

Thomas Llewelyn would be played by Taron Egerton because he’s Welsh and  absolutely pretty and tough enough to be Llewelyn

Yesssss.

Mac would be played by Paul Ready because Paul Ready is beautiful and I love him and would cast him in anything. Plus, I could see him as the finicky perfectionist Mac. Plus, I still ship Mac/Thomas, and I think he’d play well against Taron Edgerton. By which I mean they’re both gorgeous and I’d enjoy watching them.

Jeremy Jenkins would be played by Adam Nagaitis because he’s awesome and he’d be perfect as the squirrley / drunk half the time Jenkins.

Ho would be played by Benedict Wong because he would be perfect, though I’m not sure if my fantasy BBC/ITV/Netflix series budget would have enough money to get Benedict Wong. He’s got Marvel money now.

Rebecca Llwelyn nee Cowan nee Mocatta would be played by Jessica Brown Findlay because, eh, why not. I’m still traumatized/pissed off about Sybil’s death on Downton Abbey.

Tchéky Karyo as expert chef Etienne Dummolard because I can seriously picture him going into a long French tirade and throwing shit whenever Barker disrespects his cooking.

Michelle Gomez as Philippa Ashleigh, Barker’s Girlfriend, because I would love to see her and Graham McTavish as Barker snipe at each other.

Gemma Chan as Bok Fu Ying aka Miss Winter, Barker’s ward, because she is the perfect combination of elegance and badass.

Gaten Matarazzo as Soho Vic because I’m absolutely sure he could pull off a British accent and annoy the shit out of Thomas,

And this dog as Harm. Look at this dog!

Awww!

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone fond of a fun 19th century mystery-solving duo.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: People who dislike mysteries, detective private enquiry agent duos.

OVERALL SERIES RATING: 4.5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED VICTORIAN MYSTERY / MURDERINO FANGIRL RATING: 5/5

LETHAL PURSUIT RATING: 4/5

RELEASE DATE: November 12, 2019

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES: Olympus Mons

[eatgraypes]

Let’s Go Home

Character/Person : Tony Stark

Pairing : Dad Figure!Anthony x Reader

Time : Modern

Reader’s Gender : Female

Side Note : Domestic Violence Hotline, IM SO SORRY I DIDN’T DO JUSTICE TO YOUR REQUEST

Warnings : abuse, tony is sorta like obsessed with taking care of reader but its kinda cute, this was messily written as i was contemplating my entire existence 

Possibility Of Having Another Part : chances are low

Genre : sorta angst sorta fluff

Request : Can you write one where the reader is like 18-20 yrs old and works as an assistant for the avengers? She lives at home but her father is verbally abusive and sometimes physical. So she spends the night once in a while in her car. Tony suspects something isn’t right so he follows her home in his suit and witnesses her dad hitting her. He decides right there to move her in with the team. He calls her kitten and treats her like his own.

Word Count : 2664

Summary : Y/N was an assistant for the Avengers. An assistant that Tony loved dearly, treating her as his own daughter. He even packs her lunch. But, when Y/N realizes she’s been out way longer than her father would allow, she freaks and rushes home, only to get beaten by her father and rescued by Tony Stark and she, for the first time, accepts his affections, dearly needing them more than ever.

Tony Stark treated Y/N like she was his own. And he made sure everyone in the building knew that. From constantly nagging her to do more training, or packing her lunch despite everyone’s confused stares and snickers, Tony didn’t feel the need to sleep with the woman as he did with others. He felt the need to care for her in a platonic sense.

“Sir, I can just go buy something from the shop across the street,” you took a break from typing to glance up at a beaming and worn Tony Stark, otherwise known as Iron-Man.

“Nonsense. I already packed you lunch for the next three days.”

With that, he dropped a white bag onto your desk and ushered towards the training room. You kept your eyes steadied on him the entire time, a confused and concerned gaze you learned to keep whenever Tony was around.

Could anyone blame you for being just a tad bit perplexed?

Tony went from small gestures such as giving you a hug or wishing you luck that your legs wouldn’t end up sore from having to follow the Avengers around all day and take orders. He’d even end up booking you a massage to relax after you’d spend a day of having to run after everybody. 

Some might say getting this sort of treatment from Tony Stark was a luxury, especially since you weren’t actually an avenger but just a mere assistant. But, God, this was a nightmare that you couldn’t bring yourself to push away.

“I hope you like eggs, Y/N, ‘cause it’s the only thing he packed.”

The sudden voice startled you, slightly jumping out of your seat you whirled around to see Wanda standing just above your desk, in the same spot where Tony had just stood. Her face was slightly hidden as she peeked into the bag that Stark dropped off, coming into sight with nothing but egg-based meals.

You groaned as she sent an apologetic smile, “some of these don’t look that bad. Look, egg salad, egg sandwich, scrambled eggs,” as she continued to list the many meals that Tony had packed for you, you ran a hand through your hair and returned to typing away at your computer, occasionally pausing to jot down notes and the schedules of the Avengers.

“Miss Y/L/N, you’re needed on the third floor in Bucky’s room,” a voice had cut through Wanda’s sentence and you softly smiled, excused yourself, and pushed yourself up from your seat.

“Sorry, Wanda, I gotta go.”

She nodded and laid the bag of food down onto your desk, making sure to tie the ends of it so no bugs - though, she was sure since this was the Stark Tower that there wouldn’t even be bugs present in the first place - would get in. With that, you and Wanda went your separate ways.

It took a white, trotting down the hallway in your heels, though Tony kindly advised you to wear sneakers, and into the elevator to go see what exactly Bucky needed. You waved and whispered polite ‘hello’s’ to people who passed by, even going as far as to have a rather decent conversation with Bruce. You could tell how hard he was trying to be friendly and casual but at the same time polite by his furrowing eyebrows and fidgeting stance. You also knew fully well that Tony had told everyone to talk to you as one of them, not a coworker, but a friend. Hell, you were in the room, being pulled by his shoulder over yours when he told everyone.

“You called for me?” You knocked slightly on Bucky’s door, almost immediately being met with his face when he swung the door open. He forced a pained smile and glanced down at his own metal arm, watching as it lay limp against his side. Eyebrows shot up, you carefully took it into your own small hands.

“What happened?”

You led him out of his room and down the hall, determined to get him to Tony or Bruce quick enough so he’d be able to train or do combat again normally.

“Well, I uh,” he rubbed at the nape of his neck, smiling sheepishly when you turned to show your concern.

“Steve and I made a bet to see who could destroy the most punching bags in five minutes.”

You scoffed, but quickly covered your mouth with your free hand, not meaning to sound impolite.

“Sorry,”

“it’s okay, it was our faults anyways.”

Tony, yes him again, had also warned everyone that you were incredibly shy and since he wanted you to enjoy working at the tower and be completely comfortable he had informed everyone to not explode in your face just as they did with everyone else.

It took a while, but you dropped off Bucky at Tony’s lab as he ushered you to leave and spend your time on someone better. Waving him off and beaming, you stayed just a bit, waiting until Bucky’s arm was at least halfway through working again as you encouraged Tony and constantly assured Bucky his arm was going to be better than ever, eventually you had to leave Bucky’s side when Natasha rang you up and called you to meet her on her way down towards the first floor where your desk was.

Quickly composing yourself from getting a little startled at F.R.I.D.A.Y.S voice, you silently thanked it and rushed downstairs. Budging through many people walking through the halls and ducking under Thor, who swung his hammer violently, you made a beeline towards the redhead you loved to see.

“Hey, Nat,” you said, out of breath.

She whipped around, her brightly colored hair scratching against her pale face and whirring in the air for a split second until she stilled to look at you. A grin immediately replacing the stilled expression she once had.

“Hey, Y/N. Sharon and I were going out for a few drinks, want to tag along? It could be like a girls night out.”

You parted your lips, contemplating if you should go or not. You needed a break, but you weren’t sure if you deserved it. At seeing you battling yourself, Natasha took your hands and caressed them with her own, rubbing circles on the back of your hands soothingly. You exhaled.

Maybe you could use a break.

You chuckled at Natasha’s raised eyebrow as she anticipated your answer. You nodded and gently smiled.

Her grin became even wider, leaning in to whisper into your ear, you leaned in too, “good. Because there’s a special for ladies at 12.”

Your eyes shot open and you could feel your heart skip a bit. Your bottom lip was sucked in between your teeth and quickly, you fished in your pockets to retrieve your phone that was long lost in the deep caved holes of your pants.

Upon feeling the cold metal against your fingers, you pulled it out of your pocket and pressed the home button. A picture of you sitting sprawled against the grass with a bunch of hand-picked flowers bundled up in between your thin fingers came on display. Right above the picture was the time.

1:36 A.M.

You pushed your phone back into your pocket and scurried over to your desk, reaching over it to retrieve your purse that was seated in your chair. From the sudden harsh movement as you tugged at the handle of your purse, you unknowingly knocked over the bag of food that Tony had dropped off for you, causing it to spill all over the floor. Natasha watched you run around your desk to grab a few things, almost tripping on your own feet as you sprinted out the building, bid your farewells to Natasha and F.R.I.D.A.Y and into your car.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

You wanted to cry already thinking about what would happen to you by the time you got home at such a late hour. Sure, you were nineteen, but you didn’t live alone and you certainly didn’t live at the Avengers tower as everyone else did. Despite how well the Avengers treated you, you were still an assistant, so you couldn’t really be offered a room there unless it was really needed.

You just didn’t know how to bring up the fact that you weren’t exactly being treated properly back at home.

You winced at the thoughts of your father throwing insults at you and screaming into your face until your jaw shook and your legs gave out on you. Though it wasn’t the verbal abuse that made you want to leave the house and into the police station or back into the Avengers building, pleading for help. No, it was the physical abuse. It was rare your father would physically hurt you. Only doing it when he felt particularly angry or when he drank too much. You shuddered.

Your phone rang beside you on the passenger seat, most likely having fallen out of your purse when you hurriedly threw it into the seat to start up your car and speed home. Subconsciously, you gripped the steering wheel harder in fear that it was your father giving you a harsh warning of what was to come when you arrived. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted an I.D picture that was no where near close to your fathers. Curious, you quickly glanced down at the phone that vibrated and rung loudly.

Mr. Stark

You let out a sigh of relief, still confused as to why he was calling you at a time like this, but picked up the call anyways as it seemed to ring on forever, as if Tony wasn’t going to give up on calling you until you picked up.

“Mr. Stark?”

“Y/N,” his voice was stern and it faintly reminded you of the way your father would say your name before raising one of his hands to strike you. You swallowed a lump in your throat, trying to hide how shaky you were.

“Yes?”

“Natasha told me you left in a hurry, almost as if you were scared. Are you okay?” His tone quickly changed to a more concerned one. You didn’t know how desperately you wanted to hug him and cry until now.

“Oh, fine.” You sharply inhaled, hoping that Tony didn’t hear the way your voice quivered.

“Y/N. I came by your desk and found the food I made spilled all over the floor. Nat said your eyes were practically bulging out of your head when you checked your phone.”

You cursed under your breath, murmured your apologies to your boss, and hung up, tossing your phone back to the passenger side before accelerating faster towards your house, ignoring all of Tony’s calls the entire ride.

By the time you parked, you were already crying. You’ve gone through this so many times you should’ve been able to take one more hit, but you didn’t. You didn’t suck it up and at least try to fight back. You always just sat there and let the hot tears damp your rosy cheeks as you absorbed his hits and felt smaller and smaller by every blow, becoming the shy, quiet, forcibly happy woman you are now.

You turned the key, pushing the door open, being met with the sound of a static T.V and a beeping microwave.

“Father?” You bit your tongue.

You peeked inside the kitchen and quietly strolled in, shutting the door to the microwave so it would stop making the obnoxious beeping noise. You anxiously turned your head, expecting your father to be standing right behind you with his hands curled into fists. But he wasn’t. Your fear grew by the second as you sneakily made your way over to your room to take a quick peek. He wasn’t in there either. You let out a sigh of relief, pushing your arms out of your blazer.

“Y/N.”

The voice made the tears that you were holding silently fall out of your eyes. You rubbed at them, making sure to get rid of them before your father saw and punished you even more.

“Y-Yes?” You heart sped.

“Come here,” your throat clenched.

Your feet automatically shuffled it’s way over to the living room, immediately betraying you.

Before you could full comprehend it, you were standing in front of your father, heels pressing against each other and arms crossed in a pity attempt of shielding yourself before he could really do anything.

“Come, sit by me.” His voice was a bit softer, scaring you even more.

Deciding not to be hesitant in fear that you’d anger him and bring this on yourself, you seated yourself on his left side and kicked at the carpet below, keeping your eyes trained on your feet right underneath you.

The T.V. buzzed right in front of you, waiting to be switched to another channel and used properly. Your father, who had noticed your fidgeting, chuckled deeply.

You snapped your eyes up to meet his, eyebrows furrowed in a way to show your clear confusion.

He sent a smile at you, and shocked, you couldn’t help but smile back, a bad habit of yours. Before you could say anything to further deepen the moment, your father lifted a hand and struck you against the cheek. You stumbled back and hit your spine against the armrest of the couch, already feeling a forming bruise.

“Wha-?”

“Stupid fucking bitch, you can’t expect me to love you again. You crossed the line. What were you doing out there late?” As he yelled into your face, drawing his hand back again, you pressed a hand against your swollen cheek and crawled backwards, accidentally slipping off the couch and onto the hardwood floor.

“No, please.” You pleaded, tears stinging your eyes.

Your father remained silent, already having lifting his leg to stomp down on you. You groaned at the impact and cried harder, face buried into the floor and your arms protecting your face as he beat into your side. 

“Stupid,” you felt your rib give up on you, cracking.

“Fucking,” he spat on you, continuing to throw blow after blow at your face. You felt yourself slip from consciousness.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from Miss Y/L/N.”

You no longer felt anything hitting you, but continued to hide your face in your hands, curling yourself into a ball and shivering as the cold air hit your torn shirt.

It was a while. You heard arguing, but it was seemingly white noise to you as you thought about everything in your life. You thought back on everything, starting to feel the pain catch up on you.

“Kitten,” a pair of arms wrapped around you. You were quick to push them away and wiggle back into the wall. 

“No, Y/N,” the voice continued, but you cried harder, keeping your eyes shut. You kicked and shoved as the body grew closer to you, trying to get you into their arms and safety.

“Y/N. It’s Tony,” you proceeded to shove and kick until you had to register the name the voice mentioned. Your eyes fluttered open and your prayers were answered when your vision focused on a man with a goatee and tousled brown hair.

You opened your lips to say something, a ‘thank you’ at least. a ‘why’, but unable to find your voice, you threw your arms around Tony and cried into his suited shoulder. He patted you and whispered his ‘sorry’s’ into your hair. 

He hesitated, picking you up and stepping out the door, walking right past your beaten father who laid limp on the floor. The floor you once laid limp on.

All you could hear by the time he made it out of the building was approaching police sirens, whirring wind, your own quiet whimpers, and Tony’s soothing voice. He pushed a strand of hair out of your face and hugged you tightly, his own tears staining his face.

“Let’s go home.”

[hiikisekki-blog]

Smeb x Faker

Sanghyeok was more or less the one who initiated their meeting.

When he walked into that quaint little café in Seoul - bundled up in his puffy black jacket during the off-season, when people were supposed to be at home away from League and spending time with their family, or girlfriends for that matter - Kyungho was too surprised.

He watched Sanghyeok glance around the café, frowning slightly, before his gazes directed right at Kyungho, boring into his eyes. Too late, he was already striding forward towards his table.

Sanghyeok stepped onto the elevated wooden platform of the booth, before hesitating, his eyes suddenly cast to the side like he shouldn’t be there.

“Sorry, Kyungho, can I sit here?”

A few options ran through Kyungho’s mind. He could reject him, coming up with some lame excuse like there was no space for the two of them in that little booth, or that he wanted his privacy. but this was Sanghyeok. They knew each other, and there were no other seats in the café. Kyungho suddenly realised that Sanghyeok’s brown eyes were once again focused on him, waiting for his reaction. Kyungho cleared his throat awkwardly.

“umm... of course. “ Kyungho shifted the laptop he brought with him to give Sanghyeok some of his own space, taking the bag he had put on the table and throwing it down haphazardly on the floor.

Sanghyeok slid opposite of Kyungho, taking off his jacket and throwing it around the chair, letting it hang off the back, before standing up, blending himself into the queue for coffee.

Kyungho glanced back at his queue, clicking through the different windows until he land on KaKao Talk, clicking for that one person he knew would be living online 24/7.

Smeb: “does sanghyeok not go back during hols?”

Peanut: “yeah. Says family r not nice ot be with and company of computers are better.”

peanut: “btw why do you ask?”

Smeb: “Nah, its nothing.”

Peanut: “tell me u saw him.”

Smeb: “I did not see him.”

Peanut: “seems like someone's in a mood.”

Kyungho groaned slightly, flicking back to his queue screen in hops of finding a game. Obviously to no avail.

Smeb: “I am not in a mood.”

peanut: “Apparently.”

There was a pause in their conversation, Kyungho unsure what he should say next. he should really ask Wangho what to do when Sanghyeok suddenly walks up to your table and is now sitting with you.

Peanut: “well, if you do see him, talk to him about League.”

Kyungho pondered over that suggestion. Talk to Sanghyeok about League? But, technically, by their teams and their standing, they were depicted arch enemies by OGN, both fighting for the top spot in the League ladder. Talking to Faker about the one thing they both loved most couldn’t be that bad right?

Smeb: “okay, thanks.”

Peanut: “np, good luck on yr date.”

Smeb: “it’s not a date.”

Peanut: “yeah right it isn’t.”

Kyungho groaned, closing his KaKao Talk. His queue was everlasting, his last game about 20 minutes ago. On hindsight, he had absolutely forgotten to ask Wangho what about League he should ask about. Obviously not pro league. Then what else was there?

-------------------------------------------------

Sanghyeok stared at him, incredulity in his dark eyes, quickly wiped away before being replaced by an almost childlike curiosity.

He had come back with his own mug of hot latte, and one of the cafe’s famous waffles in the other. The hand that he was using to stir the coffee had stopped, and was now idly holding the plasting white stirrer, and Kyungho desperately hoped that his queue would find a game or something like a natural disaster could occur now so that he could just run out of this awkward situation. (although he realises that it would just be rather rude to wish for death to just come upon the other innocent people in the cafe.)

Then, quickly, Sanghyeok turned his gaze away from Kyungho’s, and the hand was stirring again.

“How do I think about the current meta? Well,” Sanghyeok paused, his voice already hollowing out to that famous monotone of his, “I think that Ashe following into the meta from last year was a nice surprise and especially with Camille now, there are more power picks than ever.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” The words were out of Kyungho’s mouth before he could stop them. “I play pro league too, and I dare say that my team is one of the best in the world. So stop treating this like an interview and actually try to have a decent conversation with me.”

Okay, this is where he probably just crashed through some unseen line that he and Sanghyeok had drawn, and Kyungho ducked down the screen of his computer, trying to muster up some apology for being exceedingly rude to someone older than him, when Sanghyeok seemed to take pity of his flustered form in the form of answering with a little bit more life in his tone.

“Well, I’m not sure what to say about the current meta that you won’t know.”

Right. Kyung forgot that they were both absolute conversation killers when it came to socialising. They would usually leave it to their more, active, friendly and outgoing teammates to do it for them.

“I wish that Fiora was played more often. She’s a good carry, but I don’t think that she’ll be any match against Camille.”

“Camille has already been severely NERFed since the 7.1 patch came out, especially since there were a ton of NERFs in that patch with so few updates to other things.”

“But even with the NERFs I think Camille is still a huge threat with LeBlanc and Rengar. Even if they’re both assassins and LeBlanc has been on a losing streak.”

“Are you implying that I should play LeBlanc when the season starts again?”

“Yeah.” Kyungho hesitated a little, knowing how Faker had been so cautious on LeBlanc ever since MSI 2015 and it was a touchy subject for them both. But he had Sanghyeok’s attention, even if they both didn’t maintain eye contact. “Wangho is on a Lee Sin winning streak right now, and he’s the one who broke the curse on Lee Sin during the LCK Spring Split. And he’s still undefeated on the Lee Sin. Maybe you could do the same with LeBlanc. Make her absolute.”

“Perhaps.” Sanghyeok said vaguely, even if Kyungho could see the glimmer of eagerness in his eyes. “But the team has 4 potential hyper carries, and lately I’ve been plying a more utility and support role in mid to help either Wangho or Junsik be the carry.” Sanghyeok let out a frustrated sigh through his nose. “it’s not that I don’t like others hard carrying the game instead of me, it’s just that when Wangho picks Lee Sin he just goes crazy on it.”

Just look at MSI, came unspoken. They both knew what happened. Although not as disasterous as the start of 2016 MSI, it was a bit too over the top, playing with their opponents, have them run around in circles when SKT had a chokehold on them the whole time. When they picked a team composition that worked especially well at dismantling rookie or unexperienced teams, they just absolutely destroyed them. Wangho got 14 kills before the 20 minute mark.

“it kinda feels the same here. Just that I end up being one of the hyper carries.”

“Nah. Well, I may be wrong but,” Sanghyeok paused, but when he spoke, there was no doubt in his voice. “I think you play a rather similar role to my own in most games. We both can be hyper carries on the champions that we pick but it’s usually the planned carry that gets all the kills, the CS, the gold. And then I just run in  to back them up with Orianna or Lulu.”

“But I don’t think you particularly like to be in the shadows.”

“I think you would. Especially if you guys won that game. That thing that you did against Samsung in Spring Split Semis? That was it.” Sanghyeok took another gulp from his rapidly cooling coffee.Kyungho took the opportunity to scroll through his windows and check his queue again. What Sanghyeok said had been partially right. After all, he knew that he was a better team player than Sanghyeok from the start, which had placed him in the top position for the best players of Worlds 2016 by the casters, garnering him more fans but also the stiff, scripted drama between Sanghyeok and himself, causing a rather unintentional divide between them. But the casters underestimated how strong the rest of SKT actually was.

“But are you not happy that you don’t get to be the carry? I mean, you’re someone who got scouted just from your ranked solo queue stats. you were meant to be the carry. Especially with your Katarina plays at the beginning of the Spring Split.”

“Sadly, it’s supposed to have all been left behind the moment SKT T1 K disbanded.” Sanghyeok eyed his mug before taking another gulp, giving Kyungho a clear view of his throat as he swallowed. “K was meant to be built around me, but we were all from solo queue. We all had talent. And Coach did a good job of blending us all together.”

Perhaps this was just Sanghyeok’s own way in saying that he did miss being the carry. And Kyungho knew how that felt. He’d made it all the way to the semifinals in LCK Spring Split, only to fall to SKT in the finals. Much reminiscent of World 2015. And of Worlds 2016, but they had made their last stand during Semifinals against SKT, and they could have beat them. Hell, they could have beaten Samsung after they supposedly beat SKT. But that was all ‘could have’s and ‘what if’s. There was only now, where that SKT mountain, that SKT house that Faker, Kkoma, and all of the other SKT members had painstakingly built up and maintained with their blood, sweat and tears. (perhaps not so much tears, but the words served it own effect.)

He watched Sanghyeok gather up his coat, saying a brief goodbye before turning for the door. He shouldn’t think that they would meet again.

---------------------------------------

A/N: okay, so this is the first part in this 5+1 LoL thing between Smeb and Faker that i’m going on. I got the inspiration after reading a good fic on AO3 (its called “when we give enough of ourselves away we lose sight of who we are and sometimes we call that love and sometimes we call that self-destruction”. it’s centered around Deft but it has a really cute Smeb and Faker scene inside, which just made me want to read the whole fic again. Props to birdring (twoif)) i’m going to write another part, but that is going to be a maybe because my exams are coming up. So like and reblog and message if you want me to continue!

(and this style of writing for Faker and Smeb may be a little to OC for you but sadly, I've never met Faker or Smeb before, and I've never been to Korea so that’s already an issue. I hope that you can use all of your wonderful imagination and pls pretend for the sake of the story. Plus, i’m open to constructive criticism if you have any. Thanks!)

[spicynbachili1]

Half-Life is 20! Happy Birthday! We are all old!

Goodness me, completely happy birthday Half-Life! 20 years outdated at present. However are you continue to as contemporary because the day you have been born? I’ve been re-playing the sport for the primary time in a few years to search out out. And crikey, it’s a bit good.

Again in 2015, when Half-Life 2 had simply turned a mere 10 years outdated, I went again to replay it and located myself enormously shocked by how a lot I’d forgotten. It wasn’t fairly the magnificent recreation I’d remembered, buried in pacing points, but nonetheless very good.

I forgive myself just a little extra simply when discovering simply how a lot I’ve forgotten concerning the unique Half-Life, what with the extra decade. However I’d assumed it could have aged to the purpose the place it had change into a little bit of an anachronism within the 21st century. You recognize what? It actually hasn’t. Whereas it has its points, it’s nonetheless a very fantastic recreation to play. So I’m going to diverge off right into a “what I’d forgotten” in a bit, however first I need to discuss what I’d remembered.

What I bear in mind most clearly of all was the anticipation. 1998 was an unbelievable yr for video games, and even higher for being enthusiastic about forthcoming video games. And I bear in mind studying these first previews, these first unique screenshots, in PC Gamer on the time. And the factor that almost all blew me away, had me scrubbing at my eyes cartoon type, was that it seemed like a recreation set in the true world!

I bear in mind seeing the photographs of places of work, with tables, espresso mugs, drinks machines and microwaves. And I’d by no means seen something prefer it. Video games, particularly FPS video games, have been set in area! Or in hell! Or someplace totally dissimilar. Right here I used to be taking a look at correct real-life locations, mundanity crammed with pleasure, and it appeared so impossibly thrilling.

Getting my arms on it, Half-Life instantly rewarded this pleasure with what would change into a infamous and genre-redefining opening sequence. Not solely was there the monorail credit sequence, wherein you noticed glimpses of this underground office, glimpses of potential glitches and a probably unhealthy working surroundings, however then when that was over… you simply went to work!

It’s a piece that feels virtually trivial to play it now, with video games having realized a lot from Valve’s starting. Whereas nonetheless someway so many don’t study the lesson that the extraordinary is a lot extra thrilling once you’ve had a dose of the atypical, it’s commonplace to have video games offer you just a little peek at what the world may need been like earlier than the baddies confirmed up. But it nonetheless does it in addition to wherever else. You mill about in corridors, watch folks by means of home windows, ultimately comply with directions and choose up your particular go well with. You continue to strive a number of lockers, blow up the meals within the microwave, after which once you’re prepared, head into the lab the place you’re assigned. After which, after all, all of it goes unsuitable. There’s a resonance cascade (nonetheless no thought what a type of is), and the office is exploding, scientists are dying, and there are terrifying aliens in all places.

What follows is an unbelievable collection of more and more elaborate set items, as Gordon Freeman unintentionally stumbles his manner from researcher to governmental enemy, just because he refuses to die. Crowbar in hand, to play it at present is to expertise every little thing nice concerning the FPS, in some ways higher than the style has provided for years. There’s simply a lot happening, so many surprises, challenges, dramatic modifications in surroundings and circumstance, tiny and detailed corridors, or huge open outside areas battling helicopters and hulking alien brutes.

And it nonetheless appears unbelievable! Sure, blocky and dated and crude, however with such improbable type. It probably helps that gaming is in such a pixelly retro place simply now, to see the inventive type at its perfect. However actually, like a 1920s cartoon nonetheless appears superb within the period of CGI motion pictures, Half-Life stays an aesthetic delight within the gaming way forward for RTX 2070s. The textures are unpleasantly blurry in locations, however past this, it nonetheless efficiently delivers senses of vertigo, horror, gore and scale as a lot because it ever did. Half-Life at 20 is, with some caveats laid out beneath, nonetheless a surprising videogame, and I’m very shocked to search out myself arguing, holds up higher in 2018 than Half-Life 2.

So let’s do not forget that which was forgotten:

All the things I’d Forgotten About Half-Life

Working round on 2% well being

Clearly FPS video games are experimenting with well being once more of late, having spent too a few years with solely “crouch to heal” as an possibility. Now, I like me some crouch to heal, however what it takes away is the daft pleasure of how a lot your expertise of any stage or sequence can change once you’ve minimal well being left. Half-Life presents well being very generously, however it additionally has prolonged areas the place it’s more durable to search out, with such good timing. Getting right into a scrape, and simply making it by means of with 2% well being left, can completely be addressed with a quickload and one other strive. But it surely’s so extremely rewarding to simply hold going, and scramble.

It so considerably modifications my method, having me desperately dashing between obstacles, intentionally not preventing one thing so as to simply scrabble my method to the closest door, frantically smashing crates within the hope of discovering a number of extra p.c to maintain going. After which I’ll arrive on the wall models, and simply drink that magical well being elixir to my fill, and rush out emboldened and preventing as soon as extra. Cor, that’s good gaming.

A number of routes

Over the past decade we’ve had the good pleasure of seeing FPS video games get higher at hiding their corridors. And certainly we’ve seen the style transfer into ‘open worlds’, the place the corridors are gone solely. However Half-Life did it the olden manner. You didn’t must do every little thing only one manner. You would discover the raise and get upstairs that manner, or you could possibly uncover a passage by means of an airvent and climb bins. It doesn’t do it a lot, it wasn’t attempting to be extra, however it’s simply sufficient that you just really feel a better sense of freedom.

Or for those who’re me, you simply really feel nervousness that you just didn’t choose one of the simplest ways, and reload or circle round to see what would have occurred the opposite, and spoil the magic for your self since you’re a large twit.

Moments of pathos

I feel after we bear in mind Half-Life, we bear in mind jokes about Freeman’s mute methods, about how there have been solely three or 4 scientist skins and simply the one Barney (who wasn’t even known as Barney), about foolish barks and enjoyable gags. So once I got here out of the opening explosion to discover a scientist on his knees, trying CPR on a dying Barney, it actually shook me. This felt actually, actually actual.

When did you even see CPR in a recreation? Apart from in a cutscene exhibiting the hateful film model the place the particular person wakes up, coughs a bit, after which carries on working. Correct hopeless CPR the place you’re simply desperately attempting to maintain somebody not-dead lengthy sufficient for a medic to have the ability to assist? That’s what you see in Half-Life, and it actually struck me exhausting. It’s fairly the factor.

The horrible leaping

I’m unsure how I’d forgotten this, however I’d fully erased from my thoughts how terrible the leaping is. It’s a colossal mess. Glitchy, fiddly, susceptible to not working simply once you want it most, and all rendered much more terrible by Gordon Freeman’s apparently travelling all over the place on rollerskates. You roll to a cease, which is ace when ‘skidding’ right into a struggle, however simply garbage once you’re attempting to precariously stability on tiny platforms to succeed in a gap in a wall. Oh the cursing.

It will get even stupider with the mantling. Bear in mind mantling? You needed to crouch, then bounce, and kind of be doing each and neither or one thing to have the ability to attain a platform. It by no means feels proper, or at the least it by no means appears like you’re doing it proper. It’s so, so odd that it was such an enormous a part of the sport, when it was so hopelessly coded. And simply think about leaping off a ladder…

It feels terrible killing Vortigaunts

Actually terrible! In case you’ve performed Half-Life 2 and past, you’ll know Vortigaunts are Gordon’s associates! They’re light aliens, on his aspect, ever-helpful and type. Right here they’re simply attempting to zap you and also you’ve no selection however to kill them. And it by no means feels good!

My child’s obtained a toy stuffed Vortigaunt in his room! That is terrible!

Black Mesa should order from Amazon

That the plant puzzle was nice, not horrible

I bear in mind hating it! I bear in mind everybody hating it! This huge round chamber, on a number of flooring, with a three-headed monstrous plant pecking its mighty plant-beaks on the platforms as you tried to run round. One hit killed you. It was brutal, and annoying, and other than Xen, the bit everybody complained about.

Besides no! Now, I’ve no thought how a lot was 21 yr outdated me simply not getting it for too lengthy, however the entire part is marvellous. It’s a multi-part puzzle, with enormous branching sections to finish in your personal order, to allow a button that kills the bugger for you. All you could do is keep quiet. And yeah, it’s silly that you just couldn’t get onto a ladder from crouch, and that for some motive this made noise, however it additionally meant you had these glorious heart-skippy moments of attempting to scramble away because the mighty beaks started their terrifying pecking the place you simply have been.

Then its eventual destruction is sort of so satisfying! It’s one in every of my favorite bits within the recreation!

The complete prepare part

Much less so the trains. A lot as once I replayed HL2 I found simply how ridiculously lengthy the hovercraft part goes on, lengthy, lengthy after anybody desires it to be there, gosh Half-Life lets the trainlines overstay their welcome. Tracks lie in prolonged gray corridors, on which you journey an automatic wood platform, whereas avoiding obstacles, stopping to filter out areas, journey between flooring, explode bombs, and so forth. And hurrah! Besides you do it sooooo a lot. Again and again. Gosh I used to be sick of the prepare part by the point it was lastly over.

Watching the fights

Now, I hadn’t actually forgotten that Half-Life had the troopers and the aliens struggle one another. That was simply probably the most astonishing factor in 1998, to see your enemies turning on one another, letting you maintain again and have them skinny their very own numbers earlier than you stepped in. However I’d forgotten how good it’s!

The AI is, actually, higher than most you see at present. Troopers run away after they’re practically useless! Gosh, which latest recreation final considered that? They transfer round as a substitute of simply coming up and down behind a wall! How can this be?! And it means the fight they’ve between themselves is fascinating to observe. You are feeling prefer it may go both manner, altering what you’ll must be ready for once you have interaction.

How lengthy it’s

I’d deliberate for this last entry to be a pithy touch upon Xen, maybe confirming it’s as unhealthy as all of us bear in mind, or archly observing that it’s fairly good. I’ve no thought. As a result of regardless of taking part in it over the weekend, and all day at present, I’m nonetheless not there! This recreation is big! FPS video games was once enormous!

However I’m having such a very good time with it. That is large, and for those who’re one of many many individuals who both forgot to be born till too not too long ago, or simply by no means did again then, that is one in every of only a few video games that basically genuinely deserves being performed past its historic significance. It’s a hell of a whole lot of enjoyable to play, and that’s and not using a assortment of “although”s and “for its time”s. It simply is, proper now, an excellent recreation.

from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/half-life-is-20-happy-birthday-we-are-all-old/

[gotstory]

My 20 year old husband - [Day 7 : Tomorrow]

20 yr old Jungkook, at the top of his idol boyband career, has a secret only he & his bandmates know – An underground relationship, with you, a girl he met at a fanmeeting. Things get a little out of hand and you find out you’re pregnant.

Read: Day 1 / Day 2 / Day 3 / Day 4 / Day 5 / Day 6 / Day 7 /

"Noona!"

It was a vaguely familiar, deep, throaty and husky voice.

You strained to make out where the voice was coming from, but you couldn't.

It caught your ears for a second time, louder, "Noona! Here!"

As you tip-toed, you see fluffy blonde hair and a long arm belonging to Taehyung, flailing at you.

You make your way over, wondering why he would not be in the waiting room.

"Hey Taehyung," You smiled at the doe-eyed boy, "Why're you by yourself?" you noticed he was already changed out of his stage outfit.

He smiled broadly and his eyes twinkled as he spoke, "I'm here to get you! Come!" Tugging at your sleeve, he pulled you lightly towards the exit.

There was a mysterious charm about him that you couldn't really put your finger to. He was a little cheeky, goofy, and almost child-like. But when he spoke, that boom-box-God-given voice never failed to stun you.

He led you to the same carpark from earlier and there were no other cars except their black MPV.

"Okay. Just wait, Jungkookie is on his way. Don't go anywhere!" With the same innocent smile, he waved and hopped into his van. You see Jimin pressed against the window, animatedly waving at you as well.

You laughed while waving back, wondering how much more childish Jungkook might be if he was the youngest among them all. Not that you minded it one bit, but it was a side you hadn't quite seen of him yet.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Jungkook's POV)

Jungkook slipped his phone back into his pocket after receiving V's message that the coast was clear. He was the first to rush out of the waiting room and his members gave priority to get changed after the concert.

He wanted to make tonight a special evening and it was all happening at the speed of light.

This trip was special, the first of its kind unlike any others. All he had been preparing for was the concert but this was a welcomed surprise, only that time wasn't on his side.

Armed with flowers, he got onto a hired ride.

He saw you in a distance and pulled up just before where you were.

In his sleek black sneakers, he stepped out anxiously, flowers hidden behind the broadness of his back.

---------------------------- (your pov)

A long black car had appeared in sight but stopped a few car lengths away.

"Jungkook?"

Out stepped a casually dressed Jungkook, in a white sweater and fitted black bottoms. He had a simple monochromatic style that only helped his sharp features stand out more.

This was one of the many simple fantasies he had - to pick up his girlfriend and present her with flowers, and be a car-door gentleman.

He did all of that, with a sheepish smile plastered on his face, all while looking on the ground and occasionally at your face to see if you were finding this all too cheesy.

You couldn't believe how sweet he was to go to such extent, and the awkwardness that was screaming at you only reassured you that he was indeed an innocent boy at heart, full of thoughts about love but no real practice.

He was such a gem.

"Did you enjoy the concert?" he asked, once you had settled down from admiring the flowers.

You looked at his hands and wondered how they were so toned and well-built for a twenty year old. It only gave you a glimpse of the practice he had done to get where he was.

"You were just awesome." you nodded at him.

He reached over and held an open palm to you.

You weren't sure what that meant so you kept still, showing him a puzzled expression.

"Aren't you gonna hold my hand?" He asked, looking up at you with those large sparkly eyes.

"Oh." Your heart started to pick up its pulse, as you gently placed your hand in his.

He enclosed his fingers around your palm and scooted closer to you, biting his lower lip shyly and looking out of the window.

"You know," he started speaking again, eyes still fixed outside at the night lights. "I won't be here tomorrow."

You felt his grip tighten on yours, meaningfully.

Of course I do. I've been following your schedule, how would I not.

There wasn't anything else you could say to make things better at that point, since you wished it wouldn't end either.

Jungkook wordlessly took off a thin bracelet from his wrist and latched it onto yours.

"I just wanted you to have something.... So you'll remember that you're mine now."

Tears pricked at your eyes as you stared at the piece of silver. You weren't going to cry of course, even though it was comforting to hear how he felt about you. But you couldn't help but dread his eminent departure.

"I have nothing I can leave with you..." You mumbled, obviously saddened.

"Baby girl, please don't--." he pulled you into a hug, seeing that you were nearly in tears.

You buried your head into his chest, taking in his warmly comforting scent.

It was such a blissful moment for  Jungkook, to have someone he could finally have and hold. This was the scene he had been playing in his mind each time he imagined holding his girl in his arms while singing the ballads he'd fantasised. He wanted so much to savour this feeling.

The warmth of a cuddly body against his. The softness of your smooth skin and the gentle touch. The softly seductive way you spoke to him that sent shivers down his spine.

You couldn't believe this was happening and how you grew to like him so much, so soon. It was unlike you, but something about this meeting just went way beyond your control. You fell for him, hard.

"I can't believe so much has happened in the last few days." You whispered as you looked up at him.

He smiled back, brushing away the hair on your face.

"Me neither. It's all thanks to the snow isn't it?" he crinkled his nose  making you laugh a little.

Even in the firm hold of his arms, you just couldn't believe this was real. You continued to look into his eyes, lost in your random thoughts until you heard his voice again.

"Couldn't you stay with me for tonight? I'll promise to take you home at dawn."

You were surprised at his suggestion.

As much as you longed to spend a little more time with him, you weren't intending to sleep in his hotel room again.

"But Jungkook..."

He rested his forehead against yours and he closed his eyes, not wanting you to continue. He breathed out those magic words that made you weak.

"I need you."

Time froze for the second time today.

Like, literally? Or like, figuratively? Or...

Hearing outright confessions made butterflies dance wild in your stomach and it was impossible to hide your pleasure.

"I'm leaving early in the morning." he continued, "this makes tonight, our last night."

His eyes pleaded earnestly with yours, holding both your hands in his.

"I've never felt so desperate." He chuckled a little, embarrassed.

You looked into his eyes and saw the tinge of sadness and loneliness that appeared again. It broke your heart just to know he would be feeling like this when he returned home to the dorm after their schedules. How could you say no to him?

Your fingers found their way to his cheek as they traced the lines of tall nose bridge and thinly carved lips. They were so well structured that it looked so surreal.

"You're just perfect, Jungkook. Too perfect." You mumbled, "Why me.........?"

--------------------

"Jimin-ah," Jin tapped on his shoulders to wake him up.

The sleepy younger boy blinked and saw that they had arrived at their hotel.

"Uh, hyung." he started yawning and picking up his bag.

"Did JK say where he was taking her?" Jin asked as he let the other members alight from the car before them.

Jimin thought for a moment, "Not really, but he told me not to wait up for him tonight. He said he'd already packed his stuff and would be back tomorrow morning to check out with us."

"So you have the room to yourself?"Jin asked, knowing the boys shared a room but Jimin hadn't exactly slept in it at all.

Jimin nodded, "Umm, what's up hyung?"

Jin's expression was hard to read with a sigh. "I just wonder if he'll be alright on his own."

Jimin hopped out of the car, glad that the lobby was empty and void of fans at that late hour.

"Shall we go take a walk? It's the last night anyway." He asked Jin, "We haven't done that since Norway last year... "

Jin laughed, "Sure, as long as you don't lose your bag again."

--------------------------------------------

Jungkook smiled at you in silence, gently resting your head on his shoulders.

"We're almost there." He whispered.

Your eyes scanned the surroundings and it was a part of town you didn't recognise.

"Weren't you headed back to your hotel?"

"Why would I waste such a precious night in that hotel? I mean yes, it was a nice place, but I found some place better... to make it a special night." His face crinkled into a shy smile, making you more curious where he was taking you.

As the driver came to a stop, you saw that it was a small plot of land that was overlooking a hilltop of the city. It was a very secluded spot of town that was uphill and probably pricey by local standards, to spend a night in.

"Alright, stay here and put on your jackets. It's gonna be chilly outside." He pulled a muffler over your neck and wrapped it around you, satisfied to be able to provide for you properly now.

He stepped out and briefly spoke to the driver, probably making the arrangements for pick up the next morning.

It was midnight now and you were growing curious at what he had in mind for the next 6 hours.

He couldn't have planned anything big, he doesn't even know this place and he's hardly had any time anyway. Furthermore, he's just twenty, not like a thirty-year-old romantist. Let's not get all jittery with hope here.

The door clicked was pulled open by Jungkook himself.

"Are you ready?" He asked, an excited expression on his face.

"I guess....." You mumbled and shifted to the door, climbing out of the large car, with the help of Jungkook's extended hand.

"Ok, close your eyes now." He said, as he turned you around, covering your eyes with his hands.

"What? What, why? No, I'm scared Jungkook-ah!" You protested, backing away to no avail as his strong arms held you against his body.

"I'm here, you have to learn to trust me now, jagi." At his words, you froze and stopped resisting.

"Ahhh... so this is how these magic words work huh?" He giggled and continued to hold you by the waist with one hand, and the other covering your eyes.

You could only see the ground beneath his fingers as he felt your eyelashes sweeping his fingers rapidly.

"Stop peeping now, you're gonna spoil the fun, I warned you...."

You sighed, and shut your eyes, now completely relying on his lead to take you ahead. It helped to feel his warm body against yours, in such a comfortable closeness. You didn't want to admit it but you could stay like this the whole night if he ever wanted to.

"I'm going to count to 3 and then you can open your eyes. Only on my count. Promise?" His voice was getting chirpier by the moment and it made you smile just thinking of what he probably looked like as he said that smiling.

You felt him moving away as the cool night breeze hit your face again. His footsteps were light as he shuffled around in front of you for a few moments and he was moving some stuff before he sat down with a small sound of relief.

"Okay.... one, two...."

Your eyes fluttered open unable to contain the excitement any longer.

"three!"

There was Jungkook, seated on an open air little camping ground, filled with cosy throws and pillows, a small bonfire, and am extremely large tent that was surrounded by blinking fairy lights.

It was an incredible sight that only existed in your romantic imagination, or in exaggerated episodes of 'we got married'. There was no way this was real.

He watched your eyes grow wide with surprise as you covered your mouth in shock.

This is too pretty! It can't be real!

"Omg.." was all you managed.

You took a couple of steps nearer only to see that the city lights were just a wall below where you were.

Jungkook stood up and followed you.

"It's amazing isn't it? And I thought you were supposed to show me the city." He laughed.

"How did you ... find this place, Jungkook? I mean, you were so busy!"

He scratched his head shyly, "well, you know we have lots of fans here right... their comments are sometimes helpful..."

"What do you mean?" you asked.

"Sometimes fans post pictures of themselves and put us with them at nice romantic places... or tell us the best places to go in their country... and this one was deep deep deeeply hidden among the millions of comments that I happened to see when I was on the plane." He explained, "so I acted on it this morning and it was a good thing it wasn't occupied for the night."

You looked around, "but the set-up? it surely isn't part of the whole deal?"

"Of course not, but it's what I'd always dreamed of doing - having a tent by the campfire in winter, just under the stars. Do you now know what Jeon Jungkook is capable of? This is just the tip of the iceberg." He bragged cooly only to earn a nudge from you.

"It's cold, come check out the tent I picked. It's really awesome!"

You were still in a state of awe while you followed him in a daze. He unzipped the entrance and kicked off his sneakers, stepping into a warm enclave.

It was unbelievably cosy unlike the outdoors, thanks to lots of elaborate heating inside the wide tent.

Immediately he plonked himself in the center and reached for your hand, with a very precise motion, pulling you along with him and onto him.

"OMO!!" You squealed, startled.

With his other arm, he swiftly zipped the tent, keeping the chilly breeze out.

For some reason, you never saw this coming but it seemed that he had it all planned out, and he was clearly in the mood for something else other than the night lights.

The glint in his eyes met yours as he boldly took the lead this time.

"I'm not rushing things too much, am I?" He kissed your lips softly, sending you into a state of instant ecstasy.

He hesitated while waiting for a response.

Before you could reply, he had you against the warmly padded base of the tent, cradling your neck in the crook of his arms as he rested his elbow beside your head.

"I've never been so sure of anything until today, that you're the one I've been searching for. It's only you - for me. No one else."

You couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth.

The amount of sincerity that he spoke with, washed away any trace of self-doubt you harbored.

With no haste, you pulled him in for a deeply passionate kiss that lasted as long as your breath could hold.

Things were heating up fast, and he took the chance again to take the lead, his hands roaming around slowly until you heard him let out a soft groan.

"Jungkook-ah" you managed to call his name in between breaths, "what's wrong?"

He looked at his pants that was obviously giving him a tough time. "No, it's just.... getting uncomfortable in these..."

You laughed wondering if he was really that innocent, "so you want to take them off, is that it?"

"Nope." was all he said, before he turned his eyes back to you. They looked a little sly this time.

"I'd much prefer if YOU  took them off."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read: Day 1 / Day 2 / Day 3 / Day 4 / Day 5 / Day 6 / Day 7 / Day 8

[notcaring99]

Watch It (Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader)

Warning: Swearing, Abuse and sensitive content really 

Ft: Tony, Steve, Sam, and FRIDAY

Request: Can I request one where Tony has a 19/20 yr old daughter and Bucky is crushing on her but she's got a bf. later she shows up at the tower late one night with bruises from him and Bucky goes and kicks his ass. He tells her how he feels and they start to date cause she's been crushing on him too?

A/N: So, I don’t know how well I did on this. I haven’t had this happen to me or anyone close to me. All I know about this is from shows and movies. I’m sorry if this offends anyone. I hope you enjoy it. 

You are in the elevator of the Avenger’s tower with two boxes of files in your arms for your father. Once the doors open, you step out of the elevator trying to walk cautiously since you can’t see. “Wow.” You stumble slightly as you almost trip on the rug in the hallway, but someone steadies you from behind. You turn around when your feet are planted firmly on the ground. You see your favorite person with both his real and metal hand resting on your hips and a bright smile taking over his face as he sees you. 

“Oh hey there Bucky.” You greet smiling brightly at him. Both you and Bucky’s smiles always brighten when either of you are near each other. The both of you have developed feelings for each other over the time that you spent together. Only problem with this little love story is that you have a boyfriend. Though he may not be the best boyfriend in the world, you love him dearly. 

“These for Tony?” Bucky asks taking the boxes from you and you sigh in relief from the heavy boxes leaving your arms. 

“Yeah. Dad needed his old files in the basement. I can take them to him though.” You reason, but Bucky has already turned around and is walking in front of you carrying the boxes further into the tower. 

“I know.” He states before making his way up the stairs. You follow behind him trying to catch up with his long strides. “You seemed like you needed help, so I’m helping.” he reasons and you smirk.

“I didn’t know you were such a nice person.” You tease as the both of you make it to the top of the stairs. He scoffs as you are now walking beside him as you both make your way to the lab. 

“I’m only nice to you, doll.” He flirts with a wink. You giggle before reaching over and grabbing a box from him. 

“Well in this century Women don’t always like to be treated like damsels in distress.” You state walking in front of him as you both come close to the lab. 

“Who said I was calling you a damsel in distress?” he asks you before reaching out with his free hand and taking the box again. 

“Well you sure are treating me like one, Barnes.” You retort as he walks into the lab and you follow behind him. He is laughing while entering the lab. In the lab you see Steve and Sam there with your dad as they are looking over the wings and shield.  

“Use of the last name, isn’t hat a little harsh?” Bucky asks you teasingly. 

“You want me to call you something worse like you teasing little shit assho-” You were cut off by your dad.

“Language you two, Captain here doesn’t appreciate that kind of language.” Tony, your dad, states before smirking at Steve. You laugh it off before walking over to your dad. “Maybe you should get these files into a safer spot then the basement, old man? Someone can easily get their hands on these files.” You suggest giving him a hug. 

“Why do you think I asked you to get them?” Your dad sasses and you release him from the hug and give him a glare. 

“Lazy ass.” You mutter and your dad laughs patting your head. That’s when FRIDAY speaks up. 

“A Lucas Kingsly is here to see you Miss Y/N.” You smile as you hear the AI say your boyfriends name. 

“Thank you FRIDAY. Tell him I’ll be down in a second.” You command and she complies. 

“Your going out? It’s already 8.” Your dad reasons, but you scoff looking at him like he had two heads. 

“How old do you think I am? Besides what were you doing when you were my age, dad?” You ask him with your arms crossed over your chest with a smirk.

“She does have a point.” Sam inquires and you smile at the man. You notice now that Bucky isn’t in the room anymore and neither is Steve. 

“Stay out of this Wilson. Fine, but be safe, okay?” your dad asks you before bringing you into a hug. 

“Of course. I love you.” You say before releasing from the hug and making your way to the lobby. 

~

Bucky left the lab as soon as he heard his name. He was walking down the hallway and towards the stairs to get away. “Bucky!” Steve calls out to him, but Bucky doesn’t slow down. Steve catches up to him as Bucky stops by the huge balcony that over looks the city. “Bucky, you okay?” Steve asks him. Bucky scoffs crossing his arms looking down at the streets and there he sees him by his fancy car waiting for Y/N. 

“Why does she-What does she see in him?” Bucky seethes, not really expecting an answer from Steve. He sees Y/N coming out of the building and greet Lucas with a kiss. 

“What?” Steve asks confused. Bucky watches as you get into the car without any assistance from Lucas. As Bucky watches he just knows he can treat you better than him. He’s been there for you whenever you had troubles with Lucas, yet you seem to keep running after Lucas. 

“I just want to know what he has over me.” Bucky mutters out as he sees the car peel away from the sidewalk. Steve sighs patting Bucky’s shoulder sadly. Bucky groans before turning around and walking off to his bedroom. 

~

It’s been a few days since that day. Since then you haven’t been coming home until late the next morning. You have been staying at Lucas’ place and you were happy, but that changed quickly after an occurrence. 

You weakly stumble out of the elevator to be welcomed by the dark, quiet Avenger’s building. It is around 4 in the morning. You are happy that you were able to slip away without Lucas stopping you, again. You make your way further into the building as quiet as you can. You are in the kitchen looking for some frozen vegetables when the light in the kitchen turns on. You jump from the sudden light and cower slightly. 

“Y/N?” You look up and over at the doorway to see Bucky standing there in a pair of sweatpants hanging lowly on his hips and a muscle tank on. “What happened to you?” Bucky asks concern taking over his voice as he takes a step towards you. You cower away from him as he comes closer. 

“I was getting a pan from the cupboard  when I pulled to hard and my elbow came back and hit me in the eye.” You lie knowing he can only see the bruise covering your right eye. Bucky reaches up to inspect your eye, but you flinch away from his touch. 

“Why are you lying to me?” He asks sadly before reaching over to grab a towel. You feel tears welling up in your eyes. He gently reaches for the frozen peas in your hand and wraps it in the paper towel. He goes to put it on your eye, but you cower away slightly. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He reassures you while holding your hand that was shaking on your side. You nod your head and he reaches up and places it on your eye. 

“Thanks.” You shakily thank him as tears fall from your eyes. Bucky grabs your exposed arm gently and sees a bruise that was hidden behind your short sleeved top. You pull away slightly cowering away. “It’s nothing.” You try to reassure with him. 

“It doesn’t look like nothing. Y/N, let me look at your shoulder, please?” Bucky asks with slight anger in his eyes along with sadness. 

“No. I’m fine, okay?” You snap at him angrily. He scoffs turning towards the counter before slamming his fist against it causing you to jump high into the air.

“Your not fine, Y/N! You are crying, bruised and jumpy. You are not fine, and I really want to help you. Why won’t you let me help you?” Bucky yells and you know soon enough the others will be down here. You cower away and begin to cry. “Did he do this to you?” Bucky asks you. You know who he’s talking about and you nod your head slowly. The silence in the room envelopes the both of you. Steve enters the kitchen wearing running attire as well.

“What’s going on in her-” Steve was cut off as Bucky storms out of the kitchen.  You follow him out of the kitchen.

“Bucky! Don’t!” You yell out as your voice cracks, but he doesn’t stop. Before you could reach him he’s in the elevator and the doors are closing. “Steve please go after him.” You ask Steve as tears are falling from your eyes freely now. Steve nods his head and races out of the room and to the staircase.

~

Now you are in your room on your bed with your knees curled up to your chest as you are holding your favorite stuffed animal, which your dad gave you, in your arms. You hear a faint knock on your door, but you don’t say a thing. The person walks into your room and sits on your bed. Your back is facing them as you hug your knees closer to you. 

“You alright?” Bucky’s voice echoes the room as he places a hand on your back soothingly. You uncurl yourself and sit up slowly. The stuffed animal still in your arms. 

“What did you do?” you ask Bucky curiously while you play with the animals ears. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. You are about to curl back into your ball, but Bucky speaks up.

“We both know what I did.” He comments before pausing. “If Steve wasn’t there I probably would’ve killed him.” Bucky states with anger still surging through him. 

“Bucky.” You look up at him and grab his hands letting the stuff animal fall in your lap. “Thank you for defending me.” You say with a small smile as Bucky looks into your eyes. He smiles at you in return. 

“I’ll always defend you, you know that right?” Bucky asks you with a sincere look on his face. You nod you head as the tears begin to fall from your eyes. “Come here.” Bucky puts his hands on your waist and picks you up. He places you in his lap and you automatically curl into his embrace and let the rest of your tears out. You both stay like this for a bit, but you weren’t crying anymore. 

“I know this is terrible timing, but I would love to take you out on a date.” You look up at him with a shocked look on your face. “I don’t need an answer right now, but whenever you are up for it  let me know.” He pushes a strand of hair out of your face and behind your ear. 

“I would love to go on a date with you.” You state surprising him. 

“What?” He asks you and you climb off of his lap and onto the bed. 

“I would love to.” He smiles and hugs you tightly. 

Taglist:

(A/N :if you want to be added to my main tag list messenge me or ask in my ask box and I’ll tag you in the ones coming up.)

[wavemaker9]

re the latest reveal about cloned bodies for teh xover

There was a post that kind of addressed the idea of each of the boys dying various times + that static portion of each of their lives, i’m linking here. Basically how even though it’s only focussing on magnus atm, it’s likely all the boys were/are liches due to their all dying in different ways and they’ve each had new bodies created for them over time like barry as tehy all die either on their own or together when the world ends. Relistening, i heard barry says that he just found the item a few years ago and says he's been using it to bring himself back instead of framing it like he’s used it for all of them. though it could also be a different method used in the past and/or griffin trying to keep that the others have used it/items similar to it low key atm, justified maybe in barry knowing he’d have to explain more shit if he used ‘we’. Idk it might be handled later in a different way but it all works better for what i want it to with this implication so that’s the theory i’m following until contradicted. i mean with the shit covered below it could be that way because it wasn’t used in this world on any of them anyway. just. also kyle.

basically like i kind of really like this because it should make things easier for the xover. i’d mentioned previously, it was trouble for kyle because he’s younger than the youngest of the group by ~10 (now ~20) years at the time of the current story’s events. The static was set in a part of their lives where kyle’d be in his super early teens or so I think? Maybe preteens. Hold on lemme see if i wrote it down in my prev notes. Wow, okay 12 years. He was 20 at the time of the seeing that, just turned after crystal kingdom arc, so he’d be about 8 with that logic? Around there at least. No way is he doing whatever. But basically, because of the way the static and them likely being all liches who keep getting into new bodies would be handled, kyle wouldn't /have/ to have started out on his own the same 12 years ago the others did. If barry died early on accident and then has to restart now back at the previous age, why couldn’t that happen to the others too. Like actually with that logic, it wouldn’t be 12 years back that the static occurs for kyle when the cup is reviewing his memories. Maybe only a couple/few years back at max. Because we know the sizzle it up shit happened in this world since people acknowledge it and merle’s kids were in that range too, hold on. Okay mavis was 12 years old but she wasn’t his blood kid, only mookie was who is portrayed as younger, so that still checks more or less. And i don’t remember an exact year for the revolution and then fall of raven’s roost but i’m 90% sure it was in the 12 year range too, especially if magnus is only 32 by the suffering game, no way he was younger than 19-20 doing that revolution shit. So that all tracks, everything that affects this world explicitly happened in that 12 year range and anything before that is less concrete on where it was and who was involved with it.

Because assuming anything prior to the static is automatically on another world/plane, that’s a lotta shit that’s going to need to be reworked in kyle’s bg for this to make it work. I think for kyle it’ll be right after he ran away, so I might work ria later to be after that and per his memories it was almost right after he ran away but there was the time of the static between them, mainly because i did have her as the reason he can get the magical items as he needs to as gifts in this world plus i’d like him to meet her again and be able to keep her memory in his head again. Old ones still gone, but he can keep the new ones. Have to remove her having heard about the news of what happened to his sibling and being aware of that when he shows up, but i might like that more. Young teen kyle suspicious of this woman who seems to not be suspicious of him despite how close her town is to his and how the whole town knew what he did. I can also still have him viewing this town selbra as his hometown even if it wasn’t actually his home town. Also have to adjust because i did say on his second visit back home was when he lost track of his parents and both visits were going to be some time after leaving, but could remove first one or maybe make it very recent, sees he’s not really missed or anything, gets all upset and angry and reckless which leads him to eventually trying to work his way into this group even while still relatively young (if the BOB lets in 11 yr olds, the IPRE could let in a very determined teenager is all i’m saying, he’d only be 15-16 range probably when starting? i have to work out what would be best as we get more info). Then when he goes back home later, he goes to where he expects to see his house and family and they’re not there because they never were there, that was some other place entirely. I was gonna have dark be pre-static but he was after ria and within a couple years recent. Also i’ll get into this later but i’ll probably make him even more recent. Man i feel like i should be mad having to rework so much stuff but i’m honestly real excited, this is interesting to do to make it work with this new idea i have and since the new idea makes other shit work i’m super happy about this, it’s chill.

So everyone got bodies on this plane at the same time 12 years ago to start the plan, and kyle started at a 17-18 year range (Another age thing I still have to figure out what the best age for that would be), with the plan being that he’d be 29-30 by the time shit kicked in, only a little younger than magnus would be excluding the sacrifice. But it’s kyle. Barry’s not the only one who’s stubborn. Kyle is stubborn and reckless and self sacrificial and if he loses all memories post a couple years after running away, he’s going to def go back to that and just. Just be that reckless ‘who cares if i live or die’ sort of person. That’s where he was at when he met the boys and part of that was on dark, but it wasn’t a far leap for his brain to get there and he’d likely been tehre or similar before meeting dark too. It’d get less so as he gets older but he doesn’t really chill out as a person until mid-30s and later, so basically kyle living his standardly reckless life and absolutely ending up dying before able to meet the other boys at the bar or whatever. A year or so before probably, since it’s about another year or so between here there be gerblins and crystal kingdom and i want at least about 2-3 years for darkness shit and some time before/after that. He dies and needs to get a new body cloned so starts back out at young late-teens age which isn’t ideal but there isn’t much that can be done.

On top of that, can use his friendship with dark for plot shit. Him dying in time where he could be cloned again in time to meet the bar works out, it’s probably cutting it close, but he’s set up to do it and then fucking just like everything else in every other au, doug fucking ruins it. I’m basically moving up the time frame a bit so that it’s much less time between when he loses dark and finds the boys, maybe only a month or so instead of a full year. all it’d do is make him more desperate for replacement friends. Bit more vulnerable to better explain him putting up with a lot of weird shit and these three morally-gray assholes because it gives him something to do and be heroic at while having friends and a place to stay that will temporarily be his. Still more or less a year though when he meets dark, and basically the plan was still him making it to the bar like the others, but he ran into dark a little before that instead. Maybe tries to steal from him so he sees kyle’s useful for that or genuinely just runs into him bumping style and that gets them talking until kyle shows off what skills he has another way. Maybe both, bumping into people /is/ a standard pickpocket trick. Whatever reason he’d have originally, i don’t think that would change, i just don’t think i gave a reason they stuck together yet. I. love the idea of Kyle stealing from him, take that doug you ass. You’ve stolen all of kyle’s self confidence in every au you’re in but this one time around kyle stole your wallet first! Anyway, some sort of plot convenience happens and dark talks kyle into joining him, probably guilting/blackmailing him into it or just basic manipulation, dark’s got a lot of ways to manipulate him. If the bar storyline for their history is still canon,they don’t explain how they all knew went at the right time besides barry planning some shit, but i imagine whatever it is, kyle wouldn’t trust it. If he doesn’t remember the reason he needs to do this thing himself, how can he be sure it’s legit. Sticks with dark for a while as with before before splitting and ending up in the bar that leads him to the job that leads him to meeting the boys. Thus the 12 years not needing to be adjusted i don’t think, but kyle not being one of the red robe group people while he was 8 years old.

Also kyle wouldn’t be too much younger than magnus would have to have started at, but i like him very insistent that even if they can clone him older at any point, if they can not, they don’t. Kyle low-key hates the thought of being old, he’d accept it once he was there past his 50s and later, but as a youngun, and an energetic and good looking one at that, the idea is a hard eugh. he wants to stay young. It’s part of the reason he’s so comfortable with expecting to die at a young age. Not only the bad self esteem and (in this au) missing his dead family, but like. Everything anyone hears about aging is how much it sucks. you don’t look as good, you can’t do as much, you’re much more fragile. Why would he want that? What’s the pro of that??? If he dies before he’s 30 or 40 he never has to deal with that and that’s not a bad trade off, yeah? (disclaimer: prolly nah) so like in this au if he can control how his body is cloned, like needing to update whatever dna or whatever it’s being cloned from if you want to end up being older, him not. Doing that, again, even when given teh chance to. Depending on how much you remember, there’s likely no pro like keeping levels you’ve gained. You’re just older at your start next time, closer to going gray and all the oher shit. He accidentally made it to 34 once before he died and was very upset about that. all i’m saying is that this has become twilight now because when someone asks kyle how long he’s been 19/20 (not continuously though) he can accurately say “a while” which is literally all i’ve ever wanted. I already mentioned how kyle is perpetually 19 in my head, like i literally can’t picture him as older because he resists the idea of growing old and maturing so much, so this is perfect.

Again, i’m really kinda happy with this. Still not perfect but def better. I was learning to just accept he would be outside the group and him being able to resist the relics wouldn’t be able to be explained like it likely would with the others, but this works so much more smoothly into the story, i am very glad for this idea. Thank god griffin just really wanted to bring barry back for the fans.

The only /real/ downside is it cuts out the kyle & taako exchange “I could have gone to one of your shows when I was really young but like. Stealing, mate.” “No, no, I get you, my dude.” because i really loved that. Taako wasn’t doing the shows more recently than 5-6 years ago if memories serves so that may have happened but kyle wouldn’t remember it. Alternatively, now that i think about it, i do love the idea of taako’s being famous brought up a number of times and kyle really just. Does not remember ever seeing it. Might have heard it in passing but never saw any actual shows advertised or anything like that. Kinda thoguht it was like a fucking. Fantasy world version of the candle cove or whatever situation where everyone just imagined these shows happened until actually meeting taako. Still isn’t 100% sure. I do kind of like that, just because i think that’d get >( fast for taako considering how much he values his fame. What fucking rock did kyle live under where he never even heard of taako’s show until recent years? His home town is a ways away but not that fucking far, cmon my dude. Taako knows human ages are weird but like. Kyle’s not that young right? How old are you again? 20? No, you have to have heard of it, what the fuck?

(ALSO. Barry seems to be the one in charge of how shit rolls since he has the coin thing. I mean, none of the other boys got coins telling them what to do, right? A stray thought was what if he was the only one who knew enough to handle the cloning shit so lich kyle interfering in some way or another to lead barry to dying early to get his help. I have no idea how and there’s no real reason for only barry knowing how at this point, but i like kyle being that asshole.)

[datingadviceonreddit]

What's up guys, I'm the dude from the title. Yep that's me, the mormom dude who grow up in a really strict environment.To start, I respect the church and even though I'm inactive I learned a lot of valuable things from the church and I'm grateful for the values and morals I was tought. However, I'm curious and I want to explore the world around me more without the vast restrictions.I'm 23/yr old and about 5'10 or so. Not 6ft so that kinda sucks and honestly feels like a weight on my shoulders when it comes to dating. Thankfully I'm at least decent looking from what I'm told. My confidence on the other hand is pretty low. What confidence i do have is pretty falsified just to show some semi bravado so I get respect from my peers and don't seem like some little twerp.My hobbies are all but non existent. I know I love motorcycles and extreme style hobbies that give me an adrenaline rush or is a near death. Not entirely sure why but they make me feel something and it's extremely enjoyable for me. Normally I'm overly responsible and like a 23 year old boomer but when I get a motorcycle all rules go out the window. I just feel free of the constraints and I do stupid shit. That's the way I got my first criminal speeding ticket. 😅 Yikes, I know. But I did plenty i never got cougbt for an i had an awesome judge who apriciated honestly."Not necessarily relevant-Skip if needed" Backstory is kinda fckd up but who's isn't? I was born to a low life dad who beat his family on the regular. My mom left him around when I was 5 or so. During visitation he'd pretty much beat the shit out of me and mentally fuck with me the whole week/weekend. That went on till I was around 8 or so then around the time I turned 9 we went camping on visitation one summer. I came back pretty messed up. I'd flinch when someone raised their hand or moved too fast. I'd hide or get in the fetal position and cry when people yelled or raised their voice. Idk the rest but I can't remember my childhood for the mostpart so I'm not sure of all the details. What I know is what I was told by my mom. She remarried not long aftet and we moved away. Step dad was pretty mentally abusive and neglectful but he was a good guy. He clothed me and gave me food and a roof over my head. Can't complain about that one bit. "Not necessarily relevant-Skip if needed"Grew up my my life sitting in solitude playing video games because it was the only place I felt safe and actually found enjoyment in. This continued into adulthood for the mostpart and around 21 i wanted to hang out with friends and be more active in own life. It was pretty late at this point and making friends was kinda tough. I had no social skills aside from shit talking in video games. Fast forward to current and I'm much better at social situations and chatting it up with people. I can get along with almost anyone but I've recently come to realize "a friend to all is a friend to none" that day sucked....THE IMPORTANT PART FOR ANYONE IN THIS SUB* Now, onto the actual issues I have that pertain to this sub in particular. I may have social skills on a normal basis now and be chill with people. I seem to catch plenty of glimpses from girls and I catch them staring at times. Others can be flirty and fun to talk to but I have no game whatsoever. I usually just avoid it because I doubt i could keep em interested for more then a day. I've had plenty of tinder ventures that go great and turns into "let's smash" but as a mormon......I'm sure you can figure out the rest so that never really happens.😅I've had 1 relationships that lasted 2 years but it was ldr and she seemed really happy with me but I couldn't keep it up and got exhausted. We drifted and it turns out she was smashing a friend from high school which she politely let me know after I tried to break it off. (FYI-She was 20 dude was just a high school friend)I'm not sure what I'm really asking here but what I do know is I lack confidence, I know I don't look bad or have an issue with attracting anyone but my confidence and my experience are so lacking for what the majority of my encounters turn into. I want to find someone who is patient and not trying to rush anything because I tend to burn bridges fast if I don't like the direction things go. I almost want to say I'm just a wus when it comes to dating but I'm not like that with anything else in life. I clearly have the assets to be attractive enough for girls to want to engage with me but I'm practically scared of women and I have no idea why. A couple days ago I was coming back from the gym and I looked to my left at two girls staring at me at a red light. I got bright red and just looked strait. They honked at me and waves but I literally blasted out of that green light so fast it's not even funny. Idk why I do this HELP MEEEEE!!!TL;DR: Inexperienced guy has confidence issues and runs from girls interested. Can't find the resolve or confidence to handle my shit around women showing interest. via /r/dating_advice