#affairs of state
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djkerr · 4 months ago
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TGW 03x06 Affairs of State
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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happypeachsludgeflower · 7 days ago
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Why does mxtx keep writing omega coded men and then announcing that they’re the top?? Not that I mind them being top?? But?? Binghe and Hua Cheng are so obviously bottom enthusiast, and Lan Wangji carnally desires being railed by Yilling Laozu, but these poor men are cursed to lives of top-hood.
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djkerr · 4 months ago
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TGW 03x06 Affairs of State
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honey--wraith · 5 months ago
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Francesca - Hozier // M*A*S*H
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muckyschmuck · 22 days ago
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yugioh snow and dog and helena
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shitpostingkats · 8 days ago
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Not to be xehaqus posting on main but the amount of (misplaced) trust Eraqus puts in Xehanort makes me insane. What do you mean he watched his boyfriend murder someone before his eyes and cried alone in his room at night but still thought it alright to let that boy walk away from him and study ancient dark magics? To confront him about it, years later, only to have his face sliced open and still, still, even later welcome him back into his home like nothing's changed? To take a wounded, obviously traumatized kid off his hands and not even consider it might be a red flag? Even when your students approach you and go "hey your old beloved old man partner might be up to something?" the blinding confidence to go "No, that doesn't sound like him :/ " To, even after you are both dead, at vaguely eachother's hand, to reach out beyond death and still believe there's good in him?
Like, one can joke a lot about how Eraqus' bad taste in men is what doomed the narrative to its current path, but also, this is a character who watched someone he loved make bad choice after bad choice after bad choice and always thought he was going to suddenly start making good ones instead. And he did this for sixty years. What if I threw up.
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rebeccathenaturalist · 9 months ago
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This is a big deal. No, $48,692.05 is in no way, shape or form a fair price for the many thousands of acres of traditional Chinook land that were never ceded but were taken by settlers anyway. However, the fact that this funding from the 1970 Indian Claims Commission settlement is being released to the tribe is the strongest move toward regaining recognition in years.
As a bit of background, the Chinook Indian Nation are some of the descendants of many indigenous communities who have lived in the Columbia-Pacific region and along the Columbia to the modern-day Dalles since time immemorial. They saw the arrival of the Lewis & Clark party to the Pacific Ocean in 1805, but shortly thereafter were devastated by waves of diseases like malaria and smallpox. The survivors signed a treaty to give up most of their land in 1851, but it was never ratified by the United States government. While some Chinookan people are currently part of federally recognized tribes such as the Yakama Nation, the Confederated Tribes of the Warm Springs Reservation, and the Confederated Tribes of the Grand Ronde Reservation, the Chinook Indian Nation--comprised of the Lower Chinook, Clatsop, Cathlamet, Willapa, and Wahkiakum--have remained largely unrecognized.
That changed briefly in 2001. On January 3 of that year, the Department of the Interior under the Clinton administration formally recognized the Chinook Indian Nation. In July 2002, the Bush administration revoked the federal recognition after complaints from the Quinault Indian Nation, as the Chinook would have had access to certain areas of what is now the Quinault reservation. This meant that the Chinook, once again, were denied funding and other resources given to federally recognized tribes, to include crucial healthcare funding during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The Chinook Indian Nation has been fighting legal battles to regain federal recognition ever since the revocation. The funding released to them in this month's court decision doesn't make them federally recognized, but it is a show of legitimacy in a tangled, opaque system that indigenous people across the United States have had to contend with for many decades. Here's hoping this is a crack in the wall keeping the Chinook from recognition, and that they get more good news soon.
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huggywuggysuppy · 28 days ago
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Obsessed with PICS (pearl/impulse/cleo/scott) and how absolutely dysfunctional they are. BEGGING to fall apart in the messiest breakup and make it everyone else’s problem.
Dissection on why:
Pearl is obviously suffering under scott/cleo’s usual pressure, especially their disregard for her side of the story. When she’s like “yeah double life was awful for me, it was a win at what cost” they just brush it off as character development. Impulse doesn’t back her up at all either. Soup Group for life, but not in Life Series. Logically, she knows she works well and lives long with these people, but it always costs her emotionally. She’s just not comfortable around any of them. In the breakup, Pearl would probably go to BigB, Gem, or Tango, as they’ve all treated her with constant kindness in the past. It’s only a matter of time before she leaves.
Impulse is in a weird place. Him and Scott were buds in Secret, but it was more of a coworker relationship held together by Gem. Impulse tried to cut him loose during tag, but Gem shot it down (“are you breaking up with me?!”) They were also spontaneously allied for a bit in Limited, and betrayed by Martyn together, but again that’s more coworkery than real bonded. Impulse has betrayed Cleo, who holds a grudge forever, and will have to spend the whole series trying to make up for that. He’s got a fondness for Pearl, but nothing concrete. He canonically doesn’t remember the other series while the other three (winners) do, so there’s that angle too. Impulse isn’t in danger, there’s just no real loyalty. If I had money on it: if he’s not taken in the divorce he ends up with Skizz again.
Cleo doesn’t want to be with Impulse and Pearl. Scott and Cleo are chosen soulmates and would probably stick together post divorce, but they are definitely beefing with the other two. Cleo has a clear and loud grudge against Impulse and wouldn’t mind cutting him off immediately. As for Pearl, Cleo is uncomfortable naming Pearl’s new wolf, as they understand just how much weight that carries. Cleo knows that PICS is almost certainly gonna fall apart, and is already dreading what they’ll have to do. They might even have to kill it themselves, as they’ve tried with many of Pearl’s other dogs. Others have pointed out and I repeat here: Pearl only kills Cleo when they’re not allied, Cleo kills Pearl when they are. If and when the breakup happens, Cleo will be the first to walk away, maybe dragging Scott with them.
Scott knows all of this. He’s perceptive and likes making power moves and will set up contingencies and alliances in preparation for the breakup, which will only speed up the process. More unconsciously, he hasn’t forgiven Pearl for double life either (ex: powdered snow comment). As I’ve mentioned, he and Impulse have some unresolved distrust from their professional coworker relationship in secret. Scott’s mostly chill with Cleo, but if they don’t officially stick together then all bets are off (ex: limited, secret). I expect him to struggle a bit post breakup, as he usually leans on strong day one alliances he can put his back to.
This is the interpretation from lore!! The actual creators are clearly having a blast with things. And honestly, that just makes it better. They are storytellers and I have faith they’ll pick the best one. Personally, I’m rooting for the breakup.
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redshoes-blues · 3 months ago
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Media companies will continue to cannibalize themselves with useless spin-offs of spin-offs and nostalgia bait while they let unique, creative ideas die because they don’t fulfill their profit fantasies.
Do you know how many of my favourite shows I’ve discovered in their second or third seasons through word of mouth? Most of them. It takes time to build fan bases. They don’t just appear overnight. Even in massive success stories like Stranger Things, the first season wasn’t an overnight success. Word of mouth brought in massive viewership, and that sort of organic growth just won’t happen in the limited amount of time these companies are giving shows.
There are so many more shows that I hear about that I’d probably like and give a watch—My Lady Jane, which was cancelled the day after I started watching it, comes to mind—but it feels completely useless to get invested in things anymore when these corporations are cancelling shows left and right because they aren’t the next fucking Mandalorian or Game of Thrones or Bridgerton.
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asmileworthahundredlies · 2 months ago
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Yeah I, I got those palpitations. Those boom, boom, booms… ♫
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itsbackwoodsbby · 11 months ago
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Locker Room Sex
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Stephen Curry x Black Fem Reader
A/N: I wrote this for my pleasure. I AM TWENTY, so there is an age difference. I am sorry if you don't like the age gap, but I still am obsessed with this FINE ASS man so don't judge me, judge ya mammy.
Warning: Age Gap! Dirty Talk! Cheating! Swearing! Unprotected Sex!
Summary: You were messaging Steph Curry for a while and then eventually he ghosts you. You were desperately in need to talk to him. For reasons. For answers, on what exactly is going on. You sneak in the Golden State locker room and you definitely get more than answers.
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You greeted and told the guys goodbye and goodnight as they left the locker room. He was the only one left in the locker room taking a shower. He turned the shower off and came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. You look at his body. He was very toned for a 35 year old. You bite your lips and start imagining him with the towel dropped.
“Uh… can I help you?” He asks you kind of sternly. You look at him nervously. “Uh yeah. May I get an interview?” He looks at you, “You’re not an actual interviewer.” Reading right through your bullshit. “I’ve heard of ABC, ESPN, and Ballislife. Never have I heard of Big Balls Entertainment.” He reads your fake ass badge your best friend made you.
You swallow hard and you try to come up with a new lie, but you can't. Honestly, you only here to talk to Stephen Curry and possibly even fuck him. But you obviously know the plan is blown, so you walk out. He grabs your arm.
“You know fans can’t be back here either. You can go to jail.” He tells you. You sigh. “I just wanted to see you. You stopped replying to my messages.” He looks at you, “Wait, you’re the girl that I was snapping.” You bite your lips and shake your head before you look down. “And when you stopped texting me, I had to find a way to see you and talk to you.” He starts examining your body as you are talking. “Aye my eyes are up here.” You say sternly. He chuckles, “My bad.” He clears his throat. “Look. I have a wife. I have three kids. I can’t be doing this with you.” You look at him and nod you head. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.” You say as you get up to leave the locker room.
You don’t know why you thought your plan was going to work. You two are 15 years apart. He has a family. You just want him back though. You guys were only talking and sending nudes through Snapchat. It shouldn’t have got this deep as in you sneaking into the Golden State locker room.
A voice comes back to the locker room. It’s Klay. Steph and you run to the shower room and you hide in there as Steph puts on some clean boxers and goes back into the locker room. You listen to their conversation until Klay says he has to go home to see his doggie son, Rocco. He leaves and it’s just you and Steph. You were about to leave and he grabs your arm again.
“Nah. Wait a minute. You can’t leave yet.” He says. You look at him confused, “Maybe we can hook up one time.” He says before caressing your body. “You just said you don’t want to be caught up with me.” You say biting your lip as he squeezes your boobs.
Steph wanted you now. It’s only because he remembered his wife was going for two weeks for a cooking show. The kids were with his parents. So you could be his little cum eater while his wife was away. It wasn’t like Ayesha would care. He can just dispose of you when he got done.
You strip down and go inside the shower room taking your clothes with you. You wanted shower sex and he wanted the same. He smiles at your naked body before you disappear and follows you. He takes his boxers off and pushes you down on your knees.
“You said if you were to see me, you’d suck it.” He smirks. “Do it.”
You start with his tip and slowly lower down an inch. His dick is really big and thick. It’s kind of hard to swallow. You’re a big girl though, so you push through. Eventually you’re damn near eating his dick up.
“My balls need love too.” He says and pushes your head down. You bite your lip before you start sucking on his balls. He smiles and groans even more. You smile knowing you're doing a good job. “Fuck, I’m going to cum.” You go back to sucking and stroking his dick with one hand and massaging his balls with the other and he rolls his eyes in the back of his head. “Fuck, you’re a good at giving head.” He says. “Young ass eater.” He chuckles.
He starts fucking your throat. You start gagging at how rough he is getting with you, but it only motivates him to be rougher with your throat. He hits the back of your throat once and he starts nutting in your throat. You swallow it all. Eventually, he pulls out to see if you did. You smile and stick out your tongue. He smiles.
“Good girl.” He says. You stand up and he admires your wet body. He sucks on your neck and lowers to your nipples. He starts rubbing your clit and he smiles. “You want me to return the favor now or later.” You bite your lips, “Later. I need that dick.” You say.
He picks you up and slides you down his dick. You gasp and hang your mouth open, moaning a sweet note in his ear. He starts thrusting in and out of you. He proceeds to go faster and choke you a bit.
“You take this dick so good, baby girl.” He says groaning in your ear. “And your pussy is so fucking wet.” You whimper. “Ooh shit. You’re so deep. You’re so deep.” He smirks and goes harder. Your legs begin to shake. You’re on the verge of climax already. “Steph. Chill. I’m going to cum.” He chuckles, “Nah. Take it.” He says and goes harder. You try to grip the wall. “Mm, fuck daddy.”
He turns the shower off and heads back to the bench. The steam from the water was making it kind of hard to see. He lays you down with his dick still inside you. He pulls out and starts eating your creamy pussy. You start moaning and gripping the edges. His head game was vicious, it almost made you cum. Then he rams his dick back in roughly. You scream out. He chokes you.
“Chill the fuck out. You can’t be too loud, ma,” He says. You bite your lips. He begins to pound your shit in. “Ooh. Ooh Steph! I told you to chill. I’m going to cum.” He smacks your boobs and goes deeper. “Nah. Say my name.” He groans. “Oh daddy.” You say low. “Loud ma.” He says. “Fuck! Daddy! I’m coming.” You say louder. He chuckles and starts back pounding you. You let out a long moan before creaming his dick up. He looks down, “Yeah. That’s right. Paint this dick.” You cover your face as he starts going deeper. You try to push him away but he just pins your hands above your head.
Suddenly, he starts going faster and faster then you feel his warm liquid fill inside you. He groans in your ear as he does it. He pulls out and watches you leak out both of your juices. He looks down at you as you look at him. The two of you laugh at each other. You sigh and get up.
“Now, I got to shower.” You say and run to the shower. He joins you and you two just shower. You two get dressed and walk out to the parking garage together. He kisses you and rubs all over your body. He practically didn’t want to let go of you. You very slowly break the kiss and giggle. “Chill.” You smile. “You should come with me tonight.” He says. You think about it. You don’t mind but you would rather lay in your own bed tonight. “Nah. I’m going home. Maybe if you need me again, I can stay over.” He smiles, “Ight, lil ma.” You blush and get in your car and he gets in his. He honks his horn as a goodbye and you go to your house.
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torchickentacos · 5 months ago
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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cfffrk · 18 days ago
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TW// D**D BODY, PUTREFACTION
the ONE fanfic that shouldn't be named
(The first picture – censored version)
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The poor man did not accept the accident to the last. His once mighty mind, like a layer of eternal frozen ice, had at all times kept him firmly on the surface of sanity. It took about a week for the calm in his soul to change to a storm, and those miles and miles of permafrost to melt away and leave only a thin slippery ice flake, the last thing that kept him from sinking into the dark raging waters of madness. He clung as hard as he could, though the cold water was already washing over the top of his head. The wave hit. The ice cracked...
and darkness fell.
(all coincidences with actors from the show are coincidental)
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wanderingnork · 10 months ago
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I keep reminding myself that not everyone has read every possible githyanki/githzerai related source going back to the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Fiend Folio. Not everyone has this level of Special Interest. Not everyone is actively trying to track down good hard copies of most of these books. Nor is anyone obligated to do so.
So here you go: I'm going to explain why "githzerai good/githyanki evil" is completely reductive, not in line with the lore, and would be ridiculous to add to BG3.
The githzerai are far, far, FAR from saints, and including them in BG3 would just muddy the waters further. They aren't just running around being the good to the githyanki's evil. And never have been. They've been chaotic neutral since the Fiend Folio, and they did not become Chaotic Good in the years since. In fact, I'd make the argument that, based on their canonical behavior right up to the present, "chaotic evil" would be an appropriate alignment.
Back in second-edition D&D, in the Planescape Book of Chaos, there's an entire section on a credible rumor that the githzerai are working on a ritual that will allow them to pull githyanki out of the Astral Plane into their city so they can "punish them for their evil." (Page 76, if you're curious.) Dragon magazine #306 (an official source), there's an article entitled "Killing Cousins." It details the gith-attala, or...cousin hunters, githzerai who specialize in hunting down and killing githyanki. They go after githyanki anywhere, but in particular strongholds on the Material Plane. As of Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes (again, official source), it's explicitly stated on page 305 that the githzerai are "always on the lookout for githyanki plots to foil and creches to exterminate."
If we encountered githzerai in BG3, the most likely place to do so would be outside the creche, planning an attack that would have targeted eggs, hatchlings, and children.
The githyanki aren't coming from a place of moral good. But neither are the githzerai. Simplifying it down to good vs evil does the entire story of the species a disservice.
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thequeenofsastiel · 4 months ago
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Say what you will about the unhinged argument between Louis and Armand in 2x05, but at least no one got dropped a thousand feet over it
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