#advanced background challenge

[jcmarchi]

Unlocking the secrets of natural materials

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/unlocking-the-secrets-of-natural-materials/

Unlocking the secrets of natural materials

Growing up in Milan, Benedetto Marelli liked figuring out how things worked. He repaired broken devices simply to have the opportunity to take them apart and put them together again. Also, from a young age, he had a strong desire to make a positive impact on the world. Enrolling at the Polytechnic University of Milan, he chose to study engineering.

“Engineering seemed like the right fit to fulfill my passions at the intersection of discovering how the world works, together with understanding the rules of nature and harnessing this knowledge to create something new that could positively impact our society,” says Marelli, MIT’s Paul M. Cook Career Development Associate Professor of Civil and Environmental Engineering.

Marelli decided to focus on biomedical engineering, which at the time was the closest thing available to biological engineering. “I liked the idea of pursuing studies that provided me a background to engineer life,” in order to improve human health and agriculture, he says.

Marelli went on to earn a PhD in materials science and engineering at McGill University and then worked in Tufts University’s biomaterials Silklab as a postdoc. After his postdoc, Marelli was drawn to MIT’s Department of Civil and Environmental in large part because of the work of Markus Buehler, MIT’s McAfee Professor of Engineering, who studies how to design new materials by understanding the architecture of natural ones.

“This resonated with my training and idea of using nature’s building blocks to build a more sustainable society,” Marelli says. “It was a big leap forward for me to go from biomedical engineering to civil and environmental engineering. It meant completely changing my community, understanding what I could teach and how to mentor students in a new engineering branch. As Markus is working with silk to study how to engineer better materials, this made me see a clear connection with what I was doing and what I could be doing. I consider him one of my mentors here at MIT and was fortunate to end up collaborating with him.”

Marelli’s research is aimed at mitigating several pressing global problems, he says.

“Boosting food production to provide food security to an ever-increasing population, soil restoration, decreasing the environmental impact of fertilizers, and addressing stressors coming from climate change are societal challenges that need the development of rapidly scalable and deployable technologies,” he says.

Marelli and his fellow researchers have developed coatings derived from natural silk that extend the shelf life of food, deliver biofertilizers to seeds planted in salty, unproductive soils, and allow seeds to establish healthier plants and increase crop yield in drought-stricken lands. The technologies have performed well in field tests being conducted in Morocco in collaboration with the Mohammed VI Polytechnic University in Ben Guerir, according to Marelli, and offer much potential.

“I believe that with this technology, together with the common efforts shared by the MIT PIs participating in the Climate Grand Challenge on Revolutionizing Agriculture, we have a  real opportunity to positively impact planetary health and find new solutions that work in both rural settings and highly modernized agricultural fields,” says Marelli, who recently earned tenure.

As a researcher and entrepreneur with about 20 patents to his name and awards including a National Science Foundation CAREER award, the Presidential Early Career Award for Scientists and Engineers award, and the Ole Madsen Mentoring Award, Marelli says that in general his insights into structural proteins — and how to use that understanding to manufacture advanced materials at multiple scales — are among his proudest achievements.

More specifically, Marelli cites one of his breakthroughs involving a strawberry. Having dipped the berry in an odorless, tasteless edible silk suspension as part of a cooking contest held in his postdoctoral lab, he accidentally left it on his bench, only to find a week or so later that it had been well-preserved.

“The coating of the strawberry to increase its shelf life is difficult to beat when it comes to inspiring people that natural polymers can serve as technical materials that can positively impact our society” by lessening food waste and the need for energy-intensive refrigerated shipping, Marelli says.

When Marelli won the BioInnovation Institute and Science Prize for Innovation in 2022, he told the journal Science that he thinks students should be encouraged to choose an entrepreneurial path. He acknowledged the steepness of the learning curve of being an entrepreneur but also pointed out how the impact of research can be exponentially increased.

He expanded on this idea more recently.

“I believe an increasing number of academics and graduate students should try to get their hands ‘dirty’ with entrepreneurial efforts. We live in a time where academics are called to have a tangible impact on our society, and translating what we study in our labs is clearly a good way to employ our students and enhance the global effort to develop new technology that can make our society more sustainable and equitable,” Marelli says.

Referring to a spinoff company, Mori, that grew out of the coated strawberry discovery and that develops silk-based products to preserve a wide range of perishable foods, Marelli says he finds it very satisfying to know that Mori has a product on the market that came out of his research efforts — and that 80 people are working to translate the discovery from “lab to fork.”

“Knowing that the technology can move the needle in crises such as food waste and food-related environmental impact is the highest reward of all,” he says.

Marelli says he tells students who are seeking solutions to extremely complicated problems to come up with one solution, “however crazy it might be,” and then do an extensive literature review to see what other researchers have done and whether “there is any hint that points toward developing their solution.”

“Once we understand the feasibility, I typically work with them to simplify it as much as we can, and then to break down the problem in small parts that are addressable in series and/or in parallel,” Marelli says.

That process of discovery is ongoing. Asked which of his technologies will have the greatest impact on the world, Marelli says, “I’d like to think it’s the ones that still need to be discovered.”

[sirfrogsworth]

Remember this joke?

Well, I am going to do something similar only with photography. This is a photo someone took for an Amazon review of their Clinique products.

Honestly, it is not a terrible photo. They did some staging. They have an interesting background. All of the labels are legible. It is properly exposed. This would be a perfectly acceptable product photo for an Etsy page.

I've been taking these advanced photography courses in preparation for whenever I am able to create a new studio in the house. And my teacher is a photography badass. I just watched a 6 hour class on how to recreate a professional Clinique ad. And at first glance it looks deceptively simple. It's just some skin care products being splashed with a little water.

Which is why I wanted you to see an average person for reference.

This is what Karl Taylor came up with.

And I don't think I've learned so much about photography in one tutorial before.

Product photography is just loads and loads of problem solving. You have to light the chrome caps with a gradient. Which requires giant diffusion scrims.

Those big white panels are literally only there for the two chrome caps.

You need a pure white background, but you can't let light spill all over the studio, so you put up giant black light blockers.

And you have to add another light just for the orange bottle on the right.

Oh, and if you want the bottles to glow, well, you have to hide a silver reflector behind them.

But you still want the edges of the bottles to be darker so they have some contrast. So you add some black tape to the sides.

And in order for the reflective labels to have bold black lettering, you have to reflect black cards into them.

Ack! Karl's beautiful bald head is showing up in the chrome caps! He must put on the naughty blanket.

And once you get every aspect of every bottle perfectly lit, you finally get to yeet some water at it all.

I don't love product photography because I have a weird obsession to help greedy corporations make their wares look more beautiful. I love it because it is a complicated and challenging new puzzle every time. Every product is a different shape and requires a different technique to make it look its best.

I don't know if I will be able to live up to Karl's standards.

This is about the level I was at in 2017 before I quit photography.

I have so much more knowledge in my brain now. I'm really hoping I can surpass that.

[cultkinkcoven]

The hard truth about occultism and witchcraft is that you genuinely do have to be willing to lose your mind. That’s not me romantisizing mental struggle or psychosis.

The thing no one talks about, at least not honestly, is the threshold one passes in initiation, where the mystical, psychological, symbolic and literal merge. When I say you have to be willing to lose your mind, I mean you have to be willing to accept the possibility that you may in fact be crazy. Your worst possible fear, none of this is real and it’s all happening in your head. What will you do if you realize you’re simply crazy? The wise man will turn away, but the initiate, the alchemist, will be unphased.

All people who dabble with spirituality and occultism will eventually meet this threshold. When things actually start working, when your spells yield results, when the impossible occurs and you truly have no other explanation. When the Gods finally respond. Be willing to lose your mind, be willing to experience things you cannot explain. And be willing to talk to yourself with the honesty that you simply cannot know. That’s what makes your faith and pursuits worthy.

The most talented and most powerful witches and magis are those who do not flinch when the impossible occurs. They no longer question themselves about the absurdity, they no longer wonder if any of this is real because they know it doesn’t matter. And that’s why they’re so powerful, they have complete faith that their work is very real. And when someone challenges that, they don’t crumble, they rise. Because the challenge in that idea is worthy of pursuit itself. Maybe we are crazy, maybe this is just in our mind. The significance however, that is real and that stays, regardless.

Yap yap yap

We talk a lot in this community about the concept of “awakening” to your psychic abilities. Sensing energy, having divine intuition, telling fortunes and affecting the world through intention. But we hardly ever expose that before those gifts explode, there is always a period of what feels like insanity. The mind interrogating itself. Sensitivity to the mystical. It feels like being given access to the background code of your simulated reality, and realizing that the same code is written into your flesh, mind and soul.

Tldr. Witchcraft is very aesthetically pleasing, very pretty. We often don’t show the very ugly side of it, the white knuckles, the tears and chaos. Inviting these forces into your life is not trivial, not at all. They will force you to change and they will force you to lose your mind, even if only to teach you how to find it.

Every few months a friend of mine who is also a witch will come to me and express that she thinks she’s losing her mind again. And I smile because I know that she must be growing so much, getting so much more powerful. And a couple days ago, when I went to her and expressed that I was losing my mind again, she laughed too.

“Welcome to the next phase of your journey with Lord Lucifer!”

and her saying that immediately made everything click. I’m still being tested and cultivated. This bought of insanity is surely far from the last i will experience. Getting this far and surviving means I am not only advancing, I am continuing to grow into the role I was meant to serve for him.

Anyways, if you get to that point in your practice where you feel like you’re at your breaking point, I won’t fault you for stepping back. That’s the logical decision.

But I can also assure you, you are not alone. The mystic floats in the same waters the psychotic drowns. It may feel like you’re drowning and struggling, you may in fact just be learning how to tread water. and if you think you’re beyond this phenomenon, if this has never happened to you.

Oh, just you wait.

[kiss4tell]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐒, john price.

summary: john has spent years feeling like his desirability has faded with age, but when his daughter’s best friend starts making subtle advances, he finds himself unable to resist the temptation. cw: age gap, taboo relationship, unprotected sex, mild dirty talk, praise, porn with slight plot. g!n reader, female anatomy. wc: 2.3k note: i was inspired by the song 'colors' by halsey. those who get it, get it.

John isn’t old—not really. But some days, he feels it.

It’s in the way his knees ache when he stands too quickly. The gray creeping into his beard, a little more stubborn each year. The way people call him sir now, not out of respect, but because he looks like he belongs to another time.

He’s never minded getting older, never cared for vanity, but something about it feels heavier lately. Maybe it’s because his daughter—his little girl—isn’t so little anymore. She’s in college now, fully grown, filling the house with stories of her own life that no longer revolve around him.

He listens, nods in the right places, but he knows he’s fading into the background. A spectator to youth, no longer a part of it.

And then, there’s you.

You, her best friend. You, always at his house, curled up on his couch, laughing at things he doesn’t quite understand. You, in little shorts that ride up your thighs, oversized sweaters slipping off your shoulders, bare legs tucked beneath you as you steal glances at him over the rim of your glass.

At first, he thinks he’s imagining it. The way your gaze lingers when he walks past. The way you stretch, slow and deliberate, when you know he’s looking. The way your lips curl around the edge of your spoon when you eat ice cream straight from the carton.

Subtle things. Nothing he can call out without sounding mad.

But then there are the other things. The way you compliment him too much—that sweater looks good on you, Mr. Price… The way your touches linger, fingers brushing over his when you pass him a drink. The way your lips part just slightly when he speaks, like you’re hanging on every word.

He tells himself he’s imagining it, because the alternative is dangerous.

But tonight, he knows.

The house is quiet, his daughter out for the evening. You shouldn’t be here, not really, but you’d dropped by to return a book, your usual excuse. And now, you’re standing in his kitchen, wearing something too small, too sheer, something that tells him you knew exactly what you were doing when you came over.

“You don’t have to rush off,” he says, leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He shouldn’t say it. Shouldn’t give you a reason to stay.

But you smile, slow and knowing, like you were waiting for him to ask.

The tension between you stretches thin, tighter with each passing second. You close the distance first, stepping into his space, tilting your head up to look at him. He can smell your perfume—sweet, warm, something that makes his pulse slow and heavy.

“You always act so polite,” you murmur, eyes flickering over his face. “But I think you like when I test you.”

His jaw tenses. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

You hum, fingers lifting to graze the collar of his shirt, featherlight. “I think I do.”

He exhales sharply, hands bracing against the counter behind him. He shouldn’t touch you. Shouldn’t let you get this close. But your fingers slide higher, brushing along the thick column of his throat, tracing the edge of his beard.

“Been wanting this for a while, haven’t you?” you ask, breath warm against his cheek.

Christ. You’re shameless. And worse—he wants to give in.

His resolve crumbles when you press onto the balls of your feet, lips barely brushing his. A silent invitation. A challenge.

He grips your waist, not gentle, not hesitant, pulling you flush against him. A sharp inhale, a second’s hesitation—then his lips crash into yours, swallowing whatever taunt you were about to whisper next.

You melt against him, fingers twisting into his shirt, pulling him closer like you’ve wanted this just as badly. He groans into your mouth, deep and needy, his beard rough against your soft skin as his hands tighten, feeling the warmth of your body beneath his palms.

It’s been a long time since he’s let himself take something. And fuck, you’re making it impossible to stop now.

You gasp against his lips, a sweet little sound that shoots straight through him, sending all the blood in his body rushing south. His cock, already straining uncomfortably against the zipper of his jeans, presses hard against your belly, and he swears under his breath.

“You—” he starts, voice rough, but the words die in his throat when your hand slides between you, palming him through his jeans. A sharp hiss slips past his teeth. “—fuck. You’ve got no idea what you do to me, love.”

The endearment hangs heavy between you, thick with meaning, and the way your breath hitches tells him you felt it, too. You pull back just enough to meet his gaze through your lashes, lips curling into a knowing smirk.

“…I think I know exactly what I do to you,” you murmur, voice dripping with sweet, teasing sin.

His control snaps.

In one swift motion, he spins you, gripping the backs of your thighs and hoisting you onto the kitchen counter with effortless strength. You let out a soft, breathless laugh, hands clutching at his shoulders as he steps between your legs, settling his hips flush against yours.

“You’re a fuckin’ menace,” he growls, the words half-admiring, half-accusing, but his smirk betrays him. His hands slide up the heated skin of your thighs, thumbs pressing into soft flesh before gliding higher, slipping beneath the hem of your tank top.

When he pushes it up, his breath stutters.

Pastel pink lace. A delicate little bow in the center, nestled between the swell of your breasts. Fucking hell.

“For me?” he murmurs, voice lower now, rougher, as he dips his head to press open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, down the column of your throat, until he reaches the sensitive spot at the curve of your shoulder.

You hum in affirmation, fingers threading into his hair, nails scraping lightly against his scalp. He shudders at the feeling, at the way your hips shift, restless against his, seeking more.

His hands find the hem of your tiny little shorts, fingers hooking beneath the fabric with a quiet grunt. He gives them a sharp tug, impatience written in every movement.

“Hips,” he orders, voice thick, edged with need.

You obey without hesitation, lifting them eagerly, breath catching as he drags the fabric down your legs in one rough motion before tossing them to the floor. He’s barely paying attention to them now—no, his focus is locked entirely on you, on the delicate scrap of lace still clinging to your hips.

His pupils darken, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths as he takes in the sight of you, all wrapped up in soft, sheer fabric, the matching set he’s certain you wore just for him.

“Christ,” he mutters, running his hands up your thighs, fingers pressing possessively into warm skin. “You just had to be a fuckin’ tease, didn’t you?”

You smirk, shifting slightly on the counter, letting your legs spread just a little wider, an unspoken invitation. His jaw tightens, eyes flicking back up to yours, searching for something—permission, maybe, or control he knows he’s already lost.

A low curse rumbles in his chest as his hands move to his belt, unbuckling it with a practiced ease. The soft clink of metal echoes through the kitchen, followed by the slow, deliberate unzipping of his jeans. He shoves them down just enough, boxers sliding with them to mid-thigh, freeing his cock—heavy, hard, already leaking at the tip.

Your breath hitches, eyes flickering downward, but before you can say anything, he’s already moving. One hand gripping your hip, the other curling around the damp fabric of your panties.

“They’re too pretty to take off,” he murmurs, voice dark with something almost reverent as he tugs them to the side, exposing the wet heat of you. His cock twitches at the sight, at the way you shiver under his touch, at the way you’re already so fucking ready for him.

“Gonna ruin you just like this,” he breathes, lining himself up, dragging his thick head through your slick folds, teasing, testing. His forehead presses to yours, eyes heavy-lidded, dark with hunger.

“You want it, don’t you?” he rasps, nudging just barely at your entrance, enough to make you gasp. “Say it.”

You let out a shaky breath, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, grounding yourself against the solid warmth of him. His forehead stays pressed to yours, his breath hot, unsteady, as he keeps himself poised right at your entrance, refusing to move until you give him what he wants.

“Say it,” he murmurs again, voice deeper now, rougher. His cock throbs against you, thick and heavy, the head catching just enough to make your thighs twitch.

“Please,” you whisper, the word barely a breath.

His lips part, something dark and satisfied flashing across his face before he finally pushes forward, sinking into you with one slow, aching thrust. Your mouth falls open, a sharp inhale catching in your throat as he stretches you, your body molding around him, taking him in inch by inch.

“Fuck—” he exhales, his grip on your hips tightening, fingers digging into soft flesh. “That’s it… take it, love.”

His pace is slow at first, savoring the way you flutter around him, the way your nails press into his shoulders, clinging to him as if you’d fall apart otherwise. The fabric of your panties, still pushed to the side, rubs against the base of his cock with every movement, a delicious friction that makes his head spin.

“God, you feel so good,” he mutters, his lips brushing along your jaw, nipping at the delicate skin beneath your ear. “So fuckin’ tight around me.”

A broken moan escapes you, your hips rolling up to meet his, desperate for more. He grins against your skin, hands sliding up your waist before gripping beneath your thighs, angling you just right.

Then he moves—slow, deep strokes that have you gasping his name, your body trembling against his.

“That’s it,” he groans, watching the way your face twists in pleasure, how your lips part, how your eyes flutter shut. His own restraint is fraying, unraveling with every needy little sound you make. “Been thinkin’ about this, haven’t you? Been wantin’ me to fuck you just like this.”

You nod frantically, unable to form words, nails raking down his arms, your body burning beneath his.

He chuckles, voice laced with something dark, something utterly wrecked.

“Yeah,” he rasps, thrusting into you harder, deeper, his forehead pressing to yours once more. “Me too.”

His confession sends a shiver down your spine, heat pooling deep in your belly as his hips snap against yours, slow and deliberate, dragging every inch of himself from your soaked cunt only to sink back in, stretching you all over again

Your fingers twist into the fabric of his shirt, knuckles white, nails digging into the muscle beneath. He groans at the sting, at the way your body clenches around him like you never want to let him go.

"Fuckin' hell, love," he breathes against your lips, swallowing your moans as he kisses you, messy and consuming. "Look at you… takin’ me so damn well."

The words make your walls flutter, make him grunt as he buries himself to the hilt, keeping you pinned between the warmth of his body and the cool kitchen counter. Your legs tighten around his waist, heels digging into the backs of his thighs, urging him deeper, harder, until you're nothing but gasps and desperate little sounds against his mouth.

His breath is ragged, his control slipping as he watches the way your body moves with his, the way your fingers tug at his hair, dragging him closer, as if you need him pressed into you, as if you want him to consume you whole.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he groans, his voice raw. His grip on your waist tightens, his strokes turning more forceful, his cock hitting that devastating spot that has your back arching, a strangled moan falling from your lips.

"John—" His name breaks apart on your tongue.

"I know, sweetheart," he murmurs, forehead pressing to yours, sweat clinging to his brow. "I know—"

His hand snakes between your bodies, fingers pressing against the swollen bundle of nerves between your thighs, rubbing slow, tight circles. The pleasure spikes instantly, your body tensing, toes curling, the coil in your stomach winding impossibly tight.

"Come on, love," he encourages, voice rough, desperate. "Let me feel you. Let me have you."

Your breath shudders, your body bowing against his, and then you’re falling—pleasure ripping through you in waves, blinding and all-consuming. You clench around him, your walls milking him, dragging him to the edge with you.

"That's it—fuck—" His rhythm falters, his grip on you bruising as he thrusts deep one last time, his cock pulsing as he spills into you with a ragged groan, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he rides out the high.

For a moment, there’s only the sound of your heavy breathing, the faint hum of the refrigerator in the background, the warmth of his body pressing you down into the counter. His hands, rough and calloused, smooth over your trembling thighs, grounding you, keeping you there.

He exhales a quiet laugh against your skin, pressing a lazy kiss to your collarbone. "Christ, sweetheart," he mutters, voice spent, a little hoarse. "You’re gonna be the death of me."

You hum in amusement, fingers dragging idly through his damp hair. "Guess I should start making funeral arrangements, then."

He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head as he pulls back just enough to look at you. His eyes are still dark, still hazy with what just transpired, but there’s something softer there, too. Something that makes your stomach flutter all over again.

His fingers ghost over your cheek before trailing down your body, adjusting your panties back into place with a satisfied smirk.

"You," he murmurs, brushing his lips over yours, "are trouble."

[evilminji]

Actually? You know what we don't see enough?

People who get isekai'd, go "sure I'll Change The Plot" but then... just kinda get swept up in the local power system/a hyperfixation and forget. (Or like, lose the desire too)

Cause like... do any of YOU know what Cultivation feels like? Physically? Can any of US really tell how we'd react to sitting down, trying this whole "gotta stay under the radar, act like everyone else" thing... only... ONLY?? To have our SOUL go Brrrr~☆

Have all our insides get filled with sunlight. Our veins, sigh like they just stepped into a hot shower after weeks rolling in questionable mud. Feel... clean. Calm. Filled with light. Just a good ol... no thoughts, head empty, vibe session. With the UNIVERSE. Breathing it in... breathing it out... breathing it IN... breathing it-

Wait...

HOW MANY DAYS HAS IT BEEN?!

And like? The great irony? Being that they ARENT TRYING. There is no Challenging The Heavens or Ten Thousand Dragon Dist Of Doom Sword nonsense. No drama with face slapping or inner/inter Sect politics. Just? The slow but creeping realization that this is the calmest they have ever felt in their life.

No rent. No capitalistic hellscape. No riots or genocides she can't go stab, due to complexe economic and sociopolitical reasons, firstly being it wouldn't solve shit. It's? So calming? She can just sit under a waterfall. Or under a tree. In a garden! People leave her alone!

Ha...ha ha...aha Ha HA!

*vaguely deranged hysterical laughter* She FREE!!! AaaaaaAAAAAAA-!!!!!!!

Do they have to sedate her? Yeah. That was a pretty big Qi Deviation. She may have hulked out a bit. Bit people. But heart demons get to the best of us, man. She hasn't felt this chill in her LIFE.

Fffffuck the plot. *cheers her tea cup* you do you, boo! Go get um, honey! Aim for the eyes!! *siiiiip*

She? Would ironicly? Be the most advanced Cultivator in her generation? Solely by virtue of just really, REALLY enjoying Cultivating. By, ironically, not CARING and simply doing? By accepting who she is and as she is? Drifting gently upwards like a feather on a warm breeze? The universe would reward.

She would be grasping the meaning of the project, where others fail.

Not demanding power. Not striving to break the game. Not DEFYING Fate...

Just? Gently setting Fate aside. Setting everything aside. And sinking into starlight. Cause positive reinforcement go Brrr. Why all these arguments? This drama? Have a steamed bun. You should go meditate. *sedated grin with flower background*

Is she high? Fucking with people? No one knooooows.

But she's the Sect Leader's and various Shizun's FAVORITE. Like a human Capybara. Immaculate Vibes, OC. Keep up the good work! (She's so low maintenance! Never causes trouble with other Sects! No drinking, no whoring around in the mortal villages, and best of all? She'll help with paperwork then stay for tea! Listen to you ramble! It's like the daughter you never had.)

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @fangirlingpuggle @mayfay @hdgnj

[elikajinnie]

Was I Just A Bet? - P.J

P: Gryffindor!Jay X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Misunderstandings, Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization.

Synopsis: At Hogwarts, you built a reputation for rejecting every romantic advance. Jay, a popular Gryffindor, asks you out on a dare.

masterlist

--

Ever since you were a child, you watched people fall in love—the way their eyes lit up around each other, the way they cared deeply, selflessly, doing anything to make the other happy. It was something you had always longed to feel for yourself. You wanted to experience love, to be someone's first thought in the morning and last before they drifted off to sleep. But as you grew older, no one ever stirred that feeling in you. You waited, hoped, but there was never anyone who made you feel truly seen, let alone loved. And with each passing year, the frustration built.

Eventually, you had enough.

You decided to renounce love, at least from any guy. "It’ll be better this way," you told yourself, over and over again, a mantra each time you passed a couple in the streets or saw friends paired off, hand in hand. Love wasn’t for you, and that was fine. There were other things to focus on, more important things.

Then, the day your Hogwarts acceptance letter arrived, you had allowed yourself to hope. Maybe here, in this world of magic, you could find your place. You could study, make a few friends, and graduate without the complications of love, without boys breaking your heart. It seemed like a simple enough plan.

But life had other plans for you.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

During your first few years at Hogwarts, you built yourself a reputation without even meaning to. Word spread quickly that you were untouchable when it came to romance. Your focus was on magic, your friends, and your studies—nothing else. You rejected every boy who tried to ask you out, and there were more than a few. Some asked you shyly, others with confidence, but your answer was always the same.

“No, I’m not interested.”

At first, your friends teased you about it, telling you to loosen up, to have some fun. But they didn’t understand. You weren’t interested in getting hurt, in wasting time on something that, in your eyes, had become trivial. You had seen enough of your classmates go through the highs and lows of relationships, and none of it appealed to you.

The rejections continued throughout your years. Some boys were persistent, believing they could be the one to change your mind.

They weren’t. Over time, people began to accept it. The offers stopped coming, and with them, the whispers about who might try next.

Your reputation solidified. You were the girl who didn’t date. The girl who couldn’t be won over. To some, that made you a mystery, an unattainable challenge. To others, it made you intimidating. Either way, it didn’t bother you. In fact, it gave you the freedom you’d always wanted. No more awkward conversations, no more rejecting people’s advances. You could focus on what really mattered: honing your magic, learning every spell and potion with a precision that set you apart.

But even as the castle echoed with rumors of your romantic disinterest, you couldn’t escape the moments that gnawed at the edges of your resolve. The fleeting glances in the Great Hall, the flutter in your chest when someone smiled at you just the right way—moments you forced yourself to bury.

By fifth year, no one bothered asking you out anymore.

And yet, despite the peace that should have brought, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. That even though you’d built this wall around yourself, there was a part of you that wondered what it would be like to let someone in.

It crept in late at night when the castle was quiet, and the fire in the common room flickered softly in the hearth. You’d sit by the window, watching the stars, your friends laughing in the background, and you’d wonder. Wonder what it would feel like to hold someone’s hand, to have someone look at you like you were their whole world, to be vulnerable with someone and not feel like you were losing control.

You always pushed the thoughts away, focusing on your studies or your friends, but the feeling lingered like a shadow. The life you'd crafted for yourself was solid, predictable, but there were cracks. You could feel them. And with every passing day, that nagging voice in the back of your mind grew louder, asking the same question over and over again:

What if you were wrong?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

You were sitting in the Great Hall, laughing with your friends about something silly that happened in class earlier. The chatter of students filled the air, the clinking of cutlery and the low hum of conversation creating the familiar buzz of Hogwarts. You were completely unaware of the conversation taking place just a few seats down, a group of Gryffindor boys exchanging glances in hushed tones.

"I don't know what to do anymore, man. She won't go out with me," one of them, named Lucas, muttered in frustration, poking at his plate. His friends looked at him with a mix of amusement and pity.

"Maybe she just ain't interested," another, Kieran, said with a shrug, clearly stating the obvious.

"Nah, that's impossible. Who wouldn’t date me?" Lucas scoffed, running a hand through his hair like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

"Many people," a quieter voice added dryly, smirking. "Like her." He discreetly pointed in your direction.

You were oblivious, too caught up in the banter with your friends, smiling as you dipped a piece of toast into your soup. But the boys had their attention on you now, casting brief glances toward your end of the table.

“Bet she’ll date by the end of this year,” Kieran said suddenly, breaking the tension.

The others turned to him, eyebrows raised in surprise. “What?”

“I’m just saying," he continued. "No one stays single forever. Bet someone could get her to go out by the end of this year."

A third boy, Jungwon, shook his head firmly. “Guys, no. We’re not doing anything stupid. You know what they say about messing with people like that.”

"Yeah, don't be thick. We’re not pulling some sort of prank on her,” Kieran replied saracastically, though his eyes glimmered with a hint of mischief.

But Lucas, still stuck on his own bruised ego, leaned back in his seat and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, but let’s be real. Which of us would she even accept?”

There was a pause, and the group collectively turned thoughtful. No one spoke for a beat, as if they were sizing each other up. Then one of them muttered under his breath, almost as if he didn’t mean for anyone to hear: “Jay?”

All of their heads turned in unison to look at Jay, a quiet but undeniably popular Gryffindor, who was currently sitting across from them, completely absorbed in his meal. He had been oblivious to their entire conversation, minding his own business as he ate.

Jay had always been different from the others. Where the rest were loud and reckless, he was calm and thoughtful, the kind of person who didn’t seek attention but always managed to get it anyway. His sharp features and easy smile didn’t hurt either, making him someone who easily caught people’s eye, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

Kieran nudged Lucas. “You think he’d have a chance?”

“Maybe,” Lucas said, leaning forward. “He’s the only one who hasn’t tried.”

Jungwon rolled his eyes. “Because Jay isn’t stupid. He’s not going to go along with this.”

Before any of them could say more, Jay finally noticed the attention. He looked up from his plate, fork still in hand. “What?” he asked, sounding more curious than annoyed.

The others exchanged glances, unsure how to even start explaining what they had been discussing. Kieran, never one to shy away from a challenge, decided to go for it.

“We were just… talking about how you’re probably the only one who could get her to go out with someone,” he said, jerking his head toward your end of the table.

Jay followed the gesture, his eyes landing on you for the briefest moment before flicking back to his friends. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said flatly, turning back to his food.

Lucas leaned in, lowering his voice. “No, seriously. She’s turned down everyone. But you’re different. I bet you could—”

“Stop right there,” Jay interrupted, his tone now clearly annoyed. He put down his fork, his usually calm expression replaced with a frown. “You guys need to stop treating her like some kind of prize to be won. She’s not interested, end of story.”

The group fell silent, awkwardness settling between them. Even Jungwon seemed to agree with Jay’s sentiment, nodding slightly.

But Kieran, never one to back down easily, leaned back in his chair, smirking slightly. “What if she was interested in you though? Would you give it a shot?”

Jay hesitated for the briefest moment, his eyes flicking back to you once more. But instead of answering, he grabbed his bag and stood up. “I’ve got better things to do than play these kinds of games,” he said, and with that, he walked away, leaving his friends to stew in their own thoughts.

Unbeknownst to you, a ripple of tension had settled between the boys. But Jay’s words stuck with them, even after he’d left.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

The boys didn’t let it go.

The next few days, every chance they got, they found a way to bring you up in conversation with Jay. It was subtle at first—side comments, casual jokes—but when Jay continued to ignore them, they ramped it up.

"Come on, Jay, just ask her," Lucas said one afternoon while they were lounging in the common room. He had a tone of desperation in his voice, like this whole thing was his last shot at redeeming his bruised ego.

Jay barely glanced up from the book he was reading. "I told you, I'm not interested. Find someone else to mess with."

"She’s not gonna say yes to any of us," Kieran added, flopping onto the couch across from Jay. "But you? You've got a chance, man."

Jay sighed, snapping the book shut and fixing them with an exasperated look. "I’m not asking her out for you guys. What are you even trying to prove?"

The group exchanged glances. There was a beat of silence before Lucas blurted out, "Okay, fine. We made a bet. Happy now?"

Jay raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. "A bet."

"Yeah," Kieran continued. "That someone could get her to go out with them by the end of the year. And look, if you do this, we’ll—" He paused, clearly trying to think of an enticing offer. "We’ll do anything. Name it, and it’s yours."

"Anything?" Jay asked, skeptical.

"Anything," Lucas confirmed quickly, leaning forward. "You want help with Quidditch practice? Done. Extra study notes for exams? You got it. Just name it."

Jay leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, watching them with growing amusement. "And what do you get out of it, besides winning a stupid bet?"

Kieran smirked. "Bragging rights, mostly. And maybe the satisfaction of knowing we finally figured out what she wants."

Lucas nodded. "And we’ll stop bugging you about it."

Jay let out a short laugh. "This is ridiculous. You realize that, right?"

Jungwon, who had been quiet for most of the conversation, finally chimed in. "It’s not like we’re asking you to date her. Just ask her out once, see what happens. You don’t even have to mean it. We just—" He shrugged. "We want to see if she’ll say yes to anyone."

Jay's expression shifted, his initial irritation fading as he considered their offer. There was no denying it—he could get almost anything he wanted out of this. And truthfully, he was curious. He’d never thought about you in that way, but the way the others talked about you, with that mix of fascination and frustration, made him wonder. You were untouchable to them, this mystery they couldn’t figure out. And as much as he hated the idea of using someone to win a bet, part of him was intrigued by the challenge.

"Anything, huh?" Jay repeated, making them all sit up a little straighter.

"Anything," Lucas echoed eagerly.

Jay was quiet for a moment, then finally, with a resigned sigh, he nodded. "Fine. But I’m not doing this for your bet. You guys owe me—big time."

Lucas grinned, slapping Kieran on the back. "Done. Whatever you want, mate."

Jay rolled his eyes, already regretting his decision. He wasn’t one to play games like this, but if getting them off his back meant asking you out once, it couldn’t be that bad, right? He just had to approach you, see what happened, and that would be the end of it. Simple.

But something about it felt anything but simple. You weren’t just some random girl, after all. You were smart, independent, and completely uninterested in dating. You had turned down every guy who had approached you, without even a second thought. And while the others were too focused on their bruised egos to see it, Jay could sense that there was more to your refusal than what met the eye.

As the group dispersed, leaving Jay alone with his thoughts, he found himself wondering—if he did ask you out, how would you respond? Would you see right through him, knowing it wasn’t genuine? Or would you surprise everyone, including him?

One way or another, he was about to find out.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

The days following their agreement were relentless. The boys wouldn’t let up, bugging Jay every chance they got about asking you out. Every time they passed him in the hall or caught him during meals, they’d throw out some comment about “the bet” or nudge him about “getting it over with.”

“You haven’t done it yet, right?” Lucas would say, leaning in with that expectant smirk.

“C’mon, it’s not that hard. Just ask her,” Kieran would add, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Jay did his best to brush them off, but eventually, it became clear that they wouldn’t stop until he went through with it. He wasn’t sure why he was so hesitant. Maybe it was the way they were treating it like a game, or maybe it was because you were different from the others they’d approached before. But either way, Jay knew he had to get it over with.

Then, one afternoon, the golden moment came. You were sitting by yourself in the courtyard, your bag leaning against the stone wall as you flipped through a book, your focus entirely on whatever you were reading. Jay, spotting his chance, took a deep breath and walked toward you, trying to push aside the strange nerves building in his chest. He wasn’t usually nervous around people, least of all girls, but something about this felt different. Maybe it was because he knew you wouldn’t be easily impressed. Maybe it was because, despite his intentions, he was genuinely curious about what you’d say.

As he approached, you looked up, your gaze meeting his. He saw a flicker of surprise cross your face, probably because you weren’t used to him talking to you. For a brief moment, Jay hesitated, but then he forced himself to speak.

“Hey,” he said casually, shoving his hands into his pockets.

You raised an eyebrow. “Hey.”

He could feel the weight of your stare, sizing him up in that same quiet, thoughtful way you always had. Jay wasn’t like the others who had come to you with grand gestures or awkward flattery. He didn’t try to impress you with rehearsed lines. Instead, he simply looked at you and said, “I know this is probably not your thing, but I was wondering if you’d want to go out sometime. Just… I don’t know, grab a butterbeer or something?”

For a moment, you didn’t respond. You just looked at him, your gaze steady, but Jay could tell you were actually thinking about it. You didn’t reject him immediately like you had with the others. There was something in the way your eyes flickered over him—taking in his composed, relaxed posture, the sincerity in his voice. It caught you off guard, maybe because he hadn’t come across as desperate or pushy. He was just… asking.

But eventually, after what felt like an eternity, you shook your head softly, a small, almost apologetic smile on your lips. “Sorry, Jay. I don’t really do the whole dating thing.”

Jay wasn’t surprised, but something in the way you said it made him feel like it wasn’t as easy for you to reject him as it had been with the others. There was a pause, and then you added, “But… thanks for asking.”

He shrugged, offering a half-smile. “No worries. Figured I’d give it a shot.”

And with that, he walked away, no drama, no hard feelings. He didn’t seem upset, just accepting. But as he left, you found yourself watching him go, your thoughts lingering on him longer than you expected. Jay was different from the others. He hadn’t made you feel pressured or uncomfortable. And while you had rejected him, part of you wondered if it might have been a mistake. You watched him until he disappeared from sight, a thoughtful look crossing your face.

When Jay finally returned to his friends, Lucas and Kieran were waiting, their eyes lighting up with anticipation. “Well?” Lucas asked, leaning forward. “How’d it go?”

Jay shrugged, sitting down on the bench beside them. “She said no.”

“That’s it?” Kieran frowned, like he couldn’t believe it was that simple. “You just walked away?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” Jay shot back, his voice calm but firm. “I asked, she answered. End of story.”

But his friends weren’t satisfied with that. Over the next few days, they kept at him, pushing him to try again. “Come on, Jay. You can’t just give up like that,” Lucas would say. “You’ve gotta try harder. She didn’t outright reject you, right? There’s a chance.”

Kieran would join in too, nudging Jay with a grin. “Maybe she’s just playing hard to get. One more try, and I bet she’ll say yes.”

Jay, however, had had enough. He shook his head every time, rejecting their ideas. “I did what I promised,” he said firmly. “I’m not doing it again. It’s done.”

But something had changed. Even though Jay refused to entertain their pestering, he couldn’t help but keep an eye on you more than before. He didn’t know why, but he found himself watching you when you were in the common room or when you passed by in the halls. He wasn’t interested in winning any stupid bet anymore, but there was something about you that had stuck with him.

You were different from what he had expected—stronger, more thoughtful. And now, every time he saw you, he couldn’t help but wonder what was really going on behind those quiet, steady eyes.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

It happened so quickly that you barely had time to process it. One minute you were walking down the corridor, minding your own business, and the next thing you knew, a strong gust of wind rushed behind you, practically shoving you into an empty classroom. The door slammed shut behind you with an unsettling finality.

You spun around, eyes wide, reaching for the handle, only to find it locked tight. Panic briefly flared in your chest, and you tried again, jiggling the handle harder this time. It wouldn’t budge.

“Great,” you muttered under your breath, giving the door one last shove before finally stepping back. That was when you noticed you weren’t alone.

Jay stood at the other end of the room, frozen in place, staring at you with wide eyes. He looked just as surprised as you were, a book in his hand and several parchment scrolls spread out across a desk near him. It was clear he hadn’t expected this any more than you had.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, still trying to wrap your head around the situation.

“I—uh—was just helping Professor Flitwick with some charms work,” Jay stammered, glancing around the room as if trying to figure out how you’d both ended up in this position. His brows furrowed, and he took a few cautious steps toward the door. “Did someone lock us in?”

You crossed your arms, sighing. “It feels like it.”

Jay tried the door, tugging at the handle with just as much frustration as you had, but it didn’t budge. After a minute, he gave up, turning to look at you with a resigned expression. “I guess we’re stuck.”

There was a beat of silence as the reality of the situation set in. There was no getting out anytime soon, and the room was completely empty except for the two of you. With a sigh, you walked over to one of the desks and sat down, resting your arms on the surface. Jay hesitated for a moment before following suit, taking the seat across from you.

For a while, neither of you spoke. The room was filled with silence, punctuated only by the faint sounds of the castle’s distant creaks and murmurs. Jay shifted awkwardly in his seat, glancing at you occasionally, while you stared at the desk, trying to figure out how to handle this.

Then, after what felt like forever, Jay cleared his throat. “So… this is awkward.”

You snorted despite yourself, glancing up at him. “Yeah, you could say that.”

There was a brief pause, and then Jay spoke again, more softly this time. “Look, I didn’t ask for this, and I’m guessing you didn’t either. But since we’re stuck here… maybe we could just talk?”

You raised an eyebrow, unsure whether to humor him. But something in Jay’s expression—his genuine attempt to break the tension—made you decide to give it a shot. After all, it wasn’t like you had anything better to do.

“Alright,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “What do you want to talk about?”

Jay smiled, relieved, and for the first time since you’d met him, you saw a spark of warmth behind his usual laid-back demeanor. “Honestly, anything. You know, I don’t think we’ve ever actually talked before. Like, really talked.”

You shrugged, giving him a slight smile. “Not much of a talker, I guess.”

Jay chuckled, nodding. “Fair enough. But I’m curious. You’re always so put together, like nothing rattles you. How do you manage that? Doesn’t anything ever get to you?”

You blinked, surprised by the question. No one had ever really asked you that before. And certainly not with the kind of sincerity Jay was showing now. For a moment, you considered giving a vague, dismissive answer, but something about the quiet intimacy of the room made you feel like it was okay to let your guard down, just a little.

“I guess… I’ve learned not to let things get to me,” you said slowly. “People expect a lot, you know? So, I just stopped caring what they thought.”

Jay nodded thoughtfully, leaning his elbows on the desk as he listened. “That makes sense. But it’s gotta be exhausting sometimes, right? Keeping that wall up.”

You hesitated, glancing down at your hands. “Yeah… sometimes.”

You were quiet for a while after that, but the tension had eased. Jay wasn’t trying to pry, and you appreciated that. The conversation shifted into lighter topics, and soon enough, you found yourself laughing at one of Jay’s stories about a disastrous Quidditch practice that had gone hilariously wrong. It was easy, natural. He wasn’t trying to impress you; he was just… being himself. And you realized, much to your surprise, that you actually enjoyed talking to him.

The laughter died down, leaving a comfortable silence in its wake. Jay leaned back in his chair, a soft smile still lingering on his lips. And then, without warning, he looked at you with a seriousness that hadn’t been there before.

“You know, I wasn’t going to bring this up again,” Jay began, his voice quiet, “but since we’re stuck here, and you don’t seem to hate me…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly before meeting your eyes. “What if I asked you out again? For real this time. No bets, no pressure. Just… a date. What would you say?”

You could feel your heart racing in your chest as you considered his offer. Part of you wanted to retreat, to protect yourself like you always had. But another part—the part that had been curious about Jay ever since that first conversation—was tired of being so guarded.

So, after a long moment, you took a deep breath and did something you hadn’t done in years.

You smiled at him, genuinely, and nodded. “Okay. I’ll go on a date with you.”

Jay blinked in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected you to say yes, but then his expression softened into a warm, almost disbelieving smile. “Really?”

“Really,” you confirmed, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nervousness.

And just like that, for the first time since you were a child, you allowed yourself to step out from behind the walls you’d built. You didn’t know what would come next, but for the first time in a long time, you were ready to find out.

The conversation between you and Jay eventually faded into a comfortable silence, but the reality of your situation remained—you were still locked in the classroom. That is, until Jay suddenly sat up straight.

"Wait," he said, his face lighting up with realization, "I have my wand."

You blinked at him, momentarily stunned by how obvious the solution was. "You’ve had it this whole time?"

Jay rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, pulling his wand out of his pocket. "Yeah… sorry about that."

With a flick of his wrist and a muttered charm, the door clicked open. You stood up, crossing the room toward the door, but something caught your eye near the floor—your own wand, lying forgotten. You must have dropped it when you’d been shoved into the classroom. Picking it up, you felt a wave of relief wash over you.

“Nice work,” you said, flashing Jay a teasing grin as you stepped into the corridor. The castle was quiet now, most students in their common rooms or already asleep.

Jay walked out after you, looking a little embarrassed but smiling nonetheless. “I’ll do better next time.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Next time?”

Jay’s eyes widened, but he quickly recovered. “I mean… for the date. If that still stands.”

You found yourself smiling again, that rare, genuine smile you hadn’t used much in recent years. “Yeah, it still stands. We’re still on for butterbeer.”

Jay grinned, and for a moment, he looked more relieved than anything. “How about next weekend? Hogsmeade?”

You nodded. “Sounds good. The Three Broomsticks?”

“Yeah, perfect,” Jay said, his smile growing wider.

There was a brief pause as you both stood there, not quite knowing how to end the conversation, but eventually, you gave him a small wave. “See you then.”

“See you,” Jay replied, his voice carrying a hint of excitement as he turned and walked down the corridor, disappearing around the corner.

When Jay finally found his friends, they were sprawled out in the common room, looking like they were waiting for him. As soon as he stepped in, they all jumped up, expectant looks on their faces.

“Well?” Kieran asked, barely able to contain his excitement. “What happened?”

Jay leaned against the wall, a small, satisfied smirk on his face. “She said yes.”

The room erupted into chaos. Lucas threw his arms up in victory, and Kieran did a little celebratory dance. Jungwon clapped him on the back, grinning like mad.

“I knew it!” Kieran shouted. “I knew she’d say yes eventually!”

“Best day ever!” Lucas added, punching the air. “Jay, you’re a legend!”

Jay rolled his eyes, but there was no denying the grin on his face. Still, he held up a hand to quiet them down. “Alright, alright, keep it down. Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”

Kieran, who was practically bouncing on his feet, looked confused. “Wait, why? This is huge!”

Jay’s expression softened slightly. “I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want her to think it’s some big joke, alright? So, let’s keep it quiet.”

Lucas and Kieran exchanged glances before nodding. They owed Jay that much—after all, they’d bugged him relentlessly, and he’d finally succeeded.

“Fine, fine,” Kieran agreed, still grinning. “We’ll keep it quiet.”

Jungwon gave Jay a more serious nod of approval. “Good call, man. Don’t worry, we won’t mess it up for you.”

Back in your own dormitory, things went down a little differently.

As soon as you told your friends about the date, they exploded into a frenzy of squealing and excited chatter. You hadn’t even finished the sentence before one of them screamed.

“Wait, you said yes?!” your friend Eliza shrieked, her eyes wide with disbelief.

You nodded, watching as the other girls jumped up from their beds, surrounding you with beaming smiles.

“I can’t believe it!” Hannah exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “We thought you’d never say yes to anyone!”

Another friend, Layla, stared at you in shock. “You rejected Jay the first time, though. What changed?”

You shrugged, feeling a little overwhelmed by their excitement. “I guess… I realized he’s different from the others. He wasn’t just trying to ask me out because of some dare or whatever. He actually seems to care.”

Hannah squealed again, nearly jumping up and down. “This is amazing! You’re going to have so much fun.”

Eliza grabbed your hand, shaking it as if the excitement was too much to contain. “This is huge! You have to tell us everything afterward, okay? Every detail!”

You chuckled softly, feeling a little embarrassed by all the attention. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell you. But it’s just a date. No big deal.”

Layla shook her head, still smiling. “Are you kidding? It’s a huge deal! You’ve been saying no to everyone for years. This is… this is a breakthrough!”

The room buzzed with happiness, and while you didn’t say much more, you let them have their moment. They were excited for you, and deep down, you were starting to feel the same.

For the first time in a long time, you had let someone in, and instead of feeling vulnerable, you felt something else—something almost thrilling.

And as your friends squealed and planned outfits for your upcoming date, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

Maybe, just maybe, letting someone in wasn’t so bad after all.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

The news of your date with Jay spread faster than a wildfire through Hogwarts, much to your dismay. You had hoped it would stay between your close circle of friends and his, but that was clearly wishful thinking. By the time Monday rolled around, whispers followed you down the corridors.

People were talking—about you.

“Did you hear she went out with Jay?”

“She said yes? After rejecting everyone for years?”

“I thought she wasn’t into anyone… Guess Jay must be something special.”

You ignored most of it, focusing on your classes and trying not to let it bother you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t dealt with attention before, but this felt different. Now, instead of just admiring glances or half-hearted attempts to ask you out, people were actually speculating about your private life, and it was unsettling.

It didn’t help that some of the guys you’d turned down in the past were less than pleased to hear about your date with Jay.

One afternoon, as you were making your way to the library, you felt eyes on you again. It was a group of boys, some of whom you had rejected before. They were leaning against the stone walls in the corridor, their voices low but clearly directed at you as you passed by.

“Well, look who it is,” one of them muttered, his tone laced with sarcasm. “Guess she’s not as untouchable as we thought.”

You kept walking, trying to ignore them, but another voice piped up. “Yeah, I thought you weren’t into anyone. What, Jay’s better than us now?”

That made you stop. You turned to face them, your heart pounding in your chest. “It’s not like that,” you started, trying to stay calm. “Jay—he’s just…”

But before you could finish, one of the boys, a Slytherin you’d turned down last year, stepped forward with a sneer. “What’s so special about him, huh? You rejected everyone else, but he gets a free pass?”

You felt a flare of irritation rising in your chest. “This isn’t any of your business,” you said sharply. “I can go out with whoever I want.”

The Slytherin smirked, crossing his arms. “Yeah, we get that, but don’t pretend like you’re above us just because you finally said yes to someone. It’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”

Your stomach twisted with frustration, and you took a step back, wishing more than anything that you hadn’t stopped in the first place. Just as things started to escalate, a familiar voice cut through the tension.

“Is there a problem here?”

You turned to see Jay walking toward you, his expression calm but his eyes sharp as he glanced at the group of boys. The shift in the air was immediate. The guys who had been giving you a hard time suddenly seemed less confident, their smirks fading as Jay approached.

“Jay,” the Slytherin started, his voice faltering slightly, “we were just—”

“You were just what?” Jay interrupted, his tone steady but firm. He stepped closer, standing beside you in a way that felt protective. “Trying to make her feel uncomfortable? Or are you upset because she didn’t say yes to you?”

The boy opened his mouth to retort but quickly closed it, looking flustered. His friends were already backing away, clearly not wanting to get involved now that Jay was there.

“No, man, we were just talking,” another one muttered, shrugging as if the whole thing had been a misunderstanding.

Jay didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push it. Instead, he turned to you and gave you a reassuring look. “You alright?”

You nodded, still a little shaken but grateful for his timing. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good.” Jay looked back at the group of boys, his expression unreadable. “I think we’re done here, don’t you?”

Without another word, the boys scattered, disappearing down the hall without so much as a backward glance. The tension in the air lifted, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

Jay turned back to you, his demeanor softening. “Sorry about that,” he said quietly. “You okay? I didn’t mean to jump in like that, but it looked like they were giving you a hard time.”

You managed a small smile, feeling a surge of appreciation for him. “No, I’m glad you did. Thanks.”

He gave you a nod, his eyes lingering on you for a moment before he spoke again. “Look, if anyone gives you trouble about us, let me know, alright? I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with that on your own.”

There was something in his tone—genuine concern, not just for the situation but for you. It made your chest tighten in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. “I will,” you promised. “Thanks, Jay. Really.”

He flashed you a small smile, the kind that made your heart skip just a little. “Anytime.”

With that, Jay walked you to the library, the earlier confrontation already feeling like a distant memory. You couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of comfort in his presence, like maybe—just maybe—letting someone in wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

As you parted ways, you found yourself thinking about how easy it had been to accept his help. You’d spent so long keeping your walls up, but with Jay, things felt different. Natural.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

As the weeks passed, the dates with Jay became something you looked forward to—no longer something to be nervous about, but a time to relax and enjoy his company.

Jay had this way of making everything feel effortless. He never pressured you, never pushed for more than you were ready to give. Instead, he created a space where you could simply be yourself, something you hadn’t realized you craved so much.

One chilly afternoon, the two of you found yourselves in the Three Broomsticks again, sharing a butterbeer in your usual corner booth. The fire crackled nearby, casting a warm glow as snowflakes danced outside the windows. Jay was talking about something that had happened in Potions class—a small explosion that left half the class covered in purple goo—and you couldn’t help but laugh at his animated retelling of the chaos.

“Merlin, I wish I’d seen that,” you said between giggles, picturing the scene.

Jay grinned. “It was a disaster. But a hilarious one.” He took a sip of his butterbeer before giving you a thoughtful look. “What about you? Any crazy class stories? You always seem to have things together, though.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Oh, trust me, I’ve had my fair share of disasters.” You thought back to a particularly embarrassing Charms mishap during your second year, when your spell went wrong and sent your quill flying across the room, hitting a professor in the face. You told Jay the story, and his laughter echoed through the tavern, making you smile even wider.

It felt so natural, this easy back-and-forth between you. And it wasn’t just laughter. As the days passed, you started to open up about deeper things, the kind of things you had kept buried for years.

One evening, while walking back to the castle from Hogsmeade, the topic turned to your past, to why you had been so guarded for so long. The night was quiet, snow crunching under your boots as you made your way up the path.

Jay looked at you, his expression soft but curious. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but… I’ve always wondered. Why didn’t you want to date anyone before?”

You hesitated for a moment, but something about the way he asked—gentle, without any pressure—made it easier to answer. You took a deep breath, watching your breath form little clouds in the cold air. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to date anyone. I guess… I just didn’t trust it. I’d seen so many people fall in love and get hurt. And I didn’t want to be like that. Vulnerable.”

Jay was quiet for a moment, processing what you’d said. “I get that. But… not everyone gets hurt, you know? I mean, yeah, love can be risky, but it can also be worth it.”

You smiled softly, appreciating his perspective. “I’m starting to see that.”

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Jay had never been the type to get too caught up in feelings. He was easygoing, the guy everyone liked because he kept things light. When his friends had first dragged him into the bet, he went along with it more for the fun of watching them scramble than anything else. And yeah, he’d admit it—he enjoyed the perks of having them do favors for him, running around trying to make sure he didn’t give up too easily.

At first, it was simple. Ask you out, get you to say yes, and then maybe after a few dates, he’d call it quits. That was the plan. He didn’t expect to actually like you beyond the challenge. It was all supposed to be a joke, something to laugh about later with his friends.

But then the first date happened. And something shifted.

You weren’t like anyone he’d ever spent time with before. You were sharp, independent, and you didn’t let people in easily. He respected that. At first, he thought you were just closed off, that you had a wall around you because of past experiences. But during that first butterbeer, when you opened up just a little, he saw a glimpse of the real you—someone with layers, someone with a mind full of thoughts and a heart full of untold stories.

And it hit him—he liked you.

It had only been one date, and already, he felt a pang of guilt. He had no idea it would get this far, no idea that this wouldn’t be some simple, fleeting fling. And suddenly, his initial plan—dating you for the sake of a bet—felt like a dirty little secret. He hadn’t expected to care, hadn’t expected to enjoy your company the way he did.

But then came the second date. And the third. And each time, instead of feeling like he was closer to ending things, he found himself wanting more.

By the fourth date, he was all in. The guilt lingered, gnawing at him, but there was no denying it anymore: he was falling for you. Hard.

He started noticing everything about you—the way you smiled when you thought no one was watching, how your eyes sparkled when you talked about something you were passionate about, and the quiet strength you carried with you. Jay wasn’t sure how it had happened, but somewhere along the way, this had stopped being about the bet. It had become real.

One evening, while the two of you sat by the lake, watching the sky turn shades of pink and purple, Jay found himself thinking about all of it. About how wrong it was in the beginning, how his intentions had been shallow. But more than anything, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he had changed since that first date. He had been pretending to care at first, but now… now he didn’t have to pretend at all.

He wanted to be with you. For real.

Sitting beside you, Jay turned to look at you, his heart heavy with unspoken words. He wasn’t sure how or when he would tell you the truth about how this all started, but he knew one thing for certain: he couldn’t lose you now.

“Hey,” he said softly, breaking the comfortable silence between you. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

You looked at him, curious. “What is it?”

Jay hesitated, the words catching in his throat. He wanted to confess everything right then, to tell you about the bet, about how it had all started as a game, but also about how real it had become for him. But he couldn’t do it. Not yet.

“Just that… I’m really glad we’re doing this,” he said, his voice sincere.

You smiled at him, a soft, genuine smile that made his chest tighten. “Me too.”

For a while, you both just sat there, side by side, watching the light dance on the water. The quiet seemed to settle in around you, creating a little bubble where it was just the two of you and nothing else mattered.

Then, a sudden cold breeze swept through, causing a shiver to run down your spine. You instinctively pulled your robes tighter around yourself, but it wasn’t enough. Without even thinking, you scooted closer to Jay, drawn to the warmth of his body. Your shoulder brushed against his, and you could feel the heat radiating from him, a contrast to the chill in the air.

Jay glanced over at you, noticing the movement, and a small smile played at the corner of his lips. “Cold?” he asked softly.

You nodded, rubbing your arms to warm yourself up. “A bit,” you admitted with a soft chuckle, trying not to focus too much on how close you were sitting now.

Without a word, Jay lifted his arm and draped it casually around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. The gesture was natural, as if it had been something he’d wanted to do all along. His warmth enveloped you, and you relaxed against him, letting the tension in your body ease.

“There, better?” he asked, his voice low, almost teasing, but there was a gentleness behind it.

“Yeah, much better,” you replied, leaning into him just a little more. The cold was still there, but it didn’t bother you as much anymore—not with Jay so close, his arm wrapped securely around you.

For a few minutes, the two of you stayed like that, wrapped up in each other’s warmth as the night settled in around you. It felt… right.

You glanced over at him, your gaze meeting his. There was something different in the way he was looking at you tonight—something deeper, more intense.

Neither of you spoke, but slowly, Jay shifted closer, his hand finding yours and lacing your fingers together. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver up your spine, and your breath caught as his thumb gently traced circles on the back of your hand.

He looked down at your joined hands, then back up at you, his eyes dark with something you couldn’t quite place. "I’ve wanted to do this for a while," he murmured, his voice low, almost hesitant.

Your heart raced, and you swallowed, the tension between you growing thicker. “Do what?”

Jay didn’t answer with words. Instead, he leaned in, closing the distance between you, his lips brushing against yours in a tentative kiss. The world seemed to slow in that moment, the soft press of his lips against yours igniting a fire that had been smoldering for weeks.

You melted into him, your hand tightening around his as you responded to the kiss, a rush of warmth spreading through you. His other hand gently cupped your cheek, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, turning from soft and hesitant to something more urgent, more intense.

Jay’s fingers slipped from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer as his kiss grew more heated, more desperate. His lips moved against yours with a hunger that mirrored your own, and without thinking, you reached up, your fingers tangling in his hair.

A soft groan escaped Jay’s lips as you tugged lightly, and in response, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. You could feel the heat of his body through your robes, the way his chest rose and fell with each ragged breath. His hand slid down your back, finding its way under your robes, his fingers brushing against your skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

Your head spun as the kiss intensified, and for a brief moment, you tried to pull back, needing air, needing to catch your breath—but Jay wasn’t having it. With a low growl, he pulled you back, his lips crashing against yours once more, more desperate than before.

“More,” he mumbled against your lips, his voice thick with want. “More.”

His hands roamed over your body, caressing you through the layers of fabric, as if he couldn’t get enough.

When you tried to pull back again, needing just a second to breathe, Jay’s grip on you tightened, his fingers digging into your waist as he pulled you impossibly closer. His breath was hot against your lips as he murmured, “Don’t stop. Please. Just… more.”

Your heart raced, your mind spinning with how much you wanted him, how much you needed him in that moment. Every time you pulled back, he was right there, pulling you in again, kissing you deeper, his hands exploring every inch of you as he whispered “more” over and over, his voice heavy with desire.

You didn’t know how long the two of you stayed like that—wrapped up in each other, kissing like you’d been starved for it, for each other. Time seemed to blur, and all you could feel was the heat of his body pressed against yours, the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his lips moved against yours with a need that matched your own.

When you finally managed to pull back, gasping for air, your foreheads rested together, both of you breathing heavily. Jay’s eyes were dark, filled with a longing that made your stomach flip. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at you, his thumb gently brushing against your swollen lips.

And then, in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper, he murmured, “I’m falling for you. Hard.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest, and for the first time, you realized that the walls you had built around yourself weren’t just crumbling—they were gone.

“I think I’m falling for you too,” you whispered back.

Jay smiled softly, his hand still tangled in your hair as he pulled you in for another kiss, this one slower, sweeter.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

The library was your sanctuary—a quiet place where you could escape from everything. You were there to gather a few books for your assignment, your mind focused on Potions and Charms, anything to keep yourself productive. The familiar scent of old parchment and ink surrounded you, and the soft sounds of pages turning from students studying filled the space.

You were reaching for a book on a high shelf when you heard voices from the other side of the bookshelf. Normally, you would’ve tuned out background noise, but something in the conversation caught your attention. It wasn’t loud, but it was just close enough to make out the words.

"Is Jay really dating her?" A girl’s voice. The tone had a hint of disbelief, as if she couldn’t quite understand the idea.

Your fingers paused on the spine of the book as your stomach tightened. You told yourself it wasn’t worth eavesdropping. That you shouldn’t care. But something kept you rooted in place.

"Nah, he isn’t for real," a boy’s voice responded. The casual tone in his voice made your heart race. "He made a bet with Kieran and Lucas."

The words hit you like a blow to the chest.

You froze, your mind reeling. A bet. You stood there, motionless, feeling like the ground had just been ripped out from under you. The voices continued talking, but you couldn’t hear anything else after that. The buzzing in your ears drowned out everything else as you struggled to make sense of what you’d just overheard.

It felt like the world tilted, your thoughts racing as you replayed every moment with Jay in your head. Every conversation, every laugh, every kiss. Was it all part of a game? A cruel joke?

You didn’t want to believe it. But there it was—the truth laid bare by careless words spoken in a dusty corner of the library. It wasn’t supposed to hurt like this. You’d never let yourself get this close to anyone for this exact reason, but Jay had somehow slipped through the cracks of your defenses. And now, everything was crumbling.

The voices moved on, the conversation shifting to something trivial, but you remained frozen in place. Your heart pounded in your chest as anger and hurt swirled inside you, your thoughts muddled and spinning out of control.

Slowly, you lowered your hand from the bookshelf and stepped away, your head spinning. You needed air, space to think. You needed to be anywhere but here, surrounded by the suffocating silence of the library.

You pushed past the shelves and made your way out, the noise of students chattering and studying blending into a blur. The only thing you could focus on was the betrayal clawing at your chest, the feeling of being played—by the one person you had let in after so long.

The memory of Jay’s smile, his gentle touch, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world… Was that all part of the game too?

You thought back to that night by the lake when he kissed you for the first time, when he told you he was falling for you. Was that a lie too? Had any of it been real?

Your heart pounded harder with each step as the pain built, a lump forming in your throat. You needed to find Jay, confront him, get the truth from him directly. You deserved that much, at least.

As you rounded the corner into the courtyard, your eyes immediately found him—Jay sitting with Kieran and Lucas, the same ones who had apparently been part of the bet. They were laughing, oblivious to the storm brewing inside you. The sight made your blood boil.

Without thinking, you marched over, the fury in your chest rising with every step. You could feel their eyes on you as you approached, the laughter dying down, replaced by confusion as they noticed the look on your face.

"Hey," Jay started, his voice light, as if nothing had happened, as if your whole world hadn’t just shattered.

You didn’t give him a chance to say more. "Was it a bet?" you asked sharply, your voice trembling with anger. You didn’t waste time, didn’t dance around the question. You needed the truth, and you needed it now.

Jay’s smile faltered, his expression shifting from confusion to concern. "What?"

"A bet," you repeated, your voice louder now. "Was I just a bet to you, Jongseong?"

His friends exchanged glances, and Kieran shifted uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding your gaze. Jay’s face went pale, the blood draining from it as he realized you knew. You could see the guilt written all over his features, the way his eyes darted from you to his friends, as if searching for a way out of this. But there was no way out.

"Tell me," you demanded, your voice shaking with fury and hurt. "Tell me the truth, Jay."

He stood up, his hands held out in front of him as if to calm you down, but it only made you angrier. "It’s not—look, it wasn’t supposed to—"

"Answer the question!" You cut him off, your voice loud enough to make heads turn from nearby students. You didn’t care. The world could burn for all you cared in that moment. All you wanted was the truth.

Jay let out a shaky breath, his eyes filled with regret, but it was too late for that. "Yes," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "It started as a bet. But I—"

That was all you needed to hear. Your heart broke in an instant, the crack so deep it felt like it would never heal. The sting of betrayal cut sharper than any spell, sharper than any pain you had ever felt.

You took a step back, your entire body trembling with the force of your emotions. "You used me," you said, your voice cracking, the tears you had been holding back threatening to spill.

"No, it wasn’t like that," Jay pleaded, his eyes desperate now, stepping toward you, but you took another step back. "I swear, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I didn’t mean—"

"But you did," you snapped, cutting him off. "You made a choice. You played with me like I was just some game, some prize to be won. And I fell for it. I fell for you."

The pain in your voice must have hit him, because Jay’s face crumpled, his hands falling to his sides. "I didn’t know it would turn into this," he said softly, his voice breaking. "I didn’t know I’d fall for you, too."

You shook your head, unable to believe anything he said now. "But it doesn’t matter, does it? Because I can’t trust you anymore. I can’t trust any of this."

Jay took another step forward, reaching out as if to touch you, to make you stay. "Please, just let me explain—"

You shoved him back, your hands shaking. "No. We’re done, Jay." Your voice was final, the weight of your words sinking into the silence that followed.

His friends, Kieran and Lucas, stood up, shifting awkwardly, guilt written all over their faces, but you couldn’t care less about them. You pushed past them, not even bothering to look back as Jay called your name, his voice thick with heartbreak.

"Wait!" he shouted after you, his voice cracking with desperation. "Please, just let me explain—"

But you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. You shoved through the crowd, the tears you had been holding back finally spilling over as you made your way through the courtyard, your heart shattering with each step.

Behind you, you could hear Jay’s friends trying to comfort him, but their voices faded into the background as you walked away, leaving him standing there, devastated and broken. But that wasn’t your concern anymore. Jay had made his choice, and now you were making yours.

You didn’t look back. You couldn’t.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

The news that you and Jay had broken up spread like wildfire, igniting whispers and speculation throughout Hogwarts. By the next day, it seemed like everyone knew, and yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought—it was your pain, your heartache, and no one else could feel the weight of it the way you did.

Your friends rallied around you, their support constant and unwavering. They sat with you at meals, made sure you were never alone in the halls, and listened when you needed to vent. They didn’t press you for details, only offering comfort and reassurance whenever the hurt became too much to bear.

But despite their kindness, there was a part of you that remained hollow, a wound that couldn’t be healed overnight. You’d loved Jay—deeply, unexpectedly, against all your defenses. And now, that love felt like a weight you couldn’t shake, like a burden you carried with you no matter how much you tried to push it down.

You focused on school, throwing yourself into your studies with a renewed intensity. If you could just keep busy, maybe you wouldn’t have to think about him—about how much you missed him, despite everything. You wouldn’t let this break you.

But every once in a while, when you walked past the places you used to sit together, or saw him from across the Great Hall, the hurt would flare up again, raw and painful. It took everything in you not to look back, not to let yourself fall into that sadness that lurked beneath the surface.

Jay, on the other hand, was struggling. The smile that once lit up his face had faded, replaced by a hollow expression that even his closest friends noticed. He hadn’t spoken much to Kieran or Lucas since everything came out—they knew better than to approach him, especially after the guilt of what they’d done. Instead, Jay gravitated toward the friends who had always had his back, like Jungwon.

But even around them, he was different. His usual charm, the confidence that once radiated from him, was gone. He wasn’t cracking jokes like he used to, wasn’t the center of attention like before. He was just… broken.

Everywhere he went, it seemed like there was some reminder of you. The places you used to hang out together, the sound of your laughter still echoing in his mind. He hadn’t expected to care this much. In the beginning, it had been a game—a bet that had spiraled out of control. But somewhere along the way, he had fallen for you. Hard.

Now, every time he saw you, it felt like another knife in his chest. He watched you from a distance, seeing you surrounded by your friends, trying to act like everything was fine. He hated himself for what he’d done, for the hurt he caused. He hated that he’d ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Jungwon would sit with him, trying to pull him out of his thoughts, but it didn’t help. Nothing did. Because all Jay could think about was you—how much he missed you, how much he wished he could turn back time and change everything.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

As the Yule Ball approached, the atmosphere at Hogwarts shifted. Excitement buzzed through the halls, a constant reminder of the impending event. Students adorned their robes in bright colors and practiced their dance moves, whispers of who was going with whom filling the air. You had initially planned to attend with your friends, but as the weeks passed, it became clear that they were all pairing off with their significant others.

One by one, you watched them receive their invitations, see their faces light up, and hear their laughter echoing through the halls. It was bittersweet, a reminder of how alone you felt, especially since your breakup with Jay. As the date drew closer, the thought of being a third wheel began to loom larger in your mind, making you reconsider going at all.

You walked out of Charms class, lost in thought about how to politely decline attending the ball. Maybe you could just stay in your common room with a stack of books, avoid the heartbreak of watching couples dance together while you nursed your own wounds.

But as you rounded the corner, your heart nearly stopped when you came face-to-face with a shy Ravenclaw, his cheeks flushed and his eyes darting nervously to the ground. He was a quiet boy you’d spoken to in passing but never really knew well.

"Um, hey," he stammered, scratching the back of his neck. “I was, uh… wondering if you’d like to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

Time seemed to freeze for a moment as you processed what he was saying. He looked genuinely hopeful yet equally terrified. You could see the way his hands trembled slightly, his expression a mixture of anticipation and fear of rejection. It was sweet, really. And it tugged at something inside you, a flicker of warmth you hadn’t felt in a while.

You hesitated, considering your options. On one hand, you could accept, and it would mean you wouldn’t have to be alone at the ball. But on the other, you weren’t sure if jumping into a date was the best way to move on from everything with Jay. Still, you didn’t want to shut yourself away completely.

After a long moment of silence, you decided that maybe going with someone new could be a step toward healing. “Sure,” you said, forcing a smile that felt slightly wobbly. “I’d love to go with you.”

His face brightened, relief washing over him. “Really? That’s awesome! I’ll, um, get us some butterbeers later to celebrate?”

“Sounds good,” you replied, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement.

As you parted ways, you felt a strange mix of emotions swirling inside you. You knew this wasn’t going to fix everything, but maybe it was a start. A small step forward.

But as you made your way back to the common room, you couldn’t shake the thought of Jay. You wondered how he was handling everything, how he was feeling about the ball. Would he be going? Would he be with someone else, smiling and dancing while you tried to enjoy yourself with a new date?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

The night of the Yule Ball arrived with a flurry of excitement, and you could hardly contain your nerves. You and your friends gathered in your common room, laughter bubbling between you as you helped each other with last-minute touches. You slipped into your beautiful long-sleeved dress, the fabric hugging your figure just right and flaring slightly at the waist. The color complemented your skin tone perfectly, and the matching heels gave you an added height that made you feel more confident.

Your hair was elegantly pinned up, delicate flowers clipped in to add a touch of whimsy. As you applied the finishing touches of makeup, you glanced in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile at your reflection. You felt beautiful, ready for the evening ahead.

“Wow, you look stunning!” one of your friends exclaimed, making you blush.

“Thanks! You guys look amazing, too!” you replied, your excitement building.

Once you were all ready, you made your way out of the common room and down the winding staircase toward the Great Hall.

When you reached the entrance to the Great Hall, you spotted your date, the shy Ravenclaw boy, standing nearby in a sleek dress robe that fit him well. He looked nervous but flashed you a warm smile as he approached.

“You look incredible,” he said, his cheeks reddening slightly as he took your hand, guiding you forward.

“Thank you! You clean up nicely too,” you replied, your heart fluttering with the thrill of the moment.

As you stepped into the hall, the decorations took your breath away. Twinkling lights hung from the ceiling, and the atmosphere was alive with music and laughter. You could see groups of students dancing, chatting, and enjoying themselves, but your gaze was drawn elsewhere.

You scanned the crowd, your heart racing for a different reason now. You were searching for Jay.

You scanned the crowd, your pulse quickening as your eyes searched for him. The hall was alive with the shimmer of enchanted lights, the buzz of conversation, and the sound of music swirling in the background.

Then you saw him.

Jay stood with a group of friends, dressed in a clean, perfectly tailored suit. His hair was slicked back, the usual mess tamed into something more refined, which only made him look even more handsome. He looked every bit the heartthrob he was known to be—confident, sharp, and effortlessly magnetic. But what made your breath hitch was the fact that he was already looking at you.

Your eyes locked, and for a split second, the world around you seemed to blur. There was something intense in the way he looked at you, a softness in his gaze that made your heart skip, but also something else—a tension, a simmering heat. You followed his gaze as it flicked from you to your date, Eli, his eyes darkening just a shade. Was that… jealousy? You wondered, your chest tightening at the thought, the way his jaw clenched, and the subtle flicker of irritation in his eyes when they landed on Eli sent a confusing swirl of emotions through you.

The music shifted, signaling the start of the festivities. The champions were first to take the dance floor, swirling gracefully with their dates. You watched, trying to lose yourself in the celebration, but your mind kept wandering back to the boy standing across the room, who seemed to burn his way into your thoughts.

When the champions' dance came to an end, Eli turned to you, his expression warm and hopeful. “Would you like to dance?” he asked, extending his hand.

You forced a smile, pushing aside the jumble of emotions Jay’s presence had stirred up. “Sure,” you replied, taking his hand.

Eli led you to the dance floor, his grip gentle but firm as he guided you through the steps. The music was beautiful, the lights soft and romantic, and everything around you should have felt perfect. Eli was kind, polite, and sweet. He held you with a respectful distance, his movements smooth and practiced. He was everything you thought you wanted—until now.

Because as you moved through the motions of the dance, something was off. You tried to focus on Eli, on the moment, but your heart wasn’t in it. You looked at him—his bright eyes, his easy smile—and felt a pang of guilt. He didn’t deserve this, because deep down, you knew.

Your heart wasn’t his.

It still beat for someone else. For Jay.

You couldn’t stop yourself from glancing over your shoulder, searching for him again. And there he was, still standing with his friends, his eyes locked on you. But this time, the jealousy was more evident, etched into his expression as he watched you dance with someone else.

The realization hit you hard, like a wave crashing over you. You had tried to move on, to push Jay out of your heart after everything that had happened, but it hadn’t worked. No matter how much you wanted to deny it, your feelings for him hadn’t faded. They were still there, pulsing beneath the surface, undeniable and raw.

Eli spun you around, his hand warm against yours, but your mind was miles away. You couldn’t keep doing this. Not to yourself, and not to Eli.

As the song came to a close, Eli smiled at you, clearly pleased with the dance. But you couldn’t return the smile fully, not when you were so conflicted inside.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

You nodded, but it was a lie. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… thinking.”

He didn’t press, but the disappointment in his eyes was hard to miss. Still, he squeezed your hand, ever the gentleman, and led you back toward the edge of the hall. But as you followed him, your gaze drifted back to Jay once more, your heart aching with the realization of what you really wanted.

The Yule Ball began to shift into a more relaxed atmosphere as the night wore on. The formal dances gave way to a more carefree kind of celebration, with students letting loose and enjoying the music that filled the Great Hall. The tension of the earlier part of the evening dissolved, replaced by laughter and movement as friends grouped together on the dance floor.

You found yourself in the midst of it, surrounded by your friends, swaying to the music and laughing at the jokes they made. For the first time in what felt like ages, you allowed yourself to relax, to let go of all the stress that had been weighing you down.

Your friends were fully immersed in the fun, pulling you into their dances and twirling you around. It was hard not to get caught up in the energy of the moment. You danced without a care, letting the music drown out your thoughts and the laughter of your friends fill your heart.

But as much as you tried to lose yourself in the music, there was still a lingering thought in the back of your mind. Jay. You hadn't seen him for a while now, though you knew he was somewhere in the hall. It was impossible to ignore the way his eyes had followed you earlier, the weight of his gaze like a presence you couldn’t shake.

"Come on, have some fun!" one of your friends called, pulling you back into the moment. You smiled, pushing thoughts of Jay aside, at least for now.

You twirled around, your dress spinning with you as the music grew louder, the crowd of students around you caught up in the same carefree energy. For a while, it was easy to get lost in the atmosphere, to let the magic of the night sweep you away. You laughed, feeling lighter than you had in days, maybe even weeks.

The music thumped softly in the background as you spun one last time with your friends, a wide smile plastered on your face. The night had been more fun than you'd anticipated, and for a while, you had managed to forget everything that had been weighing on you. But after hours of dancing, you began to feel the tiredness creep in, your feet aching in your heels, and a faint dizziness from all the excitement.

You laughed, out of breath, and excused yourself from the group. “I need a break,” you said, flashing a sheepish grin. They waved you off with good-natured cheers, still caught up in their own fun.

Eli, your date for the night, noticed you leaving and approached you before you could disappear. You offered him a smile as he walked up, looking as polished as ever in his sleek robes.

“Hey, Eli," you began, your voice soft, "I just wanted to say I really appreciate you asking me tonight. It meant a lot, especially with everything going on—”

But Eli stopped you with a gentle hand raised. He smiled, though there was a touch of sadness in his eyes. “You don’t need to explain. I understand.”

You hesitated, feeling a flicker of guilt. “Eli, I—"

“It’s okay,” he said kindly, cutting you off again. “You’ve been through a lot, and I don’t blame you for still having feelings for him. You don’t need to apologize or explain yourself.”

His words were a relief, but they also made your heart ache a little. He had been so thoughtful and understanding throughout the night, and you had hoped you wouldn’t hurt him.

“Thank you,” you murmured. “For everything.”

He smiled again, the weight of understanding hanging between you. "Go on, then," he said, giving you a small, encouraging nudge. "Take the night for yourself."

With one last grateful nod, you left the Great Hall, the sound of music and laughter fading behind you as you made your way down the dimly lit corridors. The stone walls echoed softly with the distant noise of the celebration as you wandered further from the hall, needing space to breathe, to think.

Eventually, you found yourself in the courtyard. The cool night breeze washed over you, a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the packed hall. You inhaled deeply, letting the crisp air fill your lungs, and walked over to the fountain at the center of the courtyard.

You sat down by the edge of the fountain, taking a moment to collect yourself. Your fingers found their way to your hair, gently undoing the intricate updo your friends had helped you with. One by one, the flowers they had carefully clipped into your hair began to fall into your lap. You plucked them from the strands, watching as they floated in the water, drifting lazily across the surface of the fountain.

There was something calming about watching the flowers drift, their colors bright against the dark water.

As you sat there, you allowed your mind to wander back to the ball, back to Jay. You had seen the way he had looked at you, the jealousy, the regret—his emotions had been written all over his face. And in that brief moment when your eyes had met, something inside you shifted. You couldn’t deny it anymore. You had feelings for him, strong feelings that hadn’t gone away, no matter how hard you had tried to push them aside.

A part of you still hurt, still felt the sting of betrayal from what had happened. But another part of you—one that you were only now starting to fully acknowledge—wanted to fix things, to give him, and maybe even yourself, another chance.

You stared at the water, the ripples distorting the reflection of the stars overhead, and wondered what your next step would be.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Jay had just returned to the Grand Hall after a brief escape to the bathroom, hoping to clear his head and settle his nerves. The night had been overwhelming, seeing you with someone else and feeling the regret gnawing at his insides. As he re-entered the hall, his eyes immediately scanned the room, searching for you in the sea of dancing students.

But you weren’t there. His eyes darted between groups of people, hoping to catch a glimpse of your dress or your hair, but no luck. His heart sank. He quickly looked for your friends, figuring you’d be with them, but they were too deep in the crowd, completely absorbed in the festivities. A frustrated sigh left him as he slumped back into a chair by the side of the hall.

"Where is she?" he muttered under his breath, his mind racing with thoughts of what could have happened, why you had suddenly disappeared from the hall.

Jungwon sat beside him, quietly observing Jay’s anxious behavior for a moment before speaking. “She’s in the courtyard," he said, his voice calm but knowing.

Jay turned to him, surprise and gratitude crossing his features all at once. "Alone?" he asked, his heart pounding faster now.

Jungwon nodded. "Yeah. She seemed like she needed some space, but if I were you, I'd go talk to her. Now’s your chance."

Without a second thought, Jay pushed himself out of his chair and headed towards the courtyard. He didn’t stop to think about what he was going to say or how he’d explain himself. All that mattered was that you were out there, alone, and he needed to see you, to fix what had been broken.

When he reached the entrance to the courtyard, he saw you sitting by the fountain, your back to him, your head slightly bowed as you released the last few flowers from your hair into the water. The soft light of the moon bathed you in a pale glow, making you look almost ethereal. For a moment, he stood frozen, just watching you.

You looked so peaceful, but at the same time, he could sense the weight you were carrying, the conflict inside you. It pained him to know he had been the cause of it.

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Jay slowly walked towards you. The night air was cool, but he barely felt it—his focus was entirely on you. When he got close enough, he spoke softly, not wanting to startle you.

"Hey," he said, his voice gentle, almost hesitant.

You turned your head slightly at the sound of his voice, your gaze meeting his. For a moment, neither of you spoke. There was a tension in the air, thick with unspoken words and emotions. You could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the regret etched in his expression.

“I... I was looking for you,” Jay admitted, stepping closer. His eyes flickered to the fountain where the flowers floated gently on the water, then back to you.

You sighed softly, your fingers playing with the edge of your dress. “I just needed some air. It was getting too much inside.”

Jay swallowed hard, nodding. He hesitated, unsure of how to begin, how to explain the whirlwind of feelings inside him. "I get it. The ball... everything, it’s a lot."

There was a pause, the air between you heavy with all the things left unsaid. You turned back to the fountain, staring at the drifting flowers, your mind a storm of thoughts. But Jay couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“I never wanted things to end the way they did,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. “I messed up, and I know I hurt you. But I never meant for any of it to happen like this. I didn’t expect… well, I didn’t expect to feel the way I do about you.”

You glanced at him, your eyes soft but still guarded. “And how is that, Jay? How do you feel about me now?”

He ran a hand through his hair, his voice shaking with honesty. “I’m in love with you.”

You stared at him for a moment, his words lingering in the cool night air. It was a confession that you had never expected to hear from him, not after everything that had happened.

Your heart raced as you took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. Could you do this? Could you let him in again, knowing what had happened?

“I…” You paused, your eyes flickering down to the flowers still floating in the fountain. “I love you too, Jay.”

The words spilled from your lips softly but with a certainty that surprised even you. The weight that had been pressing down on your chest for weeks seemed to lift, leaving a lightness in its wake. You had been holding onto this truth for too long, trying to deny it, but it was always there, waiting for you to acknowledge it.

Jay’s eyes widened in disbelief, a slow smile spreading across his face as he stepped closer. “You… you do?”

You nodded, finally looking up to meet his gaze. “I do. I was angry at you—hurt—but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I tried to push it away, but it’s still there.”

Jay exhaled deeply, relief flooding his features. His happiness was so palpable that it warmed you from the inside. “I didn’t think I’d hear that from you again,” he admitted, sitting down beside you on the edge of the fountain. His knee brushed against yours, sending a familiar warmth through you.

There was a comfortable silence as you both sat there, processing the moment. Jay turned to you, his expression softening. “I need to tell you something. I never wanted to hurt you with the bet. It started as something stupid, something I didn’t even care about, but when I got to know you, really know you…” His voice faltered as he swallowed hard. “Everything changed. You changed everything for me.”

You gave him a small, understanding smile. “I know,” you said quietly.

Jay blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Jungwon. He told me before the ball. He said that you never meant for it to get so far, that you didn���t want to hurt me, and he thought I should know the truth from someone else before making any decisions.”

Jay’s eyebrows shot up. “Jungwon told you?”

You laughed lightly, the sound easing some of the tension between you. “Yeah, he did. He’s more observant than you give him credit for.”

Jay let out a short laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe that little sneak.”

You smiled warmly, feeling a sense of comfort that you hadn’t felt in a long time. “He told me what you said to him—that you realized you had real feelings for me. That you didn’t want to lose me over a stupid bet.”

Jay's expression softened. “I didn’t. I really didn’t want to lose you.”

“I know, Jay,” you said, your voice gentle. “And that’s why I didn’t walk away forever. I was hurt, but… I knew you didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

Jay reached out, his hand brushing against yours. His fingers curled around yours, and you didn’t pull away. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “For all of it. I should have been honest from the start.”

You gave his hand a soft squeeze, feeling the sincerity in his words. “I know you are. But let’s not dwell on it, okay? We’re here now. That’s what matters.”

Jay’s eyes shimmered with gratitude as he smiled at you, his thumb gently tracing the back of your hand. “I don’t deserve you.”

You laughed, the sound light and genuine. “Maybe not, but you’ve got me anyway.”

His smile widened, and for the first time in weeks, you felt like everything was going to be okay. The hurt, the confusion—it was all fading away, replaced by something stronger, something more real.

“I love you,” Jay said again, his voice filled with warmth. “And I’ll spend every day proving it to you, if you’ll let me.”

You looked at him, your heart swelling with affection. “I love you too, Jay.”

As you gazed up at the sky, the stars twinkling like distant diamonds, you felt a sense of peace. You felt… whole.

But as you marveled at the beauty above, you didn’t notice that Jay was watching you instead of the stars. His eyes were soft, full of something deep and unspoken. He wasn’t in awe of the night sky—he was in awe of you.

Without saying a word, Jay reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand, his gaze never leaving your face. With a flick of his wrist and a subtle murmur, he cast a spell. You were so lost in thought that it wasn’t until you noticed movement from the corner of your eye that you looked down.

The flowers that had been floating serenely in the fountain began to rise, swirling around you like petals caught in a gentle breeze. Your eyes widened in surprise as the flowers danced gracefully through the air, forming intricate patterns before slowly weaving themselves into a crown.

Before you could fully process what was happening, the delicate crown of flowers gently settled onto your head. Your fingers instinctively reached up to touch it, feeling the softness of the petals against your skin. You looked at Jay, your mouth slightly parted in shock.

He was smiling at you—his signature smile, the one that always had a way of making your heart flutter. There was something different in his expression now though, something tender and full of emotion. He had never looked at you like this before.

“Jay…” you whispered, still a bit stunned by the beautiful gesture.

He slid closer to you, the space between you disappearing in an instant. His voice was low, almost reverent when he spoke. “You look even more beautiful now,” he said, his eyes flicking up to the crown before returning to yours. “But to me, you always are.”

You felt a warmth spread through your chest, your earlier surprise melting into a soft smile. “That was… really sweet.”

He reached out and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers brushing against your cheek. “I meant every bit of it.”

Your breath caught in your throat at the closeness, the intensity of the moment settling between you like a charged current. His touch lingered, and you could feel the soft rhythm of his breathing as his gaze fell to your lips. He wasn’t rushing, just savoring the quiet, the connection that had always been there.

The stars sparkled overhead, but it was nothing compared to the way Jay was looking at you now, like you were his entire world.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you closed the distance between you. You could feel the heat radiating from him, the thrum of anticipation humming in the air as his lips inched closer to yours.

And then, without another word, his lips met yours in a kiss that was soft, tender, and full of everything unspoken between you. It was a kiss that erased the past, the hurt, and the misunderstandings, replacing them with something deeper. Something real.

The soft kiss between you and Jay slowly deepened, the tenderness giving way to a quiet urgency. His hands, which had been resting gently on your waist, tightened slightly, pulling you closer. You could feel the warmth of his body against yours, and it only made the moment more intoxicating.

Just as you thought things couldn't get more intense, Jay shifted, his arms wrapping securely around you as he gently lifted you up and placed you on his lap. The sudden movement caught you off guard, and you let out a squeal of surprise followed by a burst of giggles. Jay chuckled along with you, his forehead resting against yours as he peppered your lips and face with a series of playful, teasing kisses.

"Jay!" you giggled, your laughter echoing softly through the courtyard.

He grinned, his lips brushing over yours again before moving to the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, not missing a beat. “What? Can’t help it. You look too cute when you laugh,” he teased, his voice warm and full of affection.

You couldn’t help but smile wider as his kisses continued, your hands gripping the front of his shirt to steady yourself. For a moment, you were both lost in the playfulness of it all, the earlier tension replaced with something light and free. The sound of your shared laughter mingled with the night air, making it feel like you two were the only ones in the world.

When he finally paused to look at you, you noticed the smudges of your lipstick now staining his lips. “Jay…” you said, biting your lip to stop from laughing again. “You’ve got my lipstick all over you.”

“So?” he shrugged casually, still holding you close. “I don’t care.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head in disbelief. “You’re impossible.”

Jay grinned, his hands resting on your hips as he pulled you in for another kiss, completely unbothered by the lipstick now marking his face. “Yeah, but you love it,” he murmured against your lips, his voice a mix of teasing and sincerity.

You couldn’t argue with that. Your heart swelled as you kissed him again, deeper this time, more passionately. His fingers trailed up your leg, sending shivers through you as the kiss became more intense. You felt him smile against your lips again as his hands steadied you on his lap.

Your breath came in short, heated gasps when you finally pulled back, only for Jay to tilt his head, catching your lips again as if he couldn’t bear to be away from you even for a second. “More,” he whispered in a hushed voice, his lips barely leaving yours as he spoke.

You let out a soft laugh, your hands now gently running through his hair, pulling him even closer. “More?” you repeated, your voice light with amusement.

“Yeah,” Jay whispered again, his breathing heavy, eyes half-lidded as he gazed at you. “More.”

After what felt like an eternity of kissing, you finally pulled back with a soft laugh, your fingers tracing the faint lipstick marks that still stained Jay's lips. “Okay, okay,” you said breathlessly, gently cupping his face. “You need to wipe this off.”

Jay chuckled, his hands reluctantly loosening their grip on you. “Fine, if it bothers you that much.” He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his lips with an exaggerated motion, making you laugh again.

“Much better,” you teased, sliding off his lap with a soft smile. As your feet touched the ground, you smoothed out your dress, adjusting the fabric over your legs. You felt the cool night air once again, and without warning, a shiver ran through your body.

Before you could even react, Jay was already moving. In one swift motion, he pulled off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, the warmth of it instantly enveloping you. “Here,” he murmured, his voice gentle, “don’t want you to get cold.”

You smiled up at him, touched by his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Jay.”

He shrugged as if it were nothing, but the small smile that tugged at his lips told you he was happy to help. “Anything for you.”

With his jacket snug around you, Jay slid his arm around your waist, pulling you close as the two of you made your way back toward the grand hall. The night air still carried a faint chill, but with Jay’s warmth by your side, you hardly noticed it. You leaned into him, resting your head lightly on his shoulder, and he welcomed you into his embrace without hesitation.

When you both stepped back into the grand hall, the atmosphere had shifted. The music was softer now, and there were far fewer people on the dance floor. Many of the students had already retired for the night, leaving only a handful still swaying to the music or talking quietly at their tables.

You glanced around, noticing that your friends were nowhere to be seen, but instead of feeling worried or out of place, you felt a sense of peace. It was like the world had shrunk to just you and Jay.

Leaning further into his side, you sighed softly. Jay’s arm tightened around you as he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and comforting.

“Yeah,” you replied, looking up at him. “I’m perfect.”

As the two of you stood together in the quiet grand hall, Jay turned to you, his eyes soft and full of affection. “Do you want to dance?” he asked gently, his hand already extending toward you.

You glanced around the hall, noticing how the crowd had thinned even further, the music slow and sweet in the background. It was the perfect moment, and you knew it. With a small smile, you nodded, slipping your hand into his. “I’d love to.”

Jay’s face lit up, and he led you to the center of the dance floor. His hands found their way to your waist as you rested yours on his shoulders. The two of you moved together slowly, swaying to the rhythm of the soft music. His touch was gentle, and there was a tenderness in the way he held you, as if he was still savoring the fact that you were back in his arms.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Jay murmured, his eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t think I’ve told you that enough.”

Your heart fluttered, and you leaned closer to him, resting your head against his chest. “I think you’ve made up for it,” you teased softly.

Jay’s grip on your waist tightened slightly, pulling you closer as he rested his cheek against the top of your head. “I’m so glad I have you back,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the music.

You smiled, your eyes closing as you savored the warmth of his embrace. “Me too, Jay.”

(´ 3｀)

a/n: Jungwon is next! Then Sunoo, Sunghoon and Heeseung!

[eeboyysworld]

Hello! Hope you're having a nice day. If you're taking requests, could i ask for Dae-Ho x male reader? Thank you! :)

“ I know you wanna kiss me-“

—⋆. 𐙚⋆.˚

Genre: Smut

Kang Dae-ho X Male!Reader

Cautions/Warnings: Praise kink, Enemies to (not) lovers, Teasing, Hair pulling, hand job, Dae-ho pops a boner and you’re the most decent person to help.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Pain swirled inside your ankle, a purple mark forming there. You just had to twist it , didn’t you.

the previous game left a huge mark on you, a large turning compartment in the middle of the room.

Mingle, that’s what it was called.

People fighting for their life’s, shoving and pushing innocent (or not) people into the ground, that includes you. Getting slammed to the hard ground froze you on the spot, the pain coming in waves.

You would had died. If it wasn’t for the man , whom you had bothered the past days of being in this hell hole, saved you.

Getting out of his own way to drag your limp body into the blood covered room.

Dae-ho, Cheery despite the situation, cracking jokes but remains serious when needed. You didn’t know him outside these games, but being divided into two groups, ‘x and o’ , you had no choice but to dislike them.

You voted to stay inside the games, the debt and reality of the outside world crashing down on you. It was stupid , voting for your own death.

You had every reason to thank him endlessly for giving you another chance at life, bowing towards him.

Despite the brawls the two of you got in, he shook the past aside , reassuring that ‘you would do the same for him.’

———

The bed you resided on was comfortable enough to rest on, the metal underneath the thin material digging into you.

The state your foot was left in wasn’t half bad , considering it had been a couple hours since then.

The bruise still contrast to your skin.

Rice mushing around your mouth, the flavour dull as you could taste the fork more than the food.

Swashing it down with a bottle of milk.

Your bottom became sore after sitting on it for the past hours , during the time passing you had been accept into this little group.

Diverse people combined into one alliance, to stop the games. The new faces marking a memory in your head.

A few of them offering their bread and milk towards you and another young girl.

Flustered under their gazes, smiling accepting the offer with a thanks.

Sluggishly nibbling the crust, zoning in and out of conversations. You tried your best to not get attached to them, dreadfully knowing sooner or later you’ll all die.

Despite the Traumatic scenes that unfolded Infront of all of you, one person lifted the mood.

The smiling marine kept making advances towards you, keeping you company.It was sweet, the two of you talking about the past and hopes for whatever future you could get.

Guilt crept at you, apologizing for the harm you caused.

“This place can make a person crazy.” Patting your upper thigh as he spoke,” I don’t blame you, we were on different sides only trying to survive.” His gaze felt heavy, lowering your own head, attention drifting to the ,used to be, white shoes.

“If I could..” stammering the words out,” In any way- I would repay you.” Your leg involuntary bouncing.

He paid no response, staring off into the distance, eyes glinting with uncertainty.

The silence between you guys hadn’t flatter, even with the voices and shouts in the background.

You guys sat like that until an announcement rang, lights dimming as the hallway lights shined through, casting a glow just enough to navigate.

Having the need to stay up, you accepted the challenge of fighting sleep to keep watch. Nestling yourself in between two bunk beds.

The night rolling on , countless snores and conversations could be heard.

An hour in of keeping guard, flinching when a hand slapped your shoulder, suddenly becoming aware of your surroundings.

Dramatically exhaling as the familiar face appeared before you. “Ah..you scared me.”

A nervous chuckle left him, slotting himself beside you. He felt off, energy leeching off of him.

You had notice the way he slumped, eyes twitching to get a glimpse of you, fingers digging into his pants.

Neither of you spoke, stealing ‘risky’ glances towards each other. It went on like that , before he finally got the courage to voice his thoughts.

“I .. have a problem..” concern adorned you, had he been hurt last game? , whispering your question.

Getting a shake of a head left you wondering what happened. “I was just thinking..you were the only one who could help.”

Biting his lip, gulping as he muttered.

Barely hearing it, kindly asking him to speak up a bit.

Locking his eyes onto you, “ It’s.. uhm-“ cutting himself off, licking his lips as a habit.

Letting the quietness settle before speaking, “ D-down..theree.” Dragging the ‘e’ to a halt.

Huh.. taking a peak downwards, curiosity getting the better of you. Eyes slightly widening, catching the bulge between his legs. Wow.

Now..what would a rational person do in this situation. Kindly turn down the offer. But you were not rational.

Turning your body to the side, bringing your gaze to his face, making eye contact.

It had suddenly become too hot in this place. Feeling your face tingling from his attention.

“Oh..” there was practically butterflies swooning inside you, he wants you to help him.

He was quick to apologize for making you uncomfortable, steadily getting up, bowing towards you. He knew he shouldn’t have asked..

But before he could get away , a hand grabbed onto his loose shirt, pulling the other closer to you.

The feeling of arousal pooling inside you, whispering so that no one but you two could hear.

“I would love to help you.” Was it the fact you pitted him for popping a boner out of all places, maybe , he was rather cute, a perfect face to be ruined by you.

He was shocked to say the least, trying to regain composure only to be pushed to the bed farthest away.

You kept on your feet , despite just recovering from the injury you endured,while he was seated.

Greedy hands exploring his body, flushed face inches away from you. He was so close to your lips he can feel your breath.

It was awkward in the moment, as he never was this close to you, he shyly thanked you for doing this for him.

You could only smile, the soft lights shining both of you, silhouettes dancing on the walls.

muttering , “I told you I would repay you..” eyes wandering across his face, noticing every detail you could drink up.

Becoming shy under such gaze, the other melted into the comfort of the bed.

Trailing your hands downwards, ruffling the stained tracksuit. Your body moving with your hands, dropping to your knees.

The soft thud bouncing off the arena, the rough floor digging into the your flesh.

He was like jelly under your touch, folding as skilled hands gripped his waist, every touch riling him up more.

Breathe fawning his clothed bulge, it was like you were examining him. He peered at you, mouth agape.

He nearly yelped as you lunged frontwards, throwing his palm to silence the sounds.

You sat there knees spread slightly aprat, mouthing the fabric, saliva seeping through the material, the warm wetness lubricating himself.

His other hand shakily made its way to your head, softly resting on the head of hair. You didn’t want it just sitting there.

Roughly grabbing his fingers to thread the locks, swapping your tongue out to cause a reaction out of him, the sensation made his fingers grip.

Muffled apologies hidden behind his palm, neck tense from how he contained himself.

You continued to torment the poor guy, keeping his junk in his pants. He was frustrated and sensitive to the touch.

Mouth kept working towards him, pants dark from the amount of spit on it, outlining his length.

He couldn’t even do anything about it, he couldn’t scream and beg you to touch him, that would end bad.

Left to squirm and whine in his seat.

After you felt decent about your work, pulling yourself away, admiring him.

“Try to be quiet, ay?” It was a statement, you couldn’t have him moaning into the air, not when you knew the other people now.

Shoving your hand into the tracksuit, slipping through the others boxers,

Feeling the pre-cum drip down along with your spit, creating the perfect natural lube.

Steadily dragging downwards and up, purring sweet nothings, “ Aw, hold on a little longer..” slipping up and down, fastening the pace. “You’re doing so good for me.”

Your words went straight to his head, not the one on-top his shoulders.

The hand he chose to mouth on had a red mark, the other settled into your locks of hair, tightening and letting loose.

Sounds of desperation could be heard if someone listened too intently.

It was too much , the soft padding of your hand left him a mess. You kept reducing the speed before fastening it up, the stimulation was overbearing.

Finger playing with his angry tip, the touch as light as a feather, yet it had him stuttering. “Mm- m-more..”

He was heavy in your hand, was practically throbbing.

“ You deserve it ..don’t you?” You were playing with him, watching the desperate head nods.

Continuing to stoke him, leading him to Chase his high , thrusting into your hand.

Bed ever so slightly squeaking with the weight of his body moving up and down.

You let him rut into you like a dog, his hair tie loosening up, hair pieces flowing out.

You let him rock his hips in your hold, only choosing to add pressure back and forth.

Dick twitching, incoherent words stammering into the air. “Please.. I’m so c-close..”

Taking pity, you began to move with him, lining the timing perfectly.

He basically humped your hand, gripping your hair , moving you along with him. Letting him to use your body.

His stomach held a pit that kept growing, throwing his head backwards, biting his hand to keep silent.

The body movement he made told you he was close, moving your hand the fastest you can, the sounds encouraging you onward.

He spoke your name like a prayer, face flushed with the amount of heat he felt, the urge to just say fuck it and throw you onto the bed.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t wanna do that, despite all the people. Images flashed through him, he didn’t think he could imagine such things.

Your mouth on him as he fucked your face, he would be the one setting the pace, not you.

He could feel himself twitch.

Breathe ragged as he let himself spill into you, pulsing in your hand, body becoming limp in the hold.

Sitting there before slowly moving, long breaths leaving him.

The feeling of your hand leaving, taking the warmth with you. He whimpered from lost of contact like a kicked puppy.

Instead of wiping the evidence away, you decided to lick at it, swirling the liquid away into your warm mouth.

He was left agape , eyes focused on the way your tongue came out to lap it up, head tilted towards him, fluttering your eyes at him.

That’s one way to get rid of it.

The saltiness was bittersweet.

Latching off with a pop, moving to your feet, legs sore from sitting down. Guiding the other into you, lips finding his.

Nipping at him, slotting your tongue inside , letting the taste of bitterness sweep all over.

Moans vibrated through the both of you, hands finding what it can to ground into.

A shout had you yanking away, fearing you had hurt the other man.

“I didn’t see anything.” Slowly turning to the side, making eye contact you didn’t want to make with the most nonchalant man you ever met.

Greeting him with a ,”Good morning Young-il..”

You didn’t expect that scream to lead to that face.

———

I did not finish this when i said i would ❤️

[blacktabbygames]

The amount of art in STP and Scarlet Hollow is positively staggering, in my opinion, and puts even the non-indie visual novels that I've played to shame. I hope you don't mind my asking, but have you ever sat down and tried to figure out how much it would have cost to pay someone else to do the art for these games if neither of you could draw?

Thank you! I don't think it's fully quantifiable for a number of reasons. In particular, Abby's contributions as a writer inform how she approaches her art in a way that would be difficult to capture if we were hiring a third party to just do art.

From my understanding, most visual novels that hire out their art work also hire different artists for backgrounds and sprites, which wouldn't work with the style/presentation of our games, where the sprites are drawn on top of backgrounds using tracing paper, allowing our characters to interact more organically with the world. Assuming those two points are non-issues, though, and assuming a general advanced-career rate of ~$500 per background and ~$100 per unique pose, and $10 per variant of a pre-existing sprite... Scarlet Hollow (so far): ~$600,000 Slay the Princess: ~$250,000 for the base game, ~$150,000 for the Pristine Cut (so ~$400,000 total)

It's worth noting that Slay the Princess, which is done on smaller paper and only in pencils (instead of pencils + inks + full digital color) is less labor intensive per asset than Scarlet Hollow, but for the sake of simplicity, I'm not assigning a different cost to those assets. Possibly still low-balling things here, and again, there's so much to Abby's art that's unquantifiable in this area. But that's the napkin math.

She's also a *mindbogglingly* fast artist. I want to say she managed to do all of the art of the original release of Slay the Princess (hundreds of backgrounds, over 2,000 sprites) in about six months? I'd have to imagine that work over that time frame would usually require something like 5 artists, which then adds further challenges around stylistic cohesion.

[venussaidso]

Sun Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 1) 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟔

Understanding why planets exalt in certain nakshatras, and houses, will give you an even better foundation for all nakshatra lords. For example, Venus loves being in Revati because this is where it can be unrestricted and as flourishing in its themes as it desires to be, since Revati is peak freedom and transcendence; Ketu loves being in Jyestha because this Scorpio nakshatra continuously releases so much heat which allows Ketu to function at its highest level; and Sun is its best version when it is in Ashwini, because this Aries nakshatra allows the Sun to be as hyper-independent and selfish as it desires to be, and Ashwini being co-ruled by Ketu helps one attract resources to further advance oneself — a theme I am seeing in all the Sun nakshatras.

The symbol of Krittika nakshatra is a sharp knife, and its deity is the fire god, Agni. This emphasizes the heat in Krittika which is connected to its transformative nature. This is seen in the refinement of blades, where the beginning stages involve forging – the process of heating and shaping of the metal – and then heat treating. Resources are used with precision in Krittika, anything unnecessary being cut away as resources are channelled with focus so that one rises to the top. The ruling deity of Uttara Phalguni nakshatra is Aryaman, the guardian of social contracts and hospitality. Aryaman is a solar deity, giving more emphasis to the life-giving heat and brightness of this Sun nakshatra. With Uttara Phalguni, resources are built and sustained through agreements, partnerships and community. Creating mutual connections and valuing generosity will lead to later pleasures, as this nakshatra is symbolized by the back legs of a cot and the word Uttara in Sanskrit can mean "latter," "subsequent," or "final." Uttara Ashada is ruled by the Vishwadevas, the universal gods, this indicating the superior, hyper-independence and highly resourceful nature of this nakshatra. This enables mastery in resource mobilization and strategic planning.

Uttara Ashada Sun Orlando Bloom portrays the character Will Turner in Pirates of the Carribean, who starts out as an accomplished blacksmith by trade – his fantastic swordsmanship a product of his work with tangible resources like metal and tools, demonstrating his ability to make effective use of his environment.

The agency of the self and one's independence is due to the aftermath of the Ugra nakshatras having purged away impurities, propelling Sun nakshatras to focus on one's inner solar light to align with their material plane. This is interestingly explored in films through the so-called "American Dream".

The "American Dream" refers to the belief that anyone, regardless of their socio-economic status and background, can achieve their dreams and make a better life for themselves in a society where upward mobility is accessible to all. The core ideals of this belief are explored in the film The Pursuit of Happyness, starring Uttara Phalguni Sun Will Smith who plays a struggling salesman rising from poverty to attaining professional success as a stockbroker — his character being driven by persistent effort, ambition, and belief in upward mobility.

The theme of the human spirit's resilience in the pursuit of personal dreams is also seen in the film Forrest Gump, starring Uttara Phalguni ASC Tom Hanks who plays a low IQ man who goes through many challenges and still never gave up on his dreams.

Sun nakshatras are more commonly associated with strong themes of ambition, leadership and success.

Aja Naomi King has Uttara Ashada Sun and Uttara Phalguni Moon, making her a dominant fire rashi native. She portrays the character Michaela Pratt in How To Get Away With Murder. She is a young woman who is an ambitious overachiever, possessing an intense fire in her and is relentless in chasing after her goals with focused determination.

The character Paris Geller from Gilmore Girls, portrayed by Uttara Ashada Moon native Liza Weil, is known for her relentless ambition, being an aggressive perfectionist, and possessing a fear of failure which mirrors Michaela Pratt’s personality, often the cause of her clashing with others.

Sun natives are able to sacrifice and delay gratification for their goals. The elephant tusk of Uttara Ashada represents enduring strength, the nakshatra also being in the first section of the Capricorn rashi (Saturn supporting themes of endurance and delays). Uttara Phalguni's symbol is a bed or hammock, which represents the rest after hard work and generosity, completing the journey from Purva Phalguni in this final stage. And Krittika being the blade, or razor, signifies it as a cutting force able to slice through obstacles, fuelled by a desire to execute excellence.

Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood exemplifies the darker, more ruthless and capitalistic side of this "American Dream" — operating more Ketuvian as he is portrayed by Ashwini Moon native Daniel Day Lewis, drawing parallels with Ashwini Moon Christian Bale in American Psycho (further emphasizing why the Sun exalts in Ashwini, as Ashwini possesses this pure, ungovernable and all-consuming masculine energy which can become self-building).

The book Oil! follows the son of an independent oilman who initially idolizes his father's rise to power which has a rags-to-riches quality to it. The book highlights the nefarious strategies that oilmen employ through the main character's sympathy towards the underdog people (oilfield workers), a solar theme which will support further points I'll be touching on. But this corruption of the self from accumulating so much intoxicating power is definitely the darker side of Sun nakshatras.

The character Plainview uses oil as a lucrative resource and leverages it to build his empire, also coming from humble beginnings. He embodies this 'self-made', hyper-independent archetype in which hard work highlights one's determination and ability to turn opportunities into wealth. But the writer of the film, and the author of the novel Oil!, shine light on the emptiness and loneliness of this accumulation.

In the story, The Great Gatsby, the character Jay Gatsby initially comes from a poor background, and he meets a high-status woman who he falls in love with. She becomes one of the reasons for his drive, shaping his desire to escape poverty and become successful.

Uttara Phalguni's ability to outwardly evolve to positions of power and have access to things which are symbolic of pleasure and luxury emphasizes the inward radiance and resilience they possess to overcome challenges.

There is a Solar archetype which possesses a type of independence and a resourcefulness that doesn't translate into dominance, but rather into strictly following one's own path of righteousness — remaining strong willed no matter the people one is surrounded by. And there is a level of generosity and duty to this archetype, as Surya, the Hindu Sun god, embodies Dharma (which is related to duty, righteousness and upholding truth).

Will Turner fully embodies this archetype. Even when he's surrounded by pirates, and learns of his familial background of piracy, he stubbornly sticks to what he believes is right. His character has consistently been a strong moral compass in the franchise, upholding righteousness and truth — pointing to the higher leadership and moral integrity important in Uttara Ashada, as this nakshatra is ruled by the Vishwadevas, who are believed to reward those who follow moral principles and righteous paths.

Being burdened with so much duty, Surya (the Sun god) has to endure distant relationships with his close familial bonds. Will Turner mirrors this exactly, his duty as the Captain of the Flying Dutchman (a powerful evolution of his character as he initially started as a humble blacksmith) binds him to a duty higher than his mortal life. Because of this, he could only see his son and wife every once a decade, much like how Surya cannot be close to his sons and spouses.

A lot of sacrifices that they endure include cutting away human attachments, although this archetype is moreso explored from the hyper-independent lens in Claire Nakti's Sun Dominant Men video, as they voluntarily become absent fathers/deadbeats from their inherent selfishness — very much opposing the ideals of many Sun gods, but a correct negative manifestation nonetheless.

All Sun gods support this solar archetype of justice, leadership and source of nourishment. Helio, in Greek mythology, personifies the Sun, bringing light to the world, also regarded as the god of sight. Surya is a source of vitality and justice. Ran, the Egyptian Sun god, serves as a great protector, encompassing intense sun rays which ward off evil.

Characters which embody this protective, superior force are often played by Ketu and Sun nakshatra natives (and as Ketu nakshatras are seen as dominant forces in nature, we see how Sun nakshatras adapt in isolation, and become dominant as well, using tools and resources to remain resilient). Claire Nakti already explored this with Mula's connection to Hercules, while I connect the nakshatra Uttara Ashada to characters such as Robin Hood & Tarzan. Just as the Sun gods symbolize a life-giving energy which keeps stability in the universe, George of the Jungle and Tarzan are characters who both protect the jungle and its inhabitants from poachers and other humans with bad intentions — their presence alone warding off evil. Both characters serve as guardians to ensure harmony in the jungle.

The elephant tusk (of Uttara Ashada) often signifies, in many cultures, the protection of wildlife, especially from those who want to exploit and dominate nature. It also symbolizes a tool for survival, and it is associated with higher stature and power. This theme of one being the source of life and resources is seen in Robin Hood, a character which has Uttara Ashada influence. Robin Hood is known for safeguarding the well-being of his community, ensuring that their nourishment and dignity is preserved as he distributes wealth from the rich to the poor.

The bridge between Purva Ashada and Uttara Ashada could be represented by the purpose of Sagittarius — the archer aiming straight for victory. Uttara Ashada can be the release of the arrow, the culmination of focus to execute the final victory, as its stars lie close and pointing to the Galactic Center (signifying the bullseye). Uttara Ashada carries the final stage of the archer's triumph, embodying this legacy after the swift release of the arrow.

Much like Tarzan and George, Robin Hood lives in nature. Sun makes one completely self-sufficient, free from societal and religious roots which holds one back from finding their true essence. And the forest or woods represent a place one can explore their true selves and burn away what's false. The dominance of the Sun is seen in these characters' ability to comfortably live in such a place full of hidden threats like wild animals, bandits, or poachers. While for Ketu this theme signifies their huntress and taming power over the wild, for Sun it signifies their radical freedom and adaptability. Living in the forest, Robin Hood represents the figure of the outsider.

In the 2011 film Red Riding Hood, the character Peter is a woodcutter who embodies the archetype of the lone wolf. He is portrayed by Krittika Moon & Uttara Ashada ASC native Shiloh Fernandez. He knows the forest very well, and is often associated with the pure, wild aspects of it. He is very much like George of the Jungle, in that his love interest is also played by a Magha native, which I found this Sun-Ketu association very interesting.

His free nature and rough exterior (representative of his authenticity, making him a misfit in society) is what misleads the viewers into thinking that he is the werewolf that's been killing the townsfolk, but the truly animalistic and consuming force of the story is the character played by Ashwini Moon Billy Burke.

This lone wolf archetype supports their ability in being resourceful within their surroundings, often seen in survival stories in which the Solar native is stranded and is literally isolated from civilization.

Blue Lagoon (1980) is a survival film about two children living on an island after a shipwreck. Krittika Moon Christopher Atkins plays Richard, who becomes deeply attuned to the rhythms of the island, learning how to make use of the natural resources for their survival.

In the film Mad Max: Fury Road, Uttara Phalguni Sun Tom Hardy embodies this lone wolf archetype through the character Max. The story has a hyper-patriarchal system which is built around the hoarding of resources and exploitation of others. Max is completely removed from this society, prioritizing his own survival and maintaining his autonomy above all else.

His detachment makes him representative of someone who can solely rely on their resourcefulness and sharp instincts. This film is great as it stars two Phalguni natives; the character Furiosa being portrayed by likely Purva Phalguni ASC native Charlize Theron. Her warriorship is based around seeking a better future for the feminine, which is marked by love and autonomy.

Furiosa, being Venus and an Ugra nakshatra, represents the fight for liberation and happiness, particularly on the freedom of Immortan Joe’s enslaved women, and her own freedom from such a restrictive society unfit for the feminine. The women's rejection of the patriarchy mirrors Max’s independence outside the system. Initially, he aligns with her merely out of necessity as she and the wives possess resources beneficial for his survival. But he treats them as equals, recognizing their autonomy and agency. Max's collaboration with them emphasizes Uttara Phalguni’s purpose of creating alliances and partnerships for higher purposes, supporting the journey that started from Purva Phalguni nakshatra.

After aiding Furiosa, Max returns to his hyper-independent lifestyle; burning the attachments he formed with the women, and returning to his path that is away from the society.

This ability to survive by oneself, to reshape one's environment, mobilizing resources even in barren circumstances, is a theme for Sun nakshatras — further exaggerating this lone wolf, mysterious archetype (as seen with Max in Mad Max: Fury Road and Peter in Red Riding Hood).

The Sun is the natural giver of light and energy, but it does not receive light in return. Solar natives, often being so self-sufficient, give to others but rarely lean on them for much support. The character Elliot Alderson from Mr. Robot is a hacker, his final achievement towards the end of the series making him a modern day Robin Hood. His mission to expose corruption and empower the oppressed is akin to the Sun being a source of illumination, Krittika especially being known to cut away illusion. He is played by Krittika Sun Rami Malek.

Elliot remains emotionally isolated, as he has noticed that anyone who gets too close to him burns in the end — very similar to how the Sun god, Surya, burns and shines too brightly that his wife, Samjna, runs away from him. Elliot's solitary nature makes him feel extreme loneliness, but he maintains a distance from others, his hyper-independence stemming from his traumatic past and his mistrust of others.

There's a genre of film which explores the cause of such imbalanced independence, much like how Max's reason for burning attachments being due to trauma and previous lose. Christmas Carol movies often have Sun natives casted in them, portraying characters that possess a level of misanthropy and selfishness which drive them into further isolation.

The famous character, Ebenezer Scrooge, is a miserly, bitter, and cold-hearted old man who despises Christmas as it is associated with things of generosity and happiness. His name has literally become synonymous with selfishness, cynicism, greed and a lack of compassion. Ebenezer leads a solitary life, being estranged from family and detached from community due to his cold demeanour and focus on material gain. A Christmas Carol is a tale of Scrooge's redemption through three spirits, who highlight moments of lost joy, compassion, and the choices that led to his current misery and his future lonely funeral.

After his epiphanies, thanks to the spirits who took him on a journey of rediscovery, his redemption is seen when he wakes up on Christmas morning being transformed into a generous, joyful person — helping the community and reconnecting with his family. His renewed sense of compassion from being such a mean, wicked old man could be interpreted as the Sun burning away negativity to rekindle the warmth and generosity that the Scrooge has repossessed within himself. This tale is retold in the 2008 Barbie in a Christmas Carol, in which the character Eden Starling is a glamourous singer who is extremely self-centered and arrogant. She does not believe in Christmas and even refuses her employees from celebrating it.

She is voiced by Uttara Phalguni Sun and Uttara Ashada Moon native Morwenna Banks. Much like the timeless festive tale, three ghosts visit her on Christmas Eve, taking her on a journey through her Past, Present and Future. This leading her to have epiphanies regarding how much of her light had been dimmed and how lonely her future will be. These scrooge characters were once so brilliant and bright, but their inner light became eclipsed by bitterness, lose, or regret, leading to a life devoid of merriness — and being cold and frosty towards others.

Life’s challenges, such as betrayal, lose or disillusionment, leads these solar natives to retreat into isolation and despair. In the film Jingle Jangle, the character Jeronicus is a vibrant inventor, radiating so much brilliance and inspiring those around him.

Though not as cruel as Scrooge was, his arc still mirrors the Christmas Carol tale, in that his light becomes renewed. His young and redeemed older self both embody the festive spirit and joy of Christmas, acting as conduits for the magic, wonder, and generosity for the season.

The transformative journeys of these solar characters also extend to the Grinch, from the 2000 film How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the character portrayed by Uttara Ashada Sun native Jim Carrey. The tale was originally created by Uttara Phalguni Moon native Dr Seuss, first published in 1955.

The Grinch absolutely despises Christmas, much like Scrooge, being deeply consumed by resentment and envy while he isolates himself from the joyous Whoville community. His redemption is seen in him integrating himself into the community with newfound warmth, after experiencing an epiphany through a little girl’s unwavering joy and forgiveness. He returns the gifts he has stolen, realizing that Christmas is about love, not material possessions.

There are solar symbolisms in Christmas traditions, besides the gift-giving and festive feasting. These traditions can be traced back to ancient winter solstice celebrations, which made the symbolic rebirth of the sun, as the daylight hours began to increase after the winter solstice.

In 2018's The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, the character Clara, portrayed by Krittika ASC Mackenzie Foy, experiences a journey which can be symbolic of the winter solstice. The story begins with Clara in a dark emotional space following the death of her mother, this darkness being much like the world descending into the longest night at the winter solstice. But Clara seeks the key to her mother’s gift, which signifies as a source of life, fertility, and illumination that unlocks potential — the gift quite literally being a golden egg. Clara and her companion must retrieve the key and restore harmony to the unstable magical land. This theme of restoration, new hope, and redemption in a lot of these scrooge films, is symbolic to the Sun’s rebirth during the solstice — the return of life.

The practice of illuminating the Christmas tree with lights and ornaments mirrors the Sun's return, symbolizing a brighter future with the coming year. The infectious joy and generous acts during this festive season reflect the gratitude for the life-sustaining force that the Sun is, and the light for new hope it represents, as it promises abundance for the year ahead. The twin deities of Ashwini nakshatra are associated with rejuvenation, new beginnings, and vitality; this resonates with solar qualities, further explaining why Sun feels naturally at home in Ashwini. The Ashwini Kumaras are divine healers who bring restoration and renewal, just as the Sun sustains all living beings with its energy.

The character Robin Hood, much like the Sun, is a symbol of hope for the downtrodden, fighting off the darkness of evil and corruption. He sustains the spirit of his people by redistributing wealth and restoring their faith in justice, consistently being a force of resistance. The Sun serves as a profound symbol of redemption, perfectly embodying the cycle of renewal and the promise of transformation on earth. Its daily rise eliminates darkness, rejuvenating life and reinstituting balance in nature after its lengthy absence. Sun illuminates the paths which signify growth, healing, and change. The very pure symbolism of the Sun makes it an enduring metaphor for hope, forgiveness, and the power to provide. Robin Hood's actions literally restore the imbalance, which was created by corruption and darkness, giving the poor a chance to continue building their lives. Robin Hood stands as a symbol of light against injustice, signifying a timeless reminder that even in the face of darkness, renewal and justice are always within reach. The character Elliot Alderson is also the perfect representation of this, for anyone who has watched Mr. Robot (the only series I'd happily recommend to anyone — it's very dark though).

Merry belated Christmas! 🎄

[f1cflcfic]

Won't Say I'm In Love (SMAU ft. Lando Norris) - part xv

pairing: lando norris x tennis player!reader (fem!y/n); past carlos alcaraz x tennis player!reader (fem!y/n)

summary: As a general rule, y/n does not date athletes. You've been there, done that - would not recommend. Besides, you definitely don't do love. There's no time in the world for complicated feelings when there's a career Grand Slam to be won. But what if your heart just refuses to listen?

genre: social meda/mixed au, friends to lovers

note: this is RPF and is obviously in no way, shape, or form reflective of real persons and/or events

series: part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii | part viii | part ix | part x | part xi | part xii | part xiii | part xiv

bonus: one, two, three

July 7-8, 2025

[Excerpt: ATP and WTA Stars Take On "Nearest The Pin Golf" Challenge]

Y/N L/N steps up to the small green and then turns to the camera. "I just want to formally apologise to Lily in advance for messing this up."

The first few balls disappear into the water, but at least she's launching them in the right direction. Some of the other tennis players ironically struggle with even hitting the ball, or keep sending it far away from where it needs to land.

"Ugh, please tell me Casper didn't get this in one go," Y/N references one of the few tennis players that is pretty decent in golf. "I feel like it's almost impossible?"

Then she's asking if she can call a helpline. "It can't be a professional golfer, but it can be someone who thinks they are a professional golfer?" She grins slyly, then proceeds to call Carlos Sainz Jr.

"You know who is going to be so mad? Lando, for calling me instead of him," he can be heard saying in the background, before Y/N shows him the challenge. "I'll make it up to him, don't worry."

With another try, and some additional tips from Carlos, she manages to get the ball to bounce onto the lonely island with the pin on it. "I guess that's the best I'll do. Did I win? What did I win? Eternal glory? I'll take it!"

July 9-11, 2025

[Excerpt: Post-Semi Final Press Conference]

"ESPN here. Of course it's never fun to lose, but is there a part of you that feels relieved perhaps, knowing you can now fully focus on your individual tournaments?"

Jack shifts forward. "I mean there was only one other match to go. I'd have been more than happy to make that sacrifice and see if I could win two titles, instead of just the one."

Y/N nods along. "If we hadn't wanted to take this all the way, we wouldn't have committed to the tournament altogether."

"Hi, I'm with SkySports. Jack, you'll be facing Carlos Alcaraz next in your individual semi-final. Considering Y/N's history with Alcaraz, have you asked her for any tips on how to best handle him?"

There's some huffing in the room, and Jack seems to be slightly lost for words. "I - uh, no. I have not asked her for advice."

"And who will you be rooting for, Y/N?" The interviewer continues, making Y/N all but roll her eyes. "I think you know the answer to that, seems pretty obvious to me. But I'm mostly rooting for us to get better questions."

Another interviewer waves their hand. "Hi, I'm with Tennis News. Y/N, you could be just one step closer to your Season Slam if you manage to win this week. How do you switch between this loss and the next potential victory?"

Y/N smiles at that. "Well, I credit my team for it and my family and friends, first of all. But also, if you really want to be a champion - you have to learn how to take the losses. I think in this sport, but also probably in others, that to be a true professional athlete, it means you need to become good at losing. You can't be precious about them, or too superstitious or anything. Because you'll lose so much more than you'll win across your entire career. So if I couldn't deal with losing, I wouldn't be able to fight for the wins. Or at least, that's what I try to tell myself. I'm not always successful at it, but so far I haven't smashed a racket here," she jokes. "Thanks for the lovely question. More of that please."

A/N: pleased to share i have now caught up with the race weekend and have seen the video of lando walking into a wall, and it will 100% make an appearance in this fic at one point 🙃 next chapter features Lando at the Wimbledon final (obvi) and the aftermath or perhaps afterglow?? who knows?? :) :)

Next part is available here

♥ likes, comments, reblogs and asks are always very much appreciated - i love chatting and hearing your thoughts! ♥

taglist (open): @linnygirl09 @julesbog @midnight-and-books @sarx164 @obxstiles @freyathehuntress @vhkdncu2ei8997 @berrnuu @lightdragonrayne @glow-ish @batsratswrites @blushmimi @colmathgames2 @esw1012 @sadiemack9 @tremendousstarlighttragedy @awritingtree @its-elias-world @sarah-thatstings-ann @jessicanotta @fairyjinn @destinyg237 @verogonewild @annimausi @taetae-armyyyyy

[dessarchive]

now introducing the future of music and entertainment, endless options of sound (eos)

eos is an app that i script into most of my drs. i got inspired to create it after coming across a video on youtube of someone re-designing spotifys UI. i’ve used spotify, apple music, amazon music, youtube music, and many more music streaming services and none of them ever lived up to my expectations, so i thought why not create what i’ve always wanted? i took a long hard look at all of the features i wish the current apps had and put them all into one. i posted about it before on my previous account but didn’t go into the actual details much. it started as a music streaming app when it was launched but became much more than that. it’s one of my favorite parts of my drs because i’m an avid music listener and the features are to die for. eos is the only music streaming app in my drs. i also have a ceo dr where i’m the ceo of it because this app has basically become my child!!! anyways here’s what i have after working on it for months!

eos was launched on october 31, 2001 by robyn fenty (she’s older LMAO) and aliyah haughton. the app immediately gained popularity as the first and only music streaming service. it was created as a space where everyone could enjoy music. years later it implemented audiobooks, podcasts, music videos, interviews, merch, and concert tickets. it stands out with its flawless performance that never crashes or has bugs, its exceptional algorithm for fresh experiences each playtime, and its features like eosoulmates that connects users through shared music tastes.

lyrics and subtitles are always available in any language desired by the user and the platform includes organization like no other. exclusive presale codes are able for top listeners of specific artists because the app has its own ticketing system. eos is free for all users as the founders wanted to make a space to unify people during life’s challenge. to maintain this while making sure artists are fairly paid, revenue is generated through a share of concert ticket and merchandise sales, in-app donations directly supporting artists, non-intrusive sponsorships and partnerships, and grants from philanthropic organizations. this guarantees that eos stays true to making music accessible while supporting creators and users globally.

to expand on existing sounds of music and entertainment, the service implemented dolby atmos to its highest quality with no extra price to artists for using it.

eos also features eos karaoke: sing it your way. within this are lyrics that are displayed in perfect sync with customizable highlighting options, while users can adjust the original vocals (mute, reduce, or add harmonies) for a personalized performance. advanced pitch tracking gives real-time feedback, along with timing guides and a practice mode for perfecting songs. voice effects like reverb, autotune, and fun filters are available to take things to a higher level or have fun with friends and family. dual-screen mode connects to tvs for party setups and users can enjoy duets with friends or group singing for up to 10 people. karaoke playlists are curated based on mood, listening habits, or vocal range. sessions can be recorded and shared with friends or on social media. a scoring system with feedback helps users improve their singing while earning fun badges. eos karaoke also offers live virtual karaoke rooms, offline mode for downloaded tracks, and customizable themes for lyric screens and backgrounds. a special kid-friendly mode ensures the fun for all age groups.

eos allows music and entertainment to be accessible, fun, and, immersive to everyone.

[vampstarkey]

provocative mini skirt ୨୧ ⊹ ˚₊‧♡

Masterlist

warnings: pussy slapping, semi-public sex, hair pulling, dick sucking, ass slapping & degradation.

Note: English is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes in advance.

You and Rafe had been together for a few months, but the relationship seemed like a tightrope about to snap, full of possessiveness and arguments that seemed to have no end. He hated your sassy behavior sometimes, but at the same time, the idea of ​​having to punish you later seemed exciting, and he made sure to make that clear at every opportunity.

The loud music from Topper's party echoed in the background, muffled by the walls of the house, but that didn't stop Rafe's cutting words from reverberating in your mind. You watched him from across the room, leaning against the doorframe, trying to process the weight of the look he was giving you, intense, but at the same time filled with fury, it made you wet.

Rafe paced back and forth, his fingers tightening his glass of whiskey as if he wanted to crush it. The reason for the fight was another of the usual absurdities: the short skirt you were wearing at the party.

— Next time, I'll rip that shit off you and make you change. — He growled, his blue eyes shining with an anger that seemed ready to explode. The sound of glass hitting the table accompanied him as he approached, his breathing heavy and the smell of alcohol already present.

— This is stupid. It's just a skirt, it's not like I'm walking around naked. — You replied a little frustrated, but deep down you found all that jealousy funny.

— You think it's fun to make me go through this, huh? Everyone was staring at your ass, damn it. — Rafe stopped, clenching his jaw.

The blond could feel his blood boiling with your air of indifference. It didn't take long for him to approach you. Rafe cornered you against the wall, not leaving you the slightest space.

— Honestly, I do find it fun. — Your eyes fixed on the lips of the boy in front of you, you were challenging him, after all you knew where this would lead.

— Oh, really? I want to see you find it funny when I fuck this little pussy right here without making you scream.

He ran his fingers up your thigh, massaging the area while he slowly moved his hands up. Your pussy could already throb just imagining all the things he would be able to do to you there in the room that was only occupied by the two of you at that party.

— What are you waiting for? — Your voice came out almost like a plea, he found it comical, the way you always seemed like a desperate whore for his cock, in fact it wasn't a lie. You loved the way your boyfriend fucked you so well, the environment only made you hornier, it was tempting.

Rafe quickly pulled up your skirt, playing with the elastic of your red lace panties. He pulled the thin fabric to the side, placing his fingers on your clit while rubbing it feeling your wetness.

— I didn't even have to try very hard, you're begging for me right here. — He slapped your pussy a few times and then laughed with satisfaction. Rafe could feel his cock almost exploding inside his pants. You were so ready, so wet for him. His fingers slid so easily inside you. It was killing you. It was torturous.

— I need your dick. — You bit your lip hard, then leaned against a small table.

— I'm going to play with you a little bit more. — Rafe quickly slid two fingers inside your soaked slit while his other hand was still caressing your swollen clit. His fingers went in and out inside you so deliciously that it made you hold back your moans, even though you wanted to make the scene he loved. One of your hands went to his wrist, squeezing it as you tilted your head back.

— My little slut is so desperate. — His hands went to your thigh once more, but this time giving it a hard slap on the outside. — Turn your back to me and lean on the table

Without thinking twice, you did exactly what he asked, like the good, obedient slut that you were. Then you turned around, placing both hands on the table while your ass was completely raised for him. Rafe slid your panties down your legs while he analyzed your body from behind, then slapped your ass. He loved doing that.

— You made me really angry today. Don't you understand that I'm the only one who can see this delicious body? — Another slap was given to your ass, this time harder than the last time.

— Fuck, Rafe… — With the tension in the air, your body was completely at his mercy. After the slap, a scream came from your lips.

— Shh, be quiet. — Your ass was turning all red thanks to him. The boy slapped you several times without caring about the pain he caused you. After all, he knew you wouldn't complain. You were a real slut to him. — I'm going to fuck you so good, baby..

Still with your back to him, he moved his hands up to your breasts, squeezing them over your bra and playing with them.

— Be a good girl now and suck your man. — That came out more like an order than a request, and of course you didn't refuse, so you turned to Rafe and got on your knees.

Your hands went to the older man's pants, unbuttoning them skillfully. He helped you unbuckle his belt without much patience. You looked at the large bulge formed in his black boxers as soon as his pants fell to the floor. You salivated just imagining sucking that damn delicious cock.

— Yes sir. — Your said as he touched his erection, groping his thick cock. Without delay, your hands pulled down Rafe's underwear, making his pink cock jump out. Your lips slowly went to his thickness, touching the sensitive head of his hard member.

— Oh, you damn slut, stop beating around the bush and put that cock in your mouth at once. — He grabbed your hair tightly, wrapping it in a tight ponytail.

You soon took Rafe in your mouth, putting every inch of him in your mouth. He was so big, but so tasty that whenever you gave him a blowjob, it seemed like a challenge, but exciting at the same time.

— That's it, good girl. Swallow that cock. — He pulled your hair and tilted your head back, feeling your tongue massage the entire length of his hardness. Rafe moved his hips back and forth, seeking more contact with his hot mouth. — Stick your tongue out.

— W-what? — You asked, a little confused, as you looked at him on his knees.

— Don't ask anything, just obey me. — He said, as he waited for you to do what he told you to do, and so it was done.

Your tongue was now out as you looked at your boyfriend. Rafe quickly put his cock in your mouth again, but this time fucking you. He fucked your mouth with everything he had, with anger and a mixture of lust. The sight of having you kneeling for him was surreal. He just wanted to put you on that table and fuck you until you couldn't walk. Well, since he took your virginity, you've become a thousand times hotter and there was no time or place to want to fuck. You coughed with the thickness that invaded your throat.

— Daddy's girl is so greedy, do a good job and I'll eat all that pussy that's begging for me. — Rafe pushed his hips harder into your mouth once more, your eyes started to water. Your eyes rolled back with each thrust into your throat, your hands were resting on his knees, your pussy was burning, you felt like you could cum just by sucking that dick, your face was all smeared with pre-cum.

— Do you like that? — You asked provocatively as you caressed his balls. Your hand masturbated the rest of Rafe's cock that didn't fit in your mouth as soon as he stopped moving his hips.

— You know I do. — Rafe laughed with that damned rogue smile full of evil. He let out small hoarse moans trying not to lose control completely. — But I need you to stop, I don't want to cum in your mouth.

You just nodded. Rafe pulled you up in a sudden movement, catching you by surprise, and placed you on the table, still facing him, spreading your legs.

— Rafe… — A murmur left your lips as you waited for any action.

Rafe pulled your skirt and fit between your legs, rubbing his hard member against your wet pussy.

— Damn bitch, I know you were crazy for this. — He rubbed his cock against your slit, making your skin shiver all over.

— Yes, yes, please. — Your legs wrapped around the boy’s hips. He soon held your legs tightly, letting himself be enveloped by you.

— I love it when you beg, it just shows what a real whore you are. — Rafe attacked your lips in a burning kiss as he rubbed against you, containing the naughty moans that came out of your mouth.

His tongue swirled around yours, losing each other. Without warning, Rafe thrust his cock inside you, which made you gasp in the middle of the kiss. Your fingers went to his back, scratching.

— Fuuuck — You cursed as you pressed him against you. Rafe broke the kiss as he moved skillfully. He had no mercy when it came to fucking you.

— What a hot pussy, fuck, I’ll never get tired of feeling how delicious you are. — Rafe groaned, looking at your expression of pleasure. He found you so hot, you were a temptation for him.

— Yes, yes, yes, just like that. — You said, feeling every inch of him touch your pussy, he went so deep that it left you in ecstasy.

— You like it like that, huh? You like it when daddy goes deep inside that greedy little pussy? — He slapped your clit as he thrust inside you.

Your body vibrated in small spasms, you could only nod as he fucked you faster and faster on top of that table. The fact that anyone could show up there made both of you even hornier. A loud moan left your lips, hard to hold back.

— Moan softly, you’ll get everyone’s attention outside moaning so deliciously like that. — Rafe pushed your body even further onto the table, making you lie completely on it while he grabbed your legs and fucked you like a dirty little bitch.

— I can't, you're fucking me so good. — The table creaked as it hit the wall, you grabbed onto the cold wood trying to find support. Your moans were muffled by the music echoing from the party outside.

Rafe covered your mouth with his hand as he thrust deeper and deeper into you, increasing the speed of his movements.

— Noisy slut. — A growl came out of his mouth. — This is to teach you not to be a very badly behaved little slut. — Deep down you like it, yeah?

You nodded, completely unable to say anything since his hand covered your lips. He slapped your clit again, making you twitch on his cock. Rafe pounded you deep, making your body writhe.

— Daddy wants to cum good inside you. — Rafe took his hand off your mouth, letting you moan freely now. — Tell me that's what you want, little slut.

— Yes, daddy, I want to feel your cum dripping inside my pussy. — You whimpered. The mascara from your eyes ran down your cheeks, edging the makeup on your face.

— Look at that, so mine, so delicious. — He hit you so deep now that a high-pitched scream left your lips. Rafe grabbed your neck, squeezing it with desire as he thrust his cock in a clumsy way, looking at your face, now not caring at all if anyone could hear your delicious moans. — You're close, aren't you?

— Yes, I need to cum so bad. — Your legs opened wider and wider for him, it was hard to control yourself.

— Then cum for me, you little bitch, cum really good on your man's dick. — He said as he played with your clit, still thrusting his cock inside you.

Your legs began to tremble, Rafe also felt that he was getting closer and closer to orgasm. He rolled his eyes back, moaning hoarsely, holding your soft thighs tightly.

— Fuck, I think I'm going to… — You couldn't finish the sentence, a great orgasm hit you, leaving you totally sensitive.

— That's it, like that, just like that. — Rafe kept pushing his cock into you, wanting to reach his peak. Your body was very soft and full of spasms, the feeling was delicious, you loved it.

Rafe pulled his cock out of you, rubbing it on your clit.

— It's delicious to cum like this, you know? — He kept rubbing his cock on your pussy, leaving you all goosebumps.

— Shit, Rafe, I'm so sensitive. — Your voice broke, but he didn't care, he had fucked you so well.

A hot jet of cum came out of Rafe's cock, smearing your slit. He grunted as he pressed you against him.

— Fuck, you're hot, girl. — He said right after, wiping the sweat from his face. He had finished you.

— You left me dead, Rafe. — You complained.

— It's not like you don't like it. — He laughed, lifting his boxers and pants again. — Let's go to the bathroom, you need to clean yourself.

You got up from the table, putting your clothes back on.

— Okay, I can't deny it. — You bit your lip mischievously.

— Don't think it's over, when we get home I'm going to make you cum again. — Rafe gave your ass a little slap and winked before going upstairs to the bathroom to clean himself.

[natsaffection]

Ohh an idea 💡 in my head and I know you are perfect to write this, basically reader is working at a company that is run by bad guys but doesn't know it, so natasha is sent on a mission to get close to her and gather Intel, so couple weeks pass and reader finds out in the most distraught way which causes her to end everything with Natasha but still have a good heart decides to give everything natasha needs to take down the company, (happy ending or sad ending either works) 💝

Showing everything. | N.R

Warnings: Just Angst?

Word count: 8,4k

A/n: I'm so grateful every time I finish a Ask that's been on my list for weeks. So thank you for your patience each time. 🫶🏼

You had always dreamed of finding a job where you could make a difference in the world, but you never thought it would come in the form of an elegant office in the heart of New York City. The building, a towering glass structure shimmering in the sunlight, housed one of the city's most prestigious companies. Kinetica Industries. They were known for their groundbreaking technology and humanitarian efforts, advancing medical equipment and energy supply that had revolutionized the industry. It was a dream job, almost impossible to turn down.

You stumbled upon the opportunity by chance. A late night scrolling through endless job listings led you to Kinetica's website. The company was looking for someone with your exact skills: data analysis and project management. The job description was vague but intriguing. Analyzing trends, managing large datasets, coordinating with various departments. It sounded challenging yet rewarding, the kind of opportunity you needed to prove yourself. The application process was quick, almost too quick. A few online assessments, a virtual interview with a charming man who headed your department, and within a week, you were offered the job. They said they were impressed by your resume, your background in bioinformatics, and your impeccable reputation. The salary was more than generous, with benefits that seemed almost too good to be true. But eager to start fresh and leave the stagnation of your previous job behind, you didn't question it further. You accepted immediately.

Your first day was a whirlwind of activity. The office itself was as impressive as the building's exterior. Elegant, modern, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a panoramic view of the city. The air buzzed with innovation, with teams of people tirelessly working on the next big thing. You were given a tour, introduced to your colleagues. Bright, motivated people who all seemed to share your enthusiasm for the work. Your role was exactly as described, but with a small twist. You were part of a special project they called "The Initiative." It involved collecting and analyzing data from various sources to create predictive models that could be used for everything from disease prevention to energy distribution. It sounded noble, and you were thrilled to be part of something that could change the world.

But as you settled into your new role, you couldn't help but notice the layers of secrecy surrounding certain aspects of your work. Some files were restricted, accessible only with special clearance. Occasionally, your requests for specific datasets were met with vague answers or outright refusal. But whenever doubts arose, you reminded yourself that every company had its secrets, especially one as influential as Kinetica.

Meanwhile, in a dimly lit office in the underground levels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, Natasha Fury sat across from you, the tension in the air almost palpable. "Romanoff," Fury began, his single eye piercing through the twilight, "we have a problem. Kinetica Industries." Natasha leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "The tech company? They've been on our radar for a while, haven't they?"

"They have." Fury confirmed. "But new intel suggests they're more than just a tech company. We believe they're a front for something far more dangerous. We suspect they're involved in illegal arms trading, possibly even human experimentation. But we need proof." Natasha nodded, understanding where this was going. "And that's where I come in."

"Exactly. We've identified someone on the inside, Y/N Y/L/N. She's new, only started about a week ago. As far as we can tell, she's clean. No criminal record, no ties to any organizations. She's the perfect target to infiltrate." Natasha leaned forward, studying the file Fury slid across the table. Your face stared back at her from the photo clipped to the top of the file, a bright smile, eyes full of hope. Natasha couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, but she pushed it aside. This was a mission, and she had a job to do.

"What's the plan?" she asked, flipping through the file. "You'll go undercover as someone with a similar background, a data analyst, someone they might hire if the current employee doesn't work out. Your task is to gain her trust, find out what Y/n knows. If she's innocent, she might unknowingly be sitting on crucial information. If not.."

"I'll find out," Natasha finished, her voice cold and determined. Fury nodded, satisfied. "We need to act fast. Every day we wait is another day Kinetica could move their operations. I'm counting on you, Romanoff." Natasha stood up, tucking the file under her arm. "I won't let you down."

As she left Fury's office, her thoughts were already spinning with possibilities, strategies, and the cool detachment that came with every undercover mission. She knew this wouldn't be easy. You were innocent, or at least you seemed to be. But Natasha had learned the hard way that appearances could be deceiving. Her mission was clear: get close to you, gather the information, and expose Kinetica for what they really were. But as she prepared to step into your world, Natasha couldn't shake the feeling that this mission would become more complicated than she anticipated.

Your first weeks at Kinetica Industries were a whirlwind of new faces, complex datasets, and an overwhelming amount of information. You were slowly getting used to the office routine when you heard about the new hire. Natalie Rushman, as she was introduced, joined the team on a bright Monday morning. You first heard about her during the daily briefing. Your department head mentioned that Natalie was hired to assist with data analysis, given the increasing workload from "The Initiative."

"I want you to show her the ropes." Your boss said, his tone implying it was not a request. "She has a similar background to you, and I think you two will work well together." You nodded, trying to hide the concern you felt about being responsible for training someone so soon after starting yourself. You hadn't fully mastered your own tasks yet, and now you were supposed to mentor someone else? But you forced a smile and agreed, hoping that Natalie would be as easygoing as she seemed in her brief introduction.

It wasn't until later in the morning that you finally met her. You were in the office kitchen, struggling with the intricate espresso machine that seemed designed to torment anyone who wasn't a seasoned barista. You had managed to spill coffee grounds everywhere when you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

You turned around and saw Natalie standing there, a slight smile on her lips. Her red hair was tied back in a neat ponytail, and she wore a white blouse and tailored black pants that made her look effortlessly professional. "Need some help?" Natalie asked, her voice warm and slightly amused. You laughed, embarrassed to be caught in the middle of your coffee disaster. "I think this machine was designed by someone who hates caffeine addicts."

Natalie stepped forward, gently nudging you aside. "Mind if I give it a try? I've had my fair share of battles with these things."

"Be my guest." you replied gratefully, stepping back. Natalie moved with practiced ease, quickly coaxing the machine into cooperation and brewing two perfect cups of espresso. She handed you one, which you accepted with a wide grin. "You're a lifesaver." you said, taking a sip. The coffee was perfectm. Rich, smooth, and exactly what you needed to get through the rest of the day. "I'm Y/n, by the way. I'm supposed to show you around today."

"Natalie." she replied, her smile deepening. "And I appreciate the help. The first days are always a bit overwhelming."

"Don't I know it.." you said, rolling your eyes playfully. "I'm still trying to figure out where half the supplies are kept around here." Natalie laughed, a genuine but slightly guarded sound, as if she was still feeling out her new environment. "I'm sure we'll figure it out together. So, what exactly are we working on?" You began explaining the project to her, giving her an overview of "The Initiative" and what your roles would be. As you spoke, you noticed that Natalie was a good listener, nodding at the right moments and asking insightful questions. It was clear she knew what she was talking about, and you felt a little more at ease, knowing you weren't dealing with a complete novice.

"So," Natalie said as you walked back to the office with your coffees in hand, "what made you decide to work here?" You shrugged, trying to put your thoughts into words. "I guess I wanted to be part of something bigger, you know? Kinetica is doing some amazing things..or at least that's what they tell us. It's nice to think that the work we're doing here might actually make a difference."

Natalie nodded thoughtfully, as if considering her own reasons for being here. "I can understand that. It's nice to feel like what you're doing matters." You arrived at your desk, which was temporarily doubling as Natalie's workspace until hers was ready. You showed her how to log into the system, where to find the files she needed, and how to navigate the company's complex database. As you worked together, you noticed how quickly Natalie picked everything up. She seemed almost too proficient, as if she knew the system better than someone on their first day should. But you brushed the thought aside, some people were just quick learners, you thought.

The day passed smoothly, with the two of you working side by side and getting to know each other in small increments between tasks. Natalie was friendly but reserved, sharing just enough about herself to seem open without giving too much away. You found that you liked your new colleague, appreciating her calm demeanor and quick mind.

By the end of the day, you had made significant progress on your tasks, and you were starting to feel a sense of camaraderie with Natalie. As you prepared to leave, you turned to her with a smile. “Thanks for today, Natalie. You made my job a lot easier.” Natalie returned the smile, her green eyes sparkling in the fading daylight. “The feeling is mutual. I think we’re going to make a great team.” You nodded, feeling a warmth in your chest that you hadn’t expected. Maybe this new job wouldn’t be so overwhelming after all..

In the weeks that followed, the bond between you and Natalie deepened, evolving from a close friendship into something more intense, something charged. There was a tension between you that neither of you could ignore, a pull that grew stronger with every shared glance, every lingering touch. You had danced around your feelings for each other for a while, but the unspoken words were becoming harder to bear.

One evening, after another long day at the office, you found yourselves alone in the break room once again. The city lights cast a soft glow through the windows, the hum of the air conditioning the only sound breaking the silence. You sat closer than usual, your shoulders touching as you picked at the remnants of a shared dinner. Your heart raced, the proximity making it difficult to focus on anything other than the warmth of Natalie’s body next to yours.

“Natalie..” you began hesitantly, “I need to tell you something.” Natalie looked up from her food, her green eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that took your breath away. “What is it?”

You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. “I..I’ve been trying to understand these feelings I have for you.. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone I work with, but I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I care about you, Natalie. More than just as a friend.” The words hung heavy in the air between you, filled with the weight of their honesty. You watched Natalie closely, searching her face for any sign of rejection or discomfort. But what you saw instead was a softening in her expression, a warmth that she hadn’t fully shown before.

“Y/n,” Natalie said softly, reaching out to take your hand, “I feel the same way. I’ve tried to keep my distance, to stay professional, but..I can’t help it. I love you.” Your heart leaped at her confession, your pulse quickening as the truth settled between you. “You.. you love me?”

Natalie nodded, her thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “Yes, I do. And I’ve been so scared of what that means, but I can’t deny it any longer. I love you, Y/n.” The relief that washed over you was almost overwhelming, and without thinking, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Natalie’s in a kiss that was soft, tentative, and filled with all the emotions you had both been holding back.

Natalie responded immediately, her hand coming up to cup your cheek as she deepened the kiss, letting all her unspoken feelings flow into it. It was a moment of pure connection, where nothing else existed but the two of you and the love you shared. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to process what had just happened.

“I can’t believe this is real..” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. “It is,” Natalie murmured, her eyes shining with affection. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, everything felt perfect. But as the warmth of the moment began to fade, a sharp pang of guilt pierced Natasha’s heart. She had just confessed her love to you, but the truth was far more complicated than she could admit. She wasn’t just Natalie Rushman, a data analyst who had fallen for her colleague..she was Natasha Romanoff, a spy sent to gather information from the woman she had just professed her love to.

As you sat there, your hand still in hers, Natasha knew she was at a crossroads. She had sworn to get the information she needed, to complete the mission no matter what. But now, with the thought of betraying you, her stomach twisted with guilt. “Y/n,” Natasha began, her voice heavy with what she was about to say, “I want us to be completely honest with each other. Totally honest. I need to know..is there anything about our project, about Kinetica, that seems strange to you? Anything that doesn’t add up?”

You frowned slightly, confused by the sudden change in topic. “What do you mean?” Natasha hesitated, hating herself for what she had to do, but knowing she had no choice. “I’ve just..noticed a few things that don’t quite fit. Some files that are restricted, some data that doesn’t quite match up. I thought maybe you’d noticed it too.” Your brow furrowed as you thought back over the past few months. “Well, there have been a few things that seemed odd, but I just figured it was part of working at such a high-level company. Why do you ask?”

Natasha swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep up the pretense. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I want to make sure we’re not missing anything important.” You nodded slowly, still puzzled but trusting Natalie’s concern. “I’ll keep an eye out, and if I notice anything, I’ll let you know. But..can we not talk about work right now? I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”

Natasha’s heart clenched at your words, the guilt threatening to overwhelm her. She had just used your moment of vulnerability to fish for information, and the realization made her feel sick. But she forced herself to push the guilt aside, to focus on the mission, even as it tore her apart inside. “Of course.” Natasha said softly, pulling you closer and kissing you again, trying to lose herself in the warmth and love she felt for you.

Weeks passed, and the bond between you and Natalie grew even deeper. Your relationship had blossomed into something beautiful, a refuge in the midst of the high-pressure jobs at Kinetica Industries. You spent as much time together as possible..dinners, quiet nights with movies, and long walks through the city. For you, it felt like you had finally found someone who understood you, someone you could trust completely. But for Natasha, the lines between her mission and her feelings for you were becoming increasingly blurred.

The guilt Natasha felt was a constant companion, gnawing at her whenever she saw your trusting smile or felt the warmth of your hand in hers. Natasha knew she was deceiving you, but every time she considered telling you the truth, the weight of her duty as an agent held her back. She had a job to do, and despite her feelings, she couldn’t abandon it.

One evening, after a particularly long day at the office, you invited Natasha to your place. You were behind on some work and needed to finish a report for the next day, but you didn’t want to miss out on spending time with Natalie. Natasha agreed, glad for any excuse to spend more time with you.

Your apartment was cozy and inviting, filled with the little details Natasha had come to love. Bookshelves overflowing with novels, a small collection of plants by the window, and a few framed photos of you with your family. You settled together on the couch, you with your laptop and Natasha with a book she had picked from your shelf. “I’m sorry I have to work tonight..” you said, giving Natasha an apologetic smile. “I just need to finish this report, and then I’m all yours.”

“Don’t worry.” Natasha replied with a smile of her own. “I’m just happy to be here with you. Take your time.” As you focused on your work, Natasha found herself watching you more than reading the book in her hands. The way your brow furrowed slightly when you were deep in thought, the absent-minded way you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. All of it made Natasha’s heart ache with affection and guilt. But as much as she wanted to lose herself in these feelings, Natasha couldn’t forget why she was there. This was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. Your work might hold the key to the information S.H.I.E.L.D. needed, and Natasha had to take advantage of it, no matter how much it tore her up inside.

After about an hour, you stood up and stretched, yawning. “I need to make some tea. Want anything?”

Natasha nodded her head, giving you a reassuring smile. “This would be grate.” As you disappeared into the kitchen, Natasha’s heart pounded in her chest. This was her chance. She had to act quickly. She set the book aside and moved quietly to your laptop. The screen was still on, showing the report you were working on, but Natasha’s focus was on the folders and files scattered across the desktop. She opened one labeled “Project Data” her hands trembling slightly as she navigated through the documents.

Natasha scanned the files, her sharp eyes searching for anything that stood out or seemed significant. Most of the documents were routine. Xatasets, project reports, emails. But then she found something: a file titled “Confidential Research Notes.”

Her heart raced as she opened it and found a series of notes detailing experiments and datasets that she hadn’t seen before. It was more detailed than anything you had shown her at work, and as Natasha read through it, she realized it contained the kind of information S.H.I.E.L.D. had been looking for..details about Kinetica’s involvement in potentially illegal research, experiments that crossed ethical boundaries.

She heard the clink of a teacup in the kitchen, and panic surged through her. Quickly, Natasha copied the file onto a USB stick she had hidden in her bag. She had just closed the file when you returned, carrying twocups of tea. “Here you go.” you said with a smile, handing one of the cups to Natasha. “Thanks.” Natasha replied, taking the cup with slightly trembling hands and praying that you hadn’t noticed anything unusual.

You settled back down on the couch, taking a sip of your tea and letting out a contented sigh. “The report is almost done. After that, we can watch the movie you mentioned.” Natasha forced a smile, trying to push down the gnawing guilt and the tight knot in her stomach. “That sounds great.”

As you returned to your work, Natasha tried to relax, but the weight of what she had just done loomed over her. She had gathered the information she needed, but at the cost of betraying your trust. For the rest of the evening, Natasha was distant, her mind racing with thoughts of what would happen next.

You noticed the change in her demeanor and reached out to touch her arm, concern evident in your eyes. “Hey, is everything okay?” Natasha looked into your eyes, feeling her heart ache. “Yeah, I’m just..tired, I guess. It’s been a long day.”

You smiled gently and squeezed her arm. “I get it. We’ve both been working so hard lately. Let’s just relax tonight, okay? No more work, just us.” Natasha nodded, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Just us.” she repeated, her voice hollow. As you both snuggled up on the couch to watch the movie, Natasha tried to focus on the moment, to lose herself in the warmth of your presence. But no matter how hard she tried, the guilt and the knowledge of what she had done weighed heavily on her.

The following days were filled with an unbearable tension for Natasha. She knew she had to pass the information to S.H.I.E.L.D., but she dreaded what would happen when the truth came out. The time she spent with you, the smiles, the laughter, all felt tainted by the lie she was living. Finally, the day came when Natasha couldn’t put it off any longer. She knew she had to deliver the USB drive to S.H.I.E.L.D. The mission needed to be completed, but the thought of what that would mean for your relationship was almost too much to bear.

That evening, as you sat together at your kitchen table, your laptop open in front of you as you worked on another report, Natasha made her decision. She had to do this, even though it meant risking everything with you. But before she could leave, something happened that changed everything.

You called Natasha over, a confused look on your face. “Nat, can you look at something for me? This report doesn’t make sense.” Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, but she kept her expression neutral. “Sure, what’s going on?” she asked, walking over to the table.

You pointed at the screen, your brow furrowed in confusion. “I just got this email from my boss, and he attached this report. It’s about a security breach at Kinetica. They’re trying to figure out who accessed some confidential files..” Natasha’s blood ran cold, but she kept her voice steady. “A security breach? What files are they talking about?”

You scrolled through the report, your frown deepening. “It doesn’t say exactly, but it has something to do with our project. They’ve narrowed down the list of suspects, but I don’t recognize most of the names..except for one.”

You paused, your eyes widening as you focused on a name in the list: Natasha Romanoff.

“Natasha Romanoff?” you whispered, confusion and disbelief clear in your voice. You looked up at Natasha, searching her face for answers. “Wait, is that you? Is this some kind of mistake?”

Natasha felt the walls closing in on her. There was no more hiding, no more pretending. The truth was out, and there was no going back. “Y/n,” she began, her voice trembling, “I need you to listen to me.” You took a step back, fear and suspicion creeping into your eyes. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice shaking.

Natasha’s heart broke at the sight of the fear in your eyes. “I’m still the same person, Y/n. I’m still me. But..I haven’t been honest with you.” Your hands shook as you hugged yourself, desperately trying to understand what was happening. “Who are you? Have you been lying to me this whole time?”

Tears welled up in Natasha’s eyes as she took a hesitant step toward you, but you flinched and stepped back. “Please, let me explain..” Natasha pleaded, her voice breaking. “My real name is Natasha Romanoff. I’m an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I was sent here to gather information on Kinetica. But everything else..everything between us..it was real. My feelings for you, Y/n, are real.”

Your eyes darted around the room as if searching for something familiar, something to hold onto. But everything felt wrong. The woman you loved, the woman you trusted, was a stranger. “You used me?” you asked, your voice trembling with anger and fear. “You used me the whole time?”

“No!” Natasha said quickly, desperation creeping into her voice. “It started as a mission, yes, but I never meant to fall in love with you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please, Y/n, you have to believe me.” You shook your head, backing away until you hit the wall. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t even know who you are. Natasha Romanoff, S.H.I.E.L.D.… it sounds like something out of a Movie..”

Natasha’s heart shattered as she watched you crumble before her. She took a tentative step closer, her hands shaking. “I’m still the person you fell in love with, Y/n. I’m still the person who loves you more than anything. Please, let me explain everything.” You stared at Natasha, your heart breaking all over again. “You should have told me the truth from the beginning! But you didn’t. You lied to me, and now..now I don’t even know who you are..”

Natasha took another step forward, reaching out tentatively. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I know I’ve hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I’m begging you, please give me a chance to make it right.” You looked down at Natasha’s outstretched hand, but the fear and betrayal in your heart were too overwhelming. You couldn’t bring yourself to take it. “I can’t..” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I can’t do this. I need you to leave.”

Natasha’s heart broke at your words, but she knew she had no right to ask for forgiveness, not now. “Y/n, I-”

“Just go!” you cried, your voice filled with agony. “Please, just go. I can’t look at you right now.” Natasha’s hands fell to her sides, her shoulders slumping as the weight of what she had done crashed down on her. She had lost you, and there was nothing she could do to fix it. But as much as it hurt, she knew she had to respect your wishes.

“I’m so sorry..” Natasha whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I love you, Y/n. I’ll always love you.” Without another word, Natasha turned and left your apartment, the door closing behind her with a finality that echoed through the empty space. You stood there, frozen, your heart shattered into a thousand pieces as the truth of Natasha’s betrayal washed over you. The apartment that once felt like a safe haven now felt cold and empty, the warmth of Natasha’s presence gone, replaced by a suffocating sense of loss. You slid down the wall, pulling your knees to your chest as your body shook with sobs. The woman you loved, the woman you trusted, was a lie, and you didn’t know if you could ever trust anyone again.

Hours passed, and eventually, your tears dried up, leaving you with a hollow feeling inside. But despite the pain, you couldn’t ignore the truth that Natasha had revealed. Kinetica was involved in something dangerous, something that needed to be stopped. And despite everything, you knew you couldn’t just walk away.

Slowly, you got to your feet, your resolve hardening. You would do what needed to be done, not for Natasha, but because it was the right thing to do. You walked over to your laptop and opened the files you had been working on. With a heavy heart, you gathered everything you knew about Kinetica’s activities, your hands shaking as you worked. The information you collected could help bring the company down, but it came at the cost of everything you believed in, everything you felt.

When you finished, you copied the files onto a USB stick and set it on the table. You stared at it for a long time, your thoughts filled with memories of the woman you thought you knew, the woman you loved. Finally, you took a deep breath and reached for your phone. You hesitated for a moment before dialing the number Natasha had given you, the one you were supposed to use only in an emergency.

Natasha answered on the first ring, her voice thick with emotion. “Y/n?”

“I have the information you need.” you said, your voice firm despite the storm of emotions raging inside you. “It’s on a USB stick. I’ll leave it at the café near my apartment tomorrow morning. You can pick it up there.”

“Y/n, please, can we talk-” Natasha began, but you cut her off.

“There’s nothing more to say.” you said quietly. "That's it, Natasha. After this, we're done. Don't contact me again."

A long silence followed on the other end of the line, and you could hear the pain in Natasha's voice when she finally spoke. "Thank you. I'm so sorry. For everything."

You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to keep your emotions under control. "Goodbye, Natasha."

The mission was over. Kinetica Industries had been exposed, its leaders arrested, and the illegal activities shut down. Natasha had completed her assignment, but the victory felt hollow. As the dust settled, she could only think about you, how she had lost you and how desperate she was to make things right.

Days turned into weeks, and the absence of you in Natasha's life became unbearable. The empty silence in her apartment echoed the emptiness in her heart. She replayed the last conversation she had with you over and over in her mind, haunted by the pain in your voice, the cold finality of your words. Natasha knew she had no right to ask for forgiveness, but she couldn't live with the thought that you hated her, that the love you had shared was now just a memory tainted by lies. After much deliberation, Natasha decided she had to try one last time to explain herself and apologize in person. She knew it was a long shot..you had made it clear you didn't want to see her again but Natasha couldn't leave things the way they were. She had to try.

One evening, just as the sun was setting, Natasha made her way to your apartment. The familiar building loomed before her, but this time it felt different..colder, more intimidating. She hesitated at the entrance, her heart pounding in her chest. What if you refused to listen? What if you called the police before she even had a chance to say anything? But she knew she couldn't turn back now. She took a deep breath, entered the building, and walked to your door. She stood there for a long moment, gathering her thoughts before she finally raised her hand and knocked softly.

There was a long pause, and Natasha's heart sank as she imagined you ignoring her, refusing to even open the door. But then she heard footsteps approaching, and the door opened a crack, revealing your wary eyes. Your expression shifted from surprise to anger as soon as you saw Natasha. Your hand tightened around the doorknob, and you narrowed your eyes. "What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice cold and hard.

"Y/n, please, I just want to talk." Natasha said quickly, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I know I don't deserve it, but I need to explain-" You cut her off, your voice sharp with anger. "Explain? There's nothing left to explain, Natasha. You lied to me, used me, and now you have the nerve to show up at my door?"

"Please.." Natasha pleaded, her voice breaking. "Give me five minutes." Your eyes flashed with a mix of anger, pain, and something else that Natasha couldn't quite place. You hesitated, your hand still gripping the doorknob as if you were weighing whether to slam the door in her face. "If you don't leave right now." you said, your voice trembling with barely suppressed emotion, "I'll call the police."

Natasha felt her heart sink, but she didn't move. She knew you were serious, but she also knew that if she walked away now, she would never have another chance to make things right. "Do it." Natasha said quietly, "Call them if you want. But please, hear me out first. I need to show you how sorry I am. I know I can't undo what I've done, but I can't live with myself if I don't at least try to apologize."

You stared at Natasha, your hand shaking as you gripped the doorknob. The pain in your eyes was unmistakable, and it broke Natasha's heart to see how much she had hurt you. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the tension between you thick and suffocating. Finally, you let out a shaky breath and loosened your grip on the doorknob. "You have five minutes," you said, "But if you lie to me again, I swear I'll call the police."

Natasha nodded, relief washing over her even though she knew this was only a small victory. "Thank you." she whispered, stepping back as you opened the door just enough to let her in. You led Natasha into the living room, a space that had once felt warm and inviting but now felt cold and distant. You gestured for Natasha to sit on the sofa, but you remained standing, arms crossed over your chest as you waited for her to speak.

"Okay," Natasha began, her voice trembling, "I know I've hurt you in a way I can never fully apologize for. I deceived you and betrayed your trust. But I need you to know that every moment I spent with you, every touch, every word I said to you, was real. My feelings for you are real." Your eyes flashed with anger, and you shook your head. "How am I supposed to believe that? You're a trained spy. Lying is part of your job."

"I know.." Natasha said, her voice breaking slightly. "And that's why I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it. But I couldn't leave things the way they were. I couldn't let you believe that everything between us was just part of the mission. It wasn't. You became the most important person in my life, and I was so scared of losing you."

"Then why didn't you tell me the truth?" you asked, your voice trembling with pent-up emotion. "Why did you wait until I had to find out this way?" Natasha swallowed hard, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because I was a coward. I didn't want to lose you, and I thought that if I could just finish the mission, maybe..just maybe we could have a life together afterward. But I was wrong. I should have been honest with you from the start."

You shook your head, tears filling your eyes as well. "You should have. But you didn't. And now I don't know if I can ever trust you again." A tear rolled down Natasha's cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away. "I understand." she said softly. "I know I've broken your trust, and I have to live with that. I just wanted you to know that I love you, Y/n. I will always love you. And if you never want to see me again, I'll respect that. But please don't think that I didn't care about you, because I do."

You looked away, blinking back tears. "You should go, Natasha. There's nothing more to say." Natasha nodded, her heart breaking all over again. "I'm sorry." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "For everything."

Without another word, Natasha turned and walked to the door, her steps heavy with the weight of the finality of the situation. She paused in the doorway, casting one last look at you, hoping to find something..anything that might suggest there was still a chance for you both. But your expression remained cold and distant, your eyes avoiding hers. With a heavy heart, Natasha opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. The door clicked shut behind her with a soft thud that echoed in the silence that followed. Natasha stood there for a moment, letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. She had tried, but it was over. You were right. There was nothing more to say.

Unknown to you, the case of Kinetica’s downfall was far from over. The company’s leaders were desperately trying to cover their tracks, attempting to salvage what they could. But amid the chaos, they discovered something alarming: You, one of their employees, had been the one to pass on the damning information that had led to their downfall. And now they wanted revenge.

You were alone in your apartment one evening, your thoughts drifting as you tried to focus on the book you were reading. The quiet was soothing, a respite from the whirlwind of emotions you had been grappling with. But that peace was abruptly shattered by a sudden, insistent knocking at your door. Frowning, you set the book aside and walked to the door, peering through the peephole. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw two men standing outside, men you didn’t recognize, but something about their presence immediately set off alarm bells in your head.

“Who is it?” you called out, trying to keep your voice steady despite the unease rising within you. “Delivery.” one of the men said, but there was no package in sight, and his tone was too cold, too rehearsed.

Your instincts kicked in, and you stepped away from the door, your heart racing. These weren’t delivery men..they were here for something else, something far more sinister. Panic gripped you as you realized that Kinetica must have found out what you had done. Just as you were about to reach for your phone, the door burst open with a loud crash, the two men forcing their way in. You screamed and stumbled back, your thoughts racing with fear and desperation. But before they could reach you, another figure appeared in the doorway, moving with deadly precision. Natasha.

She had been keeping an eye on your apartment since your last conversation, knowing that Kinetica might try something. When she saw the men approaching your building, she knew immediately what their target was and she wasn’t going to let them harm you. “Get away from her.” Natasha snarled, her voice cold and dangerous.

The men turned to face Natasha, but they barely had time to react before she was on them. In a blur of motion, she disarmed the first man, sending his weapon skittering across the floor. The second man lunged at her, but she easily dodged and delivered a powerful kick to his stomach, sending him crashing into the wall. You watched in stunned silence as Natasha took down the men with brutal efficiency, her movements fluid and controlled. The fight was over in seconds, the two men lying unconscious on the floor as Natasha stood over them, breathing heavily.

For a moment, the apartment was eerily silent, the only sound the ragged breaths of the two women. Your heart pounded in your chest, your mind struggling to process what had just happened. Natasha turned to you, her expression a mixture of concern and relief. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice softer now, laced with the fear she had tried to suppress.

You nodded slowly, your eyes wide as you stared at Natasha. “I..I think so..” you stammered, still trying to grasp everything. “What..what are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t leave you unprotected.” Natasha said, stepping closer, her eyes full of guilt and love. “I knew Kinetica might come after you. I couldn’t let that happen.” Your gaze flickered to the unconscious men on the floor, then back to Natasha. “You..you saved me.”

Natasha nodded, her heart aching at the vulnerability in your voice. “I will always protect you. No matter what’s happened between us, I’ll always be here for you.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Natasha, the woman who had lied to you, who had betrayed you, but who had also just saved your life. The fear and anger you had been holding onto began to waver, replaced by a deep, conflicting emotion you couldn’t fully understand. “Why?” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you.” Natasha said, her voice heavy with emotion. “I know I’ve hurt you, and I know you may never forgive me, but I had to make sure you were safe. You mean everything to me, Y/n.”

Your heart broke at the sincerity in Natasha’s voice. Despite everything, despite the lies and betrayal, Natasha’s love for you was real. And in that moment, you realized that your own feelings were just as complicated. You were angry, you were hurt, but you still loved her..more than you wanted to admit.

The two of you stood in silence, the weight of your emotions heavy in the air. Your mind raced with conflicting thoughts, torn between the betrayal you felt and the undeniable connection that still existed between you. Finally, you took a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can forgive you, Natasha..” you said quietly. “But I can’t ignore what you just did for me. You saved my life. And..and I still care about you. I don’t know what that means, but I need time to figure it out.”

Natasha nodded, tears glistening in her eyes as she looked at you. “Take all the time you need.” she whispered. “I’ll be here, no matter what you decide.” You nodded hesitantly, the storm of emotions inside you beginning to calm. “Thank you.” you said softly, your voice barely audible.

Natasha stepped back, giving you the space you needed. “I’ll take care of this.” she said, gesturing to the unconscious men on the floor. “And then I’ll go, if that’s what you want.” You looked at Natasha, your heart heavy with everything that had happened between you. “I don’t know what I want..” you admitted, your voice trembling. “But I think..I think I need to be alone right now.”

Natasha nodded, her eyes reflecting the understanding she felt, even though the pain was clear. “I understand.” she said quietly. “Just know that if you ever need anything, anything at all, I’m here.”

You didn’t respond, but the look in your eyes said enough. You stood there, watching as Natasha efficiently secured the two men, ensuring they wouldn’t pose any further threat. She worked in silence, the weight of the situation pressing down on both of you. When Natasha was finished, she stood by the door, hesitating for a moment as if searching for the right words, but then deciding against saying anything more. With one last, sorrowful glance in your direction, she turned and left your apartment, the door closing softly behind her.

You stood frozen in place, your mind reeling from everything that had just happened. The apartment, which had been filled with tension and violence just moments ago, now felt eerily quiet. Slowly, you sank onto the couch, your body trembling as the reality of the situation settled over you.

You were filled with so many conflicting emotions that it was hard to sort through them all. Anger, fear, relief, affection..they all swirled within you, and you didn’t know how to make sense of them. You had asked Natasha to leave because you weren’t sure of anything anymore. And though it felt like the right thing to do, now that she was gone, you felt a cold emptiness spreading through your chest. A part of you wanted to call her back, wanted her to stay so you could work through these chaotic feelings together. But another part of you knew that you needed time to be alone, to sort through everything that had happened between the two of you.

The night passed in a blur of thoughts and emotions, with sleep coming only in brief, restless intervals. When morning finally came, you felt just as exhausted as you had the night before. But with the new day came a certain clarity. You knew you couldn’t stay in this limbo forever. Natasha had told you that she would always be there for you, and you believed her. But the question was whether you could let her back into your life, whether you could ever trust her again.

As the day dragged on, you tried to focus on mundane tasks, but thoughts of Natasha kept intruding. Finally, after hours of agonizing, you decided you needed more information to figure out a path forward. If there was any chance of peace or understanding between you, you needed to know the whole truth. The next day, you called Natasha. She answered immediately, and you could hear the mix of hope and concern in her voice. “Y/n?”

“I want to know everything.” you said, your voice firm even as your heart raced. “I can’t move on without understanding everything. No more secrets, no more lies. If there’s any chance for us to find peace, you need to show me everything.”

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line before Natasha spoke, her voice filled with relief and caution. “I understand. I’ll take you to S.H.I.E.L.D. You’ll have access to everything, my reports, the mission files. Whatever you need to know.”

You nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Okay. When can we go?”

“Right now.” Natasha said without hesitation. “I’ll come pick you up.”

True to her word, Natasha arrived at your apartment shortly after. The drive to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building was silent, the tension between you both palpable. Natasha stole worried glances at you from time to time, but you kept your gaze fixed out the window, lost in your thoughts. When you arrived at the unassuming building that housed S.H.I.E.L.D.’s operations, Natasha guided you through a series of security checks, her presence and clearance making the process smooth. You followed her, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and curiosity. This was a world you never imagined you would be a part of.

Finally, you arrived in a large conference room. Natasha gestured for you to take a seat at the table while she went to a console on the wall and entered a series of commands. The large screen in the room flickered to life, displaying a series of files and documents. “This is everything.” Natasha said quietly, turning to face you. “My mission files, the reports I sent, the details of Kinetica’s operations. You have full access.”

You stared at the screen, your heart racing. “Why are you doing this? Why are you showing me all of this?”

“Because I owe you the truth.” Natasha replied, her voice steady but laced with emotion. “And because I want you to know that I’m not hiding anything from you anymore. I know I broke your trust, but I want to do whatever it takes to rebuild it. Even if that means showing you everything.”

The next few hours were spent going through everything, the initial mission briefing, how Natasha was assigned to get close to you to gather information on Kinetica, and how she struggled with her growing feelings for you. She explained how she tried to keep you out of harm's way even as she fulfilled her mission, and how every moment you shared, despite the circumstances, had been genuine.

You listened intently, absorbing every word, every detail. There were moments when your anger flared up again, moments when you wanted to shout at Natasha for the betrayal, for the pain she had caused. But there were also moments of understanding, moments when you saw the inner conflict Natasha had gone through, torn between her duty and her growing love for you.

When Natasha finished, she looked at you, her heart pounding in her chest. “I know this doesn’t undo the lies, but I wanted you to see that I truly cared about you. I never wanted to hurt you, Y/n.” You remained silent for a long time, processing everything you had learned. You felt raw, exposed, but also strangely relieved. This was what you had needed. the full truth, with nothing held back.

Finally, you looked at Natasha, your expression unreadable. “You were honest with me today, Natasha, and I can feel that. For the first time, I feel like I’m really seeing you..with all your strengths and flaws, with all your mistakes.” Natasha nodded, her voice soft as she responded, “That’s all I wanted. To be honest with you, even if it costs me everything.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples as you tried to organize your thoughts. “I don’t know where we go from here, Natasha. I don’t know if I can ever fully trust you again. But..I see that you’re trying. And that means something.” Natasha felt a small spark of hope ignite in her chest, but she didn’t dare let it grow too large. “Thank you, Y/n. That’s more than I deserve.”

You looked at Natasha, your eyes filled with a mix of sadness and something that resembled hope. "Maybe it’s a start. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but at least now I know the truth. And that’s more than I had before.”

Natasha nodded, her heart heavy, but she was grateful. “Whatever happens, I’m here. If you need space, I’ll give you that. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. I won’t go away.” You managed a small, tired smile. “I guess we’ll just have to see where this takes us.”

You both left the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters together, the tension between you eased but the future still uncertain. As you stepped out into the bright afternoon sun, Natasha glanced at you, and for the first time in weeks, she felt a cautious spark of hope. You caught her glance and sighed. “It’s going to take time, Natasha. I don’t know if things can ever be the way they were, but.. we can find something new. Something honest.”

Natasha nodded, her heart swelling with emotion. “That’s what I’d like.” As you walked side by side, the past still loomed over you, but for the first time, there was a path forward..a path that might lead to healing, to forgiveness, and maybe even to a future where you could rebuild what had been broken. The road ahead would be difficult, full of challenges and doubts, but you had taken the first step together. And for now, that was enough.

[juju-or-anya]

It's hard not to find irony in the criticisms directed towards Eloise Bridgerton and the elevation of Penelope Featherington as a more genuine and hardworking figure in contrast with Eloise's supposed privileged circumstances and her discourse on feminism. Indeed, some voices have pointed out Eloise's feminism as something white and privileged, and while this is not without merit, it's akin to rediscovering what others have already noticed, akin to Christopher Columbus "discovering" America.

Understanding the context in which "Bridgerton" unfolds is essential. The series is set in Regency England, between 1813 and 1825. This historical period is marked by a highly stratified and conservative society, where women, especially those of the upper class, were relegated to traditional roles and lacked basic legal rights. In this context, any discussion of feminism must consider the unique limitations and challenges of the time.

It is true that Eloise Bridgerton, being part of a respected family in English nobility, embodies many of the characteristics associated with the white and privileged feminism of the time. However, this should not diminish the value of her role in advancing feminist ideas in her historical context. It is thanks to women like Eloise, who challenged social expectations and dared to question the status quo, that doors were opened for future, more inclusive feminist movements.

On the other hand, when analyzing Penelope Featherington's role in contrast with Eloise Bridgerton's, intriguing nuances worthy of a more detailed critical exploration are revealed. Although both come from upper-class families, Penelope's experiences differ significantly from Eloise's. In the society depicted in "Bridgerton," Penelope is portrayed as a more marginal figure, overshadowed by the prominence and glamour of the Bridgerton family. She is often seen in the background, struggling to find her place in a world where her social status does not put her at the center of attention.

Throughout the series, Penelope exhibits a distressing lack of empathy and solidarity towards other women. Instead of fostering unity and support among her peers, her writings are propelled by feelings of envy, resentment, and desires for revenge. Striking examples of this include her actions to publicly reveal Marina Thompson's pregnancy, intending to undermine her relationship with Colin Bridgerton, or defaming individuals such as Daphne, Edwina, and Kate Sharma, often with no apparent reason other than personal gain.

Penelope's behavior as Lady Whistledown sheds light on her complex nature and motivations. While it may represent an attempt to find her voice in a world dominated by more powerful figures, it also reveals a tendency towards manipulation and selfishness. Ultimately, her role as the mysterious chronicler is more than just a quest for identity; it is a reflection of the moral and ethical complexities underlying the society of "Bridgerton."

In summary, asserting that Penelope is more feminist and hardworking than Eloise due to her role as Lady Whistledown is, at best, simplistic and, at worst, deeply misleading. Both women, while privileged in their own right, have chosen different paths in life and have faced their own challenges. However, the narrative of Penelope as a morally superior and more genuinely hardworking figure should be questioned in light of her actions and motivations, which often reveal a lack of integrity and empathy towards her peers.

It's important to note that when Theo confronts Eloise, questioning her understanding of the real world and her privileged position, Eloise doesn't reject this criticism but uses it as a catalyst to seek greater understanding. Recognizing the validity of Theo's observation, Eloise actively seeks to broaden her horizons. She engages in conversations with Theo and John, seeking to break free from the bubble of privilege in which she has lived so far.

On the other hand, Penelope takes a different stance towards her own privileged position. Instead of acknowledging her situation and seeking to understand the realities of those less privileged, Penelope vehemently denies any suggestion that she also benefits from the system. Rather than accepting her position of privilege, she portrays herself as a victim, despite her actions suggesting otherwise. Ultimately, this divergence in attitudes between Eloise and Penelope highlights the complexity of individual perceptions of privilege and personal responsibility in an unequal world.

PS: The comment: "Penelope saved Eloise by writing that she hung out with radicals, she doesn't know what it's like to be grateful" is shit. Whose fucking fault is it that the Queen is on a crusade with torches and pitchforks, looking for blood and a rolling head? From Penelope because she doesn't know when to keep her hand still and stop writing, if it weren't for Penelope, the queen wouldn't think that Eloise is Lady Whistledown, Penelope wasn't looking to help Eloise, she was looking to save her skin.

[akanemnon]

Hey akane friendly reminder to drink water, also what's the hardest part of drawing? Have a great day!

Thanks for the reminder, anon. I'll get to work on that once I'm actually awake, since this question goes up at 4 in the morning over here lol

As for your question, there is no de facto, one-size-fits-all answer to this question. That is all dependent on YOUR skill level and the piece you are trying to draw.

As you progress as an artist you naturally tackle challenges along the way that seem incredibly hard to you. But the more you do it, you start to realize how easy they become.

A very classic example is drawing hands. Because that is something most young artists struggle with. There is a phase that most go through where they try to avoid drawing hands by drawing a character with their arms angled behind their back. That is a completely normal phase you go through and you don't have to be ashamed for doing it. BUT (and that is a big but) once you feel confident enough, I emplore you to try and draw those hands. It is scary and you won't have any idea what you're doing, but it is IMPORTANT that you do it if you want to improve. There is ZERO shame in failure. Because through failure, you reflect and learn.

The more you do it, the easier it gets. And that's how you can tackle every challenge. It makes things like drawing backgrounds, different angles and extremely advanced stuff like foreshortening a little less daunting. Because you can get through that. You just have to prove it to yourself.

I do need to stress though that you don't have to challenge yourself with every single drawing. Ultimately, you should always draw for yourself and for your own entertainment. Decompress! Have fun with it! Art is not a chore. YOU decide at what pace you want to progress.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Four: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, sexual content, pervy behavior, male masturbation, panty kink, sex daydreams [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin is doing his very best, he just loves you and wants you to be comfy around him. Just let him worm his way into your heart babe [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. I’m illiterate so apologies in advance MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: July 8th

Mr. Nelson’s funeral was today, it really was a beautiful ceremony as I look back on it. Even more so when my inner self smears the background enough to bring you to the front of the mental image.

You’d spoken to the man a handful of times, but I didn’t expect you to come. When I saw you accept the invite to the event on Facebook I thought surely it was a mistake. That was until you messaged Luke and asked him to accompany you, funerals make you nervous, but feeling obligated to do something and avoiding it makes you more nervous.

So your moral support was happy to attend and fight off dear old Alan’s corpse should he rise from the casket and set his sights on you.

And I though I had irrational fears, geez babydoll, how old were you when you watched Night of The Living Dead for the first time? If I had to guess it was too young. It’s alright though I get it, you know what movie traumatized me? The Mummy. Heebied my fucking Jeebies so bad I avoided the beach on family vacations.

You’re telling me there’s not a sarcophagus under all that sand? There’s at least one under there and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Solid ground for me only, please and thank you.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I had a thought that I initially considered to be a sweet reminder of my dear friend Alan. His obituary was in the newspaper and I happened to swipe one from the guest book table at the viewing as well. Have you ever scrapbooked before? I bet you’ve at least tried it.

Well I thought it would be nice to make him a page in my journal. A little celebration of life for the man who gave me an opportunity to grow and nurture my love for you.

Then I realized mid-glue stick on the newspaper clipping that the idea was something that a clinically insane person would do.

I’m not that guy. That guy’s not me.

But the glue was already on there and it felt wrong to toss Alan’s wrinkly old face into the trash so I pasted him into my journal anyway.

Crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy. I’m well aware that little idea was less than tasteful, just felt like I should mention that.

Date:

July 28th

Anakin Skywalker hadn’t been this happy since… ever. The previous record being his discovery of you, was now toppled into second place and overshadowed by ‘Move In Day’.

He could hardly contain himself. It was a dopamine high that he would ride out until he’d drained every last drop.

The movers lugged in box after box, furniture and books, until finally they dropped off the last load and thanked Anakin for the business. He eagerly shook their hand and shoved them out. He had preparations to make.

He set up his Tv, screen mirroring the live feed of the apartment building entrance to the big screen so that he could easily keep an eye out for you while he unpacked his kitchen.

He’d planned your ‘meet-cute’ meticulously, looking to your bookshelf and streaming services to gather intel on your ideal scenario. You were an odd bird, but he liked that about you. It’s part of your charm, it’s part of the challenge. You’re not as predictable in your tastes and interests as others can be.

Anakin formulated the interaction step by step, frame by frame in the storyboard of his imagination until he had the perfect scene. His box office hit that he’d replay over and over again until the next time he stood face to face with you.

It took quite some time and a load of practice. Discarded dialogue, awkward movements that made him feel stiff and less than human when he practiced them in the mirror. Endless options of clothes, shoes, and hair.

Should he get a new piercing? He wanted to. So he did, he knew you’d like it.

It’d match the one he already had on the opposite nostril. It made him feel more complete to add something so permanent to his body, he wished he could do something similar with you. He wanted you to be permanent, so maybe it’s his subconscious’s way of telling him that this was going in the right direction.

He was on the right path. His journey of life alone was coming to a close and a new trail would reveal itself. No more rocky, unsteady tread. No more sharp turns and blind spots, no more impossible inclines.

Scraped knees and bloodied hands would be distant memories. Maybe even distant enough that he could toss them into The Pit.

He would have no need for anger or sorrow anymore.

How could he feel anything but the warm embrace of love as he strolled down the flowered path ahead with you?

Who knew that you could position one box in 83 different ways and hate every single one of them? Anakin was so thankful there weren’t any actual surveillance cameras in the apartment building. It’d be really difficult to explain why he was in the hallway for an hour with his hands on his hips, scooting a box of books a centimeter or two at a time. Turning it sideways and then making sure the book on top was perfectly positioned and would effectively fall to the ground to catch your attention.

He checked his watch nonstop, stared at his Tv screen, willing you to just hurry the fuck up before he vomited from anxiety. He’d waited months for this. If he fucked it up now he’d… well he’d probably keel over on the spot.

Which would promptly traumatize you and not even his ghost would be able to peacefully haunt you. It’s hard to peacefully haunt someone if they watched you die, or at least Anakin assumed it would be difficult. He wasn’t willing to test that theory though.

So, he puffed up his chest and walked back into his apartment and rehearsed the upcoming conversation a few more times. He needed, desperately needed to ensure his facial expressions conveyed what he wanted.

Soft, trustworthy, dependable, safe, caring.

He practiced softening his eyes, knowing sometimes he stared alittle too hard. He worked on his facial fidget; chewing on the inside of his cheek was a quick tell of his nervousness. He didn’t want to be perceived as nervous, he wanted to be confident and sure of himself so that you would be confident in your soon to blossom affection for him.

His eyebrows, that’s a hard one, but he’d meticulously watched bar goers trying to flirt. The successful ones he learned, sometimes use their eyebrows in place of questions or words. A difficult concept, but one he studied until he mastered it.

Now, the other facial expressions and mannerisms… he gathered that information from your watch lists on your streaming services. For the visible examples at least, but your books were just as helpful in describing how he should approach you, speak to you, and simply exist near you.

He hadn’t realized these things were this important until now. Standing and posture was surprisingly very, very important to women. As well as hand movements and subtle glances and minuscule changes of expression.

You were worth the time and effort it took to learn all of it. He’d read and research and practice until he couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror any longer. He was determined to make sure you were happy with the results.

He was startled by a loud ping, someone had entered to building and holy shit it was you.

Anakin shook out his hands frantically, remembering the breathing techniques he’d learned as a child, he grounded himself quickly.

It’s okay.

‘She’s gonna love you. She’ll warm up to you quickly, you know everything you need to know about her to make her comfortable and loved.’

‘There’s no way she won’t fall head over heels.’

He smoothed out his band-tee and ran his hands through his hair quickly and headed to his door that was propped open slightly. A few boxes sat in the hall, including the most important one, the one instrumental to his plan.

The apartment hallway was ridiculously tiny, which worked in his favor in this situation.

He heard you come up the stairs, counted your steps until he knew you were almost at the door, 17 and a half steps. Then he swung open the door and bent down to grab one of the boxes.

As expected, he startled you and you dropped your keys. You always wore your backpack on one shoulder, one strap. So when you quickly went to scoop up your keys, your bag swung out of place and toppled a few books from one of the boxes.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Anakin could gloat to himself about his magnificent setup later, right now he needed to woo you with his sweet words.

“Oh, sweetheart I’m sorry.” He said softly, coming over to offer you a hand up.

“It’s okay, my bad.” You laughed, taking his hand.

He managed to keep calm and collected despite his insides boiling him alive at the willing skin contact.

“No, not at all. It’s my fault for startling you like that.” He chuckled, squeezing your upper arm and using his hand already in yours to give you a small handshake. Smooth.

“I’m Anakin.” He said with a bashful smile, dropping your hand and reveling in the lingering warmth your palm left on his.

You introduced yourself in return, gesturing to his apartment door.

“So I take it that you’re my new neighbor huh?” You said, making small talk as you crouched down to pick up the books you’d knocked over.

“No I’m just a one man moving crew.” He grinned.

“Very funny.” You laughed, standing up as you looked through the titles. “Hmm, you’ve got good taste.”

“You think so?” He asked, remembering to make his eyebrows swoop up toward the middle of his forehead to give a quizzical look.

“Oh yeah, this is one of my favorites.” You said, showing him the cover of The Silmarillion by Tolkien.

“Not many people actually read that one, I’m impressed.” He smiled.

“Impressed? Yeah well I’m jealous.” You laughed.

“What?” He chuckled, holding his hands out to take the other books from you.

“This is a really nice edition, it’s similar to mine. I recently lost it.” You sighed. “I think I must’ve left it the park or maybe it fell out of my bag or something.”

“Ah, that sucks… well, I mean I’ve read that one a few times now. It’s been well loved.” He said tipping the books in his arms toward the one you were holding. “Why don’t you keep it?”

He shrugged, acting nonchalant as though this didn’t mean the entire world to him and if you said no he’d sob about it later.

“You’re serious?” You asked in surprise, he was offering you a 50$ special edition book and you’d barely known him for a minute.

“Yeah, ‘course sweetheart.” He said with a cute, crooked smile. “Think of it as a… reverse house warming gift.” He chuckled.

“Thank you, I- this means a lot to me.” You said, grinning widely. “That’s real sweet of you Anakin. I owe you one.”

“No worries.” He chuckled, “I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it even sweetheart.” His gaze flickered quickly from your eyes to your lips, and he turned to go back into his apartment after giving you an almost-missed wink.

You stepped inside your home, and went straight to the bookshelf to put your new-to-you book where it belonged. After the fact you stood there and buffered, just staring at it.

‘There’s no way, this guy has to be too good to be true.’

But he seemed… so genuine. He didn’t ogle you, he didn’t make you feel weird or like he just felt obligated to speak to you.

He seemed to actually, really be a good guy.

Rare. Few and far of those exist in this day and age. It’s uncommon to meet someone who would do something, even as simple as giving you a used book, without expecting anything in return.

But he didn’t seem to expect anything. He didn’t seem to even expect a thank you, it was like he’d already decided he would give it to you before he even offered.

What are the odds that a hot, tattooed and pierced man moves in next door and gifts you an expensive book that just so happens to be an even better replacement for the one that you just lost? That couldn’t happen twice even if you tried to make it happen again.

What kind of second dimension did you step into? The land of dreamy men?

Diary Entry: July 28th

It’s late. But I have to write to you, it can’t wait til tomorrow.

Everything went more perfectly than I could’ve imagined. Thank you so much for being you sweet girl. It made my job of curating the scenery so much easier, you clumsy little thing. I am sorry for having to spook you though, but it worked didn’t it?

Research pays off. Always.

And of course there’s the issue of your book, I hated to see your frustration and your mad scowl when you realized it was missing from your backpack. I really did.

But I’d do it every goddamn day if I knew I’d get the same reaction out of you from giving you that new copy.

Oh god you’re… you’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You look angelic when you sleep but you look like competition for Aphrodite when you smile at me.

You smiled, grinned. You smiled all the way up to the corners of your bright and beautiful eyes. For me.

You even laughed for me.

It was so sweet I could taste it. The honey of your voice, I could fucking bathe in it. Just the sound of you speaking, knowing you were speaking to me. Really speaking to me.

In the flesh.

It’s intoxicating. It’s emboldening, it’s dangerous. I’ve never been more worked up in my life. I’m torn all to pieces from at two minute and 6 second conversation.

I think I’ll have to fucking recover from this like a damn hangover.

But what has me so drunk you might ask? Was it your laugh at my stupid jokes? Was it your perfect smile, your radiant glow, your soulful eyes? The softness of your skin or you willingness to let me touch you?

No baby. It’s how you said my name.

I wish I could’ve stayed longer, I wish I could’ve spoken to you more. But it’s so hard to concentrate when my dick is leaking precum down my leg at a rate that should probably be concerning.

The minute you closed that door I shoved those boxes into my apartment and locked the door. Took my elated ass straight to the couch and watched you in your living room, admiring your gift from me while I fucked my fist with a pair of your dirty panties in my mouth.

I couldn’t have your honeyed lips soothing my angry red cock just yet, but I sure as hell could imagine licking your gorgeous little cunt while I tasted you.

I tugged my balls and pumped my cock for over half an hour until I was a fucking mess for you in my new living room’s floor. The cool hardwood letting the heat from my flushed skin seep away from me as I came back down to earth.

I made myself dizzy. Didn’t give myself a break, didn’t slow down, just stroked my cock like the desperate little manwhore that I am for you. The only thing missing was you being there to watch me fall apart.

I think you’d like that wouldn’t you? Watching a man like me get on his knees and beg for you?

Diary Entry: July 29th

I’ve replayed that moment in my head for hours on end. The beginning always stays the same, but the ending… that’s been subject to many changes. It started off simple, we’d chat alittle longer, I’d ask you how your day was; you’d tell me it was ‘fine, thank you’.

Or you’d ask me why I decided to move in, why I chose this side of town, this side of town, this apartment building, across from you. That one always ended questionably and I’d rather not explore that one on paper.

My favorites however were the ones where you’d laugh at a stupid pick-up line and somehow we’d end up in your bed. The bed I’ve sat and watched you sleep in. Those were the best additions.

Now, I’ve been fortunate enough that you’ve been loyal, faithful and devoted to only me since the very beginning. So I don’t really have a clue what you’d actually be like in bed.

But god it’s so fun to imagine it.

You’ve got such pretty, soft skin. You let me mar it up with my teeth and soothe it with my tongue. You let me grip the pillowy flesh of your thighs to spread you open for me. You let me pinch and roll and pull your nipples until they were raw and begging for a break. You let me caress the sensitive slick covered folds between those beautiful pussy lips, plunge my fingers in as far as they’d go.

I took you from behind, watching your perky little ass bounce off my cock while I plowed into you. Your face smushed against the couch cushions and your body folded over the arm rest for me to fuck you like the good little girl that you are.

Against the wall with your arms around my neck while I’ve got my hands holding you spread open and in place by the crook of your knees. You promised you stay real still so that I could drill up into you like you deserved.

God damn. Do you know how good you look like that? Back arched against the wall, tits jiggling in my face with every thrust. Your legs pushed up and back to the sides of your torso, to pin you in place?

It was like a pretty pink flower had bloomed and spread its buttery smooth petals just for me.

Don’t even get me started on how good you suck cock. Have you ever been told you could be mistaken for a warm, wet Hoover? No? Didn’t think so cause that would be rude as hell, but I bet someone’s thought it before.

(Me. It’s me, I thought that.)

Fuck those soft lips. Fuck that smooth snake of a tongue. Fuck that tight, hot throat that just loves to take a beating from my dick.

Can’t wait to prove my imagination right.

Speaking of, my dick has been beat. Like actually. If one didn’t know any better they’d assume it’s on life support, but I’m a freak of nature. Cumming upwards of 16 times in the span of 40ish hours would probably put a weaker man in a hospital bed. Or maybe a psych ward.

But I am not a weak man even if my dick feels raw. I’d still fuck you if you asked.

I’d be curious to know if I’d be able to stave off cumming longer from all the abuse or if I’d be so fucking sensitive that I wouldn’t make it in half an inch.

Probably the latter.

Diary Entry: August 2nd

Being so close to you is killing me. Truly it is.

You’ve sunken your claws so deeply into my very soul and you don’t even realize it. It’s torture. To you, I’m just the new guy, nice dude who gave you a book. But to me? You’re my entire world.

I’ve been told I have the personality of a guard dog. Soft and squishy on the inside, dangerous and fierce on the outside. Which I suppose could be true, but really I think it’s for a different reason. For a human, a dog is one small but very impactful blip in your life. But for the dog? You are it’s life.

Am I comparing myself to a dog right now? Yes I am.

I’ll beg for you to throw me the scraps of your affections until you finally toss me a bone.

Bark.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I’ve been trying my best to give you space. To plan accordingly and in advance. I have our next two interactions simmering on the back burner.

I know that if I go too hard, too fast, you’ll be overwhelmed. That’s the last thing I want. I never want to be the thing that causes you stress, I want to siphon it from you. So, in one week I will set out to help you with a few of your errands and plant a few seeds.

But until then, we have late night snacks and couch chats with Boogie.

I’ve also been doing- you guessed it- more research to do with helpful vitamins and medicines. You’ve responded so well to your SleepyTime tea and since I’ve started making sure your birth control packet is plainly visible in the countertop basket directly beneath that cabinet, you’ve been taking it so well.

I’m so proud of you sweetheart, that’s my girl, look at you taking care of yourself. You’ve done so well in fact, that it’s in my personal opinion that you have earned a very special reward.

Anakin sat on his couch, the live feed of your living room screen mirrored to his Tv. He was watching you cook dinner, he knew you’d be making a stir fry. He’d seen it in your planner, so he’d taken the liberty of ordering himself the same, it’d be here any minute. As would your good friend Sam.

Anakin had originally burned red hot with jealousy at the thought of you inviting a man over to your apartment, that he hadn’t vetted via social media and a quick drop-in. But he was relieved to discover that Sam was just a girl from your book club.

This wasn’t one of his well thought out plans, this was decided upon this morning after you’d returned from book club. So, he was anxious to see if his hunches served him well. Sam seemed like a punctual gal, at least from what he’d seen on social media and the text messages between the two of you from weeks/months before.

Anakin had the wonderful idea to log into your cell service providers website to pull your deleted messages from their data bank. You really should have better passwords.

The thing he was most worried about was his door dasher arriving on time. It was rare that one was too far off on arrival time, but it would be his shit luck and lack of planning that could ruin this little glimpse of you.

The minutes ticked by and he was alerted to the new motion sensors he’d placed near the LED pathway lights on the paved entrance to the apartment building. He quickly switched over to the hallway feed at the front door, seeing that it was his door dasher.

Damn you Trevor. How dare you get there before Sam.

Not to worry, he’d call for the door code and Anakin wouldn’t answer the first time. It wasn’t much but it would buy him a few seconds.

Though it seemed to be that luck was on his side as it often was when it came to you. Sam was so kind, kind enough to let the delivery guy into the building. Which is technically a security concern but Trevor didn’t seem like the type of guy who’d be able to remember a 6 digit door code.

He was too busy staring at your friends ass to pay attention to the numbers she entered anyway.

The footsteps approached your door and his, Anakin waited until he heard Sam knock on your door before he opened his. Trevor stood patiently as Anakin slowly counted out his tip in cash and thankfully you were quick to let your friend inside. After the exchange was complete Anakin gave you a smile and wave.

He could’ve had a heart attack at the response you gave him.

A flirty little finger waggle and smile.

He had to remind himself to breathe and keep his expression a happy-neutral. He’d hate for you to see his blushing cheeks this early on.

“Have a good night girls.” He said as he closed his door and to his surprise you actually answered.

“You too!”

If he weren’t confident that you were a sweet and loving soul, he’d think you were trying to kill him with the siren song of your voice.

Stir fry had never tasted so fucking good.

Diary Entry: July 8th

Grocery day baby, here I come.

I love that you’re so predictable. I love that you’re so fucking cute and always try to strong arm your groceries in one trip. I love that it takes at least two good whacks to the trunk of your shitty old Nissan to properly close it.

It’s cute to watch you struggle with it, the annoyed huffs and angry scowl.

I thought you’d combust on the spot once when your paper grocery bag of flour and sugar ripped open and sent a plume of flour up on your black jeans. The parking lot was very empty and I was very glad because I’d hate for someone to have seen the cursing contest you had with yourself as you picked up your spilled items. Very unladylike you know. But it’s you so I don’t mind, I just like to hear you talk.

It’s almost time. I’ve been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes. Gotta account for the traffic on highway 76. Do you really have to shop all the way out there just because of the Whole Foods? C’mon baby they have the same shit at Kroger.

I’ve been watching your little blue dot on my phone and you’re rounding the corner so I’ll write you later doll.

I love you.

You pulled into the parking lot and sat in your car for a moment. Giving yourself the much need quiet to decompress from your work day and the grocery trip. After you’d checked your messages and scrolled for a moment you decided it was time to head inside before your frozen foods got… not so frozen.

You popped the trunk and fumbled with the faulty latch, your fingers feeling blindly under the metal lip until it finally detached and you were able to open the trunk.

You took a deep breath and scolded yourself for buying the extra few things that could’ve waited till next time. Second trips are for wimps and you weren’t one. So you loaded up your left arm bag by bag until you heard a humored puff of air and the beep of a car locking behind you.

“Need a hand sweetheart?” Anakin grinned, shoving his keys into his front pocket.

He waltzed over and took a few bags off your hands without waiting for a response. It took you aback, not because he hadn’t waited for permission, but because of the way he exuded an odd charm that made you falter.

“Anakin, really it’s alright I can get it.” You said, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion by his kind gesture.

“Mmm no, this seems like a two man mission sweet girl.” He smiled, gathering up a few the last few bags from the trunk and shutting it with one solid push.

“You really don’t have to-“

“I know I don’t have to.” He said tilting his head toward the apartment building to encourage you to walk with him. “I want to.”

“Thank you, that’s… thanks.” You smiled, a light blush creeping across your cheeks.

“Atta girl.” He chuckled, tapping in the door code and holding it open for you despite holding many more bags than you.

Something about the low tone of voice or maybe just the way he looked at you with his icey blue eyes… just sent a chill down your spine. A quick one that was gone in an instant, replaced by a warm glow in the center of your chest.

“Guess chivalry’s not dead.” You joked.

“I’m no knight.” He laughed, “but you’re sure as hell a princess.”

‘Oh that was smooth.’ You thought, trying to ignore the heat at the bottom of your stomach.

What is happening? How on earth can one man be so… everything? Kind, caring, chivalrous and gorgeous to boot.

You felt a wave of embarrassment at the squeaky giggle you let out. He had you tore up from one little comment.

True to the gentleman he seemed to be, he chose not to push it and tease you about your beet red cheeks. He just waited patiently for you as you unlocked your door.

“Do you want me to bring these in for you?” He asked, watching your movements closely.

“Oh that would be great.” You said in relief, leading him into your kitchen.

“Cute little place.” He said, looking around the kitchenette and over to the living room.

He sat down your bags on the counter and started unloading them neatly into rows.

“Oh, you-“

“Mmm mmm.” He shook his head with a smirk, “Just let me help, it’s no big deal.”

You let out a puff of air in an amused sort of amazement and pulled out your little step stool to open up the cabinets. Anakin snickered from behind you as you stepped up and started putting things away.

You shot him a glare over your shoulder and almost said something snarky until you realized he was folding your paper grocery bags in the same way that you always do.

“Huh.” You laughed. “I thought I was the only one who did that.”

“Did what?” He asked, his head cocked to the side.

“Fold the bags.” You said, turning back around to continue placing your things where they belonged.

“Oh,” he chuckled, “I dunno it’s just a habit I guess. Fits better in that stupid slot on the recycling bin this way.”

“Yeah I never really understood why they made them that way? I guess so people don’t just shove other trash in there.” You mused.

“Mmhm probably.” He agreed, stacking them neatly and gathering it in his hands. “Do you want me to take these out back for you?”

“I can do-“ You stopped yourself when Anakin raised his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side with a crooked smirk.

You sighed and gave him a downturned smile. “Yes, I would love for you to take them out back for me.”

“Good girl.” He nodded, clicking his tongue and heading for the door. “See ya princess.”

After he shut the door you let yourself breathe alittle easier, blowing out the air in a short puff through your nose. Maybe even letting a little smile cross your lips before you finished up your task.

You’d be thinking about that low rumble of his voice later. Good girl? Shit.

PART FIVE

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