#adopteevoices

[kaomigee]

Season 7, Episode 17: Nik Nadeau - Meeting My Birth Mother

Writer, poet, husband and Korean adoptee Nik Nadeau, 36, talks about how writing has helped him find inner layers of himself and uncover memories. And of how he is unlocking feelings towards his birth mother over the years. Audio available April 26, 2024. Special thanks to Jacquelyn Wells for original music.

[captainhannie13]

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ˚｡ ࣪ ˖ ⋆｡˚ ⊹ ˖ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ˚｡⋆ ⊹ ⋆ ☽｡ ˚ ⊹ ☁︎ ࣪ ˖

Han | Six and Twenty | UK

#AdopteeVoices, ASD, EUPD

🦋bluesky: captainhannie13

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏𓊝﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Ahoy there, prepare for organised chaos - you can also find me #yapping in the sideblogs:

feetintherocks - The Vampire Chronicles🩸

bringingmehome - Fantasy/Period TV⚜️

okillbite - Movies 🎟️

closureclosure - Music (primarily Swiftie) ✨

looktocamera - Sitcoms 🎥

pumpinandblowin - Musicals 🎭

thornsbeforeroses - Mental Health 🌪️

˚｡𓆝｡˚𓆟 ｡𓆞 𓆝 ｡˚𓆟˚ 𓆝｡˚𓆟 ｡𓆞 𓆝 ｡˚𓆟˚ 𓆞

[thoughtlessdelineation]

I’m something yet nothing and everything, said the child of another.

#adoption #adopteevoices #sendinglove #familypreservation

Sending love to those who were supposed to be in my life, and the ones that were and the ones who chose not to be.

[convos-about-adoption]

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1SAe6HBYpqAgpE1277Bl5y?si=KFisI0qvQkOPWK3kjp9cXw

#podcast #adoption #author #adopteevoices

[gregsantospoet]

I realized that I never got a chance to post about having my work featured in ‘Out of the Shadows of Angkor: Cambodian Poetry, Prose, and Performance Through the Ages.’ Published in Fall 2022 through Manoa Journal (@manoa_journal), this groundbreaking anthology features over 400 pages of Cambodian writing in translation into English, as well as works by contemporary Cambodian and its diaspora writers. As a Cambodian transracial adoptee, having three poems from my book, Ghost Face, as well as a short explanatory essay included in this anthology means the world to me. I am learning how to embrace and reclaim my Cambodian ancestry everyday, combining it with my Portuguese, Spanish, and Canadian upbringing. So it is an honour and humbling to be featured alongside many Cambodian and diaspora writers that I admire and revere. Many thanks to the anthology’s editors for putting their trust and support in me and my writing. 🙏🏾 . . . #gregsantos #gregsantospoetry #ghostfacepoetry #manoajournal #cambodian #poetry #bookstagram #intheshadowsofangkor #writingcommunity #khmer #adopteevoices (at Montreal, Quebec) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7faogpZFMqEj60Ry7gk8fa51iBYqI2Hcp4s80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[openadoptionfamilyservices]

During this National Adoption Awareness Month, we are highlighting a few of the many adoptees who have publicly shared their informed perspectives. We are grateful for their voices, and we continue to learn so much from each of them. Visit https://aprildinwoodie.com/ to hear more.

[itschristaleeann]

People Always Leave?

Remember that theme for Peyton Sawyer in One Tree Hill, “People Always Leave”? One Tree Hill is a show I hold close to my heart and have seen at least five or six times all the way through, but I never fully understood why her character meant so much to me. Yeah, I knew she was adopted like I am but it never fully clicked, that is until I came out of the fog about my adoption.

If you’re not an adoptee, you may not understand what coming out of the fog is. It basically means that you come to terms of what your adoption means and your feelings towards it. We’re told to be grateful, that we’re lucky, that we got this amazing life but, we all realize we were separated or abandoned by our biological family, RIGHT?  Whatever the circumstances were, you’re still not with the family who created you, and that kinda sucks. Even if you were technically better off being adopted. That’s trauma. It’s heartbreaking.

You miss out on so much and you’re always wondering why you feel so different. Why you don’t feel like you fit in anywhere.

And let’s be real here, Peyton Sawyer is not the only adoptee or adoption or abandonment  story in a TV show or movie. There’s so many. Bones, This Is Us, Call The Midwife, and so many more that have storylines on this. And if there’s one that specifically applies to you or you feel more connected to, I’d love to hear about it.

But Peyton’s for me hits closer to me because I see a lot of myself in her. Grew up as an only child. Blonde curly hair. Our personalities. How she copes even with grief and hardships. I see it.

Anyway, back to Peyton’s storyline. Peyton was dealing with the loss of her adoptive mother because she ran a red light and was killed. Her adoptive father had a job that required him to be away a lot. She finally meets her biological mother who eventually dies from cancer. Her biological father is a drunk. She meets her half brother. People in her life came and went and the pain of losing both mothers in her life hits differently for me now. The realization that I one day will lose both of my mothers. Even in the joy that adoption brings for the parents, it’s tragic for the child. We have to go through double the grief and heartbreak.

Our stories do differ in one area. It is that she didn’t know she was adopted growing up and finding it out when she was a teenager. Not a great time to find out. We all know being a teenager is hard. I’m fortunate that I knew my whole life. My adoptive parents did do that right. Not telling your kid they were adopted is like trying to hide a dirty secret or dirty laundry. Really not okay. We’re not here for your pride or to be a replacement child when we didn’t have a choice on who raised us or even being born.

It’s no wonder adoptees have trust and abandonment issues. And in the show, it plays out that way a lot for her. People coming and going, dying even. And yeah, most people would say that’s a part of life or maybe think it’s a little sad. But it’s a whole other level for her and me. I truly feel her pain and relate so hard. This show helped me see that.

It helps me know that I’m not alone in how I feel, even if people come and go in my life. And I have, especially during the pandemic. It’s been hard to let go of people I thought would always be in my life or maybe the possibility of entering my life. It’s hard to know that I’ll never fully develop a connection to my biological family in a way you develop family relationships over a lifetime. Maybe that’ll change or maybe it won’t. I can’t answer that, but I hope it does.

But I am trying though. Peyton did too. We had open (but protected and sometimes tough exteriors) hearts to let people in, even if they left or hurt us. We’re constantly nursing our broken hearts, hoping that someday that we can heal and move on but if only it were that easy.

But the ones who stayed are the ones who we hold so close. That’s tragic the beauty of all this pain. We can see easily who’s important to us and who’s only here for a period of time.

I have a handful of people in my life who I call my close circle. Like the quote from the movie Lilo & Stitch “This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”

And if you’re reading this as a friend or family member of an adoptee and you’ve stayed in their lives in a positive way and are close, know the immense amount of trust and fondness we have in you.

So if you’re an adoptee who’s just coming out of the fog, late discovery, dealing with loss, abandonment, just know you’re not crazy for feeling the way you do.

Remember:

You’re valid.

You matter.

It’s okay to be angry.

There is beauty and you’re part of that beauty.

Take a deep breath.

Hold onto the people who stay, they’re the realest.

And most importantly, know you’re loved. ❤️

[theremina]

"The adoption industry is a for-profit, multibillion-dollar industry that makes its money by exploiting families in crisis where babies are the commodity. We grow up, and we are asking you to sit with us in the discomfort and keep listening."

~Ferera Swan

[kaomigee]

Season 7, Episode 11: Rachel Forbes, LSCW, and the 3Fs (of Disregulated Trauma Responses)

This week, I talk with Rachel Forbes, LCSW, an Korean-American adoptee therapist and educator. We discuss trauma that occurs in the womb and from early parent separation, and emotional disregulation. Forbes, 34, talks about healing techniques and provides a lot of great resources too.  CW: child molestation/incest/sexual abuse 

[gloombby]

i genuinely believe my parents were not supposed to be parents. don’t they ever figure maybe they weren’t able to biologically have children for a reason. they’re not good parents and i can’t wait till i have money to leave and never have to talk/be near them ever again.

[namelessadoptee]

I know there are new adoptee legislations in place but honestly, I can shake it. I was adopted 31 years ago by an upper class family and I still managed to be abused my whole life.

I wonder how many adoptees even today with these new legislations fall through the cracks.

No one ever thinks to check up on us because no one ever thinks about the adoptee once they are adopted. It is absolutely disgusting.

You have no idea what goes on for some of us because of this. The pain, the abuse, the trauma. Let alone our adoption trauma.

[symptoms-syndrome]

I’ve created a new blog for adoptees! It’s @actuallyadopted. Anyone is welcome to follow, including friends and family of adoptees. If anyone would like to help me moderate they can DM, and if anyone has anything they’d like to submit/ask I welcome it! I hope it can be a helpful and healing space for adoptees.

[theadoptionsquad]

Episode 25 -Dad-iversary

Mary reflects on the devastation of her dad's death that would leave her forever changed.She also pieces together the events surrounding that day and discovers that she has been suppressing some feelings for 19 years...or is it 20?

[itschristaleeann]

Waves.

Something I wrote for an adoptee poetry contest.

I’ve only seen and been in the ocean once

It was exhilarating

It was beautiful

But it gave me anxiety

Waves are unpredictable

They can come and go

Strong or weak

Calm or intense

And you can’t control them

Adoption and reunion are like these waves

Maybe there is a period of calmness and peace

Hope even

But when it becomes choppy and unfair,

It’s unforgiving

Unpredictable

Unfair

And possibly unaliving.

But most of all, it’s enticing

Why?

Why would anyone want to go into the ocean when it could just take us away forever?

I ponder

And ponder

It seems like it’s against human nature to take on so many unpredictabilities when all we want is stability in this life

But I keep coming back to one thing

The possibilities are endless

And maybe that’s enough to have your toes touch the salt water

Again

And again.

[ouridentityarchive]

Nonadoptees, what are ways you advocate for adoptees? • Adoptees, we must acknowledge our own stories and continue to take each day at a time. We deserve happiness.

[theremina]

Ruthie Jackson gets it.