#adopteevoices

[gregsantospoet]

I realized that I never got a chance to post about having my work featured in ‘Out of the Shadows of Angkor: Cambodian Poetry, Prose, and Performance Through the Ages.’ Published in Fall 2022 through Manoa Journal (@manoa_journal), this groundbreaking anthology features over 400 pages of Cambodian writing in translation into English, as well as works by contemporary Cambodian and its diaspora writers. As a Cambodian transracial adoptee, having three poems from my book, Ghost Face, as well as a short explanatory essay included in this anthology means the world to me. I am learning how to embrace and reclaim my Cambodian ancestry everyday, combining it with my Portuguese, Spanish, and Canadian upbringing. So it is an honour and humbling to be featured alongside many Cambodian and diaspora writers that I admire and revere. Many thanks to the anthology’s editors for putting their trust and support in me and my writing. 🙏🏾 . . . #gregsantos #gregsantospoetry #ghostfacepoetry #manoajournal #cambodian #poetry #bookstagram #intheshadowsofangkor #writingcommunity #khmer #adopteevoices (at Montreal, Quebec) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7faogpZFMqEj60Ry7gk8fa51iBYqI2Hcp4s80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[pushthatbuttonidareyou]

I had to laugh at “I was dropped on my head as a baby” because on the first night with my APs my Amom actually DID drop me on my head!😂😑

Adoption causes way more intergenerational trauma and collective health issues than I think many "kept" people realize.

If you bother to read it, the science is clear: adoption is violently traumatic, and causes devastating, irreversible health issues for millions of human beings. Yet I'd have more luck conveying the severity and longevity of mine to most non-adoptees with "I was dropped on my head as a baby."

Heck, I didn't begin to contend with the horrors of my own situation until my mid forties. Being yeeted directly after birth to foster care and eventually adopted by lovely, well-intentioned folks who were not prepared *at all* to help me deal with the lifelong neurodevelopmental disorders and physical health problems directly caused by my abandonment at birth permanently damaged me. And I'm saying so as one of the "lucky ones"!

I adore my adoptive family. They're incredible parents. We love each other dearly. This doesn't change the fact, not for one second, that I wouldn't wish adoption on my worst enemy. Thankfully, my folks understand this. I wish more adoptive parents did.

The modern adoption industry* is, by design, deeply misogynistic, racist, transactional, ableist, imperialist, colonial. Ignorance and hate and apathy and subjugation and dehumanization and capitalism are what keep it running.

We're already seeing the beginning of Baby Scoop Too: Electric Boogaloo on Facebook. On Twitter. On Instagram. On other platforms owned and controlled by obscenely wealthy white men who don't consider private adoptions to be unethical.

You may *think* that legalized human trafficking doesn't really effect you, but soon, if the Christofascists continue their cultural blitzkrieg, the amount of infants and children who end up in the foster care system, adopted by unqualified people, or in devastating private "rehoming" situations like the one shared above, or even worse situations, is gonna SKYROCKET.

So...I'm barely on Facebook anymore for a few different reasons. One of them is that I couldn't handle watching a whole bunch of ignorant self-proclaimed feminists making shitty adoption jokes after Roe was overturned.

Another reason is that Facebook is LITERALLY A BABY MARKET.

ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE BUYING AND SELLING CHILDREN ON FACEBOOK. WHAT THE ACTUAL UNFORTUNATE FUCK.

Nearly 100 million American families are in the adoption triad, with a majority of adoptees' needs and voices being considered last instead of first. It's so backwards.

Non-kinship adoption is a systemic violence that cannot help but touch the lives of billions. That is so very, very bad for ALL of us, not just abandoned infants and children, or their struggling parents.

Some straightforward followup questions for every person who has ever asked me questions about being adopted:

Are you a feminist? Are you antiracist? Are you a humanitarian? Anti-ableist? Do you consider yourself lefty, liberal, or otherwise progressive? Do you respect science? Then please evaluate your perceptions of adoption.

For every adoptive or bio parent you listen to, listen to three or more adoptees. For every shitty adoption "joke" you've ever told, check in with an adoptee (or first mom) in a kind and caring way. For every ignorant question you've ever asked a adoptee about our "real parents", crack a book.

Please. Do some research. Learn. Please. Center transracial adoptees, disabled adoptees, queer adoptees. Please. This stuff impacts all of us just as surely as countless other aspects of systemic rape culture do. Try to understand. Please.

I'm more certain than ever that we must abolish before we can rebuild.

Please give a shit. Please.

*The fact that adoption is an industry at all should shock and horrify us all, and yet... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kaomigee]

Season 7, Episode 17: Nik Nadeau - Meeting My Birth Mother

Writer, poet, husband and Korean adoptee Nik Nadeau, 36, talks about how writing has helped him find inner layers of himself and uncover memories. And of how he is unlocking feelings towards his birth mother over the years. Audio available April 26, 2024. Special thanks to Jacquelyn Wells for original music.

[openadoptionfamilyservices]

This week, the New Yorker published the long-form article “Living in Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath.” Transracial adoptee and adoption consultant Angela Tucker participated in this piece, which was thoughtfully reported and written by Larissa MacFarquhar. In Angela’s words, the article is “truly adoptee-centered, nuanced and powerful … it’s one of the strongest pieces on adoptee perspectives to date.” Visit Angela’s blog at The Adopted Life to read about her experience being a part of this piece, and be sure to check out her link to the New Yorker article, which also has an audio version available! https://tinyurl.com/3ee43dpu

[thoughtlessdelineation]

Transcending Loss and Disconnection.

How the Tibetan Book of the Dead provides insight for Adoptees.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead is an ancient text that has been used for centuries as a guide for the soul during the process of dying and the afterlife. The text is traditionally read aloud to the dying person and is also used in funeral ceremonies. It teaches about the bardos, which are intermediate states between death and rebirth.

It could be said that Adoptees transition through two(2) full sets of bardos. One before/after/between lives, and one “during THIS lifetime” which is something no other being faces.

The bardos, as described in the Tibetan Book of the Dead, can be seen as a metaphor for the adoptee experience. Adoptees may feel that they are in a state of constant transition and change as they navigate the unknown landscape of their adoption. They may feel a sense of disconnection from their birth families and cultures, and may struggle with issues of identity, belonging, and self-worth. The teachings of the text can offer comfort and validation for adoptees as they navigate their own journey of self-discovery and understanding.

[captainhannie13]

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ˚｡ ࣪ ˖ ⋆｡˚ ⊹ ˖ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ˚｡⋆ ⊹ ⋆ ☽｡ ˚ ⊹ ☁︎ ࣪ ˖

Han | She/They, Six and Twenty | UK

#AdopteeVoices, ASD, EUPD

🦋bluesky: captainhannie13

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏𓊝﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Ahoy there, prepare for organised chaos - you can also find me #yapping in the sideblogs:

feetintherocks - The Vampire Chronicles🩸

bringingmehome - Fantasy/Period TV⚜️

okillbite - Movies 🎟️

closureclosure - Music (primarily Swiftie) ✨

looktocamera - Sitcoms 🎥

pumpinandblowin - Musicals 🎭

thornsbeforeroses - Mental Health 🌪️

˚｡𓆝｡˚𓆟 ｡𓆞 𓆝 ｡˚𓆟˚ 𓆝｡˚𓆟 ｡𓆞 𓆝 ｡˚𓆟˚ 𓆞

[convos-about-adoption]

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1SAe6HBYpqAgpE1277Bl5y?si=KFisI0qvQkOPWK3kjp9cXw

#podcast #adoption #author #adopteevoices

[itschristaleeann]

People Always Leave?

Remember that theme for Peyton Sawyer in One Tree Hill, “People Always Leave”? One Tree Hill is a show I hold close to my heart and have seen at least five or six times all the way through, but I never fully understood why her character meant so much to me. Yeah, I knew she was adopted like I am but it never fully clicked, that is until I came out of the fog about my adoption.

If you’re not an adoptee, you may not understand what coming out of the fog is. It basically means that you come to terms of what your adoption means and your feelings towards it. We’re told to be grateful, that we’re lucky, that we got this amazing life but, we all realize we were separated or abandoned by our biological family, RIGHT?  Whatever the circumstances were, you’re still not with the family who created you, and that kinda sucks. Even if you were technically better off being adopted. That’s trauma. It’s heartbreaking.

You miss out on so much and you’re always wondering why you feel so different. Why you don’t feel like you fit in anywhere.

And let’s be real here, Peyton Sawyer is not the only adoptee or adoption or abandonment  story in a TV show or movie. There’s so many. Bones, This Is Us, Call The Midwife, and so many more that have storylines on this. And if there’s one that specifically applies to you or you feel more connected to, I’d love to hear about it.

But Peyton’s for me hits closer to me because I see a lot of myself in her. Grew up as an only child. Blonde curly hair. Our personalities. How she copes even with grief and hardships. I see it.

Anyway, back to Peyton’s storyline. Peyton was dealing with the loss of her adoptive mother because she ran a red light and was killed. Her adoptive father had a job that required him to be away a lot. She finally meets her biological mother who eventually dies from cancer. Her biological father is a drunk. She meets her half brother. People in her life came and went and the pain of losing both mothers in her life hits differently for me now. The realization that I one day will lose both of my mothers. Even in the joy that adoption brings for the parents, it’s tragic for the child. We have to go through double the grief and heartbreak.

Our stories do differ in one area. It is that she didn’t know she was adopted growing up and finding it out when she was a teenager. Not a great time to find out. We all know being a teenager is hard. I’m fortunate that I knew my whole life. My adoptive parents did do that right. Not telling your kid they were adopted is like trying to hide a dirty secret or dirty laundry. Really not okay. We’re not here for your pride or to be a replacement child when we didn’t have a choice on who raised us or even being born.

It’s no wonder adoptees have trust and abandonment issues. And in the show, it plays out that way a lot for her. People coming and going, dying even. And yeah, most people would say that’s a part of life or maybe think it’s a little sad. But it’s a whole other level for her and me. I truly feel her pain and relate so hard. This show helped me see that.

It helps me know that I’m not alone in how I feel, even if people come and go in my life. And I have, especially during the pandemic. It’s been hard to let go of people I thought would always be in my life or maybe the possibility of entering my life. It’s hard to know that I’ll never fully develop a connection to my biological family in a way you develop family relationships over a lifetime. Maybe that’ll change or maybe it won’t. I can’t answer that, but I hope it does.

But I am trying though. Peyton did too. We had open (but protected and sometimes tough exteriors) hearts to let people in, even if they left or hurt us. We’re constantly nursing our broken hearts, hoping that someday that we can heal and move on but if only it were that easy.

But the ones who stayed are the ones who we hold so close. That’s tragic the beauty of all this pain. We can see easily who’s important to us and who’s only here for a period of time.

I have a handful of people in my life who I call my close circle. Like the quote from the movie Lilo & Stitch “This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”

And if you’re reading this as a friend or family member of an adoptee and you’ve stayed in their lives in a positive way and are close, know the immense amount of trust and fondness we have in you.

So if you’re an adoptee who’s just coming out of the fog, late discovery, dealing with loss, abandonment, just know you’re not crazy for feeling the way you do.

Remember:

You’re valid.

You matter.

It’s okay to be angry.

There is beauty and you’re part of that beauty.

Take a deep breath.

Hold onto the people who stay, they’re the realest.

And most importantly, know you’re loved. ❤️

[gregsantospoet]

'Greg Santos is a poet of intense sensibility, who writes between the spaces of the concrete and the unseen. His book, Ghost Face, indeed embarks on the journeys of ghosts: the feelings or awareness that something is “there” but that it cannot be interpreted.' - Ghost Face is reviewed by Eleni Zisimatos via Vallum Poetry Magazine @vallummag Going forward, poetry reviews from Vallum's archives can now be viewed for free on their website. View the review in its entirety at the following link: (https://vallummag.com/eleni-zisimatos-review-of-ghost-face-by-greg-santos/) . . . #gregsantos #gregsantospoetry #ghostfacepoetry #vallumpoetry #vallummag #poetryreview #bookreview #adopteevoices #canlit (at Montreal, Quebec) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnJDq9Nt_XWAsQadCrcCnLBm1gz07Lf32f5CWM0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theremina]

"The adoption industry is a for-profit, multibillion-dollar industry that makes its money by exploiting families in crisis where babies are the commodity. We grow up, and we are asking you to sit with us in the discomfort and keep listening."

~Ferera Swan

[kaomigee]

Season 7, Episode 11: Rachel Forbes, LSCW, and the 3Fs (of Disregulated Trauma Responses)

This week, I talk with Rachel Forbes, LCSW, an Korean-American adoptee therapist and educator. We discuss trauma that occurs in the womb and from early parent separation, and emotional disregulation. Forbes, 34, talks about healing techniques and provides a lot of great resources too.  CW: child molestation/incest/sexual abuse 

[ouridentityarchive]

@kjramseywritesthank you, from an adoptee.

[gloombby]

i genuinely believe my parents were not supposed to be parents. don’t they ever figure maybe they weren’t able to biologically have children for a reason. they’re not good parents and i can’t wait till i have money to leave and never have to talk/be near them ever again.

[openadoptionfamilyservices]

During this National Adoption Awareness Month, we are highlighting a few of the many adoptees who have publicly shared their informed perspectives. We are grateful for their voices, and we continue to learn so much from each of them. Visit https://aprildinwoodie.com/ to hear more.

[petals4paws]

🚗 ON THE ROAD 🚗

One outta four P4P vehicles working - driver's door decides it doesn't work on the Jeep today 🤦‍♀️ But we are FINALLY on the road to Portland with great bags of swag for the event raffle! Thank you to ALL who sponsored donations!

@barkbox

@costco

@hummingbirdestate

@roxyann_winery @hillspet @kongcompany @theblissfuldog @brutusbroth

Eagle Point Liquor Store

#asianamerican #asianadoptee #asiancommunity #asianamericanstories #adopteevoices #adoptee #communityovercompetition #pdx #portland #pdxevents #womanfounded #lgbtqfounded #BIPOCvoices #womanoperated #lgbtqoperated #P4P #petals4paws #petalssavepaws #rescuelife #animalsanctuary #rescuemommas

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[thoughtlessdelineation]

I’m something yet nothing and everything, said the child of another.

#adoption #adopteevoices #sendinglove #familypreservation

Sending love to those who were supposed to be in my life, and the ones that were and the ones who chose not to be.