#adhd is just my inner child lol

[phthalosophical]

I often describe having ADHD like having two brains. the brain of an adult, and the brain of a toddler. the toddler cannot sit still or be quiet or focus unless it has an "ipad" in its hands. so in order for my adult brain to focus and do work, I have to give my toddler brain an "ipad" usually just putting on background noise, music or a youtube video, or having something to fidget with.

when the toddler is quiet, I can get things done :)

UH WHAT

UH…… WHAT………

[dollfairy]

It's really hard to get over the childhood wound of "no one believes me or listens to me so I can't trust anyone or go to anyone for support and therefore have to handle everything myself" when that shit is still happening to me as an adult in my 30s lol

[garciaasfluffypen]

take care of me (like i take care of you) pt. 2

pairing: jemily x adhd!reader word count: 2.3k warnings: reader’s kinda bratty in this one! reader is confused as to why being bratty is making them feel tingly but they like it so they keep doing it, softdom!jj begins to make an appearance, color system usage, the origin of jj refusing to be called mommy (she has a moment™️)

a/n: hi besties!! i wrote this on my phone because i can’t find my laptop charger so please excuse any sort of typos you find! thats also why the beginning of this post currently isn’t formatted like the other ones but soon as i can charge my laptop i’ll be fixing it. there will be a part three to this! i had to find a good place to end or else this would have been a beast to read lol.

ps. when i wrote this i was 100% imagining white tank top!jj and emily in the burgundy lululemon looking sweatshirt from the episode where they’re building the crib for kristy and matt ;)

you couldn’t contain your excitement as you basically tripped over your feet to run up to jj’s audi, jumping up and down in your seat as you waited for your girlfriends to join you. it was five minutes past nine and everyone was ready so naturally you ran to the car. you had been ready for two hours, but that was only because you had gotten up so early. you had everything you could possibly need in your little cross shoulder body bag and had to stop yourself from biting your fingernails to the quip in pure excitement as you waited. emily came out first, slipping you your preferred chewy necklace that was easy to hide under your shirt. as soon as the chewy end of it entered your mouth, emily’s hands reached around you and wrapped the black string around your neck. without realizing it you naturally leaned into her touch, pulling her hand toward your cheek as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt while you stared at the door leading inside the kitchen. jj came out a few minutes later, her to-go cup of coffee tucked neatly away in the crook of her arm as she started to pull up the directions to the zoo.

jj slid into the drivers seat with ease, smiling at you as she saw the way you were sitting. she grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze before placing your phone in it, chuckling lightly at the layer of blush that ended up on your cheeks as you sheepishly took it from her. your block blast game was still up on the screen as you left it on the bathroom counter when you started doing your makeup. jj started the car and reversed out the driveway, leaving you to become reimmersed in your game. before you knew it you could just start see the sign for the zoo on the water tower peeking over the houses in the distance, meaning you were just about ten minutes away.

“lovey, besides seeing the giraffes, is there anything you want to do today?”

“um… i haven’t seen the elephants in a long time.” you paused, thinking. “and also the lions, i want to see the lions too.”

“do you think we could fit in a visit to the lemurs?” jj shot a glance to you. “i quite like lemurs.”

you nodded. “we can definitely see the lemurs.”

you made a mental note to yourself that jj liked lemurs, adding it to the little box that you had in your brain with facts about your girlfriends. it was mainly filled with silly little facts that most people wouldn’t normally pay attention to, like the fact emily writes in print script or that jj only eats salt and vinegar chips when she’s high. sure, there were the obvious facts that almost everyone on the team knew, but there were ones that were just your facts. and you wanted to keep them that way.

despite being a fully grown adult, you knew deep down that things like this were needed to help heal your inner child. you didn’t have the best childhood, but you were doing your best to fix it now. you bounced anxiously on the balls of your feet as you waited for the train to take you to the back of the zoo, the wind blowing your hair all around your face as you waited. jj silently pulled you toward her and helped you pull your hair back, putting it in a single braid for you.

by the time you got to the giraffe exhibit you could barely contain your excitement, your hands balling into fits and promptly unballing themselves as you tried to combat the need to stim. your arms stiffened as you tried to hold back your energy, shaking a bit as you focused on staying still as you could. that didn’t last long, seeing as there wasn’t many people around you at the moment and your girlfriends were positioned behind you. you let your hands start flapping, doing your best to keep them close to your sides as possible. a small squeak of noise came out of your mouth as you watched the zoo keepers slowly bring out the stars of the event. the crowd around you started to grow as the people made their way up from the front of the zoo, most of them not paying you any attention and instead looking for the little baby that the zoo was celebrating.

slowly but surely the calf made it's way out of the enclosure, still a little unsteady on it's feet. you watched in awe as it made it's way around the exhibit, noting how small it was compared to it's parents. jj wrapped her arms around you from behind, intertwining her fingers with your hands and placing a kiss on your shoulder. you could tell she was standing on her tip toes to reach your shoulder and made sure to flatten your feet, considering you tended to stay on your tip toes when you got too excited about things.

“how tall do you think he is?”

“i’d guesstimate around 6 feet.” you rocked up and back down to flat feet as you spoke. “giraffes give birth standing up so they fall roughly six feet to the ground but get up on their feet within the hour.”

“you know more about giraffes than i thought.”

“i had a hyperfixation on wild animals and the care of them before i ended up in the academy. i was wanting to double major in zoology and communications before i started to look into paths to go down with a communications degree.” you turned to face jj and emily. “i was going to be an advocate for animal rights but then i started reading about the fbi and decided that would probably be a better path to go down.”

before you could continue your thoughts, the chime that sounded before the giraffe feedings sounded, signaling for everyone who had a ticket to line up. you were closer to the end, whch was fine because it meant you could watch the giraffes for longer. emily and jj made sure to take pictures of you the whole time, smiling and laughing along with you as the giraffe’s tongue tickled your hand while it ate the leaves you held out. by the time you got out of the exhibit, your stomach started to rumble and you pouted towards your girlfriends as you walked past one of the many cafés scattered around the zoo. without a word, emily pulled the three of you inside, telling you to order whatever you wanted. you ended up going for the chicken tenders and fries, knowing that the meal was something you most likely would have gotten when you came as a child. it was hard to remember if you ever came, but you presumed it was what you got because it felt right.

by the time the three of you made it to the halfway point, you started to realize your whole body was beginning to hurt. you weren’t sure if it was from physically stopping yourself from stimming in the bigger crowds, or if it was from all the walking you had done. either way, you found yourself starting to slow down a bit and start to feel like you needed a ten hour nap. it was only when you got toward the lemur exhibit when your body really started to hurt, and you unintentionally started to let it slip into your mind that you were hurting and needed to go home.

jj was the first to notice that you were starting to feel off, clocking the heaviness of your walking and the fact you had started to get a little whiney. there had been approximately three times in the five years she had known you that she had ever seen you this way. and all of those times happened when you were over exerting yourself. most of the times it was because you were stubborn, but this time it didn’t seem that way. within ten minutes you were complaining about how much your feet hurt and how you felt like you were going to die if you didn’t get to sit down within the next five minutes. emily and jj fell a few steps behind you, whispering to each other about how to go about the situation.

“do you think she’s subconsciously wanting us to.. i dunno, take control? lacey mentioned something about that at the support group on saturday.”

jj chewed at the end of her necklace. “it's possible. i’m willing to try it if you are, but the second they push back or show any signs of not going along with it i’m stopping.”

“are you going to take the lead on this?”

“if you don’t mind. we know how easily they’ll react to you, i’m curious what would happen if you didn’t say anything but i did.”

“then do it. i trust you.”

jj squeezed emily’s hand before making her way back over to where you sat on the bench, watching the zebra walk by and graze on the grass in front of you. you definitely looked worse for wear, considering the braid your hair had been in all day was beginning to come undone and you most definitely got sunburned on your shoulders at some point. jj knew you weren’t feeling well, and that you were hiding it in order to appease her and emily. it was something she had noticed multiple times throughout their time with you so far. even if you didn’t feel like doing something, you typically would put on a happy face and go through with it anyway. it hadn’t happened much, but she had started to catch it more and more.

“y/n, it’s time to go.”

“what? no!” you gasped. “we haven’t even been to the polar bears yet!”

“i know, and i know you want to finish it but i’m calling it.” jj stepped closer to you, her voice dropping. “you’re tired and need to go home and rest. i’m giving you til the count of five, and if you don’t get up and come with us to the car we won’t go to dolphin beach this weekend.”

“you wouldn’t!”

“five.”

“jayje- this isn’t fair! em-my, do something!” you whined, staring at the brunette.

“two.” jj raised an eyebrow as you refused to budge. “fine, we stay, but no beach then.”

“i’d listen to her if i were you.” emily replied. “while we haven’t truly gotten into that dynamic with you just yet, i will say that i’d be careful how much you go against her, lovey.” emily gave you a pointed look before clasping her hands together. “that being said, we use the color system. red means hard stop, yellow means i’m uncomfortable and green means go.” emily paused. “color?”

“green.”

“good. if anything changes, tell jj. i’m going to go to the ladies room, i’ll meet you up by the gates.”

emily placed a kiss on jj’s cheek and simply patted you on the shoulder before walking towards the front of the zoo, leaving you alone with the blonde. the logical part of your brain knew she was right. you were tired, your body was aching and you couldn’t walk for more than five minutes without having to sit down. but on the other hand, you were having fun poking the bear. reluctantly you got up, huffing and making a big deal of going home. you didn’t understand much about the way it was making you feel, but you knew it sent a tingle through your body seeing jj getting all worked up. it was amusing to you how red she got from you simply being a brat. and frankly, you liked it.

“you’re being unfair!”

“this attitude stops now, y/n. we’re going home.”

you bit your tongue cheekily, a glint forming in your eyes as you waited to see jj’s reaction. “mommy, you’re being mean to me.”

jj whipped her head to you, balling her hand into a fist at the side of her body. “what did you just call me?”

“… mommy?”

jj stopped walking suddenly, causing you to bump into her. “red.” she swallowed. “i’d like to talk about that later, when we’re home. not right now.”

“i’m sorry.” you looked at the ground, mortified. “it won’t happen again.”

a wave of guilt overtook your body as you two quietly walked to the front of the zoo, emily sensed some tension the second she saw you two, but knew that if she said anything you would probably start to spiral. by the time you got back to the car, all you could do was slip into the backseat and hope that jj wasn’t do mad at you that she was going to end everything. emily, albeit confused, took the front seat, trying to get an accurate read on jj. something happened while she was in the bathroom, but she couldn’t place a finger on what exactly that something was. by the time jj pulled into the driveway, the tension in the car had gotten so thick you couldn’t hold your tears back, letting them fall slowly down your cheeks as you forced yourself not to sob.

“go to our room. i’m going to compose my thoughts, give us a minute to calm down, then i’ll come talk to you.”

“o-okay.”

jj waited until you got out of the car to look at emily. “i called red.”

“what happened?”

“she called me mommy. i didn’t like it. i felt… gross. it was almost… too feminine?” jj looked at emily. “i probably sound crazy but-“

“you’re allowed to not like the way it makes you feel, jay.”

“i just don’t understand why it made my skin crawl.”

“may i.. is that why you don’t like being called beautiful or pretty?”

jj’s head snapped up. “huh?”

“the feminine terms. you don’t like them.”

“not necessarily, no.”

emily nodded. “we don’t have to unravel this now, but we need to put a pin in this. the three of us need to talk about that together so we’re all on the same page.”

“you’re right. can you go check on them? i just need… i need to think about how i’m going to articulate everything.”

“of course.” emily squeezed jj’s hand. “come up when you’re ready.”

“i will. promise.”

taglist: @jayden-prentiss @idkwhatever580 @multifandomlesbianic @softestqueeen

[yeehawpim]

Hiya, just wanted to drop by and express that although I literally JUST discovered your comics via the "school" ones, they have moved me to literal tears lol. The school comics describe perfectly how I often feel at school (especially as someone who had to get used to demanding teachers and extra classes and exams at a young age, along with having ADHD) and I feel so comforted and seen. Just in general, your comics seem to connect with my inner child, they feel like my childhood sometimes. They also just pull at my heart strings plain and simply, and your humour actually makes me laugh out loud. I've been facing a lot of change lately and some stress, so your account is that much more wonderful to me. :]

TLDR: I really appreciate your work, thank you for sharing!!

Hope you're doing well, have a nice day/night (hope this doesn't come off as weird or too random LMAO)

AW OMG 😭🩵

I'm sorry you have to go through that at school, it really is too common of an experience but I'm glad the comics made you feel seen. Tbh I also feel seen when ppl express they relate to it 🤝

Thanks for reading my stuff and sending this ask, I hope your situation smooths out soon

here is a song that makes me happy

[johnslittlespoon]

(tiny headcanon that rly won't have a big effect on plot or anything, but i feel like it just fits very well with john/his character in leaving– dude's got madddd undiagnosed adhd. he's written off as a loud mouth/troublemaker in his childhood, but he wants to be a good kid, his mind is just always going too fast and sitting still is torture and his parents get frustrated and don't look into the root of the problem, trying to discipline it out of him instead. i will heal my inner child by healing him alright)

OMG THIS THIS THIS. because now i’m thinking about gale healing bucky’s inner child in this au :( like i have soooo many thoughts. bucky opening up to him about his parents harsh and strict approach to dealing with his ADHD. the fact that they thought they could discipline it out of him :( ugh that kills me. orrrr imagine gale or one of his friends makes an offhand comment one day about bucky being unable to focus or sit still and it’s a joke but it just sends bucky back to his childhood and he and gale have a long talk it’s fine i’m fine

referenced post | yes!!! in healing john's inner child gale would also be healing his as well because he gets to give john the stability he never had (and in turn finds stability through john <3)

i imagine john's parents would not even register it as adhd and would just blame it all on bad behaviour, it's such a common thing when kids go undiagnosed, especially with neglectful parents. that, or they'd suspect something is up but just not care/have the resources to deal with it, so instead they get frustrated with him and try to discipline it out or bury it.

i think john would genuinely grow up thinking he is a bad kid and being so confused because he doesn't want to be reactive and scattered, he wants to be good and to be liked (also would tie into him being into praise and all that with gale lol). it's not until he's older that maybe he starts to look into it, or maybe he meets someone who points things out to him and is like hey you should get this checked out, or maybe gale's even the one to sit down and do some research and help john make some appointments after john breaks down in tears in front of him one day because he's so frustrated with himself and his brain.

maybe before that outburst john has mentioned little things about how his parents would deal with the behaviours they didn't like, or gale would just pick up on it with the way john apologizes for certain things or gets touchy at certain jokes, etc, and he'd connect the rest of the dots on his own since he knows by that point what john's relationship with his parents is like.

and yowch that scenario :( </3 it would be something so lighthearted that john would feel silly for being affected by it; maybe gale's had a long day and wants to sit down and watch tv together, and john's feeling keyed up but he wants to help gale relax and he's missed him, so of course he joins him. but his leg won't stop going and he's absentmindedly fidgeting and gale puts a hand on his knee and says "do you ever stop moving?"

and gale means it as a light tease, because it's not bothering him; it's more so him opening a conversation for john to tell him "oh, i'm just restless" or "this show is boring" or whatever reason he might be antsy for. but word for word the question is all too familiar to john (even if his dad would say it with a lot more malice) and he abruptly stops moving and gale feels him go rigid under his hand and turns to look at john in confusion when he hears him apologize quietly and finds his face flushed in embarrassment/nervousness.

obviously the tv gets paused and gale asks what's wrong and assures john he's not upset in the slightest, that he was just joking, he's genuinely baffled at what set john off. and so john opens up a little and gale feels terrible, both for unknowingly making john feel for even a second that he was mad, and for john having to walk on eggshells at home over something he can't control (something gale is starting to have a sneaking suspicion he might know the name for.)

i'm not sure i'll go into detail on this in the fic or not, depends on whether it flows because sometimes mental health talk in fics can feel forced if it doesn't fit in naturally yk, but as someone who had these behaviours shrugged off until i got older and got diagnosed and realized it wasn't just a me thing lol, i see so many emotional habits/behaviours with john in this au that could stem from being undiagnosed (among the familial issues).

it would be interesting to pick it apart and see how he and gale would tackle it, especially because adhd is still so commonly viewed as some # quirky silly thing and i don't often see the heavier consequences/affects of it on the person dealing with it/on their relationships written about in the same way say anxiety or depression might be written about. either way, thx for giving me an excuse to delve into it a little here! i feel strongly ab it clearly LOL <33

[masterj]

Chuggington Headcanon: Wilson The Artist - WE WERE ROBBED \😫/

So if you know the CGI TV series Chuggington, you know its three main protaginists, Brewster, Koko, and Wilson, who is ultimately the main character overall, and TOTALLY THE BEST AND MOST RELATABLE talking train with face to grace the face of the earth and I'M TOTALLY NOT SAYING THAT OUT OF BIAS I'm NOT obsessed I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL I totally didn't kidnap him from his roundhouse to adopt him as my son I don't know WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT CRAZY A-

...Anyways, yes, Wilson is in fact the overall main character of Chuggington. He is mostly known for showing severe signs of ADHD, including having a short attention span and getting easily distracted, particularly in the first three seasons, and then in season 4, when our beloved trio move up to advanced training, Wilson becomes promoted as an apprentice for Chug Patrol Rescue Squad, due to various past occasions of him rescuing his friends from certain disaster.

Wilson has always been my favorite characater because he has the most relatable character of the main three, his fun personality is always so well-written, coupled with the voice acting from Morgan Overton and Tony Terraciano in the UK and US dubs respectively, and while his dodgy attention span, cheekiness and foolishness can get him into trouble, he always comes through to put things right and has creative and ingeniously unique ideas to solve problems. But you know what people DON'T talk about? >:( The fact that Wilson is CANONICALLY an ARTIST. 😎👌🎨

Let's quickly go over three examples:

Exhibit 1: Wilson and the Paint Wagon (Season 1 Episode 41)

So naturally, we must first go over the one that started it all: In "Wilson and the Paint Wagon", our trio learn how to use said wagons. Wilson struggles at first like the ADHD boi he is, but with Old Puffer Pete's help, he quickly learns how to control his paint wagon. 🎨

Right afterwards, see Wilson paint a yellow butterfly on his roundhouse door with some basic 2D detail. 🦋

And at the end of the episode, Wilson's newfound talent comes full circle when he demonstrates his skill to his friends as paints a picture of the main trio with Dunbar on the wall in the Training Yard, and coming from someone who's been drawing since three, I think it's safe to say he's got quite the unique artstyle for a beginner. 😎👍

Exhibit 2: Trainer Wilson (Badge Quest Season 2 Episode 13)

In the 13th and final second series episode of the Badge Quest short series, Wilson is to teach Hoot and Toot how to use the paint wagon, where he graces us once again with his painting skills with a picture of Hoot and Toot. 😌

Not too much difference in the artstyle compared to last time, but still a vitally noteworthy mention nonetheless.

Exhibit 3: Chug-O-Flage (Season 3 Episode 4)

And last, but definitely not least, "Chug-O-Flage" from season 3.

After unsuccessfully trying to make a camouflage net for safari training with Mtambo, Wilson decides to instead camouflage himself by getting painted as a parrot (Big mistake, it almost got him killed lol 🦏) but I'm sorry, the fact he got himself painted as A PARROT?🦜 HE CAME UP WITH THAT PAINT JOB, He TOTALLY DESIGNED THAT and somehow programmed it into the spray shed computer or something- THERE IS NO OTHER WAY- I SWEAR TO GOD, he HAD to- You can't tell m- there's NO WAY-

Your honor, my boi is an artist, I rest my case. 😌

This is why Wilson is best chugger. He's not only my inner child, (yours too, don't lie 😈) he's an artist. CANONICALLY an artist. He has ALWAYS had talent, Why wasn't there MORE of this, LUDORUM YOU ROBBED US ALL-

So finally here's where my headcanon comes into play:

Whenever Wilson makes the time for it, he likes to make paintings with the paint wagon just for the fun of it, usually of his favorite things like butterflies, ice cream or even his friends.

'Course, he already knows he can't just do it anywhere without permission, cuz dat's graffiti which is illegal, he usually uses whatever flat junk or scrap he can get hold of such as old metal sheets or wooden boards, even unused hopper cars rusting away in sidings that haven't met the cutter's torch get a touch up.

Sometimes, he does have actual canvases for painting (Lori gives them to him 😊) and he even puts them up in the wall in his roundhouse. Whatever he can't put in there is safely put in a storage unit located behind the Loading Yard.

It's safe to say his artstyle has improved quite a lot since what we've seen on-screen. 😉😎👌🎨

[melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx]

Last review! I’m so sad to see it end but from what I’m hearing, it ended beautifully.

Danny didn’t have chance from the beginning. He got a silent mother; abusive stepfather, abusive alters, and a lawyer with an addiction, I see why he thought suicide was his only way out, even without knowing about Stan’s addiction—Candy was the icing on the cake.

Ray’s boss annoys me. “Good girl”??? Such misogyny! And it hasn’t gotten better either, men still act this way.

Tom did his big one with this role. Like does Stan believe Rya finally when he heard Jack speak? Jack is the evil within this whole entire time. He made Danny leave for London to look even more guilty. If he left at all. Jack is horrible. I don’t even know how his alter was created.

Also, I love how the closed captions say normal voice when he’s speaking with an American accent when we all know Tom’s normal voice is British 🤣

Never heard Jason’s American voice ever, that’s amazing! And how Tom’s American accent changes to match Jason’s is SO FUCKING AMAZING! You hear the struggle of trying to keep his British accent at bay while trying to sound like Danny but it’s not Danny’s voice, which is much lighter in tone.

Now Jack came out lol and had the other lawyer looking at him crazy lol. I’m so glad Danny broke free so that Adam/Danny could finally speak. And I hope the alters finally see how destructive Jack is.

Danny finally coming to terms with Adam not being his actual brother but another alter (it’s funny how alters don’t age when you do, like what if you’re in your 60s but you have an alter in their 20s and they try do a backflip? That’d fuck you up)

Adam came before Marlin entered into their lives. Imagine all the abuse he had to deal with before that in order to create Adam? That’s sad. And the fact that Adam let marlin do whatever just so that candy wouldn’t be alone is heartbreaking. She put all her hurt and emotions onto Danny, allowed him to see her that way, and that made Danny/Adam decide to put up with whatever abuse he had to to keep her happy

And now the other lawyer is crying. I understand it’s her job but she pissed me off. I’m glad Danny won. And Danny being in shock—the emotions from just his eyes alone?? Unbelievable.

This new wig don’t look bad, I just wish they filmed it different so they could allow him to cut his hair cause I know he was over it at that point.

Love how Rya became the mother figure he needed. Candy knew that his biological father had been molesting him but because memories don’t develop until after four (sometimes early but the brain is so traumatized, it’ll black out anything, trust me—half my childhood is gone and I don’t remember anything) that’s when he created Adam and she let him believe that Adam was real and off with their biological dad like some parent trap shit—what parent willingly separates twins?! Seriously!

I’m so happy Danny didn’t forgive her. She the victim and the villain; instead trying to make the situation better again, she just stayed and allowed it to continue. I truly thought she was gonna say his father had DID, not that he was a pervert. And I just don’t understand how she couldn’t leave again if she did it the first time.

Tom’s cold icy stare is both sexy and heartbreaking, he gives tortured artist. Emmy looks like Mila Kunis to me. (Sorry it’s the ADHD)

So now that fusion therapy is working (a better outcome than the person this was based on) does this mean that Danny’s bisexual 👀 (do not come for me, it was an intrusive thought!)

Love the paintings are exactly the one from the intro; I wonder what debt Danny’s talking about. We’ll never know; the show’s over and it’s an anthology 🙃. It was beautifully written and so well taken care of. I’m sad that Tom can’t express that anymore cause of the strike but hopefully he sees how much this show means to us

Never mind I think I know what the debt is:

Danny has to now fuse Adam. His inner child that he has to protect, or be a guardian Angel for.

This show has made me appreciate those who struggle with mental health (like myself) and those who never stop helping them. And it also made me appreciate the cast’s acting, especially Tom’s; this shit was difficult and hard and I’m sure he will never do another difficult role again and I hope he never has to.

[angstsplatter]

For the Mikey Ask!

1 (and why?)

2 (pictures?)

4

From @deadlyflan

(Because i can't send asks from my side turtle blog. 😭 )

From the Mikey Ask Game!

Hiiiii!

I getchu. I don't understand why tumblr hasn't figured out how to allow us to submit asks from different blogs now that we can reply as different blogs??? Also, same. I had to submit to your blog as my main, trisockatops, lol!

1. which mikey is your favorite version?

omg choices are hard. I'm actually going to go with 90s movies Mikey! 90s movie Mikey was a really good blend of doofus and serious ninja that led to him getting some really amazing and moments.

Mikey and Donnie's interactions while watching Leo and Raph fight crack me up every time. They're such the cool, nonchalant siblings tired of this shit but knowing this shit isn't gonna end anytime soon.

Who can forget Mikey with no hesitation running into a burning building to save a child he'd just met?

The whole Second opening sequence is absolutely golden, but Mikey A) knocking out Foot with a 0.2 ounce yo-yo, B) Mikey playing both parts in the fight behind the meat counter, and C) Mikey running off the Foot with sausage is HILARIOUS. (Don is also a huge star in this clip. Him being the weeble lives rent free in my head and is the entire reason I know what a weeble even is.)

Mikey drawing out Splinter's funny side because Splinter is worried about him and getting Splinter to wear a lampshade to cheer him up!? And Mikey's absolutely precious laugh afterwords? Omg, precious babies.

Mikey being the one to hold the donuts but then still make Leo be the one to call a stop to the fight and give him a chance to offer them to Tokka and Rahzar. xD Plus the classic "Which one's the ugly one?" That line also lives rent free in my head. I quote it all the time looool.

I just really enjoy the utter campiness of the 90s movies and how everyone really got a chance to shine and be both funny and awesome. This is a great version of Mikey.

2. do you have any mikey merch?

Ah, sadly, I've been moving a lot, so I pared down on a lot of my TMNT merch to make things easier on myself, so a lot of my Mikey-centric stuff is gone. :( I have some cool group things, still, though!

Just got this sweatshirt for Christmas. It is super comfy.

I'm not even sure how old this pillow is anymore, but it's been through most of college with me.

My beloved fridge magnets which were once cake toppers.

I also have a set of miniature figures of the guys that are rather 2k7 in build that I love, but they're currently still packed way from my move in December. (The walls here are brick, so I need a special tool to put shelves up so I can display them, lol.)

4. what headcanons do you have?

I love ADHD!Mikey. That's definitely a fave.

A lot of iterations of TMNT give the boys a lot of inner strife over having to be secret and removed from the world, but I actually think Mikey is most at peace with this out of all the boys. Raph's got obvious anger issues over the juxtaposition of all they do to help the city/world and how people would just fear or hate them if their presence was revealed. Donnie has so much he could contribute to the world scientifically, and ofc there's some aspect of this that can be conveyed just through screens, but he can't make a name for himself. He can't go to conferences. He can't teach. He can't really collaborate with others beyond anonymous chatting. He can't really publish. That's absolutely gotta wear on him. Leo may seem like the obvious most at peace, but I think he really internalizes this alienation and isolation and it causes a lot of inner turmoil and anxiety. But Mikey I feel is the most connected with the world and so feels the least disconnected. He's got a strong network of contacts in 2k3 with the Justice Force and Nobody. In 2k7, he outright had an in-person job as a party performer. Really, he's so friendly and extroverted that he can't help but make friends, and he's the most likely to put himself out there and risk being revealed if it would help someone. I think he also has tends to have a lot more emotional coping skills/maturity than his brothers tend to have, so if he is bothered by this isolation, he better knows how to deal. Whereas Raph tends to explode and take his emotions out on other and Leo/Donnie tend to internalize until they reach denial or acceptance (more Donnie) or explode (very Leo). Acting in a juvenile manner doesn't actually mean Mikey is immature. (2k3 Mikey's speech on feeling bad for Leo while he was struggling with PTSD because he took on so much responsibility so the rest of them didn't have to is case and point.)

Mikey's pranks and distraction tactics are less a mechanism of fear of responsibility but more of fear of failure. Leo's great at strategy, Raph is pure brute strength and a lack of fear, Donnie's amazing intelligent - there's a lot for Mikey to have to try and live up to, and it's scary that he might not have a place in that and that maybe he's not as good or talented as his brother. So he carved out this niche for himself as being dramatic and ridiculous, so maybe he'll never be good enough, but he'll sure as shell never be forgotten.

[parental-unit-of-chaos]

My 21st birthday is in 2 days

Another year has passed, 11 more than I thought I would get to see. Everyone says I should be happy, am I, at least I think I am. I'm still not sure what that is supposed to feel like. It's more bittersweet than anything, humorous in a dark way. I've been searching for jobs for like 3 months now, haven't gotten too much luck just yet. Though, it feels oddly healing when I apply to jobs that was my dream job when I was a teen. Even, though I have the qualifications for an assistant manager role, on paper I only have enough to do lower roles. This usually causes problems due to my energy and being able to learn everything from my role and manager's tasks within shifts within 2 months of working at a company, everyone tends to socially put me into a leadership role. Going to me, if the actual Shift manager or assistant manager is too busy.

I really do hope my HotTopic or Spencer's job applications work out. Last year, I finally fully healed my inner child, only for my inner teen to come out swinging. Honestly, it feels like I'm broken and whole at the exact same time most days. I know what emotion I should be feeling in situations, but I'm not sure if I'm actually feeling them. C-PTSD is a fucking bitch when it's mixed with Autism & ADHD. I still feel like I'm floating through life, not sure at all of what river I'm going down. I know it's not one where a waterfall is at the end of it, but that's about it. Everything else is pretty fuzzy. I love writing, I love drawing, I love to sing, I love developing into spirituality, but I feel horrible about doing them, instead of looking for jobs, but if I constantly look for jobs, I get burnt out on them. I wish just screaming and crying for 2 hours, solved everything, but sadly, life doesn't work that way. Atleast, I have my partner to help me work through this, but that shouldn't be his job 24/7. I wish I could just wave my hand and the best life that fits to me as a person becomes my life, but not even witchcraft works like that, lol. As for my witchcraft, it's be kinda stagnant, I've figured out Archangel Gaberial, Lady Lilith and Cernurous have been kinda chillin' in the background. I've been kinda scared to step into that, it's haunting, even though, I've worked with deities before!

Just to clarify to everyone, I'm not gonna hurt myself or anything, just want to vent out some things, and people can add to it from their experience if they want.

[chemicalcarousel]

Found this system september thingy, guess we'll do it:

1) DID, OSDD, P-DID or C-DID?

Probably DID

2) Current alter count?

We know of 9 rn

3) Alter count at discovery?

3 lmfao

4) Finally Fusion or Function Multiplicity?

Don't care, we just wanna heal in whatever way is possible. Since we don't know if we can ever get the specialised therapy we need, we are just striving to function rn

5) What roles are you heavy in?

We don't use alter roles really

6) How's your communication?

Not amazing lmfao

7) Are you diagnosed, self diagnosed, or unofficially diagnosed?

I guess a mix of informal "diagnosis" and self dx? My last therapist/psychiatrist never said "DID" specifically, just that I had alters and shit. But I think I fit the DID criteria the best. Still waiting on a new psychiatrist tho

8) Are you in therapy?

Not currently

9) What alter type are you heavy in?

Uhh dunno lol. We don't separate our alters by type much and since we only know of 9 rn it feels weird generalising. Like are we fictional introject heavy if we technically have 4 fictional introjects out of 9? Are we syskid heavy if we have +4 kid alters out of 9? We don't know lol

10) Overt or covert?

Mostly covert in the sense that we can kinda get away with being "different" lol. But like... people notice that we switch, they just don't know it's a switch bc they don't know what DID is

11) Does handwriting differ?

Not much? Nothing we notice, but we don't write by hand much

12) Do others know of your system?

Yeah, we try to be more open with others, but usually we just say we have CPTSD if they gotta know about our disability for accommodation purposes

13) One thing you'd wish the community would accept?

Idk what's going on in the "community". I feel like there's not one community, but multiple different ones. I wish people would actually see CDDs as trauma disorders and not "silly people in my head" disorders, I guess? Like see alters as parts of a whole n shit

14) Advice for singlets?

Don't learn about DID and related disorders from tiktok lmfao. Also don't be weird about introjects or child alters. And please understand that we have a disability, so don't take it personally if we have symptoms of said disability, such as forgetfulness or flashbacks

15) Your go to thing for flashbacks?

Uh, isolate myself and just "surf the wave". Like I'll just remind myself it's gonna pass and I just have to survive the feelings for a limited amount of time. It depends on the flashback tho and uhh... we never learned how to deal with them in therapy lol

16) Your favourite educational accounts?

The CTAD Clinic on YouTube! They are a clinic specialising in Complex Trauma and Dissociation and they make educational videos about it on YouTube for both pwCDDs and therapists!

17) Any shared spins?

Uh, we think we might also be autistic, but we dunno if we share any special interests. I guess psychotraumatology might be a spin and I think multiple of us are interested in that?

18) A role you coined?

Uh we don't really use roles, but I guess we have a designated eeper lol. We have only a few alters who feel comfortable enough to sleep, so ig that's kind of a role? But they do other things to

19) Are you LGBTQ+ heavy?

We collectively identify as queer, but like most of our alters literally do not care lol. But I think all of us are aroace-spec and like three of us are gay in some way

20/21) Unpopular OSDDID opinion?

Idk

22/23) Other comorbid disorders?

Possibly autism and/or ADHD. Maybe a PD? I guess anxiety and depression too, but we kinda see them as symptoms of having trauma idk. We also have some OCD-like stuff, but like... not too bad idk. Maybe it's just the possible autism that looks like OCD. We haven't really thought about it much

24/25) Is your inner world large or small?

We don't have one

26/27) How often do you switch?

Idk every hour or so?

28/29) What's your stance on sourcemates?

You're not your source so who cares? Like the concept is dumb and anti recovery (maybe this is my unpopular opinion, but honestly dunno what's the "community consensus" on these things)

30) Share something an alter made

We embroidered this onto a cap I don't remember who did it but it's funny

[cosmicellis]

My homie challanged me with Yuma in Character ask game. The ultimate ADHD child

My first impression of them  -That he was one weird looking boi even by yu-gi-oh standarts. Not to mention, at first he gave me strong “lol randumb” energy

When I think I truly started to like them  -Through the seson progression the antics and very lively attitude kinda got to me. Plus I do dig characters with positive attitude and being a bit... dim XD 

A song that reminds me of them - Fall Out Boy - The Last Of The Real Ones

How many people I ship them with -Canon: Astral, Mist... sometimes Shark -OC... Machi >u>

My favorite ship of them -I like Keyshipping, but I’m weak for Tentacle\lockship even if I can never make it healthy :v I like keyshipping because it feels like had the most development and it feels like these worked out their relationship from hating each other to sacrificing their faces for each other Lockship... Sometimes my inner sadist is whispering: yeee, make everyone suffer in this relationship, dew it

My least favorite ship of them -Skyship. No hate on this ship, nor on Tori, I always had a personal dislike towards “childhood friend” stuff

A quote of them that you remember -Aside from Kattobingu is a very cute “Ye” he did in the manga in a very beggingng, when Tetsuo said :You can also put spells face down

Your favorite outfit of them -His school uniform is a chef kiss

Your least favorite outfit of them -That fancy official one. Not my aesthetic choice...

Describe the character in one sentence -WILD

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character? -Explosive positivity and hunger...FOR everything

Sexuality hc! -Uh I guess Yuma, as a true golden retriver, loves everyone

Your favorite friendship they have -With Shark. Because only Yuma can annoy somebody enough to become friends with them (Manga including)

Best storyline they had -The plot with him going to Astral world was pretty narly

Worst storyline they had -Barrian onslught. I can only take so much of Yuma crying and being sad

A childhood headcanon -He seemed to be pretty normal, until his dad decided to invite him into a cult of Kattobingu

What do you think their first word was? -I say “mom”, cause it feels like she was around him more when he was smaller (You know, work and all)

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc) -I believe he was norm, up until certain point. He would like something, loose interest, get sad, get happy, but then... The key happened (when his dad gave it to him) and he decided to exclude “giving up” out of his vocabulary

The most random ship you've seen people have with them -You can’t surprise me. He was shipped with everyone under the sun

A weird headcanon -Yuma can cook pretty good, he’s just lazy

When do you think they were at their happiest? -I feel like when he reunited with Astral.

When do you think they were at their lowest? -Uh yes, 3 episodes of depression when Astral died

Future headcanon -He will become a Duel champion, but then quit, because of constantly changing meta and the fact that you can’t play your favorite deck forever. Power creeping and exploits would be just an end of fun

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone? -That in the beggning he felt lonely, even with friends around (But then Astral canceled his personal space and Me time)

When do you think they acted the most ooc -Yuma is a wild-child. Whatever he does can be explained with “He felt that way” cause that’s how he operates. He just feels that he had to do it... das it solid logic

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most? -When he was trying to save vector from Don Thousand. Cause he clings to his friends like a gum to hair

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet? -I’ll be boring here and say Yusei

The most unnecessary thing they ever did? -Trusting Vector. I know Yuma trust people like Tokonoske, but with Victor it felt bit much, but that’s my perspective

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?) -Probably would try mimicking his dad

The funniest scene they had? -There are too many. But the one I like is where he has conversation with Astral about takoyaki and it perfectly represents how my two last braincells work. Source: https://www.tumblr.com/ask-games-from-a-weird-girl/673569359300640768/character-ask-game

[the-haven-keepers-collective]

hi!! I wanted to ask about your work with dragons! if you're comfortable, could you sort of explain how you view them in context of your spirituality/how you work with them? like are they similar to historic dragons of folklore or are they something else? seeing dragons as spiritual beings is an entirely new thing to me (I'm a pagan, but I don't consider myself a witch) and I'd really love to hear more about it!!! :3

This is a cool question, ty anon! Apologies, this is a pretty long and rambly; I really like talking about dragons, hence the whole entire blog for it :D Feel free to send in another ask if something here isn't clear or I misinterpreted your questions^^

My belief in dragons, if I'm honest, is very UPG/personal experience. Something that, in my experience, anyone who's worked with dragons extensively* will probably tell you "Yeah it's a lot of just working with whatever you learn on your own, no one's beliefs will look the same. It's not something you can really research online or in books much." *I am not nor do I claim to be one of these people. I still feel new to dragon work, although I will acknowledge that if we're counting any time spent with them as "work" I've been doing that for years lol.

All that out of the way; I view them primarily as astral entities. Divinity in a sense, I suppose, although I feel- and I think they feel- like it's laughable to call them "above me." But that's more about my experience of divinity as an ally rather than an authority figure- I don't view any deity as above me, just bigger and different. (Sort of like a human to a small animal of sorts. We're not above them in my opinion, we're not better, but our experience of the world is fundamentally different and we can see things/understand things that they can't.)

WHOOPS philosophy aside; I view them as astral/nonphysical entities, and while the historical mythology is a huge part of my reason for believing in them* it only has so much sway in my practice. I have ADHD that makes research difficult, so most of it is just... what I've felt, seen, and done. I do believe the dragons I work with are the reason for historical mythology, but since they're idividuals, it wouldn't be all that much help anyway. Looking at the whole of America wouldn't tell you shit about me, as a weird comparison. *seeing as just about every culture has a "dragon" of sorts but we can't trace their origin point because they all came up with it independently.

Right now my work with them looks pretty similar to my deity work. I don't do spells or any such thing often, so it's mostly just chatting and enjoying each others presence. I ask for help when I need it, or for insight, but to be honest mostly right now my work with dragons looks like my familiar popping in like "Hey, you should value ur inner child and playfulness should have a place in your spirituality" and popping back out. Mostly I think they're leaving me to settle into my identity as a dragonkin (just in case you're from my main: my soul is that of a dragon/I have past lives as a dragon, it's a whole Thing) before forming a relationship with me. Something about figuring out what being a dragon means to me and what that looks like before seeing what it means to them so I don't assume that my identity has to look like theirs.

[somethin-human]

Sorry that I haven’t been posting art lately, anyway, my late night headcanons

Babe and Ash collectively have an unholy amount of stuffed animals.

Freelancer seems like the type of person to need to do something with their hands when they’re stressed so they either deep clean a portion of the apartment, or get into an arts and crafts mood.

Damian isn’t allowed in the pool during the summer because he will just turn it into a hot tub. Him and Huxley take advantage of that when it’s around autumn because it’s not too hot, but it’s also not as cold.

Darlin’ favorite weather is rain because they have an excuse to either stay inside, or piss off Sam by getting wet and muddy.

After hearing about Aaron’s past, Smartass would take him on little dates out to heal his inner child. Like they took him to Build A Bear for the first time and he felt so intimidated by all the options. He ended up settling on a really basic looking bear.

Sam, David, and Aaron probably have god tier singing voices, but no one has heard it before.

Guy has applied to work at several game stores and arcades during the end of his senior year of high school but for some reason, none of them hired him. He tried his damn hardest to stay out of food service but here he is lol.

(Based off the fact that I’ve recently made a giant whale shark plushie) Baby has walked into Ollie’s little office area in the apartment and he’s just on the floor, making a massive stuffed animal of some sort. They just give him a thumbs up and let him have his floor time.

Caelum will rift in randomly and just give Freelancer and Gavin a hug every so often and then rift out of the apartment like nothing happened.

Angel and David’s house I envision to be very spacious and minimalistic, like black and white, but Angel has an office in the upstairs and it’s all chaotic and artsy. That’s the only room that David won’t go cleaning because that’s their space to do whatever.

Babe is the autism to Ash’s ADHD

Angel and Sweetheart are the parent friends of the mates. Angel is chaotic and goofy, but they make sure everyone eats properly and gets enough rest. Sweetheart makes sure no one gets into trouble or does anything dumb.

Babe makes stickers for their online shop and sometimes they’ll randomly stick them onto Ash’s face when he’s doing something. Ash will sometimes also find stickers on his controllers and gaming consoles and he finds it absolutely adorable.

[lolotr]

10 fandoms 10 characters tag game

rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same

Thank you @courfaeriedust for tagging me!! It's been so long since I have been tagged in something like this that when I saw the post on my dash I didn't even bother to check. It took the notification for me to figure it out lol

Here we go, in no particular order:

1. Kaleidotrope (podcast). I, too, will begin here, since it's been four years and I'm still not over it. As much as it pains me, I think I will pick Drew, but mostly because I resonate with him so goddamn much. One of the running themes of this list will be trauma.

2. Call Me Katie (web series). Bates, it's obviously Bates, it could never be anyone other than Bates. My disaster bi, the boy who helped me start to realize I'm queer, with his dumbass puns, his neediness, his obsession with vlogging and pizza... I could go on forever.

3. The Adventure Zone - Balance (podcast). Hoo boy. How do I... Magnus? Or Lup? I'm gonna go with Magnus, if only because he is the one who never fails to make me cry. Travis (and Griffin) does such beautiful things with this character and role plays BRILLIANTLY. well, they all do. gosh jeez this is hard

4. Lord of the Rings (books, movies). Never mind, this is super easy. Samwise Gamgee. Next fucking question.

5. Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast. AHHHHHGGGGDKEKXJDI Zolf or Sasha???? At this very moment Sasha. She just-- I just-- my stabbing girl. My damaged, stabbing girl.

6. Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus (book serieses). (These are the two in the verse I've read so far.) It feels like a cop out, but I think Percy. It was between him and Annabeth, and I absolutely love their dynamic, whether it's before or after dating. But Percy is so smart and capable in certain ways and so utterly stupid in others (I have a theory that both he and Annabeth take hits to their mental stats when they are within thirty feet of one another). He's loyal to a fault, he's obsessed with blue food, he fought the god of war at 12 and won, he dove into Tartarus rather than be separated from his girlfriend/best friend again, he even has ADHD. Truly the character of all time.

7. Avatar: The Last Airbender (TV show). Zuko. I love the whole gaang but his character is done so beautifully and complexly. Like that is how you do a redemption arc, people. From the very beginning. And you do not make it easy for this sixteen year old who has committed war crimes, no you don't.

8. The Hunger Games (book series). Peeta. I live that he is optimistic, kind, and principled, but not naive, oblivious, or weak. His flaws are the same as his strengths: he's self sacrificing, self effacing, loyal. Everyone rubs Katniss's nose in the fact that he's good except him. But also, he's not perfect, and there's a lot of complexity tied to the fact that everyone thinks he's better than Katniss in every way, but he's mostly just better at hiding the darker parts of him. I love that we see nothing but the darkest parts and he's able to come back.

9. Dames and Dragons/LegendLark - first campaign (podcast). Fran. Again, I adore everyone, including NPCs, but I have such a soft spot for her. Noel plays her so beautifully and isn't afraid to make her jarring, make her part of the inner conflict of the team. I love how she's grown, and I'm excited and scared to see how the show wraps up.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show). This is tough, because some people's characterization varies so wildly sometimes, but... Giles. I'm going with my sexy dad who cares so fucking much about his adopted child(ren).

I had a lot of trouble with this list, because I've been in fandom since I knew what it was. I picked things that I still enjoy, and also things that I still enjoy talking about/analyzing. Because that's how I show love.

PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU: @all-chickens-are-trans @chaotic-gay-is-my-alignment @sonseulsoleil @yeahdefnot @greatestvoyageinhistoryofplastic @rovermcfly @the-vaudevillain @anywhoozles @wire-smith @cantdance anyone who wants to! Sorry if I tagged anyone who's been tagged already, I was doing this on mobile and couldn't be bothered to check

[loseallcontrol]

@samhainchrist500 tagged me to share 5 songs I’m currently listening to & I actually was going to make a Facebook post about it the other day bc I love sharing music w others as a love language so I love this

Current favorites:

1. All Things End: Hozier

2. Dream Girl Evil: Florence + the Machine

3. If I’m Crazy: Amigo the Devil

4. I Love You I’m Sorry (pts 1&2): Mel Bryant + the Mercy Makers

5. The Scab: an Unkindness

Bonus explanations that no one asked for:

1: hyped that he’s finally released new music & while the hook on Eat Your Young is the one going viral, this one is underrated. Idk I just love/accept the concept that everything ends either through naturally falling apart, or through death. There always some sort of natural conclusion so I shouldn’t hold on so tightly. Just appreciating things while they are happening. After my most recent breakup especially. While he did some things I find unacceptable and he probably thinks the same of me, I don’t think either of us are necessarily at fault. “We begin again” either starting over with ourselves, with others, or more broadly as energy transferring from one plane to another if you believe in that sort of thing.

2. Also her newest album from last year. Kind of talks about the Madonna whore complex and how we’re expected to be everything to romantic partners- a projection of their relationship with their mom, p*rnstars, a way for them to redo past mistakes in previous relationships and ultimately just repeating them to love into the next.. yeh

3. Loved him for years now, so my favorites by him always change. I would kill to see him live one day. The pure rawness of emotion and rasp in his voice is astounding.

4. Basically my internal monologue in relationships. Constantly over apologizing for everything and nothing. Highs and lows involved. Forever feeling like both too much and not enough. Also just part of the autistic/adhd/c-ptsd experience feeling like my neurotype makes me “wrong” compared to others. The inner child just begging to be forgiven and loved wholly as I am.

5. Another band I’ve loved for a few years now. Just a jaunty tune and as always, the emotion involved. “I never go to sleep, please let me go to sleep” always hits me like a gut punch as someone chronically tired who swings wildly between insomnia and hypersomniatic states.

I think you’re supposed to tag 5 people so:

@lazychicken310 @nighttimeghosties @queerb

& whoever else wants to do it lol

[cepheusgalaxy]

Oc rambles: Totsuka

Protagonist! She and Ola are the two protagonists of the story

Her country is inspired by ancient Japan although I'm not sure to when exactly. Although I can smudge the edges since it's fantasy. It is named Hōbi (法火)

FUN FACT ab Hōbi it is written with "law" and "fire" and I choose that to get is similar to how Japan is written irl (sun + book, 日本).

I also have a moreso sketched out concept for the country's origin that is something like "about three small countries were at war and at some point two of them teamed up to beat up the third one and when they won they got together and merge their names to form the new one"

Anyways, back to Totsuka

Her name is written as 戸塚 (door + hill, actually the name of a mythologic sword!)

Tot is from a noble family! She doesn't act the part, unless when she needs it

Due to having grown up in court she has a very polite way of insulting people. It's not subtle as to make it hard to make out she's talking shit to you, just veiled up enough she can pretend she said a completely harmless thing after.

She has a personality inspired by those shounen protagonists. You know, a bit rude and clueless sometimes, determined and hotheaded and simple minded and ultimately gentle and kind. I like those

T&O is co written with my brother (ish) so a lot of the tropes he likes kind of peek into the work. Totsuka is a product of that (he is the one that choose the name!)

Totsuka's family name is Akitahara (秋田原, "autumn", "rice field" and "original").

That is not conclusive yet (coz i want to look more into noble family structures in feudal japan), but as of now her dad has one wife and seven concubines. She is the twelveth child and has one sister, Honoo, from the same mother, the seventh concubine

Totsuka really hates horses. For no reason at all

She is a prime magician! Her family is known for being very military sucessful and to maintain tradition everybody in the Akitahara house gets training. Totsuka did not only receive top tier magical training but combat training as well! She's one of the most apt characters in the main cast

Tot has fae ascendence. I'm not really sure how they work in this setting yet, but they have colorful hair so that's why her hair is red at the top and more orange at the bottom.

Hōbi has four main ethnicities and I picked some Japanese ethnicities and mixed with a few others bc it's fantasy and I can do whatever I want, so Totsuka's canon race would be something close to *checks notes* a mix of Zulu and Ryukuyan. I messed around a bit coz I thought itd be fun lol

Totsuka is bi!

I've also considered giving her inattentive ADHD but that idea is currently on the back shelf

She is quite adventurous but knows nothing about living alone and her finances and food were a mess when she ran away from home and started travelling around. When she meets Olamina things get a little bit more on track

Her magic's inertia is fire! In this setting all magic works in an elemental cycle, and everybody has a bit of inner magic that works in its own internal cycle. Most magician's have a "resting" spot on that cycle, where they just automatically go to if you don't do anything. It's called an "inertia element" and commonly everybody gets good at casting in their inertia's domain first. It's also always the quickest type of magic to cast bc you don't gotta shift your magic alignment to another element first.

Tosuka is quite skilled and can switch elements pretty quick but aside from fire (her top 1) her favorite element is water. She isn't much of a fan of earth magic

I'm also still figuring out how that elemental aspect of magic works, practically speaking