#adhd is just
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
#adhd#autism#Dad: Don't worry little man it's super simple! Just let me - the figure you seek support from - tell you to not be afraid#and then - stay with me here! - juuuuuust do it!#voila. my job is done you're welcome have fun doing all the research and figuring out without issue now <3 no problem#(and no of course I won't acknowledge your previous adulting accomplishments bc that's just expected stuff anyway)#||#vent#i guess? man#i don't have opinions or feelings on the internet often but man
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the curse of adhd:
i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text
i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text
#every time#managed to actually send it today!#but also i have been reminded to post this by the fact that i just had a task to do in two different rooms just now#so i turned the light on in the room i was getting to second because my brain would go 'oh why is the light on that's weird'#and check the room and it would remind me to do the second task#in the less than five seconds between turning the light on and exiting the room#my brain went 'oh the light's on better turn that off before i leave'#and i had to manually catch myself#PLS.#adhd
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[I.D. an edited version of the "is this a pigeon" meme. A man with glasses, captioned "my overstimulated ass" points at a butterfly, captioned "someone making an annoying noise". At the bottom of the image, a dialogue caption reads "is this a crime deserving the death sentence?" end I.D.]
#i *tried* making an ID just bc I thinks it’s worthwhile when one of my posts takes off#but I��m not very good at this so lmk if there are edits I can do to make it more clear!#adhd memes#adhd meme#adhd problems#autism#autism meme#adhd#autism memes#autist#autistic meme#neurodivergence#neurodivergent#neurodivergent meme#neurodivergence meme#neurodivergent memes#burntblueberrywaffles#blue makes memes#actually autistic#actually adhd#greatest hits
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people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem
#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#executive dysfunction#shoutout to my dad lmao. mr ‘just outthink it!’#fuck! dude i never thought of that#waiiiit wait youre telling me all i have to do to overcome the Problems is put my mind to it#ok lemme consult the mind rq#im back. the mind is what has the Problems#my post#dave speaks
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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
#this is just me ranting sorry#im very tired and hungry#and i want to sleep but brain go brrrrr#well i used to be nice and smart and now im neither of those or however the song goes#pretty sure he was exaggerating cause looking back. it was good. but some of the wording was a lil wonky#adhd#actually adhd#executive dysfunction#actually neurodiverse#adhd paralysis#adult adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#adhd hacks#academia#neurodivergent#adhd skill regression#confessions of a burnt out gifted kid#<< i guess#former gifted kid#burnt out gifted kid#gifted kid burnout#realizing i sound rly pretentious here sorry -- formal speech patterns i picked up as an autistic child and never put down again haha
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i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing
#adhd#doodles#show this to your therapist instead of failing to explain it like i did#me: its like i cant control my thoughts like i was trying to think of something earlier today but#all i could think of was this giraffe eating leaves and no matter how hard i tried to focus the thought would just. replay#my therapist: what happens if you try to let the thought just play out#me: ........ i dont know but i dont want it to be there at all when im trying to do simple addition in a maths exam#10k#100k
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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I feel like there are a lot of people out there who needs to hear this:
If you dropped out of school because of diagnosed (or undiagnosed) ADHD, Autism, ADD, OCD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia etc… You did not fail. The education system failed you.
#neurodiverse stuff#i cannot say this enough#neurodivergent#actually adhd#adhd problems#autism#just autistic things#actually autistic#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#actually disabled#depressing shit#this gave me more emotional damage than my dad#i am going to rant#i am going insane#dropping out#school problems#send help#you can do this#you cannot convince me otherwise#you can't change my mind#you can do it#i believe in you#i believe in their healing powers#i believe in myself#academic assignments#assignmentwriting#assignment help#in this essay i will
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Has this been done yet
#actually autistic#disabled#disability#neurological problems#actually adhd#actually did#im just fucked#rambling from the berry bush
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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I Need Screen Time at Night to Fall Asleep As an ADHDer
AJ’s Brain
#adhd#adhd post#screen time at night#this really helps me sleep#idk why but listening to someone talk just helps for some reason#I’m sure some of you can relate#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#AJ’s Brain (Facebook)
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a comic/zine about coyotes
#art#comic#coyotes#comics#my art#digital#zine#idk what else to tag this if anything#i just think coyotes are so fucking cool and excellent queer symbolism. if you think about it#< he has thought about it so fucking much#shoutout to the handful of ppl who kept me company on stream last night too hehe#sorry if you get a version with typos they should all be corrected by now. i unfortunately have adhd and made this in two days#busted out all the illustrations for this in...one night for phx zine fest lmaO#our group found out two days before we were tabling that we got taken off the waitlist. had fun today tho#greatest hits
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man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.
I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"
it's just... lonely and sucks bad.
#I'm fine#just had a sort of blegh night with some people I'm playing dnd with#not a big deal but man the way I interact with neurodivergent people vs neurotypical people is like speaking two languages#except I'm only fluent in one of them and keep accidentally insulting people in the other#I'm just trying to make friends irl#flux's bullshuit#neurodivergent#autism#adhd#audhd#audhd things#audhd problems
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how do you explain autism and neurodivergency to a Viking from 1500 years ago?
#And just before this#Hiccup was explaining how wool is the worst texture and that he'd rather die than wear wool.#this bitch can fit so much autism#Jack has ADHD so that's how he was able to spot it#took one look at Hiccup and was like “That guy is NOT neurotypical”#rotg#rotbtd#jack frost#hiccup haddock#hijack#httyd
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As hilarious as it is to watch Floyd boredly swim across the screen, this is actually so devastating…
Floyd’s dream essentially involves him always winning, succeeding, and being the strongest at everything he does, which, as we know, is what he came on land to avoid. Life is more interesting for him when he isn’t able to achieve everything with ease.
Idia explains, in gamer terms, that if this were a video game one would simply be able to turn it off, walk away, and say “Not for me.” But Malleus has quite literally trapped Floyd in this dream, alone, without growth or enrichment, for all eternity.
And now Floyd’s given up on playing at all, reduced to swimming in circles like a goldfish in a bowl.
#twst#twst spoilers#twst jp#twisted wonderland#floyd leech#video#you can’t just do this to someone with ADHD malleus#malleus continues to not know anyone at all
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Having autism is like
Having ADHD is like
Having both Autism and ADHD is like
#actually autistic#actually adhd#autism#adhd#actually neurodivergent#also I’m not saying this is universal to everyone this is just my own personal feelings#anyway Happy National Autism Awareness Month#this is my first one fully aware and officially with both conditions#neurodiversity#neurodivergency#actually audhd#audhd
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