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[agdab]

[idkimnotreal]

the conundrum of adhd medication, as perceived by me.

my natural brain (aka weaker dosage than i need): i want to do everything at once, but i can't see myself doing any of those things because they all seem too much (executive dysfunction) or too difficult. i can't do anything, but i want to do everything, hence i get understimulated, and it hurts.

my medicated brain (overdosage): i don't want to do anything at all, every activity has the same appeal to my brain, be it drink a glass of water or conquer the world, both activities that would reward me 0 dopamine because i already have too much of it at that moment. i can actually see myself doing stuff, and if i want to do it i can do anything, but the problem is that i don't. if i miscalculate whether to take the meds or not, i may end up just waiting for my natural brain to return so i can find literally any joy in living again (luckily it's 8 hours at most for ritalin).

[looseduke]

my blog today is a great example of what happens to me when i take my adhd medicine and don’t have anything going on

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[ivebeenmade]

I wrote a thing. Sigh of relief. Still struggling with health issues and depression but that felt pretty damn good.

Gonna talk to my doctor tomorrow about an anti-depressant in tandem with the antipsychotic I take.

[syncedalone]

So uh.

I may have accidentally taken all 3 of my Adderall doses that are supposed to be spread throughout the day, all at once. By mistake. Because I was half asleep and took my 2 afternoon Adderall out of my pill organizer instead of my hyperthyroid meds (the pills are the same size), along with my morning one 💀

I currently have 50mg of Adderall coursing through my veins. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a pleasant experience 💀 it’s actually quite awful.

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

Argg

[idkimnotreal]

third world countries have lower average iqs because our education systems are worse. that’s a known fact.

what’s relatively unknown, though, is the damage that third world public education can do to potential potential 130+ iqs.

i myself am one such case. do you know what it’s like to go through school, the entirety of it, in zombie mode? do you know what it’s like to develop social anxiety because i could simply skip group assignments and presentations because a recovery exam awaited me at the end of each term, which i was guaranteed to pass with minimal effort? do you know what it’s like to be top of the class, and all the praises that it incurs, without ever learning to study because school wasn’t challenging enough? do you know what it’s like when every single one of your teachers is painfully apathetic to your talents because they’ve lost hope at this point?

i feel like my school system set me up to fail. for a short time near 2010, my family had the means to afford private school for me, but my father chose not to because of affirmative action for pupils from public schools to enter university. little did he know, pupils from military schools in brazil are also eligible for that, and the drop in grades necessary to pass is barely 5% if that. so it was useless in the end to keep me dumber for something that was never coming anyway.

and it just all enrages me. my teachers, my parents, the world. i can’t study now. i feel like it’s pointless. i know why it happens - i was praised for being smart without studying. it’s that simple. it’s core behaviorism stuff. and yet i can’t fix it. i can’t ever feel useful if i’m studying. feels like wasted time and effort (not even with adhd meds; it’s not a focus issue, i just don’t want to study because i can’t see the rewards at the end). because i can be smart without studying... that’s what they told me, unconsciously. it’s caught up with me at last.

[anxitiey]

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[hp-hcs]

it’s 1am, i just took 30mgs of adderall, and here’s a deep dive into an insignificant plot hole in the Harry Potter series

retroactively fix this now, joanne, you dumbass terf bitch

I stumbled across something interesting while doing some research for a new fic. While on the Wizarding World website (formerly Pottermore), I was perusing the page The Sacred Twenty-Eight when I noticed something interesting.

——

——

The Zabinis. Where are they?

We know virtually nothing about them canonically, but according to the Blaise Zabini’s Mother page on the Harry Potter fandom Wiki, “It is unknown if Zabini was her maiden name or one of her married names.” However, this page gives us literally nothing else of importance about her besides stating, “It is possible that she killed each of her husbands to gain their inheritance, given the "mysterious" nature of their deaths” which, no shit.

But if we’re under the assumption that wizarding pureblood society is patrilineal in nature, as is shown in both the films and the books, then wouldn’t Zabini be Blaise’s biological father’s last name that he inherited? Unless it belonged to one of his stepfathers, in which case, is Zabini even a wizarding family?

The list of the Sacred Twenty-eight pureblood families doesn’t list Zabini as one of them, but surely Blaise must be a pureblood if Draco’s willing to associate with him, right?

So if we can suspend our disbelief for a moment and make the pretty decent assumption that Ms. Zabini was married to strictly purebloods for all seven marriages, doesn’t that mean that she was probably responsible for the ending of (at least one) pureblood family line(s)? Or at least doing significant damage population-wise to this shrinking gaggle of people?

Which means, at least to my interpretation, that there are three possible options here.

It’s Blaise’s biological father’s last name. Is his bio dad a pureblood or not then?

It’s one of his stepfathers’ last names. Then who is his bio dad? What pureblood families is he related to by blood?

It’s his mother’s maiden name. Still raises the question of what pureblood family his dad was from, and a matrilineal society in the pureblood world seems pretty damn unlikely.

But at the same time, a bitch bad enough to slaughter seven of her husbands (allegedly) for their money is a bitch bad enough to keep her damn last name. With that being said, in this essay I

[selfmedblves]

Safe Snorting Guide

Insufflation or snorting is a common means for administering drugs. However, snorting still comes with some risks that can be avoided with the proper precautions.

How Insufflation Works

When a drug is snorted up the nostril, it enters the bloodstream through blood vessels that line the nose. This means the effects of the drug will have an earlier onset than the oral route.

The Risks of Insufflation

While insufflation at first glance has less risks than other methods of consuming drugs, it still comes with its risks. If you are snorting drugs, please keep in mind that:

Snorting a drug can still result in overdose.

Regular snorting can damage your septum and cause a hole to form.

Using bills or keys can expose you to unnecessary germs

When snorting drugs, the skin in your nose can become damaged and lead to bleeding, when snorting equipment is shared, this can spread Hepatitis C.

Preparing Drugs for Snorting

Note: If you are snorting any drug that is a press, keep in mind that the pill weight will not be the same as the amount of drug in the pill. Get a good milligram scale to weigh your pill. Divide the weight of your press with the amount of drug in the press. That'll tell you how many milligrams of pill powder you'd have to snort to feel the affects of 1 gram of drugs.

Example, if you get a press that is 30mg of adderall, but the pill weighs 90mg, you'd have to snort 3mg of adderall to get the same effects of snorting 1mg of speed. If you plan on snorting 15mg of speed, you'd need to snort 45mg of adderall to get the same effects.

If you want to snort a drug that isn't already in its powder form, there are two main ways to crush drugs into a fine powder.

The first way can be done with a lighter and a bag/piece of paper. Place the drugs in your bag or in between a folded piece of paper. Hold your bag/paper on a solid surface and hit the drugs with your lighter until it is a fine powder.

The second method is to use a pill crusher to crush your drugs into a fine powder. It is recommended that you clean your pill crusher with an alcohol wipe and to let it dry in between use. Especially if you are using it to crush a different substance.

Testing Drugs

Now that your drugs are a fine powder, you can snort them. It is recommended to do any drug testing prior to snorting. Presses can often contain more substances than they are sold as. And the content of substances in your press can be lower or higher than what it's sold as.

Drug testing kits are available at:

qtests.org (dosage)

dancesafe.org (drug checking)

bunkpolice.com (drug checking + dosage)

Snorting

After your drugs are finely crushed, measure out the amount of drugs you plan to snort. Know what constitutes a light, common, and heavy dose for the substance you are going to use.

DO NOT EYEBALL. Eyeballing is not recommended as it is highly innacurate and unreliable. Eyeballing can put you at higher risk of overdose. Measure your drugs with a milligram scale.

When your drugs are measured, pour them onto a clean surface and use a piece of cardstock, hard plastic, or a clean razor to cut your drugs into lines. Don't use banknotes or keys for snorting. Use a plastic straw, paper straw, or a glass stem.

Exhale, put the straw or glass stem in your nose (make sure it goes in above your nose hairs), and then inhale the drugs through the straw. After all the drugs are snorted, exhale out the mouth, and then put a couple drops of sterile water up your nose.

To reduce risk or irritation, use a vitamin e oil or saline spray after snorting and switch between nostrils on a regular basis.

Naloxone

It is still possible to overdose while snorting. Because of this, it is very important to carry naloxone on you. Naloxone comes in both nasal spray and IM injections.

0.4mg/mL IM and 3mg or 4mg IN naloxone are the best doses. Higher doses such as 5mg IM or 8mg IN naloxone increases the risk of withdrawal symptoms and put the person in more harm.

If you need to access naloxone but don't know where to go, I highly recommend Next Distro. I got IM naloxone from there for free and the people from there are wonderful.

For more resources on safe snorting and reponsible drug use:

[copperbadge]

Did you end up dropping the saffron to see if you could detect a difference, and if so what was your conclusion?

For context, Anon is asking about saffron supplements' possible benefit for people with ADHD -- funnily enough, the saffron my mother gave me is culinary and totally unrelated. I've had it for about a year and just now got round to cooking with it.

The supplemental saffron is something I heard about from a parent of a couple of kids with ADHD. She was having trouble getting their meds during the shortage, and she said she'd heard saffron could help, so she'd tried that. She said she'd seen some reduction in the hyperactivity more than she'd seen an increase in focus.

I'm skeptical of holistic and herbal treatments for medical conditions mainly because when something non-pharmaceutical works, modern pharma tends to co-opt it and turn it into medication very quickly. I was encouraged mainly because she wasn't a crunchy No Prescriptions parent, she WANTED her kids to have their meds, she was just trying to get them anything that'd help in the meantime.

So I dug around and found that a study had been done in Spain that seemed to indicate 30mg of saffron, as a once-daily supplement, has some kind of impact on ADHD neurology. It was a short study and a small sample size, but the nice thing about saffron is we know its long-term effects, so the only real harm is being out $20 for a bottle of 30mg pills. (It is tough to find 30mg saffron supplements that don't look like a cult is making and selling them, and herbal remedies aren't subject to strict QA controls, so the real risk is you'll get pills with Something Else in them.)

But I did some tinkering, and I found that the best application for me is to take the saffron with an Adderall, where it seems to act as a kind of boost. I take 10mg instant-release twice daily but occasionally I take 20mg in the morning, something the psychiatrist gave me permission to do. Saffron plus 10mg Adderall hits a really good level for me; 20mg Adderall is occasionally helpful; saffron plus 20mg Adderall is Oh Dear Too Much.

Ultimately there's not a great way for me to test it while accounting for the placebo effect, although being fair to me that's not something I've been super subject to in the past. I notice a subtle boost with the saffron, and when I had to refill it I deliberately went without for a few weeks to see if I noticed a decline. I did have a few moments throughout that period of "Jeez, has my Adderall stopped working?" but mostly it just felt like a slower, gentler onset of effects. I've also tried taking saffron without the Adderall on weekends, to see if it improved my focus; I'd do something like take the saffron but pack a couple of Adderall, decamp from my place to the library or a cafe, and do some writing. Certainly saffron alone doesn't have the "well, I felt that kick in" effect Adderall does, so I wouldn't want to depend on it alone, but I generally didn't have to take the meds to focus when it was just something mellow like writing.

I suspect results may vary, since I was diagnosed with Inattentive, not Hyperactive or Mixed, and the saffron is meant to work on the hyperactive aspect. But yeah, it seems to have an effect for me that I miss when I don't take it. It's in one of those weird inbetween situations where we have some research but not enough, so I encourage folks to research it, try it for themselves, and just be healthily skeptical and cautious when doing so.

[omniseurs-blog]

My YouTube comment reposted - mental illness, schizospec, psychosis, ADHD, distrust of doctors, rage/anger vent, loss of childhood, drug use

I was diagnosed with emotional behavioral disorder NOS and ADHD at 4, depression at 10, schizophrenia at 14, changed to schizoaffective bipolar and PTSD at 15. Here's my (and my family's) story.

Before any of my immediate family was born, my paternal great grandpa was... "Quirky", aka delusional and had hallucinations, and my great grandma refused to get him help, because it meant institutionalization or lobotomy. She never told her kids (my paternal grandpa) about it, they simply divorced when the kids were old enough to work. This is still all I will ever know about my great grandpa. My grandpa had his first psychotic break in his 20s or 30s (all I know is my grandma saying he's been insane for a long time, which is why she divorced him) and hid it well enough until his 50s where he was institutionalized and diagnosed "early onset dementia without Alzheimer's features" or something along those lines, he used to call my dad up all the time talking about the mafia and how my mother was poisoning him. My father had his first break in his 20s as well after the birth of my older brother and the death of his brother, but he didn't get treatment until his 30s well after my mother divorced him when I was 3. For a long time I didn't know a single thing about him besides what my mother told me, "he's abusive, he's evil, he's crazy, he's a terrible person" (my mother got diagnosed with BPD recently, so I don't even know if those were lies or not), but one thing she did teach us was that he was schizophrenic.

And then there's me. I was a shy kid, never trusted anybody, didn't play, didn't socialize, took a long time to start speaking, and... Held a very negative view of schizophrenia all the way until I was diagnosed. I was put on ADHD meds at 4, 20mg of adderall, the same age I was diagnosed. I began hallucinating full visible dead and bleeding people because of them and I had paranoia of being followed and watched. My mother did warn the psychiatrist that schizophrenia ran in the family, but my psychiatrist just raised the dose higher, this time 30mg of Ritalin, and put me on risperidone, 5mg... I hallucinated even worse, had crying fits from the delusions, but I was completely and utterly zombified. Why was I zombified on "such a low/starter dose"? Because I was a maybe 60lb F O U R (4) year old. Since the hallucinations and delusions didn't stop, and my mother insisting that I had schizophrenia, the doctor ensured my mother "children can't have schizophrenia" and diagnosed me emotional behavioral disorder NOS, switched me to Vyvanse at 25mg, and switched my risperidone to a common antidepressant I can't remember the name of (Prozac?). Of course, I was perfectly happy then, absolutely off the walls running around, wandering around, all that, so the SCHOOL system said they were going to call CPS because they didn't believe my parents were giving me my medications... Which meant they were the ones dishing out my medications to me and I missed the doses I was supposed to take before bed.

Thankfully, we ended up moving when I turned 10, and the new school never threatened CPS or demanded proof I'm taking my meds, so on my own account, I quit my own meds. I went unmedicated aside from taking a different antidepressant (genuinely can't begin to guess the name) around 12-13. I completely forgot I had any mental illness other than obviously having attention problems, fidgeting more than everyone else, severe anxiety that I thought was normal, and frequent nightmares and bedwetting, and a lack of awareness that I didn't fit in with others (mostly because I didn't have the urge to socialize with anyone). Then... the teenage years hit. My brother was experimenting with dr*gs, weed, LSD, computer duster, m*th, all of the dr*gs that were said to be bad in dare, and I did them too. We got past computer duster and weed, my brother got into worse drugs, new years swung around at 14 and they had some "high quality acid" that turned out to be NBOME, or fake bitter acid that makes even the most mentally stable freak out.

New years 2015, I was 14 years old, we took the fake acid, all 6 of us. People became manifestations of my mental illness, my brother was ADHD, his friends sister was depression, his best friend was anxiety, his best friends gf was PTSD... And his friend was schizophrenia. I was only diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. The TV was talking to me, the music was about me, the universe was going to collapse if I made the wrong move. Sure, a bad trip is a bad trip, but the bad trip didn't end after 12, 24, 48 hours, a week, 2 weeks, a month, 5 months, a year, 2 years, 4 years. 4 years is what it took to START recovering, dozens of different combinations of meds, 20 hospitalizations, 4 different hospitals, 3 different states, countless amounts of doctors, and 3, going on 4, disability applications. From 10th to 12th grade, I missed an average of 100 days per year, had a 0.0gpa, and just barely graduated through GED while experiencing active psychosis

What could've been diagnosed at age 4, what I could've been properly medicated for, what didn't take a genius to figure out. 14 to roughly 18 were all a delusional mess, I'm 23 now. I still act like a 14 year old because... I'm still there. I should still be a kid.

[sabakos]

i'm more productive in other ways but i cant play stardew valley anymore, my farm operates at too high a level of abstraction for my brain to comprehend now that im not taking 30mg of adderall a day