#actually what I've been thinking about for a while is that I'd like to try trading visual art for some written fiction

[ao3commentoftheday]

While looking for something else, I found an old ask I answered about "ideal chapter length" in terms of word count.

I've been asked this probably a dozen or more times, and each time I need to take a moment and adjust my thinking to take the asker's point of view into account. Because the thing is? The only time I ever try to factor the word count into how I write a story is when I'm aiming for a true drabble.

For whatever reason, this difference in thinking stuck with me today and I actually considered why that might be. And I think it's because I'm in my 40s and the first 25-30 years of my life, any stories I was reading were printed on paper and bound into physical books.

When I imagine a novel, I still think of a mass market paperback on my bookshelf. An average one would be maybe an inch thick, probably in the neighbourhood of 300 pages. A long one would be maybe as much as two inches thick and 500 or more pages long. A short one was always nice to have because it filled in the gaps in the shelf because 200 page books were so much narrower. Or so it seemed.

When I started posting my fic online, I still thought in terms of pages. I'd type them out in whatever word processing software I was using at the time, and I'd usually get a chapter's worth of ideas into 3 or 4 pages. Turns out that's about 1000 words, which makes sense with the number of 1000 word essays I wrote in high school. I'd been trained to encapsulate an idea into approximately that length.

And that's what it comes down to. The thing that always made that question seem weird to me. A chapter isn't about how many words there are in it, just like a cake isn't about how many cups of flour exist in each slice. A chapter is a an idea that helps make up a bigger idea called a story, and it needs to be however many words that idea needs to be to get it out.

[pillowspace]

Could you share more about your modern no loops au?

Oh, I'd love to!!!! So I have a 10k word draft currently. Haven't touched it since December because I've been writing other things, but I'd like to return to it when I'm done. I didn't actually know what I was writing until I started. I decided to go for the first line I could think of, which was:

So I had to build an AU off of that from that point onward.

It's a bit of a "post-canon" setting in a sense, except neither Siffrin nor Loop have met the party yet, and the two live together in an apartment. At some point, Loop's attacked, and they begin to bleed out in an alleyway. Odile catches sight of them and rushes to help. They appreciate her efforts, but they die anyway.

They've died plenty of times before though...! So they wake back up. They still have the stranger's coat from when she was trying to help, so they hide within it and head back home, feeling bad for having likely traumatized a random person with the sight of them dying.

A few months go by after this though, and Odile stumbles upon Loop at the library. Loop doesn't recognize her at first, but Odile recognizes THEM, and proceeds to accidentally corner them which freaks Loop out.

Odile, a complete stranger, instantly wants to know everything about Loop. How their life has gone, how they're alive, etc. So Loop decides that they DON'T LIKE ODILE, but that they'll at least find the time to bring her coat back to her to repay the favour of when they had died.

After Loop returns home, Siffrin reveals to Loop that he's... worried about them. Loop's been entirely dependent on him the entire time, and he thinks that they should have friends. Loop denies needing anyone but them, all the while struggling with bottled up trauma they want to talk about but are unwilling to go to Siffrin for.

This sticks to Loop though. Next time they see Odile at the library, they get to talk to her now a bit less freaked out, and return her coat to her. (This isn't art directly of the fic but I did draw this after writing Loop returning the coat). She reveals some of her curiosities about Loop, and although Loop still doesn't want to answer, they're curious what she means by the word "explore."

Loop makes a bit of a mistake though. They accidentally give Siffrin the impression that they're friends with Odile now, and Siffrin's happy for them!

Loop doesn't want to correct them though, so instead accidentally snaps at them for pestering them for the details on this totally real friendship.

There's a lot of hints scattered throughout the fic of Loop having very bad trauma. A large star-shaped scar on their chest. Implications that they're very familiar with Siffrin's blood. Having nightmares and waking up feeling like they have to kill Siffrin. Being so used to panicking whenever they wake up without Siffrin being there that they already know how to try and calm themself down.

I haven't gotten to writing the interview itself yet, but I want for Loop and Odile to actually start to become friends. I want for Loop to finally agree to an interview. And perhaps in an Interview with the Vampire (2022) style of things, start off completely contradictory and rewrite how it all started based on their own outbursts of emotions. Odile would catch onto this though, and get them to stick to the truth or not answer at all.

And thus, through much trial and error, Loop would eventually tell the story of meeting King. A nice man who Loop had once been friends with (it takes a LOT to pry that out of Loop), before they were ever Loop, but rather Siffrin. Loop would talk about how they had grown close over being from the same forgotten country, but that they'd come to learn that King had... other motives in wanting to get close to another Islander.

King had been studying something called Wish Craft.

King wanted to immortalize the Island's memory. Or at least, the memory that something existed from it. Perhaps somehow, some way, King could use Wish Craft to make things right again.

So what better way to try than to immortalize Loop?

Loop was betrayed and made to be a personal test subject. They weren't the first person to be a test subject, but they were the first success to survive it. Loop died very frequently those days, and after a long enough time, they reached a breaking point. They didn't want to suffer alone!! They wanted company!!! They wanted Help!!!!

Which tore Loop's strength out of them to create Siffrin.

Loop cannot regret Siffrin. But they regretted it at the time, as the experiments... lessened... on Loop, while the focus instead shifted onto Siffrin. The two were all each other had, so it pained Loop to have their burden fall onto him. Another regret was that Loop had become significantly weaker after Siffrin came to be, giving them less of a chance to fight back and escape. Loop was very protective of Siffrin, all the while wondering if they should just permanently kill him to get their strength back and escape. Towards the end, they almost went through with it.

They didn't though. The two eventually escaped together, sticking close to each other and occasionally moving from town to town while keeping their past secret.

I imagine that Loop will need... a lot of time and effort to tell Odile about all that though. They're very hesitant to even tell her that Siffrin exists, still wary about trusting her.

So between interviews, Loop and Odile just hang out, and Loop will come home to Siffrin who continues to live his own life. Loop will find themself healing just as Siffrin manages to.

If I do finish this fic, I would like for Loop and Siffrin to wind up friends with the whole party in it.

[itsrlymine]

This is 🦇🕸 anon, I know it's been a while 🫶🏾. I deleted tumblr for a bit to fully work on what your posts said and to just decide and more importantly believe that I have what I want and I have some success stories🙃. First I really wanted some new clothes this year considering there's barely anything for me to wear at my dads house, especially with the way my style keeps changing, so from the start of this year I started stating that he was going to take me shopping, I'd daydream about it and try remind myself when he was going to take me shopping, as if I forgot. Not that long after I started thinking like this my aunt (on my dad's side) asked to go thrifting with me because she was interested, we ended up not just going thrifting and getting a bunch of clothes but we also went to the mall to get even more clothes 🫠 it was the best shopping spree I've ever had and literally everything I got was on sale (I've also manifested always attracting sales and discounts). Now I have a full wardrobe of clothes to wear that I actually like😍.

This year I also decided I wanted to get my mum a kurt geiger bag for her birthday since she's always wanted one, that day when me and my aunt went shopping we actually went in store to look at it and decided to leave it but seeing it in person made the goal feel so much real. The next day she video called me saying she bought it and that I could pay her back later. Now I'll be able to give my mum her dream bag even before her birthday which I'm SUPERRR happy about. I've been manifesting a lot of material things lately since this is the year I decided I'm finally going to get a vivienne westwood internship and actually finally get a job and money, wish me luck ❤️ and thank you for the inspiration your page has given me to actually take action🫶🏾🫶🏾

hello 🦇🕸!!!!! babes i love this for you omg. i even had to take a break from this page a lil bc i also have to practice what i preach and i'm glad to hear how you've been choosing the world you are living in. these successes eat btw omg i'm in the middle of upgrading my wardrobe as well omg great minds think alike. i love that you are experiencing how much ease comes with choosing bc that's all you have to do!!! congrats on. your vivienne westwood internship and your new job babe! thank you so much for sharing!

[joyful-soul-collector]

Get to know your mutuals!

What's the origin of your blog title? When I was in middle school, someone told me "you dress so goth, but your personality is so happy. You're like a really cheerful grim reaper. A joyful soul collector." And that's been my username for most everything ever since!

OTP(s) + Shipname: Oooh, right now it's Jayvik, and tbh I can't think of another one, this is one of the first ships I've been really really into tbh. Other dynamics focused on my blog have actually been more platonic, like Irondad

Favorite color: Red!

Favorite game: Dungeons and Dragons! Both as a player, and DM!

Song stuck in your head: The Challenge - EPIC

Weirdest habit/trait? I download thousands of still frames of tv shows that I love so I can make memes out of them. But I have to sift through and delete all the pictures that are blurry or unnecessary, which takes hours. I think it's super fun because I'm autistic and really enjoy sorting stuff lol

Hobbies: Writing, playing DnD, making memes, and hanging out with my friends!

If you work, what's your profession? Not so much a profession lol, I work at a toy store. It's a part time job while I'm in college, studying to be a radiologist!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically? Radiologist. But ANY job I wish? Professional DM or Professional DnD player, like the people on Dropout or Critical Role haha

Something you're good at: I'm good at writing stories! I can write them well and write things that make people feel deep emotions, and I like that.

Something you're bad at: Recognizing when someone doesn't want help haha. I tend to try and fix things or help people when they just want to vent, and it ends up frustrating for both of us.

Something you love: I love stories. Any kind, I love so so many

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: My favorite shows and stories, my dnd campaigns and characters, my stories and ideas

Something you hate: Fascism. Bigotry. Willful ignorance. Fearmongering. Propaganda.

Something you collect: Dice!! I'm a dice goblin for sure haha

Something you forget: I often forget chores unfortunately

What's your love language? Physical touch and acts of service

Favorite movie/show: Ooh right now it's definitely Arcane haha

Favorite food: Sushi!

Favorite animal: Cats!

What were you like as a child? In a word? Unwell haha. I'm a good bit better now, still struggling with a lot, but better than I used to do

Favorite subject at school? English, I was always good at that class

Least favorite subject: Chemistry. I hate that shit so much lol

What's your best character trait? I think that I'm kind and willing to stand up for others

What's your worst character trait? I can be disrespectful to some types of spirituality unfortunately. It just doesn't make logical sense to me. I have two friends that are fully convinced that a cursed doll gave some youtuber testicular cancer. And I just can't see the logic or critical thought in that

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Mmm. All of fascism shit is definitely damaging my calm so I'd love to change that specifically

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Harry Allen. Google him he's a badass transgender cowboy

Tag as as many mutuals as you want!!

@sb-essebi @glitternightingale @blatterpussbunnyfromhell @captainhollowstories @kydrogendragon @misforvendetta @poetryinmotion-author @bocularteletheric @kai-ovillager @thatoneneuvichiliauthor @4amarcanethoughts @alexspearsxoxo @kotonni @buckybucananbarnes @kakesuwolf @martybaker @patheticjayce @sleepycrowhours @aixabi @up-the-bracket @snoopyviktor @emdashflower @humanshapedstress @hellsalore @juuzousmom @softandslow @fangirlshenanigans04 @batmans-attic @lvrstrsh @bluemoyai @tearexxwrites @bodyofvvater @lifeandeathepub @areesespiece @lancesblueazaleas @monaisme @milkywaysipper @carmendyy @tseecka @heazueken @tophat-69 @velocitychroma @prjctdiva @gremlinofchaos @ourvectorviktor @kenjinx @jxmimac @gh0stedvhampir @voxconcordia @arcaneheraldslawyer

ngl I tried to tag ALL my mutuals that I have, but this was how many it allowed me to do before it made me stop lol so here's as many as I could fit!

[ray935sworld]

i physically NEED to know your opinions on a/b/o pedronzo

pls i need it like there is no tomorrow

-mango anon 🥭

Oh 🥭, my dear you are sending me down a spiral with this one. Funny enough I was actually thinking about a marcmarc ABO AU today 😂

Alright, first off, talking about designation. Right out of my guts, I'd say Omega Dani and Alpha Jorge. (Partially cause that's how the smut ABO scene sitting in my draft is written, ups). Just from their whole dynamic, it'd make sense to me. Dani being more calm and level headed while Jorge can be totally unhinged and easy goes over the top. Especially when it comes to Dani.

And I totally see Jorge trying to "court" Dani with his weird behavior. Cause that boy has no idea how to court an omega properly. Especially one that's older than him. So I'm putting his whole asshole behavior when they were teens as him trying to prove to an older omega that despite his age he is tough and can defend Dani. But that idiot kinda went over the top and made it look like he was fighting Dani himself rather than defending him, ups. Idiot Jorge.

And then he tried to prove himself to Dani on track. Like in his mind the omega only choses the best one so he is desprete to be the best even if it ends up with him fighting on track against Dani. And when he stepped up before him, oh Jorge was heartbroken. Definitely saw it as a set back and that he wasn't good enough yet.

Meanwhile Dani is kinda interested in Jorge but he is so not into that macho asshole imagine Jorge is pulling up.

Soooo maybe, let's say... A little break down from Jorge? Like he is trying SO HARD to get Dani to notice an like him but the more he tries the more Dani ends up hating him. So one day he is fed up. He is tired but he can't stop trying. Like he's alone and he's ready to throw away all attempts and never think of Dani again. Then he steps in the paddock and between all those 10000s of smells he immediately clocks Dani's and he's like. "Nevermind. I want that" and he's gone.

And it hunts him SO MUCH that when Dani once again ignores his attempts and wants to leave Jorge is like "No. Just fucking tell me what I have to do! I've been trying for years now. Please. Please, whatever it is, I promise I will be what you need. I'll be a good alpha. I'll be the perfect alpha for you. Just - Just let me try. I can protect you. I can defend you. I can - Please!" something like this. I imagine him angry in love if that makes sense. Like he is in love, he is soft and all, but he still has so much anger in his chest that it has covered his love up too much.

And Dani just stands there, staring at him. He stares at Jorge, not understand what is going on and then maybe he realizes that Jorge is not just the angry macho kid he thought he was. "Jorge [first time he called him by his first name if you care]... An omega doesn't need an alphas protection. We don't live in 1920s. An omega needs an alphas love"

And THAT RIGHT THERE is where Jorge understands he fucked up. So he either ends up googling or asking someone he trust. Probably an omega though. And he then starts trying to use the textbook courting way. He is polite, even though he feels really awkward. He uses all the knowledge he gathered about Dani in the years (do I think he has a small diary with all the things Dani mentioned to him/ in an interview that he likes? Yes. Yes I do.) to kinds wooh him. He buys him his favorite chocolate, flowers, a blanket, stuff like that. And then the first hoodie exchange (both had already stolen shirts from the other for the smell)

Okay now this is all still very very soft cause I think that's what's needed at first. Soooo let's spicy it up a little, shall we?

Heat or rut? So either unexpected rut with Jorge returning to his asshole tendencies and Dani being fed up and distance cause he doesn't know about the rut yet only to be found by a very desprete and begging Jorge (Dani is getting fucked into the next week after that) or unexpected heat?

Both are great BUT I think I'll go with the unexpected heat. Now what if Dani is being clingy with someone else? Maybe his teammate? Nicky Hayden? For the record this would be in a way that Dani feels sick and weak and very out of his own skin and Nicky had massive dad vibes. So nothing actually sexual. Maybe Dani is even a little bit scared cause he knows now that he and Jorge are dating, the heat will be even worst than the ones he spent alone. So either torture when he's alone or him in heat with Jorge when they hadn't really talked about the whole rut/heat thing (or for the drama, it's early in the relationship and they didn't had sex yet).

And when Jorge notices that Dani is hanging to Nicky he is kinda sad/ jealous even though he knows Nicky isn't after Dani. But still, that is his omega. He definitely hates that the Americans smell is on HIS Dani.

So once Jorge and Dani meet, it's even worst. Dani definitely can't think straight atp anymore and just straight up hangs on Jorge. Like full on, hugging his arm, forehead against his shoulder, begging him to go anywhere where they are alone. Jorge is fully concerns cause he has never seen Dani, strong, confident, cold like this. And once he understand what's going on ("Jorge... Please... Please, alpha... Said... You said you'd protect me. Please, save me. It's so hot.") OH THAT BOY IS STRESSED!

He is so scared to somehow fuck up, it's almost scary. He is taking Dani to his hotel room. (Dani by then is wearing the hoodie Jorge wore a minute ago. He was sitting on Jorge's lap during the taxi ride and Jorge was really thankful for the dark window to the driver. Heavy make out session with Dani's hand dangerous close to Jorge's pants.)

And as soon as the door is closed, the action begins. Im not gonna go into to many details cause I'm not that confident in my NSFW writing but Dani wants to ride Jorge just as hard as he rides his bike. He is screaming and wants more and more and comes more time than Jorge knew a human body was capable of. He is getting knotted and continues. (Sorry) Jorge is so in love and crazy he definitely bits Dani's shoulder. Maybe even the mating mark.

And then once the heat goes down, Jorge is slightly panicked cause he's unsure if Dani was even clear enough to actually give his concent to the whole thing. Meanwhile Dani is laying next to Jorge, really happy, still drunk on all the sex and more than happy to still have a reminder of that.

Okay now this kind of escalated. For the record I did NOT think about Pedrenzo in an ABO verse yet so if there are some things that don't add up/ make sense/ not properly thought through it's cause I made this whole thing up while writing in like 30mins.

Anyway, the other alternative would be Alpha Dani and Omega Jorge. Intresting as well. This would include a very in denial/ lying Jorge, that's trying to hide his designation from the world. So he's overly agressive in his teens to make people think he's an alpha and to keep them away from him so they don't find out the truth. His father definitely has something to do with that. And then there's alpha Dani, calm and trying not to draw to much attention on himself outside of the track. And they always seems to collide.

I'm thinking since Dani would not fit the typical alpha behavior, Jorge would call him out in one of his rages when Dani was trying to talk to him about his unsafe riding "I am NOT taking criticism from some small, weak freak. I don't care what a fake alpha like you think of me. You can't even fight properly" Now something about this hist Dani really hard cause while they subconsciously are connected and competable, both don't know yet. So hearing *his* omega call him fake, weak and especially small (biggest insecurity and so far Jorge was the only one not to throw this at him) this would definitely bring a scar he can't explain himself.

So what if Dani starts keeping his distance from Jorge and since Jorge is an omega this would cause him loss of anxiety and frustration cause he knows he shouldn't act the way he did towards *his* alpha.

Next point would be, idk how but somehow Dani ends up being stressed and sad and panicked. (Maybe a crash?) and he hides in a dark corner having a panic attack and Jorge ends up looking for him. Like he is already distressed and suddenly he smeels Dani having a panic attack and all the fights are forgotten. He is going to comfort Dani. Especially after what he said. So he does exactly does.

Jorge sits down next to him. "What do you want? Do you want to yell at me again and call me fake? Weak? Small? The useless pedrosa, can't even be a real alpha and-" And Jorge just hugs him. Dani accepts and Jorge leans against him, head against his chest and he apologizes and tells him the truth.

And after that Dani is slowly starting to court him. He shows Jorge love and they are happy. *possible unexpected rut/heat - but in this case actually preferably Dani being in rut to make Jorge fully understand how crazy Dani is about Dani*

Thoughts? Did you like it?

[canisalbus]

Hi, hi! I just came by to say hi and just say I absolutely love love love your art and art style! It is absolutely ethereal! I don't know how to describe it but it genuinely feels like I'm standing outside on a hill during a warm day and a nice breeze just happens to blow by as a sun beam hits me. That's the best possible way I can think to describe your art and artstyle. It just fills me with so much joy!

(on a side note, I tried looking and I couldn't find anything, I was just wondering if you had commissions?)

That's such a poetic way to say it ;_; Thank you!

It's genuinely such a massive compliment to tell an artist you like their specific style, since for many it's a deeply personal part of their identity, how they see the world and what they find visually appealing.

When it comes to commissions, I'm afraid I've never been a very commission-oriented artist ´v`' The short reason for that is that they stress me out disproportionately. I get immense performance anxiety. I'm not totally opposed to the idea, I just don't think I have what it takes right now. Maybe in the future.

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A three-circle venn diagram with Gabriel from Ultrakill, the Lonely Wizard from Inscryption, and the Hollow Knight from the game of the same name. Between Gabriel and Lonely is the text "guys will see a character with vague biology, say 'is anyone gonna buggify that' and not wait for an answer". Between Lonely and Hollow is the text "void beings placed in solitary confinement by a superior they admired with the intention of keeping them there forever". Between Hollow and Gabriel is the text "existed only to be a tool for their god. just wants to be perfect. never allowed to be a person". In the center between all three is just the word "trauma". End ID

having Thoughts

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[earl-grey-crow]

.

[coriander-candlesticks]

I've been trying to figure out how to incorporate religious practice into my life & trying to get over the fear of being...annoying? If that's the right word? It feels a little like tugging on the gods' sleeves when I make more than one offering a day to them even though I know I'm not, like, being rude by *checks notes* giving them things or dedicating time/activities to them. Today I made a dessert in preparation for tomorrow's Pathfinder game and dedicated that time spent baking to Hestia and Aphrodite, and it was really nice! I feel like I'm starting to find my footing despite my worries. I'm also trying to make sure I take time where I'm not thinking about religion at all so that I don't start to ruminate/spiral. It's happened a few times already to varying degrees and it's! Not fun!

It's possible it's hindsight/confirmation bias, but I do think the vibes of my tarot deck changed when I started reaching out to the Greek deities. It makes sense: I was using my deck to reach out to a completely different deity/deities before I started exploring Hellenic polytheism. And it's definitely not in a bad way, just more energetic and...light? When before it was heavier (in a comforting way). I've gotten consistently coherent pulls, too, which is nice.

I've been trying to remember to pour a libation to Hermes at certain street corners when I'm out & about, but I have to make a game plan for when other people are also in the area, even if it's just psyching myself up so I don't look awkward while I do it. I have a pendant that I keep in front of his altar/shrine jar that I try to remember to take with me when I travel, and it's been cool having something in my pocket that's consistently reminding me of him because I check so often to make sure it's still there. There were some...issues with my commute on Monday (a true comedy of errors on the city's part) but the change in routine was a *lot* easier to handle in the morning. Of course, the unusually cool temperature helped, but I do accredit the smooth transition to Hermes because I wasn't stressed at *all* for the vast majority of my commute when I usually would have been wiped from the mental/sensory strain of having to pivot & kinda just hope I guessed right on what to do next. The commute home was a nightmare but I didn't have a whole-ass work day ahead of me after that so the stress didn't matter as much (and I was able to get through the last bus ride & walk from the stop which I wasn't sure I'd have the mental fortitude for).

I'm almost done with the statue of Hermes I've been working on, and I finished a set of alphabet oracle "stones" (squares made from air dry clay...would that technically be closer to potsherds?) tonight. I'll share a picture of them once I finish their bag- I have some leftover green cotton yarn from a recent project that I think will go well with them. We'll see how well they hold up, though I'm not planning on doing the "shake them until one falls out" method so hopefully they'll last a while. I worked on them in the living room this evening, instead of in my room. I'm getting more comfortable showing little elements of what I've been exploring to my housemates; it was nice to be able to sit & paint & listen to the iliad while my friend did his own thing next to me on the couch.

I'm still trying to figure out how to gauge each housemates' potential reactions. It'll probably be fine: friend 1 actively has an altar-esque space and uses tarot cards and a pendulum and friend 2 is friend 1's wife. I'm a bit worried about friend 3 being weird about it, at least at first, but considering he was experimenting with witchcraft-esque things a few years ago (I distinctly remember charms & him discussing which of the wheel of the year days he wanted to observe) I think I'm overthinking things. He's an atheist & his view of witchcraft was, at the very least, *similar* to the psych model, which I think is where the hesitation has been coming from on my end. I have therapy this weekend so I think I'll start bringing things up then. The office my therapist is in openly advertises all sorts of alt/witchcraft things so I think I'll be safe there lol

[aquilamage]

I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:

been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)

I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough

ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm

in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them

also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff

underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[i-appear-misssing]

I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #267

[medicinemane]

And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"

I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse

And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa

And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house

I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished

...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)

And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff

There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government

No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)

Like have some accountability there and in every situation

Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free

If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off

I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)

But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced

Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around

I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)

...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change

(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)

(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)

[monstermp3]

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