#and made me reassess the situation which was so important!!!! it was much needed!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pbandjesse · 2 months ago

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I just finished up leaving my first event at the museum. And honestly I think I went right. It was a fairly simple event because it was corporate and it was outside and they weren't inside at all but I think I did a really good job and I remembered where all of the lights were and I mostly remembered which key was which and I think I did a really good job making sure everyone had what they needed.

I was nervous. I didn't feel very good today so I was particularly nervous about that but it ended up being okay.

Some of the problem was that I had some very very strange and intense dreams last night. One of them was about my dad building secret rooms off of our house that had an entire different people group living in them. It was like a shopping mall and also like a dollhouse and it was very bizarre. And I had another dream where nosferrato owned a strip club. I am absolutely taking a shot in the dark and how to spell that word.

So I woke up not feeling incredible. And I knew that we had to leave the house by like 9:30 so I slept until 9:00 but I could have slept longer. I was just tired and uncomfortable.

But we had to get Sweetp to the vet and I knew that that was important so I got myself up and I got dressed. I really wanted to wash my hair but I would wait till tonight. It was a gray and cool day outside. And I was not prepared for that. It became fall all of a sudden and I love it but I did not plan my outfits accordingly. I will have to reassess tomorrow.

I didn't really want breakfast so I just ate the donut that we got yesterday. Which was fine. And sweetp came over to try to steal my milk and we used that opportunity to quickly get him into his carrier. That was the most successful time me and James have ever had getting him in there. Like James is usually pretty afraid of picking sweetie up in that situation but I was like no we got to move fast and we got him in there no problem. And while he cried a little bit he was a good boy. And he didn't cause too much trouble.

We drove to the animal hospital and I really like this one. It has this like very '70s vibe to it that I think is great and the vet is just so nice. Everyone there is so nice. When we got there we only had to wait for a few minutes and the waiting room at first there was two kittens and then there was a very sweet little dog. They were like a English bulldog quirky mix of some kind I think? But they were very sweet. And then a puppy who was a golden retriever who was only 9 weeks old came in and they made bestfriends and it was very cute.

I always love going into the vet because they always tell me how handsome and smart and kind and beautiful and large sweetp is. And it's true. He's a big boy. 16 and a half pounds. And he did a really good job getting his temperature taken even though he hates it and he let them weigh him and it just went really well.

When the vet came in he is the biggest personality and always has so much to tell us and he wanted to know all about where we work and all that kind of stuff and so when he found out we work in a history museum he wanted to tell us all this history about his family and the connections he has to some of the things in the museum specifically his father and grandfather owned a paint factory and they were friends with Dr bunting who invented noxzema. And he had all these great stories and it was awesome. And then I told him that I am pregnant and so he was like let's test sweet pea for a toxoplasmosis and it was going to be expensive but we have cat insurance so we're hoping that we can get some reimbursement for that. And sweet pea got his rabies vaccine and a new little tag that is red which I really appreciated. And they gave us a bunch of information and stuff to read. And he even gave us an $80 flea treatment for free. So kind. I love coming there. He also gave us a handmade cat toy from one of his texts that's made of a golf tee that looks like a little dragonfly. I haven't seen if sweet pea likes it yet but I hope that he does.

They would take sweet pea out of the room to do his shots and take his blood. But they said he looks great and that made me feel really good. And then we packed them up and we paid and headed out.

I was really not feeling good at this time though. I held it together to talk to the vet but I was really like I just need to be horizontal. I had 3 hours until I had to be at the museum and so we went right home and I changed into a sweatshirt and I laid down and it was very good.

I sort of took a half an hour nap and it helped but I would have appreciated more sleep. But because I didn't have time to wash my hair before the museum I wanted to at least round brush it so it looked nice and I got dressed and I actually wore the corset I got at the Renaissance Faire over this dress and I think it looked great and it was very very comfortable. This dress is very cute but the shoulders fall down constantly so having the straps from the corset vest made me very happy.

James had gone to their parents house while I was resting to help take out the air conditioning units and they were back by the time I woke up. They gave me a big hug and we went downstairs and I got myself together. And then I left.

I still didn't feel amazing but my plan was to go to McDonald's and get french fries and a soda because for some reason that fixes me every time. A combination of the caffeine and the salt. And so I went and I got that from McDonald's and I was a little annoyed because it was $4 for a large fry. But I ended up talking to Alexis when I got to the museum and she told me that if you order it in the app it's a $1.50 so now I have the McDonald's app even though I taken that off my phone years ago. But if it's going to save me money I'm going to do it.

So I ate my fries and had my soda and enjoyed sitting in the car watching a video. But eventually I was like oh I should go in the museum now. But I don't have any keys and no one was at the desk and I rang the doorbell twice and no one let me in. I told Merrill and she wasn't working today so then I called Jesse and he told me that Donnell the new maintenance/facilities a director would come and let me in and he did and I was only slightly frustrated that I was sitting out in a drizzly rain.

I felt a lot better though and I was just ready to do my thing. And I think I did a great job. Jesse came down to give me the keys and give me some overview for the evening. Corporate event outside. Atlantic was the caterer. He gave me the times and then I was basically in charge. We ran around a few times together just so that I could have any last minute questions or concerns answered but I felt pretty good. He gave me an alarm code for the building and then he went to his office to work for a few hours.

The museum isn't open on Mondays so It was pretty quiet in there. I would post up at the front desk and wait to see the caters or anybody else. And when they start coming I introduced myself and maybe try had names and they are very confident so I was not worried about them. But I was worried about the rain. It was kind of drizzling and a little windy and I was like I can put the sides down and so I had Phil show me how to use the drill attachment so it would be faster. And I'm really glad I did that because about an hour and a half after I asked if they wanted it and they told me no they were like actually can you please put the sides down it's so windy. And so I would do that. I did twerk my wrist a little bit because the drill was very powerful. But it made it a lot more comfortable for them and it would only get worse so I'm glad that I did it when I did.

I mostly had a chill night. I would knit and hang out the desk and watch a video and chat with Mo the security guard. And nobody was in the museum so I didn't really have to deal with that. I would periodically go outside but then the rain really picked up as the party got started and it was just windy and blustery and bad. I felt really bad that they couldn't hang out inside but they didn't rent the museum. They would use our bathrooms so we had stanchions set up for that but there was not a lot I could do. So I just tried to be a smiling face and I think the people who came enjoyed their food and had the best time they could despite the weather.

It was a crab feast so there wasn't a ton for me to eat but I did get sides again. And I really like the corn on the cob the other day so I got that again and I made a little sandwich with a hot dog bun and had watermelon. And I brought that inside and was soaking wet from walking across the parking lot on the rain so I dried off and I wore James's work fleece that they leave on their chair. But I would warm up and it would be a really nice night. Just a little boring for me but I'd rather that on my first night alone then too exciting.

Because it was so blustery and cold outside the party wrapped up an hour early and so the caters pulled everything together and I started turning off lights and get everything ready to go. And we were out of there by 9:00. I was really proud of us.

Mo kept giggling at me for being so efficient as he kept saying. Getting things locked and lights turned off. But I was ready to go home. And I just pulled up at our home. James made me lasagna and I'm going to wash my hair and I'm really just excited to get some rest.

I took the day off tomorrow. I hope to work on my teddy bear hospital patient and catch up on my temperature blanket. And I really just hope it's a good day.

I hope you all sleep well. Take care of yourself. Goodnight!!

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thegeniusofplaytimeco · 4 days ago

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Chapter 12: Olivia

Summary:

So it has begun: The outsmarting of you against the experiments chasing your past. First through the Main Entrance, with the goal of reaching the Make A Friend Room, through various puzzles and the permanent rumbling of the Smilling Critters it still seems to be quite easy. But then another person appears, who becomes even more important than you ever expected.

Notes:

Here I am again! A week on a school trip (which was quite ok) and a new chapter! Actually I wanted to bring a double update, but I didn't make it. I now have to concentrate on school/work as I have received more job offers and have to look at them. (In case anyone is interested: IT specialist) But I don't want to talk so much, have fun reading! 5.7 K Words (once again a longer chapter)

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"Erm G-Guys do you see that...Thing in Front of us?"

If you weren't so lost in thought, you would be looking down at Kickin right now. You can already imagine his trembling and raspy voice. His yellow feathers are probably glowing in the dark areas of the Poppy Playtime factory. However, you are still in the main lobby, with the various exit doors to the different areas.

Well, there was an arm in the Make-A-Friend hallway. You're all standing at the beginning of the hallway, even if the critters occasionally look back, at the big hole some idiot made in the metal cover. Two things are pretty much clear: Huggy Wuggy's arm is hanging out of a door up ahead and you're not alone, some other human is here too.

The mood becomes more tense with every step, your backpack makes a jolting noise after every step and the GrabPack feels heavier and heavier. Your view of the hallway, the yellow, blue and red spotted patterns on the floor and the whole toy factory look give you a sick feeling in your stomach. It was like the calm before the storm, and you're approaching a Big Fucking Problem.

"I'm scared"

"Me too"

"Bobby give me your hand"

"Take mine too, DogDay!"

Pathetic.

Her behavior is like that of a small child, your mind tells you. It was clear to you that Huggy wouldn't try anything yet, not just because you already know him by heart from all the experiments, but because it would be stupid.

Attacking now would be pointless, there are nine of us, we could just spread out. He would have to lure us all into a trap and finish us off in one fell swoop.

Even if it's a gesture of coldness from you to the critters that you're running so far ahead, it's actually quite the opposite for them. For safety's sake, if Huggy were to attack, he'd get you first and kill you... Just as you deserve.

Now you were there, to the left and right of you the brick-like colorful door frame and directly in front of you the arm of Huggy Wuggy. You have a few meters distance, for safety, and now the situation will be decided. You take a loud step forward, the weight goes through the joints of your foot and makes you stand higher than before.

The arm on the door retracts immediately with a grinding sound.

"Holy shit!"

"Kickin!"

"What?!"

"Now calm down everyone, we just need to -

You block out their voices. You immediately take the next step forward and stare at the black door. It was open a small slit on the left, where you let your eyes drag for a second and then reassess the situation. The "Staff Only" slid to the right of the door and "Caution" is a sign, from here on only people who know their way around.

But you weren't just someone who knew your way around. You were 'he', the one who created the experiments, wrote the psychological reports and knew his way around like nobody else on the planet. From now on there was a game of cat and mouse between you and the experiments, every step, every thought was a path to the Dark Wing.

"Stay close to me, understand ?" It was a rhetorical question that was basically useless because the Smilling Critters do what you say anyway. It would have saved you almost 1.3 seconds, which would have shortened your expedition , but it doesn't matter.

A quick glance to the left and you can already see the first problem: they are all far too scared.

DogDay, who does his best to look confident as the leader, does a damn bad job. Both ears bent, one already in front of his eyes, as if he had scolded a dog. Posture hunched, limbs all contracted from trembling and a chest that rises and falls every second.

CatNap and Bobby, who each have one of His paws in theirs, not a bit better. Both bent over, standing behind DogDay and shaking far too much. CatNap's tail curled around his waist and the other arm resting on his left shoulder. In contrast to her usual energetic nature, Bobby is completely prostrate. One hand on DogDay and the other biting her fingernails, but trying to hide it, pathetically.

Bubba, Crafty and Picky looked relatively normal. Apart from the clear fear, the sweat on their foreheads and the slightly conspicuous behavior at least. That's exactly how you found them at home in the living room in the evening when they were telling each other scary stories. Bubba's trunk slightly curled, Pinky's curly tail straight as an antenna and Crafty's hooves both on Bubba's shoulders as if he could protect them.

Kickin and Hoppy, oh god where to start. Usually always the ADHD kids of the group, and look now, both quiet and intimidated just because of Huggy's arm. Compared to the others, Kickin is the one who trembles the most. He usually acts like this, but now, with his beak so far down and his glassy eyes, he scratches his feathers wildly as if he has fleas.

But Hoppy is different. No trembling, no glassy eyes, no rise on her chest due to breathing, just a look at the target. She looked ready to kill, with a fire in her eyes and a determination that far surpassed that of any experiment before. The upturned rabbit ears, the grade stance, Her Determination was Dark.

Before, they were all so adventurously happy, and now look at them.

They are still children.

You scoff, your mind is just against you sometimes. Or was it an Act of Change?

We have to move on.

And so you walk on, leaving behind your thoughts, which somehow worked against your cold and rational logic, and concentrate on what is really important. You were here for a reason, even if it was a little different for both parties.

It is not the job of the executioner to question the King.

Unbidden, your own voice echoed in the caverns of your mind. Same cadence, same neutral tone: even now, you could easily tell what you're thinking. It was the same as always, An instruction that you can logically justify and comment on even in ten years. Just like all your thoughts: orderly, rational and perfect.

Focus.

You exhale softly, a refreshing feeling when you are so close to falling into the depressive and dead thoughts of one's self. The dark corridor feels familiar in a way, your work always started like this, a dark corridor and the empty feeling in your stomach.

It is only a brief moment, through the dark corridor. On the ceiling hangs a sticker of Huggy, with a construction worker's hat and a hammer in his cell phone. Occasionally pipes hiss on the sides, startling some of the Smilling Critters. You place your hand, which unbeknownst to you was damn cold, on the equally tempered metal door and enter the Warehouse.

In front of you are all kinds of boxes and crates, most of them bright yellow or blue. Above them, a staircase leading to the right warehouse. There are toy parts strewn about, with blood near almost all of them. And then there was a television, on a cabinet with a tape player underneath.

That's where you walk to first, with quiet steps that reflect the incomprehensible silence that reigns everywhere. Behind you, the somewhat louder footsteps of the critters, characterized by fear and nervousness. Tap-tap-tap, in time, which means that they all run together in two rows.

But the tape was not by the TV, which could mean several things:

The person who is here with us has destroyed or hidden the tape. Or the person is stupid, didn't find it or didn't look for it at all. Or did they work here before and know what's on the tapes? Or was it a coincidence, the person wanted to get through here quickly to look for something? What would they be looking for? People, an object?

If the person had worked here, what exactly are they looking for? The missing persons? A family member who was thrown into an experiment? Or did the person not work here and receive a message during this riot?

Not even a second passed, your flow of thoughts spread further and further, eliminating other possibilities and probabilities. It was a process, a selection that spread rationality and cold thinking further and further.

Is there perhaps a last message on the tape? Someone trying to tell us, as a group, something? Something like a last attempt to leave their mark on the world, Just not to...

You look at the floor, the toys that were there, with all the blood.

End like that.

"Is so cold..." You turn to the back, it was Picky. Standing in the dark corner with the others, in a circle through which you could barely make out who was standing where, thanks to the light. You recognize her simply by her voice, the dainty tone with a little serenity, despite the cold and the fear.

"Do you y-you have a blanket in your backpack?"

A blanket will make them run slower, which will cost us time that we don't have anyway.

"We're moving on." That's all you say, in your stoic voice and a look that neither shows any emotion nor is directed at the critters. You keep walking, slowly climbing the metal stairs and paying attention to your surroundings. The black metal stairs, the yellow guide marks on the stairs and the next room, which is already lit up in red.

You are greeted, or rather you are greeted, by a Huggy Wuggy poster. He strikes a comical pose with an outstretched arm pointing to a speech bubble with the content "Huggy says: Remember to take Breaks".

One look to the left and you'll see two things: Firstly, the Smilling Critters are there now. They're in two groups of four, but they've come up the stairs and aren't wasting any more time. Secondly, this now appears to be something of a puzzle. Four power sources with different colors, which are apparently supposed to be found in the right warehouse below, and then inserted into the control panel in front of you. There's already one next to your left foot, a blue one, which goes into the second slot of the panel.

You slowly lift it off the floor, clamp it onto the panel and look around. Directly in front of you, a red hand being held by a sort of machinery, in the air and far above the next aisle. Below you a conveyor belt, multiple boxes lying around the room alongside multiple racks of shelves. Your eyes scan the rest of the room, including the toy parts strewn on the floor, with blood near almost all of them.

But then you notice something, the large metal door at the end of the conveyor belt, labeled "Danger", had been broken. Like the metal hood in the main entrance where Huggy was standing, there is a hole in it that a person could fit through.

The person who is also here has taken the same route, but without fixing the power he or she is at most in the Make-A-Friend room.

As you continue to look around, you get ready, because in a few minutes you will meet a person who is staying with you down here in this hell. It's a strange feeling, unsure but at the same time unconcerned, depending on the situation you would either have to accept the person or, if in doubt, prevent them from moving any further through the factory.

Your eyes glide along the protective grating, there is a hole in it, apparently also cut by the person, to get down. You stand at the edge, enjoying yourself for a second.

"uhh...What are you doi-

You pay no attention to Kickin's voice, you didn't care about it any more than anything else in the world. You let yourself fall, but not straight down, but limply, like a candlelit dive in a swimming pool. Before that, you had already seen the box underneath you, with a date on it that was four months ago, so you knew that this box was still full and would support your fall completely.

You land with a gasp from the critters, who are now standing a few meters above you. You immediately start walking, onto the conveyor belt and along the room. Your rucksack shakes with every step, as does the GrabPack on your shoulders, reminding you again and again what you haven't actually forgotten, how many puzzles are still to come.

Right next to the metal door, which is protected by the two scanners with the blue and red hand, is the next power source. With a shot from the GrabPack, take it and shove it into the large pockets of your coat.

"S-Should we come down?" The question comes from above, and by the shaky tone of the voice you recognize it immediately, Kickin. You don't look up, one hand still on the Power Source and the other on the GrabPack to shoot.

He talks too much, if he wasn't so scared and it was his right intention to come down, he would have done so already.

With that, you continue on for the time being, without answering and with a plan in mind, which is followed. Light, barely audible footsteps through the room and you find the missing two power sources, the green and the yellow. But on one of the slightly outer shelves, you find something that easily piques your interest.

A tape, yellow and dirty at the edges, as if someone from production had touched it. You take it in your hand, the rough plastic feels strange after you touched the smooth metal of the power sources earlier and put it in your coat.

Security Camera: Rich + Avery

Rich and Avery are both names of employees, certainly those who worked down here in the warehouse. But from the Security Camera? Did they perhaps steal goods? Or had a conversation that could have consequences?

You make a "tsk", something you didn't actually want to do. It was unnecessary, costs energy and makes a noise that someone might hear. Normally you don't do this, before you even open your mouth you think for minutes about what exactly you're going to say and what consequences it will have for the conversation.

You're wasting time.

With this thought, and a clear head as always, you quickly look around again. The huge metal door with the colored handprints has of course not escaped your notice. You quickly run to it, and with a little strength in your arm you push the door open. Skeptical and nervous, critters run down the stairs, you don't like the different colors of the fur and the loud footsteps.

"Thank you." That's the last thing you hear from one of them before you move on. Straight up the stairs, insert all power sources and wait a moment. You don't put the tape in the tape player downstairs, you can already imagine what it's about. A few years ago, you had a short conversation with the head of the HR department about the behavior of an employee.

It was about a "Rich" who seemed to attract a lot of attention because of his slightly irritable behavior. The HR manager asked you what he should do about it, as he only receives complaints when he assigns someone with Rich. He didn't know what to do, the employees were complaining and his reputation was getting worse because he couldn't seem to deal with one of thousands of employees.

For you the solution was obvious, if everyone got along with each other except Rich, you should just fire Rich.

But that's where you tricked the personnel manager. It was clear that this Rich was important, normally you would be thrown out immediately for such behavior, but he was not. So the manager told you that Rich had once seen one of the experiments and apparently couldn't just be dismissed.

But you were cold and acted with logic, as always. You sent an order to the head of the camp you were assigned to and had him transferred. Not to another camp, of course, but to a camp that was close to the Dark Wing and contained experiments that had been starving for a long time.

No, cold-hearted isn't right, you were brutal. For not reporting that one of the low-level employees had seen an experiment, you were the one who put him there. For hours you heard the screams of the two of them, limbs slowly and painfully severed by blunt teeth and chewed hungrily. Bones that were basically too hard to eat were no problem for the experiments, they bit them and pulled them along the intestines.

With sight, as always, it was an image sent to your brain by electrical signals. Why feel something if it was only simulated anyway and the person had earned it according to the rules?

You've never felt anything.

You are torn from your thoughts by a bang, a grabbing machine swings slowly along the ceiling through the room and has broken the glass part in which the red hand for the GrabPack was. You jump back down onto the box and immediately run to it. It was quicker than going down the stairs and you didn't have to see the Smilling Critter.

Take out the red hand, feel the smooth plastic on your hand and place it on the red plug of your GrabPack. Now, with the new view of the two hands, the rucksack on your back and the critters behind you, you can continue.

"I'm hungry"

"I'm cold"

"Guys, we can definitely take a break in a minute"

"Do you still have bread rolls in your rucksacks?"

"I'm tired"

Their chatter is getting on your nerves, although they are no longer children, they behave exactly like children. Permanent mood swings, although they were all shaking and scared minutes ago, they now want to take a break and rest.

You step out, onto the conveyor belt, and with a shot from both shoulders the different colored hands land on the scanners. The beam slowly fills, the air around you gets colder and your eyes keep landing on the hole in the metal door.

The person won't make it any further than the Make-A-Friend room, where the power is needed to progress. But if she meets Huggy before that, I hope her corpse doesn't lie in our path and scare the critters, that would cost time.

Unfeeling, completely cold-hearted and yet logical, you carry on. You don't even think about the trauma the critters might suffer from seeing you, why should you? For the plan, the order, it didn't matter at all.

"It goes on...stay close together." You already know what's coming next, a puzzle, as the other employees used to say. You just have to connect two lines with the GrabPack's hands and voila, done.

The door is open and you walk on. Darkness, a conveyor belt with red edges and a corridor downwards is all you see. With a sure kick, you slide down the rollers and land on the conveyor belt, but in front of a locked door, which also has a hole.

Damn idiot, you won't get any further than the Make-A-Friend room anyway.

"Yippie!"

If you really wanted to, you'd be sighing right now. Kickin's loud voice roars through the huge ventilation shaft and wakes up everything within 30 meters. But it wasn't just a waste of time, it was a waste of energy to react to him, as well as the rest of the critters.

To your left is a line with "HIGH VOLTAGE" written on it like all the others. Without wasting any time, you shoot it with your blue hand, turn and run into the only path that remains open to you all. You tell the others that they're not in the way, or that their whispers are annoying you, you just walk past them and watch your hand.

Left-right and then up, according to the construction plan this should restore the current voltage.

You connect the voltage using one of the lanterns that regulate the current, walk on and find yourself in front of the second button. You immediately stand up straight, give the critters a look and they know what to do. They stand at the locked door, albeit not quickly, and watch you.

One shot, the door opens and the mechanical shaking takes you further. The conveyor belt moves and carries you onwards. You let go of the GrabPack, breathe once through your nose and feel the air temperature change slightly and a strange smell is present.

Is that perfume? Deodorant or shampoo?

The smell itself wasn't what you were thinking about, rather why there was perfume here. After all, it clarified your theory that the person was only a few minutes ahead of you and was definitely right in front of you.

Suddenly an alarm lights up above you, red with a loud 'beep' sound. A couple of the critters are startled, but Bubba had apparently already seen the siren and prepared for it to ring. Garbage and toy parts are smuggled in from the left and right.

But then you're finally there: the Make-A-Friend Room. You emerge from an airlock with broken glass. You stand in the middle, while some of the critters pull themselves out of the airlock together, analyzing the area. In front of you, the giant red machine, without power or life. Above it, the huge lettering "MAKE - A - FRIEND".

But if you look up, to the series of catwalks, you immediately notice something.

There is a person above you, you can see the silhouette as it moves.

So there the person is, at the Big Power Source that connects the Area's Power to turn on the Machine. However, it is only possible now, as we activated the huge power system in the Main Entrance almost 20 minutes ago.

You intend to address them directly, so you turn to the critters, who have now arrived in the middle of the room and have not yet made any noise. You raise your index finger, hold it gently in front of your lips and show them that they must be "Quiet".

You walk slowly into the corner of the room, each step heavier than the last. Now in the corner, you slowly climb the security stairs, glancing up at the Great Power Source, unsure if the person has noticed you all yet.

Once you reach the top, you come across a TV with a tape player on a small shelf, just like before. The tape player even glows pink, apparently the tape of the same color has already been inserted. You move on, the confrontation was unavoidable and your fingers are already tingling.

Over thin metal plates and there was...Her?

A woman. Blonde hair that goes down her back and shines under the light. A white T-shirt underneath, barely visible, but it's there. And then a pair of black jeans with black stains, probably from the dirt.

Next to her is a coffee mug and a damn pink rucksack that somehow doesn't match the tense situation.

I have to be careful what I say, if she had heard me before she would already be looking. If I make a noise, I risk more than usual, if she is jumpy, she could pull out a weapon and attack me immediately.

You can't explain exactly what it's doing there, except to call it idiotic. She is somehow trying to forward one of the button conductors on the Big Power Source, without a GrabPack. She doesn't turn around, even though you've already made a slight noise with your shoe twice.

All right, then I'll throw her off her game and make an introduction.

"Ever heard of alternating curre-

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

You can't even finish talking, she immediately screams and jumps up like a scared little cat, while you are standing at least five meters away from her.

Now you see her in her entirety: brown eyes, narrow mouth, small nose and a suspicious pose. She raises her right arm, points at you and opens her mouth as if she's just seen an accident.

"WHY WOULD YOU SCARE ANOTHER PERSON LIKE THAT DUDE?!"

Her voice is petite, slightly confused but also has a certain tone of sarcasm and humor. She doesn't look as scared as you thought she would. She puts her hands on her hips and stares at you, from bottom to top, seemingly forgetting how scared she just got.

"Damn...I think I pissed myself..." The last part comes out in a whisper, head bowed, mouth now molded into a circle like Pure Frustration.

Did I just hear that right?

"I-

"Who are you anyway, Dude! You just talk to me while I'm..." She turns back around, letting her blonde hair swish through the air and quickly grabs her coffee from the floor. With that, she pauses for a moment, leans her mouth against the opening and continues speaking. "Well, busy Dude!"

Fucking idiot, you don't even have a GrabPack. Did you want to touch the live wires with your hands or what? If I wasn't here, you'd probably be dead by now, stupid.

"You don't even have a GrabPack-

"SO WHAT?!" You're interrupted again, her loud voice echoing through the huge room, and you wonder if all the Smilling Critters are already looking up at you. "I don't need your weird bum equipment to get anywhere."

You could swear you heard a small, dainty "Or did you?" at the end of her sentence.

"Then explain to me..." You take a step forward, still between a good distance, but the position counted. You, with the GrabPack on your back, she in front with the coffee and an idiotic look on her face. "How you want to touch 800 volts of pure voltage, almost 3.48 as much as from a normal socket, with your pure hands?"

A strange expression spread across her face. Slightly closed eyes, raised eyebrows and a look at the ceiling, as if she were calculating whether your statement was correct.

Then she puts one finger under her chin, draws a pair of numbers in the air and raises her other hand to count off the number 6. It takes her about 13 seconds, 13 seconds of pure staring from you, wondering what she's doing the math on, or if she's just completely retarded.

"Ughhhhh...Sorry...I Guess..." That's all she says, a nervous, or just silly, smile at you and two thumbs up as if she's applauding you.

Sorry? A few minutes later and you'd be dead. Is she completely crazy or just stupid?

That's all she says, a blank look that hides nothing at all, as you would expect. She takes a step forward, stares you in the face and keeps talking.

"I have a feeling I've seen you before...do you play in a band or something?"

Shes Got to be Fucking kidding me. You can't be that stupid, why do I have to meet such a fucking idiot? Couldn't it have been some scientist?

You say nothing, walk past it and connect the wires that conduct the electricity for the giant machine.

"Soooooo we're like a team now? You know, good cop, bad cop?" You hear her voice behind your back, she's still distant from you, but she speaks with composure, as if she knows you couldn't hurt her if you had to.

I can't get rid of her, especially when she sees the Smilling Critters. She fits in with them, brainless and a sense of humor that only damn kids understand.

You have connected the cables and run back to the stairs. However, you are followed by loud footsteps and the jolting of a bag.

"I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before!" You turn slightly, staring at her with an annoyed expression that doesn't seem to bother her. She's too close, you can smell her breath, which smells like coffee. "Are you suuuuuure you're not a musician? Or maybe an actor?! Or maybe you're embarrassed!"

You're already descending the stairs while she stands at your side, keeping up with your pace and bombarding you with questions and theories. A quick turn and you see the cat-like grin with an assumption that is certainly not PG.

"I think I've got it! You're a porn star! I knew it!" This is followed by a laugh that sounds more like that of a small child. No kidding, it sounds like she can't breathe and is desperately trying to prevent a seizure.

Is she even too stupid to breathe?

You notice several things about her at the same time as you briefly turn your head towards her:

In the short time you had the lines connected, she managed to spill coffee on her T-shirt twice.

You are about the same height. You may be a few centimetres taller, but you are roughly the same height.

She has this stupid grin on her face the whole time. Like she doesn't even know how fucking stupid she actually is.

You better focus on the here and now, she'll hit the critters in about 7 seconds, and then everything will probably be bombed full of questions.

"Well, because we're a team now, you know, you and me!" She giggles between them, and you wish inside that the stairs were already over and you could just leave. "I'm Oliva, nice to meet you Mr. Edgy!"

Mr. Edgy?

Olivia, so that was her name. The complete opposite of you; A permanent grin present on her face, not taking anything seriously and throwing stupid jokes around. With someone like her, everything just gets more complicated, she has a slow reaction time, is damn stupid and doesn't seem to be able to be more childish.

"Wait, do you see that up ahead?" She gasps, confusion and disbelief taking over her tone and she points her finger towards the center of the Great Room. As you continue walking, she stops at the top of the stairs and stares at you with her mouth open.

You don't answer her nor the Smilling Critters who are bombarding you with questions about "who that woman is" right now. It was unnecessary anyway, they would address each other in a few seconds and then it's just a matter of how long they need for introduction.

You stand at the Make a Friend panel, on which the words "Power on" now appear, and press the red button. Steam immediately comes out of the middle, red machine and the lights on all of them go on.

"Ohhhhh! How cute you are!" You turn around and get a view that will probably remain etched in your mind for a while. This woman, Olivia, pets each of the Smilling Critters and introduces herself as she hugs them. Some she hugs longer, squeezes them tighter and whispers something in their ear that you found funny, but what wasn't funny about her.

But after a few seconds, curiosity appears on her face and you can hear her loud voice asking the critters "What exactly they're doing here?" all the way to the back.

"Wait a minute... So you're Y/N?" The answer took a few seconds, but at some point it was clear that it was coming. You turn away from the machine, stare at it and remain completely stoic. You don't know exactly what her reaction will be, after all, she probably worked here, maybe she knows what you did.

"The Y/N? The genius?" There it was, the impressed expression that also contained a little, tiny bit of pity. "Wow... Then we have a real expert on board."

The sarcasm in her voice is hard to miss, but at the same time it makes no sense because you're an expert here.

Beep

"What the?!"

The toy was ready, fully assembled on the small conveyor belt that connects all the machines. You take it immediately.

"Is that a Cat-Bee toy?" Comes from behind you, far behind your back, from Olivia.

"It's our key to getting ahead." Once again, you don't say anything else, move quickly through the room with the small toy in your hands and place it on the scanner. After a few seconds, the text "Toy Accepted" appears and the metal door is pushed up.

But something is wrong.

That smell...

"Prepare to run." You say, as seriously as ever, but this time as a kind of instruction, as you always said to your subordinates.

"Why?! You just said this is our key..." Olivia stands next to you, literally shouts into the doorway and points towards the darkness behind the hallway. "So we have to go that way now, don't we?"

"Can't you smell it?" You ask her, unbothered by her attempts to justify her weird and stupid behavior. "That sour smell in the air..."

"Did ya' fart or what?"

"Be serious now or we'll all die." After the word 'die', everyone seemed to be aware of the seriousness of the situation, even if it took longer for some than for others.

"This sour smell is a toxic enzyme."

It takes a few seconds, but you will receive an answer.

"Now again in English, please, Professor"

"Tsk...Huggy Wuggy has such a system to break down his prey, i.e. meat, more easily before he digests it. Meat means especially human meat, which is his favorite food."

"Wait...Is hat Supposed to mean, that Huggy is right there?"

"Exactly, if we had just walked into the darkness, it would be bad for us now."

"Bad in the sense of...dead?"

"Never mind, the important thing is...

If we just walk into the darkness now, we will all die.

Notes:

Jay! It's really starting now! A new person in the team: Olivia! The complete opposite of you, always in a good mood and humorous, whether it's good in this situation is of course another question. Well, that's it again with the chapter. The next update will be the Arcane Story again (next month the next season is already coming and I'm way too slow) and then the Rat Story (I'm totally looking forward to that too!) Big Thanks to Everyone Reading my Storys, and leave Fire and a Comment!

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ticklepinions · 2 years ago

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Hi! Hope you're doing well. I just came for advice ig? I saw another blog I follow get a really disturbing ask and it made me really uncomfortable. Long story short it was about the ler being very controlling and domineering. To the point where the "Lee" was getting their boundaries crossed. Idk what my question is exactly just curious on your thoughts?

Heyo. Very long winded answer under the cut. I encourage everyone to read though.

Warning: consent being ignored. Mentions of kink terminology

TL;DR Remember people are human. They aren't just what they can do for you. Their wants and desires are just as important as your own. Communication is key as usual. Be upfront with what you want and expect in the relationship (platonic or romantic). Being ticklish doesn't mean you want to be tickled/teased. If people get angry at you for setting boundaries that is a big red flag, you deserve to have your consent respected.

I think I have a feeling about which ask it was. Yeah. It made me angry. I said it once and I'll say it again.

Being a lee does not mean you're inherently submissive and feminine.

Being a ler does not mean you're inherently dominant and masculine.

Can you be? Sure, but the roles don't need to be boiled down to those specific categories.

I've never actually had a "session" before and I'm sure they're other blogs who have great advice you can check out.

In my opinion, consent should never be crossed. The "Lee" has all the power over their own body. If they say do not tickle me there. Guess what? You're not tickling them there. If they are uncomfortable with restraints or tools, you guessed it, you aren't involving any of those elements.

And people like to, for lack of a better word, groom others into doing what they want to do. They pretend like they want to "help" you get over your fear but really they just have ulterior motives. Lees become nothing but a tool for the ler's pleasure and that is a big red flag.

Alternatively, Lees shouldn't be forcing lers to do things they're uncomfy with.

I get it. Setting boundaries is hard. Especially with people who may push back, sometimes unintentionally. I thought I was a pro at consent stuff but I found out I suck. And it's okay, I'm still learning. I'm a people pleaser so I have a tendency to ignore my own personal boundaries just to ensure the other person is happy. And I try to be mindful of when I get into those moods. Sometimes you really just have to remove yourself from the situation, take a step back and reassess.

As a switch, it is such a problem. I know I have multiple posts of how ticklish I am, but get this:

Being ticklish does not mean I want to be tickled/teased.

I don't like being tickled by people I don't know or can't trust with my body. I am ticklish yes, very much so, but it should be enjoyable for me as it is for you. I've had several encounters with people who just don't respect that. I try my best to communicate that while I may be ticklish, at the end of the day, I am most comfortable doing a majority of the tickling. But I understand. As a switch it's difficult. We all have different needs right? I've messed up before when it comes to trying to sway people into a Lee or Ler mood. It happens sometimes, it starts out as teasy and fun then you realize that you might be coaxing this person (in the wrong way) into a mood they weren't in and didn't want to be in.

Communication is so incredibly important but extremely difficult at times. I find it harder to set boundaries with people I like because I want to keep them so to speak. But guess what!? I (and YOU) deserve relationships (p or r) that revolve around respecting each other's boundaries!

If someone EVER gets angry at you for having a boundary, RUN. That is some major toxic stuff right there. Like ofc, communicate that it's making you uncomfy because a lot of people just don't understand consent (it's actually pretty scary).

And the fact that being a Lee has somehow automatically translated to being submissive has really hurt this community imo. And what does society believe is the epitome of submissiveness? Femininity. Before joining the community I've been a lurker and the shit I have seen yo. Women both trans and cis have been preyed upon by, usually, cis men. People receiving unwanted teasy asks or sliding in their DMs etc. I remember seeing this one butthurt person being like "well she posted a tummy pic she basically asked for it". Like... People really think that. I don't want to open that can of worms but- damn bro.

But anyways back to communication. If you interact with a switch, and you are one yourself, be up front with what you want. An example would be a Ler-leaning switch and a lee-leaning. The ler/lean will have greater wants to do the tickling and the lee/lean will have greater wants to be tickled. If they both agree that they are okay with that relationship, great! However, if the ler/lean suggests they be the one being tickled that's a topic of discussion. Both parties should and must be willing. If the Lee/lean says they don't want to, then they don't want to. It's just important to establish that so people know what to expect ya know? Because one person won't be able to fulfill all your wants.

An example: You'll make friends who like the rougher side of tickles but they can't provide you the gentle tickles that you may crave. So you happen to make friends who are great at gentle tickles. One weekend you make feel like rough tickles the other gentle tickles, and you bounce back with the people who mutually agree with what you want at the time.

Same concept can apply to switches. There are gonna be people where you will win the tickle fights and like that dynamic. There are others where you will lose tickle fights and enjoy that dynamic. Lastly there are people where you will have a stalemate and find joy in that dynamic.

Example Convo between Switches

"So I know you're Ler-leaning, and you know I am lee-leaning"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay with being tickled by me? There are times where I really want to tickle someone and I think you'd be fun to tickle."

"Hmm well I'm not sure, I think I prefer just being the tickler. I really appreciate you asking though!"

"Understandable! No problem at all"

Scenario 2

"*insert teasy words here*"

"Actually I'm not really feeling like a ler today. But I wouldn't mind if you tickled me if you're up for it"

"Oh sure no problem! Same safeword as last time?"

"Yes! Thanks friend"

#long post #important #tword community #twordpinion #tword

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sinigangsta-ao3 · 2 years ago

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Thursday Thoughts: On controlling what I can, a.k.a. where you can find my fics

Quick bonus Thursday Thoughts this week!

I don’t know who follows me that observed or was privy to the plagiarism concerns that affected some EM authors on Twitter, AO3, and Wattpad.

I’m not 100% sure if any of my fics were affected, but I did receive an apology comment from the “plagiarist” on one of my fics — an experience that, admittedly, did not make me feel comfortable.

I didn’t take the plagiarist’s apology as confirmation that my fics were plagiarized (at this point, there’s no way for me to confirm). Nor do I have an immediate fear of my work being stolen or shared without my consent or anything (which, for the record, I’m not okay with!!!). But this whole situation did get me thinking about what matters most to me when it comes to my works — as well as gave me an opportunity to, once again, reassess my boundaries and what I can control.

So I made the following changes to my AO3 and my fics (partially inspired by @onwriting-hrarby, whose expertise and experience are such trusted sources to me):

I’ve now made all my fics restricted to viewers with an AO3 account — and will only post for registered AO3 users moving forward. I’m sorry to those who follow my work and aren’t registered on the archive. I understand that this might be a barrier to read, and I acknowledge that inconvenience.

I’ve hidden my two eremika WIPs, “straight/edge” and “sins of our fathers.” I’m actively working on them, and reworking a bit of the plot. But I have honestly been considering hiding them for a bit, as having them out unfinished just feels like I’m giving myself undue pressure to finish the stories quickly. And these two stories mean too much to me to haphazardly put together the subsequent chapters. I’ll unhide them sometime in the future, whenever I’m ready to share them again.

On a semi-related note, I’m constantly reassessing how I use my other social accounts. I’m still active on Twitter, and I have this Tumblr and my Tellonym. Ultimately, I want to use my socials as a way to stay connected to people who follow my fics, who wanna talk to me about what I’m working on, and who just wanna talk about fun fandom-related things together. I want to make myself available to people who are interested in talking to me about my stories — because that really is important to me. I also want a space to share my observations and creative journey.

However, I am currently reconsidering how much I share about my WIPs. I’ll entertain questions about them, but I’m reconsidering whether or not I will share sneak previews of upcoming chapters and fics. I’m at a point where I need to refocus on the work for myself.

Apologies for being a bit rambling! I just wanted to make sure that, in the event that anyone was looking for my work, I could be transparent about where they are and how you can access them. I hope this helps. And I sincerely thank anyone and everyone who has expressed even the smallest inkling of interest in what I write and what I have written so far.

Much love,

Nina 💕

#self reflecting #about my fics #about my writing #thursday thoughts #nina-bean on ao3 #nina-bean writing

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boldlyanxious · 4 years ago

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None the Wiser 4

Masterlist

All fic masterlist

Prompts: habits and overprotection

Damian changed into his Robin gear and sought solace in the familiarity of the Gotham rooftops. It always helped him clear his head which was what he needed right now. His father and brothers were angry at him for how he had treated the bakers' daughter. Well, not Todd, he just laughed every time Damian walked into the room when the others got their tense looks. Even Alfred seemed disappointed with him, he didn't say it but Damian could feel the disapproval.

It would be his last night in Gotham for awhile so he took this habitual route, not to look for crime so much as to burn off his excess energy and frustration. He would be traveling to Paris under the guise of a Justice League mission to reassess the magical villain operating there. The Justice League International had previously stated that it would be best handled by the local heroes using the same magic but recent events had caused them to reassess.

But his father had been very clear. He intended to seek out his biological daughter once again and he expected Damian to make amends with his 'sister' so that she would be more willing to form a relationship with Bruce in the future. Alfred and his brothers were all on board and they couldn't figure out why Damian was being so difficult about it.

---

Marinette sighed in her room. Tikki flitted over to check on her. She was anxiously awaiting the results of her submission to the fashion competition. She had heard 5 others from the lycée had entered and 3 of them had heard back about their entry. It was a surprise to them that the fashion show was now part of the judging. Everyone would be presented and all would have an opportunity for their design to be seen on the runway and photographed. Two of the entries were labeled open runway and one of them had a later time and was labeled a level 2 entry.

Marinette was apprehensive waiting for her own response. She kept worrying that for some reason they would not have received her entry or that they would just tell her they didn't want to see any more from her. On top of that she had heard from Bruce again and he was returning to Paris and was hoping to see her. Her parents had suggested that if she continued seeing him when she could to appease him, he might feel less inclined to make any fuss legally.

She still hadn't told anyone but Luka about him. Marc had taken a picture of Marinette and Adrien sleeping and had shown it to her. She was fairly certain she had seen Nathaniel showing his phone to a blushing Adrien but she hadn't commented. She knew that if the picture got out his father might never let him hang out with them again. Alya had seen it too and took every opportunity to tease Marinette about it, and Adrien too, but it wasn't in front of others so it hadn't become public knowledge.

Marinette was less focused on being noticed by him because she was so worried about her entry to the competition and she was stressed anytime she thought of Bruce. She had caught her parents talking in hushed tones several times over the last few weeks. Part of her routine in the last few weeks was to race across the rooftops and sit at the Eiffel Tower not long after sunset. She didn't like to do it when there was still daylight because she worried that she would be seen or that her new habit would be noticed by those who would try to find out who she was.

This had her running into Chat Noir more frequently because he also used the rooftops as stress management. She didn't feel like she could give him details about her situation but she did mention that she was concerned about an important competition and uncertainty about a revelation involving her family. Chat Noir was always one to use his transformation as an escape. She knew his family expectations weighed on him and she really liked that they had this way to support each other especially now that she was the guardian. Sitting up on the Eiffel Tower felt like it opened up their headspace so their thinking would be more clear.

---

During school today Marinette had learned that all the other entrants for the competition had heard back about their entry. Lila took a moment between classes to taunt her suggesting that they didn't find anything in her entry worth mentioning. Usually she tried to ignore Lila but she happened to hit right on Marinette's biggest fear about it so she decided to go home for lunch for the peace and quiet and hopefully be able to find a letter in the mail today.

It would be just the soothing balm she needed that when she left the building for lunch she saw Damian standing out there. He saw her almost immediately and started walking towards her. Lila and Alya were there and asking questions about this boy they didn't recognize from the school walking up to Marinette. She waved off their questions and walked up to him rather than risk him saying things that would give away her secret before she was ready.

"What do you want?" Marinette asked him.

"I've been told you need an apology," he said.

"I'm listening," she replied.

"Listening for what?" he asked, confused.

"An apology." she said.

"That was the apology," he stated.

"Wow, that was exceptionally poor. So good to see you again."

"Well what do you want from me?"

She paused for a moment to assess him.

"Nothing," she said and then she walked away.

The mail had not arrived by the end of lunch so Marinette was still nervous about it when she returned. She should have considered more carefully who had seen her talking with Damian on her way or because apparently it had been a topic discussed by many while she was away. Alya told her that Lila was very worried about her and thought the boy was a criminal and was probably trying to drag Marinette into a life of crime.

"Marinette, he looked a lot like the boy you were trying to get away from a few weeks ago." Sabrina said.

That comment had people buzzing with renewed energy. They all wanted details about the incident from a few weeks ago and we're looking for any details they had missed when they watched Marinette talk with him outside. Sabrina was too close with Chloe to go out of her way to be concerned about Marinette.

"It's nothing," Marinette said. "I met him officially after that incident. Our parents know each other but we don't really get along."

Marinette walked away to head to class without any further comment. Alya caught up to her, clearly thinking she would get more details. She was telling Marinette all the things Lila thought she knew about him but Marinette didn't know enough about him to have a clear refutation.

"I really don't know him well, Alya. We met once. I know his name is Damian and he lives in America. I met his dad and brothers."

"He's pretty cute. You don't think there is some enemies-to-lovers energy there?" Alya waggled her eyebrows.

"No, definitely not."

Marinette was trying to keep her voice down because there was way too much interest in this from their classmates who were pulling out their books while clearly trying to hear the conversation. Adrien looked slightly concerned and Noah clearly wanted to say something. He hadn't directly talked to Marinette about his interest but he made a few comments to imply he would be interested. It was still pretty early in the first year of lycée so students from the different collèges hadn't fully gotten to know the other groups but Rochelle had made it clear to the other girls that Noah was off limits to them.

Small blessings of new teachers at lycée was that they were better at managing the group than Mlle Bustier. She was young and wanted to be friends with the students she had taught for her first 3 years as a teacher but the lycée teachers started class promptly and it saved Marinette from being the object of discussion. Of course they were still discussing genetics so Marinette's mind wandered to how her biology might have played a role in her characteristics. She had started avoiding answering any questions about her or her parents for fear that her parentage discrepancy would become obvious to others.

She looked around when she was leaving for the day to make sure Damian wasn't around. The last thing she needed was for him to appear and keep himself in the memory of her nosy classmates. Still she was surprised when Noah appeared in front of her. She made an awkward squeaking sound and then quickly covered her mouth. He smiled at her, not quite letting out a laugh.

"Can I walk to the bakery with you?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah. Did you need to get baked goods?"

"No. I live that way and I wanted to walk with you," he paused but continued when she didn't respond. "Rumor has it you entered the fashion competition."

"I did. I'm still waiting to hear back. I'm so nervous," she said.

"You shouldn't be. I think they are sending them out by level. The first people to get them back were labeled 'open' then came different levels."

She stared at him and then thought it through. He might be right. Based on the ones she had seen the first to hear back had earlier times and the other she knew had received it over the weekend. She hadn't seen it or heard any details of the latest 2 to hear back.

"Do you think?" she asked.

"I do. I bet yours will arrive soon and you will be in the highest group," he said confidently.

It was such a new experience having so many classmates that she didn't know well. It was a smaller group from collège when the schools combined and it had been 3 years ago. It was 2 schools together but for lycée they came from 6 schools several of which were larger than her old school. They felt like little ducklings leaving the safe nest into a huge pond.

When she opened the door she turned to wave Noah off but he was following her into the bakery. She felt a little weird about questioning a possible customer but also a little flustered because it felt like he was following her home. She was quickly distracted by her mother pausing helping her line of customers to lift an envelope where she could see it. She didn't realize that she had grabbed on to Noah's arm like she would one of her other friends but he didn't mind knowing how nervous she was. She pulled her hand back when she realized but asked if he wanted to stay with her while she opened it.

---

Bruce was frustrated by the Justice League meeting. It felt like it was mostly filler and introductions. He already knew everyone and he was distracted by his desire to see Marinette. He knew Damian had gone over that way while he was organizing it and he didn't say that it went well which meant it was probably a disaster. He just wanted to get the meeting over with so he could rush over to fix whatever Damian had done.

He connected with the Justice League International team because of their change in status with the shift in magic being used there. But mostly he needed a cover for continued visits without looking suspicious. Mostly they were activating younger members because of the suspected age of the magical heroes but they needed a few older members for coordinating missions and solving disputes. He wasn't sure he was the best for that particular part of the mission but since Damian, Jon, and Wally were involved he could at least be there to transport them.

He was headed towards the bakery but he saw her in the park near her house so he walked that way just in time to see her jump up and down and hug a boy her age. He walked up and waited to see if her giddiness would fade. He suspected that it would have stayed for quite awhile. She was reaching into her bag for her phone when she saw him looming nearby. She silenced herself immediately as she froze.

Noah looked up at the man watching. He thought Marinette must know him based on her reaction to his presence. If he hadn't just met her parents he would think that he would make the perfect overprotective father. Perhaps he was an uncle. He had a similar, solid build to Tom Dupain but none of his easy-going manner or corny jokes delivered with a smile.

"I thought you weren't meant to be around until later," Marinette said, addressing the man.

"I finished my meeting early so I went ahead and came by."

"I'll need to talk to my parents but I can meet you back out here in a few minutes," she said. She turned to Noah, " Thanks for being with me while I read that. Just don't tell anyone. Alya will kill me if she finds it you knew before her."

"I wouldn't dream of telling. I'll see you tomorrow," Noah replied. He waved and headed off towards his home.

**hoping to get the next couple prompts out very soon. I also posted a loosely connected part for the driving prompt not long ago.

Taglist

@theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf

#bio dad bruce #maribat #bio!dad bruce wayne month 2020 #boldlyanxious

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jaskiersvalley · 4 years ago

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Yeah, alright.

They met on a night out. Eskel had decided he needed to let loose for a bit, told Lambert he was heading out. It was the beauty of their relationship that Lambert just waved and grumbled about wanting a quiet night in so Eskel better not make too much noise when he got back. The following morning Eskel groaned and rolled over in bed, patting the place Lambert normally inhabited. It was empty and there was a chuckle from the doorway.

“Good night I take it?”

“The best.” Eskel sat up. “Met a guy. Fuck me Lamby, I think I’m in love.”

Snorting, Lambert sat on the edge of the bed and raised an eyebrow, demanding Eskel told him more.

“We didn’t even fuck. I offered him fisstech because I was already high as fuck. He said “yeah, alright” then we went to a park and talked about the representation of goats in mythology.”

Lambert laughed at that. It was oddly fitting that Eskel would find someone like that. Before he could say as much, Eskel continued, “He actually knew some really random shit. Said it was because he had the time and that he’d try anything once. Hence, you know, fisstech with a stranger. You should meet him. I think I have his number!”

After a few moments of scrambling for his phone, Eskel found the number saved under ‘No Strings Ever’ which, well, it suited him just fine really. He sent a message.

Want to meet again? I want to introduce you to Lambert.

The reply, predictably was short and to the point. Yeah, alright.

It was how Lamber met Cahir and finally understood what Eskel saw in him. There was a nonchalant easiness to him, when Lambert propositioned him for a threesome as a joke to try and ruffle a few feathers, he got a half shrug and a soft “Yeah, alright.”

The tumble in bed was mind blowing. Lambert stared at the ceiling, breathless and lips curled into an open grin. “I do hope this isn’t a one off,” he managed to get out and Eskel hummed in agreement.

“As long as there are no strings attached, I can agree to a repeat performance,” Cahir replied.

There was indeed a repeat of their bedroom acrobatics and not just once either. It was all well and good that they had said no strings but both Eskel and Lambert found themselves falling. Anything ludicrous that crossed their minds, Cahir would undoubtedly go “yeah, alright” to. Whether it was streaking naked across the neighbourhood at 3am or going on a picnic at the nearby lake. There seemed to be nothing Cahir wouldn’t agree to in his usual, placid and easy going way.

Five months passed. Strings were still forbidden but more often than not Cahir ended up at theirs for the evening or they went out together. Those were decidedly not dates, rather fun outings to try something new, even if it was just a new restaurant.

“Want to go horse riding?” Eskel suggested over a bowl of noodles.

“Yeah, alright.”

Lambert grinned. “Have we ever told you about Scorpion. He’s Eskel’s horse. Lives out on the ranch with Roach.”

Cahir hummed and shook his head.

“Our brother-” Lambert explained, “well, we call him our brother, anyway, he’s some bigshot doctor, loves his horses. So Eskel can stable Scorpion up there with Roach.”

“Very lucky.”

Eskel had to agree with that, they were very lucky. Even better, they made plans to visit the ranch and Scorpion at the weekend. They all went in Lambert’s truck, quietly excited for showing Cahir something new and something the other two loved.

Scorpion, it turned out, was a hit. Cahir admired him and watched raptly as Eskel brushed him down, explaining a few of the important parts about riding a horse. The mysterious brother was touted to turn up for introductions. Quietly, Lambert was reassessing the whole ‘no strings’ thing Cahir seemed intent on keeping in words if nothing else.

“Cahir?” A new voice called from the entrance to the stall, full of surprise.

Eyes wide, Cahir turned slowly. “Doctor Rivia.”

“You two know each other?!” Lambert was both delighted and confused. It at least meant they wouldn’t have to push themselves through the awkward first meeting Geralt tended to generate in a social situation.

Looking rather defensive, Cahir’s shoulder’s hunched up. “Doctor Rivia is my cardiologist.” In the silence, Cahir moved towards the entrance of the stall. “If you’ll excuse me, I should probably get going.”

Too stunned to stop him, the other three watched as Cahir walked out of the stables in long strides.

“What to fuck?” Lambert was the first to break. “I thought you only worked with transplants and terminal patients.”

Geralt was stony faced as he replied. “I do.”

“But Cahir- he-” At a loss, Eskel gestured, face twisted with pain.

“Patient confidentiality means I can’t say anything. But I can say that I’m really sorry. And that he’s been the happiest these last few months that I’ve ever seen him.”

Exchanging a look, Lambert and Eskel dashed for the door, a hasty “please sort Scorpion” thrown Geralt’s way. They caught up with Cahir relatively quickly. The idiot seemed intent on walking back to town, hands jammed in his pockets and head down.

“Cahir!” Lambert rounded on him, making him stop. “Is this the only reason you wanted no strings?”

He was given a nod and Eskel picked up the threat. “We don’t care.”

“Bit it could be tomorrow. Could be five years from now.”

“Then we have until tomorrow. Or five years from now.” Eskel pulled Cahir in, a hand on the back of his neck and tipped their foreheads together while Lambert wrapped arms around them both from the side. “So what say you? Want to try this with strings attached?”

With wet eyes, Cahir sniffled before trying to nod.

“Yeah, alright.”

#eskel/lambert/cahir #eskel #lambert #Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach #the witcher #tldr: cahir has a reason for no strings attached

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what-a-silver-lining · 3 years ago

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Sugar and Spooks (But Mostly Just Sugar)

It's Grimmtober 2021!

Day 1: Candy

“Hey, honey, what’re you...” Henry stops his sentence short, making eye contact with Sabrina, mid-bite of her chocolate bar.

The slightly unhinged look in his eldest daughter’s eyes might have clued him in on the situation because he very quickly reassessed the situation.

“Alright. Great talk, honey, see you soon.”

or, Sabrina Grimm isn't a big fan of Halloween, but that doesn't apply to the sugary treats the holiday is known for.

Note: It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything for the Sisters Grimm so bear with me, please! It’s also been QUITE a while since I’ve shared any of my work with the public, much less Tumblr, so that’ll be fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Sisters Grimm and I'm not MB. Just a fan partaking in a fandom even for Halloween :)

Some notes about this series: All the stories take place in no particular order of timeline. We’ll see about that though. It depends on how long I manage to keep this up. Not exactly canon-compliant since it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read the scripture, y’know?

So yeah, Briar’s alive (and whoever else I need for the purposes of the plot, I guess). Okay, I’ve kept you along for long enough, enjoy the first prompt!

Sabrina Grimm was not a big fan of Halloween.

Maybe she was, once upon a time, before losing her parents to a cult led by her long-lost grandmother’s magical mirror.

But the Sabrina who dressed up as the Sugar Plum Princess to go trick-or-treating around Manhattan would be very disappointed indeed at the Sabrina who grimaced at the thought of parading around in a silly costume and begging people for candy.

Which is precisely what Sabrina Grimm was doing as her younger sister begged her to take her trick-or-treating later that week.

“Please Sabrina?” Daphne begged, hands clasped together and face on the verge of breaking out into a pout. “Red and I’ve been working all month to figure out the optimus path for trick-or-treating!”

This, Sabrina knows, is very true. She’s had to chaperone a few late-afternoon adventures as the two girls timed each other on how fast they could run through the block to yield the most candy. But trailing behind her little sister and Red on the way home from school is very different from being forced to go trick-or-treating. Besides, she had plans.

“First of all Daphne, it’s optimal . And second of all, isn’t dressing up in Ferryport Landing pointless when half the people here look like they regularly shop at Spirit Halloween?” Heck, most of the people in the town have about a million variations of their likenesses up for sale in party stores around the country.

“But mom won’t let us out later unless we get someone older. She and Basil Jr. are just going to kill the mood if we have to stop before 5 pm!” Oh boy, here come the puppy eyes…

“Dad?”

“He’s too old and grumpy for Halloween.”

“And I’m not grumpy enough for you? Uh, how about Uncle Jake?”

“Already asked him. He said he’s going to a party with Briar. And something about a Monster Mash.”

“Granny? Canis? Snow? Charming?? ” Sabrina was running out of options at this point.

“Granny’s got some errands to run and Mr. Canis is going with her. If Snow takes us she won’t be there to give out giant chocolate bars, and If we ask Charming, then Snow won’t be able to convince him to give out his giant stash of imported fancy chocolate.” As Daphne counted off the options with her fingers, Sabrina felt her chance at a peaceful evening slip through her fingers.

Well… almost.

“What about Puck?” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Sabrina felt the soft halo of victory engulf her.

Fairy Boy was (more or less) the perfect candidate for Daphne and Red’s shenanigans— with the added bonus of keeping the trickster king from pulling any pranks on her in the spirit of the season.

With a quick shout of “You lucked out this time, Sabrina!” Daphne shot up the stairs in search of Puck. Presumably to work out a costume for him. There’s no chance that Puck will be able to say no to the opportunity to possibly pull a boatload of pranks on the houses that give out crappy candy.

Sabrina thinks that she’ll probably regret this decision by the end of the night on the 31st, but she’s mostly thinking about how nice it’ll be not to have to deal with Daphne on a sugar high on Halloween night.

And that’s exactly what she finds herself doing on the evening of the 31st. Not dealing with a hyperactive little sister or a prankster fairy boy with access to a million pounds of sugar. Sabrina’s confident she could probably handle Red, but she’s also never seen the Everafter girl eat a pixie stick.

None of that matters at this current moment, however, because by some stroke of luck, Sabrina is the only person currently in the Grimm household.

After double-checking that Elvis and her dad were actually out on their walk and that Puck wasn’t hiding behind any doors with an unpleasant surprise waiting for her, Sabrina let out a breath of relief.

Setting up the TV to one of the more classic seasonal reruns, Sabrina makes her way into the kitchen to retrieve her secret stash of candy. On the very bottom section of the higher shelf, out of reach of Daphne, and low enough to escape the direct view of Puck sits an inconspicuous box of generic raisin bran cereal.

Moving the box of cereal to the side reveals a second box of the same generic cereal box— gotta be careful in case her mom or dad suddenly crave a healthy dose of cereal for breakfast, right?

Again, moving that box of cereal to the side, right there . A box of plain, steel-cut oats remains the gateway between Sabrina and her secret candy stash.

Taking the box of oats with her back to the living room with the television, Sabrina spares one last cursory glance around the room to make sure there were no witnesses to her mini escapades.

The first treat of the night: a peanut butter cup.

Sabrina makes it through half the movie (and most of the peanut butter cups) before she switches to the next delicacy: a decent-sized milk chocolate bar.

As she’s about to take a big bite out of the bar, however, she hears the front door open.

Sabrina freezes, eyes wide as she realizes she’s probably been caught, and now Daphne and Puck are going to eat all her candy, and just after she’d saved up all the candy over the past couple of weeks. All that sneaking just for—.

“Hey, honey, what’re you...” Henry stops his sentence short, making eye contact with Sabrina, mid-bite of her chocolate bar.

The slightly unhinged look in his eldest daughter’s eyes might have clued him in on the situation because he very quickly reassessed the situation.

“Honestly, sweetie, I totally get it. I think Elvis and I should take an extended walk today, hm, Elvis?” The great Dane barked his agreement. “Okay, so we’ll be heading out. Maybe we’ll catch your mother and brother on the way and we’ll pick up some dinner from the diner?”

Silence.

“Alright. Great talk, honey, see you soon.”

And with that, Sabrina Grimm was once again alone in the house, free to stuff her face with discounted Halloween chocolate to her heart’s content.

Gummy bears, jelly beans, Twix bars, gumdrops, even a couple of pieces of candy corn met their demise as Sabrina continued on with the movie just as before.

Candy after candy succumbed to Sabrina’s sweet tooth binge until a decent dent had been made into the stash. As the credits rolled on the cheesy horror film, Sabrina gathered up the wrappers and candy boxes and cleaned up any remaining crumbs on the couch to dispose of the evidence.

Replacing the box of oats behind the cereal boxes in the cabinet, Sabrina silently pats herself on the back for her sneakiness. Just in time, too, as she can hear the sounds of the other kids stomping around by the entrance.

“Sabrina! We’re back!” Daphne calls from beyond the kitchen door.

“Yeah, Grimm! And we’re not sharing our candy with you!”

“...I’ll share with you, Sabrina..” Red’s voice rings, softer than the other two.

As Sabrina walks back into the living room, she sees that the three trick-or-treaters have already begun trading their candy from their trek around Ferryport Landing. True to Daphne’s word, there looked to be a couple of full-sized candy bars, probably from Snow.

The older Grimm sister sits on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t been caught. Her stash was safe— at least for today. She snags a Kit Kat and listens to the three (mostly Daphne) catch her up to speed on everything she missed when the trio had taken off earlier that afternoon.

“So actually, Puck had to do a little convincing for Charming to hand over some of his fancy candy but thankfully...”

So Sabrina Grimm isn’t the biggest fan of Halloween, but she does see the appeal of candy.

And that's a wrap for day 1! I know, cutting it super close to the deadline! I can't believe I got Ao3, Tumblr, AND FFN

Speaking of ffn, you can find me at LavenderMoonRose on fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own

#sisters grimm #grimmtober #grimmtober 2021 #sabrina grimm #puck goodfellow #daphne grimm #i tried #fanfiction

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figjelly · 3 years ago

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Feb. 26th, 2022

Hello, hello. As alluded to, I’m trying to make more of an effort keeping this blog active as an actual blog and not just a place to reblog trash (still a great place to do that though). I’ve had a lot going on in my life since November. The biggest development is me spending some time reassessing my priorities. I had a really distressing thing happen with one of my partners; it shook me badly. I feel like I handled and am handling the situation well. Much better than if I’d encountered it when I was younger.

Back to my priorities. One of my top tens was to nurture and cultivate spaces that I care for with things that are important to me. I’ve realized that I don’t have a large presence online, especially when it comes to social media. Tumblr IS sort of my main social place for me to be another part of myself that is separate from my real life. I’ve been a part of it for over a decade. It’s been a pivotal part of my growth as a person. I’ve made life-changing connections here. Not only that, but Tumblr was probably the biggest inspiration for me to keep up with my art independently throughout my life AND provided me a way to share my writing when I picked up that past time.

So, maybe I should think more about how I’m using this space and the people who are watching it and listening to me. I feel like I’m pretty genuine on here (i.e. I don’t really lie or embellish about my life). But I don’t really take the time to share more about myself. I have an instagram and I used to be more diligent about posting art on tumblr as well. As for my writing, ugh. Life. I’m just not sitting down and doing the work. I’ve got so many fics that need updating and so many that I wanna start and so many things that are original I wanna start sharing!

But also, I’m bad at reminding myself that I’m a human who needs to rest (I work two steady jobs a week, sometimes three if I teach my painting lessons) and I’m in the middle of starting weekly group therapy on top of my weekly individual sessions. Oh, and I guess also I’m trying to study to get my teaching license so I can teach middle and high school math. Which only requires me reteaching myself calculus and some other things :/

Yeah. There’s just a lot and then there’s more on top of that. I am looking forward to updating this blog more. Hopefully, it’ll motivate and inspire me.

As always, <3 Ash

#dear diary

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free--therapy · 3 years ago

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Overcoming Guilt & Shame

It's important to note that by overcoming shame and guilt, it doesn't mean that we are letting ourselves get away with something that we truly know and believe to be wrong. The point of overcoming it is making sure that we take accountability, responsibility, and coming to terms with what made us feel this way in the first place. There are 5 steps we can take to help us overcome our shame and guilt: assessing the severity of our actions, weighing our personal accountability, atoning for any harm we caused, breaking the silence of our incurred shame, and finally self-forgiveness.

It's suggested that only 1 or 2 of these steps are necessary in helping us overcome guilt, however when it comes to dealing with shame, it's best to try all 5 steps:

1. Assessing the Severity of Our Actions

It doesn't matter how big or small the action is that we feel bad about, we can still feel guilty regardless. It could be as simple as ignoring your mother's phone call to answer your best friend's call, or calling in sick to work when you don't feel like going in, and so on. Our evaluation of how serious our actions or thoughts are depends on our values and rules that we create for ourselves. It'll always be subjective and what we may feel guilty about, another person won't feel guilty in the same situation. If we often feeling guilty or ashamed, it means that we are either living our lives in a way that ends up defying and violating our own values and principles, or we may be judging ourselves too seriously on things that aren't as serious as we may believe. How can we assess how serious our actions are? Consider the following:

Do other people think this is as serious as I do? How come?

Would there be anyone else consider it less serious? How come?

How serious would I consider this to be if my friend did it instead of myself?

How important will this situation seem in a month from now? 1 year? 5 years?

Would I consider it to be serious if someone did the same thing to me?

Was I aware of the consequences or meaning of my actions/thoughts? Based on that, are my current judgments applicable?

Did I cause any damage? If I did, can I still make things right? If yes, how long would it take to do so?

Is there a more worse action I could have taken and didn't?

2. Weighing Personal Accountability

Weighing how much of what we have done and our perception of the wrongdoing is up to us now to take care of. To do this, we must evaluate the situation we're feeling guilt or shame about by starting to consider everyone and every aspect involved in the situation, including ourselves. "Aspects" or factors can be something like alcohol being involved, owing someone money/debt, the time of day (late at night where people are tired), or knowing that the certain people involved in our situation may have experienced abuse in their life as well. Anything that may have relative responsibility to the situation. Create a list, whether on paper or in the mind, and assign values to how big of a responsibility they may have in the particular situation.

Example: Having an angry outburst at a spouse for complaining about not paying bills on time. People responsible for my angry outburst: - myself: 60% - looming debts: 20% - spouse: 12% - 11pm at night: 8%

Compiling a list like this won't entirely help to eliminate guilt however, because there are situations where we should still feel guilty for doing something wrong. That guilt will help us to make amendments and atone for what we have done, but we can manage it in a way where it becomes something productive as opposed to it being another thing we turn on ourselves as a way to self-sabotage (shame). Making these sorts of lists will help us to realize that not everything is entirely our fault in situations where we feel guilty, which can help us feel a lot less guilty at the end of the day.

3. Atoning for Harm We Caused

When we're feeling guilt as a result for causing harm to others, it's important that we make sure we make amends for what we have done. Doing so can have a very important impact in healing ourselves and the relationship(s) we may have ruined. Atoning for our actions involves recognizing what we did and having the courage to face the person we hurt, asking for their forgiveness, and figuring out what we can do to make things right.

Here are some questions we can consider when trying to figure out how we can atone for what we have done:

Who did I hurt?

What did I do that was hurtful?

This is why it was wrong (the values I violated):

This is what I can do to make amends:

This is what I can tell the person I hurt: I recognize that when I (behavior/action) ____________, this hurt you. It was wrong because ___________. I'm sorry that I did that to you. What I want to do is _______ to show you how truly sorry I am. I hope that you can forgive me with time.

We have to remember that even though we may ask for forgiveness, the other person is under no obligation to grant us it and we have to be okay with that. The whole point of asking for forgiveness and trying to make amends is to help us feel better about the guilt that we have, especially when we're truly sorry.

4. Breaking the Silence of Incurred Shame/Guilt

Because shame has to do with having to keep things secretive, it helps for us to talk to someone we trust about what happened. We usually keep these things secret because we believe that if anyone ever finds out, we'll be criticized, condemned, or rejected for it. By telling someone, we may be surprised to find acceptance and this response ends up forcing ourselves to reassess the meaning of the secret that we hold onto. But how do we find someone we can trust when we have trust issues? We have to find someone that we believe we can share our secret in confidence, whether it be a friend, a coworker, or a mental health professional. Holding onto the shame will only increase the impact it has on us. More likely than not, a lot of people are more understanding that we have been led to believe. A lot of people have likely had similar experiences as us and know how to handle it, or they know people who may have been through things and have their an understanding of what we're going through. We all assume we're alone in our suffering and shame, but more likely than not, we are more alike in experiences, and even if we don't have the same experiences as other, we are eager to listen and learn, and offer advice. Not everyone is going to react the way we think.

5. Self-Forgiveness

Part of being a human is making mistakes. Perfection is merely just a concept that will never be attainable, but so many stress over to achieve. All of us at some point in our lives have done things that we told ourselves that we would never do, or violate the morals and values we hold. This is something that we all do and sometimes we may consider ourselves as "bad" people because of them, but violations don't necessarily mean that. Sometimes our actions may have been linked to a certain situation or time in our lives and can change as we progress in life.

When we come to realize this and how we are all susceptible to being imperfect, it's a lot easier to forgive others, including ourselves. Self-forgiveness will help us to alleviate a lot of our shame and guilt. It can lead us to a change in our perspective and interpretation of the mistake we made. We learn to become a lot more compassionate kind towards ourselves as we begin to understand that we may have made said mistakes during a time where we didn't care how we behaved, as opposed to believing we are "bad" people.

Self-forgiveness, just like forgiving someone else, doesn't mean that we are approving, forgetting, or even denying the pain that we have caused to other people. It involves recognizing that we are imperfect, we make mistakes, and that we can accept our shortcomings and the consequences of our actions. We have to be okay with acknowledging and recognizing that we have both good and negative qualities, and that we also have strengths and weaknesses.

Here's how we can begin to work towards self-forgiveness:

What do I need to forgive myself for?

What impact did my actions have on myself on others?

How will it continue to affect me and others?

How do I imagine my life will be better if I can forgive myself?

Forgiveness begins with understanding. What life experiences have I had that might have contributed to what I did?

What would I think about someone else who did the same thing?

What are some positive aspects about myself that I usually ignore when I'm feeling guilty or ashamed?

In a compassionate and kind voice, how can I forgive myself for what I've done?

What are some qualities that I have that can help me to move forward?

Adapted from Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger, Ph.d & Christine Padesky, Ph.d.

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ootori-sibs · 4 years ago

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Kyoya's second shot

Episode sixteen: Boy's night!

Tw: hallucinations (mentioned), suicidal ideation.

10:29 - I haven't told the hosts that I've been grounded, they would likely ask why.

11:42 - Haruhi is taking the day off, almost didn't note this down, due to its obviousness. The hosts are attempting to fill me in on what I missed; they are attempting to claim she was cornered by many more then she was,

And scolding me for not paying attention.

"C'mon Kyoya-senpai, we're trying to fill you in here!" Hikaru whined, frowning at him, "what are you even writing?"

"I am paying attention, what I'm writing is notes on the situation." He rolled his eyes, what was it with the hosts and assuming he wasn't paying attention? Did they not know how he saw everything?

“What were you up to?” Honey had piped up curiously, “when Haru-chan was hurt? Tama-chan said you were busy.”

Well Kyoya couldn’t just tell him that Honey’s own brother was the reason for Kyoya’s absence. So he merely shrugged, “personally, I don’t see why that’s important information,” he also didn’t want to tell them he’d gotten hurt- they would be sure to ask too many questions.

Hikaru had been a bit rude this entire term, and this rule held firm now. He stared at Kyoya in suspicion, tone brash, “well it is important considering how you've been so damn rude to her this whole year!” It appeared he was angry. This was bad news, if one of the hosts doubted him, then it couldn't be too long until the others did as well. So Kyoya would have to quell their fears quickly- he may have to tell part of the truth.

He sighed, glancing down and putting on the expression of sadness. “Well if you’re going to accuse me, and truly believe i’d ever do that, then i am forced to tell you; I was in the hospital, I had sprained my ankle.” Silence fell over the hosts as he said that, eyes going to Kyoya’s ankle. Kyoya glanced back at Hikaru, seeing the instant guilt in the ginger’s face, “I didn’t want to tell you, because I felt it would be selfish when Haruhi required your entire attention.” That’s the kicker, the instan flash of guilt in his fellow hosts’ eyes as they realised how uncaring they’d been.

Tamaki gasped, clinging to Kyoya, "aw noo! Kyoooyyyaaa! That could never be selfish! You should have told us you were injured, we wouldn't have gotten angry or anything like that."

He had always been the sweetest person, Kyoya had to adore him even more in this moment. He just sighed and leant into Tamaki's touch, something he never did. The hosts reacted as he'd expected, surprise and the obvious reassessment of how they'd viewed any and all of Kyoya's recent actions- even Tamaki was surprised, pausing in his big dramatic comforting to wrap his arms around Kyoya gently, he was so warm… why was Tamaki always so warm?

Hikaru had apologized to Kyoya for being so accusatory, and Kyoya just sighed, "it's fine… I understand." He did, he understood, Hikaru was entirely correct.

"Hmm," Tamaki set his chin on Kyoya's head, he was always so clingy but Kyoya had to admit he loved it, "why don't we have a sleepover tonight? Just the boys?" Oh fuck, Kyoya knew that was going to come back to bite him. The other hosts seemed really keen on the idea, nodding and adding fun things they could do. Kyoya absolutely hated the idea of ruining his friends fun, especially if he was finally going to get the quality time with his friends that he'd wanted for so long.

He sighed, pushing Tamaki away. The poor king looked so confused and concerned, Kyoya couldn't look him in the eyes, hanging his head- the light hit his glasses in the wonderful way that hides his eyes. "I'm afraid I will not be able to join you."

"What? Why?" Tamaki sounded so hurt in that moment, but there was so much concern in his tone. Kyoya felt so much guilt as he heard the other boy's questioning.

"I've been grounded…" a heavy breath left his lips, he felt as if he had admitted to a crime, "I won't be able to attend the after-school session either, as father has forbidden extracurriculars for a week."

There was a silence that fell over the hosts, their expressions one of a deep shock- Kyoya never got in trouble, not to this degree at least. Not once before had any of his family been grounded either, the most being Akito getting forbidden from attending certain parties. Kyoya is an utter disappointment, and now the hosts could tell. "What did you do Kyo-chan? Why are you grounded?"

He swallowed in shame, not wanting to explain, he simply sighed, trying to come up with an excuse, "it's… it's nothing, you shouldn't worry about it. Enjoy your sleepover." Kyoya went to stand up, but Tamaki grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Kyoya wait, are you sure there's nothing we can do? If it's nothing then surely you can just talk to him about it? Maybe I can speak to him for you?"

"No!" Kyoya snapped, clasping his hands over his mouth, he never yelled, so the fact that it made him panic clearly showed the hosts that something was wrong, "I… I mean, it's not nothing but I just don't want to talk about such things, it's really not a big deal. Just have your stupid sleepover without me." With that, he yanked his arm away from Tamaki, grabbing his bag and heading to sit and wait in the classroom.

12:23 - The hosts will be having a sleepov Tamaki's being s The hosts know I am grounded and will be unable to join them for any activities for a week.

12:26 - I somehow feel even more alone

He didn't even help with the lunchtime session, ignoring the texts and missed calls. It didn't matter, it wasn't like he was of use anyway, he could do his one job from here. Which was how he spent all his freetime that day: doing the club finances. Tamaki sat next to him in every class, so it was nearly impossible to ignore him and Kyoya had to resort to speaking only when the question asked of him was of academic importance. It hurt him to ignore Tamaki like this, he loved him so much after all- but it had to be done, Kyoya had to keep the hosts from discovering the mess that he'd become.

It wouldn't be permanent anyway, his being a mess. Once he was with Tamaki, everything would get better, the world would be good again. Tamaki was so special, so wonderful, and Kyoya only needed a little bit of love to survive, and he'd fight for it; that love, he'd fight like he'd never fought before. He wanted to kill himself so much, but he promised himself that he wouldn't let that happen, in this moment he swore to himself that he could never kill himself until he had Tamaki.

I refuse to die until I am married.

He'd forgotten to write the date, he always wrote the date. He supposed it didn't really matter as it hadn't been too long since his last entry, only an hour or two. Besides; it wasn't like it was something that had happened in a specific time.

The first thing he did when he got home was breakdown in tears, leaning against the front door and sobbing. He knew this was dangerous; father could come along at any moment. So he got up, and he tried to wipe his tears, heading up the stairs to his room. Once he got up into his room, he broke down again, on the floor and sobbing. He felt horrible, he felt terrible, he couldn't breathe, he was shaking through sobs and gasping for breath. Kyoya managed to drag himself away from the door and to the window, laying down there and just sobbing his little heart out, staring out the window.

He'd never been grounded before, he'd never been such a disappointment in his life. He didn't know what to do or how to handle this, it was entirely new to him. Kyoya was a mess in the moment, tears spilling out in ways it shouldn't be; Kyoya wasn't supposed to be weak, Kyoya wasn't supposed to be a failure, Kyoya was supposed to be just like his brothers and perfect in every way.

He'd been laying there for a while, just crying and wishing he was never born. He had turned his phone off about three hours ago, he wanted to ignore the world for a bit. There was a knock… but it wasn't at his door, it was at his window. Hm, that wasn't where knocks were supposed to come from. Kyoya glanced over and- oh what the fuck? Why was Tamaki here?

"What the… Tamaki??" He sat up, rushing to open the window. He watched as Tamaki climbed in through the window, followed by the rest of the boys. It was certainly a spectacle and Kyoya found himself chuckling at the sight. "Why are you here??"

Tamaki sat up, smiling brightly, "well we couldn't just have a sleepover without you! Since you're grounded, I figured we'd have the sleepover here!"

God… that was the dumbest thing Kyoya had ever heard. He stared at Tamaki for a few minutes, unsure how to react, "are you trying to get me in trouble?"

"Noo! We wouldn't do that to you!" Tamaki clung to him, rubbing their faces together, Kyoya's face went red. "We'll be good, I promise."

Kyoya nodded, "alright then, but you have to be quiet." He stood up, wiping his tears and heading to his bed, were the hosts were gathering.

17:01 - For once, I feel loved.

So the hosts sat quietly around Kyoya's bed, whispering in hushed voices. It was almost fun to hide like this, the hosts almost made the fear fun. They spoke of spooky stories- the perfect topic for such a hushed tone. Keeping the lights off, they spoke of ghosts and ghouls, zombies and other assorted horrors.

When it was Kyoya's turn, he took the torch that was being passed around and took a level breath in. "Recently, only wednesday, Tamaki spent the night at my house," he began, noticing how confused the hosts were, that this story wasn't spooky in the slightest, he almost smiled, "it was after his argument with Haruhi. I had waited for him during it, though that part isn't important. What is important is the fact that I found myself waking up late at night, and whatever had woken me, didn't stir Tamaki in the slightest." He recalled the thing he saw, shivering, "it wasn't a human, it was too tall to be human. It was… almost a shadow with the way it looked, not fully corporeal…" he glanced back up at the hosts, noticing they looked a mix of hooked and concerned, he continued, "it flickered in the sliver of moonlight that came through the curtains, it's eyes gave off more light then that though. It was grabbing at the bedsheets, staring down at us with bright white eyes- I would have woken Tamaki if I had been able to move. It was a horrifying creature, not of this world. It caused no visible harm, but I still believe my story is superior.”

The hosts looked at him in shock, Tamaki's hands were shaking, “is that real? Did you really see it?”

Kyoya paused, god- did that make him sound crazy? He didn’t want the hosts to think him crazy. “N… no, no, it was… just a story. Nothing to worry about.” He smiled, passing the torch along. He was mentally kicking himself for having been so supid, why did he tell them that story? Why didn’t he make something up? Ugh, he was so stupid.

The night continued nicely, with the hosts sharing stories and talking about everything and nothing. For once in what felt like forever, Kyoya felt calm, he felt at peace. Eventually they went to sleep, all curled up on the bed in a big pile. Kyoya was incredibly warm, with his head resting on Mori and Tamaki clinging to his torso, the twins had their legs over his and were snoring quite softly. He was comfortable… he wished this could happen more often.

In the morning, the hosts snuck back out the window, not wanting to get caught. Kyoya woke up alone, colder than when he'd gone to bed. His first thought was that he wished they'd stayed, then he remembered that he was grounded and felt his heart sink. He noticed that the maid's had left him some coffee, but it was out of his reach, and he didn't want to get out of bed… so he just flops down and tries to go back to sleep.

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #tamaki souh #tamakyo #kaoru hitachiin #hikaru hitachiin #takashi morinozuka #mitsukuni haninozuka #secondshot

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orionsangel86 · 5 years ago

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“I Think It’s Time For Me To Move On”

...And Other Things That Have Destroyed Me This Weekend...

So there is this common trope within love stories which generally happens at the end of the second act in which everything goes wrong and we all think that the lovers are doomed to failure. Its pretty much standard in every Jane Austen novel, every romantic film every made, every single bloody love story. Go ahead, name one. I guarantee you the break up moment is there.

Within the epic love story of Dean and Cas, there have been many break up moments, and all have had their emotionally devastating impact on the relationship and the show...

But THIS was a different level.

(For a nice summary of Destiel break up moments and understanding of this trope, @tinkdw wrote about it here.)

I didn’t think that there would be another moment within Dean and Cas’s relationship that could hit me this hard. The mixtape in 12x19, the wrapping of Cas’s body in 13x01, and the return of Cas in 13x05 are moments that I consider to be the very top of the scale in making this pairing undeniably romantic. Moments that pushed it beyond a platonic interpretation. These three moments have been the things I cling to when the show has otherwise made me doubt any conclusion to the DeanCas story, and since there hasn’t been another one of those moments since 13x05, until now I have been somewhat nervous that the story was dropped, or being forced back behind a platonic screen.

15x03 has ripped that screen away.

Emotional meta under cut...

This entire episode was an emotion fuelled dramatic roller-coaster that killed off three characters including our beloved witch queen in a scene that almost stole the show and practically canonised the SamWitch ship. Rowena’s death should have been by far the most torturous moment for viewers to endure, and it was extremely torturous and had me sobbing on a plane 3 hours into a 7 hour flight. That incredibly heartfelt moment between Sam and Rowena will probably go down as one of the top tear-jerking moments on this show. It was tragic in the best way - the way Supernatural is famous for.

But lets not gloss over the fact that in an episode where THAT should have been the climax, where THAT should have been the emotional highlight and end point, instead we get a further MORE dramatic stand off between Dean and Cas that pulled focus and ripped all of our hearts out just as violently as poor Ketch in the first act (a very clever and smug piece of meta foreshadowing there Mr Berens).

On a meta level, this is HUGE as a writing choice because they MUST know how this looks. This was the climax of the third episode of the finale season. The way Supernatural has always structured itself since Carver era is that the first three mytharc episodes of each season establish the direction of the story and set the foundations for the character level focal points and dramatic key notes to come.

That the writers have chosen to end the foundation episodes with a DeanCas break up moment that was more dramatic than a Spanish Telenovela has just stunned me and left me reeling because I just can’t see how else this can go. This break up scene absolutely DEMANDS a huge reconciliation of the sort that will be part of the A plot of the season - the FINAL SEASON. Guys. Part of the reason I have been so quiet and so disillusioned with the show during late season 13 and season 14 was because they pushed any Destiel plot into non existent territory - it became kinda irrelevant and Dean and Cas just acted like friends (homoerotic friends yes, and sometimes like an old married couple, but it was mostly played as an afterthought imo), so for this to suddenly be brought to the forefront of the emotional story again is excellent news for us.

The thing is, like with those huge moments I listed above, the break up scene is basically undeniably romantic when you break it down to its components:

1. It’s only Dean and Cas.

Once again we have another scene of high stake emotions that excludes Sam. In a platonic reading of the show, it makes zero sense for there to be such a hugely disjointed relationship between Cas and Dean and Cas and Sam given he has known them both for so long now that if they were all “just friends” then surely Sam would also feel the impact of Cas’s choices as heavily as Dean. In a platonic reading, Dean comes across as an asshole, Sam comes across as being weirdly uncaring about his friend of 10 years, and Cas comes across as not even bothering to get Sam’s opinion before leaving. A romantic reading makes sense because quite literally THIS IS A ROMANTIC BREAK UP.

2. The words spoken.

“Well I don’t think there is anything left to say.”

“I think it’s time for me to move on”

From Cas’s perspective at least, name one time in a piece of media where such language has been used for a platonic breakup sincerely? There have been heartfelt break up songs that use these exact words. (I should know I’ve spent the last 24 hours listening to them all).

That last line in particular is so heavy. It’s the last line of the episode and nothing about it is platonic. This is relationship terminology my dudes. “I need to move on, and get over you.” This is Cas’s bloody Adele song. My heart breaks for him, but if I was his sassy and fabulous best girlfriend right now I’d be sitting him down, sipping a cocktail, flipping my hair and telling him “Babe, you’re too good for him. Good Riddance. Let’s go out, have some cocktails, something pink and fruity. No dive bars for us darling. I’ll take you to Heaven... the fun one in London.”

In all seriousness though, from Cas’s perspective, this was him admitting defeat and giving up the fight for love. How anyone can possibly say Cas isn’t in love with Dean after this, well I just don’t know what show you are watching. This is the face of a heartbroken man who has just accepted that his love is unrequited.

3. The many faces of Dean Winchester

On the other end of the scale, Dean was mostly silent after his poisonous words “And why does that something always seem to be you?”

Forgive the terrible gif quality I’ve no time for fancy gif work!

Look at his face here. He knows what he said was fucked up and he immediately regrets it. The way he swallows around that regret and then turns away.

and after Cas says that devastating final line and walks away? We get THIS reaction from him:

The jaw clench as he looks down. The sorrow on his face as he realises he has well and truly fucked this up. LOOK

Finally, he looks up, makes himself look up and watch Cas leave. If that isn’t the face of a broken man I dunno what to tell you. Anyone who thinks Dean is totally heartless and uncaring right now needs to reassess because this is NOT the face of someone uncaring. This is the face of someone who has just lost everything. Again.

4. The FUCKING MUSIC

Seriously. The sweeping heavy drama of the low strings that come in right after Dean says that horrid line, that carry the weight of the look of horror and heartbreak on Cas’s face as they amplify the emotion there. As they blend seamlessly into the slow and subtle version of the Winchester family theme behind Cas’s heartbreaking speech and Dean’s stubborn stoic face hiding a multitude of emotion, until the violin dominates as Cas says “I think it’s time for me to move on” and the Winchester Theme swells to its climax, ripping all our hearts out just like poor Ketch as Dean watches Cas walk out of his life surrounded by darkness.

I MEAN.

A friend on Twitter reminded us all of this point about the importance of this theme via @justanotheridijiton here which is essentially:

“The Winchester theme is not simply an aural marker to let the audience know when and how Sam and Dean love each other (any Supernatural fan knows that is the baseline of their relationship), but to provide narrative information, especially when the image and dialogue are incomplete or inconsistent with the true situation... Seasoned fans will recognize the theme and its history of being paired with images indicating deep emotional bonding and a desire to do the right thing by the Winchester code. Here we trust our ears over our eyes to reveal the truth.”

So here is yet another key indicator that any surface read that this is actually an ending between Dean and Cas and that Dean really is just an angry asshole is utter bullshit.

Honestly, this was PAINFUL, but it was painful in the best way. It was 13x01 levels of pain, but this time it was Cas choosing to walk away which makes all the difference. Dean’s greatest fear isn’t his loved ones dying on him after all, but of his loved ones choosing to leave him. This was exactly the kick up the ass Dean needs in order to win Cas back, classic love trope style.

Hence my excitement at what is to come. Yes we won’t see Cas again until 15x06, but in the meantime I fully expect a good helping of angst and wallowing from a depressed Dean who has to deal with the fact that he has just lost the love of his life and it is all his fault. That he just pushed away the one person who promised they would always stay by his side. That has got to hurt.

So yeah, this episode emotionally destroyed me, and I’ve only really covered the primary reason, let alone all my feels over SamWitch, Rowena’s death, Belphegor’s taunting of Cas over his deepest fears and then having to suffer through smiting a creature wearing the face of his son until his body was nothing but a burnt corpse... I wonder if Bobo had a bet going in the office over how much he could hurt us all? He was certainly enjoying scrolling through the Supernatural tag on Twitter and liking everyone’s reaction tweets including some brilliant Destiel related ones. I do love Bobo. Our Angst Goblin King.

If anyone had asked me a few weeks ago what my thoughts were on the chances of getting explicit canon Destiel by series end, I would have said somewhere in the realms of 30-40%, considering it a battle of wills between DabbBerens and CW studio execs who I still feel are against it in general. I would have considered everything that happened after 13x06 as the writers getting a big NO on Destiel from the network and therefore having to pull back on any Destiel related plot points (purely my own speculation on BTS matters of course).

Now I am wondering if Dabb kept fighting the network? If he managed to wear them down into begrudging acceptance? I’m currently up to around an 80% chance of textual canon DeanCas if we continue on this path. If Dean is clearly shown to be mourning and hating himself over Cas next episode, and if this DeanCas dramatic plot line continues to be a focal point of the emotional story arcs... well...

I’m side eyeing 15x07 a lot right now. Only in my wildest dreams would I think that they might actually introduce an old boyfriend for Dean in a “coming out” episode, but the placement, timing, and potential is all there and I’m kind of once again donning the clown mask because I’m just in awe at everything that they are doing. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. In the meantime, I’m gonna paint my face in red and white and wear my rainbow wig and listen to break up songs on Spotify whilst trying to shove my heart back into my chest where Bobo Beren’s gleefully ripped it out with his hands like the demonic angst goblin he is. Wish me luck, I’m not sure I’m gonna get through this season with my emotions intact.

#destiel #supernatural #spn meta #destiel meta #spn speculation #season 15 #15x03 #castiel #dean winchester #spn spoilers #my meta #destiel dreaming #destiel break up

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tsuki-chibi · 4 years ago

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Blueberry Peach (Adrien AUGreste) Part 4: Chocolate chip cookie

Or read it on AO3: Blueberry Peach

Also find the other parts of the series AO3: Fruitful verse

--------

The next morning, Marinette actually climbed out of bed a whole hour before her alarm went off - in other words, a whole two hours before she usually scrambled out of bed. Adrien was a quiet, slumbering presence in the back of her mind as she got dressed and packed up her school bag. She scooped a sleepy Tikki into her purse and made her way downstairs, where she found her maman in the kitchen.

"Hi Maman. Are you feeling better?" Marinette asked.

Sabine smiled at her. "Much better, but where do you think you're going this early?"

"Um... to school? To finish my project with Chloé?" Marinette lied, holding her bag up as proof and hoping that her maman wouldn't ask too many questions. Technically she was still supposed to be grounded for having gone out while Zombizou was attacking the city, but sometimes, if she was very lucky, her parents would forget about her punishments if they got too wrapped up in the bakery.

"What kind of project is this?" Sabine asked suspiciously.

"It's a presentation," Marinette said, edging towards the door. "I'm going to be late, Maman. You know what Chloé is like. I really don't want to make her mad this early."

Sabine didn't look convinced, but she nodded. "Alright. Take some pastries with you for breakfast. Maybe they'll help you butter Chloé up."

"Not likely," Marinette said wryly, slipping some shoes on. The only thing that seemed to have warmed Chloé up was the fact that Marinette was Adrien's soulmate, and that Adrien was fiercely protective of his lady. Chloé was too scared of losing Adrien to keep up her vendetta against Marinette. It would've been easy to be spiteful or petty and put some cracks in Chloé's and Adrien's relationship, but Marinette didn't want to do that. Adrien had too few friends as it was, and Chloé was - sort of - not too bad of a person once you got to know her better.

She headed downstairs to the bakery kitchen and received a box of half a dozen croissants from her papa. Marinette tucked the box under her arm as she made her way outside and ducked into an alley. Tikki emerged from her purse as Marinette set down her bag and started reorganizing her things to make the box fit inside.

"Are you taking those to Master Fu?" Tikki asked.

"God no," Marinette said, shaking her head. "He doesn't deserve them."

Tikki sighed. "I don't disagree, but..."

"But?" Marinette looked up at her kwami. It warmed her heart to see Tikki floating there.

"The guardian of the miraculous is an important figure," Tikki said slowly, as though searching for the right words. "He could make life very difficult for you and Adrien."

"He can't take our miraculous away again," Marinette said sharply.

"No, I don't think he would. He's learned his lesson in that respect," Tikki said, and she sounded a bit smug.

"I get where you're coming from, Tikki. But I'm not going to bow down to someone who doesn't deserve my respect. And so far, Master Fu has just made bad decisions. First he took our miraculous away and then he gave my miraculous to Lila. Lila! Of all people!" Marinette huffed, snapping her bag shut. "I'll be polite, but that's about all he's earned."

Her ire was enough to wake Adrien, who startled awake and thought, 'What? What's wrong? Akuma?' in a half-asleep daze.

'No akuma. Just having a chat with Tikki,' Marinette thought, pushing aside her frustration. She felt guilty for waking him up, which of course Adrien picked up on.

'It's fine, My Lady,' he thought, muffling a yawn. 'Though I do have to wonder what you're doing awake so - ah, you weren't kidding about interrogating Master Fu.'

'Damn straight I'm not,' Marinette thought back.

"You're right," Tikki said, drawing Marinette's attention back to her. She was smiling. "I'm proud of you, Marinette. You've grown up a lot."

"Thanks Tikki," Marinette said, touched. "Does that mean you'll let me transform and take the quick way to Master Fu's?"

Tikki pretended to think about it. "Well..."

"Come on. There's four chocolate chip cookies up for grabs," Marinette coaxed.

"Deal," Tikki said instantly.

"Great! Tikki, spots on!"

Ladybug took her yoyo from her hip and threw it up at the top of the nearest building; it snagged and jerked her off her feet, hauling her up onto the roof. She headed for Master Fu's house as Adrien, yawning, crawled out of bed and into his computer chair. They both had homework they hadn't finished, so Adrien started working away at it. Though his attention definitely started to wander when Ladybug landed outside Master Fu's shop and slipped through the - surprisingly unlocked, given the early hour - front door.

"Master Fu?" she called out, and a small, familiar form emerged from the hallway.

"Good morning, Ladybug. It's nice to see you again," Wayzz said politely.

"Hello Wayzz," Ladybug said with a smile. She looked at the kwami for a moment, then added, "Say, Wayzz, when you transform with someone, what kind of power do they get?"

Wayzz didn't seem surprised by the question but answered readily. "As the kwami of protection, I offer my holder the power of protection. Typically, their weapon is a shield. When they use their power, it generates a spherical green force field that is almost impenetrable. It can be expanded to cover a large distance, or contracted to -"

"Wayzz!" Master Fu said sharply as he entered the room.

"Hello, Master," Ladybug said coolly as Wayzz went quiet. "I asked him."

Master Fu frowned at her. "That information is private, Ladybug."

"But you said you wanted me to become the guardian someday, so I need to know," she countered, crossing her arms.

"I said that you were a potential candidate," Master Fu replied. "Not that I had completely made up my mind. Certain factors have recently made me reassess your suitability."

'Ouch,' Adrien thought.

Ladybug clenched her fists. "That's ridiculous,” she said, feeling a bit like Chloé. “Just because Chat can hear what I’m thinking doesn’t change anything! I’m still just as capable as I was before!” She didn’t understand why he didn’t want Chat knowing these things, but it was really pissing her off.

“It’s more complicated than you realize,” said Master Fu, which she didn’t think was true at all.

‘Tell him you need to know because of battles,’ Adrien thought.

“We need to know about the different miraculous because of battles,” Ladybug said. “We got lucky this time. The Bee was exactly what we needed. But it might not have been, and we can’t waste precious time during a fight explaining the situation to you and letting you pick out the miraculous that works best. It would be much more efficient if you’d explain it now.” She stared him down, daring him to argue.

“She has a point, Master,” Wayzz ventured. “During akuma attacks, time is of the essence.”

Master Fu sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “Will Chat Noir be joining us?”

“Yeah, he will,” Ladybug said firmly.

‘I will?’ Adrien thought.

‘I want him to know he’s telling the both of us,’ Ladybug thought.

‘… I can be there in five minutes,’ Adrien thought.

“He’ll be here shortly,” Ladybug added.

“Very well. This way.” Master Fu stepped aside to allow her entrance to the back part of the shop. Feeling like she’d earned them a victory, however small, Ladybug walked back as Chat jumped out the window of the mansion and started heading their way.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #master fu #adrienaugreste #tikki #ladybug #blueberry peach

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