#and made me reassess the situation which was so important!!!! it was much needed!!!!

[anonymousewrites]

Logos and Pathos (Book 4) Epilogue

TOS! Spock x Empath! Spouse! Reader

Epilogue: Space, the Final Frontier

Summary: The Enterprise is united.

Mouse Note: And with that, Logos and Pathos concludes! It's been such an honor to have so much support so far, and I'm so amazed by how many of you have enjoyed yourselves reading this. I never thought Stark trek would get this attention, and it's been so much fun sharing with you all. This series has meant so much to me, and I've loved writing for it. Perhaps someday we'll get a prologue to it with Strange New Worlds, but currently, I am considering this series finished. Gold and Spock will always mean a lot to me, and so will all of you! I hope to see you guys in my other stories, perhaps even the Supernatural fic releasing Wednesday. But, for now, goodbye!

            “Thank you for your hospitality,” said Saavik politely as she sat across from (Y/N) and Spock.

            “Of course,” said (Y/N), ladling plomeek soup into Saavik’s bowl.

            On another plate, a tiramisu-like dessert made from Celian plants sat ready to eat. They had small trees that grew “beans” that created bitter liquids, but the color…well, pink was a really pretty coffee color, wasn’t it?

            “How are you?” asked (Y/N).

            “My work with reassessing the Genesis project after its failure has been productive,” said Saavik. “I have trained other scientists with Dr. Marcus. It is classified, still, so I cannot discuss more.”

            (Y/N) smiled in amusement. They already knew too much about the Genesis project, so they didn’t mind Saavik not disclosing more. Plus, it was very Vulcan of her to keep to the rules. “Of course,” they said.

            “What is your current assignment?” said Spock.

            “Starfleet has not alerted me to a new assignment yet,” said Saavik. “Diplomatic negotiations with the Klingon Empire took precedence.”

            (Y/N) cleared their throat. “Yes, it did.” They and Spock had been forbidden to talk about anything from those incidents until the trials and negotiations were officially finished. They took a sip of soup and glanced at Spock. “We wanted to speak to you about that.”

            Saavik raised a brow and glanced at Spock inquisitively. “Oh?”

            “Indeed,” said Spock. He set down his spoon, and Saavik watched him as he prepared his words. “You have shown yourself to be an efficient, intelligent, productive officer.”

            Saavik nodded. It was a compliment, but Vulcans did not exaggerate. Saavik knew her capability.

            “Your career has potential,” said Spock. “And I—We—” he looked at (Y/N), who smiled “—want you to be in the best position for that potential.”

            “Your mentoring and advice—” Saavik had gotten both from Spock and (Y/N), who had taken the young Vulcan under her wing “—has been helpful.”

            “We’re glad,” said (Y/N). They grinned. “I hear you’ve started doing more than just working with coworkers. Helena told me she convinced you to go to a party with her. She had a lot of fun with you.”

            Saavik straightened. “I have been at headquarters for some time waiting for my new assignment, and people have…invited me to pass the time with them.”

            “Having friends is good,” said (Y/N), though they suspected a bit more than friendship was blossoming between Helena and Saavik. “A well-rounded officer can do their job and has time for their personal needs, too, and friendship is one of them.” It was an important lesson.

            “I have…friends,” said Saavik.

            The word implied emotion, which was odd for a Vulcan, but Saavik was honest. And she looked up to (Y/N), seeing the same wisdom Spock had long ago embraced. Emotions could be controlled, but they did not need to be an enemy to be beaten.

            “We’re happy for you, Saavik,” said (Y/N).

            “Yes,” said Spock. “And we want you to continue being…satisfied with your situation.” He wouldn’t use the word “happy.” It wasn’t a Vulcan word.

            “I hope to be content at my next assignment,” said Saavik, nodding.

            Spock laced his fingers. “That is what we wish to discuss. Saavik, we are retiring from the Enterprise in two months.”

            Saavik nodded.

            “And we want to make sure the right officers succeed us,” said Spock. “Saavik, I believe you would do well on the Enterprise.”

            “I am a command-track officer,” said Saavik. “I cannot take your position.”

            “You’d take mine,” said (Y/N). “Though a lieutenant.”

            “A Vulcan replacing a Celian empath?” said Saavik. She knew people would talk.

            “We care about people being in the right situation for themself and the right person being part of the crew,” said (Y/N) firmly. “You’re the right choice. Your race does not matter.” They smiled. “In fact, Spock and I are going to speak to Helena for a science position.”

            “Some people may judge a Celian on the science track, as they did when (Y/N) chose command instead of health, but that does not discount one’s ability,” said Spock.

            “So, Saavik, we’re not going to make you take any job,” said (Y/N). “But if you are interested, we want you to join the Enterprise crew.”

            Saavik looked between (Y/N) and Spock, the two people who had really taken care of her while she joined Starfleet. “…I am honored.”

            (Y/N) smiled, and Spock nodded. “We’re glad,” said (Y/N). “You’re going to do amazing things.”

            Spock and (Y/N) had served Starfleet for years. They’d built a life and strong reputation. They’d served an amazing ship with a crew that became family. Now it was nearly time to hand that down to deserving young officers. Like Saavik. Like Elpis. Like so many others. The future would be safe in their hands. Besides, Spock and (Y/N) weren’t gone. They were still there to do work. It would just be…different. Good, but different. New. Full of opportunity.

l

            “I’m glad Saavik accepted your offer,” said Spock while (Y/N) snacked some more on their delicious pink dessert.

            “She’s going to do great,” said (Y/N). “I know Vulcans don’t consider themselves ‘kind,’ just logical, but Saavik…her temperament is meant for command. She understands people more than she thinks.”

            Spock nodded. “Indeed. I’ve seen reports of her working on conflict resolution. She’s capable.”

            “And hopefully, Helena will take your offer for the science position,” said (Y/N). “She’s smart, analytical, and able to problem solve in new situations quickly.”

            “From evaluations, she also uses her empathy well when working with others,” said Spock. “She reads when they’re worried and gives them facts to calm anxiety before it harms a mission.”

            “She works hard,” said (Y/N). “Introverted but knows her strength is intelligence, so she uses it.” They smiled. “And, best of all, Saavik and Helena are friends. They’d made a good pair.”

            Spock raised a brow. “Of colleagues?” He knew his spouse’s thinking well.

            “If you call us colleagues when we worked together,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Ah, so this is matchmaking,” said Spock, a slight tease in his voice.

            “Mmmmmaybe,” said (Y/N). “But I wouldn’t put that over my job. I found out about their friendship after their skills.”

            Spock knew (Y/N) wouldn’t harm the future Enterprise crew for matchmaking. That was a happy side effect of their work.

            “I think we’ve got a good crew coming together,” said (Y/N). “Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, they’re all giving insight, finding people, talking to them. Chekov is going to be the captain. I think things are working out. All that work, all those years…it’s all going to mean something.” Spock walked to (Y/N), and they leaned against him with a soft smile. “We did a good job building a future.”

            “We did,” said Spock. “We served Starfleet as officers. We completed missions. We saved lives. And now we move on to another part of life and give the next generation their time.”

            “They’re going to do amazing,” said (Y/N), already proud. “And the Enterprise is going to be okay. The future is going to be okay.” They traced Spock’s fingers with theirs. “And we still have each other. Our family. Us.”

            “We always will,” said Spock softly, raising their hand to kiss the palm, an intimate, loving gesture. “And our lives are still continuing. It is simply a new phase. But this—” he kissed the back of their hand “—will not change.”

            “I know.” (Y/N) slid their hand so they could kiss his. Spock shivered slightly, and (Y/N) smiled. “And that’s how I know we’re going to be okay, no matter what. Because I love you. I always will.”

            “And I love you, T’hy’la,” said Spock. “Always. Across all time and all universes. I will always love you.”

            (Y/N) smiled, pulled him in, and kissed him. The future would be just fine. Starfleet had new officers. They could guide the next generations. They had logic and love. And they had one another.

l

            “You know, as reports come out, they’re saying we saved civilization as we know it,” said Kirk, leaning on the back of Spock and (Y/N)’s chairs.

            (Y/N) smiled at their friends—their family. This was their last voyage together. In space, that is. They had dinner plans to “mourn” their return already made (and they planned to make it into a party like the world hadn’t seen before).

            “Captain, that happened a month ago,” said Spock. “Must we harp on it?”

            “Hey, the headlines are coming out now. It’s fresh news,” said Bones, grinning proudly. “And the best news is that they’re not gonna prosecute us.”

            “You mean you don’t want to visit your friends in Rura Penthe?” said (Y/N) innocently.

            Kirk and Bones shuddered.

            “They might as well have prosecuted us. I felt like all those conspirators,” said Uhura. “I didn’t trust the Klingons.” She shook her head, ashamed of herself.

            “Well, they don’t arrest people for having feelings,” said Bones. He paused awkwardly and looked at (Y/N). “Do they?”

            (Y/N) laughed. “No, not at all.”

            “And it’s a good thing, too. If they did, we’d all have to turn ourselves in,” said Chekov, grimacing.

            “Aye,” agreed Scotty. “But I find a couple drinks of scotch alongside a Klingon cleared up my feelings on the matter.”

            “Mr. Scott, that is hardly protocol for diplomacy,” said Spock.

            “Nay, but it’s fun,” said Scotty.

            Kirk chuckled and looked at his beloved, loyal crew. “I think it’s time we got underway.” He sat down in his chair, and his friends smiled.

            “Captain, Starfleet wants to know our flight plans because we are scheduled to be decommissioned in the near future,” said Uhura, scoffing slightly.

            Bones rolled his eyes, and Scotty scowled. Chekov groaned. (Y/N) shook their head and laughed. There was no way they were following that instruction. This was their last adventure. They intended to have fun.

            “If I were human,” began Spock, and everyone looked at him. “I believe my response would be ‘Go to hell!’ ” He paused. “If I were human.”

            The entire bridge grinned and laughed. Spock smiled ever-so-slightly.

            “Course heading, Captain?” said Chekov, grinning widely.

            “Second star to the right, and straight on ‘til morning,” said Kirk, leaning back with a fond smile.

            (Y/N) reached out as the Enterprise flew forward. They brushed their first two fingers against Spock’s. “I love you, my dear,” they said.

            Spock looked back at them and pressed his fingers back in a Vulcan kiss. “I love you, too, T’hy’la.” That was the truest fact he knew.

Captain’s Log: This is the final cruise of the Starship Enterprise under my command. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of another crew. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man, where no one, ...has gone before.

l

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Taglist:

@a-ofzest

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@genderfluid-anime-goth

@groovy-lady

@im-making-an-effort

@unending-screaming

@h-l-vlovesvintage

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@rookietrek

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@snowy-violet

@jaguarthecat

@jac012

[monstermp3]

🍀

[spiritualitygeek]

PAC | Your 2024 In A Nutshell

Disclaimer:

This pac is for entertainment purpose only. I am not liable for any actions or decisions taken or made based on the information presented in the reading. The interpretations and insights are subjective and open to individual perception. Please use your own judgment and intuition when applying the messages to your life or situation. Thank you!

Pile 1

Cards: 6oP rx, QoW, 2oC

With the Six of Pentacles in reverse here, I'm seeing your financial situation hitting rocky roads in 2024. You need to reassess your generosity or be cautious with resources. Refrain from spending or investing thoughtlessly. And most importantly, do not lend money. To anyone be it family or close friends.

Moreover, with the Queen of Wands I see you embodying a strong, charismatic energy, hinting at your ability to take charge and make bold decisions. This is particularly great if you're looking to move out or start a new venture. Or maybe start a new course? Degree? College?

I'm seeing you getting out of your comfort zone and taking charge for doing things that you've been scared till now. Most of y'all might be introvert or would turn 18 this year?

The Two of Cups here indicate deep connection, possibly in relationships or partnerships. Again, I'm seeing you start something new where you'd meet new people and collaborate with them. If you're a student, you'd enrol in college or if you're looking to start new business or anything for that matter. But in my humble opinion, you're gonna find your soulmate this year. It can be a best friend or lover? But you'd surely click with this person like nobody else.

To sum up, in 2024, you may encounter financial fluctuations, urging you to find a balance between giving and receiving. And so, it's highly advisable to approach any challenges with confidence and passion, embracing your leadership qualities. You may as well end up making meaningful connections which are going to last a lifetime. Be it professional or personal.

Stay attuned to your financial choices, ensuring fairness and caution. Embrace the Queen of Wands' boldness to overcome obstacles. Nurture connections, fostering collaborations that bring joy and fulfillment. Remember, balance and confident decisions will be your allies in shaping a rewarding 2024.

Pile 2

Cards: KoW, 6oS, 7oS

In 2024, you're likely to embrace the leadership qualities of the King of Wands, making your way through any situation with confidence. The Six of Swords points to a journey, both physical and metaphorical, indicating positive movement and growth.

However, be cautious of potential challenges or deceptive elements as the Seven of Swords are telling me there are people who are going to backstab you or feel jealous of your growth. When you're growing, and acing it all with confidence and grace, it's natural to attract envy of anyone. Be extra wise and careful with people you keep close. Not everyone has your best interest at heart.

In a nutshell, your year is likely to be a balance of bold decision-making, adaptability during transitions, and a discerning eye to avoid pitfalls. I must say, 2024 is gonna be your year pile 2. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the ride. You're gonna enjoy this one.

Although, it's advisable to trust your instincts always, in the face of your problems and in your connections. Sometimes it's important to keep your guards up against certain people. Regardless, you indeed have what it takes to overcome obstacles and lead yourself towards positive change.

Pile 3

Cards: KoS, 5oP, QoS

In 2024, you're advised by the King of Swords to approach challenges with logic and clear thinking. The year ahead requires you to use reasoning over emotions. Because situations would require it with the five of pentacles here. There may be temporary setbacks, a lot of rocky roads throughout the year, but nothing that can't be managed. You may feel often than once that it's too much. You can't bear it. Or that things never go as you wish. Well, they won't. If I'd be honest. This is why you need to stick to reasoning over emotions, to address financial or emotional concerns better. Just because things aren't going the way you want them, doesn't mean they're going to hit a dead end. There's always a door that leads to a better outcome than what you imagined or wished for. Just stop resisting the best by insisting for good. Because that'd lead you to settle for worse.

The Queen of Swords is here for you to guide you with her decisive and perceptive qualities to cut through any confusion and make informed choices. Take this message to your heart and make your mind right now. You won't give up. You won't complain. You will keep pushing! Because things will get better. And you will get the best if you stop resisting what universe has in bags for you.

Overall, be patient and practical in 2024. The year may not be your best year, but it'll indeed be a stepping stone to the best years ahead. Have faith! Don't be a quitter. Be a fighter.

You can overcome any obstacles with a combination of intellectual clarity and emotional resilience. Utilize your analytical skills, address challenges systematically, and make decisions with a discerning mind. Maintaining a sharp focus and clear communication with yourself will be essential in navigating the year successfully.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my pac. I hope the insights resonated with you and provided some guidance. If you found this helpful, I'd be grateful if you consider following me for more spiritual content and future tarot readings. Wishing you all love, light, and positivity on your journey! ✨

- With love, Snow ❄️

Enjoyed the reading? Tip me here~

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

hey, uh, thank you, that response wasn't what i expected but it was illuminating in a lot of ways. my couple of long-distance friends have told me "you're basically drowning, worry about not dying first" but it didn't really click in the same way without the, like, more abstract and academic modelling around it. not being able to work makes getting a stable floor under me feel pretty daunting, but it's really not going to be productive to focus on anything else until i do, however long that takes. bit of an ouroborous situation when the lack of floor is partially because of chronic loneliness but that doesn't change the underlying concept there, just need to take that as it comes. thank you 👍 currently being mindful of not apologizing for being in your space again, which is a habit i developed on tumblr due to a lot of people having very confusing unspoken social rules about their inboxes, but i do want to express appreciation for you providing said space and giving such a detailed response

💚

In case it helps anon, I didn't draw your attention to those things in the hopes that you would change them (although I was fully aware you might decide to). It is important to have an emotionally/value neutral way to ask yourself "hey what's actually happening to me right now, and WHY is it happening" without judging or shaming the answer right back out of existence. The exercise I had you go through is one I've used before! I learned it in a training I went to for work once about how to talk to people in ways that allow them to identify their own needs and motivations for change without imposing expectation or structure on what the answer should be. I have found that very often doing this leads to the thought for the person I am doing it with "huh. It actually makes a lot more sense why I've been having trouble with change around this now", which was my hope for you here! It sounds like that may be part of what happened. I really like taking trainings like this.

I think people rarely believe me when I say that I have severe anxiety around other people and have lived frequent periods in my life never interacting face to face with someone who didn't live with me, including a few years cumulatively across that lifetime some manner of housebound/wheelchair bound/unable to leave the four square walls that made up my entire life. I hear people often speak of their difficulty with a things as inherent to them, rather than as a conversation between them, their desired outcome, and their available mechanisms. Social anxiety and agoraphobia are enormous barriers! No one could deny that. And to suggest that just because one person could learn the skills needed to overcome it means everyone HAS to is absurd. But to imply that it is unchangeable fact isn't realistic. Everything changes, even the things that never will. Because their context changes, and that means they need to be reassessed and handled differently to reflect THOSE changes. Even if the outcome looks no different, that doesn't mean nothing has changed. If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it happen, the forest still knows the difference.

Change is NOT a quick process. For me, it has been going on 25 years of fairly intensive care, support, and change to find myself somewhere I would call anywhere near healthy. I get to be where I am today because of the other parts of my life that allowed me to speedrun certain skills and awarenesses, and it still took me all the way into my 30s to acheive anything even remotely resembling safety and security. It can feel like everyone else in the world is passing you by when you're going through this process, like if you can't somehow make so much progress in such an amount of time than there's no hope or point in even trying because we'll never catch up. But that just isn't how it works. And I can't convince anyone of that, we all have to learn it for ourselves and in our own way, or it doesn't actually internalize and stick around.

A lot of what I do for work (love my training!) Is simply...facilitate for other people the space in which to learn from themselves how to move through this process, and where they need to end up. I am, always and eternally, honored by the opportunity to witness in this way, as many treasured mentors of mine named when I was learning under them, and as I name for my own students now, there is a powerful and unique connection between you and the people you get to watch grow into their own being. It is like nothing else in this world, and it is more fulfilling to me than anything else I have ever done in this world. I still need to be able to not do it sometimes. And setting this down needs to mean knowing and trusting that someone else will pick up the torch from me and keep running with it. If the torch dies here with me, well. The time will pass no matter what we do so we must keep taking the steps forward that we can until someone arrives to carry the next leg so we can rest.

[theninthdoor]

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[pbandjesse]

I just finished up leaving my first event at the museum. And honestly I think I went right. It was a fairly simple event because it was corporate and it was outside and they weren't inside at all but I think I did a really good job and I remembered where all of the lights were and I mostly remembered which key was which and I think I did a really good job making sure everyone had what they needed.

I was nervous. I didn't feel very good today so I was particularly nervous about that but it ended up being okay.

Some of the problem was that I had some very very strange and intense dreams last night. One of them was about my dad building secret rooms off of our house that had an entire different people group living in them. It was like a shopping mall and also like a dollhouse and it was very bizarre. And I had another dream where nosferrato owned a strip club. I am absolutely taking a shot in the dark and how to spell that word.

So I woke up not feeling incredible. And I knew that we had to leave the house by like 9:30 so I slept until 9:00 but I could have slept longer. I was just tired and uncomfortable.

But we had to get Sweetp to the vet and I knew that that was important so I got myself up and I got dressed. I really wanted to wash my hair but I would wait till tonight. It was a gray and cool day outside. And I was not prepared for that. It became fall all of a sudden and I love it but I did not plan my outfits accordingly. I will have to reassess tomorrow.

I didn't really want breakfast so I just ate the donut that we got yesterday. Which was fine. And sweetp came over to try to steal my milk and we used that opportunity to quickly get him into his carrier. That was the most successful time me and James have ever had getting him in there. Like James is usually pretty afraid of picking sweetie up in that situation but I was like no we got to move fast and we got him in there no problem. And while he cried a little bit he was a good boy. And he didn't cause too much trouble.

We drove to the animal hospital and I really like this one. It has this like very '70s vibe to it that I think is great and the vet is just so nice. Everyone there is so nice. When we got there we only had to wait for a few minutes and the waiting room at first there was two kittens and then there was a very sweet little dog. They were like a English bulldog quirky mix of some kind I think? But they were very sweet. And then a puppy who was a golden retriever who was only 9 weeks old came in and they made bestfriends and it was very cute.

I always love going into the vet because they always tell me how handsome and smart and kind and beautiful and large sweetp is. And it's true. He's a big boy. 16 and a half pounds. And he did a really good job getting his temperature taken even though he hates it and he let them weigh him and it just went really well.

When the vet came in he is the biggest personality and always has so much to tell us and he wanted to know all about where we work and all that kind of stuff and so when he found out we work in a history museum he wanted to tell us all this history about his family and the connections he has to some of the things in the museum specifically his father and grandfather owned a paint factory and they were friends with Dr bunting who invented noxzema. And he had all these great stories and it was awesome. And then I told him that I am pregnant and so he was like let's test sweet pea for a toxoplasmosis and it was going to be expensive but we have cat insurance so we're hoping that we can get some reimbursement for that. And sweet pea got his rabies vaccine and a new little tag that is red which I really appreciated. And they gave us a bunch of information and stuff to read. And he even gave us an $80 flea treatment for free. So kind. I love coming there. He also gave us a handmade cat toy from one of his texts that's made of a golf tee that looks like a little dragonfly. I haven't seen if sweet pea likes it yet but I hope that he does.

They would take sweet pea out of the room to do his shots and take his blood. But they said he looks great and that made me feel really good. And then we packed them up and we paid and headed out.

I was really not feeling good at this time though. I held it together to talk to the vet but I was really like I just need to be horizontal. I had 3 hours until I had to be at the museum and so we went right home and I changed into a sweatshirt and I laid down and it was very good.

I sort of took a half an hour nap and it helped but I would have appreciated more sleep. But because I didn't have time to wash my hair before the museum I wanted to at least round brush it so it looked nice and I got dressed and I actually wore the corset I got at the Renaissance Faire over this dress and I think it looked great and it was very very comfortable. This dress is very cute but the shoulders fall down constantly so having the straps from the corset vest made me very happy.

James had gone to their parents house while I was resting to help take out the air conditioning units and they were back by the time I woke up. They gave me a big hug and we went downstairs and I got myself together. And then I left.

I still didn't feel amazing but my plan was to go to McDonald's and get french fries and a soda because for some reason that fixes me every time. A combination of the caffeine and the salt. And so I went and I got that from McDonald's and I was a little annoyed because it was $4 for a large fry. But I ended up talking to Alexis when I got to the museum and she told me that if you order it in the app it's a $1.50 so now I have the McDonald's app even though I taken that off my phone years ago. But if it's going to save me money I'm going to do it.

So I ate my fries and had my soda and enjoyed sitting in the car watching a video. But eventually I was like oh I should go in the museum now. But I don't have any keys and no one was at the desk and I rang the doorbell twice and no one let me in. I told Merrill and she wasn't working today so then I called Jesse and he told me that Donnell the new maintenance/facilities a director would come and let me in and he did and I was only slightly frustrated that I was sitting out in a drizzly rain.

I felt a lot better though and I was just ready to do my thing. And I think I did a great job. Jesse came down to give me the keys and give me some overview for the evening. Corporate event outside. Atlantic was the caterer. He gave me the times and then I was basically in charge. We ran around a few times together just so that I could have any last minute questions or concerns answered but I felt pretty good. He gave me an alarm code for the building and then he went to his office to work for a few hours.

The museum isn't open on Mondays so It was pretty quiet in there. I would post up at the front desk and wait to see the caters or anybody else. And when they start coming I introduced myself and maybe try had names and they are very confident so I was not worried about them. But I was worried about the rain. It was kind of drizzling and a little windy and I was like I can put the sides down and so I had Phil show me how to use the drill attachment so it would be faster. And I'm really glad I did that because about an hour and a half after I asked if they wanted it and they told me no they were like actually can you please put the sides down it's so windy. And so I would do that. I did twerk my wrist a little bit because the drill was very powerful. But it made it a lot more comfortable for them and it would only get worse so I'm glad that I did it when I did.

I mostly had a chill night. I would knit and hang out the desk and watch a video and chat with Mo the security guard. And nobody was in the museum so I didn't really have to deal with that. I would periodically go outside but then the rain really picked up as the party got started and it was just windy and blustery and bad. I felt really bad that they couldn't hang out inside but they didn't rent the museum. They would use our bathrooms so we had stanchions set up for that but there was not a lot I could do. So I just tried to be a smiling face and I think the people who came enjoyed their food and had the best time they could despite the weather.

It was a crab feast so there wasn't a ton for me to eat but I did get sides again. And I really like the corn on the cob the other day so I got that again and I made a little sandwich with a hot dog bun and had watermelon. And I brought that inside and was soaking wet from walking across the parking lot on the rain so I dried off and I wore James's work fleece that they leave on their chair. But I would warm up and it would be a really nice night. Just a little boring for me but I'd rather that on my first night alone then too exciting.

Because it was so blustery and cold outside the party wrapped up an hour early and so the caters pulled everything together and I started turning off lights and get everything ready to go. And we were out of there by 9:00. I was really proud of us.

Mo kept giggling at me for being so efficient as he kept saying. Getting things locked and lights turned off. But I was ready to go home. And I just pulled up at our home. James made me lasagna and I'm going to wash my hair and I'm really just excited to get some rest.

I took the day off tomorrow. I hope to work on my teddy bear hospital patient and catch up on my temperature blanket. And I really just hope it's a good day.

I hope you all sleep well. Take care of yourself. Goodnight!!

[ticklepinions]

Hi! Hope you're doing well. I just came for advice ig? I saw another blog I follow get a really disturbing ask and it made me really uncomfortable. Long story short it was about the ler being very controlling and domineering. To the point where the "Lee" was getting their boundaries crossed. Idk what my question is exactly just curious on your thoughts?

Heyo. Very long winded answer under the cut. I encourage everyone to read though.

Warning: consent being ignored. Mentions of kink terminology

TL;DR Remember people are human. They aren't just what they can do for you. Their wants and desires are just as important as your own. Communication is key as usual. Be upfront with what you want and expect in the relationship (platonic or romantic). Being ticklish doesn't mean you want to be tickled/teased. If people get angry at you for setting boundaries that is a big red flag, you deserve to have your consent respected.

I think I have a feeling about which ask it was. Yeah. It made me angry. I said it once and I'll say it again.

Being a lee does not mean you're inherently submissive and feminine.

Being a ler does not mean you're inherently dominant and masculine.

Can you be? Sure, but the roles don't need to be boiled down to those specific categories.

I've never actually had a "session" before and I'm sure they're other blogs who have great advice you can check out.

In my opinion, consent should never be crossed. The "Lee" has all the power over their own body. If they say do not tickle me there. Guess what? You're not tickling them there. If they are uncomfortable with restraints or tools, you guessed it, you aren't involving any of those elements.

And people like to, for lack of a better word, groom others into doing what they want to do. They pretend like they want to "help" you get over your fear but really they just have ulterior motives. Lees become nothing but a tool for the ler's pleasure and that is a big red flag.

Alternatively, Lees shouldn't be forcing lers to do things they're uncomfy with.

I get it. Setting boundaries is hard. Especially with people who may push back, sometimes unintentionally. I thought I was a pro at consent stuff but I found out I suck. And it's okay, I'm still learning. I'm a people pleaser so I have a tendency to ignore my own personal boundaries just to ensure the other person is happy. And I try to be mindful of when I get into those moods. Sometimes you really just have to remove yourself from the situation, take a step back and reassess.

As a switch, it is such a problem. I know I have multiple posts of how ticklish I am, but get this:

Being ticklish does not mean I want to be tickled/teased.

I don't like being tickled by people I don't know or can't trust with my body. I am ticklish yes, very much so, but it should be enjoyable for me as it is for you. I've had several encounters with people who just don't respect that. I try my best to communicate that while I may be ticklish, at the end of the day, I am most comfortable doing a majority of the tickling. But I understand. As a switch it's difficult. We all have different needs right? I've messed up before when it comes to trying to sway people into a Lee or Ler mood. It happens sometimes, it starts out as teasy and fun then you realize that you might be coaxing this person (in the wrong way) into a mood they weren't in and didn't want to be in.

Communication is so incredibly important but extremely difficult at times. I find it harder to set boundaries with people I like because I want to keep them so to speak. But guess what!? I (and YOU) deserve relationships (p or r) that revolve around respecting each other's boundaries!

If someone EVER gets angry at you for having a boundary, RUN. That is some major toxic stuff right there. Like ofc, communicate that it's making you uncomfy because a lot of people just don't understand consent (it's actually pretty scary).

And the fact that being a Lee has somehow automatically translated to being submissive has really hurt this community imo. And what does society believe is the epitome of submissiveness? Femininity. Before joining the community I've been a lurker and the shit I have seen yo. Women both trans and cis have been preyed upon by, usually, cis men. People receiving unwanted teasy asks or sliding in their DMs etc. I remember seeing this one butthurt person being like "well she posted a tummy pic she basically asked for it". Like... People really think that. I don't want to open that can of worms but- damn bro.

But anyways back to communication. If you interact with a switch, and you are one yourself, be up front with what you want. An example would be a Ler-leaning switch and a lee-leaning. The ler/lean will have greater wants to do the tickling and the lee/lean will have greater wants to be tickled. If they both agree that they are okay with that relationship, great! However, if the ler/lean suggests they be the one being tickled that's a topic of discussion. Both parties should and must be willing. If the Lee/lean says they don't want to, then they don't want to. It's just important to establish that so people know what to expect ya know? Because one person won't be able to fulfill all your wants.

An example: You'll make friends who like the rougher side of tickles but they can't provide you the gentle tickles that you may crave. So you happen to make friends who are great at gentle tickles. One weekend you make feel like rough tickles the other gentle tickles, and you bounce back with the people who mutually agree with what you want at the time.

Same concept can apply to switches. There are gonna be people where you will win the tickle fights and like that dynamic. There are others where you will lose tickle fights and enjoy that dynamic. Lastly there are people where you will have a stalemate and find joy in that dynamic.

Example Convo between Switches

"So I know you're Ler-leaning, and you know I am lee-leaning"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay with being tickled by me? There are times where I really want to tickle someone and I think you'd be fun to tickle."

"Hmm well I'm not sure, I think I prefer just being the tickler. I really appreciate you asking though!"

"Understandable! No problem at all"

Scenario 2

"*insert teasy words here*"

"Actually I'm not really feeling like a ler today. But I wouldn't mind if you tickled me if you're up for it"

"Oh sure no problem! Same safeword as last time?"

"Yes! Thanks friend"

[what-a-silver-lining]

Sugar and Spooks (But Mostly Just Sugar)

It's Grimmtober 2021!

Day 1: Candy

“Hey, honey, what’re you...” Henry stops his sentence short, making eye contact with Sabrina, mid-bite of her chocolate bar.

The slightly unhinged look in his eldest daughter’s eyes might have clued him in on the situation because he very quickly reassessed the situation.

“Alright. Great talk, honey, see you soon.”

or, Sabrina Grimm isn't a big fan of Halloween, but that doesn't apply to the sugary treats the holiday is known for.

Note: It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything for the Sisters Grimm so bear with me, please! It’s also been QUITE a while since I’ve shared any of my work with the public, much less Tumblr, so that’ll be fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Sisters Grimm and I'm not MB. Just a fan partaking in a fandom even for Halloween :)

Some notes about this series: All the stories take place in no particular order of timeline. We’ll see about that though. It depends on how long I manage to keep this up. Not exactly canon-compliant since it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read the scripture, y’know?

So yeah, Briar’s alive (and whoever else I need for the purposes of the plot, I guess). Okay, I’ve kept you along for long enough, enjoy the first prompt!

--

Sabrina Grimm was not a big fan of Halloween.

Maybe she was, once upon a time, before losing her parents to a cult led by her long-lost grandmother’s magical mirror.

But the Sabrina who dressed up as the Sugar Plum Princess to go trick-or-treating around Manhattan would be very disappointed indeed at the Sabrina who grimaced at the thought of parading around in a silly costume and begging people for candy.

Which is precisely what Sabrina Grimm was doing as her younger sister begged her to take her trick-or-treating later that week.

“Please Sabrina?” Daphne begged, hands clasped together and face on the verge of breaking out into a pout. “Red and I’ve been working all month to figure out the optimus path for trick-or-treating!”

This, Sabrina knows, is very true. She’s had to chaperone a few late-afternoon adventures as the two girls timed each other on how fast they could run through the block to yield the most candy. But trailing behind her little sister and Red on the way home from school is very different from being forced to go trick-or-treating. Besides, she had plans.

“First of all Daphne, it’s optimal . And second of all, isn’t dressing up in Ferryport Landing pointless when half the people here look like they regularly shop at Spirit Halloween?” Heck, most of the people in the town have about a million variations of their likenesses up for sale in party stores around the country.

“But mom won’t let us out later unless we get someone older. She and Basil Jr. are just going to kill the mood if we have to stop before 5 pm!” Oh boy, here come the puppy eyes…

“Dad?”

“He’s too old and grumpy for Halloween.”

“And I’m not grumpy enough for you? Uh, how about Uncle Jake?”

“Already asked him. He said he’s going to a party with Briar. And something about a Monster Mash.”

“Granny? Canis? Snow? Charming?? ” Sabrina was running out of options at this point.

“Granny’s got some errands to run and Mr. Canis is going with her. If Snow takes us she won’t be there to give out giant chocolate bars, and If we ask Charming, then Snow won’t be able to convince him to give out his giant stash of imported fancy chocolate.” As Daphne counted off the options with her fingers, Sabrina felt her chance at a peaceful evening slip through her fingers.

Well… almost.

“What about Puck?” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Sabrina felt the soft halo of victory engulf her.

Fairy Boy was (more or less) the perfect candidate for Daphne and Red’s shenanigans— with the added bonus of keeping the trickster king from pulling any pranks on her in the spirit of the season.

With a quick shout of “You lucked out this time, Sabrina!” Daphne shot up the stairs in search of Puck. Presumably to work out a costume for him. There’s no chance that Puck will be able to say no to the opportunity to possibly pull a boatload of pranks on the houses that give out crappy candy.

Sabrina thinks that she’ll probably regret this decision by the end of the night on the 31st, but she’s mostly thinking about how nice it’ll be not to have to deal with Daphne on a sugar high on Halloween night.

--

And that’s exactly what she finds herself doing on the evening of the 31st. Not dealing with a hyperactive little sister or a prankster fairy boy with access to a million pounds of sugar. Sabrina’s confident she could probably handle Red, but she’s also never seen the Everafter girl eat a pixie stick.

None of that matters at this current moment, however, because by some stroke of luck, Sabrina is the only person currently in the Grimm household.

After double-checking that Elvis and her dad were actually out on their walk and that Puck wasn’t hiding behind any doors with an unpleasant surprise waiting for her, Sabrina let out a breath of relief.

Setting up the TV to one of the more classic seasonal reruns, Sabrina makes her way into the kitchen to retrieve her secret stash of candy. On the very bottom section of the higher shelf, out of reach of Daphne, and low enough to escape the direct view of Puck sits an inconspicuous box of generic raisin bran cereal.

Moving the box of cereal to the side reveals a second box of the same generic cereal box— gotta be careful in case her mom or dad suddenly crave a healthy dose of cereal for breakfast, right?

Again, moving that box of cereal to the side, right there . A box of plain, steel-cut oats remains the gateway between Sabrina and her secret candy stash.

Taking the box of oats with her back to the living room with the television, Sabrina spares one last cursory glance around the room to make sure there were no witnesses to her mini escapades.

The first treat of the night: a peanut butter cup.

Sabrina makes it through half the movie (and most of the peanut butter cups) before she switches to the next delicacy: a decent-sized milk chocolate bar.

As she’s about to take a big bite out of the bar, however, she hears the front door open.

Sabrina freezes, eyes wide as she realizes she’s probably been caught, and now Daphne and Puck are going to eat all her candy, and just after she’d saved up all the candy over the past couple of weeks. All that sneaking just for—.

“Hey, honey, what’re you...” Henry stops his sentence short, making eye contact with Sabrina, mid-bite of her chocolate bar.

The slightly unhinged look in his eldest daughter’s eyes might have clued him in on the situation because he very quickly reassessed the situation.

“Honestly, sweetie, I totally get it. I think Elvis and I should take an extended walk today, hm, Elvis?” The great Dane barked his agreement. “Okay, so we’ll be heading out. Maybe we’ll catch your mother and brother on the way and we’ll pick up some dinner from the diner?”

Silence.

“Alright. Great talk, honey, see you soon.”

And with that, Sabrina Grimm was once again alone in the house, free to stuff her face with discounted Halloween chocolate to her heart’s content.

Gummy bears, jelly beans, Twix bars, gumdrops, even a couple of pieces of candy corn met their demise as Sabrina continued on with the movie just as before.

Candy after candy succumbed to Sabrina’s sweet tooth binge until a decent dent had been made into the stash. As the credits rolled on the cheesy horror film, Sabrina gathered up the wrappers and candy boxes and cleaned up any remaining crumbs on the couch to dispose of the evidence.

Replacing the box of oats behind the cereal boxes in the cabinet, Sabrina silently pats herself on the back for her sneakiness. Just in time, too, as she can hear the sounds of the other kids stomping around by the entrance.

“Sabrina! We’re back!” Daphne calls from beyond the kitchen door.

“Yeah, Grimm! And we’re not sharing our candy with you!”

“...I’ll share with you, Sabrina..” Red’s voice rings, softer than the other two.

As Sabrina walks back into the living room, she sees that the three trick-or-treaters have already begun trading their candy from their trek around Ferryport Landing. True to Daphne’s word, there looked to be a couple of full-sized candy bars, probably from Snow.

The older Grimm sister sits on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t been caught. Her stash was safe— at least for today. She snags a Kit Kat and listens to the three (mostly Daphne) catch her up to speed on everything she missed when the trio had taken off earlier that afternoon.

“So actually, Puck had to do a little convincing for Charming to hand over some of his fancy candy but thankfully...”

So Sabrina Grimm isn’t the biggest fan of Halloween, but she does see the appeal of candy.

--

And that's a wrap for day 1! I know, cutting it super close to the deadline! I can't believe I got Ao3, Tumblr, AND FFN

Speaking of ffn, you can find me at LavenderMoonRose on fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own

[figjelly]

Feb. 26th, 2022

Hello, hello. As alluded to, I’m trying to make more of an effort keeping this blog active as an actual blog and not just a place to reblog trash (still a great place to do that though). I’ve had a lot going on in my life since November. The biggest development is me spending some time reassessing my priorities. I had a really distressing thing happen with one of my partners; it shook me badly. I feel like I handled and am handling the situation well. Much better than if I’d encountered it when I was younger.

Back to my priorities. One of my top tens was to nurture and cultivate spaces that I care for with things that are important to me. I’ve realized that I don’t have a large presence online, especially when it comes to social media. Tumblr IS sort of my main social place for me to be another part of myself that is separate from my real life. I’ve been a part of it for over a decade. It’s been a pivotal part of my growth as a person. I’ve made life-changing connections here. Not only that, but Tumblr was probably the biggest inspiration for me to keep up with my art independently throughout my life AND provided me a way to share my writing when I picked up that past time. 

So, maybe I should think more about how I’m using this space and the people who are watching it and listening to me. I feel like I’m pretty genuine on here (i.e. I don’t really lie or embellish about my life). But I don’t really take the time to share more about myself. I have an instagram and I used to be more diligent about posting art on tumblr as well. As for my writing, ugh. Life. I’m just not sitting down and doing the work. I’ve got so many fics that need updating and so many that I wanna start and so many things that are original I wanna start sharing! 

But also, I’m bad at reminding myself that I’m a human who needs to rest (I work two steady jobs a week, sometimes three if I teach my painting lessons) and I’m in the middle of starting weekly group therapy on top of my weekly individual sessions. Oh, and I guess also I’m trying to study to get my teaching license so I can teach middle and high school math. Which only requires me reteaching myself calculus and some other things :/

Yeah. There’s just a lot and then there’s more on top of that. I am looking forward to updating this blog more. Hopefully, it’ll motivate and inspire me.

As always, <3 Ash

[ootori-sibs]

Kyoya's second shot

Episode sixteen: Boy's night!

Tw: hallucinations (mentioned), suicidal ideation.

10:29 - I haven't told the hosts that I've been grounded, they would likely ask why.

11:42 - Haruhi is taking the day off, almost didn't note this down, due to its obviousness. The hosts are attempting to fill me in on what I missed; they are attempting to claim she was cornered by many more then she was,

And scolding me for not paying attention.

"C'mon Kyoya-senpai, we're trying to fill you in here!" Hikaru whined, frowning at him, "what are you even writing?"

"I am paying attention, what I'm writing is notes on the situation." He rolled his eyes, what was it with the hosts and assuming he wasn't paying attention? Did they not know how he saw everything?

“What were you up to?” Honey had piped up curiously, “when Haru-chan was hurt? Tama-chan said you were busy.”

Well Kyoya couldn’t just tell him that Honey’s own brother was the reason for Kyoya’s absence. So he merely shrugged, “personally, I don’t see why that’s important information,” he also didn’t want to tell them he’d gotten hurt- they would be sure to ask too many questions.

Hikaru had been a bit rude this entire term, and this rule held firm now. He stared at Kyoya in suspicion, tone brash, “well it is important considering how you've been so damn rude to her this whole year!” It appeared he was angry. This was bad news, if one of the hosts doubted him, then it couldn't be too long until the others did as well. So Kyoya would have to quell their fears quickly- he may have to tell part of the truth.

He sighed, glancing down and putting on the expression of sadness. “Well if you’re going to accuse me, and truly believe i’d ever do that, then i am forced to tell you; I was in the hospital, I had sprained my ankle.” Silence fell over the hosts as he said that, eyes going to Kyoya’s ankle. Kyoya glanced back at Hikaru, seeing the instant guilt in the ginger’s face, “I didn’t want to tell you, because I felt it would be selfish when Haruhi required your entire attention.” That’s the kicker, the instan flash of guilt in his fellow hosts’ eyes as they realised how uncaring they’d been.

Tamaki gasped, clinging to Kyoya, "aw noo! Kyoooyyyaaa! That could never be selfish! You should have told us you were injured, we wouldn't have gotten angry or anything like that."

He had always been the sweetest person, Kyoya had to adore him even more in this moment. He just sighed and leant into Tamaki's touch, something he never did. The hosts reacted as he'd expected, surprise and the obvious reassessment of how they'd viewed any and all of Kyoya's recent actions- even Tamaki was surprised, pausing in his big dramatic comforting to wrap his arms around Kyoya gently, he was so warm… why was Tamaki always so warm?

Hikaru had apologized to Kyoya for being so accusatory, and Kyoya just sighed, "it's fine… I understand." He did, he understood, Hikaru was entirely correct.

"Hmm," Tamaki set his chin on Kyoya's head, he was always so clingy but Kyoya had to admit he loved it, "why don't we have a sleepover tonight? Just the boys?" Oh fuck, Kyoya knew that was going to come back to bite him. The other hosts seemed really keen on the idea, nodding and adding fun things they could do. Kyoya absolutely hated the idea of ruining his friends fun, especially if he was finally going to get the quality time with his friends that he'd wanted for so long.

He sighed, pushing Tamaki away. The poor king looked so confused and concerned, Kyoya couldn't look him in the eyes, hanging his head- the light hit his glasses in the wonderful way that hides his eyes. "I'm afraid I will not be able to join you."

"What? Why?" Tamaki sounded so hurt in that moment, but there was so much concern in his tone. Kyoya felt so much guilt as he heard the other boy's questioning.

"I've been grounded…" a heavy breath left his lips, he felt as if he had admitted to a crime, "I won't be able to attend the after-school session either, as father has forbidden extracurriculars for a week."

There was a silence that fell over the hosts, their expressions one of a deep shock- Kyoya never got in trouble, not to this degree at least. Not once before had any of his family been grounded either, the most being Akito getting forbidden from attending certain parties. Kyoya is an utter disappointment, and now the hosts could tell. "What did you do Kyo-chan? Why are you grounded?"

He swallowed in shame, not wanting to explain, he simply sighed, trying to come up with an excuse, "it's… it's nothing, you shouldn't worry about it. Enjoy your sleepover." Kyoya went to stand up, but Tamaki grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Kyoya wait, are you sure there's nothing we can do? If it's nothing then surely you can just talk to him about it? Maybe I can speak to him for you?"

"No!" Kyoya snapped, clasping his hands over his mouth, he never yelled, so the fact that it made him panic clearly showed the hosts that something was wrong, "I… I mean, it's not nothing but I just don't want to talk about such things, it's really not a big deal. Just have your stupid sleepover without me." With that, he yanked his arm away from Tamaki, grabbing his bag and heading to sit and wait in the classroom.

12:23 - The hosts will be having a sleepov Tamaki's being s The hosts know I am grounded and will be unable to join them for any activities for a week.

12:26 - I somehow feel even more alone

He didn't even help with the lunchtime session, ignoring the texts and missed calls. It didn't matter, it wasn't like he was of use anyway, he could do his one job from here. Which was how he spent all his freetime that day: doing the club finances. Tamaki sat next to him in every class, so it was nearly impossible to ignore him and Kyoya had to resort to speaking only when the question asked of him was of academic importance. It hurt him to ignore Tamaki like this, he loved him so much after all- but it had to be done, Kyoya had to keep the hosts from discovering the mess that he'd become.

It wouldn't be permanent anyway, his being a mess. Once he was with Tamaki, everything would get better, the world would be good again. Tamaki was so special, so wonderful, and Kyoya only needed a little bit of love to survive, and he'd fight for it; that love, he'd fight like he'd never fought before. He wanted to kill himself so much, but he promised himself that he wouldn't let that happen, in this moment he swore to himself that he could never kill himself until he had Tamaki.

I refuse to die until I am married.

He'd forgotten to write the date, he always wrote the date. He supposed it didn't really matter as it hadn't been too long since his last entry, only an hour or two. Besides; it wasn't like it was something that had happened in a specific time.

The first thing he did when he got home was breakdown in tears, leaning against the front door and sobbing. He knew this was dangerous; father could come along at any moment. So he got up, and he tried to wipe his tears, heading up the stairs to his room. Once he got up into his room, he broke down again, on the floor and sobbing. He felt horrible, he felt terrible, he couldn't breathe, he was shaking through sobs and gasping for breath. Kyoya managed to drag himself away from the door and to the window, laying down there and just sobbing his little heart out, staring out the window.

He'd never been grounded before, he'd never been such a disappointment in his life. He didn't know what to do or how to handle this, it was entirely new to him. Kyoya was a mess in the moment, tears spilling out in ways it shouldn't be; Kyoya wasn't supposed to be weak, Kyoya wasn't supposed to be a failure, Kyoya was supposed to be just like his brothers and perfect in every way.

He'd been laying there for a while, just crying and wishing he was never born. He had turned his phone off about three hours ago, he wanted to ignore the world for a bit. There was a knock… but it wasn't at his door, it was at his window. Hm, that wasn't where knocks were supposed to come from. Kyoya glanced over and- oh what the fuck? Why was Tamaki here?

"What the… Tamaki??" He sat up, rushing to open the window. He watched as Tamaki climbed in through the window, followed by the rest of the boys. It was certainly a spectacle and Kyoya found himself chuckling at the sight. "Why are you here??"

Tamaki sat up, smiling brightly, "well we couldn't just have a sleepover without you! Since you're grounded, I figured we'd have the sleepover here!"

God… that was the dumbest thing Kyoya had ever heard. He stared at Tamaki for a few minutes, unsure how to react, "are you trying to get me in trouble?"

"Noo! We wouldn't do that to you!" Tamaki clung to him, rubbing their faces together, Kyoya's face went red. "We'll be good, I promise."

Kyoya nodded, "alright then, but you have to be quiet." He stood up, wiping his tears and heading to his bed, were the hosts were gathering.

17:01 - For once, I feel loved.

So the hosts sat quietly around Kyoya's bed, whispering in hushed voices. It was almost fun to hide like this, the hosts almost made the fear fun. They spoke of spooky stories- the perfect topic for such a hushed tone. Keeping the lights off, they spoke of ghosts and ghouls, zombies and other assorted horrors.

When it was Kyoya's turn, he took the torch that was being passed around and took a level breath in. "Recently, only wednesday, Tamaki spent the night at my house," he began, noticing how confused the hosts were, that this story wasn't spooky in the slightest, he almost smiled, "it was after his argument with Haruhi. I had waited for him during it, though that part isn't important. What is important is the fact that I found myself waking up late at night, and whatever had woken me, didn't stir Tamaki in the slightest." He recalled the thing he saw, shivering, "it wasn't a human, it was too tall to be human. It was… almost a shadow with the way it looked, not fully corporeal…" he glanced back up at the hosts, noticing they looked a mix of hooked and concerned, he continued, "it flickered in the sliver of moonlight that came through the curtains, it's eyes gave off more light then that though. It was grabbing at the bedsheets, staring down at us with bright white eyes- I would have woken Tamaki if I had been able to move. It was a horrifying creature, not of this world. It caused no visible harm, but I still believe my story is superior.”

The hosts looked at him in shock, Tamaki's hands were shaking, “is that real? Did you really see it?”

Kyoya paused, god- did that make him sound crazy? He didn’t want the hosts to think him crazy. “N… no, no, it was… just a story. Nothing to worry about.” He smiled, passing the torch along. He was mentally kicking himself for having been so supid, why did he tell them that story? Why didn’t he make something up? Ugh, he was so stupid.

The night continued nicely, with the hosts sharing stories and talking about everything and nothing. For once in what felt like forever, Kyoya felt calm, he felt at peace. Eventually they went to sleep, all curled up on the bed in a big pile. Kyoya was incredibly warm, with his head resting on Mori and Tamaki clinging to his torso, the twins had their legs over his and were snoring quite softly. He was comfortable… he wished this could happen more often.

In the morning, the hosts snuck back out the window, not wanting to get caught. Kyoya woke up alone, colder than when he'd gone to bed. His first thought was that he wished they'd stayed, then he remembered that he was grounded and felt his heart sink. He noticed that the maid's had left him some coffee, but it was out of his reach, and he didn't want to get out of bed… so he just flops down and tries to go back to sleep.

[orionsangel86]

“I Think It’s Time For Me To Move On”

...And Other Things That Have Destroyed Me This Weekend...

So there is this common trope within love stories which generally happens at the end of the second act in which everything goes wrong and we all think that the lovers are doomed to failure. Its pretty much standard in every Jane Austen novel, every romantic film every made, every single bloody love story. Go ahead, name one. I guarantee you the break up moment is there.

Within the epic love story of Dean and Cas, there have been many break up moments, and all have had their emotionally devastating impact on the relationship and the show...

But THIS was a different level. 

(For a nice summary of Destiel break up moments and understanding of this trope, @tinkdw​ wrote about it here.)

I didn’t think that there would be another moment within Dean and Cas’s relationship that could hit me this hard. The mixtape in 12x19, the wrapping of Cas’s body in 13x01, and the return of Cas in 13x05 are moments that I consider to be the very top of the scale in making this pairing undeniably romantic. Moments that pushed it beyond a platonic interpretation. These three moments have been the things I cling to when the show has otherwise made me doubt any conclusion to the DeanCas story, and since there hasn’t been another one of those moments since 13x05, until now I have been somewhat nervous that the story was dropped, or being forced back behind a platonic screen. 

15x03 has ripped that screen away. 

Emotional meta under cut...

This entire episode was an emotion fuelled dramatic roller-coaster that killed off three characters including our beloved witch queen in a scene that almost stole the show and practically canonised the SamWitch ship. Rowena’s death should have been by far the most torturous moment for viewers to endure, and it was extremely torturous and had me sobbing on a plane 3 hours into a 7 hour flight. That incredibly heartfelt moment between Sam and Rowena will probably go down as one of the top tear-jerking moments on this show. It was tragic in the best way - the way Supernatural is famous for.

But lets not gloss over the fact that in an episode where THAT should have been the climax, where THAT should have been the emotional highlight and end point, instead we get a further MORE dramatic stand off between Dean and Cas that pulled focus and ripped all of our hearts out just as violently as poor Ketch in the first act (a very clever and smug piece of meta foreshadowing there Mr Berens).

On a meta level, this is HUGE as a writing choice because they MUST know how this looks. This was the climax of the third episode of the finale season. The way Supernatural has always structured itself since Carver era is that the first three mytharc episodes of each season establish the direction of the story and set the foundations for the character level focal points and dramatic key notes to come. 

That the writers have chosen to end the foundation episodes with a DeanCas break up moment that was more dramatic than a Spanish Telenovela has just stunned me and left me reeling because I just can’t see how else this can go. This break up scene absolutely DEMANDS a huge reconciliation of the sort that will be part of the A plot of the season - the FINAL SEASON. Guys. Part of the reason I have been so quiet and so disillusioned with the show during late season 13 and season 14 was because they pushed any Destiel plot into non existent territory - it became kinda irrelevant and Dean and Cas just acted like friends (homoerotic friends yes, and sometimes like an old married couple, but it was mostly played as an afterthought imo), so for this to suddenly be brought to the forefront of the emotional story again is excellent news for us. 

The thing is, like with those huge moments I listed above, the break up scene is basically undeniably romantic when you break it down to its components:

1. It’s only Dean and Cas. 

Once again we have another scene of high stake emotions that excludes Sam. In a platonic reading of the show, it makes zero sense for there to be such a hugely disjointed relationship between Cas and Dean and Cas and Sam given he has known them both for so long now that if they were all “just friends” then surely Sam would also feel the impact of Cas’s choices as heavily as Dean. In a platonic reading, Dean comes across as an asshole, Sam comes across as being weirdly uncaring about his friend of 10 years, and Cas comes across as not even bothering to get Sam’s opinion before leaving. A romantic reading makes sense because quite literally THIS IS A ROMANTIC BREAK UP.

2. The words spoken. 

“Well I don’t think there is anything left to say.”

“I think it’s time for me to move on”

From Cas’s perspective at least, name one time in a piece of media where such language has been used for a platonic breakup sincerely? There have been heartfelt break up songs that use these exact words. (I should know I’ve spent the last 24 hours listening to them all).

That last line in particular is so heavy. It’s the last line of the episode and nothing about it is platonic. This is relationship terminology my dudes. “I need to move on, and get over you.” This is Cas’s bloody Adele song. My heart breaks for him, but if I was his sassy and fabulous best girlfriend right now I’d be sitting him down, sipping a cocktail, flipping my hair and telling him “Babe, you’re too good for him. Good Riddance. Let’s go out, have some cocktails, something pink and fruity. No dive bars for us darling. I’ll take you to Heaven... the fun one in London.”

In all seriousness though, from Cas’s perspective, this was him admitting defeat and giving up the fight for love. How anyone can possibly say Cas isn’t in love with Dean after this, well I just don’t know what show you are watching. This is the face of a heartbroken man who has just accepted that his love is unrequited. 

3. The many faces of Dean Winchester

On the other end of the scale, Dean was mostly silent after his poisonous words “And why does that something always seem to be you?”

Forgive the terrible gif quality I’ve no time for fancy gif work!

Look at his face here. He knows what he said was fucked up and he immediately regrets it. The way he swallows around that regret and then turns away.

and after Cas says that devastating final line and walks away? We get THIS reaction from him:

The jaw clench as he looks down. The sorrow on his face as he realises he has well and truly fucked this up. LOOK

Finally, he looks up, makes himself look up and watch Cas leave. If that isn’t the face of a broken man I dunno what to tell you. Anyone who thinks Dean is totally heartless and uncaring right now needs to reassess because this is NOT the face of someone uncaring. This is the face of someone who has just lost everything. Again. 

4. The FUCKING MUSIC

Seriously. The sweeping heavy drama of the low strings that come in right after Dean says that horrid line, that carry the weight of the look of horror and heartbreak on Cas’s face as they amplify the emotion there. As they blend seamlessly into the slow and subtle version of the Winchester family theme behind Cas’s heartbreaking speech and Dean’s stubborn stoic face hiding a multitude of emotion, until the violin dominates as Cas says “I think it’s time for me to move on” and the Winchester Theme swells to its climax, ripping all our hearts out just like poor Ketch as Dean watches Cas walk out of his life surrounded by darkness. 

I MEAN.

A friend on Twitter reminded us all of this point about the importance of this theme via @justanotheridijiton​ here which is essentially:

“The Winchester theme is not simply an aural marker to let the audience know when and how Sam and Dean love each other (any Supernatural fan knows that is the baseline of their relationship), but to provide narrative information, especially when the image and dialogue are incomplete or inconsistent with the true situation...  Seasoned fans will recognize the theme and its history of being paired with images indicating deep emotional bonding and a desire to do the right thing by the Winchester code. Here we trust our ears over our eyes to reveal the truth.���

So here is yet another key indicator that any surface read that this is actually an ending between Dean and Cas and that Dean really is just an angry asshole is utter bullshit. 

Honestly, this was PAINFUL, but it was painful in the best way. It was 13x01 levels of pain, but this time it was Cas choosing to walk away which makes all the difference. Dean’s greatest fear isn’t his loved ones dying on him after all, but of his loved ones choosing to leave him. This was exactly the kick up the ass Dean needs in order to win Cas back, classic love trope style. 

Hence my excitement at what is to come. Yes we won’t see Cas again until 15x06, but in the meantime I fully expect a good helping of angst and wallowing from a depressed Dean who has to deal with the fact that he has just lost the love of his life and it is all his fault. That he just pushed away the one person who promised they would always stay by his side. That has got to hurt. 

So yeah, this episode emotionally destroyed me, and I’ve only really covered the primary reason, let alone all my feels over SamWitch, Rowena’s death, Belphegor’s taunting of Cas over his deepest fears and then having to suffer through smiting a creature wearing the face of his son until his body was nothing but a burnt corpse... I wonder if Bobo had a bet going in the office over how much he could hurt us all? He was certainly enjoying scrolling through the Supernatural tag on Twitter and liking everyone’s reaction tweets including some brilliant Destiel related ones. I do love Bobo. Our Angst Goblin King. 

If anyone had asked me a few weeks ago what my thoughts were on the chances of getting explicit canon Destiel by series end, I would have said somewhere in the realms of 30-40%, considering it a battle of wills between DabbBerens and CW studio execs who I still feel are against it in general. I would have considered everything that happened after 13x06 as the writers getting a big NO on Destiel from the network and therefore having to pull back on any Destiel related plot points (purely my own speculation on BTS matters of course).

Now I am wondering if Dabb kept fighting the network? If he managed to wear them down into begrudging acceptance? I’m currently up to around an 80% chance of textual canon DeanCas if we continue on this path. If Dean is clearly shown to be mourning and hating himself over Cas next episode, and if this DeanCas dramatic plot line continues to be a focal point of the emotional story arcs... well...

I’m side eyeing 15x07 a lot right now. Only in my wildest dreams would I think that they might actually introduce an old boyfriend for Dean in a “coming out” episode, but the placement, timing, and potential is all there and I’m kind of once again donning the clown mask because I’m just in awe at everything that they are doing. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. In the meantime, I’m gonna paint my face in red and white and wear my rainbow wig and listen to break up songs on Spotify whilst trying to shove my heart back into my chest where Bobo Beren’s gleefully ripped it out with his hands like the demonic angst goblin he is. Wish me luck, I’m not sure I’m gonna get through this season with my emotions intact.

[tsuki-chibi]

Blueberry Peach (Adrien AUGreste) Part 4: Chocolate chip cookie

Or read it on AO3: Blueberry Peach

Also find the other parts of the series AO3: Fruitful verse

--------

The next morning, Marinette actually climbed out of bed a whole hour before her alarm went off - in other words, a whole two hours before she usually scrambled out of bed. Adrien was a quiet, slumbering presence in the back of her mind as she got dressed and packed up her school bag. She scooped a sleepy Tikki into her purse and made her way downstairs, where she found her maman in the kitchen.

"Hi Maman. Are you feeling better?" Marinette asked.

Sabine smiled at her. "Much better, but where do you think you're going this early?"

"Um... to school? To finish my project with Chloé?" Marinette lied, holding her bag up as proof and hoping that her maman wouldn't ask too many questions. Technically she was still supposed to be grounded for having gone out while Zombizou was attacking the city, but sometimes, if she was very lucky, her parents would forget about her punishments if they got too wrapped up in the bakery.

"What kind of project is this?" Sabine asked suspiciously.

"It's a presentation," Marinette said, edging towards the door. "I'm going to be late, Maman. You know what Chloé is like. I really don't want to make her mad this early."

Sabine didn't look convinced, but she nodded. "Alright. Take some pastries with you for breakfast. Maybe they'll help you butter Chloé up."

"Not likely," Marinette said wryly, slipping some shoes on. The only thing that seemed to have warmed Chloé up was the fact that Marinette was Adrien's soulmate, and that Adrien was fiercely protective of his lady. Chloé was too scared of losing Adrien to keep up her vendetta against Marinette. It would've been easy to be spiteful or petty and put some cracks in Chloé's and Adrien's relationship, but Marinette didn't want to do that. Adrien had too few friends as it was, and Chloé was - sort of - not too bad of a person once you got to know her better.

She headed downstairs to the bakery kitchen and received a box of half a dozen croissants from her papa. Marinette tucked the box under her arm as she made her way outside and ducked into an alley. Tikki emerged from her purse as Marinette set down her bag and started reorganizing her things to make the box fit inside.

"Are you taking those to Master Fu?" Tikki asked.

"God no," Marinette said, shaking her head. "He doesn't deserve them."

Tikki sighed. "I don't disagree, but..."

"But?" Marinette looked up at her kwami. It warmed her heart to see Tikki floating there.

"The guardian of the miraculous is an important figure," Tikki said slowly, as though searching for the right words. "He could make life very difficult for you and Adrien."

"He can't take our miraculous away again," Marinette said sharply.

"No, I don't think he would. He's learned his lesson in that respect," Tikki said, and she sounded a bit smug.

"I get where you're coming from, Tikki. But I'm not going to bow down to someone who doesn't deserve my respect. And so far, Master Fu has just made bad decisions. First he took our miraculous away and then he gave my miraculous to Lila. Lila! Of all people!" Marinette huffed, snapping her bag shut. "I'll be polite, but that's about all he's earned."

Her ire was enough to wake Adrien, who startled awake and thought, 'What? What's wrong? Akuma?' in a half-asleep daze.

'No akuma. Just having a chat with Tikki,' Marinette thought, pushing aside her frustration. She felt guilty for waking him up, which of course Adrien picked up on.

'It's fine, My Lady,' he thought, muffling a yawn. 'Though I do have to wonder what you're doing awake so - ah, you weren't kidding about interrogating Master Fu.'

'Damn straight I'm not,' Marinette thought back.

"You're right," Tikki said, drawing Marinette's attention back to her. She was smiling. "I'm proud of you, Marinette. You've grown up a lot."

"Thanks Tikki," Marinette said, touched. "Does that mean you'll let me transform and take the quick way to Master Fu's?"

Tikki pretended to think about it. "Well..."

"Come on. There's four chocolate chip cookies up for grabs," Marinette coaxed.

"Deal," Tikki said instantly.

"Great! Tikki, spots on!"

Ladybug took her yoyo from her hip and threw it up at the top of the nearest building; it snagged and jerked her off her feet, hauling her up onto the roof. She headed for Master Fu's house as Adrien, yawning, crawled out of bed and into his computer chair. They both had homework they hadn't finished, so Adrien started working away at it. Though his attention definitely started to wander when Ladybug landed outside Master Fu's shop and slipped through the - surprisingly unlocked, given the early hour - front door.

"Master Fu?" she called out, and a small, familiar form emerged from the hallway.

"Good morning, Ladybug. It's nice to see you again," Wayzz said politely.

"Hello Wayzz," Ladybug said with a smile. She looked at the kwami for a moment, then added, "Say, Wayzz, when you transform with someone, what kind of power do they get?"

Wayzz didn't seem surprised by the question but answered readily. "As the kwami of protection, I offer my holder the power of protection. Typically, their weapon is a shield. When they use their power, it generates a spherical green force field that is almost impenetrable. It can be expanded to cover a large distance, or contracted to -"

"Wayzz!" Master Fu said sharply as he entered the room.

"Hello, Master," Ladybug said coolly as Wayzz went quiet. "I asked him."

Master Fu frowned at her. "That information is private, Ladybug."

"But you said you wanted me to become the guardian someday, so I need to know," she countered, crossing her arms.

"I said that you were a potential candidate," Master Fu replied. "Not that I had completely made up my mind. Certain factors have recently made me reassess your suitability."

'Ouch,' Adrien thought.

Ladybug clenched her fists. "That's ridiculous,” she said, feeling a bit like Chloé. “Just because Chat can hear what I’m thinking doesn’t change anything! I’m still just as capable as I was before!” She didn’t understand why he didn’t want Chat knowing these things, but it was really pissing her off.

“It’s more complicated than you realize,” said Master Fu, which she didn’t think was true at all.

‘Tell him you need to know because of battles,’ Adrien thought.

“We need to know about the different miraculous because of battles,” Ladybug said. “We got lucky this time. The Bee was exactly what we needed. But it might not have been, and we can’t waste precious time during a fight explaining the situation to you and letting you pick out the miraculous that works best. It would be much more efficient if you’d explain it now.” She stared him down, daring him to argue.

“She has a point, Master,” Wayzz ventured. “During akuma attacks, time is of the essence.”

Master Fu sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “Will Chat Noir be joining us?”

“Yeah, he will,” Ladybug said firmly.

‘I will?’ Adrien thought.

‘I want him to know he’s telling the both of us,’ Ladybug thought.

‘… I can be there in five minutes,’ Adrien thought.

“He’ll be here shortly,” Ladybug added.

“Very well. This way.” Master Fu stepped aside to allow her entrance to the back part of the shop. Feeling like she’d earned them a victory, however small, Ladybug walked back as Chat jumped out the window of the mansion and started heading their way.

[purelafemme]

Part 4 of Self Reflection 2020

16. What got in the way of your success? 

I would not say anything in particular really got in the way of my success. Sure some things did not go as planned this year but I still made some great strides in my professional and academic career. I would say though that the pandemic interrupted my productivity levels over this year, but I needed the rest anyway and this global pandemic is unprecendented. 

17. What would you do differently if you could? 

It’s hard to say what I would have done differently if I could. The main thing looking back on this year that I would have liked to change is having more faith in God when he was working out those two situations for me regarding my job and relationship. I had so much anxiety and fear during that time and was allowing my self-doubt to creep in. I also wish I would have appreciated my final semester at Harvard a bit more than I did because now hat time seems so long ago and I miss some of the friends and connections I made there. 

18. How are you different than a year ago? 

This year gave me the space to really get into myself more-- a concept that is vital for me as I am becoming more intentional about the kind of woman I want to be. This year I really got to tap more into my artistic and entrepeneurial side a bit with my business, and reach an important weight loss goal. I am just in a much better mental space this year with being more clear about what I want and who i want to become. I have grown into consciousness this year and I am ready to make important strides to take the steps neccessary to getting to where I need to be. 

19. What did you do for your physical and mental health? 

i started going to therapy again in the beginning of the year, which was a vital experience for me and really gave me the space to work through some of my anxieties with making a big transition, dealing with the pandemic, stressing over the future , how I show up in relationships, and working through my relationship traumas, It also taught me how to advocate for myself. I also once again appreciate Amber for inspiring me to hire a trainer and really hone in on nutrition and making critical progress on my wellness journey. 

20. Who or what had the biggest impact on your life this year?

The pandemic has had the biggest impact on my life this year of course because it disrupted the flow of life in such a major way and caused a bunch of uncertainty. Of course I am blessed beyond measure that no one in my family has been deeply affected or has passed away from the virus but all in all life has been not anything I expected and has affected the quality of my job, the level of motivation I have, my living situation, my social and professional interactions. But it has actually positively affected my finances, gave me the time to slow down and get some much needed rest, and of course to pause and reflect, and reassess some areas of my life. 

[rosesloveletters]

Hi Rose🌻🌹

I hope it's okay for me to reply to you this way, and I hope I'm not annoying you with this😅 I just wanted to thank you appropriately for your lovely and thoughtful comments on my last post. They really made me cry and think🥺 But in a good way, I guess it's good to let the emotions out sometimes. You have no idea how much you and your kind words mean to me💓💓 I am so endlessly grateful to you and your support! I love you so much!💛🧡

I'm sorry for being so negative. I've been in a really bad mood lately because of my anxieties and worries about uni, but also because the heat is getting to me health-wise. I'm sleeping poorly and struggling with headaches and now with an earache too. And it's just a bad habit of mine that when I don't feel good, I pull away from others. Especially from J. I feel unworthy, like the biggest failure. But self-shipping is supposed to help me, right? So I guess you're right. I should let J help and love me (in his own way), especially now when I need him. I really have to pull myself together and look at things a little more positively.

(God, I apologize for bothering you with my personal stuff and for being so whiny😔)

But more importantly, how are you doing, darling? How is everything? I hope things are going well for you and you're taking care of yourself. Are you spending lots of quality time with your Jakob and Will?🥺 And hopefully with J and Pat too?❤️ Also, please know that if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here for you. Or if there's anything else I can do for you. You mean the world to me and I hope I can give you back the same love and support you give me! I love you so much and I'm thinking of you!💛🧡

Hi Sue!🌻💛✨

It is more than alright for you to respond to me this way, darling, whichever is most comfortable for you is always okay with me! You are most welcome (though you do not need to thank me; I'm always happy to make sure you know how lovely and amazing you are!) I hope you are feeling better now, darling, and I'm so pleased to know I could bring a little relief from the situation and how you were feeling. It is good to release those pent up emotions from time to time; keeping them all bottled up isn't healthy. Though I recommend finding healthy and positive ways to release those emotions and it sounds as if that is exactly what you have done and I am so proud of you! Thank you for saying so darling; you mean just as much to me🌻💛 I love you very much too - I am grateful to call you a very good friend💛

There is absolutely no need to apologize; you are completely valid for feeling the way that you are and there is nothing wrong with feeling any kind of emotion. Humans are able to feel emotion for a reason and you should never feel bad or guilty for experiencing them. The difference is whether those emotions cause us to react in negative ways or not; we must always keep ourselves in check and react appropriately regardless. You are a very lovely person and I know you always respond appropriately to how you are feeling, so there is nothing wrong with that darling. Let yourself feel, expel the bad emotions and then let yourself heal from them. I empathize with you completely, because I respond in the very same way whenever I do not feel good. I restrain myself and pull back from those most important to me. I think that perhaps you are needing a break, darling. I sense that you need some time to yourself; give yourself a breather and do something for you and only you. Have your favorite comfort meal or watch your favorite comfort show or listen to songs that put you at ease. Give yourself the space you need and with time you will come back to yourself. I have found, at least in my own experience, that giving myself a break from the fast pace of the world usually gives me the chance to build up enough strength to reenter it all. I hope that you can get your earache under control - those can get very painful and I sincerely hope you're feeling better now💛

You are exactly right, darling. I have always said this but I would like to re-iterate (and I mean this in the nicest way possible): if self-shipping/the way in which you self-ship is hurting you, then you are doing it wrong. In my opinion, self-shipping is meant to be an all-around positive thing and it should not hurt you or upset you. I don't mean feeling the way that you are, darling, because we all get insecure from time to time. I simply mean that, if we are using our self-ships as a means to make ourselves or others feel worse, then it is time to reassess. J loves you very much, darling, even if he doesn't say it conventionally. You are allowed to view J's character any way that you want; your own opinion on the character is not hurting anyone and therefore there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. You are valid and so are your thoughts and opinions. J loves everything about you and he is rooting for you; he knows and understands how much you are stressing and he would want to take you away from those things and have you let loose with him a while. I promise you that these negative feelings will pass, darling, if you give yourself proper time to process and heal from them.

(There is no need to apologize, darling! Please don't feel like you are bothering me, I am always here to help any way I can💛)

Thank you very much, darling! I am doing very well💛 I went blueberry picking this morning and I was so much fun getting out early and being beneath the sun and listening to the birds chirping. I love that sort of thing; it always calms me. I've been kept quite busy with Jakob and Will. They've always got things they're wanting to do and adventures they want to go on, but I have kept them mostly to myself these days. If I do not keep Will and Jakob from the world, then who knows what they'll go out and do lmao. Their friends are chaotic enough so they don't need any more! J stopped in to check on me the other day and I was grateful to him for that; he keeps Pat safe and loved while they are not with me and I love that about them🥺

Thank you very much, darling, the same goes for you if there's ever anything that you need or would like to talk about. I'm always here for you🌻💛 you give back to me in so many ways already darling, thank you for sending this ask in and I apologize for the length of my response😅 I love you very much; please take care and know I'm sending you lots of love and good vibes.

[ernmark]

Man in Glass (pt 1) reactions

Spoilers under the cut.

I love that the season started with yet another fakeout, with Juno starting a typical monologue and then Peter promptly telling him to shut up and taking over as the narrator.

The thing about narrators is that they can be difficult, and it can be really easy to fall into the trap of using the wrong narrator just because they’ve been appropriate up until now.

In my experience, the best narrators for a given story are often the ones who are competent and present enough to be able to convey what’s going on, but also are at enough of a disadvantage to have actual conflict and tension. And I think that, up until now, that made Juno an excellent narrator even when he wasn’t the protagonist of a given story.

But when last we saw Juno, he was probably in the best place that we’ve ever seen him. He’s taking the effort to grow and improve himself (which, while important, is full of so many itty bitty checks and reassessments that it gets a little tedious to see in person), but he’s also left an altogether toxic environment and entered one where he’s surrounded by people who trust him and are good at communicating with him (Vespa aside). And you could hear it in his voice in that opening monologue—he’s more confident and at ease than he’s ever been.

And sure, Kevin and Sophie could yank him out of that and shove him into more trauma, but that’s exhausting. So Juno has a fairly low-stakes mission, very reminiscent of Midnight Fox. Our lady needs a break (and, apparently, a really kickass ball gown).

Enter Peter Nureyev.

Peter’s got conflict coming out his ears right now. Apparently he’s in debt up to his eyeballs (over what? to whom?), he’s dealing with some major resentment and animosity toward Juno (despite being very obviously besotted over him, which is beautifully complicated), and he’s trapped in a situation where he depends on Juno to vouch for him in order to keep this job that he so desperately needs.

And oh my god, listening to Peter’s voice is a delight. There is just so much going on in there, and I love it, especially with how profusely he compartmentalizes. This man is a ball of overconfidence and anxiety, and he keeps folding up his every spare thought and filing them away, and that leaves a sea of ideas and reactions half-thought and pushed aside. And did I mention conflict? Because that’s all his head is. It’s in the mix of love and disdain for Mag every time he brings up Mag’s teachings. It’s in the way he describes Juno—with derision, with seething jealousy, with longing, with trailing thoughts that are suddenly cut off before he can finish thinking them. (My god, he’s got it bad. I love this so much.) He’s pissed as hell with Juno—and rightfully so—but he has to make an active effort not to be drawn in again. This time it’s Juno who needs to charm him. Also, it’s so wonderful to finally hear exactly what about Juno draws him in. And I think that largely it’s his sincerity—he’s real in a way Peter tries so hard not to be, and Peter seems to both hate and adore that about him.

And I think that’s exactly why this mission is happening, in-universe. Because Buddy is a good, solid leader, and she knows how to handle Juno to bring out the best in him, and how to read him. Even if Vespa hadn’t pointed it out, I don’t think she missed the fact that Juno and Peter used to be romantically involved. The tension is too palpable for that, and Peter’s disdain is too one-sided. She knows Juno wouldn’t ordinarily put up with that. Also, Juno choking on his coffee at the first (deliberately placed) implication that he and Peter were sleeping together was a pretty big giveaway.

So naturally, she forces them to work together right off the bat. She puts Juno in a pretty dress and makes sure he’s the belle of the ball, makes the two of them play happy newlyweds, and lets the chips fall as they may. If this mission ends with the tension dissipated and the two of them in bed together, fantastic. If they don’t make up, but they manage to pull it off and work well together despite the obviously uncomfortable circumstances, then that’s great, too. But if they prove entirely incapable of working together under stress, then that tells her everything she needs to know. And my money says that Peter would be the one to get the boot. Juno’s got proven results with everybody else on the crew, sans Vespa. Peter is entirely unproven, and it would be significantly faster and cheaper to find someone new than to try to overcome that kind of bad blood.

It is a superb strategy. I wholeheartedly approve.

And I love that this situation—which, like I said, I feel was engineered on Buddy’s part to create conflict—is taking something that would ordinarily be extremely straightforward and making it complicated. Yes, Juno got bored and acted stupidly. That’s undeniable. But that could easily be worked around if Peter had deigned to actually engage with him, rather than shove him into a corner on a fool’s errand. If he’d let Juno get a word in edgewise, he might have had an incredible advantage in the auction. Instead he shot himself in the foot with his own jealousy and hurt.

And let me reiterate here: Peter has every right to feel hurt. Juno was an absolute asshole the last time he saw him, and Peter is entitled to the pain he’s feeling. It makes sense that he wants to curl up in his shell and refuse to depend on anyone else for anything ever again. But this is not the time or the place to indulge that impulse, and if he’s not careful, it’s going to cost him his spot on this pirate crew.

And for once, Juno is the one reaching out. He’s trying to start conversations with Peter. He wants to talk about what’s hanging between them. He’s trying to make amends. This time it’s Peter who needs to accept the compassion he’s being offered.

 My predictions:

“The Man In Glass” doesn’t refer exclusively to Peter. I think there’s another person (or object?) that fits that description. My money says it has something to do with what happened to Nova a year ago, when she was robbed.

Nova isn’t nearly as wealthy/powerful as she pretends to be. Giving herself access to everyone else’s money means she can tamper with it somehow. Also, she was way too nervous about the bidding for the map. Maybe she promised it to someone in particular? Maybe they were supposed to win it in the auction, but Juno outbid them too quickly, so she had to take drastic measures?

Juno is gonna get chummy with Nova and “lend” her Peter. I suspect he’s going to request the map in exchange, but she’ll refuse, and Peter will accept whatever terms she gives instead on the premise that he can steal it out from under her nose. Bonus points for the chance to make Juno as jealous as Peter obviously is.

Peter’s going to keep insisting on doing everything by himself and dig himself in progressively deeper until Juno gallantly comes to his rescue and sweeps him off his feet. This is going to start the ball rolling on Peter trusting Juno again, but it won’t mend things between them. Not by a long shot.

Nova finds the man of her dreams, and he turns out to be none other than Cecil Kanagawa. Possibly Juno even introduces them.

[efrmellifer]

Telling the Bees

“Telling the bees is a traditional European custom in which bees would be told of important events in their keeper's lives, such as births, marriages, or departures and returns in the household.”

This was the idea I had. Several of them. I remembered!

I.

Her time on the First had affected Etien’s process of waking up. She was more aware now of the ambient environment before she even opened her eyes.

Smells—well, there were other reasons she was more sensitive to smells now, but still—hit her while she stayed silent, stationary, eyes closed. No sharp nose-stinging Sin Eater smell, nothing floating on an eternal Crystarium wind, just the familiar scent of wood smoke and a comforting, light birch-and-parchment fragrance.

Combined with the warmth that surrounded her, Etien knew that when she opened her eyes, it would be to see her home.

And indeed it was. As her eyelids lifted, it was to Aymeric brushing back a lock of her hair from her eyes.

“Well, good morning, ser,” she said with a giggle. “You’re up a little early.”

“I am. I was thinking.”

“Oh? What about?” She moved to sit up.

Aymeric gestured for her to stay lying down. “Please, stay in bed. You weren’t going anywhere, were you?”

“Well, the construction of the Abacus—”

“...will continue without your contributions, my dearest.” He leaned across the space between them to kiss her forehead. “You’ve saved Ishgard already, you can let other people fix her up.” He gave her a sweet smile. “After all, you have your own hard work to do building new living beings.”

Etien looked down at her stomach, even though there was still nothing there to see. “I suppose. Am I barred from the Diadem completely?”

Aymeric thought, gaze sliding from Etien’s face to the corner of his eyes. “No, not completely. But please make those excursions short.”

Etien nodded. “All right. So what was it that you had been thinking about?”

Now he cleared his throat, a look of slight frustration coming over his face as he returned to the problem he’d been turning over in his mind while Etien slept. “How we’re going to… break the news. We were quick to announce the engagement. And we were very publicly married; three-quarters of the city was there. But this one is rather more sticky.”

Etien tilted her head. “Is it?”

“Unfortunately. Pregnancy is a rather quietly conducted affair in Ishgard. Not for shame reasons—well. Shame certainly can play a role in the hushed nature. You heard the story of Hilda’s mother. But mostly it’s the climate. Nearing ten years of constant winter is harsh, but the dragons were harsher. Even if the Temple Knights are always itching for ranks to be filled, best not to get our hopes up. Though, we have no need to fear dragons now. Thanks to you, I might add.”

Etien sighed. “I see.”

“It’s early yet, is all,” Aymeric said in an attempt to soothe her. “Though, in my opinion, that is no reason for us not to tell our nearest and dearest the good news. Which leaves us with two main concerns: Lord Edmont and Estinien.”

II.

Estinien let himself in, like he usually did, and wasn’t very surprised by the sight of Etien perched on the loveseat like she usually was, but there was something off about it.

It didn’t feel wrong or bad, just different in a way he couldn’t put his finger on.

He shed his coat, though, hanging it by the door by Etien and Aymeric’s everyday outerwear, and then made his way back to join Etien, sitting down.

“Do you want coffee, Estinien?”

“Not if you have to go to trouble for it.”

The way Etien’s eyelids lifted, as if in shock, only added to the mystery of the situation, but as she stammered her way through an “I— well— all right. But don’t hesitate to ask,” Estinien was already settling again.

“Is everything all right?” he asked her. “You have this air of frisson, and I’ve followed you into situations much more dangerous than this.”

She swallowed, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. “Everything is fine.” She took a deep breath, then gave him a smile. “I’m not trying to worry you, I’m sorry.”

He sat back in his chair.

Aymeric came into the room then, carrying a tray. He greeted Estinien, then put the tray down on the table and started unloading it.  First, he placed down the pot of rooibos tea in front of Etien, and she smiled again, thanking him.

As Aymeric kept working, Estinien commented with a little snort,“One would think you were the viscountess by birth, and him your humble servant-come-lover arrived from the Shroud.”

Etien giggled. “I promise you, I don’t ask him to do this. I’m certainly not about to kick these shoes off and use him as a footstool or any of that nonsense. No, he, uh—well, he does it because of what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“We’re…” Her ears flattened. “I’m expecting.”

“Why the nerves? It’s not mine, is it?”

She choked on her tea just as Aymeric sat down next to her, setting a hand on her back. She lifted a hand to signify she was okay, but he didn’t remove his hand, just rubbed her back as she started to speak.

“There’s no way of knowing that until they’re born,” she said, playing with the handle of her teacup. “And the likelihood of it is down to calculations, I think. Not something I thought much about.”

“Nor should you, really. I forget sometimes how you respond to even light jests when you’re already on edge.” He glanced down to the teapots, then up to Aymeric. “Might I have a cup of that?”

He poured Estinien a cup of tea, laughing softly (as he always did) when Estinien’s nose crinkled after the first sip.

“I still don’t understand how you two drink this,” he grumbled into the delicate china.

Etien giggled before taking another sip of her tea. “Even before now, my hands shake if I have too much, which is dangerous in my line of work.”

“A line of work that surely you’ll be temporarily removed from?” he asked, eyebrows lifting.

“Well, yes,” she responded with a sigh. “Can’t say I’ll miss all of it. But I will be taking a break. Aymeric is going to be making sure of it.”

“Good. Someone has to keep you still for five minutes.”

“You know, I do miss Ishgard when I’m not here. I’ll enjoy the break, and getting to be here for longer than a moon at a time.”

“So long as we’re all happy about this.”

“Are we?” she asked, inner corners of her eyebrows pitching upwards.

Estinien rose from his seat, coming to a knee in front of her. With a grin that indicated the slight degree of sarcasm, he took her hand. “Mistress Mellifer, or Lady Borel, if you prefer—” he laughed when she flustered— “I’m thrilled for the two of you.”

III.

There was an almost amusing degree of awkwardness as Etien and Aymeric sat down in the foyer of Fortemps Manor.

Still, this took much less bravery than confronting the Archbishop had, or facing the True Brotherhood of the Faith.

So, hands entwined, both with palms sweating, they delivered the good news to the grandfather-to-be.

“Lord Edmont...er, Father. We have some news for you,” Etien began.

He sat down, keen to hear what they had to share with him. “News from the two of you? That is nearly a guarantee of something exciting.”

“A little more exciting for us and our family, to be sure,” Aymeric agreed. “In any event, we came to tell you that in a matter of moons, the family is going to be growing. We aren’t sure yet by how many. Apparently, it’s difficult to gauge the size of Miqo’te litters until much later in the pregnancy.”

A long pause extended between the two couches. As the seconds ticked by, Etien sank her teeth into her lip as she waited for Edmont’s reaction. She didn’t harbor any fear of a negative reaction—that would be highly irregular compared to everything up to this point, to begin with—but she was hoping this surprise wasn’t too much to take in.

He beamed. “Oh, how wonderful! I did wonder when this day would arrive, and it has so much sooner than I dared to hope. I take it you’ve been confined to Borel Manor for the foreseeable future, barring any emergencies?”

Etien laughed. “Not quite. As far as I’m aware, I’m still allowed to take some light travel for a little while longer, and then be reassessed later on. Then I will be corralled into Ishgard, if not the house, until my due date. Whenever that ends up being. Hard to calculate now.”

“My goodness, you really do set out to break every barrier put before you, don’t you?” Edmont asked, fondness in his tone. “Forging peace, righting wrongs committed years to a millennium ago, and now as always, defying the odds. I must admit, I half-expected you to be out there working to rebuild the Firmament by yourself.”

“She did nearly attempt to start that the other day,” Aymeric said dryly.

“Ah. Well, no surprise there.” He laughed. “Help Halone out a little as She keeps you, and take things at a speed slightly slower than breakneck, just this once. For all of us.”

Etien let her eyes shut as she nodded. “I will.”

IV.

When Feo Ul had promised that there was always the realm of the dreams, they had been completely serious, and Etien was glad of it. They happened to come for a visit, all bubbles and brightness, on a night where she had been struggling to fall asleep.

“Feo!” She cried, wrapping them up in a hug. “You have impeccable timing.”

“And you do not, my sapling. I’ve been trying to get into your dreams for ages! What kept you up so late? What burdens your heart?”

“Oh, physical discomforts,” she sighed. She’d been doing a fair amount of sighing again. “Just hard to get rest now, I suppose.”

“Shall I have Thon Sul see what they can do for you? As long as we remain here in the dream realm, you’ll have sweet, peaceful sleep, but if getting here is what’s giving you trouble…”

“I don’t know if they can help me. They certainly can’t—Feo, there was something I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh? Have you taken an especially eventful journey you wish to tell me of?”

“Well, I haven’t taken it yet,” Etien said. “But I wanted you to know. The fae like to be kept apprised of these sorts of things, don’t they?”

Feo Ul’s eyes lit up as their expression grew even more keen. “What new path is my ephemeral flower about to embark upon? I stand ready to bestow my blessings!”

She smiled. “Thank you, Feo.” She took a deep breath. “I’m—”

“Oh, don’t tell me!” They chirped, fluttering around her. “You do have that glow.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” Etien replied with a laugh.

“Good, because it’s true. Already you wear the mantle so well. As you wore those placed upon you in your time here.” They paused, looking her in the eyes. “Remember what I told you, about the moment and place you’re in. From what I hear, it goes by fast for you mortals.” They floated lower than Etien’s eye level then, laying their hands just under her breastbone. “I can’t make a pact with them like I did with you, but they’re just as blessed by the fae.” With a nod, they rose again, gazing into Etien’s misty eyes. “Oh my sapling, you have no idea how glad I am those are tears of joy. I worried so when you cried before.”

Etien wiped at her eyes. “What cause would I have to cry now, Feo? I have the best of the worlds here at my fingertips, at the fringes of my mind.”

“And here we’ll remain,” they assured her. “Now, get your rest. You’ll need it for your new adventure.”

With a light sigh, Etien did as she was told, mind eased by the dream spun around her, and the dreams she had coming true.