#actually pulling the trigger at this point

[winchesterwild78]

An Unexpected Friendship pt 6

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: language, injury, hospital stay, angst, mention of masturbation and pornography

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter is a bit of a roller coaster. You all know how I like to sprinkle in some angst. Please enjoy. 😀

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

Jensen was true to his word. He would call and FaceTime every night. He had only been gone about a week and I was missing him like crazy. After the kids said their good nights and I got them in bed I called him back. 

I crawled in our shared bed as he sat on his couch in his trailer. “I miss you so much, Y/N. I wish I was laying in that bed with you right now.” I smiled softly, trying to hide the pain I was feeling. I missed him too. When the kids were awake everything was fine, but when the house was quiet, that was the time I missed him the most. 

“I miss you too, baby. Just a few more weeks.” I smiled. “How’s Jazzy doing? She looked a little sad tonight.” Jensen asked. I sat for a second trying to choose my words carefully. How could I tell him she was still missing him to the point she would lay on the couch in his office. I’ve found her in there almost every morning, sleeping in a ball clutching Braveheart tightly.

“She’s still adjusting. I promise she’ll be okay.” I couldn’t look at the screen. I didn’t want him to see the tears that pricked my eyes. Jensen noticed, though. “Darlin’, please talk to me. You can’t even look at the camera. What’s going on?” 

I took a shaky, deep breath, “She just misses you so much. Hell, we all do. I’ve found her in your office the past few mornings. She sneaks in there at night and sleeps on your couch with Braveheart. When I asked her why, she said it’s to be close to you. I’m not sure how to help her navigate this when I’m feeling it too. I’m sorry Jensen, I shouldn’t be dumping this on you. You’re doing your job and supporting the family. I should be strong enough to handle my sadness and help the kids through theirs.” 

The tears started to fall but I quickly wiped them away. “Baby, it’s okay. God I wish I was there to hold you, all of you. It’s hard to be apart. What she’s doing is perfectly normal. JJ used to lay in my closet with some of my shirts pulled down to her when she was little.” 

I wiped my face, “Jens, tell me about filming. How is it going, being back in Toronto?” Jensen smiled softly, he knew I was trying to push the feelings that were rooted deep in my soul away. “It feels pretty good actually. The cast and crew are always so amazing. It’s not everyday you join an established show and fall right in rhythm with them. It’s great. Karl says hello by the way.” 

“What?” I almost choked. “Yeah I showed him your pictures and he said you were beautiful.” My eyes went wide, “Jensen, did you show him those pictures?!” Jensen’s head flew backwards as he let out a deep, hearty laugh, “No darlin’, those are for me only. I showed him your Instagram and the pictures I have on my phone. I showed him the pictures of all of our babies.” 

I smiled, “Yeah, we do have some cute kiddos.” I chuckled. 

We sat in silence for a minute. I nervously bit my lip. It was getting late for me and I needed to go to sleep, but I really didn’t want to say goodbye to him. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Jensen called softly. “It’s getting late there. I’m sure you’re exhausted. Why don’t we call it a night?” I took a deep breath and let it out, “You’re probably right, but I don’t want to say goodbye yet. God, I miss you so much, Jensen. I don’t know how to navigate this. I feel like I just got you in my life and now you’re gone.” 

I let out a sob. Jensen’s eyes stung with the tears that formed. “I know, baby. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you, with all of you. I can’t be in two places at one time. If I could I would be.” 

I saw a tear fall from his eyes and it caused me to cry harder. It broke his heart to see me cry, and it broke mine to see him cry. “I’m sorry, Jensen.” I kept saying it over and over again. 

There was a knock on his trailer door and I heard him talking to a woman off camera. He looked off camera and then back at me, “Darlin’ I have to go. They are calling me back to set.” I nodded, “Okay, I love you, Jensen.” “I love you too, Y/N.” Then the call ended. 

I laid down and cried myself to sleep. Jensen went back to set and continued filming. 

Back on set his head was filled with the thoughts and images of me and the kids missing him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw my tear stained face. The image of Jazzy laying in his office broke his heart. 

He was so consumed by the thoughts in his head he didn’t see he missed his mark and he didn’t say his line. 

“Cut! Jensen, you okay man? It seems like your head isn’t here tonight. Is everything okay at home?” The director asked from behind the camera. “Yeah, sorry.” 

Jensen took a deep breath and pushed all his thoughts down and continued with the scene. When the director finally called cut for the night, Jensen was mentally and physically exhausted. 

He opted to stay in his trailer for the night instead of going back to the apartment. Once in his trailer he slipped out of his boots, and went to grab a change of clothes from his bag. When he pulled a shirt out, Jazzy’s bunny fell out. His heart warmed, and then a wave of guilt and sadness washed over him. 

Jensen took a shower and climbed in his bed. He laid down and rolled to his side, staring at the pictures of me, and the kids. For the first time ever in his career, Jensen wanted to be home and not on set. He sent me a text even though he knew I was asleep.

Jensen: Hey babe. I just wanted to send you a quick text and say how much I miss you and love you. We’ve wrapped for the night and I’m in bed. Good night my love, sleep well.

Jensen set his phone down and started to close his eyes when something caught his attention. He saw Jazzy’s bunny laying on the top of his bag. He smiled, climbed out of bed and grabbed it. Placing it softly on the pillow next to him he grabbed his phone quickly and took a picture. It was of him with the bunny next to his head. He sent it to me for Jazzy.

Jensen: *1 image attached* Mr Bunny and I are hanging out, Thanks Jazzy! 🥰

Jensen closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning when I woke up I saw the texts from Jensen. I loved the picture he sent, his smile bright, but I could tell by the look in his eye he was feeling a little sad. 

I got the kids up and ready for school, showing them the picture of Jensen. Jazzy was excited and wanted me to send Jensen a picture of her with Braveheart, so I did. 

After the kids were at school, Gen and I went to the spa, and out to lunch. She helped me navigate some of my feelings of sadness and loneliness. “It gets easier, I promise. Being with the boys is worth the little separations here and there. Jensen loves with every fiber of his being. If he loves you then he’s completely in, and girl, I know he loves you. He wouldn’t have gotten a tattoo of your daughter if he didn’t. Just be honest with him about how you’re feeling, don’t keep it in, and don’t shut him out. The two of you will get through this.” She softly touched my hand. 

“Thank you, Gen. This is all just so new and I wasn’t expecting to be in love this quickly. When you start a new relationship you want to spend so much time together, but with Jensen, we are spending a month apart already. I’m just worried he’ll change his mind while he’s gone.” 

“Oh sweetie, he’s not going to change his mind. He loves you and Jazmyne so much.” I nodded as our lunch arrived. We continued talking about the early years of Supernatural and how she and Jared fell in love quickly. “I bet it was crazy being on set with those two.” I laughed.

“Oh yeah, they were always playing pranks on each other. When Jensen found out Jared liked me, he encouraged him to pursue me, and the rest is history.”

Just as we were wrapping up lunch my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and softly gasped,Toronto General Hospital. 

“Hello?” “Yes, hello I’m calling for Ms. Y/L/N. This is Amy from Toronto General Hospital.” “Um, this is her.” “Ms Y/L/N, you’re listed as Jensen Ackles’ emergency contact. I’m afraid he’s been in an accident and is currently in surgery. Is there any way you can get to the hospital?”

“Oh my god, is he okay? I’m in Texas, so it would take me a while. Oh god, is he okay?” I felt my heart rate pick up, panic was rising in my chest and the tears started flowing. “He’s in surgery, that’s all I know right now.” “Okay, um, let me see about getting a flight.” I hung up and cried. I told Gen what happened. She paid the bill and we left and headed for her house. 

“Hey, Jared. Y/N just got a phone call from the hospital in Toronto. Jensen is in surgery. There’s been an accident. We need to get her there quickly. Yes, thank you baby. We are on our way.”

I cried and tried to focus on getting to Jensen. Gen took my hand, “It’s okay sweetie, we are gonna get you to him.” “Gen I can’t lose another person I love. I can’t go through that again.” “You’re not going to, Y/N.” 

We pulled up at Gen and Jared’s house and got out. Jared greeted us at the door and pulled me in tight for a hug. “I called Clif and apparently there was an accident on set. Jensen had been distracted and didn’t see the ledge and fell. He hit his head, broke a few ribs and broke his leg. He’s currently in surgery to repair his leg.” I gasped, “Oh my god, Gen. This is my fault. He was distracted because of me.” “Shh, no, sweetie. This isn’t your fault. Let’s focus on getting you to him.” 

Jared booked the first flight out for Gen and I. We decided he would keep all the kids while Gen went with me to the hospital. I kissed the kids goodbye and told them they would be coming soon. I just needed to get there and make sure they would be okay to see him.

Jazzy was crying, saying she knew Daddy Jensen wasn’t coming home. It broke my heart, “Shh, no baby. He is coming home. He just got hurt and needs me to get better. I promise baby girl you four are going to be coming in the next day or two. Auntie Nichole is going to come help Jared get you guys up there.” 

I kissed her and the other three goodbye, thanked Jared and headed out to the airport with Gen. A few hours later we were landing and heading towards the hospital. 

My leg bounced all the way to the hospital. Gen did her best to keep me calm, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than getting to him. Walking into the hospital a large, bald man approached Gen and I. It was Clif. He pulled Gen into a hug and extended his hand to me. “You must be Y/N. Jensen has told me all about you and your sweet girl, Jazzy. Come with me, sweetie and I’ll take you to him. He’s out of surgery and in recovery.”

I nodded and walked down the hallway with him. As we got to Jensen’s room I felt my stomach flip. I thought I was going to throw up and pass out right there. My breath caught in my throat as my chest tightened. I took a deep breath before pushing open the door. 

The light above his bed cast a soft glow in the room. I gasped when I saw him. He was pale, had a nose cannula, his leg in a cast and up in a sling, and the monitor connected to him let out a soft beep as it monitored his heart. 

I slowly walked in the room and sat in the chair beside him. I softly took his hand in mine. “I’m here baby. Oh Jens, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I promise you we will get through this. Once you’re better we will figure out how to navigate your schedule together.” 

As I leaned in to place a soft kiss on his cheek a nurse came in to check on him. “Oh, hello. You must be Mrs. Ackles. I’m his nurse, Abby.” “Hi, no, I’m not his wife, I’m his girlfriend.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed you were. I apologize.” “It’s okay. Do you know when he might wake up?” “Well, it just depends when the medication wears off from surgery. He’s on some heavy pain medication too, so that could be keeping him asleep.” 

I nodded as I watched her check his vitals and check on him. She smiled at me and before she left she told me if I needed anything to let her know. I nodded and thanked her. 

Gen came in to see Jensen and to give Jared an update. We decided to keep the kids away until Jensen regained consciousness. Clif took Gen to the hotel as I stayed by Jensen’s side. Clif tried to convince me to leave, but I told him no. 

The nursing staff was amazing. Abby came in and showed me how the recliner actually became a twin bed. She brought me a pillow and blankets so I could get some sleep. 

The steady beeping of the heart monitor lulled me to sleep. Even though Jensen was lying next to me hurt, this was the first time in over a week I actually got some sleep. Knowing he was right beside me brought me some comfort. 

The light from the sun filtered through the curtains. I was woken up by someone calling my name. When my eyes adjusted, I looked over and saw the most beautiful green eyes looking at me. 

I sat up quickly and leaped out of the bed. “Jensen! Oh my god, you’re awake.” I kissed his lips softly. “Hey, sweetheart. What are you doing here?” “Seriously, did you think I wouldn’t come? The hospital called me and told me you were in an accident. Gen came with me. Jared and Nichole have the kids.” 

Jensen touched my face softly, “I’m glad you’re here. God I’m so clumsy. I can’t believe I fell.” “Jens, it’s my fault you were so distracted. I should have done a better job at holding in my emotions. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, shh, no. This isn’t your fault. It isn’t anyone’s fault. It was an accident. So do you have any idea what the damage is?” “Yeah, you have a concussion, some broken ribs and a broken leg. You just had surgery to fix it. You’re going to be out for a while.” 

Jensen ran his hands through his hair, “Fuck! Now this is going to slow down filming. I need to call Kripke.” “Jensen, honey, stop. It’s okay. I will call him and update him. You rest. We need you better so I can get the kids here to see you. They are worried sick.” 

Jensen sighed and relaxed back into the bed. “You’re right. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I leaned down and kissed his lips, he pulled me further in and deepened the kiss. 

“Damn I missed you.” He said as we pulled apart. “I missed you too, Jens.” 

A few hours later I had gotten in touch with Eric and he said he would just adjust the filming schedule. He said any scenes without Jensen would be filmed first and then when Jensen was cleared he would move forward with his scenes. Jensen seemed relieved with the adjustment. “I hope they let me out of here soon. I hate hospitals.” I touched his arms, “I know baby, but I want you to stay here as long as you need to so you can get better.”

“So are the kids going to come or are they going to stay in Texas?” “Well, I wanted them to stay until we knew you were okay and awake. I didn’t want the kids to see you unconscious. I figured it would scare all of them, heck it scared me.” 

The next few days Jensen slowly recovered more and we decided it was time to bring the kids in. Jared, and Nichole flew in with all the kids and brought them to the hospital. I met them in the waiting room. We could only take a few people back at a time, so Gen, and Nichole stayed with the other kids while Jared and I  took JJ, Arrow, Zeppelin and Jazzy back.

“Now guys, Daddy isn’t able to lift you guys up, and if you want to hug him you have to be gentle, okay. He might look tired, but he’s okay. Are you four ready?” I asked, looking at the children. They nodded their heads yes. 

When we walked in the kids were very quiet, taking in the scene in front of them. All four of them looked at Jensen and then at me with tears in their eyes. Jensen spoke, cutting the silence, “Hey guys. I’ve missed you four so much. Come give me a hug.” He lifted his arms slightly. 

I picked the kids up one at a time to gently hug him. When it was Jazzy’s turn she hesitated at first. “It’s okay baby. You don’t have to give him a hug if you don’t want to.” Her beautiful eyes looked up at me, tears slowly filling them. Then she whispered, “I do, I just don’t want to hurt Daddy Jensen.” “You won't, baby, I promise. If you’re not ready to hug him yet, that’s perfectly fine. Daddy understands.” 

Jensen’s breath hitched. That was the first time you referred to him as her daddy and not Daddy Jensen. He loved the sound of it. 

Jazzy sat down with the other three and just stared. Jensen and I talked to them about what happened, and how it was an accident, but he was going to be okay.

“So guys, I’m going to be home sooner than we thought, but I can’t do much so I’m counting on you four to help out.” The four children eagerly agreed. 

*Time Jump-1 1/2 weeks at home*

“Alright you four, let’s get you guys to school. Say goodbye to daddy and grab your bags.” I called from the kitchen. I heard giggles and Jensen’s laugh. It melted my heart. Since his accident I barely heard it, so when I did it was the most beautiful sound in the world. 

I noticed since Jensen’s accident his frustration and depression was starting to get worse. It scared me, because it seemed like he was starting to retreat into himself. 

After getting the kids off to school I decided to stop at the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. I was going to make Jensen’s favorite dish to help lift his spirits. 

When I got home I noticed the house was quiet. I put the groceries away and walked upstairs towards mine and Jensen’s room. As I got closer to the room I heard grunts and whispers. 

My breath caught in my throat as I opened the bedroom door. I saw the movement of the blanket first, then I saw Jensen’s face. His eyes were closed, teeth biting his lip and I could hear the moans from him and his phone. 

The floor under my feet creaked as I stood frozen in place. A mixture of embarrassment, hurt and anger flooded through me. Jensen’s eyes shot open and his reaction to seeing me standing there while he pleasured himself was not what I expected. 

“Don’t you fucking knock!?” He growled as he adjusted himself and turned off the porn he was watching. “I, um, I’m sorry.” I quickly turned on my heels and bounded down the stairs. Hot tears fell from my eyes. 

My heart breaking with each step, his words, the scene playing over in my head. I had tried so many times since he came home to be intimate with him. I offered to help him, but each time I was met with “I’m tired”, or “I don’t think it’s a good idea”, or “It wouldn’t be fair to you for me to just get off”. Each excuse was like a red hot poker to the chest. 

I sat on the couch crying. Trying to make sense of why he would want to get himself off when he had me. Then it hit me, he doesn’t want me anymore. Deep down he really does blame me for the accident. 

My timer on my phone went off, pulling me from my thoughts. It was time to take him something to eat so he could take his medicine. I didn’t know how I was going to face him after what happened.

I took a steading breath, grabbed his food and medicine and made my way to the room. I knocked. No answer. I knocked louder. Still no answer. This time I knocked and called his name. “What?!” He yelled through gritted teeth. “I have your food and medicine, can I come in?” 

I pushed open the door and saw him sitting against the headboard, scrolling on his phone. “Where would you like me to put the tray, Jensen?” “Probably somewhere where I can reach it, Y/N.”

Him calling my name like he did caused another crack in my heart to form. His tone was cold and distant. I didn’t know what to do or say, so I just nodded and placed the tray on the bed.

I started to gather the laundry from the room and noticed he kept letting out loud, frustrated sighs. “Jensen, is everything okay?” I asked softly. “Just peachy.” “Are you sure, because you keep sighing loudly and you’ve been really short with me.” “I told you I was fine, Jesus! What do you expect me to be fine with the fact you walked into my bedroom without knocking and I couldn’t even finish?!” 

I gasped softly, “I’m sorry. I thought this was our bedroom. I was mistaken.” I whispered, then I turned, leaving the clothes in a pile and left the room. 

Everything was just off and I had no idea what to do. His words, his tone, dripping with venom. Almost like he hated me, like he couldn’t stand to look at me anymore. I was the reason, my daughter was the reason his career was on hold. 

I grabbed my phone and went on the back porch. I called the local hospital and asked if they could point me in the direction of any private duty nurses who could help me. They gave me the name and number of a local agency that specializes in celebrities or important people. I called and scheduled an appointment for an hour from then. 

I went to the appointment and hired them to help. I explained everything with Jensen’s condition and told them it was just a lot for me, to keep up with everything he needed and taking care of four children. They signed NDAs and the first nurse said she could come by in about an hour. I thanked them and left. 

When I got in my car my phone went off with a text.

Jensen: Whiskey

One word was all he sent. I didn’t know how to respond, so I ignored it. Then the next text came in.

Jensen: Now

I was taken back by his texts. Jensen had never spoken to me the way he was and he was breaking my heart. I tried to keep Jared and Gen out of this, but I didn’t know what else to do. Nichole could be a sympathetic ear, but she didn’t know Jensen. They did and maybe they could shed some light on his behavior. 

Me: (to Jared) hey, can you and Gen come by the house. I need to talk to you.

Jared: Sure! We will be there soon.

As I pulled in the driveway, Jared and Gen were too. I climbed out of the car and as soon as Jared pulled me into a hug I collapsed into a sobbing mess. I told them everything that happened, how he was talking to me and treating me, and about the nurses.

“You know what, no, he doesn’t get to treat you like this. Where the hell is he?” Jared was furious. “He’s in the bedroom, but please just wait.” I said softly. Jared touched my arm, “Y/N, he can’t treat you like this. I get he’s mad, but he doesn’t have the right to take it out on you. I’ll wait if that’s what you want.”

“I do, the nurse will be here soon, and I don’t want more tension than necessary.” Jared chuckled a little, “I love that you hired nurses. He’s going to realize what a good thing he had with you taking care of him.” 

A few minutes later the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see a middle aged woman in scrubs standing there. She smiled brightly, and she had kind eyes. “Hello, my name is Terri. I was sent by the agency to help with Mr. Ackles. Are you Mrs Ackles?” “Hi, Terri, nice to meet you, no I’m not Mrs. Ackles. She passed away a few years ago. You can call me Y/N.” She extended her hand, “Well, Y/N, it’s nice to meet you. May I come in?” I stepped to the side and nodded. 

“Terri, this is Jared and Gen Padalecki. Mr. Ackles’ best friends. They might be here from time to time, so you may run into them again.” Terri extended her hand and smiled, “Nice to meet you two, I’m a huge fan, but I promise that will not interfere with my job. May I see Mr. Ackles so I can access his level of need?” 

I nodded. Jared touched my arm, “Let me take her up there.” He said. I agreed, but I was close behind. 

Terri, Jared, Gen and I walked upstairs. Gen and I stayed back, out of sight. Jared knocked on the door, “Hey Jens, it’s me man. Can I come in?” Jensen’s tone was light when talking to Jared, it hurt. “Yeah, man come on. Since when do you knock?” Jensen asked as Jared walked in. 

“Jensen, this is Terri. She’s going to be your private duty nurse to help with your recovery.” Jensen’s eyes went wide. He realized you’d hired a nurse because of the way he had treated you. Guilt filled his heart. With a smile on his face he greeted Terri warmly. 

Terri began her assessment and sat talking to Jensen for about an hour. When she came back downstairs she had a soft smile on her face, but her eyes showed worry. “So I’m going to be honest with you. His recovery isn’t just physical. He’s got some emotional scars too. I can see he’s slipping into depression. Jensen is going to need all of you in his corner to help him. He told me he had been a little snippy with you, (She pointed at me) and how much he regretted that. His anger, his depression and feelings of despair are completely normal, especially for someone who’s drive to provide is as high as his. Just be patient with him, and when he pushes you away, stand firm.” 

I nodded as the tears fell. My heart ached and I wasn’t sure how to navigate this. I know he would never hurt me like Robert did, but his words and actions towards me stung worse than when Robert beat me. The man who rescued me, who I love deeply, was pushing me away, and I didn’t know how to pull him back to me. That scared the hell out of me.

A few hours later when it was time for bed, I knocked softly on the bedroom door. Jensen didn’t answer. I pushed open the door and heard soft snores coming from his slightly opened mouth. 

I went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. When I came out I started to leave the room and Jensen’s voice broke the silence. “Are you not coming to bed?” I froze, my hand on the doorknob, “I’m going to sleep in the guestroom. I don’t think us sharing a bed in your room is a good idea anymore. Good night, Jensen.” 

Before I could change my mind or he said another thing I left the room. Softly closing the door behind me. The sound of the click was like a knife through my heart. 

Jensen laid on the bed replaying my words, “I’m going to sleep in the guestroom. I don’t think us sharing a bed in your room is a good idea anymore.” He ran his hands down his face in frustration. He pushed you away and those walls he so carefully removed, built back up. 

I climbed in the guest bed. It was cold and lonely. I missed the warmth of Jensen laying next to me. His strong arms wrapped around me. I missed the love we made, his lips on mine. I was losing him and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I cried into the pillow. The soft material was soaking up each tear and muffling each sob. 

I was losing the love of my life and had no idea how to fix it, to fix us. Maybe Jazzy and I should just leave. I know it would be hard on her for a while, but I can’t stay where I’m not wanted. The chasm between Jensen and I, growing ever wider, with no end in sight. Jensen and I both stared at the ceilings in our rooms. Neither one of us knowing how to fix this, but both of us wanting to. Two very clueless people, still deeply in love, not knowing how to navigate the hurt and raw emotions the injury caused. 

Jensen knew he messed up, and the guilt was weighing on him. He had to figure out how to make this right before it was too late, if it wasn’t already too late. Before he fell asleep he whispered into the air, “I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Before I fell asleep I whispered into the air, “I love you, Jensen. I’m so sorry.” 

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@mandee7

[kozuwhore]

why ,, in the living fuck ,, can i get my friends together with their crushes but i can't find anyone 🌚

[quietwingsinthesky]

thirteen is incredibly aware of how her actions are perceived and incredibly unaware of how her identity is perceived. like. that’s the Point of her meeting the fugitive doctor. that she can stand next to herself and not know herself. but she knows her own actions. the real recognition of herself in fugitive isn’t when she unearths the tardis or when fugitive calls herself the doctor. its when fugitive hands someone a loaded gun that will backfire and kill them only if they shoot at her first. because that’s what thirteen would do. you know?

[bitchwholikesshitposting]

Fucking love the idea of the chassis being an amplifier because you kinda get the best of both worlds from the whole chassis theory argument where wheatley's still being influenced but you keep the complexity of his character intact, plus you get the double whammy existential crisis of being driven to do horrible things but still having to deal with the fact after you come to your senses that no matter which way you look at it was still all you. In this essay I will

Ignore the giant rant in the tags its 1 AM

[carefulfears]

thinking about how expectant of her own death scully always was, but how completely struck by shock she was in mulder’s, despite how clear it had always been that he would one day die for the cause. tragedy in the x-files as something you should have been prepared for, but never could be, in scully standing at a funeral, as her mother had stood at her father’s, and barely being able to speak. she should be able to do this? bred to be a war widow, attached to an endless line. but no matter how many times she saw him put that gun to himself, or run off in front of another, she really did believe that he would always come back. she really did believe that there would never be a day where he didn’t just appear in the doorway again.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[andromeda3116]

tiny little details: throughout the entire series, riza subtly shows perfect trigger discipline, she only ever places her finger on the trigger when she is about to shoot

and when she points the gun at roy, her finger is on the trigger

[leafiion]

geara I have feelings for you. most of them are incomprehensible though

[sam-t-a]

I'm not sure whether I would say Hank's view of things is entirely him being in denial, because on the one hand, he did play an undeniable role in Cristobal's death.

But on the other hand, the line between unintentional complicity and outright harm has always been a very big component of their relationship, this one case being different in that (unlike the bomb for example), it actually killed Cristobal, not just harmed him.

Hank did perceive his decision as a way for both of them to survive and tried desperately to persuade Cristobal to stay when it turned out they weren't on the same page. I fully believe he would not have made the same choice had he known the stakes were this high. He just genuinely "didn't think this through".

So while he's glossing over his complicity, it would make sense for him to see that Cristobal was killed by an outside 3rd party who was out to get them both.... because he kinda was.

[kraviolis]

i can tell when the author of a fanfic im reading had a peaceful childhood

[ladsofsorrow24]

the way fans interpret trigun plants form to be "beautiful, ethereal being" vs how nightow write it to be "inexplicable eldritch horror" is surely very interesting comparison to be discussed

idk something about the way we interpret beauty = kindness and all that stuff but i'm too much of an idiot to explain it

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

[silent-partner-412]

Honestly I think it would benefit the Fire Emblem series a lot to diverge from the typical high fantasy setting/story structure that they’ve used for basically it’s entire lifetime. I know it’s sort of this series’ “thing” and a lot of people would be upset by the change but I honestly wouldn’t be opposed to maybe a sci-fi or contemporary setting, and for them to try and tell new types of stories, get weird with the series you know?

Like I enjoy FE stories at large, most of them are pretty fun and enjoyable at worst, but the series has been going for 17 games now and I really think a big change up wouldn’t be a bad thing.

[vagabondfromkanto]

//I've noticed that most people have a rule about godmodding and/or powermodding in their rules. Decided I also need one, with a twist.

The twist being "My muse's canon main superpower as per the finale is the power of endless 'NO U' and I will not hesitate to use it if you start bullshitting" ✨

[kipowolfton]

Last week a kid started throwing Ur mom jokes at me and more specifically at me in relation to the fact I was playing as Luigi in ssbu

I pulled out the 'Mario and Luigi don't have a mom'

he argued 'but they do in the movie!'

and I went 'you do know the movie isn't entirely canon to the games?'

and all the gamer friends (AKA his 5 older brothers) all agreed

and he pulled a ur mom joke on me 'ur mom is probably so disappointed in you, she should put you up for adoption' and I went

"I'm adopted,fool, she already did"

[david-watts]

I’m gonna kill someone!! I really fuckin am at this rate!!