#actually now that i think about it it was probably zoe who assigned them

[leslieseveride]

i know grey assigns new rookie's with their t.o.'s at random, but i can't help but headcanon that tim being the sly devil that he is, knows where grey hides the spare key to his desk drawer, and snuck a peak at all three of their files, nolan, jackson, and lucy, and was like, "oh, i want her".

[truebluewhocanoe]

assigning a Pokemon to every Doctor Who

Because I Want To(TM)

Gonna do this within the specific Pokemon/Doctor Who crossover AU framework of: 1. Pokemon exist everywhere in the universe and 2. The Doctor's partner Pokemon is actually connected to the TARDIS. It's like a little part of her personality that she sounds out to accompany the Doctor and help them out.

Also, I'm choosing first-stage Pokemon, mainly so that there isn't imbalances in strength between choices. Let's just say that this TARDIS partner Pokemon can evolve on the fly when needed but prefers to be small and cute.

Okay, with that out of the way, let's go!

First Doctor: Eevee It's a classic that's full of potential, not quite done cooking but already iconic.

Second Doctor: Zorua Crafty yet adorable. I can just picture Jamie and Zoe cooing over it and lapping up all the adoration. Illusions are very, very handy in a pinch!

Third Doctor: Pichu It can power his gadgets! It can nibble on wires to foil villains' plans! It matches the color scheme of his sonic screwdriver!

Four Doctor: Cottonee Extremely fluffy- I like to think it hides in his hair. Insert grass-type-weed joke here.

Fifth Doctor: Fomantis It rides around on his lapel instead of the celery! Also, its evolution Lurantis has matching baconpants.

Sixth Doctor: Litten It's a cat, it's a fire type, I shouldn't really need to explain this one. (It uses Sunny Day to help give Peri's plants sunlight!)

Seventh Doctor: Murkrow Clever, shady, and has a nice hat. (I also headcanon Ace with a Combusken, so Seven & Ace both have birds.)

Eighth Doctor: Litwick Ghostly candle matches his gothic edgelord vibes. Probably won't steal your soul.

War Doctor: Lucario Making an exemption to the first-stage rule because the Warrior doesn't have time to mess around. Despite joining the Warrior in full-on combat, Lucarios have an in-built sense of right and wrong. Proof, perhaps, that the Warrior hasn't entirely lost his way...

Ninth Doctor: Houndour A bit intimidating, a bit prickly, but deep down, it's still a good dog at the end of the day.

Tenth Doctor: Shinx Keeping with the canine themeing but this time upping the cuddly. Don't think too hard about how dangerous electricity can be.

Eleventh Doctor: Rowlet Okay, this one's just cuz it has a bowtie.

Twelfth Doctor: Noibat It's a living boombox! I like to think that the Noibat holds a guitar sound cord in its mouth to amplify the Doctor's guitar playing through its ears.

Thirteenth Doctor: Swablu Similar typing and evolution line to the previous, but this one takes the joyful exterior to the max. It even matches her color scheme!

That's all I've got for now, if you have different ideas for partner Pokemon, or for other Doctors that I didn't tackle, please tell me about them!

[mandyzoe]

waitttt youre so real for being a bully fan + orbit… if u associate that yeojin pic w lola which of the moon girls would u assign to the other girlies… :3c

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER i kinda fell off tumblr for a while i can’t lieee… but i love this question and i love you for asking it and it made my autism fire off on all cylinders so hope you don’t mind a response that is way longer than it has any right to be HEHE

im actually gonna take this ask in a different direction than you maybe originally meant it in so i apologize for that however i think my interpretations work best if i specifically use the loonaverse versions of the members because for 1 it just fits together a little better in my head if i connect these fictional characters to the fictionalized versions of these irl people, if that makes sense. and 2 im also just very autistic about the loonaverse. sorry

ok so despite the fact that i associate lola w that specific pic of yj, i find her more in line with yves, narratively speaking. because, well. yves is a fucking player. sneaking out to go on dates with vivi, stringing along chuu to make her partake of the fruit, recruiting her to convince gowon to do the same, fucking hyeju over, and THEN after hyeju had her little angry moment, yves just flashed her a smile and a wave to make her forgive her???? she has everyone wrapped around her finger. it’s crazy. two little baddie rulebreakers who WILL get what they want through love and/or war. love them

as for pinky, i debated on this one a bit. on one had there’s the undeniable rich girl swag of haseul. on the other, the princess-like charms of gowon were tempting. but ultimately? she’s a yeojin girl. her debut concept was so cute and quirky, but still with a distinct attitude to it that very much gives spoiled youngest and/or only child. she also has that same princess vibe, but a little more bright and youthful compared to gowon’s darker/more somber side of it. beyond debut, yeojin’s persona develops to lean more into that sassier vibe with the cuter aspects becoming more of an undertone which is very pinky to me

mandy… this one is flexible for me as well, between heejin or jinsoul. ppl usually say this about hyeju, but i actually think heej and soul have more “two sides of the same coin” qualities which kinda makes me wanna use them as a pair? like a duality if that makes sense. they’re both kinda morally ambiguous, heejin leaning more towards good and jinsoul more neutral/possibly evil, and also seem to have a lot more like. knowledge about the universe they’re in. like they’re very Aware of things and both attempt to exercise control over their surroundings a lot. jinsoul’s methods (allegedly!) are more Morally Questionable which is kinda where mandy leans, but i think the conflict between the two (as seen in not friends) can represent her change in how she views people and approaches relationships after… everything. they’re also both super gay

for beatrice i think maybe vivi? it’s mostly vibes based here. but vivi being an android is shown to be something that alienates her from her peers and makes her insecure in herself, despite the fact that she’s probably smarter and more talented than most if not all of them because of it. she still just wants to fit in and be a normal girl with friends who like her. later on, vivi’s android powers are shown to be more of an asset that can help her and her friends when they need it. i mean she literally piloted a space ship by herself for presumably several years to help them jump timelines or something. i think beatrice would appreciate that. plus, i think the edily concept can represent her more girly and romantic side. real yearner girl hours

now for zoe. hyeju. she’s hyeju. no debate really. they’re both initially characterized by their anger, having been hurt and betrayed and feeling really alone and isolated. hyeju is kinda viewed as a villain or a bad person because of her anger and craving for revenge, and while she can be volatile, at the end of the day she’s kinda just. a kid who was hurt. and yeah maybe she isn’t the “perfect victim”, she’s rude and angry and lashes out at people whether they deserve it or not. but she still didn’t deserve to be hurt the way she was. and she very much IS capable of love and forgiveness and she can eventually mend what was broken if she accepts the help offered to her. it just might take her a little extra time and some people willing to give her a chance. and also forgive some possible alleged murders but that’s not important

ok im gonna stop with just the clique girls cause this would get way too long HAHAHA but thank u for this ask and i hope u found my interpretations of these characters and this silly kpop lore at least somewhat interesting or accurate :P also hope ur enjoying the comeback hype as much as i am YIPPEEEE

[generalluxun]

ahh, I did not get that from this thread. My apologies.

Allow me to try to address your actual concerns then:

Yeah, Chloe stans can be prickly. When you have the actual creator denying Prima facie child abuse in his show, and a throng of people gobbling down his words because someone somewhere was mean to them growing up and so Chloe now represents their personal Bully who they want to see tortured *on top of* someone making a 5 yr long self-admitted spite-comic... well... they get defensive.

Some go overboard. I acknowledge that and imagine it sucks. I've had to talk stans down *myself* and I would be ranked as a stan, in as much as I despise child abuse and will always stan the child.

Allow me to hit another point: Consequences. I see this spoken of alot... what consequences? Where do we write this down? What would they do? Even before her father blamed everything he ever did on her and abandoned her into the clutches of her abusive mother while stealing someone else's child... Chloe didn't really have much.

In fact they had to pivot her character just to pretend she *hadn't* faced consequences. Chloe early on actually wanted to be liked. She was arrogant, off putting, and absolutely horrible at interacting with people, but she *did* want to be popular. Adrien's friendship mattered to her. She lost that. What people in school thought of her mattered(rooftop confession to Ladybug for proof) she lost all that. She went from a Queen, to a pest, to a non-entity. She cared about Sabrina's friendship (no it was not a healthy friendship but it was *a* friendship before S4) she lost that.

The only thing S5 Chloe had was her money... which isn't supposed to buy happiness right? and Lila whispering in her ear(much like we saw with Kagami, stoking her worst aspects). There's not much more to take away from her. Y'want her poor? Would that help?

My point here is that 'consequences' aren't meaningful unless they're directed at a solution.

It's funny that there was one point where Chloe WAS going to face actual helpful consequences. When she was caught cheating and was going to be assigned a bunch of makeup work. That's a lot of consequences. That's lost summers and evenings. That's cramming years of schooling into a short period of time. And the show had the gall to have *Marinette* the goddamn protagonist lash out at Ms. Bustier for finally trying to do her job. (She'd had Chloe for multiple years and never noticed. That's gross negligence on the part of an educator)

That's why people are mad at Astruc. That's just an unhinged viewpoint to present to kids.

So, what other consequences? Some community service might be helpful. It might also get her out to show her more of the world. Honestly, I'm not sure if removing her from her parents and putting her into a foster home should be considered 'consequences' or 'A blessing' at this point. (probably Zoe too. Keep her away from Andre!)

One problem with having her face consequences is, then we have to start doling it out to the other people who should face some in this show, and the writing team definitely has zero interest in *that*.

To your next point: I would disagree with you on the 'redemption arc' S2 clearly held all the narrative waypoints of a redemption arc in progress, hell compared to Felix, Andre, Gabriel, and even Shadybug/Claw Noir Chloe has a positively *protracted* redemption arc. 🤣

I will meet you halfway though. I will say that TA never intended to actually *follow through* on the redemption arc. He as just farming it for some buzz/drama/fanpoints on an episodic level and fully intended to tank it later.

I don't think there was an 'aborted' redemption arc. I think, like much of the narrative hooks in ML it was just 'teased' and then ignored when they anted to do something else.

ML is fantastic at forgetting what has been shown previously on screen when it needs to.

I will also state this: I don't give a damn if she has a 'redemption arc'. I want the girl to be shown *getting help* because that's the healthy message to send to the kids. If she's never a hero again, if she never makes friends with the rest of the class, I don't care. I just want what was done to her to be acknowledged, and the fact that *someone* can help to be communicated to any abused kids watching.

Hopefully this addresses your points a little more succinctly, and you feel that I have at least acknowledged your actual positions instead of demonizing you.

One the broader topic of people in the fandom who do not have any concept of proportionality, nuance, negotiation, persuasion, listening, or the difference between understanding and acceptance?

We can fully agree. Though I don't think they're limited to any one particular group of stans. 😂

Mlbtumblr stop acting like Chloe is just shmol and misunderstood and actually acknowledge her issues and the way she treats others without blaming it all on Thomas Asstruck go!

[not-alien-girl-v]

Evans Height HCs

ok so i usually don’t do this but i’ve seen posts about this before and they only really rank the evans in height from tallest to shortest so today i’m giving actual heights that i headcanon let’s get started

Tate: ok he is cocky but not like an over 6 foot type cocky, but also not like a 5’5 kind of cocky, so i’m giving him a fair 5’10, only an inch shorter than evan actually is so it seems alright, because like he’s confident, but not in a super tall guy kind of way

Kit: i’m feeling like a solid 6’0 maybe even 6’1 if i’m being generous and i think he somewhat enjoys his height like he doesn’t try to make it his whole personality or anything but he’s comfortable in the fact that in some cases he can tower over people and in some cases he’s only just a little bit taller than others, but in general he’s a really confident guy so i feel like it’s just not something he’s ever concerned himself too much with

Frat Kyle: something about being a frat boy just screams 5’9 to me but in a negative way. like i mean this as an insult to frat boys, even though i love kyle with my whole heart, he is definitely not over 6’0 and i think he’d lie about his height just a little bit like he’d say 5’10 maybe 5’11 just to impress people a little bit. just don’t break out the tape measurer or else words will be had

Franken Kyle: now hear me out on this. he was given a new body. like completely new shit. madison and zoe did not know who the fuck they were putting together, they just saw a handsome face and ran with it. 6’1. i think something in the reconstruction gave him a few extra inches and it would really help sell the whole murderous monster thing to be taller than 5’9. i don’t know i just think it could happen

Jimmy: i think he’s 5’11. because i feel like we were sold the whole ‘other than his hands he is the most attractive man’ and i think that includes him not being super short or super tall. he’s a little on the taller side but just like. not all the way up there with it

James: bless his soul but this man is just a little guy. not like SUPER small. but he is probably 5’8 or 5’7. and let’s be real does it even matter id still smash no questions asked. but he just isn’t very large. hope you all feel these vibes. once again he has that confidence and he puts together his look very nicely and that’s what pulls all his bitches so it does not matter what his height is but let’s be real. 5’8 at the most

Rory: never seen this season. someone on tiktok assigned this season to my zodiac sign (aries) and that pissed me off so i’m giving him 5’6. deal with it. fuck gingers

Kai: i know a lot of people say this and that’s because it’s correct but kai is the tallest. like he is giving TALL energy. like 6’4 at least maybe even 6’5. and hear me out on this so precult he was just this weird nerd incel thing and he had the potential to be hot he just wasn’t doing that yet. have you guys met nerds in real life. some of them get pretty big i can speak from personal experience also it totally works out with his intimidation tough guy thing, just being an absolute mountain of a man, i’d be scared but id still smash

Mr. Gallant: twink. 5’7. let’s move on

Jeff: 5’6. shortest evan and it’s so obvious. he gives off little man vibes. i know i said some nerds can get kinda huge but he is not one of them. little man. let’s move on

*moment of silence for the lack of evan peters in 1984*

Austin: 5’8. he’s comfy with it. he’s cool. it’s no big deal and it’s just not his biggest concern in any way. unrelated but does anyone remember when he said ‘i’m hungies 🥺’ that ruined me. i can never forgive austin for that.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dear Evan Hansen

You may have seen some ~online discourse~ about the film Dear Evan Hansen, an adaptation of the 2016 Broadway musical, and you might have wondered what all the hubbub is about. I mean, it’s a feel good story about a senior in high school, Evan Hansen (Ben Platt), who has some pretty severe anxiety and depression. While trying to fulfill an assignment from his therapist to write a letter to himself, his letter gets picked up by another student, Connor (Colton Ryan) - and later that day, Connor kills himself. Connor’s grieving parents and sister Zoe (Amy Adams, Danny Pino, and Kaitlyn Dever) are desperate to learn more from the boy they think was Connor’s best friend - after all, Connor’s suicide note was a letter addressed to “Dear Evan Hansen.” And, as you can imagine, Evan tells them about the unfortunate mistake and sits with them in their grief as they struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives. 

Just kidding! He lies to them, repeatedly, elaborately, expansively for months, constructing an entire false friendship with Connor that never happened, and ingratiating himself into the wealthy nuclear family he never had, in large part because he wants to get into Zoe’s pants! THIS IS THE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY. Oh, and it’s a musical so there is a lot of singing and crying and singing WHILE crying and sometimes crying and not singing at all. But the #inspiration, you guys. 

Things I liked:

Pretty much everything but the story and Ben Platt’s performance. The supporting cast is stacked, and all of them do a great job at elevating material scraped directly out of a diaper worn by someone who just chewed their way through a copy of the DSM-5. 

A couple of the songs are damn catchy - “Waving Through a Window” and “You Will Be Found” are standouts for a reason - and here’s the thing, Platt sings them well. But as you’ll discover, there’s a lot more to a movie musical than just singing your part. 

Stephen Chbosky, the man behind every deep thought I and a lot of people in my generation had in 2006 after he wrote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is a pretty good director. I particularly enjoyed the fanvid-type cuts in “Waving Through a Window” in conjunction with the lyrics, and his use of interstitial shots to flashbacks (and sometimes flashforwards!) is a neat little bit of shorthand that I thought was used sparingly enough to be effective. 

Amy Fucking Adams. She’s holding on so hard, so desperately to the idea of who her son could have been, rather than the reality of who he was, and she is full of such deep pain that is masked by an almost endless supply of patience with Evan and relentless positivity. All this made me want was Enchanted 2 even worse than I already did. 

Super into everything Zoe wears - the costuming department did a great job, and now all I want to do is live in mom jeans and baggy sweaters.

Did I Cry? I teared up a couple of times because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and when Amy Adams offered Evan Connor’s college money, my heart broke for the lie Evan had thrust upon her, and Julianne Moore’s song got me good, because she’s just a single mom to Evan who is doing her goddamn best. 

Things I hated more than the time I dropped a frozen gallon container of fruit cocktail on my pinkie toe in my parents’ garage and it turned black and I thought it was gonna fall off:

Ben Platt is 28 years old. He originated the role of Evan Hansen on Broadway, so in many respects it makes sense that he plays the role in the movie, except for the one kinda sorta important thing where he looks like a wizened old crone standing amongst a sea of children doing his best twitching, cringing Hunchback of Notre Dame impression. If you want someone to convincingly play 20 years their junior, hire Paul Rudd. Otherwise, please don’t ask me to believe that this supposed 18-year-old has crow’s feet. 

And that twitching nervous energy is a huge part of the black hole at the center of this film - he’s playing to the cheap seats and walking through the halls of his high school like a wet chihuahua. It’s an excruciating acting choice to watch - he doesn’t just have anxiety, he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown seemingly every second of every day. Like honestly, where is only-mentioned-never-seen Dr. Sherman, because this young man’s meds are NOT WORKING DR. SHERMAN. 

There’s such a lack of self-awareness on behalf of the writing, directing, and performance by Platt. There’s one song, “Sincerely, Me,” that offers the only glimpse of commentary about what Evan is doing, by pointing out the malicious ridiculousness of him writing a series of fake emails as proof of his and Connor’s friendship. 

Also what high schoolers email this much?? I know this was written in probably 2014 or so, but has a bitch never heard of a text? Even a DM? This whole plot is constructed around the premise that high schoolers are just constantly, constantly emailing each other. 

Everything - and I mean EV-ER-Y-THING - about Evan’s relationship with Zoe is so creepy and disturbing that with a soundtrack change, this could easily be a horror movie. He attempts to get her to like him by describing to her all the things her brother noticed about her - oh wait, I’m sorry, all the things HE noticed about her while he was skulking in the shadows following her around for years, watching every move she made, and it ends with him singing repeatedly “I LOVE YOU” because following a girl around and never having a conversation with her or knowing her at all is love, right? This was clearly written by the same people who chose “Every Breath You Take” as their wedding song because Sting is hot and they never actually listened to the damn words. 

And it gets about 10 billion times worse when Zoe goes to Evan’s house alone, takes him up to his room, and sings “I don’t need reasons to want you” and that was the moment I was that person I hate in a movie theater and I pulled out my phone to Google who wrote the music and lyrics to the musical (we were in the back row of the theater no one was behind me THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE EMERGENCY) and of motherfucking course it was written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, 2 men who heard about meeting an actual human woman from a friend one time but otherwise are unfamiliar with the concept. 

Lastly, enormous serial killer vibes from Evan sending unlabeled flash drives anonymously through the mail with no note in an attempt to right his wrongs. That’s not catharsis, that’s how the next installment in the Saw franchise starts, with Evan in a Billy the clown doll mask showing up on the screen and asking if you want to play a fucking game. 

Also, I know it’s not possible for the narrative to justify this in a way that could be satisfying based on Evan’s actions, but what is with this thing where single working-class mom Julianne Moore is turning down rich people’s money for Evan to go to college? Like, obviously we can’t have that happen in the movie but in real life, fuck your pride! Take those rich people’s money!

I also know how movies work but nothing annoys me more than a giant group of high schoolers all getting beeps and boops to indicate text notifications all at the same time because I don’t know a single person under the age of 55 who keeps their ringer on. That shit is on vibrate AT MOST, and I feel like that’s a millennial thing. 

The emotional climax of the film is obviously Evan’s WAY TOO LATE confession, but the idea that it’s prompted by Connor’s family suddenly getting a lot of internet hate is, frankly, laughable. If Sandy Hook taught me one thing, it is that no tragedy is immune from trolls who live only to cause other people devastating emotional pain on the internet. That shit starts day 1. Apparently no one involved in this production has ever been on Twitter?

Also it feels like there should have been a dog somewhere in this movie and there was no dog, so points off for that too. 

Perhaps Dear Evan Hansen isn’t nearly as deep as it aspires to be. Perhaps it’s a morality play, a simplistic message of “Don’t lie, kids, lying is bad!” Major studio movies wrap themselves up with a nice bow at the end so everyone can feel good about themselves and leave with a happy ending, but the moronic cruelty on display here makes that feat feel impossible. We’re left with Evan in an orchard, reading Connor’s favorite books and staring into the big blue sky with all the self-actualization he’s earned now as a lil treat. And if Evan Hansen looked like an actual 18-year-old, it would be a lot easier to extend more empathy to him and his not-fully-developed prefrontal cortex, but it’s a little harder with this fully-grown, weathered man who was old enough to remember seeing Liar Liar in theaters. 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Get some actual help and a haircut and maybe you can grow up enough to have an actual healthy interaction with any other living person, ever.

Sincerely, 

Me

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[officialgritty]

How I Would Humble NHL Players

An essay written by bigboigritty. 

I would humble hockey players the only way I know how to, by sending them to Australia. Let’s suppose that they have decided to hold the All Star game over here (forget about it’s usual date) (forget that some players I have listed below might not be invited) (and while you're at it, please forget that Australia’s rinks are Not Good).

I think that they would suffer but in an entertaining way so it’s fine. 

First of all, their biggest concern is getting sunburnt. It would effect all of their dumb asses but I’m particularly worried about Pierre-Luc Dubois and Mitch Marner. Boys are practically translucent. Vince Dunn would be fine, he’d probably wear a shirt most of the time which is a very smart decision. 

You may wonder why I didn’t mention Nolan Patrick because I am a certified slut for him, well I don't think he would have a problem. He would spend most of the time inside and when he joins the others, I think his Virgo ass would reapply sunscreen. Maybe he would burn slightly but I don't think it'd be enough to make him uncomfortable. 

Another thing that I think they will gain from this experience is a higher pain tolerance. Now you’re probably thinking, “Zoe they are NHL players so they can handle pain.” Wrong.

Real pain is running barefoot on cement at theme parks while you race to get to the next ride. Also getting into the car and having to avoid touching every piece of metal to not get branded like a cow. Or better yet, when the heat gets so bad that there’s a black out because everyone has their air conditioning turned on.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that other countries have scary animals but I would pay to see them panic over ours. Crocodiles here can grow up to 5.2 metres / 17 feet. We have a box jellyfish season where it’s advised to avoid swimming or wear wetsuits for coverage. Funnel web spiders can survive underwater for hours by trapping air bubbles around their skin. We have several of the worlds deadliest snakes present across the country. 

Listen, I don't want anyone to get injured but the constant fear that they would have when doing anything would be enough to make me happy.

My biggest question is who would survive in the shady areas, who would survive the eshays?

Under no circumstances can you look them in the eyes or cross their path. They are not to be feared individually but in groups caution is advised. I think the players would attempt to assert dominance and that is simply not an option. You are better off to ignore the eshay.

Nolan would have no issues here if im being honest. He is big and I don't think they’d find it worth it to fuck with him. But you know who they would target? Matthew Tkachuk. “Where are you going pretty boy?” “Oi braa did we hurt your feelings ya pussy cunt?” They would make fun of his hair in particular. 

Travis Konecny would be an eshay. I don't think I need to make further comment. (So would Louis Tomlinson but I am not a 1D account and I will continue to repeat that until it’s true.)

I would also give them a few iconic tasks to get the true Australian experience. Activities for the ‘vacation’ include triathlon events, beach flags, bush walking and climbing the harbour bridge. They could attend a cricket match but they tend to like golf so unfortunately they would probably enjoy this :(

AFL is an extremely popular sport here and I think they would loose their shit when they learn the rules of this game. No protective equipment is used other than mouthguards, that's it. That’s all you get. And jumping onto other players for leverage is encouraged. I would thoroughly enjoy the fights that would break out because of this.

Another task would be to use a map to make their way to a servo for a slurpee. The catch is that they will be required to pass through multiple alleyways. Also, the season is Spring, it’s swooping season mother fuckers. Let’s see how brave you are when birds chase you down the block. Personally I don’t think any of them would pass this test, maybe McDavid because the birds may not be able to detect a heartbeat.

Australian food would disgust them, I just know it. Things that they would need to try are a Bunnings sausage sanga, fairy bread, lamingtons, baked beans on toast, Milo and Vegemite. Because I’m me I would give them no butter with their Vegemite. 

An after thought I had was money so I’m editing this to include it. Everything here is EXPENSIVE so they would need to learn how to budget. Upon doing research, Canadians would be fine but the Americans will be mad.

1000 CAD = 1019 AUD

1000 USD = 1297 AUD

Another after thought was the fact that they won’t be able to drive (or at least drive well) here. We drive on the left and not the right, same goes for walking paths too. I can sense a lot of them bumping into people.

Where I think players would live based on vibes alone:

Carter Hart and Vince Dunn: North Shore Beaches, NSW. Daddy’s money. Carter probably did Nippers whereas Vince was a skater boy. 

Travis Konecny: Darwin, NT. Would 100% live there and enjoy it. He would try to conduct crocodile tours but gets assigned to feeding the baby crocs and doing shows for little kids. 

Tyson Barrie: Perisher, NSW. One of the only ski resorts we have to offer, major friendly mountain man energy.

Nolan Patrick: Byron Bay, NSW. @antoineroussel enlightened me, steering away from my original thought of Katoomba, NSW. Byron Bay is a magnet for hippies and links rainforest to the ocean. Chris Hemsworth and his family also live there.

William Nylander: Perth, WA. I don’t know much about Perth other than they wouldn’t shut up about partying while the other states had to quarantine. For some reason, I also associate Perth with Tik Tok. 

Sidney Crosby and Connor McDavid: Melbourne CBD, VIC. These two would live in the same apartment building in the city, Connor one level above Sidney. It’s the most boring looking block of them all and Crosby would send in complaints to the landlord about McDavid pacing during the night.

Tyler Seguin: Surfers Paradise, QLD. Party central, not many people are actually from this area and he would be sure to tell absolutely everyone that he was. I also think he would get a Meter Maid tattoo, specifically on his leg. Has definitely slept on the beach before because he couldn’t find his way home.

Jamie Benn: Hobart, TAS. Tasmania is usually forgotten about. Another one with mountain man energy except he is more creepy than friendly.

Mitch Marner: Fitzroy, VIC. @antoineroussel is responsible for this one too. Hipster central, makes you question how the hell someone so young can have so much money. Would chug $45 wine and not blink an eye.

(honourable mentions include = Sammy Blais: Hobart, Tas. Once again no comment on Tasmania. TJ Oshie: Cairns, QLD. Would do reef tours. Haydn Fleury: Western Sydney, NSW. Haydn would 100% own a ute or a white holden commodore and you can’t tell me otherwise. Roman Josi: Adelaide, SA. Small town history teacher vibes.)

I have attached a handy map for those who may need it.

In conclusion, the NHL should send their players over here to teach them some manners and while they’re at it, management should bring themselves too. Nolan Patrick could pass as an Australian if he built up a tan. (So does Nylander in this picture but we won’t talk about that.) Come over anytime baby, I’m free. 

Glossary

Servo - A service station, also known as a petrol or gas station. Example: 7/11

Theme park - An amusement park. Can be said in reference to both normal parks and water parks and usually means those in QLD. Example: Six Flags

Swooping season - August to October in Australia. When birds attack and chase humans and / or pets for getting close to their babies. Magpies are notoriously bad for this. 

Bunnings sausage sanga - A cheap feed / meal found at the front of a hardware and gardening store called Bunnings. Made up of white bread, sausage, onion and your choice of sauce.

Fairy bread - White bread with margarine and topped with 100s and 1000s / sprinkles. 

Meter Maids - Women who work along the beach dressed in gold bikinis. They top up parking meters to save tourists from getting fined and will often stop for photos. 

Nippers - Surf lifesaving programs carried out for children between 5 and 14. 

Ute - A pick up truck.

Eshay - A person who partakes in drug use, graffiti, listens to EDM and targets victims in groups. Below is the typical style of an eshay. 

Tagging a few friends so this doesn’t completely flop but feel free to ignore if it isn't your thing. I won’t be offended lmao

@scheifefe @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @d00dlebob @bowenbyram @kempe @prettyboyroope @quintonsbyfield @travisgermy @pitoftrash @kspitehockey @ballsakic @canadianheaters @bricksatlandyswindow @powerblais @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @jamiedrysdales

[tundrainafrica]

Hey so how does it feel to carry the entire Levihan fandom on your back? I absolutely love all your stories! I always look forward to when you update! I had an idea for a fic but I haven't seen anyone do it. Where past levi wakes ups ( when he only sees hange as a friend) in the future to find that he's happily married to hange or living domestically with her and just contemplates his feelings for her

Title: Unwritten

Summary:

“Hange Zoe. One of the reasons why she creates really quality works is because aside from writing the script, she’s very hands on with everything from the direction, to the design and just the overall production… And she knows how to do it. When I watch her movies, it feels like they're peering into my soul or something.”

“Peering into your soul…” It was a tacky choice of words and Levi could only repeat them with some level of disbelief.

“What makes Hange Zoe's writing special are those in betweens. The unwritten parts... if you know what I mean?" 

Levi is assigned to work with screenwriter Hange Zoe and he is left constantly wondering why the hell she's taking her work so seriously.

Link: AO3

Note: I conceptualized this long fic after looking through a some of the prompts in my inbox and playing with them.. TYSM to everyone who sent those. I won't be dropping all the prompts I used when making this now because it might end up spoiling the fic as a whole but I will be dropping the prompts with every chapter I updated.

This fic doesn't actually follow any prompt strictly, I twisted the prompts around them, tore them apart, put them together so they might seem unrecognizable for some.

Either way, I'm very grateful to readers who are sending me prompts. It keeps me writing and brainstorming even when life gets terribly busy.

So thank you for them :D. I'm trying to get back to posting my writing more regularly again and this fic has been sitting in my folder for a while, I was just a little nervous to post it. Thanks to itShailaAM for looking through it!

If neither of us remember anything… Then it’s like it never happened right?

The voice was nostalgic, heart wrenchingly nostalgic. It had a unique way of twisting at his gut, spidering up his spine then leaving an almost painful pang in his chest.

Despite the overwhelming sensations, Levi found himself still able to take control.

So he reached out.

Then he was chasing after her again.

Chasing… He then wondered. How long had he been chasing? How long had he been awake?

With the first light of morning, whatever message, whatever meaning he could have made up for himself dissipated.

Or maybe it was never there to begin with.

For the first time in years or even decades, Levi was wasting his early morning window before work. He wasn’t doing much of anything but staring up at the white ceiling in some feeble attempt to make sense of it again. He came up empty save for two things: a faint throbbing in his head and a half hearted conclusion that maybe it really was just some fevered dream.

“Good morning!"  Someone was right next to him. Her voice was higher, more mellow. A hairs breadth away from his ear though, it grated.

Levi narrowed his eyes and the blur cleared somewhat. “Petra?” He heard himself speak. He was in an unfamiliar in-between, completely in control of himself, yet strangely disconnected. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Petra put one hand on the back of her head and gave him a sheepish grin. “Sorry about barging in like this…” She didn’t have to apologize. They were childhood friends and with all the family gatherings they had spent together growing up, they were more than comfortable just flitting in and out of each other’s apartments.

Levi didn’t respond. There were more important things to think about like the slow and almost painful process of sitting up. That morning, he was a little more careful than usual.

“Your mom told me to check on you.” Petra continued.

“Typical,” he muttered coldly. He turned towards the window, and took in the view of the blue sky, a few stories above ground. It should calm him if he stared at it long enough. “She always overreacts,” he added. At that point, the crankiness had started to subside and Levi realized he didn’t mind the doting too much. His mother had always been like that anyway. Growing up, a sprained ankle or an animal bite from a family pet had always been enough for Kuchel to insist on a visit to the doctor.

Petra let out a dry chuckle. “I don’t blame her though. Since the accident, she’s been asking about you every...”

Everyday. Levi completed it for her. He wouldn’t be surprised if his mother had asked about him every hour. “She can always ask me directly,” he said out loud before Petra could finish. He didn’t feel too bad about interrupting. Petra had been speaking particularly slowly since a while ago and if he let her speak like that for any longer, they might not get anything done.

As if she had read his mind or at least noticed the impatience, she immediately gathered herself. “You always downplay it,” she said, more clearly this time.

“She always exaggerates it.”

“That accident was pretty bad though.” Petra cocked her head to the side. “I’m sure you understand that, right?”

Levi averted his gaze for a brief second. He couldn’t deny that part. That accident had apparently been bad enough to merit a month long hospital stay, bad enough for Levi to not remember much of it aside from the phantom pains in his chest, And bad enough to take the brunt of the pain and the inconvenience of dealing with the symptomatic disorientation, the fatigue and the begrudging need for some support.

A few seconds of reflection later, Levi concluded maybe there was good reason for that overreaction. “But I can take care of myself.”

Ironically, his body chose that moment to teeter.

“Hey, you okay?” Petra put one warm hand on his shoulder. “You think you can make it to work today?”

The throbbing at the back of his head had dulled to a bearable ache but he could have sworn it had been worse in the hospital. “I don’t have enough leaves,” he said. He focused for a while longer on Petra’s eyes and saw reason.

Maybe I can take a longer break?

His body was probably silently begging for more leaves. On the contrary, another part of him had been yearning for normalcy for a while. Practicality had been the deciding factor. Although Levi had more than enough leaves, did he have more than he would have been comfortable giving up? Maybe not. He wouldn’t take it anyway. He had more than enough strength to push himself out of bed and pad lightly to the bathroom.

Unwillingly or willingly? He was too tired to tell.

“You were in the hospital just a week ago.” Petra was a voice of reason or a voice of temptation.

“I can’t take any more leaves,” Levi repeated again, as if saying it louder somehow made it more convincing. He made his way to his closet, keeping his strides purposeful, partially for himself, partially for her.

Even for a long time friend, Petra had always been shy and conservative. As soon as Levi motioned to pull his shirt up, she rushed out of the room in some characteristic gesture of modesty.

His bedroom door closed with a click and Levi started to slip his clothes off much faster. His head continued to throb. There was a strange ringing in his ears and the room was a little drafty, typical for early spring.

Levi didn’t have the mind space to prepare for that brush with icy wind. Fucking hell. Discomfort then the desperation that followed had him considering calling in sick again.

After using up three week’s worth though, vacation leaves were starting to feel more like a scam than an actual benefit of the job. He ran through the motions of his typical morning routine. Or at least, what had been typical a month ago. Since the accident, he hadn’t worn anything but loose shirts, pajamas and hospital gowns. Back in the hospital, he had been asleep a lot of that time.

He pulled his pants on, then sluggishly pulled his sweater over him, dolefully noting how snug fitting clothing seemed like strangers to his skin.

He didn’t feel like the same person anymore.

It looked like Petra did notice something was different. Over breakfast, she had pushed the plates closer to him. She did the honors of pouring the scrambled eggs onto his plate, then placing a loaf of bread right next to him. “Eat, we have a long day ahead.”

Levi mumbled something that could have been a ‘thanks’ or a ‘yes.’ He didn’t think too far about it either. There were more pressing things to deal with, like internally psyching himself up for his first day back at work and finding routine once again in the recovery process.

For a few minutes after, the two were silent in the small kitchen save for the sound of chewing and the sound of cutlery clacking on the plate.

“Hey Levi,” Petra hesitantly broke the silence. “You really don't remember what happened?” She had asked that question countless times before, back at the hospital, on his first day back at home and every single time she paid a visit.

He chalked it up to worry. In some semblance of a response, Levi downed the bread in his mouth in one painful gulp, then took a sip of tea. “I remember waking up in the hospital.”

“Before that.”

Levi dropped the half eaten bread on the plate and stared straight up at the ceiling for a second. “Leaving work,” he answered. It was too vague of an answer and Petra didn't seem satisfied.

Of course she wouldn’t be satisfied. He always walked the same route home and routine wouldn’t give too much of an answer to the question of how the hell more than a month ago, he had ended up with a severe concussion and a few contusions in the hospital emergency room, a few towns away from his own.

Past was past though. There was no use digging into it. At present, he had medical bills to pay and a career to salvage. No time for a personal investigation. He attempted to digress. “What did I miss?” Levi asked. “At work?” He noted Petra’s very disconcerting expression, a combination of pity and uncertainty. It was starting to get annoying.

Petra furrowed her brows, a little more hesitant to speak that time. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about...”

In protest, Levi put the bread down and stared at Petra, his stone cold expression unwavering. He wouldn’t be eating unless Petra continued. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

A few minutes of silence later and it seemed to work. Petra looked down at the bread then up at him. Whatever was plaguing her mind then had taken some control over her. “A lot has changed since the accident,” she started.

“With work?” Levi asked again. He dropped the bread on the plate, deliberately allowing the clatter, as if the loud jarring sound would be enough to drive away the disbelief. Three weeks or fifteen business days wasn’t supposed to be a long time taking into account the speed of office bureaucracy.

Petra nodded, a wry smile on her face. Her expression, her demeanor gave the uncertainty away before she spoke of it. “You’re probably going to have to talk to Mr. Zackley about it…”

Levi’s mind was racing. Despite the throbbing, Levi had managed to fill in the blanks for himself. Even before Petra expounded on it, Levi had started to accept already, going back to work was probably not going to be such an easy ride.

Being gone for weeks had done a number to his job.

Three weeks to be exact. It was just three weeks, fifteen business days. Despite Petra’s apparent discomfort, her incessant warnings not to ‘expect,’ Levi had expected some semblance of normalcy. When his hopes were dashed, Levi felt like he had been body slammed out of nowhere by an oncoming train.

“I’ve been working on their set for years…Since the pilot episode, ” Levi said slowly. Hell, since even before the pilot episode if you consider the preproduction stage. He didn’t want it to seem at all like it was an argument and he subdued his tone to something lighter, with the intention of reminding himself not to talk back at authority.

“And we’ve transferred you,” General Manager Darius Zackley said matter-of-factly. “Underground City has been garnering a lot of attention lately and we couldn’t afford to be undermanned at such a crucial point of production.”

“But was it necessary to transfer me?”

Mr. Zackley’s expression softened. He didn't have a natural expression that demanded authority but he made up for it with reason. “It’s a primetime show,” he explained. “One of our best, and given the uncertainty regarding your accident…” For some reason, he had hesitated at that word. “We couldn’t take a gamble. We had you immediately replaced after the first week.”

“And?” At face value, the new developments were starting to seem terribly, terribly disappointing. “I can still work there.” Levi was perfectly aware of where the conversation was going. Still, it didn’t hurt to try.

Mr. Zackley was surprisingly patient. “It’s not an issue of you not fitting in. But we want to properly and more efficiently distribute our labor. The production of Underground City is currently…” He cleared his throat. “Oversaturated.”

Oversaturated with budget, resources. Underground City was a crime and mystery drama, one of their more high budget productions. Levi wasn’t too surprised at that piece of information, having worked closely with the producers and the writers since the pilot.

With a boss a few reporting levels above his own though, Levi couldn’t do much but listen quietly. Disappointment and uncertainty loomed over him and he was tiring more quickly.

“We’ve made some arrangements, set you up with a new role.” Mr. Zackley was taking his sweet time, his painfully sweet time.

At the butt end of Mr. Zackley’s whims, Levi was a mess. He racked his brain for all possible outcomes of the ‘arrangements’, a painful process, hampered by the weight of too many possibilities. They were a medium sized network that produced most of their own TV shows on top of news coverage and documentaries, still too many for Levi to have cared enough about to count.

At that moment, he was determined to make up for lost time. Naturally, his mind first flew to the more well known productions, those that had been receiving the best ratings in prime time TV since he had started working there.

Underground City. Military Police.

Working at the set of the crime drama ‘Underground City’ had been a good run for Levi, one he would have liked to continue but Mr. Zackley said so himself, they replaced him. ‘Military Police,’ one of their more popular historical war dramas, also received one of the bigger chunks of their budget. With Zackley’s very sullen expression, it looked like he wasn’t at all there to give Levi a promotion.

He didn’t really mind not working on the ‘Military Police’ set anyway. Everyone there seemed like a lazy prick and that long running drama had always seemed overrated to him. What else would be waiting for him though? “To where?” Levi pressed.

The old man hummed for a second, leaned forward on his seat. “I talked to Erwin about this and we have an opening in one of our daytime shows.”

“Erwin?” Levi repeated. The name was more than just familiar and he allowed himself a brief moment to recall. Erwin Smith. One of the more prominent in-house directors. Just digging deep into his mind, riling up whatever was causing the headache in the first place. He sat still and waited for it to subside again.

Then he wondered if it had been physical or just an emotional reaction to the mess he found himself in. He was barely recovering, he was plunged into a new position and he was confused, utterly confused.

“Consider it a temporary position until something else opens up,” Mr. Zackley added. “Given that you just got back from the hospital, it would be better if you started small.” He shot Levi a placating look. “Either way, this is a good opportunity for you, Ackerman…” It didn’t seem so genuine. “To ease you back into the hustle and bustle of working in TV production.”

Zackley spoke for an eternity longer after that but it had done nothing to make the transfer any better.

Levi had been working with that same hustle and bustle for years and he was confident, a three week break at the height of production wouldn’t have been enough to throw him--- hell, most people off completely.

But he was being treated like some invalid. Zackley’s warm words yet his uninviting demeanor sent some alarm bells ringing inside Levi.Mr. Zackley was overly consoling, overly placating and Levi’s mind was racing.

Levi took a deep breath and dropped his shoulders, willing himself to relax and focus on the present. Whatever the catch was, he’d find out soon anyway.

To ease you back into the hustle and bustle of working in TV production.

What a magnificent fucking lie.

“Start small my ass.” With the stress just piling up and his body barely catching up, Levi was tempted to let it out as anything louder, accompanying it with the very dramatic motion of dropping the paper work on the floor and relishing the loud thud. He imagined scattering the pages on the table, spilling them onto the floor and maybe kicking them out onto some curb.

Then he brushed off that mental image completely.

That would only create an unnecessary mess, maybe even cause a scene in that small cafe. Although his life seemed like it was complete chaos, his fastidious side wouldn’t have allowed him to make it any more worse. Then and there, he deemed it the best option to just take a sip of his tea, allow it to warm him up slowly and create a comfortable distraction, somewhere convenient.

A minute or so later, Levi accepted, tea didn’t do too good of a job. After all, what could tea do, aside from supporting him through the long and painful two days of ‘adjustment’ and the journey to the very frustrating conclusion that the general manager of the studio, Mr. Zackley was too out of touch with the struggles of the average worker.

“Just for long enough to get back to the hustle and bustle of TV production? What a fucking liar,” Levi muttered again. He dropped the tea cup on the saucer with a clank.

“Well, technically you are starting small,” Petra said. “They don’t expect too much quality wise from a soap opera on a day time slot.” She flipped through the pages of scripts and the storyboards that formed an overwhelmingly thick pile of papers on the coffee table.

It wasn’t too thick. Levi stared for a while longer and he decided it was a manageable pile of documents. The soft copies on his laptop were also of a countable number.

The deadline to be completely functional in two days though wasn’t as reasonable.

In search of some semblance of a break, Levi shifted his gaze towards Petra.

Her familiar presence had made the job change bearable. A half hearted response with her attention mostly channelled towards the piles of scripts had still been enough to have Levi more at home in the middle of the coffee shop in the late afternoon. “You didn’t even need to transfer,” Levi said. The indignance and the bitterness of a while ago seemed to be mellowing into something almost sweet.

Petra turned a beet red and she put her hands up in defense. “No no… I wanted to. Besides, this type of set is always in need of more people.”

Levi raised one eyebrow in response. Soap opera sets? Or maybe just daytime soap operas in general. Or maybe just that particular soap opera set. He turned back to the pile of papers on the table then back to his laptop.

The pile of papers on the table was the script for that month alone. The folders in the USB were eight seasons worth of soap opera scripts and episodes. Levi was once again reminded why such a project could have been so undersaturated.

Scratch that, he had never forgotten and he didn’t think he would ever forget anyway.

The script for just that month was much larger than the piles Levi worked with at his previous production. By the second day, he was starting to conclude, working with daytime soap operas was turning out to be a grind, a seemingly thankless grind.

Soap operas ran with the expectation of producing five episodes a week with a shoestring budget. The pressing deadlines and just the amount of content that had to be produced meant vacations and holidays were few and far in between for the average employee. And the unreasonable demands usually meant that quality would naturally suffer.

Since he started assimilating into his job, he also started to wonder. What audience were they even producing soaps for in that day and age?

“Do you think you’ll even enjoy this?” Levi challenged.

“It’s too early to tell,” Petra said.

Levi didn’t want to admit it then, but he was convinced that she would even find a way to enjoy it. The question should have been for him. He was the one who could barely even get past the first page of the script.

Petra flashed him a knowing smile, flipping the pages a little faster. She wasn’t reading them and all attention was on Levi.

Her face could have been asking questions. Or Levi could have been projecting. He repeated the question to himself. What now? More specifically, what was he supposed to do?

Then he answered it. Get used to it? Or maybe just accept it as a job. The grind would eventually get less painful he was sure. But would he ever see the beauty in it?

Levi had never taken the time to watch that particular soap opera but he had seen too many in passing to know what he would be working with.

The stories didn’t make fucking sense. The sets were cheaply made. The lights, the cameras and the resources for special effects were far from what he was given when he was still working with the twenty-one-episodes-a-season, one-season-a-year ‘Underground City.”

According to Erwin, they just didn’t have the budget. Besides, the average viewer didn’t expect much else anyway from a soap opera.

Either way, he was still hired as the cinematographer. This is still your job. Levi took a deep breath then exhaled with a soft huff. First things first, he had to familiarize himself with ten to fifty episodes worth of scripts. That night, he would be watching the blocking, the lighting, the editing, the overall production.

That was the job of the fucking cinematographer anyway. Erwin had warned him though, they were severely undermanned in all facets of production, pre production, production proper and post production. And for shows that aired multiple times a week, that meant, the grind wouldn't end.

So he wouldn’t just be the cinematographer.

At the impending workload that followed his orientation phase, Levi closed his eyes tight. For a second there, his mind flew to other opportunities and just the process of editing his CV and applying elsewhere.

Maybe in a year he would reapply, or maybe even in months.

He wondered if Petra was thinking the same thing. If she were, she didn’t make it obvious. Petra enjoyed the production process just as much as he did and she had been the reason he had found a job there in the first place.

“Welcome back to the working world.” Petra chuckled.

Levi blinked back the surprise in his eyes as he was once again pulled back to reality. Admittedly, he was overwhelmed. The weak throbbing returned and after spending too many hours insisting to Petra that he was ready to go back to work, he didn’t think it right to take a break.

He sipped his tea and deemed that a quick break.

“God I miss our tea times,” Petra said, looking pointedly at Levi's tea caup. She flipped the script over and pulled her teacup towards her.

Levi noted the wistful expression on Petra’s face. “I was only out for a month,”

Petra shook her head. “But for a week or so, we thought you wouldn’t make it.” There was a subtle crack, not too noticeable if Levi hadn’t tensed up and watched her closely.

It was bringing up too many unwelcome emotions at once, and somewhere in the back of his mind, a haze of memories aggravated the throbbing in his head.

Levi turned back to the pile of papers. With the amount of work to do, he would never have the time to ponder what happened anyway. In an attempt at digression, he pulled the script towards him, and started to flip the pages, poring over words yet only taking in half of it.

A very boring half.

Eventually, he gave up. “Let’s go back home. We’re not getting anything done here.” He gathered the pages, and meticulously returned them to each envelope.

He was supposed to be reviewing the scripts to get some idea on how the TV show worked. They had chosen to work in the cafe to escape from the bustle of the sets and attempt some productivity. Yet, they had been in the cafe for a few hours already and he still didn’t remember what the story had been about in the first place.

Soap operas didn’t have logical plots anyway. Levi thought to himself. Maybe just accepting could make his work feel more unbearable. He watched as Petra gathered the pages on her end, stuffed them into her bag.

“Sorry, I thought you would have wanted tea. You always liked this place…” Petra was explaining herself. The not-so-eloquent way at which she did it was a distraction. In fact, everything at that point was either a distraction or even irritating. Levi took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let the throbbing take control for a second.

One step at a time. Levi slung his bag over his shoulder. “The tea was good,” he said, more for her than himself. That was a lie. In fact, the tea tasted underwhelming. Tea usually didn’t disappoint though and Levi was starting to suspect the fault was in him. “Just give me some time to get used to life again,” he added, his tone more apologetic that time.

A few seconds or even minutes of reflection later and Levi had to admit, he felt like he really had changed during that break.

Cinematography is visual storytelling. Or so, that was what he had been taught when he started working with TV shows years ago.

When there was no story he could follow, there was no essence or heart to portray. So, Levi naturally approached it like a cold hard science. The hard copies on folders lay abandoned on the coffee table. His laptop remained unopened.

Levi's attention was trained on the big screen. He had silently been sprawled on the sofa since they arrived back to his apartment hours ago. Bundled up in a sweatshirt, legs propped up on the coffee table, Levi was in that convenient trance between relaxing and analyzing.

He had no idea what the couple on the TV had been arguing about. He had no idea who had fathered the large overly tacky baby bump sticking out of the woman.

The latest episode was playing on repeat and Levi remembered two things happening in the past ten minutes. A pregnant woman entering the crappy set of their mansion, hand on her oversized belly and  man looked back at her then approached her, a look of abject horror on his face. He was shouting something, obscenities maybe?

By that point, Levi’s mind started to wander with too many other passing thoughts.

The horror at finding out the protagonist was pregnant was overly exaggerated. Were baby bumps really supposed to be that big? And why did it take them that many months to figure it out? How many pregnancies did the protagonist go through? How many love interests did she have?

Then the cinematographer and the photographer in him took over.

There were more important things to look into. The camera never moved. Levi was familiar with multi camera setups and he didn’t need to think too hard about it. Most of the scenes were filmed in the house, in the office, all conveniently made sets, the conveniently written scripts were written around the shitty budget.

And the high frame rate, in tandem with the inorganic lighting, the lack of special effects and just the lack of some careful camera movement, made the overall story and the overall view, underwhelming, not at all cinematic.

The soap opera effect.

Some wouldn’t see it. Others would probably notice it but not glaringly enough to complain. Levi had worked in film for years and when he would search for the characteristic motion blur, he would immediately find it. The culmination of a simple camera set up, a few sets, a cheap camera, and with a studio and network always in some hurry to cut the budget, the soap opera effect was very apparent.

And they would be expecting the same cooperation from him in putting together a cheaply made production. On the bright side, that meant that despite having to deal with some shitty soap opera plot that didn’t make any sense, he wouldn’t have to do too much thinking with lighting, blocking and editing. Planning sets and scenes would be a light stroll in the park at best, soul suckingly monotonous at worst.

Levi reached for the remote and started to rewind, his interest suddenly piqued.

“So what do you think happened to the baby?” Petra asked. She dropped a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

Levi wasn’t in any mood to eat. More importantly, he in the mood to speculate the cheap excuse for a plot. “Am I supposed to care?” He pulled his legs close to him and leaned further on the armrest of the sofa, giving Petra more than enough space to get herself comfortable.

“Well, you’re working on the set right? Better to at least know the major plot points of what you’re working with.”

“Spoil me,” Levi said.

Petra reached for the popcorn and grabbed a handful. She turned to him, a wry smile on her face. “You really don’t even wanna try to enjoy it?”

“This is a job. ”

Petra dropped her shoulders in defeat. “Well… Hanako gets kidnapped…”

“Hanako?”

“The baby…” Petra answered, looking pointedly at him. “They literally spent an episode discussing the baby’s name.” A laugh was very much evident in her voice.

And there are a hundred episodes to sift through. “I don’t have to know the baby’s name to do my job.”

“The baby will be the main character in the next season. If you have been reading the script--- Or even just following the story...” Petra put her hands out and pointed at the TV, starting to look more exasperated by the minute.

“Okay,” Levi responded firmly, not in any mood to stomach accusations. “Then I’ll learn her name when I start working. Just tell me what I need to know to do my job. ”

Petra sighed. “When we get back on air, there will be a time skip. Then the season post time skip picks up after Hanako’s first day of college. So before that she grew up with her adopted parents who found her abandoned in a box. They went through some tough times financially and in the latest pages of the script she gets a job in a coffee shop.” She turned towards the thick envelope on the table then glanced accusingly at him. “I could have sworn you were reading through that back in the cafe.”

Levi didn’t notice it. He had only half heartedly read the script. Still, he feigned a look of interest.

“Then a lot of the writers quit,” Petra continued. “So a lot of what happened hasn't been written yet.”

Levi flashed Petra a knowing look.

Petra sighed. "Apparently, people were overworked, the job didn't pay much so a lot of the crew, cinematographer, production designers, they all left which was most likely why they put you there.”

Levi only had to look back at his first day and his second day to understand the turnover rate. He had spent a little less than an hour familiarizing himself with systems that seemed to be put into place for show. Soon after that, he was bombarded with unreasonable deadlines, timelines, responsibilities outside his actual job title and a little less than two days to sift through eight seasons worth of scripts.

“And why they easily transferred me. We're really behind now.  Post production for the last few episodes should be completed this week, aired by next week.

"Then we have a hiatus at least," Levi said, repeating it with that same cold professional tone Erwin had used with him on their first day. Except he knew that was a scam too. They would be using that two week hiatus to start filing.

That reminder at least pulled Levi back into reality. He couldn’t flit mindlessly from side to side and clock it up as ‘learning the ropes’ forever. Eventually, they were going to ask him to actually know the ropes. “Erwin said something about me working with production proper and post production,” Levi mindlessly rewinded some of the scenes again. “But they can’t expect me to write the script right?”

Petra shook her head. “No, I don’t think you will,” she said. “I talked to a few of the crew. They said they were hiring a writer. A whole writing crew actually--- And you know, among them, there are rumors about a big name screenwriter.”

Levi raised one eyebrow in disbelief. “Joining the set of a daytime soap opera.”

She put her hands up in defense. “It’s just a rumor.”

“A stupid rumor. What kind of screenwriter in their right mind would want to work here?”

Petra paused for a second, deep in thought. “Fine, it might just be a rumor. Still, ask yourself, why would there be rumors circulating in the first place?"

Levi sighed. “Which screenwriter then?” he asked, mostly in an attempt to humor her. And himself. The fact that a big name screenwriter would work in soap operas, might actually make ‘soap operas’ work.

“Hange Zoe,” Petra said, a wry knowing look on her face. As if it was a name Levi was supposed to know.

“Hange Zoe?” And if he followed the same ups and downs of Petra’s tone, he could pretend it was familiar to his lips. “Hange Zoe,” he said again.

Petra nodded. “The writer of the Titan series? The final movie of `Advancing Titans’ is coming out in the fall.”

Advancing Titans. The name had seemingly come out of nowhere, especially when Levi had already run through a few possible names in his head. Hange Zoe hadn’t been one of them. Although she was a big name in the screenwriting industry for sure, the idea of Hange Zoe working with soap operas seemed almost preposterous.

“Hange Zoe…” Levi said it one more time, in surprise or in some attempt to practice saying it. “You’re seriously talking about that writer?” Levi looked to Petra for confirmation. Hange had only ever written one movie series from a completely different genre, which begged a question.“She has some experience in soap operas?”

Petra unlocked her phone, opened the browser and started typing and scrolling. “No… Just the movies…” she muttered a second later.

“Then why do you think she would suddenly want to work in a cheap ass day time soap opera?”

Petra looked back at him, a dumbfounded look in her face. “But the timing just fits too well. The final movie is about to be released. Apparently, she didn’t renew her contract with her studio. There are even rumors of her leaving the movie industry… And there were speculations and everything.”

“Retirement?” Levi suggested.

“Why retire in your thirties?” Petra said.

“Well, when you’re earning millions per script…” Levi trailed off. Thinking up an argument was too much of a tall order. He continued flipped through channels in silence and he had managed to pick out the movie ‘Advancing Titans’ by just a few seconds worth of a scene.

Speak of the devil.

But it wasn’t strange at all to come across the movies while flipping through channels. After all,  Advancing Titans had become a household name over the past few years.

A person in a green cloak was flying, killing some man eating a zombie. It was a familiar scene, Even Levi, who almost prided himself in never having watched the movies, was familiar enough with the iconic movements, the colors and the insignia on the back.

The wings of freedom. How the hell that was connected to the story, Levi never watched enough to find out. Nor was he interested. Science fiction and fantasy were just never his cup of tea.

If Levi had to guess, soap operas and crime dramas shouldn’t have been big wig screenwriter Hange Zoe’s cup of tea either, especially after dedicating years of her life into a production as complex as a science fiction, dark fantasy cinematic universe..

“Do you really think Hange Zoe can actually work with low budget soap operas?” Levi asked.

Petra shrugged and Levi wondered why he had even asked her in the first place. Of course, she wouldn’t know. Still, she spoke up. “Even if the rumors were wrong and it wasn’t Hange Zoe. The important thing is they get someone to pump out scripts right? And your job anyway is to make sure everything gets filmed.”

“I guess.” Levi kept his eyes trained on the screen. The scene shifted from a forest, to the cobblestoned streets in town. A parade of miserable soldiers entered the town within the walls. The camera focused on a father, who navigated through crowds of people, zooming in one of the shorter soldiers.

Captain, I wanted to talk to you about my daughter… She wrote me a letter… She’s too young to get married.

Something about the expression of the soldier pulled Levi in. For a moment, he was frozen on his seat, completely hypnotized.

Petra’s voice tore into his trance. “That’s one of the scenes I can never forget.”

In some desperate bout of retaliation, Levi switched the channel of the TV. “Let’s watch something else.”

“Why? You okay?” Petra asked.

“I’m fine. I’d rather watch something more productive.” Levi flipped more rapidly through channels. He was tempted to just turn off the TV and call it a night.

“There’s a lot to learn from watching that,” Petra started.

"Like what?" Levi asked, his grip on the remote was still firm.

Petra opened her mouth, then closed it again. She sighed. “It's hard to explain... but remember that scene just a while ago. The father approached the captain about his daughter… She died while fighting the titans and they had to empty the cart so they lost all the bodies..."

Levi kept his eyes glued to the screen, suddenly hyper aware that there might have been a judgemental or impatient look on his face. “Go on,” Levi said, as if that could do anything to placate the discomfort already apparent in her voice.

“I guess the point I wanted to make is…” Petra still seemed far from calm. “Hange Zoe. One of the reasons why she writes really quality works apparently is because aside from writing the script, she’s very hands on with everything from the blocking, to the screenwriting and just the overall production… Which makes the storyline and the movie so gripping. When I watch it, it feels like the movie is peering into my soul or something.”

“Peering into your soul…” It was a tacky choice of words and Levi could only repeat them with some level of disbelief.

“A lot of the novelty of Hange Zoe’s writing… The parts that make it special are those in betweens. The parts she left unwritten... if you know what I mean?"

“That’s cool,” Levi responded, only barely. He switched to their local channel, to the late night reruns of the soap opera. .

“They’re good movies. I don’t think they were overrated," Petra said, a hint of defensiveness in her tone.

"I never said they weren’t good movies."

"You don't seem to want to hear about it at all."

"I'm just not interested. Besides, I'm too busy with work." That was the right moment to feign business. Levi held his phone in front of him, opened up the browser and wrote out a few familiar keywords. The movies of the titan series were all ranging from four to five star ratings. Whether it had been commended for cinematography or writing, he had been too lazy to check the more detailed reviews.

The reviews were most likely raving, sloppily made and potentially biased and Levi didn’t want to hear another synonym for ‘peers into your soul.’

His eyes were drooping, he was exhausted. Petra seemed to be ready to leave as well. But he had some space, he needed some break. And what better way to spend it than to do a little stalking? "Petra, could you send a file of the first movie? I think I might wanna watch it."

"You can stream the older ones on demand," Petra said.

Levi only had to open the menu on his TV to see the option for streaming. Right. Watching movies was starting to feel like a chore though and he was in no mood watching that night.

He didn’t say much else after that and the night ended with greetings exchanged. Petra only lived a few floors below him and it didn’t feel any different from being alone.

Before he knew it, he was half asleep already. He gave up, turned off the TV and allowed himself to doze off. When he came to his senses again, the sun was streaming through the window, and with work starting in an hour or so, he had little to no time to even start the movie.

The set was small. The budget was miniscule. The turnover rate was high.

And for projects that wanted to disguise themselves as official and corporate, it was utter chaos. One week into his job, Levi had to admit, he was reaching too widely, and he was spread out too thin.

There was a semblance of structure within his team. Petra and Eld worked with cinematography, filming and camera management and all he had to do was make sure the blocking looked good, limit the amount of retakes needed. Gunther and Oluo worked in post production and video editing.

But structure was an illusion.

The actors hadn’t arrived yet. Other new roles hadn't been finalized. The script was still unfinished. Yet, they were under the mercy of the vision of higher ups

"We're heavily delayed,’ or so that was what Erwin had explained. ‘Feedback of the higher ups.”

There were deadlines, unreasonable deadlines for the employees, yet a reasonable wait for the average audience. They had less than a month to finish filming and post production for the first few episodes of the new season, less than a week to produce everything for the old season.

When he was in a pseudo-management role, as a cinematographer, it was automatic. When filming, he should be going down to the set. But they weren't filming yet. In fact, there were people in the set not doing anything.

In the chaos, everything didn't seem to add up. So Levi forced one memorandum, one attempt at structure. He would finish the final editing by that night and start the next day with a blank slate. Even if he needed to, he would stay until midnight to make it work.

That new writing team should be coming soon. Levi repeated to himself. Erwin had said so himself, Petra had also mentioned it excitedly over lunch.

All Levi had to do was get the episodes ready for review by the higher ups, then ready for airing then he could start that new season with a healthier approach, maybe find some way to add more structure to his already hectic job.

“Petra, don’t wait for me. I’m working overtime today.”

Petra jumped on her seat.

Levi only realized then, he had come up from right behind her. And Petra had been busy reading through something in her laptop, a quick glance confirmed, it was the unfinished script.

Levi continued. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

Petra looked back at him, a worried look in her face. She opened her mouth to speak.

“Deadlines,” Levi answered.

“You need any help? You know Oluo and Gunther, they can stay too. Or even me.”

“I can finish it myself,” Levi said. He was completely aware either way that it was his job to review everything before anyone else reviewed and before it went on air.

There was an indignant look on Petra's face. But Petra never really imposed. She nagged, doted, argued but she never imposed.

And he managed to pacify her by requesting an espresso and a cup of tea from the tea shop right in front of the studio. Beverages were frowned upon in the video editing room. Levi though was particularly meticulous, he was tired and stressed and he allowed himself some leeway.

Just today. And when they start filming the new season, during the hiatus, Levi would reopen his work with a more organized approach, more suited for his personality. He constantly reassured himself of that as he continued to edit the videos, crosschecking with storyboards and scripts.

Most of the work had been done. Most of the work had been easy to scan through. Still it was hours of sifting through retakes, reviewing and setting them up for reviews and cuts. In the silence, completely alone, He gladly gave the task the required focus, more than enough not to have noticed the sound of the door click behind him.

“This is the coffee you asked for right?” The voice wasn’t Petra’s but still it didn’t seem at all hostile. In fact, the voice seemed friendly.

Friendly enough for Levi to feel obliged to respond.”Thanks.” A new hire maybe? In the one week he had been working there, three people had already quit.

It wasn’t worth a second thought. The important thing was he got his coffee and tea. So he didn’t bother looking up, only looking with his peripherals to see the paper white of the cup just a few inches away. He reached one hand towards the cup and surprisingly, his hand didn’t grasp for paper. It went for something a little softer, something a little cooler but still warm to the touch.

And it moved. A bug? A pest? That had been Levi’s first speculation, being the paranoid clean freak he was. Before his guesses could get anymore creative he looked at the cup and saw the cup was stable on his desk. He had a grip, not on the cup itself but on the other hand which held the cup. The movements were from a hand underneath his..

A wild hand. It slipped out of his grip, and before Levi could pull away, it gripped him in return, squeezing harder on his pointer finger and his middle finger.

For just a second. A painfully awkward second.

A second of realization was all Levi needed to pull away. “May I help you?” he asked. It took a lot more willpower not to curse at that strange invasion of privacy. A second later, reason took over and Levi realized that he was the one who had gripped her first.

He had planned to grip the coffee cup, he justified himself.

“They said… You needed some coffee.” The voice was nonchalant. Yet somehow, nonchalance had managed to make his blood boil. “So I came here to drop it and say hi,” she added, as if that was the most natural response.

‘Say hi’ didn’t usually involve two hands gripping one another, then interlocking. Her hands were still gripping the tip of his fingers and for a second they were frozen.. “Are you always this touchy then?” Levi pressed. Especially with a total stranger. Levi looked up, turned his head towards the voice and confirmed it, she was definitely a familiar face but they were barely even acquaintances.

Brown hair tied up in a ponytail, glasses propped comfortably on her nose and just underneath them, warm brown eyes that had no problem just staring, studying… And in their own way, leaving Levi very very jarred by the mundane gesture called ‘eye contact.’

“I was hoping to talk for a bit,” she said. “If you’re not too busy, we can---”

“I’m busy right now,” Levi said. He pulled the coffee closer to him, suddenly careful when awareness dawned on him abruptly. Suddenly, he was completely aware that the coffee cup was only a few inches away from the computer. “Can this wait?”

Those brown eyes were suddenly wider, a hint of surprise. Then they narrowed at him and Levi felt some pity blanket his already sluggish and aimless movements. Before he knew it, he was very very unproductive.

He had to do something. “My name is Levi by the way.” He was deliberately gentler that time and usually lowering his voice and slowing down did some magic to make him seem kinder than he usually seemed to new people. Or so, that had been what Petra had advised multiple times before.

Levi looked up, forced a subtle smile, a combination between a tightlipped line and crinkles at the edge of his mouth. The most he could manage for a courteous introduction.

Her reaction was unexpected to say the least. He noticed her eyes first, the way they widened. Her jaw dropped. She closed it again, a subtle twitch in her lip.

Did I say something wrong? Levi thought to himself. He looked back at the computer screen. “Levi… Levi Ackerman,” he added. Would that help ease the tension of the room?

Even when Levi started to make a game for himself, playing video edits again and again, he realized he was more focused on pretending to concentrate than in actually polishing the transitions between scenes.

Hange eventually spoke up. “Hello Levi. Nice to meet you.” Her voice was softer in that last sentence.

“Nice to meet you too.” That had been surprisingly difficult to say. He sensed the discomfort in her voice, and maybe he had unknowingly mirrored it.

“My name is Hange Zoe. I’m going to be working as a screenwriter here…”

Oh. Oh. So that’s Hange Zoe. For someone who spearheaded blockbuster hits, who had people talking like crazy over rumors, it turned out she was a very underwhelming presence.

“I’m the cinematographer here,” Levi said. Technically, that was his job title but at that point, he was doing everything. “So I guess we’re going to be working together a lot.”

“We will,” Hange responded. Her presence was underwhelming. So underwhelming that Levi felt no need to even be excited that they had a prodigy screenwriter in their midst. Her voice was soft when she spoke to him. Her eyes were some mix of disappointment, nervousness, uncertainty.

Levi suspected it was her demeanor, her approach towards him that had caused such tension to settle in such a tiny room. “Thank you for coffee,” Levi said. Any nice gesture seemed like a worthwhile attempt to ease it.

A wide smile played at Hange’s lips, still far from what Levi would have considered confident though. “Happy to help.”

That’s the award winning screenwriter? “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“I’m going to be working on a few scripts tonight, have Erwin look at them in a day or so,” she said. Her voice had shifted to something more professional, and her meekness was starting to feel more like a misinterpretation on Levi's end..

“Looking forward to them,” Levi said.

The door slammed behind him, a little louder than the click that followed. The room was dim, it was almost distracting. When Levi turned towards the lights, he considered turning it on, to save himself the discomfort of sore eyes.

He turned his chair, put enough wait into one leg only to notice the sluggishness, the numbness underneath. His legs were jelly. Her hands were trembling and his breaths weren’t coming out in predictable bouts. He turned back to the computer and prepared to review what he had already edited.

The video was playing and Levi was convincing himself that he was productive.

Halfway through the episode, or even a quarter through the episode (Levi wasn’t counting), his mind had wandered. When his surroundings just became a little too overwhelming, Levi let loose just a little bit. He let the heaviness in his chest and the stiffness of his limbs speak for him then.

That voice of a while ago, Hange Zoe’s voice. That voice was nostalgic, heart wrenchingly nostalgic.

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (May 3rd-May 22nd)

Anonymous said:

Don’t Need Burrow to know that Ladybug’s distrust of Volpina will be played off as though she was simply jealous of her because she thought she was going to steal Adrien/Chat, even though she didn’t like Chat! Oh, but she did, she didn’t know it yet. That’s why she kissed him in Dark Cupid!

Not like she didn’t have a bunch of other reasons to distrust Volpina.

(the show also does this a lot where Marinette has an extra reason on top of “““jealousy,”““ like in “Oni-Chan” where the thing she was concerned about actually ended up happening, but the fandom boils everything down to jealousy anyway)

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Su Han will take the Miraculouses from all the girls because he thinks girls don’t have the “physical and mental fortitude” to be heroes, giving them tto guys instead. The girls will find out about each others’ identities and join in the battle to get their Miraculouses back without any powers, led by Marinette, despite the fact that the genre of Miraculous Ladybug is supposedly Magical GIRL and thus the girls being powerful should be a given

(there was another part to this but I didn’t get it all so I clipped this ask a bit so it could work alone)

tbh the true ending should just be Marinette and the girls kicking each misogynist to the curb without any powers, and Su-Han goes last.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Luka and Zoe, from their styles and hints like the ice cream Luka holds in Truth and the flower on her shirt.... I'm sure at this point the writers will either send him on a tour with Jagged, or make him Zoe's bf offscreen somehow... Also more torture for Mari mentally :)

Of course. :)

Gotta make sure Marinette doesn’t have any choice but Adrien. :)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe will be Adrien's new love interest because she's "very sweet". Mari will be okay with it because she feels the Guardian must be alone. (And she's still punishing herself for hurting Luka.) The New-Bee and Chat also bond, making her feel even more alone. (But now Lila can't claim she's jealous and her hold over the class is lessened as Zoe becomes more popular.)

I’m super not here for Marinette punishing herself (and the show possibly presenting it as her “growing up” and “doing the right thing”) and for Ladybug getting jealous over the playboy cat.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Prince Ali/Rose turns out to be endgame, while Rose/Juleka gets Lukanette'd -- their relationship happened mostly off-screen and we only see them pulling apart. Juleka has to let Rose go so she can live out 'every girl's dream', possibly even being put on a bus/written out of the series.

In which the Couffaines aren’t allowed nice things because they’re poor-coded.

Anonymous said:

I can’t believe the Pig’s weapon is ACTUALLY a tambourine. I’ve had that down as my guess for the pig miraculous for ages but I never thought I’d actually be right. On that note - Didn’t Need Burrow: the Ox’s weapon will definitely be a hammer, and the Goat’s might be a shepherd’s crook or grappling hook, and the Rooster’s could be a horn.

Congrats on being right!

We’ll definitely see on the whole weapons things.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: That Rose's mysterious sickness from "Guiltrip" episode will be ignored in other episodes.

Honestly, it was ignored in “Guiltrip” too. Rose’s illness seemed to be related to headaches and then they literally have her headbanging in her transformation.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: After "Guiltrip", the dynamics of Juleka and Rose's relationship will revert to the "romantic standing next to each other somewhere in the background".

Just look at them doing [friendly task]... romantically!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki's comments about not really understanding love are later treated as her being in denial about her being in love with Plagg. Because the two of them are 'soulmates' *just like Adrien and Marinette*, and there's no such thing as a PLATONIC bond. Plus, it's denying another feminine-identifying character the right to define and declare her own feelings -- she's not ALLOWED to not love him that way! If she says otherwise, she's either in denial or mistaken! Or both!

[flashbacks to “Animan” where Alya denies feelings for Nino as being “like a brother to her” and then gets together with him at the end of the episode]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In the upcoming Mr. Pigeon episode, Chat Noir's behaviour toward Mr. Ramier in Lies will not be brought up at all.

Yeah, this is why I knew writing “Lying on the Job” was the right choice. :P The show wasn’t going to do it.

(part of me hopes that this acts as a jinx but I doubt it)

soap-lady said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It will be revealed Adrien always knew about Mari's crush. He tells Plagg it's because not only would rejecting a friend be hard, her akuma would be even scarier than her dad. He later admits at the end of the episode to Plagg that having an "awesome person like Marinette" crushing on him makes him feel good about himself. The show will frame this as charming rather than egotistical.

wow i hate it

throw the whole man away, Marinette

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The "reverse love square" will happen as a result of Adrien being drunk on a love potion/under the control of a spell which makes him fall for Marinette. This will result in Marinette being uncomfortable with Adrien's relentless pursuit of her...AGAIN...which is, of course, played for laughs...AGAIN. Her friends will probably shame her, saying, "why are you so upset? You used to like Adrien and now he's returning that affection! What is WRONG with you, Marinette?". Meanwhile, during battle sequences Chat Noir will be less playful and intrusive of Ladybug's personal space because he's in love with Marinette now and not her, which is good(minus the"in love with Marinette" part, obvs), except that it will cause Ladybug to suddenly fall in love with the new Chat Noir who is being respectful(and "just like Adrien used to act"), and she'll act like a giddy schoolgirl over him, which will be used to humiliate her for comedy as Chat treats her like a freak now. And no, the show will NOT "call him out" for suddenly being averse to the affections of the "girl of his dreams" but will treat him as justified, because guys who pursue girls are gentlemanly and entitled to love back, while girls who pursue guys are pushy and obnoxious. There will even be a lesson on how you shouldn't have to put up with unwanted advances. Chat will be the one to learn it. There will also be a lesson on how you can't force someone to love somebody else. Adrien will be the one to learn it.

Wow, how’d you get the synopsis to Season 5? Impressive! (⊙o⊙)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat will complain about Ladybug not trusting him, so she tries trusting him with further responsibilities which he then shirks, blows off and whines about. Naturally, Marinette is Wrong for DARING to think that her 'partner' should share more of the burden -- no, she HAS to carry everything herself and enable him to keep treating their duty as a game! It's not FAIR for her to expect anything more from him--!

oh my god

he would *gestures loudly to “Lies”*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will *deliberately* mess up a vital task that Ladybug assigned/entrusted him with, either to punish her for some petty/imagined slight (which is treated as Incredibly Serious and Deserving his retaliation) or because he simply doesn't want to have to deal with the extra responsibility. Much like somebody who 'never learns' the right way to load a dishwasher/do laundry/other chores so that somebody more responsible is forced to pick up their slack.

Sounds about right.

“Bonus” if Chat Noir is presented as in the right because Ladybug’s task was “too difficult”/”she didn’t instruct him right”/”you can’t expect him to be perfect on his first try,” or Chat Noir’s shirking is treated as “payback” for something she did that he maybe doesn’t even know about.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette gives up on becoming a fashion designer because her duties as Ladybug/Guardian take priority. Tikki protests not for Mari's sake, but because she enjoys her creative drive/justifies it as a form of honing Marinette's creativity. Thus the lesson is not that Marinette was Wrong because she deserves to have things that make her happy/goals outside of her duties, but because she can fold them into her Greater Purpose.

Miraculous: Tales of Marinette Not Being Allowed to Be Happy

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will be (temporarily) killed during one of his 'Pity/Praise Me!' stints, because he decides that he can't function without Ladybug kissing his ass and she's too busy fighting the akuma to coddle him. Naturally, this is presented as Marinette's F-Up of the Week that she must fix at all costs and apologize for, insisting once more that she 'can't do this without him' despite being constantly forced to do this without him.

It’s Ladybug’s fault that Chat keeps sacrificing himself, obviously! She’s just not telling him not to in the rIgHt wAy, and she should be

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug will finally learn the truth about how Theo was akumatized, but Chat Noir will insist that he didn't lie and that she really WAS to blame for it. And anyway, that was 'so long ago' that she's not allowed to be mad over it anymore. (Bonus: this or other episodes will have callbacks showing that Adrien is still salty over things like being 'stood up', with HIS frustration presented as perfectly valid, as there's no expiration date on HER screw-ups.)

[flashbacks to “Stormy Weather 2″ where Plagg retcons Ladybug’s avoidance of Chat’s date as her standing him up]

+ Yeah, I don’t see Adrien not having expiration dates on his mistakes, and his are always for the better (i.e: stealing the book in “Volpina,” which was wrong obviously, and then Marinette covered for him immediately to get him back into school).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe is given a 'redemption arc' after all... in the vein of her falling for Kim or some other male character and being convinced to change her ways for/by them. On top of being grossly sexist, this lets them slam Marinette even more, painting her as a failure who couldn't help Chloe despite that never being her responsibility in the first place.

“Bonus” if it’s Luka who does it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rather than confirming Juleka/Rose, CHLOE is officially revealed to be a closeted lesbian, retconning all of her bullying into the tried-and-trite 'They're only tormenting you because they LIIIIIKE you'. Bonus points if this is used to reinforce the notion that Chloe is irredeemable because 'Evil Jilted Lesbian can't be saved by Hetero LI'/she lied about crushing on Adrien/other toxic and heteronormative bullshit. AND her evilness is Mari's fault for not loving her back!

It’s always Marinette’s fault for not loving people back.

Also, this just reminds me of how much I hate the “lesbian bully” trope fdkjgdfgdfg.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir throws another Pity Me Party in the middle of a fight; Ladybug is sniped by the akuma while scolding him to stop fooling around. Naturally, this is presented as HER fault for not immediately accommodating his demands for attention. After saving her, Chat mockingly echoes her words about concentrating and keeping her head in the game.

╰（‵□′）╯

EVERY TIME!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe gets another chance at redemption by learning how to mimic Adrien/Lila and feign niceness. Whether or not her 'redemption' sticks depends upon her patience level; if she sticks to it and 'grows' into another Lila/holier-than-thou lecturer like Adrien, it's considered good (and Adrien gets full credit for helping her change 'for the better'), but if she goes back to being *openly* judgy and bitchy, it's another sign that she's 'irredeemable'.

Ugh, when Chloe’s options are either to be a Lila or an Adrien. All I feel is disgust.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square is reversed when Adrien learns Ladybug's secret identity and decides to focus on pursuing her as Marinette. Mari is put off by his advances/still convinced that she can't HAVE a romantic relationship with all her other responsibilities, and is further distracted and concerned by Chat Noir growing distant (as he's bitter over his failures and taking it out on LB/holding a grudge after learning she confided in ALYA and not HIM).

i hate it

And of course the method of “now she’s not interested so I’M interested.”

Anonymous said:

Didnt Need to Burrow: Despite being 'twins' with Juleka, Luka will never show up in another episode. Ever. And the only mentions of him are only about the breakup. Even in Juleka-centric episodes, Luka will only be a passing mention. Oh, and Juleka will 100% stick to just mumbling outside of episodes where shes akumatized. Because gIrL poWeR

I’m honestly just--expecting Luka to have like one/two episodes, maybe to get a charm, and then he’s gone forever.

I don’t know if it’s a mercy or an insult, but the constant mentions of the break-up between Marinette and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Outside-Of-Spiting-Him definitely are an insult.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: "Gigantitan <insert high number>" episode

NO

NO

ANYTHING BUT THAT.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Ladybug and Cat Noir will be able to power up in some way, but they have to form a special bond (this is implied to be a romantic bond). They use this power up to defeat Hawk Moth. bEcAusE tHe pOWeR oF “LoVe” cOnQUerS aLL! Bonus if the characters imply that Ladybug should’ve accepted his affections sooner (Adrien won’t be mentioned at all, i wonder why:p)

I’m cringing so hard right now. I hate everything about this because you sound so correct.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Lila will be written out/ret-conned from a show because she was only a Unredeemed!Chloe stand-in for time of Chloe "redemption arc". Every speculation about Lila (next Hawkmoth etc) will be applied to Chloe instead as a "plot twist".

I’m half-expecting that she’ll get akumatized as a season finale bad guy, then just immediately move.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: Alya is the one who comes up with the akuma repellent charms and Marinette is going to be jealous that Alya is so much a better guardian. Alya'll also probably be able to wrangle the kwamis better than Marinette.

Honestly I might as well just put this one on the card right now. :P

Anonymous said:

Didnt Need Burrow: When Ladybug tells Chat that she told somebody her secret identity, hes gonna be mad, talking about how she broke his trust and the show will portray it as her fault for breaking under the pressure of being guardian. Meanwhile the fandom is gonna be mad at Ladybug. Ignoring, of course, the entirety of the New York Special.

We could sum up the fandom card as just, “Adrien is right and a sad uwu sunshine child, Marinette is wrong and OP and doesn’t give Chat the respect he deserves.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rose's 'mysterious illness' will naturally flare up during times where Pigella might have been useful, with Ladybug getting blamed for her flare-ups/worsening condition.

BANNED

I HATE IT DX

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Building off of the “Adrien knows about Marinette’s crush and manipulated her for it”, any time Marinette does something Adrien doesn’t agree with or disagrees with Adrien himself, Adrien will play the cute, naïve, sad boi we all know and “love”, complete with Bambi eyes and gratuitous long eyelashes, forcing Marinette to give in to what he wants. This is treated as cute, quirky, and hilarious, never abusive, selfish, or misogynistic.

I mean, considering Chat Noir and “Chameleon,” yeah.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: a) Episode, where Chat Noir is even worse than in "Lies" b) Situation where Chat Noir during meeting with Ladybug is like always (M'lady, Bugaboo, unwanted psychical contact etc.) then Ladybug reveals that she recognized him as impostor because "real Chat Noir never will be so pushy" (bonus points if false Chat Noir is akumatized Felix) c) Writers somehow manage to put both above options in one episode (obviously with real Chat Noir being even worse than his impostor)

“Copycat” but worse

differenttriumphdragon said:

Didn't Need Burrow to somehow correctly predict Zoe's identity as a joke based solely on some blurry pictures and an offhand comment about "secret siblings". Like, a YEAR or two ago.

I’m guessing this is referring to the writers creating her?

Because yeah, probably.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: We will get Lukagami. One of the reasons will be the clash of the Tsurugi-Motto of "No Second Chances" and Luka's snake power of "Second Chance" resulting in some weird sparks flying.

*puts head into hands and groans loudly* kill meeeee

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: The Multimouse!Mylene's model will be based on the Multimouse!Marinette's model (in the same way that the Rena Rogue's model is based on the Volpina's model)

plz no

plz

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: Guilt trip hints at Adrien having actual depression, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but knowing the show, two things will happen: 1. His depression will only exist to make people feel bad for him instead of exploring his mental state and seeing him working through it, and 2. his depression will be magically cured when the LS becomes canon because "true love heals all your mental issues".

All of the above, yes. :|

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug gets a fresh new look (for the sake of more Real-Life ML Merch), and Chat Noir gets sulky about it. Both because he didn't get an upgraded appearance at the exact same time (despite doing absolutely nothing to earn it), and because he didn't get any input on her new look. So he passive-aggressively complains about the change, saying he preferred 'classic Bugaboo', and Marinette is presented as Wrong for not letting him dictate her power or appearance.

*stares at “Mr. Pigeon 72″* I’m waiting.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: Imagine after you made that fic where Bustier and D'argencourt get the miraculous they reveal in the show that Bustier's husband/boyfriend/fiance is D'argencourt.

I WILL DIE.

OF LAUGHTER? OF PAIN???

THE ANSWER IS “YES.”

“Bonus” if it’s a DJWifi dynamic where Bustier can get D’Argencourt to do whatever she wants and suddenly becomes aggressive/upset when he doesn’t, which D’Argencourt immediately folds to (because the only “““girl power”““ the show knows is “lol girls are scary when they’re mad”).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square gets 'Reversed' via Alya deciding that Marinette MUST have a crush on Chat as well, since she personally ships LadyNoir. All insistence to the contrary is waved off as denial, and Alya is bound and determined to hook up her BFF with ONE of her crushes, come hell or high water. Thus, Mari gets shoved towards Chat in much the same way she's forced towards Adrien, creating much awkward hilarity at her expense.

Marinette’s entire being: i want to go home

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya learns about Marinette getting jilted by Chat Noir during 'Weredad', possibly from Tom and/or Sabine.  She rubs this into Mari's face as proof positive that she really DOES have a thing for Chat, crowing about how she 'does her research' while teasing her about her awful luck with guys. This casual cruelty is 'balanced' by her insistence that she'll help her hook up with ONE of them by forcing her towards both.

Alya, looking at her plans and just shrugging: Hey, now her odds of getting a guy are doubled as far as I’m concerned.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will insist that all of Marinette's romantic woes are her own fault due to her being interested in multiple guys. (Mainly meaning Adrien and Chat Noir; 50-50 on whether she acknowledges Luka's existence as more than just proof of her 'fickle heart'.) She 'supports' her by shoving her into humiliating scenarios with her love interests, blaming all her failures on her 'divided loyalties' and giving her grief for being a 'dirty two-timer' that can't even get off first base.

Yyyyup.

And of course Luka would only be mentioned to shade Marinette.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki will keep nagging Marinette about her inability to solve her romantic woes until Mari snaps that Tikki doesn't know what she's talking about, throwing her own words about how kwami don't understand love back in her face. Naturally, this is Mari's Mistake Of The Week, as Tikki is driven to tears over the rebuke and all the other kwami get pissed off at Marinette for upsetting her, giving her grief until she apologizes.  Tikki barely apologizes in return, if at all.

Ugh, I am just dreading an almost-inevitable “all the kwami are mad at Marinette” episode, since Marinette literally cannot escape from them since the Miracle Box is in her room.

Anonymous said:

(Mylene's personality anon) Don't Need a Burrow: Mylene's "Marinette's trait" will manifest in Multimouse!Mylene's introduction episode.

Mylene: Soon, I will have successfully swiped a personality trait from each of my friends to form one of my own.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Characters who are popular fandom choices for alternate Miraculous Holders (Bee!Aurore, Fox!Lila, Cat!Felix etc) are akumatized into evil versions of Core Five Miraculous Team (Ladybug, Cat, Fox, Turtle and Bee)

Season 2462 finale.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be more immediate self-contradictions, where Marinette is berated about how something she's doing/done is Wrong, badgered into following somebody else's 'good advice', and then promptly punished for doing so when the results blow up in her face.  These turnarounds will become so fast that they happen within the same episode.  Naturally, this is treated as entirely her fault.

At the rate her treatment is escalating, I would be 0% shocked. Still disappointed, but not shocked.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: It will turn out that the mysterious future Hawkmoth successor that Timetagger talked about is simply the Shadow Moth.

I laughed at this one so hard because it’s so accurate. I don’t know for sure if it’s a reference to the whole “new villain who’s been around since the beginning who just turned out to be Shadow Moth” thing but omg.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The akuma-resisting pendants are used as an excuse to push Marinette even further past her breaking point, subjecting her to ever worse humiliations and traumas.  If the fact that she basically NEEDS the pendant to survive is ever brought up, it's in a chiding way; obviously, as Ladybug, she needs to be mentally stronger than this and not rely on a 'crutch'.  Nobody else is insulted for needed the pendants' protection.

Imagine the pendants as metaphors for medication and this takes on a whole new meaning.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a counterpart to "Chat Blanc", one episode visits a Bad Future where Marinette was akumatized.  Naturally, this is depicted as entirely her fault, with both Maris being raked over the coals.  No matter what the breaking point was, it's treated as though it was petty and pathetic for her to let it effect her so much.  For bonus points, this was at a point after she got the pendant, but she accidentally ditches or pitches it while reacting to whatever broke her back.

Especially with the reveal of two new seasons, I’m very much expecting Marinette to get akumatized at some point.

“Bonus” for a “Miracle Queen” set-up where Adrien needs to wear the ladybug miraculous and is suddenly good at it despite being awful at it before, ala Snake Noir.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will wind up making most of the anti-akuma amulets.  This is purely so that, when they inevitably fail, she can be blamed for it.

It’ll probably be like--Marinette needed to do something specific to make the pendants and they’re “only as strong as she is.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square gets reversed when Alya decides she ships LadyNoir more than MariAdri, pushing her newfound agenda over her BFF's protests.  Meanwhile, Adrien reveals that he knew all along about Marinette's crush, starting to pursue her because he just doesn't uNdErStAnD why she's pulling away, feeling entitled to having her chasing after him even if he never intends to actually reciprocate.  Marinette is caught in the middle and blamed for all this drama.

Marinette, counting down the days where she can finally drink alcohol.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: One or some of Adrien/Chat Noir's past lies gets revealed to Marinette/Ladybug... for the sake of a moral about forgiveness and 'letting things go'.  Meanwhile, he continues to grouse and hold grudges against Ladybug for her supposed slights against HIM without being seriously challenged.

I’m seething.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette is shown a 'better world' wherein she never developed a crush on Adrien.  In this 'better world', Ladybug and Chat Noir are romantic partners.  Bonus points if this pushes forward the agenda of reversing the Love Square by getting Marinette to start seriously considering Chat as a potential love interest, treating this as her 'missing the point' of what she was shown... even if the goal was rather unclear beyond guilt-tripping her for having FEELINGS and DESIRES.

The true goal/moral is that Chat’s feelings are valid while Marinette’s are not.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Hawkmoth will somehow get Black Cat Miraculous and attack as Moth / Cat Fusion (Cat Moth?). After defeating this form, Black Cat Miraculous will be taken from him and without any questions returned to Adrien. Whole thing will happen in one episode.

“Bonus” if Hawk Moth just stumbles upon the ring and doesn’t question it.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: All Ladybug and Black Cat Holders are soulmates/ have gotten romantically involved. This gives Chat even MORE motivation to invade LB’s boundari-I MEAN to pursue her. Also, LB reacts in horror to this (who wouldn’t?) but its played for laughs.

At this point, I feel like this is the only way for them to push the love square as hard as possible. “Chemistry” has just flown out the window and they need a crutch.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Reveal that Rose has rich parents because ML writers can't make sad blond(e) character who doesn't have rich parents (and also to increase the "You see! They love each other despite so many differences between them" factor of JuleRose)

Zag, “Stop Giving Rich Kids Sad Backstories” Challenge.

Part of me imagined an episode that just shipbaits JuleRose constantly, with Juleka constantly asking Luka and others advice on “getting closer to Rose,” which just ends up being Juleka asking Rose to be best friends.

[lestatslestits]

Dear Evan Hansen info dump! Dear Evan Hansen info dump! Pls I saw it in London and fucking despised that show

OKAY sorry this took a while I got tied up at work.

For those unfamiliar, here’s a very basic rundown of the plot as I remember it because I refuse to revisit it.

Content warning for. So many things. Suicide, mental illness, lying, gaslighting, and like. Just a weird song about siblings. I dunno.

So basically there’s this kid named Evan Hansen who has social anxiety and probably depression, and he sees a therapist, who has told him to write letters to himself as an assignment. It’s the first day of school after summer break and his arm is in a cast because he broke it climbing a tree. This is our “hero.”

He’s got a crush on a girl named Zoe (Zoey?), who he desperately wants to notice him but he’s awkward and shy and has a song about it. Zoe’s older brother, Connor, is what happens when 45 year old theatre producers google what a depressed teenager looks like. I think he may actually be described in canon as looking like a school shooter? Even if I’m wrong about that, it’s clearly the intended vibe.

So Evan goes to school with his letter, meets Connor there (who he does not know at all, and that is extremely important), and Connor asks to sign his cast. He does it HUGE letters so it’s impossible to miss, but while this interaction goes down he finds Evan’s letter, which talks about how he has put all of his hope into his relationship with Connor’s sister, Zoe. It’s worded weirdly ambiguously because it’s a surprise tool that will help us later. Anyways, Connor freaks out at the idea of Evan writing about his sister, and he takes the letter.

Later Evan gets called into the office to speak to Connor’s parents, because Connor has committed suicide. And on his person is a letter that begins “Dear Evan Hansen.”

So now everyone is convinced he was Connor’s only friend, and that this was Connor’s suicide note. Connor’s family starts asking Evan questions about Connor and instead of explaining the mixup, Evan just ???? Goes with it???????????? He makes up a WHOLE ASS BACKSTORY about his deep friendship with Connor, writes additional Dear Evan Hansen letters, and develops a relationship with Connor’s grieving family.

A person at school (in the musical the character is a girl but in the movie I think the actor is non-binary and I dunno if the character will be or not) sets up a memorial for Connor and asks Evan to speak. He does, someone posts his speech on youtube, and he goes mega viral for talking about the impact Connor had on him. Suddenly a whole campaign starts, around the phrase “You will be found.”

Evan gets super famous, but his mom and his friend uhhh Jared I think is his name have gotten wise and shit is falling apart.

Okay I did have to google a bit for the ending because I blocked it out.

Ultimately Evan confessed what he did to Connor’s family, because the “suicide note” got leaked online and now people blame Connor’s parents. So he comes clean in a way that is like “I’m so sorry, but please consider that I was sad.”

And they’re mad but they don’t pursue it at all or tell anyone about all of his lies because ???? What are consequences???

Evan’s mom finds out that his fall that led to a broken arm was actually a suicide attempt, so she feels guilty and sad for??? Being a single mom and having to work?????

A year later Evan meets up with Zoe who says that actually everything Evan did was okay because it brought her family closer together, and actually thru needed this.

Evan has no consequences, other than feeling kind of guilty, and the show ends with him writing another letter to himself.

So like.

Where do I start? The weird infantilizing bullshit of a sad white boy receiving no consequences for his actions?

The fact that all of the work on “The Connor Project” is done by the show’s one (1) character who is regularly cast as a person of color, who receives no appreciation?

The fact that, oh yeah, it turns out that Connor was emotionally abusing his sister for years, to the point where she has a whole song about how she doesn’t know how to mourn for someone who has caused her so much pain. Evan, aware of this, uses his own ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR ZOE to come up with a lot of stuff to “prove” that Connor actually cared about her, making her believe that her dead brother who tormented her actually gave a shit, because it helped Evan get a girlfriend. This plot point literally FLABBERGASTS me because I never see anyone talk about it. Also I’m pretty sure the tie-in book tried to retcon this and make it an unreliable narrator thing and in general to make Connor more sympathetic by making him queer???, but it’s never addressed in the musical, so it’s not really possible to consider that canon.

Also Evan sings a song, allegedly from Connor’s perspective, about all the things he (a character who is romantically interested in her) thinks about her....using her dead brother as a mouthpiece???

The fact that Broadway started a whole #youwillbefound movement. That’s right. They started a suicide awareness campaign based off of a COMPLETELY CANONICALLY FAKE CAMPAIGN and people took it seriously, like people who sing The Last Five Years at their weddingsxhhkkgukj

Uhh the fact that the fandom woobifies both Evan and Connor and SHIPS THEM together even though they do not know each other, which is literally the point of the story 🤪🤪🤪

I could go on but damn I’m pissing myself off.

WAIT I forgot to add that @wolfsbaneblooming said she thought the movie trailer was an SNL sketch and she’s RIGHT

Uhh tagging @theclichefortunecookie because I promised an infodump

[dtrhwithalex]

TV | The Good Fight (502)

502: ONCE THERE WAS A COURT...

D: MICHAEL TRIM. W: JONATHAN TOLINS. Original Air Date: 01 July 2021.

Non-spoiler free recap and review of episode two of CBS' THE GOOD FIGHT (2017-) season five.

RECAP

In this second episode we follow two main threads throughout the episode — Marissa and her first week as a lawyer, arguing one of Diane‘s cases in an unofficial court on the one hand, and on the other, the first week of a new associate at the firm, CARMEN MOYO (CHARMAINE BINGWA), in which she becomes the primary lawyer of a convicted murderer.

Among the new associates, Carmen stands out immediately as the singular person voluntarily choosing to be assigned to the case of OSCAR RIVI (TONY PLANA) who was convicted and imprisoned for murder. Due to the invalid ID of BARRY POE (TYRONE MITCHELL HENDERSON), the lawyer she is meant to accompany and learn from, Carmen meets with Rivi and his translator by herself and decides to ignore Barry‘s advice of not saying anything. Instead, she makes it her mission to actually help Rivi. Because she speaks Spanish she is able to properly communicate with him and, meeting with another convict imprisoned for similar crimes, is able to bring her case to court to prove the wrongful conviction of her client.

Meanwhile, Diane has Marissa accompany her associate PHOEBE (ZOE MANN) and their client TONI HEDGER (HEATHER BURNS) to court where they were summoned by the people suing Toni. However it turns out that the judge summoning them does not work in the regular courts. Following clues and signs marked with 9 3/4, Marissa and Toni eventually end up in an improvised court room in the back of a copy shop, where HAL WACKNER (MANDY PATINKIN) presides. Judge Wackner is unlike any lawyer in an official court — he hits his gavel on a bell on his desk, indicating a point having been scored by either side, which is then marked on a scoreboard to his left.

Diane who, once she arrives, does not fare well in this type of court, is incredulous when she finds out that Toni would prefer their case be decided here than in any other court. Eventually, at the suggestion of Judge Wackner, Marissa takes the lead on the case while Diane has Jay investigate how long Wackner has been holding court like this. With the young associate in the lead and Jay‘s findings, Diane and Marissa manage to sway Wackner in their favour and he rules accordingly.

During this first week, Diane and Liz also have to deal with the issue of Adrian‘s absence and the image the firm wants to uphold. After talking to Julius, as well as CALEB GARLIN (HUGH DANCY), who Liz had a fling with in an earlier season, Liz decides she wants to hire Julius as a senior associate. Meanwhile, Diane decides that she wants the two of them to decide on a third equity partner, and that this person would have to be African-American in order to let the firm remain a Black firm. However, she also makes Liz promise that she would not be pushed out of her name-partnership for this same reason.

REVIEW

I thought this was a very interesting second episode for this season. After the first episode provided a wrap up of last season and a review of the events of the past year, this episode already brings us back into the thick of it. I really enjoyed Marissa's story thread of this episode. Although I really liked her as an investigator, seeing her as a lawyer now is really intriguing and I am curious to see how that'll go for her.

I am already a huge fan of Mandy Patinkin's lawyer character. I think he is hilarious. I loved that Marissa took very quickly to his style of doing things and that Diane did not cope at all at first. Just goes to show that we do things for so long in these ways of "it's always been like this, it can't be any other way, this is how it's done" that we forget there are always other options, other ways of doing things, that work just as well, or even better. I thought it was great that, thanks to the intel Jay collects, Diane does find a way to communicate with Wackner after all, but she still lets Marissa take the lead on the argument. I really hope we get to see more of Wackner's court and especially Marissa practicing law there.

I also quite liked the character of Carmen. Although I can understand the criticism that she seems to be just a replacement of Lucca, I thought she was an interesting addition to this set of main players in this show. I am very curious to see where her philosophy of treating every client, no matter the severity of their actions, as a human being, will take her and if she will be able to sustain it. There was also something about her that I found suspicious and I do wonder how much more there is to her than appears to be on the surface. I think that might be something that may come up in scenes with Liz, because their current character dynamic would allow for it the best, probably.

I am also curious to see how the relationship between Liz and Diane will develop or change due to the whole situation concerning a third equity partner for the firm, and the firms image of being a Black firm, and how that clashes with the fact of Diane as a name partner. I also wonder how much bringing Julius back into the mix is gonna upset the current order of things.

This show falls a bit outside of the kind of shows I usually tend to watch, I think, but I am enjoying it quite a lot, and I am very intrigued by it. Looking forward to the next episode, definitely.

[still image taken from the episode's imdb page]

[bijvoorbeeldja]

Sobbe enemies to lovers

Robbe IJzermans could not stand Sander Driesen.

He hated his stupid leather jacket and his black boots, both of which announced his presence with annoyingly-omnipresent sound.

He hated the several-inch height he had over Robbe, always towering over him in self-assumed superiority. He hated how cool he thought he looked, in his Bowie t-shirts and box-bleached hair, girls trailing after him like groupies.

It made him sick.

Despite his disregard for Sander, the two had practically grown up together, sharing the same hallways at school, occupying the same classes, mixing in similar social circles. But really, they couldn’t have been more different. While Sander was loud, overly-confident, and snarky, Robbe was small, quiet, and didn’t thrive on being the center of attention. In fact, when he’d come out a few months before, he kept to himself even more, trying to distance himself from unwanted scrutiny. And for that and many other reasons, he avoided Sander Driesen any chance he got.

That is, until one biology class in October when he’d gotten in trouble for talking too loudly with Zoe. The two always sat together in their shared classes, having grown close when Robbe moved into the flatshare with Zoe, Senne, and Milan. They were in the midst of excitedly debriefing Milan’s date the night before, sharing details they’d gathered from their conversations with him. The teacher had been handing out assignments for a big, upcoming project to the seated pairs when she called out the two for their disruptive discussion.

“Loockx, IJermans, split up, please,” she’d finally announced, exasperated. “Zoe, please go work with Britt, and Sander, come up and pair up with Robbe. Maybe then you’ll actually get some work done.”

Annoyed, Zoe slumped her shoulders and started gathering up her books. “Yeah, I sincerely doubt it,” she said under her breath to Robbe, who smiled briefly before wishing her luck. “I bet Sander will have fun,” she offered quickly, resigning herself to the back row.

Robbe scoffed at her lame tease, but Robbe couldn’t escape the dread that was filling his stomach as he glanced back at Sander. With a cigarette tucked behind his ear, partially hidden in white locks, he gathered his bag while winking at Britt, who blushed.

Robbe groaned. Seriously? How could this be happening?

He turned back toward the desk, bracing himself for what was surely going to be a tortuous affair. Glancing over the pages of the assignment the teacher had distributed, his stomach dropped even more. It was a long project, surely demanding lots of time and effort, even more now that he’d probably have to do the whole assignment himself.

“Hey, Robin,” Sander said, finally appearing at his side. Slamming down his books on the desk and sitting backwards in the chair next to Robbe, he straddled it with the obnoxious confidence of someone who lived a middle-finger-to-the-world lifestyle.

Robbe rolled his eyes and kept flipping through his own textbook, determined to get a jump on the assignment, with or without Sander’s help.

“So, yeah. This is going to be a lot of work, so we better get started,” Robbe began, not looking at Sander. “We can just divide it up and do our own halves separately so that–”

“We could do that,” Sander said, interrupting him with a pointed smirk. “Or, we could work on it together. That is, if you trust me not to mess it up.” He was smiling, making Robbe roll his eyes again.

“Well, since you mention it, you’re right,” Robbe said, looking at him full-on now. “I don’t trust you.”

Sander’s smile faded, and he swallowed. He looked into Robbe’s eyes silently for a moment before speaking. “Maybe you don’t know me well enough to trust me, Robbe.”

Robbe furrowed his brow, not dissuaded by Sander’s genuine and suddenly out-of-character tone.

“I know you, Sander,” Robbe stated. “I’ve known you pretty much my whole life and I feel like I’ve got a pretty good read on who you are. So forgive me for not having the capability to trust you.”

With heat rising to his cheeks, Robbe slammed his book shut and started shoving books and papers into his bag. Then, the bell rang. Robbe didn’t waste any time leaving Sander behind.

This was going to be the longest four weeks of Robbe’s life.

........

All Robbe wanted to do was go home, climb under his covers, and sleep for days. Just a few weeks into the school year, and he was already drowning in work, stress, and insomnia. Plus, now the situation with his mother was creating additional worry that kept him up late into the night, rubbing dark circles into his eyes and straining aches into his shoulders.

But he couldn’t go home, not yet. He knew that once he walked through the door, Zoe would force him to eat a sensible dinner, Senne would assault him with questions about the dark circles under his eyes, and Milan would sit on the counter, talking endlessly about why he was so happy to be done with high school. He loved his flatmates, but for now, he had a mountain of work to do, and needed a quiet space to make a dent in it. 

So after classes ended, he collected all of his books and headed to the library, settling into a carrel near the back. It wasn’t like the library was crowded or anything. It was Thursday, and most of his friends and fellow students felt the weekend close enough that they gladly relaxed their grip on schoolwork stress and started going out. But still, Robbe felt more comfortable tucked away in the back of the library, so he could focus fully on his work.

Pulling out his books and pen, he took a deep inhale and started working.

…….

After two and a half hours, Robbe’s eyes were starting to glaze over, and he felt himself re-reading the same sentence in his textbook over and over again.

He needed to stretch his legs, get his blood moving again. Plus, there was a reference book he needed, so he allowed himself a quick break to get up and search the stacks. Wandering through the various genres of books, he stopped at a chemistry section, searching the call numbers for the title he needed. He was brushing his hands over the spines, getting closer when he heard muffled voices from a few stacks away. He was surprised anyone was still there. Some librarians, maybe, re-stacking leftover books or wiping down tables. But as he listened, he could’ve sworn he recognized one of the voices. Rounding the corner, he knew why. 

It was Sander. Robbe jumped back behind the shelf, making sure he couldn’t be seen. He could not deal with another “Hey, Robin!” encounter right now. Of all people, Robbe thought, it had to Sander. Sander was sitting with a boy a few grades younger. The boy had a textbook open in front of him, and Sander was leaning over gently, pointing out something on the pages to the boy, who was nodding. Robbe could only make out a few words of what Sander was saying, but he heard enough to gather something that made his mouth drop open slightly. It was biology. Sander was tutoring the boy in biology. 

For a few moments, Robbe could only stand motionless, trying to understand what he was seeing — and hearing. Absent was Sander’s usual bravado. Instead, he was smiling sincerely, talking quietly, and clearly, obviously teaching something well. Seemingly right in front of Robbe’s eyes, Sander’s usual cooler-than-you edges were worn down to reveal something much more real. Handsome, even.

That thought jolted Robbe back to his senses. Handsome? What was he talking about? Clearly, he had been studying too long. He was tired. He needed food. But as he headed back to his table and started to pack up his things, his thoughts were swirling. It didn’t make sense to Robbe, what he’d just witnessed. All this time, he had come to know Sander to be obnoxious, loud, and self-centered. The kind to skip school to smoke cigarettes….not help tutor other students. Sander was the one who would have meaningless hookups at parties, blast Bowie from his car driving out of the school parking lot, tease Robbe endlessly. But what he just saw….that was a different Sander. 

Maybe Robbe didn’t really know him at all. 

……

When Robbe got to biology the next day, Sander was already there, sitting in his seat next to Robbe’s, doodling something on the corner of his paper, lost in focus. He briefly looked up with Robbe sat down, shifting his books slightly to cover the drawing. 

“Robin,” he threw Robbe’s way, his mouth lifting in a small smirk. 

Their teacher entered the classroom, shuffling to her desk and immediately calling out to them to spend the period working on their projects. 

“Use your time wisely!” she admonished. 

Robbe swallowed and turned toward Sander.

“Sander, look I—”

“Don’t worry, Robin,” Sander interrupted. “I already started working on my half.” Sander took a handful of papers out of his bag, waving them in front of Robbe. Robbe was momentarily silent as he glanced at the papers, covered top to bottom with Sander’s handwriting, a neat scrawl that again surprised Robbe.

“Oh, wow,” Robbe finally said. “I didn’t think that you—”

“That I’d actually do anything?” Sander smirked again. “Like I said before, maybe you don’t know me quite as well as you think you do, Robbe.” Robbe met Sander’s gaze, his green eyes vibrant, piercing. Robbe just stared into them, trying to find his breath again. 

But before he could, Sander spoke again. “I’ll make sure to get all of my half done before the due date. Don’t worry about it.” At that, Sander turned back to his paper, resuming his drawing. 

Robbe just sat there, trying to hide his shock and growing humiliation. He glanced back at Zoe, desperately wishing for her help. But she didn’t meet his gaze. She sat, elbow on the desk, chin in her palm, looking bored as Britt told a story, her hands gesturing widely. 

Sander and Robbe spent the rest of the period in silence. 

……

Robbe felt like crap.

Sander had openly called him out on being judgmental, and okay. He had been. But before these last few interactions, Robbe wouldn’t have thought twice about what he’d said. He’d known Sander all his life, hadn’t he? He’d seen what he was like. The two had essentially been rivals for the majority of their lives. But now, Robbe felt like everything was off. Sander wasn’t pestering him with comments about his small size, or the long hair he’d had several years before. It seemed like...Sander was trying to be civil. 

Sure, Sander probably just wanted to stay on good terms for the duration of the assignment, not making things more difficult for either of them with endlessly unproductive back-and-forth banter about how much they disliked each other. Clearly, from what he’d seen yesterday at the library, Sander was smart. He must care about the assignment, and in general, his grades. But some small part of Robbe felt like...maybe...maybe Sander did want some sort of friendship with him. Okay, maybe not friendship. That was going too far. A mutual respect, maybe? How could Robbe cling to his stupidly stubborn pride when Sander was (albeit unconsciously) offering his own version of a tiny olive branch? Yeah, he knew what he’d seen of Sander. But deep inside, he knew it wasn’t all of him.

….. 

Robbe hadn’t gotten to talk to Zoe the whole period, so he waited after class for Britt to leave so he could detail his weird interactions with Sander. But to his surprise, it was Sander who approached Zoe first, giving Britt a small kiss on the cheek before telling her he’d see her around. She left the room looking a little deflated. 

The room was empty, and Robbe didn’t want to wait around, so obviously eavesdropping, so he went outside, pausing to wait at Zoe’s locker. Robbe waited, those few minutes annoyingly long. What could they even be talking about? 

Then suddenly, Sander exited the classroom with Zoe, the two laughing about something. Great, they have inside jokes now, Robbe thought. That’s just super.

“I’ll text you later, then.” Sander said, and Zoe nodded. Then he turned and started walking down the hall, those damn boots echoing through the hallway.

As Zoe approached Robbe, she started to speak quickly, seeing Robbe’s frustrated expression, and arms folded tight across his chest.

“Robbe, it’s not—”  

“What the hell, Zoe?! Did Sander seriously just try to ask you out?” Robbe spit out, his voice rising. “Everyone knows you’re with Senne! The nerve of that guy—”

Zoe took another step toward Robbe, reaching out to put her hands gently on his shoulders, smiling slightly.

“No, Robbe,” she said calmly. “He wasn’t asking me out. Relax. He asked for my help with something.”

“Are you serious?” Robbe asked. “What?”

She smiled again before answering. “He asked if I could help him bleach his hair.”

……

It was Saturday, and Zoe had been in the bathroom with Sander for over an hour. Sander had come over early, while everyone was eating breakfast, greeting the roommates with croissants before waving a paper bag full of boxed hair dyes at Zoe. 

“You ready for this?” He’d asked, smiling.

Robbe rolled his eyes, hiding his frown behind his coffee cup, pulling down his boxers to cover more of his exposed body. He could not believe Zoe had let Sander come to their flat, knowing how much he tortured Robbe. 

“I promise you it will be way easier than mine!” laughed Zoe, turning one of the boxes over in her hands, looking over the instructions briefly. “You have way less hair than I do.” 

She took another sip of her coffee, gave Senne a quick kiss on the cheek, and motioned for Sander to follow her to the bathroom. Sander glanced over at Robbe before he followed, smiling at Robbe’s tousled bed head and giving him a quick wink, eyes glowing fiercely green. Robbe just blinked, feeling so out of place with Sander in their apartment. When the two blondes were gone, Milan gasped. 

“Who was that?” he asked excitedly. “He’s hot!” Senne laughed.

Robbe rolled his eyes again, groaning. “Don’t even start with that, please. He’s this obnoxious kid from school and he should not be here.”

“I didn’t mean hot for me, Robbe.” Milan stated. “I obviously meant hot for you.”

Robbe nearly choked on his coffee. “What are you talking about, Milan?” 

“Uhm, that obviously you two are going to be making out in ten minutes,” Milan said, as if it were the most decidedly obvious matter.

“Milan!” Robbe hissed, his face started to burn with humiliation. “Could you talk any louder?!” 

“Sorry,” Milan said casually, shrugging his shoulders. “But it’s true. The tension between you two is insane.”

“You are ridiculous, Milan,” Robbe said with a huff. “I hate Sander and he hates me, so. That’s that.” Robbe put his cup to his lips again, trying to calm his hands. 

Milan turned to him, looking confused. “Hates you? No. No, not a chance,” he said decidedly, picking up a croissant. 

“Why do you say that?” Robbe asked, bewilderment — and slight curiosity — now pricking at him. 

“Uhm, because we all saw the way he just looked at you,” he said, motioning around the room, as if a crowd had gathered. He took a bite of croissant. “That was clearly the look of someone who is into you...and just doesn’t know how to show it. Which makes sense. You are a bit...prickly, sometimes.”

Robbe could not believe what he was hearing. Milan was delusional. He needed to go back to bed. Grabbing his mug and what was left of his toast, he shook his head and got up to go back to his room. As he exited the doorway of the kitchen, Milan called out after him, “I will require a plus one on my wedding invite, Robbe!” 

Robbe gasped, sprinting back to hurl his toast at Milan, who ducked, laughing loudly.

Robbe groaned again, shaking his head as he finally made it to his room. Opening the door, he immediately jumped back, coffee sloshing out onto his t-shirt. Sander was in his room, and he was half naked. 

“Uhm, what the hell?” Robbe called out, and Sander spun around, quickly pulling a towel towards his chest. 

“Sorry, Robbe,” he said sheepishly. “I should’ve asked you. Zoe just told me to get undressed in here so I wouldn’t get bleach on my clothes. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine,” Robbe stammered. “I—I just...you surprised me, that’s all.”

“Well, that’s obvious,” Sander smiled, motioning to the coffee stains spreading across his shirt. He grabbed his own Bowie shirt he’d left on the bed, handing it over to Robbe. “Here. Use mine.” He hesitated briefly. “But, then again, it isn’t a size small. You might drown in my clothes.” He was actually grinning now.

Robbe felt warm all of the sudden. He didn’t know if it was hot coffee seeping onto his body through his shirt, the sight of Sander’s tan skin, or the thought of wearing his clothes that was making him flushed. He was so infuriating.

“I don’t need your clothes, obviously,” Robbe shot back. “This is my room, remember? I have clothes here. Which I wouldn’t even need if you hadn’t gotten naked in my bedroom and shocked me into dousing myself with coffee.” Robbe was flustered, and Sander just smiled at him, his grin widening. He was taking a step towards Robbe, when Zoe called out from the hallway. 

“Sander? You coming? I have everything ready.”

“Be right there,” Sander answered back, eyes still locked with Robbe’s. For a second, Robbe thought he was going to say something, but while Robbe stood there, waiting, Sander exhaled and walked past Robbe into the hallway, brushing his arm with Robbe’s as he went by. 

……

Robbe could not fall asleep that night. 

Maybe it was the fumes from the bleach that were keeping him up. Zoe had cracked the windows in the bathroom while dying Sander’s hair, but still. The smell permeated. 

He just laid there, tossing and turning, trying to quiet his head and get the images from the day to clear from his mind. Well...just the one image. The image of Sander, shirtless, in his bedroom. He flopped on his back in frustration, internally writhing with shame that his mind was somehow hitching back repeatedly on these overpowering visions. Sander was always wearing that stupid jacket, the stupid boots, the stupid band t-shirts. It was his persona, his identity. But seeing Sander like that, unmasked, uncovered, and just...bare...it was too much for Robbe. He couldn’t stop thinking about the taut muscles of his biceps, his abs, the golden skin that contrasted with his white hair. Hair that now, when Robbe thought about it….didn’t look that bad at all. 

When Sander had left his room, he’d shut the door tight, avoiding Sander the rest of the morning. He couldn’t bear to face him again, likely saying or doing something stupid he’d regret. He just put on his headphones and tried to block out the sounds of conversation from the bathroom. He’d fallen asleep before Sander left. And now, sleep fled from him. He wanted so badly to close his eyes and get lost in meaningless dreams, letting the ridiculous thoughts about Sander slip into nothingness. He wanted to forget about it all. 

He and Sander were enemies. They were supposed to avoid each other at all costs, and when they did cross paths, they were to simply call out their usual insults to each other and move on, carrying on with their own separate lives.

But here they were, getting thrown together again and again in the space of a week, and Robbe wasn’t sure he could bear it. He wanted things to go back to normal. Robbe IJzermans and Sander Driesen, rivals. 

Just as this thought crossed his mind, Robbe’s phone buzzed from his bedside table, briefly lighting up his room in a blue neon glow. He reached out, opening the new message that pinged on the screen. It was a number he didn’t know.

Hey, Robin. It’s Sander. Zoe gave me your number. I just wanted to say sorry, again, for today. I shouldn’t have gotten into your personal space. 

Robbe’s stomach lept. Him. Again.

His fingers hovered over the keys. Should he answer? His mind swirled with competing thoughts. Finally, a thought settled on him. Maybe in order to get through the next few weeks with Sander unscathed, he just had to play nice. Avoiding him didn’t seem to be working, obviously. Maybe, he thought….maybe he should just lean in. Be civil, do the work, move on. That’s it. 

He typed back a reply before he could stop himself, then quickly turned off his phone and rolled back over in the bed. He tried to squash down the anxious feeling budding inside him. 

It’s okay, Sander. 

Also, I was thinking. I think we should work on the biology project together. Let’s talk tomorrow at school?

……..

Robbe’s palms were embarrassingly clammy as he knocked on the door to Sander’s flat. He wiped them on his jeans, berating himself for acting so ridiculous. He’d told Sander he wanted to meet up, after all. 

When he’d turned on his phone the next morning, he saw that Sander had replied immediately to his last message, shooting back Good idea. See you Monday. 

Sander had greeted him with a sheepish smile in class the next week, immediately jumping in to explain what research he’d done for the assignment so far. They’d settled quickly into easy conversation, exchanging ideas and letting the class hour pass rapidly. As the bell rang and they started to gather up their things, Sander had turned again to Robbe. 

“So, do you want to work on this more after school one day this week?” He paused briefly before continuing, looking at Robbe for confirmation. “We could...work on it at my house? Friday? My parents are going out and won’t be there to bug us.” He laughed.

Robbe smiled, but felt anxiety creeping up on him. 

“Uhm, yeah. We could do that.”

“Okay, great.” Sander said, pulling his bag up on his shoulder. “I’ll text you my address.” He smiled once more at Robbe before turning to leave. 

While Robbe finished packing up, Zoe appeared at his side.

“So, what exactly happened in your bedroom yesterday?” she asked, 

Robbe dropped his book on the desk, a loud smack echoing in the room. 

“What?” he said, startled.

Zoe laughed. “Sander told me that you walked in on him naked, and today...you guys seem chummy. What’s that all about? Was Milan right? Did you two make out?!” Her voice was getting louder, squealing at even the briefest thought of scandal. 

“Oh my gosh, Zoe. No!” Robbe shot back, trying to keep his voice level, while heat flooded his cheeks. “I kicked him out of my room and took a nap. That’s all.” 

Zoe’s shoulder slumped. “Dang,” she said with a huff. “I was hoping you two would finally do it and get it over with so you could stop torturing us.”

Robbe turned toward Zoe straight on. 

“What are you talking about?!” Robbe said, nearly yelling now. “Did Milan talk to you? I’m not sure why you two are so hell-bent all of the sudden on insisting there’s some sort of love connection between the two of us, but I can assure you, there is not.”

Zoe looked at Robbe skeptically, nodding with a Right. Sure. look as he spoke.

“Plus,” Robbe continued, arguing his stance. “He’s hooking up with Britt anyway. He’s not even into guys!”

“You’re not serious, right?” Zoe asked. “Everyone, literally everyone knows that those two aren’t hooking up. Even if Britt wanted that.” Zoe confirmed. “Believe me, all she talks about is boys. I’ve gotten the complete story on all the guys in her life the past few days. Sure, she and Sander have flirted, but it’s never been anything serious. I think she’s into some college guy….” Zoe trailed off, trying to remember specifics. “Plus,” she said, returning to the conversation again. “Sander is pansexual. Everyone knows that.”

Was he? And why was Robbe stomach suddenly leaping at this?

“I don’t believe you,” Robbe countered, brushing his dangerously wandering thoughts aside. “In fact, I don’t believe any of this. You and Milan are crazy.”

“Aw, you’re cute when you’re in denial,” Zoe cooed before turning on her heel and leading Robbe out into the hallway.

Now, days later, Robbe was standing in front of Sander’s door, his classroom conversation with Zoe tangling in his thoughts as he tried to level his shallow breathing. Then, the door opened, and Sander was standing there, in a Queen t-shirt and jeans that hugged his legs and made Robbe’s breath hitch in his throat. Stop staring, he commanded himself. Sander smiled and opened the door wider, motioning for Robbe to come in. He took off his shoes, placing them next to Sander’s boots that were parked by the door. Those damn boots.

“So I figured we could just start by comparing notes and then flesh out an outline for our paper?” Sander offered, leading Robbe into the flat. Robbe nodded in agreement, but didn’t speak, taking in the layout of Sander’s house. 

For all the things that Sander knew — or thought he knew — about Sander Driesen, he couldn’t have expected this. The flat was warm, cozy, and well-designed. There were soft couches and artsy interiors to his right, and an open kitchen to his left. Pictures torn out of sketchbooks — images surely done by Sander — lined the walls in frames.  

Catching Robbe staring at them, Sander laughed. 

“My parents are annoyingly proud,” he said. “I promise, I didn’t ask them to put these up.” He smiled, watching Robbe slowly walk down the hallway, looking at each one. Sander put his hands in his pockets, seeming sheepish now.

“They’re good,” Robbe finally admitted, turning towards Sander. “You’re really talented.”

The slightest of blushes crept to Sander’s cheeks, but he looked down quickly and cleared his throat. “Do you want anything to drink? Water? Soda?”

“Water’s fine,” Robbe answered. “Thanks.”

While Sander filled a glass in the kitchen, Robbe sat down on the living room couch, shrugging out of his jacket and taking out his books. Sander came into the room, leaning down to hand Robbe the glass. When Robbe grabbed it, Sander gasped.

“Whoa,” he said, startling Robbe. 

“What?” Robbe asked, worried. “What’s wrong?”

Sander smiled. “It’s nothing. It’s just...your hand.”

“My hand?” Robbe asked, confused. He put the glass down on the coffee table next to the couch, lifting his hand to his face, confused.

Sander laughed. “Sorry, I just meant...here—” Suddenly, Sander grabbed his hand, his skin warm and soft against Robbe’s. Pulling it gently towards him, Sander turned his hand over and began tracing the lines on his palm. Lightly brushing a finger over a line near his wrist, Sander spoke. 

“Your fate line, this one here,” he said quietly. “It’s a little curved, just like mine. I’ve never...I’ve never seen anyone else’s look like that.”

Robbe didn’t know if he was breathing. He swallowed, trying to push out the words hanging on his tongue. Sander was still holding his hand with his.

“My fate line?” he finally asked, a little weakly.

Sander smiled. “Yeah, have you ever read about that? Palm reading?”

“No, I haven’t.” Robbe replied, trying to ignore the warmth spreading from Sander’s skin to the rest of his body.

“Yeah, I guess it’s kind of silly,” Sander said, brushing his finger again along the other lines on Robbe’s palm. “My mom was into it for a while. The lines and folds on your hands are supposed to form narratives about who you are and predict your future.” He smiled again, continuing with the lightest of touches. 

“There’s your fate line, head line, life line, sun line….and heart line,” at this last one, he traced the top line, closest to Robbe’s fingers. He looked up and Robbe felt his gaze on him. Meeting his own eyes with Sander’s, his stomach flipped.

 Their brief silence settled there, almost crackling between them with electricity. Robbe watched Sander’s eye slowly roam his face, flicking down almost imperceptibly to his lips. Before Robbe knew what was happening, he yanked his hand from Sander’s grasp, turning back towards his books. 

“So, anyway, we should probably get to work,” Robbe said in a firm tone. 

Sander was still for a moment before clearing his throat. 

“Robbe, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“You know what, Sander?” Robbe said, rising to stand. “This was probably a bad idea. I should...I should go.”

“What?” Sander stood, stepping towards Robbe. “Robbe, I—”

But Robbe stepped away again, hastily stuffing his books into his bag and zipping it forcefully. 

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Sander.” 

Before he reached the door, Sander called out behind him. 

“Robbe, wait.” 

Robbe was turning the handle. 

“Robbe, stop.” Sander’s voice was firm, deep. Robbe didn’t turn, but paused with his hand on the knob. He waited for Sander to speak again.

But it wasn’t his voice that reached Robbe. It was his hands, grabbing Robbe’s waist and flipping him around. Suddenly, all at once, his lips were on Robbe’s, hands reaching up to tangle in his hair, gripping a handful of locks tightly. 

Robbe’s surprise only lasted for a second, as he, without a second thought, opened his lips to Sander’s and wrapped his hands around his back. Feeling his touch, Sander pushed him hard against the door, bringing them even closer. Limbs tangled feverishly, fueled by a heavy need that surprised them both. Sander’s lips enveloped Robbe’s, explored them, held them, like he never wanted to let go. 

Robbe’s insides were like fireworks. Electricity coursed through him, bringing to life his every nerve, every muscle, every feeling. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. Sander slid down the side of Robbe’s face, kissing deeply into his cheek, his jaw, then his neck. Robbe let a small hum of pleasure escape his mouth, making Sander pause. His face still tucked into Robbe’s neck, he let himself catch his breath.

“Robbe,” he whined, whispering gently against his ear, his cheek pressed to Robbe’s. “Are you always going to hate me?”

Robbe pulled back slowly, letting Sander’s question hang in the air between them as he looked back at him. He tried to take deep breaths, form coherent words in his mind. When he faced Sander head-on, Sander’s face bore an ache, the ache of vulnerable, pleading, longing.

“Look, I am sorry for always teasing you, Robbe,” Sander said gently, stroking Robbe’s jaw with his thumb. “For joking about your size, for calling you Robin,” Sander smiled at this. “I don’t know why I did that for so long. I just…” 

Robbe waited, breathless. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He looked again into Sander’s face again. How had he never noticed that freckle on Sander’s cheek? Or how his eyes were more forest green than he’d thought? Like moss, soft, yet vibrant. He couldn’t believe he’d never really seen Sander before. Not like this.

“The desire just made me crazy,” he said, exhaling, trying to get the words right. “The tension between us just made me want you even more. But I’m not someone who’s good at just saying when they want something,” Sander continued. “And I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

With one last glance into his eyes, and with a new need that he couldn’t even understand, Robbe grabbed a fistful of Sander’s shirt and pulled him back against him. 

…..

After a while, the messages were getting hard to ignore. 

When his phone sounded a near endless buzz, Robbe had to finally get up off the bed and make sure there wasn’t an emergency. But not being in the tangle of blankets didn’t last long, as Sander quickly tugged on his shirt, pulled him back down into the bed against him. Wrapping his arms around him again, Sander sighed contentedly. 

Robbe smiled, turning to meet Sander’s lips for one quick, deep kiss before turning back to scan his messages. There were a handful from Milan, Zoe, and Senne, all checking in on his whereabouts. 

Zoe: r u coming home soon? I made dinner

Zoe: hello? 

Zoe: hey! r u ok? 

Senne: hey man, u ok?

Milan: stop studying and come home to rescue me. Zoe’s trying to feed us all salad SOS

Zoe: Robbe! Let me know ur ok please!

Senne: can you text Zoe please? She’s freaking out

Milan: uhm, hello?

Sander glanced over, laughing. 

“They care about you, a lot.” 

Robbe smiled back. “Yeah, they’re pretty much my family now.”

He pulled away only briefly to fire off a rapid group text to Zoe, Milan, and Senne: I’m ok. I’m at Sander’s...Be home tomorrow.

Silencing his phone and tossing it across the room and out of sight, he let Sander tackle him back down into the mattress, hovering lightly on top of him.

“Well, I hope they don’t mind sharing,” he purred, leaning into Robbe’s ear. “I don’t think I’m going to let you go anytime soon.”

Robbe melted underneath Sander, allowing him to match the rapid flutters in his stomach with a trail of kisses to his collarbone, his neck, his jawline, and finally, his lips. 

……

It was late the next day when Robbe finally got back to his apartment, with flushed cheeks and donning one of Sander’s t-shirts. He hadn’t wanted to leave Sander’s. In fact, Sander had begged him to stay, attempting to persuade him with soft, fleeting caresses along his thighs, lustful nips at his neck, and gentle tugs on the waistband of his underwear. It was driving Robbe crazy, and he almost couldn’t resist. 

After talking for hours on end, Sander laughing about their decade-long stand-off and the sexual tension he swore was there between them from the beginning, he admitted easily that he thought Robbe’s long hair was sexy, and he loved that he was small enough to be picked up and carried to the bed. 

This made Robbe laugh, a bright blush creeping up into his cheeks. He told Sander how much he loved his drawings, and that he knew how smart he was. He sheepishly admitted that he hadn’t stopped thinking about Sander’s abs since that moment in his bedroom. He wasn’t, however, relinquishing his hate for his boots, though. That was non negotiable. Joking about throwing them out the window, Sander shoved Robbe playfully, pushing him down to the mattress, pinning his wrists above his head in submission. 

Eventually, their talking had turned into kissing, then slowly into touching, and they spent that whole night, and nearly the whole next day exploring each other, learning and re-learning their real selves in relation to the other. It felt like magic.

But as the sun set on Saturday night, Robbe finally pulled himself out of Sander’s grasp, promising with a nearly never-ending series of kisses that he’d be back. 

As soon as he entered his apartment and shut the door, his three roommates bolted from the kitchen, crashing into each other as they collided in the hallway. When they saw Robbe, they started screeching, yelling and talking over each other.

“Oh. My. God. Robbe!” Zoe squealed, running up to him.

Milan leaned against the wall, clearly pleased with himself. “I told you. I so told you. Okay, so it was more than ten minutes. But still. I am always right about these things.” Senne stood next to Milan, smiling widely. 

“Okay, okay, calm down!” Robbe shouted, shushing them with a wave of his hands. “Calm down. It’s not a big deal. It’s—”

Zoe squealed again, bringing her hands to her face. “Oh my god. You are so in love with him, aren’t you?”

Everyone quieted, listening for his answer. Robbe could only blush.   

With more loud talking and excited chatter, Robbe let his roommates pull him into the kitchen, eagerly awaiting a full minute-by-minute detail of the last two days. 

“What happened?! You have to tell us everything,” Milan pleaded. “Seriously. Everything.” 

Before he dove in, he checked his phone. A message from Sander was waiting for him:

Our next study session is in my room, tomorrow. Don’t be late, Robin.

Robbe fired back. 

I think we’re going to get an A on this assignment. 

.................

OMG you guys I am so nervous to post this, I desperately hope it doesn’t disappoint. But plz let me know what you think — I need the feedback! And send me more of your prompts!! <3

[livlepretre]

can you explain your drafting process & how you planned fairytale ending? that fic is huge

absolutely! 

usually, some spark of an idea or a scene will be the first thing that inspires me to write a fic-- in FE’s case, I woke up the morning after The Reckoning aired and immediately wondered, but what if Klaus had actually kidnapped Elena? 

So, with that initial spark in mind, I’ll usually go ahead and write that first bit that initially jumps out at me-- just to get the ball rolling, and to take advantage of that first bright burst of creative energy. In FE’s case, that’s pretty much the first chapter. This is when I’m just focused on setting the mood of things, setting the atmosphere, throwing in little snippets of conversation-- whatever first jumps out at me about an idea, and whatever excites me the most. (In SWBS the first scene I wrote was actually the scene in chapter 9 or 10 when the nurse asks her if she could be pregnant and she’s like, no waayyyyy.) 

Eventually there comes a point where I run out of steam, usually somewhere between 500 and a few thousand words in, and that’s when I turn to outlining. 

I’m one of those people who really can’t write at all without an outline. Like, yes, I can meander for a few thousand words, but I just can’t go forward unless I have an idea of where I’m going. Sometimes that changes-- it’s certainly changed in FE plenty of times-- because the story will go in unexpected directions, but having an idea of where the story is heading is key. 

I’ve discussed my outlining in strenuous detail here, with actual screenshots of my outlines, but basically, I have three levels of outlining: 

1) The overall outline-- this is just a bullet pointed list of the general arc of the fic-- my original idea for FE was pretty simple-- it was literally just a bullet pointed list of where I wanted the relationships to go, and didn’t even really include any of the big plot or action points. That all came later-- which makes sense, because the main thing that motivated me to write and excited me was exploring the relationships. 

Here’s a screenshot of the original outline from like 2011 (I cropped out the last few bullet points because believe it or not they’re still relevant for where I want the fic to go) -- obviously some of the plot points never happened, and it’s just an incredibly loose outline 

2) The next step is to divide the fic into general arcs or parts-- and to figure out what items from the general outline go in which part, and to start fleshing them out. This is when I start thinking about things like: who are the antagonists? what are the big action sequences? what are the big events that will actually shift things? the really exciting scenes that I daydream about while doing the dishes or in the shower or whatever? 

I would say my original idea for FE’s parts were: 

I. The manor stuff with Klaus/Rebekah/Stefan vs. Elena getting very lonely 

II. Elena has her affair with Tyler 

III. The Miscarriage 

IV. The part we’re on now, which I actually refer to in my mind as the Chicago arc, even though we’re not in Chicago hahaha -- but, Elena/Rebekah vs. Klaus/Stefan 

V. The ending 

As I was writing certain things came up-- 

Daggergate occurred to me during the hiatus between chapters 6 & 7 (Tyler was originally slated to die in chapter 41 but I found out he died on the show and I decided I couldn’t kill him, and then I had the idea that if Elena could save him, that could be a major victory for her, and I realized I could sort of invert that scene when Klaus kills Zoe and instead have Elena run and be the one to slay him), which led to the Exile arc, and inserting the miscarriage into that arc. I think the idea that Rebekah would be the one to break Elena out of her exile came to me pretty early on into thinking about that?? Unclear though because it took me like two more years of writing to get that far. 

I impulsively added in the first Nola arc literally at the point when I was publishing it, because I wanted to write about Nola and because Klaus and Elena had become unexpectedly close in the fic (in my original idea I don’t think they ever hook up or kiss and Elena certainly doesn’t fall in love with him-- I’m so glad we got this FE and not my original idea). Oh! And also I wanted to do the gold dagger but at some point I realized that the only feasible way to get a hold of it would be to actually go to Nola so off we went. 

2nd Nola arc was based on a comment asking me about the bloodstone, which made me realize that 1) I really did want to go back to Nola to tie those things up, especially with Marcel and Davina 2) the bloodstone would be a great diversion from that gold dagger, and 3) it had occurred to me at some point that Mikael would be undaggered if this is a 3x05 divergence and I wanted an opportunity to introduce him as a Big Bad for the last part of the fic 

So, the arc outline developed into: 

I. The first manor arc, ending with Elena breaking things off with Stefan (and therefore moving on) 

II. The first Nola arc, ending with Elena creating the bloodstone and attempting to recurse Klaus 

III. The second manor arc, with her affair with Tyler, discovery of Klaus compelling her, rising out of her depression through art, ending with Klaus inevitably calling her back to Nola

IV. The second Nola arc, with bloodstone 2.0, plus the Abattoir battle with Mikael and Team Mystic Falls, plus Daggergate (I’m sorry I’m probably never going to top this...) 

V. The Exile-- the miscarriage, the years in solitude, and the slow rise from the depths-- ending first with Rebekah coming for her, and secondly with Mikael and burning the mansion down and daggering him 

VI. What I think of as the Chicago arc, but could easily be the Coven arc or the Family Four arc or whatever... this whole weird false detente we’re in 

VII. The Rest of the Story 

This is also the point in outlining, when I’m developing the next arc, where I like to write a list of all of the characters, and write a little blurb about what their motives are. It’s really helpful for me to come up with what’s going to happen if I have a really clear idea of what everyone’s goals are-- so, for example, in the 2nd Nola arc, it was something like: 

Klaus wants to free the loup garous from the curse and turn them, and he wants Elena (and maybe to recruit Davina to him) 

Marcel wants to reobtain the bloodstone with Elena’s help, and use it to finish the spell to rebind Klaus’s werewolf side and ultimately kick him out of New Orleans

Stefan wants to protect Elena from the scheming, and potentially run away with her if necessary to get her free of it all 

etc. 

This is especially helpful because it can point out where the conflict-- and therefore the interest-- is going to come from in the story. If I notice too many people are in agreement on their goals, I think about who might actually disagree with the others, and what their reasons are for doing that. This is a big help, and whenever I feel stuck writing, it’s usually because I haven’t clarified to myself well enough what everyone’s goals are. (You can imagine that this is a huge mess right now with all of my notes on what Elijah wants and Klaus wants and Rebekah wants and etc and etc heading into FE 59!) 

3) Finally, after the arcs are sort of outlined, THAT’S when I draft the actual chapters, chapter by chapter-- I literally go through and write “Chapter 59″ and then put a bunch of bullet points under it with what I want to happen in the chapter, as well as all the other chapters in the arc-- all the while, knowing things will get added or shifted or deleted, as things occur to me or as things move away from the direction I expected. I often assign a color to each chapter outline so I don’t get confused. 

The advantage of writing a story like FE is that it’s serially published-- I can think about things and brainstorm as I’m going, and if I’m daydreaming sufficiently far ahead, I can feather things in early-- like, all the stuff about the dagger was planted like in chapters 22-24, or the stuff about Elena having a history of missing her periods was because I knew she would miscarry without having realized she was pregnant. 

Also, I reread the story once or twice a year and take notes every time I do it. A lot of times there will be totally random lines that I just wrote for atmosphere or whatever that can be construed as foreshadowing if I add something in later-- I honestly can’t remember at this point whether or not I had already decided to have Elena burn down the manor when I wrote the scene during the 2nd manor arc when Tyler warns Elena about catching the house on fire-- maybe I had, but I definitely latched onto that later when I made that decision to go ahead and do it (or it’s possible that that line actually gave me the idea?). I’m a very slow reader so this is usually a fairly painful process for me, as I’m always impatient to actually write, but since the project has taken me so long, I feel this is a really important aspect-- just, becoming intimately familiar with what I’ve said, and what the exact emotional arcs are, taking notes on who knows what, and looking through the old writing with fresh eyes/my mind focused on where I’m going now to see if I unintentionally said something that could build on what I want to write about going forward. 

I guess my last note is that if you can, it’s good to let your stories marinate. Like, yes, work on them when you get that ZOOM rushing creative energy and excitement that lights a fire under you... but if you don’t have it right away... that’s okay. Daydream about your work. Flesh the story out in your mind. 

I ran out of steam on FE like three hours into working on it back in 2011, and I somehow knew myself well enough to know that I didn’t have the attention span or the ability to juggle 2 wips at once. So, naïve college student that I was, I decided I would finish After the Fire, But Before the Flood and then focus on FE. I ended up having a lot of RL stuff for years and years taking the bulk of my attention, and it took me years to write and publish the last couple of chapters of ATFBBTF, and then I only ended up publishing FE because a fandom friend kept asking about it, and that finally encouraged me enough to dust off my notes and work on it again in March 2016. But the thing is, during all that time I wasn’t working on it, I was daydreaming about it. I was building this whole story and thinking about all of the wild arcs I wanted to include and letting it flourish in my thoughts... so it was ready to go when I had the time and the chance to work on it again. 

And it’s grown a ton since then, and become a much richer and fuller story than I ever thought I could possibly write, and a lot of that is just realizing that stories take time. I’ve been lucky to work on this serially and be able to continuously build on what I have and try to always think about how I can incorporate the happy accidents of the early writing into current writing decisions. And also lucky that I’m relatively slow to update, so ideas often occur to me years before I’m able to get to them so I can start hinting at them relatively early. But, a lot of that really is just happy accidents and taking my time. So, one of my main pieces of advice is to take advantage of the fact that fic inherently gives you an indefinite window of time to build the story. 

I hope this has been helpful to anyone interested in writing a long fic. I’ve had no idea what I was doing most of the time, but it’s been a great deal of fun. 

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

[opalescient]

the most beautiful actual book recs — pride month edition 🥰🌈✨

june 28 is a big day in pride history; on this day in 1969, patrons of the Stonewall Inn and other bars decided to be a catalyst for change and stand up against the police raids targeted at members of the lgbt community. they are now known as the ones who inspired the lgbt protests. so in commemoration of their bravery, here are some lgbt novels! lack of media representation is real mans. i hope you guys like them 🤍

we are okay by nina lacour ☆

You go through life thinking there’s so much you need…

Until you leave with only your phone, your wallet, and a picture of your mother.

Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone from her old life since the day she left everything behind. No one knows the truth about those final weeks. Not even her best friend, Mabel. But even thousands of miles away from the California coast, at college in New York, Marin still feels the pull of the life and tragedy she’s tried to outrun. Now, months later, alone in an emptied dorm for winter break, Marin waits. Mabel is coming to visit, and Marin will be forced to face everything that’s been left unsaid and finally confront the loneliness that has made a home in her heart.

TW: depression, grief

hi this is my favourite book of all time

this book was the (very tearful) final step of my pansexual awakening :”)

lesbian and so FUCKING BEAUTIFULLLL

you will finish this in one sitting. bet.

favourite quote: “I was afraid of how we lived without opening doors.”

they both die at the end by adam silvera

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today.

Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day.

you’ve probably seen this on booktok

made me so angry-sad??? because can we only truly live in the face of death?????

also gay. i love how personal and realistic it is, but how could you rip them apart like that???

favourite quote: “We were all lost and okay with not being found for a while.”

how it feels to float by helena fox

Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn’t be here but is. So Biz doesn’t tell anymore anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn’t tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface— normal okay regular fine.

But after what happens on the beach—first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

TW: grief, trauma

the emotion in this book. so vivid and raw.

very unique writing style that nailed every single emotion and thought and wow i am in love with this book

made me feel so full of love at the end 🥺

favourite quote: “I think of hearts in bodies and the rhythm inside us we don’t get to choose.”

the hand, the eye, the heart by zoe marriott

Zhilan was assigned female at birth; despite an unusual gift for illusions, they know they will live out their life in the perfumed confines of the women’s quarters. But when civil war sets the country aflame, Zhilan is the only one who can save their disabled Father from death on the battlefield.

By taking his place.

Surviving brutal army training as a male recruit – Zhi – is only the first challenge. Soon Zhi’s unique talents draw them into an even more perilous fight, in the glittering court of the Land of Dragons, where love and betrayal are two sides of the same smile. The fate of an Empire rests on Zhi’s shoulders. But to win, they must first decide where their loyalty, and their heart, truly belongs.

TW: mentions of prostitution, rape, war, slight ptsd

mulan, but make it trans. and better.

i love the ambiguity and fluidity written into the non-binary character!!! tied with the morally grey plotline!!!! nice!!!!!!

also i would say that there’s a major plot twist but i CALLED IT

there’s a happy ending for this, disney style, but still sooooo good ☺️✨

favourite quote: “People trust their eyes above all else— but most people see what they wish to see, or what they believe they should see; not what is really there.”

[callmemythicalminx]

Musical Review: Dear Evan Hansen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So. I finally succumbed and watched Dear Evan Hansen. I felt at least that it deserved a watch if only for the music as it’s been praised and achieved such great acclaim. And for the most part, I can see why. The songs are catchy and memorable and I found myself enjoying Sincerely, Me more than I thought I would. Requiem is beautiful and You Will Be Found packs an emotional Act 1 finish if you were to listen to it without context. If this were another show, I probably would have cried during most of these songs. Throughout the show, I found myself quite detached from the music. The reason why? The story. The characters. The message of the whole show- It ruined what could have been a great representation of mental health and suicide in a musical.

The story starts off with our awkward and only slightly memorable main character, Evan, preparing to start his first day of Senior Year. We’re introduced to him as he types himself a letter, an assignment given to him by his therapist who is forgotten about once the show gets going. He has social anxiety, stumbling over his words and panicking about what could be, as he fiddles with his broken arm and feet. As someone who has experienced many forms of anxiety myself, I connected with this fear immediately- this, however, didn’t last for long. We meet his mother Heidi, who brings the audience more information on just how scared Evan is of people, that he can’t even order food out of fear of talking to the delivery man. Once again, another situation which I relate too. Heidi is one of those stereotypical parents used in shows, who works too much, isn’t really as close to the kid as they think they are and is, of course, separated from the other parent. She sings her struggles after pushing Evan to get his fellow students to sign his cast to make friends and then we move to the other important household of this story, the Murphy’s.

We meet another stereotypical family, a mother who’s trying, a father who’s present but miles away, and the kids who hate each other. Connor is our next big character though he’s reduced to just a prop essentially after 10 minutes. He’s a loner and an aggressive bully to everyone around him, getting high and ignoring his parents. He and his sister Zoe argue, while his parents do the same. Cynthia, the mother, sings about her struggles and then the show continues. Evan interacts with two new characters at school, Jared (a douchey family friend) and Alana (a self-absorbed classmate). They both notice his arm in a cast but don’t sign it. Connor then comes along and in a fit of rage, thinks Evan is making fun of him and pushes him over. Zoe sees and apologises for her brother’s behaviour. After singing about how miserable the rest of his life will be if it continues this way, Evan then writes another letter about how bad the day was. It focuses on Zoe quite a bit as he has a crush on her and it’s the only thing making him happy. Connor comes in then and signs Evan’s cast in giant letters, before finding a printout of the letter than has just been written. He immediately gets angry again and storms of with the letter, thinking Evan was once again making fun of him. The cast and letter now become huge props in the story.

The story continues as we find out Connor has committed suicide and Evan’s note was found with him. The Murphy parents believe it’s their son’s suicide note and now think he and Evan were best friends, further seeing proof of this when they see their son’s name on his cast. Our main character tells them it’s true and kickstarts a seemingly neverending cannon of lies in an attempt to help the family with their grieving. Throughout most of the show, he then tells them more lies about what they did, the places they visited, including specific detail on an apple orchard where they spent time together. He enlists the help of Jared and Alana to help him write fake emails from Connor to himself and further build his web of lies. This eventually leads to the creation of The Connor Project, a kind of charity to keep his name and ‘story’ alive, raising money to reopen the apple orchard. During this time, he’s distanced himself from his mother, instead now enjoying the attention he gets from the Murphy’s and Zoe, who is a weird romance becomes his girlfriend. The character of Connor has now become nothing more than a prop for use in the show, though his actor still shows up after his death. Instead of continuing the character though, he’s now become a figment of Evan’s imagination, a version of Connor that has been made up and is nothing like the one before. Though the show’s story follows the idea of not being forgotten and keeping his story of suicide alive, in actual fact, it’s just being erased as everything that he was is replaced with lies.

Eventually, as the Murphy’s begin to suffer the consequences of Evan’s actions receiving online hate, he finally reveals that everything was a lie and that he and Connor were never friends. At this point, I was expecting the punishment for his actions to be huge- but there was nothing! He sings once more about his miserable life while the family turn on him in disgust. He and his mother then forgive each other for both of their wrongdoings after revealing more information that doesn’t make much difference to anything and then everything is fine. The show finishes with Evan and Zoe talking one last time at the apple orchard, where he thanks her for keeping the secret of his lies and she responds that it brought their family together. After she’s gone, Evan writes a final mental note talking about the impact he’s had and that he’s finally accepted himself… and that’s the end!

What in the hell was that? It’s not often that I get to the end of a show and think to myself ‘what just happened?’. I took nothing away from this story or the characters. There wasn’t a single thing in the musical that I liked, apart from the music. Most of the characters were bland and stereotypical in personality and the others had no redeemable qualities to make them interesting or likeable. First and foremost, I dislike Evan… a lot. The character’s bad representation of social anxiety doesn’t excuse his manipulative and awful actions to get himself more attention. His romance with Zoe feels forced and almost predatory in a way as he used her grieving, emotional vulnerability to get close to her. He suffers no consequences for his actions, though they had a tremendously bad effect, yet the show pushes the audience to think that they somehow created positive change towards the communities view of suicide. Because of his lies, an entire boys life was erased and fabricated into something else. His family ended up receiving copious amounts of hate online ‘for not looking after their son’ which you would think would lead them to reveal the truth about Evan’s deceit- but nope, ‘it brought them closer together’! The apple orchard reopens yet that feels uncomfortable as it was funded by the charity of people believing the manipulative lies of one teenager.

What is the message of this show? What am I supposed to take away from it? ‘You Will Be Found’ could have been such a powerful song in a different show, one that uses the theme of mental health in a proper way. I detest the fact that Connor’s suicide simply becomes a plot device and is overlooked as Evan spreads his lies. We never find out why he killed himself, which further makes his character’s erasement more annoying and stupid. I think the show definitely believes it’s being progressive by discussing these themes of mental health, but it’s just using them. Instead of showing something beautiful, to show no one with mental illness is ever truly alone, the show instead feels cold. Evan, Jared and Alana all seem to use Connor’s suicide to advance their own selfish reasons. After the damage is done and Evan moves on, the Murph’s are left to continue picking up the pieces, lying about a fake version of Connor. I would have loved to see more of his character, see the reasoning for his suicide. We saw from his short time on stage that he was angry, abusive and aggressive but this is never explained why.

The story could have been so much better if while Evan spins his web lies, he ends up finding out more about Connor and his own mental health issues, maybe through a diary or something similar to Evan’s letters. Our main character could have then realised that others feel the way he does and what he was doing was wrong. He could then understand that suicide is never the right answer and that he’s not alone. He could have suffered real consequences before telling the world about the real Connor and what they should learn from him. Instead the show tried to push this positive ‘you are not alone’ message from a false version of a character, made up by someone who is manipulative and selfish.

I know I’m one of few who dislike the show and that I’ve been very harsh with it, which is completely understandable. Everyone has different opinions, which is why I love being part of different fandoms so much. I really thought I’d relate to it after suffering through school with mental health issues myself but it just made me angry. I’ve always thought that especially nowadays, suicide and anxiety are always portrayed unrealistically in entertainment and media. There are very few things I can think of that do it well. A musical with a powerful message and story like the one I described could have been amazing, especially as love for musical theatre continues to grow. Instead, Dear Evan Hansen fails to represent even realistic mental health issues, never mind anything positive to help deal with it.   I just can’t like this show now after seeing how badly it portrays these themes, especially male suicide and anxiety. In our modern society, it’s still a huge problem and a show that could have been there for young teenage boys who deal with these issues could have been incredible. Teaching them that suicide isn’t the answer and there is always someone who can help you would have been not only great to see, but revolutionary in getting people to discuss this complicated and emotional subject. But instead, we got this story. As I said, the music is exceptional and, if you didn’t know the context, could be super useful in helping you feel less alone. The story and characters ruin this positive idea though, instead using mental health as cheap prop for a terrible story and characters.

🌟 🌟 /5