#actually it'll make you sad
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if star wars was pitched for the first time in today's entertainment industry it would be turned down. and so would any other thing that's currently a "big IP". where do idiot executives think the IPs come from to begin with???
#entertainment industry#animation industry#hollywood news#not art#this isn't common knowledge to most people so it's my mission to let people know just how bad it is out there#if its original its not getting picked up. if it does get picked up somehow it'll be cancelled by the second season.#unless its a shitty celebrity nepo project or the gazillionth generic Edgy Adult Animated Comedy with the fugliest art style you've ever se#n. how do we Great Chicago Fire all of hollywood. anyone got a cow and a lantern? we can do it.#maybe TWO cows and TWO lanterns#god the industry makes me sad. especially the animation industry its basically fucking dead#it literally IS dead actually. like. we lost cartoon network guys its over. indie is the future and the only future i guess#do you know how many animation folks are out of a job rn??? nobodys fucking hiring there aren't any jobs to begin with#nothing good will be coming out soon. i fully expect the animators to strike this year#capitalism kills art the CEOs are minmaxing profits to the extreme etc etc burn it all
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theyre touching tails and looking at ducks together now. tomorrow they'll braid each other's hair and decorate it with kelp ribbons
#this is my canon#part of me imagines that garu had this floatie and lent it to yakumo for the trip#does yakumo know how to swim? we don't know?? best to be safe! TAKE THIS LIFE PRESERVING MELON#he busted into the room while blade and oli were lending yakumo beachwear LOL#where did duckeito come from#had i not already settled into fisheito. duckeito would have been an excellent alias......#the day after these two braid each other's hair#they'll do that thing that the whales and dolphins do with pack hunting#but it'll be the villagers. lure them farther out from shore.. then CHOMP em#but not actually. because these two wouldn't hurt people. 🙄#so i have to imagine them doing the pack hunting techniques but..like...to actually...help someone?#maybe they'll see that same sad kid that umi saved#and the kid is like :( no fish means no dinner :( i'm so hungry :(#and THEN these two suckers will pack hunt and make lots of fish wash ashore for the kid#and the kid's like yeaay!! i get to eat today!! thank you blue merman and long merman!!!#and yakumo's gonna eventually work up the courage to ask umi#if he feels weird about dooming other fish to the dinner plate#and umi's like *shrug* circle of life and all that. also fish yokai vs fish are pretty different i guess#and yakumo's like *sweat* if you say so (he will hesitate to eat fish for the remainder of the trip)#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival umi#mirage of scales
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I think the most upsetting thing about being a recovering addict is seeing how other people talk about addicts. A vast majority of Americans fucking DESPISE addicts and they are constantly demonized at every turn, God forbid that addict is homeless. It's honestly shocking to see how fast addicts are brought up as a "gotcha" to shoot down arguments for social or housing programs.
Like damn, I'm already dealing with trying not to abuse this substance and getting my life together, which is hard enough on its own, I don't need the knowledge that the average person thinks I am the scum of the Earth. I don't like knowing that if I am ever homeless or in a tough living situation, I will be one of the first people thrown under the bus. I'm already going through enough, I'm already the victim of a very upsetting illness, I don't need to deal with the vile hatred of the average person in my country, too.
#simon says#i wanted to vent because i saw a post talking about 'i would rather help everyone. even addicts too' and I was so upset#like that is such an odd thing to clarify but also they had to because you just KNOW if you dont it'll be assumed they're excluded#or people will write comments wanting to exclude them#and it's so fucking sad and upsetting#ill see posts saying to make things better for homeless people and a majority of the comments are arguing because addicts are mean#'oh they dont wanna get better' if I was homeless my sobriety would be the first thing out the window#it's just so upsetting to see and hear nearly every other day#like im suffering from a mental illness that makes me crave and want to actively abuse substances that harm me#and im the bad guy here???#im the bad one for destroying my body because my actual brain demands it??#fuck you.
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The sick feeling you get in your stomach as an undiagnosed/closeted autistic hearing friends/loved ones make fun of or talk about "what's wrong with" the openly autistic people you know
#sometimes I think about telling certain people and then I'm reminded why I shouldn't <3#em rambles#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autistic things#ableism#even the people who do know are still iffy sometimes like you may think 'I usually don't get along with autistic people' is a compliment bu#it just makes me uncomfortable lmao#idk it's just like. yeah I don't 'seem' autistic with great intentionality around certain people because they've shown#me how unsafe it is lmao#I just hate that people think you're just quirky and different until you put the autistic label on it then there's something WRONG with you#or say you couldn't be autistic because there's nothing WRONG with you you're not THAT bad you're not LIKE THAT#I mean like. ideally I would like me telling people to expand people's ideas of what an autistic person looks/acts like but the sad reality#is that it'll just end in either disbelief or bullying#most likely#you know in ratatouille when remi thinks humans aren't so bad and then his dad shows him that shop with the dead rats and rat poison and#traps and the next morning remi tries walking down the street and people scream and throw stuff at him and call rats disgusting creatures#and he says 'I was reminded how fragile it all was'#that's the vibe as a closeted autistic lmao#you find people who accept you and think maybe it's not that dangerous. maybe it'd be okay#and then other people remind you why you mask in the first place#my autism is the rat hiding inside my hat
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The more time I spend explaining Tolkien lore to my brother the more I realize that Tolkien was just batshit insane
#yes the world is flat and a globe at the same time#and yes if you go off the edge you fall into the void with Satan 1.0 (assuming the Straight Road doesn't just railroad you)#he calls Valinor “The place under some trees where everyone smokes weed” and honestly I wish they would do that instead#bilbo and frodo bring weed to valinor quick#i tried to explain the miriel-finwe situation and he's so confused#“so they died and they were all sad even though they didn't have to stay dead?? but she couldn't come back because he remarried??”#“but then he dies and says 'yo ill stay dead instead' and she's find now??”#does the big God just keep making elf and human souls or do they just. appear#i told him about Gil-Galad Son of Plothole#he is quickly realizing that yes#the valar are a bit incompetent#its fine#elrond's dad is a star his mom is a bird and his great great grandma is an angel#my sister gave up two seconds in despite sparking this by asking me about elf lore#apparently she actually just wants to know about legolas but not legolas' father because of the hobbit movies#let me rant about feanorian politics it'll be interesting i promise#shut up about your elf backflips you wanna hear about nirnaeth arnoediad and the kinslayings#tolkien#lotr#lord of the rings#silmarillion#the silm#is this a shitpost? idk#he's batshit insane but the world is great i love it#we still don't know where hobbits come from#they appeared one day#like potatoes#i had one tidbit of legolas lore and that was#the guy showed up several years late in a homemade boat with a dwarf#incomprehensible screaming
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man. having read kon comics really makes the ao3 timkon tag an absolutely inhospitable place
#rimi talks#i relearn this lesson every week or so when i go maybe this time it'll be better! and then it isn't#<- my own personal sisyphean torment#even in the rare few fics in there that aren't about jason todd. like none of them have anything of substance about kon#and what they do try to do they make up rather than actually knowing anything about him😔#which like i get it if you only know him from say yj98 you won't know a lot of his history but.#for me (guy who DOES know his history) it takes me so out of it every time. man. can't find any timkon fic to read while im sick. sad!#i should go back to reading star trek fic tbh#lots there to keep me occupied
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Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)
Lighthearted bonus:
#enstars#hiiro amagi#rinne amagi#i don't know if this is a bad time to be amagi-posting given that hiiro's fs2 just dropped but. oh well#also this might be the last thing i draw for a bit because i am in the final stretch of this semester#if you sent in a request. i will get to it and thank you for your patience#anyways i know i'm kinda being like 'haha rinne mama's boy' which like. yeah but also sometimes--#--sometimes you're an adult in their 20s and like. yeah sure you're technically an adult or whatever but you still feel like a kid yeah?#and sometimes you just maybe want your mom to help you when you're lost or confused or when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay#but you won't get that for whatever reason#sincerely: an adult in their 20s#....can you tell why rinne is like. a vibe to me now#anyways i'm not saying mamagi dying was a necessary evil but if hiiro and rinne had an adult who actually loved them at home they probably-#-wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have the main story#if she was alive today tho she'd be going to their lives sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do)#if she ends up being exactly like the rest of their village in some future lore i'm gonna be so sad.#she'd throw hands with niki's parents#imagine leaving your sons behind because you straight up died (couldn't really do anything about that)#meanwhile your son's boyfriend's parents just. up and left him because they could#also posts with her will be tagged mamagi#if you read all that <3#mamagi#she'd adopt all the bees and alkaloid too#imagine if they got their singing skills from her#also mamagi 1 rinniki shipper (also does not care it's not legal)#rinniki
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"The world isn't a safe place, so get used to it!"
Man, as somebody who's survived multiple, long-lasting instances of abuse from a very young age, I was under the impression that the world was, indeed, so safe and conforming to my desires. I'm practically stunned to learn that this is not the case, and I have been severely humbled
(Sarcasm fully intended)
#mental health#mental health advocacy#abuse apologia#trauma#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#if your response to somebody talking about trauma is to go 'the world isn't safe!' that is a reflection on you; not the world#and if the world isn't safe because of human action: we can change our behaviour#not only is this abuse apologia but it is also kind of... lazy#and i *hate* the word 'lazy' but it's simply the only word i have to convey how asinine the whole 'get used to it!!!' is#if living in the world is to be used to abuse and some of the worst shit imaginable then. i don't think that's right. or normal.#again like... i actually truly just fucking despise the way most people talk about trauma and abuse...#...and pretty much anything that isn't like the bare surface-level 'mental health is important!' type deal...#...because it has always cpme down to 'how can i help maintain the status quo (people being abused and tormented)?'#or 'well you were [x] so you deserved it!' or 'you shouldn't want for ANYTHING if it makes me sad/annoyed/frustrated!!'#but maybe i'm naïve but i know this shit can change#and i don't think silence and letting people go about believing that shit is how it'll be done
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making you witness my favorite gif again
curls and the big brown eyes and his little smile and the way his lips are shaped ough
#typewriter dings#tell me he's not pretty#(actually don't. it'll make me sad)#p.n.#he looks so clean...you know?
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woag. vibeo game?
(very rough still)
(but now theres more colours)
#game dev#my art#murderhouse makeover#fuck it whatever im probably never gonna do the legal shit for this#slim chance i even make it to uploading on itch lmao#turns out game dev takes a REALLY long time when you dont know what you're doing#also i should not have waited this long to make the actual win state. how the hell am i gonna quantify decorating a house#since filming this video ive made the main menu buttons nicer and fixed the storage system#one of these days i'll actually put effort into the video#but also. i dunno#ive been telling myself id have enough to do a demo for the last two years now. im so tired and i keep not finishing shit#between making this and my full time job and also making regular ass drawings to put on this blog i kinda wanna throw the towel in#stop reading here if you dont wanna see my sad ass thought process#im not the kinda guy that gets Big Successes. like even if i finish and polish this fully it'll sell MAYBE a hundred copies#its kinda hard to keep going on this with that weighing on me yknow. like ive wasted months of work on this#this has been my free time for the past two years#i dont know#I DONT KNOW
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sociolinguistics secret: it is impossible to learn how to "talk proper." the prestige speakers are constantly innovating new ways to differentiate themselves from non-prestige speakers, because the reason they discriminate on a linguistic basis has nothing to do with some notion of correctness and everything to do with social hierarchy.
#learn grammar learn spelling pronounce words in a way that those around you will understand#but the idea that non-prestige speakers can educate themselves out of classist discrimination i'm really really sorry but that's not true#the issue is the discrimination and the class system it actually has nothing to do with the literal linguistic tokens/shibboleths#i'm not saying that we should just throw out grammar class or phonics or etymology in schools#cursive can stay too#but i think they should stay because they challenge the mind and are INTERESTING#not because of some idea that it'll help with discrimination#it's really sad and really unfair but no amount of grammar class can make up for systemic issues i'm so so horribly sorry#linguistics#sociolinguistics#i said i wasn't going to say anything but i couldn't help myself#prescriptivism#classism
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I had a conversation with my mom about commissions--she’s of the opinion that you shouldn’t have to wait super long to get what you paid for. I’m the opposite; I think artists should be able to take as long as they need to finish a commission, and I’m totally cool with waiting for months even for them to get back to me. Surprisingly enough I’m very patient when it comes to commissioning other people lol. Maybe I just think that way bc I’m an artist myself so I totally get the struggle. (And I also take time with my comms too.) My mom is not an artist so she doesn’t really grasp the amount of time and effort it takes, so she expects results immediately. Which like. I get that too? I dunno. What do you all think? Are you the kind of patient person who’s totally chill with an artist taking months to finish your commission? Or do you want it to be done within a reasonable amount of time, like 2-3 weeks?
#IDK she said that and now I'm stressing about it. LMAO#I put it in my TOS that yeah it'll take me a bit. Bc well. Real life happens#And sometimes it's hard to sit down and pump out art you know?#But some people don't understand that. Some people want what they paid for right away#WHICH IS FAIR. I'm not saying that's unreasonable#Scratches my head idk my anxiety's already high today so I'm worrying about this too now. Nfamkdasmdsa#Anyway to all my commissioners who have waited months for me to finish theirs: You have the patience of a saint.#And I appreciate you so so so much.#Especially to that one person who's waited for SO long now. I swear to god I'm going to finish it this week#There's definitely a line to be drawn with how long people are willing to wait#AND SAD AS IT IS TO SAY. I've crossed that line before.#Keeping a consistent schedule with life and art for fun and commissions is difficult for sure 😤#IT'S A BALANCE. It's really a balance!#Shima speaks#Actually the biggest thing for me. Is I want to put the effort in#I don't want to half ass it. I want it to look GOOD#So I never try to force myself to do comms. Bc that's not fair to me or the person who commissioned#They deserve my best effort and my best work!!#The issue is that I'm not always in that headspace to tackle comms and put in the work that's needed#IT'S FRUSTRATING.....but I'd rather make people wait for something I put time and effort into#Rather than something half-assed. You know??#So that's a big part of it too;; why people have to wait a bit sometimes#Rubs my temples#I'm probably overthinking this WAY too much lol. Sorry it's been a stressful day
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#so that dotd rewrite is out and i have some thoughts on it but i wouldn't know where to put them.. maybe in here bc i don't actually feel -#- like making a whole ass text post. this is coming from me as criticism and not hate.. just some crit from one fan to another if you get m#SPOILERS AHEAD >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#first off props to the team because this was obv a labor of love - 4 and a half years to make a feature long fan movie is hard work#and the animated stuff was a really nice touch and very commendable - you don't see them too often in big fanworks#in terms of the story well.. there are some things i like and some things that i don't (personally) again no hate#i'm aware this is a rewrite and boy howdy it IS a rewrite - though i am a bit sad that percy doesn't end up being the protagonist and it's#- thomas that has to play hero again.. like i kinda get it but what made the original dotd stand out was that percy was given the spotlight#so i spent an ungodly amount of time wondering when percy was gonna take charge or step into the main story to resolve the problem.. sigh#i liked that they tried to give norman more of a character bc a lot of characters do often get neglected in the series but it was kind of -#- hard to sell that for me? the twist in this rewrite was very creative and i do appreciate it but i guess it just ain't for me#“different” is ok and this is just one of many fan rewrites for this particular story#if there was something i enjoyed.. i guess the beginning was still kind of exciting because the set up was honestly like hype a bit#i liked that diesel and d10 actually got to interact face to face and there are clearer dynamics established for the diesels#and also. silverband's performances as d10 will always be fun he does a fantastic job voicing him (how d10 stole xmas will still be my fav)#my criticisms for this movie also derive from the pacing and the voice acting - i found it hard to try and understand tones sometimes -#- because the delivery felt so off.. like don't get me wrong not everyone in the fandom is a voice actor but if we're using static faces -#- for these fan works the delivery has to be a little more clear or else it'll sound like you're reading from a script.. sorry yall :"|#for the pacing i found it a bit hard to parse when some things were going on and how fast things were progressing#as well as the crashes.. that's also another thing bc i couldn't tell bc of the sfx and audio balancing - it could be better..#i wanna say. muffled voices do not substitute for a “far away”/off-screen voice bc i still can't hear it :“|#there were a lot of throwbacks and references to older thomas media/movies but some of them felt a little.. much?#if this is a dotd rewrite why are we getting some parallels with tatmr.. but i digress. at least they made diesel beef with duck a bit#there's a lot more i could say but i'm keeping those to myself. at the end of the day this fan movie was hard work for everyone involved#and you can tell some of the folks were having fun in there - props to them! i'm always glad to see more fan works in the community#we've come so far we're making feature length fan stories and rewrites that's crazy! i hope to see more in the future#fauxtrainpost.txt
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fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3
#val comes out of hiding#with a case and a grip strap (that interferes a little with the case but i'm making it work lol)#it'll be great for my arthritic sad poor hands lmao#and i can download ebooks to it! including fic <3#so like i have backup copies of my bookmarks and i threw them all on there#and threw one I planned to read on there too which i rb'd a few mins ago#it's great because we tend to be into those huge fantasy novels that I 0% can hold and take up a shit ton of space#like bringing brando sando books with me while traveling has been a PAIN lmao#now all i need is a battery pack to make sure it doesn't die. which is its own downside of course#and it means I can pirate so many ebooks. my god so many.#anyway to start with i think i'm gonna go back thru and re-read all my bookmarked fics i haven't read in a while#i'm quite stingy about bookmarks so they're all good (tho i have a soft spot for fluff in hindsight lol)#maybe i'll make a detailed rec post when i'm done?#in regards to fic too though I need to reach out to someone and say sorry for not being a very responsible beta.you know who you are.sorry:#but tangentially related; last night I had one of those core memory moments#it was bed time and fiance was snoozing half-asleep and i was reading fic on the kindle which works great in the dark btw. so dim#and i got up maybe 3 times in 30 mins or so go to the bathroom; get shit i forgot in the other room; etc etc#he's a light sleeper so he tends to wake up a lil#at some point he swapped our body pillows. i have no idea which time i got up it was. i didn't even notice for so long#i use a regular pillow and he has a longer actual body pillow so it was very obvious in hindsight#he loves to mess with me like that. little things make me laugh etc. and in the moment i realised i was just so happy#i'm here in this comfy bed with the man i love reading great fic with the gift he just got me and he's half-asleep and still trying to make#me laugh. and i laugh and laugh and laugh for like 5 mins because i'm so unobservant i didn't even notice it's not my pillow#and not even in a mean way. he loves that about me because he loves me. and he is just so good. so good.#and i was reading a fic about finding someone in any world. i would find him in any world. i would#and i just said 'i love you' and he cuddled into me and went to sleep.#<33333333333333333
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I've missed you guys<3
#every year I am so surprised at how much the structure of my life actually depends on regularly scheduled match days#my mother issues are at a new high! I am so sad all the time! but a girl in my class smiled at me today which<3#also why does being incredibly sad make you want to go broke. I can't stop spending money and it'll be on like pens and sticky notes#anyways I miss hanging out with you guys and reading your funny little posts and life updates every weekend<3 I hope things are going well<
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🩷
#don't think that i take for granted the fact that i was born into the happiest marriage/family in our entire extended clan#this family (on both sides) is rife with divorce and rebellious children and couples that have lost their spark and always seem sad#and sure my parents bicker on occasion and have teir frustrations like any couple#but they're in love! still! after 28 years!!! they're each other's best friends#and the three of us get along so wonderfully and we're always laughing together there is LOVE in this household#but that's just so vanishingly rare it feels like#none of my friends are this close to their parents#and idk i feel like most of the couples we know (not all but most) don't have the kind of happiness my parents have#so i'm in between having a huge appreciation for where i am in life#and fear that i'll never find something like that myself#like sometimes i just think too deeply about it and it feels so difficult so impossible#“this happens once every few lifetimes”#but then i think i'm just being paranoid and actually we DO know lots of very happy enduring couples#that CAN be me#but in a way it's just all a game of chance isn't it#no doubt someone out there would be a good fit for me but what if i never meet him#what if we just. miss each other#there's such a fine line between finding true love and eternal solitude#it can be anything a messed up coffee order a dinner you get invited to a job offer you accept#but you never know what it'll be!!!! and that's so scary!!!!!!!!!#okay i think i'm just making myself feel worse so i'll stop here and go to bed#but just. yea. food for thought on this night of my parents' anniversary#elly's posts
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