#actually did a thing- there's a poetry method used where the first line of the couplet is longer than the first

[sparks-chaotic-cove]

The blood on your hands, little jackal, will haunt you for days on end.

The whispers of her voice on the wind, little jackal, will stalk until you see her again.

Different faces, different lives yet all the same- live or die. She fought for smiles with a bloodied blade If she had been different, would the result be the same?

Do you miss your little sister, little jackal? Wish it were you in her shoes?

How many deaths would you take, little jackal, Simply to keep the voices at bay?

Different memories, changing times Leave each past reset behind Chimera curled up there, quiet beside He never dares to ask why you lay there and cry

So lay down here, little jackal The sun will rise anew

and one day, maybe, she will rise too.

-- "Little Jackal", SunsetSparks

[time-is-standing]

top 10 songs of august

sorry for the long wait, I actually left my job, moved hours away from the capital, moved in with my bf, started working at a new place and it was a lot. so sorry for that. because all of this going on, I didn't really have time to listen to music as much as I did before, so I'll present to you the list of my current favs - not based on the stats. we're going with our hearts today. thanks.

1. Paralellák by Plazúr, Nagy Viktor

this song is by far the first for august & spetember as well. we were so stressed while planning the move and looking for jobs, that I came up with minigames we would play during the more stressful days. one of those were "collect all the Viktors". so we looked through spotify, youtube, the whole internet to gather all the songs Viktor Nagy has collaborated on and we both instantly fell in love with this one. such a great vibe, special, unique song. I said goodbye to my colleagues with the lines "ha görbült a tér, a végtelenben találkozunk" in my head.

2. Sánta Egyensúly by PETOFI

this song. this is a masterpiece. I'm not taking any arguments, this would've been the first if I didn't count in the fact that my bf and I bonded so hard because of that song. this means so much to me. I can't even speak about how close to my heart this song sits. "háromlábú széken sánta az egyensúly. mikor dőlök már el? mikor jön az az egy, aki belém rúg?"

3. Pirkadat by Téveszme

this song actually tells a tiny story from my life, that changed every single thing in my life. there was a friend of mine, who I loved so much, that it was the most toxic thing to ever exist. me (and my issues) made it a hundred times harder to get out of that relationship but I made it out, I'm back to my old self and I'm better than ever. this makes me proud & warms my heart - while making me angry just enough to feel some things and calm down by the end of the song. "érzem nem volt hiába, bármennyire is fáj"

4. Süket füledre talál a vallomásom by PETOFI

this is the biggest masterpiece ever made in history. it's only this low on the list because I've been listening to it for more than 3 years now and I'm still obsessed. experiencing this one live was the most ecstatic feeling in the whole wide world. I screamed every word and somehow still felt like it wasn't loud enough. the singer actually looked right into my eyes and I believe saw all the pain of the world right in there because we shared a few moments together (& that's why I love smaller bands so much, they really love to see the impact they make and connect with people). he actually gave me his just opened beer he took only a few sips out of and I'm still obsessing about it.

5. Pusztulás I by PETOFI, Nagy Viktor

this song... I've said to my bf that I just hate it and cannot find a meaning behind the words on a random tuesday. by the next weekend, this was the only song I've been listening to and I somehow understood it perfectly. every single line has it's own charm & meaning and I'm loving it. (this is also one of the Viktor's that started the whole game)

6. Én már soha többet semmiért nem fogok bocsánatot kérni by Nemecsek

I love this band and don't speak enough about them. I have some other favs but this was the first Nemecsek I've ever listened to. I love how fast this song is, the beats are hyping you up so much while the lyrics are pulling you down to the bottom of a deep dark ocean... yeah, that's hungarian music for you.

7. Harag by Anchorless Bodies

oh, this one. the title means "anger" and as we all know by now, I'm the queen of anger issues. I've stopped seeing my therapist because of the move and I'm curious if any of the methods she showed me will be useful in the future for me. at least I have these songs to get me into a better mindset.

8. Bányák by PETOFI, Kovács Gábor

"lelkem bányájában te vagy a sötétség"

I love how this band mixes poetry with songwriting. this somehow lights my heart on fire. I can't seem to be able to find where exactly, but I'm headed somewhere the exact moment I hear these songs. it's almost like the words give me purpose and motivation, I just need to find where those feelings are leading me.

9. Keserédes by Téveszme

an all time fav! sad, slow, super emotional. I have an unhealthy attachment to this song and I'm always coming back to it whenever I'm in the mood for these songs. actually it's kindof comforting for me, even though it's on the sadder side.

10. Akasszátok fel a királyokat by Counter Clockwise

I don't like it that much anymore but listened to it a whole lot with my bf. it's sadly still real meaningful in our country... I don't wanna get into politics, this page is not for that but some days I'm super scared of what's about to come.

[teenageread]

Review: Ruthless

Synopsis:

For years scandal has rocked Rosewood, Pennsylvania - and high school seniors Aria, Emily, Hanna, and Spencer have always been at the center of the drama. They've lost friends, been targeted by a ruthless stalker named A, and narrowly escaped death. And it's not over yet.

Aria's love life is on the fritz. Emily's exploring her wild side. Hanna's kissing the enemy. And someone from Spencer's past - someone she never thought she'd see again - is back to haunt her.

But none of that compares to what happened last spring break. It's their darkest secret yet, and guess who found out? Now A is determined to make them pay for their crime, and the only thing scarier than A is the fear that maybe, just maybe, they deserve what's coming to them.

Plot:

Emily and Aria have gotten into the ritual of nightly phone calls. They see how the other is making out, heard from A, or the latest post on the RIP Tabitha Facebook page. Where the two girls were not friends, they were becoming closer, relying on each other to get them through their hard spots - Noel breaking up with Aria and Emily losing yet another friend. Heartbroken and forced to watch Kaludia flirt with Noel at school, Aria does what any rational girl does: calls up an ex and tries to fill that Noel-shaped hole in her heart with someone who actually likes literature and poetry. When Emily loses another friend, her sister's home for a college break has her break out of her shell with a Bad Girl’s Bucket List and makes her fall into a fast friendship with Kay. This girl has a similar lousy summer to Emily’s, as Kay is short for Kelsey, the girl Spencer ruined last summer. Seeing a connection, Spencer is first to jump on the Kelsey is A ship, leaving Emily to defend the new girl from the other liars. Spencer is already on the rocks as her spot in Princeton relies on a stellar performance in the play Macbeth, where Spencer stars as Lady Macbeth. To complete her method of acting, Spencer relies on her emotion of helping her friends cover up the death of Tabitha to relate to her character, so much so that, like Lady Macbeth, Spencer goes a little crazy near the end. Where Hanna is staying out of the A drama revolves and opts into trying to become her father’s favorite girl again. Helping him on his campaign, Hanna meets cute boy Liam, who checks off all Hanna’s boxes for a perfect guy. This love can be considered as forbidden as Aria and Ezra’s. Hanna has to choose between the boy she loves and the family she wants to be apart from.

Thoughts:

Like the last book of the series, Shepard gives us tiny drama and saves the life-changing ones for later in the series. Where to compare to book 9 in the series, Ruthless did have a bit more series changing plot line with the girls beginning to again point fingers at who could be A, giving Kelsey an ending, and clear up on some of the summer adventures the girls have that book 9 also hinted at but did not give in details, specifically with Spencer and Kelsey. This novel though, is simply an unnecessary book. You are beginning to see Shepard run out of plot for the liars, giving us this little drama of Hanna dating a boy she should not be, compared to previous books like when she had Aria kill Tabitha. The most exciting aspect that this novel offered was  the Kelsey storyline, which was not very interesting. Pretty much contains itself to this one story and will most likely not impact the series plot besides knowing Spencer will mow anyone down on her way to power (but we already knew that). Worst character? Honestly hard one because no one really did anything in this novel, but I will give it to Spencer for playing herself as the victim of Kelsey when in reality Kelsey is the victim and Spencer is the villain, plus Shepard’s stunt at trying to give Spencer a new love interest falls entirely on its face as it was based on Spencer spending more than 5 minutes with this character alone. The best character, I’ll throw Hanna a bone as she is trying to get her life together. Where she was shady in the end, it is understandable that Hanna tabloids are like the gospel for her. Where it was nice to see the girls use their A suspect list again, despite Emily still thinking Ali is alive, I just wish for some more series lasting drama, as compared to the end of the 9th book, the only character's life to have genuinely changed would be Hanna’s. Still, even that was so last minute in this novel. With the series continuing on (six more books to go), I hope Shepard gets their act together, starts raising that body count, and gives up some final drama that will shape the whole series.

A Suspects:

The concept of the novel is our four girls trying to find out who A is, thus I thought it would be fun to keep a suspect list to see how many people Shepard writes for the girls to at one point suspect and by whom. So here is the list for book #10:

Kelsey by Spencer

Alison by Emily

Body Count

As Shepard keeps killing people off, I think it would be a good idea to keep track of who died, but without spoiling the ending of the current book, as her habit is killing them off with two chapters to go. So here is the list of the dead for the previous book #9:

Jenna, Ian, Mona, Toby, Courtney and Tabitha

Read more reviews: Goodreads

Buy the book: Amazon

[lesbiansforboromir]

"Yet even so it was Gondor that brought about its own decay, falling by degrees into dotage, and thinking that the Enemy was asleep, who was only banished not destroyed. 

 'Death was ever present, because the Numenoreans still, as they had in their old kingdom, and so lost it, hungered after endless life unchanging. Kings made tombs more splendid than houses of the living, and counted old names in the rolls of their descent dearer than the names of sons. 

  Childless lords sat in aged halls musing on heraldry; in secret chambers withered men compounded strong elixirs, or in high cold towers asked questions of the stars. And the last king of the line of Anarion had no heir." 

Faramir's explanation for Gondor's ‘decline’ is... incoherent.. what the hell are you on about m’love?

The way this reads is so completely misleading when looking at the actual history and reasons for Gondor's receding borders and the loss of the watch on Mordor. Faramir puts the onus on Gondorian Kings wanting to live longer and not having kids... babe? Did you forget... the plague? Gondor WAS watching for activity in Mordor. For 1640 years! And then there was a plague so devastating that it turned the country’s most populous city into a near ghost town. It took 200 years for Gondor to recover, and even then it never truly reached the population levels it had maintained before. Osgiliath was never the same! And by then Mordor had taken the fortresses at the Morannon! 

There is absolutely no mention of Kings or Stewards who were desperately seeking to extend their life in Gondor’s history. Where are these tombs more splendid than the houses of the living? All the Kings not buried in Osgiliath are buried in the Silent Street... There is no mention of achingly elaborate tombs anywhere! 

There WERE however some Kings who did not marry or have children! ... Two, there were just two of them... out of thirty three. Narmacil I was Atanatar's son and reigned in the HEIGHT of Gondor's wealth. He essentially allowed his nephew Minalcar to run the country whilst he had a great time writing poetry and kissing men. And Minalcar did a really good job! He fought wars, he made alliances, he built the Argonath and when it actually came around to his time to be King, he had a nice and peaceful reign! And when his son Valacar wanted to marry a Northern Princess? Even though the worry in Gondor was that that would ‘weaken’ the King’s line and reduce their lifespan? He supported him! Gave his blessing! 

The other King who never married or had any children was Earnur! You all remember Earnur? Oh sure, he desperately wanted to extend HIS life past its natural limits! Fighting in two wars and then riding off into an obvious trap just because he'd been challenged really gives me a whole 'old man in his dotage fears death' vibe. And that was the ‘last king of the line of Anarion who had no heir’. You know WHY he was the last king? Because the King before his father Earnil II (King Ondoher) and his two sons had died! In a massive fuckall war with the Balchoth that nearly saw Gondor destroyed! PRINCE Faramir was TOLD to stay behind! But he was so anxious for his family and so wished to not simply sit and wait for death that he HID amongst the ranks of the Eotheod and went to war anyway!! AND DIED!! Asking questions of the stars??? Making strange elixirs?? Mused uselessly on heraldry??? WHEN? FARAMIR?? Was Ondoher daydreaming about stars and heraldry as he was cut down by a chariot??? Was Artamir brewing potions mid-battle?? WHAT are you talking about!!!

Where are these men fearing death who brought Gondor into it's decline that Faramir is talking about? Is he lying? No, I actually believe Faramir when he says he would not even snare an orc in a falsehood. The things Faramir says are things he believes. But then how, when he is so well known for his loremastership, can he be so misleading and plain wrong about something so basic to Gondorian history? Well I have a suggestion but it means Faramir’s at least a little homophobic so bear with me and I promise this is relevant.

So, obviously, the ups and downs of Gondor society in terms of queer liberation would be complex and rely upon a diverse number of factors. However, I’d say that, if you looked at an overall trend, it goes up in times of peace and takes a hit during times of strife. The basic reasoning for this is that one of the fundamentals of Gondorian society is the concept of doom and fate. This can give both correct and erroneous impressions of cause and effect throughout history. Gondorians tend to believe everything happens for a reason. And due to the (sometimes quiet but always present) elf-and-faithful-numenorean-ruled thinkers, who push ideas of proper marriage, celebacy, romance-superiority and other cis-het-normative agendas, the ‘reason’ that bad things happen is often blamed on the queer liberation of the times. The populace is open to being given reasons for bad things happening and Academia in Gondor is very much elf-revering, so it is often respected scholars who are pushing that narrative. 

HOWEVER, the queerness is rarely what is actually remembered or recorded in history, the wording of records are often bound up in the faithful numenorean rhetoric of ‘heretical kings’ and ‘they fell into the trap of king’s men ideology’ and so on and so forth. Scholars might understand what this means at the time, but it gets muddled further down the road and even academics in the future have trouble finding the intended emphasis. So! By the time we reach 3018 TA, the academic community as a whole has reached a general consensus that ‘the old sins of our past’ are to blame and that, whilst queerness was a part of it, it was more a symptom than a direct cause. 

So! The thought process I’m proposing for Faramir should be easy to guess at now, but I’m going to go more specific for the sake of... me uwu. 

GONDOR has not known peace for the last 500 years, not since Steward Denethor the first’s reign wherein the so called ‘watchful peace’ ended and Sauron returned to Mordor. NOW, before Denethor, his uncle Dior was the Steward and, as you’ve probably guessed, he had no children and nor did he marry. I would suggest that Dior lived through one of the most tolerant and open portions of Gondor’s history. I think he not only was open about his choice not to marry, but he also had a socially accepted partner and lived with him all his life with only a small, vocal minority voicing their objections. 

But then Sauron returned! And it was brutal, bloody and horrific. And that vocal minority saw an opportunity to use Dior’s life as a method to push Gondor once again into it’s regular crisis of conscience, faith and purpose. ‘We betrayed our founder’s’ and ‘We should have been ruled by Dior’s son but because of his weakness against his ill-fate we are doomed, he abandoned his duty! A pitiful fate but pitiful for us as well!’ And so on and so forth, there are reems of academic works written about it.

Now, this doesn’t have an immediate crushing effect on queer rights that one might fear. Denethor I loved his uncle dearly and would not hear a bad word about him, as did Boromir I! And Cirion? Cirion was almost more alternative than Dior. He sold off portions of land when the Stewards had been told to keep them IN TRUST for the king’s return. He made enduring and reciprocal alliances with the Eotheod ‘middle men’, he was very much anti-traditionalist! However, it was after his reign that Gondor truly felt the backlash of all this, spurred on by Cirion’s very alternative views, actions and methods. Because whilst he may have been an effective and charismatic Steward, Cirion had not found so much time to be a good father. And Hallas had been fifteen when his father had left him behind and ridden to war. He had a frightening and lonely childhood and was very open to the idea that his father was wrong, had gone too far, that things should be ‘brought back to normal’. Stability being key and all. The vocal minority had his ear. 

And since then, whilst opinion has still fluctuated, the constant unrest and simmering crisis of Gondor’s day to day has made progress against such concepts difficult and slow going. And it’s informed the opinion of history too, a lot more academic writing has compared Dior to Narmacil I (the first unwed and unmarried King) and has tried to find parallels between them and Earnur. Any explicit discussion of queerness has been relegated to Sindarin scripts (the language only really understood by academics and the upper classes), but the underlying tone is there HENCE! 

“falling by degrees into dotage, and thinking that the Enemy was asleep“ = Dior ‘abandoned his duty’ and Narmacil I ‘was indolent’.

“the Numenoreans still [-] hungered after endless life unchanging.” = A melding of heretical beliefs that occurred over centuries into one monolith that applied longing for endless life automatically.

“Childless lords sat in aged halls musing on heraldry; [-] compounded strong elixirs, [-] asked questions of the stars.” = This is all both reaching back to heretical practices in Numenor, whilst also harkening back to the periods of time in which Dior and Narmacil lived, peaceful times where more introspective and experimental pursuits could be indulged. 

SO! This is where Faramir’s erroneous and misleading opinions come from. And why he is at least a little homophobic. There, I told you all I’d get there. 

[actualbird]

hi hi!!! for the ask game, would you mind answering numbers 9, 26, and/or 32 please?

have a nice day dude!!!! :D

EYYO SAAMMMM :DDDDD. yess i would love to answer all of these, i am eating the numbers as we speak (....as we...type?)

-

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

i do!!!! i dont think it's obvious from like, how i am online, but im a hugely superstitious person. it comes from the family upbringing and also a lot of experiences ive had in my life. cw death talk incoming, but 2 loved ones of mine have died in this house, and idk. im sure theyre still here. and not in a scary way, they just Live Here, like how i live here, it's their house too!! i wont b able to explain how i Know without sounding much more silly to many ppl, but yes, i do believe in ghosts!

and theyre nice!!! so long as u arent a dickbag to them, that is. they just want a place to chill.

-

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

i get into it like this

DEADASS. LIKE, WHILE IT’S MEME-Y THIS IS MY METHOD

i.e., i have to find something that i can relate to with the character to be able to write them

like, it doesnt have to be the entire character’s personality, thats impossible. it can just be one (1) thing that i personally resonate with. and like....thats the window on how i get in and begin to understand everything else. like, lemme take two current blorbos i love, one thats easiest for me to write and one thats the hardest: luke and vyn

luke has so many windows. all of them are open, the front door is unlocked, hell, theres a hole in the roof. getting into his head-house is supremely easy for me since i relate to a lot of his personality/thought processes.

for vyn, it felt like breaking in like in a heist movie JHVKJHVSKFJHAS. i could not get in there for a While until i saw a singular air vent labeled “DESIRE TO HAVE AND KEEP KNOWLEDGE, AS KNOWLEDGE BECOMES A FULCRUM WHERE HE CAN LEVERAGE HIMSELF INTO A SAFER VANTAGE POINT” and i was like bINGOOOOOOOO!! related very much to that. and with that as the square 1, i was able to see everything else and understand the rest

as to How i find the opening, thats where all my ridiculous analyses come in. i need to pour over the stories and whats there already and find entrance points. like, character rambles is basically me trying to make the heist map. 

i think this metaphor is getting out of hand but yeA. 

and it’s p easy for me to get out cuz all the characters i write are very much Not Me so i just scuttle out of the head-house again. never rlly regretted any time i had to put on a character hat, like. even if it’s an evil-fucked-up character, it’s a learning experience both in writing and and thinking

-

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

poem line:

“Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. These, our bodies, possessed by light. Tell me we’ll never get used to it.”

from Scheherazade by Richard Siken. first read it in a writing workshop in 2015. this was the first time i actually read poetry (i was a fiction bitch thru and thru) and i was like oh FUCK okay. i see now the beauty in this form

novel line:

“He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.”

from Mort by Terry Pratchett. first read in 2016, i was just going thru my older brother’s books (and inadvertently starting my love for pratchett’s writing //chef’s kiss!!!). it’s just such a simple and wonderful line. resonates a lot w me cuz im very much a “WHAT IS THE ANSWER, WHAT IS THE SOLUTION TO THE RIDDLE” about everything but Not Everything has that. life gets a bit mucky trying to solve things that cant be solved

aaaaand fanfic line:

“There are the nights when no one dreams, or dreams are small and life-sized--broken strings and shipwrecked boats, dishabille, or seagulls. There are the nights when Newt can sleep, the dawns he doesn't see. Of those, there are not many. But there are some.”

from Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom. this is a pacific rim fanfic that ran from 2013-2014 (no longer on ao3 but archived in many places by ppl who loved it) and it became a cult classic within the fandom for good reason. it is one of the most phenomenal things ive ever read in my life, across the span of All kinds of written work. this fanfic REWIRED MY BRAIN AT 13 YEARS OLD. 

and i still reread it every other year and im frigging blown away every time. these lines in particular just.....they Stayed In My Head. in the aftermath of complicated trauma, thats the situation. it’s written so simply and strikes so hard, it’s so forlorn yet hopeful as well. there are not many. but there are some... THAT MADE ME INSANE AND I HAVE NEVER RECOVERED.

-

WHEW, I TALK TOO MUCH thank u sm for the ask and giving me the opportunity to ramble, sammmm <3!!!!!

[fresh-prince-of-denmark]

Interpretation of Alt’s poem Choice in Mikoshi (Part 2): Old Man Yells at Cloud

Cyberpunk spoilers ahead:

Part 2 let’s unpack Johnny’s version of the Mikoshi poem! If you haven’t already read my post on V’s poem, please read that one first here! 

To recap: Alt has two different poems she reads as you enter the Mikoshi depending on who is in control. V is given an excerpt from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot, while Johnny is given Sailing to Byzantium, by Yeats. At first I thought the connection obvious, but the more I stare at this passage the more hidden connections I see:

“Once out of nature I shall never take

My bodily form from any natural thing,

But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make

Of hammered gold and gold enamelling

To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;

Or set upon a golden bough to sing

To lords and ladies of Byzantium

Of what is past, or passing, or to come.”

The overarching theme of the poem from which this section originates is about dying in order to transcend beyond the limitations of the earthy world. The opening line of this poem is probably its most famous: “That is no country for old men.” The speaker, presumably an older man, is watching as the youth become so caught up in their own lives that they fail to question their own mortality.

The speaker has traveled to the country of Byzantium (Now Istanbul not Constantinople) now  to seek a form of immortality; not of the body, but of the soul. The speaker’s body is aging and dying, and he hopes to find a way for his soul to continue to “sing.” He petitions the “saints” (which is actually reference to golden tiles on a mosaic) to destroy his flesh, “fastened to a dying animal”, and teach his spirit to “sing” so that it may live on in the form of art.

This is where Alt’s passage leads us: what the narrator plans to do once he has left his body behind. He will not be reborn as anything “natural” (flesh and blood), and instead wishes to become “a form as Grecian goldsmiths make/Of hammered gold and gold enamelling” (referencing a piece of golden art that would have been made to hang above an emperors bed). Or, he will become a golden bird resting on golden branches, sharing his knowledge with the world of the mortals through song; now unshackled by “what is past, or passing, or to come.”

The poem is arguing that the truest form of immortality comes from art; the body may die, but the artist lives on. Johnny originally seeks to change the world with his art, his music, trying to “shake the world awake.” He is unconcerned with success and money, and more concerned with his art waking people up to the realities around them. The people of NC, in this circumstance, are the youth of Byzantium; so caught up in their own lives, they don’t see the bigger picture, or see the death and injustice that happens around them (either this, or they are too concerned with survival to have time to contemplate such issues). Johnny is the golden bird hoping to sing his knowledge at a new generation, while also hanging above the heads of the corporate elite “To keep a drowsy Emperor awake.” This is his method of ensuring he Never Fades Away.

We can read this two ways: Is Alt trying to influence Johnny’s choice on whether to take V’s body? Or is she simply reflecting his own inner narrative? The poem stands in stark contrast to V’s poem — which asserts that one’s individual life does not matter, and that one will never change the world in any significant way. Johnny’s poem tells us the opposite; asserting that his art, and by extension his soul, did matter, and did have an impact, almost telling him that it’s okay to give up his physical form as his art will keep his soul alive. This puts Johnny and V in stark contract to each other: V represents the youth of Byzantium, fleeting and superficial, bound to the rules of mortality and the cycle of life and death (which tracks considering V will die soon after Mikoshi anyway). Johnny, on the other hand, represents the immortal self (naturally, since the engram/blackwall basically grants immortality depending on how one interprets what it means for the idea of the afterlife and the soul), and how your art and impact on the world will live on long after one’s physical body. Yeats, like Johnny, is obsessed with the idea of transforming the world in nearly all of his poetry, while Eliot questions if it’s worth even trying to change the world, or if all efforts to do so are futile.  

Interestingly enough, Yeats is referenced through the game in other ways. The names of his poems appear as side quests such as “A Prayer for my Son.” Sailing to Byzantium also first appeared in a poetry collection titled “The Tower,” which includes a poem of the same name. Not only is The Tower an important tarot card in the overall theme of the game (representing radical change and transformation), but Johnny specifically has a tattoo of The Tower (tarot card) on his arm. The Tower Tarot card can be found, simply enough, at the ruins of Arasaka Tower. Is this meant to represent Johnny’s “transformation,” from his physical form to an immortal one? Or something much less literal? 

[myhoneststudyblr]

i received an ask from @sunset-study asking me how to annotate texts so i thought i would do a post giving some of my tips! as an English literature student, i spend a lot of my time doing annotations on loads of different types of texts so i think i have some good advice that i can give. i hope that you will find this helpful and if you have any other questions, please feel free to send me an ask!

disclaimer: these are my personal tips and experiences and i’m sure that there are many more that are relevant. i have tried to do a little bit of research to get some other ideas which hopefully will make this a useful post but as always i appreciate others adding their opinions and advice in the comments!

[Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes]

What is covered:

General Tips

Things to look for

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

Other resources

General Tips

don't just highlight. this is very passive and often you will not really be taking in what is important. 

pencils are great for annotating. if you are anything like me, when you are annotating, you often are doing it as the thoughts come into your mind so a pencil allows you some leeway to erase and refine ideas. also when you are writing in a book, i personally do not have enough confidence to write in pen.

don’t annotate extensively the first time you read. often on a first read, you don't see the recurring imagery or features because you don't have the whole context so don't annotate deeply the first time you read something. that said, it can often be good to jot some questions in the margins that you have because these can be useful to remind you of your thoughts when you reread. 

think of some symbols to indicate important or interesting parts. for example, if it is a dramatic section, i will box it off and put a big exclamation mark. or if something is confusing or unclear, use a question mark. i tend to put a star for a section that is important. you could think of symbols for humour, foreshadowing, particular themes or characters etc.

actually respond to the text. this seems like an obvious one but a lot of the time, because we are taught in schools all these fancy techniques, when we see one of them in a text we just highlight them and note that its a metaphor or simile or foreshadowing. what you should try to do is explain - briefly - why that is important and its effect. also if you have any personal reaction to it, note that down as well because this can be really helpful when writing essays because it shows that you’ve actually engaged with the text. 

practice, practice, practice. annotation is a skill and honestly it can be quite difficult because you need to often read between the lines and summarise, while also analysing. so take some time to focus on this skill and create your own method and shorthand.

Things to look for:

structure. are the paragraphs long? is sentence varied or does it remain quite consistent? are there any repeated words or phrases? what is the overall shape of the text? where does the narrative start? does the focus shift anywhere? 

language. what are the literary devices used in the text? if so, what is their effect? has the author used a particular semantic field? are there any usual words? are there repeated words? are there any individual words that stand out to you? what are the connotations of these words? are there any words that you don’t know? if so, what do they mean? is there any unusual syntax? 

characterisation and voice. who is speaking in the text? if it is third person, how ‘close’ or ‘distant’ are we to the character? can we trust the character? are they an unreliable narrator? what are their key features? do any of these features link to key themes? if so, where is that shown in the text? is the author using a particular voice in order to get a specific reaction?

themes. what themes is the author exploring? where does the author explore these themes? are particular opinions (either by a character or perhaps the implied opinion of the author) expressed on the themes? are there any words or phrases that link closely to this theme?

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

SUMMARISE REGULARLY

a novel is often long and there is a lot of stuff to cover throughout it so it is really important to keep making sure that you understand what is going on. summarising will also help you when revising.

for example, after each chapter quickly summarise the key points in a few sentences - which characters were important, did the plot move forward in any important ways, what themes were explored.

you could either do this on a post it note or if you have space on the last page of the chapter. make sure that it is not too long. a few sentences is absolutely fine.

KEEP A LIST OF CHARACTERS 

characters are obviously very important in a novel so make sure you know who’s who and where they come into the book. you could write the list of characters or a little character map on the inside cover of the book, which you can refer to if necessary.

COLOUR CODE

i personally don't colour code that often when annotating. i usually only do it in important scenes and moments where there is a lot going on and things can get very confusing. that said, colour coding can be particularly useful to keep track of themes in the novel.

there are many different ways that you can do this. for example you could have a particular highlighter colour for each theme. you could also put coloured sticky tabs on the page so you can quickly find the themes throughout the novel. 

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

This is mostly the same for novels so take all of the tips above and apply them to the play you are studying with two main - VERY IMPORTANT - additions:

NOTE THE DRAMATIC FUNCTION

a play is written to be performed and this has a huge impact on the text, because it can affect how we interpret a particular character, theme or scene. 

so it is SO SO important that you remember that it is being performed and think about the different ways that it could be acted and how the audience could respond to it. 

on that note, remember that every performance, actor and audience is different so try to think of ALL the ways it could be played and how our interpretation could differ

PAY ATTENTION TO STAGE DIRECTIONS

this is a related point to the one above. my GCSE English teacher used to go on about this all. the. time. because it is so easy to overlook them and not consider them a real part of the text. BUT they are such a key part because they can give hints to performance as well as the atmosphere which might otherwise be difficult to discern just by reading the dialogue. they can also be good ways to demonstrate character traits

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

NOTE GENERAL FEATURES (STRUCTURE, RHYMING, METER, CONTEXT, THEMES, ETC.) SOMEWHERE SEPARATE 

poems are obviously much shorter than plays and novels so they are often packed full of interesting language points to annotate. therefore if you try to add in all of this other stuff in your annotations using arrows, it is likely that it is going to get very full and confusing. 

therefore, i would suggest only directly annotating language features for the poem and writing your notes on the more general features of the poem elsewhere - for example on a post-it note, or if there is a bunch of white-space under the poem. then it is easy to find and refer to but won't mix with your annotations and make it confusing so that you feel that you need to rewrite more notes on the whole poem 

if there is a particular word or phrase that is important for the above features (for example, links significantly with the context or has unusual - and therefore probably significant - meter) you can notes this on the text using arrows but keep it specific and short. you can expand on it in more depth in your general notes

IDENTIFY THE TONE AND MOOD OF THE POEM

this is good to identify because it can help you focus on the language that is important and helps you to interpret the meaning. 

THINK ABOUT THE SOUND OF THE POEM

poems are usually meant to be lyrical and rhythmic in some way and read aloud. so think about how these words sound when you read it (are they harsh or soft) and consider the rhythm that the poet creates through punctuation. it could be helpful to consider a poem like the lyrics of a song and imagine what it would sound like if it were set to music 

rhyming is an important part of this and you could note - just for your own reference - the rhyme scheme (if there is one) using letters at the end of the line. but again, referring back to tip one of this section, talk about the rhyme scheme in greater depth elsewhere so as not to clutter your notes 

Other Resources

there are so many resources that you can find on the internet about annotation but here are just a couple that i thought were useful:

Annotation Guide Produced for AP Language Students

BBC Bitesize GCSE Revision Page on Annotating Texts

General How to Annotate Guide (Note: this is not just for literature but also for textbooks but has some great tips)

Annotating Poetry Guide

[theperfectblonde]

I’m gonna say that rules surrounding ED Tumblr is SO backwards - people are getting termed literally for being mentally ill, and like granted there’s a lot of triggering content on an ED blog but I have NEVER seen another community so obsessed with putting content/trigger warnings in their bios, their pinned post, their tags, and sometimes even their headers!! ED tumblr is on TOP of it and the first thing people say on their blogs is to get the fuck out of there if you don’t like what you see or if you don’t already have an ED!!!

And the fact that there are people supposedly going on a crusade to report these blogs?? Who’s doing that!!! What is it accomplishing!!! Never mind that there is a very thin line between “aesthetic” blogs posting half-naked thinspo girls (not a dig, just a double standard on the porn ban and anorexic inspo) and “fitness” blogs run by people who aren’t professionals who give out the same kind of advice that ED blogs do (again not a dig, but spreading health misinformation should also technically be termed, right? Overexercising and under-eating? Yeah.).

Meanwhile I’ve seen SO many blogs that *actually* break the rules people say ED tumblr is; for example there’s a lot of feederism/gainer kink accounts that *actually* promote an unhealthy lifestyle (and again I’m not shaming, different strokes, but it’s the fact that there’s the juxtaposition and the double standard that people with a vent blog will get termed repeatedly but there are people out there who have kink blogs that actively encourage other people to gain weight specifically using unhealthy methods, with no content warnings and no explanation that it’s all part of the fantasy or that it’s unhealthy, etc. in the way that ED tumblr does. Like I’ve seen a lot of things where the kink is very specifically to eat yourself to death.). Also a lot of sh or emo or other mentally ill vent blogs where I’ve literally seen people post fresh cuts UNTAGGED and without a “see more” under the cut button, people talking about killings themselves and committing suicide but like… going into detail about it, and then making content out of it whether it’s poetry or photography or edits or whatever, and it’s extremely graphic. Like… I’ve NEVER (or rarely come across) that on ED tumblr.

I’m not saying I agree with all of tumblrs rules, I don’t even think people with those blog types I mentioned need to be taken away honestly just so long as they’re staying in their own lane and not actively harming anyone else. However, if you’re going to enforce it so strictly on one community, then it needs to be applicable to EVERYONE who breaks those rules, right? They’re “Community Guideline’s”, right?? So how come sh, suicide vent blogs, aesthetic, fitspo, feeder/gainer kink blogs, etc. who all post content in the same vein as what ED tumblr users are being termed for, are allowed to exist? How come they don’t have to deal with constantly having their accounts termed?

I just can’t stop thinking though about HOW targeted and harassed ED tumblr is in particular, EVEN THOUGH there are blogs out there that do the EXACT same thing and have never been taken down before! It’s just bizarre that there’s some kind of intense stigma surrounding a mental illness, but accounts who are willingly and knowingly engaging in a kink or a hobby don’t go through the same things even though they’re posting the same kind of content.

Idk man. I’ve never lost my account before and I’d honestly be devastated if I did bc it weirdly has a lot of sentimental value to me outside of ED stuff but I just can’t stop thinking about what I see and the differential treatment I see and it bothers me and since this is my journal/vent account I needed to write it out lol.

[luesilust]

What is something embarrassingly vanilla that each of the trash quartet are into? (The truest dirt is in the bland crap you're into when you're a trashy boi, am I right?) ☆

Hahaha what an interesting first ask from a “totally anonymous” anon… ✨ Anyway, I actually really liked this question, but holy hell did it fuck with my brain. I’m used to coming up with all the kinky and/or messed up scenarios and suddenly I’m supposed to do the opposite? My brain is confused. The second problem I encountered was: What is actually vanilla? My brain did not help me on this quest either, as every time I got close to thinking up something clever, my brain goes “SPIT IN THEIR MOUTH!” or something along those lines.

PARISTON

Among the trash quartet Pariston is the one I found the hardest to write this ask for. Mostly because Pariston is an enigma. First of all it’s impossible to know exactly what he does and doesn’t enjoy because everything he does is controlled and calculated. I can see him being into one thing with one partner and something completely different with another. His preferences always switch around.

Sometimes the sex can be very vanilla and tender, usually after he’s been partiularly cruel to you. It’s a way to get you to stay with him despite the abuse.

Pariston’s relation to pleasure is also an interesting aspect. I think that for Pariston sex isn’t the goal that drives his actions, but rather a means to get the reactions he wants from you. This means that if he thinks that a gentle “love making” session is what’s going to make his “game” with you more fun later on, you’re going to get the best vanilla sex in our whole life!

I did, however, think of a few of vanilla things Pariston would absolutely loathe in most circumstances! The number one thing being his partner whispering “I love you” lovingly into his ear, while he’s trying to make you hate him.

ILLUMI

First of all, I think very little will make Illumi embarrassed. That being said there are quite a few things he should be embarrassed about. He’s very motivated to continue the Zoldyck line, so sex would often be more focused on the result than what it feels like there and then. So unless he’s using sex as a way to manipulate or reward you, it would get quite mundane... And isn’t that like the most vanilla thing ever?

Another thing he should be embarrassed for is that he usually doesn’t make you cum very often. He almost never touches your clit, so in the beginning you wonder if he doesn’t know where it is, or that he’s one of those who think women's sexuality is a myth. That however, is not the case, because Illumi probably has extensive training on how to pleasure or sexually torture someone because of his assasin training. The reason for his behaviour is that he usually doesn’t prioritize using his precious time to give you pleasure. It doesn’t make it more likely that you’ll get pregnant, so why waste the time. Orgasms are a reward, not a necessity for his wife.  

If you want to break out of the mundane sex, try to gently kiss his neck. It’s a really sensitive area for him that he associates mainly with killing. Gentle touches are new to Illumi, since his skin is used to getting cut, beaten and abused. The first time you dared ttrying to kiss his neck his body froze in the middle of one of your sessions. The kiss had made his body tingle in a very unfamiliar way. As he didn’t stop you, you continued, and following that was the first time you experienced the more gentle side of your husband. His focus was no longer on just being efficient, but rather on experiencing more of that new tingling sensation of your soft lips against his neck. His hips slowed down into a calmer and more sensual pace than the way his dick had thrust into you in an almost methodical way. As a reward he even brought one of his adept hands down to your clit to make you cum at the same time he did.

I don’t think he’d be embarrassed about liking getting his neck kissed, but I think it will puzzle him at first how much he enjoys it. Not only neck kissing, but touching him softly and stroking his back during sex or foreplay will make it more likely that he’ll feel motived to make the sex into less of a chore.

Outside of sex I think he really likes to get his hair brushed and generally taken care of by his wife. Be careful to be gentle though, as he doesn’t like you pulling his hair, and even doing so by accident will lead to some kind of punishment

.   

HISOKA

Hisoka is another one of the trash men that doesn’t get embarrassed by anything. While Illumi can get puzzled by his enjoyment of some things, Hisoka is down right shameless. Nothing, and I repeat nothing, will make this man feel shameful.

Hisoka also has an unique talent of making any vanilla activity into something straight out of a porn movie. The reason being that his entire body is somewhat of an erogenous zone and that he’s, well, Hisoka, so the moaning will be extreme. Gently lick his neck and he’ll be like: *insert Hisoka’s crazy moaning here*

That being said, I can imagine him as being quite adaptive when it comes to his partner’s sexual preferences. If you’re kinky, he’s all for it, but I can see him enjoying vanilla sex as well from time to time, if that’s what you prefer. I feel like he’s more about his partner’s reactions, rather than exactly what is making those reactions happen. It would of course be situation based, as he sometimes would feel the need to be rough when he’s feeling pent up.

The most vanilla thing I can imagine, that even Hisoka can’t make kinky, is cuddling in bed while watching random reality TV. Hisoka actually enjoys cuddling a lot, so spending all day in bed lazily making out and occasionally having sex is something he’d enjoy. The sex would be soft, either missionary or some kind of spooning position combined with lots of kissing and groping. This could only take place after you’ve somehow managed to deplete his energy a bit, because if he’s feeling pent up or have some kind of project on his mind, he will not have time to spend all day in bed with you.  

Lastly, he’d also enjoy massages and he will, for sure, always expect a “happy finish”.

CHROLLO

Despite being someone who mostly keeps people at a distance, Chrollo sometimes really enjoys sex where he’s embracing you. His favourite position being spooning you from behind, but sometimes plain old missionary will be his pick.

You were quite surprised the first time it happened. Chrollo has such a domineering personality and he’d usually demand complete obedience from you both in and outside the bedroom. It does however happen that you see a different side of him. It would happen late at night after you’ve both gone to bed. I see Chrollo as being a very lightl sleeper because of his upbringing in Meteor City. Said childhood has led to him having trouble relaxing when trying to fall asleep, so maybe the sex makes it easier for him to calm down. He’d hold your sleepy form close to his chest as he finishes inside you, falling asleep with you in his arms (inconsiderate bastard doesn’t think about the fact that you’ll need to get out of bed and clean yourself up after, unless you want cum seeping out of you all night).

Even if he won’t admit to it, it's really obvious that he really enjoys having his ears kissed and caressed. Chrollo is a very perceptive individual so his ears are very sensitive to any type of foreign touch. It’s probably also nice to give his lobes to get a little break from all the abuse from those ginormous earrings he’s wearing...

Chrollo is a also a man of deception and if he needs to play the role of a loving boyfriend to someone other than you to get what he wants, he’ll have no problem doing so. He’ll kiss his target lovingly and have the softest of vanilla sex. He says to himself that it’s all an act, but sometimes I think he’d find himself really enjoying the closeness and intimacy, since he usually puts himself above you when engaging in sexual acts. He’ll tell himself that he’s only enjoying it because he’s too immersed in the scenario he’s playing out with his target. This man is in denial and he’ll keep his soft moments far, far away from the troupe.

TW: Crack

He also really loves to recite gothic love poems that he wrote himself to you during intercourse. He’d hold his poetry book in one hand while he thrusts slowly in and out of you tenderly. It all ends in a crescendo as he reads out the last line as he cums, a single manly tear running down his cheek. (Sorry, I had to join the Drag Chrollo Gang haha).

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yes. I took this adulthood and aging psychology class and I forget what it was exactly the documentary we had to watch was about, but I remember being on the verge of tears because it reminded me of my grandpa who passed away. 

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? Uhh, I don’t know? Just whenever I fall asleep.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Turkey, salami, and bologna.

What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summertime. 

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? Ew, no. 

What is your favorite color to wear? Black.

Are you an overachiever? No. Especially not these past few years where I haven’t done anything at all and put like no effort into anything. :/ At least when I was in school and things were better than how they’ve been the past few years I was productive in school and put effort into things and into myself. I’ve just given up. 

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Perfect teeth.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Uh, I definitely don’t want to marry Bambi... anyway, I’d say one of the characters Alexander Skarsgard has played.

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? I don’t know, a couple weeks or so.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? Ha, yeah, when I was like 16 during my emo days. They’re so cringe.

What is your favorite thing about your life? My family.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had? I honestly haven’t had a real, serious relationship.

Did you enjoy your past relationships? With Joseph I did.

Name a comedy that you like. Bridesmaids.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah, but I don’t plan on getting married.

What’s the best Nirvana song? Lithium.

What was the last thing that impressed you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

When was the last time you were in a pet store? It’s been awhile.

What nationality is your last name? Irish, I think.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Wavy Lay’s chips with ranch and French onion dip.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry? My brother.

Does your mom know you do surveys? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah, the one that made me a paraplegic.

What was the last thing you achieved? Uhhh.

Would you enjoy being famous? I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be famous.

What’s under your bed? Some medical supplies.

Do you enjoy travelling? Yes.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I was in a couple clubs in high school and the psych club in community college.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? It’s been a very long time.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? Hmm, I don’t recall. I might have.

Do you have a clock in your room? Yes, apart from the ones on my laptop, TV and phone, I have an actual wall clock as well.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? I didn’t take driver’s ed.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Hmm. Probably Toxic, Slave 4 U, Boys, and Lucky.

Does mind over matter work for you? Sometimes.

Are you paranoid? I definitely can be.

What is the best thing about winter? Christmastime and the weather. I love that time of year.

Have you ever been truly in love? I think so.

Are you currently planning a trip? No, I wish.

How many plants are in your home? Zero.

What is your favorite possession? All my stuff.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Yeah. I’ve been used and taken advantage of back in the day for being too nice.

What movies have tripped you out? There’s been a few.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? No.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? I’d like to say no, but I allowed Joseph to use and play me for 3 years, so. I knew deep down he didn’t feel the same way as I did and he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me, but I didn’t want to admit it. I liked the attention and the good times we had and I didn’t want to give that up. I would hope that now that I’m older and have experienced that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. And yes, I had a friend who put up with a whole lot worse for that reason.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t want that floating around or existing at all out there.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No.

What summertime treats do you love? Milkshakes and ice cream.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I mean, I have to be interested in the person and feel comfortable doing so.

What do you hate most about moving? The packing and unloading.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? I wouldn’t know.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? Just the Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Has anyone ever whistled at you? Not that I know of.

Do you like scarves? No. I don’t like things around my neck like that, it drives me nuts.

Is your father homophobic? No.

Do you take gummy vitamins? No. I don’t take vitamins at all, currently, although I really should.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? No.

Who would you like to meet before you die? I mean, I certainly wouldn’t mind meeting Alexander Skarsgard.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? I don’t feel comfortable being nude when I’m just by myself, I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so publicly. Absolutely not.

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? There’s been a lot, but of course I’m blanking at the moment. Most are pretty crazy, though.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? I hope that  go to heaven.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My loved ones. 

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? Ugh, seems like just about anything can. I’m so irritable and moody all the time.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? Yeah, me.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I loved Decode and Super Massive Blackhole. 

How old was the first person you kissed? He was 15 and I was 16.

Will you be a strict parent one day? I don’t want to have kids.

Last person to stand up for you? I don’t recall the last time I needed to be stood up for.

Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, I’ve been to a few.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother to see Candyman.

What’s your favorite high school memory? I liked the rallies and some of the assemblies.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? Being single is best for me.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? I don’t know. I’m such a scardy cat.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math.

Italian food or Chinese food? Italian.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? That wasn’t my usual study method, no. I preferred taking notes.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Ha, uh no.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? I only watched those when they were shown in some of my college classes or was assigned to for homework. I’ve never watched any on my own.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. I don’t feel that way about anyone.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? I have nothing to say about him tbh. <<<

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? I didn’t get into trouble.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? No.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? I don’t care.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Yeah, I got all 4.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loved jalapenos back when I could eat spicy food. Jalapeno poppers were bomb.

Did you ever play Minecraft? No.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? Yeah.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Ha, yeah. 

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I’m the victim of gun violence that made me a paraplegic at just 7 months old.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people and sick, perverted assholes.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? There’s a lot I’d like to change. 

Describe your first relationship? It wasn’t much of one but we had the title, ha. It also only lasted a few months.

Describe your last relationship? He used and played me and then kicked me to the curb when he was done.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? I’m a virgin, but I absolutely would practice safe sex. That’s very important. 

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? You just really feel, connect, and relate to certain things, like the characters and/or plot line and it has some kind of effect on you.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? Hopefully something good.

Do you feel protective over someone? My loved ones.

What perfume/cologne do you wear? I’ve been wearing this beachy scented body spray. I need to get a new one for fall.

Where did your vehicle come from? I don’t have my own car, I don’t drive.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I’m totally blanking.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Boneless chicken wings and chicken tenders.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: White with buttercream frosting.

What do you wear to bed? What I wear during the day, which is either lounge shorts or leggings and an oversized tee or t-shirt dress.

What were you doing at 8pm last night? I was eating dinner and watching Gilmore Girls.

[malphiguswrites]

ANALYSIS of The School of Athens

Denada Permatasari. 6 November 2017.

Fig 1.0 Fresco of Raphael's Scuola di Atene (The School of Athens), 1509-11 (courtesy of the Musei Vaticani).

The School of Athens by Raphael Sanzio, or more accurately, Raphael and his studio. This elaborate wall mural is a fresco in the Stanza della Segnatura, Vatican. Measuring 584 cm in length, this artwork was made in 1509 and finished in 1511.

I think that this artwork is a phenomenal masterpiece. From a technical standpoint, it is no debate that the scale and the mastery of human figures are impressive. Every single aspect is carefully planned, apparent from the detail of the backdrop to the individually distinctive figures present in the artwork. The symbolism in this work represent the core of Philosophy through subtle means of the wall division, the composition, down to the character’s body language, where they are situated, and even from the clothes they wear. In this essay, I discuss what all of the previously-stated elements mean and how they come together to give this artwork its meaning, and its significance.

Before delving into analysis of the artwork’s components, it is important to discuss why this artwork was made. This wall mural is part of Pope Julius II’s commission to decorate his private library (Zucker and Harris). The room has four sides, with each side representing the four branches of human knowledge at the time of High Renaissance: Philosophy, Divinity, Poetry, and Justice. The School of Athens, located on the east wall, represents Philosophy and is directly facing Disputa, representing Divinity (Zucker and Harris).

This placement, and the fact that this artwork is no less impressive than Disputa, can be seen as one of the defining attitudes of the High Renaissance: secularization. Here, the religiosity and philosophy are seen as equals, alongside poetry and justice. This is a big step from pre-Renaissance times when religion tended to dominate and rule above all aspects of life (qtd. in Toman iii).

Fig 1.1 Imagined horizontal and vertical lines of The School of Athens.

Moving on to the aspects of form of the artwork itself, I will first talk about its composition. In Fig 1.1, it is shown from the horizontal blue line that “… below the vaulted architecture and celestial backdrop, [Raphael] set the assembly of philosophers in the lower half field, on earth” (Rosand). This means that Raphael deliberately separated man, who is concrete and earthly, from the abstract.

Fig 1.2 Areas of interest in The School of Athens, as labeled with numbers.

Next, the vertical red line between the two figures in the center of the artwork (Area 1 in Fig 1.2). This imagined line serves as a divider for the opposing school of thoughts in Philosophy: Plato, the older man on the left, represents the ethereal and the abstract. He represents the belief that “… there is a realm that is based on mathematics, on pure idea that is truer than the everyday world that we see” (Zucker and Harris). Whereas Aristotle, the younger man on his right, represents the belief “… on the observable, the actual, [and] the physical” (Zucker and Harris).

This divide can be seen from the other characters’ placement in the artwork. In Area 2 (Fig 1.2), which is Plato’s side, are a cluster of people who are also concerned who explains the world from an abstract, cosmic lens (Rosand). This is contrasted by the group of people (Area 3) in Aristotle’s side, who explains the world through factual and concrete means (Rosand). I shall explain how I know the aforementioned observations through analyzing the elements, aspects of form, and the identity of each figure that makes up The School of Athens.

Fig 1.3 Zoom in of Plato and Aristotle.

First, the two main figures (Fig 1.3) in the center of the fresco (Area 1). They are separated from the others by the arc frame of the background. I have said before that the older man on the left is Plato, and the younger man is Aristotle, Plato’s pupil. They are also holding their own books, Plato with his Timaeus, and Aristotle with his Ethics. This section of the essay will highlight how the subject matter and design elements reflect the meaning of the divide in schools of Philosophy.

Plato, representing the ideal and the abstract, wears purple and red. “… The purple, referring to the ether, what we would call the air, [and] the red to fire, neither of which have weight” (Zucker and Harris). Whereas “Aristotle wears blue and brown, that is colors of earth and water, which have gravity [and] weight” (Zucker and Harris). This contrast between the abstract versus the concrete is further compounded by their body language: Plato, pointing up to the heavens, to the realm of high thinking, his bare feet just merely planted on the ground. Aristotle, his hand splayed downwards to the ground, wearing gilded sandals, feet firm on the tiles (Rosand).

Second, the homage to ancient antiquity, apparent in the pagan sculptures of Apollo on the top left and Athena on the right (Rosand). The design of the architecture, with coffered barrel vaults, pilasters, et cetera, is ancient Roman design as well. The god and goddess of the ancient times only reinforce the conceptual divide of the artwork, with Apollo, the god of music and poetry, things that are appropriately platonic (Rosand). Then there is Athena, the goddess of war and wisdom, who is more involved in the practical affairs of man (Zucker and Harris).

The architecture design, which is equal throughout the artwork, represents the unifier in this artwork full of divides. They serve as a reminder that even though there is a fundamental divide in perspective, all of them are still under the same branch, Philosophy (Rosand).

Fig 1.4 The labeling of figures in Plato’s side using capital alphabets from A to F.

Third, the groups of people on Plato’s lower side in Area 2 (Fig 1.2). These figures are labeled with letters (Fig 1.4). Though the identities of many of the figures here is much debated, since Raphael did not leave any notes or annotations, let’s agree for the sake of discussion that:

A: Pythagoras, a Greek philosopher and mathematician who is arguably in the center of this group gathering. He sought to discover the mathematical principles of reality through musical harmony and geometry (Rosand).

B: Boethius, a Greek philosopher who wrote The Consolation of Philosophy (Lahanas).

C: Anaxagoras, a Greek philosopher that correctly explains solar eclipses and the presence of small particles (atoms) in all objects (Agutie).

D: Parmenides, a Greek philosopher who founded the method of reasoned proof for assertions (Agutie).

E: Hypatia, an Alexandrian philosopher, mathematician, and astronomer. She is considered to be the most famous student in the School of Athens (Lahanas).

F: Ibn Rushd (Latin: Averroes), a Spanish-Arab philosopher who wrote commentaries on almost all of Aristotle’s writings and major works of Plato (Agutie).

All of the figures in this cluster are concerned with the cosmic, bigger-picture truths, echoing Plato’s ideals. Moreover, two figures in this cluster deserve special attention: Hypatia and Ibn Rushd. Hypatia’s placement in Plato’s side is reminiscent of Plato’s principle of women’s equality (Fakhry), in fact she is the only woman in the whole artwork. On the other hand, Ibn Rushd’s placement in Plato’s side is curious, since he is more associated with Aristotle’s works more so than that of Plato’s (Fakhry). Even so, Raphael must be commended for including a woman as an equal with men and a Muslim figure, which was seen as radical and out of line in his era.

Fig 1.5 The labeling of figures in Aristotle’s side using capital alphabets from G to J.

Fourth, the group that represents Aristotle’s way of thought in Area 3 (Fig 1.2), concerned with the physical and the concrete. They are labeled with letters (Fig 1.5), with identities as follows:

G: Euclid, a Greek mathematician. He is the father of geometry and is seen bent down, applying geometry with a compass to a tablet, flat on the ground (Rosand).

H: Zoroaster, a Greek astronomer, founder of Zoroastrianism, holding a celestial orb (Agutie).

I: Ptolemy, the royal astronomer, who was the first to believe that all heavenly bodies revolve around the earth (Agutie).

J: Raphael, the artist himself in black, and his mentor in art, Sodoma, in white (Lahanas).

The figures in Aristotle’s side are arguably more interesting than Plato’s, as there is more diversity in terms of the principles that the figures represent. Of course, they are all still united in their more earthly and human-centric concerns, but the inclusion of the artist’s self-portrait is the main highlight of this area of interest. For Raphael to include himself is a historical statement, as stated by Dr. Beth Harris, “… here, the artist is considered an intellectual, on par with some [of] the greatest thinkers in history” (Zucker and Harris).

Fig 1.6 Zoom in detail of Heraclitus.

Last, but certainly not least, is the lone figure of Heraclitus (Fig 1.6), an ancient philosopher that sits and thinks alone, separated from the others (Area 4 in Fig 1.2). What makes this figure stand out is the fact that he is a deviation from the orthogonal perspective of the whole artwork. Apart from Diogenes, who is sprawled on the steps, also by himself, Heraclitus feels out of place in the artwork. This is because Heraclitus was actually added after the fresco was finished (Rosand).

At this point, I will discuss the personal aspect that Raphael weaved throughout this commission; Heraclitus’ figure is one of them. The model for this ancient philosopher is actually based off of Michelangelo, and this insertion, this acknowledgment of the older artist is very curious in of itself. The personal antipathy between them is well known; Raphael, the sociable and cultured artist was intensely disliked by Michelangelo, the brooding and melancholic artist, who accused him of stealing his ideas from the Sistine ceiling (Hale 274). For Raphael to include him in his impressive fresco can be said as an homage or a tribute to Michelangelo (Rosand). This speaks of Raphael’s respect and regard for the other artist despite their differences.

Heraclitus is not the only figure who is modeled after someone else –in fact, most of the major figures in this artwork are modeled after someone else- take, for instance, Plato who is actually modeled after Leonardo da Vinci (Toman 336), an artist that highly inspired Raphael. For him to model Plato, the central figure of his fresco and one of the greatest thinkers of all time after Leonardo is a significant honor to his person. Another instance is Euclid. The geometer is actually modeled after Bramante the architect, Raphael’s friend and professional companion (Toman 336). His tribute for Bramante doesn’t end there; the architectural design of the background is actually inspired by Bramante’s architectural design and vision (Martindale 83).

All of the analysis of the components, and how even the smallest things contribute to a greater meaning, is the main reason why I think this artwork is phenomenal. If anything is to be obvious from my essay, is the amount of planning, effort, and thoughtfulness that Raphael did for this fresco. For me, personally, there is nothing more impressive than a successful execution with an underlying concept that is well thought of in every step of the way. In this, I am very pleased with Raphael’s technical skill to make something so legible on an intimidating scale, yet still retaining a degree of thoughtfulness that is apparent in every single dot of his fresco.

To further compound this, I am not the only one who thinks that this artwork is extraordinary. The School of Athens has received high regard from the moment of its completion, even until the present day. The Stanza della Segnatura has been a famous tourist attraction because of the wall frescoes that Raphael made, and The School of Athens is arguably the main attraction in the Vatican Palace.

Most importantly, however, is Raphael’s own influence on the High Renaissance, and what follows after. As Johan Huizinga, a Dutch art historian has stated:

The Renaissance marks the rise of the individual, the awakening of a desire for beauty, a triumphal procession of joyful life, the intellectual conquest of physical realities, … a dawning of consciousness of the relationship of the individual to the natural world around him (qtd. in Toman i).

To attribute all of those values of the Renaissance to just The School of Athens is optimistic at best and naïve at worst, but it is worth acknowledging that The School of Athens is one of the main highlights of the High Renaissance, and certainly sums up the entirety of the High Renaissance. In this light, Raphael deserves much acclaim, as written by Luitpold Dussler in his book Raphael:

Raphael has left an indelible mark on art. He revolutionized portrait painting … and epitomized the style which has come to be known as High Renaissance. … Perhaps Raphael’s greatest achievement is that he appeals on all levels and makes something profoundly deep and complex appear simple and comprehensible (qtd. in Hale 275).

In conclusion, the value of Raphael’s The School of Athens is that it is invaluable. It was significant by the time it was completed, and is still significant even today, more than five hundred years later. More than just a room decoration, it speaks of the general perspective of Philosophy during the early 16th century. Raphael’s ability to condense such a difficult, multi-faceted discipline into a thoughtful work of art that can be appreciated by anyone, at any level, is a testament to his remarkable technical skill and conceptual knowledge.

I will end my essay with one conviction: that The School of Athens is one of the definitive artworks of the High Renaissance, and I hope that the significance of attributing an entire period to one single artwork is realized and acknowledged.

Works Cited

Zucker, Steven and Beth Harris. “Raphael, School of Athens.” Smarthistory. 27 Jul. 2014. 3 Nov 2017.

Toman, Rolf. Introduction. The Art of the Italian Renaissance. Germany: Könemann, 1995. Print. i, iii, 336.

Rosand, David. “Raphael’s Fresco of The School of Athens in the Stanza della Segnatura of the Vatican Palace.” Columbia University. New York. N.d. 3 Nov 2017.

Lahanas, Michael. “The School of Athens, ‘Who is Who?’ Puzzle.” Hellenica World. N. d. 3 Nov 2017 <http://www.hellenicaworld.com/Greece/Science/en/ SchoolAthens.html>.

Agutie. “Raphael (1483-1520): The School of Athens, 1509. Interactive Map.” Geometry from the Land of the Incas. 13 Jul 2014. 3 Nov 2017 <http://agutie.homestead.com/files/school_athens_map.html>.

Fakhry, Majid. Averroes (Ibn Rushd) His Life, Works and Influence. London: Oneworld Publications, 2001. N. p.

“Raphael.” Encyclopaedia of the Italian Renaissance. Ed. J. R. Hale. Lindon: Thames and Hudson,1981. Print. 274-275.

Martindale, Andrew. Man and the Renaissance. London: Paul Hamlyn Limited. 1966. Print. 83.

[soldouthaz]

I really want to start writing fics because writing has always been a passion of mine, and what better way to use it than to write about and interact with a fandom i'm passionate about as well, right? the problem is that i'm a 'gifted kid' with both adhd and depression, which makes for both lack of motivation and lack of attention span, even if I'm mentally obsessing over what I'm working on, I'll have a lot of trouble actually doing it. (1/2)

On top of that, I tend to back away or give up completely if I don't have an immediate knack for something or if I hit a roadblock of sorts. Do you have any tips for me, and, more specifically, for how to explore your passions even when your brain chemistry is kicking your ass? (2/2)

hi!! what a good question!!! I've always struggled with some of this myself so I'll do my best to give some good advice below the cut!!! 

- just a quick tw for anyone who may be sensitive to topics including depression or other similar mental health conditions! -

(i’ll talk about a few things regarding the adhd/depression and then I'll include some advice at the end for you!!! this got kind of long (sorry!) but if you read anything, make sure it’s the end!)

so this was something I struggled with big time for a while when I first started writing! I don’t have ADHD but I do have OCD, which is also quite the cocktail with depression so I feel your pain! i understand how frustrating it is because writing is very two sided in my experience, meaning on one hand it’s cathartic and eases anxiety, but on the other hand it can induce those negative feelings just as quickly as it got rid of them if you’re too overwhelmed while doing so.

depression is always the heavy hitter for me personally. I can have so many ideas and so much excitement for them and yet when I sit down to write everything seems so overwhelming that I end up backing out of it and leaving it for later for the millionth time. mine is mostly seasonal as well, so i go through periods of time (like these past few months) where i get very unmotivated and don’t write much at all. it’s an annoying cycle to then feel unproductive and know that you want to do it but you don’t do it but you feel like you should etc. etc..

the ADHD (or OCD in my case) seems to always be more of an environment issue for me. I really can only write more than a few sentences once I'm alone in the dead of night, when everyone else is asleep and I'm in control of my surroundings -- for example, the volume (music, fans, tv, etc), position (where I'm sitting, what’s around me), and being comfortable (comfy clothes, blankets, etc). I'm a big sensory person so if something’s even slightly brushing my arm in the wrong way, I can’t get into what I'm doing.

but i also understand what you mean strictly focus wise, when you’re trying to plan out your ideas and just keep jumping from one thing to another! (by the way i love that you mentioned when you're not good at something immediately you tend to give up - i do the same thing!) this is where i’ll try to give you some of the tips that helped me personally!

not too get too sappy, but to me the beauty of writing has always been that there is no right or wrong way to do it. the most difficult part of it is nailing down the fact that you should write for yourself and not simply to get hits or kudos or comments or anything. it should be fun and ultimately rewarding, and if it isn’t, don’t try to force yourself!

this is where the flip side of the adhd/depression + writing debate comes in -- finishing a piece of work can be one of the best feelings in the world, no matter how big or small or if other people enjoy it or not. because now you’ve got something that you can point to and say hey, i did that! i created this thing and put it into the world regardless of the challenges i might have encountered along the way or anyone else’s judgement! and that’s a wonderful feeling, especially if you’re like me when you feel lazy or unproductive half the time and the other half of you is constantly restless, full of energy with no other outlet for it.

so my advice to you would be to start small. it took me months to finish the first fic that i published because i split it up into portions and didn’t force myself if i truly didn’t want to write that day. to elaborate about ‘small’, there’s several different options!

before i got into fandom writing, poetry was the holy grail for me because it didn’t require much effort! i used my phone or the nearest notebook i had to just scribble down my feelings in just a few lines. it helped me feel better quickly just to get it off my chest, it wasn’t time consuming, and there was no planning required so it wasn’t overwhelming to me! poetry is fun to just play around with and you can kind of make up your own rules, so feel free to try that as a warm up or experiment as well!

but you mentioned specifically fics and fandom writing, so there are some options for that as well!

drabbles are a great idea as an intro to writing in my opinion! they’re wonderful practice for finding your ‘writing voice’ and learning which genres and topics you enjoy writing about before diving headfirst into a long fic! if you plan on publishing it, they’re also a great way to set the tone for readers of what your future works will be like! (another exercise similar to this is word prompts, where you choose a random word and just try to write and see what comes out!)

WIPs are fairly controversial, but who cares? if you’ve got something you want to write and you want to publish a chapter indefinitely throughout the year just when you feel like it, go for it! it’s still a creative outlet and it’s still you expressing yourself, which means it’s fully worth it.

that being said, my entire world changed after i started outlining. if you want to write a full fic to be published at once, the most helpful thing is to have a plan. it doesn’t have to be nailed down or perfect, but even just scribbling down some random scene ideas or plot points can help! from there, if you feel like it, you can go as detailed as you want and add things like goal word count, character bios, etc. until it begins to take the shape of a full story!

while keeping all of this in mind, i know i’m stressing it but it’s so important to remember that how you view this can be the change in how all of this pans out. writing for yourself is the goal here -- getting attached to hits or kudos or reblogs only provides temporary validation. it’s nice but it’s not going to give you that emotional payoff.

you mentioned that writing was a passion of yours and writing can be extremely cathartic, especially when you’re writing about an interest or something you love! no part of it should be extremely stressful or make you more anxious than when you started. i honestly can’t recommend it enough, even if you don’t share your first drafts or if you end up scrapping parts of it later on. no matter how long or short it is and no matter if it’s something you think people will read or not.

with depression and ADHD especially, writing is the perfect mix of pushing yourself and achieving goals without going too far, and it’s helped me in my own mental health journey immensely. (most of my works are just emotion-dumps where i use my characters and storylines to cope with whatever’s going on in my current life!) it’s a type of therapy in itself, and to be able to share it in a community of people that view it the same way is just an added bonus! 

speaking more generally regarding your point about trying to enjoy your interests while also dealing with mental health conditions that limit your ability to do so, my go-to method is always just to take it as it comes, or break it down into easier sections to deal with. if i’m doing something and i’m aware of and actively trying to fight an OCD tic (or in your case ADHD behavior), it’s only going to make me more anxious. so my advice would be to take a break and do something comforting to calm down, then return to what you were doing before. we have to remember to be kind to ourselves, especially in this weird time!

conversely, with depression, i try to push myself just slightly. my brain usually wants to give up and shut down and sometimes that’s okay too, but it usually pays off for me if i bargain with myself to keep going or keep trying, like promising myself a nap or some relaxing time if i can finish x amount of whatever i’m working on, if that makes sense. a little bit can go a long way!

ahh sorry, this one kind of got away from me! i’m sorry it’s so lengthy but i hope some part of it resonated with you! the ask touched on a lot of different things so if you need me to clarify anything or elaborate or if you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me again! i also made a post about my writing process a while ago if that’s something you’d be interested in, and this post from the other day has some other tips on dealing with grief/anxiety that may also be helpful for your situation! 

(also, I'd just like to point out that just from your ask alone I can tell you write really well! I would be very interested in reading something of yours in the future!) 

I'm wishing you the best of luck with your first venture into writing and fics, and I'd be more than happy to help you in any way that I can! I can’t wait to see what all you do <33333 

[jenner-benjamin]

Seen as Read

Parietal Poem written with acrylic paint on Moleskine sketchbook paper.

Seen as Read was a seven week online course hosted by SJ Fowler and offered the chance to explore a variety of visual poetry processes. Each week we were sent a presentation of source material, ideas and inspiration for the week ahead. We would then use this as a basis for investigation and offer our thoughts, outcomes and works in progress on a blog forum for everyone to share and comment on. 

The course introduced us to the study of visual poetry which I found extremely enlightening. There were aspects of the history of aesthetic linguistics that I had not considered until starting this course. On offering a definition of poetry Fowler explained that it was ‘language referent which doesn’t posit communication or information as its primary purpose’ - therefore a haiku and a scrawled note on the back of a receipt are both forms of poetry.

In the first week we were taught about the difference between phonograms and logograms; phonograms use individual written characters to represent sounds, whereas logograms are written characters that represent whole words. Examples of logograms would include; ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics and Mayan scripts. I found the historical detail of this week to be very beneficial. I was not naive to how widespread visual poetry is around the globe, but had not considered how far back in time one could come across it. We were introduced to a plethora of artists and reference points that included the likes of Henri Michaux, Cy Twombly, The Voynich Manuscript and the Rosetta Stone (as well as some more obscure points of interest).

As an ode to the parietal poetry on cave walls, the first activity I indulged in was making my own poems with my finger tips. I explained how there was an acute closeness to the material when applying it directly with your fingers. This way of working mirrored the close-to-hand ethos that I explored during the three month lockdown earlier in the year.

Parietal Poem written with an ink stamp pad on Moleskine sketchbook paper.

After this exercise I chose to make my own sequence of logograms, taking inspiration from things found in my bedroom. I wrote these on exercise book paper and began practicing my invented glyphs. The rhythmic repitition of scrawling the glyphs over and over reminded me of my childhood when I was learning to write the alphabet on lined paper. The reiteration of writing the same character allows for delicate differences inferred by it being handwritten that the eye becomes drawn to. I intended to compose these glyphs in to poetry during the week but for now I quite enjoy them as they are.

An example of a repeated logogram on exercise book paper.

An example of a repeated logogram on exercise book paper.

An example of a repeated logogram on exercise book paper.

The second week was beneficial in encouraging me ask questions about the nature of writing. I do often fear that the work I make runs the risk of becoming relentless and contrived so this was particularly useful.

We were asked to ponder what is the visual character of writing? What is writing without semantic meaning? What is the capacity for an imagined language to mean beyond the representational or referential? This served as an excellent starting point for the week ahead. With reference to what Fowler posited in the first week’s presentation I would reiterate that writing without semantic meaning is pure poetry - it does not seek to communicate information as its primary purpose. I would also argue that an asemic written language can still ‘mean’ despite it being non representational or referential. The meaning might be entirely aesthetic, or it might be emotionally expressive, it might even exist as a means of translating a pre-existing language.

As a printmaker I have wrestled with where the process fits in the world of printmaking. Is asemic writing to be drawn or written only? Would repeating the writing through a print process detract from its agency as a handwritten process? I was stimulated by the prompt in the slides about formulating an alphabetical system that is pictorial or logogrammatic. Encouraged by this and my previous research into typography I decided to make my own asemic font. I felt the exercise would be a good way of marrying asemic writing with printmaking - my thinking being the font could be physically made and printed in a typesetter.

A translation of the first five letters in the first draft of my asemic typeface.

My starting point was going through my sketchbooks and portfolio to locate certain asemic characters that I had repeated over the months. It was this set of characters that I then digitised on my phone, attributing each character form to existing letters, numbers and punctuation marks.

Overall I found this exercise to be very successful as my first attempt at digitising my asemic language. Now that I have the app saved to my phone I can experiment with it further and design a cohesive body of abstract letterforms to print from when university reopens. I feel that this is the first step in potentially creating publications and artist books that find a common ground between asemic writing and printmaking.

‘Pangram’ - a sentence that uses every letter in the alphabet - first draft of my asemic typeface.

A selection of letters written in the second draft of my asemic typeface.

There is much scope for experimentation and a playfulness around the idea of the typeface being decoded. I could explore the dialogue between asemic writing being solely abstract and yet decipherable. I might be tempted to play on this in the same way Luigi Serafini did in his Codex Seraphinianus. With the existence of caesar cyphers and cypher wheels there is a wealth of opportunity for further consideration.

I came across weeks that I struggled with more so than others, in particular those based on art poetry and concrete poetry. I think that because the lines are so blurred between the subjects of each week I found that I was a little unsure as to how to approach them for fear of what I make not falling under the ‘correct’ umbrella. In hindsight I think the most fruitful approach would have been to read and research more and put less emphasis on creating, after all this was a learning experience and not a deadline for the next great work of art. 

I took a selection of lyrics from Enter Shikari’s most recent album ‘Nothing is True & Everything is Possible’ and made a series of monoprints on newsprint that I initially thought could be pasted on to a wall but in actual fact work quite well as a poem in book form. The lyrics work as individual loose leaves but when coupled with the repetition of the word ‘meanwhile’ they become quite powerful and moving. The poem reads as follows:

Meanwhile,

Masking weakness, masking woe.

We'll disobey our Frankenstein.

Meanwhile,

It's primal, it's tribal.

And I'll die.

Red sky at night, a shepherd's flashlight,

This isn't what I planned.

We orbit fast.

Meanwhile,

Search and seek,

I'm gonna track you down,

Search and seek,

A cosmic dance.

Now I see you,

I can't walk away.

Meanwhile,

I wish this was over, after dark.

Meanwhile,

Nothing is true,

You're not really here.

Meanwhile,

Give me a sign,

Why?

Meanwhile,

I no longer want to hide,

I am the judge,

I can hear alarm bells,

A crisis of creativity.

‘You’re not really here’ - monoprint on newsprint.

‘A crisis of creativity’ - monoprint on newsprint.

‘A cosmic dance’ - monoprint on newsprint.

‘We’ll disobey our Frankenstein’ - monoprint on newsprint.

Concrete poetry found me very much outside my comfort zone, my work tends to be more loose and free and I found myself thinking a bit more rigidly. I am used to working with a bit more expression and gesture, so this was quite the challenge. Nevertheless I made an attempt at some concrete poems of the many plants I have dotted around the place. These were made whilst isolating at home, I found that in times where I felt unsettled and uneasy it was good to have some positive growth in the form of plant-life keeping me company. These ideas are very basic and leave much room for improvement, should I wish to return to this method of working. 

‘Plant Pot’ - letraset on Moleskine sketchbook paper.

‘Cactus Pot’ - letraset on Moleskine sketchbook paper.

‘Ivy Ivy Ivy’ - letraset on Moleskine sketchbook paper.

‘Cactus’ - letraset on Moleskine sketchbook paper.

One of the later weeks of the course prompted the notion of scale. What would be the consequence of making poetry for a billboard wall? I have briefly discussed how my work tends to be quite intimate, typically taking the form of smaller tactile prints or books. The prospect of poster art seemed a bit daunting at first. What sentiment would the text offer when not only enlarged for all to see, but also in the public domain as opposed to the sometimes solitary book format?

I composed some poetry earlier on in the year as part of an artist residency at Bower Ashton Library that will be bound in to small poetry anthologies when the university studios re-open. For the purpose of this week’s prompts I made an installation in my bedroom studio, projecting these poems and corresponding drawings on to the walls at various angles. The results aren’t quite as I’d hoped or imagined but the chance to experiment with the concept was a welcome one, I am keen to return to this and develop it further. This week highlighted that there a multitude of ways we might interact with our audience and the value of looking at your work with fresh eyes. 

‘Your Mouth’ - poem projected onto an interior wall.

‘Black, White and Grey’ - poem projected onto an interior wall.

‘Two Men’ - poem projected onto an interior wall.

The final output I made during the course was an edition of artist’s books inspired by monostich poetry. I hadn’t heard of it before and wondered how I could make a book with just one line of text. I made monoprints of a line from the Spin Doctors' song, ‘Two Princes’ that reads, ‘if you would like to talk for hours, just go ahead now’. This varied edition of concertina books is a dialogue of sorts between the ‘two princes’, each side being a line spoken.

‘Two Princes’ - accordion folded artist’s book with monoprinted pages.

‘Two Princes’ - accordion folded artist’s book with monoprinted pages.

‘Two Princes’ - accordion folded artist’s book with monoprinted pages.

‘Two Princes’ - accordion folded artist’s book with monoprinted pages.

‘Two Princes’ - accordion folded artist’s book with monoprinted pages.

‘Two Princes’ - accordion folded artist’s book with monoprinted pages.

Participation on the Seen as Read course has been extremely beneficial. I have been tempted out of my creative comfort zone on more than one occasion, which is always a valuable tool as an artist. It teaches you to not rest on your laurels and even though you will most likely return to your favoured processes, you might bring with you a method of creating that you had not before. The most worthwhile aspect to take away is the contacts I have made. A handful of participants have agreed to continue our correspondence beyond the confines of the seven weeks and will proceed to critique and support each other on a similar online forum to that which we have used for Seen as Read. I hope that this is the beginning of an active role in joining in the global conversation regarding visual poetry.   

[breaniebree]

Can you share your journey as a writer? How the idea of writing fanfics came into your mind? Do you have other own fiction too? Also how do start a particular fanfic? As in do you make notes, timeline or character sketches and stuff or do you just go ahead and write and then make notes on facts?

What an interesting question -- thank you for asking!  This is literally going to be a novel response (letting you know in advance LOL)

My journey as a writer... I guess I always wrote things down, started as a child when I wrote in a diary and then as I got older I wrote a little poetry, none of it very good (though I wrote a poem when I was twelve to describe the loss I felt when my Nana, my great-grandmother died, and my aunt read it aloud at her funeral).  I wrote a few short stories, just little things, prompts from teachers in school and such and then one day I decided I wanted to write my own story.  But funnily enough, it actually came about through fan fiction.  

I used to love this book series back when I was ten called Trash by Cherie Bennett, and I was completely in love with the characters Chelsey and Nick, and when Jazz claimed that she was pregnant and Nick was the father and it did ended on a cliffhanger and I didn’t have the next book, I remember writing my own version of what happened next -- God, looking back, it was probably terrible, I definitely don’t have it anymore.  Pretty sure the book series isn’t that great looking back at it now, but when I was ten, it was great! LOL.  I also wrote a side story for Demetrius and Karma, so even then I guess I branched off into subplots.  When I was fourteen, I started my own original series, which I am still currently working on and probably will be for the rest of my life if I’m honest -- it’s changed over the years, but the characters and my ultimate goal have stayed the same.

How did writing fanfiction come into mind?  

Well, with Harry Potter, it was because of my friend Chris.  We used to talk on the phone every single night after school for hours on end and after HBP came out and Harry and Ginny were FINALLY together only for him break up with her, I was so livid that I had to wait to find out what happened!  I remember Chris and I debated what would happen in the last book for ages and one day I must have ranted too much because he told me to go write my own story if I didn’t want to wait, so I did.  

I was seventeen and it was Harry Potter and the Prophecy Fulfilled: Which looking back at it now, I think it’s not exactly the greatest story lol and you can definitely see where I’ve improved since then.  After finishing HPPH, I ended up still having different ideas, all Hinny, and went on to write a few one-shots: Almost Too Late and Beautiful Mess.  Then I started writing A Different Beginning, which turned into my Beginning series: A Different Beginning, A New Beginning, Why Don’t We Just Dance?, Life Is Fickle Like That, Graduation Party, and The Reunion.  Those of you who have been reading my fanfiction since the beginning know that I originally posted the above stories on SIYE between 2005 and 2007 and had then completed (except for the second half of Life is Fickle onwards before Deathly Hallows was published).  I didn’t start posting on fanfiction.net until 2008 and only recently on Ao3.  Somewhere in between writing the Beginning Series, I also wrote a few other Hinny one-shots including The Greatest Gift, She Never Lets It Get To Her Heart, I Loved Her First (actually Arthur POV, which I later incorporated into the Beginning Series), The River (which is a standalone but also can be read as part of the Beginning Series), When the Sand Runs Out, and then the mini-series Padfoot’s Advice (Late Night Talks with Padfoot 1 & 2, Padfoot’s Advice, and Secrets from the Past).  Then I wrote the short Hinny/Romione story: The Trouble With Secrets and was inspired to write a Jily series, which I did with Crazy Little Thing Called Love, which could technically be a prequel to the Beginning Series as I kept some of the story similar.  I also wrote a Jily one-shot called Flowers and another Hinny one-shot called I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend.

I didn’t plan on writing any more fanfiction as university became busy, but then in 2017 I started writing these little Missing Moments for Harry and Ginny both before HBP and then during, and then after.  I just sort of compiled them on my computer for a while, wondering if it would turn into a story or not and then the idea came to me one day for A Second Chance after seeing some fan art of a five-year-old-Harry in sunshades and a leather jacket while riding a child’s motorbike next to Sirius in the same outfit and the next thing I knew, this story just pored out of me in February of 2018, I had the first twelve chapters written by March and another five by April.  I started posting the Missing Moments compilation, added a few more things including the Remus and Petunia scene from ASC and kept writing A Second Chance and in May, decided it was time to share it and uploaded the first twelve chapters.  

By the time I realized it was going to be a long one, I knew which characters I would sacrifice and how it would end, but how I was going to get there I still have no idea.  I’m not a writer who methodically plots.  I have a few general bullet points at the end of my current WIP chapter and that’s really it.  I add to it occasionally as I go, but mostly, I just write as I go along.  I can’t tell you how many chapters it will be or how long it will take me to get to the next section because frankly, it’s constantly changes.  I do not write in chronological order, which means I am often writing anywhere between 2-6 chapters at the same time depending on what scene has drawn my attention.  I might write something today that fits in the chapter I am currently working on and then by the time I finish writing other stuff, I realize that it doesn’t really fit there and stick it ahead into the next chapter or ten chapters from now.  I write where my heart takes me and where my creativity flows.  

I rarely ever work on more than one story at the same time, though I did write the short Newtina one-shot for my friend Heather as a Christmas present in 2018.  She requested it and I couldn’t write it, I found it so hard as I like them but it’s not characters I loved enough to write so I did it with a Luna spin-in, which I found helped.  I never take writing requests so this was very different for me, but I think it turned out cute: Say Love, ‘Cause We Got All the Time in the World.  I only recently uploaded it a month or so ago because I found it on my computer LOL.

Do you make notes, timeline or character sketches and stuff or do you just go ahead and write and then make notes on facts?

Once I am into the story, my notes are EXTREMELY detailed.  I do have a time line and separate documents for the following:

Character lists and family trees

General notes on: Political stuff, bills I’ve written, the sacred 28 document I wrote, tattoos mentioned, important dates, moon cycle dates of Remus’ life, classes I’ve invented (what they are about, who teaches them etc), textbook list per school year, notes on each Animagus form and information about their animals, actual time tables I wrote up Monday to Friday for Harry’s third/fourth, and fifth year, details of Zee and Tonks’ engagement rings, history and outline of Dante’s circles of hell with notes on how to incorporate into story, notes on pregnancy, character’s wands, geographic locations of characters, and any other little notes I think are important but don’t belong in the bullet points at the end of my current WIP chapter

History and ancestry of each family (from Harry Potter Lexicon, Pottermore, Harry Potter wiki, and my own personal creations).  This also includes manor information for Potter, Black, Longbottom, Nott, and Malfoy.

Hogwarts lay-out including stuff I’ve added or made up

Ministry of Magic departments and people (known and created)

List of spells (including ones I’ve made up and which chapter and which character introduced it to who)

List and pictures of Sirius’ motorbikes with information on each one

List of Pensieve memories and marauder moments (crossed out which ones I’ve shared already, some are written and waiting to be used and others just a general idea)

Terms and phrases from different languages I’ve used in the past

My playlist of songs I have mentioned in the story

An entire document dedicated to Operation FUVP including a Voldemort timeline which I have now shared in the story itself (also includes when and where each character found the Horcruxes)

A list of some of the recipes I mentioned, and 

I have a 72 page document that is literally just detailed chapter summaries to help me remember what the hell I’ve written LOL (also highlights introductions to new characters in a different font colour to help me find out when people were introduced).

Hope this answers your question -- thank you again for asking!

[nutmegpirate]

Tao Kallan

[GENERAL] Age: 343; looks/feels 22 Gender: Female Species: Tiger Therian Height & Weight: 5'6 (167.6cm); 130lbs (59kg) Birthday: May 15th Occupation: Waiter (former mercenary) Relationship Status: Single Orientation: fitesexual currently undecided Faction: Rosario

[IDENTITY] Personality: + Confident + Fearless + Enthusiastic = Competitive - Hot-headed - Stubborn - Reckless

As a born fighter, Tao loves the thrill of a good brawl, whether it be an impulsive scrap in the street or a coordinated, weapons-out battle. Despite her explosive personality, she keeps her head clear in heated situations - especially those she creates herself. While not at all shy or introverted, she is a natural loner due to her hard-headed stubborness. She works best alone and even better against others, preferring casual rivalries to actual friendships. Fortunate is the soul whom she calls friend. She uses her love of fun and competition to bury uncomfortable feelings such as grief, loneliness, and especially romantic ones, which confuse her the most. These feelings do not exist, okay??!! Despite her ability to hold rational thought under stress, she often overextends herself when the blood runs hot, throwing herself into situations much too large for her to deal with or addressing people with too much enthusiasm or anger and driving them away. She views frightening things merely as new challenges to take on, which she does with glee. Backstory:

When Tao was young, she ran away from home.

Not for long, of course. She was still a child, barely tall enough to turn the door handle on her own. She slipped away when her tutor's back was turned, leaving her history lesson on the table, and was almost a mile into the woods around the estate by the time her family caught her and took her home. It was her first escape, and it wouldn't be her last.

Tao's family were artists, all of them in different disciplines. Her mother was a writer, a literary architect, crafting great literature and collections of poetry. Her father sang, and had once graced the stages of concert halls before settling down at the estate to raise his family. The eldest brother learned music from him and filled pages with compositions both vocal and instrumental. And the second brother became a master of paint and canvas, drawing forth worlds of color and light with his brush.

And not a single one of them knew how to have fun! So Tao ran away from home. She got better at it, the more she practiced. The longer she stayed away, the fewer fistfights she got in with visiting families' children, and the fewer scoldings she received for dancing too wildly at the stately dinners and galas held at the estate. She learned new lessons, not from a tutor, but from nature. She learned to stand in the stream until the fish nibbled her ankles and to snatch one out of the water with her claws. She learned how to snap sparks using magic into a dry pile of leaves for a cook fire. She learned how the animals moved in hidden trails through the underbrush, and how they rested, camouflaged, in sun-speckled shadows. She learned how the winds brought the weather and how to dig out an embankment for shelter in a storm. At first, she could stay away for hours. When she reached her teens, she was gone for days.

Then she never came back at all.

Her shirking of lessons came back to bite her. With little knowledge of the lay of the land, Tao went a little too far from home. The wilderness called her, and within a few weeks, she had lost the way back entirely. She felt a change in the land while wandering the vast plains and rolling hills - a drought, it felt like. Foliage withered, prey grew scarce, and the little brooks she drank from became muddy and shallow. The sparks she made with her fingertips came less and less easily.

Just a few miles away in the ruins of an old outpost, secluded from civilization, lived a sorcerer who feared death. Despite his elvish longevity, a terrible sickness had taken hold of Aegis, and so he shut himself away to find the secret to immortality using dark and forbidden methods. Each day he grew weaker, and so used the life force of other living things to sustain his spells and experiments with no regard for the waste of life he perpetrated. In the cold undercroft of his outpost he devised a spell - successful in theory, but risky. He'd need a test subject first before applying it to himself. Out here, though, where could he find one in time?

Tao stumbled across the outpost, footsore and fatigued after days without food or rest, desperate for a safe place to bed down. She entered the ruin without her usual wariness and selected a level section of the earth floor to make camp.

"You'll do."

As Tao turned, a cold numbness gripped her limbs, spreading quickly through her body. Her eyes remained fixed, frozen, on the elf before her. He looked crestfallen. "Can you move at all?" he asked her. Tao longed to tell him what she would do to him if she could move, but of course, being completely encased in frost, she could not move, and therefore not speak. Nor could she blink, or look away, or even breath. Rage consumed her, but it did no good, and her life for the next immeasurable span of years became one monotonous day after another, with the sorcerer pacing before her, in and out of her field of vision, studying her and the effect of his spell.

He had accomplished at least part of his goal, it seemed, as his captive did not age or wither over the years. But being unable to move or free oneself made the spell a failure, useless to him. Existing, frozen, for eternity? That was not living. He began anew, though death drew ever nearer, determined to preserve himself even if it meant the end of more lives, and Tao could only watch him with ever-burning hatred.

Then the day came when Aegis left the outpost and never returned, and Tao's endless fury, without a person to focus on, gave way to fog. In the fog, she found, she didn’t notice the time passing so much. And so she slept. Nothing is infinite, however. Without the sorcerer to sustain it, the spell, regardless of how strong the magic, began to degrade. The fog in Tao's mind cleared a little when she felt the change. The process was slow, agonizingly slow, a true test of her mental fortitude as she waited for the right moment. Years further must have passed by the time she felt the icy bonds become brittle. With a roar pulled from the darkest reaches of her tiger soul, Tao moved, and the ice shattered. She collapsed on legs that couldn’t remember how to stand and struggled to draw breath after forgetting how for over three hundred years, years she had no idea had passed.

When she recovered, she wasted no time heading home, but found she could not quite remember the way. What should have been a few days' journey stretched to nearly a month. When she at last found the estate, it was not the home she remembered; it had been converted to apartments and flats for rent, and the people there were little help with their strange, garbled speech. They directed Tao through the woods, and there she found a city that had not existed before.

Thus began her time in Almaria.

First, she studied. Through a great deal of questioning and delves into the library's special collections and archives, she found that more than three hundred years had elapsed since her imprisonment by Aegis, and in that time, the Kallan line had died out with her youngest brother's family. The estate and all its contents had been auctioned off or donated -  much of the art ending up in the archive itself - leaving Tao with nothing.

Except her drive for vengeance.

Burying all the complex feelings that came with finding out one's family has been dead for 300 years, Tao began her hunt. She tried her best to exist peacefully in the modern world, all the while honing her fire magic and gathering whispers. Three hundred years should have barely touched an elf; Aegis had to be out there. The archives bore no record of him, nor did any of the graveyard headstones. She gathered allies, friends and rivals, and walked dangerous roads with them, getting into trouble here and there. At last, a lead, but a false one. The return to the outpost gave her nothing but more secrets and ash. Though the world is altered now, and Arcadia's history different from what Tao remembers, she knows Aegis is still around, somewhere, well hidden. She won't let the paradox in her memory deter her. She will find him, and inflict all the pain on him that he ever did on her.

Abilities: - Tiger Senses: Sense of smell and hearing are stronger than your average human's, and she has night vision. - Firestarter: This covers creation of sparks with a snap, or heating small objects in her hands. - Flame Resist: She is somewhat resistant to her practiced element of choice, but not immune. - Burning Hands: Allows her to light her hands on fire and extinguish them at will, as well as maintain and control the flame's intensity. (unlocked through RP) - Blaze Command: Tao can manipulate the movement fire to a small extent, even blazes she did not create, though they do not listen as well as her own flames. (unlocked through RP) Strengths & Weaknesses: + Fighter: she’s got moves and muscle and can take quite a few hits + Survivor: she knows how to last in the wilderness a loooooong time + Rhythm: despite her lifelong rejection of her family's practice of the arts, Tao has an excellent sense of rhythm and beat and can tap a drum quite well - and dance along to it even better. - Hard-headed: good luck getting her to function on a team or to follow orders she disagrees with. - Loud: when around other people she can get pretty… shouty. Usually not tactful things, either. - Short fuse: not always in an angry way, but she’ll challenge anything with a “fight me,” and not sarcastically. - Ignorant: there's a lot she just doesn't know yet, from slang to locations to magic to technology.

Likes & Dislikes: + fighting or competing (and winning at both) + exploring the outdoors + swimming + free food + dragons - confined spaces/being trapped - bossy/stuffy people- formal events - being touched in a friendly way (wrestle? yes. hug? no.) - Aegis

[EXTRA] - She's flown twice on dragonback, fulfilling a lifelong dream of flying, and longs to go again someday. - Her hair used to be long, worn in a ponytail. She cut it short not long after breaking free. - She has pads on her hands and feet, and fur on her ears, tail, lower legs, and feet. - Enhanced vocal chords allow her to make these kinds of sounds. - Her speech is still pretty old-fashioned, but she's making a conscious effort to adopt modern speaking patterns.

Relationships: - Whole immediate family has passed away. - Akane: Best friend and slam-dunk pool buddy, troublemaker-in-arms, etc etc; current employer. - Aithne: Fire rival; secretly friends but Tao will never admit it. - Yao: Detested enemy for minorly poisoning her when they first met. - Delta: An ally, though kind of a fragile one. - Nisha: Boss with the money. But not anymore! Because she has a new job now. :D - Yelena: Sharp! And fighty, like herself. They get along pretty well, though Tao is not totally sold on the person-shaped-sword thing - it mystifies her. - Takuto: Another fighting ally. Though they met on shaky terms, she'd have his back in a scrap. [RP PREFERENCE] Media: [Discord] |  [Google Docs] Methods: Paragraph | Literature | Script | Headcanon Timezone: MST

[eunahfmdarchive]

idol headcanon / not accepting!

tw: eating disorders under the cut.

send ◙ for an audition headcanon. ( wc: 215 ) eunah auditioned for dimensions entertainment online, with a video of herself singing ‘home’ from the musical version of disney’s beauty and the beast. she sent it in on a dare from a friend, who was a big fan of dimensions soloist one and a casual fan of gal.actic. it wasn’t supposed to be serious, and eunah really didn’t expect anything to come from it, so she didn’t dance for the tape at all, but her being pretty, small, and with a serious set of pipes was enough to pique dimensions’ interests. when they expressed their interest in meeting her in person, eunah was torn, but ultimately decided it couldn’t hurt to try. by that time, she already had quite a bit of experience performing on stage in musicals, and there was a big part of eunah that was already looking for something more than school and community produced amateur theatre. she was due to perform as the lead in her high school’s production of thoroughly modern millie when she received the invitation for the in person audition, and actually used her school’s choreography for the titular song for the dance portion of her audition. the fact that she actually passed, while auditioning in such a discombobulated and theatrical way remains beyond her to this day.

send ○ for a training headcanon. ( wc: 200 ) eunah trained for just under two years before debuting as 7rophy’s lead vocal. she struggled a lot during that time, and she had to spend a lot of time for the first few months there working on her korean, as she didn’t know as much as she thought she did before she moved. she was babied and heavily sheltered back at home by her parents and older sisters ever since she was born, on account of being born a month premature, so adjusting to the much tougher world of being a trainee. her struggles with weight began during this time, when her trainers encouraged her to lose weight and her fellow trainees also started to comment on it - much more maliciously than even the trainers did. eunah was never the strongest dancer, but she had the very basics of musical theatre dance and movement down, so she had to work really hard on her dancing to get it up to scratch, and unfortunately, that fact was something she used to her eating disorder’s advantage, using it to justify her weight loss to her concerned family back in seattle who were starting to ask questions whenever they video called her.

send ♥ for a headcanon about something my muse likes about being an idol. ( wc: 218 ) despite it being one of the first things 7rophy is always criticized for by anti fans and the general public, eunah really appreciates having so much experience in so many different concepts. she’s an actor by heart, and enjoyed shifting into different versions of herself. granted, it’s a bittersweet kind of appreciation, since eunah wishes that their concept changes had been better received by the public, similarly to how fuse’s were. though, she does recognize that fuse were actually marketed by gold star as a concept changing group. whereas 7rophy, on the other hand, just so happened to fall into constant concept flux by ways of dimensions entertainment’s poor management. nonetheless, eunah is glad that they got to try out lots of different styles of music, and at least the constant reinvention managed to save them from disbandment if nothing else, until dimensions allowed lux to have a heavier hand in their songs. and after all of those changes in concept, eunah is also really enthusiastic about the more “self produced” image 7rophy are being marketed with now, what with lux writing the vast majority of their group releases, eunah’s participation here or there, and what she likes most of all, as most people would expect is the control eunah has been given over her own solo music. 

send ♫ for a performance headcanon. ( wc: 210 ) eunah is a very clean and polished performer. there’s always room for change and error when you’re doing any kind of live show, so it’s extra important, in her opinion, to make sure you’re as consistent as you possibly could be before it’s time to present it to the public. she has been praised for her precise way of performing by fans, who understand it’s part of the effort she’s making to execute 7rophy’s choreography as best as she can. even if she isn’t anywhere close to being the best dancer in the group, she always makes sure that she’s doing her best to try to match them. as a lead vocal, singing is where she really shines. eunah grew up doing musicals, and that particular flare for the dramatic is something she’s never lost. she doesn’t get to do it very often as a member of 7rophy, but she loves performing ballads and emotional solos. eunah is very expressive while she sings, and can easily fall into the character of a song, and usually she’s performing from that point of view, rather than from her own. even when performing her self written music, there’s a certain level of detachment there that allows her to give a fully developed performance.

send ☀ for a variety headcanon. ( wc: 204 ) eunah is pretty poor on a lot of variety shows. at a lot of hosted shows, she finds it difficult to just relax and get on with what they’re there to do or to play along with any stupid jokes. her personality really does err more on the serious side, and she does end up get teased for that a lot on shows too. she’s known for being kind of difficult to get good responses out of, which means that a lot of her good variety show moments during her career have actually been very, very much scripted. she usually does any english speaking segments in shows, too. overall, she just comes across a little bit awkwardly. eunah ends up faring a lot better on 7rophy’s own reality shows - not that they’ve had more than one or two of them over the course of the last five years - such as to. pepe, that they filmed and produced themselves last year in partnership with kaja beauty while in san francisco. things of that ilk, short segments that are more casual, and hosting are things she’s fine with, but she wouldn’t be able to survive on a show like we got married or roommate.

send ♞ for a non-performance talent headcanon. ( wc: 203 ) eunah’s main talent off stage and off screen that’s actually beneficial to her music career is writing lyrics. it’s definitely a more recent development, and isn’t ever something that she thought dimensions would ever let her follow up with. she only got the bravery to after seeing the success that lux’s lyrics and music brought 7rophy. it isn’t a skill that she’s intentionally been honing for a particularly long time, but she has kept a diary for almost her entire life, ever since she can remember, so she has become really quite adept at expressing herself through the written word. a lot of the lyrics in her first mini album, mezzanine, are directly lifted from either her diary or from her recurring late night thoughts. it’s therapeutic and cathartic for her to do something productive with what are mostly negative and self disparaging thoughts, so it’s a talent that she plans to continue honing. where eunah fails to communicate well aloud, she makes up for it in her diary, in her poetry and in her song lyrics. she’s proud of herself for learning to express herself one way or another, especially since it’s apparently a profitable method for her and her company too. 

send ‼ for a career goal headcanon. ( wc: 205 ) eunah would really, really like to act more. her number one priority is getting back on the boards in a theatrical sense, whether that be in a play or in a musical. her number two priority would be to make a television acting debut. that being said, after seeing the success of a-teen, she definitely wouldn’t turn down another role in a web drama either. the bottom line is that she wants to act, and she wants to be taken at least relatively seriously as an actor too. she knows that that isn’t exactly easy for an idol actor to do, but she genuinely loves the craft, so eunah is willing to keep on trying to prove herself. other than acting, eunah is currently preparing for eunah mini album number two quietly in the background of all of her other activities, so she just wants to make sure that the songs on the album are the best that they can be, and that she shows another new side to herself, or at least a shift in herself in the songs. she’s also interested in potentially writing more for 7rophy, whether that be a throwaway lyric here or there or in collaboration with lux or not.

send ♡ for a social media headcanon. ( wc: 208 ) eunah is surprisingly active on social media for someone who’s as reserved as she seemingly is. she only really actively uses instagram, and doesn’t have a twitter, private or otherwise. she posts fairly regularly, at least three or four times a week, and they’re usually selfies or otherwise pictures of herself, sometimes alone, sometimes with crys, her and lux’s cat, sometimes with other 7rophy members. occasionally she also posts part of her creative process - nothing that could be considered a spoiler, just a picture of herself at work and a few sentences about how she’s feeling about whatever she’s working on. eunah finds it easier to be sincere and talkative with fans when she can think things through and write them out. therefore, her use of instagram has been extremely beneficial in clearing up any qualms over eunah being cold or ungrateful to her fans and to the opportunities she’s been given. she kind of also uses it as a public visual companion of sorts to her private written journal. she doesn’t have the patience for scrapbooking or instant photographs or anything like that, but she does enjoy the idea of it, so she uses her instagram has an outlet for that side of her artistic interests.

send ∞ for a future (post-idol life) headcanon. ( wc: 224 ) after idol life ends for eunah, i imagine that she would continue to be active in the entertainment industry as an actor, a soloist and a songwriter. her acting career would be her primary focus, and she would like to finally establish herself as a “serious” actor, and would likely work mostly in theatre, though not exclusively. eunah would really, really have an interest in making a broadway debut one day, potentially moving between seoul and new york regularly. it’s been her dream ever since she was a little girl to be on a broadway stage, and with the experience she’s wracking up under her belt and her american citizenship, she’s pretty sure that she can make it happen. her solo music would come second to acting. i don’t think that she’d necessarily be doing the music show circuit anymore, but that she’d mostly release digital singles and albums, promoting them minimally but ... enough to see success. the goal would be that by this time, her name would precede her to an extent, so that she could really do her music stuff on her own terms. she would love to still be at least collaborating with the other members of 7rophy, and she would rather die than be separated from milk, but she doesn’t expect the group to last forever by any means.

send ✈ for an airport fashion headcanon. ( wc: 202 ) eunah’s taste in fashion is actually rather colourful. she likes most colours, but pink and orange shades are her favourites. she’s also a big fan of clothes that can hide her body relatively well while not being too baggy. she saves the extra baggy stuff for when she’s at home. in airports though, fans are likely to see eunah wearing comfortable, tailored cotton dresses, usually still worn slightly loose fitting on purpose, oftentimes paired with an oversized corduroy or denim jacket. other times she wears cuddly cardigans, usually in white, cream and beige shades, usually paired with high waisted pants. her preferred styles of pants are slightly ill fitting, straight leg jeans and loose, wide legged cotton pants. eunah’s airport outfits, and her outfits in general, are usually affordable. she has one or two expensive statement pieces, but she uses them to death. one example would be her marc jacobs crossbody bag. she’s had it for over three years, and it’s definitely not the height of fashion anymore, but it does the job, and has consistently shown up as part of every airport outfit eunah’s been seen in since she first bought it. eunah also often wears her glasses to the airport.

send ☛  for a public image headcanon. ( wc: 220 ) at the moment, eunah’s public image is mostly favourable, though some people do see her as being too cold and too quiet for her own good. since embarking on her solo career over the last year, the number of people with that impression of her have dropped significantly. the idea that dimensions currently have for her is a shy, girl next door from the us, who can really turn it out on stage, someone who genuinely loves and cares about her craft and art. it’s easy enough for eunah to play into, since it’s not that far from the truth, even if she would never admit to naturally falling a little bit into the typical girl next door role. during the early days of 7rophy’s career, when they were almost nonexistent in the eyes of the public, eunah was really only known for her extremely low weight. she wasn’t even known much by name, she was just a photo and a number on a list of “skinny idols”. this, combined with the weight loss narrative that was spun around her after predebut photos and videos were uploaded to the internet, was very harmful to eunah’s body image and emotional well being, and is something she still struggles with having as part of her history as an idol to this day.

send ❂ for a voice-related (singing or rapping) headcanon. ( wc: 210 ) eunah is a comfortable mezzo soprano, and she has very good control over her head, chest and mixed voice. aside from her vocal training under dimensions, eunah was also coached in singing for musical theatre as a child. she takes care of her vocal chords as well as she can. she keeps drinking to a minimum, keeps dairy to a minimum and always warms up very, very thoroughly. she likes how her voice sounds the most when she sings in her upper range. eunah is also very comfortable experimenting with her voice, trying out pop sounds, jazz sounds and theatrical ballad sounds depending on the mood that she’s in. she never, ever likes to sacrifice technique though. keeping her voice safe is paramount to her. she’s been lucky that the lines she’s been assigned over the years in 7rophy’s songs have suited her voice well, and that she hasn’t had to strain and damage her vocal chords. when she was still just a kid, she heard about the dreaded legally blonde high notes that had to be lowered because of the damage that they supposedly did to the original elle woods’ voice, and it’s the main reason that she’s so careful with her voice. that story made her extremely paranoid.