#actually can someone fanfic write this
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I will say the thing that annoyed me the most about people who complain about Sam/Evan shippers is that they make it sound like the ao3 and the Tumblr tags are wall to ceiling Sam/Evan content and little else, but then I looked up the ship on ao3 and there were all of 25 fics, some of which are fully poly program fanfic.
Don't get my hopes up about fandom actually producing content around and focused on Black characters...please.
#Like I'm sorry but maybe y'all just don't have a lot of experience in fandom and that's fine#But as someone who actually writes and looks for fanfic and meta focused on Black characters I will take all the help I can get out here#I'm cool with the Sam/Evan shippers because often they're the ones who are out here in the streets with me talking about how cool Sam is!#Samevan#Sam/Evan#Sam x Evan#Sam Black
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Haven't drawn the boys in a hot minute-
#okok#so#the ruin dlc amiright#but like#I JUST HAVE MORE QUESTIONS NOW#Is Eclipse just stuck in the daycare again#or does he actually have enough of a clear mind to realize no more kids will come#and he maybe tries to leave somehow#we did see he isn't hostile#like monty for example#I'm just rambling#BUT LIKE#COME ON MAN#I WANNA SEE MORE OF EM IS THAT SUCH A CRIME#someone needs to write a fanfic about this I swear-#...hmmmm maybe I can do that myself#hueueue#anyways if u're still reading#hi#have a loaf of bread#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#fnaf ruin spoilers#fnaf sun man#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf eclipse#art#my art
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nightmare's gang but they're one of those youtube family channels that extorts the kids. HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT
i mean cmon man managing his multiversal takeover scheme must take a lot of money. nightmare needs a source of income. so what better than to torture and extort his gang even more. he makes them behave and act entertaining for the camera because if not they get beat and punished. he has cameras everywhere in the castle for content and to monitor everyone. people online are worried about the "kids" on the channel because they are CLEARLY being abused and exploited. nightmare gets a feast of negativity from these peoples' worries. now do i think that he would be cruel enough to force his gang to act like children for this channel?? i dunno,,,,,,,, perchance (YOU CAN'T JUST SAY PERCHANCE)
idk there's definitely a lot more than could be done with this stupid idea. but i just think,,,,,, i just think it would be funny,,,,, think about it,,,,,,,,,,
#IM CRACKING UP AT THIS THIS IDEA IS SO FUNNY TO ME#people comment wear a green shirt in the next video if youre in danger#dust wears a green shirt#blink 7 times in the next video if you need help#horror blinks 7 times#yet theres nothing anyone can do to save them😭😭😭#nightmare would learn how to use the internet and how to advertise n all that complex stuff#JUST FOR THIS. just so he can extort his gang and make others feel bad#somewhere out there there's a 5 year old that actually enjoys nightmare's content#what would the channel be called????#definetely something to fuck over dream. or something that's vaguely threatening#i dunno i cant think of ideas for this but its just SO FUNNY to me......#someone should make a crack taken seriously fanfic of this idea#I SHOULD DO IT. jk i dont wanna write....... but its a funny idea#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#maybe i'll even include cross in this. what the hell#cross sans#i mean it would be funnier with cross there. so i GUESS ill let him sneak on in#i take cross out of his happy life in the stars and drop him back in the hell that is nm's gng#tricule rant
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when everyone is fighting shigaraki, denki explains that katsuki always pays attention to his surroundings.
can it partially be influenced by the fact, that, while struggling against the sludge villain, katsuki blew up and threw on fire everything around him and it was the reason why presenting heroes didn't save him? yk katsuki is the boy who cried, because he "ended all might", so could blamed himself for the attack that time too
#rewatched two first series cause i got into mentallypapaya's fanfics#and well i needed a reminder what actually aldera junior high was#and then this popped in my had#and i'm like: “damn i need to write it for tumblr”#so here we are#please somebody say something#i need to know if it makes sense or i just delusional#bakugou#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#btw can someone recommend me something similar to ff about aldera from mentallypapaya?#aldera lore hit strong
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How do I write a character that's an expert in astrophysical instrumentation?
Oh.
I guess I have to become an expert in astrophysical instrumentation.
Update: a mutual reached out and was like "here let me explain cosmic microwave background to you" and guys, we have the best fandom. Just, the best. I am crying.
#fanfiction writer#fanfic writing problems#fanfic writing woes#fanfic writing#fanfic writer#ao3 writer#ao3 author#fanfiction#fanfic#but at least I found someone who actually is an expert and can read all 22 of their papers on Google Scholar in chronological order#this may not have been the best plotpoint decision I ever made#it is certainly not the least labor intensive
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If I was a better author, I would write all the fic ideas that came into my mind, and then make a Fame AU, where all my previous fics are movies the Marauders and co acted in
#someone that can actually write a fic fully should do this#i would eat it up#regulus black#james potter#sirius black#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#pandora rosier#mary macdonald#marlene mckinnon#lily evans#dorcas meadowes#marauders#marauders fic idea#marauders fic#marauders fanfic#fanfic#fanfic writing#writer problems#marauder fame au
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the amount of times i almost accidentally tagged something as 'damen of vere' instead of 'damen of akielos' is truly astonishing
(there is a fanfic in this, i feel it...
"the first time it happened, it was truly accidental. a nervous courier stumbling over his own words while delivering the message.
'To King Damianos of Vere', he recited, stopped, flushed and continued with a wavering voice.
'To King Damianos of Akielos and Prince Laurent of Vere'.
It was all so new yet, it happened.
The second time it was decidedly not an accident. It probably wasn't the second time either, only the second time, Damen heard.
The Kyroi were speaking in hushed voices, arguing. Not all of them were equally convinced of the alliance.
"The King", one said.
"Damianos of Vere", another one interrupted. He spit the false name out like it was an insult.
Damen didn’t feel like it was.
There was the sound of an open hand hitting a face, hard.
"The King of Akielos", the first voice said.
Damen memorized who had argued for him and who needed some convincing, then turned and departed without his presence ever been noticed.
The third time it was spoken as a joke.
The men of the Kings guard - the Veretian Kings guard, although it weren't all Veretians anymore - were cramped into one corner of the great hall of Makedons humble home.
At the other side there were Laurent and Makedon engrossed in conversation and drink.
Damen had stealthily exchanged a couple of Laurents goblets with water but there still was a heavy blush on his cheeks.
The wine was good and heady and Damen would probably still have to carry Laurent to their bed later that night.
'It's alright, I can handle it', Laurent had said, privately, to him earlier. And then more quietly, 'I trust you.'
It had made Damen want to punch something, someone.
Now Lazar invited him to sit with them. Pallas, next to him flushed even more. It was edging on improper to invite a king like this.
But Damen had fought with these men, listened to their gossip over a campfire and cheap wine.
Their conversation was bawdy and Damen listened with a smile playing around his lips. There was an easy companionship with these men, that he couldn't find with anyone else.
'They call you Damianos of Vere', Lazar proclaimed, "behind your back." It was with a curiosity in his eyes, daring.
Pallas flushed even more, looking scandalized, his tanned skin not enough to hide any of it.
Jord threw Lazar a heavy look.
Damen had heard these and other men often enough refer to Laurent as a stone-cold son of a bitch. He had thought they could come up with better.
The fourth time it again was an accident. The villagers had never seen royalty before and were openly staring at them, high on their horses.
A Child, not even reaching to their mothers hip yet, peaked up at them and asked, 'Are you the King of Vere?'
Their mother flushed, opened her mouth to apologise, or correct it.
Damen smiled openly at the child. 'No, that is Laurent, the King of Vere. I'm Damianos of Akielos. But we rule this country together. Is there anything we can do for you?'
The fifth time it was a messenger again, rushed and without noticing his mistake.
Damen looked at Laurent when he said 'King Damianos of Vere'. There was a smile in his eyes that he carefully kept from his mouth.
---
They lay sated in bed, the sheets tangled around their limbs and the sweat cooling on their skin.
In a moment Laurent would get up to get something to clean up. In a moment Damen would let him.
Right now he was holding onto him a little longer.
'I like it, when they call me that', he said. 'Makes me feel like I belong to you.'
'Don't you?', Laurent asked, his fingers slipping to the gold cuff around Damens wrist.
'Yes. But i like the way it sounds.'
Laurent made a content sound when Damen pulled him a little closer, a little up, so he could bury his face in his neck.
He kissed him there, then moved up to his ear, where he bit carefully.
Laurent breathed out a laugh.
When he finally lifted his head to gaze at him, Damens eyes were sparkling.
'There is a nice ring to it', he said, eyes crinkled. 'maybe I'll put it on my official signature. Damianos of Vere, King of Akielos and Vere, Husband of Laurent, King of Vere and Akielos."
#5 times someone calls him Damianos of Vere and one time he calls himself that#damen of vere#finally i can actually tag it like this#damen of akielos#laurent of vere#damen x laurent#captive prince#lamen#captive prince fanfic#tschuli writes
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ADHD information for fanfic writers:
Diagnostic Process:
the diagnostic process is different in every country, but this is a basic overview
- an ADHD referral can come from any type of doctor, unlike referrals for other neurodivergences
- the wait list depends on where you live and how old you are. typically the younger you are, the shorter the wait
- ADHD has to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or by a doctor who has taken a specialized course to be certified in diagnosing and handling ADHD
- most doctors will make you fill out a questionnaire about your mental health. these questionnaires involves sections about family history, personal history, and statements that you have to agree or disagree with
- a good psychiatrist won’t diagnose you with ADHD during your first visit. they will instead spend the first few visits getting to know you and the state of your mental health
- most people are assessed for depression when being assessed for ADHD. this is because depression can present itself in similar ways. if diagnosed with depression and open to medication, the psychiatrist will first prescribe antidepressants and see how those affect you before moving on with the ADHD assessment
Meds:
- most ADHD meds are taken in the morning since they normally wear off after 8-12 hours
- when meds wear off we go through what’s known as a “crash” or “medication rebound”
- ADHD crashes are pure hell which is why some people with ADHD choose to only take meds during the week or they do nothing on the weekend as a reset of sorts
- basically, when our meds wear off all of our symptoms come back at the same time and we get overstimulated to the point of exhaustion
- some people have smaller doses of their meds that they take at the beginning of the crash. this means they can prolong the crash by a couple hours
- for some people, the first time taking meds is hell. the change is very noticeable and abrupt. i wouldn’t stop talking because it was “too quiet” (it being my mind)
- your dosage is not based on body type or weight and just because you take a high dose in one drug doesn’t mean you take a high dose in all others (my ADHD meds are 10mg higher than the highest prescribed amount but my antipsychotics are .5mg lower than the lowest prescribed dose)
- vyvanse is most often prescribed to people with combo ADHD, ritalin to those with hyperactive ADHD (especially those with impulsivity issues), and adderall for inattentive (no, this is not something that is typically disclosed or well-known but if you’ve talked to enough people w/ ADHD you begin to see a pattern) other ADHD meds are available but less likely to be prescribed
- other meds are also taken into account when getting a prescription for ADHD. vyvanse is the most versatile and is usually the one prescribed if you’re on other medications
- ADHD meds are stimulants which means doctors will never give you refills (if they do, they could lose their license)
- since they’re stimulants, for the first year you have to go to the psychiatrist’s bi-weekly for the first few months, then monthly after that so they can see how you are doing
- ADHD meds are known for lowering sex drives and increasing hunger (sometimes the opposite may happen, as with most drugs, but these are most common)
- it takes about 1/2 hour to an hour for meds to kick in and many of us are able to tell the exact moment they start working
Other Substances:
- the neurons and chemicals in the body of an ADHD person are fucked. this means that many substances and medications have either no effect on us, or the opposite effect of what they are intended for
speaking from personal experience:
- caffeine makes me tired
- melatonin and other sleeping aids like dextromethorphan, which can be found in many cough syrups, make me hyper
- weed makes me feel lighter, but it never affects me more than that. i never get a “proper high” like other people (ie; i find no more joy or fascination in bright colours or moving objects than i usually do)
- while “sugar highs” in general are a myth, they’re real for people with ADHD! they stimulate our dopamine and opioid receptors which gives us a burst of energy
- additionally, people with ADHD are more likely to be addicted to illegal stimulants like cocaine because it calms them down (yup, you read that right. when someone with ADHD does cocaine their mind quiets and they mellow down instead of the usual hyper-active high that neurotypicals get)
Additional Information:
- we’re lacking some of the neurotransmitters in our brains so it takes us longer to process information, and we have “more” thoughts than neurotypicals since our additional thoughts aren’t processed out
- we get what’s called “executive dysfunction” or “ADHD paralysis” where we are physically unable to do things despite no real physical limitations (for non-ADHD folks: try putting your hand in fire. you’ll notice that you are either physically unable to or that your body somewhat restrains you from doing it. this is what executive dysfunction is like. for ADHD folks: do not try this since we’re also less likely to have self-preservation instincts)
- basically, i can sit for hours thinking about doing the dishes, screaming at myself in my head to just do them, but i’m still unable to
- we leave trails! we have so many thoughts going through our head that we forget them all the time, so when we get a thought like “i think the printer is low on paper, i should check” we abandon all tasks in favour of the new thought. however, the remains of those tasks stay where we left them, and thus, an ADHD trail is made
- we have both the worst and best memory of anyone you will ever meet. i might be able to tell you the exact outfit you wore on a specific day five years ago but i won’t remember what i ate for breakfast
- when we get bored, we get depressed. like, life is meaningless and i want to curl up in a ball and die depressed. sometimes we need someone to physically force us out of bed to get us out of our funk (and sometimes all it takes to get out of the funk is doing something fun which makes us feel ridiculous when we think about how depressed we were prior)
- since boredom is detrimental to us, we have to constantly be having fun which, in and of itself, is not fun. this is also why a lot of us end up doing shift work or working dangerous jobs
- we’re adrenaline junkies. this isn’t even a “most of us” situation, it’s all of us. the only difference is how we get that adrenaline. (some get it by jumping out of a plane, others get it by working on assignments in a time crunch)
- we’re social beings. even if we’re introverts, we thrive on social interactions. without them our dopamine plummets and we, once again, get depressed
- all silences are awkward to us. it doesn’t matter if you’re the person we’re most comfortable with in the world, silence is always awkward. or, more specifically, we feel like we need to fill it which is why we often ramble
obviously there’s far more to ADHD than just this and everything can change person by person but i hope this helps to gain a bit more of a general understanding on ADHD
#obviously this can used by writers in general but i specifically made this with buck in mind#hence fanfic writers#writing#adhd#911 abc#evan buckley#buck#fanfiction#ao3#writeblr#long post#oh boy is it#911 fox#tv: 911#i feel like a lot of people don’t actually know much about adhd#even those who have done research before writing (we love you for this! but it doesn’t actually give any good knowledge)#since most of the articles and websites are made by neurotypicals#you can always tell when a fic was written by someone who doesn’t have adhd vs someone who does#and it’s not the non-adhd-er’s fault! not at all!#it’s just an impact that society has mixed with loads of misinformation and ignorance regarding adhd
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Recommend us some good jjk things u already read 🎀
say please 😐
unfortunately, i don’t read jjk fics… like, at all. i have two main reasons why:
i write them, sure, but i have this intense fear of reading jjk/reader fics (hypocritical, i know, but idc 🌝) simply ‘cause of the fact that i have these characters a certain way in my mind: VERY CANONICALLY-CENTRED.
when reading, i’d enjoy that with only a TOUCH of fanon, seeing as it’s usually romantic, reader-insert, love interest fics, and we’ve only ever actually seen two couples in jjk, and not even in depth — miwa and mechamaru + toji and mamaguro — therefore we can’t exactly say for certain what other characters would be like in a relationship and stuff: what we picture and write here is fanon.
but i did try a couple times. it just wasn’t for me, ig.
secondly, literally every gojo/reader story ever (i say gojo specifically cuz i’m only interested in reading about him and no one else 😭) has smut in it.
unpopular take, but i dislike smut. very much.
so essentially, i’m useless in this department.
p.s. that’s not to say that you yourself can’t read other fics and enjoy them the way they are. that’s great for you, and lovely for the author, but my personal opinion is that i just can’t, and that’s alr. i’ll silently move on and write my own :)
#half turned into a rant but oh well 😋#if you asked me for actual book recs and not fanfiction#ooh the stuff i’d give to youuuu#but with fanfics — yeah i’m useless#someone’s probably gonna see this and throw a fit#‘you’re a hypocrite cuz you write jjk stories and-’#i don’t EXPECT anyone to read them#i write cuz it’s fun#it’s a hobby#i also just like writing FOR you guys#it’s not like i’m giving shit to anyone for what they choose to write#i’m a firm believer of minding my own business 😋#and i really did underestimate how much i dislike smut here#like i genuinely hate it#idm if it’s implied that characters sleep tgth#imo i think it’s fine#i prefer that actually#but when it’s just smut and smut and smut and smut#no plot#😀#yeah anyway#apologies i can’t be of any help 😭#but maybe anyone else who sees this can drop some recs for lovely missunrise in the comments?#genuinely apologising for being useless in this department 😔#(even if i wasn’t#if you aren’t a gojo-centric person#i probably wouldn’t have any other recs EXCEPT for gojo/reader ones LMAOOO)#love that man sm
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What are your favorite Chase moments from the show so far?
Just like with Zuma's post, it's in no specific order, I just really loved all these moments
That first Mission PAW episode when the Princess chose specifically HIM to be the watch dog and guard her crown. That was so adorable I can't even. He seemed so genuinely proud and happy there! Plus he's so damn cute wearing that tux lol
When they were going to rescue Skye and Chase was so worried upon hearing that she was the one in need of rescue. Then when Ryder was choosing which pups would be part of the rescue, that moment he was like "Pick meee pick meeee-"?? That was so cute, he really cares about her and wanted to impress her so bad lmao personally make sure she would be safe (Bonus points for his excitement over being picked for the rescue and everyone else like Go ahead king, we all know you wanted this XD)
The entire time he spent with the owlet and working to rescue the mama owl from that fallen tree. It was so sweet!! The fact I also love owls surely didn't help AUSHAUSHAUSHAU I love that episode SO MUCH
That moment when he finally turned into a Merpup. Poor boy was so fixated on "being on duty" despite wanting SO BAD to go and participate in "the fun". And he couldn't even enjoy being a merpup immediately because he was transformed just because he needed to swim faster for the rescue but he was so overjoyed anyway! Only after that mess, he could go and finally have the fun he wanted and deserved so much.
That moment in the first Sea Patrol episode when he and Skye were left behind at the beach while the rest of the team went on the first mission with the Sea Patroller. His face upon SEEING the HQ turn into a ship and sail away was just priceless XD (Also it's rare to see Chase being put on the sidelines for once lmao)
The first Ultimate Rescue episode!! God, Chase was SO HAPPY. He's THE Police Pup, he gets to lead the mission, supervise, plan, give orders. And the way all the other pups clearly loved the experience and were SO ON BOARD with being Police Pups with him, it was just awesome!
So far these are my favorite moments! Actually I legit just got to watch this first Ultimate Rescue episode like one hour ago. Not to mention it took me five days to think of these moments and then go find the episodes again to take the respective screenshots XD
#Scheduled post#I'm leaving it ready as of 6 AM yeah guess who barely slept this night again hahaha :')#Would you guys believe it if I said it's a bit difficult to pick favorite Chase moments??#I feel the show lacks a bit of creativity on what to do with him#It only became more diverse on situations after they started having different special kinds of missions like Mission PAW and Sea Patrol#Otherwise it's always the same thing over and over again#“Use your net to catch something/someone falling!”#“Use your megaphone to keep people away from the danger!”#“Use your cones to redirect the traffic away from the streets we'll be working on!”#I swear he needs more actual action#He also needs more moments with the other pups like playing around or whatever#Or to have a hobby maybe#Zuma clearly has a lot of hobbies XD#Chase is a GREAT Pup but they're doing him wrong with all that#He can be so much more!#It makes me want to WRITE#HI I'M LARYSSA AND I'M FALLING FOR THE “LET'S WRITE SOME FANFIC” TRAP ALL OVER AGAIN#Anyway XDD#Thanks for the ask!!#Paw Patrol#Paw Patrol Chase#Chase
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Guess who finally finished his Curtwen fic..
Anyone wanna Beta read it?
#I kind of hate it but I’m happy I did it#it’s a rewrite of a fic I wrote when I was 11 but I added way more info and I’m obviously better at writing#so it’s a combination of ideas/hcs I had at 11 and now#it doesn’t fit my actual vision#anyways#you can also tell when I lost steam lol#but it’s done#please someone beta read for me#spies are forever#curtwen#spies are forever fanfic#agent curt mega#owen carvour
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*twirls hair* tell us about daylight owl
it's an old minecraft rp series that starts off as like, your classic 'i found herobrine!!! (REAL)' type thing, but then shifts to be fully in-game with little to no reference to it Being a game. theres npcs with dialogue, and i mean like fully npcs, theres no other players involved as far as I know
The main focus of the story is these two dipshits brothers accidentally unearth a demon and it immediately causes mass chaos. It's pretty high-fantasy lorewise, with elves and dwarves and such. Prophecies. Ghosts. yknow
actually getting into why im still kind of insane abt it would require spoiling. basically everything lmao. but a large part of it is there's some secondary characters I find really compelling, and the relation the brothers have to the world itself is surprisingly complicated. it DOES feature some very heavy 'good vs evil, black & white' type themes, but taking that apart is something I find fun to do, and it fits pretty naturally into the story itself (although I suspect that was on accident)
Fair warning though, the finale is. Bad. It's so bad that it made me rewrite the entire ending. Like, its kind of insulting how bad it tanks itself at the very last second. I admire the dedication to finishing it even after literal years of delay, but it also means I can't recommend the series in good faith without adding a disclaimer like this, so
#tdo#letters#and a fun fact! its called 'the daylight owl' because thats the name of the demon- and daytime owls are considered bad omens#i thought that was a cool origin for a name#i cant even mention one of my favorites by name bc their existence AS a character is a spoiler!!#maybe one day ill actually write that fanfic. probably not but i still have the notes#theres also a tdo discord but its dead and it has the creators there silently judging us and im like 500 levels removed from their vision#so it ends up being very uncomfortable even without trying to talk about my conspiracy theories#bc theyve largely moved on from the entire thing and dont seem to have much passion for it at all#so. maybe dont go there if you want to actually talk about it lmao#they unlisted all the videos and everything.. they dont love their work anymore. so i have to do it for them#someone else made a playlist thankfully so theyre not completely gone. i can link it if you cant find it#thank u for your service jimmy o7
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Help Wanted:
Lost a fic!! It was a Supernatural crossover (I can't remember with what, just that it was one fandom and not multiple), minimalist, under 10.000 words (most likely less than 5.000). Name was a Lord Huron quote, I did comment on the fic but I cannot find it. Probably Gen or T, maybe Not Rated.
Plot: (SPOILERS) Dean and 1?? (other fandom character) are fishing peacefully (I think, at least they're by a river) waiting for Sam and 2?? (other fandom character's respective sibling equivalent) to show up. The two bond. Story pans out and Sam and 2?? are on the other side of the river. Dean and 1?? are dead, and Sam and 2?? talk about how they'll get along. (Something to that effect.)
Was sad. Was good. I cannot find it. It has been stuck in my head for the last few hours, even though I haven't read it in months. If you find any fic with SPN and one other fandom where I am FULL CAPS SCREAMING LORD HURON LYRICS than that is probably the fic. I have been searching for at least an hour. I don't know if it was taken off the site (Ao3). (I would be sad if this were the case, but I would appreciate at least knowing)
#I don't think it was one of the main fandoms either#but I really could be wrong#I feel like Dean was teaching the guy how to fish???#I dunno. I dunno.#my and the boys at 2 AM looking for fanfic#but yeah if anyone knows what I'm talking about pls let me know. Like literally all I need to know is what the other fandom was exactly.#I can slot the characters in my head I just actually cannot picture them.#pls halp#I should go write Rewind now.#or play Stardew.#what if we compromise and I stare at Rewind chapter 7 trying to Plot and someone magically knows exactly what fic I'm talking about#and we all win.#*sobs in the distance*#supernatural#lord huron#just yelling into the void#fanfic#ao3
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Babygirl I have 38 thousand words of incomplete trigun fic spread across 8 wips and have no idea how to even start dealing with it
#this is an actual request for help#there are two im happy just to ditch entirely#3 that are p much written in complete sentences but are just AU fragments and i don't think i have the energy to turn into a proper story#ive got 12k complete and edited words for another but then i just cant work out how to get to the story's end#and then the last two are half-written half-drafted and just keep getting longer and longer and i HATE properly write up my drafted notes#just... what do i do#can I put the first three up for fanfic adoption and see if someone else knows what to make of them#if anyone wants to proof read /advise on a modern au where WW realises hes gay breaks up w Milly and falls hard for Vash who then disappears#or a post-trimax fic where knives uses the last of his energy to resurrect WW & WW relearns who he is with melanie livio and the orphan kids#(with vash angst thinking hes hallucinating WW)#or a polygun/vashwood fic where WW tries to hide his injuries & the others realise hes got strange healing bc he nearly dies before the#vial kicks in and WW+Vash then talk about EoM/Knives and it ends in a polygun snuggle pile bc they talk it thru as a crew TM#please let me know#trigun#vashwood#trigun fanfiction
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the thing thats nice about crab day, and the reason i think it has a shot of actually working, is that it's very very simple. tumblr traditionally has a very hard time crowdfunding or organizing because the way the reblog system works, aka the thing we are trying to protect here, means that posts travel in a very meandering and unpredictable path, and branch off into completely different posts with completely different additions, so people aren't even all looking at the same thing.
but this doesn't need an info post. its crab day. the day for buy crabs. that's all you need really, any memes or jokes or new posts about it will do just as good a job of getting the word out as a proper Info Post. if people are really confused, they can just go into the tag and Figure It Out very easily. no instructions needed.
#crab day#i just think its neat how people are actually working with the system we like so much here#instead of working against it#and as i said before#the nature of the thing means it doesnt need to be identical across the whole site#i dont care if some people change their pfp and some dont.#or if some give crabs anonymously to their crush and someone else writes a fanfic about crabs#its flexible#the statement is just 'how many people can we get involved' not 'do this one specific thing'
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this is let grief do its work, a fic (currently unedited rip) I started as a kind of sister fic to hand on my stupid heart, another fic I'd written earlier and uh. yeah. you guessed it. haven't finished. I'm working on this on the side, Flying Over the Pit of Death + its sister fic & my original novels being my main focuses right now. I will most likely continue lgdiw sometime in the future, it just isn't my main priority. Like all of my fics, this idea is free for anyone to take & run with. if/when I finish this fic, the edited version will go on ao3. For context: this is just a prologue of sorts, depicting vaguely what is happening on the human side of the Portal the month after the Accident. On Danny's side, he's been chillin' in the Ghost Zone, where he ended up after half-dying, believing he's fully dead (he's not) & only realized he's still alive after it was too late for him to tell everyone what happened cuz like, awkward & embarrassing lol. HOMSH takes place a year later, when things come to a head. I feel it's important to reiterate that, although Danny isn't actually dead, the characters think he is & act accordingly. okay author's infodump note complete, fic under a readmore
“when they first go, let yourself think every selfish, no-good, dirty, angry, filthy, horrible thought. let the waves of anger wash through you. let grief do its work.” ーCaitlyn Siehl; Grief Counseling
On the first day, Sam had thought that, maybe, Danny was just busyーtoo busy to answer their texts, and their calls, and everything else. But then Tucker called her. It was a horrible game of telephone at first. Danny’s parents told Jazz, who told Tucker, who told Sam, and that’s how the communication went for two days until she and Tuck had enough.
They went to FentonWorks, the big, ugly building on the corner of Mockingbird and Cedar, and were surprised to find no one home at all. Not even Jazz. And, for the first time since they’d known the Fentons, the doors were locked. And when they tried to talk to Jazz later, they would find that they’ve officially filed a police report.
ー
Danny Fenton is missing. The last time Sam talked to him she was making fun of him, for being too scared to go check out the Fentons’ new Ghost Portal. She knew he was freaked out by stuff like thatーby ghosts. Now she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see him again.
There’s just no way. He can’t be gone. She literally saw him on Saturday. His empty seat in homeroom on the first day of school is the thing that does it. There’s this gap in the desks where he should be, but he’s not. Like he’s already haunting her.
It makes her sick. Everythingーeverything in her head, everything she knows. Despite what Dash and his asshole friends say, Danny wouldn’t run away. And the longer a person is missing, the more likely it is that they’reー
Sam doesn’t wait for the bell. She leaves Tucker in homeroom, goes straight to the bathroom, and wipes her face down in the sink, water turning black. Suddenly, everything macabre, everything dark and creepyーit just disgusts her.
She goes home early. No one even says anything, not the school, not her parents, not Tucker. Alone in her room, Sam starts to shake. She sobs once, something seething just under her skin. She stalks over to the wall where most of her horror movie posters are taped and starts tearing them down, one by one.
ー
Danny Fenton has been missing for a week, and Tucker, staring at the sweater his best friend forgot at his house, laid across his computer chair, thinks he’s starting to feel it.
Opening his phone, he feels it again. Looking at his texts, he feels it again, and again, and again.
Saturday • 4:47 p.m. Danny Phantom: xD Danny Phantom: not playing tonight, ghost portal opening night 👻 Danny Phantom: can play tmrw tho Too Fine: hell ya txt u then Danny Phantom: 👍 Sunday • 10:20 a.m. Too Fine: yo still up 4 doomed Too Fine: dued Too Fine: dude* Too Fine: you there Sunday • 10:21 a.m. Too Fine: txt me when you wanna play Sunday • 11:58 a.m. Too Fine: you up?
Tucker lets his phone fall on his bed. He doesn’t bother checking in with Sam. She’s been out of school and ignoring him for the last three days. It’s almost been a week sinceー
He gets up and stumbles to his chair. He sits down, careful not to mess up Danny’s NASA hoodie. Tucker turns on his desktop, types in his password, checks his emails. He messes around for as long as he can before he literally cannot take it anymore. He just can’t ignore it.
God. His best friend is gone. Is he coming back? Is heー
It’s like something inside his chest cracks. Without thinking, he pulls the NASA hoodie into his lap, and then over his head. It’s been here too long. It still has that smell of ozone and copper on it, though.
Tucker leans back in his chair and stares at the wall.
ー
Danny was home. That’s the thing. The last time Jazz saw him, he was inside the house, and she never saw him leave. He must have, at some point. She has no idea why, or for what, but he must have. It’s the only rational explanation. Danny left. Something happened. He never came home.
She feels the panic rising, gripping her throat again. She puts the candle down on the bleachers. Wipes her face. Whoever is speaking to the crowd of students holding vigil is a mess of white noise in her ears. It doesn’t help. It should and it doesn’t. A lot of things are the opposite of what Jazz knowsーthought they are.
She almost wishes it had just happened at home, been a little less drawn out.
As soon as it pops into her head, she feels sick, disgusted at herself.
But no one goes missing this long and lives. A very small percentage do. And if it had been some accident in the lab, like she always feared would happen, at least they’d have a body to mourn. At least they would know.
ー
Sam’s parents pretend they aren’t happy. They have to look worried, grieving, because what would the neighbours think if they didn’t? She can see through it, unlike them. They always hated the Fentons. They always hated Danny. They always hated Sam’s fascination with the macabre.
Well. They got what they wanted.
It’s like he’s in everything. She isn’t even looking for him, and he’s still there, still everywhereー
Sam rubs her eyes on her sleeve before she can properly cry. There’s no body. He could still come back. A month is a lot, but he could stillーhe could show up. Someone could find him alive. He could be alive.
Her parents look at her from across the lavish, stupidly large, solid wood table. She should know what type of wood it is but it’s like the information is behind a fogbank. She can see the silhouette. She just can’t make it out. Mom places her cutlery down neatly, dabs her mouth with a cloth napkin, and clears her throat.
“Sammy-kins…” She starts, and the rage inside Sam bubbles up like lava bursting through rock. “There’s been… We…”
She looks to the side for help, from dad. He looks incredibly awkward for a moment before turning to Sam with an expression she hasn’t seen since grandpa died.
“Saman… Sam.” He says, simply, slowly, and the lava in Sam’s gut turns cold, and heavy. “They’ve found evidence that has given them reasons to believe that… your friend is gone.” He’s never spoken this softly. Ever. His voice is barely audible above the blood rushing in her ears. “They’ve called off the search.”
ー
Tucker didn’t expect nightmares. He wakes up and he panic-cries into his pillow and hopes to whatever god or deity is listening that ghosts in dreams aren’t real. He can’t explain the fear. Everything is incredibly normal, more normal than his dreams ever have been, and then Danny walks in.
He would give anything for this to happen, right now, in real life. He’s afraid, though. In his dreams, a sheer terror overcomes him. He can’t get away fast enough. He can still hear his own voice echoing in his head. “You’re dead! You’re dead!”
It’s a wrongness he can’t quite graspーor doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be afraid of his best friend. Tucker wants him back so badly. But his brain knows the truth, even if Tuck is digging his heels in and refusing to budge.
Someone knocks on his door, and he tenses.
“Tucker, sweetie? It’s…” Mom takes a deep breath. “It’s time to go.”
He grits his teeth and shoves his face into his pillow so hard he can’t get air. He stays like this until he can’t. He gets up.
Tucker walks across the floor like a zombie, barely aware of what he’s even doing. He manages to put on the suit his mom put out for him yesterday, and goes downstairs. He refuses breakfast. The three of themーmom, dad, Tuckerーgo out to the car, and drive to his best friend’s funeral.
ー
Jazz stares at the closed casket. There’s a pair of police officers out of uniform, or maybe detectives, standing in the corner by the photo album laid out on a table looking haunted. Aunt Alicia, uncharacteristically wearing a plain, black dress, sits with mom and dad at the other side of the room. Jazz stares at the casket and she tries to imagine that it’s not empty. That it isn’t making her scream inside with the frustration of it all. Her baby brother is gone. They couldn’t even find him. And probably never will. Because that’s how these things end.
Tucker walks into the room. Dark bags circle his unfocused eyes. His parents are right behind him, his father’s hand on his shoulder. Tucker looks at the casket. He turns away, catching sight of Jazz, and when his parents break off to meet hers, Tucker walks over.
He picks at his sleeves. Says nothing. Jazz tries to pick at the grief counseling she knows she’s studied for fun, but finds herself falling short.
She doesn’t see Sam or Mr. and Mrs. Manson walk in, but suddenly they’re there as well, smiling tightly and giving their condolences to Jazz’s parents. Sam doesn’t walk over. She stands in a corner and stares at a wall with purpose.
Jazz breathes slowly, willing her heart to stop pounding. She counts the stages she can see in front of her.
Too much Acceptance, all from strangers who never even knew him personally. She glances at Dash Baxter, tugging on his tie and looking annoyed. She can feel Anger in her. But also Denial. Bargaining. Depression.
And somehow, Acceptance, too.
They’re not stages. She never really got that before. You feel them all at once, all the time, and they don’t go away. The intensity changes, turning from a background hum to bright bursts of emotion at any little reminder.
She looks at Tucker out of the corner of her eye. She wonders if he’s feeling that way too. Being bombarded by the stages of grief in a way no one prepared them for. Is this why mom and dad never let them get any pets? Besides Danny’s gerbil, which promptly disappeared before she could even get used to the rodent’s smell. What happened to it? Was it rehomed, or is its body still somewhere around the house, unfound, unlooked for?
The stages start over, skipping between Depression, Anger, Denial, the emotions falling over themselves. She wished the cops would leave.
Not soon enough, it’s over. The funeral home employees usher them out, the rooms and halls now empty. The drive home is simultaneously the longest and shortest ever. She stares up at the brick and all she wants to do is sleep. She heads inside intending to do just that.
She takes her shoes off at the door. Mom and dad take off their jacks and move to settle in the living room. Mom is holding a tissue to her eye. Jazz hesitates for just a moment.
Should she do something? She feels like she should do something, anything. She wants to suggest therapy. She’s afraid to open her mouth, though. Jazz can feel the blame on the back of her tongue, ready to spill out. That would be the worst thing for her to do, and she doesn’t know if she has the strength to hold it back, because for fucks sake, if they just watched their children, this wouldn’t have happened.
Jazz turns to the stairs and starts climbing them. She doesn’t get halfway before she’s blinded by drywall dust and knocked off her feet.
#Danny Phantom#Let Grief Do Its Work#i'm surprised the format stayed. i literally just copy pasted the whole thing#me remembering The Gerbil: ohoho yes i can use this for evil purposes#btw this series (extended HOMSH universe) is like. supposed to be funny#but i also was literally so depressed at the time it ended up hella depressing. i don't like. remember anything from that year#HOMSH was a vent fic & then i promptly forgot it existed til i rediscovered it like 4 months later just after the 1st anniversary of. yeah.#i literally have no memory of writing it at all. it was literally like reading someone else's work#i vaguely remember figuring out the panic attack chapter but that's literally it#every time i reread it it's like. an all night affair. i put on Implode Alright by Built by Snow & read it til dawn#& it's funny. but also it's like. yeah. that's uh. that's where my mind was. & it's the only proof i have that i was even alive that year#dont worry i was pulled out of my severe depressive episode a year later when a kitten ran out of the woods & attacked me & stole my hotdog#i still have that half feral kitten. he's a lot bigger now & much more of a baby (only with me apparently though)#he even lets me pick him up without severely injuring me#i should just post HOMSH actually. it's unfinished but like. maybe that'll make me want to#posted this & then immediately got hit with the fanfic author's curse. uh. all my shit might get postponed
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