#and it’s not the non-adhd-er’s fault! not at all!

[youregonnabeokay-kid]

ADHD information for fanfic writers:

Diagnostic Process:

the diagnostic process is different in every country, but this is a basic overview

- an ADHD referral can come from any type of doctor, unlike referrals for other neurodivergences

- the wait list depends on where you live and how old you are. typically the younger you are, the shorter the wait

- ADHD has to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or by a doctor who has taken a specialized course to be certified in diagnosing and handling ADHD

- most doctors will make you fill out a questionnaire about your mental health. these questionnaires involves sections about family history, personal history, and statements that you have to agree or disagree with

- a good psychiatrist won’t diagnose you with ADHD during your first visit. they will instead spend the first few visits getting to know you and the state of your mental health

- most people are assessed for depression when being assessed for ADHD. this is because depression can present itself in similar ways. if diagnosed with depression and open to medication, the psychiatrist will first prescribe antidepressants and see how those affect you before moving on with the ADHD assessment

Meds:

- most ADHD meds are taken in the morning since they normally wear off after 8-12 hours

- when meds wear off we go through what’s known as a “crash” or “medication rebound”

- ADHD crashes are pure hell which is why some people with ADHD choose to only take meds during the week or they do nothing on the weekend as a reset of sorts

- basically, when our meds wear off all of our symptoms come back at the same time and we get overstimulated to the point of exhaustion

- some people have smaller doses of their meds that they take at the beginning of the crash. this means they can prolong the crash by a couple hours

- for some people, the first time taking meds is hell. the change is very noticeable and abrupt. i wouldn’t stop talking because it was “too quiet” (it being my mind)

- your dosage is not based on body type or weight and just because you take a high dose in one drug doesn’t mean you take a high dose in all others (my ADHD meds are 10mg higher than the highest prescribed amount but my antipsychotics are .5mg lower than the lowest prescribed dose)

- vyvanse is most often prescribed to people with combo ADHD, ritalin to those with hyperactive ADHD (especially those with impulsivity issues), and adderall for inattentive (no, this is not something that is typically disclosed or well-known but if you’ve talked to enough people w/ ADHD you begin to see a pattern) other ADHD meds are available but less likely to be prescribed

- other meds are also taken into account when getting a prescription for ADHD. vyvanse is the most versatile and is usually the one prescribed if you’re on other medications

- ADHD meds are stimulants which means doctors will never give you refills (if they do, they could lose their license)

- since they’re stimulants, for the first year you have to go to the psychiatrist’s bi-weekly for the first few months, then monthly after that so they can see how you are doing

- ADHD meds are known for lowering sex drives and increasing hunger (sometimes the opposite may happen, as with most drugs, but these are most common)

- it takes about 1/2 hour to an hour for meds to kick in and many of us are able to tell the exact moment they start working

Other Substances:

- the neurons and chemicals in the body of an ADHD person are fucked. this means that many substances and medications have either no effect on us, or the opposite effect of what they are intended for

speaking from personal experience:

- caffeine makes me tired

- melatonin and other sleeping aids like dextromethorphan, which can be found in many cough syrups, make me hyper

- weed makes me feel lighter, but it never affects me more than that. i never get a “proper high” like other people (ie; i find no more joy or fascination in bright colours or moving objects than i usually do)

- while “sugar highs” in general are a myth, they’re real for people with ADHD! they stimulate our dopamine and opioid receptors which gives us a burst of energy

- additionally, people with ADHD are more likely to be addicted to illegal stimulants like cocaine because it calms them down (yup, you read that right. when someone with ADHD does cocaine their mind quiets and they mellow down instead of the usual hyper-active high that neurotypicals get)

Additional Information:

- we’re lacking some of the neurotransmitters in our brains so it takes us longer to process information, and we have “more” thoughts than neurotypicals since our additional thoughts aren’t processed out

- we get what’s called “executive dysfunction” or “ADHD paralysis” where we are physically unable to do things despite no real physical limitations (for non-ADHD folks: try putting your hand in fire. you’ll notice that you are either physically unable to or that your body somewhat restrains you from doing it. this is what executive dysfunction is like. for ADHD folks: do not try this since we’re also less likely to have self-preservation instincts)

- basically, i can sit for hours thinking about doing the dishes, screaming at myself in my head to just do them, but i’m still unable to

- we leave trails! we have so many thoughts going through our head that we forget them all the time, so when we get a thought like “i think the printer is low on paper, i should check” we abandon all tasks in favour of the new thought. however, the remains of those tasks stay where we left them, and thus, an ADHD trail is made

- we have both the worst and best memory of anyone you will ever meet. i might be able to tell you the exact outfit you wore on a specific day five years ago but i won’t remember what i ate for breakfast

- when we get bored, we get depressed. like, life is meaningless and i want to curl up in a ball and die depressed. sometimes we need someone to physically force us out of bed to get us out of our funk (and sometimes all it takes to get out of the funk is doing something fun which makes us feel ridiculous when we think about how depressed we were prior)

- since boredom is detrimental to us, we have to constantly be having fun which, in and of itself, is not fun. this is also why a lot of us end up doing shift work or working dangerous jobs

- we’re adrenaline junkies. this isn’t even a “most of us” situation, it’s all of us. the only difference is how we get that adrenaline. (some get it by jumping out of a plane, others get it by working on assignments in a time crunch)

- we’re social beings. even if we’re introverts, we thrive on social interactions. without them our dopamine plummets and we, once again, get depressed

- all silences are awkward to us. it doesn’t matter if you’re the person we’re most comfortable with in the world, silence is always awkward. or, more specifically, we feel like we need to fill it which is why we often ramble

obviously there’s far more to ADHD than just this and everything can change person by person but i hope this helps to gain a bit more of a general understanding on ADHD

[chloroformedlover]

🚑📈💓 Welcome to the ER 🚑📈💓

🩺💊💉 A Yandere Writing Account 🩺💊💉

🏥👨‍⚕️👩‍⚕️ About me:

My name is Reveka and I am 18. I love writing and highly enjoy it,, it is my coping mechanism and how I process stuff. I've always done it and love it so much,, I love reading just the same! Writing and reading are my favorite things ever besides music. I do have ADHD and have a job so I will be all over the place with posting and working on stuff. I will not tolerate hate so do not be a little bitch because I don't have the time nor energy to deal with pathetic childish drama. My asks are always open for my followers! This is a secondary blog though,, all follows and likes will come from @chloroform-angel 🏥👨‍⚕️👩‍⚕️

My OC 🏥👨‍⚕️👩‍⚕️

🧪💉🔬 Rules and Boundaries:

Do not bug and hound me about when I will be posting a new story or fic or headcannon, etc. I will not respond to the asks or messages if it brings anything up about when I will be posting something. This is because of my adhd, it is unmedicated; because writing is my coping mechanism and a hobby of mine; I do not have to constantly post and I do not have to work on an idea just because you want me to; and last but not least because I have a job and life outside of Tumblr. I will accept requests though, pretty much anything and everything for themes and writing pieces, by that I mean short fics, headcannons, blurbs, etc. That will be further discussed in the next section. 🧪💉🔬

If you do not like what I write about or the contents of my stories then simply do not read. I will always have the themes and content posted at the very top and beginning of the post for that very reason. If you consume any of my writing it is on you if it hurts your feelings or triggers you as I will always have it stated on the post in plain view. It is on you if you do not like it and still chose to read it. Be mature and competent about what you read,, you control what you intake on the internet and I am not at fault for it. 🧪💉🔬

If you're under 16 please do not read my works that have smut in them. This will be stated on every post I make that has smut in it for under 16 to not interact. I have done my part of stating what I am comfortable with and I do know I cannot control what others do,, if you simply have respect you will know the correct thing to do. 🧪💉🔬

Requests are only allowed to be done through asks,, if they get sent through pms then they will be ignored and not written. 🧪💉🔬

Fics and stories will be x my oc as that is how I write. I do not do x reader or x y/n, so if you do not like that then do not read my stories or fics. Headcannons are different and will not be x my oc or x me unless they are specifically made for it to be like that. 🧪💉🔬

🩺📋💼 Writing Themes and Contents:

Of course there will be yandere themes but there will be anything and everything ranging from fluffy cuteness to dark morbid taboo things. Such as paraphilias, murder, extreme kink/fetish and abusive, toxic scenarios and situations. Kidnapping will be apart of it as well. The paraphilias will be anything ranging from non harmful to harmful,, necrophilia will be one of the ones I will write for, for an example. If you're not sure what I will write for go ahead and ask before requesting. 🩺📋💼

I will NOT be writing for pedophilia and zoophilia. I may be pro para but I am simply not comfortable writing for those two paras. I will NOT be writing for anything that deals with scat, piss, vomit, daddy kink, mommy kink, abdl, tbdl, cgl, ddlg, ddlb, infantism, etc of stuff along those lines. 🩺📋💼

Again, if you do not like what I write then do not read my stories and do not interact with those posts nor me if it offends you that much. 🩺📋💼

[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

Husband and I have been afflicted by... something??? Awful.

Both of us are in horrendous stomach/abdominal pain. We're probably going to emergency here soon.

I'd rather be having contractions during labor vs what is hitting me now.

We both took the last two hydros from my old postpartum meds. For him it did nothing and for me it only took the edge off barely for maybe an hour before coming right back and knocking me out it got so bad.

Husband is someone who sorta goes by something similar to the farmer pain scale. If he's hurting, it's severe. Last time he was actually incapacitated, it was his first ever severe case of shingles.

He went to the hospital, and was on pain medication for a month or more. Which, if you knew him, you'd go "oh shit", cuz this man simply, powers through everything else below the severe category.

My only concern whenever needing the er for pain relief is their hoops to jump through. I'm autistic-adhd and do not display my pain like they expect.

My 6-10 and upwards on the pain scale is me internalizing it, shutting down, going non-verbal. I appear calm and collected which always makes them doubt the sincerity/severity of the pain level.

Hopefully with my husband and I both going in, he's verbal, we can get some relief. (Vent - Which is really irritating with doctors because last time I went nonverbal, I was still able to write it all down and the doctor refused to even look at the paper. So we fucking sat in silence until I choked out like 3 words and she based her entire limited understanding of my issues based on that. Not. You know. The extremely detailed notecard I brought in as a communication aid.)

I really wish doctors would see someone who's nonverbal from pain, unable to even hold focus/gaze, and general inability to interact as someone who hmmm might need help vs "I'm frustrated and flabbergasted that I can't easily checkmark boxes and send you on your way easy peasy" reaction a lot of doctors give in the city closest to us.

The moment they can't cure you from their pamplet checklist and get that pat on their back for doing a doctoring, they're fed up with you and instead make it your fault for being 'difficult'. (Sorry, vent because I just hate needing to go to the doctor for pain like this.)

The pain is creeping up into my chest now so I'm going to rest. We're waiting on a friend to come over to stay with our littles so we can go.

Wish us luck. 🤞🏻

[tedoculus]

So, it turns out that it isn't my doctor's fault quite as much as I thought it was. State insurance like Medicaid has some big pros and some big cons. The pros being that if they cover it, they cover it. I've had several ER visits, been referred to a specialist, a CT scan, two overnight sleep studies, a CPAP machine that will become permanently mine in like 8 months, a weekly therapy session including transportation, 6 monthly prescriptions, and I have had to pay $0 in out of pocket costs. NOTHING! No co-pays, no co-insurance, no deductible, ZERO.

The con is of course that this is the least desirable insurance for any medical organization to accept. Because it pays the smallest amount to them versus other insurances, and it has the largest degree of overhead costs. So this means that very VERY few doctors will accept it and be your primary care physician, and its even harder to find mental healthcare that accepts it.

The issue today was that Medicaid won't cover two of the ADHD meds I've been taking at the same time, because "there's no data that indicates using both medications can be more effective than one or the other." It hasn't come up yet because they allow a 2 month transition period where they cover both so that the doctor can step down the dosage of one to prevent withdrawal symptoms. And my doctor HAS brought up taking me off of the non-stimulant since it eventually stopped working for me, but I haven't wanted to go off of it because there's one symptom that it still alleviates even though it stopped helping with the others.

The price without insurance at Walgreens was $104, but I was able to use a "prescription discount coupon" to bring it down to $30, which isn't the end of the world. (And yes I know that those things exist because it let's them use all of the personal information that the pharmacy has on file about me and sell that data to other companies) The price without insurance at a rock bottom price pharmacy like Costco is $25.

If I wanted to keep taking both prescriptions I would have no choice but to pay for one of them out of pocket. The non-stimulant one is actually way more expensive than the stimulant. I'm going to decrease its dosage and ween off it, and if the one symptom returns too severely I can always go back on it and have it covered by Medicaid and just spend $25 a month getting the stimulant at Costco.

I FOUND A PHARMACY WITH MY DOSAGE OF prescription IN STOCK

I GOT MY PRESCRIPTION SENT TO THAT PHARMACY

I SPENT AROUND 5 HOURS TOTAL ON HOLD THE PAST TWO DAYS GETTING THIS DONE

THE PRESCRIPTION IS FILLED

IT IS READY FOR PICKUP

BUT THOSE LOONIES AT MEDICAID NEED EIGHT THOUSAND MILES OF RED TAPE TO BUILD THEIR NESTS WITH SO THEY NEED ANOTHER PRIOR AUTHORIZATION FORM BEFORE THEY'LL PAY FOR THIS ONE

AND I TOLD MY DOCTOR'S RECEPTIONIST PERSON YESTERDAY THEY WERE GOING TO NEED A PA FORM, AND THEY SAID NO THEY WON'T!

AND THEN THEY DID!

SO NOW TODAY I'M LIKE HEY CAN YOU SEND THE PA FORM

FOR THIS MEDICINE THAT HAS A NATIONAL SHORTAGE PROBLEM AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FILL FOR 10 BUSINESS DAYS

Thank you for letting me know. I want to let you know that Doctor REDACTED is on holiday until Tuesday and the PA will get done when she returns. Thank you.

1 NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

[nepenthendline]

Haikyuu Masterlist

we love ourselves a graphic designer

Here’s my masterlist for all haikyuu content I write! This will be consistently updated as I continue to create more 🧡🧡

Key: (hcs) - headcanons, (d) - drabble, (tw) - trigger warning, strikethrough - upcoming fics, * - smut, er - emergency request

Daichi:

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Helping S/O through a panic attack (hcs, tw)

S/O with Dermatophagia (hcs)

S/O crying from an argument (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Bachelor Parties (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

S/O worried to show affection (hcs)

S/O with an eating disorder relapse (hcs)

Domestic flirting (d)*

Caring for a sick S/O (hcs)

Sugawara: 

Proposal (hcs)

S/O that self-harms and has an eating disorder (hcs, tw)

S/O with selective mutism (hcs)

S/O with ADHD (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Lazy Day with S/O (hcs)

Chaotic Sugawara hcs

S/O changing stims after being told they were annoying (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

“Your laugh is beautiful” (d)

Pegging hcs*

S/O having an epileptic seizure (d)

Domestic moments (d)

Asahi:

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Wedding Dress (d)

S/O who sleeps a lot (hcs)

First Kiss (d)

Their favourite dates (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

Tummy (d)

S/O with sensory sensitivity (hcs)

Pegging hcs*

Taking care of his hair (d) 

Domestic moments (d)

Tanaka:

Love Languages (hcs)

Moving in together (hcs)

Beach day (hcs)

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Helping S/O through a panic attack (hcs, tw)

S/O crying from an argument (hcs)

Their favourite dates (hcs)

Tanaka Boyfriend hcs 

Tanaka with a chubby S/O (hcs)

Care (d)

Type of criers (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Bachelor Parties (hcs)

Needy Tanaka with a responsible S/O (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

Girlfriend in a rock band (hcs)

Period Sex* (hcs)

“It’s not your fault” (d)

Pegging hcs*

S/O having an epileptic seizure (d)

Comforting S/O after failing exams - ADHD!reader (hcs)

Nishinoya:

S/O who’s pet died (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Period Stains (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

“I missed you, so much” (d)

Tsukishima:

Mental Health (hcs)

Love Languages (hcs)

Proposal (hcs)

S/O that self-harms and has an eating disorder (hcs, tw)

Sleepy Tsukishima after a match (hcs) 

Tsukishima being soft with his crush (hcs)

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Pamper session (d)

Clumsy S/O (hcs)

S/O that sings randomly (hcs)

Chronically ill S/O who feels they are a burden (hcs)

S/O with Dermatophagia (hcs)

S/O with Anxiety (hcs)

S/O crying from an argument (hcs)

Writer S/O writing passionately for the first time (hcs)

Their favourite dates (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Bachelor Parties (hcs)

Trust (d)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

S/O with sensory sensitivity (hcs)

S/O that forgets to eat (hcs)

“Don’t listen to them” (d)

“You’re not going to fail” (d)

“You compliment me nicely” (d)

“I like having you around” (d)

S/O that gets cuddly in the cold (hcs)

Study break nap (d)

Him begging for attention (d)*

Together (d)

Yamaguchi:

Love Languages (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

Skirts and thigh-highs (d*)

Kageyama:

Mental Health (hcs)

Proposal (hcs)

With an affectionate S/O (hcs)

S/O with Dermatophagia (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Hinata:

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Helping S/O through a panic attack (hcs, tw)

S/O who sleeps a lot (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Quiet S/O cheering them on (hcs)

Bachelor Parties (hcs)

—-

Kuroo:

Proposal (hcs)

S/O with selective mutism (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Study Date* (d)

Unmotivated Friend (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

S/O worried to show affection (hcs)

“I love your personality, you’re so sweet” (d)

“You’re such a nerd” (d)

“You’re so strong” (d)

S/O with an eating disorder relapse (hcs)

Kenma:

Love Languages (hcs)

Proposal (hcs)

With an affectionate S/O (hcs)

Clumsy S/O (hcs)

S/O crying from an argument (hcs)

S/O dealing with tics (hcs)

“It’s going to be ok” (d)

S/O who forgets to eat breakfast (hcs)

Lev:

Beach day (hcs)

—-

Iwaizumi:

Going on a hike (d)

Crush comforting Iwaizumi after losing to Karasuno (d)

S/O with ADHD (hcs)

Christmas/Holiday (hcs)

S/O showing emotion for the first time (hcs)

Bi S/O getting kicked out (hcs)

S/O changing stims after being told they were annoying (hcs)

Period Sex* (hcs)

“You are good enough” (d)

“I know you do can it” (d)

S/O that overworks themselves at school (hcs)

S/O that gets cuddly in the cold (hcs)

Oikawa:

Flirting with Kageyama’s S/O (hcs)

S/O who’s pet died (hcs)

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Sleepover with Oikawa (hcs)

S/O showing emotion for the first time (hcs)

Period cramps (d)

S/O ignored when talking (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Writer S/O writing passionately for the first time (hcs)

Bachelor Parties (hcs)

Seeing S/O dressed up for the first time (d)

Unmotivated Friend (hcs)

Lazy Day with S/O (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

‘You have a lovely voice’ (d)

S/O that overworks themselves at school (hcs)

—-

Aone:

Developing a crush on hinata’s older sister pt 1 (hcs)

Developing a crush on hinata’s older sister pt 2 (d)

Selective Mutism/Non-verbal ASD Aone (hcs)

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Soulmates (d)

Holding hands and kissing for the first time in public (hcs)

“I will support you” (d)

S/O having an epileptic seizure (d)

Size and breeding kink (d)*

Koganegawa:

S/O having an epileptic seizure (d)

—-

Akaashi:

Love Languages (hcs)

Helping him relax after practice (d)

Finding his S/O and child jumping in puddles (hcs)

S/O showing emotion for the first time (hcs)

Clumsy S/O (hcs)

Comforting his S/O (d)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

S/O crying from an argument (hcs)

Writer S/O writing passionately for the first time (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Unmotivated Friend (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

Hand fixation (d)

Bokuto:

Mental Health (hcs)

Your child fighting with Bokuto over pet-names (hcs)

S/O that feels everyone hates them (d)

S/O with loud and big stims (ADHD) (hcs)

Christmas/Holiday (hcs)

Chronically ill S/O who feels they are a burden (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Period Stains (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Bachelor Parties (hcs)

Witchy S/O (hcs)

S/O dealing with tics (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

Period Sex* (hcs)

“You’re not annoying” (d)

S/O that overworks themselves at school (hcs)

Comforting S/O after failing exams - ADHD!reader (hcs)

—-

Tendou:

Mental Health (hcs)

Love Languages (hcs)

S/O that self-harms and has an eating disorder (hcs, tw)

S/O with ADHD (hcs)

Insecurity (d)

S/O with selective mutism (hcs)

S/O who’s pet died (hcs)

Gentle Loving* (d)

Traits a S/O could take advantage of (hcs)

Soft n*fw hcs* 

S/O that sings randomly (hcs)

S/O ignored when talking (hcs)

S/O with Dermatophagia (hcs)

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Period Stains (hcs)

Poly!Ushiten x S/O (hcs)

Pulling Away (d)

Their favourite dates (hcs)

Type of criers (hcs)

Bi S/O getting kicked out (hcs)

Lazy Day with S/O (hcs)

Witchy S/O (hcs)

Chocolate making date (d)

S/O changing stims after being told they were annoying (hcs)

S/O worried to show affection (hcs)

S/O dealing with tics (hcs)

Helping S/O with school (hcs)

Favourite forms of intimacy (hcs)

Period Sex* (hcs)

Holding hands and kissing for the first time in public (hcs)

Chubby S/O (d)

“I’m proud of you” (d)

“You’re so special to me” (d)

“This is so good” (d)

Focus - ND!Reader* (d)

S/O having an epileptic seizure (d)

Ushijima:

Mental Health (hcs)

Type of S/O (hcs)

Poly!Ushiten x S/O (hcs)

Period Sex* (hcs)

S/O with an eating disorder relapse (hcs)

Goshiki:

With an affectionate S/O (hcs)

S/O having an epileptic seizure (d)

—-

Atsumu:

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Osamu:

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Aran:

Teasing you (d)

Suna:

Making out (d)*

---

(aka I don’t really write for them but sometimes they pop up)

Ukai:

First Date (hcs)

S/O who sleeps a lot (hcs)

“You don’t have to be perfect” (d)

Akiteru:

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

Terushima:

Haikyuu guys that can do the WAP dance (hcs)

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT���S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Ep 5: Icebreaker

what’s up with Hina’s left eye?? 

We’re still in the early stages of the season so laying out the foundations for the relationships is expected but man, am I so happy that bonding (er, or rather familiarizing?) happened between Cures. Neither of whom are the Pink Cure for once.

Of course, I’m definitely not downplaying Nodoka’s (much appreciated) involvement in this because she played the most critical role in bringing Chiyu and Hina together to help them try to get along better.

But it’s still evident that for the past seasons that started out with a trio team, the Cures that debuted second and third have less special interactions with each other than they do with the lead Cure. At least for Go!Pri, I felt that was a glaring underdevelopment and one that came too late in the game. Not so much for Fresh, where Miki and Inori were already childhood friends, and Hugtto, where Saaya and Homare did take notice of each other but it happened more in the background as opposed to being upfront and center.

Anyways, the main issue between Chiyu and Hina is compatibility and they’re trying to find ways to make that work for them.

Obviously, neither of them have any problem with Nodoka, whose personality is just very kind and receptive in general. This makes it easier for Hina to be herself around Nodoka because she knows Nodoka won’t judge her for her faults.

But next to Chiyu? Not so much.

However, it’s not so much as to how Chiyu is acting around Hina but rather, Hina’s worries of her own “flaws” playing up and Hina projecting the honor student image on Chiyu rather than seeing Chiyu as just another normal girl.

So yea, in short, Hina’s intimidated by her idea of Chiyu. Not really by who Chiyu truly is.

And of course, Chiyu notices because up till this point, the most she’s been doing is trying to stop Hina from spilling the beans about them being Precure.

But that’s not all.

Hina already told them that she’s quite scatter-brained and has a hard time remembering things (a large indication that she might have ADHD).

So being the responsible person she is, Chiyu’s only trying to help Hina with that. Like suggesting that Hina take notes to help her remember better, constantly reminding her to be careful about their alter ego identities and so on.

Chiyu’s not mad or anything. It seems she’s already accepted Hina along with her troubles and just wants to help her because they’re on the same team, after all.

But Hina’s reaction every time to her advice is one of fear so Chiyu’s worried if she comes off too harshly, rather than helpful.

Really, they’re just awkward because their types are so different. Prior to becoming Precure, Chiyu hangs around people whose wavelengths are closer to hers and likewise for Hina.

Chiyu attends school clubs, is the class representative, interacts with a more mature, level-headed crowd. Especially since her home is an inn where most of the patrons would be adults. She goes by things in an orderly sense because her lifestyle molded her into that type of person.

Hina likes to go shopping, is very talkative and into stuff that’s trending among young people. Not to mention, she’s the youngest sibling in her family so she’s probably more free-spirited because of that.

So yea, they’re different but not so bad that they can’t be friends. They just gotta learn to get used to each other.

And the only way to do that is spend more time around each other like Nodoka’s mama said.

True, for some people, on a fundamental level, they just can’t get along no matter what they do.

But does that apply to Chiyu and Hina?

Nah, I don’t think so and the trip to the aquarium proves it.

From the start, Hina, still out of fear of angering Chiyu, tries her best to reign in her impulses.

It’s clear that Hina is very aware of herself and doesn’t want that to make anyone feel uncomfortable around her. She’s far from selfish and willing to listen to others as long as they all have fun together.

Chiyu, too, is not picky but if they didn’t hang out like this in the first place she probably never would’ve known that Hina had this side to her.

In any case, for once, Chiyu’s smiling at something about Hina and Hina starts noticing that Chiyu has other sides to her as well.

It’s a given that she has to be more serious when it comes to important stuff (like school, Precure being a secret, etc).

But outside those things, Chiyu’s not the least bit scary.

She has a very serene and, as Hina described, even “soft” demeanor.

And she shows she can be just as dorky because she even laughs at Hina’s awful puns.

If that ain’t a keeper for you, Hina, then I don’t know what is. 

lol xD;

Too bad all this discovering new things about each other gets cut short with Pegitan getting lost and Shindoine terrorizing their group date which leads them to have an...well, can you really call it an argument?

An argument of priorities, then.

It’s not that one is more right than the other but again, they’re not at that point where they can understand each other without complications yet so it takes Nodoka to calm them both down in order for everybody to reach an agreement together.

Which is actually very necessary in terms of team dynamics. Currently, the relation between Chiyu and Hinata is work in progress and surely, we can’t expect them to sort things out on their own. Not when they haven’t learned to drop their guards down when they’re next to each other yet.

So they need someone to act as buffer between them and that’s Nodoka.

Awesome.

Again, I really like how everyone’s involved with each other in similar degrees. Nodoka being a part of the discussion that’s focused on Chiyu and Hina, without taking the spotlight from them, is the sort of thing I really want to see among Precure interactions.

Moving along...well, I really don’t have much to comment about this scene.

Because even though Hinata charging in without a plan to retrieve Pegitan did work out for the Cures, it was still a dumb move because who knows what Shindoine might’ve been hiding behind her back as she held Pegitan hostage?

Understandably, Chiyu is not pleased.

Pegitan got violently knocked around like a cheap bean bag, Hinata got into a scuffle with the enemy, the aquarium’s still under attack.

She’s mad, alright. And you know it cuz even Nodoka, a non-target of her rage, is going “Oh shit!” at the dangerous vibes Chiyu’s giving off. ^^;

Needless to say, after the battle, Hina cannot avoid being scolded but what she doesn’t realize until a second later is that Chiyu’s mad because she was worried about Hina.

Moreover, when Hina hears the words “from now on,” it all but tells everyone that yes, Chiyu does want Hina on their team and therefore YES, Chiyu does want to be good friends with her.

And it’s because Chiyu wants to treat her like a friend that she’s not going to hold back when Hina does something stupid again.

Chiyu gets angry because she cares and showing you care is what friends do even if it means ya gotta yell at them from time to time.

Now, we don’t know to what extent Hina actually realizes that but at least she knows now that nobody wants her off the team.

And I’m glad we stopped at this point for the Chiyu/Hinata progression today instead of having everything resolved in one episode (which isn’t realistic) and never addressing it again. Or leaving it for just one or two episodes before the end and call it a day then.

Friendship takes time, building a relationship takes time and most importantly, it requires efforts, big and small, from both sides in order for it to be truly mutual. It has to be continuously shown for it to be believable as well.

So if (and this is just my guess at how things might go, btw) we can see Hina gradually loosen up around Chiyu and practice taking her advice now and then and Chiyu allowing for some more patience with Hina while they bond and become closer throughout the show, then I do not doubt they’ll become very good friends by the end.

Maybe even the best of friends.

So ganbatte, Chiyu and Hina!! We’re all rooting for you!

✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽ ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽

[nohshinwoos]

do all of them mel i dare you

you know what? i hate you for this, but i did it anyways!

under read more for obvious reasons (it’s long af lmao)

so these are the answers to this post - let’s do this shit!

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

closed

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

no

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

i’ll be good by jaymes young (started listening to his album ‘feel something’ and fuck it’s good 100/10 would recommend)

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

green

(6) Relationship Status.

single af

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

15 degrees

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

yeah

(9) How Many Followers?

1,814 (honestly don’t know how that happened but wow thanks for following me)

(10) Zodiac Sign.

pisces

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

hazel (i think?)

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

nope

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

yes

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

none, only fanfics

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

trick question when the closest book was a graphic novel: username: evie by joe sugg

(16) Favourite Anime?

uh, spirited away or princess mononoke… because that’s like the only one’s i’ve seen

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mum

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

anything with a fox

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

rice, sauce, oven “baked” quorn filé, vegetarian “bacon” and tomatoes

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yeah sometimes

(21) Favourite Animal?

dogs

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

sometimes, depends on what is on

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

at like midnight or 1am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no never

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

pool

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

@tarjeiandhenrik​ and @cheekyeven​

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

tap water

(28) What Makes You Happy?

@tarjeiandhenrik​

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

with music, i do everything with music or else i can’t concentrate (adhd brain lol)

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs all the way

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

green

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

don’t know

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

yeah sometimes

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

green (looool can you see this is my fav colour?)

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yeah

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

spend it, wish i was good at saving tho

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

sadly, no

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

too many

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no

(42)Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

depends

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

i rarely remember my dreams anymore, but sometimes yeah

(44)Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

i’ve never been on one so idk

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the fault in our stars (the book too, i cried so much)

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

uh both

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

all time low! (watched them once, wanna see them again)

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

depends, but i guess

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yeah i guess

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

YEAH SO FUCKING MUCH

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

read - sometimes. write - yes! at least fanfic lol

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

sometimes

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

wrap presents, pumpkins are so messy

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

believer by imagine dragons

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

late summer/start of autumn

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a life without mental illness

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female, she/her

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

coffee

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

nope! school’s out forever!!!

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bi and ready to die

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

sometimes

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

pikachu and eevee

(64) Favourite Social Media?

tumblr all the way

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

idk

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no not that often when i travel.. and i live at home so like, no more like the opposite

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yep

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

maria åkerberg

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

idk, theatre tickets are expensive af

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

don’t have one so lmao no

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“du er ikke alene” - isak valtersen, 2016

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

brown or blue

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

ah, yes - the most fun about the school yard was the swings!

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

banana

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

wordfeud & wordbase, but i don’t really like them

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

idk i’m too socially anxious to interact with strangers in any situation

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

yeah always! one does not simply sit on their computer for just 1 or 2 hours lol

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

lmao way too many times

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

not really because anxiety, but i also enjoy hearing peoples stories and getting to know them

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

no, that’s way too anxious for me

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

watched shameless, wrote on my new fanfic and ate ice cream

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

sweatpants and a shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

like make up? i don’t have any

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

both? i like when i can get up early and feel like i have a long day ahead of me, but i have a hard time actually getting up. i’m also most energetic during the night (a fucking owl) so that’s why i love the night more

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

i have sims 1, 2 & 3 (not all expansion packs) on pc, but other games for like playstation and xbox are my brother’s games

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

i dreamt that i met dan and phil once but i don’t remember more than that now but damn it was a good dream, we were like good friends in the dream i thnk? it was nice

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

non-alcoholic apple cider, it’s like the only soda i drink nowadays

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

good music

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

jeans when i’m out and about and sweatpants at home

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

a fresh selfie:

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

youtube videos or watching a good tv show

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

dogs paws on my wrist, but i’m too scared of pain to get it

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

dan howell, phil lester & joe sugg - couldn’t choose one lol

[planetkuhn]

* robot seagulls ( solo )

LOCATION: an animab psychologist’s office located somewhere in washington, USA TIME: some sunday in 2005-2006... around there TW  // disability (ADHD), medication (+ mentions of side effects incl. bad eating habits), a lil sprinkle of anxiety LENGTH: 2k 

“-- maladaptive daydreaming.”

kuhn first hears the term in that cramped little office, watching his mother’s intently face for signs of a negative reaction, but she just nods at doctor campbell, looking calm as ever. doctor campbell is another american doctor -- but is she really a doctor? she acts more like a teacher. it’s confusing.

“...can be a symptom of children with ADHD... mostly when he’s overwhelmed... might not be the only thing going on but it will explain the stories... the ADHD  should be treated properly, otherwise his school...” the blonde lady goes on and on and on; all those english words blend together and kuhn can’t even try to understand what she’s saying, but he does recognize the term school and immediately feels a spike of nerves in the pit of his stomach once he realizes that they’re probably talking about all the math tests he keeps failing. his mom nudges his shoulder gently and gives a short translation, but kuhn is only half-listening and he still doesn’t really get it anyway, so he just nods nicely.

kuhn’s gaze travels from his mother, to the walls and the ceiling and the window and the floor and then back to doctor campbell the doctor/teacher-person, where it lingers for a while as she and his mom talk about the sheet of paper in her hands. she’s weird, he thinks. the outfit she’s wearing seems more teacher-y than doctor-y. her name starts with doctor, but there’s no stethoscope anywhere, and only somebody like a teacher would ask him to answer so many questions and give him weird tests where he has to tell her what kinds of shapes are in those  ugly black pictures. maybe ‘doctor’ means teacher in english?

he shouldn’t be at the doctor’s anyway. he doesn’t feel sick at all, and he definitely doesn’t want them to give him any more medicine -- he hates it! it sucks! around four times out of ten, he will forget to actually swallow the pill his mom gives him, so then it dissolves in his mouth while he lays there Thinking or dozing off in the morning. which makes his mouth taste like the one time he ate the neighbour kid’s chalk to prove that he was cool-- and then spitting it all out is even more like the time he ate chalk to prove that he was cool. but he can’t win -- when he does swallow it properly, his food at lunch never tastes good anymore and then he gets in trouble for pawning off his mom’s nice korean-style home cooking for as much blue jello and goldfish crackers as he can get from the other students, because he can’t stomach anything else.

today is sunday, so he didn’t have to take his medicine, which in his mind was a Victory; but now little kuhn can’t stop shifting restlessly in the too-big chair, bony shoulders dancing as he looks around the room yet again. he starts to hums under his breath. it’s a tune someone showed him at school on friday. i’m bringing sexy back, yeah! he'd been hollering it on repeat in the schoolyard for the rest of that break, until one of the supervisors got him in trouble for saying a bad word. even though none of his new american friends had told him it was bad. he forgave them pretty quick though, as he always does.

bored eyes fix upon some pictures on the wall behind doctor campbell, but they don’t look like pictures. they’re just big white sheets of paper with nothing but words on them. biiiig, loopy-looking english words, and some numbers that look a lot like the ones on their calendar at home.

mama says that kuhn is getting really good at reading english. but he still doesn’t understand why american adults sometimes write in squiggly-lines. he has tried to teach mom how to write properly whenever he catches her writing on something like that at home, but she keeps telling him not to worry about it -- you’ll learn how to write like this at school when you’re older, she says patiently, to which kuhn almost always replies that he doesn’t need to learn how to write in wiggly because mister english-teacher-whose-name-he-can’t-pronounce-yet always says his writing is “getting better”. (kuhn even has bravo! and fantastic! stickers stuck all over his spelling workbook now, so that means he’s basically an english master now, he’s pretty sure.)

kuhn’s eyes travel from the boring non-pictures to the more interesting ones facing him on the desk. there’s a big one showing doctor candle -- oops, doctor campbell (mom said it’s rude to keep forgetting her name, even though it’s not his fault american names are so hard) -- with two kids, and a tall man. they’re all golden-haired and they’re all smiling, and they look burnt, but happy.  kuhn can make out the beach in the background, with white sand and blue skies and flecks of colour where beach umbrellas stick up in the distance. everything seems very colourful.

kuhn hasn’t been to the beach in so long. the last time he went, he was little, or littler, anyway; it was with both dad and mom together, and it’s one of his favourite memories, one he revisits a lot when his mind wanders. kuhn blinks a few times, and as eyes lose a little focus, the man in the photo starts to look a lot like dad.

the fact that that other guy was american and blond and definitely not korean in the slightest doesn’t seem to matter at all, as kuhn still feels warmth flow through him at the imaginary sight of his father regardless. he tilts his head just a little and watches doctor campbell’s image also morph, but into mom this time. he blinks once and the taller of the two children is mirroring kuhn himself.

kuhn then looks into the eyes of his father and sees that gentle smile and the teeth that matched kuhn’s as soon as his two front ones finished growing in; he imagines he can feel a little ruffle of the hair on top of his head, and then he feels the heat of the sun left behind on the top of his head as the ghost of his father’s hand disappears.

mom and the doctor’s voices are long gone now, replaced by the sound of ocean waves, seagulls, kids screeching as they chase each other with seaweed. kuhn doesn’t move an inch but the world around him does, the sensation of his father and mother swinging him by the arms far too vivid for him to be able to register how his butt hurts from sitting on an uncomfy chair for too long, or how cold this room felt when he got here.

he can’t help but smile a little to himself; he loves the beach, he loves home, he loves mama. he loves dad.

this vision is much more realistic than most of the things he daydreams about, though, and as if on cue, a giant godzilla-like monster emerges from the water in front of them.

but this monster is his friend, because kuhn said so, and he’s become quite used to adapting things within these little daydreams in ways that makes him happy. the kids around them start climbing godzilla like a jungle gym, kuhn waves, godzilla waves back, and kuhn goes back to hanging out with his likewise-unbothered family.  

he’s just begun chasing the robot seagulls around with a lighstaber, while waiting for his dad to return with his french fries, when a gentle, albeit firm shake of the shoulder snaps him back to reality. he finds himself looking to his right and staring up at his mom’s face. a slow, confused blink, a pause, then-- “uh-huh,” kuhn states with some confidence, nodding -- answering the question he assumes he missed.

his mother’s gaze softens, though the way her brows draw closer together betrays her worry. she squeezes his shoulder and speaks to him in korean: “...kuhnie. i asked you what you want for dinner.”

with both sets of eyes on him, it feels like his mother’s question was more of a test than anything, and he feels more than a little embarrassed about getting his answer wrong. so he huffs, waving a hand. “oh. yeah, i know! i was just, um... still thinking about it,” neither of them call him out on his lie, so kuhn relaxes a little.

“i want french fries.” his gaze flicks up toward the ceiling as he remembers his fry stand he was just visiting. his stomach grumbles. “not mcdonald’s, though! i want the kind dad was gonna get me before.”

there is a pause before his mother speaks again, confused. “the-- the which kind?”

“remember the beach fries? can we get those?” pause. a thought occurs to him, and he adds, a little concerned: “i’ve been good enough today, right?”

though she assures him he has indeed been good today, kuhn’s mother reminds him, gently, that the beach he’s remembering from years ago is very, very far away from their new home now and they can’t go there. there is a part of him, the more mature part who has started to understand more of the real world around him lately, that understands how ridiculous his request is, but the other, more bratty side of him is stubborn. it’s not really the fries he’s that worried about anyway.

kuhn hesitates, then answers with a shrug: “i think dad knows where it is, it’s okay.” he stretches out a hand. “mama. can i have your phone? i’ll ask him to take us there all by myself. so you don’t have to talk to him,” he offers, helpfully, because, for a kid his age, the empathetic kuhn has been made far too aware of the tension between his parents, even if he doesn’t understand what all of it means yet.

his voice comes out small, and it has taken on an almost pleading note now. it’s not the first time he’s asked to call dad -- and it’s not the first time mom has set her jaw like that or sighed so delicately and it’s not the first time she’s said no, it’s too late where he lives, or no, he’s too busy with work to talk on the phone. she also adds that he can’t drive across the ocean and kuhn puffs out his cheeks because um, yes he can, he remembers that his dad can do basically everything.

but even still, kuhn can’t stop how his lower lip juts out, nor how that strange, sharp feeling in his chest comes back. he looks furtively out the window -- before his mom can notice his expression, because he doesn’t like when she sees that he’s sad.

he can already feel the tug of his little fantasy beckoning him to return, as he blinks furiously, his eyes focusing on something outside that he can’t really see. the doctor and his mom have started talking again now, and since he doesn’t want to listen anyway, he lets himself zone out again. he just wants to go back to his dream. just for a little bit. he doesn’t get to go away like this much anymore, not since he started taking his medicine.

it’s way more fun than this stupid STINKY office, he thinks, and then immediately feels bad about because he’s already thought about how doctor campbell can probably read his mind or something. sorry, doctor campbell. your office is not that stinky. i’m just a little mad at mama right now because she won’t let me call dad for some reason. he imagines himself sitting there, hands folded in his lap, attitude an exact mirror of his mother’s calm demeanor beside him. though he also pictures himself as bigger than he is now, sitting tall, shoulders squared in a strong way that reminds him more of his dad.

i need to talk to him real bad, doctor campbell. mama keeps bringing me to doctors like you when i don’t need to go. i think she thinks i’m sick, but i’m not.

he does feel a little sick, sometimes, but it usually just happens when he’s too worried. just like mama does when she gets too worried. the difference is for kuhn, it goes away when he finds something else to think about or someone to play with, while it seems like his mother has a harder time with that part. he sometimes wonders if his mom needs her own doctor/teacher people to talk to.

i think dad will believe me, doctor candl-- campbell. maybe i can show him my magic tricks and he’ll think they’re super awesome and cool and not just me making things up. maybe he’ll teach mom about them so she doesn’t look at me so sad anymore.

this awfully one-sided conversation in his head plays out for a while, as he explains everything to his internal doctor-teacher that he doesn’t want his mom to have to translate for him: how frustrating it is that dad works so far away now, how annoying it is that mom won’t let him talk on the phone anymore. how much it sucks that the only way he’s figured out how to talk to is dad is by writing letters, because it’s been so hard to keep them secret, but he worries that his mom will get him in trouble if she finds out, since she’s so weird about calling him on the phone nowadays. (kuhn has been dropping them off in their mailbox on his way to catch the bus in the morning, trusting the mailman to get them and send them to his father because... that’s just how it works, kuhn thinks. anyway, the letters are always gone when he gets home so he’s pretty sure it’s working.)

and then soon, dad will know that i miss him, and he’ll come and he’ll take me and mom away from stupid STINKY america. he bites his lip and scolds himself again. sorry america. you’re not that stinky. i’m just feeling mad again--

“--kuhnie. yah, kuhn. han kuhn.”

he jolts. “uh-huh,” he answers, quieter this time as he watches his breath fog up the window a little. he almost lifts a finger and draws a frowny-face on it before stopping himself.

“it’s time to go home. do you want to stop for mcdonald’s on the way?”

no! mcdonald’s sucks! i want beach fries, i want home, i want to see dad--

“uh-huh,” he repeats anyway, rubbing the sting of tears away with the back of his hand.