#actual woman feels like if she saw. like its so horrible

[cuntstable]

every day against my will i see a random people online get a videos of them just doing normal shit or simply existing posted to twitter without their knowledge or consent, in order to either purposefully mock them or to otherwise be weird about them and everyday i wanna killmyself and everyone in the world in turn

[dukeofthomas]

Why Jason Todd doesn't believe in Batman's idea of ''justice'', or his way of doing things.

[ellecdc]

Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫

But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!

Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.

Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.

Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵

......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈

poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)

Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.

Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.

But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.

His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.

Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.

If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.

But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.

One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 

He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 

And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.

He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.

So yeah, Sirius was pissed.

And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 

Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.

Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?

Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 

And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 

And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.

But Sirius did know better.

“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.

Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”

“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.

“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.

“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”

“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”

Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”

“Hi Reggie!” 

“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 

“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.

Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.

Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.

It made Sirius sick. 

“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 

You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.

Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.

“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.

You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.

“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.

“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 

Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.

“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 

“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 

“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.

“What?” Sirius squawked.

“Be nice.” He chided.

“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 

“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.

“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.

Sirius hated every single one of them.

But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 

Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.

“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.

The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.

Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.

Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?

Except...you breezed right past him.

“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.

“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.

“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.

“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.

Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.

What the fuck was going on right now!? 

“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.

You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 

“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.

“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 

You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”

His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.

“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”

Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.

“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”

You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.

“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 

Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”

“No.” Sirius muttered. 

“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”

And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...

Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.

Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...

Love.

A lot of love. 

“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.

“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 

“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.

“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.

“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 

“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 

“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.

Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.

Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...

Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.

And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 

Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 

“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.

Literally.

“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 

“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.

Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.

“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 

“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.

“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.

“Pads...”

“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  

“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”

The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”

“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.

“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”

Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”

“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.

“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.

Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.

“Remus.” Regulus warned.

Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.

“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”

“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 

“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 

“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  

don't hate me

[auggieblogs]

Where’s the trophy? | MV1 Instagram au

Max Verstappen x fem! reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ In which they both are world champions

Author’s note: Hiii, my loves. I hope everyone is doing good. First of all thank you so much for 1k followers, I love you all so much❤️‍🩹. This is not my best work so, apologies in advance!!!

Also this was requested by lovely @sm3156 🥰 (thank you bubs). I had fun writing it<3

―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist

maxverstappen1

liked by virat.kohli, oscarpiastri and 567,771 others

maxverstappen1 Big congratulations to team India!!!🇮🇳 and my lovely wife. I couldn't be more proud, nothing but love for you❤️

tagged indiancricketteam and yourusername

comments:

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maxverstappen1 I was actually about to throw up ☝🏻

username max is my favourite wag 🫶🏻

*liked by yourusername*

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*liked by maxverstappen1 and yourusername*

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username take a bow everyone

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username max giggling like a little girl every time y/n blew him a kiss was my highlight

yourusername So glad you were here to witness it💖

*liked by maxverstappen1*

maxverstappen1 No where I'd rather be.

username she knows how to ball...and bat

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oscarpiastri 🏆🇮🇳

username Y/N L/N THE WOMAN YOU ARE!!!!

yourusername

liked by landonorris, redbullracing and 456,332 others

yourusername My world champion❤️‍🔥 no. 1 looks great on you!!!

tagged maxverstappen1

comments:

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maxverstappen1 Had to live up the L/N name😉

yousername I'm a very proud wife;)

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usernmame my fantasy threesome actually.

danielricciardo our* world champion🙄

yousername no sharing tonight im afraid🤷🏻‍♀️

username WOAHHHHH ITS A FAMILY SHOW

username or is it???

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username she was about to commit crimes after that horrible pit stop 💀

yourusername i was pissed okay 😞

username HELP they are equally whipped for each other

[rvp32]

can u write short stories of chaeyoung (fromis_9). She's cheat from her husband with someone better at sex and bigger size

Chaeyoung finally got married after a lot of pressure from her parents, one of the main reasons she agreed to marry him was that he looked handsome.

The wedding was done and the couple was finally alone with each other, Chaeyoung didn't waste another second and she pulled her husband in for a kiss. The kiss wasn't too bad, but it felt messy almost like he didn't know how to kiss properly just pushing her tongue in and not moving his lips properly made the kiss feel uncomfortable. however, sadly for her, it wasn't going to be the only disappointment she had tonight. Soon the kissing stopped and he helped Chaeyeoung take off her clothes, reveling in her ethereal beauty. It was probably his first time seeing a woman naked given how impatient he was.

With absolutely no foreplay he pushed Chaeyoung onto the bed and soon after got rid of all his clothes except for his underwear. "Are you ready my wife?" He questioned as he slowly pulled down his underwear. There appeared the second disappointment of the night, his penis was tiny most likely smaller than Chaeyoung's pinky.

Chaeyoung had hoped that he was a grower and not a shower, and she needed to know so she got down from the bed onto her knees to get him hard, but sadly it only managed to grow an inch probably totaling a size of around 3 inches in its full glory. She tried to keep an open mind by telling herself that it was all in motion but in the back of her mind she knew that this was not going to be enough. His impatience showed again when he pulled Chaeyoung and pushed her onto the bed not caring about her at all.

Without any warning, he immediately pushed Chaeyoung's legs apart and pushed his penis into her with a massive groan. The groan was probably the only reason Chaeyoung could tell that he had put his cock inside. starting to pound her to the best of his ability without giving any time for Chaeyoung to adjust, though it's not like she really needed time to adjust to something so small.

Then came the highlight of the night, the last straw for Chaeyoung, within 2 minutes of inserting his cock into Chaeyoung he pulled out and blew his load all over Chaeyoung's abs. Not caring about Chaeyoung at all he fell beside her and soon fell asleep.

Chaeyoung felt horrible, not just because she married a tiny premature cock but also because she was used like a sex doll and left lying in bed with cum drying up on her stomach while her husband fell into a deep slumber.

Chaeyoung was questioning her decision to marriage, sex was one thing but he didn't seem to be kind or caring which Chaeyoung desperately desired after how badly her parents had always treated her.

This was all a bit too much for her, after cleaning herself up she went out of the hotel room to get some air and organize her thoughts a little. 

I can’t believe that I actually married that excuse of a man, how am I going to get out of this one? He put on a completely different facade before we got married. Chaeyoung thought as she walked the beach. 

After walking and enjoying the beach for a little while, she saw a bar not too far from where she was. Chaeyoung really needed a drink after everything that happened and how fucked her life might end up being. “Hey, can I get some Whiskey please,” Chaeyoung asks the bartender as she sits down. She downs the first shot as soon as she gets it and asks for another one. At the same speed, she downs 2 more before she is interrupted. 

Change of perspective

“Oh lady slow down, you are going to get drunk if you keep drinking at that rate!” you say as you take a seat beside the said pretty lady. 

“And how does that concern you?” She is probably tipsy from her drinks. 

“Chill lady, I was just looking out for a pretty lady such as yourself,” you reply and order yourself something to drink. 

There was a moment of silence, where the both of you were just staring at the beautiful scenery outside, the sound of the waves crashing was therapeutic. 

The silence is broken when you say, “So what is a pretty woman such as yourself doing here at such a late hour all by herself.”   

“Trying to drown my sorrows after ruining my life,” She says.

You are shocked because that's a huge statement to make especially for someone who looks so young. “Aww, don’t say that, talk to me. Maybe I can help you,” 

She then explains everything and you are also concerned with what you just heard, keeping her company and you drank more till the point where the both of you were tipsy and enjoying each other's company. 

All of a sudden, she leans in and kisses you, the kiss is filled with lust, and you reciprocate it. She was gorgeous and you were going to enjoy every single second of this. 

After kissing each other for what felt like an hour, both of you pulled apart. Your foreheads still touching each other, catching up your breath. 

“I need you to fuck me, I just need to feel loved,” Chaeyoung says, her breathing still frantic. Pulling you in closer to her body, her boobs pressing against your chest. 

“My room is close, we can go there,” you suggest. 

Chaeyoung agrees and the both of you head toward your room. As soon as you are inside, she pulls you into a deep kiss and climbs onto you, her legs hooked together around your back. 

Not pulling out of the kiss you manage to navigate the both of you to the bed. Slowly kneeling to put Chaeyoung down. 

“Are you sure you want this? Because once we do this there is no going back,” You warned Chaeyoung. 

“Yes, I am sure. I need this so fucking badly,” Chaeyoung whines. 

You kneel at the edge of the bed and pull Chaeyoung toward you spreading her legs. Pushing her panties to the side you are met with her glistening wet pussy. Not wasting another second you begin eating her out and playing with her clit. 

The moans in the room grew louder and her hands were now gripping your hair pulling you closer to her core. You could tell that she was getting close to her orgasm. 

“Fuck I am going to cum, keep going! You are so fucking good at eating me out!” She screams as you continue to eat her out and rub her clit with your hand. She cums all over your face, and you lick up every single drop of her delicious cum. 

“Now it’s my turn,” you say as you discard your clothes and pull down your underwear. 

She looks shocked, “Oh my God, that's fucking huge,” she says before taking your dick into her mouth. She slowly sucks on it not being able to take it in completely. You help her out by pushing her head into your body. 

“Enough, I wanna feel that tight pussy on my cock,” you say after a few minutes of receiving a blow job. 

With her lying on the bed, legs spread apart, you tease her a little by slapping your cock on her pussy causing her to moan a little. Just as you were about to put it in you were stopped by her, “Wait, please, slowly. I don’t know if something so big can fit inside” She says. 

“Don’t worry princess, I will be slow,” you say and enter her pussy, it was extremely tight almost like she was a virgin. 

“Nghh Fuck!” she screamed out as you slowly pushed into her. Once you bottomed out, you stayed there giving her time to adjust to your length. 

“Y-you can move now but slowly okay?” With her permission you began moving slowly, you also played with her clit a little to help her relax. 

“Fuck your cock is so big, it's stretching me out so well,” she moaned as you continued to pump her tight pussy. 

“Harder, please, go harder please!” she screamed as gripped the bedsheet. You obliged, your thrusts became harsher and deeper. 

“Fuck fuck fuck, how can such a big cock even exist, Aghh it's stretching out my tight pussy like nothing ever,” she screamed out and that gave you a naughty idea. 

“Oh really? Does your husband’s dick not satisfy you?” you questioned. 

“NO! His tiny pathetic dick could never reach the places that your cock is touching. Oh my fucking God,” she moaned out, her pussy was tightening, signaling her impending orgasm. 

“Are you going to cum for me slut? Are you going to cum on an absolute stranger's cock on your honeymoon while your cuck husband sleeps peacefully in his room!” You groaned as you continued to pound her pussy. 

It was getting hard for you as well, with the way that her pussy was gripping onto your cock you wouldn’t last much longer either. 

“Oh fuck I am going to cum, keep going, keep pounding my pussy, ahh fuck,” she continued to moan, her fist turning white from how hard she was grabbing the bedsheet, She soon came all over your cock but you didn’t stop as you were also chasing your own orgasm. 

“Nghh, I am also going to cum, where do you want it,” You managed to say as you continued to pound her.

“O-outside!,” She screamed from the overstimulation and you soon pulled out and cum all over her perfect abs. 

You grab a tissue and clean up your cum from her abs and fall onto the bed next to her. “I know this isn’t exactly the correct order but what’s your name?” you ask her 

“I am Chaeyoung, and you?” 

[helplessautomaton]

its you, youre all i see

y!daisuke x reader

wc, 853

writing this as i eat my beef bone broth ramen and listening to Queen

going off my word vomits, somewhat soft? everyone is mentioned

~

it'd been a week. yet the frustration and tiredness was setting in more heavily now. you tapped along whatever surface was available to you, something that wasnt so interruptive. daisuke wasnt here in the medical room with you, where you actually were needed. you were anya's intern but as of late you felt more like swansea's instead. you genuinely felt so bad for the woman, constantly being whisked off to a department you had little to none experience in. there's only so much of a branch she could offer towards your situation before getting fed up with it.

not to mention curly's frustrations with the situation at hand. god forbid if jimmy ever saw you, the man always managed to show up in the wrong place at the wrong time. getting more and more pissed off with you, to the point he almost put his hands on you. by some horrible place of giving credit where its due, you couldnt find yourself to blame him. before the extent of the situation got to be more, everyone thought your relationship with daisuke was cute. as long as it didnt interrupt work- now it feels thats all you ever did. you didnt want to pity yourself while proceeding not to do anything. obviously not wanting to be seen as a burden who stayed near only one person and couldnt do anything.

daisuke was so attached to your person, his million dollar smile refusing to extinguish when his arms were around your waist. you had your own little ray of sunshine by the hip, but eventually it began to burn. the two of you were getting constantly scolded by someone, even if you tried to explain to daisuke— you really needed to be helping anya right now. yet daisuke managed to make you stay just a bit longer and the cycle would repeat. there were times where you two were properly doing your separated tasks and the overall mood would lighten, apart from swansea complaining about daisuke. anya would relax and smile more towards you, curly looked like he didnt have a headache for most of the day, jimmy- jimmy was himself, couldnt have given less than a shit about him. these were times you didnt mind when daisuke stole you away, after shift when you both were doing your job separately.

yet, daisuke couldnt let you go for long, he'd start whining then run off to find you if swansea didnt force him to stick by his side. besides those moments, when hes with you he still feels the same as he was when you two first met. just always a little closer, letting you play with his hair or anything he was allowed to bring with. those were the times of normalcy where it didnt feel like everyone was on the edge of snapping at you two. both of you laughing at each other's jokes and getting along swimmingly. never failing to catch the stars in daisukes eyes whenever you were just there, in proximity to him. never mattered where you stood or sat, his eyes were wide open. somehow they only got wider when you praised him- even by a little bit. his too good smile radiating over to you as he held your hands in his.

daisuke always noticed your tiredness to some degree. genuinely concerned for you, slowing down to match your mood. he needed to be the one to cheer you up, in his mind no one else could do it as well as he did. you were aware of his inability to hand you over, even to your captain who might have needed you for something. in the back of your head, you understood why, he enjoyed your company like no else and he didnt want it to suddenly be cut off.

he always managed to some extent cheer you up, he made it hard to say no. some part of your brain was happy about that, he was your best friend after all. even if all the tension was caused by his need for you to be by him. his love was vibrant even if you thought he wasnt really in touch with it. he was just all over you and there was truth to say it was overwhelming but some part of you didnt mind. yet you had to stay reasonable and not let it consume you, you had a job to do.

you were quickly pulled away from your thoughts by anya, completely forgetting where you were. she gave you a concerned smile before stating that she had no idea you were in here waiting for her. giving a nervous laugh you apologized for being in your own head and not coming to find her first. just at this point hoping you get to stay doing your intended task and spending time bonding with someone different. hopefully you could find a balance with daisuke so this could all work out in some capacity.

[misseviehyde]

SIMONE SAYS

You wanted to stop your boyfriend. You wanted to end this right now, but Simone had said you had to sit quietly with the ballgag in, so that's what you were doing.

He looked exactly like her now... that bitch in the mirror. You kept telling yourself she wasn't real, that this was just a game that had gotten out of hand... but the fact your boyfriend was now almost a physical copy of your imaginary friend suggested this was more than some prank. Somehow this WAS real.

She pulled the satin pants into place and reached down for the final item of clothing...

In moments there would only be Simone.

How had this all started? Well it was all your fault.

You'd always had an imaginary friend called Simone that you blamed for everything naughty you ever did growing up. A play on 'Simon says' anytime you'd ever gotten into trouble you told people Simone had told you to do it.

When you'd gotten older, it had continued. Simone got the blame for telling you to cheat on guys, be horrible to people at work and act like a bitch. If anything it was a fun game that gave you license to do whatever the fuck you wanted.

In time it even began to make you act worse. Imagine what Simone would do in this situation... how bad and evil she would act. It made you actually come up with nasty ideas and thoughts.

Your imaginary friend was the most evil, sex obsessed cruel bitch imaginable. And then you'd got your boyfriend involved too.

You'd told Gary about Simone when you'd first met - as a kind of joke. But then he'd told you it kind of turned him on when you did things she would do. So you went along with it.

Simone appatantly told you to suck his dick in public, send him nude photos at work and then even stick your finger up his ass when you were fucking. Gary loved to play 'Simone says' the rules were you had to do whatever she told you.

But then things got weird. You began seeing a beautiful woman in every mirror you passed and so did he. The two of you were astounded to find out that somehow Simone was becoming real.

Now whenever you passed a mirror her evil whispers would fill your mind and make you do things. At first you thought you were just losing your minds - but then you began to see there was more to it.

Your imaginary friend had somehow become real and was now reaching across the mirror dimension trying to get into the real world.

Simone was coming to life and she was hungry for a body. Your body.

The two of you smashed every mirror in the house and tried to escape. Maybe if you ran far enough you could escape her.

You realised your mistake when you walked into the hotel room with its huge bathroom mirror and saw Simone smirking at you.

"Simone says Gary... become me."

You realised then that it wasn't you she wanted to possess but him. As you watched him begin to put on your clothes, he started to change.

"Mmmmmh I feel so fucking good," moaned Gary as his bones shifted and his reflection began to resemble the smirking bitch in the mirror.

With each item of clothing he put on, his change into her accelerated and you watched your imaginary friend being born in the real world. The girl in the mirror laughed and exulted, her actions freakily different to the woman in front of it.

Breasts grew, hips widened, hair lengthened, skin tanned. A beautiful woman was being born and she was loving every second of it as the image in the mirror began to fade. Simon was newly real and the mirror could no longer contain her.

As Gary slid on a blouse his body finished transforming and Simone finished touching up her makeup. The mirror shimmered and suddenly cracked then Simone's ntoken reflection returned... only now just a normal reflection of a real woman. Gary was totally gone.

"Well loser, it's done. I'm finally in your world. Mmmmmh all those naughty things you've blamed me for over the years... well I can't wait to ACTUALLY do all of them.

Simone giggled as she advanced and rooting around in your suitcase found a butt plug.

"Why don't we start with a little BDSM? Simone says bend over."

As you assumed the position, you wish you'd never invented such a fucking bitch...

[ihopesocomic]

wait i’ve not liked tribble in ages but she’s also transphobic?? how did i miss that part. everything i hear makes her worse lmao

We've mentioned this a couple times before on this blog, yea. She purposely used he/him pronouns for a nonbinary ex-employee who specifically uses they/them pronouns, talking shit and lying to negatively impact their career.

Believing it's fine for lesbians to pursue trans men even tho there's a horrible ongoing stigma that lesbians just treat trans men as the new butch lesbian instead of. You know. Men lol which on its own can be taken at face value like, oh there's just a misunderstanding, or she's referring to multi-gendered people. But when trans men, bisexuals, and lesbians alike explained why this is a problem, her reaction was less than impressive, and she flew off the handle and made herself a victim and just said people were attacking her. Which if they were, I didn't see any of that anywhere. I saw people calmly explaining and then rightfully had a bad reaction to HER bad reaction. Some of the tweets and Tribble doubling down can be found here.

Further proof of this can be found in this callout doc on page 22 (please note if you intend to read the whole thing: everything up until page 29 concerns only the behavior of Tribble, anything after covers general controversy of users in the MP Discord server)

And of course there's the trans lioness in MP. The inclusion of which is hardly noticeable or has any significant impact on the plot despite the plot specifically outlawing queerness. But the real problem lies in that her purpose in the show is to demand harm upon a child, and trans women/trans men have been propagandized by right wing media and politics saying the mere presence of a trans woman/trans man is a threat, especially to kids. And if you're cis and queer in the last 5-10+ years, and you're not aware of this harmful stereotype and you opt to include it in your "lgbt+ friendly show" then you're just adding to the problem.

As for why Moonstrike was there, her being trans was probably an afterthought. She probably thought it'd earn her some brownie points. I have no proof of this, just judging based on everything else in the show that was added at the last minute. Like the main queer couple for example lol. - Cat

-

Also, her having Moonstrike as a character in her show doesn't cancel out this history of transphobia. If you're not willing to accept what a problematic stereotype the character is anyway...

Like Cat said, it feels like Moonstrike was just there as an afterthought just so the transphobia allegations could be waved away with 'well, she has a trans character in her show so she can't possibly be transphobic!' (and it is an argument I've seen some MP fans actually put forward here and there) when we all know an infamous situation concerning an infamous author where a trans character was slid into a game centred around her IP. Still doesn't make said author not a blatant transphobe. oof

And, as a sidenote: we didn't want to have to do a legit "callout" post on this blog regarding this issue because it's obviously distressing to some folks and not what the blog is primarily for but because some of you seem so intent on painting us as awful people for not tiptoeing around someone with a history of transphobia, we're taking this opportunity to weave this stipulation. - RJ

[butchhazard]

my trans to radfem story. started off as a response to another post i saw but i kind of just kept rambling and now it’s its own thing lol. i was always a bit nervous to share my personal experience out of fear of being judged but i think a lot of people will be able to relate to my perspective. or keep sending me hate if you want it’s all the same to me atp 👯

in the same vein of always seeking out arguments against my own views i frequently look at trans blogs and the amount of projection they do about “TERFs” is astounding. especially claiming that radical feminists have no sense of “kinship” with other women and that we think being a woman is all about suffering and hating yourself. they literally only believe this last part because we’re the only group of people who are honest about misogyny. the “kinship” thing is especially crazy because i WAS trans for *8 years* and during that time almost every single one of my friends was trans as well. i had zero solidarity or kinship with other women and believed them to be completely unrelatable because i was “different”.

the one time i felt brave enough to confide in my closest friend of 10+ years (who later dumped me like trash for becoming a feminist) that i was uncomfortable with penises and only wanted to be with “people with vaginas” she looked at me like i was crazy and told me, “that’s weird. I don’t feel that way. You probably shouldn’t say that.”

eventually i did cave into the pressure of being “inclusive” and put myself in many dangerous situations where men were able to take advantage of me and abuse me. at one point i truly believed i had more in common with TIMs than with “queer cis women” and had come to the conclusion that cis women were dangerous. did this MRA rhetoric serve to strengthen my female friendships like TRAs are somehow claiming it did or did it just make me the perfect victim??? (being male-identified in this way made me a horrible friend not only to other women but to myself as well.)

meanwhile i peaked as a radfem towards the end of 2021, when i was 22. i was staying at a women’s college w/ my ex. for 2 weeks we both felt completely insane and like we had just stepped into another reality. suddenly our lives became so much clearer. we were sobbing constantly just reflecting how misogyny and male violence had affected not only our lives, but the lives of our mothers, sisters, and friends. i was horrified to speak to any of my trans friends about feminism because of the “TERFs are nazis” shit we had been conditioned into believing, but i literally believed that i owed them the truth as a friend who cared and was concerned for their safety. i also naively believed that since *i* realized the TERF propaganda was a complete lie and that radical feminism was not only empowering but life-giving, they would feel the same. nope! they called my ideas brilliant and “galaxy brained” to my face and then turned around and told everyone else i was now dangerous. everyone cut me off from their life as punishment for daring to think differently. i was completely devastated. the friendships that i held so close to my heart for years and years meant nothing to them. this hurt especially because i was starting to realize just how easily they would forgive their male friends for worse, including things like disrespecting them in public or physically assaulting a woman. these were lesser crimes than being a female-identified woman.

meanwhile, around the same time, rumors of our cancelation had been going around the college and another feminist actually reached out to us. she called us her sisters and introduced us to other likeminded women who were so intelligent, supportive, gnc but proudly female. we were all the same yet so different, and different viewpoints were encouraged instead of suppressed. i was learning more about the world and my place in it every single day. for the first time in my life, i felt purpose. every since i was a little girl i had this foreboding sense that other people knew something i didn’t and that i was always “missing a piece of the puzzle”. that feeling disappeared after i became a radical feminist. 

since then, almost every feminist woman I’ve met has been such an inspiration to me, regardless of whether i like her or not. it’s actually funny that TRAs claim we have no sense of “kinship” as if women’s lands and festivals aren’t the ultimate expression of friendship and solidarity lol. i’m constantly floored especially by how kind and generous older women are to me, and how easily women my age accept me if i just allow them to. i love being a woman, i love other women, and i know that other women love me.

women in general do have a solidarity/kinship problem but this is simply not true of lesbian feminists and other radical feminists as a community. other women are our strength and lifeblood. after my ex and i broke up (it was messy girl) i wanted so badly to hate her but i literally couldn’t because i still loved her as a woman even if i didn’t love her as a partner anymore. to this day i would probably struggle to come up with a woman i actually “hate” bc it’s just not in my nature any more. my anons literally can’t relate lol 

yes radfems as a group aren’t perfect and we are generally “angry” but so are TRAs. the main difference is we direct our anger outwards rather than inwards. when i was 23 i submitted a letter to Lesbian Connection that included this paragraph that still sums up my views of being a TIF vs radfem completely:

“Realizing that my femaleness was the only thing that determined my gender– that I was born a woman and would die a woman despite not conforming to made up standards created by and for men, liberated me from the chains of believing I had been “born in the wrong body” and needed plastic surgery to fix myself. I was never born wrong and the fault never lay with me– it lay with the patriarchal society we all live in which forces females and males into incredibly limiting boxes.”

[beifong-brainrot]

your analyses of Lin came to mind the other day when I saw someone post about how “Lin should be able to smack Korra at least once.” And like. It’s not just one post, it seems to be a common ‘jokey’ attitude in the fandom, and…it’s really interesting how much the fandom loves Lin acting violent and aggressive towards everyone - particularly against Korra, who acts in a similar “aggressive” manner but not nearly as shitty (imo), but the fandom seems to despise her for it.

So I was wondering if you have any thoughts specifically on Lin and Korra’s relationship? Both in canon and how the fandom treats them?

Oh yeah, I think I've seen that post! I've honestly been wanting to do more Lin metas but have been holding off because back when I posted a lor of Suyin defences I got a not insignificant amount of nasty anonymous asks, and I know that Lin is beloved by the fandom so while I make my passive aggressive comment from time to time, actually dwelling on the subject is a bit of a gambit.

Honestly, it's not even that I dislike Lin. I actually enjoyed her character a fair amount when I first watched the show and was totally on board with the fandom loving this character. But eventually I got so tired of the constant takes about how everyone in Lin's life is soooo mean to her and how she never did anything wrong and she's secretly just a lil bean , she's just a biy grumpy guys.

And, oh, the jokey comments about how Lin should be allowed to smack Korra, a teen, who, in my opinion gets smacked around fairly enough in the show. Or how she should be allowed to curbstomp Tenzin, despite us knowing very little about their relationship other than the fact that Lin atatcked his house and misused her power as a police officer to terrorise his new partner. Or how Suyin, a woman who has gone through so much to change and become a better person and still keeps ger heart open for those who hurt her, should die or be killed.

Like yeah, they're jokes, but they speak to how the fandom quickly takes Lin's side in most situations, even when there is more nuance to the situation. I think taht due to tlok having such a large amount of violence and fight scenes ans perhaps due to the personality of Korra herself, the fandom has normalised Lin's aggressive and often physical behaviour. And because most of the characters are teens, Lin's immaturity as a person doesn't stick out too much.

But Lin isn't a teen, like Korra or Mako. She's a 50+ year old woman and a fucking cop at that. She should know better. I think one of my favourite questions Lin's character mames me ask is: "how long can you cling to your trauma before its your responsibility to strive to do better?".

This isn't to say that Lin is a horrible person. I'd actually say she's a pretty good person. It's obvious she cares and she can try to be empathetic when the chips are down. But her lack of emotional maturity makes it difficult for her to actually act on her feelings when not in a life or death situation.

Ultimately this is what I like about Lin as a character, her duality. A very protective and thoghtful person, who has stagnated in a shell of anger and aggression.

And I think Lin's relationship with Korra ilustrates this duality perfectly.

I do enjoy Lin and Korra's arguments due to their chemistry and the excellent voice acting. But like it is still an adult yelling at and holding an actual grudge against a 17 year old. Who is already under a huge amount of stress.

I also think that we often forget that in her tiffs with Lin, Korra often starts off with a suprising amount of calmness and grace. She often attempts to actively connect with Lin and express her point through conversation, despite this being sonething Korra markedly struggles with.

Korra : But there were some thugs threatening a helpless shopkeeper, and I had it ... Lin: [Aggressively.] Can it! You should have called the police and stayed out of the way. Korra: [Slightly pleading tone.] But I couldn't jut sit by and do nothing. It's my duty to help people. See, I'm the Avatar.

[...]

Korra: Wait, Beifong? Lin Beifong? [Excitedly.] You're Toph's daughter! Lin: [Seriously.] What of it? Korra: [A hint of amusement suppressed in her tone.] Well then, why are you treating me like a criminal? Avatar Aang and your mother were friends. They saved the world together.

Through the first season, we're lead to infer that Lin's unfounded animosity towards Korra has something to do with her grudge against Tenzin. I can see this not only due to Tenzin's association witg Korra as her teacher and the son of the previous Avatar, but also due to some similarities between Korra ans Tenzin. They're both people saddled with a major responsibility and legacy, who struggle with forming their own identity due to that legacy. Plus, the comic we got about young Tenzin is essentially 1 to 1 Korra's first day in republic city.

Side note: can we stop demonising Tenzin for leaving Lin? I'm pretty sure it's not confirmed that Tenzin left her purely because he needed to have children. And honestly if after he broke up with Lin, she damaged his home, used her posution to terrorise his new partner, and held a grudge for 11+ years, I'm honestly not to sure what to think about their relationship pre breakup. ESPECIALLY with how willy nilly tlok plays with female on male abuse. No, I'm not saying Lin is an abusor, but there may be other factors we need to consider. I mean Lin does outwardly laugh and sympathise with Korra throwing Mako's desk across the room which is the Makorra abuse moment ™️

Though I also adore the implication in B3 that Lin is also reminded of Suyin by Korra. This also is a comparison that makes sense. Korra and Su were both young, rebellious women who had to leave home to find themselves. Both had tendency to be sarcastic and were opinionated and had a habit of defying authority etc.

And I think this may be even more of a reason why Lin has such an aggresive vendetta against Korra and also why she's so controlling in the later seasons. Particularly when she gets on Korra's ass at the party and says that Korra is "nothing special" feels targeted towards Lin feeling like Suyin got special treatment.

Lin being controlling towards Korra can also be seen as her trying to compensate for when she tried to similarly control Su, but Suyin ended up defying her. (While I see a lot of people bring up parentification between Lin and Su, I'll lean more towards it being a very intense rivalry)

Either way, Korra reminds Lin of people who have hurt her and the hurt she seems to cling to in some parody of comfort in familiarity.

This is one of the most visible patterns in Lin I see. Her absolute abhorrence of changing her mindset. She holds a grudge against Tenzin for over 11 years. She holds a grudge against Su and Toph for longer than that. She is so horrifically resistant to even touching the idsa that Suyin had changed as a person. And even after her and Su make up, the moment the opportunity arrises, Lin is back to typecasting Suyin as the bad guy.

People say that Korra was too harsh in The Metal Clan when she called Lin out.

Korra : Su's right. You're never going to change. You're always gonna be a bitter, lonely woman.

And yeah, it was objectively an incredibly mean thing to say and Korra was quite out of line. But she's not wrong. We see Lin struggle with making human connections, we've deduced that her grip on the past makes her hold grudges against people she's never met. We see her be immature, aggressive and emotionally closed off. If she were a healthy individual outside of Zaofu, I would encourage her distancing herself from Suyin. But clearly whatever coping mechanism Lin has is leaving her pushing people away and treating teenagers like her peers.

Like something clearly needs to change.

And I think that's another reason why Korra and Lin are such a fun duo. Because Korra goes through so mucuhchange herself. She shanges the world, she changes the lives of her friends, she changes herself.

And that's something Lin desperately needs and yet fears all the same. This also makes it even more interesting that Aiwei, a member of the Red Lotus who embody that "change" concept was a vital part of Lin and Suyin begining to reconcile.

And I think Lin knows this, to some extent. She knows her coping mechanisms are flawed, but she doesn't want to acknowledge this. But I need to talk about Lin's babystep trail of an arc in a different post.

I was gonna say that Lin and Korra are also similar but honestly other than their tempers and tendency to terrorise their tallass ex boyfriends, there isn't much there.

I still find Lin and Korra's relationship to have some sweet moments. I loved Lin and Korra's moment of kinship afterthey both lost their bending, how gently Korra grabbed Lin after she passed out in Zaofu, how Lin helped Korra get up the stairs after she was paralysed.

I think that one of the reasons they argue so much in B3 partocularly is because they care for each other quite a bit. They just embody two polar opposites. Korra- change and danger. Lin- stagnation and protection. Of course they'll fight.

----

I don't exactly like how fandom treats Korra and Lin's relationship because it always feels ao watered down. This kinda extends to the entire Krew too. The 'Lin is like the Krew's mom' thing. Because on the jokey surface, yeah, i see it. Female authority figure who makes sure they don't get into trouble. Plus fandom has a tendency to forcefully assign cishet traditional family dynamics to found family.

But on a deeper level, acting as if Lin were a mother to the Krew is in my opinion, a bit of an insult to mothers everywhere. Because Lin acts less like an adult and more like a... slightly older teen? Which makes sense, we see that very little has changed in how Lin approaches young people since she was 22. She treats the Krew like peers, bickering with them and making snide comments, but then pulls the authority figure when she wants something. That's like the worst type of adult.

[This is ironic because my mom is actually very much like Lin and this is probably why I gave her so much of a pass when I watched tlok the first time]

Lin is a big sister/aunt figure to most of the Krew at best. Maybe except Mako but he has his own demons and is making himself a son figure whether Lin likes it or not.

But Korra is basically Lin's stand-in for her sister and they both act like it too. They act like me and my sister tbh. And Asami and Bolin barely interact with Lin anyway. There's more ground to posit Su as Bolin's potential mother figure!

Lin is a fascinating character to me, but fandom tropes have sorta ruined her for me. I came into the fandom really liking her character but ended up sorta jaded to seeing the same questionable takes about her over and over again. It just makes me see how little her potential is explored in the show. The writers failed Lin, not by not allowing her to 'win' against Su and Korra and Tenzin and whoever. They failed her by not giving her the storyline she needed. The storyline for which the main catalyst, Korra already was at the centre of the board. They half assed Lin's storyline and now literally every character who so much as looked at Lin has to pay the price.

[Ooh wow symbolism Lin glaring at Zaofu, Suyin's home, but actually glaring at her own reflection.]

I now realise that I have gone on for way too long and got hotrifically off topic, but I hope I have explained at least a few if my thoughts?

[aretheyqueer]

Anyway I sent you that ask but I’m not like boiling over mad about it, it’s just like. The experiences of men and women are different but it is because a woman’s experiences breaks off from the default, which is the male experience. I do not think things can be that clean cut when it comes to gender identity but for cis men? The intersectionality of being black and disabled makes sense, the intersectionality of being black and a man doesn’t. That is called anti black racism. And it is foolish to act like the ways black men are seen, as violent, aggressive, poor, untrustworthy, older than they are as children, aren’t applied to black women too

what are you talking about

well its about this post and normally I try not to give attention to angry anons but I'll talk a bit about it

misandry. a difficult topic for some. it seems that a lot of people believe that in order for misandry to exist, misogyny has to not exist. but that's not true. both exist at the same time and both affect everyone.

men are seen as more violent than women, and if you combine that with the "black people are more violent" mindset, you get a violent black man stereotype, which is different from what a black woman experiences. doesn't mean one is more oppressed than the other. but one of them has been affected by misandry as well. one of the people I know is a black man and because we get "violent black person + violent man" together, people cross the street in order to not pass him on the sidewalk. he has been told to his face by women things like "you're actually cool, I thought you were going to hit me when I first saw you...", which they somehow think is a compliment. this is not only because of racism or misandry, but because of both at the same time.

generally speaking in the US, women get away easier with crime than men. there have been cases where all the evidence shows that the woman killed someone, only for it to be randomly decided that she didn't. this is a combination of pretty privilege, and difference in how men and women are treated. white people also get away with crime easier than black people. it's not ridiculous to think that these combine, that black+man (violent+violent) has different expectations of how much evidence is necessary and how harsh the punishment should be.

when a trans man transitions, it's likely that he will feel a change as he starts to experience male privilege. but things aren't as great as a man as they tell you on the internet.

men and women have different beauty standards. generally, it's seen as unattractive if a man is chubby, has acne, lack of muscles, beard growing in the wrong places etc. (even women who "like dad bods" often go for the conventionally attractive men). now, as a trans man basically going through your second puberty, acne, fat redistribution, hair growth - it can all impact your appearance in ways that you don't actually like.

and this happens. some trans men experience these "ugly" changes, and suddenly they go (literal quote) "people are so mean to me now!" becaaauseee... society has different expectations of men and women, and when men don't meet those expectations, they are treated differently. not only because they're "ugly", but because they are "ugly" men.

a lot of women don't like to admit it, but they can be really horrible to men. there's this assumption that men have it easy, which leads to a couple things:

"Ugly" men are treated horribly by women

Every ugly man is assumed to have worse morals than handsome white men

Women's abuse against men isn't taken seriously

Remember the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case? There was a lot of evidence that a man was being abused by a woman. Him literally taking her to court and showing the world that men CAN be abused by women and there are things you can do about it, was an inspiration to other men that had been abused. But then you open twitter, and... people are demonising him because he has "started a culture where men take women to court over every little thing". You hear that? That's misandry, baby. (btw, rape and abuse accusations have been used against men to take advantage of the "trust all victims" mindset. it's horrible to do something that causes distrust against women who speak up, but it is an unfortunate truth. this happens both off the internet and on the internet.)

Now...

It's important to step out of radfem and "hate all men" bubbles sometimes, because while their purpose is to support women, they are frequently spaces where misandrists thrive. there, it's normal to think every man you pass wants to rape and/or kill you, and it's normal to laugh at and make fun of ugly or weird men.

men and women have different experiences. disabled men and disabled women have different experiences. trans men and trans women have different experiences.

and that's ok. we don't need to have a competition about which one is worse. misandry being a problem doesn't mean that misogyny isn't. we can fight both at the same time.

I would encourage people to think about what they mean when they say they hate all men. if you tense up when you walk past men. how quick you are to believe that a man is a rapist before you've seen the proof. how you define an ugly man, and how you think about ugly and handsome men differently. if you've ever made fun of a man for having traits that you praise women for. if you've ever forgiven a woman for something that you would have never forgiven a man for. etc.

there aren't any titles or stuff in this post so I don't know how readable it is. but if you got this far, cool.

tldr: misandry is real and it is amplified to the max when a man is a minority or doesn't meet the expectations of what a handsome man is, go talk to a man in your life about it

[normshortfornormal]

Steb x OC

"Firefish"

Steb x fem!OC (Vastaya) 

Summary: Steb and Eiden, childhood friends turned lovers, serendipitously run into each other in Piltover after many years of having not seen each other. They decide to commemorate their reunion with a night of pleasure. 

Word Count: 5594 

Tags and Warnings: Explicit, Smut, Oral Sex, Aftercare, Alcohol, slight animal biology, they are in love, steb is such a romantic during sex, established relationship, established relationship and OC lore that isn’t all revealed in this one piece, NOT EDITED, Steb was born in Ionia and is not native to Piltover or Zaun, Steb and OC travelled around Runeterra before Piltover (but not always travelling together)

This is my first time writing smut! Please be kind. This is meant to be the first chapter of a series, so there’s a lot of information and lore that has yet to be revealed. I plan to post this on Ao3 once I have more written for it and once it’s more revised! Please enjoy, and thank you so much for reading!

(yes this is a repost bc tumblr hates whimsy and love)

Read below the cut!

Eiden decided to go to a different bar today. One where the wine was cheap and the music was quieter. Here, in this modest bar where everyone seemed to be friends and knew each other on a first name basis, the bass wasn’t so heavy that it made her feathers feel like they were going to fall off. 

Sitting further in the bar was a stage hosting karaoke night. There was a pretty pair who were singing quite a horrible rendition of a popular love song. The girl was really carrying the whole song, she could actually sing and had a nice voice. The boy accompanied with harmonies that were somehow too sharp and too flat at the same time. Eiden watched from the bar that sat near the entrance, legs crossed and swirling a glass of red wine the same color as her dress. When the pair finished, everyone clapped and whistled, and the woman in charge of the music congratulated them for a sparkling performance. Eiden clapped along, too, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, but she could blame the wine for that. 

She downed her glass and beckoned for another one. 

“Must’ve been a pretty tough week, huh?” The bartender grinned as he poured her another one. 

“Quite the opposite, in fact. Thank you.” Eiden took the glass and sipped it. “Tonight calls for celebration.”

“Oh? And what’s the occasion?” 

“Celebration, of course. Celebrating for celebration’s sake—makes life a little livelier.” 

The bartender chuckled. “Here’s to life, then.” He went off to help another customer, leaving Eiden to bounce her foot to the beat and watch the flow of people. Standing on the stage now was a man doing mumble rap. Despite the poor choice of music, people were dancing anyway. Eiden was tempted to join them, but she was quite comfortable where she was. She had a perfect view of the bar and all its activities. 

There was a group of people who were playing foosball. There was only one woman amongst them. Every time someone scored a point, the loser had to take a shot and shuffle off for the next person. The reigning champion was a very pretty boy whom she’d been trying to catch the attention of since she laid eyes on him. Perhaps if he wasn’t so focused on the game, he would have spotted her by now, but alas, Eiden was left to sit at the bar, sipping wine and lamenting the lack of attention.

Others had noticed her—she was a new face in a bar that seemed intimately acquainted with their regulars—but they were not him, so she didn’t care. 

She was on her fifth glass when he finally noticed her. He had lost to the woman—a young girl with short orange hair—and was forced to take a shot. He wiped his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest, grinning as the woman decimated her opponent, when one of the drunker men elbowed him and pointed her out. His eyes flicked over the bar and did a double-take when he saw her.

Eiden couldn’t help it. Her lips curved into a coy smile. She winked at him before turning away and sipping her wine. From where she sat and where he stood, he had a perfect view of her back, generously revealed by the backless dress she wore. He could see her feathers peeking from just above her tailbone, she knew. 

She could hear his friends egging him on, encouraging to go say hello to her. She did not look in his direction, not even when his shadow graced the wooden countertop. 

“Eiden.” 

She loved the way he said her name. It made her wings ruffle and the tiny feathers on her cheeks twitch. More than that, it was refreshing to hear the familiar Vastayan dialect she had grown up with. She turned her head to face him. She did a very slow once-over of him, paying extra attention to his legs and chest and the blush on his face. 

“How do you know my name, stranger?” she asked with round eyes and fluttering lashes. 

“Just a feeling,” he said, looking equal parts exasperated and amused. “May I sit?”

“You may.”

He took his seat and Eiden eyed his friends in the back, all watching with unabashed eagerness. He leaned to the side, obstructing her view with his pretty face. 

“Don’t be jealous, Steb,” Eiden teased. She swiveled in her seat so her body was towards him. “No one catches my eye like you do.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes. His gaze lingered on her lips, colored deep red with lipstick, and her plunging neckline that teased her stomach. Then he looked at her fingers, and that was what made his frills flicker across his cheeks. 

“You’re adorable,” she said. Her fingers teased his knuckles, and he cleared his throat. 

“I wasn’t aware you were in Piltover.”

“What a coincidence then, hm? Guess we’re fated to meet again and again.” Eiden smiled when Steb intertwined his fingers with her own. “So? What brings you here? To this bar, I mean.”

“A celebration. I passed my Enforcer exam.”

“Oho, congratulations. And I suppose those are…?”

“Colleagues that passed with me.”

Eiden hummed. “Have you had anything to drink? Apart from the one shot you had. Shame your winning streak had to come to an end.” Steb’s friends were playing without him, but they were watching the interaction at the bar, so they weren’t very focused. 

“Not much.” Steb raised an eyebrow when Eiden pushed her half-full glass towards him with her finger. Clearly, he was not impressed by the cheap wine. 

“Don’t act so high and mighty,” Eiden said. “Don’t you remember Bilgewater?”

Steb may have shaken his head and sighed, but he was wearing a smile and his eyes were soft under the low light of the bar. He finished Eiden’s glass. 

Eiden called for two more drinks so they could celebrate Steb’s new place on the Enforcer team. She asked for gin, flashing Steb a knowing wink. They have known each other for too long for her to forget what his choice drink is. 

They clinked their glasses together and downed the drink in celebration. Then Steb asked the bartender for water and nudged the glass to Eiden. She humored him, only because it was Steb and it had been so long since they’d seen each other. 

They caught up on old times. Eiden traced his fingers and nudged his leg with her heels, while Steb admired her wine-red dress and the way it rode up her thigh. When the music turned soft and jazzy, Steb invited her for a dance, offering his hand and bowing because he’s a gentleman. 

Eiden obliged him. Together, they headed to the dance floor. Steb twirled and spun her slowly, let her step on his feet and rested his hand on the small of her back in a way that was all too comfortable and familiar. He smiled as she laughed, and went willingly when she pulled him towards her. She spun twice and ended with her back against his chest, his arms wrapped around her midsection. Eiden let her eyes drift shut as she lost herself in the music and the comfortable embrace. Like this, they swayed together. 

Eiden didn’t realize they had danced for three songs until Steb’s friends rudely interrupted them. Some were more sober than others, but they were all at least a little tipsy. They crowded Steb’s space, oblivious to how his shoulders grew rigid and he shuffled away.

“He’s a gentleman,” they said, “a real nice guy. A little quiet, but he’ll treat you right.”

The only one who was respectful was the woman, who smiled at Eiden. She did not crowd their space and actually asked for Eiden’s name. She complimented her dress, so Eiden complimented her foosball skills. 

The men were both human and men and didn’t notice how her wings and feathered ears kept twitching. Eiden suspected that even if they did notice, they wouldn’t care. It took both Steb wrapping an arm around Eiden’s waist and fixing them with a look, and the woman telling the men they should leave for everyone to finally clear off. They winked at them and flashed them knowing looks as they left the bar.

“Have a good time, you two!”

Eiden huffed, the feathers on her ears flaring a bit. “I see why you call them colleagues now,” she said. 

Steb smiled apologetically and rubbed her arm. “Maddie’s nice.”

“Is that her name? She was the most pleasant of all of them. Are you two actually friends?”

He nodded. Then he held out his hand with a small smile, inviting her for one more dance. 

“How can I say no to you?” she smiled.

The dance was too short for Eiden’s liking, but her heels were pinching her feet and her soles were sore. Steb offered to walk her home, so Eiden accepted his arm and they made the slow journey back to Eiden’s apartment. Part way through the walk, Eiden took off her heels so she could walk freely. Her feet were that of a bird’s. Had she been more sober, she would have perched on Steb’s shoulder or arm, just like they had in the past, but she liked holding onto his arm and leaning on his bicep. He offered to hold her shoes, and let them dangle from his fingers as they walked down the cobbled streets, dimly lit by the lanterns on the street. 

Steb walked Eiden all the way to the door of her apartment. They stopped in front of her door and turned to each other. The way he looked at her actually made her shy. Her feathered ears ruffled and came down over her cheeks. 

“Will you stay?” Eiden murmured, hiding behind her feathers. Steb shrugged. He lowered his head and moved her feathers out of her face. His touch was so tender as he traced her cheek, brushing just below the tiny feathers on her cheeks. He had the gentlest smile on his face. “I’m glad to see you again, too,” she said. 

He entered Eiden’s apartment with her. The door clicked shut behind them and Eiden flicked on the lights. Steb placed Eiden’s shoes in the mess of shoes by the door, shooting her a chastising look as he did. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Eiden said. She sighed and stretched her arms into the air. She grinned at the way his eyes lingered on her back and wings before quickly darting away. “It’s not messy, it’s just organized my way.”

It was a nice apartment. Not nearly as nice as the more expensive apartments in the upper crust of the city, but still nice nonetheless. She had a nice kitchen that still had dirty dishes in the sink and a living room with a couch so plush it welcomed her body with a sigh. The apartment had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was just her in the apartment, but she liked the extra space. 

Steb brought her a glass of water while Eiden laid on the couch. Then, to Eiden’s amusement and endearment, he headed to the sink and started washing her dishes. Eiden watched him as she sipped her water.

How many years had it been since they’d seen each other? Twenty? Fifty? The years all blurred together after a while, but seeing him filled a hole in her she hadn’t even realized was there. No matter how many times it happened, she was always surprised by the way he completed her. 

She finished her water and went to the bathroom. Then she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She sighed and toyed with the buttons of his shirt. 

“How long will you be in Piltover for?” Eiden asked.

Steb shrugged. “What about you?”

Eiden hummed. “However long feels right. If you’re here, I might stay a little longer.” She was untucking his shirt now, but Steb was focused on the dishes. Eiden pouted. “If I wanted you to do my dishes, I would’ve asked you over during the day.”

Steb put the dishes down, wiped his hands with a towel tossed haphazardly on the countertop, and turned around. His smile was amused and exasperated. 

“I have a morning shift tomorrow,” he murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear.  

“We’ll make it quick, I promise.”

He shook his head and cupped her jaw. The tips of his fingers brushed the hair at the back of her head. He leaned in, his smile growing when Eiden stood on her tiptoes to catch his lips. He pulled away, smiling at Eiden’s pout. He ran his thumb across her cheek and rested his forehead against hers.

“Don’t lie.” 

Eiden smiled into the kiss. Still on her tiptoes, she draped her arms over his shoulders, carding her fingers through his hair while she traced the ridge on his neck. He shuddered at her touch, his breath hitching as she drew her finger up and down the ridge. Steb cradled her face as he kissed her slow and deep. His lips curved into a smile as Eiden tucked his shirt and popped the buttons. 

Eiden chased his lips when Steb pulled away again. He shushed and soothed her, pressing featherlight kisses to her cheeks. His hands trailed to her thighs.

“May I?” he murmured. 

“Please.”

His grip was firm on the back of her thighs. Eiden gasped when he hoisted her up with ease, and placed her on the island behind her. Whatever Eiden wanted to say was swallowed up by Steb when he kissed her again.

His kisses were always so deep and intense, like he was worshipping her mouth with his soft lips and tongue. He swallowed every whimper Eiden made and dug his fingers into her thigh when she sucked on his tongue. He slid her dress further up her thigh and groaned against her lips when she pulled at his hair. He hardly gave her a moment to breathe, kissing her until she was trembling and had to tilt her head away to catch her breath. 

Steb dragged his lips to her jaw and down her throat, mouthing at her shoulder and back up to her throat. Eiden slid his shirt off his body until it hit the floor. She pressed down on the ridge that trailed from his tailbone to the top of his neck, and Steb moaned into her skin. His hands roamed to her back, climbing up her skin until he traced the sensitive part of where her wings sprouted from her back. He rubbed underneath her wing and Eiden jolted, gasping and gripping his biceps. 

“Mean,” she breathed. She felt Steb smile against her throat. He kissed back up to her mouth, pressing a sweet, chaste kiss to her lips before pulling back to stare at her.

His pupils were blown and his lips were wet and swollen. Her lipstick was smeared all over him, coloring his lips with a dark red tint. One of his teeth was stained too. Steb raised an eyebrow, ran his tongue across his teeth and cleaned the lipstick away. He dragged his thumb below his lip, slow and tantalizing as he stared at Eiden, and sucked away the lipstick he had smudged on his thumb.

“Open,” he whispered, and Eiden obeyed without a second thought. She opened her mouth and Steb slid his thumb in, watching with rapt attention as Eiden sucked on him, swirled her tongue around him while looking up at him through her long eyelashes. He pressed down on her tongue and his breath hitched when her eyes fluttered. He drew his thumb out and Eiden pressed a kiss to the tip, smiling when he smeared her own saliva across her bottom lip.

Eiden cradled his face, resting her forehead against his. He held her waist, and when they kissed again, he pulled her forward until she was sitting at the very edge of the counter, pressed flush against his torso. He nudged her fingers up to the frills below his eyes. She dragged her thumb across them, and delighted in the way he moaned into her mouth. His lips drifted to her jaw and down to her throat. He mouthed at her pulsepoint and teased under her wing until Eiden was trembling beneath him. She breathed his name and ran her fingers across the frills on his chest and sides, delighting in the way he hissed her name.

“Can I mark you?” Steb murmured against her throat, voice thick and wrought with arousal. He pressed light butterfly kisses to her skin, looking up at her with big eyes. 

“Please…” 

Eiden’s lashes fluttered against her cheeks as Steb sucked a pretty mark onto her neck. He ran his tongue over it and dragged his lips back to hers. His hand had trailed so far up her thigh that he was holding her ass now. He squeezed, digging his fingers into her flesh before touching her tail feathers. She jolted against him, the sensation heading straight to her core. It was difficult to breathe as he played with her. She buried her face into the crook of his neck as her body twisted and twitched, unsure if it wanted more or to get away from his touch. 

“Where’s your bedroom?” he whispered into her ear. 

“That one.” Eiden pointed to the door across the room. In a smooth motion, Steb swept her into his arms, holding her like a bride as he headed towards her room. Eiden laughed, her hands falling naturally onto his shoulders. “Such a prince.” 

Steb smiled and kissed her cheek. He placed her on her bed so gently, making sure her head rested comfortably on the pillows, like she really was his princess. 

The bed creaked with his weight as he crawled up her body. He pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, then her cheek and to her jaw, down her neck and to her shoulder. 

“I like this dress,” he murmured, slipping the thin strap off her shoulder. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” His hands roamed her body, searching for the zipper. Eiden helped guide him to the back of her dress. 

“Then I’ll wear it more for you,” Eiden whispered, arching her back so Steb could unzip her dress. 

“Just for me?”

Eiden’s breathy laugh melted into a sigh once Steb started planting kisses all over her exposed skin. “Don’t want anyone else seeing me in that dress, huh?”

Steb shook his head and slid the fabric off her body. “Tonight was enough.” He kissed her shoulder and then trailed his lips down to her chest. They locked eyes as Steb took her nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the bud. Eiden’s sigh was blissful. Her eyes fluttered shut and she carded her fingers through his hair. 

He flicked her nipple with his tongue and pulled at the other one with his hand. Eiden’s breathing grew more ragged, her body hotter beneath him as she arched her back, pressing her chest further into his mouth. She whispered his name like it was a secret just for the two of them. 

Steb kissed down her body, taking his time to mark her skin while Eiden whined for him to hurry up. Steb looked up at her when she said his name, and smiled at the look on her face. He took her hand into his own and pressed gentle kisses all across her knuckles. Then he kissed her stomach, slow and sweet, and caressed her hip while staring at her with his pretty eyes. 

Eiden’s lip quivered. She turned her head to the side, burying her face into the pillow. “You make me feel like it’s the first time.”

Steb chuckled against her skin and held her hand in his own as he drifted down, down until she could feel his breath against her clothed cunt. Her legs were trembling as she spread them. He pressed a soft kiss to her panties and looked up at her. She nodded, gripping his hand like a lifeline even though this was far from their first time ever having sex, but the way he looked at her, the way he kissed her body so reverently, brought back old shyness. 

He kissed the inside of her thighs, licking and leaving his own private marks that only he would see. The way he kissed her, sucked marks into her skin while running his thumb across her fingers made her thighs tremble. 

When he finally started to kiss her panties, Eiden breathed out a blissful thank you. He made out with her cunt through her panties, ignoring her pleas to take them off because he liked to hear how needy she got. When she was all but choking please and Steb and I want more, he generously pulled her panties to the side. He held them to the side with his thumb. He blew a light puff of air against her clit and the sensation made her flinch. 

“Don’t tease,” Eiden whispered. 

Steb breathed a laugh against her core. He pulled his hand from hers, leaving Eiden to grip the sheets as he used his hand to spread Eiden’s lips apart and lick a fat stripe from her ass to her clit. Eiden gasped, hips rocking against his face. He held her open, his long tongue diving into her entrance and pressing against her walls. Her slick coated his tongue and when he moaned, mouth pressed flush against her, the vibrations went straight to her pussy. Her body twitched each time his lips brushed against her clit as his tongue squirmed inside of her. When the hand holding her open moved up to her clit, fingers circling around it, Eiden’s hips lifted off the bed. 

His thumb flicked her clit in quick motions. Eiden whined, high and needy as her head fell back onto the pillows, chest heaving as Steb ate her out like it was his last meal. He circled her clit, wringing out all sorts of noises from Eiden until all she could do was stammer his name and grip his hair, rocking her hips against his face. He moaned against her pussy, tongue deep inside of her as he circled her clit, and the combined pressure and pleasure had tears building at the edges of Eiden’s eyes. 

She rode his face, rolling her hips until she came with a gasp and a shudder, choking on Steb’s name as he continued to flick and roll her clit beneath his thumb. She gripped his hair, back arched and toes curled as he worked her through her orgasm. When it became too much, her thighs squeezed over his head and she tried to push him away. She whined when Steb finally slid his tongue out of her, leaving her pussy to pulse and squeeze on nothing. Her back was still arched when he pressed a soft, tender kiss to her clit and slid her panties back over her pussy. 

Her eyes fluttered shut, just starting to come down from her high when she felt Steb pull back her panties and release it with a loud snap. Eiden yelped, her clit stinging. She finally looked up at Steb, and he was looking at her with such ravenous lust that her stomach swooped. 

Steb removed her panties in a quick motion, tossing them onto the floor before lowering his head between her legs again. 

“Wh-what are you— oh!” Eiden’s head fell back, legs closing over Steb’s head as he licked her cunt again, swallowing up the slick and cum straight from her pussy. With one hand, he held a firm grip on her waist to keep her on the bed as his lips latched onto her clit. He sucked and flicked his tongue over her clit in rapid motions, drinking her shrieks and moans like he did the slick gushing from her pussy. With his other hand, he slipped two fingers easily into her entrance, giving her something to squeeze on while he sucked and licked at her clit. 

He fingered her as his lips stayed latched onto her clit. She barely felt it when he added another finger, all pressed in to the knuckle. Steb never let up even for a second, his tongue rapidly flicking her clit as he fucked her on his fingers. His grip on her hip was too firm for her to squirm away, even as she writhed in place. 

“S-Steb, Steb, it’s too much, please— please, I—!” Eiden gasped, keening between her teeth as Steb curled his fingers. The heat coiling in her gut was coming to a head. Tears were leaking out of her eyes now, overwhelmed as Steb continued to abuse her clit with his tongue and curl his long fingers inside her.

“C’mon, give me one more,” he muttered against her clit. “One more, you can do it.”

“I-I can’t, it–it’s too much, I can’t— I— Steb! Oh, fuck!” She squeezed her thighs tight over his head, words cutting off in a shriek as she came again. Her vision whited out, back arching as her legs and hips spasmed. Steb moaned against her cunt, drinking the cum straight from her pussy as she rode his face and tongue. From above the mound of her pussy, Eiden saw Steb’s eyes roll back into his head as she came all over his face.

He worked her through it until Eiden begged him to stop. He finally pushed himself up and crawled over Eiden’s body until his face was hovering above hers. His face was debauched. The lower half of his face was soaked, dripping with slick and cum. He had a pretty blue blush on his cheeks and he was panting, pupils blown and frills flaring.

He cupped her face, cradling her cheek with such tenderness that Eiden couldn’t help but melt into his hand. Steb leaned down and pressed a sweet, slow kiss to her lips. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, sliding it all the way to the back of her throat. Steb shuddered when Eiden choked and gagged on his tongue. 

Steb leaned back. He rolled her nipples between his fingers as he asked, “do you still want more?”

“Yes, please,” Eiden whispered. “I want all of you.”

Steb smiled and unbuckled his belt. “So greedy,” he whispered, and Eiden swallowed. “You’re insatiable.”

He tossed his pants aside. There was a dark spot on his boxers, where the tip had spilled precum and stained the fabric. He stripped off his boxers and dropped them on the floor. The gills on his pelvis, fluttering with arousal, had opened to reveal his pretty dick. It was a pretty blue color, the tip purple and leaking with arousal, with frills and ridges on it. 

Steb traced her legs, looking at her with a questioning look. Eiden nodded. It had been so long since they’d seen each other, since they basked in each other’s warmth and love, that Eiden didn’t want to do anything but missionary.

Steb grabbed her legs and spread them apart, resting her ankles on his shoulders. He stroked his dick a few times to spread the precum, and then he was lining up at her entrance. Her pussy throbbed when he brushed against her. He rubbed his dick up and down her dripping folds, and then he was pushing in.

Eiden was so wet and loose from her previous orgasms that Steb was able to push in with ease. He groaned, leaning over her body and burying his face into her neck. Instinctively, she threw one arm over his shoulder and tangled her other hand into his hair. They moaned in tandem when Steb bottomed out, her pussy throbbing and squeezing around him. He was panting heavy against her neck, mouthing at her skin and rolling his hips like he was trying to get even deeper. 

“So good,” Eiden whispered, pressing featherlight kisses to his ears. He shuddered and whimpered against her skin. “Always so good for me.”

“Eiden,” he whispered. Steb rolled his hips, eyes and frills fluttering as he savored the feeling of her pussy. He rested his forehead against hers, a pretty divot between his eyebrows, and kissed her as he made love to her. Every rock of his hips was slow and reverent, like the way he kissed her. He smoothed the feathers on her ears and peppered her feathered cheeks with butterfly kisses. 

They made out as they slowly fucked. Steb whimpered with each movement of his hips, his movements growing stronger and faster. It didn’t take long for Steb to lean his forehead against Eiden’s, moaning and whimpering as he snapped his hips hard and fast, hitting the deepest parts of Eiden’s pussy and carving it open with the ridges of his dick. Eiden felt like her pussy was on fire. Each snap of his hips left her clit throbbing and walls squeezing around him.

“So beautiful,” Steb whispered, his breathing heavy and thrusts growing erratic. “So gorgeous.”

He fucked her until her legs were trembling, toes curling as they slotted their lips together in a sloppy rendition of a kiss. Their kiss was more shared moans and sliding tongues than a real kiss, but it had Eiden clawing marks into Steb’s back anyway. He held her face with one hand, cradling her so tenderly, so gently, as his hand slid down to her swollen clit. Eiden shrieked when he started flicking and rolling it beneath his finger. She writhed in place, but Steb kept her body down with his shoulders pressed into her knees. 

“Feels so good,” he murmured against her lips, drinking in her moans and sobs. The combined pleasure of Steb fucking her while he circled her swollen clit had Eiden crying, gripping Steb like he was her last lifeline. “You’re perfect.”

Eiden’s orgasm rushed through her, sudden and electric, lighting her entire body on fire as her back arched, eyes rolling back in her head and mouth open in a silent scream. Her nails dug into Steb’s skin, her body trembling beneath his as he fucked her through her third orgasm. It was too much. Her entire body felt oversensitive, tingling with the sensation and pleasure of her third release. 

Steb moaned against her skin, whispering about how beautiful she was and how good she felt. He rolled his hips deep into her throbbing pussy, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chased his own orgasm. When he finally came, it was so deep that Eiden swore she could feel it in her stomach. He moaned, frills fluttering euphorically against his cheek as he filled her with so much cum that she could feel it leak out of her and onto the sheets. 

Steb cooed at her, kissing her tears away as he worked himself through his orgasm. Then captured Eiden’s lips in a deep kiss that carried the high for just a little longer. Steb sighed blissfully against her lips. When they pulled away, Steb sprinkled light kisses all over her face; on her forehead, her temples, her cheeks and the corner of her mouth. His hands rubbed her body, soothing her skin. They both groaned when he finally pulled out, and all the cum he pumped into her came spilling out onto the sheets. 

Her body felt like jello. Tingling and weak, her nerves were spent. She didn’t have the energy to speak, so when Steb looked at her with a worried expression, she smiled and signed to him, don’t be sorry. I’m alright.

He stood up, and Eiden watched as he headed to the bathroom connected to the room. He returned with a towel, and he wiped up the pool of cum that had spilled out of Eiden. He set that towel aside, and then went back into the bathroom. This time, he returned with a cloth soaked with warm water. Gently, he ran the cloth across Eiden’s legs, cleaning the mess and warming her body. 

She giggled when he pressed a soft kiss to her temple. 

I’ll get you some water, he signed. Eiden nodded, and he disappeared into the main room. He was quick to return with two glasses of water. He placed them both on the nightstand, and helped Eiden sit up. He rearranged the pillows to make sure she was comfortable, and then sat beside her. He handed her the glass of water, and Eiden downed it. 

She sighed and leaned on his shoulder. Steb sipped at his water, entwining his fingers with hers. Eiden’s energy was slowly coming back to her. 

“I’ve missed you,” she murmured, her voice a little hoarse.

Steb smiled and brought her hand up to his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on her palm, his gaze so tender and adoring. He kissed down her arm and then back up to her palm, smiling at the way Eiden giggled. 

He finished his water and placed both their glasses back on the nightstand. 

Let me massage you, he signed. You’ll be sore in the morning. Eiden smiled, amused and endeared. 

“After cuddles.”

Steb’s smile was just as amused. You never change. Still, he obliged her and settled next to her, pulling Eiden close to his chest. He pressed kisses to her hair, trailing his fingers up and down her back and smoothing the feathers on her wings. Eiden sighed in his embrace, letting herself relax in his arms. 

How she had missed his warmth.

[the-pen-pot]

She was hardly the first potential bride who had arrived at Camelot: chattel on her father's arm to try and tempt the prince – but Merlin had a horrible feeling she might be the last. Uther and the woman's father were deep into negotiations, and as for Arthur...

He did his duty, as was expected of him.

Merlin hated it, and it was Gaius who bore the brunt of his grumbling complaints.

'Lord Arnell has huge stretches of land to the west which would extend Camelot's border by miles. Their wealth would be added to the citadel's coffers. It is a good match.'

'For Camelot, maybe! Not for anyone else. She nearly brought Gwen to tears yesterday. I thought Morgana was going to stab her with a fork. She sneers at the servants whenever she thinks Arthur's not looking. I'm sure I saw her try and kick one of the barn cats. She's awful. If she ends up queen, everyone will leave just to escape her.'

Gaius looked at him over their dinner, his gaze dropping to where Merlin worried the bread to nothing but crumbs beneath his anxious fingers.

'Even you?' That snowy eyebrow lifted as Merlin swallowed hard, trying to imagine it: putting the castle to his back, turning away from destiny...

Leaving Arthur.

'No.' The word escaped him, cracked and brittle and aching. 'No, I suppose not.'

'Fear not, my boy. There are many pitfalls between negotiations and an actual wedding day. Perhaps there'll be no need for your jealousy.'

'My what? I am not jealous!'

Gaius merely smiled at him and returned to his stew. 'Of course not. Now eat your vegetables.'

******

'I've never been so tempted to push someone down a well,' Gwen confessed as they made up the guest beds, switching old sheets for new ones fresh from the laundry. Her lips pursed, and there was a sharpness to her gaze that Merlin knew to heed. Of all of them, Gwen was the first to offer strangers a kindness, but it seemed even her good nature had found its end. 'Lady Felicity. There's nothing felicitous about her!'

He hummed in agreement, stifling a yawn. He'd been awake all night, staring at the cracks in his bedroom ceiling and losing himself in the twist of his thoughts. 

He hated it when Gaius was right.

He was jealous, and not just because Lady Felicity's presence meant that he and Arthur couldn't squabble and banter as they always did. He missed far more than that, like how Arthur would pinch the cuff of his tunic or knock their shoulders together, ruffle his hair or smile at him in that way that made Merlin's heart surge in his chest. He missed the evenings they shared in front of the fire, now lost to feasts in their guests' honour. It would not be better once they were wed, either. Then, day's end would be their time as husband and wife, getting on with the necessary business of heirs.

Merlin's stomach gave a threatening roll, and he cursed himself for letting it come to this. Only he could fall in love with someone so slowly he failed to notice until it was staring him in the face. Only he could lose his heart to a person who could never, ever return his feelings.

Perhaps he could convince himself that Arthur could love him, but he could not believe that the son of Uther Pendragon could love a sorcerer. Arthur knew his secret; he had done for months now. At first, it had been dreadful, all cold looks and bitter recriminations. Merlin had told himself he should be grateful Arthur hadn't chopped his head off and that asking for anything more was expecting too much.

Yet as time went on, they'd managed to work their way back towards friendship. More than that? It seemed impossible. He'd seen how Arthur looked at him sometimes: all creased brows and ill-hidden dread – as if Merlin were some great monster, tame for now, but still deadly.

'Merlin? Are you all right?'

He twitched, surprised to find Gwen at his side. He had not noticed her walk around the bed. Now she watched him with big brown eyes which, he suspected, saw far more than he wanted to give away.

'I'm fine,' he lied, and wished he could make it true.

******

So it went on for weeks, the negotiations, the polite, distant efforts at wooing... Merlin trying to bury his feelings so deep down in himself that he forgot they existed at all. Not that it worked.

The others were worried. He declined trips to the tavern with the knights, too listless to muster a decent excuse. Any smiles he managed to summon felt wobbly on his lips. He picked at his food, so much so that the creases on Gaius' face had deepened dramatically. He attempted to put everyone's mind at rest, but it was almost impossible to speak around the ache that had taken root within his chest. 

He kept trying to pull himself together. Sometimes he'd manage it for an afternoon, but come nightfall, it all rolled over him once more, leaving him hollow. He tried to tell himself that it was hopeless. Even if all this with Lady Felicity came to naught, there would be another. One day, a queen would sit at Arthur's side, and Merlin would have to learn to accept his lot in life. Friendship would be enough; he just needed more time to make himself believe it.

'Do not tell me you like her!'

Merlin stopped at the end of the corridor to the Royal Wing, raising an eyebrow at Morgana's command. She jabbed a finger in Arthur's direction as if she longed to poke his eye out, the two of them facing off in the hallway. Arthur was a vision of studied indifference, but even he had the sense to sway out of range of her fingernails.

'My opinion matters little.'

'Why are you doing this? You've never had a problem dodging suitors before.' Morgana lifted her chin, all bristling challenge. 'Why are you taking this woman seriously when I know someone else has lain claim to your heart?'

Merlin didn't think the ache could get any worse, but with those words, it intensified a hundred-fold. His mind raced, trying to figure out who had caught Arthur's eye. Perhaps he didn't know him as well as he had believed, if he had been pining for someone and Merlin remained oblivious.

'Morgana...' He watched as Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, his shoulders rounded and his back bowed. He looked like a man defeated: one without hope. 'I am not discussing this with you.'

She shook her head and turned away, stopping in surprise when she saw Merlin hovering uncertainly near the top if the stairs. Something sly crossed her face, there and gone again, before she called over her shoulder, 'Fine. Perhaps you'd rather discuss it with Merlin, then.'

Arthur jolted as if he'd been shot with a crossbow bolt, his eyes widening as Merlin offered Morgana a shallow bow. By the time he looked up again, Arthur had reined in his expression, stuffing that sliver of alarm behind a mask of smug arrogance.

'Eavesdropping, Merlin?' he demanded.

'Didn't really have to. It's not like Morgana was making an effort to be quiet.' To his relief, he sounded almost normal. 'I thought I had better get you ready for this feast.'

Arthur sighed, deflating miserably at the prospect before inclining his head and turning towards his chamber door. 'How much of that did you hear?' He gestured along the corridor after Morgana's departed figure.

A good servant would probably have claimed ignorance, but he had never bothered with etiquette and he wasn't about to start now. 'Do you like her?' he asked, letting his question stand in as an answer.

Arthur made sure the door was shut behind them before responding, 'Does anyone? She is rude, entitled and has very little to recommend her except the lands and wealth she would bring to the marriage. I thought her hostility might be down to her attempting to rebel against her father, but it does not seem that she had the wits for it. The only thing going for her are her looks, and they will not last forever.'

'Nor will yours.'

'At least I have a brain to compensate.'

'Do you? Where are you keeping it, under the bed?' He laughed as he dodged Arthur's half-hearted swipe in his direction, his heart lifting from the hollow in his chest. For one, brief moment, he thought it might be all right – maybe he would survive this after all. Then the rest of Morgana's words came back to him, and he felt how his own expression wobbled on his face.

Hastily, he turned towards the wardrobe, retrieving Arthur's finery from its clutches. He'd had the good sense to check it that morning, making sure there were no stains or tears that needed his attention. Now, the velvet whispered its accusations against his fingertips.

He heard the splash of water in the basin as Arthur washed his face and hands. It was a comforting, normal noise, and Merlin busied himself arranging suitable garments atop the changing screen. He would be better off holding his silence, for once, but he'd never had much luck with that. A demand hovered on the tip of his tongue, something that urged him to ask who it was that Arthur loved, but he choked it back.

'Morgana's right.'

'Never say that to me again,' Arthur retorted, his voice flat as he poked his head around the screen to glare in Merlin's direction. Yet even as he spoke, his expression slipped into grudging agreement. 'Lady Felicity is a good match, as far as such things go. She would bring a lot to Camelot.'

'And make everyone miserable in the process. A queen should be loved, shouldn't she? Or at least respected by her people and her king. No one is going to even try and like her when it's obvious you feel nothing for her…' He trailed off, swallowing hard. 'You shouldn't do this just because it's what your father wants.' He ducked around the changing screen, reaching out to help Arthur into a fine white tunic. It clung to his shoulders and skimmed his hips, strikingly pale in contrast to the luxurious dark trousers that clad his legs.  'Especially not if your feelings lie elsewhere.'

It felt like a stupid, daring thing to say, sending a shiver of unease rushing down Merlin's thighs. A part of him wanted to run away. The Lady Felicity was bad enough, but at least he had the consolation that Arthur seemed to hate her as much as everyone else. Now there was this other person, unseen and unknown but important to Arthur all the same.

He concentrated on tying the tunic's laces, watching the gold-encased tips of the string as if mastering a knot was the most challenging task in the world. He worried that if he looked up, Arthur would see every emotion written across his face, and it would be the last wedge between them to drive them apart for good.

'I wish it were that simple.' Arthur's fingers on the back of Merlin's hands brought a halt to his fretting with the laces before he could tangle them irretrievably.

He frowned at that, tilting his head as he tried to puzzle through those words. What did that mean? Arthur spoke as if there was more standing in his way than a potential marriage to Lady Felicity. Was the one he loved somehow unsuitable?

 'You've never shied from a challenge before,' he managed at last, retreating to let Arthur tuck his tunic into his waistband even as he reached for the jacket. It was a bold, dark burgundy, almost black in certain lights. It made him look both resplendent and dangerous, not that Lady Felicity would appreciate it.

'I should be putting the needs of my kingdom before my own desires. That is what a good prince does.' He sounded as if it were a mantra he'd repeated often over these past few weeks, and Merlin finally found the courage to shoot him a scathing look.

'No, a good prince realises that what he feels, his kingdom will feel. If you are unhappy with your wife, Camelot will be worse for it. Whoever rules at your side one day should support you, not seek every opportunity to make your life miserable.' He pulled the jacket onto Arthur's shoulders, checking that it lay smooth across his back, the skim of his hand steady and sure. He tried to tell himself that it was part of his job, but Merlin couldn't help but enjoy the fleeting, guilty touch.

With a sharp inhale, he retreated, reaching desperately for something to say: a way to remind his own, stupid heart that this was an impossible situation. 'I could turn her into a frog if it would make things easier?'

'Don't you dare.' Not even a trace of mirth gathered in Arthur's face, and Merlin winced as he gripped his wrist, tight and desperate. 'No magic, Merlin. Promise me.'

'I – yes, Sire.' He swallowed hard, pulling his arm free and stepping back, pretending to ignore the familiar look of dread and horror on Arthur's features. He appeared as if the very idea repulsed him, no matter how much Felicity deserved it.

He had only meant it as a joke, but clearly Arthur didn't see the humour. 

'We should go. The feast...'

Arthur led and Merlin followed, trying to ignore the heavy, bitter ache of his own heart.

******

Lady Felicity and her father left Camelot three days later, much to everyone's collective relief. Merlin watched them depart from Arthur's chamber window, his shoulder propped against the castle's stonework as their horses carried them out of sight. Rumour was rife, but no one had any real answers. All anyone knew was that the King's enthusiasm had noticeably cooled and that any talks had fallen apart not long after.

He should be relieved. Instead, he could only think about Arthur and the mysterious person who had won his heart, whoever they may be. Someone who made matters "not that simple", apparently. That could mean anything, but when Arthur wanted something, he usually went after it without hesitation and damned the consequences. The fact that he hesitated now...

Merlin sighed and shook his head, resuming his chores in his usual, haphazard way. It was no good dwelling on it. He'd been content, once, with the promise of Arthur's friendship, and he could be again. He could look on, benevolent and happy, as Arthur loved someone else. In the end what other choice was there? He'd already decided he could never leave, not even if Lady Felicity had been the one Arthur wed. He just needed time, that was all: space to pack away all his feelings once more and remember life before he'd looked them full in the face.

The creak of the door made him look up to see Arthur step over the threshold, already unbuttoning his jacket so he could cast it aside. The warm fire chased off the chill of a blustery day, and Arthur moved to stand near it, stretching his hands out towards the flames. He had been down on the castle steps to bid their guests farewell, bestowing upon them all the grace of Camelot hospitality. Now, that handsome face seemed relaxed and soft: relieved.

He could hold his tongue, Merlin knew that. He could enjoy the peace while it lasted, but he'd never been good at following his own better judgement. Instead, he painted a tone of studied indifference over his words as he asked, 'So, will you pursue them, then? Whoever it is who has caught your eye?'

'Merlin...'

'Now that Lady Felicity is no longer a problem and you're not torturing yourself with the idea of duty.'

'Merlin!' Arthur sighed, pressing his fingertips to his brow as if fighting off the sudden bloom of a headache. 'I've told you before: it's not that –'

'"Simple". What does that even mean? Is it just that your father wouldn't approve? He doesn't need to know. He hasn't, in the past.' Arthur did not indulge in dalliances often, but when he did, with ladies or the occasional, visiting knight, discretion was always his primary concern.

The noise that escaped Arthur was a ragged, mirthless scoff. 'To say my father would disapprove is an understatement, and it's not just that. What could I offer them? A secret relationship? One that we would have to hide from a gossiping court? One where I could not make any promises, not until the throne was mine and even then...?' Arthur trailed off. 'No. I – no. I respect them too much to ask that of them.'

Merlin pursed his lips, frowning into the depths of the wardrobe as he hung up the clean washing. He could say nothing, agree with Arthur's assessment and leave it at that. Maybe if he liked Arthur just a little less, he would, but he hated seeing him like this: grim and pale as he faced down what he believed to be the impossible. Besides, that wasn't Arthur talking about a quick tumble. That was him considering the future: someone else in the place that Lady Felicity had coveted.

He was thinking of forever, or at least the hope of it, and deciding it was something he could not have.

'Isn't it up to them, as well as you?' He fiddled with the seam of the tunic in his hands. 'You don't know the lengths someone will go to for you unless you ask. If they cared for you, I think they would understand.' If they didn't then they weren't worth his time, Merlin thought uncharitably. 'They should at least get the chance to make the choice, shouldn't they?'

His words appeared to be the wrong thing to say. Arthur's pallor only intensified. He turned away from the fire, moving towards the window. 'That would involve informing them how I feel, and – I –' He stuttered to a halt, which was unusual enough, and Merlin's heart wrenched miserably.

He had never seen Arthur like this. Clearly, whoever he was enamoured with was more than just a passing fancy. He had hoped that maybe Morgana had been mistaken about the depths of Arthur's sentiment, but she obviously knew what she was talking about. She had seen something that Merlin himself had overlooked, and he felt even more a fool.

'I do not think that they love me in turn. I'm not sure that they ever could, and any confession may well push them away from me forever.' He shook his head, his hands clenching into fists where they hung at his side. 'No, it's better this way. Perhap once I take the throne – once I have the power to prove to them the kind of man I am... But not before.'

With a soft sigh, Merlin set aside the washing and drifted across the room. If Arthur did not appear so genuinely broken up about this, he would let it slide, but he could not. He'd been the occasional voice of reason for far too long. He was not about to stop, even if it broke his heart to advocate for another when he wished he could claim Arthur's love for himself.

'That could be years, and if they are unaware of what you offer, they will not know to wait for you. They could find someone else, or leave the citadel. Something could happen to them...' Merlin flinched, because now Arthur looked positively sick.

'Stop.'

The plea was quiet but heartfelt, and Merlin claimed his silence anew, at a loss for how to make any of this better. It didn't help that his own feelings had become a churning mess, aching and grieving, envious and pained. He wanted to hate this nameless, faceless beneficiary of Arthur's admiration and respect, but he could not muster the energy for spite. Instead, he merely felt stupid and defeated, because he had thought he'd known Arthur better than anyone and it turned out he was completely clueless.

'Will you at least tell me who it is?'

Arthur looked up at him, his lips pink and parted as something unknowable shadowed his gaze. For a moment, Merlin hoped perhaps he had made some sort of breakthrough – that Arthur would confide in him again, as he had done before the secret of his magic came spilling out. Yet the brief flutter of his hope was short-lived. A jerk of his head snuffed it out, and Arthur's reply closed the door on the conversation.

'Just leave it, Merlin. It doesn't matter now.'

******

He couldn't leave it. Arthur's words were like a scab in his mind. He kept picking at them, turning them this way and that to try and find a place where they all fell apart and started to make sense. Perhaps, if Arthur had reclaimed his usual prattishness, he would have managed to set it to one side, but it was obvious to anyone with eyes that something weighty trouble Camelot's prince.

The stormy anger of autumn bled into the solemn chill of winter. Ice frosted the windowpanes and grim sleet made the world an inhospitable place. It drove the knights from the training ground, and they conducted their drills in the great hall instead, their swords chiming like clarion bells. Arthur, in particular, threw himself into the activity as if he were doing battle with his inner demons each time. The knights met him, men of equal in force and fervour, letting him expend his energy upon them until they were bruised and aching from the effort.

'Fix him?' Gwaine begged, his hand heavy on Merlin's shoulder. He gave him a gentle shake, his eyes huge and imploring. 'Before he breaks us?'

Merlin managed a faint snort at that, shaking his head in disbelief. He was propped against the wall, trying to ignore how the cold seeped through the stone and made its nests in his bones. He felt no warmer than something found in a crypt: entombed and wretched. Even Gwaine's usual dramatics didn't do much to raise a smile, and it did not pass beneath his friend's notice. 

'Maybe you can fix yourself while you're at it. You've not had a fight, have you? The pair of you?'

'No, nothing like that.'

Gwaine grunted, casting Arthur a narrow-eyed glare across the room. Not that he noticed. He was too busy battling Percival, harrying the larger man with the silver sweep and spark of his blade. 'He's been out of sorts for weeks, and you've not been much better.' He slung an arm around Merlin's shoulder, giving him a quick shake before curling him into a clumsy embrace that smelled of sweat and chainmail.

'Gwaine!' Arthur's command was more a snarling snap than anything else, all clenched jaw and bared teeth. 'I don't recall giving you leave to stop training.'

Gwaine sighed, casting Merlin a look and lifting one eyebrow meaningfully. 'See what I mean? He'll be the death of me.'

Merlin managed a little twist of a grin, shoving him playfully back towards where the knights worked in their pairs. Gwaine had only been joking, but it wasn't like Merlin had failed to notice how hard Arthur pushed himself these days. Even now, his efforts only seemed to redouble as if something drove him ever onwards, chasing at his heels and offering him no peace or rest.

That would not do. What had happened with Lady Felicity had clearly been a catalyst, taking Arthur's equanimity and stirring it into something he struggled against, day and night. Merlin had done as he asked and held his silence for several weeks, but it only seemed to make matters worse.

He had been selfish, Merlin thought grimly. Arthur's insistence that he dropped the matter of whoever had won his heart had come as a relief. It let him live in this frozen moment, one where his desperate hopes had not been crushed brutally underfoot. It was nothing more than a fantasy, and it did neither of them any good. Arthur could not carry on as he was, and Merlin? He could not keep fooling himself that his own feelings ever stood a chance of being requited.

With a sigh, he tipped his head back against the wall, staring up at the distant rafters as he resolved to set his own heart aside. It was what he should have done, right at the start. Now?

Now he had to hope it was not too late to make Arthur see sense.

******

The fire crackled in the hearth in Arthur's room, adding its glow to the candlelight. A thick, winter's night had settled beyond the windowpanes, and the wind howled around the turrets, making its voice heard. The wreckage of dinner lay upon the table, and Arthur sat in the fur-shrouded chair in front of the hearth, a cup of wine dangling from his hand and his gaze fixed on the flames in the grate.

Merlin busied himself with his usual chores, trying to find the words to broach the subject. He stacked dishes and left them outside the door, promising himself that he would take them down to the kitchen later. Tidying Arthur's desk, he skimmed the documents on its surface, but they offered him little in the way of inspiration. In the end, before he could decide on an angle of attack, Arthur shifted in his seat, stirring himself from his thoughts and asking a question of his own.

'Is it Gwaine?'

'Is – what?' Merlin blinked. He'd frozen like a deer in the hunter's sights, unsettled by the shadows that gathered in Arthur's eyes and grappling to understand the thread of the conversation.

'You've been miserable for weeks. Normally, I can't make you shut up, but these days you barely string two words together. You don't laugh, either. You don't wake me up with ridiculous, trite, chirpy nonsense.' Arthur pursed his lips tight, jerking his head to the side as if to dismiss his own little tirade. 'Guinevere thinks you're heartsick. Is it for Gwaine?'

Merlin blinked. He had not realised that his own behaviour had been so obvious or that Arthur could be so observant. Gwen was no surprise; she could read people with ease. Of course, she'd taken one look at him and decided he was pining. He hated that she was right. The fact that she'd discussed it with Arthur? He did not know what to do with that information.

'Gwaine's a friend. A good one.' He felt like he was fishing the words out of himself, dredging them up for Arthur's approval. 'He flirts with everyone. You know that.'

He wasn't sure what he expected, but it wasn't the tight, anxious way Arthur pursed his lips or the frown that puckered his brow: something twitching and wretched that he quickly tried to hide behind an impassive mask. 'But you are heartsick?'

It was unlike Arthur to talk about emotions. He normally avoided sentiment, couching any affection in horseplay and banter. He was certainly not the type to bother with a heart-to-heart. Yet here he was, making an effort for Merlin's sake because despite everything – his arrogance and his pride – Arthur was a good man. A good friend.

Why couldn't that be enough?

'It doesn't matter,' Merlin managed, clearing his throat and shaking his head. 'I'll survive, which is more than I can say for the knights if you keep thrashing them in training. Elyan's not walked right all week after what you did to his knee, and Leon's started to flinch every time you pick up a sword.' He hesitated, moving around the front of Arthur's desk before leaning back against it, curling his fingers over its edge. 

'They are warriors,' Arthur pointed out. 'They can take it.'

'But maybe they shouldn't have to? You've been like it ever since Lady Felicity left. Since I assume you're not pining for her –?' He smirked when Arthur shot him a dark look. 'Then I guess it's over whoever Morgana was talking about.'

'Merlin... Please.'

That was what did it. Not his name, spoken in such a low defeated tone, but the "please" that followed. That, more than anything, told Merlin that he could not leave it alone, no matter how much Arthur begged for his silence. He'd already surrendered once and look at the result: Arthur lost and hurting, punishing his knights even as he punished himself for wanting someone so fiercely and, in his head at least, so helplessly.

'What if they said yes?'

'What?'

'The person, whoever it is. What if you're wrong? What if you miss out on a relationship with them just because you were too afraid to speak up?'

'Are you calling me a coward?' Arthur demanded, incredulous. His empty goblet hung from his fingertips, tilting in a mimicry of his disbelief.

'Would that work?'

'No!' 

Arthur sighed, setting the cup down and rising to his feet. He turned his back to Merlin, bracing his arm on the chimney breast. For a long time, there was a prickling, brooding sort of silence, and when he spoke, it was directed at the hearthstone like a confession. 'I would fight for them. If they said that they felt the same way, I would upend all of Camelot to make them happy. I would weather any storm, but...' He trailed off with a shake of his head.

'But you're afraid to ask them, because you think they'll say no.'

'I'm not afraid,' Arthur retorted, glancing over his shoulder. 'Not for myself, anyway.' He looked Merlin up and down, something sharp honing his gaze. 'All this advice you offer me, but you don't take it for yourself? What's stopping you from pursuing the one you want?'

It was a pathetic attempt at deflection. Merlin wasn't even going to credit it with an answer. 'This isn't about me.'

Arthur turned back to the fire, and his next words were nothing more than a whisper, so quiet that Merlin almost believed he imagined them.

'Yes, it is.'

He froze, his hands tightening reflexively around the edge of the desk. The polished wood offered him no splinters, which was a small blessing. He was not sure he would notice the pain if it had. His mind was too busy racing, shaking off its frantic, fruitless whirl of self-pity and plunging forward into the bright light of desperate, breathless hope.

Perhaps he was never meant to hear those three words, spoken as softly as a confession could be. Maybe they had simply slipped out of Arthur, impossible to suppress, but now that they had been uttered, Merlin could not let them pass unnoticed.

'What does that mean?' He swallowed, pushing himself away from the desk and taking one shaky step forwards. A thousand questions tangled in his throat like a briar, and his next breath was an unsteady shudder in his chest, torn between elation and the soul-deep fear that he'd heard him wrong or somehow misunderstood.

He did not think he had ever seen Arthur look so pale, the colour seeping from his face as he realised his murmur had reached Merlin's ears. He glanced towards the door as if, for the first time in his life, he was contemplating running. Yet it seemed he mastered the urge. Instead, he lifted his chin, folding his arms across his chest.

'Nothing. It doesn't matter,' he rasped, tearing his eyes away as Merlin took another step closer. 'Forget I said anything.'

Merlin managed a slow shake of his head. He kept remembering what Arthur had said back when Lady Felicity made her departure, going over those words again and again, but now it was as if he heard them for the first time. Arthur had not merely mentioned that he feared that they did not feel the same way; he spoke as if it was an impossibility – almost unthinkable. He talked of taking the throne, of having the power to make change, and now Merlin couldn't think of anything else. 

'No.'

He had told Arthur, when Lady Felicity put Camelot to her back, that he should confess his love for whoever it was who had stolen his heart, regardless of his doubts or the troubles they may face. He'd given that advice to Arthur as his own chest ached and squeezed, but he'd not thought to take heed of it himself. He had written it off as impossible because he'd believed that Arthur loved another.

But what if he had been talking about Merlin all along? What if they'd both been stupidly pining away, craving each other and never realising that everything they wanted was within arm's reach?

And all either of them had to do was ask for it.

'Arthur... Why do you think they couldn't love you?' He swallowed hard, snatching in a sharp, startled gasp before forcing himself to press on, terrified that he had misunderstood but so very desperate to believe he'd got it right. 'Why do you think I couldn't love you?'

It was as if someone had cut Arthur off at the knees. He visibly sagged, reaching out to steady himself. Every last scrap of his mask fell away, revealing the turmoil beneath: the ebb of his choking despair and the rising tide of his wretched hope. He looked at Merlin as if he could barely believe what he had said. His response was a long time coming, and when it did, it was a wreck of misery.

'Because you have magic, and I stood by as my father slaughtered people like you. I helped. You were so convinced that I would send you to the headsman that you hid what you were from me for years – and I cannot blame you. If our positions were reversed, I don't think I would have done anything differently.' He bowed his head, speaking to the flagstones beneath his feet. 'I consider myself deeply fortunate that you're forgiving enough to call me a friend. To think you ever might feel anything stronger...' He pursed his lips, cutting himself off. 

'You prat,' Merlin breathed, trying not to shake. He felt like he'd been holding back this great, heaving tide of emotion, and now the dam had broken. Except rather than leaving devastation in its wake, the rising waters restored everything to life. A world that had turned drab and dreary filled with colour once more, and his next gasp of air felt as if it might actually sustain him. 'What about me? How do you think I felt, looking at you and knowing that you couldn't possibly love someone you've been taught to despise?'

Arthur was already shaking his head, jolting forward to reach out. His fingers plucked at Merlin's sleeves and hooked over his shoulders, cradling him as if he were something precious. 'No. No, that's – I don't hate anything about you.'

'You look sick every time I mention my magic.' That was the thorn that still struck him to the quick: the one niggling doubt that would not give him a moment's peace.

'No.' Arthur crowded closer, hesitantly reaching up to cup Merlin's jaw. 'No, that's not why. It's not because of what you can do, but because of what would happen to you if you were ever discovered. It's not safe. It won't be, not until my father's reign has reached its end. I thought that, once I was king, I could prove to you that those times are over. I could make Camelot safe for you again: your home, truly.'

'It already is my home,' Merlin managed, though he could barely hear his own voice over the thud of his pulse in his ears. He had assumed that getting Arthur to return magic once the crown was on his brow would be the work of years. He had been prepared to spend time and allow compromise – to show him, piece by piece, how magic was integral to the world, both the good and the bad. Instead, Arthur stood before him, promising him everything.

'How can you think that, when every moment your life is at risk simply because you exist?' Arthur's fingers flexed against Merlin's cheek as if he were savouring the feel of his skin and heat even as he considered pulling away.

'Because it's where everyone I care about lives. My friends, Gaius and you. It's more "home" than I've ever known, Arthur, because of the people who share it with me.'

He tangled his fingers in Arthur's tunic, twisting the fabric so that he could not make his retreat. He could see it in his eyes, that accursed nobility that suggested he would try and turn his back on this for Merlin's own good. He wasn't about to let Arthur destroy this before it had begun in the name of Merlin's safety.

'Don't get me wrong,' he managed. 'You absolutely should allow magic's return when you take the throne, but don't do it for me. Do it for your kingdom, and for yourself, and for everyone else who suffers its loss.'

A frail smile curled Arthur's lips, and the look he gave Merlin was both fond and a touch baffled, as if he couldn't understand how Merlin's mind worked, sometimes. Yet it faded a moment later, dimming even as the silence between them grew.

'When I found out about your magic, I knew I should have been furious. I was, on the surface at least, but underneath that? I've never been so scared. Not of your power, but of the very thought that I might lose you.' Arthur's voice was little more than a strangled whisper spilling from his lips. 'That my father might catch you, or that you would choose one day to walk away and live the life you deserved… That you looked at me and saw nothing more than an enemy.'

'Arthur…' Merlin swallowed, trying to think, trying to breathe – trying to find the right thing to say that would make Arthur see how wrong he was. They hovered on the cusp of something, and maybe it would not be easy. Perhaps they would have to fight for it every step of the way, but a life at Arthur's side and in his arms would be more than worth it.

'I love you, you idiot.' It escaped him in a rush, and he rushed on before Arthur could do more than blink at him. 'It's you I'm heartsick over, because first there was Felicity and then someone else – someone I didn't know and you'd never mentioned, and I hated it. Hated them, because I would rather see you happy even if it meant I never got to have you and –'

Arthur's fingers brushed against his lips, soft and hypnotised, stemming the spill of his words and beckoning him back to silence. His touch felt like a brand, and delicate tremors raced through Merlin's body as if Arthur were stirring him to life.

'You love me?'

Merlin's heart shivered with joy. He could hear Arthur's disbelieving hope, as if he had thought the world was fixed and certain, only to find some new facet within it, shocking and vivid.

He suspected that Arthur's upbringing had been harsh and devoid of affection – that he had been taught that sentiment was a sign of weakness. And yet in this, just like the magic, Arthur was struggling to overcome what he had learned at his father's knee. He was fighting to be the good man Merlin believed him to be and the best king that Camelot would ever have upon its throne.

He leaned forward, pressing their brows together so that Arthur could see the truth of his response in his gaze. His answer was a whisper brushed against Arthur's lips: tremulous and fragile but growing with strength at every moment.

'I do.'

Arthur's sandy lashes fluttered as if he were absorbing Merlin's confession, folding it away next to his heart. It was like watching him come back to life – a wound healed – and golden wings of elation rushed through Merlin's frame as Arthur's response whispered against his lips: a beautiful benediction.

'I love you too.'

The kiss was soft and thrilling, shy and daring in equal measure. It felt like both the start and end of something, and Merlin was happy to take that step. He'd spent so long thinking that Arthur would be lost to him. To realise that, instead, Arthur's heart had been his all along?

It was almost too good to be true.

And there, in Arthur's warm chambers, the love that had been flourishing between them took firm root. Nothing would tear it asunder, nor shake the foundations of the kingdom that they would build together when the time came. They had each other, heart and soul.

That would never change.

[sufferu]

Y'know re zero reminds a lot of umineko and higurashi. Stories where the protags are dying and resetting over and over again to fight against fate. For a chance that is "infinitely close to zero"(yes literal quote---thats how unlikely victory was) or that one dude from toaru that died 100 billion times, resetting through horrific worlds.

What do they have in common? The protags save/forgive/pity their torturers. WHDAA cast has every right to beat some sense into Subaru damn. I get the whole "understanding the heart of others" theme. I love it, but like--there should be a line somewhere that got lost in the corpses of previous loops. Especially, since most of the time they are redeemed because they have a tragic backstory. Like "ofc I forgive you for torturing me for 100 years because your parents are dead"

Penny for your thoughts?

God I need to watch Higurashi. Too bad I cant FIND THE DAMN SERIES ANYWHERE— also I’ve heard of Umineko but I have no idea what it is lol. Maybe I’ll check it out. Same with A Certain Magical Index.

And — honestly, to an extent I agree with you lol, cause even if I haven’t watched any of those series I am very familiar with the “all is forgiven” trope that tends to happen in anime a lot. I think it often tends to feel a little unbalanced, ESPECIALLY if the perpetrator is some sort of waifu character. Like — okay, there’s this anime that came out a few years ago called Ranking of Kings that I actually really liked for the most part, except the way they handled the main villain (a woman named Miranjo) was just BAFFLING. She did all this horrible stuff in the first half, but then the second half was basically just — everyone bending over backwards to excuse/forgive her simply because…that’s what the author wanted to happen. And the thing is? I was one of like five viewers (judging by those comments :/) who would actually have totally been on board with her redemption if they hadn’t done that. I thought she was a fascinating character, possibly my favorite in the series, and I even saw the potential for her becoming a better person if they were to go that route. But then they hammered it in SO MUCH because the author wanted the audience to like her SO BADLY that — it just RUINED her.

That’s what I think the problem often is: the hand of the author becomes too obvious, and as their actions get excused by the narrative practically bending over backwards to get the audience to like the characters, the characters get flattened down and all their edges sanded off. To be entirely honest it’s the main issue I have with how Rem is often portrayed in this fanbase, because — a really large subset of fans seems to have looked at that HOT MESS of a person and decided that taking her “perfect waifu” facade at face value was the more appealing option, lol.

—It totally makes sense for Subaru, though. As a character this is, it makes SOO much sense that he’s like this. And…I’m actually holding out hope that it’s gonna be addressed as an issue in-universe at some point, due to 1) some very choice descriptors on his part of all those horrible things being “good memories” that are VERY worrying and 2) post-amnesia!Rem very explicitly ending up in antagonistic role to her old self regarding how they each want Subaru to develop going forward.

As for my own react fic…yeah. Rem is. Rem is gonna be in some SERIOUS hot water. If I may: I think that a lot of react fics tend to gloss over her behavior a little too much for my liking, due to her being a popular character (or even a favorite of the author lol) and as such the fic goes out of its way to make sure that the conversation leads to everyone forgiving her one way or another. …I, personally, do not plan on pulling my punches one single bit.

;)

[kurosstuff]

So I was thinking lute x fem reader demon and angel BUT it's an actor au. So lute obviously hates demons but outside of shooting the show she's so in love with the reader, I only got that far but I thought it was a good idea and you're an amazing writer

Thank you dearie♡♡ IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME♡♡♡

Honestly- this? Is an amazing idea I love the whole Actor Aus

ALSO- when you said reader is demon and angel(unless I COMPLETELY read that wrong-??( I made them a fallen angel. Short I wrote this half asleep ima pass out now

Warning(s): fighting, au- so Lute acts not like her self? Idk SLIGHT sexual talk(leads to mire but it cuts off(

Lute x f!fallen angel! Reader: actor au

Lute snarled, glaring down at you. Her weapon drawn "a vile pathetic demon. On their knees begging me an angel for forgiveness? To surive an exectuoner?" Snarling, watching your gold blood pool around you. The gashes on your body-

"fuck you" you spat spitting your blood and spit at her making her sneer kicking you roughly ensuring you felt every hit fully- not holding anything back

"Some angel you turned out to be Y/N no wonder you fell. Can't even hold your tongue, can you?" snarling out, stepping closer, stabbing the spear in your food, smirking at the sick crunch it made. The scream you let out humming "Shall I stitch your mouth shut? Cut your tongue out?" her mask mimicking her mocking smirk at her prey- your sobbing self. "Let's see if you'll survive this time, no?" ripping the spear out about to strike before.

A whistle went off- making you sigh, "and scene! Take a break, everyone!" The director spoke out as the cameras shifted to a halt- stretching the pain in your side aching

"Oh god im- I'm so sorry" quickly realizing what was happening once you finally refocused, you smiled softly at your girlfriend- similar to her onscreen persona yet-

So different

"Lute~, my love~" you interrupted her with a soft hum standing up, holding her hands gently "its ok-! Look at me? I'm ok - yeah - sure you did actually hit me, but made the scene even more believable~" you hummed gently cupping her face kissing her snickering at the gag you heard beside you

"Their sucking faces again, boss!" Adam sneered teasingly, taking the plastic knife out of his back "Hey wha- NIFTY- you already stabbed me! Why keep putting it on!" He groaned, smirking chasing after the short woman who? Sped off laughing loudly about.. something you weren't to sure what she mumbled just like her show persona- only difference is she has two eyes.

As If she truly was made for the role.

"Dear but I hurt you!" Your attention grabbed from the woman in your arms you hummed letting her drag you to your shared dressing room as she rambled apologies upon apologies as she did everyrime your characters saw each other on stage

"Lute"

"God i- I'm a horrible girlfriend! Look! Your bruising!"

"Lute~?' You cut off her ramblings, pulling her onto your lap- such a surpise a cold woman in the show was just as cold bur a total softy with you- made you feel more special. "I'm ok. Remember~ baby~? It's acting. If I hit you would you be mad~?"

"No" she grumbled, flushed holding you close to her with a sigh "I'd forgive you. Time and time again no matter what.' She confessed with a deep sigh kissing you gently covering your face in kisses apologizing physically "Tell you what~? I'll give cuddles and kisses as an apology ~ for hurting you?"

And not even a second goes by before you gasp looking at her. "Oh! God, that hurts my leg! I need kisses, state doctor!" Making her laugh easily carying you to the bed for just that kissing you all over yet again smirking happily laying beside you

"Did you know were shipped- like uh- our characters in the show?" She hummed, wrapping an arm around your waist, nuzzling up to you happily "pretty interesting huh~ says theres.. so much sexual tension~"

"There is" you spoke bluntly smirking at her confused face "there was a scene. Of us arguing and you pinned me to the wall. You kept glancing at my lips a very heated look on your face, but the director kept it in~" snickering at hee flushed face humming "but same here~ god did I wanna kiss you so bad- that adorable scowl you do-"

Scoffing, she playfully glared up at you before she smirked straddling your waist "suppose you want more kisses then~? Tempted to kiss you here and now~ keep you in my arms in our dressing room bed~' cooing softly you held her waist

"Oh~? Then do something about it~"

-

"Lute. You just HAD to mark me up?" You whined following your lover close as she smirked smug proudly showing off her own markings you left "Lute! Nows not the time ti be showing off! You got us temporarily banned from being in our dressing rooms alone!"

Shrugging, she hummed, glancing over at you "Then I get you at home~ easy. It was more then worth it I dear~ now come on~ I wanna go home and..cuddle some more ~" snickering at the flustered look on your face.

You can only imagine the lecture you'll both get for leaving so soon. Bur you'll handle that later.

[dangermousie]

I saw a post where you analyzed some details in Flower of Evil (particularly the relationship between the lead couple) and your analysis was super interesting.

I dropped that drama ages ago somewhere in the second episode because it just felt like things had already gone so horribly wrong that there was no possible way that it could be brought back to a story that I'd enjoy. I was wondering if you might be able to explain how that isn't the case so I should give it another chance, ideally without spoiling anything too huge? Or do you think my first instinct was right? If I couldn't stomach the first two episodes it probably just isn't the drama for me? My original interest in watching it was for the romance more than anything else.

I would love to analyze (always game for FoE freakouts) and address the issue but I think I could do it better if you clarified a little what you mean by "it just felt like things had already gone so horribly wrong that there was no possible way that it could be brought back to a story that I'd enjoy."

Is it a worry that there would be no happy ending (and one that feels earned/logical not tacked on) for the couple and/or ML (or FL), or that the progression of the relationship would not be anything you like or not given sufficient importance? Or something else?

If it's the former, while I can't say whether you'd like it or not because it's very hard to predict what clicks and doesn't for another person (I have like two mutuals where I automatically know if they like X, I am guaranteed to do so) but I can answer that:

(a) This drama has a happy ending that felt right and justified and not tacked on for me - in terms of both characters individually and the ship. They both go through hell but emerge into sunshine on the other side; by the end of it, Hyun Soo knows exactly how much he's both known and loved by Ji Won (and it's huge for a man who believed on a deep level nobody could possibly love someone like him nor should they) but also he's accepted that he himself is not a monster but is capable of love. And Ji Won loves her husband as much as she did at the start and has proven exactly how much and this time it's based on true knowledge of all of him - because before that she loved him for what he was (his characteristics were all true even if his background was not) but now she knows exactly the traumas and events that shaped him and the issues that haunted him and...she still sees the slightly odd, quite introverted, very caring man she fell in love with. It's a process, she thinks things through and it takes her time to get there, it is not linear but it is so thorough and glorious. She basically goes with her whole behavior: I see you fully and I know you fully and because of that sight and knowledge I love you MORE. And he processes that but also, in an even huger emotional shift, he realizes that he loves HER, that he's always loved her, he just had no vocabulary for it and no ability to process that this is what he felt due to all the trauma and gaslighting and what not.

(b) This is a romance drama. Oh, it has a good plot with its share of mysteries and mini-mysteries, and it's a great character study and has a lot of other interesting things to say. But ultimately, it's a romance. It is centered not really on the mystery of who Do Hyun Soo actually is, or who was/is committing various murders, or when Ji Won would figure stuff out or w/e - it focuses on a relationship between husband and wife who desperately love one another. This drama had an INSANE fixation with shots of their wedding rings and it was for a reason because this is the story of their marriage more than it is anything else.

It actually features a trope that is very much my catnip and narratives (outside of Gong Xinwen novels) don't do often enough - where the woman is the rescuer and the white knight and the savior and the man is this beautiful, oddly fragile (despite being competent and potentially deadly) being in need of rescue. And I don't mean just in the metaphorical sense - she is the reason DHS still has his sanity and found happiness and healing - nah she rescues him in the most physical way possible, from drowning, from various other acts of harm. In a way, Ji Won and Hyun Soo are a noir couple with genders reversed - a tough pragmatic detective and an alluring romantic partner with a mysterious past and ambiguous in terms of morality vibe, a homme fatale. But who (which also happens in some noir), turns out an abused, gaslit person who needs saving and who has honestly is owed by the world for all the hell it put him through.

Once again, I can't say if you'd like the drama - but the above is why I love love love love LOVE it and thank you for letting me have a chance to rant.