#i promise i will write more for these 2 i am just plagued by another league fic rn

[normshortfornormal]

Steb x OC

"Firefish"

Steb x fem!OC (Vastaya) 

Summary: Steb and Eiden, childhood friends turned lovers, serendipitously run into each other in Piltover after many years of having not seen each other. They decide to commemorate their reunion with a night of pleasure. 

Word Count: 5594 

Tags and Warnings: Explicit, Smut, Oral Sex, Aftercare, Alcohol, slight animal biology, they are in love, steb is such a romantic during sex, established relationship, established relationship and OC lore that isn’t all revealed in this one piece, NOT EDITED, Steb was born in Ionia and is not native to Piltover or Zaun, Steb and OC travelled around Runeterra before Piltover (but not always travelling together)

This is my first time writing smut! Please be kind. This is meant to be the first chapter of a series, so there’s a lot of information and lore that has yet to be revealed. I plan to post this on Ao3 once I have more written for it and once it’s more revised! Please enjoy, and thank you so much for reading!

(yes this is a repost bc tumblr hates whimsy and love)

Read below the cut!

Eiden decided to go to a different bar today. One where the wine was cheap and the music was quieter. Here, in this modest bar where everyone seemed to be friends and knew each other on a first name basis, the bass wasn’t so heavy that it made her feathers feel like they were going to fall off. 

Sitting further in the bar was a stage hosting karaoke night. There was a pretty pair who were singing quite a horrible rendition of a popular love song. The girl was really carrying the whole song, she could actually sing and had a nice voice. The boy accompanied with harmonies that were somehow too sharp and too flat at the same time. Eiden watched from the bar that sat near the entrance, legs crossed and swirling a glass of red wine the same color as her dress. When the pair finished, everyone clapped and whistled, and the woman in charge of the music congratulated them for a sparkling performance. Eiden clapped along, too, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, but she could blame the wine for that. 

She downed her glass and beckoned for another one. 

“Must’ve been a pretty tough week, huh?” The bartender grinned as he poured her another one. 

“Quite the opposite, in fact. Thank you.” Eiden took the glass and sipped it. “Tonight calls for celebration.”

“Oh? And what’s the occasion?” 

“Celebration, of course. Celebrating for celebration’s sake—makes life a little livelier.” 

The bartender chuckled. “Here’s to life, then.” He went off to help another customer, leaving Eiden to bounce her foot to the beat and watch the flow of people. Standing on the stage now was a man doing mumble rap. Despite the poor choice of music, people were dancing anyway. Eiden was tempted to join them, but she was quite comfortable where she was. She had a perfect view of the bar and all its activities. 

There was a group of people who were playing foosball. There was only one woman amongst them. Every time someone scored a point, the loser had to take a shot and shuffle off for the next person. The reigning champion was a very pretty boy whom she’d been trying to catch the attention of since she laid eyes on him. Perhaps if he wasn’t so focused on the game, he would have spotted her by now, but alas, Eiden was left to sit at the bar, sipping wine and lamenting the lack of attention.

Others had noticed her—she was a new face in a bar that seemed intimately acquainted with their regulars—but they were not him, so she didn’t care. 

She was on her fifth glass when he finally noticed her. He had lost to the woman—a young girl with short orange hair—and was forced to take a shot. He wiped his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest, grinning as the woman decimated her opponent, when one of the drunker men elbowed him and pointed her out. His eyes flicked over the bar and did a double-take when he saw her.

Eiden couldn’t help it. Her lips curved into a coy smile. She winked at him before turning away and sipping her wine. From where she sat and where he stood, he had a perfect view of her back, generously revealed by the backless dress she wore. He could see her feathers peeking from just above her tailbone, she knew. 

She could hear his friends egging him on, encouraging to go say hello to her. She did not look in his direction, not even when his shadow graced the wooden countertop. 

“Eiden.” 

She loved the way he said her name. It made her wings ruffle and the tiny feathers on her cheeks twitch. More than that, it was refreshing to hear the familiar Vastayan dialect she had grown up with. She turned her head to face him. She did a very slow once-over of him, paying extra attention to his legs and chest and the blush on his face. 

“How do you know my name, stranger?” she asked with round eyes and fluttering lashes. 

“Just a feeling,” he said, looking equal parts exasperated and amused. “May I sit?”

“You may.”

He took his seat and Eiden eyed his friends in the back, all watching with unabashed eagerness. He leaned to the side, obstructing her view with his pretty face. 

“Don’t be jealous, Steb,” Eiden teased. She swiveled in her seat so her body was towards him. “No one catches my eye like you do.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes. His gaze lingered on her lips, colored deep red with lipstick, and her plunging neckline that teased her stomach. Then he looked at her fingers, and that was what made his frills flicker across his cheeks. 

“You’re adorable,” she said. Her fingers teased his knuckles, and he cleared his throat. 

“I wasn’t aware you were in Piltover.”

“What a coincidence then, hm? Guess we’re fated to meet again and again.” Eiden smiled when Steb intertwined his fingers with her own. “So? What brings you here? To this bar, I mean.”

“A celebration. I passed my Enforcer exam.”

“Oho, congratulations. And I suppose those are…?”

“Colleagues that passed with me.”

Eiden hummed. “Have you had anything to drink? Apart from the one shot you had. Shame your winning streak had to come to an end.” Steb’s friends were playing without him, but they were watching the interaction at the bar, so they weren’t very focused. 

“Not much.” Steb raised an eyebrow when Eiden pushed her half-full glass towards him with her finger. Clearly, he was not impressed by the cheap wine. 

“Don’t act so high and mighty,” Eiden said. “Don’t you remember Bilgewater?”

Steb may have shaken his head and sighed, but he was wearing a smile and his eyes were soft under the low light of the bar. He finished Eiden’s glass. 

Eiden called for two more drinks so they could celebrate Steb’s new place on the Enforcer team. She asked for gin, flashing Steb a knowing wink. They have known each other for too long for her to forget what his choice drink is. 

They clinked their glasses together and downed the drink in celebration. Then Steb asked the bartender for water and nudged the glass to Eiden. She humored him, only because it was Steb and it had been so long since they’d seen each other. 

They caught up on old times. Eiden traced his fingers and nudged his leg with her heels, while Steb admired her wine-red dress and the way it rode up her thigh. When the music turned soft and jazzy, Steb invited her for a dance, offering his hand and bowing because he’s a gentleman. 

Eiden obliged him. Together, they headed to the dance floor. Steb twirled and spun her slowly, let her step on his feet and rested his hand on the small of her back in a way that was all too comfortable and familiar. He smiled as she laughed, and went willingly when she pulled him towards her. She spun twice and ended with her back against his chest, his arms wrapped around her midsection. Eiden let her eyes drift shut as she lost herself in the music and the comfortable embrace. Like this, they swayed together. 

Eiden didn’t realize they had danced for three songs until Steb’s friends rudely interrupted them. Some were more sober than others, but they were all at least a little tipsy. They crowded Steb’s space, oblivious to how his shoulders grew rigid and he shuffled away.

“He’s a gentleman,” they said, “a real nice guy. A little quiet, but he’ll treat you right.”

The only one who was respectful was the woman, who smiled at Eiden. She did not crowd their space and actually asked for Eiden’s name. She complimented her dress, so Eiden complimented her foosball skills. 

The men were both human and men and didn’t notice how her wings and feathered ears kept twitching. Eiden suspected that even if they did notice, they wouldn’t care. It took both Steb wrapping an arm around Eiden’s waist and fixing them with a look, and the woman telling the men they should leave for everyone to finally clear off. They winked at them and flashed them knowing looks as they left the bar.

“Have a good time, you two!”

Eiden huffed, the feathers on her ears flaring a bit. “I see why you call them colleagues now,” she said. 

Steb smiled apologetically and rubbed her arm. “Maddie’s nice.”

“Is that her name? She was the most pleasant of all of them. Are you two actually friends?”

He nodded. Then he held out his hand with a small smile, inviting her for one more dance. 

“How can I say no to you?” she smiled.

The dance was too short for Eiden’s liking, but her heels were pinching her feet and her soles were sore. Steb offered to walk her home, so Eiden accepted his arm and they made the slow journey back to Eiden’s apartment. Part way through the walk, Eiden took off her heels so she could walk freely. Her feet were that of a bird’s. Had she been more sober, she would have perched on Steb’s shoulder or arm, just like they had in the past, but she liked holding onto his arm and leaning on his bicep. He offered to hold her shoes, and let them dangle from his fingers as they walked down the cobbled streets, dimly lit by the lanterns on the street. 

Steb walked Eiden all the way to the door of her apartment. They stopped in front of her door and turned to each other. The way he looked at her actually made her shy. Her feathered ears ruffled and came down over her cheeks. 

“Will you stay?” Eiden murmured, hiding behind her feathers. Steb shrugged. He lowered his head and moved her feathers out of her face. His touch was so tender as he traced her cheek, brushing just below the tiny feathers on her cheeks. He had the gentlest smile on his face. “I’m glad to see you again, too,” she said. 

He entered Eiden’s apartment with her. The door clicked shut behind them and Eiden flicked on the lights. Steb placed Eiden’s shoes in the mess of shoes by the door, shooting her a chastising look as he did. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Eiden said. She sighed and stretched her arms into the air. She grinned at the way his eyes lingered on her back and wings before quickly darting away. “It’s not messy, it’s just organized my way.”

It was a nice apartment. Not nearly as nice as the more expensive apartments in the upper crust of the city, but still nice nonetheless. She had a nice kitchen that still had dirty dishes in the sink and a living room with a couch so plush it welcomed her body with a sigh. The apartment had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was just her in the apartment, but she liked the extra space. 

Steb brought her a glass of water while Eiden laid on the couch. Then, to Eiden’s amusement and endearment, he headed to the sink and started washing her dishes. Eiden watched him as she sipped her water.

How many years had it been since they’d seen each other? Twenty? Fifty? The years all blurred together after a while, but seeing him filled a hole in her she hadn’t even realized was there. No matter how many times it happened, she was always surprised by the way he completed her. 

She finished her water and went to the bathroom. Then she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She sighed and toyed with the buttons of his shirt. 

“How long will you be in Piltover for?” Eiden asked.

Steb shrugged. “What about you?”

Eiden hummed. “However long feels right. If you’re here, I might stay a little longer.” She was untucking his shirt now, but Steb was focused on the dishes. Eiden pouted. “If I wanted you to do my dishes, I would’ve asked you over during the day.”

Steb put the dishes down, wiped his hands with a towel tossed haphazardly on the countertop, and turned around. His smile was amused and exasperated. 

“I have a morning shift tomorrow,” he murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear.  

“We’ll make it quick, I promise.”

He shook his head and cupped her jaw. The tips of his fingers brushed the hair at the back of her head. He leaned in, his smile growing when Eiden stood on her tiptoes to catch his lips. He pulled away, smiling at Eiden’s pout. He ran his thumb across her cheek and rested his forehead against hers.

“Don’t lie.” 

Eiden smiled into the kiss. Still on her tiptoes, she draped her arms over his shoulders, carding her fingers through his hair while she traced the ridge on his neck. He shuddered at her touch, his breath hitching as she drew her finger up and down the ridge. Steb cradled her face as he kissed her slow and deep. His lips curved into a smile as Eiden tucked his shirt and popped the buttons. 

Eiden chased his lips when Steb pulled away again. He shushed and soothed her, pressing featherlight kisses to her cheeks. His hands trailed to her thighs.

“May I?” he murmured. 

“Please.”

His grip was firm on the back of her thighs. Eiden gasped when he hoisted her up with ease, and placed her on the island behind her. Whatever Eiden wanted to say was swallowed up by Steb when he kissed her again.

His kisses were always so deep and intense, like he was worshipping her mouth with his soft lips and tongue. He swallowed every whimper Eiden made and dug his fingers into her thigh when she sucked on his tongue. He slid her dress further up her thigh and groaned against her lips when she pulled at his hair. He hardly gave her a moment to breathe, kissing her until she was trembling and had to tilt her head away to catch her breath. 

Steb dragged his lips to her jaw and down her throat, mouthing at her shoulder and back up to her throat. Eiden slid his shirt off his body until it hit the floor. She pressed down on the ridge that trailed from his tailbone to the top of his neck, and Steb moaned into her skin. His hands roamed to her back, climbing up her skin until he traced the sensitive part of where her wings sprouted from her back. He rubbed underneath her wing and Eiden jolted, gasping and gripping his biceps. 

“Mean,” she breathed. She felt Steb smile against her throat. He kissed back up to her mouth, pressing a sweet, chaste kiss to her lips before pulling back to stare at her.

His pupils were blown and his lips were wet and swollen. Her lipstick was smeared all over him, coloring his lips with a dark red tint. One of his teeth was stained too. Steb raised an eyebrow, ran his tongue across his teeth and cleaned the lipstick away. He dragged his thumb below his lip, slow and tantalizing as he stared at Eiden, and sucked away the lipstick he had smudged on his thumb.

“Open,” he whispered, and Eiden obeyed without a second thought. She opened her mouth and Steb slid his thumb in, watching with rapt attention as Eiden sucked on him, swirled her tongue around him while looking up at him through her long eyelashes. He pressed down on her tongue and his breath hitched when her eyes fluttered. He drew his thumb out and Eiden pressed a kiss to the tip, smiling when he smeared her own saliva across her bottom lip.

Eiden cradled his face, resting her forehead against his. He held her waist, and when they kissed again, he pulled her forward until she was sitting at the very edge of the counter, pressed flush against his torso. He nudged her fingers up to the frills below his eyes. She dragged her thumb across them, and delighted in the way he moaned into her mouth. His lips drifted to her jaw and down to her throat. He mouthed at her pulsepoint and teased under her wing until Eiden was trembling beneath him. She breathed his name and ran her fingers across the frills on his chest and sides, delighting in the way he hissed her name.

“Can I mark you?” Steb murmured against her throat, voice thick and wrought with arousal. He pressed light butterfly kisses to her skin, looking up at her with big eyes. 

“Please…” 

Eiden’s lashes fluttered against her cheeks as Steb sucked a pretty mark onto her neck. He ran his tongue over it and dragged his lips back to hers. His hand had trailed so far up her thigh that he was holding her ass now. He squeezed, digging his fingers into her flesh before touching her tail feathers. She jolted against him, the sensation heading straight to her core. It was difficult to breathe as he played with her. She buried her face into the crook of his neck as her body twisted and twitched, unsure if it wanted more or to get away from his touch. 

“Where’s your bedroom?” he whispered into her ear. 

“That one.” Eiden pointed to the door across the room. In a smooth motion, Steb swept her into his arms, holding her like a bride as he headed towards her room. Eiden laughed, her hands falling naturally onto his shoulders. “Such a prince.” 

Steb smiled and kissed her cheek. He placed her on her bed so gently, making sure her head rested comfortably on the pillows, like she really was his princess. 

The bed creaked with his weight as he crawled up her body. He pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, then her cheek and to her jaw, down her neck and to her shoulder. 

“I like this dress,” he murmured, slipping the thin strap off her shoulder. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” His hands roamed her body, searching for the zipper. Eiden helped guide him to the back of her dress. 

“Then I’ll wear it more for you,” Eiden whispered, arching her back so Steb could unzip her dress. 

“Just for me?”

Eiden’s breathy laugh melted into a sigh once Steb started planting kisses all over her exposed skin. “Don’t want anyone else seeing me in that dress, huh?”

Steb shook his head and slid the fabric off her body. “Tonight was enough.” He kissed her shoulder and then trailed his lips down to her chest. They locked eyes as Steb took her nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the bud. Eiden’s sigh was blissful. Her eyes fluttered shut and she carded her fingers through his hair. 

He flicked her nipple with his tongue and pulled at the other one with his hand. Eiden’s breathing grew more ragged, her body hotter beneath him as she arched her back, pressing her chest further into his mouth. She whispered his name like it was a secret just for the two of them. 

Steb kissed down her body, taking his time to mark her skin while Eiden whined for him to hurry up. Steb looked up at her when she said his name, and smiled at the look on her face. He took her hand into his own and pressed gentle kisses all across her knuckles. Then he kissed her stomach, slow and sweet, and caressed her hip while staring at her with his pretty eyes. 

Eiden’s lip quivered. She turned her head to the side, burying her face into the pillow. “You make me feel like it’s the first time.”

Steb chuckled against her skin and held her hand in his own as he drifted down, down until she could feel his breath against her clothed cunt. Her legs were trembling as she spread them. He pressed a soft kiss to her panties and looked up at her. She nodded, gripping his hand like a lifeline even though this was far from their first time ever having sex, but the way he looked at her, the way he kissed her body so reverently, brought back old shyness. 

He kissed the inside of her thighs, licking and leaving his own private marks that only he would see. The way he kissed her, sucked marks into her skin while running his thumb across her fingers made her thighs tremble. 

When he finally started to kiss her panties, Eiden breathed out a blissful thank you. He made out with her cunt through her panties, ignoring her pleas to take them off because he liked to hear how needy she got. When she was all but choking please and Steb and I want more, he generously pulled her panties to the side. He held them to the side with his thumb. He blew a light puff of air against her clit and the sensation made her flinch. 

“Don’t tease,” Eiden whispered. 

Steb breathed a laugh against her core. He pulled his hand from hers, leaving Eiden to grip the sheets as he used his hand to spread Eiden’s lips apart and lick a fat stripe from her ass to her clit. Eiden gasped, hips rocking against his face. He held her open, his long tongue diving into her entrance and pressing against her walls. Her slick coated his tongue and when he moaned, mouth pressed flush against her, the vibrations went straight to her pussy. Her body twitched each time his lips brushed against her clit as his tongue squirmed inside of her. When the hand holding her open moved up to her clit, fingers circling around it, Eiden’s hips lifted off the bed. 

His thumb flicked her clit in quick motions. Eiden whined, high and needy as her head fell back onto the pillows, chest heaving as Steb ate her out like it was his last meal. He circled her clit, wringing out all sorts of noises from Eiden until all she could do was stammer his name and grip his hair, rocking her hips against his face. He moaned against her pussy, tongue deep inside of her as he circled her clit, and the combined pressure and pleasure had tears building at the edges of Eiden’s eyes. 

She rode his face, rolling her hips until she came with a gasp and a shudder, choking on Steb’s name as he continued to flick and roll her clit beneath his thumb. She gripped his hair, back arched and toes curled as he worked her through her orgasm. When it became too much, her thighs squeezed over his head and she tried to push him away. She whined when Steb finally slid his tongue out of her, leaving her pussy to pulse and squeeze on nothing. Her back was still arched when he pressed a soft, tender kiss to her clit and slid her panties back over her pussy. 

Her eyes fluttered shut, just starting to come down from her high when she felt Steb pull back her panties and release it with a loud snap. Eiden yelped, her clit stinging. She finally looked up at Steb, and he was looking at her with such ravenous lust that her stomach swooped. 

Steb removed her panties in a quick motion, tossing them onto the floor before lowering his head between her legs again. 

“Wh-what are you— oh!” Eiden’s head fell back, legs closing over Steb’s head as he licked her cunt again, swallowing up the slick and cum straight from her pussy. With one hand, he held a firm grip on her waist to keep her on the bed as his lips latched onto her clit. He sucked and flicked his tongue over her clit in rapid motions, drinking her shrieks and moans like he did the slick gushing from her pussy. With his other hand, he slipped two fingers easily into her entrance, giving her something to squeeze on while he sucked and licked at her clit. 

He fingered her as his lips stayed latched onto her clit. She barely felt it when he added another finger, all pressed in to the knuckle. Steb never let up even for a second, his tongue rapidly flicking her clit as he fucked her on his fingers. His grip on her hip was too firm for her to squirm away, even as she writhed in place. 

“S-Steb, Steb, it’s too much, please— please, I—!” Eiden gasped, keening between her teeth as Steb curled his fingers. The heat coiling in her gut was coming to a head. Tears were leaking out of her eyes now, overwhelmed as Steb continued to abuse her clit with his tongue and curl his long fingers inside her.

“C’mon, give me one more,” he muttered against her clit. “One more, you can do it.”

“I-I can’t, it–it’s too much, I can’t— I— Steb! Oh, fuck!” She squeezed her thighs tight over his head, words cutting off in a shriek as she came again. Her vision whited out, back arching as her legs and hips spasmed. Steb moaned against her cunt, drinking the cum straight from her pussy as she rode his face and tongue. From above the mound of her pussy, Eiden saw Steb’s eyes roll back into his head as she came all over his face.

He worked her through it until Eiden begged him to stop. He finally pushed himself up and crawled over Eiden’s body until his face was hovering above hers. His face was debauched. The lower half of his face was soaked, dripping with slick and cum. He had a pretty blue blush on his cheeks and he was panting, pupils blown and frills flaring.

He cupped her face, cradling her cheek with such tenderness that Eiden couldn’t help but melt into his hand. Steb leaned down and pressed a sweet, slow kiss to her lips. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, sliding it all the way to the back of her throat. Steb shuddered when Eiden choked and gagged on his tongue. 

Steb leaned back. He rolled her nipples between his fingers as he asked, “do you still want more?”

“Yes, please,” Eiden whispered. “I want all of you.”

Steb smiled and unbuckled his belt. “So greedy,” he whispered, and Eiden swallowed. “You’re insatiable.”

He tossed his pants aside. There was a dark spot on his boxers, where the tip had spilled precum and stained the fabric. He stripped off his boxers and dropped them on the floor. The gills on his pelvis, fluttering with arousal, had opened to reveal his pretty dick. It was a pretty blue color, the tip purple and leaking with arousal, with frills and ridges on it. 

Steb traced her legs, looking at her with a questioning look. Eiden nodded. It had been so long since they’d seen each other, since they basked in each other’s warmth and love, that Eiden didn’t want to do anything but missionary.

Steb grabbed her legs and spread them apart, resting her ankles on his shoulders. He stroked his dick a few times to spread the precum, and then he was lining up at her entrance. Her pussy throbbed when he brushed against her. He rubbed his dick up and down her dripping folds, and then he was pushing in.

Eiden was so wet and loose from her previous orgasms that Steb was able to push in with ease. He groaned, leaning over her body and burying his face into her neck. Instinctively, she threw one arm over his shoulder and tangled her other hand into his hair. They moaned in tandem when Steb bottomed out, her pussy throbbing and squeezing around him. He was panting heavy against her neck, mouthing at her skin and rolling his hips like he was trying to get even deeper. 

“So good,” Eiden whispered, pressing featherlight kisses to his ears. He shuddered and whimpered against her skin. “Always so good for me.”

“Eiden,” he whispered. Steb rolled his hips, eyes and frills fluttering as he savored the feeling of her pussy. He rested his forehead against hers, a pretty divot between his eyebrows, and kissed her as he made love to her. Every rock of his hips was slow and reverent, like the way he kissed her. He smoothed the feathers on her ears and peppered her feathered cheeks with butterfly kisses. 

They made out as they slowly fucked. Steb whimpered with each movement of his hips, his movements growing stronger and faster. It didn’t take long for Steb to lean his forehead against Eiden’s, moaning and whimpering as he snapped his hips hard and fast, hitting the deepest parts of Eiden’s pussy and carving it open with the ridges of his dick. Eiden felt like her pussy was on fire. Each snap of his hips left her clit throbbing and walls squeezing around him.

“So beautiful,” Steb whispered, his breathing heavy and thrusts growing erratic. “So gorgeous.”

He fucked her until her legs were trembling, toes curling as they slotted their lips together in a sloppy rendition of a kiss. Their kiss was more shared moans and sliding tongues than a real kiss, but it had Eiden clawing marks into Steb’s back anyway. He held her face with one hand, cradling her so tenderly, so gently, as his hand slid down to her swollen clit. Eiden shrieked when he started flicking and rolling it beneath his finger. She writhed in place, but Steb kept her body down with his shoulders pressed into her knees. 

“Feels so good,” he murmured against her lips, drinking in her moans and sobs. The combined pleasure of Steb fucking her while he circled her swollen clit had Eiden crying, gripping Steb like he was her last lifeline. “You’re perfect.”

Eiden’s orgasm rushed through her, sudden and electric, lighting her entire body on fire as her back arched, eyes rolling back in her head and mouth open in a silent scream. Her nails dug into Steb’s skin, her body trembling beneath his as he fucked her through her third orgasm. It was too much. Her entire body felt oversensitive, tingling with the sensation and pleasure of her third release. 

Steb moaned against her skin, whispering about how beautiful she was and how good she felt. He rolled his hips deep into her throbbing pussy, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chased his own orgasm. When he finally came, it was so deep that Eiden swore she could feel it in her stomach. He moaned, frills fluttering euphorically against his cheek as he filled her with so much cum that she could feel it leak out of her and onto the sheets. 

Steb cooed at her, kissing her tears away as he worked himself through his orgasm. Then captured Eiden’s lips in a deep kiss that carried the high for just a little longer. Steb sighed blissfully against her lips. When they pulled away, Steb sprinkled light kisses all over her face; on her forehead, her temples, her cheeks and the corner of her mouth. His hands rubbed her body, soothing her skin. They both groaned when he finally pulled out, and all the cum he pumped into her came spilling out onto the sheets. 

Her body felt like jello. Tingling and weak, her nerves were spent. She didn’t have the energy to speak, so when Steb looked at her with a worried expression, she smiled and signed to him, don’t be sorry. I’m alright.

He stood up, and Eiden watched as he headed to the bathroom connected to the room. He returned with a towel, and he wiped up the pool of cum that had spilled out of Eiden. He set that towel aside, and then went back into the bathroom. This time, he returned with a cloth soaked with warm water. Gently, he ran the cloth across Eiden’s legs, cleaning the mess and warming her body. 

She giggled when he pressed a soft kiss to her temple. 

I’ll get you some water, he signed. Eiden nodded, and he disappeared into the main room. He was quick to return with two glasses of water. He placed them both on the nightstand, and helped Eiden sit up. He rearranged the pillows to make sure she was comfortable, and then sat beside her. He handed her the glass of water, and Eiden downed it. 

She sighed and leaned on his shoulder. Steb sipped at his water, entwining his fingers with hers. Eiden’s energy was slowly coming back to her. 

“I’ve missed you,” she murmured, her voice a little hoarse.

Steb smiled and brought her hand up to his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on her palm, his gaze so tender and adoring. He kissed down her arm and then back up to her palm, smiling at the way Eiden giggled. 

He finished his water and placed both their glasses back on the nightstand. 

Let me massage you, he signed. You’ll be sore in the morning. Eiden smiled, amused and endeared. 

“After cuddles.”

Steb’s smile was just as amused. You never change. Still, he obliged her and settled next to her, pulling Eiden close to his chest. He pressed kisses to her hair, trailing his fingers up and down her back and smoothing the feathers on her wings. Eiden sighed in his embrace, letting herself relax in his arms. 

How she had missed his warmth.

[astraystayyh]

skz and how they would say 'i love you' for the first time

genre : fluff. pre-established relationship.

warnings : mention of anxiety in Han's part.

this is my first ever writing here so i hope you enjoy, feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments/reblogs it will be much appreciated <33

Chan

You were in the studio, lying down on the couch while Chan worked some more on a new track. It was past 2 am, and you were trying so hard to stay awake so that you'd be able to walk home with him. Still, the day's tiredness caught up to you and you felt your eyes close slowly. The soft hums coming from Chan, the repetitive clicks on his keyboard, the stillness in the studio- it all came together like a gentle symphony that lulled you right to sleep.

Sometime later, Chan turns around stretching out a little. A smile graces his face when he looks at your sleeping figure; your cheek was squished against your arm, your hair messily sprawled around you. He slowly gets up and kneels in front of you, careful not to wake you up- he just wanted to admire you.

His finger softly grazes your brows, your nose, your cheeks and lips, as if trying to commit every single one of your features to memory. He felt guilty that he kept you up for so long, but ultimately, he was grateful that he had you with him. Your presence alone made him feel at home, because home is wherever you are.

Looking at you, a panorama of lovely memories starring you started playing in his mind. He saw you smiling at him, placing a gentle kiss on his temple. He saw you sat on his lap, your head fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck. He saw you preparing him a homemade meal and making sure he ate it.

He had found a safe haven in you, a place to rest amid the chaos that was his life. He cared for you so much that it scared him at times. He wouldn't be able to cope with losing you.

That's when it hits him; he was in love. He was in love with you. The realization didn't come like tidal waves lapping softly at the shore, instead, it crashed down on him, drowning him in everything that is you. He loves you, he's loved you for a long time and he can't imagine ever not loving you.

Chest slightly heaving, he whispers it, the softest "I love you" he's ever said. You didn't hear him since you were asleep, but he had to confess, he couldn't keep this surge of emotions inside. But don't fret, he'll tell you when you wake up. He loves you and he needs you to know it too.

Minho

Minho has known that he loved you for a while, yet the words seemed to be stuck in his throat. See, he didn't know if it was too soon to say it, would you reciprocate it? Would you be put off by his declaration? He couldn't risk you so instead he settled on doing what he does best, showing it to you.

But those pending three words plagued his mind, and he found himself longing to say them at the most random times. He'd wake up next to you and you'd smile at him, I love you, he wanted to confess. You'd prepare him breakfast while he got ready, I love you. You'd hug him goodbye, I love you. You'd remind him to drink water, I love you. The sun would cast a golden glow on your eyes, I love you. He wanted to tell you, he wanted to get this beautiful feeling off his chest. But he kept it in, and soon, it choked him, he had to say it.

On a random Tuesday, he had kissed you goodbye, your mouths meeting in the gentlest kiss as if you both had all the time in the world to love each other. And then, another kiss placed on your neck, a promise of something more. He was already at the end of the street when he stopped in his tracks. You were calling out his name, running towards him, chest heaving from the effort. He chuckled lowly to himself, you were still wearing your pajamas and the bunny slippers he bought for you, to match his own.

"What's wrong kitten?", he asks and you grab his arm, to steady yourself. Taking deep breaths, you explain, "they said it will rain and you didn't take an umbrella with you, so I brought it for you".

You hand him the umbrella and he stares at it, eyes wide. His heart was beating erratically in his chest, the small attention setting off a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't believe that you were his and that you were this thoughtful, for him.

That's when he blurts it out, the "I love you" that was begging to be freed from the confines of his mouth. It was a relief to finally say it, it was never a secret meant for him only, he should have told you from the start. He smiles and says it again, this time much slower, savoring the way the words rolled out of the tip of his tongue "I love you, yn". He liked saying it, he realized, and he liked it more when you giggled, cradling his face between your hands, "I love you, Minho."

Changbin

This was your first-time meeting Changbin's family, and you were very nervous. You had been dating him for 5 months now, and he has finally found the perfect time for his favorite people to meet. You knew how much he cared for his family, so you needed to make a good impression on them. You wanted them to see you as family too.

Thankfully, the dinner went amazingly well. You were a little shy at first, but with Changbin's help- that came in the form of his sense of humor, you came out of your shell quickly. The conversation flowed easily between you, his parents and his sister. And you were more than happy to answer all of their questions. His mom even insisted on showing you Changbin's baby pictures, despite his begging to not "embarrass him" anymore.

You were now helping Changbin's sister in the kitchen while she plated the dessert, laughing about Binnie's childhood stories. That's when his mom leaned into his ear, whispering "I really like her, she's a good one." To that, Changbin smiled fondly, whispering a "I like her too."

Shortly after, the dinner was over and you both bid your farewells to his family, promising to come back again. As soon as you were out of the door, Changbin brings you into his arms and spins you around. You giggle, confused by his sudden outburst. When he stops, you raise a brow inquisitively at him, as he stares at you with twinkles in his eyes. "You fit right there, with my family," he explains, a soft smile on his face.

"You think that went well?" you ask, fidgeting a bit with the hem of your shirt.

"Well?! Yn, they loved you!" he whisper-shouts excitedly, before his expression turns serious. He takes in a deep breath, grabbing both of your hands in his, as if to make sure you were there and not a dream. His eyes stay on the ground for a couple for seconds before they finally meet yours, "and I love you."

"You... You love me?" you repeat, eyes wide staring into his.

"Yeah baby, I love you so much," he grins, bringing one of your hands to his mouth and brushing his lips against your knuckles.

"Binnie... I love you too," you smile, unshed tears pooling into your eyes.

"Say it again," he smiles cheekily and you laugh.

"I love you."

"Is this the happiest day of my life?" he yells at the sky and you chuckle, pulling him in for a hug.

His strong arms encircling yours, your sweet scent surrounding him, that's when a second realization hits him. He will marry you one day. But for now, that's a thought he keeps to himself.

Han

You had a date night planned with Han, a reservation in a fancy restaurant you've been dying to try out. You dressed up accordingly for the occasion and Han couldn't take his eyes off of you. "You are really pretty", he tells you for the fifth time since you picked him up and you smile "You are pretty handsome yourself", to which he winks at you.

You've finally parked in front of the restaurant when you notice that Han has gone eerily quiet. His leg is bouncing up and down anxiously, and you signal to the valet that you are not coming out yet. You angle your body towards Han, grabbing his hand in yours and rubbing soothing circles on it. "What's wrong?", you ask softly and he shakes his head, "Nothing, let's just go inside". He attempts to smile but it only comes off as a grimace, worrying you even more.

"Han, sweetheart talk to me, please. What's wrong?".

"It's nothing, I'm just... feeling anxious, I guess", he whispers and your heart constricts in your chest at how small his voice sounds. You were familiar with anxiety as well, and you've learned to notice when it sprang up inside Han. And right now, he needed to be home.

You drop his hand, put the car in reverse, and leave the parking lot. You can feel Han's eyes on you, so you turn towards him with a smile, "how about we watch a movie at home, hum? Order takeout?"

"But... The reservation? You wanted to go to the restaurant".

"We can always go another time, and besides, I just want to spend time with you. Anywhere will do", you shoot him a quick smile, before turning your attention toward the road. He is quiet for the rest of the ride, but he squeezes your hand three times; his silent "thank you". He has never appreciated you as much as he did now.

When you arrive to your apartment, you are quick to change into your pajamas, giving Han some spare clothes he left at your place. You place an order of Han's favorite comfort meal, before laying down on the couch, making grabby hands at Han for him to join you. He chuckles, then he lays between your legs, his head on top of your stomach. You play with his hair for a little while, stopping to ask him a "feeling better?", to which he nods yes.

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you, both of you enjoying the peace that you found in each other's presence. That's when Han calls out your name, "yn?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I think I love you", he says softly, his words muffled by his mouth squished against you.

Your hands pause their movement in his hair, taken aback by his sudden declaration. You could feel him hug your middle tighter so you resume your touches. It's quiet for a while when Han speaks again, "yn?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I know I love you", he says, standing up to sit on the couch and pulling you up with him. He places a soft kiss on your forehead, and you smile when he automatically lowers his forehead for you to kiss him too. That was a cute habit he had developed and it made you melt every time.

"Han?"

"Yes pretty?"

"I know I love you too", you whisper back, this time kissing him on his lips. The kiss was sweet and gentle, it was Han's way of saying "as long as you're here, as long as you love me, I'll be okay."

Hyunjin

Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic, he knew it, you knew it, and you loved him for it. He first realized he loved you when he woke up next to you for the first time. You were still asleep, the sun rays seeping through your curtains and illuminating your face in the most angelic way. You had nuzzled closer to him, whispering his name in your sleep, and his heart skipped a beat in his chest. That's when he knew, this is the sight he wanted to wake up to for the rest of his life. That's when he knew he loved you.

He wanted to take you to the beach at night, walk with you near the shore hand in hand. And then he'd tell you, he'd tell you he loved you and he'd make sure that the sea, the moon, the stars were all there to witness your blooming love.

What he didn't plan on was you heading to his dorm and picking him up with no previous announcement. You put a blindfold over his eyes and drove him to a location only you knew. You didn't budge, even when he pouted asking you countless times about where you were taking him. "You are so cute", you cooed and he smiled, before frowning again.

You took him out of your car, his hand strongly holding onto your arm. He almost tripped and you giggled, grateful that he could not see the amused expression on your face. "You are smiling right now aren't you", he accused and you laughed, "Yes, I am". He knew you too well.

When you finally entered the building, you stepped behind a bit, before telling him "You can remove the blindfold".

He does it very quickly and ends up struggling a bit, which makes you laugh even more. He playfully glares at you but his expression morphs into shock when he realizes where he is. This is an art exposition that he was dying to see, but that was going to end very soon. He couldn't go during the day, since he was very busy. And the art gallery was supposed to be closed at night, yet here they were at 10 pm.

"How did you do it?", he asks incredulously, his eyes darting around as if he couldn't settle on one piece of art to look at. Finally, he looks at you.

"Well, I knew you wanted to come, and turns out a friend of a friend knows the owner and they agreed to have it open just for us", you smile, moving closer to him and encircling his waist with your hands.

"You did this for me?", he asks, a wave of emotion swirling inside of him. This was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him.

"Of course, I did this for you. You deserve it, angel", you grin and he grins back, cradling your face between his hands.

"I really love you", he says gently, but then he slaps a hand on his mouth as if he wasn't supposed to blurt it out.

"What did you just say?".

"I said, I like you. Anyways let's move-"

"Hyunjin Hwang, did you just tell me you love me and then tried to play it off?".

"Whaaat no", you give him a blank stare, "Maybe...? Yes", he sighs defeated, and you chuckle.

"I love you too, my idiot".

"Who are you calling an idiot also- wait? You love me?", he asks a lovestruck expression on his face. He was looking at you as if you loving him was the greatest gift the universe had to offer, it made your cheeks turn a crimson red.

"I love you, Hyunjin", you repeat and he beams at you, pulling you in for a long kiss that leaves you both breathless afterward.

"I'm in love with you, yn", he says and you giggle, "Then why did you try to take it back?".

"Because I had this whole thing planned to confess", he huffs and your heart swells inside of you.

"You know, you don't always have to do grand gestures for me, I appreciate every moment with you, even the simple ones".

"I know, my love. But I love you and I want to make every moment perfect for you", he mumbles the last part and you smile fondly at him, standing on your tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Should we check this out then?", you offer and he nods eagerly, "Yes please. Also, I love you", he says again and you laugh, "I love you too".

You spend the rest of the night wandering around the art gallery. Hyunjin thought that the pictures he saw didn't do the paintings justice, or maybe it was your exchanged I love you’s that lingered in the air, seeped into every painting, and made the exposition full of the love you had for each other.

And although he loved the paintings displayed, he loved you much more. That's why, in a room full of beautiful art, he still spends most of the night looking at you.

Felix

You've never really liked the color yellow, that is until you started dating Felix. You saw him as your sun; vibrant, full of life and warm. Being with him was like finding reasons to be alive over and over again. Being with him felt like yellow.

And for Felix, you were the moon. Gentle, safe, illuminating even his darkest tunnels. Being with you felt like finding a safe haven, a place where he can rest and feel loved.

He was a happy person, you noticed. Or at least, he tried to be as happy as one could be. He liked smiling, and he loved making you smile the most. But he was human after all, and he had days where he felt tired, and off. And tonight, it was one of those days, where he came over to your apartment after a particularly long day of practice. He didn't talk much, only hugging you as soon as he set foot into your place. He absently ate the dinner you made for him, took a shower, and joined you in bed.

"Long day?", you asked him, your hand running up and down his bare arm.

"Mm, just need you", he whispered and you place a kiss on his head in response, your hand moving up into his hair to play with it. You hum a lullaby under your breath, and he nuzzles closer to you.  Your sweet voice lulling him into sleep.

Sometime later, when you were sure he fell into a deep slumber, you gently peeled yourself away from him. He grumbled in his sleep, grabbing the pillow to hug it to his chest, thinking it was you. You chuckle softly, before tiptoeing towards the kitchen.

There, you decide to bake cookies for him to have in the morning. You knew it would make him happy, and he'd get a boost of energy from it. You just hoped it would compensate for the bad day he had.

You tried to be as quiet as possible, mixing in the ingredients in the utmost silence. And when your cookies are finally in the oven, you sigh, happy that you managed to do it without waking him up. Or so you thought, because as soon as you sit down on a stool, Felix emerges into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"What are you doing?", he asks in a small voice, his eyes still half closed.

"Baking cookies".

"At... 3 am?", he asks and you giggle, "Yes! So that you'd take them with you tomorrow".

"You made them for me?", he asks, much more awake now.

"Of course, silly. Wanted to cheer you up", you whisper softly, heat creeping up your cheeks.

He's quick to come to your side, pulling you in for a bone-crushing hug. When he pulls away, his eyes are shining brightly, like a million tiny stars found refuge inside of them. "You are so healing to my soul", he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and you lean into his touch.

"I love you. You know that, right?", he pecks your cheek, your forehead, your temple, and then your nose. Words and featherlight kisses that made you feel like you are on cloud nine.

"I love you my lixie", you say back, bopping his nose with yours, an Eskimo kiss.

"I'm the luckiest man alive to have you", his lips finally find yours and you sigh contently into the kiss.

"I should bake you cookies more", you tease and he laughs, "I really love you".

"I love you more", you grin and he smiles back. There you were, in the middle of the kitchen at 3 am, a sun and a moon meeting each other in a tender embrace.

Seungmin

Seungmin is strong, composed and calm. You liked that about him, he was like your anchor in a disturbed sea. He always grounded you back to safety, to him. He was also hard-working, going the extra mile to perfect his singing, staying up late into the night to practice, and you were always there to cheer him on.

He opened up to you, slowly but surely. But even in those moments of vulnerability, he still seemed strong to you. His body never betrayed him save for a shake of a hand, a shudder, a chest that rose up and down slightly faster than normal.

Imagine your surprise when one day you came home, to find him curled up on your couch. You gave him a spare key, so it wasn't his presence that shocked you. It was more of the soft whimpers that came from him, so muffled you had to strain to hear them. He was crying, for the first time in front of you.

You froze in your steps, unsure about how to proceed. But then, you quickly step forwards toward him, placing a soft kiss on his shoulder blade, then his head. His back was still facing you, so you kneel in front of him, your arm draped across his body.

"Seungmin, love?"

"Mm?".

"What do you need me to do?".

"Just hold me", he whispers and you nod, although he couldn't see you. You quickly climb onto the couch, spooning him from behind. Your arms encircle him, and you peck his neck softly. Your way of telling him 'I’m here whenever you are ready'.

It's silent for a while, save for his cries that subsidize as time goes by. You are not sure how long you stay in that position, but you don't mind. You'd do anything to help him.

"Thank you", he finally speaks up and you smile softly.

"Don't worry, baby. I got you".

He turns around, pulling you instantly towards his chest. You can hear his heart beating widely and you frown, that was unusual, your touch normally calmed him down.

But then, you feel it, rhythmic taps on your back. One tap, four consecutive taps, then three. Again, and again. Softly at first, but then more persistent. He was telling you something, you realized. 1-4-3, he was telling you I love you.

You smile into his chest, your cheeks tinting pink. And then, you pull away from him, kissing his mouth softly, "I love you too, Minnie".

He smiles, rolling his eyes playfully, "aren't you clever?".

"Can't help being this smart", you tease and he chuckles.

"I love you, baby", he enunciates this time and you giggle, "See it wasn't that hard".

"Shut up", he pinches your side slowly and you put your tongue out childishly at him, "You love me".

"You are annoying", he complains but the smile on his face says otherwise, "And you love me", you repeat, giggling.

"And I love you".

Jeongin

You were laying down on the floor of the practice room, while Jeongin repeated the new choreography time and time again. Everyone was long gone, but he wanted it to be perfect, and you were there to serve as emotional support. As he laid down on the floor next to you every now and then, placing a quick peck on your mouth before standing up yet again.

You were scrolling mindlessly on your phone when Jeongin lays down, on top of you this time. "You are sweaty", you scrunch your nose jokingly and he rolls his eyes at you. He still smelled nice but you loved teasing him. "You are my lover so you will endure this", he wiggles his brows at you and you laugh.

"Are you done?", you ask him, your hands pushing away the strands of hair that stuck to his forehead.

"Mm, I'm so tired", he closes his eyes for a second, and you smile at how pretty he looks.

"Ler's go for a drive!", you yell and he startles awake. "You need to stop hanging out with Changbin".

"Whatever, let's go!", you stand up, pulling him up with you.

"I need a shower", he pouts and you pause, thinking for a second, "Okay, go shower and i'll meet you at the dorm".

"And where will you go?"

"You'll see", you smile mischievously and he chuckles, "Yes ma'am".

Truth is, you haven't spent a lot of time with your boyfriend lately. So, you took it upon yourself to turn this small time you had together into a proper date.

15 minutes later, Jeongin hops into your car, freshly showered. You give him a quick hug, basking in the scent of his cologne; a hint of spices, and wood. "You smell good", you compliment and he smiles mischievously, "I know".

He puts some music on, and you both bop your head to 'Cheese', screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs. 'Gone away' comes in next, and you sing it together, your voice is tone-deaf, and he chuckles at your desperate attempts to hit the high notes.

"Idols are lucky you aren't a singer", he jokes and you laugh, swatting his arm.

Those late-night drives were a common occurrence between the two of you. You'd pick him up and drive around, no particular destination in mind. You'd roll the windows down, the night breeze ruffling your hair and his, but it felt nice and freeing. During those short drives, you'd both forget about the hardships of the day, savoring the presence of each other.

But this time, you had a destination in mind. You park in front of the beach, taking out a blanket from the back of your car, and some ice cream you bought while he was showering. You grab his hand in yours, running towards the sea. "Run faster", you yell to him and he laughs, "I'm tryingggg".

You collapse on the sand, and he collapses on top of you, giggling. "Am I your favorite pillow?".

"Mm, you are more comfortable than my bed".

"Get up, I'm getting sand all over my hair", you push him away laughing, and he pouts, "You don't love me anymore?".

Your breath hitches in your throat; love was an unknown territory you haven't breached yet with Jeongin. He has never muttered the word before and now he was joking with it nonchalantly as if your heart isn't threatening to fall out of your chest.

You decide to play it off, plastering a smirk on your face while you lay the blanket down, "Who says I love you?".

His hand on your wrist stops you in your tracks. His brown eyes staring expectantly into yours, an unknown emotion dancing in his pupils. "Do you? Love me, I mean", he asks in a quiet voice.

Hope, you realize, that was what he felt looking at you.

"I do", you admit softly, you've known for a while, but you didn't want to confess it in case he didn't feel the same.

"Say it", he says breathlessly, as if the words coming out of your mouth is the oxygen he needs to survive.

"I love you, Innie".

His smile is the widest you've ever seen on his face, it's dazzling and it knocks the breath out of you even more. At that moment, you didn't care if he said it back, as long as he smiled at you this way.

"I love you too, ynnie", he whispers, as if it's a secret meant for the two of you alone. He was always private with his love, wanting those moments to be witnessed by you two alone. It made it all the more special to him.

You pull him in for a kiss, his hand finding your jaw and tugging you to him softly. You both smile into the kiss, laughing when you pull away at how happy you both look.

"Here, before it melts", you hand him the ice cream and he takes it, opening the packet and giving it to you first. You then lay your head on his shoulder as he drapes his arm around you. You both eat the vanilla ice cream, the sound of the waves crashing softly surrounding you in an intimate bubble.

Jeongin closes his eyes, a peace he's never felt before washing over him. He then looks at you, at the stars, at the sea, at the sand, at the ice cream in his hand.

He wanted to commit every detail of this night to his mind so that he could revisit it again when you weren't around. 

[rallentando1011]

hey so can I get a scenario with rottmnt Donnie where he keeps stealing his lovers purple stuff, he notices them not having purple stuff around anymore and one day they are like “yea so I don’t buy purple anymore. Too much stuff is disappearing. Hmmm I wonder where it keeps vanishing too? “ and they give him a knowing smirk?

Purple Habits Die Hard (rise Donnie x gn Reader)

(Hello! Thank you very much for the requests-I am really enjoying them and promise I’m working through them-

I am open to more requests, guidelines are HERE, and I’m not saying that I specifically would like writing some Donatello angst but yes I absolutely would-

Either way, I hope y’all enjoy!)

Word Count: 1082

You didn’t love him anymore. 

That was the only logical conclusion Donnie could reach.

Was he grasping at straws with that hypothesis? Likely. But the fact that there were even straws to grasp in the first place was enough to raise his suspicion.

Data point 1: You hadn’t worn purple in weeks. Not really a commitment, definitely not a symbol of possession, wearing his color was just a symbol that he was in your thoughts. The lack of that implied that he wasn’t plaguing your mind like you did his. At least, that’s what he picked up from it.

Data point 2: You barely invited him to hang out anymore. The last few times you two had seen each other had all been initiated by him, three to be exact, and all of those instances had occurred at the lair. Not your residence, not some fun locale, the lair.

Data point 3: …

Well, to be completely honest, he only had the two. However, how unscientific or illogical his hypothesis was mattered not. 

Something was awry.

And he was going to get to the bottom of it.

A text message drew Donnie out of his downward spiral line of reasoning.It was from you, alleging that you were almost to the lair.

Right. He had been so busy plotting and scheming that he nearly forgot the subject of such endeavors, and that he had invited you over for investigation and/or confrontation.

He needed to get ready.

He tugged off the lavender sweatshirt he’d taken from your place a couple of months ago, the chain of your stolen lilac bracelet jangling as he did so.

Oh yeah. He should probably take that off, too.

He didn’t want to seem like a kleptomaniac.

He barely had time to chuck the articles into the deep recesses of his lab and act like he was busy working on some project before you knocked and entered the room.

“Heya, D.” You plopped down on the desk chair adjacent to his seat and spun around once.

His answer was a disinterested hum.

You summed it up as him being busy and started scrolling on your phone before he spoke up.

“My, what an opulent blue shirt you have on.”

That was an odd comment, and were those hints of disdain in his voice? You continued on anyway. “Uhhh, thanks? It’s just a graphic tee, though..?”

“Oh, don’t undersell it. It’s rather nice.”

“...Okay then.”

You weren’t following. He grew frustrated.

“Yes, it is grand, but would it not look in another, similarly shaded cool color?” He prompted.

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

His eye twitched. You grinned.

You tilted your chair in his direction, tone lightly teasing. You two indulged in some lighthearted banter here and there, and that’s what you thought that was. “What, are you saying it’d look better in purple? Your color?”

“I’m not saying that I interpret the colors of your clothing symbolically, but yes, I do. You haven’t been wearing any of your purple articles recently, you barely invite me over anymore. You can just admit you don’t enjoy my company.” When his gaze fled to the ground, you realized that he was serious about this.

“Donatello…” you started, dipping your neck down so you could make eye contact. “That is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. The reason I haven’t been wearing purple is because I don’t have any purple to wear. Something or someone keeps taking all of it. And, coincidentally, more goes missing every time you come over. That’s why I’ve been hanging out here instead.”

Donnie’s mouth was agape. The thought that he was the one causing his own problems hadn’t crossed his mind. Genuinely, thinking about it, it made a lot of sense. The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself was really ringing true. But he couldn’t let his scientific validity and his dignity die in the same endeavor, so he took the next logical step. Lie.

The softshell swallowed before uncertainly droning, “I haven’t the slightest clue as to what you are implying.”

“I think you’re definitely smart enough to ascertain my implications. And you’re way past smart enough to know that I still love spending time with you even though I’m not wearing a specific color anymore.”

Donnie blinked. Oh. So, you two were cool, and he was actually just being melodramatic. He was still trying to figure out if that was worse than you being sick of him. It probably was. Probably… 

However, he couldn’t dwell on that long. Something you said piqued his interest. The thing about the color of your clothing not holding any symbolic weight.

Expression growing subtly smug with the quirk of an eyebrow, he called your bluff. “If you are taking into account my intelligence, then should you not also observe that I am smart enough to discern the correlation between the formation of our partnership and you coming into possession of more purple attire?”

You blinked before countering with a smirk. “How would you know that I bought more purple clothes if I haven’t been able to wear them?”

Oh, Schrödinger. The only way that he would know, and the reason he did know, was because he had taken them

Regrettably, he mumbled. “... I plead the fifth.”

“Oh no you don’t. Public interest takes precedence over your individual rights, sir. Get subpoenaed, sucker!” You perked up in your seat and pointed an accusatory index finger at the man. “Where are my things?”

He crossed his arms.“You have no definitive proof that it was me. Your argument is circumstantial, at best. Good luck defending that in a court of law.”

Your excitement deflated. “Fine, fine. I suppose I must continue on without wearing purple, our color, forever.”

You batted your eyelashes sadly. It was a cheap tactic, but you weren’t afraid to stoop if it meant you could get your regular Donnie- you meant, wardrobe back. Yeah, you missed your clothes, but you missed having him over more. Probably.

It only took a couple more seconds for him to crack. “Sigh… Hey, completely unrelated segue, but could I come over tomorrow?”

“Suspicious timing, but I’ll allow it.”

“Great.”

“This meeting is adjourned.”

Somehow, by some otherworldly force/the magic of guilt tripping, your violet sweatshirts, t-shirts, accessories, gradually began showing up as the weeks went on.

By the same mysterious impetus, their return coincidentally synchronized with Donnie coming over.

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(this is part 2 of my fic. Enjoy reading!)

Part 1 ↓

JAMESON

Jameson was standing in a maze. Green bushes everywhere. And whichever way he went, the end was green too. Except now. Now, a 5"6' hazel-eyed brunette was standing there.

"Heiress." He tried taking a step toward her, but the distence seemed to stay the same, maybe it was getting bigger. "Where are we?"

"Not we. You. You seem… stuck."

"I'm not stuck. I'm-"

"-fine? Is that your latest lie? Then why am I here, Jameson? again?"

Where was he? And why did Avery seem younger?

"It's not a lie, heiress." Jameson was starting to get angry now, he turned around and started walking away. Avery- or the girl who at least looked like her- spoke louder.

"I'm not her, you know. Maybe the real one doesn't even exist anymore."

"Shut up."

"Maybe she just-"

"Shut up!-"

"Jamie, I'm gonna start yoddling loudly until you get your ass out here!" That was Xander, but Jameson had no regard for a yoddling threat between his gasping for air like a drowning man. Apparently, the things that plagued him during the day had started following him into his sleep now.

He pushed away the sheets and picked up his shirt from the night before. Under it was that box. They same green box. How long had he had it now? An year? Two? And did it matter, really?

You're fine. Just get this done.

-------------------------------------------------

Jameson got dressed and got to the room. He was surprisingly on time, the only reason being Xander making good on his threat to yoddle. He was actually decent at it, but annoying, nonetheless.

"Do you believe you're being paid to arrange a funeral?" Grayson's tone walked the line between a question and an accusation.

"I need this entire-"

"That's enough! Thank you" Lyra inserted herself in the conversation and dragged Grayson away by his arm from the event planners, who went back to doing their thing.

The dinner last night may have been non-existent the last straw a disaster, but this party's going to be epic. Besides, Avery would at least be home for at least a while on her own birthday, right? She'd promised.

Jameson helped himself to one of the appetizers on the long table covered in platinum and shades of violet. He hadn't had breakfast. After everything was set, he excused himself to the garage and tried calling Avery.

"Your call has been-"

"You're call has-"

"You're ca-"

He plunked his phone down with force. Luckily, it landed on the soft leather of the Valkyrie's seat.

"You alright there?" Nash. It was Nash. Why was everyone so concerned all of a sudden? Avery had just missed her own birthday that he'd planned for days. Not a big deal. At all. Janeson rolled down the car's window glass.

"I am fine."

"You're staying to sound more like Gray than Gray used to himself," Nash took that as his cue to get in the passanger seat.

"Whatever you and Avery have going on, just talk to-"

"Do you think I haven't tried?" It came out slow with a hint of frustration. They were face to face now. "There's always another call, there's always another problem, there's always another person expecting the most from her and she's trying to live up to them more and more."

To that, Nash had no answer. They just say like that for a while.

"Try talking to her today. She might just listen." He patted Jamie on the shoulder and got out.

-------------------------------------------------

"I can't feel my faxing legs," Max whispered, sitting in a crouch. After a long day of planning Avery's party, everyone was sitting in a crouch waiting for her to come and surprise her.

"Sit on me, then," Xander whispered back to her.

"Oh, get a room you two!" Libby whisper-yelled at them, just as the door rattled.

"SURPRISE!!"

"Oh, my God!" Said… Mrs. Laughlin, who almost dropped the tray of crab cakes in her hands.

"Ugh. I can't crouch for much longer! Where is this beach?" Max whimpered, kicking her feet.

After two hours, all the dishes were half-empty, the wine half-drunk, and half the people previously in the room had dispersed.

"So-"

"Before you say what your about to say, Gray, just like everyone else in this house, I'm okay, and so is Avery."

Grayson frowned. "I've been where you are, Jamie. If you have to keep telling yourself you're okay, you definitely aren't."

Jameson felt Grayson call out to him as he stormed out walked away.

He was done. He was so done. With his brothers' concern, with Lyra's unnecessary inputs.

With Avery.

The floodgates were open now, just like the door of his bathroom as he slammed it back shut. He was angry, no, frustrated. He was frustrated at the dinner, he was frustrated as he threw the green box from his pocket at the sink, he was frustrated as he felt the mirror shatter beneath his knuckles. He could suddenly see a thousand reflections of himself. But every reflection in every piece of the shattered mirror was a shell of what Jameson Hawthorne used to be. How he used to be.

He staggered back, still staring at his reflections until his back hit the door as he slowly sunk to the floor. And just like that, the tears and the memories came rushing out to the surface.

"Maybe the real one doesn't even exist anymore."

"She told me she's going to make it up to you"

"If you have to keep telling yourself you're okay, you definitely aren't."

"How many times have you had your heart broken over the last five years?"

And with the painful memories and the exploding bottled up feelings came crystal clarity, for the first time in a long time.

I can't do this anymore.

Loving Avery had made him love himself too, it made him realise his self-worth. He got to see what he deserved. But this, right now? He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to pretend to be happy. He didn't deserve to settle for a shell of what him and Avery used to be. He always says he can't imagine a life without Avery, maybe that was never a good thing. He had to start living for himself.

And there was only one way to do that.

[jinngonjin]

I actually got to write chapter 2 (ish) today, it’s still prologue style, following up to the main story (WHICH I PROMISE) will be much more laid back and just fun scenarios. For now, this is the buildup, i’ll briefly go over events and important convos with the occasional flashbacks! might seem a bit rushed for now but i’m justtt (kinda) world building.

NOTE: hunter x oc & crosshair x oc

part 1:

~anyways~

Plot/summary: Hunter and Jyn begin to somewhat warm up to eachother, yet the two of them keep their distance, and their secrets. Meanwhile Hunter begins to suspect that Jyn and Crosshair’s friendship had more to it than sees the eye.

Warnings: (despite not writing pure smut minors DNI !!), suggestive language, friends with benefits, sexual themes, smoking, angst.

-2.4k ish words

It hadn’t been until multiple rotations until Jyn and Hunter’s heated debates began to calm down. It hadn't been until the fortunate coincidence that landed the two of them face to face, each nestled under the steaming rainfall of Jyn’s meditation room.

“So..” Hunter clears his throat “You do this everyday?”

“I’m trying to focus here sergeant”

Jyn’s voice was sharp, but there was a hint of amusement in her tone as she continued to meditate under the showers, seemingly unbothered by the heavy downpour.

The same could not be said about Hunter however, he shifted uncomfortably, the water overwhelming his senses as he struggled to stay still.

Jyn’s teasing tone persisted, “What, you’re getting all worked up over some water?”

But then, as she opened her eyes, her demeanor softened as she recognized his visible discomfort. "Look, Hunter," she said more gently, "I know… this can be overwhelming, especially with your heightened senses.” She wriggles her finger towards the stream. “But it’s important that you don’t let it mess with you, here focus on one thing.”

“Focus on my voice.”

“Forget the water.”

With a firm yet reassuring tone, Jyn's guidance aimed to help Hunter navigate through the sensory overload, urging him to find stability amidst the stimulated storm. She persisted, shifting around the room as Hunter sat right under the stream, eyes closed. “Where am I?” She whispered. Hunter Grunted as she kept repeating the exercise until he got it right. “See, not so bad Sarge” Amused, she chuckles. “You’re doing better than most padawans.”

Reluctantly, Hunter nodded, acknowledging Jyn's guidance. "Thanks," he muttered, his gratitude tinged with a hint of reservation.

However, curiosity gnawed at him, and he couldn't resist asking, "So, why do you visit this meditation room so much?" There was a genuine curiosity in his voice as he searched for an answer. “Since we came back from Coruscant you’ve been practically living in here, I can hear the shower stream all the way to my quarters” He raises an eyebrow, as he couldn't help but wonder what she has on her mind.

Jyn hesitated for a moment, then offered a casual shrug. "Oh, it's nothing," she replied nonchalantly, a practiced lie slipping effortlessly from her lips. But behind her facade, there was a flicker of something more, a hidden truth veiled by her composed demeanor. She proceeded to clear her throat, “The war is hard on all of us Sergeant” With that, the door hissed and Jyn disappeared to her quarters in another effort to bury herself with her thoughts.

Hunter was right. Jyn found herself clouded by a persisting thought, something she accidentally picked up from their mission on Coruscant. As Hunter's question hung in the air, Jyn's mind raced, grappling with an unsettling sensation she couldn't quite begin to articulate. It was a feeling she couldn't shake off, a nagging unease that crept intrusively into her thoughts, plaguing her as she shifted uncomfortably.

She often found comfort in talking to herself, having a conversation back and forth, but she couldn’t risk Hunter hearing this.

This exact thought that pestered her since Coruscant, alone could lead to treason. Jyn knew she was already barely trusted in the Jedi order, one slip up and exile would seem like mercy. she knew this all too well, and it was eating her alive. her visions, her feelings, they were rarely ever wrong. But she could still hear Windu’s thundering voice, “Foce visions are not to be trusted”

“And yet you’re here to train me based on one”

with that Windu concluded their session, refusing to answer straight away. It wasn’t until the next time they met where he briefly acknowledged her persisting comment. “Jyn, all of this, your training, it’s all a gamble.” She knew better than to pester him further, putting an end to this ordeal with a slight nod.

And yet, with deep breaths, she thought to herself.

If it is but a feeling, then why do you tug at it, Jyn?

And why do you suddenly care for the republic’s fate

Jyn immediately brushed that thought away, after all she was still petty, but knew better not to dwell on her past.

Then you must be right, mustn’t you?

She concluded silently, burying the unsettling thoughts deep within her subconscious, where they couldn't threaten her fragile standing within the Order.

But the chancellor Jyn.

You can tell,

He’s a ticking time bomb.

Jyn could not be left with her thoughts alone, an inexplicable force pulled her towards Hunter’s door. She hesitated, but before she could formulate any thoughts the door hissed open.

“General?”

Hunter was dressed in his blacks, it wasn’t often that she saw him without his armor, he seemed somehow more vulnerable, yet at the same time, more captivating. The gentle lighting highlighted his structured face, accentuating his tattoo which seemed darker, more fitting. He rested his hand at the door frame, and lazily leaned to the side. Jyn couldn't help but feel she was invading his privacy, hell– he didn't even have his bandana on, his locks hung loose, still wet, framing his tan, smooth skin. Jyn immediately snapped out of it, realizing she had been basking in his stature, almost committing it to memory.

“I-” She hesitated, clearing her throat. “Hunter, how do you deal with such responsibilities, knowing you’re responsible for something, or for someone?”

Hunter furrowed his brow, his gaze searching hers. “Is this about the squad?”

“Yes,” she lied, her heart pounding in her chest. "But not just that.”

His expression softened, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. “You're doing fine, Jyn,” he reassured her, his voice gentle yet firm. “But really, what is this about?”

Jyn swallowed hard, a knot forming in her throat. She couldn't bring herself to admit the true reason behind her inquiry, and so she insisted. Hunter could tell she was lying. Normally, it was hard for him to pick it up, as she was always composed and in control of her emotions. . But she seemed different, lost. He stepped closer, his presence enveloping her in. “Jyn,” he began softly, “you don’t have to carry the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders alone. We’re a team, remember?” Jyn felt a slight jolt at his sudden sympathy, taken aback by his unexpected warmth. Despite her surprise, she couldn't deny the comfort it brought her. But still, she remained silent, unable to voice the true turmoil that plagued her mind. Instead, she offered a faint smile, grateful for his kindness yet unwilling to falter her act. Sensing her hesitation, Hunter reached out, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Listen, Jyn,” he said earnestly, “sometimes it’s okay not to have all the answers, I don’t know what’s burdening you so much, but you can trust yourself.”

Jyn nodded, feeling a pang of guilt at deceiving him. Despite knowing that she was lying, Hunter offered her advice without hesitation, his sincerity touching her deeply. And as she met his gaze, she silently vowed to confide in him when the time was right, but not with this, no. She could not confide in anyone with this, she couldn’t drag someone down this path.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Jyn and Hunter grew closer, the tension between them seemed to intensify, palpable enough to be felt by the rest of the squad, even by Tech. Hunter found it difficult to be in the vicinity of Jyn without feeling nervous, he couldn’t help but put on a stern act, shoving his feelings even deeper down. But he also couldn’t help but soften in her presence alone, he had found himself meditating with her for reasons he couldn’t explain, he often stayed up just to entertain her everlasting insomnia, offered to watch her train and spar. She plagued his every thought, but at any sign of faltering, Hunter turned cold. Often ignoring her presence to stop the pain tugging on his heartstrings. Hunter would never admit it, he would never let her see his weakness, instead he kept his distance, but yet he gravitated towards her. Only to pull away, struggling, but successful.

But then there was crosshair, seemingly unaffected by the undercurrents swirling around them. Hunter couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he was certain there was something between the two of them. Jyn spent too much time with the sniper, it seemed the two just understood each other, the two of them bitter, cold. To everyone else, they appeared as just friends, bonded by their shared missions and similar demeanor. But Hunter knew better. He could sense it, lurking beneath the surface, a silent understanding between them that spoke volumes. And it infuriated him to no end. He knew that the two of them, despite their transparent friendship, were involved. During shore leave, the two of them always dangerously close, their conversations were never intimate, but their physical affection definitely was. From occasional, playful touches to excuses to be constantly brushing up against each other, Hunter couldn't help but recognize the signs – Jyn and Crosshair were engaging in what he thought to be a no strings attached arrangement, indulging in their physical intimacy without the turmoil of emotional entanglements. With every chance they got to, the two of them would get so carelessly drunk, only to wake up intertwined the next morning. It boiled his blood, to say the least, yet he wished she would come to him, he wished it could be him who relieved her, took her mind off of the war, but he knew. Hunter knew that it was impossible for him to so close to her with his emotions at bay, it was insufferable enough seeing her laugh and twirl her hair, it excited him just to see the way she handled her lightsabers, igniting a fire within him that he dared not act upon. He had to put duty first, but she had become the very bane of his existence. He couldn't help but feel resentment towards crosshair, constantly pestering him until he finally breaks and admits it to his face. Yet he kept his composure with Jyn, not daring to invade her privacy in such a way, he kept silent, painfully, silent.

It had been a long mission, tech busied himself with repairs while Echo and Wrecker ventured towards town in means of gathering supplies. Hunter preferred solitude, opting to spend his time alone as he was possibly sharpening his knives or cleaning his blasters.

Jyn met Crosshair at the little secluded spot he guided her to, pestering her to follow him as he insisted he had something to show her. Obviously, his choice of a laid back spot was none other than the edge of a cliff, Jyn couldn’t hide her amusement as he dragged her to the end of the meadow and sat her down on a smooth boulder that overlooked the skyline of Lessu. It was a beautiful sight, perhaps the most captivating view on Ryloth. Jyn sat on Crosshair’s right, both of them engaging in people watching.

“Unfair cross, you can see much better than me” she grumbled

“Ehh, not much to see anyways, just a bunch of mountains and cities, hmphh… on a second note, what the hell is he wearing?” Crosshair remarked smugly, knowing Jyn had no way of seeing what he was pointing at.

“Must you keep showing off?” Jyn rolls her eyes at the flashy smirk plastered across Crosshair’s face.

Crosshair takes out a small tin box from his belt and opens it, offering Jyn a rolled up cigarette.

Jyn’s eyes widened, “where the hell did you get that” she quickly snatches one, immediately placing it between her lips. “Hell I haven't seen one of those since the lower levels of Coruscant” He chuckles, bringing a lighter up to Jyn’s face as she leaned closer for him to light it up. “Yeah, I even flirted with the vendor, got this cool lighter on the house”

“No wonder why your room is always foggy”

“Oh no, darling, the fog’s just there for my general,” Crosshair retorted with a wink, earning a playful smack from Jyn. “After all, I hear the fog’s pretty romantic.”

With another playful smack, Crosshair pushed further. “What, afraid your hopeless Sergeant would hear?”

Jyn shot him a glare. “Crosshair.”

“I saw you two spending so much time together, hmm? It finally worked out?”

Jyn gave him a questioning look, prompting Crosshair to raise his hands in protest. “Hey, hey! I get it. No strings attached. But, Jyn, it’s friends with benefits. We're still friends, aren't we? I’m only looking out for you. This dance with Hunter—when are you two going to finally spit it out?”

“There's nothing to spit out,” Jyn replied defensively.

Crosshair could only chuckle at that, a wry smile playing at the corners of his lips as he lit another cigarette and flicked the other one to the ground. The two of them sat there in mutual silence, the only sound being the soft crackle of the burning tobacco and the distant hum of the evening breeze. They took long draws of Crosshair’s strange cigarettes, the smoke curling upwards as they watched the sun set on Ryloth, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink.

As the stars began to emerge, each taking its place in the darkening sky, Jyn and Crosshair remained lost in their thoughts. Another day had come to an end, yet the war showed no signs of abating. The exhaustion weighed heavily upon them both, a constant reminder of the relentless struggle they faced.

In the quiet stillness of the evening, they couldn't help but wonder when the war would finally come to an end. With each passing sunset, they found themselves clinging to the hope that peace would soon follow, closing the chapter on a conflict that had consumed their lives for far too long. But as they sat there, gazing at the fading light of day, the uncertainty of the future loomed large, casting a shadow over their weary hearts.

@skellymom @knightprincess @hshfsjzjsgj

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

An Update on the Status of My A03 Fics!

Hihi! I have no idea if anyone who follows this blog reads any of my fics on AO3, but if you do, then you might like to know what the heck is going on with my fics, and why I haven't posted any updates in over six months.

First of all, I am alive! I wrote a lot of fics in the summer of 2022 when I had just gotten active in a fan server on Discord where there was a lot of encouragement to write fanfiction. In the spring of 2023, I started a medical assistantship course, and in order to keep myself focused in class, I turned off notifications for the server. And then I just kind of...didn't turn them back on???? In my defense, I was intimidated by the amount of time it would take for me to backread everything I missed, and that eventually snowballed into me just no longer looking at that server. I should honestly become active in it again, because it did a lot for my writing productivity. I also have a lot of hobbies both in real life and on my computer, and those take up a lot of my time as well. So that's why I didn't post much last year and haven't posted anything yet this year.

But I want to let you all know, that I do fully intend to complete the fanfics I have already started on AO3, and I do intend to write the sequels I promised a year and a half ago.

So without further ado, here is a status report on the incomplete fics and series I have on my AO3:

How to Live With Fire: One of my most popular fics! I have two sequels planned, and a rough idea of what I want to happen in each of them. Both of them are probably going to be only a few chapters long. The delay on this one is mostly on Part 2, since Part 2 has only the vaguest ideas of what I want to do with it (how Mortarion and Vulkan become a longterm couple, and how their legions react to this change). The trouble with this one is, I haven't read any Salamanders novels, let alone ones that take place during the Horus Heresy. I think I will at least have to read Deathfire for this one. I am praying that I don't have to read Vulkan Lives, since I understand that one has less tasty Salamanders content than I would like, and way more John Grammaticus than I find tasteful. But I will still try Deathfire at the very least, if I can find a physical copy at the library or a used bookstore or something.

A Matter of Trust: Another one that's going to end up being a trilogy. I have figured out what happens, now I just need to read the Plague Wars trilogy, because those events are going to be kind of important to the rest of the plot. Again, I'd like to read physical copies of the books so that I can flip through them easily. I'm going to see if I can find copies of the first two novels through the local libraries. Fingers crossed!

Until the Bitter End: Ohhhh, this one's gonna make me cry...this one is mostly hinging on me rereading The Buried Dagger and taking notes. Much lower barrier for entry for this one, since I've read it so often that I mostly remember where to find the events I'm looking for.

Lantern and the Child: This one is going to have like, a billion chapters. It's going to become episodic for a while, but I'm looking forward to it. In this case, it's a case of figuring out which characters I want to introduce. The idea of it being episodic is kind of exciting for me, because it feels like it will be a fun thing to do, and because it goes along with a writing conceit that my co-creator and I have for this AU, that it's the events of a theoretical (very dark) Pokemon anime.

This Once Nearly Was Mine: This one should literally be the easiest one to complete, I am ashamed that I haven't finished it. There's only one chapter left, and I don't even have to come up with all of the events. Again, this one is going to dip into Horus Heresy events that I haven't actually read, but I think I've heard enough from osmosis that I can skip most of it. I just need to, y'know, actually sit down and fucking write it.

Deep's Embrace: I've got an outline! And I've even got some scenes written out! As I type this post, I am preparing to submit chapter 2. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, as you could probably all tell.

Anyway, that's basically it for now. If you have any questions, please let me know! And if you have any friends who you know enjoy my fics but aren't following me or aren't on Tumblr, please link them to this post so that they know just what the hell is going on with me.

[ker18]

Beautiful Disaster (2)

Hello again, friends. I am really into the whole writing thing right now. But, I am no professional and all this is just a work of fan fiction from a wretched, battered soul. There may be absurd grammatical errors within this work, but please be gentle with me... :D

This was in no way intended to hurt or harm. Only to express thoughts in my head.

I do not claim to know anymore than anyone else in the issues plaguing the characters in the fanfic and this is not in anyway related to whatever truth they might actually hold.

With that said... please, enjoy... xD

-Sometime in the Future-

The leaves were rustling and tumbling over each other on the blanket of greens and yellows, the scent markers avid with dawn of the equinox, the tinge of fiery reds eminent in the overhang. The season was already showing signs of the beginning of the end but there she still was, sat on her front porch, looking out into the hibernating world. For five years, it had been hibernating… Five long insufferable years, filled with longing, yearning, and emptiness. For so long, she held on to the hope that there would still be another chance, an opportunity to make things right, a break in the stunt, or a redemption from the solitude.

She could still recall the last minutes, the fleeting moment, the pain – the excruciating grief, the tears, and the last goodbye before the actual fall. The recollection was as vivid as the day itself, no shield from the hurt, still inevitable in the way it came crashing down. For five years, she relived that moment over and over, every hour that dusk rolled by. She would convene herself on the same seat - blanket across her lap, a cup of jasmine tea in hand, thoughts in normalized disarray- and just allow the emotions to flood in.

There was an insincere calm that came with the chaos. First, memories would crash-in of the time when things were happier. The smiles, the dates, the late night talks, the stargazing moments, the promises, the sweet-nothings, the laughs, the hyper-awareness, the water colors, the teasing, the succumbing, the holding-back and then giving-in, the kisses, the touches, the skin-on-skins, the hugs, the warmth, the comfort, the scents, the breaths… the LOVE. All these came tumbling down as soon as the flood gates were released. She’d let them. It was the only way she could feel again. For those few minutes of seclusion, she would allow herself to relive it all and let it seep to revitalize her bones. This was the daily ‘bend before the break’… The instant where the grays showed other hues and she felt perpetual again.

“Babe? I’ll be here. You’ve got me. You know that, right?”

She recalled the cascade of emotions that overtook her the moment she heard those words, coming from the only mouth she could ever want them from. Those sakura lips were her life-force, her only means of survival in the world full of pandemonium. That voice was her voice of reason- the silencer to the unruliness of their day-to-day. Five years ago – and to present – she hadn’t a clue how she would go through every day without hearing that sweet influence. Up to date, her mind still processed that voice, still kept her promise to take the conversations to heart. Pain ensued in her chest where her heart lay, and she let it. Clutching at an imaginary handhold as tears threatened to fall, she moved onto another memory.

“Can you come over? Or should I just make my way to you?... You know what? Pick me up, please?”

Her mind’s eye reread the words and she remembered getting in her car, driving like crazy with one destination in mind. She overlooked the rain, the slippery street, the honks and beeps of traffic as she sped towards her terminus. All she knew at the time was that she needed to be in those arms, just as urgently as their owner needed her to be. She recapped exactly how that night went. As soon as the door was opened to allow her entry into more than just the room, she was enveloped into the warmest embrace. She remembered the whispers of gratitude as the strong arms weaved her into more than just body against her. She felt her heart soar and melt at the same time – melt in to what felt like home. There was no need to move, no need to speak, no need to mind, no need to do anything else but be in each other’s arms… and for that night, they stayed in. There was no rush in those moments, no race to finish anything that they started - there was just them, in the quiet of a room, their thoughts on full display for each other’s regard. Serene touches and sighs, beauty and grace, time and focus, unparalleled devotion were the courters of that night. And, these were welcomed with ardor.

”How could you, Babe? What does this mean for us?” Silent tears drowned the conversation until the silence was broken with the sweetest let down, “I’ll always love you, Babe. But, I can't... I'm sorry..."

The bitterest I love you she’d ever heard was that one right there. It felt like her world came crashing down on her that night, and every night since then. She saw the tortured look of love and betrayal on the face of the only person who had stuck by her through thick and thin. Suddenly, her voice of reason had ran out of reasons – reasons to fight for her, for them –and that’s when she knew that it was over. The sudden emptiness that masked those eyes that she loved, the coldness that radiated from the body she once burned to touch, the brusqueness of the rejection that arose – she felt it all smack her in the middle of her chest. Her heart fell and shattered, and she failed to find herself any excuses to save it from the instant break. ‘Coz she knew she hurt the one she gave it to and there was no greater pain than to see the hurt mirrored at her.

She scoffed and squeezed her eyes tightly shut as tears fell freely at the memory - eyes that had grown tired, but never ran out of sorrow. The sobs racked her body, making her hunch in on herself to pacify the sudden tear she felt in her battered heart. Because, until today, she still felt the ache, she still mourned her loss, she still loved the ghost of her derelict lover. She remembered the incalculable emotions that ran across the face of the one that once was so certain of her – the one that traumatized her the most was the look of agonized love. She couldn’t unsee that but what frustrated her the most was that she chose to walk away without letting herself explain... She was a coward! She was the biggest fool! She shouldn’t have! She shouldn’t have listened to that goodbye and held on. She would have… if she’d only known that it was going to be the last time.

               That was it. That one mistake was what cost her everything. The cross she bore for the past five years was born of that infuriating moment when she chose her pride over the love she had. In the snap of an instant, the click of a button, the turn of a head, and the blink of an eye, it was all gone. And it took her heart with it. The one thing that kept her together was the one thing that fell her. And, woe to her, she knew that it was all her fault. She let the tears fall freely now – crying in the way a forsaken soul would – cascades of lamented water soaking the blanket that was now pulled up to her chin. She bawled and she broke down, like yesterday, like the past months, like the last five years since that fateful day.

“Off to somewhere new... Time to heal.

 But, I’ll always love you…”

The last story she read before the radio silence. The last message to her, broadcasted for all to see. It haunted her and scarred her deeply. She saw and felt the remorse in those words, but also the exigency to leave. She felt the defeat wash over her. She pulled herself away and watched herself crumble and rupture, but she did nothing else to quell the decided.

               For months on end, she fell into a monotonous existence, only doing the bare minimum to survive. She lost time, she lost connections, and she lost herself. But nothing could compare to what she actually lost inside. She still kept on until hope reared its head. Deep within, she hoped - maybe, one day, she’d be given the chance… maybe one day, she’d be able to make things right. Maybe, one day, her love would come back… But, for now, she allowed herself these precious moments. The moments to reminisce and drown her system with actual feelings. She lived for these advent moments where she discovered exactly how much she felt, loved and lost.

               She basked in the ambience. Her lachrymose disposition slowly subsiding as she stared off into the last rays of the sunlight over the horizon. She wiped her tears, gearing up to head inside and resume her morose life.

“Hello? Anyone home?”

Her heart leaped at the voice. It was the voice from her thoughts… the voice she would never forget. The voice that brought a torrent of emotions with it. Her brain seared in anguish, threatening to explode at the seeming reality of that familiar timber. She refused to look for a moment, fear eminent in her chest to find nothing but the phantom of her memory, but her curiosity broke loose and made her turn towards the source of the dulcet voice. And there, time stopped – eyes, nose, lips, hair, smile, and regard… there was Love! She failed at words at first, exasperated joy and pain overcoming her. She stood slowly, air and strength refusing to support her. The speaker walked towards her, climbing the two steps to reach her on the porch, reaching for her hands with sincerity and adoration, familiarity engraved in her sights. When contact was made, calmness ensued…

“Hi…” She finally said, breathlessly, heart in her hands – figuratively but literally. 

[lordkingsmith]

Yea I…am not doing all the wips lol. Some are more active than others but I’m not gonna do all the active ones. I can do a few tho lol

1) pine bell heathens; thirty years ago some humans either transformed or were born as strange Fae like beasts. One of these has reached myth status with a few humans traveling to worship him. He’s just a doctor, albeit exceptionally skilled

2) A Knight As Sweet As Hollyhock Blooms; Star Wars/disney franchises (mainly tangled) crossover set to the story beats of the green knight. It’s Hector/Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade/Savage. Technically first in a trilogy with a planned spinoff but we gotta get this one done first.

3) Radio Static; a farmer and his niece get caught up in matters of the Fae and the occult with a monster hunter bartender and a strange Brownie leading them in a direct challenge against hell itself. Third in a trilogy but each book in the trilogy is mostly standalone

4) the good nurse; anthropormorphic animals live together in a version of a European city in the mid 1800’s. A plague doctor raven and a plague nurse mouse are the main characters and are love interests. In fact, the book is regarding the mouse specifically, Beatrice Buttonmidge. She is a very good nurse.

5) The opposite of destiny or fate is pure coincidence; another Star Wars/disney crossover. Luke and Hector are pretending to be husbands while dealing with the owl house town among other things. Marvel’s franchises will also show up.

6) Cursed; a power rangers fic, about the psycho rangers and the what if scenario of Daniel O’Halloran going from Trek’s enemy and murder victim to personal grid ghost of character development to psycho silver and ally to Trek’s lover. I’m currently animating the kid I came up with writing chapter two. Third and final chapter will be fun to do. Won’t introduce Dusk but it will set up how they get to being his parents

7) Blow a Kiss (Fire a Gun) You Just Need Someone To Lean On; another power rangers fic. World of the Coinless centered, based on a dream. Drakkon clones a long dead Billy to try and draw out a mysterious new ranger causing trouble. Eugene is trying to protect the young clone Bit and not get killed in the crossfire

8) My Kind is Your Kind; world of the Coinless fic, Drakkon has to deal with his own clone, and his kids. Among other things. I’m writing chapter two, it’s been slow going lol

9) Considerations and Wishes and Misses; more power rangers. Billy and Eugene and Spike are squarely in the robotic apocalypse, for better or worse. Spike is in a relationship with Ziggy, and things are as well as one would hope in a world built out of ruins.

10) Is It All Alright Now? And if it’s not, is it All Alright?; power rangers. Jason/Eugene. I need to finish chapter two lol

11) King of Stars/Lord of Luck; a non/disney crossover fic about Prince Lir from Last Unicorn and Nekron from Fire and Ice. Lir unwittingly pisses off and falls in love with the god of luck, becoming a minor god of stars in the process.

12) Your Words As Wicked As Tossed Stones; sequel to #11, their son falls for a poet who eats and takes on the destinies of whoever the poet is in love with at the time, while their daughter is promised to another country’s war god. She starts a world war in protest, and falls for the god anyway.

13) Golden Taffy Apples Caught In My Teeth; power rangers, Spike/Antonio Garcia. Spike was originally meant to be the gold ranger, I had to write something for the two. The almost and the actual.

14) who we are by the waves of time; DC media story. Third in a trilogy. It’s about Orm Marius, Harley’s brother Barry, and Cisco. It is very very much an au lol

15) salt spoons; It's a medieval fantasy story about the temptation of power. It kicks off in a scorched forest with news of an ascension to the throne. Solidago, who’s in the middle of fighting off a few dozen brigands finds out about the kingdom he’s running from has made a very bad mistake wirh who they put on the throne. He kills the band of brigands off and drags the sole survivor Brill along to help fix this mistake. There’s a prophesy involved and unfortunately Brill proved he fits the bill.

Brill would rather not be the tool for Solidago revenge, but when it comes to underwater cavern cities and magic countries resting at the bottom of subterranean lakes well…he’s not really been given much of a choice. Rivals to lovers between Solidago and Brill.

16) lost girls and labyrinths; a girl and her friends have graduated high school, and take the summer to have fun. Wendy accidentally finds a strange maze city in a well populated by trolls and their leader. No romance, just a lot of dark fantasy and mystery with urban fantasy tossed in

17) Errant Hall; gay beauty and the beast, of a sort. The beast found his beauty, to be sure, but he didn’t learn his lesson, and his curse was transferred to his children with the caveat he had to improve or the next child would be even more beastly. The beauty finally left with their sister-who he DID improve for- but the four brothers were left in their home Errant Hall. Story is mainly about the youngest and his love interest Wayland Spark. The youngest is a bunch of different birds.

18) no story for the history books; young witch turning god tells the devil the story of how he used his summer vacation to find his kidnapped half siblings, a poly romance with the guy who did it and a sentient street. Oh and cursing the entire us government in one go. That too.

19) The Dream Train; a 12 year old is made conductor of the magic train that brings dreams and nightmares to everyone in the world

20) l0VrB0i; a hacker gets accidentally contacted by a newly single father. After assuming said father is a porn bot, he gets propositioned. Assumes this is a trick until he ends up in england with the guy, his kid, and an entire summer of a fling and playing family ahead of him. Oops.

This is definitely an open tag lol. Go nuts!

WIP Ask Game

Tagged by @eriquin, thanks!

-> post all of the wip projects you have ( 😬 )

-> let people send asks with a title, and either share a snippet or share something about the story

-> tag as many people as there are wip projects

Honestly, it's slightly better now than before. Gonna leave out the pile of files that are basically 1-2 lines of idea and just include the stuff in my 'active' WIP folder, with the (mostly accurate) file names:

0 - Tales of the Outer Planes

A Brother is Born for Adversity

MFAU 1 - Emergence

MFAU 2 - Ascendant

MFAU 3 - Oblation

MFAU 4 - Fragments

pick up every stitch

Pinocchio K

Til I Lose My Breath

Yeah, that's about the number I figured. Let's get to tagging:

@serpentinegraphite @thefreakandthehair @hairstevington @augment-techs @skyland2703

@hereforanepilogue @gothichimbo @poemsingreenink @anuwubis

[t0shii]

Hiiiiii :D can I request angst to fluff with Bokuto suna and Kyotani where their s/o wanted some food/snakes in the middle of the night so instead of waking the guys up they go by themselves to Store and the guys wake up looking for them and get scared/mad when they can’t find them

ღ — when they wake up alone

.! timeskip! bokuto, suna, kyotani (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ lots of cursing, mentions of eating; not proofread

.! oh wow... i will totally write this for you 😈😈 ty for the request & hope you enjoy- these turned out pretty lengthy huh?

bokuto

bokuto is absolutely beside himself when he wakes up and your side of the bed is cold and empty. quickly he sits up and calls your name, "y/n?? y/n, baby?" no response the crease in his brows deepening with the frown on his lips. "must he in the bathroom or something" he mumbles to himself, clumsily getting out of your shared bed and walking fast to the bathroom down the hall. he knocks on the door quietly, "babe, you in there?" he waits a few seconds before opening the door, only to find the room dark and empty. now he's feeling really nervous, where the hell were you? 'the kitchen?' he thinks but when he gets there it too is empty, he basically tears the whole house apart looking for you, no where to be found. maybe you left him? finally got tired of his immature personality, maybe you just couldn't stand to be with him another minute- even as he slept.

the negative thoughts plagued his brain, so much so in fact, he hadn't even heard the front door of your shared apartment open, or the thud of your snacks hitting the hardwood floor. he hadn't even noticed you make your way toward him, "bokuto, baby, what's wrong?" his head snaps up at the sound of your voice, "y/n? you're back?" he reaches out for you and you stand there hugging him as he sat on the couch, "yeah, i couldn't sleep so i went to get snacks. why are you crying though? did you have a nightmare?" you run your hands through his hair and it calms him down almost immediately. "n-no but i reached for you and you were gone and t-then i couldn't find you anywhere.... i-i thought you left me for good." he hiccups, you feel guilt creep up your chest at his words. "oh bo, baby no! i just didn't wanna wake you since you have a match tomorrow." he sighs, arms wrapping around you tighter, "please just wake me up next time, you really scared me." you promise you won't leave the house without telling him from now on and cheer him up with some of the snacks you bought, and kisses of course.

suna

suna's first feeling is disappointment as he reaches over to pull your body closer to his, still half asleep, but is met with an empty space. he's annoyed but doesn't think too much about it, you probably had use the bathroom or something so you'd be back in no time. it's only when he realizes too much time has gone by and you still weren't in bed he starts to get really irritated and a little nervous, why weren't you back in bed? he groans, throwing the comforter away from his body and stands from the bed, "y/n where the hell did you go?" his voice his hoarse as he calls out for you checking each room in the apartment, only for them to be empty. he curses to himself as he sits on the couch, plenty of emotions running through his veins. it worried him that he had no clue where you were and it pissed him off that you hadn't said anything before you left. even more though, he couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that maybe you left with the purpose of never coming back- it made him uneasy.

he hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch in same position he'd sat down in, the sound of the front door opening snapping him awake almost immediately. all he felt was annoyance, it was nearly 2 am and here you were walking through the front door, paper bags in hand. "where the hell did you go?" the question comes out a little harsher than he'd originally wanted it to but he was too tired to care at this point. you flinch at his question, "uhm to the convenience store? i couldn't sleep so i decided to get snacks and you have a game later so i didn't wanna wake you." he rolls his eyes, "so you leave me to wake up alone? i couldn't find you anywhere- i was worried sick. do you only think about yourself or something?" well shit, he hadn't meant to say that last part. you drop your bags to the ground and immediately suna knows he's fucked up big time. "i-i'm sorry, i just didn't want to wake you up b-because-" you were already breathing heavy, tears staining your cheeks and suna has no idea how he can recover from this.

"oh fuck, baby- i didn't mean to- shit i'm so sorry" he inches closer to you and to his surprise you let him embrace you "i didn't mean to snap at you, i swear. i'm just so tired and i was so fucking worried you weren't gonna come back- god i'm so sorry" he hold you tight in his arms, "i'm sorry too rin, i should've at least left a note, but i knew i wasn't gonna be gone for long so i didn't even think about it." you apologize but he only shushes you, "still, i should have never snapped at you." you nod against his chest, "you really worried me though, i thought that- you know what it doesn't matter, you're back now. let's eat those snacks you brought back, yeah?" the two of you spend the rest of the night eating the snacks you bought and suna holds you close and tight like you'll fade away if he doesn't.

kyotani

kyotani is a heavy sleeper, especially after a long set and he's definitely not a morning person- no matter the time he's woken up. so when he wakes up you side of the bed empty and cold, he already feels him becoming agitated. he rolls over to check his phone, 3:52 am, "what the fuck, y/n" the grumbles, "y/n." he yells, loud but no response, "of course you're gonna make me get up." he scoffs. firstly he searches the living room, he knew that oftentimes, you had trouble sleeping and knowing he hated to be woke up, you would sneak into the living room to watch tv until you were sleepy again but of course you weren't there. you weren't in the kitchen either, and he didn't find you in the bathroom nor on the balcony. kyotani checks his phone, no texts no calls, nothing. he rolls his eyes and throws himself onto the couch refusing to text or call you out of his own stubborn national, plus, what if you were driving? he turns on the tv to distract himself from the pit of anxiety bubbling in his belly, nothing can really stop his thoughts from running wild though, he can't shake the feeling that you weren't coming back and had left him for good, finally tired of his- well everything about him, really.

he thoughts are interrupted when he hears the front door open, relieved to see your face but angry as he remembers you'd left without a word. he frowns standing up to meet you at the front door, apparently you weren't expecting him because you flinch as he makes his presence known by clearing his throat, "oh fuck- kyo you scared me! why are you awake?" he scoffs "oh i scared you? well at least you didn't wake up to an empty house at nearly four am" his tone has you frowning, "i didn't wake you up because you'd be upset with me and i knew you needed rest after your show from earlier." his face softens but still he rolls his eyes and glances at the bags in your hands. "whatever, what's in the bags?" he takes them from you and sets them on the island counter, "i couldn't sleep so i went to get snacks." you follow him to the kitchen, "i got your favorite too." if he was still annoyed before he definitely wasn't anymore, did he even deserve the snacks? he'd just snapped at you minutes earlier. he grunts in acknowledgment, "c'mon, we can eat together, kyo. i'll put on a movie." you grab his hand in one hand and the bags of snacks in the other and lead him to the living room where you both lay on the couch.

his silence is all too loud as you put on a movie you both enjoy, "kyo, is something wrong?" kyotani can't help the tears that form in his eyes as he embraces you tightly, "i was worried about you, you brat. why'd you leave without telling me? you coulda left me a text or something." you're stunned at his sudden outburst, "i was only gone for 30 minutes, kentaro... but still i'm sorry, i should've left a note, but i didn't think you'd wake up while i was gone?" you rub his back and chuckle, "did you miss me that much, baby?" he shakes his head as best he can while it's in the crook of your neck, "i thought you weren't gonna come back." his confession surprises you, "oh... why would i not come back? i love you too much to leave for good." you grin, "really?" "really". the both of you spend the rest of the dark hours of the morning watching movies and eating the snacks you bought all while in a tight embrace.

[kedreeva]

I doubt you need more asks, but I am very pleased that I managed to maintain the tedious dental regimen i am currently prescribed, made and attended the appointment to renew my driver's license, and also made forward progress on writing the academic lecture I have to give next week tha5 has been plaguing me for some time. I'm just relieved to have made any progress at all, on anything.

I am also proud of you! I don't know how many asks I actually have right now, but it's... a lot. I'm happy to receive as many as people send until tomorrow midnight. If I finish 50k on final pack and still have asks leftover from before midnight, well. I have a Steddie Sentinel fic that needs work, and there's some good prompts in my inbox. I'm sure I'll find some way to fulfill my promise :)

BONUS this is my last one for the night, I made it to just over 40k and it's late now. I believe that finishing chapter 6 will take me the rest of the way to 50k for nano, even if there are still 2 more chapters after that before the book is done. But still, I will TAKE 3/4 done on a whole original book draft!!

Under a cut for length!

Dalton scowled, but he turned to face Steve nonetheless. The two glared at one another, lips pursed, before Dalton finally rasped a sigh and threw up his hands in surrender. “Fine. I want-” He straightened up, throwing back his shoulders and visibly steeling himself. “I want you to bite me. Please,” he lumped on the end, an uncomfortable fit on his tongue.

“No,” Steve said flatly, then turned his attention back to Osker. “You seriously brought him all the way out here and endangered both your lives to ask that, when you the answer had to be no?”

“I didn’t know,” Osker said, then immediately waved his hand to brush aside the issue of what he did or did not know. “Look, he’s got a good reason. If you just-”

“No,” Steve repeated in the no-nonsense tone of a parent that wouldn’t brook further argument.

Osker didn’t pay attention to it at all. “If we don’t come back, Rhiley’s going to have someone sent straight to you.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, despite that Rhiley didn’t technically, precisely, know that he was out here alone with Dalton. Or why.

Steve hesitated, looking Osker over. “Are you trying to coerce me?” he asked, incredulous.

“No!” Osker protested, and that was definitely a lie. “I’m not- I’m trying to ask you nicely.” He rubbed a hand over the top of his head in frustration. “But, you know. Coercion is plan B.”

Snorting, Steve motioned to Penny and she hopped back away from them and came quickly to his side. “Stay out here if you want,” he said, as if he could not have cared less. “The crocotta will get you if Marcus doesn’t.”

“Steve,” Osker pleaded as Steve turned away from them. Osker wasn’t sure what he was asking, or if it was even a question, but Steve stopped, tensing. “Can I just- Can I talk to you alone for a minute, please?”

[artsymeeshee]

Hello, Nightmares, My Old Friend

Summary: A new type of nightmare plagues Stan’s mind and he wonders if the nightmare is a sign of what’s to come. But it can’t be. It’s just a nightmare. ....right?

Finally finished the fic I was working on for months on and off :’D It’s going to be blatantly clear I am in NO WAY a writer but eh. I tried. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ There are parts I wished were longer or flowed better but I’m better at dialogue, I guess? I tried to write in past tense but I’m sure there’s some present tense in there as well, whoops ^^; But um... I hope it’s ok! And enjoy some feels! Warnings: Some cussing and not so nice thoughts

Nightmares were not unknown to Stan Pines.

He can say for certain he’s dealt with them a couple of times, even the ones that constantly reoccur. That doesn’t mean they were always easy to handle.

It started out like any normal day out on the Stan O’ War II. Ford explained the plan and course of action with thoroughly calculated notes scrawled on paper. Stan agreed to help with a great deal of chores that needed to be done to speed up the process of getting to explore new territory. 

It was going well.

Too well.

And just like a switch, it flipped into something horrible. Stan had, in more nicer terms, messed up and faced the repercussions. Stan’s misjudgment caused important supplies to go overboard and fall into the watery depths below. After apologizing for the inconvenience to his brother, something about Ford’s demeanor seemed to change and it felt like cold bitterness was seeping out of Ford. Stan hadn’t felt that from Ford since….  He couldn’t even say.

It wasn’t until Stan’s second screw-up accident happened that it shifted into something far worse. Ford’s calculated notes were tarnished with ink after Stan bumped into the ink bottle, causing all the contents to spill out. Ford caught witness to the act and he just… snapped.

“Really, Stanley? Can you do anything without absolutely screwing it up?”

Stan flinched at Ford’s words and his ice cold glare.

“I- I’m sorry, bro. It was an accident, alright?”

“An accident? No, Stan. You don’t have accidents. You have screw-ups. Do you know how long it took me to come up with this thought-out plan?”

Stan gaped at Ford.

“You know, I really thought bringing you with me on this trip would be the best decision I could make. Turns out I was wrong.” Ford goes to turn around but not before giving Stan another cold glare. “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, Stan. Stay out of my life.”

Stan’s whole world went dark and he feels like he’s been chained to the floor. Ford seemed to dissolve into a plume of dark smoke, leaving Stan alone with Ford’s final words echoing back. Stan’s voice hitched and he so desperately reached out, only getting nothing in return.

“Ford, p-please! Please, I’m sorry! I-I can do better, I promise!! Stanford…! I’m sorry! Please don’t leave me…”

Stan woke with a start, jolting straight up and gasping for air. He shut his eyes and tried to calm himself down.

Deep breaths dammit.

He managed to compose himself into a more stable state but the shaking did little to stop. Stan scrubbed at his face with a hand and let out a sigh.

“Damn nightmare….”

He fumbled with the sheets spread haphazardly and reached for his glasses sitting on the shelf nearby. Stan rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses on, taking a moment to let his eyes adjust. He looked over at the alarm clock. 

7:18 a.m.

Not as bad as it could be, though going to bed at 2 a.m. might not have been the ideal time.

Stan groaned and got out of bed. Might as well get up and at ‘em. Plus… going back to bed was not an option for Stan. He slipped into his usual attire of his grey shirt, jeans and red beanie.

Stan’s mind wandered back to his nightmare. He just couldn’t shake that image of Ford’s cold stare and his words…

“Stay out of my life.”

Stan’s chest ached and his stomach twisted into knots. He shook his head before his mind wandered too deep into the nightmare.

“It was just a nightmare. It’s all fake. Just something the old brain decided to do because it was bored.” Stan poked a finger on the side of his head. “Ain’t that right?”

He could try and make a joke out of this but the lingering nightmare was still very much in the forefront of his mind.

I can’t let Ford down. I have to prove to him he didn’t make a mistake asking me to come on this trip. I have to prove I’m useful. No more screw-ups. If I have to keep up this wall, then so be it.

Stan nodded and steeled himself before making his way to the kitchenette where Ford would most likely be. Just as Stan thought, Ford was leaning up against the counter, a mug in one hand and pieces of paper in the other. Ford glanced up at Stan’s arrival and Stan expected to feel that same sense of cold, loathsomeness from his nightmare but instead was greeted with a sense of warmth.

“Morning, Stanley. You’re up early.” Ford’s tone was so much warmer as well and his eyes were filled with light instead of that dark hatred Stan was expecting. The smile was unexpected too.

“Yeah, well. Can never be too early to start thinking about treasure hunting, I say.”

Ford hummed in response before taking a sip of his coffee. “Since you’re mentioned that, I have started making plans to discover what I believe is a mirage island of sorts. I’ve read a few excerpts stating others claimed to have seen it in certain circumstances, a sort of ‘right place, right time’ instance, and if these claims are true then we should be able to see it for ourselves.”

“Any chance of there being treasure?”

“None that I’ve read but it could be a possibility.”

“That’s good enough for me! So whatcha thinking? Plan-wise.”

Ford set the mug aside and rubbed at his chin in thought, very much focused on what Stan could assume was an outline of the plan.

“Seeing how it’s a couple of days journey to said rumored location, we’ll need time to get ready and make sure we have everything, if we’re fortunate to make it.”

“Don’t worry about it, Sixer! You just tell me what needs to get done and we’ll be able to make it in no time flat!” I’ll be sure of it. I’m not gonna screw this up. I can’t risk that.

.    .    .

Couple of hours passed by, the two taking a much needed break from hours of lifting. Stan’s back ached in protest but he wouldn’t allow that to be a set-back, even if his future self is cursing at him right now and is most likely bedridden.

“Alright, that’s done. What else is on the list?”

Ford crossed off a good chunk of the ‘To-do’ list and pondered in thought. “We have a good majority done. I believe we can attend to the rest tomorrow. There are some things I need to sort through to make sure we won’t be missing or forgetting when we arrive.”

“Hey, no need. Just tell me what else needs done and I’ll get it done like that. The sooner the better, right?”

Ford paused and took a glance at Stan. “It’s quite alright, Stan. We can worry about the rest tomorrow. We’ve made good progress so far.”

No. I can’t stop. I’m doing good so far. I can’t mess this up! “How about you go ahead and figure out the rest of the plan and I’ll do the rest of the work. So what else we got?” 

Stan’s hand goes to reach for the list to take a look but Ford held it close to himself, just far enough from Stan’s reach.

“It’s fine, Stan, really. I don’t want you to have to deal with the rest alone. Tomorrow is perfectly okay to get back to it.”

The uneasiness started to settle deep into Stan’s head down to his chest. If he stopped, then he would be failing Ford. If he stopped, then it just proved Stan wasn’t good enough to be by his brother’s side.

“Seriously, Sixer. It’s fine. I’m fine. A little bit of soreness won’t hurt.”

Ford bored his eyes into Stan’s, trying to comprehend this sudden behavior. “Stanley, did something happen? Why this sudden need to do all this work?”

Keep the wall up. Ya gotta keep it up.

“What? Am I not allowed to?”

Ford was taken aback. “No. That is not what I’m implying. Did something happen this morning? Anything at all?”

“Nothing happened. It’s fine.”

“Stanley, you know you can tell me if something happened.”

“I’m telling you, nothing happened.”

Ford knew that wasn’t true at all. Stan’s whole demeanor was off and unlike him. It was one of those moments Ford knew well enough that Stan was being defensive. Stan’s eyes never really met Ford’s and Stan’s hands were clenched into tight fists.

“Talk to me, Stan.”

“Ain’t nothing to talk about, alright? Just drop it.”

“No, I’m not just going to ‘drop it.’ Damn it, Stan! Just tell me what it is!”

“I ain’t gotta tell you shit, Ford. When I tell ya nothing happened, then nothing happened!”

Ford gaped at Stan. He no longer saw fit in keeping the conversation going. “Fine. If you have nothing to say then our conversation is over.”

Ford grabbed the rest of his notes and notebook and headed down the stairs of the kitchenette to his study, the slamming of the door echoing throughout the boat. Stan shuts his eyes and has the sudden urge to just yell. He couldn’t even muster up a word in retaliation.

Idiot. You really did it this time. So much for trying to prove you’re not a fuck-up. 

If Stan wasn’t still fuming with anger or still having the wall up, he would for sure be breaking down. The one thing he was trying so hard to not make a reality ended up becoming that. Sure, what just happened was tame compared to the nightmare but this was only the beginning of what would be the inevitable. He wasn’t shocked, not even disappointed. It was more of a I-knew-it-would-end-up-like-this sort of ordeal. 

Stan sighed. “Ya really did it this time, Stan.”

.    .    .

Complete silence fell for the rest of the day, save for the occasional seagulls and sound of the waves. Stan avoided going into the boat if he could help it. The only times were if he needed a drink or a quick snack, but the knots in his stomach didn’t allow for much of anything. There was a brief moment of not caring and making noise to at least make something to hold him off. Even so, Stan really couldn’t make himself finish. Perhaps giving Ford food as a peace offering might lessen the strain and ignoring phase a bit more bearable.

The thought was probably wishful thinking though.

Stan could no longer stay cooped up outside as the sun finally disappeared for the day and the moon rose to greet the night. He steeled himself before heading down the stairs to their bedroom. He was almost, expecting? Hoping? to see Ford there but the answer proved to be the opposite. Perhaps there was a small sense of relief that washed over Stan but the feeling of “he doesn’t want anything to do with you” took over.

Stan shook his head and took a quick glance toward the study. A small light peeked through underneath the closed door. No matter how many times he’s seen it, Ford’s willingness to stay in that room for hours on end never ceased to amaze Stan but there was always that fondness that came with it. This time was different.

Stan placed his beanie from atop his head to hang over the bed frame. He took another glance towards the study, gulping down his words before turning off the lamp, taking off his glasses to place them by his bed and slipping into the covers.

.  .  .

Stan just couldn’t sleep. It didn’t help that his little fight with Ford and their ignoring each other phase started. Stan could toss and turn all he wanted and keep his eyes shut but there was no indication of sleep happening. He needed a breather, a place to just wallow in self-pity. 

He took a glance at the bunk above him but saw no sign of Ford being there. It wasn’t until Stan saw a light from under the doorway of the study that confirmed the whereabouts of his brother. Well, at least Stan could feel less guilty knowing his inability to sleep wouldn’t wake Ford. Man sure was a light sleeper.

Stan tossed the blanket aside with a sigh and slipped on his slippers and glasses before heading over to his jacket placed lazily on the chair. He took a glance at the alarm clock that read 2:48 a.m. in bright green.

Great.

Stan let out another sigh before fully tugging the jacket on. He made his way up the stairs to the kitchenette but not before cursing internally at himself for stepping on that damn step that always made a loud creak. Stan took a small pause and hoped Ford wouldn't hear but Stan knew there was no way Ford didn’t. There was also that small part of him that wished Ford would speak up and ask if everything was alright.

But Stan needed to keep this wall up. He had to. He couldn’t let it break down. If it did….

Stan shook his head and continued his way up towards the kitchenette and outside. The one thing he knew he could count on was the fresh smell of the salty sea, the sound of the waves lapping at the side of the boat and a gentle breeze lightly tousling his hair as comfort. Stan closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let out a shaky breath before going over to lean against the rail.

How long could he keep this up? And how long could Ford keep up his charade of acting like he actually wanted this and wanted to be around Stan? Was it best to keep living in this fantasy? Was it even fair for Stan to keep Ford from wanting to do what he actually wanted? 

Selfish.

Perhaps he was. Stan needed Ford, he knows that. The scariest part is that he never realized just how much he needed Ford. He never realized how absolutely terrified he was on Ford not being there anymore. Stan always told himself he would be fine when he was up and abandoned again. But now? The very thought was too much.

Stan’s heart rate quickened and it was getting difficult to breathe.

Panic attack.

Panic attacks weren’t a new thing for Stan either. He-he just needed to breathe.

Breathe. Breathe dammit.

Even doing something simple as that was proving to be difficult as his mind was spiraling into too many outcomes when Ford couldn’t keep up his charade anymore and abandon Stan again. It was going to happen eventually, it was inevitable. But how soon? Could their fight have been the final straw? Could this be his final night on the Stan O’ War II? Could this-

“Stanley?”

Stan, mind and all, froze. He took a glance back at Ford, noticing the way Ford’s brows knit in... worry? No, that couldn’t have been it. 

Stan turned his head back around quickly and scrubbed at his face.

“Wh-what uh,” Stan cleared his throat, angry with how vulnerable he sounded. “Whatcha doing up so late?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Is everything alright?”

Of course it ain’t alright. I’m scared you’ll- No. Keep the wall up, idiot.

“Yeah, just uh… needed some air is all. Clear my head.”

Shit. Of course saying that was always a sign for Ford there was more going on.

“Stan, did you need to talk?”

“Ain’t nothin’ to talk about. Just go back to doing your work or at least get some sleep.”

“Stan, if it’s something you need to talk about, you can be open with me. You know that, right?”

Of course I do. I know I can, but I can’t right now because I know you’ll just-

“If you want to talk, I’m more than willing to listen. Or if you want to just sit in silence, we can do that too.”

Stan kept quiet, the longing feeling of wanting Ford to be right there next to him gnawing at him.

“But if you need space, I’ll respect your wishes and leave you alone.”

Loneliness. Cold. Fear. Please don’t leave...

Stan patted the rail to his left, an invitation for Ford to join. It was a small act but an act big enough for Ford to give a small smile and stand alongside Stan, giving enough space between them both.

Ford rests his arms on top of the railing, looking out towards the sea, the reflection of the moon dancing on the ocean’s surface. Silence, save for the occasional sounds of the waves lapping against the boat. Ford took a quick side glance over to Stan, noting how Stan’s form seemed tense and holding himself in a protective way, the way his shoulders were hunched over and repeatedly gripped the rail with his nails and letting go.

“Stanley, you trust me, right?”

Stan’s repeated action ceased almost immediately and he looked over at Ford, Stan’s face giving an incredulous look.

“What kind of- Of course I trust you!”

Despite the tense situation, Ford let out a smile. “Good. Because I trust you too. I trust you enough to talk to you about certain things, even if they are difficult for me to articulate. And I know you trust me enough to do the same.” Ford’s smile falters and his eyebrows knit in worry again. “If there’s something going on that I can help with, please tell me. Let me help, Stan.”

Stan has the sudden urge to break down and let out every thought, every emotion he’s feeling but this damn wall won’t allow it. He doesn’t know if he should feel frustrated about it or okay with it. Stan looks away in shame; he can’t muster up a damn word.

“Is it about our fight?”

The question uttered was quiet but loud enough to leave a heavy impact. Stan seemed to hunch in on himself even tighter. Ford doesn’t push it. He waits for Stan to say something because Ford knows Stan needs time to process what’s going on in his mind. It takes a few minutes but Stan managed a small nod.

“I want you to know that I’m not mad at you, Stan. I’m sorry if I made it seem like I hate you. Believe me when I say far from it. I would never hate you for some small misunderstanding we had. You got defensive and not telling me why upset me and it spiraled into something it should not have. We’re going to disagree and have little arguments here and there but I don’t want us to leave feeling bitter towards each other. I truly am sorry.”

It goes silent between the two of them until Stan cleared his throat and uttered a “‘m sorry too.” It may not seem like much but Ford appreciated it.

“That’s not… that’s not the only reason,” Stan muttered.

“It isn’t? What else?”

I can’t-I can’t do this. Why did I say that?? Ya shoulda just kept your stupid mouth shut, you-

A hand rested on Stan’s shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. Ford can feel just how tense Stan was but also how he relaxed almost instantly to Ford’s touch. “Stanley? You can tell me, okay? I promise.”

The wall Stan was so keen on keeping up started to break down and it almost terrifies him. It was supposed to keep him safe. 

...right?

Stan lets out a shaky sigh. “I uh… had a nightmare this morning. Yesterday morning? Eh, you get it. It shouldn’t have gotten to me as much as it did. I know it was just because my brain decided to torture me a little. And I know it’s a lie but I…. Shit.”

Ford squeezes Stan’s shoulder, letting him know it’s okay to continue and take a breather if need be.

Stan swallowed thickly and continued,“I shouldn’t be surprised if it does end up happening. I know it will. Heh. I tend to screw things up anyway.”

Ford’s grip tightened. “That’s not true. At all.”

Stan takes a small glance towards Ford, his expression sincere. Stan turns away, scrubbing at his face while his other hand grips into a tight fist.

“I… I did something stupid and that’s when… that’s when you decided you had enough of me. You had enough of your no-good brother ruining everything again and decided you wanted nothing to do with me. You wanted me out of your life.”

Ford’s grip suddenly goes slack and he lets his hand fall to his side.

Stan continued, “And I wouldn’t blame you, ya know? To be honest, I thought you would have let me go months ago. I know you’re only on here because you want to make up for lost time and feel like you owe me. It’s not what you really want though, right? I shouldn’t be the one to hold you back, Ford. I’ve done that too much already. That’s why I wanted to do all of that work because I wanted to prove to you that I am worthy enough to be by your side, to not be useless. But let’s face it, I am useless.”

Ford’s chest ached. Man, did it ache. To think that a nightmare was so bad it made his brother question his own self-worth and question if Ford even wanted to be with him. Of course he did! Stan was right that Ford wanted to make up for lost time but he also wanted Stan with him. Stan was his anchor just as much as Ford was for Stan and the thought of no longer having that terrified Ford. He couldn’t even begin to imagine doing this without Stan. Even if they weren’t out here, just being with his brother was all Ford could have ever wanted.

Ford gaped at Stan until finally finding the courage to speak. “Stanley? Stanley, please look at me.”

Stan didn't stir and refused to look at Ford, even when Ford placed his hand back on his shoulder. Ford managed to get Stan to face him but Stan’s eyes still refused to look at Ford’s.

“Please listen to what I have to say, Stan. Just me. I don’t want your mind to muddle your thoughts with my words. Listen to my words and my words only, okay?”

Stan nods hesitantly but it’s progress.

“What nightmare-me said, it’s not true. None of it is. There are things you do that surprise me and make me proud almost every day. I want you here with me, Stanley. Believe me when I tell you that you are not holding me back from doing what I really want. I’m doing what I always wanted to do. Past me was just too stubborn and blind to realize that. Remember it was you I asked to go sailing with. No one else, right?” Ford tilted his head so he could get into Stan’s view. “Right?”

The corner of Stan’s lips twitched upward slightly. “Right.”

“And I mean every word. This is the happiest I’ve been for a long time. You are not going anywhere and I am not going anywhere either. You are not the lesser twin, Stan. We have our own personal strengths but we will always be equals. I’ll be sure to remind you of that whenever doubts creep up. You will never be useless to me. I hate how you think that of yourself, but I will always be there to tell you how amazing of a brother you are and how I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are my hero, Stanley. And if ever need be, I’ll be your hero too.”

Stan feels tears threatening to spill over when the wall he was desperate to keep up crumbled down completely. He shut his eyes tight and clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle a sob crawling its way out of his throat.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me leaving. Ever. Wherever we go, we go together.”

This time, Stan didn't even bother to hold back as his shoulders shook and he let out a sob. Ford pulled Stan close to his chest as his arms wrapped around Stan in a hug and cupped the back of his head with one hand. Stan desperately clung onto Ford, hiding his face near the crook of Ford’s neck. 

"Shh. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Ford’s heart ached listening to his brother’s sobs but he knows it’s what Stan needed. Ford kept a tight hold on his brother, giving the occasional reassuring words of “I’m here, I’m here” and “It’ll be okay, I promise.” They stand there embraced in each other's presence as Stan lets out all pent up emotions.

After what seems like an hour, Stan has calmed down to a couple of sniffles here and there but he refused to let go of Ford, albeit his grip wasn’t as tight now.

“You alright?” Ford asks.

Stan cleared his throat. “Y-yeah. ‘m better. Thank you, Ford. Really.”

Ford tightened the hug. “Anytime, Stanley.”

[junghelioseok]

clandestine. | 02

↳ forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

◇ jungkook x reader ◇ smut | fluff | brother’s best friend!au ◇ 7k [2/6]

notes: looks like it’s a writing/editing kinda day, folks! hope you enjoy this installment, and let me know what you think! 

warnings: jk’s massive noona kink: a recurring yet warranted warning, jeon jungkook is a goddamn tease, smuuuut, oral (f receiving), jk’s got a big dick whoOPS, minimally edited bc i’m feeling lazy

⇢ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 

Morning brings with it bright sunshine and fresh horror as the events of the previous evening come rushing back. You aren’t sure you’ll ever be able to look Jeon Jungkook in the eye again—or at least, not without being reminded of the way he’d plagued every single one of your dreams with devilish eyes and even more devilish fingers. Groaning, you scrub at your temples, as if that will help dispel the memories. After a few fruitless moments, you crawl out of bed and head for the bathroom, intent on washing everything away with a good, cold shower.

Try as you might, though, you simply cannot avoid your dark-haired neighbor. You’re in the kitchen sipping at your second coffee of the day and debating what you want for lunch when there’s a knock on the front door—a familiar rhythm that has your heart stuttering. “It’s open!” Jimin yells from the living room, and a moment later, the devil himself strolls in, wearing a plain black t-shirt with ripped jeans and well-worn Timberlands. Vaguely, you wonder when he made the switch from white tees to black, but your musings are cut short when he spots you in the kitchen, an impish grin settling across his face.

“Hey, Noona.”

“Hey.” You thank whatever god may be out there that your voice is steady. “Jimin’s in the living room.”

Jungkook tilts his head coyly and takes a step forward. “What makes you think I’m here for Jimin? Maybe I came to see you.”

Anxiously, you swallow down the memories of his warm hands that are trying to resurface. “I highly doubt that.”

“Really?” Jungkook takes another step forward and plucks the coffee mug from your hands. “What if I came over to finish what I started last night?”

Heat floods across your face. “That—that was… I mean, I don’t—”

“You don’t what?” Jungkook asks, raising a brow. “Want me? Because I’m pretty sure that’s a lie, Noona.” Quietly, he closes the last bit of distance between you, and when he speaks again you can feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks with every word. “You see, I think you want me. Just as much as I want you. Am I wrong?”

“Jungkook, we—”

“Dude, what’s taking you so long?” Jimin’s head suddenly pops around the doorway, and you nearly jump out of your skin in your effort to put some distance between you and your dark-haired neighbor. “I’m about to start the game without you.”

“Just wanted to grab some coffee and say hi to {Name},” Jungkook replies, raising your half-empty mug to his lips and taking a sip. “Did you want to join us, Noona? It’d be fun to watch you kick Jimin’s ass at Mario Kart again.”

You swallow, hard. “I can’t. I’ve got homework to do.” Not strictly true, perhaps, but you’d been planning on looking over the details of your internship again at some point, and now seems as good a time as any. “Sorry,” you add quickly, seeing Jungkook’s disbelieving expression.

“Summer homework? Gross.” Jimin pulls a face. “You’re still coming to Tae’s party though, right?”

You nod, unwillingly catching Jungkook’s eye again. He’s still sipping at your coffee, and you don’t miss the flagrant wink he shoots you over the rim of the cup. “See you later then, Noona,” he says, his voice practically a purr.

“Right,” you respond dully, your heart skipping a beat at the dark promise in his stare. “Later.”

Jimin and Jungkook disappear down the hall, but you remain rooted in the kitchen for a few minutes longer, listening as the music of whatever video game they’ve decided on starts playing from the living room. Heaving a sigh, you fetch a new mug from the cupboard and pour yourself some more coffee, grabbing an apple and a bag of chips as well. Taking everything up to your bedroom, you pull out your laptop and make yourself comfortable on your bed, plugging in some headphones to drown out the noise from downstairs. With any luck, you won’t have to see Jungkook again until you have to leave for Taehyung’s party, and you’re pretty sure that it’ll be easy to avoid him once you’re there.

In fact, you’re certain of it.

So with that thought in mind, you settle down with your coffee and open up Netflix, sinking into the pillows and pushing your dark-haired neighbor into the deepest recesses of your mind. It isn’t until your phone starts vibrating insistently against your thigh that you are startled out of your binge-watching, the screen lit up with two new notifications. Surprised, you realize that hours have passed, the sky outside your window deepening into the hazy blue of nighttime.

[6:02pm] Jungkook: you hungry, noona?

[6:02pm] Jungkook: for pizza, i mean. we ordered dinner

[6:03pm] Jungkook: but i’ll be your dessert if you want me ;)

You drop your phone as if burned, his final message playing over and over in your mind. It takes you a full minute to gather your wits again, stowing your device in your pocket without responding and carefully picking your way downstairs. Already, you can smell the cheesy grease, your stomach growling in anticipation.

Just grab the pizza and go, you think to yourself, formulating your escape plan and double-checking it for any holes. Dine and dash.

You’re walking past the foyer when there’s suddenly a knock on the front door. Curiously, you answer it, swinging it open to see a familiar grinning face standing on the doorstep. Lee Taemin is a good friend of Jimin’s, and your brother pokes his head out from the kitchen at the sound of your greeting, clearly expecting the new guest.

“Taemin! Get in here and have some pizza,” Jimin says, his mouth full. “You too, Noona. We got plenty.”

Instead of immediately heading for the food, Taemin wraps you in a hug that has you wheezing for air. “Long time no see, huh? How’ve you been?”

You squirm in his tight embrace, raised to your tiptoes. “Put me down, you heathen. I’m fine right now, but I won’t be if you suffocate me.”

Taemin chortles good-naturedly and releases his grip, ruffling your hair. “Good to see you too, {Name}. Honestly, it hasn’t been the same around here without you. How long are you back for? The whole summer?”

You shake your head. “Just a couple weeks. I’ve got to get back for an internship.”

“Already a hotshot, huh?” Taemin grins. “What are you going to be doing?”

The topic of your summer job is a welcome distraction from the way Jungkook’s dark gaze trails after you as you tread into the kitchen alongside Taemin, slapping two slices of pizza onto a plate and glancing around for a napkin. You can feel his eyes boring into the back of your skull, prickling your skin with electricity, but continue your conversation with Taemin as if nothing is amiss.

“You gonna sit down or what?” Taemin gives you a quizzical glance as he pulls a chair out from the table, joining Jimin and Jungkook who are already seated. You do your best to ignore the way Jungkook’s jaw flexes with every chew, somehow managing to look infuriatingly handsome despite the mouth full of dough and pizza grease staining his chin.

“I—” Your mind whirs, searching for the excuse you had planned. “—I still have some work to do. Reading and whatnot.”

“Nerd,” Jimin snorts.

Taemin shrugs. “Okay, then. Suit yourself, I guess.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything. But you feel his eyes burning into your skin as you head back upstairs, and it isn’t until you are safely back in your bedroom, sagging against the closed door, that you can finally breathe properly again.

///

You end up departing for the party nearly twenty minutes after the official start time of eight o’clock, caving to Jimin’s insistence on being fashionably late. Personally, you think he just wanted the extra time to work on his hair—making sure every strand is perfectly, effortlessly tousled—and call him out on it as he locks the front door behind you.

“I didn’t spend that long on my hair,” Jimin sniffs defensively. “Besides, you’re the one who needed to run back in and get your wallet. What do you even need your wallet for? We’re walking like, four blocks.”

“Better safe than sorry,” you retort. “What if I get murdered and they need to identify my body? What if I get mugged? You never know!”

Taemin falls into step beside you. “What if we need to tip a stripper?” he chimes in.

You nod and raise your hand for a high-five without taking your eyes off your brother. “Exactly! You have to tip your sex workers, Chim!”

Jimin waggles a suggestive eyebrow. “I think I’d rather give them a different ti—”

You push him off the sidewalk before he can finish speaking, pulling a face as he stumbles into the street in a fit of laughter. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence, you perv!”

The remainder of the short walk to Taehyung’s house passes uneventfully. Jimin doesn’t bother knocking, throwing open the door like he owns the place, and you trail after him with Taemin and Jungkook on your heels. Immediately, you’re assailed by a cacophonous sea of conversation and thumping music, people milling around in the dimly lit interior.

“There you are!” The voice comes from your left, and you barely have time to register the speaker’s face before she’s gasping and engulfing you in a hug. “{Name}, you made it! Hi!”

You laugh, squeezing her back. “Hi, Chaeyoung. It’s good to see you. Sorry I didn’t catch you at graduation.”

“Oh please,” she says, waving you off. “We have all the time in the world to catch up now. Let’s get you away from these boys and find you a drink, shall we?” Flipping a lock of strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, she loops her arm through yours and begins steering you toward the kitchen. “So what are you in the mood for? The beer’s shit, so I’d stay away from anything in the cooler, but everything else is actually drinkable.”

“Shocking,” you remark, peering at the mess of bottles and cups lining the kitchen counter. There’s a massive bowl of a horrifyingly neon green concoction as well, and you take one whiff before backing away again, nose wrinkling in disgust. “I see Tae’s still making punch.”

“I wouldn’t touch that if I were you,” Chaeyoung advises. “He’s somehow managed to make it twice as sugary and three times more alcoholic than last year’s. Pretty sure it’s worse than moonshine at this point.”

You grin and locate an empty cup, raising it in her direction. “Thanks for the heads up.”

Chaeyoung refills her own drink, and you settle on a simple blend of cranberry juice and vodka. Together, you head back in the direction of the living room, where Jisoo and Lisa are chattering away on a couch in the corner. They look up at your arrival, greeting you with smiles and hugs, and quickly usher you into a seat beside them.

“So,” Jisoo begins, leaning forward. “How’s college?”

“Tell us everything,” Lisa adds, propping her chin in her palm. “Is it nice living away from home?”

Jisoo waggles her brows. “Forget that. Have you met any guys?”

Unbidden, Jungkook springs to the forefront of your mind, dark eyes staring at you from beneath equally dark hair as he leans down, down, down—

“Nope!” you blurt before your thoughts can progress any further. “I mean, I share a suite with a couple guys, but that doesn’t count.”

“Are they cute?” Lisa prods.

“They must be more mature than these high school boys,” Chaeyoung sighs.

“Hardly,” you snort. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

The gossip continues. More people arrive as the night wears on, the living room filling up with dancing bodies. A few girls you don’t know join in your conversation, perching on armrests and ottomans and the carpeted floor as a last resort. Across the hall in the dining room, you spot Taemin setting up a table for beer pong, a triumphant shout going up when Taehyung procures an unopened package of balls from somewhere in the hall closet.

“This is gonna be tournament style, got it?” he announces as he tears the package open. “Winner goes up against the undefeated champs—Jungkook and Yugyeom!”

Even from your comfy seat on the couch, you can see the arrogant twist of Jungkook’s mouth as he leans over to give Yugyeom a high-five. You can’t tear your eyes away from the way he tongues his cheek, lounging back into a chair to watch the first round of the game. Jimin steps forward alongside Taehyung, and you watch as your brother scrutinizes the pyramid of cups, poised to make a throw that lifts his shirt just enough to expose a flash of his admittedly toned abdomen.

“He wore that shirt on purpose,” Jisoo accuses, and you huff out a sound that’s more snort than laugh.

“Please, it’s just the only shirt he owns that isn’t dirty. Trust me.”

“I don’t even care,” another girl you don’t know the name of pipes up. “I’d still let him blow my back out.”

You grimace. “And on that note, I suddenly need another drink,” you announce, to giggles. Wrenching out of your cozy seat between Jisoo and Lisa, you wave your near empty cup in farewell and make your way toward the kitchen, carefully skirting around the dancers and beer pong spectators spilling out into the hallway.

The kitchen is deserted when you walk in, everyone having flocked to the dining room to watch the beer pong tournament. Humming along to the music, you open up the fridge and survey its contents, hoping to find something decent. Curiously, you pick your way past a few cans before turning a dark glass bottle around to read the label.

“Are you avoiding me, Noona?”

The voice comes from behind you, deep and sinfully resonant, and you don’t even have to turn around to know that he’s standing just inches away. His breath ruffles through the hair at the nape of your neck, sending gooseflesh prickling across your skin, and when strong hands curl gently around your hips you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“I missed you, y’know,” he continues, his mouth finding its way to your ear and nipping lightly at the lobe. “You didn’t talk to me all day, even though I was right there in your house. Ran like a scared little rabbit when you saw me in the kitchen, didn’t you?” Softly, his lips ghost along the column of your throat, pressing a kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder. “So, now what? Are you gonna run from me again?”

You don’t think you could if you tried. Your feet are rooted firmly in place, your entire body frozen as you await whatever he’ll do next. And when he urges you to spin around and face him, you obey immediately, your hands coming up to splay against his chest as he presses even closer and rewards your compliance with a kiss.

“Jungkook,” you breathe against his parted lips. “Jungkook, god.”

Slowly, he trails down your neck, leaving soft nips in his wake. “Yes, Noona?”

“We can’t,” you whisper, even as your head falls back to allow him more access to your clavicle. “Jungkook, we can’t do this.”

Your companion raises his head then, his dark gaze meeting yours. “Tell me to stop,” he says quietly. His thumbs dip beneath the hem of your shirt, rubbing circles into the soft skin of your waist, and you inhale sharply at the feeling. “If that’s what you want, Noona, just tell me to stop and I will. I promise.”

He’s palming along your hips now. The warmth of his palms seeps into your body, rendering it increasingly difficult to concentrate. His mouth returns to your neck as he awaits your answer, and you don’t miss the way his lips curl into a smirk against the delicate skin of your collarbone when you hesitate a moment too long.

“Well, Noona?”

Fuck it. Your arms wind around his neck, pulling him closer until there’s no space left between your bodies. “Jungkook, kiss me,” you breathe, throwing all remaining remnants of caution to the wind.

Jungkook straightens up to his full height, his smirk widening. “Anything for you, princess,” he remarks before leaning down, winding one hand in your hair and finding purchase in the curve of your waist with the other. The newfound pet name ignites a tendril of heat in the pit of your belly, and when Jungkook finally closes the gap between your lips, you release a breathy moan that he eagerly swallows. The hand in your hair tightens its grip to pull you even closer, tongues and teeth clashing as he deepens the kiss.

It’s only when the need for air becomes critical that you break away from him with a gasp, your lungs aching. Jungkook isn’t faring much better, his chest heaving beneath the thin white material of his t-shirt. He releases his grip on your hair, his thumb grazing across your cheek gently instead, and when he leans in to plant another kiss on your mouth, you exhale shakily. “God, Jungkook.”

His arm tightens around your waist. “What do you need, princess?” he asks, and you can’t deny your delight at his continued use of the nickname. His teeth find the lobe of your ear again, and you release a breathy moan as he delivers a particularly sharp nip to the soft flesh before pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive spot just below it. “Tell me. Tell me, and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you anything you want.”

You slide your hands along his broad shoulders and up to his nape, brushing the silver hoops in his ears before tangling your fingers in his silky hair. “You’re teasing me.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue and pulls away, your arms falling uselessly to your sides as he takes a step back. “I just need to hear you say it, Noona,” he chides, his voice leaving no room for disobedience. “I need to hear you say that you want this. That you want me.”

A shiver dances up your spine, and you aren’t sure whether it’s due to his wicked lilt or the sudden absence of his body heat. “I want you,” you whisper, reaching out to touch him. “Jungkook, please.”

The smirk that spreads across his face is absolutely devastating. “Then come with me,” he commands softly, taking your hand and lacing your fingers together. You leave behind the thumping music and the loud chatter of the party, allowing Jungkook to pull you into one of several rooms lining the hallway and squeaking when he shuts the door and immediately pins you against it. His mouth slants across yours, hot and urgent, and you moan into the kiss as your hands fly up to grip his shoulders.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” Jungkook breathes, pulling away just enough to whisper the words against your lips. “Fuck, princess, look at this tiny little skirt you’re wearing. You’ve been killing me all night, you know that?”

He punctuates the words with another kiss, nipping harshly at your bottom lip. His hands slide down to the curve of your ass, and you gasp when he scoops you up effortlessly. “Legs around my waist,” he orders, readjusting his grip as he begins walking you further into the room.

It’s the laundry room, you realize upon closer inspection. Jungkook’s busy mouthing at your neck, but he breaks away with a smirk when he finally reaches his destination, plopping you down atop the cool metal of the washing machine. “Shame there’s nothing in here,” he remarks, kicking the side softly. “I really wanna fuck you with this thing running one day. But for now…” His smirk widens, his hands settling on your knees. “This’ll do.”

In an instant, he’s pushed up your skirt and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your panties, tugging them down and off your legs. He drops to his knees, smoothing his hands along your inner thighs, and your cheeks flush when he urges you to spread them further. “Jungkook—“ you mumble, thoroughly embarrassed as he stares reverently at your exposed core, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. “Quit staring at me like that.”

“I can’t help it,” he murmurs, leaning in and pressing a soft trail of kisses along your thigh. “You’re so beautiful, Noona.”

“You…”

You trail off, unsure of what to say. What do you say when your little brother’s best friend is staring at you like you’re a desert oasis and he’s been wandering, dehydrated, for days? What do you say when the scrawny neighbor kid you’d grown up with is caressing every inch of your legs, soothing the soft skin with his fingers and lips?

What do you say when you realize, once and for all, that Jeon Jungkook is undoubtedly—unabashedly—a man now?

You swallow, hard. Jungkook is nearing your core now, his hair tickling your thighs, and you gasp when he slides a finger up your slit experimentally. “You’re so wet,” he breathes. “So wet, and so—” He touches the pad of his finger to his tongue, grinning up at you as he laps up your essence. “—delicious. Fuck. You’re the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

And then he leans forward, boldly licking a stripe up the length of your entrance. Strong arms wind around your legs to hold you open, and when he shoves his face even deeper, his nose brushing against your clit, you let out a strangled whimper. “Fuck, Jungkook—”

The sound of his name draws a pleased hum from the young man nestled between your thighs, rumbling through his chest and straight to your core. Your walls clench, but Jungkook stubbornly refuses to dip his tongue inside. Instead, he teases at your folds, spreading them apart with two fingers and licking ardently at your leaking juices before kissing a short trail up to your clit. “Can you cum like this?” he asks curiously, thumbing across the sensitive bundle of nerves.

His answer comes in the form of a breathy gasp, your hips jerking upward to seek out more friction. Jungkook chuckles and obliges your silent request, dark eyes flickering up to meet yours as he begins rubbing slow circles around your bud. “Guess that’s a yes,” he murmurs, pressing yet another kiss to your thigh. His gaze remains locked on yours as he rubs a little harder, dragging your juices up from your slit and digging in deep until you are moaning aloud, your hands coming down to fist in his silky hair.

“I-I’m close,” you keen. “Please, Jungkook, please.”

Jungkook hums and leans back. At the same time, he slides two fingers inside you, curling them upward, and the sudden surge of fullness is more than enough to tip you over the edge. His name escapes your lips in a garbled moan, your walls spasming around his hand as he continues teasing your clit, drawing out your orgasm until you finally whine from oversensitivity and bat him away. Obediently, he withdraws, rising to his feet so that he towers over you once more.

“Holy fuck,” he murmurs, staring down at you with an expression caught somewhere between awestruck wonder and unbridled hunger. “You’re so pretty when you cum. So pretty and perfect and—” He swallows, his throat bobbing harshly. “God, I need to fuck you. Can I fuck you now, Noona? Will you let me stretch open this pretty little pussy and fill you up with my cock?”

Your breath hitches. Never in a million years could you have imagined that your brother’s mild-mannered best friend could have such a filthy mouth, but you cannot hide the way your core clenches at his words. Slowly, you raise your arms, winding them around his neck to pull him closer. “Yes,” you whisper, brushing your lips against his. “Fuck me, Jungkook.”

A groan escapes him, deep and cavernous in a way that sends heat spiking through your veins. Jungkook doesn’t waste any time, his mouth chasing after yours as one hand finds the back of your head, pulling you into a bruising kiss. The other slides down to the waistband of his jeans, freeing himself from the confines of the denim. He doesn’t break the kiss for a moment, even as he grabs your hips and pulls you closer. It isn’t until you’re seated on the very edge of the washing machine, wrapping your legs around his waist to steady yourself, that you pull away and let your gaze fall to his newly revealed cock. Jungkook is long and deliciously thick, and you let out a shaky breath when you see the pearlescent white drops beading at the swollen tip.

“Oh my god.” The words bubble up automatically, escaping you in an airy whisper. “How are you so big?”

Jungkook huffs out a hoarse chuckle, amusement glittering in his dark irises. “Think you can take all of me, princess?”

Your gaze falls down to his length again, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. “Put on a condom, and let’s find out.”

Jungkook grins and produces a little foil wrapper from somewhere in his back pocket, tearing into it with his teeth. You help him roll the condom over his cock, and as soon as it’s in place, he’s lining himself up and pushing inside you. A deep groan escapes him as he parts your walls inch by torturous inch, and you moan as your pussy is stretched to its limit, molding to his shape and sheer size. By the time he bottoms out, he’s almost prodding at your cervix, and you grab breathlessly at his bicep.

“I—I need a minute,” you gasp, your body spasming around him as you fight to adjust to the surge of fullness.

“Me too,” Jungkook rasps, his voice strained. His eyes flutter shut as he inhales deeply through his nose, cursing again when you clench around him unconsciously. “Fuck. You’re so tight.”

For a few moments, there’s only the sound of Jungkook’s labored breathing, his head falling forward to rest on your shoulder. His breath is hot against the exposed skin of your clavicle, and you sigh when you feel him mouthing at the delicate skin, nipping softly before soothing across it with his tongue.

At the sound, Jungkook raises his head, dark eyes meeting yours before dropping down to where the two of you are joined. “God, you look so good like this,” he murmurs, licking his lips. “So pretty, stuffed full of my cock.”

You clench around him again—this time more purposefully. Jungkook’s mouth falls open, a silent question on the tip of his tongue, and you answer it with a deliberate roll of your hips, wordlessly encouraging him to move. Gingerly, he obeys, retreating until only the head of his erection remains inside you. His hand drops down to your clit, and you keen out his name when he surges forward at the same time he flicks his thumb across the sensitive nub. Pleasure licks at your spine, replacing the discomfort. Jungkook lets out a pleased hum.

Slowly, he works up a rhythm, keeping his thrusts shallow as he begins rubbing circles around your clit again. With his other hand, he slides the straps of your top down your shoulders, tugging the bodice down just enough to free your breasts. Your nipples harden at the exposure, and a moan escapes you when he immediately takes one between his fingers, rolling and pinching at the peak. The additional stimulation, paired with the heavy drag of his cock along your walls and his insistent thumb on your clit, has you teetering dangerously close to the edge, your tummy tensing.

“Jungkook—” you whimper, your nails digging into his shoulders. He grunts in response and picks up the pace, rolling even more fervently up into your clenching heat, and you gasp when a particularly hard thrust sends you scooting backward atop the washing machine. “Fuck! I’m close, Jungkook.”

“Me too,” he grits out. “Come on, princess, cum for me. I know you can do it, just let go for me one more time—”

And with one final flick of his wrist and a thrust that’s so deep you can practically feel him in the back of your throat, you come completely undone, spasming wildly around his cock. It all proves too much for Jungkook, who’s groaning right alongside you as he reaches his high, spilling into the condom. He chants your name like a prayer as his hips gradually still, and his lips seek out yours almost instinctively as his cock softens inside you. The kiss is lazy and languid, contentment settling in your veins. Jungkook wraps you up in a warm embrace, his tongue dipping inside your mouth to explore.

It isn’t until a loud cheer rises up from the front of the house that you snap out of your blissful haze. “We should get back to the party,” you mumble into the kiss, pushing against Jungkook’s chest when he only pulls you closer. “Jungkook, come on. People are gonna get suspicious if we’re gone too long.”

“You know what else will make people suspicious? You, coming out like that.” He gestures at the skirt hiked up around your waist, a slow smirk playing at his lips as he gives you a once-over, his gaze lingering on the wet sheen streaking your inner thighs. “As much as I’m enjoying the view.”

You swat his arm. “Stop that!”

Jungkook snickers and bends down to pick up your discarded panties, swinging them around his index finger. “Stop what?”

“Oh my god, Jungkook.”

Cackling, he returns the lacy undergarment to you, watching as you pull the material up your legs. You adjust your shirt while he disposes of his condom, and when you hop off the washing machine, he offers you a hand that you gratefully accept, gripping his arm as you steady yourself on shaky legs.

“You should leave first,” you tell him, smoothing out the wrinkles in his t-shirt and relishing the way his muscles twitch beneath your fingertips. “It’ll look weird if we leave together, and I need to pee, anyway.”

Jungkook grins and catches your wrists, swooping down to plant a quick kiss on your mouth. “As you wish,” he says, offering you a playful wink.

Then he’s straightening back up to his full height, checking his pockets and running a hand through his mussed hair. You watch as he walks over to the door, putting his ear against it for a few seconds before determining that the coast is clear and slipping out into the hallway. As the door clicks shut behind him, you hear someone—you’re pretty sure it’s a drunk Yugyeom—greet him with a resounding clap on the back. “Dude, where have you been all night? We’re getting our asses handed to us. Minho and Taemin are winning.”

“Sorry, man,” Jungkook half-shouts, and you realize that he’s making sure you can hear him. “Come on. Let’s go get that crown.”

Leaning against the door, you listen as their voices recede down the hallway. You count to five, and then to ten when your thumping heart refuses to slow. At nineteen, it finally calms down—enough that you feel comfortable leaving the laundry room and slipping into the bathroom to clean yourself up.

There’s a massive crowd gathered in the dining room by the time you rejoin the party, and you easily slip unnoticed into the mass of people eagerly watching the final round of the beer pong tournament. Jungkook stands at the far end of the table beside Yugyeom, poised to throw.

He catches your eye at the same time he releases the ball with a flick of his wrist, a knowing smirk settling on his face as triumphant cheers break out all around you.

///

It’s well after midnight by the time the party begins to wind down. Chaeyoung and Lisa are nowhere to be found, and several other girls are lingering near the front door saying their goodbyes before heading out. You find yourself seated on the couch between Jimin and Minho, watching as the latter helps clean up by hurling beer cans at the wastebasket on the other end of the room.

“Man, no wonder you suck at pong.” Jungkook walks into the room and plops down on an end table, a faded cardboard Burger King crown sitting rakishly on his head. “Want me to show you how the champs do it?”

Minho snorts. “Fuck off, man, you barely won that second game. Besides, we totally would’ve won if Taemin hadn’t spent half the time staring at Lisa’s tits.”

Taemin, who’s perched on a corner of the coffee table, raises his hands innocently. “Hey, don’t look at me. I scored most of the points that round.”

Minho huffs irritably and tosses another can at the wastebasket, cursing when it bounces off the rim. Taehyung wanders in and picks it up, throwing it back at Minho before squeezing into the miniscule amount of space between you and Jimin on the couch.

“Jesus, Tae,” you grunt, shifting to give him more room. The movement tilts you toward Minho, smushing you against his side, and he shoots you a playful grin and a wink.

“Cozy?”

“Cozy,” you confirm with a laugh.

“Good,” he says, freeing his arm and throwing it across the back of the couch to give you a little more space. “It’s nice having you around again, Noona.”

Jungkook’s head whirls around so quickly you fear he might have given himself whiplash. His stare zeroes in on Minho’s arm, eyes narrowing at the proximity, but the other boy remains blissfully unaware as he leans back against the couch cushions. Subtly, you lean forward, trying to put some distance between your bodies.

“It’s nice to be back,” you tell him. “It feels like I missed so much, but at the same time, it’s like nothing’s changed.”

“Choi’s aim sure hasn’t changed,” Yugyeom remarks from the doorway with a handful of empty beer bottles. “Still can’t land a shot, even after all these years.” Raising a bottle, he hefts it toward the wastebasket, smirking in satisfaction when it sinks perfectly inside the can.

“And not just with pong,” Taemin goads. “How did things go with Sana again?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Like you’re one to talk. Besides, we’d all probably stand a better chance if Jeon over there would leave some girls for the rest of us.”

“You’re just jealous because Sana likes him better than she likes you,” Taehyung says with a snicker. “Yo, Jeon! Didn’t you guys make it to third base at Jackson’s party?”

Your stomach sinks as all eyes in the room turn to Jungkook, whose eyes go wide at the sudden attention. “What?”

“Sa. Na,” Taehyung repeats, emphasizing each syllable. “Hottest girl in our year? Third base at Jackson’s? Or are you having a hard time remembering since you wound up leaving with Jihyo?”

Yugyeom chortles as he plops down onto the carpeted floor. “Fuck, man, I forgot about that. Jesus. Just last year you were still shitting yourself at the thought of talking to a girl. Who knew you secretly had so much game?”

The room is beginning to feel stifling. Every breath you take feels like you’re inhaling ash, like a volcano that has lain dormant for ages has suddenly and without warning erupted inside your chest.

He’s playing you. And even worse, it seems that this is a game he’s played before—many times, if his friends are to be believed. Your stomach turns at the thought.

From his perch on the end table, Jungkook scoffs out a stilted, staccato note. “Right. I guess any nonzero number would seem high to you guys, huh?”

Loud jeers break out from the surrounding boys, and you do your best to melt back into the couch cushions. The way you’re squished between Taehyung and Minho makes it impossible for you to find any leverage to stand, so you settle for leaning your head back and staring at the stucco ceiling, willing your heartbeat to slow. Gradually, the noise of the party fades into the background, as do the voices of your brother and his friends. It’s only when Jimin pokes your shoulder, singsonging your name, that you break out of your trance.

“What? Huh?”

“The lake house,” Jimin says, looking at you as if you’re stupid. “You down?”

You can only blink at him, repeating the words back to him dumbly. “The lake house?”

Jimin raises a brow. “Yeah, the lake house. You know, our lake house? The one we drive up to every summer? Where we’ve been vacationing since we were like, five?”

You scowl when he pinches your cheek like you’re a child again. “Yeah, I got that. What about it?”

A snort. “Jeez, have you been listening at all, Noona? We’re talking about going up there for a few days.”

“Oh,” you croak. Unwillingly, you find yourself glancing over at Jungkook, your face growing warm when you see him staring right back, his expression careful and composed. “Right.”

“You should come, Noona,” Taemin pipes up. “You’re here for the next few weeks, right? Might as well have some fun.”

“I don’t know—” you begin, but Jimin cuts you off with a raised finger and another pinch to your cheek.

“You can’t just do homework the whole time you’re here,” he says. “Come with us, Noona. Live a little.”

“It’ll help get your mind off your internship, too,” Jungkook remarks softly. “You deserve a break. Just a few days won’t hurt.”

The fact that he remembers your internship woes shouldn’t make your heart lurch. You know it shouldn’t, but you can’t help the way your chest swells dangerously. “Fine,” you concede, reaching over Taehyung to pinch Jimin’s cheek in retaliation. “I’ll come, I guess.”

Taehyung and Taemin cheer, and Minho wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you tight. “We should invite the other girls,” he points out, chuckling when you splutter for air in his ironclad grasp and try in vain to shake him off. “Don’t want it to be a total sausage fest.”

“Penis party is a much better term,” Taehyung interjects helpfully. “It’s alliterative.”

“You want alliterative? How about a cock carnival?” Jimin supplies, before doubling over in giggles.

You huff, exasperated at the ludicrous turn in conversation. “I can’t believe I’m coming with you guys.”

Minho snickers. “Title of your sex tape,” he jokes, punctuating it with a suggestive eyebrow waggle that sobers your brother up immediately. Jimin straightens up and fixes Minho with a glare, and despite your brother’s smaller stature, the older boy still shrinks back slightly.

“Dude, that’s my sister.”

Minho raises his hands apologetically. “Sorry, sorry. Automatic response. My bad.”

You just roll your eyes. “Are you twelve? God. I don’t know how the girls put up with any of you.”

Gradually, the night draws to a close. The number of people milling about dwindles, and Taehyung fiddles with his phone, letting out a satisfied hum when he finds the playlist he wants. The music transforms into something low and smooth, the soft R&B beat filling the room. You feel your eyes begin to droop.

“We should probably head home,” Jimin says, stretching his arms lazily overhead. “Noona here has to get her beauty sleep, and I don’t feel like carrying her back if she falls asleep here.”

“Shut up, Chim,” you mumble, but there’s no real bite in your tone. Jimin just chuckles and stands up, tugging on your hand until you’re on your feet as well. Jungkook straightens up too, and together, you bid farewell to the others and head for the door.

“{Name}, wait a second.”

You turn at the sound of Jisoo’s voice, tilting your head curiously as she lays a gentle hand on your arm and ushers you off to the side. “Yeah?”

Jisoo casts a furtive glance around the hallway, lowering her voice to a murmur. “I see what’s going on with Jungkook,” she whispers once she’s sure the coast is clear.

You stiffen, your mouth opening and closing a few times before you manage to find your voice again. “You… you saw us?”

She nods. “He’s been watching you all night—it’d honestly be harder not to notice. I just…” She sighs and looks around again, missing the relief that must be etched across your expression as her gaze lingers on where Jungkook and Jimin are loitering by the door. “…just be careful, okay? Jungkook—he’s changed this past year. I mean, I don’t know if all the rumors are true, but… he’s not the same guy you probably remember. He went out with Chae for a few weeks, did she tell you that?”

At your look of horror, she sighs. “Figures. She hides it well, but I know she’s still torn up about how he ended it after they slept together. So watch out for him, okay? He’s a heartbreaker. And he never, ever stays until the morning.”

Every word that leaves her mouth stings, but you don’t let that show on your face. Instead, you force a smile and pat her hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell her. “I’m not going to get involved with him.”

You repeat that to yourself the whole way home, trying not to focus on the young man a few paces away and the way you can still taste him on your tongue.

[kkusuka]

omg can you do pt.2 for “little toxic things </3” where the reader gets tired of there actions and tries to break up with them?? or something along the lines where they simply just ignore them. thank you!!! whenever you can!! <33

pt.1 <3

TW: atsumu’s talks about having an eating disorder for a bit, it also talks about growing out of an eating disorder!!!!

a similar asks : Can you make part 2, where they regret it and s/o and dead or like something really angsty? Btw. I really like your writing style.

I love your writing and I hope you are doing well! No rush or pressure or anything whatsoever, but maybe a pt. 2 to the toxic hc (the one with sakusa, suna, oikawa and atsumu) where the reader breaks up with them or something and how they react. Honestly it’s up to you what the ending is but I just wonder how they would react lol. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love your writing and I hope you are doing well! No rush or pressure or anything whatsoever, but maybe a pt. 2 to the toxic hc (the one with sakusa, suna, oikawa and atsumu) where the reader breaks up with them or something and how they react. Honestly it’s up to you what the ending is but I just wonder how they would react lol. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

i know this was supposed to be headcannons but something came over me and i just wrote mini fics for it. 

oikawa

why did this get kinda long?

sometimes time gets away from him. the moment he woke up he knew how important this day was, and as much as he liked to pretend he wasn’t, he knew he was on very thin ice with you. he was going to make it better. hw had the perfect plan, al he had to do was get through practice on time and he’d be set! but, sometimes time gets away from him, and he’s too busy to check his phone when his serve is getting shaky. 

-

you believed him when he said he’d be there, but deep down you somehow knew that it was going to be like every other time. after thirty minutes you gave him a call, people started to look at you. at one hour you ordered the most expensive bottle of wine, and shot him more than a few texts. at two hours you ordered food and gave up on trying to contact him, the point was lost. when you finished your meal at 2 1/2 hours you came to the conclusion he wasn’t coming and he had failed to prove that he could keep a promise. 

- 

it was 9:45 when he finally checked his phone. teo hours and thirty minutes after he was supposed to meet you at the restaurant. he wasted no time, not even for a shower, and made it to the restaurant in record time. as he was walking in you were walking out. 

“y/n please listn! i’m-” 

“i’m over it Tooru, i love you, i really do but i can’t keep going through this. i’ll be cheering for you even if you can’t see me.” 

“please, please we-we can fix this-” 

“there’s nothing to fix, i’ll get my stuff and be out by tomorrow.” 

-

everything was numb now, when had you become so important to him? you were his entire life and he took complete advantage of all that you did for him. he was so blinded by his ambition that he had forgotten about the person who helped him get where he was. and deep in his heart he knew that there wouldn’t be anyone else, and some how he was going to get you back. hopefully you still loved him enough to et him try. 

sakusa

it was simple, he no longer had feelings for you. and he’d rather not go through the hassle of sitting down and talking it through with you. if you loved home so much than you would understand that he had to leave. but now as he sits in his half empty apartment that the two of you once shared, he isn’t to sure he made the right decision. 

-

he sees you everywhere now, it drives him insane. when he walks around the grocery store he sees the snacks you would always beg him to buy. or when he was getting a new cologne and the first smell that hit him was the perfume you would always wear. and on the plane back to Tokyo that only thing that calmed him was the photo of the two of you that he just happens to “forget” to take out of his wallet. 

maybe he should call you, and hopefully you would give him a chance to make it right. 

atsumu

103 lb. that wasn’t good enough, the girl on the poster that Suna gave Atsumu for his birthday was 98 lb. why wasn’t it working? you worked out everyday, ate 400 calories at best, what was going so wrong? Atsumu didn’t seem to even notice what you were doing and that hurt just a bit more than an aching stomach. what he did notice was the way your hair matted down and got thinner. and the way your skin lost it’s glow. and how the bags under your eyes never seemed to go away. 

and he didn't spare you these observations, or how all he girls you saw at that mall didn’t look like that. 

-

after five month you were diagnosed with an eating disorder, and that was the final straw to your relationship. it was like the skies had parted and you had truly seen what was going on. two hours later you had your best friend pack all of your stuff and you left the apartment. you could no longer kill yourself for this relationship, if atsumu wanted all the the girls in the Ads, than he can have them. 

- 

9 months and two relapses later you were finally free form the plague Atsumu had induced on you. you had gotten rid of anything that reminded you of the boy. you went as far as getting a new phone number. you had finally found peace with yourself and your body and no one was going to take that away from you. but clearly getting rid of photo’s of the man wont get rid of the real one. and you’re faced with the harsh reality when you run into him at an engagement party. 

-

he had a year and a half you realize what he had done. and he had, Atsumu was disgusted with how he acted, but never tried to contact you. he knew you didn't want to talk to him and i would just make it worse if he tried. he never truly realized what his words had done to you. 

-

“y/n-”

“i’m sorry Miya, i-i can’t talk right now” 

he understood, he did. but that didn't make it hurt any less. watching you walk out of his life for the second time hurt even more than the first. at east he didn't see you leave the first time. maybe one day you wont hate him enough so he can tell you how sorry he was. 

suna

two weeks of complete silence was the last straw of your already rocky relationship with the middle blocker. sending him one more useless text you decided you had, had enough. you weren’t going to fight for this relationship if wasn't going to meet you in the middle. it took you about 30 minutes to get all of the clothes that you had borrowed from him, and put them in a bag. it took you another ten minutes to make it to his house. and one minute to get to his door. 

-

when he opened the door to you, he isn’t going to lie he was annoyed and didn't want to see you. wasn’t the unanswered messages enough? couldn’t you take a hint. 

“y/n im not in the mood-”

“you don’t need to be in the mood, here’s your shit. you can go ignore someone else for two weeks. 

- 

in some sick way suna missed all of your messages, he knew he had no right to be thinking of them. but its 3:26 am and al he can think about is you. some of the sweatshirts still smelled like you but by now the perfume had dissipated. no matter how many photos of you he had, they didn't do how beautiful you were justice. if he was just a bit less prideful he would be at your door, sleep forgotten, and beg for you back. but for no he’ll just have to deal with the void of emotions lingering in his chest. 

[creatingnikki]

What 2020 has taught me

1. Those things that seem like content for sci fi or pure fiction are actually things that can happen. To the entire world. Like a pandemic. And to you. Like a seizure.

2. Everyone is sad. Everyone is struggling. In different ways and in different measures. Makes no one special. But you still get to feel sad for yourself and be compassionate towards others. But it's also okay to draw boundaries because you're everyone too. Remember, not special? You're sad and trying to deal with it too.

3. Every job you have will not add value to your life. It will not teach you new things or give you people you'll want to stay in touch with. Sometimes some jobs will only be a season of your life. Even if the season lasts for over a year. It's okay.

4. You know how you thought picking a college and picking a major and picking your first job and picking a specific industry were all the career decisions you had to make? Yeah, no. It's never a one time thing. You could have a job as a marketing strategist for two years and then want nothing to do with it. And then you'll have to make another decision and work towards it. So I'd like to call it moves. It's like chess. You always have to make a move. And it always has to be strategic, yes. But the truth is in your 20s it probably won't. Even if you try. And as long as you're trying, you'll be fine.

5. You may have different sorts of friends like the one you only talk to about kdrama with or the one you met when you went book shopping alone and the friendship is all about books really. That's normal. But irrespective of why and how you became friends with them, if you consider them a friend then there has to be this basic sense of care, respect and empathy for each other. I don't care what people want to say. If you're faced with the worst trauma of your life, the least your friends can do is check up on you regularly. On text. And if they don't even do that then guess what? They aren't friends. They are acquaintances. Social media and quick promises make everyone seem like your friend. But they are not. They are just nice people who will be nice to you for specific periods and then wander away like you are a speck of dust floating in their journey.

6. You speak a lot and write and you express yourself and you’re emotionally mature but oh my god. You still hold in so much. You’ve known that at a subconscious level and over the last year people - experts - have told you that. You have also realized that you make your pain and sadness about pettier things because dealing with them, admitting about them, sharing that with your friends, is easier. You do that so that you don’t have to deal with the real stuff. Because it’s so damn painful. And you don’t know how to do it. Yet. Acknowledging is the first step anyway right? I know you’re confused about how exactly to let go of all this pain and sadness and feel lighter, and you know that talking to people really isn’t the solution, but I also know you’re smart enough to figure it out. 

7. Talking about being smart...you know you’re different than others. Better. Special. Smarter. None of these are the right words. And you never voiced this out until this year because you knew it would make you come across as narcissistic. Some would say it’s because you’re an INFJ. But my mother once said that this may be the first time we are consciously living life but our souls are old and so our instinct and the things we know but can’t explain are because this isn’t the first time for our souls. The connections we feel with certain people, the reason we are so different from our siblings who grew up in the exact same environment with the exact same opportunities, our sense of right and wrong...it’s all because our souls learn and grow with each time and that’s why we are who we are. I think that’s probably how I can explain what I have always felt. That I am living in a different universe than everybody but I have to pretend to be in this one and dumb my emotions and thoughts down. Maybe that’s because my soul has lived through thousands of years while most around me are living their 100th life. Or maybe I’m just narcissistic, who knows?

8. You shift between talking in first person and second person but that’s because that’s how you think in your head and talk to yourself and live your life. You ask yourself things and you accuse yourself of things and you apologize to yourself and you comfort yourself. I think that seeps into your writing and the changing of the voices. 

9. You always genuinely thought that you’d not be afraid of dying. And then what happened this October proved you shockingly wrong. I know it’s not so much being afraid of dying but the unbearable pain of knowing what that would mean to your family. So you have to be more prudent and less reckless with your life and the choices you make. 

10. Regret is not something that plagued you but this year the realisation and pain of giving away your favourite books from your own personal collection to people you care about as a show of affection and them turning out to be ass holes or losers has hit you so hard. So, yes. No more of that shit. I really fucking want my copy of The Perks Of Being A Wallflower back. UGH. With the childhood picture of me inside it! 

11. Sleeping at 5 am in the morning stops being fun or romanticised when you realise just how much harm it does to your body and mind. Literally every single disease and disorder can be traced back to a shitty fucking sleep schedule. It’s not just the hours you sleep but also the quality of sleep and the time you sleep at. So yes sleeping for 8 hours is healthy but not if that 8 hours is from 5 am to 12 pm. ‘Not a morning person’ is just another construct of capitalism and you don’t realise how many industries profit from having you believe that and staying up late or all night. Entertainment. Food. Alcohol. Pharma. Biologically and naturally you are a bloody morning person. And you don’t need 3 cups of coffee to begin your day or your phone notifications to get you to open your eyes and brain to wake up. 

12. Sometimes you really have to stop taking people so seriously. I know the idea of treating people as casual friends or entertainment makes you want to fight that concept but you know what? Some people like Pineapple are ever only going to be good for that. No matter how much they ‘grow and change’. So keep them in the background for whenever you want some entertainment or drama. But please don’t clear up your busy schedule to meet them or send them gifts on their birthday. 

13. If you don’t have the fruit juice or green juice within half an hour of making it then you are losing out on its most optimum health benefits. Or when you remove the white stringy stuff from oranges. That’s where all the actual nutrients are.

14. I am privileged and so are most of the people I interact with. The global pandemic has been hell for a lot of people around the world. Health wise. Financially. Losing people they care about. But I was blessed enough to be safe at home and have a job that I could smoothly do from home and not have a pay cut or 4-hour long Zoom meetings. So honestly when my friends tell me 2020 has been bad I have to stop and ask them why? Yes, the crippling uncertainty and anxiety is not something that can be undermined. But most people I know had very great positive life-changing milestones this year like moving away to another country for college or taking their first solo trip or getting married. So I have to ask them. Because I am not going to agree that everybody’s 2020 and pandemic narrative is the same. 

15. Money gets spent really quickly. When I left my job earlier this year because of personal issues, I thought I had enough savings to last me a year. Full disclosure - I mean to last my personal expenses because I live with my parents. But it didn’t even last me 3 months. And so to use money wisely and buy things that provide utility than instant gratification is something to follow. Also buying one pair of really expensive but quality shoes is better than buying 5 pairs of affordable but low quality shoes that will have a very short life and force you to buy more. I know that higher price doesn’t always mean better quality but sometimes it does. And as an adult now I want to do the whole quality > quantity thing even with things and not just people. 

16. Everyone in their 20s went through a crisis of what they should do with their lives and their careers and it’s not unique to the 21st century and the challenges of today. Whether it was Vincent Van Gogh in the 19th century or Sylvia Plath in the 20th, every single person, as brilliant as them went through the torture of making these decisions and living with their consequences. You may think I picked wrong examples for they both killed themselves but you know what? They were the people who really want to live more than anyone. They knew what life meant. And maybe if mental health help was more accessible back then their lives would be longer and more peaceful. 

17. Telling people everything is overrated. You don’t have to talk about every single thing that’s on your mind or that’s going on in your life. The good and the bad and the mediocre. You have to be mindful about how much of yourself you’re giving away. 

18. Re-watch Suits when people at work feel intimidating because the confidence + negotiation tactics that they show can actually work irl cos at the end of the day no matter in what position you’re dealing with people who have emotions and fears and insecurities and desires. You understand how to leverage that nobody can get the better of you. 

19. You belong to yourself. No matter how much you love someone or how much they have done for you or how much you owe them - you belong to yourself. You can’t live your life for someone else. Everyone belongs to themselves first. No relationship, no promise, no circumstance should make you feel like you have to give up your life and make it all about them. If and when the time comes to die for them, go ahead. Take a bullet. Donate that kidney. Write them in your will. But live your life for yourself. And let them live theirs. 

20. Twenty three was a challenging year. When it started you claimed the age 23 sounds boring and insignificant. Guess it proved you wrong. It hurt so much now. But that only means you’ll look back on it later and see how it added so much wisdom and resilience to your being. It doesn’t mean that it makes all the bad things that happened to you okay. Or that you should be grateful to them. Fuck no. It means that you should be kinder to yourself because at the end of the day, your mind and body find it in themselves to deal with whatever is thrown their way. They have your back. It’s time you learn to sit straight. 

[sambvcks]

crawl home to her, b.b. x reader

chapter four // three days on drunken sin

summary: bucky decides to rifle through those boxes and finds the will to make the first move.

warnings: food/eating, nothing too bad this time!

word count: 1.7k

author’s note: how are we feeling about this week’s episode?? we’re getting closer to the start of tfatws with this chapter!! hope i don’t break your heart too much with the boxes :)

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The boxes taunted him for three days.

Three stacks of two boxes each cluttered his entranceway, each with that familiar scrawl of Steve’s God-awful handwriting.

‘BUCKY’

All caps, in black Sharpie, underlined three times just for good measure. Steve was always good at getting his message across.

He didn’t want to know what was in them, he told himself. But Steve was gone, and this was all he had left. These, that stupid notebook he still hadn’t found the will to write in, and the shield that was kicking around Sam’s apartment somewhere.

He wanted to toss them in his building’s dumpster, to push these aside like he did with everything else in his life. Out of sight, out of mind. That week, he didn’t tell his therapist about the boxes, or Sam’s unexpected visit, or his neighbor that he was now avoiding like the plague. Thankfully, she chalked his silence up to Steve and tried to fill in the conversational lulls with suggestions of amends and lists and he just wanted to go back to sleep.

Like always, sleep never came.

He knew the single night in his bed was a fluke, but he kept trying at least. He’d untuck his flat sheet from under hit mattress, fluff his pillow, and tuck himself in. Within five minutes, he was back on the hardwood floor of his living room, the lamplights illuminating his window and casting a perfect shadow on those stupid boxes. Finally, on the third night, he huffed a sigh and sat up, his arm whirring at the sudden movement. He wasn’t accomplishing anything letting them sit and gather dust.

Bucky reached under the cushions of his couch, fishing for the knife he had stashed away and got to work slicing through the clear packing tape securing each one.

The first five boxes were files. Mission reports, everything Steve could get his hands on about The Winter Soldier. The translations were rough, the descriptions weren’t as vivid as he remembered them now, and it wasn’t even close to everything. Why Steve kept them when Bucky was working to erase every trace of this from the universe, he would never understand. Steve was sentimental, even with the bad stuff. Bucky glanced over the files scattered across his entranceway, which maybe amounted to a year of his missions. If Zemo had looked in some suburb in upstate New York, he would have found everything he needed.

The dumpster behind his building was starting to feel more and more enticing.

The last box felt different. Significantly lighter and smaller, the items rolling and clanking as he dragged it towards him. He braced himself for more files, more reminders of what he had done as though they didn’t exist in his mind every second of the day.

The first thing he recognized was his mother’s handwriting. ‘Recipes’, scrawled so perfectly on a yellowing label.

The tin box was tinted with age, dented after so many years. He laughed and could remember it tucked away on the top shelf of the cabinet by the fridge, just out of Rebecca’s reach, even when she’d stand on her tiptoes in search of it. His Ma rarely fished it out, other than to let his little sister read over the ingredients with sticky hands as she helped stir pots and peel potatoes. She had them memorized by the time she was a teenager, having transcribed her own mother’s recipes onto these little cards. He was sure Rebecca did, too.

Next was the worn fabric of his Ma’s favorite apron. Yellow embroidered flowers scattered the crimped edge, strings falling loose. He recognized some of the stains, from spaghetti night and cake batter that she let dry on the cloth for too long.

Finally, a worn silver chain was buried at the bottom of the box.

JAMES B BARNES 32557038 T42 A

Of course, Steve with all his connections and know-it-all attitude and ‘I can do this all day’ would find some way to find his dog tags, probably tucked away in some ancient Hydra file. His flesh fingers ran over the indentation of his name, pressed into metal like millions of other boys had, off to fight a war that had nothing to do with them. Everything to lose, nothing to gain.

When he was most alone, settled into muddy trenches with wet socks and a stiff military jacket, he would recite those numbers out into the night sky. He’d map constellations over his head, wondering if it would be his last night and all there would be left of him would be those stupid discs of metal clanking around his neck and the letter tucked away in his jacket breast pocket, addressed to his mother.

His mother was long gone, he knew that. But to a fully conscious James Buchanan Barnes – not the Winter Soldier - he had only seen her a few years ago when he shipped off.

After a moment, he pulled the chain of his dog tags over his head, settling them under his shirt. His ears rung with the sound of footsteps in the hallway. The sound of dragging feet and the jangle of your keychain signaled your return from class.

His family was gone, Steve included. The only people he has left are halfway across the world, or off on some death-defying mission wearing metal bird wings. Except you, who still leaves bags of cookies on his front door mat, despite the silent treatment from his end. His maybe too friendly neighbor who poured over lists of albums for him to find taped to his door in barely legible handwriting when you should have been studying.

His mother’s recipe box was calling his name.

-

The knock on your door startled you from your nap. Well, if you can call dozing off at your desk using a law book as a makeshift pillow a nap. You stalled in your desk chair, eyes bleary as you squinted at your front door, then at the top corner of your computer.

2:36 AM

You nuzzled back into your book, content to chalk it up to your sleep deprived brain making things up.

The second knock was much more insistent and was certainly coming from your door. You rushed out of your chair, sock-clad feet dragging the blanket draped across your shoulders as you shuffled over, the knocking never ceasing. You blinked the sleep from your eyes, peering out your peephole into the dark hallway.

Bucky, with slumped shoulders and a bowed head, trying with all of his might to make himself as small as possible still took up so much of the doorway with his broad shoulders.

You should be mad at him.

You should go to bed, ignore him like he’d been ignoring you for the past few weeks. Like you hadn’t shared late nights and he hadn’t sat in your kitchen, licking your spoons clean or tucked into your couch just to watch you study, a new record playing gently. Your forehead pressed to the door, vile building in your throat as seething words collected on your tongue.

“I know you’re there.” His voice was muffled through the wooden door, feeling so close but sounding so far away. “We should work on you dragging your feet, doll.”

If you had taken another peek, you would have seen him pressing his forehead to the other side.

“You ignored me, Bucky.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere, even through the door. “Some family stuff came up. But it’s no excuse, I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

It’s so stupid, letting yourself get so attached to the first guy to bat his eyelashes and read to you. It’s idiotic to want him to seep into your days and nights, to never leave like he had left you, after only knowing each other for a month.

It’s so foolish to open the door. But you do it anyways.

He swallows as he stands straight, and the widening of his eyes tells you that he wasn’t expecting you to give him a second chance.

“I, uh, here. Thought I’d finally return the favor.”” Bucky shoves forward a plate of cookies, misshapen and unevenly cooked. His eyes finally found yours. “My mom’s recipe.”

Family stuff, you remembered. The weight of the plate felt heavy in your hands, almost as heavy as his gaze on you as you lifted one of the lesser burnt cookies to your mouth and took a timid bite.

Bucky, you’ve come to learn, gives his love in silent acts of approval. He shines when you tell him his singing isn’t totally awful or that he makes a great sous chef, eyes crinkling when you approve of his music choice for the night or compliment the voices he picks when reading from his books. As he watched you, you felt that this cookie meant more to him then just flour and eggs.

He was reaching out, terrified of your rejection.

“You made these?”

“Alright, I’m not totally helpless.”

“They’re amazing, Bucky. Your mom should be proud.”

He returned your smile, knowing that she wouldn’t be. How could she, after all that his hands have done? Hands that should’ve been home, hoisting his sisters onto his shoulders. Hands that should have been helping set the table and at work so they had something to eat in the first place.

He looked so timid in your hallway, unsure of the next move. You rolled your eyes, moving to clear your doorway, despite his hesitation.

“Come on.” You spoke, like ushering in a stray cat with the promise of food and love.

He took the first step forward, shoulder to shoulder, head tilted down to catch your playful gaze with his serious one. Your mouth opened to make some sort of quip to ease the tension, but the words died in your throat as he pressed his forehead against yours for just a second.

His eyes closed as he drew in a single serene breath through his nose.

He was gone as quickly as he had come, moving further into your apartment and directly to your shelves of records, gloved fingers grazing over the sleeves in contemplation for his first choice of the night. As you finally collected yourself enough to close the door, you wondered how many people in the world had ever loved Bucky Barnes enough to give him a second chance.

taglist: @tisthedamninez @wcndamaxcmoff @freyagallileaevans @bibliophilewednesday @justtoreblogfics @teti-menchon0604 @l-adysansa @heart-eyes-horan @thiswasnevermylifefromtony @rexorangecouny @dilfvision @urafakebetch @comphersjost @am-tired-bois @spid3rgwen @beautyandthebleh @euphoricaaaa @inadquacy @mackycat11 @withyoutilltheendofthismess @motherofallthesmallthings @victoriabaker112213 @macrillez @stvalentiness @nova10711 @tailsoflightning @okiegirl24 @qhbr2013 @beachbabe925 @weenersoldierr @venusinart @marvel-mistress @orthellqs @phasma-trash @beni-angie @infinitely-yellow @riverlethe1

[chuckbass-love]

Omg so hear me out! But I have an idea

What if just after a steamy moment between Chris and y/n he tells her that he has to do a sex scene with his co-star for defending Jacob and y/n instantly gets jealous and upset. So she decides to go sleep on the couch cause she doesn’t wanna see Chris right now due to the fact that he’d chosen the worse time to tell her about the fact that he had to pretend to fuck someone else.

And then the day he comes back after the sex scene he does to talk to her and he kissed her but she pulls away instantly and just says something like “How was she? Was she better then me?” And Chris is so baffled that he follows her up to their bedroom trying to get her to talk to him since he’s worried he’s upset her. Below could be his reaction to her question 🙈

Jealous

Hey love!! I love this idea so much! I really hope you love this because i always get a bit iffy wondering if people actually enjoy what i write for their requests. I’m sticking with the gif in the request. I’ve also changed a couple things with this though so yeah.

Also to the other people that sent in requests, i am working through them. They will be published throughout the next 2 weeks. i promise, sorry for slacking😬

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Smut, angst, fluff. Basically the works. Oral (female receiving), fingering, language, insecurities and jealous behaviour.

Word Count: 2,373

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @capsgrantrogers go check them out ❣️

------------------

“God i’m so glad that i’m shooting close to home so i get to do that with you every night” he pants as he turns on his side, his eyes meeting yours.

“Me too” you smile, softly at him. Your hand rests on his face, cupping it slightly as you lean in to kiss him quickly “talking of actually, there’s something i wanted to run by you” you raise a brow and motion for him to continue.

“See, there’s an intimate scene that i’m shooting tomorrow, i wanted to let you know beforehand so you’re not shocked when you see it on tv. It’s just a bit of kissing, we’ll both be shirtless and-” you don’t even give him the time to finish, you’ve heard enough for now.

“Wait, what? When did you find out about this Chris?” your annoyance is abundantly clear at this point, he sits up, letting you finish before he responds. “I only found out the other day. It’s not a long one, it’s a 10-15 second long scene and it’ll be over faster than it starts” you shake your head, getting off of the bed and heading into the bathroom to run yourself a bubble bath.

“But, why now? Why do you choose now of all times to tell me, Chris? It’s hardly the right time. You just finish screwing me and you decide to tell me that tomorrow you have to fake fuck another woman”

“It’s just Michelle, we need to, it’s for my job honey, i can’t exactly say no”

“Whatever, have fun i guess” you scoff, slamming the door in his face and locking it to stop him coming in. You need some time alone right now and a bubble bath should help to calm your angered state. 

You know it’s all just part of his job, it’s his career. Kissing other women is just what it entails but it doesn’t make it any easier. He has to do sex scenes and intimacy with other actresses. You’ve always been jealous but this time it’s the way he chose to tell you more than anything. 

You get into the bath, lying down and trying your hardest to relax your shoulders and your entire body but it’s no use, nothing works. 

On one hand you feel bad for kicking off and getting mad, but on the other hand you don’t care.

All of these insecurities and fears are all just about you being wary of him leaving you one day. Like what if... actually no. NO. You refuse to put yourself in that mind set. You’ve been going strong with Chris for 2 years now. He loves you and you love him. But right now you need to allow yourself time to be mad. 

Once you get out of the bath, you wrap a towel around your body and open the door. No sign of Chris until you start changing. That’s when he appears in the doorway, a look of worry and cautiousness. Like he’s not sure if you’re okay or if you’re still mad at him.

“I’m sorry” he finally speaks up after what feels like minutes of silence and tension “Chris, i’m tired okay” you feel so exasperated and exhausted. It’s not even just because of what happened, you’ve been working hard lately with your own career and maybe all the added stress has caused you to over react but even so, it doesn’t matter. You’re still upset. 

You finish changing before walking out of the room, he follows closely behind, wondering where you are going since It’s late.

“I’m gonna sleep on the sofa” 

“Please, can we just talk about it”

“Chris, seriously, let’s just leave it”

“But you’re avoiding me like the plague all because i have a sex scene to film. Like christ Y/N what do you expect me to do? Make a big deal and refuse, it’s my career” you jump at the way he raises his voice at you, he almost never raises it and what’s worse, he never does it to you. 

You take a step back before responding “it’s not just about that Chris. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Huh? If i had just finished having sex with you and then blurted out ‘oh by the way babe, i’m going to be fake screwing another man tomorrow, no biggie, love you’” you mock. Not having a single care for how petty you must sound.

“Y/N i love you, i only love you. What is it about this scene? I’ve filmed plenty of them before and you choose now to suddenly say you’re not okay with me doing them. It makes no sense”

“Of course it’s going to make no sense to you, you’re not the one that’s sat back for years and watched it. You’re not the one that’s been insecure for so long and pushed away worries of-”

“Of what? Of me leaving you? You really think some fake sex scene is going to change how i feel about you Y/N? Do you really think that low of me?” you pause for a second, looking down to the floor and spotting Dodger. He looks from you then to Chris then back to you.

You feel tears brimming in your eyes, Chris spots it instantly as he steps closer, closing the space between the two of you. He leads you over to the sofa, sitting you down on it. He kneels in between your legs, holding your hands.

“Chris, i know you love me but i just worry sometimes that with me being what famous people call a ‘regular person’ that you’d be better off with someone in the same career as you, that’s all” 

He just sighs, turning away before turning back to you “I love you and that’s all there is to it Y/N. I don’t care about you not being famous, i hate that word anyway” your eyes meet his as your tears fall. He wipes them away, stroking his thumb across your cheek, in an attempt to soothe you.

“I hate fighting with you, please come to bed with me. I just want to cuddle with my girl before a long day tomorrow” you let out a small giggle, trust Chris to make you smile so easily even after an argument. It’s one of the reasons why you love him so much.

You just nod, not saying another word as he lifts you into his arms, carrying you to the bedroom and pressing kisses to your head. 

He lays you down on the bed before getting in himself, he pulls the cover over the two of you “I’m glad we spoke about that” you rest your head on his chest as he throws his arm around you “me too” another forehead kiss and you’re out like a light. He listens to your light snores as you cuddle him more in your sleep and he just smiles. 

Chris gets your frustrations and your worries to a certain extent. He understands how his life can get in the way, it can make you insecure. He’s an actor, you’re not. You’re not famous at all. It’s a hard thing to accept but he’ll make sure that from now on, he does everything that he can to make you feel good enough.

-----------------------

As soon as you wake and look over to Chris’s side of the bed, you realise that he’s no longer there. He had an early start with filming for Defending Jacob. So it’s not a surprise to you. Instead of feeling shit about the scene he has to do today, you pull yourself out of the funk, reminding yourself of the words he spoke to you just last night.

“I love you and that’s all there is to it”

He does love you. He won’t stray, you’re the only one for him. 

You decide to shower, to take your mind off of it for now. 

Once you’ve showered, you change and dry your hair before doing your makeup, maybe dolling yourself up will help? Baking is also on the agenda. He’s not back until 5pm today, an earlier finish than normal. The schedule isn’t as hectic.

So you decide that you’re going to make some dinner later, ready for when he gets back. Some chicken and pasta should do, along with a cold beer, his favourite drink. You flop down onto the couch, picking the remote up to turn Netflix on, you have some time to kill before your business meeting over Zoom. Might as well watch more Vampire Diaries.

Your laptop starts making a noise, signalling that the call is ready, you gather your notes before joining the meeting. Your face pops up as well as your colleagues. This can be your distraction for the next hour or so. 

--------------

You finish up with dinner, putting the lid on the pot and making your way to the table with cutlery and drinks, ready for when Chris gets home. He texted that he was leaving the set, that was 10 minutes ago. He’s at least 20 minutes away. So he won’t be long.

Whilst you wait, you sit on the sofa again and you pick your book up and decide to continue reading. 

“Honey” he calls out before entering the room.

Chris’s eyes fix on you, a soft smile and a look of adoration in his eyes as he walks over to give you a kiss. You pull away before he can though. His eyes scan your face for a clue as to what’s got you acting off.

“So, how was she then?” 

He sighs, loudly as he gives you a look that screams ‘really Y/N’ you mean it in a sarcastic way though, just like when you ask “was she better than me?”

All of a sudden you’re being tugged further down the sofa by your legs, your book is pulled from your hands and he’s lifting up your dress, exposing your brand new laced panties. You can’t help but feel embarrassed slightly at his unsubtle and rather seductive behaviour. You don’t think twice about letting him get on with it though. 

“Does daddy need to prove to you that you’re the only one for him?” a pool starts to develop, you shiver at this words and the freezing cold temperature of his hands on your bare thighs. He lifts the dress up a little more until it’s up by your chest.

He pulls you down further before his fingers hook into the panties, sliding them down and off so he can really examine you. You hear a low growl erupt from him as he licks his lips before then taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

You whimper a little, the anticipation is all too much for you, watching him moan and groan at the sight of your soaked pussy. 

Just as you try to buck your hips up, his cold hand causes you to jolt as it pushes you back down.

“Down baby, let daddy make you feel good” 

And just like that, his tongue starts to lick you all over, his fingers circle your tight and needy hole, desperate for you to beg him before he plunges them deep inside of you. But words aren’t possible right now, you can’t even bring yourself to talk as he continues his assault on your sex. Licking, sucking and slurping. Even spitting on it before rubbing at your clit with his thumb, stretching it down as the rest of his hand holds you down on your stomach. 

“Fuck, Chris” you moan, realising what you said after. He prefers daddy, you know this. 

“Now now honey. You know that’s not my name right now, don’t you? I’ll let it go this time but i expect you to correct yourself”

“Sorry daddy”

“Good girl. Now, do you want my fingers baby?” you nod frantically, tugging at your bottom lip “yes. I do, please daddy” he shoves them into your mouth, letting you suck them until he decides that your poor cunt has suffered enough.

You hum against them before he finally removes them, wasting no time in sliding them into you, two to start off with and then a third is added. 

Your back arches at the extra addition and eventually that along with his mouth wrapped around your clit is far too much for you to handle. You’re so sensitive already, you can tell the climax is nearing. 

“Like this baby? Like my fingers filling you up huh?” he starts “daddy only has eyes for you princess, you should know that by now but i’ll tell you what. When we’re in bed later, i’ll prove it to you even more when i’m screaming your name as you make me cum” your walls flutter around his digits, making him smile even more, he enjoys watching you like this. 

He gets a thrill out of making your world spin. When your eyes roll back, when your back arches and your toes curl. Especially when you struggle to speak. They are the best times for him. He loves knowing that he’s the only one that can get you into that state.

His fingers get faster, dragging along your walls deliciously. His tongue flicks over your clit too, sucking occasionally and now your peak is just around the corner.

“Chris. Oh god Chris. I’m gonna cum” you yell, gripping onto his hand on your tummy, which he removes as he holds it above your head. Your hips start to buck like crazy.

“That’s it baby, cum for daddy”

The coil in your stomach finally snaps, thanks to his dirty words of encouragement. 

You don’t move, just lay there panting. Your heart beat is through the roof as you calm down after that intense orgasm. You’ve definitely needed that all day.

“I think we need dinner now” you say, sitting up and adjusting your dress but he just pulls you down so that you’re straddling him.

“There’s plenty more proof where that came from baby, so don’t think that was all” you feel your cheeks heat up as you suddenly go all shy. 

He’s most definitely proved himself but you can’t wait for round 2.

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