#academics describe the exact same issue

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

online brainrot and academic brainrot are the exact same thing to me. in my opinion

[literaryvein-reblogs]

15 Ways to Improve Your Vocabulary

in response to:

1. Develop a reading habit. Reading is the most effective way to build your vocabulary. Read books, magazines, and newspapers that cover a wide range of topics, and pay attention to unfamiliar words. Look up their meanings and try using them in context. Vocabulary building is easiest when you encounter words in context. Seeing words appear in a novel or a newspaper article can be far more helpful than seeing them appear on vocabulary lists. Not only do you gain exposure to unfamiliar words; you also see how they’re used. In fact, 15 minutes is recognized as the ideal time for students to see positive gains in reading achievement; students who read just over a half-hour to an hour per day improve the most.

2. Utilize word lists. They are incredibly flexible tools that can help you organize your learning in a variety of ways. For instance, vocabulary can be grouped into small, easy chunks that can be revisited for maximum learning benefits. Research shows that a word needs to be seen up to 10 times before we really learn it, and researchers believe that staggered repetition is the best way to learn new vocabulary. Word lists help keep vocabulary terms in manageable chunks that a student can come back to as they gain mastery. I have posted some word lists HERE and will continue to add to this in the future.

3. Use the dictionary and thesaurus. Online dictionaries and thesauruses are helpful resources if used properly. They can jog your memory about synonyms that would actually be better words in the context of what you’re writing. A full dictionary definition can also educate you about antonyms, root words, and related words, which is another way to learn vocabulary.

4. Keep a vocabulary journal. Making a vocabulary journal is a great place to collect and interact with words you hear or see in your reading. Each page should be dedicated to a singular new word, including its definitions, synonyms, and antonyms. Review the journal regularly to reinforce your learning. 

5. Choosing appropriate vocabulary. It’s important to use words and expressions that fit the context so your meaning is clear. For example, different audiences for your writing will require different levels of formality: the vocabulary you use in an academic essay may not be effective for a blogpost targeting a popular audience. Consider the following questions to help you choose the most appropriate words for your audience and purpose:

a. What’s the exact meaning of the word? Words may be broadly similar in meaning but differ in important aspects of that meaning. Consider the difference between ‘the fragrance of flowers’  and ‘the odour of rotten eggs.’ Both words refer to the sense of smell, but fragrance has a positive core meaning while odour has a negative one. If you don’t know what a word exactly means, check it in a dictionary. b. Is the word attached to a feeling? Compare the two sentences: ‘The freeway snakes through the town’ and ‘The freeway meanders through the town’. In this example, snake indicates negative feelings about the freeway while meander doesn’t. c. What level of intensity does the word show? Many words with similar meanings describe different degrees of the same quality or action. For example, ‘comical’, ‘hilarious’ and ‘side-splitting’  show different degrees of funniness. Think about the intensity of what you want to convey when choosing words. d. Is the word formal or informal? Go for formal words and expressions in business communication and academic writing. In the following examples, the second expression in each pair is more formal than the first: (1) come up with / create (2) one after another / at regular intervals (3) huge / considerable (4) enough / sufficient e. Is the word polite? Words which describe negative qualities or sensitive issues too directly can be offensive. Good communicators consider the feelings of their audience. For example, when writing about childhood obesity, it’s more appropriate to use ‘children with weight problems’ or ‘children of an unhealthy weight’ than ‘fat children’. f. Is the word specific or general? Use words with specific meanings whenever possible to make your message clearer to your audience. For example, avoid overusing general verbs such as ‘be’, ‘do’, ‘have’ and ‘get’, especially in academic writing, as they don’t accurately convey specific ideas. It’s better to use a more specific verb or verb phrase to strengthen your message. Compare the impact of the verbs in these sentences: ‘To be successful, learners need to have high-level literacy skills.’ ‘To be successful, learners need to develop and demonstrate high-level literacy skills.’ g. What other words does the word often go with? Some words are frequently used together and therefore sound more natural in combination. This is called collocation. For example, we say ‘fast train’ not ‘quick train’, but ‘quick shower’ not ‘fast shower’. Similarly, it’s more natural to say ‘highly critical’ rather than ‘deeply critical.’

6. Play word games. Classic games like Scrabble and Boggle can function as a fun way to expand your English vocabulary. Crossword puzzles can as well. If you really want to be efficient, follow up rounds of these word games with a little note-taking. Keep a list of the different words you learned while playing the game, and then study that list from time to time.

7. Use flashcards. A quick way to build a large vocabulary is to study a number of words via flashcards. In today’s digital age, a wide array of smartphone apps make flashcards convenient and easy to organize. Aiming for one new word a day is reasonable. You can always go for more, but it may not be reasonable to assimilate dozens of English words every single day.

8. Subscribe to “word of the day” feeds. Some web platforms will provide you with a word a day—either on a website, an app, or via email—to help you expand your vocabulary. You can add these words to running word lists.

9. Use mnemonics. A mnemonic device is a form of word association that helps you remember words’ definitions and proper uses. For instance think of the word obsequious which means “attempting to win favor from influential people by flattery.” Break down that word into components: “obse” is the beginning of “obsessed,” “qui” sounds like the French word for “yes” (oui), and “us” is like the word “us.” So you can think of that big word obsequious as “obsessed with saying yes to us”—which is kind of what it means!

10. Practice using new words in conversation. It’s possible to amass a huge vocabulary without actually knowing how to use words. This means you have to take it upon yourself to put your personal dictionary into use. If you come across an interesting word in your reading, make a point of using it in conversation. By experimenting in low-stakes situations, you can practice the art of word choice and, with a little bit of trial and error, hone in on the right word for a particular context. Furthermore, speaking to native – or non-native – speakers of English (or any language you are learning) will guarantee you the chance to learn new words. Anyone who has ever wondered how to develop their vocabulary will know that the most important thing is putting your vocabulary to use and hearing what people say in return. This is how language works, and before long you’ll be finding ways to work those new words into your everyday use of the language.

11. Watch movies and TV shows. This simple activity can expose you to new words and phrases. When watching TV or a movie, pay attention to the dialogue and note any unfamiliar words. When the TV show or movie is done, look up the meanings of the new words and try to use them in context.

12. Build a story. Learning vocabulary words outside of their context is difficult, so why not create context with some creative storytelling? This can be an individual writing activity or you can do this in a group. A sample group activity: Choose a word list and determine an order in which your students or friends will take their turn. Every person gets to choose one word from the word list. You begin by writing the first sentence of a story; each student then uses their chosen word in a sentence to build on the story. This gets learners comfortable using the words in sentences, and putting those individual vocabulary words into a broader context. This is also an activity you can do via text, chat window, or email, which makes it perfect for remote learning.

13. Draw it. Sometimes the best learning activities are ones that don’t feel like a learning activity. This can be an individual activity but can also be used in group settings. Here’s a way to turn vocabulary acquisition into a game: Ask each student to have a piece of paper and a pen or pencil ready, and tell them you are going to be playing a drawing game. Using the private chat feature of your remote learning software, choose one student and give them a word from your vocabulary list along with its definition, and tell them that they have 20 seconds to draw it. While the student is drawing it, make sure that you make their screen the main screen of the software. You can do a countdown to keep up the momentum, or play music while you wait. At the end of the time, the student shows their drawing to the other students: The first student to guess which vocabulary word has been drawn is the next student to draw. This activity is not only fun, but also benefits students who are visual or tactile learners.

14. Be aware of idioms. Idioms are commonly used word combinations or expressions. These have very specific meanings that are not obvious from the words they contain, e.g. ‘a piece of cake’, ‘get the hang of it’, ‘an Indian summer’, and ‘after a fashion’. Many dictionaries list and define idioms if you look up the component words. For example, try looking up ‘Indian’ or ‘summer’ to find ‘Indian summer’. Idioms are generally more appropriate for speaking and non-academic writing.

15. Practice, practice, practice. In many ways, vocabulary is like a muscle – it will get stronger the more you use it. The key to building a strong vocabulary is to use it regularly. Try using new words in your conversations, writing, and everyday life. The more that you use them, the more they will become a part of your everyday vocabulary.

Sources & other related articles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References

[reading-comp-posting]

Have you ever considered using AI tools to assist with writing your responses?

Well no, because I'm doing this blog for fun. I'm enjoying writing out reading comprehension questions for posts, so why would I automate that away?

But let's say that I saw myself as some sort of arbitor of reading comprehension who needs to post as much as possible to enlighten the lowly tumblr masses. Let's say that I'm interested in upping my output of questions by any means necessary.

I opened up chatgpt and input a certain request, which would hopefully make it write questions about the last post I responded to:

Write reading comprehension questions about a Tumblr post, written by a user named "echoeyee," that reads as folows: "my take on shipping aromantic characters is that if you're aro you get to do whatever you want and if you're not you have to write me a three page essay 12 pt font times new roman double spaced explaining in detail why you believe entering a romantic relationship would be an interesting and worthwhile storyline for the character and how you believe their aromanticism would affect the way they experience said relationship"

And it certainly did write a lot of questions about it. Let's go through them, one by one.

1. What is the primary stance expressed by the Tumblr user "echoeyee" regarding shipping aromantic characters?

This one is good. If you look at the set I wrote, my first one is basically the same, just with different words and a less formal tone.

2. According to the post, what conditions must non-aromantic individuals fulfill if they wish to advocate for romantic storylines involving aromantic characters?

Again, this one is good. It's basically my 3rd question but, yet again, more formal.

3. Describe the format and specifications outined for the essay mentioned in the post.

This is the part where the questions get bad. The exact details of the essay are irrelevant, other than the fact that they imply a formal, academic setting.

4. In your own words, explain the user's perspective on the autonomy of aromantic individuals in contrast to non-aromantic individuals when it comes to shipping characters.

This question seems to genuinely be a product of chatgpt pissing on the poor. The purpose of the post (and specifically the essay within) is to ask people who ship aromantic characters without being aromantic themself to consider said character's aromanticism instead of erasing it.

Meanwhile, chatgpt seems to think that the OP thinks that people who aren't aromantic should be forced by law or something to write an essay if they want to ship an aromantic character.

5. How does the Tumblr post reflect the user's views on representation and storytelling in relation to aromantic characters?

I think that this one is a bit too speculative, but it does actually relate to the OP's intended takeaway.

6. Discuss the potential implications of the requirements set forth in the post for writers and creators in the realm of fiction and fanworks.

This one is just a bit confusing. Chatgpt seems to be going off the assumption that OP is issuing a decree as the emperor of the world.

7. Reflect on whether you agree or disagree with the sentiments expressed in the post and provide reasons to support your viewpoint.

This could have been a "discuss with a mutual" question, and I actually did initially write a question like this one, but I ended up removing it.

Aromantiscism is already controversial enough and I fear that a discussion of whether OP's take on shipping aromantic characters is valid could quickly devolve into discussion on whether aromanticism itself is valid.

8. How might the user's approach impact discussions and representations of aromanticism in media and popular culture?

Yet again, chatgpt is taking the essay thing way too literally. Yes, forcing every single writer who isn't aromantic but wants to ship an aromantic character to write an essay about it would most likely lead to a decrease in people erasing their identities, but the essay isn't the point.

9. Consider the broader societal and cultural context in which this post is situated. How might prevailing attitudes towards romantic relationships influence reactions to the user's perspective?

Obviously historical context is important to keep in mind when you're reading/listening to/watching/whatever a text, but this question has almost nothing to do with reading comprehension. You need to understand the post to imagine how people would react, sure, but understanding how people would react to the post doesn't help you understand this post very much.

10. What insights can be gleaned from this post regarding the importance of diverse and inclusive storytelling in media and creative works?

This could be a discuss with a mutual question. The issue is that it's a bit to broad of a topic.

[moralesmilesanhour]

Every time i think about atsv and its themes, my mind keeps going back to the scene with Miles and his parents in that college counselor’s office, and what its purpose is.

It establishes the strain that being Spider-Man has put on their relationship, yes - it also establishes that Miles feels trapped and limited, yes - but a lot of fandom discussion overlooks the important parallel that that scene sets in motion between racism in academia and Miles' rejection from Spider Society.

By now, everyone has already figured out that the issue with the 'Canon Event' theory is that it assumes that trauma - specifically experiencing the "right" traumatic events - is what makes a Spider-Man, and it is wrong for Miles to be required to accept this. It isn't enough that he had his uncle die, his father must die also because then he will have sacrificed "enough" to keep the canon intact. No one questions why arbitrary sacrifice is required at all.

The concept of the personal statement being required for college applications, I would like to argue, has the exact same issue.

Miles even says so in the beginning of the movie: "Having 'a story' in the first place sounds gross" (notice how Miles vocally critiques elite academia contantly and has been from the get-go. He is not an apolitical character like some might portray him to be).

It is not enough that Miles is an exceptional student with a variety of interests (art and science), he must have the appropriate traumatic "story" for white academic institutions to find him interesting enough as an applicant, even if the story they want him to tell is not actually his story (no, he is not from a "struggling immigrant family". They own an apartment floor and PR is in the United States). Just like the "Canon events" that Miguel describes are not Miles' story, and Miles does not want them to be because it requires the preventable deaths of innocent people.

In a similar way that has been touched upon more in wider fandom, Rio gives Miles a speech telling him not to let the people in these overwhelmingly-white spaces that he will be entering tell him that he doesn't belong. That speech, as we all know, ends up being a direct parallel to the way Spider Society treats him: he is simultaneously a charity case and a threat just by his mere presence. His very existence is disruptive to the canon: The spider wasn't "supposed" to bite him, he just got lucky. There is a reason why the visual of the ball with Miles' lottery number is constantly paired with the number on the spider that bit him; they are one and the same.

(Side note: this is also what makes Hobie's function as a character so interesting - The idea that you can just simply quit. You do not HAVE to be in these privileged spaces if they don't have your best interests in mind. You don't have to prove yourself to these people to be who you are. But that's a post for another day)

The reason I've been thinking about all this is because I feel like no one really touches upon why Miles' character exists. Like, on a thematic level. Yes, he's there to show that "anyone can wear the mask", but there's a lack of specificity in that statement that I wanted to address with this post.

Miles is a love letter to every black kid that's been told that they're only in the spaces they're in because they "got lucky". He's for every black kid that's ever looked at a college app and been told that they have to take their trauma and put it on display for some white admissions officer to shed a tear over. He's there to argue that you don't have to bend towards any of society's attempts to make a spectacle or a serviceable machine out of you, and that you can just be.

TL;DR: it was never just about the mask MWAH 🫶🏾

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: JLCederblom

Published: Apr 30, 2024

One of the most basic errors you would expect to be caught in peer-reviewed academic literature is plain data errors. They require no real expertise to catch and tend to be trivial to fix. It’s simply part of regular proof reading that any serious article of any sort should undergo.

So why are papers on transition regret rife with ridiculous errors, such as inventing thousands of people out of thin air? And why do those errors occur in the first place?

Let’s have a look at the latest in a long line of peer-reviewed garbage: “A Systematic Review of Patient Regret After Surgery- A Common Phenomenon in Many Specialties but Rare Within Gender-Affirmation Surgery” by Thornton et al.

This piece self-identifies as a systematic review, which it simply isn’t, but that’s rather technical (and, dare I say, academic) compared to the grievous errors in the paper, and will require some back-and-forth with the journal. Going over all of that in detail will take time and isn’t that interesting — although if the paper does get corrected or retracted, it’ll likely be due to such procedural issues rather than overarching problems.

While many individuals report satisfaction and improved measures of mental health after undergoing gender affirming surgery, there is a small but vocal minority who experience regret after their procedures.⁴ De-transitioning, also known as continued gender transition, has been exhaustively covered in the mainstream and conservative media and is an emerging area of study in gender affirming care.

The paper also has a rather noticeable disdain for the subject matter and a clear agenda with the goal of minimizing transition regret as a niche, “exhaustively covered” issue, championed by a “small” but unnecessarily “vocal” group.

Let’s have a look at the sources the paper cites for the rate of regret.

* * *

First up: Wiepjes et al., 2018.

A study performed in Amsterdam retrospectively examined 6,793 patients who attended a gender identity clinic in Amsterdam from 1972 to 2015 and found 0.6% and 0.3% of transwomen and transmen reported experiencing regret after gender affirming surgery, respectively. The authors noted that reasons for regret could be divided into three categories. True regret was defined as regretting having GAS. Social regret involved losing touch with loved ones or being fired from a job because of GAS. Lastly, some participants reported feeling non-binary and no longer feeling satisfied with their surgical result. Average time to experiencing regret was 130 months (more than 10 years) post-operatively.³⁰

This is simply erroneous. The authors make the claim that Wiepjes et al., 2018, measured reports of “experiencing regret after gender affirming surgery”. This is false, as the study first required hormonal detransition, the cessation of cross-sex hormone treatment and going back on your natal sex hormones, at the same clinic. Every time the authors describe this as only measuring “experienced regret” they are not being truthful.

In addition, the number who were investigated for this rather specific definition of regret was not 6,793 but 2,627. I’m not sure what the exact purpose of putting the number of people who visited the clinic, including those who never transitioned whatsoever, is but it certainly inflates the number.

You might ask yourself how it’s possible that the authors read Wiepjes et al., 2018, but did not manage to understand what was investigated, nor how many people were looked at. The most likely answer, to me at least, is that none of the authors, peer reviewers, or editors, actually read the paper.

* * *

Next up: Bustos et al., 2021. If you need a primer on this, I’ve written about it before.

In 2021, a systematic review and meta-analysis was completed which assessed 27 studies, including a total of 7,928 transgender individuals. One third of the included individuals underwent transmasculine procedures, while the remaining two thirds underwent transfeminine procedures. Of the 7,928 individuals included in the analysis, 1.0% expressed regret. The most common reason for post-operative regret was “difficulty/dissatisfaction in life with the new gender role.” Another common reason was failure of surgery to achieve their aesthetic surgical goals. The authors hypothesized that the rate of regret established by this metanalysis was lower than a previously established rate from 1993 due to increased rigor in the selection process before gender affirming surgery.

Bustos et al., 2021, pulls together all the greatest hits of gender pseudoscience: erroneous data, fraudulent methods, zero peer-review, irresponsibility (or perhaps hostility) from the journal, and more. It’s a paper where the factual error count is in the triple digits to this day.

However, after wrangling the arms of the journal editors a bit, they put out a partial correction (where they actually introduced some new errors as well as fixed a handful). The lowest possible bar you could hold the authors against in this 2024 paper is that they used that 2022 “correction.”

Of course they didn’t.

An inability to even copy and paste numbers is what we’re dealing with here. From the entire chain, authors through editors. It ties into the previous paper as well—if Thornton et al. had read Wiepjes et al., 2018, they would be entirely equipped to see through Bustos et al., which makes the exact same nonsensical mistakes they did.

I would provide an exact number instead of 7,928 here, but it’s not actually possible to do that because one of the included papers reports contradictory numbers, which Bustos et al. didn’t mention or, more likely, even notice. Another provides an estimate rather than exact figures. They also included papers which did not investigate a regret rate in the review, which is just bizarre.

Either way, out of the claimed 7,928 people, at least 3,400 were not investigated for regret in any way. As previously mentioned another 2,627 had a requirement that you had to hormonally detransition in order to count as regretful. Another didn’t measure regret at all, simply legal sex marker reversals. If you go through the papers and add up the number of people who were explicitly asked about regrets (in any way) you get around 1,300. With unknown loss to follow-up, often very short follow-up, and no uniformity to the way they were asked.

Which apparently to Thornton et al., the peer-reviewers, and the journal editors, is enough to conclusively state that we know the rate of transition regret.

* * *

Next up is Narayan et al., 2021, which was a combined survey and systematic review. See if you can spot the sleight of hand.

Another study surveyed all surgeons registered for the 2016 World Professional Association for Transgender Health and the 2017 US Professional Association for Transgender Health. Most respondents practiced in the United States and had surgically treated at least 100 transgender or gender-nonconforming patients. Of the 30% of surgeons that completed the survey, 61% respondents had treated at least one patient who experienced regret or requested reversal of a procedure. Overall, the calculated rate of regret after gender affirming surgery was 0.2%-0.3%. Of the 62 patients that respondents reported had sought reversal surgery, reasons for reversal included surgical complications, continued evolution of their gender identity, rejection or alienation from social support, and difficulty in romantic relationships.⁵

An anonymous survey of WPATH or USPATH conference attendants with 70 percent non-respondents (fairly catastrophic given the population), asking them to estimate the number of patients they’ve surgically transitioned (somewhere between 18,125 and 27,325) and how many patients they’ve “encountered” (meaning what?) who “regretted their gender transition” (open for a wide range of interpretations) is not a very serious approach.

The paper sometimes treats “regret,” “reversal request,” and “detransition” as the same thing, sometimes not. The authors (both Narayan et al. and Thornton et al.) seem very confused about what the respondents were actually talking about. Usually, when you’re confused, the right thing to do is to slow down and work it out. Not to take the decision to treat 62 patients seeking surgical reversal as “the regret rate”—which is absurd, and reveals the authors’ intellectual, or rather emotional, bias towards presenting as low a number as possible.

* * *

Next up is Bruce et al., 2023.

Recently, research from the University of Michigan demonstrated low levels of regret after gender-affirming mastectomy in a cross-sectional study. On average, respondents underwent surgery 3.6 years before the survey. The median Decision Regret Scale score was 0.0. Further, of the 139 respondents, zero requested reversal procedures.³²

The respondents certainly reported low decision regret. Of course, 3.6 year mean follow-up is less than most studies put the average time to regret at, and a 40 percent non-response rate is… an issue. It’s also exclusively following mastectomy, and that this often provides (at least) short term relief from breast-related distress seem highly plausible.

If Thornton et al. was a systematic review rather than a literature review with a (very poor) systematic search, these issues would be explored and Bruce et al. would take its rightful place as low quality evidence for potential short term benefits. Presenting it as evidence of a low regret rate, however, is ridiculous.

On a side note, Bruce et al. also cites erroneous data from Bustos et al., this time regarding follow-up times rather than sample sizes. It truly is the gift that keeps giving in terms of academic misinformation.

* * *

The final thing referenced is the 2022 USTS Early Insight report.

In February 2024, the 2022 US Transgender Survey Early Insight report was published, providing data from 92,329 binary and nonbinary transgender people. This report noted that 97% of respondents who had undergone gender-affirming surgery reported that they were “a lot more satisfied” or “a little more satisfied” with their lives.³³

This was an anonymous online survey recruiting participants via advocacy groups, and described as “a survey for trans people, by trans people.”

When Thornton et al. describe it as “92,329 binary and nonbinary transgender people” they actually get that wrong as well, as the report describes it as “38% nonbinary, 35% transgender women, 25% transgender men, and 2% crossdressers.” This may seem like nitpicking, but it actually describes the inconsistencies of the worldview that Thornton et al. champion.

Other than poking fun at them, there isn’t much more to say here. The Early Insight report doesn’t discuss regret, which is why they didn’t claim it did. Which would make it odd that they put it under the heading “Regret After Gender-Affirming Surgery” if you’re operating under the assumption that Thornton et al. are writing an academic paper, but that’s clearly not the intention.

* * *

Human writing has many purposes. The most obvious is communication, to convey thoughts and ideas to others. But we also do it for fun, or to assist ourselves, to organize our thoughts, all sorts of ways. Academic papers of this sort, however, are supposed to have a single purpose: to inform others.

When people write falsehoods, figuring out why they do so is interesting. It tells us something about them. For example, when Thornton et al. repeat erroneous data about papers, it tells us that they didn’t care. Despite using emotive language about regret, it tells us that they don’t care enough about the reality of regret to even read a six page paper (a very low bar), but they were happy to write a paper about it.

So why did they write this paper, despite not caring about the topic?

Research on regret after gender-affirming surgery poses unique challenges, as patients may fear that their regret could be weaponized against the transgender community. Those who seek to limit access to GAS often use regret as a key element in their arguments and in proposed legislation.

The aim of Thornton et al. appears to be to muddy the waters and push their own narrative, as the errors are not random but rather all go in the same direction. They are concerned with the consequences of regret, not regret itself. They simply aimed to distract people, and to breathe some new life into old misinformation, and they accomplished that.

There’s a steady stream of blatant garbage flowing through journals in this field. It’s not the replication crisis of science at large, or publication bias, and it’s not about large scale matters out of control—although structural vulnerabilities in the publishing process of journals is of course an issue.

In the end it comes down to emotionally driven choices by the individuals involved allowing falsehoods to be printed. The paper is a thinly veiled ideological document masquerading as science, but whether it highlights the complicity or just the illiteracy of the peer-reviewers and editors is yet to be determined.

*This article was originally published on JLCederblom’s blog on Medium.

==

They don't care about protecting people, they only care about protecting the cult. The point is to portray the cult as infallible, that the dogma and the doctrine is never wrong, it's only the members following the doctrine and dogma that are wrong. They don't have enough faith. They were never a true Scotsman. All the usual stuff.

[gwemmieee]

I've just figured out some big things, and... yeah. It's not fair or sensitive to hold everyone to the exact same standard. Some of us have suffered a lot more than others, and the more you have suffered, the more you deserve grace when you're so exhausted that you slip up in your overwhelming and obsessive effort to be good to everyone.

I love giving space to anyone who's being honest about the ways they've been hurt. But once they've personally hurt me, or if the systemic issues they're describing have an even greater effect on me, I should not be held to as high a standard of perfection in how I speak and express my feelings. I should just be heard. Failing to treat me this way... I think that is the true definition of one-upping another's trauma.

From now on, I'm gonna be wary around masculine people who specifically only want to talk about their pain without giving me any space for mine as a very feminine woman. And similarly for cis people as a trans person. And wealthy people as a poor person. And neurotypical people as a neurodivergent person. And abled people as a disabled person. And parented people as an emotional orphan. And etc.

And from now on, if someone who is intersex, or BIPOC, or not white passing, or homeless, or less non-mad-passing than me, or more disabled than me, etc., is wary of me specifically because I unnecessarily forced them to have to silently process their own oppression just to be able to hear me, I'm gonna understand and respect that. It's so obvious to me now. Their oppression is not my fault, personally, but that doesn't mean they don't have completely valid reasons to find my presence actively exhausting. I'm not gonna be able to make that go away. I can either be sensitive to that or miss out on maximizing what connection with them I actually have access to.

And that doesn't mean I have to always turn the other cheek when someone is being just plain nasty to me, because I don't have to throw myself under the bus to be sensitive, and being sensitive doesn't mean I don't have my own limits.

We're honestly lucky to have all these academic and grassroots social justice discussions just a web search away. It's usually so fucking hard to ever know for sure whether another person has had it so hard that it's a struggle to be any better, or is just presenting that way to manipulate you. It's still really hard now. But our modern education and dissemination of marginalized groups' collective experiences shines a huge light on so much of it, and that gives us so much more opportunity to REALLY connect with folks from very different perspectives.

This feels like real feminism to me.

[binders-and-beanies]

Studying the dsm for school n it was so cool to get to the dyspraxia part :) I wish our section was more than 3 pages when other stuff gets 10+ and it’s def incomplete like there are some essential things not mentioned but at the same time u cannot explain dyspraxia in one book no matter how many hundreds of pages it is. N it obviously aligns w the way I was diagnosed bc those doctors studied it the same way but it’s cool to see it even briefly mentioned in my grad school curriculum esp in a way where it’s like. So many people who just don’t believe me abt so many things are proven wrong in just 3 pages.

You can cover your ears all you want but the people who actually work w this subject understand it and the more educated a professional becomes the more accurate their understanding of dyspraxia is. I appreciated how it explained in what situations it’s appropriate to also be diagnosed w an intellectual disability and it described my exact situation (no shit, that’s what I’m diagnosed w and these are the criteria they used) and how it talked abt joint issues and pain as well despite it being a book abt the brain. I would love to find ways to incorporate it into my work in this course and I feel inspired to like. Use my voice more as a dyspraxic academic

[homo-rashi]

Roommates (Original Work) Ch 3.

The Favor (contains Omorashi)

Read it on my Ao3 here: Link

“That is so totally unfair!” August lays his head back into the plush cushion of the green common room sectional,

“You're right! It's totally not fair! You try being woken up three times a night by fourteen-year-old freshman who can't sleep and still wet the be-” Rowans eyes widen when August visibly tenses at his words. August tries not to look uncomfortable at the mention of anyone wetting the bed but clearly, that didn't work. “Sorry, What I mean is, It's fair to whoever would have been my roommate! Since I'm bunking alone, nobody else has to be bothered by my duties as an RA.”

“But you have your own room! You don't have to deal with a Max…” August brushes past the awkwardness, his need to complain about his last few night living with what he can only describe as a ‘caricature of an American bad boy’

“I have to deal with all thirty of my freshmen dealing with their own ‘Max’. Do you know how many physical fights I’ve had to break up already?” August shrugs, thinking about Rowan having to pull two Freshman off each other like two chihuahuas.

“If Max tried to actually fight me, I'd be a goner.” August thinks out loud. Max is taller than him by a good few inches. He definitely seems like he has more experience, just from the way he talks and acts and looks…

“Well yeah, he’s a whole year older than-” Rowan pauses picking at the bowl of half eaten popcorn in his lap, “Fuck, pretend I didn't just say that.” August immediately cannot pretend he did not just say that.

“Am I the only sophomore rooming with a junior? Why? Would that be a good enough reason to put in a roommate change request?” August immediately has his mind racing with possibility. The faint dream he had in his head of getting a roommate who was a gentle, queer, sciency guy who really liked plants and made their dorm room feel alive and wears little patterned socks with corduroy overalls, flutters in his stomach. The exact opposite of Max. His wardrobe is seemingly all black beside his school uniform. The room is decorated with monster cans and vape residue rather than carefully tended to greenery, and instead of waking up to sunlight, August has woken up to the RGB lights on Max's computer cycling randomly through what he calls ‘disco mode.’

“Max is a sophomore…He just was held back in seventh grade.” August mouth falls into a little oh shape, that makes sense for some reason. He doesn't seem like the type to actually care about school, Not that August really cares all that much, He finds it easy and studying relaxing. A good combo generally when it comes to academics.

“How do you know this? Does being an RA give you like…access to our files???” August asks, suddenly worried that Rowan knows about his water issue and the fact that he has been seeing a shrink since he was 10. Not that either of those things are less embarrassing then everything else he knows at this point, but he would like to keep some things private if possible.

“Oh god, no no no! I wish! I just went to the same middle school as him. He transferred into the class above me in the middle of his seventh year. Everyone thought he was so cool because we were poor public school kids and he was this bad boy private school guy. My friends all had a big crush on him until the next year when we ended up in the same class as him because he flunked or something…I don't really- Listen we have an understanding with each other, I don't tell anyone about that and he doesn't tell anyone that before last year I was a girl called Riley.” Rowan says the last part under his breath, even though They are the only two people in the common room at the moment.

“Is he really holding up his end of the bargain if he called you ‘manboobs’ to my face?” August frowns slightly, feeling like Rowan is getting the short end of the stick in this situation. Trusting someone like Max to keep a secret so big, that you're trans, is way different than a nice person like Rowan keeping the lid on the fact he did bad at multiplication in middle school…

“You probably won't get this but at the end of the day, in my eyes,at least he is calling me a man. I have been called way worse things by way worse guys” That doesn't make August feel any better,

“I-yeah, I don't get it because I'm not out to anyone really, except my Dad and that's only a recent thing…” August wants to help, but has no idea how. He isn't trans. He has never questioned his gender, He has never had a reason too. Of course he knows Trans people exist, but he has never known a trans person on a personal level before, and heard first hand what their struggles are.

“Wait? Really! That's great August! When did you tell him, how did it go???” August smiles slightly at Rowan’s sudden excitement. Seeing him smile after talking about Max for the past hours makes him realize how hyper focused on the whole roommate situation he has been, and that possibly Max isn't a great topic for Rowan.

- Beeeeeeep -

“Well,” August gets up at the sound of the washer finishing its last spin cycle, Rowan idly follows him into the laundry room, “My Mom and Dad just got divorced, or are getting divorced and when my dad found out that my mom…Cheated, He sat me down and was telling me all about how when I get married, and find a wife, or when I get my first girlfriend, going on and on about How I should not let what my mom did affect how I see my relationships with women…So” August pauses to start the loud dryer he just shoved his sheets into, this time having washed them first, thankfully.

“I just nonchalauntly corrected him when he brought up my future wife, by saying ‘or husband.” August smiles recalling the interaction, how his dad mirrored his words ‘or husband’ to which August replied, "definitely husband.”

“And that was it? He took it well?” Rowan asks, smiling wide

“I mean, We didn't talk about it at all after…but he didn't get mad so, yeah I'd say he took it well. What about you? Are your parents cool with…?” August asks, keeping his question vague seeing a group of guys walk past the laundry room door.

“Wanna go to my room? I don't think anyone is gonna actually steal your stuff, for the record.” August nods, admittedly, he has been curious about what Rowan's room actually looks like, being a single and all.

* * * Rowan’s room isn't that different from August's room except for two things. The first being everything is more open and spacious. The bed isn't lofted, instead being at a normal height and the tall wardrobe is replaced with a long dresser with a mirror hanging above it.

The second difference August immediately noticed in the inconspicuous door on the far left of the room that's slightly ajar revealing a private en-suite bathroom.

“You have your own bathroom? What about the one the teachers let you use?” August looks at Rowan, who is leaning down and pulling out two bottles of water from their red retro looking mini fridge.

“That was last year, when I wasn't an RA…why do you think I even applied to be an RA in the first place.” Rowan quirks an eyebrow up with a smirk. August takes the water bottle from him and takes a seat in Rowan’s desk chair adorned with a fluffy blanket.

“You asked me about my parents…” Rowan gets the topic back on track. August set his attention back to Rowan and not how incredibly jealous he is about the room situation. “I don't like anyone knowing that I'm the way that I am…but of course they had to know because they are my parents. It's just-” Rowan hesitates, August feels like what he is trying to say is difficult, so he lets him take his time.

“You don't have to tell me if it's hard to talk about…I know these things can be tough.” August offers him an out,

“That's the thing. My parents were so supportive! They were perfect! I-I don't want to sound ungrateful because I know how privileged I am but my mom specifically made me being trans my everything…Every holiday, some gift is white, pink and blue. Every time she tells me she loves me she has to specify that I'm ‘so brave for doing this.’ That's half the reason I begged to go to boarding school, I just-”

“Wanted to be a guy, not a trans guy?” August caught onto what Rowan is saying, relating to it in a way. “I've felt that. Back home, I had some guy friends, We weren't like close, they didnt know Im gay obviously, but I always felt like they were the guys, so close with each other and I would always just be ‘the gay guy’ even if I didn't tell them, It was obvious i'm different and was treated as such even in small ways…” August doesnt know why he feels comfortable telling all of this to Rowan, but He does, so he is going with it. Anxiety be damned, opening up like this feels better than any of his therapists have ever made him feel.

“You get it. Fuck. You know, I don't feel like that with you. I don't feel like you're other-ing me.” August smiles at that. He honestly was worried he had been acting a bit weird, not fully because of the trans thing, but a little bit, mostly because of his own embarrassment. “I guess I'm glad your parents got divorced.” Rowan jokes, earning a punch in the arm from August. “It's lonely being here…or I guess, it's been lonely, maybe now it won't be.”

August mirrors the sentiment. The first few hours in his dorm alone with Max after the first day was jarring. The things he would say to whoever he was playing his online games with certainly didn't make August feel welcome And he could only hear half the conversation, He could only imagine what else was being said about ‘fags and trannys’ on the other end. Regret seeped deep into his bones regarding the decision to up and leave his Dad and come here. Not to mention waking up the next morning with wet sheets, having to deal with his mess alone with nobody to tell him they would handle it and to go take a bath, like his mom used to, Feeling for the first time since he found out what she did, the need to just have her by his side, was rough.

Today though, he had Rowan who happened to stumble upon him in the laundry room, on the brink of tears because he forgot his student card that he had just loaded with money, the last of his pocket money his dad sent him for the month, in his room. Not the end of the world, but it was just building and building. Rowan offered to pay for it and for him to go shower while everyone was still asleep, without asking any questions or giving any signs of judgment. They sat and watched a movie on mute as the sun came up waiting for the laundry to finish, picking on a bowl of popcorn somebody left in the lounge last night.

“I gotta get back before Max wakes up, I don't want to have to explain why I was doing laundry in the middle of the night.” August jumps off the bed, not really wanting to leave the safe feeling of this room.

“Do you…? have an explanation, I mean? I-I don't want to pry like it's totally none of my business but if you're sick I can help you see the nurse.”

“It's not usually this bad!…I'm just stressed. It's an anxiety thing.” August says honestly. Because it usually isn't every single night, just once or twice a week. Usually. Sometimes…if he is lucky.

“Good ole’ mental health, Anxiety, gotta love her.” Rowan says, lightening the moon. August smiles and leaves, gathering his sheets and making sure the coast is clear before darting up the stairs as quickly as possible. He can now skip two stairs if he concertrains on not falling, greatly improving his travel time.

His dorm is just as quiet and peaceful as when he left it. The one redeeming quality of Max is that he is a very sound sleeper. August manages to make his bed without Max even stirring. He jumps back into bed with no intention of falling back asleep. The quiet of the room is interrupted not even a few minutes later by a harsh vibration against the wooden desk across the room.

August watches threw half open lids Max jumping from his bed and grabbing his phone, still pretending to be asleep.

“Yo-” Max's voice sounds different, deeper and laced with concern, “no. Fuck! I thought-” August is startled by the sudden yelling, He sits up and pretends to rub his eyes, making eye contact with Max instantly. “Just stay there! Don’t move. I have a plan.” Max hangs up the phone and immediately starts rummaging through his wardrobe, shedding his Pajamas without a care in the world that another person is in the room, August looks away out of respect anyways.

“I'm calling in that favor…” Max says sliding a backpack over his left shoulder, slipping his shoes on as he speaks. “I'll explain when I'm back but you just have to go with it.” August just nods, not wanting to protest considering a. Max seems pissed and b. He does owe him for saving his ass on his first day here. Max makes his leave quickly and August is left to worry the entire morning what exactly Max is going to have him do.

* * *

It’s dark by the time Max reappears in the dorm. August had given up waiting for him and spent his day organizing his things and finally calling his dad to tell him all about how wonderful boarding school is. The lingering thought of what he was gonna have to do for Max hung over his head all day. His imagination running wild. Thought of becoming a drug mule, causing his family even more shame then his mother has when he inevitably gets caught or worse, Having to fight someone for him. He would lose instantly. He would only hope he would come out of it alive thanks to modern medicine.

So when Max walks in the door with a second backpack on his shoulder, and a short, brown haired kid holding onto his arm. August was more than a little confused.

“Go. but be quiet and don't touch anything on my friend's side.” Friend? August quirks an eyebrow at Max who motions for him to come over. “You can use my computer but don't message any of my friends.” Max says before pushing August out the door and gently closing it behind them.

“Who is that?” August asks, seriously wondering if the kid is young enough to in fact be Max’s but deciding the math just doesn't add up, even knowing he is a year older.

“What does it look like, Its my fucking little brother.” Max sounds angry, But August can see the dark circles under his eyes and smells something strange on this breath, something he recognizes-

“Are you drunk?” He asks, pulling Max closer and smelling, And yes, He reeks of booze.

“Dont fucking smell me! What the fuck! And yes but- Fuck! Just Shut up and don't ask questions. You have to let him stay here.” For being drunk, Max seems to have a grasp on what he wants, August sighs,

“Why, What happened? Why are you drunk?” August is more than a little concerned. This is not what he signed up for, nor what he expected.

“Wait till the kid falls asleep, then we can talk- He needs food.” Max shoves his hands into his pocket and pulls out a wad of crumpled up dollar bills, shoving them into August's hands.

“Go to the vending machine. It's outside by the teachers' dorms and you can get whatever would be a good dinner for a thirteen-year-old boy.” August stairs down at his hands, then at his shoeless feet. Max must notice because he quickly shoves off his sneakers before returning to the room, August hears a click of the lock.

He slides on Max’s shoes cringing at how warm and sweaty they are on his sockless feet. He makes quick work at getting to the vending machine. Of course once he gets there he realizes it only takes student cards. Luckily after this morning, he is trying to make a habit of always having it on his person. He picks out some mini pretzels and cranberry juice. It was either that or Mini Oreos and a Diet Coke and that didn't seem like all the healthy of a dinner. He hides them in his pockets and stealthily makes his way back into the dorms.

He tries the handle and of course, it's locked. He knocks gently and hears nothing behind the door. He instantly worries that this was some sort of prank and Max just wanted to lock him out so his Brother would have his bed for the night, instantly he panics at that thought, because his brother might notice his special sheet. His worry is dampened when he door clicks open, and a small head peeks out the door.

“You’re Max's friend.” The tired voice says,

“I am, Can I come back inside? I'm not supposed to be out here.” The door swings open and moments later and August walks in, kicking the foul sneaks off into Max’s side of the room, just missing a bundled up pile of blankets and his stuffed shark on the ground.

“Is that your bed?” August asks, taking the food out from his pocket and handing it to the kid, who instantly lights up and grabs at the bag of pretzels.

“Yeah, I think this is yours, Max said you wouldn't mind if I borrowed him for the night.” August smiles at the boy holding the shark in his arms as he takes a large handful of the snack, August realizes the kid is small, for being thirteen. He would have thought he was seven or eight at most. August realizes he needs to know more and since Max, who he has since realized is passed out from the snoring filling the room, might not get a chance to talk to him without his older brother interfering.

“What's your name?” August asks quietly,

“Gray.” The kid answers casually, August is grateful Max did not swear him to secrecy as to not reveal anything to anyone, August sits down on the floor next to him.

“Gray, Can I ask why you are sleeping on our floor?” August asks, holding his tongue as the kid looks up, clearly deep in thought.

“Father was up all night again, so this morning he started early.” Gray says yawning into his drink,

“Started what, Work?” August asks, ignoring the weird feeling he gets from Gray addressing his dad as ‘father’. Gray nods his head,

“Drinking.” Augusts stomach drops slightly, thinking the dad must have a drinking problem, even though he shouldn't, his worry turn to the drunk roomates sleeping in his bed,

“And your brother…does he often drink like your father…?” August asks, but feel slightly guilty using this tired, clearly starving kid for this kind of information.

“No!” Gray suddenly yells, August lunges forward and puts his finger to his lips, pointing at Max, “Max doesn't drink! He hates alcohol, says it tastes like butthole. H-He had to drink with Father today, just this once. Father drinks more in company then goes to sleep, that's when he was able to sneak me out.” Gray says, August feels like more of the pieces have clicked into place.

“Why did you need to sneak out of the house?” August asks,

“Mom has been away for weeks at a conference in Europe, and Father doesn't like to cook or clean or help me with my homework when mom isn't here, so I called Max and he said I could stay here until mom gets back.” Gray says, crumpling up the empty back of pretzels and putting his hand out. August accepted the garbage and got up from the floor, throwing it into the garbage and getting into bed. * * *

“Hey, Pssst! Hey” August was awakened by the feeling of something pointy repeatedly jabbing into his back, “Psssst.” He rolled over at the persistent noise, to find himself face to face with a shaggy mop of brown hair.

“Gray?” August groaned, remembering the child that fell asleep on his floor, looking over at the windows behind his bed, it's still dark outside. “What's up?” August asks, sitting up from bed.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Gray said, in a whisper, August rubbed his eyes and looked around the room, Max was still sleeping face down in his bed, snoring.

“Did you try to ask your brother?” August asks, sleepy,

“Yes, but he won't get up, he is really tired.” August takes a moment for his brain to wake up, remembering Max’s toxic stench last night, he suspects he is even heavier of a sleeper because of the alcohol. August gives in, realizing Max isn't gonna be of any help, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, When he realizes, his pants are dry. Suddenly he is wade awake, patting the sheets as he scoots forward. He confidently jumps off of the lofted bed, feeling relieved, except, the hard wood floors sending a cold sensation up his body forces him to cross his legs.

“Are you okay?” Gray asks, already standing by the door with a pair of Max's slides slipped onto his small feet.

“Uh huh,” August says quietly, waiting for the sudden intense desperation to fade. He didn't wake up in wet sheets, because he hasn't pissed himself, yet…but he was close to doing it now. August looks to Gray, who was shifting slightly where he was sitting and decided he needed to pull himself together and get them both to the bathroom.

“Let's go, and remember to be quiet, everyones sleeping.” August said, pulling his thighs as far apart as needed to walk. Forgoing shoes all together because bending down to grab his slippers from his wardrobe would not end well with the current state of his bladder.

Thankfully, their hallways are empty. August can't imagine its past four in the morning. August can't imagine anything except for walking up to the urinal, pulling himself out just above his sweatpants and releasing the nights worth of pee that was once destined to be in his sheets. How amazing it will feel to have his pee go where it belongs, the warm liquid running down his leg- August brain lost if though is suddenly jolted to his current predicament, from a warm drop of pee running down the inside of his sweatpants as his foot took its first step down the stairs.

Immediately, August stopped. Throwing both his hands between his legs, letting out a painful whine, practically feeling his pee go back up inside of him. He would have let go completely if he didn't snap back to reality.

“Do you have to go pee?” August turns his head to see Gray standing behind him on the stairs with a confused look on his face.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” August could almost laugh if he didnt think it would cause him to lose the battle. A battle he is determined to not lose in front of his scary roommate's younger brother.

“Come on, let's hurry then. It's not good to wait till the last second. Father always yelled at me and Max for doing that when we were little.” August doesnt have time to react before Gray is grabbing his arm at the elbow, forcing him to keep walking down the many flights of stairs.

August is grateful while cleaning earlier he decided to put on his darkest pair of gray sweatpants because by the time he reaches the bottom of the stairs going at Gray's pace, a wet patch the size of a grapefruit is under his hands, but it's not that noticeable. August takes over leading the way, making the fastest turn of his life and walking his way down to the bathroom, hunched over, just trying to make the final stretch.

August goes in and Gray turns right, towards where the showers are. August wants to just ignore him, run to the urinals and then help the kid find his way, but he decides against it,

“Gray! The stalls are over here.” August yells, and waits a few seconds. Gray comes running back,

“Oops,” He says, walking fastly past August and going into the first stall that comes into view. August thanks every god imaginable he chose a stall and not the urinal. The door at least will create some sense of privacy.

August walks up to the urinal and relives his earlier fantasy, pulling himself out, although it's not exactly the same considering everything down there is a lot wetter than he was imagining it. He waits a few seconds and nothing happens. He can hear the sound of Gray fussing about with something in the stall and he can feel his body wanting to lock up, but he pushes down on all his muscles. He was about to piss his pants walking here and now his body won't go? He won't allow it.

“Please?” August begs under his breath, a small trickle erupts into the urinal, but it doesn't continue. “Come on.” August says to himself, a little louder.

“I'm almost done, sorry…” He hears Gray yell from the stall, immediately, he feels a sharp pain in his stomach, A cramp, his body is fully locked up.

“It's okay, I mean, Take your time.” August yells back, pulling himself away from the Urinal and turning around. The sight of it makes his insides feel like they are twisting. He shoves his hands back between his legs, tears coming to his eyes. It's painful. He almost just wishes he could lay in bed and fall asleep, if it meant he could pee.

To make matters worse he feels ridiculous. He can't pee because a single person is in the bathroom? That single person being a kid who isn't even paying attention to him? He wants to scream but he doesn't, seeing as a toilet flushing filled his ears, followed by Gray, emerging from the stall, adjusting his basketball shorts. He turns on the water to wash his hands and August has to bend forward again, to keep it all inside, He knows he is losing time, but he can't go here, his body has made up its mind and it would take way too long to take a shower and try to make his body go from the water. August realizes he has one choice but he doesn't like it.

“Why do you look like you still need to pee?” Gray asks, August didn't even realize the water had shut off,

“I-uh, Can you stay here, I need to go get something in the common room. Don't move. I'll come back and we can-'' August cant even finish his sentence, He is bolting out the bathroom door. He feels himself leak the second he is out of there, his anxious brain already feeling safer outside of the deemed unsafe to pee room that you're supposed to pee in. Within seconds he finds himself in front of Rowans door, frantically knocking and dancing where he stands.

“Hello, what's the problem?” Rowan says sleepy, August cant even feel bad for waking him up,

“Please!” August says through his teeth,

“August?” Roman finally opens his eyes slightly, “What's wrong? Did you forget your student card again?”

“No, I-Can I use your, ah, Im- Oh-” August cant even speak. He can only dance, with both his hands between his legs,

“Oh my god, Yes, wait!? Is there something wrong with the main bathroom? Oh god, it didn't flood again did it?” Rowan looks out past August down the hallway, blocking his way into the room.

“Rowannnn!” August groans, feeling a large, uncontrollable jet of piss slip past his iron tight grip. “Oh- I'm peeing!” August screeches, pushing past Rowan, It's not stopping, He can feel it running down his legs, He feels it on his feet, knowing its leaving a train behind him as he finally makes it into the bathroom. He doesn't see a urinal, but a toilet with the seat down. Not having time to put it up, not trusting his ability to aim when he has to go so badly, He rushes over, pulls down his pants and slams himself down on the toilet.

“Fuck.” He feels tears fall from his eyes as his body fully unlocks, warm piss pooling around his ass- “Oh no, no no no.” August looks down to reveal his blue and green plaid boxers, still on as he is viciously peeing through them.

“Uh, Everything okay in there?” August looks up to see Rowan, standing at the open door with his hand over his eyes. Still peeing, knowing the mess he made outside, leading all the way to the toilet, there is no hiding this one.

“No. uh ... I might need your help, give me a second though.” August cringes as he says it, feeling like a little kid who didn't make it to the potty on time. He slowly lets his body empty at its own pace, not watching to risk using any of his muscles down there to speed things up, in case they get the wrong signal again and lock up. When he finally finishes he stands up and awkwards pulls his sweatpants off of his feet, feeling how wet they are. “You can come in.” August says quietly, the slow creak of the door hinges follows.

“What happened?” Rowan says, walready grabbing a hand towel from the rack by the sink and throwing it onto the ground, dragging it with his feet to sop up the pale yellow trail of piss on the tiles leading up to August.

“It's a long story.” August says, not wanting to look Rowan in the eyes.

“Does it start with why there is a small child sitting on my bed?” Rowan asks, and August immediately looks at him, Eyes wide, all embarrassment temporarily forgotten.

“I-He, its- I can explain!” August says, His life flashing before his eyes. How Max is going to kill him for getting his stowaway caught.

“You can explain after you get changed, You can borrow some of my sweatpants, do you need boxers too?” August looks down, then back at Rowan,

“I'll go commando, but uh, a laundry bin for my..” August points to his lower half. Rowan nods and disappears into his bedroom before reappearing with a pair of black sweat pants and a plastic hamper.

“Take you time. I'll take care of the kid.” Rowan says, closing the door. August breaks the second he is alone. Thinking how this was far worse than being caught with wet sheets...

[dazedpuppydairies]

New daily journaling, talking about looking for a new inexpensive hobby, and sharing about agoraphobia

Trigger Warning Going Forward For

Heavy discussion of agoraphobia

Talking about ableism within academic and healthcare spaces

Discussion of homelessness

Discussion of toxic/abusive living environments

Hiya, I'm Bandit and once again welcome to The Dazed Puppy Diaries!! Recently I've been looking for a new more inexpensive hobby so I thought I'd try to take up daily journaling on here. I've been dealing with writer's block lately, but I'm thinking just journaling about my day and maybe using some journaling prompts could help. I haven't actually found a lot of journaling prompts I like though so if you have any suggestions I'm all ears. I'm still looking for another more inexpensive hobby outside of journaling/blogging, but I'm having a difficult time.

Recently I've been coming to terms with the fact that I may have mild agoraphobia. In case you're not familiar with agoraphobia it can include the fear of leaving home alone, crowds or waiting in line, enclosed spaces, such as movie theaters, elevators or small stores, open spaces, such as parking lots, bridges or malls, and using public transportation, such as a bus, plane or train. These situations may cause the person with agoraphobia anxiety because they fear they might not be able to escape or get help, they fear they may have a panic attack or anxiety attack, or they may fear having other disabling or embarrassing symptoms, such as dizziness, fainting, falling or diarrhea. From my understanding the most common type of agoraphobia is associated with the fear of having a panic attack or anxiety attack in these settings and usually coincides with panic disorder. Though people with agoraphobia often have panic disorder it's important to note you don't need to have panic disorder or panic attacks to have agoraphobia.

I've been having trouble pinpointing the exact fear that causes me to have anxiety in these settings and often alternatively avoid them. I do have a history of panic disorder, but I don't think the fear of having panic attacks in these settings is exclusively what causes the anxiety. Having a mental health related episode rendering me helpless seems to be a big part of it, just not specifically/exclusively panic attacks. Though increased anxiety and panic like symptoms in these settings as of lately is why I've been avoiding them more. I have trouble putting it into words, but if I had to describe it I'm afraid of shutting down or having a mental health episode/symptoms that leave me trapped or helpless in some of these settings. The situations and settings that particularly cause me anxiety are going out alone, stores, and public transportation. As of lately the anxiety is getting much worse which is why I've come to terms with the fact that there's something more specific then generalized anxiety going on. I use the wording come to terms with specifically because I took note of this fear/anxiety arising all the way back in mid to late 2020, but convinced myself it wasn't an issue. I convinced myself because I was able to go outside and go to the store that I had worked through it and it was no longer an issue.

I think a big part of why I was in denial regarding this for so long is partially because my mental health team at the time invalidated all of my experiences as just anxiety. My therapist at that time once argued with me that me getting really excited was just my anxiety. She kept insisting I was anxious when I wasn't anxious and that was frustrating. I tried to explain to her that my excitement was a positive emotion and that my anxiety is a fearful emotion, but she kept saying, "I think we're talking about the same thing and just using different words to describe it". I understand physically excitement and anxiety are very similar, but psychologically they're different. Even if I was just fidgeting during an appointment she would mark that I was anxious and I stim a lot when I'm trying to concentrate so she would mark me as anxious in almost every single appointment whether I was anxious or not. Also because she was marking that I was anxious in all of my appointments that meant my psychiatric NP was also only going to pay attention to my anxiety. Then my psychiatric NP would use my anxiety to invalidate the fact that I have ADHD. One time she essentially said to me yeah you have all of the symptoms of ADHD, but we're going to keep treating for anxiety instead. She also once essentially accused me of just wanting ADHD medication for recreational uses, despite me not having a history of substance misuse, addiction, chemical dependency, etc. The main reason why I was gunning so hard for the proper diagnosis is because I wanted the diagnosis that actually matched my symptoms for my disability application. Nonetheless at the time I really didn't want to go to them expressing a new flavor of anxiety because they were already invalidating all of my other experiences as anxiety. I will acknowledge when I started going to that practice I was dealing with debilitating OCD symptoms, but I improved so much and they refused to acknowledge that which also really sucked.

Anyway I neglected my fear and anxiety surrounding these situations and settings for far long enough. I have been rather avoidant of these situations and settings recently, but something I have been able to take note of is that I feel so much better in these settings when I'm with someone like my girlfriend for example. I went to the store with my girlfriend a couple weeks ago and I wasn't all that anxious, a big part of the anxiety is being alone. I had to go to the department of human services building a couple weeks ago to get a new EBT card, I was alone and the whole time I was so anxious and just wishing I wasn't alone. I also think my OCD and other issues like social anxiety really egg on my fear in these situations.

Long story short a lot of the more inexpensive hobbies I can think of involve spending time outside and that's not super accessible to me at the moment. I would go outside and take a walk for example, but the idea of doing that makes me very uncomfortable. Like my current living situation genuinely isn't good, but I'm also very avoidant of going outside which is like a double-edged sword. Reminds me of early to mid 2021 during my senior year of high school, I was going through something similar. I was in this living situation then and people made comments like, "if it was that bad you would leave despite your fear" or, "what's worse living there or leaving". I mean my school counselor would say stuff like that to me and I thought it was insensitive then, but now I realize just how insensitive it was. Like way too invalidate both my abuse and mental health struggles all in one go. I did eventually leave in October of 2021 and become homeless. I found places to stay for over a year, but I was going to be homeless again so now I'm back in this situation. Like I've expressed my anxiety is worse now so it feels almost impossible to go back to the department of human services, and do that process all over again.

I should be moving in with two of my partners and metamor in August, but I need something to occupy my time in the meantime. I think I mentioned this in my pinned post one of my main hobbies is collecting things like dolls and stuffed animals, but that's a rather expensive hobby. On top of that you know if you collect dolls the doll second-hand market especially for lines like Monster High and Bratz is ridiculous right now. The Monster High collector dolls have been having really bad sculper issues etc etc. I don't have a proper income so I reasonably don't have money to be putting into this hobby right now so I'm looking for another one. My main hobby for a while was making kandi, but I don't have the supplies to make kandi right now. I really need to find something because I'm quite literally stuck in a bad living environment almost 24/7 with nothing to do until August. In the meantime I'm going to try journaling on here.

[columboposting]

Honestly not even the last fifteen years — try since the 1990s. A lot of the language we use to talk about social issues today comes from academia, and it is language that has been in use in academia for far longer than it’s been in vernacular. “Social constructs” and the ways in which texts produce/subvert/question them have been, broadly speaking, the primary concern of literary scholarship since the ‘80s. The third wave of feminism started in the late ‘80s; Kimberlé Crenshaw coined “intersectionality” in 1989, and very soon after it gets picked up by a lot of literary critics. Edward Said’s Orientalism, which is pretty much the starting point of postcolonial theory, came out in 1978. By the year 2000 Queer Theory and Gender Studies are flourishing. Fuck, I was so busy talking about those guys I almost forgot to mention that Marxist lit theory has been alive and well since the fucking ‘70s!!!! If you go back and read a piece of literary theory from 1998 you will probably be surprised by how much it sounds like it could have been written yesterday. But that’s because many of the ways we now describe gender and race and sexuality were invented by academics — queer and female academics, academics of color, other marginalized academics — thirty-forty years ago. 

Obviously, criticism from the early/mid-20th century is, to generalize a little, going to suck for all the reasons you think it will; back then, most critics had this idea that a text had one objective correct meaning, and the critics deciding on that meaning were overwhelmingly wealthy straight white men (that said, we even owe some things to those nerds — mainly close reading, looking at a paragraph or a sentence of a work and examining its form and content and using it to draw conclusions about the work at large, AKA what’s happening in 90% of tumblr media analysis). But since the 70s literary criticism has been primarily post-structuralist, and since the 90s that post-structuralism has primarily turned its attention to examining how a text understands structures of class, race, gender, sexuality, culture and society at large in very nuanced, intelligent ways. There are a lot of fantastic scholars doing a lot of fantastic work!!! Post-Colonialism, Gender Theory, Queer Theory, Feminist Theory, Critical Race Theory, and New Historicism are all doing quite well at the moment — within the past fifteen years or so you can start throwing Ecocriticism into the hat, if you want to see people talking about how literature treats the natural world. By dismissing “scholars,” you’re ignoring the fact that there are a lot of really cool literary critics you could be learning from RIGHT NOW!!

And this is a little beside the point but I do really want to note that also: you’re neglecting the fact that YOU are doing scholarship, even if you’re not “scholars”!! Like, I hate the people who invented close reading, but holy shit close reading is the foundation of like every piece of tumblr media analysis ever!! Furthermore: Frankly, if you’re talking about the latent meaning hidden within the text you are probably also doing a little bit of psychoanalysis because that’s where we get that idea about reading literature (sorry, fellow Freud haters). If you’re talking about the emotional reaction the text provokes, if you’re interested in how the serialized nature of dracula daily changes the experience vs reading it as it was published — congratulations, that’s Phenomenology, the study of how people experience a text!!!!!! Plus there are (as previously mentioned) all the ways that we get our vocab on gender and race and class and social constructs from theory. Your blorbo analysis post is a form of literary criticism that is deeply, deeply indebted to both modern post-structuralist theory and earlier 20th century ideas of close reading and psychoanalysis, even if you don’t know it. In that respect, and in the fact that modern criticism is going to be working under many of the exact same methodological and ideological influences as you, I promise literary scholarship is worth your time. 

since I'm paying more attention to drac daily stuff this year I'm seeing a lot of posts saying "scholars always get the book wrong" and guys, ya gotta read better scholarship. poke around on jstor and google scholar for publications from the last ~15 years. see if you can find queer / feminist / postcolonial centered journals with online public archives. find a writer you agree with and see who else they cite. I prommy that academics are not your enemy and a lot of them are in their line of work precisely because they're just as not normal about their blorbos as you are. hashtag don't turn this into another "historians will say they're just friends."

[inked-out-trees]

Ok!

12 for Trevor

13

And I think 18

ok!!!! :)

sorry i rambled a lot so i'm readmoreing this LMAO

12. Character + Dialogue (Trevor)

“I’m putting up a sign. If your name is Annie Twilloil or Francis Beaumont, fuck off. Rabid cat inside. Or whatever.” Trevor waves a sleepy hand in the air. “Something something I’ll bite you.” (Chapter 2)

13. Talk about your growth from your first fic to now.

oh boy. it's been almost eight years. or maybe it has been eight years. you're sending me back to wattpad, buddy, i don't know if i can forgive that (fully joking).

i started writing my first real fic (for academic purposes we are talking about the first thing i posted, not all my elementary school flights of fancy) in junior high, mostly in spurts on the bus or back and forth on a shitty little usb drive that also carried my schoolwork. i'm pretty sure the main document was password protected and in a folder labeled something totally innocuous because i was thirteen and painfully embarrassed about writing supernatural fanfiction as though anyone else would ever use my memory stick, like, ever. flash forward to today where the writing folder on my laptop is 90% fic and i Do Not Care Anymore! but still with weird titles because that's just how these things go.

(but also shoutout to my first fic, which according to wattpad is still #939 in supernatural fic after alll these years. it's got a little medal next to it and everything. fuck yeah!)

when i read it i see a lot of things that mark a young writer - mostly characterisation issues, things that could be portrayed better, I hadn't gotten the hang of internal monologues yet so it's quite painfully objective (in comparison to my current taste and style). but, like, honestly? not bad. not bad at all. full respect to thirteen-year-old me for sticking through and writing, like, a full 50 thousand word thing without even realising it.

("alright, i did the math and, with various author's notes included because i wasn't going to put any more effort into this than what wattpad gave me, our wordcount for this fic was... 52,385. my third longest fic to date" -from a conversation with a friend a couple months ago, timestamp almost 2am. moral of the story: wattpad give us word counts please)

ANYWAY. aside from the, you know, wattpad stuff, what propelled me forward on that particular fic was both the existence of a full story in my head (and then some. rest in peace to the abandoned sequel) and some pretty cool folks to share it with. not stopping - and, indeed, writing more spn stuff before finally metamorphasis-ing into a theatre kid - was prompted through friends. so. friends are the reason for everything. another reason for everything was my move from wattpad to ao3, which happened somewhere in my move from junior high to high school (very symbolic i know) and subsequently allowed for such things as: greater audience! a comment section! sophistication! all the cool kids use ao3!

and, like, even ao3 era onwards. from 2016's newsies works to now there's like. improvement in plotting and planning! character voice and internal monologue! fun with structure! music! all these funky fresh things that i'm always so excited to work with. i don't even really have words to describe it anymore i just think it's fun as hell. it's just like. i will keep writing and i will keep getting better and these things are perpetual. and in several years with even more work under my belt i will be able to look back at what i've been doing the past couple years and do the exact same thing.

but all my love remains to the password-protected word docs that hold those supernatural fics from an earlier time. some of them saw the light of day and some of them straight up did not. all of them are still in my heart.

18. Share a line from a fic you'll never finish.

("cornley time travel au: is significantly better written, stronger interpersonal relationships, i actually know what i'm doing / supernatural OC apocalypse fic: written when my hubris knew no limits, has demons in the story. oh and em-dashes. i only started using em-dashes in like 2017" -same conversation as above)

remember how i wrote a sequel (threequel) to the lookout mmnis? i was also fully prepared to write a sequel to flat pack attack. rest in peace to flat pack attack: homeworld which will probably never see the light of day. the idea was good and a kid can dream

SAMPSON: You ever heard of… (reading from a page) a tailsman?

DELTA: Is it a talisman you mean?

Sampson squints at the page.

SAMPSON: No, this says tails. Like a monkey.

He sticks a hand near the base of his chair and does a tail approximation.

oh and secondary shoutout to another abandoned newsies au that drew on my experiences with high school theatre tech, aptly named welcome to hell - its namesake was something like:

He catches a glimpse of the whiteboard once again before he leaves. Someone, probably Jack again, has wiped out most of the letters in HOTEL CALIFORNIA - now it just reads WELCOME TO H EL L.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

I hope this doesn't sound confusing, but is there a way to strike a balance between using "simple" words and "complex" words? Like, trying to write something that isn't too simple or too verbose.

I think context is the keyword here.

What I do is I just write using my current vocabulary, so that I'm able to convey what I mean as accurately as possible. And if I want to sort of elevate my writing, that's when I might swap out some simpler words with more "complex"/poetic words, or maybe even phrases. But I make sure I'm using the appropriate vocabulary. How do we do this? I'm just going to copy and paste here an excerpt from this writing resource to answer this question:

It’s important to use words and expressions that fit the context so your meaning is clear. For example, different audiences for your writing will require different levels of formality: the vocabulary you use in an academic essay may not be effective for a blogpost targeting a popular audience. Consider the following questions to help you choose the most appropriate words for your audience and purpose. a. What’s the exact meaning of the word? Words may be broadly similar in meaning but differ in important aspects of that meaning. Consider the difference between ‘the fragrance of flowers’  and ‘the odour of rotten eggs.’ Both words refer to the sense of smell, but fragrance has a positive core meaning while odour has a negative one. If you don’t know what a word exactly means, check it in a dictionary. Also look up sample sentences that use your "complex"/fancy word, and see how it is actually used. But, once you truly know what a word means, wordplay can be your friend. b. Is the word attached to a feeling? Compare the two sentences: ‘The freeway snakes through the town’ and ‘The freeway meanders through the town’. In this example, snake indicates negative feelings about the freeway while meander doesn’t. c. What level of intensity does the word show? Many words with similar meanings describe different degrees of the same quality or action. For example, ‘comical’, ‘hilarious’ and ‘side-splitting’  show different degrees of funniness. Think about the intensity of what you want to convey when choosing words. d. Is the word formal or informal? Go for formal words and expressions in business communication and academic writing. In the following examples, the second expression in each pair is more formal than the first: (1) come up with / create (2) one after another / at regular intervals (3) huge / considerable (4) enough / sufficient e. Is the word polite? Words which describe negative qualities or sensitive issues too directly can be offensive. Good communicators consider the feelings of their audience. For example, when writing about childhood obesity, it’s more appropriate to use ‘children with weight problems’ or ‘children of an unhealthy weight’ than ‘fat children’. f. Is the word specific or general? Use words with specific meanings whenever possible to make your message clearer to your audience. For example, avoid overusing general verbs such as ‘be’, ‘do’, ‘have’ and ‘get’, especially in academic writing, as they don’t accurately convey specific ideas. It’s better to use a more specific verb or verb phrase to strengthen your message. Compare the impact of the verbs in these sentences: ‘To be successful, learners need to have high-level literacy skills.’ ‘To be successful, learners need to develop and demonstrate high-level literacy skills.’ g. What other words does the word often go with? Some words are frequently used together and therefore sound more natural in combination. This is called collocation. For example, we say ‘fast train’ not ‘quick train’, but ‘quick shower’ not ‘fast shower’. Similarly, it’s more natural to say ‘highly critical’ rather than ‘deeply critical.’ Additionally, be aware of idioms. Idioms are commonly used word combinations or expressions. These have very specific meanings that are not obvious from the words they contain, e.g. ‘a piece of cake’, ‘get the hang of it’, ‘an Indian summer’, and ‘after a fashion’. Many dictionaries list and define idioms if you look up the component words. For example, try looking up ‘Indian’ or ‘summer’ to find ‘Indian summer’.

But if you have a wide vocabulary that people have difficulty understanding you, maybe you can do the opposite of this and swap out the too complex words with simpler ones, haha!

Lastly, when you read through your work whilst editing, ask yourself: Does this sound natural? Does it sound like your literary voice? Do you recognise yourself in this written work? Or do the simple/complex words you've inserted sound too unfamiliar?

Hope this helps, dear Anon. But if anyone has a better answer for this, do let us know.

[language-gender]

Medical Definitions of Gender and Sex

The World Health Organization (WHO) and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) are both well known health organizations that provides health information and guidelines for treatment across the U.S. and the world. Both provide definitions for gender and sex on their websites that can be found through a quick Google search.

On the WHO website, they define gender as being “the characteristics of women, men, girls and boys that are socially constructed. This includes norms, behaviors and roles associated with being a woman, man, girl or boy, as well as relationships with each other. As a social construct, gender varies from society to society and can change over time.” The website then describes sex as “biological and physiological characteristics  of females, males, and intersex persons, such as chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive organs.” (Gender and Health) The website then goes on to clarify that “gender identity refers to a person’s deeply felt, internal and individual experience of gender, which may or may not correspond to the person’s physiology or designated sex at birth.” (Gender and Health)

The CDC’s website describes gender as being “the cultural roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes expected of people based on their sex.” They also include definitions for gender expression and gender identity, “how an individual chooses to present their gender to others through physical appearance and behaviors, such as style of their hair or dress, voice, or movement,” and “an individual’s sense of their self as man, woman, transgender, or something else,” respectively (Terminology). The CDC defines sex as “an individual’s biological status as male, female, or something else. Sex is assigned at birth and associated with physical attributes, such as anatomy and chromosomes.”

Both the WHO and the CDC have clearly defined what "sex" and "gender" mean within the context of the medical field. Though each website does not use the exact same language to define both words, the overall convey the same meaning. The inclusion of definitions for "gender identity" and "gender expression" also highlights how gender is fluid and change change. While these definitions are clearly outlined, this does not mean that these words are utilized as they are defined. This is not the case in other professional fields. Within academic writing, sex, gender, and gender identity are often used interchangeably (Bamberger 252). This interchangeable use of gender, sex, and gender identity further perpetuates the issues and confusion around what each word means. Defining these words and how they should be used needs to occur not just in the medical field.

Overall, while the definitions and information that the websites were conveying information that could be complex, they both broke down the information and interconnections into verbiage that is easy to understand. By examining the definitions presented by the WHO and the CDC, it is evident that these governing bodies have a clear stance on what gender and sex are. They also make clear that the fluidity of gender is normal. This is important because in order to make change within the medical field, gender and sex need to be clearly defined, especially by organizations that influence practice within the medical field. These definitions highlight the recognition and need for gender inclusive care within the medical field. Though sex and gender have been thoroughly distinguished by the WHO and CDC, members of the LGBTQ+ community still face discrimination at the hands of providers within the medical field.

Sources:

"Gender and Health." The World Health Organization, www.who.int/health-topics/gender#tab=tab_1. Accessed 24 April 2023.

"Terminology." The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/terminology/sexual-and-gender-identity-terms.htm#:~:text=Gender%3A%20The%20cultural%20roles%2C%20behaviors,dress%2C%20voice%2C%20or%20movement.

Bamberger, Ethan, and Farrow, Aiden. "Language for Sex and Gender Inclusiveness in Writing." Journal of Human Lactation, vol. 37, no.2, 2021, pp. 251-259.

[percabeth4life]

Why is it a problem that Rick's portrayal was so inaccurate? (I know why but I'd love to see your view on this)

Rick's portrayal of the myths is a problem for various reasons, not all of these people really care about.

In terms of irl: a lot of people take what Rick says and quotes it as facts. Like genuine discussions on the myths have Rick cited as the source for stuff they say (not academically but publicly). It's something baffling and spreads innacuracies

In addition, the portrayal of the Gods as cruel, selfish, and petty (almost exclusively) causes various pagans to get hate. Some of my followers may remember the times I've gotten asks telling me the Gods are actually cruel and Rick was right, it's upsetting. Now, this is a common thing, not exclusive to his books, but his have the habit of portraying the myths as if those are facts even while mixing in fantasy, so it's hard for people to know what's the fantasy and what's properly sourced.

And on that note, the issue in book canon with inaccurate myths is... We don't know what's canon or not.

Rick changes myths, he makes some myths up, he uses characters from the myths and makes them good or evil as he feels like.

Calypso's myths are at least somewhat true, but the myths show that she r*ped Odysseus (describes him unwilling and crying). Is that the truth? She only released him in the myths because the Gods interfered, the Gods interfered with Percy too, did that save him from that fate or is she kind now? Or was she never cruel? We don't know!

He pulls only parts of the myths and ignores the rest, and when you're basing major parts of your stories on the myths that creates questions and holes because we don't know what's fact and what's not as far as the books are concerned.

Medusa who was born a monster came first, and yet the Medusa they met was the one made a monster, are they one and the same? Or different?

There are specific Roman Centaurs so I'd imagine theres and Roman and Greek Medusa, but he treats the Roman one as Greek.

The myth of Arachne is Roman, it's written by Ovid, does that mean that all children of Athena are also children of Minerva for the grudge on them? Or are Minerva and Athena viewed as the exact same to everyone despite how much the books insist on them being different?

Its just... If you know the myths his actions mean... We don't know what the myths are in the books. He changes too much, he gets facts outright wrong, he makes stuff up. Its not just filling in holes with interpretations like me and Izzy do, he outright makes up Apollo bullying Harpocrates, that's not a thing! He did it solely to make Apollo look worse.

And he doesn't know how the myths were read back then either. He acts as if Apollo punishing people for breaking oaths was bad of Apollo, and not them breaking an oath to a divine being after getting their end of the deal. That's a big no no guys.

So yeah, not using the myths accurately or not just sticking to making stuff up (one or the other) causes a lot of confusion for what is their history in PJO, he pulls from the myths but doesn't use them properly.

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

[sebastiankeepsbustingmyballs]

This is another redo.

I’m 21, go by she/her, and I’m straight.

I’m around 5’5 at least, and I’m a brunette (fairly long, fine, wavy hair) with what I’d describe as (though in my case, they’re kind of sunflower eyes) basically green eyes with a brown ring. I have fairly pale skin and bluish glasses. I kind of have hooded eyelids, though I don’t take much note of that, if any. I also have a bit of a baby face according to my family (I was mistaken for a 17 yo at age 19). In regards to my body type, I don’t know my exact body type, but to give you an idea, I’m not skinny but not exactly chubby either. I’m not exactly sure how feminine my body is, but that’s ok. I have a few birthmarks scattered here and there on my body and a few moles, but only like 2 of them or so are particularly visible (the one on the right side of my forehead isn’t too big, but it sticks out). I’m half-Mexican (mom’s side) and half-Chilean (dad’s side), but have some Sephardic ancestry on my mom’s side, so maybe that’s where it comes from lol.

I’m an ISTJ, a Scorpio (year of the dragon), and a Ravenclaw.

I’m generally very patient and easygoing, which makes me very easy to please (the downside of that is that it can make me fairly indecisive sometimes). Like, I’m that person who will order mashed potatoes at a restaurant but will still eat the food if I get fries instead. I’m introverted but I can kind of handle a large group, though I do prefer to be alone or with a small group most times (and yes, family and friends are part of that small group). I’m generally quite soft-spoken, so I don’t yell much. I’m very much a homebody, so I prefer to be close to home. I don’t typically indulge in fashion and makeup-related affairs, but I’m at peace with that. Reading (more often than not digitally), however, is among those things I do enjoy. As for what genre, most are generally fair game, Shakespeare, and Jane Austen being a few examples. I also like swimming when the weather permits it. I’m also a huge opera and musical theater nerd, but I like any genre of music. Of course, I have sensitive ears due to me being on the autism spectrum, so I usually like to have things like noise-canceling headphones on hand. Also, I’m rarely in a bad mood according to my family. Also, I rarely ask for anything. Of course, I should also mention that I am staunchly pro-choice but I’m still in favor of the idea of having a family of my own at some point. I generally like to assume the best of people according to my family, which may cause some issues. Also, I can be a bit of a mom friend.

Some things I’m good at include singing, playing musical instruments (piano and flute, but I’m open to learning others), sewing (my mother jokes that I sew like a Victorian lady-in-waiting), possibly writing (my professors have said I write good essays), academics, and taking care of animals (I’ve volunteered at the same vet clinic for a number of years and I’ve learned a lot) I’m also multilingual (I speak English, Spanish (due to growing up in a Spanish-speaking household), and French (due to me taking lessons in high school)). I’ve also been said to be good at puzzles by my family. If needed, I’m fairly good at comforting people (according to family members). As for dancing, I’m decently good, but a bit rusty since I haven’t danced in a long time (I usually like ballroom or Latin dance styles). I’m also decently good at doing voice impressions (accents included). According to my parents, I actually have quite a good memory, which may be both a blessing and a curse in a relationship. I’m also good at giving massages, according to my family.

Of course, I do feel that I have to give you warning of a few drawbacks: For one thing, with me being on the spectrum, I struggle to directly address what I need (still working on that). It takes me a few tries to say what I want to say sometimes. Furthermore, I have some issues with social skills, so I need a gentle nudge in the right direction once in a while. According to my mother, I have something of a lack of a social filter (she knows me better than virtually anyone). On top of that, I process things slower than most, so that may cause some issues. Also, the hearing thing means I don’t take the best to yelling.

Now, in regards to my sense of style, I don’t wear dresses much, if at all, so I have mostly shirts and shorts/pants, sweatpants and nice pants included. This also extends to me wearing my brother’s shirts if they fit me well enough (I’m a size medium). I reserve dresses mostly for special occasions, like recitals. Occasionally, though, they may see some use if I travel abroad. For example, if I travel to Cancun or Monterrey, one of the two Puebla dresses I have may see some use. This is dependent on timing as the Puebla dresses I have are short-sleeved and thus best for summer.

As for what I seek in a man, when it comes to looks, I’m not really picky. I don’t mind if he’s shorter than me or if he has some unusual features of any kind. For me, the first thing I notice about a guy is his voice. Like, if I like his voice, that attracts me to him further. Tying into that is accents. If he has a unique accent, that is a bonus for me, whether it’s Cockney, southern, or something else. If he can sing, that’s even better. Of course, even if he can’t, I’ll still love him anyway. As for his personality, I usually like gentle, patient, caring guys. Bonus points if he’s good with kids on some level. Also, it would be nice if my future s/o had a sharp mind. Like, they could discuss things like philosophy and psychology (I’m open about being on the spectrum) with me. In regards to cooking, I don’t mind doing it if needed, but it would be nice if my partner could too. Of course, while all this is good, at the end of the day, I mainly want my would-be s/o to be caring, patient, and faithful. I’m not a jealous woman, so I’m not going to pry too much into his business. I may ask questions out of curiosity but that’s it because I want to go into this trusting my future s/o. As for what kind of a relationship I’m looking for, ideally, something solid and long-term. Also, I would want my would-be s/o to feel loved, so I’d dote on him as best I could if he liked.

I hope I’m not asking too much, but sweet J e s u s, I’ve said a lot! I am so sorry. You’re doing amazing You’re doing amazing by the way; have a nice day/evening/night/whatever it is in your time zone!

No worries. Thank you for the request and the kinds words and I hope you’re doing well too.

Notes: I’m doing two characters depending on if you’re reading the manga or not and I apologize that I did not add everything.

Snake!

Snake cherishes friends and those who he views as family so having someone who is similar in that sense will make him very grateful. He’d love that you’re a mom friend too as it would really make him feel loved and appreciated. As for your beliefs, I feel like Snake would have the same or at least similar views so you won’t have to worry about any disagreements. He’s new to a lot of things so having someone patient in his life would help a lot. He’d be very understanding of you being on the spectrum and if he ever doesn’t quite get something then he’s completely open to you explaining things. Your intelligence and love for animals will get him falling in love with you all over again too.

Now, Snake also struggles with social skills which will be difficult for you both but I see the possibility of the two of you slowly but surely working each other out of your shells though you may feel as though you both aren’t going anywhere which is where both your and Snake’s patience will be tested. I don’t think he’s too fond of loud noises either so if you two ever find yourselves in a situation that is too overwhelming then either Snake will give you as much comfort as possible wether it be getting you and him earmuffs and holding your hand (if you’re okay with it) or finding you both a quieter place to relax depending on the situation. He wouldn’t mind your sense of style at all (despite what other people in the Victorian era would think) and would find your overall appearance charming. This man will love how talented you are but he will also have moments due to how much he’d care for you where he may get insecure so reassurance is key with him. Snake speaks for his snakes so you’ll get rather used to multiple voices and accents when it comes to being around him but he’d definitely be more open about just talking to you himself. He’s so incredibly gentle as a s/o and would treat you with the upmost respect.

Blavat Sky!

Where do I even start? Blavat has would take great interest in you as a whole. Your intelligence to your musical talents, to your powerful beliefs and love for discussing psychology and philosophy. Blavat loves it all and though he may be a bit odd and out there, he’s certain to be a very understanding and caring individual. Although he may tease you for being the mom friend, he doesn’t mean any harm and he’s honestly such a sweet and hardworking guy too (which counts in relationships.) You being on the spectrum won’t trouble him and he might even ask questions only out of curiosity and interest. You being good with kids would be amusing to Blavat and I can see him loving you all the more because of that.

You needing someone to help nudge you into being social bit by bit would be Blavat’s honor and although he may not seem like it sometimes, he’s very observant and understanding so he’ll notice if you get a bit too uncomfortable. Your indecisiveness will annoy him just a tad which could result in a few arguments but he would always want to try and understand so talking about it will help but brings me onto another thing, the difficulties you have with communication can be troubling for both of you though Blavat wouldn’t blame you as it’s more of him struggling with how to help you with this but again, he is very observant and also good at reading people so he’ll also be able to figure out anything that might be difficult to bring up. Although he hasn’t been animated yet (he needs to be), I headcannon Blavat with a really soothing and nice voice and I feel like he’d enjoy reading with you so the thought of him with that beautiful voice reading Pride and Prejudice would be a literal dream. He is into spirituality so he’d definitely be into reading your fortune but only if you’re comfortable with it. I honestly think he’d find your style and overall look adorable and would genuinely respect you for how knowledgeable you are with writing, knowing so many languages and singing (he’d definitely ask for you to sing for him too.) All in all, Blavat would be a very calming, intelligent and supportive partner but let’s not forget teasing as well.

Other matches are Wolfram Gelzer and Sebastian Michaelis.