#abusive men prey on vulnerable women

[autolenaphilia]

This post has been in the back of my mind ever since i saw it last year because it is a mask off moment for a usually more subtle transmisogynist. : I blacked out the account names being accused in the screenshot above, because i don't want to be spreading fake transmisogynistic callouts around even to be criticquing them.

Like "trans women are sexual predators who use their identity as queer women as cover to prey on children and other vulnerable people, and liberals are too afraid of being called transmisogynistic to stop them" is like the basic transmisogynist narrative. It's literally the terf narrative about trans women. This is the real terf rhetoric, not trans women criticizing (trans)misogyny.

Yet it is still so common among ostensibly transfem-accepting liberals/leftists. Like trans women using their identity as a shield against legitimate criticism of their predatory behavior is such a common trope in queer spaces that claim to be against terfs. This is because TME people use hating on terfs as a substitute for dealing with their own transmisogyny.

This is extremely common among people in the callout culture transmisogyny fandom like the screenshotted blogger.They go for this line about "transfems using their identity as a shield against genuine criticism" all the time when their obvious if lightly veiled transmisogyny is pointed out. This is their main argument, their own shield against criticism. And it rings very hollow when these people call out transfem after transfem as sexual predators based on them liking harmless kinks like fauxcest and CNC, literally using old radfem arguments against kink.

What this sort of thing is, is the denial that transmisogyny even exists. A claim that instead of being an especially oppressed class of women, we are actually a privileged group. And terfs here are open about saying it's because we are men and have male privilege. The more subtle kind of transmisogynist, the "trans women are women, terfs dni" crowd, leaves the trans women have male privilege bit unsaid but implied.

And of course it's false. As people are surely aware, being transfem makes you more likely to publicly accused of being a sexual menace. And they are most likely false accusations. Accusations against the privileged and powerful, like cis men, are seldom false. The social power that these men wield make it dangerous for any victim to come forward.

Accusations towards members of marginalized groups like transfems, however, are easy and safe to make, because they don't have that kind of social power or privilege. Their position in any social setting is tenuous, and it's easy to turn the group against them to exile them. Transfems don't have the power to defend themselves even against the flimsiest of accusations, while privileged men can defend themselves even against the most well-documented ones. Transfems are instead more likely to be victims of abuse, and then DARVOed by their abusers, being accused of abuse when they were actually abused.

The fact is that transfems can "scream transmisogyny" but few TME people, including other lgbt people, are not likely to listen.

And this is not a "white girl" problem despite what the screenshotted post implies. This problem is far worse for black transfems suffering from transmisogynynoir, and other non-white transfems. Read writings written by black transfems like Position of Guilt: Black Hot Allostatic Load by Anonsee Storyweaver.

[theabigailthorn]

Hey I made a post a few days ago and someone referred me to you so I’m here to ask for advice and guidance because I’ve been in acting for years and it’s my life passion (stage acting specifically) but I’ve realized this year that I am a trans woman and I don’t know what to do about it because I feel like there are next to no opportunities for me in the community if I transition, especially when it comes to musicals and really anything during early transition. I’ve just started college and feel like now is the time to start pushing for hormones and whatnot if I’m going to transition but I don’t know if I should because I feel like there won’t be a place for me in the career I want anymore. I’m at a point where I could change career paths but I don’t really have anything else I want to do I’ve always just loved acting. So anyways I don’t know what to do and I’m kind of asking anyone for help who might listen or have valuable insights if you read this thank you for your time<3

Mm, this is a tricky one. Are you in Britain? If so then I agree that opportunities are thin on the ground, even more so than for cis people in the industry. I also don't think that's likely to improve quickly. Apart from a dearth of jobs, it helps to be realistic about the risks. I've had people in Britain tell me they straight up won't work with trans people, which is illegal but there's nothing you can do about it. I've had chats with other trans actors who feel there's a hard ceiling in Britain on what you're allowed to achieve, and it's a lot lower for us than it is for cis actors.

The British acting industry also has a chaser problem. One of the consequences of the widespread dehumanisation of trans people in this country is sexual abusers find we make good targets - we're already systemically vulnerable and many people don't care what happens to us. I've seen talented trans actors drop out or contemplate dropping out because they were sexually assaulted by a writer or director. A lot of cishet people still find it unspeakable that straight men prey on trans girls. As a purely hypothetical example, let's say there was a man with a history of being very creepy to women, especially young actresses, who went around sleeping with trans women in exchange for empty promises of work, and who also assaulted trans women at auditions for his big project, who everyone in the British entertainment trans community knows is a creep, who then went on to win a major award - wouldn't THAT just make you want to scromit?! 🙃 Purely hypothetical of course. This elite consensus that trans people are 'violable' also extends to less horrific but still awful things like cis people stealing our work, which isn't hypothetical and did in fact happen directly to me.

If you're in the USA then I think there's cause for optimism, depending a bit on what happens in November.

On the other hand, something they told me at drama school is "In order to have a career you must be two things: 1) Unique, and 2) Good to work with." So perhaps your transness will be your unique selling point! There's really no way to know until you try. And it wouldn't restrict you from making your own work either: look at people like Piss Carnation, who are doing well in fringe theatre! I remember having the same feelings about my own transition: I thought it would be the end of my career. So far the opposite has proven true, which is lovely! There's a lot of luck and privilege involved in that outcome though.

For me, acting is a calling - it's the closest thing I have to spirituality - I couldn't not do it.

[chyaptagolap]

ive seen tags like “rapekink” and “rapedoll” here (while searching for a tag related to “rape protest” for my last post) perhaps there is worse. i feel sick. i want to puke my guts out. because what the fuck? there are people out here not even normalising but straight up romanticising rape???? and that isn't even the worst of it, these are minor girls who are making these types of violent inhumane crimes into something to be desired. god knows how many depraved men are out there preying on these half developed girls and their vulnerability. ive seen teenage girls reading coleen hoover books where the author herself writes about domestic violence and abusive relationships, targeted demographic being teen girls who's brains are likely half developed and market it to them as romance, normalising it all. god knows how many coleen hoovers are out there feasting on their young brains and filling it with sick and twisted ideas of love and romance. it sickens me it all sickens me. the idea of violence towards women being romantic is something as bad as gore, porn should be banned and so should the online reading platforms like wattpad which encourage violence against women, stop romanticising it. it's not romantic. it is criminal. ban these pornbots, ban these porn accounts, please for the love of god humanity is dying.

[drdemonprince]

so first off, sorry bc this is super fucking heavy.

re: commonalities between cis and trans men, and that other ask. something I've had to come to terms with is how even as a teenager before I had the concept of transitioning in my head - I still got all of the societal messaging wrt misogyny, etc. I totally benefited from it, even as a woman. I put other girls down. I was the cool chick. I cashed in where I could with it. i was absolutely a chauvinist when I transitioned. I felt inhuman as a woman, but I understood that ultimately that's the way women were *supposed* to be, as much as I wished otherwise. it took a long time to unlearn that.

my personal experience makes me very uncomfortable when I see other trans men talking about gendered socialization, or how overly negative people are towards men as a class. I wonder if they have ever sat down and really reconciled with the way they have, and do, benefit from their gendered position, or if they've convinced themselves they can't be a "bad person" by virtue of their birth sex.

I can't find a nuanced way to talk about this that won't be read in bad faith as essentialist rhetoric. rape culture is the system by which consent violation is normalized, its all the music and books and movies and bad relationships I assumed were normal and romantic as a young adult. I really, really hurt people, and I did it as men are encouraged to do, and as they are rewarded for doing. I found affirmation in hurting people, and it is so fucking easy to do this without even really thinking of it because it's the entire culture you've come up in.

I'm not even talking like, obvious cases here like phyrical domestic abuse & intentional date rape. there are so many subtle boundary erosions, there's weird gray areas around drugs & alcohol, there's attitudes and expectations in established relationships, there's the potential to exploit community for personal gain. there are partners who will fear you, and freeze and fawn and will not tell you "no."

a lot of the "we need a special word for masculine transphobia" types seem to also disavow the possibility that they hold male privelege. but we need to look at that shit, sexual or otherwise. it's scary to see guys who see women talking about it and they knee-jerk shout back "I'm not a rapist" and "not all men." guarantee some of them are, and just aren't aware of it. i was.

Thank you so much anon for this really brave, candid message. I think it's something that a lot of the trans guys crowing in my inbox about how cis men "are the bad gender" need to hear. (yes, someone literally said that to me). Portraying gendered categories, especially ones based on birth assignment!, as ontologically more evil or pure than others sets people up for abuse. Separating cis men out from trans men erases the ways in which trans guys can both leverage power and the ways in which toxic masculine norms are transmitted culturally to everyone regardless of assigned sex at birth. Lots of trans guys are palpably uncomfortable with their power, and can only see that relative to cis men, they experience transphobia and misogyny in greater amounts, and so they presume they must be in a highly victimized category. But they dont ever consider that as men they can and do often wield power over women -- especially trans women -- and they've got to fucking learn how to handle that reality responsibly, which many cis men actually do know how to fucking do. Especially multiply marginalized cis men who have been preyed upon and exploited themselves.

I think it's really powerful to hear you taking ownership of the actions you've taken that have hurt others, and the allure such actions had. Very few people have the courage to look their lower moments in the face and affirm that it's actually a part of them. If we're ever going to stop abusing and talking over women we've got to own up to our shit. I've seen what can happen when men come together to be vulnerable about their struggles, own their wrongdoing, and seek to change -- back when I was working in a men's drug treatment program. We can overcome this shit and take responsibility. But a lot of the birthday boy trans guy squad is incensed by even the idea of owing anything to anyone. Like a lot of MRAs.

[0nyancat0]

I genuinely think dd/lg and cnc are such disgusting “kinks”

People use the excuse of it being a “coping mechanism” but how is acting like a child who is getting rapped healing in any way

Not only that, but the disgusting men who are into these kinks are obviously preying on vulnerable women who have been abused and use them as an outlet to their perverted and disgusting fantasies that would get them sent to jail

I think any woman who says she enjoys this kink is just confused and is so deep in the cycle of abuse that she can’t see what’s wrong with it

I understand there’s a difference between age play and age regression

Childish things or any form of child imagery or role play should not be involved in anything sexual and only continues a cycle of abuse against women and girls

What do you think?

[richarlotte]

Hypergamy Opinion?

Hypergamy, dating, and femininity content attract a lot of broken people who have very broken ways of thinking about things. I have interacted with so many women who have experienced trauma, be it from past abandonment, abusive relationships, familial conflict, chronic low self-esteem, etc. None of these women understand that they fail to succeed due to the fact that they’ve carried their past into the present.

If you are a woman with deep inner wounds, if you’ve never put yourself through a healing process, and if you don’t know where to begin, then the last thing you need to do is interact with hypergamy content. If you are vulnerable or extremely sensitive, then you need to work on building your confidence, thickening your skin, and working on your self image so that you’re not taken advantage of or played by someone dangerous.

You also should never begin leveling up out of desperation; men are like sharks, they’re attracted to struggling prey and will make a beeline for it. The most important aspect of leveling up is making sure you have a stable foundation before you start building. If you don’t have a stable foundation and anything goes awry, you’ll have to rip it down and start from scratch.

[jellybeanium124]

Do you legitimately think men don't harass women in bathrooms? Like genuinely? Cause I can tell you right now, my middle and high school had shared bathrooms and the boys absolutely fucking harassed the girls all the fucking time.

To make fun of them when they heard period product wrappers and to make sex jokes.

I'd love to live in your world where people avoid eye contact in bathrooms 100% of the time, but alas, some of us live in the real world.

You not having a shitty experience with a predator or an abuser doesn't mean others have never experiences such.

I'm sorry that happened to you and I am aware this thing happens sometimes.

on an unrelated note, trans women are women. they aren't men. and they are much, much more likely (MUCH MORE!!!!!!!) to be assaulted than do the assaulting.

on a third unrelated note, you can go into whatever bathroom you want because there are no bathroom police. I (cis woman) have gone into multi-stalled men's bathrooms multiple times and nothing happened. I did not cross dress in order to do it. I didn't have to! because there are no bathroom police. I especially did not have to go thru the mega-hassle of getting T or doing any other sort of medical transition. I walked in there, boobs boobing, hair long, no make-up, and did my business and left. crazy how you can just like, walk thru doorways, huh. that's always the thing that gets me about your arguments. you can go into whatever bathroom you want, and so can everyone else, and the only thing stopping you are societal rules we impose on ourselves. there is no potty police. no bathroom brigade. no privy vigilantes. no can commanders. no facility fighters.

on a fourth unrelated note (brought to you by innuendo studios), you are falling for the conservative framework where bad things either happen, or they don't. school shootings happen or they don't. people either die from preventable illnesses or they don't. sexual assaults either happen or they don't. therefore there's no point to doing anything about it because you can't regulate evil. or, really, you can't regulate all evil. there is no world where every single assault, shooting, death from preventable illness, or whatever doesn't happen. you are leaving absolutely no room for scale. if one woman gets assaulted in the bathroom, then assaults happen and we all need to fear the penis!!!! when that's just not the world we live in. penises are not evil contraptions of the devil constantly trying to penetrate you. most people, regardless of gender, do not give a shit about you. most people mind their own damn business. nobody is out to get you. men are not constantly thinking about preying on you. they're probably thinking about football. or work. or music. or their kids. or shopping they need to do. or about their blorbos. or about plans this saturday they're looking forward to. or a million billion things that have absolutely nothing to do with you, some stranger they will never see again.

I'm not saying we should all go walk down strange dark alleyways at night hugging the wall but like... I am really genuinely sorry if you spend all your time afraid and angry. I've perused terf blogs on occasion. all y'all are afraid and angry all the time. and sure, that's just a tumblr blog. idk what you do offline. but anyways, you don't have to be afraid and angry all the time. you shouldn't be in a community that constantly affirms your worst fears in order to keep you afraid and angry. terfs prey on hurt, confused, scared women and tell them "yes, all men are evil!" and "yes, you are valuable just for being a woman!" and suck them into this ideology of hate (ironically this sentence is also a borrowed observation from the alt-right playbook, and maybe the fact that your movement does the same thing to you as the alt-right does to vulnerable, hurt, confused, and scared cishet white men should be a red flag but idk).

maybe that just sounds patronizing. but I mean it. you really don't have to be afraid and angry all the time.

but if you send me any more asks especially if they're nastier you're getting blocked.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i’m really confused as to why so many radfems support fat liberation, when it’s a movement started by nasty fetishist men. it was started by men who just wanted to be unashamed of their fetish for having sex with obese women. how could a radfem support that?

no one should be fat; it’s objectively unhealthy. i don’t see why that’s controversial. no one should starve themselves and follow stupid diets either, but i don’t know why people act like those are the only two options. i think it’s fine to advocate for people being kind and respectful human beings towards fat people, and to not harass and bully them for being fat, but we’ve moved onto saying it’s perfectly fine. i have a chronic illness myself and it’s not fine; no one should have this illness. same with excess adipose tissue. the only difference is that it’s always possible to lose weight, and not always possible to cure yourself of diseases and disorders.

i think radical feminists support body neutrality more than fat liberation. i have a lot of grievances with the fat positivity movement which i have aired on this blog before but i think youre confused if you think fat people need to be lectured on how unhealthy it is to be fat, or have their fatness further moralised. they know.

what feminists rightfully focus on is to shine a light on the specific mistreatment fat women and especially fat girls face. overeating can be a coping mechanism for trauma like sexual abuse. and you know who is very vulnerable to sexual abuse? fat girls, who are marginalised for being female and ostracised for being fat on top, which often leads to loneliness and isolation which makes them easy prey for predators. i actually wish radical feminists would not treat any woman trying to bring up beauty bias (i consider fat bias to be where beauty bias and ableism cross) and how being unattractive negatively impacted her life with a flippant „well beauty doesnt/shouldnt matter“ because being attractive does help building selfesteem, and not just regarding your looks. also, medical misogyny is amplified for fat women, and obviously radical feminists oppose diet culture, which is inherently connected to the culture around fatness, etc

lastly, i think most radical feminists encourage other women to be fit to their best ability, to build muscle and strength, because gender norms of women having to be tiny and weak are disadvantageous to women in many ways, especially when it comes to self defence. some women are fat and its honestly none of our business why they have not lost weight. the only ones i personally criticise are the extremist online fat activists who are either making liberal feminist („fat is beautiful“ etc) or lowkey fetish content.

[plutodetective]

I have to work today, but there’s a lot I want to say about Jonathan and gender, and I won’t have the time to organize it in a proper essay, so here are some points:

1) Of fucking course men can have characteristics usually attributed to women and still be men. I’m working on a series of sci-fi adaptations of fairy tales, and in my Sleeping Beauty the protagonist is a (cisgender) boy, precisely because I want boys to see they can be vulnerable and need rescue too. And I completely understand if someone prefers to see Jonathan as a cis man because it’s so rare to see men in this role, surviving abuse, when it does happen in real life. I start my Gothic Heroine Support Group fic with Belle making precisely this point. Men can be prey, women can be predators. She knows this because that’s what happened to the original Beast, and kudos to Gabrielle Suzanne de Villeneuve, the author of the original Beauty and the Beast, for making this point centuries ago.

2) That being said, Jonathan seems to identify with women on a deeper level than being on a role in which women usually are. For me, what cements the headcanon is when he chooses the women’s quarters to sleep in, seeming to long for “a gentle life”, even if it involved sadly waiting for the menfolk to return from war. He seems to identify with the female identity, not only the female role. That’s only my personal interpretation, I fully acknowledge that. But seeing as it’s one that a lot of trans people in the fandom seem to share and, more importantly, to identify with, it’s one that is more than valid: it brings people joy. I’m cis. I’m also bisexual, and I know the joy of seeing myself in a character through subtext, and also how frustrating it is when people say it’s not true because it’s not 100% explicit in the text. If trans people are telling me they identify with Jonathan, I believe them and I take that as there being reasons I acknowledge I cannot fully understand why Jonathan is potentially a trans woman.

3) I assume everyone here has heard of Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey. But it’s less likely that everyone has heard of Gail Carriger’s The Heroine’s Journey. I fully recommend this book to everyone. But the point she makes is that whether someone is a “hero” or a “heroine” according to hers and Campbell’s analysis doesn’t depend on their gender. Women can follow Campbell’s Hero Journey, and men can follow Carriger’s Heroine Journey. And non-binary people can follow either. The names come from the gender of the characters who originated the archetypes, with Campbell’s being classic Greek heroes, and Carriger’s being ancient world goddesses. With that in mind, although no one has written a “Gothic Heroine’s Journey”, Jonathan Harker is a gothic heroine, regardless of whether you see him as cis man or trans woman, because he follows that story type step by step.

4) Does anyone here know of a transgender gothic heroine (in the gender neutral sense explained above)? Because I don’t. If anyone does, seriously, please point me their way, I’d love to increase my gothic knowledge. But it’s a type of representation I’ve never seen. As a member of a lot of minorities, I feel very happy whenever I see any of them represented in ways I’ve never seen before, and I can only imagine it’s the same for trans people. So what’s the harm in letting Jonathan be that? Seriously. All that is missing so far from Jonathan being a fully classical gothic heroine is him going around the castle in a flowing white dress. If I ever get to adapt my written version of modern day!Dracula, I’ll absolutely put Natália (my version of Jonathan) in a white nightgown, just to give a transgender actor the chance to play out this scene that I’ve seen so many cis women do over the years. Again, I understand if someone takes empowerment from Jonathan as a cis man surviving abuse, and I’d never want to take that away from them. Jonathan being a cis man is an absolutely valid reading too. But I think trans women deserve empowerment too, deserve to see a trans woman playing out a story so many of their cis counterparts have always had. The book is in public domain. We can each adapt them the way we choose. Cis man Jonathan and trans fem Jo, Natália, or whatever name you prefer for her, can coexist and be important to the groups of people each of them are important to. 

[saintjosie]

tw: abuse

the cis men trying to hit me up on tumblr feel like the lowest tier of chaser scum.

like twitter is gross but the chasers there are mostly following sex workers and assume that i’m a sex worker based on the fact that i’m hot and trans. like that’s annoying but a lot of trans women do sex work and people on twitter are adverse to reading bios so that’s fine, i’ll just block.

but on tumblr, i barely post any selfies. chasers are following cause they see a video or something i’m talking about and see that i’m trans and then decide based on that they can slide into my dms? it’s giving abusive narcissist looking to prey on vulnerable and self conscious trans women as we interact with our own community.

i know that when i was early in transition, i fed on validation from men because if a straight man was giving me attention as a woman, then somehow that validated me as a woman. now i am a lot of more self confident and know my worth. and when i think about how i was in my early transition days, it feels especially gross and predatorial that these chasers are on here trying to slide into the dms of trans women just trying to live their lives and learning to love themselves.

anyways, if you’re a trans women early in transition getting validation from men, pop off, use them, have your slut phase. consume their souls and leave their shallow husks begging for more. but also never forget that you are amazing and worthy of love. and then make sure you throw out the trash after you ascend.

[toxicroyjamie]

🌀 and �� please!!!! 🙏🙏🙏 I would make a blood sacrifice to read your RoyJamie fic, if that's any motivation.

THANK YOUUUU .... It so is.... I have like 39 wips and I NEVER have time to finish them but I feel like if I actually locked in on one project I could like. Actually make something idk. but yes ty <3

🌀: Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't published.

I'm literally so bad at writing summaries and I never do it, so I'll just describe one haha

It's an AU where Jamie's life veered off course in his late teens and he became a year 0/reception (or Pre-K in the US - 4-5 year olds) teacher instead of a football player. Roy is the exact same. Phoebe's in Jamie's class and Roy and Jamie hit it off when Roy's sister gets an emergency call into work and he has to go be the Volunteer Parent Helper in Jamie's classroom haha

🌤️: Post your favorite dialogue from your WIP.

This is from the same one just to keep the theme going. Keep in mind this is a work in progmess lol <3

“So,” she starts, drawing out the o sound, which immediately confirms Roy’s suspicion that she’s got vicious, nasty ulterior motives.

“What do you think of Mr. Jamie?”

Roy throws his head back and groans.

Since he came out, Rachel’s been on the fool’s errand of trying to lure him into talking about men with her.

It's like she thinks they're on fucking Sex and the fucking City, or something.

Roy is really no more eager to discuss men with his sister than he ever was to discuss women with her (or than he would be to, say, flatten his testicles in a vice-grip), and has tried several times to explain as much, but Rachel doesn’t listen to a goddamn word he says.

She reaps some sort of demented delight from his continued irritation.

Fucking little sisters.

Roy takes a hedonistically-long swig from his stemmed glass and swishes the bitter liquid around in his cheeks like a wine-tasting old-money prick.

It tastes like wine; he thinks he detects notes of grapes.

"Jamie’s fine,” Roy concedes, refusing to fall prey to her scheme. “Seems…nice.”

Rachel - undeterred - jabs him beneath the ribs with her bony index finger.

It fucking hurts. She’s inherited their mother's hawk talon fingers, long and sharp and probably strong enough to break a rodent’s neck in one go.

Roy cradles his poor, abused side and glares daggers at her across the sofa.

“Fuck off! What?”

“You know.”

He does.

“No, I don’t,” he insists, directing his attention back towards the TV.

He keeps his arms firmly glued to his sides, just in case she tries it.

Two of the dark-haired, belipfillered women who have been courting the same ugly little blond lad are yelling at each other in a restaurant booth, but Rachel was running her mouth through the entirety of the talking heads segment, so Roy's got no idea what's happened or where they are.

He growls in annoyance and moves to grab the remote off the coffee table.

The moment his sides are exposed, Rachel lunges at him, driving her talon into his vulnerable side.

Next time, Roy thinks, I’ll bite her finger clean off.

“Fucking stop!” He orders.

He slaps her hand away hard enough that she yelps.

"Are you really gonna make me say it?" She demands, cradling her hand like Roy's fucking broken it, or something. “I have to be the weirdo?”

“Yeah. Because I've got no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on, Roy. He's fucking fit.”

“Is he? Didn't notice. Can I just fucking watch our fucking show?”

“All the mummies fancy him, too,” Rachel continues, ignoring him altogether. “I mean, not me. I don't like athletic men. They're all vain and shallow.”

“Hm.”

“But all the other mummies. God, there's a mums’ groupchat—for, like, playdates, or day-drinking, or whatever—and the shit these women say about this boy—let me show you.”

She reaches for her phone on the coffee table, but Roy waves her off.

“I can imagine, thanks.”

[yaniasogames]

lacey’s flash games and the horrors of womanhood: part 1, lacey’s wardrobe!

(trigger warning for discussions and possible depictions of: sexual assault/rape, stalking, abuse, violent misogyny, gore)

so i guess it’s a bit awkward for me of all people - someone who is a girl but not assigned one at birth or passing - to be writing this post, but i just wanted to talk about this aspect of this series cause i think it’s a big part of why it feels so unique and why the horror works for so many people.

the lacey’s series is pretty often praised for it’s great horror and scares, as well as it’s depiction of trauma, but i think more specifically it deserves praise for taking subjects such as stalking and sexual abuse and executing them in a way that’s deeply sympathetic and yet still so shocking and effective.

in the first ever lacey’s video, lacey’s wardrobe, we of course follow the titular lacey in the titular game as she gets dressed for multiple occasions. a picnic, going to the mall, and a date with the “cutest guy.” all that is disrupted, though, by her stalker, a man who follows her in near every area of the game, proclaiming his love for her in a totally not creepy and invasive and wildly inappropriate way.

throughout the video, lacey seems to have no privacy, and no relief from her stalker. besides not even being safe in a public place like this one, some of the most terrifying events in the video bar the finale happen while she’s still at home. she gets threatening phone calls and a grotesque gift from the stalker that make her feel trapped, and there’s whole segments where the stalker is seen peering through her window and is heard knocking furiously on her door. all while she’s in her own bedroom getting dressed.

the videos ending consists of the player dressing up lacey and forcing her to go outside alone at night, even when she breaks the fourth wall and begs and begs and begs them not to. lacey gets cannibalized by her stalker, with audio of her crying and shots briefly flashing by of her dismembered corpse. unless, of course, her stalker kept her alive through all of this torture. said stalker’s reason for doing this?

this video on it’s own already carries a lot of dark subtext with it. it’s not uncommon knowledge that many people in real life experience stalking, with most victims being women. it’s also not uncommon knowledge that in many parts of the world, walking home at night as a woman is very unsafe and carries the risk of your wellbeing being in danger, which is why many women carry pepper spray and why products such as rape whistles exist. lacey is aware of her stalker, and pretty clearly feels unsafe throughout the whole video. her permanently smiling face and the music distort after the first call from the stalker, and she begs at the end not to go outside. she knows how vulnerable she is against this threat, but she has no agency as a video game character simply there to be dressed up and beautified by the player. it’s like watching prey get dropped right into the cage of a predator, despite all the fear it’s showing at the sound of the predators roars.

this feeling extends to how out of all of the ways lacey could’ve ended up at the end of the episode, the specific choice is made to have her be eaten. to be gruesomely consumed by a man who claims to “love” her. consumed so that he can keep a woman who shows zero interest in him all to himself, not even caring that she’s crying and in immense pain as he literally rips her apart. it’s entitled. it’s greedy. it’s horrifying. and everything about this video shows how many stalkers view their victims, and how many men view women in general - as something they consume, they indulge in. as pretty dress up dolls who only serve to fill them up and be the objects of their affection, even when those women don’t want it.

another thing to note (although i am definitely not trying to victim blame poor lacey in any capacity) is the outfit lacey wears at the end. while a common shitty excuse that rapists make to put down their victims is that “they were asking for it!!1” because of the clothes they chose to wear, lacey pretty obviously doesn’t have a choice in this situation, and for her date, the player chooses to put her in a red jacket, choker and daisy dukes, a color and articles of clothing that are often associated with flirtiness and sexuality by society. these would be great choices if lacey wanted to go on this date of her own volition, but it’s made unsettling because, again, she doesn’t have a damn choice. in two of the shots, there’s even deliberate focus on her torso and therefore chest and legs as she meets her demise. could these possibly be from the stalkers POV?

a piece of media that this all reminds me of is silent hill 3, an (actually real) horror game that also taps into the many fears women commonly face, and how it feels to be a girl in a world that largely sees you as nothing but a target, an object, a tool. while not directly tying into the main plot of that game, in the area of the brookhaven hospital, you can find letters directed to main character heather from an unseen man named stanley. these letters are very… purposefully uncomfortable. the whole vibe of this part is made even worse by the fact that 1) the sound design, way the letters are written and the fact that earlier letters disappear when you go back to them support the idea that stanley is actually in the hospital watching heather from afar, and 2) heather is still a teenager, only being 17 years old throughout this whole game. not even her young age protects her from these circumstances. hell, many girls that age are already thought of as being “woman” enough.

stanley, similar to lacey’s stalker, is convinced that himself and the girl he’s stalking are meant to be together, and he objectifies heather through his writing and the way he sends her a doll as a gift.

stanley is shown as well to be a physical threat to others. you can find out he stabbed another patient at the hospital completely unprompted, and in one of his final letters, the doll that was a gift to heather? it’s broken into pieces.

the parallels to lacey’s stalker are apparent, as he both shows signs of violence against others before harming lacey (yells and demands her to come outside over the phone and sends her a gift of blood and guts), and is shown to have broken lacey into pieces when he eats her. just like children with their dolls, violent and dangerously misogynistic men often decide to rip apart and carelessly destroy the women they view as their playthings when they aren’t getting what they want. they desire control and for women to feel like their tools, and their victims are often left feeling like they have nowhere to go that’s safe. not a picnic with friends, not the shopping mall, not their own house, nowhere at all. it’s profoundly isolating and calls to mind how many abusers function, with the typical victims of both domestic violence and stalking usually being - you guessed it - women.

while all of this is heavy stuff for one video, as the lore of the series expands in the following videos and you learn more of lacey’s situation, the themes of the abuse, objectification and unwanted sexualization women face are strengthened, and become even more integral to why the lacey’s games are the way they are.

as rocio, the in-universe creator of the series states, these are the real girl’s games.

[aloneatpeace]

Fall of Empire

Three knights '2'

Summary: 𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓪 𝓯𝓾𝓷𝓷𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻. 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷 . 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓭𝓮𝓷𝔂 𝓸𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼.

 Disclaimer - this is pure fan fiction it's not real. I mean no disrespect to any of the members. The story is fictional it's doesn't have anything to do with the real-life members of bts.

 Warning - sexual Abuse, degradation of women, suicide, sexism, men doing awful things, assault/ rape. (Not by the boys)

 The castle walls were silent as the man stand looking down at women with a malicious smile as she covers herself with her shredded clothes, rivers of silent tear roll down her rosy cheeks hair wild trying to shrink herself eyes shut hoping it would save her from the reality. The man let out a chuckle finding her attempt amusing as if its some twisted game, with a satisfied smile he walks out of the room two man greeted him outside with same sick smile as they chatter away from the room.

 That’s only when she truly felted at ease, her mind was filled with range a range that could destroy the world if she wanted to, hopelessness as if she drowning in sea full of monsters that’s want to eat her alive, shame that she won’t be able the same after what happened, resentment to the world, to fate that made her the prey, sympathy because she wasn’t the first one and won’t be the last one, baffled at behavior of the kings and queens who supposed to protect them.

Where were the when she filched at the unwelcomed touch? Were was them when she was petrified when member of royal family tore her clothes? When she was screaming her lungs out that she didn’t want it, when she was begging not to hurt her? When she wailed in agony at the mans to stop? Where were they? Why didn’t they hear her was it because she was a maid? Was is it because he was one of the royals? Was it because she woman? The queen is a woman but why was she and others was only feed to the monsters? Was she really naïve to belief that she would be saved?

She was present the day when king was crowned pledging that he would be their savior and provider a shield that would protect them when the people will be in danger, like loyal night as her father whispered the same with her in his arms her mother was caressing her back as they watched the ceremony. She remembers the day when her mother become a maid at castile just like she was, her father was happy about its years was filled with happiness and laughter but soon she stumbled upon her mother weeping at one night as her father tried to comfort her.

Soon after her father was accused of trying to haram one of the royal, when ultimately ended in death making her mother hysterical and out her mind as the administer of the royal court claimed she was casted out. The other maids took her in offering a place, she couldn’t understand what was happening but she was too afraid to ask questions, grief stricken too the core she was numb  

Even after losing her parents, she didn’t break she saw the good in the world even if it was dark sometimes that’s how she survived this long. But standing Infront of the mirror she couldn’t recognize herself. All she could see is a bruised and bleeding women naked to eyes that preying on her, vulnerable and distraught. She was mortified to see her reflection; with shivering arms she gathers what left of her clothes shake hands clenched around herself.

This won’t be the last time, the thought echoed in her minds as walk out the room, the other maids pity eyes hunted her as watched her drag her feet slowly, her friend, Ella’s eyes were red with tears as she scrabbed the floor hands tightening around the clothes all she wants to do is embrace her friend but that would only result in punishment for not just one of them but everyone.

 Emma’s tired eyes glance at Ella as she holds back tears a whisper lighter than air left her lips “forgive me”. Ella doesn’t understand what she meant by that , but before she can look up Emma was gone; Ella stands lost, the desire to follow Emma increasing but fear was always runns deeper and strong.

The sound waves crashing together made Emma oddly clam a smile was present on her face as look at the horizon as if behind the it lays her salvation, she cannot escape the walls never truly and inside those walls she doesn’t have the sense of warm and safety once she felt in the arms of her parents, it suffocates her making her hard to breath hands and legs tied to invisible shackles. It always felt cold and eerie to compared to the soothing wind that’s blows around her.

Ella was only thing that reminded her a sense of warmth but now she is feeling a little selfish, leaving her alone in there, felt like abandoning herself because they are all the same, being silenced and controlled. Enough; she is really tried now she can’t escape the reality they will always win it will happen again but she doesn’t want them to win. She doesn’t where this strength came from as she walks towards water, deeper and deeper she reaches at each step. She remembers when her father said there is monsters under the seas but she is knowing that no monster is curler and frightening than one she encountered. After a while in life, she allowed herself be selfish for the first time and last time, finally she can be free from nightmare she can sleep peacefully.

She was lost in the feeling of sweet release that she didn’t hear the yells of a young man that saw her, one young man jumps out his horse and run towards her to save her, he let his sword fall as the other man shout for companion that was far back away from them.

A serene smile still was there as she allowed the cold hands of Thanatos to gentile pull her into the depth her new paradise.  

 The young man looks around the searching for the girl but he was unable to find her, he went under water again but still couldn’t find her. With a heavy heart he slowly swims towards the shore his two friends stand there with a same expression

“How long will this continue? How may of them have to kill themselves?”  jaw clenched the man ask themselves. His anger was not towards them but to those who are the root cause of it. He takes his sword from his friend huffing in aggravated

“Until it is right time comes now, we cannot do something that recklessly” the dark-haired man answer his voice was clam and collected.

“Yoongi is right, our actions blinded by anger only cause damage than fixing” Jimin said placing on the shoulders of Jungkook to make the said male clam

“They don’t deserve this” Jungkook stated

Min yoongi glance at the horizon with a straight face but his eyes held anger in them “no one does, but we are their puppet “before looking at the two men Infront of him “but one day it shall be changed trust me on this”. jimin and Jungkook look at yoongi knowing he might already might have found some kind a solution The three knights of vadrnoia stand there conflicted but determined.

A royal knight pledged their loyalty and respect, they are sworn to protect the royal family even if it mends to sacrifice theme self. But do they worth of their loyalty and service when the treat the people like a mere dirt under there feet, no they don’t.

 the loud laugh of and sound of plates clatter reached the three knights’ ear as they walk towards the dining hall.

“As I was saying our kingdom never been these fortunes” one of the administer boosted feeding the ego of the king who give him smug look that made Jimin wanted to throw up yoongi was always better at hiding his expressions while the other two struggles with Jungkook sneakily nudge him to keep it quiet.

At their arrival all attention turns to them, the administer Thaddeus is weasel and know how to stand his ground the trios’ headache there is nothing goes unnoticed with that man knowing he’s son and brother another pain. “Anything you inform his majesty?”

“Another maid drowned herself my majesty” yoongi said in monotone from the conner of his eyes he could see the other maid’s flitch at the news

The king dismisses the queen and other court ladies with a single monition of hand they silently leave as Morris the courtier role his eyes dismissing what the knight said “my king the princes well be back from training in couple of days yet nothing is prepared for their grand arrival”

“Indeed, the time is near” he then looks at Thaddeus “there is a town far away near the silver lake forest if my memory is correct”

“Yes, my majesty. there is town indeed there”

“Start looking for new maids there I’m sure you will find young fine women there” the king laughed as well everyone in the table while the three stood like stone.

“I believe there is festival taking place the next day, it would helpful to select them” Thaddeus adds

The king node his head before looking at the three knights “you three will in charge of it”

The three bow “as wish your majesty” yoongi said. Maybe they can tell there was no young women in there. Jungkook thinks

“Take my son Amon with you, he knows how to get things done” Jimin roll his eyes at the comment thankfully no one was looking at him one day he is going to kill the vermin the same thought shared between the three.

  The harried footsteps reached outside the kitchen pushing the door open mina enter her eyes searching for Ella, she finds her washing plates

“She is gone” the kitchen falls silent, Ella glance up to see a swollen eyed, shaking holding on to the door for dear life

First Ella didn’t understand but seeing minas face she understand the grief the fear the anger all in her eyes before she can scream out her pain Eloise shut her mouth with hands “don’t… its okey… “she try ease the pain her tears were also freely falling as she consoled Ella “sh.… sh... its going to alright” the muffled cries of Ella echoed faintly the moon was the witness of their pain and suffering.

 Jungkook and Jimin was first to wake and start to prepare for the travel feeding their hoses taking a satchel of gold coin that given to them, getting everything done not that eager to do it but they rather not be near Amon. The two successfully put that duty on yoongi and yoongi only agreed because he knew Jimin or Jungkook would may actually end up with fighting Amon.  

“You know maybe we could push down the hill or bound him to a tree and say we attacked by wild animals” Jungkook said with a innocent smile

Jimin gasp “how can you say such a thing” he frowns at him in disappointment “I was thinking beat him up nice and slow. You know with some great commitment

Jungkook pouts “why didn’t I think that” Jimin glance at the enter of castle to see yoongi and Amon walking to wards them

“We can think more creative way later they are here”

Yoongi face in nonchalant whereas Amon chatting his ear off from the look on his eyes the both know its going to be long journey.

 The town was loud it filled with the laughter of children and murmuring of the peoples, its like a new world outside the castle, young women in the villages as well as the women stare at the handsome men in the hose as the pass. Jungkook and jimin give them polite smile. When the both pass a group young women wave at them Jungkook wave back at causing them to bust out a giggle making the male shy jimin laugh at the youngers domineer.

Amon was purely basking in the attention all to himself not knowing its because the other three men not him but his thoughts were animalistic anyone who do not know him would consider as young chivalry man but those who really know him know how he is far from it.

They mound their hose, Amon stand Infront of them “we will spend the night here see who is worthy enough to be inside the castle, in dawn we will collect them and leave” he stated before walking towards the center of the town “attention everyone” he said in loud voice gathering everyone around him “I, the son of Thaddeus Theron administer of The Majesty of our kingdom of Vadrnoia is need for assistance in castle as the princes of our kingdom returns would a grand event, the castle require help, young strong men to young women capable of work will welcomed to assist, I shall select the eligible at end of this night by dawn those who selected will travel to castle. Everything you need will be provided the king himself make sure this” murmurs start to grow as everyone enthusiastically speak among themselves

A man among them walks forward “everything will be provided to us?”

Amon give the man a smirk “everything my friend” cheering of the people was loud and the three-knight watch everything

“I don’t like it” jimin said

Yoongi scoff at Amon who already starts to walk towards a young group of women’s “as weasels’ pawn is weasel” he turns to jimin and find Jungkook missing “where is he?” jimin frown in confusion and look at his side and realize the absence of Jungkook.

They look around and find him standing by young man who is selling fruits and vegetables. Jungkook seeing them motion them to come closer. Yoongi and jimin sigh seeing the youngest mouth filled with red berries with a wide smile on his face.

Hoseok simply smiles at the young man who excitedly devouring the berries that you given him. He watched another two men dressed as the one standing Infront of him walk towards them. He heard what Amon said but he not interested in going to the castle even a little bit. everything that he is need in the town and……in the woods.

Just few hours till he sees you again

Masterpost

Thank you for reading, comment, likes and reblogs it's help to write 💓🙏

Tag

@thebisexualonesworld @bangtan1325

[storytellersnek]

Memes are cool but we do not stan Father Jim Defroque in this haunted satanic house. Fucker is an antagonist in the story.

He's not cute or a fun dude to party with. As much as the video is funny and the tune catchy, the comedy is only the sugary coating to make it easier for some to see how vile supposed 'men of god' are or can be. And to some of us, its a very real depiction of people we actually knew.

He's the guy that will beat the shit out of the boy he strings along or out him. Jim will use, exploit, discard and condemned women. He upholds the status quo and gets to do what he wants with impunity. He's an abuser, a predator. He's the dipshit who preaches for our rights to be taken away. He's a grifter who panders to the alt-right.

He's the scumbag who says its divine will when someone in a minority gets their 'comeuppance' and prays for their soul. He applauds the monsters that make it impossible for trans ppl to use a public bathroom or receive life affirming care but his most searched category of the Hub is trans. He is the snake oil salesman who says he can cure the terminally ill and/or says its demons. He preys on people and hides behind a book to feed his ego and habit. He's the fucker who rather we die than have the right to abortion. He's the piece of shit who will give you a sermon about the glass of wine you had but does Nazca sized lines. He's a liar and a thief and a predator.

People like him exist IRL. People who berated me and verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused me for anything I did from being queer, sexpositive, wearing black eye-shadow, and listening to rock/metal or liking horror stories. To simply being raised aethistically or just the opposite of their own perfect family so therefore must be evil and wrong. My aunt hated me and called me a devil worshiping wh*re because I didn't drink, have boyfriends, or go out like her perfect god fearing kid did. My Nana was convinced I needed to be saved and used a very low point in my life when I was very vulnerable, leading me on line by line to welcome Jesus into my heart. Like some kind of trap or twisted deal.

He's a satirical form of some really shitty fuckheads. And potentially awful predatory people. Yknow like the Inquisition, holy wars, Christian nationalism, all the shit in the Vatican & Catholicism, fucking billionaires and the ever infamous tele-evangelists (which is exactly what the song is abt FYI)

He's a villain and the very thing this band talks about in their music. A hypocritical, self serving, lying, coward. A manipulative little parasite. An ego driven, shitstain who uses god and a book to hurt and use as many as they wish. To get what they want no matter the cost or who pays it. All he cares about is that he keeps his power and doesn't have to face any consequences. He's got a whole flock of sheep and plenty of scapegoats as a pastor. You'll never find him practicing what he's preaching. Won't see him sacrificing. He's got a congregation to do that for him.

He would hurt the characters of the band if given chance. With out the shadow of a doubt in my mind because people like him have hurt me for much less than what any of the characters in Ghost lore are or have done.

He's not a blorbo. Or a secret fling of one of the Papas. Defroque is the asshole who might have traumatized them. He's the conservative fucker trying to set the Ministry of Ghost on fire. There is no enemies to lovers trope here. He's the fucker who wanted to exorcise me for listening to ACDC and Iron Maiden

Needless to say Jim Defroque fans dni.

Edit: The Hockey players are apparently minors? Like Teens. So yeah I stand by what I said. Defroque can choke.

[astridhobbit]

Not gonna quote it because the whole discussion is messy, but I saw someone make the claim that interpersonal violence is overwhelmingly men hurting women. And I am thinking about where that statement comes from.

I'm thinking about how hard it is for men to admit when they've been hurt. I'm wondering how many people realize that they are manipulative OR that they have been manipulated. I'm thinking about the misogyny in our culture, and how women are so rarely perceived to be stronger than men.

And biggest of all, I'm thinking about crime stats.

I served on a grand jury panel recently and it was an education. For purposes of this post, the salient part is that the DA's office almost never brought us a case unless they thought they had a pretty clear chance of getting an indictment. (It helps that, in this setting, we never saw the defense's side of the story, only the prosecution.) They also were limited by what the cops brought to THEM.

So if you're looking at only crime stats to make the claim that women are more vulnerable to domestic abuse than men, you relying on cops (who are soaking in the "women are almost always weaker than men" culture) and DAs (who rely on evidence the cops bring them and then make decisions about what they think they can convince a handful of randos is true) and I just don't trust that those numbers are all that reliable.

This is not to say that the stats are wrong, necessarily. And there are other avenues to look for data, but those all fall prey to the culture of men not admitting weakness or vulnerability. Like yeah, women's shelters for domestic abuse survivors exist, maybe more than men's. But is that down to men being abused less? Or is it a consequence of men being culturally stigmatized for seeking help, especially for help against a woman, a category of person culturally defined as weaker than men?

If you polled a broad sample of men and asked them about their domestic partners, would they name abuse if you asked them directly? What if you asked them indirectly? Would the numbers change?

The things I think about.

[cantstayawaycani]

i'll try to summarize it, but basically, she accuses him of

taking his condom off without telling her

she says he looks out for women who are vulnerable to be with them and then he ghosts them

she calls poder prieto a sect bc their objective is to gain fame through it and not actually do something about racism

the other women she metioned in her original post (other 'victims') are from poder prieto, but she only mentions one actress that slept w/him bc she said it would help her career (maria elena says 'sleeping with him is like a rite of passage'), it was consensual though. she also said another girl told her 'he's super idiotic but he's trying to deconstruct himself. i know'

she said those ppl she mentions turned her back to her when she accused him

she accuses him of gaslighting and pity play (then she adds that poder prieto has been doing the same to 'take care of him')

basically that, then she goes on about her attack and statistics.

honestly i'm still processing but i think yeah, it sucks to be ghosted and feel used, but it's not a crime, that's just a man being a fucking jerk. the only thing that could potentially be a crime is the stealthing (but i don't think it is treated as one in mexico).

i guess now we'll have to wait and see what he has to say. i honestly don't know -if this is false- how he'd get out of it or make a proper response.

and not to make this about me but this is so fucking tiring, my dear. i need a hug.

WARNING -- THIS ASK MAY BE TRIGGERING

Basically, she accuses him of:

taking his condom off without telling her

This is rape. I won’t mince words about this.

she says he looks out for women who are vulnerable to be with them and then he ghosts them

More than simply fuckboy behavior, yes, this can be categorized as predatory. 

she calls poder prieto a sect bc their objective is to gain fame through it and not actually do something about racism

This is 100% apparent to me. I had a feeling about this organization since I started learning about Tenoch.

the other women she metioned in her original post (other 'victims') are from poder prieto, but she only mentions one actress that slept w/him bc she said it would help her career (maria elena says 'sleeping with him is like a rite of passage'), it was consensual though. she also said another girl told her 'he's super idiotic but he's trying to deconstruct himself. i know'

Again – this can absolutely be described as predatory. Culturally, in our patriarchal society, we want to call the "playboy behavior. of a "womanizer". A fuckboy. But as it is described in her statement, it is preying on vulnerable women looking for careers. The “trying to deconstruct himself” part seems to be what he tells himself and what he tells these women and what he has told us, and man, did we fall for it.

she said those ppl she mentions turned her back to her when she accused him

Again, this is typical of our societal culture that turns their backs on women who protest the continued normalization, rationalization and encouragement of this type of behavior.

she accuses him of gaslighting and pity play (then she adds that poder prieto has been doing the same to 'take care of him')

Not surprising now that the rest of her story is put in context for me. It's in the playbook of the abuse of women and the protection of men.

Elena’s character is of course being put into question. But two things can be true. She can have been a bad actor in other people’s lives and been preyed on and abused by Tenoch. Just like Tenoch can present to us a great man trying to champion others who has also been predatory, abusive — and if he indeed stealthed her or other women, I’m sorry but that makes him a rapist.

It’s shocking to me that there are some who still don’t see it that way. Who are even now, kind of naively writing these things off as “a woman scorned” who caught feelings, got dumped, and is now trying to get back at him. They don’t seem to see themselves as participants in rape culture.

I am guilty of it too. Before I read the (translated) statement, I was angry. Then I realized in a snap what the fuck I was doing. I thought about my mother. I thought about my sister. I thought about my aunts, my cousins – and myself. What Elena describes here is exactly the sort of things we have gone through, and even now have to watch out for, from men.

This will anger some people. But, that’s just the truth as I see it. Trying to rationalize and excuse his behavior by dumping on this woman and demanding that she provide proof is exactly what that is. You can’t prove stealthing. You can’t litegate it either.

You have to do the mental and emotional WORK to recognize the tendency to make excuses for the behaviors of men and to stop yourself from engaging in it.

Please, please please anon, don’t twist yourself into knots so you can hold on to the belief that Tenoch didn’t do this to this woman. 

“Is there proof?” No, and there won’t be. 

“Is it criminal?” Not technically, but stealthing certainly should be. It’s a form of rape. It’s non-consensual, unprotected sex. 

“Is it her word against his?” Yes it is. But despite how people want to characterize her, even if she is the most horrible person, if there is even a flying chance in hell that she’s telling the truth, that cannot be overlooked.

Give yourself peace of mind. Be his fan if you want, but accept that this is more than likely a part of who he is as a person.

I can’t support him anymore. I said I was waiting for more, but there is no more. I can't see anything happening legally unless it ends up like the Heard/Depp situation.

I am sending you hugs and love, truly, sincerely. And if this makes you and fellow Tenoch fans angry with me, I understand. But for me, life is too short. And I have other problems to deal with. The stress of this – something that does not belong to me? Is not worth it.

I need to get some sleep tonight.

.......

UPDATE because people continue to find this post:

Due to information uncovered about Elena as well as her own contradictions and discrepancies, I cannot support her claims against Tenoch. I no longer find her credible. If you want specifics, send me an ask.