#abuse mention //--/

[like-the-midnight-sun]

You joke but I am sure a throng of jackasses on this site will get there someday

making art is actually abusive because you are manipulating the viewer into feeling something

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

can we ask about ur family's curse

according to my great grandma it was cast on her grandma by a neighbor with the evil eye - "your daughters will marry their fathers and your sons will become them"

which is really just a fancy way of describing the cycle of abuse and therefore worked very well, generally going into effect before the kid in question turned 21

so my matrilineal family tree winds up a fractured, miserable mess, lots of young marriages and parents falling apart generation after generation, serial toxic marriages with generations of kids scattered across the whole state in foster homes - very nasty stuff

until it gets to me (firstborn in my generation of cousins) and by the time im twenty one i am 1. both daughter and son and neither 2. extremely aspec and queer

which apparently this neighbor did not conceive of when casting her eye and seems to have simply error messaged the curse into oblivion. no one born after me has had this problem. all their romantic relationships are loving (though i would never claim them perfect) and their children adored. fairytale loopholed so hard the damn thing disintegrated. its the funniest magic story i have lmao

[yardsards]

been toying with the concept of vampirism as like, needing something that you inherently can't provide for yourself. vampirism as dependency- especially in cases of vampires who refuse to (or straightup *cannot* for whatever reason) feed on anyone without consent, who must rely on blood freely given by living humans.

an independent young adult, so eager to move out on her own and see the world by herself, is turned into a vampire. her human parents are willing to feed her, but now she'll be dependent on them. she can't move away, can't stray too far from the family farm by herself, because she can't be too far from her source of blood for too long. she's afraid of what will happen when her parents are too old to give blood to her, if she'll be able to find someone else to depend on. she'll outlive them all eventually, if she's not left to starve.

a sociable vampire with a wide network of human friends who are willing to offer up their blood to her. they're happy to help her, but she still feels like a monster for having to take their blood all the time. she tries to take as little as possible while they beg her please take more, we hate seeing you so hungry all the time, please let us help. 

a vampire trapped in an abusive marriage because he relies on his wife for blood. if he leaves her without an alternate support system to feed him, he'd starve. she isolated him from all his other loved ones who might've been willing to feed him years ago. she holds the fact that she gives him her blood over his head anytime he tries to defend himself.

[luxlightly]

Student loans is not the only contract a child can enter but not void: Marriage is another.

My sister has worked in sex trafficking law for around 10 years and a the general pattern is "if they're an adult, they were trafficked by their partner. If they're a child, they were trafficked by their parent". And one of, if not THE biggest way children are trafficked(in the USA at least) is via forced marriage. Up and until 2019, this was legal in every state in the US. It still is in all but I think 8, as of 2025.

My sister drafted and fought for multiple bills to end child marriage in various US states and people fought TOOTH and NAIL against passing them. Because most states, while they allow child marriage, require the parents' consent. The child's isn't necessary, but the parents' is. The idea that parents will always have their child's best interests at heart and always have the last say in anything regarding the child's life is one that many people would not abandon in any way.

And, since a child cannot enter a legally binding agreement with a lawyer, they cannot file to get divorced, file for a restraining order, or go to a shelter for victims of domestic or sexual abuse. Running away from an abusive marriage makes them a runaway child that, legally, has to be returned to their legal guardian who, in the case of a child being married to an adult, is their abuser.

(cw: sexual assault) the pedophile -as it is understood outside of academic circles- is a mythical creature. the idea that a complete stranger who kidnaps and sexually assaults kids is their biggest threat is absolutely insane; not one case of CSA (child sexual assault) in a hundred looks like that. CSA is committed almost uniformly by adults in a preestablished position of authority (such as family, family friends, clergy, or teachers) and in a way that a victim who doesn't know what sexual assault looks like will be left unsure what happened to them. without knowing concretely how sex and sexuality works, would you be able to tell the difference between molestation and the various other forms of unwanted physical touch and abuse kids are regularly subjected to? would it even seem that different? but parenthood and the submission of youth to adults as institutions are threatened by the reality of CSA. adults need to justify their ownership of children through an imagined outside threat constantly held at bay through their diligence. the truth - that putting yourself in such a position of authority over children directly enables abuse (including sexual abuse) - is thrown aside.

[dailymanners]

RE: the post I just reblogged about how bullies will single out victims for having neurdivergent traits but will rarely if ever come right out and say "I bullied you because you're neurdivergent", they'll just say it's because you were too weird and eccentric (no matter how harmless that weirdness and eccentricity is)

I don't want to derail a post specifically about being neurdivergent, so I'm going to go ahead and make this its own post. But, I have been having a lot of thoughts lately on how the same thing can be said of being a survivor of abuse makes you vulnerable to more bullying and abuse.

I've lurked in subreddits for bullying victims to talk about their experiences, and there's almost always comments saying things to the victims like "bullies probably always sniff you out because you're quiet and withdrawn and act afraid of other people" "bullies sniff you out because when they raise their voice to you or say something mean you flinch and freeze up instead of standing up for yourself" "bullies sniff you out because they can tell from your body language that you have low self esteem and low self worth so they take that as you being an easy target"

Gee, I wonder what sort of life experience could make someone withdrawn, afraid of other people, flinching and freezing when someone is mean or raises their voice at them, and also lowers this person's self esteem and self worth 🤔🤔🤔

Just like in the last post I reblogged where they said it's unlikely for a bully to come right out and say "I picked this victim because they're autistic", instead they'd say "it's because this person is weird and eccentric", if you were to ask a bully who is targeting a survivor of domestic violence why they picked that target it's unlikely they'd come right out and say "I'm bullying them for being a victim of domestic violence", they would deny that much and probably don't even realize (or care) that their victim is a survivor of abuse. But that doesn't change the fact that they were drawn to this particular target because of traits the victim acquired as a result of enduring abuse.

And sure, especially with therapy you can rebuild your self esteem after abuse, and learn to control your trauma responses better so you're not walking around with a target on your back all day for bullies to come and get you. However, that can take years of healing, probably needing the help of a professional to get that far. Call me a crazy radical or whatever but if someone has already endured abuse they don't deserve to endure years more of bullying until they've healed enough, especially when bullying is likely to stunt or even stop the healing process altogether.

[tranquil-slaughterhouse]

[bittasol]

smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before

[teaboot]

genuine question why you making that "humans are adorable" post even though humanity do horrible things such as genocide, racism, discrimination, ableism, sexism, rape, sexual abuse, and more?

i thought you aware on how awful people can be since judging from things you reblog you are aware of ongoing genocide and witnessing autistic children abused for their condition

Every day I choose to believe that every human being is fundamentally the same. That every adult was once a child, that every child had fears and hopes and joys, and every person desires to live happily and free of pain.

This does not absolve them of their cruelties. This does not condone or minimize their transgressions. This simply is to say, "I too could become monstrous: what would it take to push me there, and how could I prevent it, and if I could not prevent it, how could I stop?"

I believe that to be human is to be an animal like any other. I believe that we are not evil. Because if I believed that humanity was evil, fundamentally cruel, and incapable of better, what hope would I have? What purpose? What life could I live, as a plague surrounded by plagues?

I don't believe that people are good because I have not seen evil actions. I believe that people are good because I have to.

Do you understand?

I must believe in humanity. I must believe in kindness. I must believe in good, and change, and positive intent.

Because otherwise, I'd have nothing to live for.

Because otherwise, all I would have is myself, and self-loathing, and decades of existence in all directions, and a hopeless wasteland to spend it in.

I am not an individual naturally inclined towards trust. This takes effort. This is a survival strategy

[varpusvaras]

Jason arriving home with a black eye and split lip: hey

Roy: hey. Oof, that looks bad

Jason: yeah, well, you know how it is-

Roy: yeah, Gotham, am I right?

Jason: -Batman doesn't kill you but he hits hard

Roy: 😀 what?

[just-antithings]

Your daily reminder that exclusionists are scum

[juicebuck]

"we need more complex characters" you guys literally can't even handle a character expressing anger in the throes of grief without calling them abusive and narcissistic (that one's ableist btw. just to top it all off)

[biracy]

Last rb also has me thinking on like. People conceive of sexual violence as like The Ultimate Form of violence, which manifests itself in two major ways in writing fiction: denying any possible subtext or allegory of sexual violence even in a story about many many many other kinds of violence, or shoehorning sexual violence into an already deeply violent and abusive dynamic to show how Super Totally Fucked Up it is now. And honestly I think tlt fans are "guilty" of like. both of these? There is a very obvious bloc of tlt fans who pointedly ignore the very obvious themes of sexual violence and misogynistic violence overall in the text (as if forcing the soul of the Earth into the body of a beautiful woman you then lock away forever isn't a metaphor for sexual assault), but I'd also argue there's a smaller, yet still present, subset of fans who like, don't seem to realize that grooming a) can exist outside of the context of sexual abuse and b) is still bad even if no sexual abuse is present. I'm not even necessarily against certain reads of like, Kiriona as her father's cavalier being potentially allegorically incestuous, but also I don't think there would need to be sexual violence there for that dynamic to still be abusive. John is, whether biological or surrogate, the "father" of the two teenagers he manipulates the most, and I think it's important to realize that the weaponization of fatherhood is always bad, even if it never "crosses the line" into explicit sexual violence. There are other kinds of abuse and tlt is full of it. Harrowhark is revolted by John's attempts to act paternally towards her because she has only ever known her own parents as forces of control and violence. Harrowhark's parents attempting to get a 10-year-old to commit ritual suicide is actually just as bad as any hypothetical sexual violence between John and Kiriona. In the same way that sexual assault is not "special" in that it should never be written about ever, it's also not "special" in that it is The Most Violence any story can ever have and you know it's Getting Hardcore Now when abuse "escalates" from physical or psychological to sexual

[zukosdualdao]

the argument that zutara could never be healthy together because they’re both ‘too emotional/angry’ and would have explosive fights

is kinda of uncomfortable rhetoric about a) a character who is an abuse victim whose abusers try to use the fact that he is ‘too emotional’ and ‘unreasonable’ against him and b) and a character who turns out not to be a one dimensional well-spring of hope and love and has the people in her life, most notably her main LI, treat any emotion that veers outside of the box as her not being ‘true to herself’. and also ‘unreasonable’. (not necessarily said about either of them but VERY OFTEN implied.)

katara and zuko both tend to get angry when they feel (often based on actual evidence, though in zuko’s case in particular he’s sometimes projecting this onto iroh due to abuse he’s endured from ozai and azula) their emotions aren’t being taken seriously.

and the funny thing is… once they start bonding, they actually take each other’s emotions very seriously.

zuko has no real reason to think katara will do anything about yell some more when he says he’s sorry about his mother and extends his empathy, but he does anyway, because he understands what it was like to lose his own mother.

katara could very easily and understandably get angry and lash out when this guy who’s been chasing them around the world starts talking about his problems in the crystal catacombs, but instead she shows him compassion.

when zuko hears katara tell him why she hasn’t been able to forgive him, he understands and tries so earnestly to figure out how to make it up to her. once he realizes how much she’s still hurting (and always has been!! the whole show!) over kya’s murder, he spends the whole episode trying to help her get closure.

when katara sees zuko is worried about reuniting with iroh, she lends an ear and reassures him without minimizing what he’s feeling.

like… i don’t know man, i think they are actually pretty deeply in tune with each other’s feelings and careful not to minimize or make light of them. i’m not saying they’d be a perfect couple ((because that doesn’t exist)) but that their canon relationship actually shows a lot of healthy development on the emotional communication front, and i don’t see why that wouldn’t extend to a potential romance as well.

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[clairevberry]

vampires as metaphors for temptation/desire is cool and all but what about vampires as a metaphor for cycles of abuse? someone who was abused and exploited a long time ago in the process of becoming a vampire and now is the abuser, someone who turns another into a vampire in desperate desire for companionship and begins to understand why the vampire who turned them did it. a never ending tragic cycle that spans centuries

[infinite-beginnings]

The line when Charles said, "Edwin's told me loads of stories about Hell," and him seeming to know he'd find a map in Edwin's book always hits me hard.

Now I acknowledge Charles might’ve been posturing to reassure the Night Nurse he could navigate Hell, but let's assume this fact was real.

Because that means that Edwin felt comfortable enough to talk about all of his trauma to Charles. He mentions Hell a lot in passing in front of the girls, but he never goes into specifics. However, it seems as if he actively told Charles quite a few details about Hell. I also noticed that Charles is very calm when he's going to find Edwin. Yes, he's studying the book a lot, but he is also navigating the space with a certain amount of confidence. I'm sure it's partially due to Charles' tendency to do things without thinking and project confidence. But also, it seems as if he might have at least a very basic level of knowledge or familiarity with the levels of Hell based on the stories Edwin told.

I think this is probably another reason why Edwin struggled to believe the fact that Charles had faced abuse in his past and never shared it with Edwin. Because Edwin was always up front and honest with Charles. He told him the very first time they'd met that he had just escaped Hell. I'm sure Edwin did not want to relive his memories of Hell, and maybe it took him decades to feel like he could share. But I bet when he started talking about it with Charles, he felt relief. Because sharing your trauma with someone who accepts you and loves you no matter what is always a relief after holding it in and pushing it down.

So I just imagine Edwin feeling that relief after sharing his stories from Hell and feeling closer and more bonded with Charles because of it...and then he finds out that Charles has this huge amount of trauma from his past that he has been keeping inside. It probably breaks Edwin's heart that he hadn't been able to offer Charles the same relief he'd felt.

And yes, Crystal mentioned that Charles was probably denying the trauma even to himself. We all know that Edwin knew something was off with Charles and that he was probably frustrated in himself because he hadn't been able to figure it out, but Crystal apparently had.

But I also think there might be another level to it. The boys have been solving cases for 30 years. I find it hard to believe that they never had another case involving abuse or at least someone with a controlling personality that would've reminded Charles of his father. Maybe Edwin thinks back to a couple of those cases and how Charles was acting strange and withdrawn during them and realized he'd missed a huge clue about how his friend was feeling.

All those years of sharing his stories from Hell and being comforted by Charles and Edwin hadn't been able to do the same. Edwin is definitely hurt that Charles didn't feel like he could confide in him and heartbroken to think about how much pain his friend was going through alone.