#absolutely unreal this is real

[whiteshipnightjar]

*the crowd goes wild* Joanna: thank you, *giggles*, I will take your word for it, cause I can't feel my fingers. This is my first time in 7 years leaving my kids at home

WE LOVE YOU, JOANNA

[melit0n]

I think that's as close as I'm ever getting to a religious experience

[naitaurbusiness]

Definitely, Totally Real Gardevoir Facts

(Made by a Gardevoir for the uneducated)

Due to being Amorphous, if a Gardevoir falls for an extended period of time they squish against the ground like a cartoon. After a few seconds they pop back to normal shape.

Gardevoir dresses are natural parachutes that slow their descent! Gallade do not have this protection.

After creating a black hole, a Gardevoir turns into a Gothitelle.

Also due to being Amorphous, Gardevoir have extremely flexible internal organs.

Much like many other Amorphous Pokémon, Gardevoir are not actually organic nor natural. They are in fact most closely related to mannequins.

The 'default' Tera Type for a Gardevoir is Grass. This is vestigial power left over from the common ancestor they share with Lilligant and Florges.

Gardevoir heart crystals are not well-attached to their body. They can be pushed in and out through the chest without causing any harm. If you find any red, trapezoidal objects, please return them to the nearest Gardevoir.

When a Gardevoir uses Moonblast, they actually teleport to the moon and come back to throw a moon rock at their target. The light is simply there to disguise this.

Somewhere, a Gardevoir is watching you. Give them chocolate to ease the threat.

Does a Gardevoir look concerned for no reason? This is normal and regular occurence. They have likely just seen the universe collapse, as Fairy types are immune to the Dragon type legendaries in charge of space and time. (Exception to this are Gardevoir born in Hoenn before November of 2014, who mysteriously did not develop their Fairy typing before then.)

Being strong empaths, Gardevoir partially sustain themselves on the emotions of others. Positive emotions are more 'filling,' while negative emotions are unhealthy when consumed in large amounts.

The rift above Spear Pillar was created when a group of Gardevoir fought Dialga and Palkia. They all simultaneously created black holes with the help of Giratina, who was banished to the Distortion World for this act.

Shiny Gardevoir are blue because, instead of Liligant and Florges, these Pokémon have various Water Types in their ancestry such as Quaquaval, Milotic, or Vaporeon.

Due to being Fairy types, Gardevoir remember every instance of Dialga has resetting the timeline. Reality is Dragon-type, and we are immune.

Natural green hair in humans comes from Gardevoir ancestry.

Gardevoir always blink manually, just like you are now doing.

Gardevoir do not need to blink, instead they use Life Dew to moisturize their eyes.

Gallade blades can shift forward, instead protruding from the wrists rather than the elbows. This was best documented in the research paper "Assassin's Glade."

If you see a green-haired human, this is a Gardevoir in disguise.

If you ever go to Giahonl, you do not recognize the Gardevoir in the water.

Gardevoir crystals cannot be planted in a pot to grow a Ralts. This is because Ralts require a high-pressure saltwater environment to form.

Gardevoir and Hatterene have a symbiotic relationship where Gardevoir identify sources of strong negative emotions and Hatterene neutralize them. Level of violence involved varies between individuals.

The ability Trace comes directly from Mew.

It's a Gothitelle if it grows up from the ground and a Gardevoir if it grows down from the ceiling.

They're only called Gardevoir if they're from the Gardeaux region of Kalos. Otherwise, they're just Sparkling Hatterene.

When teleporting with a Gardevoir, hold your breath to avoid spaghettification.

Gardevoir are Fairies, and thus are incapable of lying. Everything they say is absolute truth.

[creativitycache]

Went to a Hozier concert and now all my targeted ads are about pregnancy.

[ms-paint-rodger]

Found an old website for that kid's show Dandy's World and managed to get some games to work somehow. Got a couple screenshots of it.

Game was called "Goob's Friend Crafter", had you put parts together with Goob to make a friend.

Came with accessories in the box below the shapes. The arrows made little sounds. Goob even talked sometimes but I couldn't get any photos of that.

Lets you name it and print it when you're done as well.

Came with a filter, apparently. Tried putting this in a joke.

Also tried to see if Goob's name had anything and....

What the fuck?

Why is this in the game?

[klmmcqueen]

Hi everyone!! I'm super proud to be announcing another collaboration with FB! These guys are always full of such excellent ideas and I think their ALLERGEN BARS (tm) are their greatest feat yet! Live your life to the shortest with a Dairy, Nut, Gluten, or Soy bar. Super excited for the Egg bar too!

[punkbooyahbomber2227]

you may have seen a viral video clip floating around recently of a soup base being prepared in a factory kitchen alongside sensationalist articles and newspieces claiming that salmonids are contaminating food meant for inkfish consumption with both their live bodies and raw meat from their corpses. the video starts off innocuously by showing off ingredients being put into a large industrial mixing bowl, until a hoard of salmonids climb into the bowl and splash around in the broth as the beaters start to spin, and the video cuts to a different machine pouring the soup base into bags. most of the footage is lifted from a docuseries on commercial food processing which aired on the eeltail district's public broadcasting network in 2022, adding in a news logo and nonsense captions written using an octarian script font to make it look foreign, while the section in the middle of the video with the salmonids is AI-generated. noticeable tells of this part being generated and added in post include:

the whole section playing at a different framerate than the rest of the video

initially, only two salmonids are shown climbing into the mixing bowl before they call for all the others to swarm in. parts of a third salmonid's body still get seen popping in and out from behind the salmonid on the left while they're in the bowl

the scales of the salmonids often merging with the metal exterior of the mixing bowl, and the salmonids merging with each other in general

the shape of the beaters are inconsistent from what's shown in the footage taken from the docuseries, and they continuously morph into slightly different shapes

and most importantly, here's a critical fact that tends to not be widely known in mainstream inkfish society: adding the meat of a deceased salmonid into somebody else's food without their knowledge is highly taboo within salmonid culture. it's considered to be disrespectful to the dead and was historically considered an act punishable by death in almost every school. having known this fact, i had already sussed out that the video and articles surrounding it were patently false before i was even shown the clip

please don't share the video if you come across it, even if you're making fun of it for how uncanny and goofy it looks. i would urge people to take this opportunity to exercise their critical thinking skills when they're presented with something like this that's meant to shock, disgust, or enrage. consider the current political climate, pay attention to which big name influencers are sharing these stories uncritically, and think about who benefits from spreading and misinformation around salmonids when there's a big run happening in just a few days. having at least some skepticism about what comes across your feeds and of whatever your heavily divorced cousin who fell for the polariscoin scam tries to peddle will go a long way here

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

| | THE MANY FACES OF WES BORLAND | |

[mariocki]

The China Syndrome (1979)

"I may be wrong, but I'd say you're lucky to be alive. For that matter, I think we might say the same for the rest of Southern California."

[rubyroses222]

i do think jude needs rest but he can get it once the season/euros have ended, sorry to him but we need him 😭 it’s also better for him to play regularly as more rest will ruin any rhythm he finds

yeah, that’s kinda what I wanted to imply when I said “he could need a little rest, but he already played less games than most of the regular line up so don’t know where that leaves the rest of them - although we only have an outside pov […]”.

What I actually meant to say was:

1. could = if Jude feels like he needs to rest and if that’s whats gonna bring back the consistency til the end of the season fine with me. But from the outside it does seem like him being out of rhythm was the reason for his bad performances vs Athletic and City. Today however he played very good in his 60 minutes and if he’s a little more efficient vs City everything’s gonna be fine call me delusional but I believe in us winning in Manchester

2. if Jude already feels the need to rest with just 4 club games in the last 6 weeks or sth (I didn’t look up the actual numbers here, it’s late I’m sorry) where does that leave tchoua, vini, rodry, toni² etc etc who played a lot more minutes??? Or FEDE who has played EVERY game this season (27 games for full 90 minutes!!! And another 6 where he played from the beginning and was only subbed of around/after the 80 minute mark; not counting international games)

all that probably didn’t come across very well in the shortened version (but I didn’t want the answer to get too long)

thank u for the anon 🤍

also sorry not sorry for dragging fede into every post

[rawliverandgoronspice]

oh no I stopped working for five minutes and remembered I love he...................... ;;

[an-aura-about-you]

watching youtube videos while unwinding before bed and now I'm caught up in old Pokemon feels.

[penncilkid]

At long last, I return with another cupid centered video— *whispers* Which may also be my 100th video overall!

Since tomorrow is the vivified channel anniversary, I'll save the sap for then. In the meantime, I present the Eclipse Trio once more /pos

[talentforlying]

need to delve more into the psychological horror and mindfuckery of hellblazer, tbh. this man created a whole fucking tulpa of his older self bc he thought he was dying and wanted to go out dreaming of a world where he was happy so badly he manifested it, and he's so fundamentally fucked as a person that the happiest possible version of himself became a nightmarish mastermind who sent half of london mad, manipulated constantine into getting two people possessed, and manifested a genuine actual giant underneath the city. what the Fuck is up with that.

[the-kipsabian]

took me two hours to get back but i have escaped wembley successfully lmao

[gabriellovescandy]

Kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me