#absolutely unreal this is real

[whiteshipnightjar]

*the crowd goes wild* Joanna: thank you, *giggles*, I will take your word for it, cause I can't feel my fingers. This is my first time in 7 years leaving my kids at home

WE LOVE YOU, JOANNA

[grapejuicegay]

tommy watched eddie move in with his girlfriend and immediately move back out while continuing to date her, cheat on her with his dead ex wife's doppelganger, saw him grow his punishment moustache and essentially be sad about chris not being around. and the entire time he sat there thinking. this is my competition.

[melit0n]

I think that's as close as I'm ever getting to a religious experience

[alwayscaskett810]

[jiuchives]

Every goddamn day I lose it a little more (fond)

[naitaurbusiness]

Definitely, Totally Real Gardevoir Facts

(Made by a Gardevoir for the uneducated)

Due to being Amorphous, if a Gardevoir falls for an extended period of time they squish against the ground like a cartoon. After a few seconds they pop back to normal shape.

Gardevoir dresses are natural parachutes that slow their descent! Gallade do not have this protection.

After creating a black hole, a Gardevoir turns into a Gothitelle.

Also due to being Amorphous, Gardevoir have extremely flexible internal organs.

Much like many other Amorphous Pokémon, Gardevoir are not actually organic nor natural. They are in fact most closely related to mannequins.

The 'default' Tera Type for a Gardevoir is Grass. This is vestigial power left over from the common ancestor they share with Lilligant and Florges.

Gardevoir heart crystals are not well-attached to their body. They can be pushed in and out through the chest without causing any harm. If you find any red, trapezoidal objects, please return them to the nearest Gardevoir.

When a Gardevoir uses Moonblast, they actually teleport to the moon and come back to throw a moon rock at their target. The light is simply there to disguise this.

Somewhere, a Gardevoir is watching you. Give them chocolate to ease the threat.

Does a Gardevoir look concerned for no reason? This is normal and regular occurence. They have likely just seen the universe collapse, as Fairy types are immune to the Dragon type legendaries in charge of space and time. (Exception to this are Gardevoir born in Hoenn before November of 2014, who mysteriously did not develop their Fairy typing before then.)

Being strong empaths, Gardevoir partially sustain themselves on the emotions of others. Positive emotions are more 'filling,' while negative emotions are unhealthy when consumed in large amounts.

The rift above Spear Pillar was created when a group of Gardevoir fought Dialga and Palkia. They all simultaneously created black holes with the help of Giratina, who was banished to the Distortion World for this act.

Shiny Gardevoir are blue because, instead of Liligant and Florges, these Pokémon have various Water Types in their ancestry such as Quaquaval, Milotic, or Vaporeon.

Due to being Fairy types, Gardevoir remember every instance of Dialga has resetting the timeline. Reality is Dragon-type, and we are immune.

Natural green hair in humans comes from Gardevoir ancestry.

Gardevoir always blink manually, just like you are now doing.

Gardevoir do not need to blink, instead they use Life Dew to moisturize their eyes.

Gallade blades can shift forward, instead protruding from the wrists rather than the elbows. This was best documented in the research paper "Assassin's Glade."

If you see a green-haired human, this is a Gardevoir in disguise.

If you ever go to Giahonl, you do not recognize the Gardevoir in the water.

Gardevoir crystals cannot be planted in a pot to grow a Ralts. This is because Ralts require a high-pressure saltwater environment to form.

Gardevoir and Hatterene have a symbiotic relationship where Gardevoir identify sources of strong negative emotions and Hatterene neutralize them. Level of violence involved varies between individuals.

The ability Trace comes directly from Mew.

It's a Gothitelle if it grows up from the ground and a Gardevoir if it grows down from the ceiling.

They're only called Gardevoir if they're from the Gardeaux region of Kalos. Otherwise, they're just Sparkling Hatterene.

When teleporting with a Gardevoir, hold your breath to avoid spaghettification.

Gardevoir are Fairies, and thus are incapable of lying. Everything they say is absolute truth.

[creativitycache]

Went to a Hozier concert and now all my targeted ads are about pregnancy.

[mariocki]

The China Syndrome (1979)

"I may be wrong, but I'd say you're lucky to be alive. For that matter, I think we might say the same for the rest of Southern California."

[rubyroses222]

i do think jude needs rest but he can get it once the season/euros have ended, sorry to him but we need him 😭 it’s also better for him to play regularly as more rest will ruin any rhythm he finds

yeah, that’s kinda what I wanted to imply when I said “he could need a little rest, but he already played less games than most of the regular line up so don’t know where that leaves the rest of them - although we only have an outside pov […]”.

What I actually meant to say was:

1. could = if Jude feels like he needs to rest and if that’s whats gonna bring back the consistency til the end of the season fine with me. But from the outside it does seem like him being out of rhythm was the reason for his bad performances vs Athletic and City. Today however he played very good in his 60 minutes and if he’s a little more efficient vs City everything’s gonna be fine call me delusional but I believe in us winning in Manchester

2. if Jude already feels the need to rest with just 4 club games in the last 6 weeks or sth (I didn’t look up the actual numbers here, it’s late I’m sorry) where does that leave tchoua, vini, rodry, toni² etc etc who played a lot more minutes??? Or FEDE who has played EVERY game this season (27 games for full 90 minutes!!! And another 6 where he played from the beginning and was only subbed of around/after the 80 minute mark; not counting international games)

all that probably didn’t come across very well in the shortened version (but I didn’t want the answer to get too long)

thank u for the anon 🤍

also sorry not sorry for dragging fede into every post

[rawliverandgoronspice]

oh no I stopped working for five minutes and remembered I love he...................... ;;

[an-aura-about-you]

watching youtube videos while unwinding before bed and now I'm caught up in old Pokemon feels.

[pennkquest]

At long last, I return with another cupid centered video— *whispers* Which may also be my 100th video overall!

Since tomorrow is the vivified channel anniversary, I'll save the sap for then. In the meantime, I present the Eclipse Trio once more /pos

[talentforlying]

need to delve more into the psychological horror and mindfuckery of hellblazer, tbh. this man created a whole fucking tulpa of his older self bc he thought he was dying and wanted to go out dreaming of a world where he was happy so badly he manifested it, and he's so fundamentally fucked as a person that the happiest possible version of himself became a nightmarish mastermind who sent half of london mad, manipulated constantine into getting two people possessed, and manifested a genuine actual giant underneath the city. what the Fuck is up with that.

[the-kipsabian]

took me two hours to get back but i have escaped wembley successfully lmao

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I’m kind of tempted to get an EMF detector and just walk around the neighborhood with it when the outside is deserted because of bad weather, to see what kind of weird shit is happening sonically.

I’ve continually gotten really bad vibes from a nearby street corner… I’ve astral projected there in my sleep past one time (involuntarily) and I saw some black hole of a creature charge after me. I got the distinct feeling it wanted me carnally and carnivorously at the same time. I had to fly as fast as I could back into my body to escape it (it remained on the ground while I flew). I woke up with the after image of my own eyes staring into my soul, behind a white mask I used to own. It wasn’t like looking into a mirror, though; it felt sinister. I could tell I was looking into my own eyes; but there was something off about them. The eyes were completely devoid of any emotion, but extremely intense… almost as if they had a life of their own behind the reflection; or rather, as if I were the reflection in the mirror, and the eyes were the real me. Super fucking freaky.

To add to the bad vibes: There have also been numerous car crashes at that corner since I’ve been alive, at least one resulting in a woman being seriously injured. Many other times there have been near-misses. We could all hear when it happened— screeching tires, honking, cursing, and on especially unlucky days, the deafening bang of two cars ramming into each other at 40 mph on a 25 mph street.

There is also a sewer drain right on that street corner. It may just be a coincidence; but the one time I used an online ouija board, the spirit (assuming online ouija boards aren’t just a programmed gimmick) said they hated me and that they lived in the water. I refreshed the website a few times and it said the same thing. I don’t think this can be considered evidence; but it’s still weird. I’ve seen an entire family of raccoons in that sewer drain before. I have no idea how they got down there.

I also remember numerous experiences from when I was a child playing alone in my room or drawing at the kitchen table when I would be overcome with the feeling that I was being watched. I would usually come to feel so unsafe that I would drop whatever I was doing to sit in the living room or bedroom with my parents. I never told them why; I just went “nope” and moved to an area with people. My room and the kitchen are both on the side of the house that faces that corner. Mind you, I wasn’t doing anything scary like listening to “let’s not meet” stories when this happened. I was just doing normal kid stuff.

I’m by no means afraid of the dark; but I still get that feeling from the basement sometimes. All the basements on our block have flooded several times with water from the sewers during heavy rainfall because someone forgot to flip a switch for the water mains (I don’t know quite how that works). But yeah… basically the basement is connected to the sewers and storm drains… there are two holes in the floor which act as drains (which is where the flood water came from).

I remember one summer day when I was about eight or nine sitting on the can (the bathroom is right next to my room), taking a shit. We have a tiny frosted window above the bath tub; the bath tub is right next to the toilet. I distinctly saw what looked like the fuzzy silhouette of a man with gray hair standing right outside the window (full head and shoulders). He would have had to have been quite tall, or on a step stool, as the window is more than six feet off the ground from the outside. This dude shouts “Hello!” at me and fucking knocks on the window. I, of course, was startled and also mildly pissed at my dad (who is tall, but not quite that tall) for knocking on the window while I was taking a shit. I got out in the living room and asked why he knocked on the window. It wasn’t him. My parents speculated that it could have been our friend Bob who had briefly stopped by the house; but Bob was a short guy, and surely would have more fucking tact than that. Ever since then if I need to use the bathroom, I close the shower curtain.

On top of all this (completely unrelated), I’ve always had horrifying paranormal dreams since I was a kid, despite being raised without any exposure whatsoever to paranormal media. Also, I’ve had recurring dreams of a warped version of my school system, in which the buildings remain the same every time I dream of them. If there is a pool in any dream of mine, no matter how brief; it is ALWAYS haunted by some malevolent spirit… which is very weird because I absolutely love going to water parks. Always have.

Anyway… TLDR: I may have to banish something from that street corner lmfao

[0809sysblings]

idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1

also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref