#<- spent basically all of elementary school and middle school feeling like there was a giant sign over my head that said--

[roanofarcc]

SCHOOL GROUND BASICS

PAIRING: Pope Heyward x fem!reader

SUMMARY: Pope was a smart kid, which made needing a tutor feel utterly humiliating. To make matters worse, you were enlisted to help, the girl he’d been crushing on since he could remember. 

WARNINGS: Pope is the definition of gifted kid burn-out in his story.

masterlist

“My life is over. I’ve officially hit rock bottom,” Pope complained, sprawled out on the sand. His surfboard lay untouched and stuck in the sand a couple of feet away, lined up with the rest of his friends who had spent the afternoon enjoying themselves while Pope wallowed in his own self-pity. They took a break from surfing to join him, snacking on sandwiches and trying to act sympathetic to his cause, even though school wasn’t any of their first priority. 

That was fine for them, they all had their own set of skills outside of school that would do them just fine when they had to enter the big bad world. Pope didn’t feel like he did, though. A couple of treasure hunts and near-death experiences wouldn’t shine too bright on his college applications. 

Never in his life had his grades dipped below exceptional until he got involved with all of the gold bullshit. Did he regret it, no, of course he didn’t. But he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He had a failing grade, a blemish the size of a crater on his record that he needed to scrub clean. To some, maybe that didn’t seem like the end of the world, but to Pope, a failing grade felt like someone had wrapped him in barbed wire. 

To make matters even worse, he was no longer neck and neck to be number one in his class. Since he discovered class rankings in elementary school, he was determined to be number one. His only competition came in the form of a girl who matched his intelligence in every way. They had a friendly competition, a back-and-forth battle for the number one spot. But he was way behind, and she was leagues ahead. 

“You’ll still graduate, right?” Sarah asked, ringing the salt water from her hair. 

Pope stared at the sky, the pretty blue mocking him. “Yeah.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” 

JJ answered for him. “Pope has a surprisingly competitive spirit. Number one or nothin’.” 

“Did Ms. Wright say anything about how you could get your grade up?” Kie asked, forcing a sandwich into Pope’s hand to get him to eat something. 

He reluctantly took a bite before he replied, “I think she wants to publicly shame me.” His friends looked at him, confused. “She suggested a tutor.” 

JJ laughed loudly, earning a quick slap on the arm from John B. “Sorry! I just ever thought we’d live in a world where the man himself needed to be tortured.” 

Pope groaned in pain, his ego more bruised than anything. Since middle school, Pope was the one tutoring people. He helped JJ memorize his times tables. He got John B. to read Of Mice and Men in its entirety and write a B paper over it. He even helped Kie pass chemistry. And now look at him, a disgraced once straight-A student fallen flat on his face. 

A warm hand patted his shoulder. He lulled his head to the side to the sympathetic smile of Sarah. “Getting a tutor isn’t so bad, Pope. I had one to help me pass algebra.” 

“You guys don’t get it,” Pope sighed. 

“Because we’re all dumber than you?” JJ asked, his eyebrows raised. 

“No!” Pope quickly said. “You guys aren’t dumb, I’m just…school is my thing, all right? Or it was. It’s what I was the best at. Now what do I got?” 

He missed the slightly worried expressions his friends shared with each other. A beat of silence passed before Kie broke it. “School is still your thing. You just need a tutor that’ll get you back on your feet, right?” 

“Yeah! Did Ms. Wright suggest anyone?” John B. asked. 

Pope groaned once more like he was physically ill. Maybe he was being extra dramatic, but it was just how he felt. “She gave me a couple of names. None of them I want to sit in a room with and listen to them try to explain this shit to me, though.” Because they were his classmates, and having to sit in a room with them knowing that they knew he was failing was humiliating. 

For a moment, Pope thought JJ caught a glint of sunlight in his eyes, causing him to squint, but that thought was quickly erased when a smirk fell across JJ’s lips, and he scrambled up from the sand. As he hopped over Pope’s body, he said, “I’ve got you, man.” 

Pope didn’t really want to know what he meant by that, but he was forced to when you were suddenly peering down at him. Pope thought he was hallucinating for a moment, but water droplets from your hair sprinkled his skin and he was suddenly very aware of your presence. 

Kildare was small, and the attendees of his school he knew almost as well as the back of his hand. You, he paid more attention to than most. If he was being honest, your intellect was what drew him to you. The way you’d always raise your hand in class, beating him to the answer or the way you spoke with much thought and care. To Pope, you were admirable, but he never worked up the courage to talk to you. Before the sharp turn of his life and grade point average, he told himself he’d get to know you before you graduated, but it seemed null and void. He needed to focus on his studies, not on his stupid crushes. Besides, Pope never had the best luck with girls.

But then JJ somehow got you to take a break from surfing and dragged you over to the rest of the group. He had seen you at the beach before, but up close you were even more stunning than when you were at school, more carefree and relaxed in a swimsuit that complimented your body and the rays of sun illuminating you in a glowy wonder. 

Kie kicked Pope’s leg, prompting him to clear his throat and sit upright quickly. 

“W-What’s up?” Pope managed to get out, cringing at himself as the words tumbled unsmoothly from his lips. 

“You need a tutor, and I found you one!” JJ said, proud of himself. 

Your lips quirked upwards in a light smile, but a confused one too. “You need a tutor?” You didn’t sound judgmental; your voice was kind but questioning, but Pope wanted to bury his head in the sand and disappear. 

“Kind of,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. 

You seemed to contemplate it for a moment, even though he hadn’t asked you because he was all too embarrassed. Yet, you nodded. “Okay. I’ll do it.” 

JJ clapped you on the shoulder, a cocky smile on his lips that Pope was tempted to smack off of him. “See? Was that so hard?” 

Pope was sweating. His hands were clammy, and he felt like he was on the verge of passing out. What was wrong with him?

“What is wrong with you, dude?” John B. asked, eyeing him from the couch. 

“I don’t know, man!” 

“I think someone’s nervous,” Sarah said with a teasing smirk. “That girl JJ found to tutor you, she’s pretty, huh?” 

Pope stopped his pacing to wipe his hands off on his shorts. “JJ hates me.” 

JJ objected. “No, I’m doing you a favor. Killin’ to dogs with one stick.” 

“Birds,” Kie interjected. “It’s ‘kill two birds with one stone.’” 

JJ furrowed his brows. “Why would someone throw rocks at birds?” 

“Why would someone kill a dog with a stick?” John B. retorted. 

“Guys!” Pope yelled, drawing their attention. “Can we focus here, please? I’ve been trying to talk to her all year, and now she’s gonna think I’m an idiot.” 

Kie rolled her eyes. “You’re not an idiot, Pope. It’s one class. Besides, this gives you the perfect opportunity to talk to her, alone.” 

“Exactly,” JJ said. “You’ll make the grade and maybe some action!” 

John B. must’ve noticed the stress clearly painted on Pope’s face. He pushed himself up from the couch and said, “Let’s start with a phone number, okay?” Placing his hands on Pope’s shoulders, he shook him slightly. “You’re overthinking all of this. Just be cool.” 

“Be cool,” Pope repeated, taking in a deep breath. “I can be cool.” 

Cool had varying definitions, but Pope was sure that he missed the mark on every one. He had moved from being nervous about talking to you, to being nervous that his brain couldn’t pick up on simple themes in the novel he had read just the night. He hated being less than perfect in anything school-related because that was his strong suit.

“Are you okay?” you asked, setting down the novel on the tabletop of the quiet beachside picnic table. The sea breeze ruffled the pages of your notebook, prompting you to place a small rock from the parking lot on the corner to keep it down. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. Just…thinkin’ about the book,” he replied half-heartedly. 

Your eyes narrowed for a moment before you reached across the table, gently took the book from his hands, and closed it. “I think you’re too much in your head.” 

Pope laughed, void of amusement. “Isn’t that where I’m supposed to be for this stuff?” 

You shook your head, fingernails tapping against the glossy book cover. “When you overthink it, you second guess your gut, which is usually right. You need to loosen up a little.” 

Pope was wound tightly because, up until that point of his life, it had worked for him. He was the voice of reason, sometimes, for his friends' wack-ass ideas that more often led them into dangerous situations. If he acted too carefree, where would his friends be? They all were shoe-horned into a role and that was his, the tightly wound brainiac who was failing English. 

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Pope said. You smiled, thinking he was joking, but he was dead serious. 

“Come on,” you said, shoving your books into your bag before you slung it over your shoulder. Pope opened his mouth to ask what you were doing, you had agreed to tutor him for another hour. But you lightly pressed your hand over his mouth and said, “Don’t ask questions, just go with it.” 

He followed you, not listening to the troublesome voice in the back of his head. You led him down the beach to the water, where waves lapped in the setting sun. The air was cool but comforting, paired with the sounds of the ocean For a long moment, the two of you just stared out at the water, the sun shimmering over top as the sky was painted an image of melting colors. 

“JJ said you were embarrassed to have a tutor,” you said, breaking the silence like a wave crashing into him. Pope hung his head, his chest tight. 

“A little, if I’m being honest.” 

You nodded in understanding. “You shouldn’t be, you know? You can’t be good at everything.” Your tone caused him to turn his head, meeting your gaze. 

Pope scoffed. “Right. School’s the one thing I’m good at. And clearly I’m not even that good at that.” 

You looked at him bewildered. “You can’t be serious?” He said nothing, very serious. “Please, Pope. You are good in school. If you weren’t Mr. Clemmons wouldn’t brag about your science project every single week that he displays on his desk. Your picture’s still in the hallways because no one has one a national spelling bee since you had. And I’ve seen you surf. I see you helping out your dad, talking to customers like they’re your family members. I know you’re good at fishing and all of your friends seem to love you.” 

Pope felt as hot as the red sun sinking in front of him. His lips parted, but nothing came out for a beat. He could only look at you with a funny feeling wrapping his heart in tangled strings. 

“How do you know all of that?” 

You’re gaze fell onto your feet buried in the sand, suddenly sheepish, but Pope wanted you to look at him again. There was something about your eyes on him that made him feel…nice. Just nice. “I notice you.” You paused, your face scrunching up slightly. “Not in a creepy way. Just in a…an observant way.” 

“You notice me?” Pope repeated, chewing on the words slowly. It was hard for him to put the feeling into words, which may be linked to the fact that his English grade was suffering. He liked the feeling though. He wanted to sink into it a little more and ‘just go with it’ as you had said mere minutes ago. 

You looked back at him, and he felt his lips curl upwards in a small smile. “Yeah. And I’ve always wanted to say something to you, other than asking to borrow a pen, but I always chickened out. Then JJ came up and asked me to tutor you, and I figured that was my shot.” 

Pope didn’t know how to react. The fact that you had wanted to talk to him, maybe not as much as he wanted to talk to you, made his head spin. He felt giddy and like he could throw up at the same time. He had to play it cool, though, as John B. had said. 

“Cool, cool, cool,” he repeated himself, nodding and making himself look very uncool. He then took a deep breath, letting the sea air fill up his lungs. “I noticed you too.” 

Somehow, you smiled even brighter, it shined even in your eyes. He tensed up as you took a step closer, making the distance between the two of you mere inches. Pope could see the finer details of your face he hadn’t noticed before. He realized you could see him up close too. His forehead was sweaty and the way he had sat made his shirt wrinkle. His lack of sleep from worrying about school probably showed in his eyes and he feared the scar across his nose from when Rafe and Topper jumped him was off-putting. 

You tilted your head just slightly and said, “You’re still overthinking things.” Your voice was just above a whisper, carrying across the empty beach by the wind. 

Pope swallowed thickly and shrugged his shoulders. “Habit.” 

Reaching up, your hands smoothed the collar of your shirt, raising goosebumps along his skin. You leaned in and Pope felt like he was going to pass out. But he quickly tried to steel himself and not screw up the position he, by some miracle, found himself in. Despite his racing brain and racing heart, he leaned forward and met your lips in a quick but nice kiss. Your lip gloss tasted like strawberries, and you smelled like sunscreen. 

After you pulled back, resting your arms around his shoulders. All he could mutter was, “Wow.” 

You wiped some of your lip gloss off of the corner of his lip with your thumb. “And that, Pope, is what happens when you follow your gut.” 

He choked out a laugh. “Are you still tutoring me right now?” 

“No,” you replied. “But just really good at my job.” 

As the sun sunk fully into the ocean, Pope felt himself shine in tune with the twinkling stars. He followed his gut again, kissing you for a second time without his own pestering voice in the back of his head. He just heard you and the ocean ringing in his ears. 

[rekino2114]

Someone who cared

Eva tsunaka x gn reader

[Spoilers for p:e.g. chapter 1]

A/n:and here is the Eva fic. I hope you enjoyed cause I really loved writing it. It's the happy ending my girl deserves

You were always Eva's anchor.

Your love for her was what grounded her to reality, what allowed her to keep going on in sleepless nights spent studying, through math competition she didn't even care about and in moments where she only wanted to cry in the shower because of situations she wasn't strong enough to handle, she reminded herself that there was someone who loved her because of who she was and not what everyone else thought she was. That there was a person she could always rely on and trust no matter what happened. You made her smile, a genuine pure smile, ever since your first meeting.

When at 5 years old she looked up from her book to see a person holding an ice cream cone to her

"What?"

"It's ice cream! Oh, it's cookies and cream, if you don't like it I can go change it"

".....do we know each other?"

"No but you just looked like you needed ice cream, standing alone reading isn't that fun"

"............"

"Quick! It's gonna melt!"

"O-oh"

She closed the book and grabbed the cone, giving it a lick before looking at you sitting near her on the bench

"Is it good?"

She just nodded and you smiled at her, a smile that made her feel all weird inside

"Oh! I forgot, mom only gave me 5 dollars to buy ice cream"

You pulled out some coins from your pocket and started counting

"One, two,three fo-"

"It's enough"

"Huh?"

"The ice cream cost 2 dollars,you brought two so it's 4"

"Oh you're fast at numbers"

"It's just math, 2 x 2 is 4 simple multiplication"

".....m-multi-what?"

Your confusion made a small smile appear on her face

"Just go to pay before it melts"

"Yeah ok, by the way, what's your name?"

"Eva, Eva tsunaka"

"Oh that's such a cool name"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm y/n l/n, nice to meet you evie"

"E-evie?"

"It's a nickname, a name friends call you, do you like it?"

".....so we're friends?"

"Yep,....... oh I guess I should ask you, do you wanna be friends?"

In that moment her soul itself answered and she made the second best decision she ever made in her life

"Yeah, I'd like that"

From that moment on you entered her life and changed it for the better.

It turned out you were going to attend the same elementary school, and since you were already friends, you basically always hung out. Well, it was more like you continued to be near her until she let you read with her at recess, but she wouldn't have it any other way, because whenever you were sick she could feel the difference between reading with someone and just standing under a tree while everyone else played in the grass.

".......how do you say that?"

"What?"

"This word"

You pointed at her book

"Oh its-"

"AHHHHHH!"

Your scream alerted her and she turned to towards you to see you crouching and hugging your legs while pointing at a caterpillar

"I-it's a monster"

"It's just an insect"

"B-but aren't they poisony?"

"It's poisonous and no"

Just as she was about to keep reading, she felt something grip her. Her whole face turned red as you hugged her for protection while muttering something about the monster getting closer. The weird feeling came back. It was somewhere above her tummy, and when she talked about it with her parents as they were putting her to bed, they just laughed between each other and muttered something about her first crush. Of course, at the ripe age of 7, she couldn't understand what that was.

It was some time during middle school that she began understanding her true feelings.

"You take everything that doesn't have an x in it and move it to the right. You also need to change their signs, got it?"

"..........w-what?"

"The positive become negative and the opposite"

You tried to write something before fully giving up and putting your hands over your head

"I don't get it, when did letters make their way in math?"

Your study buddy sighed and took a pen, trying to guide you step by step through the homework

"Can we take a break?"

"Not until you figure it out"

"Please, pretty please with a cherry covered in chocolate on top?"

"No"

"Come on please, we can play super slam sisters"

"Hm?"

You grab a controller and look at her with that smile, that smile that made the feeling come back to her, the feeling that she always had when she was near you, just looking at your smile made it impossible to say no

"Ugh, I guess a couple of rounds can't hurt"

"Yay you're the best evie"

You hugged her, and she felt her face flush red again

"Are you OK? You're so red"

"I-i'm fine let's just play"

"I'm gonna destroy you this time"

"We'll see about that"

You paused the game after the fifth time you lost

"So who was gonna destroy me?"

".......ok ok i admit it...you're really good at this"

Your compliment made her heart beat again, but she put the controller down and turned towards you

"Let's continue studying"

You sighed but nodded and sat in front of the desk again

"OK now do you get it?"

"....i-i think so"

You started writing the solution and Eva looked at it before her face turned into one of surprise

"That's correct good job"

"Yay! Now can we take another break, as a reward?"

"We just had one"

".....alright"

You picked up the pen again but this time started looking at the wall deep in thought

"......thank you"

"For what?"

"A lot of things to be honest, but what I'm talking about now is....helping me"

"With math?"

"Yeah among other things"

"It's nothi-"

"No it is something"

You turned to look at her, your eyes locking with her blue ones

"My parents............they can't afford a tutor, so I decided to ask you, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm taking advantage of you, but I just really wanna be with you"

"What do you mean?"

"The high school I wanna go to, it's the same as yours"

"Huh?"

"But if I don't have good grades they won't let me in, and......math is a subject I'm not good at"

You looked silently at her before suddenly holding her hands

"I want to stay with you, you're amazing evie, you're so smart and pretty and awesome, I want you to be in my life. So I promise I'll try my best to get good grades, to be with you"

You still have no idea why you said that, and more importantly you still have no idea how your 14 year old mind still didn't understand that maybe you felt something more than friendship for the back and white haired girl. But if you could go back, you'd say the exact same thing, not only because that's exactly how you felt but also because of what happened during high school.

Eva couldn't handle it anymore, the feeling in her chest she learned to call love was growing more and more with every day you spent together, with every time she had to remind you to pay attention in class and with every afternoon spent studying and playing slam sisters. She felt like her heart could explode if she didn't do something soon.She needed to do something about it.

But what could she do? Confessing would be very risky, if you didn't feel the same, it would have genuinely destroyed her, not only because you wouldn't be dating but mostly because she knew that no matter how much you tried to fix things and play it off as if nothing happened, your friendship would have never been the same, it would have all felt so awkward and uncomfortable and it would have probably been better to just end your friendship before it became even worse.

She could not handle that. You were her best friend. Her............only friend.

But she also knew better than anyone that if she didn't confess, someone else probably would and seeing you hanging out and kissing someone else while knowing that if she had just been braver that could have been her, would have destroyed her even more.

So she decided to act on valentine's day of your second year of high school.

"So what's with the chocolates?"

Your sudden question makes Eva spit her water

"W-what are you talking about?"

You pulled out the chocolate box with the letter inside

"Only you would do something like this"

You showed her the note which simply said "128√e980"

You unfolded the letter showing that the equation spelled "I love you"

"The chocolate are also my favorite flavors, but the note is the obvious part"

".........I know it's stupid but-"

"It's not stupid, it's pretty cool actually, even if it did take me a while to understand eheh"

Eva looked away embarrassed but quickly grew even more flustered when you held her hands

"But I want you to tell me that you love me"

"I-i just did-"

"No, I want Eva tsunaka to tell me that she loves me, not the mathlete that everyone thinks you are, tell me with your own words, the ones from the bottom of your heart, not numbers. then I can accept"

Eva started sweating, for what reason she doesn't know, maybe her cheeks got so hot that they actually started burning, but she calmed herself and took a deep breath before speaking

"Y-you make my heart beat, I feel all weird when I'm with you, I just want to smile and hug you for no reason, ever since we were kids, I now know what that is, I love you, I can 100% say I love you"

You smiled brightly, and she couldn't help but smile too. You always had this effect on her. She just couldn't help but feel happy with you.

"I love you too, evie, you're the best girl I ever met, and I wanna be with you forever"

You suddenly kissed her, it was a very soft and short kiss, but it still succeeded in making her blush even more than anything that happened before, but still she wanted to feel like this more so she kissed back. And with that she officially became your girlfriend.

She can confidently say that confessing to you was the best decision she ever made. Simply because the years where you two were together were the best of her life.

It was the small things you did for her, those things that made her feel seen and special, something like buying her something for breakfast when she didn't have to eat because she was busy studying, or just listening to her rant about a new ARG she helped solve on the internet.

Even the more embarrassing things like showing up to one of her math competition with a whole banner with a bad but admittedly really cute drawing of her face and her name written with a heart while yelling:

"YEAHHHH! THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND EVERYONE! SHE'S SUPER SMART, DESTROY EVERYONE ELSE EVIE!!!"

Sure, it made her want to die in the moment, but she would definitely be lying if she said it didn't warm her heart knowing that you cared so much about her and about her winning a competition even she didn't really care about

Just like your reaction to her getting her ultimate warmed her heart.

She hated being the ultimate mathlete. The utp just gave her this title without regard to who she really was and who she wanted to be, and she ranted to you about exactly that while cuddling. You just wrapped your arms around her and started comforting her

"Listen, I don't care what others say about you, or what they expect of you, to me you're Eva tsunaka, the amazing girl that i feel in love with, I couldn't care less about your ultimate,that doesn't define you to me and it shouldn't to anyone else. I love you because you're you ok evie?"

She felt her heart beating even faster than when you kissed her. Your words made her feel understood and so, so loved. She really needed someone like you

While she hated her talent, she couldn't deny that the fact that she was glad to have it if only because the utp gave you one too, and you would be attending eden's garden academy together.

"Are you OK evie? You look nervous"

She took a deep breath and sat on the bench in the train station

"......yeah, I guess I'm just worried about what people are gonna think about me"

"You mean your talent?"

She nodded as you sat on her right and held her hand

"If people pick on you because you're good at math, then that just means they're stupid and can't handle that someone is prettier and smarter than them"

"Hehe......thanks, but that's now what I meant"

"I know......then just get to know them"

"Huh?"

"If you get to know more people than they'll know the real you, the amazing girl you really are"

"............"

"Eva listen, I'm saying this as your partner and with nothing but your best interests in mind. I think you need more friends"

".....d-don't-"

"Or at least people to talk to, I know you have me, but I'm scared that I'm not enough, I want you to be happy, ok? So please, at least try, I don't care if you fail, but at least try to let people know that you're not just a mathlete, but a genuinely wonderful person"

Eva sighed and you kissed her cheek for comfort

"........I'll try my best"

"That's what I like to hear. Now get up and grab your luggage the train is almost here"

After the train arrived, you walked in it hand in hand, seeing all the faces of your future classmates. Little did you know that that train was gonna be the boat that would bring you to hell.

You knew Eva was lying about her talent. You knew from the moment the words ultimate liar slipped from her mouth, and you also knew exactly the reason why, she had told you why not that long ago after all. And you respected her choice. You didn't even need to talk to each other to make an agreement, with only a single glance she knew you would protect her secret as long as necessary.

The announcement of the killing game and the mock trial felt like a blur, you helped investigate, mostly convinced by your girlfriend, but you still couldn't believe it, sure the body was just a puppet but it was the recreation of a real murder, someone was killed so brutally, it made you.....sick.

And when the killing game was officially started that sickness spread over your entire body, will someone of your classmates be killed in such a brutal way? Will you? ......will Eva?

When Wolfgang started to speak, you wanted to say something. Sure, it was nice to think that no one was going to murder each other, but you knew it was impossible. You only started to talk when everyone singled out Eva and Damon for speaking their mind. You defended them, obviously. You told them that Eva was right, and even if it was a harsh truth, it still was the truth. After being judged because of that you just hugged Eva and you two went to sleep in her dorm.

The day the infirmary was revealed, Eva's true ultimate was too. You couldn't do anything but the exact same thing you had been doing this entire time, comfort Eva and try to counter your classmates' comments directed at her. You hugged her again, and you could feel how heavy and tired she was, even if she didn't want to let you know, everything that happened was weighing heavily in her mind.

"C-can you come with me?"

"Huh?"

You opened your eyes and looked down at Eva. She was still hugging you, but her eyes were now locked on yours

"Sure"

She guided you to a point in the infirmary and pointed at something

"A......plushie advertisement?"

"Yes, I already showed it to damon"

"......d-do you want me to buy it?"

"H-huh?"

"I thought you already had a plush-"

She blushed and quickly shut you up

"N-no it's not the plushie, it's a code"

"Oh for the door?"

"Duh"

"Did you figure it out yet?"

"...........no"

For the second time in the game, she lied

"Oh, I see, it's alright if you don't, these kidnappers seem really smart"

"........yeah"

"Well, me and Diana wanted to eat together. Do you wanna join us?"

"No it's fine, I'll go take a nap"

"That's understandable after everything that happened, love you"

"Yeah"

You kissed her cheek and started to go outside but stopped and looked back

"Hey Eva?"

"Hm"

"Can I.....tell you something?"

She nodded and you started approaching her

"..........I'm scared"

"Huh?"

"I'm scared that I'll die, that you'll die and that I couldn't do anything about it.....so can you at least promise me something?"

".......o-of course, what is it?"

You put your pinky in the air

"Let's make it a pinky promise"

"......seriously?" That's so dumb"

"Come on, just do it"

She sighed and intertwined her own pinky with yours

"Let's promise each other that we'll never kill someone"

"W-what?"

"I can't do anything if someone decides to kill you, I can only hope no one does, but if you kill someone, then you'll most likely die..........and if you don't-"

"Then you'll die, with everyone else"

"Yeah, so let's promise that we'll never kill anyone, so our chances of survival increase"

The next words she said were the third best choice she did in her life because, like her confession and acceptance of your friendship, her own soul spoke unfiltered by her brain or other emotions

"..........yes, I promise"

"Great! It's a pinky promise, remember. So if you break it your pinki will fall"

She giggled

"I think that will be the last of my concerns if I kill someone"

"Hehe, Yeah I guess you're right"

You kissed Eva on the cheek and went outside, waving at her. She waved back as her smile faded, she looked at her pinky.... and went to her dorm.

She couldn't handle it anymore, the thoughts were eating up her mind, she was going to die, everyone hated her, of course she was going to be the first victim, she would die.......so she needed to do something about it.

She wiped her tears with her sleeve and put her glasses back on, went to the infirmary and found herself face to face with the door.

She imputed the first two numbers automatically almost as if her body moved itself, she was about to imput the third when she actually started thinking

What did she want to gain by going in that room? She didn't even know what was on the other side..........was she just curious?

No, she knew. She knew that whatever she was gonna find would seal her fate, that it would force her to kill someone.......force

It's funny that she used that words in her thoughts, force, like she didn't already knew who to kill and how to do it, like she didn't already know who to frame and how to act in the class trial, like she didn't already look through the infirmary to see if there were hallucinogenics.

She inputted the third number and took a moment to breathe, her hand on her chest.

When she was about to move her finger in the direction of the last panel, she noticed something.

The floor was wet.

She looked down and saw that her shirt was too, not by much, it was when she brushed her hand against her cheek that she realized where the water was coming from.

She was crying.

How did she not realize it all this time? Why was she sad? She had already decided her fate, was she scared of getting found out and dying? she had nothing to live for anyway, everyone in this damn academy hated her, she was going to die anyway and no one was going to care about it, they weren't going to investigate how she died and the person who killed her would probably be cheered as they got executed. There was no one who cared about her, just like in her entire life.......no one cared about the true her.

Her finger grazed the fourth number when she remembered something

"Let's promise that we'll never kill someone"

"I love you because you're you ok evie?"

As soon as those words entered her mind, she just fell down on her knees, her body unable to hold the weight of her conscience anymore. She started crying, this time knowing exactly why.

She was going to betray you. She was willing to let you die just because of something that wasn't even true. You cared about her, the real her, you would have cried if she died, and you would have felt betrayed if she killed someone. You loved her, and she betrayed that love by even thinking about committing the murder. She didn't deserve you, she needed to say sorry to your face.

When she finished crying, she immediately went to your dorm, the knocking woke you up, and you were confused to see that Eva was no longer in bed with you. You were worried, considering that you decided to bunk together, so you carefully opened part of the door and saw it was your girlfriend, you saw that her eyes were red so your worry grew even more, you completely opened the door and Eva immediately tackled you in a hug.

"E-eva, what's-"

"I'm *sobs* so sorry, I'm so so sorry"

You could see she started crying crying, so you held her close and started comforting her, not caring about the tears getting on your shirt.

When she calmed down, she sat on the bed and started explaining everything to you, about how everything was getting to her and drove her to think about killing someone. She expected you to hate her. She was one step away from betraying you and throwing away her life, you were very justified to hate her, to break up with her, as much as she didn't want that to happen.....because then she would have been truly alone.

But you hugged her instead, and told her that it was OK, that the fact that she didn't go through was what mattered, that you would always be there for her, no matter what happened

"N-no you- you don't understand!"

She continued sobbing between words

"I-I was about to kill someone, to break our promise! I was ready to throw away your life because of this game!"

"......................"

"W-why did you forgive me so fast!? Why don't you hate me!?"

"........I could never hate you"

"H-huh?"

"I love you Eva I love you so much, I already told you so many times, I know that in a normal situation you'd never do something like this, I don't hate you, I hate tozu and this game, because I've seen the real you, and the real Eva is a girl that would never commit a murder, I feel in love with you and I could never hate you. I love you Eva, please remember that"

Eva wanted to say something more, but she just felt so tired. She had cried and felt too many emotions for a day, so she just thanked you and held onto your body as you two drifted to sleep.

The next day, she woke up feeling better. The night spent thinking about the situation and waking up next to you made her realize how lucky she was to have you and that she should hold on to you and love you just as much as you did.

After talking it over and getting ready, you two went to the dining room where Cassidy told you she had found a copy of super slam sisters and asked you to participate in a tournament.

"Oh, you love that game, eva . Do you wanna participate together?"

"I.........."

She looked at you smiling so brightly at her........and smiled back

"Yeah, I think having fun is what I need"

"Great! So we have all the couples, get ready cause it will be a blast!"

When the game tournament started, you held Eva's hand as you two watched the other students play.

"OK now it's Eva's and y/n's turn"

"Get ready evie, because this time I'll win!"

She rolled her eyes as she took the controller

"You always say that"

She ended up winning very easily but offered you a kiss as a consolation prince

"Wow that was insane Eva, how did you do that?"

"Oh, it's not that hard. You just have to watch your opponent and move accordingly"

"You gotta teach me that, you might even be able to beat me! Let's train together sometimes, Please?"

"H-huh?"

"And then we could do your make-up, I wanted to hang out with you......i-if you'd like"

"I.....don't think I'd look good with make-up"

She felt you putting your arm on her shoulder

"I think you'd look amazing in any way"

You smiled again and she felt her heart getting warm, not just at you but at the situation in general, she felt seen and understood, and it was all thanks to you, she's so glad she remembered you yesterday.

She looked back at her pinky and then at you, suddenly you felt Eva's arms wrap around you to the surprise of everyone in the room. She simply murmured two words

"Thank you"

You knew exactly why she thanked you, so you just hugged her back until she pulled away and looked at you again.

You cared about her, the real her, you loved her despite everything and she could never imagine a world without you, she could never imagine what she would have done if you weren't there, if you didn't enter her life.

She was so, so glad to have you.

[dolcekissy]

chapter 1; summer blues

ׂ╰┈➤ a series | in which, rafe used to be your best friend but everything went south once the pogues began their treasure hunting journey. you try everything in your power to fix him, everything. will he eventually come back down to earth and listen? or will he destroy you, just like he's destroying his life?

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ main masterlist | summer blues masterlist

bunny!reader x bsf!rafe masterlist

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There was a time you and Rafe were best friends. There was a time you spent all of your time with him and ninety percent of the time you both always got in trouble. There would be countless unread texts from your parents asking where you were. They knew you were always with Rafe and it drove them absolutely nuts.

Your mom used to be a pogue, she married into rich and that’s how you moved to the outer banks in the first place. She fell pregnant with you fresh out of highschool with an older man she had been screwing. She once lived the same life all of the pogues lived when she was a teen, her parents hated her, hated the life she lived and she sought out the affection and attention she so desperately craved.

Which led to your existence, obviously. You’ve met your biological dad once, you never really cared for him and he never really cared for you. But when your mom married your now step father, your life changed. The man's name is Doug, you love Doug and Doug loves you. He moved you and your mom to the Outer Banks when you were 6 years old, right around the time you were first beginning school.

You and your mom loved the change, you still do. To live by the water, wearing bathing suits, and playing in the backyard everyday was so fun as a little girl and it still is. It was different to be in a completely different atmosphere with a new man, but you were too little to even notice or have any ill feelings towards the new routines and living space.

Starting elementary school in a new state, with new people was nerve racking but didn’t scare you. Your mom always told you that you were bright, happy, caring, loving ever since you were a baby – so this was no issue to you. During your first few weeks you met a lot of your classmates, making your first few friends and having your first few playdates. You rode the bus to school everyday, your mom and stepdad waving and blowing kisses as you happily waved goodbye back. Always being so happy and bright and wearing your bright colored dresses and t-shirts is what brought Rafe’s attention towards you.

He would always tell you how much he liked your bright orange shirt or your bright pink light up sketchers. You’d always give him the brightest smile, twirling your soft locks that were in high pigtails and thank him and that’s when you and Rafe became inseparable. Every morning and every afternoon you sat together on the bus, having funny and friendly conversations on your way to school and back.

It was the same routine all throughout elementary school, middle school, and the start of highschool. The memories you shared together were so special and sacred to you – they always would be, always will be. He was your best friend, the person you told everything to, the person you trusted the most. Until he changed one summer. He wasn’t the same Rafe you became best friends with, wasn’t the same Rafe you told all of your secrets to, he wasn’t Rafe.

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He had always treated you how a best friend would, until he just stopped. It started when he noticed the way Ward treated him compared to Sarah, he started doing coke and basically losing his mind. You had begged him to stop multiple times, he had promised you to stop multiple times but he obviously broke his promises. You didn’t want him to kill himself over his addiction, you’d cry and beg him to stop so much it got to the point Rafe started offering you some to just shut you up.

You knew the addiction wouldn’t stop so you slowly gave up – wincing every time you saw him snort a line, watching his eyes roll back for a moment and his thumb swipe over his nose as he smiled and jumped up like he was ready to conquer the world or some corny shit. It broke your heart seeing him lose himself, your Rafe - your best friend losing himself to an addiction. You watched him snort lines and flirt with coke whores at parties, sitting by his side like usual as he ignored you and counted money as people snorted lines in front of you two.

When you two went to parties you normally sat on the same couch, ignoring everyone else and getting drunk together – laughing and eyeballing the weirdos and the people throwing up on the floors and in the bushes. But now it was just so different, he was different.

You sat on his bed, your phone laid on your chest, the tik tok video you were watching paused as you listened to Rafe and Ward argue. He’d stomp into the room, fresh tears staining his cheeks as he would pace back and forth, running a shaky hand through his hair. You would try to ask what happened, are you okay, anything and his response would always be ‘shut the fuck up!’ or ‘dude, just get out!’. You were always left crying and riding your bike back home and of course your mom was yelling at you for being out late, just to top everything off.

You were constantly sending him texts asking to hangout to take his mind off of everything, help him relax, just something but his response was always ‘no’. After some time your texts began to go unread, ignored, not even being looked at – it broke your heart so you stopped asking. The only times you hung out with him were if he had invited you, ninety percent of the time he was just drunk or high and needed you to just tag along – just for you to be ignored the whole time, or course.

It was draining, obviously. You were tired of pretending to be happy around him, laughing to yourself as you talked about something while he wasn’t even paying attention to you. Tired of pretending to not be hurt by watching him lose himself just because he told you to shut up and stop talking about it. You were tired of it all, so you backed off of him. You didn’t respond as much now, you would tell him you were too busy to tag along with him to a random ass party. He didn’t notice it for a while, he didn’t care.

Until he did.

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chapter 2

[koolades-world]

hello sorry if your requests are closed pls feel free to ignore this if they are :(

i just got this nice idea and wanted to share it and maybe you could do hc idkkkk anywayy !!

so imagine a mc but they're a poc (black, asian, whatever) and they always felt kinda like an outcast in the human world bc they lived in a white neighbourhood and now they're in the devildom and... wow Mammon, Simeon, Mephisto ?! (and maybe Dia and Raphael too cuz they can be mixed or something)

Like I am japanese and I live in europe and in my whole life I've interacted with like 3 or so poc ?? That's sooo little! I would be overjoyed to meet people (demons) that aint white- there is some common experience shared with all poc and i just need that 'bound' with someone lool

Anyway sorry this kinda sounded like a rant by the end but yea! even if you don't do it its ok! Have a nice day and ily !/p ♡

hello!! of course :)

i only moved once when i was younger but both neighborhoods were predominantly white, and i don’t think I’ve ever had a close poc friend that wasn’t an online friend. in middle and elementary i was one of like three or four pocs. high school was better but since I was a magnet kid, i always saw the same people and they were majority white. I’m almost certain I was the only mixed one in that program

bottom line, i can relate haha

enjoy <3

Poc Mc and the poc boys

poc solidarity!

of course the first demon you see is Diavolo, and while you don’t trust him right off the bat because you’ve just been basically abducted for this program, it’s nice to see a poc in charge

since mammon is assigned your caretaker, of course you’re quick to form a friendship

when he learns about your childhood since that comes up at some point, he goes oddly silent and listens carefully when you tell your stories

eventually he himself opens up a little about what it was like in heaven and his experience

gonna break format for a minute, simeon and I would be such good friends, besties even. a writer, very kind, a great baker and cook, a great fashion sense, and he looks like me? omg sign me up we’re twins. there is such a thing as two pretty best friends lol

simeon is so naturally effortless but sweet, so it wasn't hard to become his friend

he's more than happy to help you where ever needed

after you get over the whole kidnapping thing, you become fast friends with dia because he's just so wonderful to be around

and he's more than happy to be your friend because the poor guy doesn't have enough. he'll take you to do all sorts of fun stuff and even if your pictures together end up everywhere online, he doesn't care

you also are a little reluctant to warm up to mephisto because of what lucifer had said about him, but diavolo spoke highly of him, so you spent a couple afternoons with him

and you found yourself very interested in him and the rad newspaper, left wondering why lucifer hated him so much

if you want, you're more than welcome to help out and of course receive credit where credit is due

it was also kind of intimidating to get close to raphael too since he seemed so tough and unapproachable, but he was actually great to have a late night talk with and helped you out with any kind of fashion dilemma

maybe the devildom isn't so bad after all...

[prettyboykatsuki]

https://www.tumblr.com/prettyboykatsuki/772075315170344960/what-self-indulgent-idea-is-this-time-twin

Not self indulgent if I want to hear what you have to have to say so fucking bad… You’re indulging ME now bestie

linky link

its just so .. like LISTEN.

like. walk with me. but you're basically like. isagis childhood neighbor right. he's a few years older than you by then you too. like you're in elementary and he's in middle school. one of these days you're in a fight with other older kids (and they're kicking your ass) and isagi gets in the way and pulls his whole like tsk tsk what r u doing bullying a kid younger than u shtick and the kids then run away

and from that he tries to walk u home and u basically idolize him and he just. figures you're a little boy. like u have a gender neutral ish nickname and u dress in boardhosrts and big shirts and its hard to tell and plus you always rough house with isagi. you just have a Rough personality in general and u call him aniki which he finds funny.

and for the few years ur in the same neighborhood ur basically always with him and he never figures it out. ur in his room and he teaches u to play soccer (u prefer baseball at that point) and u spend all of ur time in his room even when he's in exams etc.

i think u move like,, just as he gets into highschool. far enough away that he doesnt see u again for years and years.

and then when he's in his mid twenties he comes back to his hometown and subsequently So Do You.

you've been moved in for a while and his mom had told him that before once in passing but isagis spent a long time playing in germany so he hadnt thought about it until he comes back and his mom is like. oh u should go visit them and say hi and isagi is fondly like aw yeah i wonder how that kid grew up.

and so . u know. he goes over. plans to say to your mom. is curious about how u grew up cause he hasnt kept in touch at all. yk.

and then. he goes over and a woman answers the door. and hes like ....?

but before he even gets to ask, you positively light up. like BEAMING. and you go "aniki? is that you?"

?!. isagi is in shock. he literally is like. What. Huh. but like. that voice. that face. like you look the same but the years have softened you out, made your features more... idk... he feels wrong saying girly but ? maybe thats it.

and the way you talk is EXACTLY the same. rife with slang, kind of rude, clearly picked up some gyaru slang while u were away but you're not exactly dressed that. u have boobs now and isagi is . short circuiting. and he says your name and FUCKKK your smile is exactly the same. like the same toothy almost silly vibe about you.

you invite him in like nothings changed and for u it probably hasnt. but he's literally malfunctioning trying to keep up. bc its YOU. like it is. you're the same kid he remembers messing with his soccer ball in his room and frowning at the stuff he studied for his highschool entrance exams. and those few years between u then felt like so much but youre both adults now.

its so disorienting. isagi really loved you even when you were kids. obviously it wasnt like That then. more like u were a fond, distant memory of his childhood that he can appreciate looking back. u have siblings but isagi didnt so it was less lonely with u around since he was an only child.

and he was looking forward to reconnecting, really!! he had all these plans about going to play soccer with you and asking if you had a girlfriend. but . But . what !!!!!!!!

he doesnt say anything i think. but you do insist he takes you down to the 7/11 to get snacks like when you were kid, and you make the same cheeky comment about making him pay since he's older and he's rich now and isagi gets the most doki-doki lovesick as feeling and almost passes away because no!!!!!!! why is he feeling that for you!!!!!!

internally he's yelling at himself but he does do it anyway bc he still likes making u happy. its familiar and warm and you end with your legs stretched out in a loose hoodie sharing chips and a drink and you're like,, smiling so familiar about old memories and the feeling just keeps Being there persistently. and he's like stop that rn!!!! he cannot!!!! for many reasons!!!!!!!

bc it feels weird since he rmbs u as kids but also bc it feels unfair to only be thinking of u this way now that he knows. and after he spends all evening with you he Resolves himself to not pursue anything while he stays with his parents.

(but how well does that resolve hold up when he begins to Notice your rather obvious feelings for him?)

[crushedsweets]

Do you have any headcanons of Lyra and Toby’s relationship?

this has been in my inbox for like over a week by now because this is a big task in my head. i will focus more on the family itself, but obviously the siblings r there.

ROGERS FAMILY HCS UNDER THE CUT... tw for abuse and addiction, of course

ok. WE'RE GETTING PERSONAL HERE. im the eldest daughter of 3 so the way in which i project into older siblings is insane. ive also had an addict father(no where near like frank though let me clarify) so in general . . the story.. makes me feel very...... basically their relationship is very personal to me.

lyra is about 2-3 years older than toby.

frank's dad was in the vietnam war, his grandparents were in wwii, his grandparents in wwi, etc. so he went into military service right after marrying connie. for a long while, he was SUPER military strict. those kids were up, made their bed, and down for chores by 6am everyday. he made them do military time rather than civilian time. he was incredibly traditional, expected a perfectly clean household, a polite soft daughter, a strong bold son, perfect wife. he wanted the 1950s nuclear family model. so toby and lyra grew up in a very clean, strict, traditional household.

in my au, frank wasnt outright abusive until the kids were around 8-11. it was after he developed his addictions and lost his job. the kids really didnt understand what was changing at first, and legitimately were like 'omg dad isnt making us wake up at 5am everyday..... this is so cool'.

theyd start having sleepovers in eachothers room, slacking a bit on chores, going to sleep late, sleeping in. toby didnt develop his tourettes until he was around 7, so lyra and toby would walk home from their elementary school together. sometimes, theyd walk another friend home first, stop at convenience stores to get candy, pet a cat, etc. frank didnt say a thing for the first few months, just drunken grumbles along connies worried 'WHERE HAVE U BEEN'. if they weren't walking around the area, they were in the backyard playing soccer.

eventually the abuse began, and all of those little freedoms were quickly stripped from the kids.

toby developing tourrettes around this time was a painful coincidence, because not only did he experience abuse at home, but awful bullying at school. he was promptly pulled out after completing 3rd grade. he was only 8.

lyra would practically run home from school everyday, as fast as a 12 year old girl with a backpack could manage, just because she spent all 7 hours in school worrying about toby at home. connie had to start working to pay bills, so..

when toby was around 11 and lyra was around 13, toby started kinda just. being more distant. he was kind of a dick to lyra for a period of time, half because of everything he was going through, half because puberty is rough. his room started getting messy, lyra had to start picking up chores he was slacking on , etc. lyra isnt perfect and began to resent toby for this, and eventually, the two were kinda at eachothers throats for like 6 months. which isnt a lot, but for kids, its an eternity.

when franks abuse evolved from ''just'' verbal abuse, to shoves, to slaps, to full on beatings, toby started egging frank on. just to get him off of lyra and connie. obviously he couldnt feel it, and while it sure took a fucking mental toll, it was so much easier to just wait it out rather than listen to the girls cry.

lyra didnt even realize toby was doing this for a while, she just thought it was all part of him going through his little hormonal asshole phase, until one day frank made a fucked up comment about 'youre lucky that boy is always causing trouble. was supposed to be you'. then it kinda clicked and she very quickly tried to fix their relationship back to what it was.

frank eventually scared connie so badly that there'd be periods of time where she'd take the kids in the middle of the night, and run off to either her parents place, or even a random hotel in another city. she'd use cash, force the kids to keep their phones at home, leave literally everything behind and often make the kids pick out new toothbrushes at a random walmart. etc. it would only last a few days each time, and lyra fought so hard to stay strong while her mom cried and toby closed himself off.

she'd try to get toby to come to the hotel pools with her, try to get him to watch tv with her, try to get him to just fucking talk to her. he was often catatonic during these little runaways, once the confusion adrenaline and fear wore off

it wasnt until they went around a month without seeing their father, and frank had some weird fucking. 'those are MY kids too' thing and went to connie's parents house while all the adults were out, and forced the kids back home. this was the first time lyra was full on sobbing and begging and pleading in years. that was what shifted something in toby, too.

now tobys 13, lyras 15, and theyre on better footing. theyre starting to understand eachother. tobys back on keeping up with chores, knowing that either him lyra or connie was going to get beat if they were missed. sometimes he'd just silently come into lyras room and lay down and watch tv with her. they'd talk about books, about school, their trust was built right back up and toby ended up being the first to know about lyras school drama, gossip, boys, etc.

toby wasn't really socialized properly, since he's been homeschooled for 6 years by now. all the time, he'd hear lyras stories, and wish he could go to school. his mom would be horrified anytime toby asked, because all she could remember was her sweet boy coming home and crying into her arms after a day of being mocked and pushed around by peers.

so he began to live through lyra, in a sense ? he almost became a diary for lyra, and he kinda loved it. she was like a sitcom to him.

frank wasnt a good father by any means during this period, he was still awful, but he wasn't constantly looking for trouble. the kids kept to themselves, connie did everything she was expected to, he didnt give a shit about their grades or social lives. he couldn't even recgonize when lyra was coming home late.

lyra got her license the second she turned 16. the house had two cars, and its not like frank was ever going anywhere, so she was always going everywhere. she adored the freedom, and took toby wherever he'd let her. he only really left the house if he was going grocery shopping with his mom or something, so it was kinda weird now that he was just. going to malls. going to restaurants. going to parks. just Hanging Out. every now and again he'd stick around when Lyra was with her friends, but he didn't like them so it was rare.

sometimes theyd just drive together for a long time. at night, she was the one to take him to every hospital visit, she even got him to volunteer at a pet shelter she worked at for a bit. 3 years and they become so close again, and lyra is tobys best friend. she's his entire world because who else does he have ? he loves his mom, but she's married to the man he hates more than anything

toby was 16 and lyra was 18 when frank strangled toby till he passed out. thats finally when connie kicked frank out, forcing frank to go live on his moms couch. lyra was mortified and started spending an absurd amount of time with toby. she took online community college courses just so she could spend even more time with toby, and it didnt hurt to do so since frank wasnt there anymore. things were getting better for the family, frank was gone, lyra was in college, connie was working, toby was volunteering at shelters and even had a few acquaintances he'd talk to now and again.

lyra picked toby up from the shelter he volunteered at when the accident happened.

lyra and connie had matching silver necklaces with a circle pendant that had their initials. toby didnt cuz frank would get pissed if toby tried wearing jewelry, but when lyra died, toby immediately clung to it. he wears it religiously. the only time he takes it off is if he knows he's going to kill someone that day. otherwise, its always on him.

lyra died and was buried in colorado. toby lives in alabama now. so he really doesnt visit her grave often. only on her birthday, he'll scramble together some money and get brian, tim, and kate to agree to cover his uh. 'shifts' with slenderman, and take a few loooonnnggg train rides over to colorado.

he'll leave two bouquets of flowers. one for lyra, one for connie.

connie just feels in her heart that its toby. she has no reason to believe it, they've never bumped into eachother (toby's visiting at like 2am and falls asleep near the grave for a few hours), but she knows nobody else whos visiting lyras grave and leaving two sets of the same flowers.

toby and lyras childhood home was put on sale shortly after it was reconstructed from the fire, and connie moved in with her sister. lyras bedroom door was the only one that was shut and left unscathed after the fire (legitimately keep your doors shut if you ever have a housefire it can save entire bedrooms and even lives). the rest of the house was ruined, but not lyras room. connie kept every single one of her belongings, but she's put some photos out on the grave. tobys taken them, and connie believes it was him. again, she has no reason to believe it other than the flowers and 'why would someone take a photo of my dead daughter.'

anyway hi. in tears. i love them. sorry. i just retell their story over and over and get sad everytime

[writesforfun]

childhood friends, a Mark Lee Fiction.

angst, fluff, mark is sooo mark-coded here(?), you and mark are friends since birth, neighbor mark, 2k words

Being Mark Lee's bestfriend at the mere age of 0 was a blessing— some people would say now.

He's handsome, that you admit. He's been this guy that's just popular for no reason at all. He's handsome, good in everything he sets his mind at, and don't forget the fact that Mark, although shy and doesn't really have that much of a close friend, is just simply very kind to everyone he meets.

You thought you would lose him when you two were in elementary and middle school— cause he was that popular. Everyone wanted to play and be friends with him, and you thought he would forget you. Which Mark definetely prooved it to be nonsense, cause he sat and stayed with you every day without failure. When you asked why, Mark just simply shrugged it off by saying, "What do you mean why? We're friends!"

So here you are. Both of you are grown-ups, you will be turning 24 at December and Mark had already hit that age in August.

It's now September.

"Y/N! What you thinking?" He holds your hand tight, smiling— nah, come to think of it, he didn't smile. It's a grin. The Mark Lee™ signature grin.

You come to your senses. Today, you're gonna go to an ice cream shop with Mark and then you two are gonna make some popcorn and watch movies at your house.

"Sorry. I was thinking of us during elementary school."

He puts on a shock expression. "Daaaaamn dude. That was such a looong time agooooo!"

You laugh and shake your head, grabbing his hands so that you can pull him to his Tesla so that he would start driving.

"What? Yo I'm serious! When you said that I felt it in my stomach that like.. yooo that was a long ass time ago," He said. You ruffle his hair, ignoring his sound of protest. "You're saying things that doesn't need any further explanations. As a friend, I'm helping you so that both of us wouldn't waste time and hurry up."

Mark rolled his eyes with a smile on his face, opening up his car door for you first and then for him. You felt your heart skip four beats or something and then ignore them for the nth time.

Don't care about your feelings, Y/N. You said to yourself. Yes, you do have an immense crush— no, no. Yes, you do love him since middle school, but that doesn't matter. What matters the most is your friendship. And you would never want to ruin that.

Seeing Mark spend Valentine's Day with someone else at college hurted you like crazy. He always used to spend it together with you, but at college, he spent it with his now ex-girlfriend. They broke up after a year of dating, and a year of your suffering basically. You try to distance yourself then, but Mark just quite simply won't accept distancing as friendship. He visited your house basically everytime, and he picks you up although you gotta third wheel him and his girlfriend.

There was no drama between you and his ex though. His ex have always been nice, and you two still talk via DM sometimes. You know, replying stories and stuff.

"Y/N! I was asking a question, dude," He said, putting his hand your thighs and squeezing them gently. Things he did as a simple caring gesture since you know him.

"Sorry. I was thinking of my homework. What did you ask?" You lied, gritting your teeth before looking at his gawkingly handsome face. You just wanna kiss that smile off his— nevermind.

"I was thinking, maybe instead of rewatching Mean Girls we could just watch Doctor Strange? I've been dying to watch the Multiverse of Madness thingy, I haven't watch that."

You nod. "I haven't too. We're so lame! That's a disrespect to Marvel,"

He laughs, turning the bluetooth volume to a solid 38, making you both hear Taylor Swift's Labyrinth clearly. The bluetooth is connected to your phone, and Taylor Swift is your favorite singer. You introduce her to Mark and he basically just listen to it with you like the good person he is. You brag to Karina and Ningning all the time that he's a trained Swiftie.

But this song.. this song, you relate to a lot. It's about a realization of being in love, and considering your situation, you relate to it a lot.

You don't really believe in good man and love until you realize you love him. Your dad.. he failed to set example of a man when your family caught him cheating during your elementary school years and even going as far as marriage with the person he's cheating with. Your mom forgived him and they're still together— but the trauma you went through was unexplainable. Since then, your relationship with your dad has been different. His voice sounds annoying as hell and every thing he do, you nitpick and hate. Mark has always been there for you though, he even spent all his savings during elementary school to buy you new toys and ice cream.

You know and believe that Mark is a good guy. Every thing he does have always been positive and his mind never fails to make you fascinated.

"Oh God, why are the Halloween decorations have already been put up?" You ask when you both arrive at the ice cream shop you always go together with. It's a 17 minute drive from both of your house, which is in front of each other.

"Better late than never, Y/N. Let's go," He says, opening his door before opening up yours and opening the door for you.

He ordered a watermelon and vanilla ice cream, which you hated and teased him with since forever. You think that's a weird combination and his love for watermelon should never be brought to an ice cream flavor. You ordered a Lotus Biscoff ice cream, and he have a lot of protests for that as well but whatever. Biscoff for life.

"Do you wanna eat it here or in the car?" He ask. "I don't know. How are you gonna eat it if we're gonna eat in the car?" You ask him again instead of answering his question.

"You can just feed me, I guess." He answers nonchalantly, like it's something normal in a friendship. The blur of lines are making you wanna die, and sometimes you just think to yourself whether or not distancing yourself from Mark is a better option.

"Alright then. Let's eat in the car, whatever," You say. As much as you hate to admit it, you wouldn't really pass on feeding him. Both of you had feed each other since middle school anyway.

Coming home from watching Doctor Strange with Mark, you realize that your feelings for Mark is just growing bigger every day, and you finally decide that you can't do this anymore.

Come on, Mark Lee simply would never look at you more than friends, right?

So you decide to ignore his presence. You ignore all his texts, and even when Mark came to your house and ask for your presence, you had already ask your Mom who knows your crush towards him to tell him that you're not in the house.

You usually go to your work place with Mark cause you and him work only 2,4km away from each other. So whenever he picks you up, you were already gone. It's for the best. You miss him a lot but you realize you'd rather lose him now than losing him to a girl he'll marry later. You can't imagine being her bridesmaid and be happy for them though you're dying.

His nth phone call of the day you ignore without failure today as well. It's been a month of ignoring him and you're kind of used to the feeling of a scratch in your heart whenever you hear his dissapointed and sad voice downstairs. Your phone vibrates, and you see his third message for you today.

markie 🐆🦁

Y/N it's been a month. i don't know what i did to you but i know you're ignoring me. whats uppp? please answer me. please. i can't afford to lose you.

And there it is again. Your heart hurts like crazy. But whatever. Just sleep through it like always. It's for the best.

It's your first day of period today and you're hurting like crazy. Usually, Mark would be here to comfort you and massage you and all that stuff, but now, you actually think you're gonna spend your birthday tomorrow without him. For the first time ever in your life.

The day you were born, baby Mark had come with his lovely family to visit your family in the hospital. From his and your parents, you heard that you slept next to Mark and he hugged you both as you sleep. Baby Mark even caressed your hair with his small hands, and you have a video that captured that moment. You watched it again, smiling though your eyes are red and teary. You miss him. The thought of not having him around for your birthday hurt you.

You saw that there are no pads left and let out a long sigh. You put on your hat that Mark gave you as a birthday present and put on your slippers. You then go out your door and decided to buy some pads.

Usually, Mark would buy it for you but— ugh! Stop it with the Mark thing.

"Here's your order. Have a nice day," The lovely lady working the cashier register say to you. You smile through the pain you're going through, wanting to step out before a oh-so familiar voice register.

"Y/N?"

It's no doubt it's Mark Lee's voice. You can see through the side of your eye that he's currently looking right at you with his worried sad eye with his right hand holding a cola.

You don't know what to do. So you run through the door, ignoring Mark's shout of your name as he chases you. It's like the game of chase you two used to play back in elementary school. You cry, you really don't know why but you cry. Passing your house, you run to the park and decided to catch your breath by sitting at one of the slides. You and Mark used to play at that slide all the time until you both grew up.

You look everywhere, and close your eyes when Mark isn't in your sight anymore. You stay in that position for 3 minutes, and when you open your eyes. You almost jump from your seat as you see Mark squatting in front of you sitting in the slide with teary eyes.

"Why— why are you avoiding me?" His voice breaks as he turns away from you, and you can clearly see him wiping away his tears before looking at you with eyes that you swear can make anybody cry. So you become teary eyed as well.

"I'm not." You reply shortly, before standing up to go back to your house. He snorts out of disbelief. "Sit down, Y/N. We're not done talking and if this is the last— if this is— if this is the— if this is the last time we're talking, I don't want it to be an open ending."

You really can't believe that word. You want to just cry your eyes out for 100 years after hearing that word, so you sit down. You want closure as well.

"I know damn well that you're avoiding me. And I really don't know what I did to make you piss off like that. Heck, Y/N, I was jokingly strangling you as we watch Doctor Strange and we were laughing like crazy as well. At some point you even drank a portion of my iced americano. I don't know what I could've done to make you ignore me after all that fun. And I'm honestly so.. I don't know anymore. I'm so sad, Y/N. Mom said she never saw me cry this much. I can't even dare to say that you're ignoring me just because I don't believe that word. Just tell me why are you avoiding me? Am I not good enough as a friend? What am I lacking so much that you decide to ignore me? Why do you do all that while you're here looking as hurt as I am and—"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" There. You say it. You blurt it out loud. Whatever. You don't care anymore. You are in your most vulnerable and raw feeling and you don't even care anymore.

He closes his mouth. He looks at you with some expression you don't even know what it means. But you continue your words as tears flow from your eyes, "I love you, Mark. I love you since forever. I know you don't feel the same, so I'm taking a step back. I don't wanna be your friend anymore. I don't think I physically and mentally can. It's for the both of us. That way, whenever you have another girl it'll be easy for me, for you, and for your girlfriend. Just please let me be. I'm gonna go home. I don't want you to follow me. Let's just pretend we don't know each other and let me enjoy this heartbreak in peace for God's sake. Please just— please," You stop talking as tears and emotions just stream through your whole body.

"Y/N.." He says. And you just can't anymore. You walk away.

You walk for 11 seconds before his hands reaches you. You shout. You literally shout. You told him not to follow you anymore, what is he trying to do? Stop fixing a friendship that literally cannot be fixed anymore!

"STOP IT!" You screamed. You looked at his eyes with anger until you catch his sad, teary glares.

"Y/N, hear me out. Please?" He says. And after a few thoughts, you decides that he can have a few say in this situation.

"I love you too," He says, smiling through his tears as he hugs you. You're puzzled— standing there and doing nothing as he hugs you close, brushing your hair with his hand, kissing the top of your head as he takes a breath of your scent he missed.

"W-what?"

He laughed, eyes still in tears as he let go of the hug but still intertwining both your hands together. "I love you too. I loved you since elementary school or something like that. Then you had a crush for stupid Choi Hyunsuk in college and I found another girl in college. But even then I realise that my number one, my Mom excluded— has always been you. So then I love you again, up until this moment. You should've just communicated this and not cut me off. That's not nice, baby."

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

The nickname rings through your head, all the way to your heart because it starts beating unrealistically fast.

"What?"

He laughs again. "Just... I love you. Do you maybe wanna be my girlfriend then?"

You never say yes so fast.

And there it was.

Your birthday.

"Are you really going to spend it without me this year?" He ask as you two eats your favorite cake; a Lotus Biscoff Cookie Cake.

"Yep. That was my plan, until.."

"Until?" He asks with a teeth-showing smile and one eyebrow up. "Well.. until this." You reply, kissing him as you hug him tight.

You can't believe it, but he's all yours.

author's note: HELLOOOO EVERYONEEE! TvT THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING!! Please do tell me your opinions and thought and whether or not you like a second part where it shows more of Mark and Y/N's relationship 🥺 have a good year wherever you are!! stay healthy and eat well peeps!

[thebindingofpillo]

hi, for that ask game. 8, 11, 12, 14, and 18 for bethany (sorry)

This came out SO MUCH LONGER than I expected I’M SO SORRY anyway

8 - Favorite food: these are the kind of questions I can never answer because I literally never think of my characters’ fav foods and whatnot. BUT. I’d say that living with Lazarus (who cannot cook to save his life) and mostly subsisting on ready-made meals, instant ramen and coffee made her incredibly appreciative of anything homemade. Currently she doesn’t know how to cook that well (just enough to not die) but she’d love to learn once she’s done with her studies and won’t be as stressed.

If I had to pick a favorite food above all else… probably something comforting and warm like stew or potato soup, earthy and spiced with lots of meat. Or some other comfort foods like fries or chicken nuggets, but those are for when she’s really down and in need of a pick me up. Dino nuggies, even. I also thought she might like ice cream in some gross artificial flavors like blue raspberry or bubblegum because I think it’s funny.

11 - Biggest fear: Probably being left alone and being singled out as an outcast like it happened in her childhood. She’s spent basically all her elementary/middle school years with only her brother’s company, and while Lazarus did his best to entertain her, he was still 11 years her senior and couldn’t always be there for her. This is also where her faith helped her the most, since she felt that God never truly left her alone. It wasn’t much but it helped push through. Another big one is coming across as fake, more on that later huehue.

12 - Biggest fantasy: OKAY so. This is going to sound hella stupid but Bethany is a hopeless romantic, and being so young she lived right through the YA supernatural paranormal romance craze. She still has a huuuuge collection of books about sexy angels and demons turning into angels and falling in love with pretty human girls. While she’s an adult now and recognizes that many of the tropes used in such fiction were often problematic at best, Bethany still thinks about them and rereads her favorite schlocky books from time to time. Oh to be swept off her feet by a handsome angel man who will love her unconditionally and be united with him in lawful marriage…

Being fiercely catholic, this was also a way for her to explore her desires in a safe space without feeling guilty all the time. She might also have written fanfiction about the Bible but that’s a period of her life she’d rather be buried forever. She’s never let anyone read them (something something catholic guilt about rewriting a sacred text) not even her brother knows about it.

14 - Biggest regret: probably enrolling in university in a major she doesn’t like. She actually really loves learning but she chose in Medicine because she felt the “need” to help people like her brother, not because she was particularly inclined or interested in it. In fact, she’s quite squeamish, and while I don’t actually know if dissecting corpses is part of any medicine curriculum, she’d die if she had to do that. But now she’s in, and she can’t possibly drop out now, not after her parents told her how proud they were and already told all her relatives she’s going to be a doctor, right? That would be such a disappointment, and she’s always been the golden child! Man, I sure hope she doesn’t suffer a major breakdown that will make her rethink her life choices!

18 - Biggest insecurity: oof, she has many. First, the fact that she’s actually quite introverted, but doesn’t want to be “a bummer” so she usually hides it behind a bubbly facade. She’s not really that good with people but dammit, she tries her best. And this usually turns her into a bit of a people-pleaser. The only people who really know her are Lazarus (her brother, 11 years her senior, looked after her since she was born) and the twins (Lazarus’ best friends, basically extra brothers to her) with them she can truly let go and be silly stupid.

Also: her body. She’s had a massive growth spurt during puberty which turned her into a beanpole. She’s around 5’8’’ and flat as a board, which garnered more ridicule in her formative years, so she’s quite self-conscious about how she looks. She tries to play it casual and wear comfy clothes to not drive attention to herself, but deep down she doesn’t really like her body.

ALSO ALSO: she only has male friends. Gee, I hope she doesn’t latch onto Maggy the first girl who shows her a modicum of kindness! She needs some girlfriends.

Last thing, and this is a bit more serious: Bethany is extremely judgy. She’s thoroughly convinced she’s the Most Righteous Person Of Them All, but usually keeps it very well hidden. She’s the type of person to laugh with you while at the same time despising you and she HATES IT. She knows, objectively, that she’s not more right than anyone else, so she tries to act accordingly and not be a bitch, but she still feels those feelings bubble underneath the surface, and she’s deathly afraid her friends and family will see her for the horrible person she secretly is (spoiler alert: she’s not a horrible person. She just has a lot of catholic guilt to work through and will have to learn that just thinking bad things doesn’t make her a bad person. Maggy will probably help her through it, once Bethany takes the stick out her ass and accepts her best friend is poly or something. I promise I have thoughts, it’s just late and I want to get this done sdlkjfhslfkgh)

[rosypenguins]

❤️Driam+Henriam Headcanons❤️

(Because Liam has some AWESOME ships)

❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤 ❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤 ❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️

🖤Driam❤️

❤️Liam’s always trying to make sure Drew goes to sleep at a reasonable hour. (With varying success.)

🖤Meanwhile, Drew’s usually calls Liam over summer break to make sure he doesn’t sleep past 2:00pm. (Because Liam will EASILY sleep for 48 hours if you let him.)

❤️Liam will steal his mom’s car and drive over to Drew’s house sometimes in the middle of the night. (With Drew’s permission ofc.)

🖤Drew and Liam play Minecraft together a lot.

❤️Liam is the ONLY reason Drew doesn’t have more than two energy drinks per day. (He’s the Caffeine Police.)

🖤Drew has some of Liam’s scene photos saved in his phone.

❤️Liam’s surprisingly observant, and tends to take note of subtle changes in Drew’s behavior.

🖤Drew tends to keep to himself when Liam and Henry are talking, despite Liam’s attempts to include him in the conversation. He typically opts to go on his phone instead, offering a snarky remark on occasion.

❤️Liam has teasingly flirted with Drew in the past, but he typically receives nothing more than an eye roll. (Quite the contrast from the reaction Jake gets.)

🖤Drew always feels like a third wheel when him, Liam and Henry hang out. He knows they have a lot more history with one another, and a bond that goes so much deeper than any other Drew’s seen before.

❤️Liam does his best to check up on Drew emotionally, yet Drew never tells him much.

❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚 ❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚 ❤️💚❤️💚❤️

💚Henriam❤️

❤️Liam and Henry have known each other since Elementary School. They grew up in the same neighborhood, and their parents are pretty good friends, meaning they gone out countless family trips with one another.

💚They basically know each other inside and out. They know almost everything about how the other thinks, and they can pretty much read each other’s minds to some extent. (Literally. Jake and Drew tested this.)

❤️About 1/3 of their closets are full of each other’s clothes just from how many nights they’ve spent together.

💚They’re pretty much always sending each other stupid TikToks they find.

❤️After school, if neither of them are doing anything, they’ll pretty much spend the whole evening on call playing video games or something.

💚SUPER comfortable with each other. Like, sitting on each other’s laps comfortable. Using each other as lap pillows comfortable. Caressing each other’s cheeks and cuddling up to each other comfortable.

❤️ “It’s not gay, we have our socks on!"

💚Have practiced pick-up lines on each other, and have definitely kissed before, too. “For practice.”

❤️Have this little game where they come up with the weirdest insults to call people.

💚Henry’s the one who got Liam into anime, and almost every anime Henry’s watched, he’s watched with Liam. (He’s also NOTORIOUS for pausing and rambling about his thoughts for about 10 minutes before continuing the episode.) (Needless to say, it takes AWHILE for them to finish a series.)

❤️Both are horrible at saving their money, and tend to blow it all on useless stuff in 2 days.

💚Henry is Liam’s certified Arm Rest.

❤️Liam usually has to grab things from the top shelf for Henry. (And makes him say ‘please’ before giving it to him.)

💚Henry refuses to tie his own shoes so Liam usually does it for him.

❤️Liam is Henry’s personal nurse. (Because God does he need one with how easily he gets scraped up.)

💚Nothing to do with Henriam but I like to think Henry tried taking Japanese for a semester and literally couldn’t understand anything other than ‘hi’ and ‘thank you’ so he ended up dropping the course.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

THE CHRISTIAN PULISIC ELECTION HEADCANON 😭😭😭 Do you have any more headcanons for the few American students?

in fact i do!!!

ok regarding the christian election headcanon. i cannot stress enough how fucking EXCITED this boy was to get his fellow students (underage, non-american students) registered to vote 😭😭 bless his heart

ok ive spent a lot of time considering why tf these random ass american kids are at uefa in the first place

so christians mom is actually the mayor of dc!! (a random fictional mayor. i have no fuckin clue who the actual mayor of dc is)

and she knows her public school system is utter dogshit (again idk if thats actually true ive never been to dc) so she pulled some strings to get her son into some cushy private school he technically has no business being at

as for the other american kiddos (weston, gio),,, basically theyre all one big friend group n theyre christians friends from elementary n middle school

and when christian was aboutta start at uefa he was sad that he was gonna leave all his friends behind

so he was like. mom 🥺 im gonna be lonely without my friends at my new school 🥺 can you please use your important person powers so i can take them with me 🥺

and she was like. fine 🙄. n now christian gets to go to school w his friends!!

youll notice i didnt mention tim weah before. thats cause hes a different story

hes also at uefa due to his parents pulling strings. yknow cause his dads the fucking PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA. a fact that makes me do a double take every time i hear it.

stop me if youve heard this one before: gio reynas parents actually blackmailed his fucking VOLUNTEER, SUNDAY LEAGUE SOCCER COACH to get their son more minutes.

in an ironic twist of fate, serigo uses this incredibly embarrassing information to make gios life miserable

the amerigang doesnt even like soccer that much tbh, but all the other uefa students play it n they wanted to feel included

they much prefer baseball, n can be found at nationals park most weekends

the place they most often hang out at is christians house in colonial village

gio and christian find weston and tims stories of the shenanigans of their class (mosty revolving around federico and dusan) wildly entertaining

several students have approached christian asking if he can talk to his mom abt getting sergio banned from the district

kenan likes to follow weston around, so he just,,, hangs out w the american kids sometimes. they fw him.

gio is a freshman, while christian tim n weston are sophomores

none of them are old enough to drive, which makes hanging out kind of a bitch

christian tries to hang out w the croatian kids sometimes bc hes, in his own words, "practically one of them"

yeah they do NOT fw him

[ryanwritesfanfiction]

Sorry, I’m leaving now

Doug Davis x Reader (Covet pt. 2)

a/n someone had commented about a second part where the reader and doug finally meet, this is closer to the first chapter covet but from the readers perspective and i’ll likely have them meet in chapter 3

ps sorry if this is cringy or dumb also this is kind of a filler chapter but i think im only gonna write 3 chapters? not sure yet also not sure when i’ll write chapter 3 

wc: 900~1000

There is a moment in everyone’s life when they learn a valuable lesson that sticks with them forever but ever since I was young I felt like there was an invisible force that impeded me from being able to find love (maybe from being able to find happiness altogether)

Basically, I think I’m never going to find love, and I think I’m fine with that now. Maybe I've just accepted it. It feels like the world has bigger problems than whether or not I find love. So instead of putting all my energy into something that is never going to happen, I focused more on my career, and when that wasn't enough, I decided to go to grad school. 

Unfortunately, it seemed that my grad school nest egg was not as plentiful as I thought since about 90 percent into my continued education journey. I found myself having to move back to my childhood home in the small boring town of Fort Chicken.  

It's just one summer 

I kept having to reassure myself. I needed to. There was no way I had spent as long as I did doing everything in my power to avoid being like the rest of the populous of Fort Chicken who seemed to be stuck here by an invisible social force. 

I’m only here for one more summer 

So I made the best of a bad situation, I found some temporary employment with what turned out to be a very socially outgoing group of people. I wasn’t really the type to overindulge in the company of others nonetheless it seemed a much better option than just sulking around and brood about being back in my hometown.  

Thankfully, fairly early into the summer, my coworkers and I found our summer's saving grace: a little bar a couple of blocks away from Ft. Chicken Elementary. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was able to flourish socially, and it was so exciting. I suppose it could be attributed to Fort. Chicken's lack of new people or people who have left Fort. Chicken and come back. Things like that always create a bit of a buzz in small towns. 

Going to the bar every Friday became a fun little routine, it allowed me to sit and talk and feel like a social butterfly. I learned to love this weekly ritual, quickly becoming acquainted with all the other regulars and the employees. So when a group of people I had never seen before showed up at the bar, my interest was quickly piqued.

 “Hey, who are we starin' at” I heard followed by a silence by the group. Out of curiosity I quickly glance at their table, and see that they all began to stare at one particular man, dressed far more professionally in a sweater vest and a tie. It was odd for the middle of summer but it seemed to fit him weirdly. The conversation seemed to continue but as the night continued I kept feeling eyes on me coming from the direction of that table.

As the summer continued and my weekly routine went on, a new regular began to show up to the bar. It was easy to tell it was the same guy from the table as he was the only guy I had ever seen show up here in a sweater vest. As the summer went on, I got curious about the odd stranger and began to ask others about him, after all, Fort Chicken was a small town and there wasn't much that others didn't know about each other. 

I had learned that he was a science teacher at the nearby elementary school, apparently, he was known for his poor social skills according to one of the parents of a previous student of his. Interestingly enough, I was also informed by the bartender that although he was at the bar every Friday like me, he didn't drink. He always ordered a diet coke and sat at the same seat at the same table at the bar every Friday and always left after I left (according to the manager), which I found interesting especially since there had been many instances where I saw him looking in my direction, sometimes even seeming like he would come up and talk to me, but he never did which part of me was sad about but I couldn't understand why.       

The summer passed by fairly quickly and luckily I had made enough money to finish grad school. As I thought over the summer and everything I had done while back in my hometown, I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the odd stranger that I had never actually met. There was a part of me that felt like we were very similar. At any other point in my life, I was everything but the social creature that I had managed to morph into. I saw a part of myself in him.   

The summer ended and so did my brief popularity, I went back to school and everything else went otherwise back to normal. Occasionally I found myself thinking about the cute quirky guy from the bar. There were even moments where I caught myself daydreaming about him or what it would have been like if he had tried to start a conversation with me. I tried my best to push these thoughts away and go back to normal, after all, I had no plans of going back to Fort Chicken.

On my way back to my apartment, I received an alert on my phone from a national alert system, Warning everyone of what was seemingly the spread of an infectious disease started by a popular chicken nugget brand. From the way it was described, it seemed like a real-life zombie apocalypse

Well, it seems there are bigger problems than my love life now.

[kaccvcate]

second autobiographical essay below

The first sixteen years of my life I spent with my mom, and they were honestly the motherfucking worst.

My mom met my step dad larping when I was about 2, he was 16, and she was 26. She got pregnant, they got married, and he started sexually abusing me right away. When my brother was born, I couldn't stand him and was a complete cunt to him (sorry dude, I was a kid and I didn't know better.)

When I started school, I struggled to focus and did very poorly, and my mom and step dad would beat me and take all my things out of my room except for furniture, and lock me in there except to use the bathroom, for months on end, until they thought my grades were good enough. My step dad would come into my room at night and touch me. He would also jump out at me around corners and "wrestle" with me (pretending to wrestle for fun so he could squeeze my tits.) I would struggle and yell, and bite him as hard as I could, and my mom would punish me for hurting him. Sometimes he would do it in front of her, and when I complained to her, she would call me a liar. (His name again: Rigel Cameron Freeman.)

We moved pretty much every year because my parents struggled to maintain jobs. Mainly we lived in different parts of Gainesville, Florida, but we also briefly lived in Raleigh, North Carolina. At school I was usually the only non Christian kid, and I was a complete asshole because my family life was so horrible, so no one liked me and I was bullied constantly. I spent a lot of time in class, and all my time at recess, drawing and making up imaginary friends, or reading books about talking cats (I was very misanthropic, something I still struggle with.) When I was in late elementary to middle school, I made a few friends I still talk to. That was also the same time as my first suicide attempt (5th grade), and when I started self harming.

When I was 12 I dyed my hair red, and my friend's dad named me Red (their family were Irish and Cherokee.) I had been called lots of other names before that, basically something different by each relative, and the only thing everyone could agree on was that none of them suited me (and no one ever called me my government name.) After I was named Red, I dyed my hair every other color you can think of, but my name has stayed the same.

The same year, I moved to Miami, and that began a new isolated phase in my life that led to me becoming interested in magick. My mom had never lived in a major city before, and we ended up moving to a pretty sketchy neighborhood (gunshots almost every night, drive bys, etc.) In our home country (Mississippi) kids are simply expected to fend for themselves outdoors until supper. Now that I was trapped inside with my incredibly abusive family, I had nothing to turn to but the internet (something I'm sure many of us here can relate to.)

I became interested in magic through mythology. I had always found other pre-Christian cultures fascinating, since I wasn't allowed to learn anything about my own, and I discovered through Wikipedia and Google searches that people still practiced the pagan European religions of my ancestors. Through neopaganism, I began to learn about ceremonial magic extremely quickly, feeling as though it was the one piece of my life I'd been missing, finding that I had an innate understanding of something other than visual art for the first time. It wasn't long before I was ready to try my first invocation. I had always wondered if I had a "spirit animal," or a guide, which I knew must be part of my subconscious, and recognizing immediately that I could use ritual meditation to access this, I crafted my first ritual based on some uninitiated wiccan articles I had been reading, and what implements I had laying around. I set out a circle of stones, invoked the four quadrants with a candle at each cardinal direction, laid out offerings of oil, salt, and water, lit an incense cone, and two additional candles for the Mother and Father. My practice is very different now, but my results at the time were extraordinarily intense. When I closed my eyes, this is what I saw:

Dense forest, high on the mountain. It's foggy and overcast, but it's summertime. The rocks are covered with moss, thick and green. I look down at my sandy brown forepaws and know that I am a panther. I begin to stroll, and I can feel the power in my muscles. I'm strong and free.

I opened my eyes, and was back in my bedroom, surrounded by rocks and candles. Shortly afterward, my mom mentioned Scott Panther to me for the first time (I didn't remember meeting him as a baby.) I'm sure it will confuse some that my first experience with a native archetype, my family animal, was through a European style ritual. Hey, think how I feel! I should have been able to take peyote and meet a mountain lion face to face to earn my name, like any decent person. Unfortunately, since I was so isolated, I didn't have the privilage. My connection to the panther is extremely deep - some of my first dreams were of being a cat, and the first time I prayed (age 8) it was to "StarClan," which, for the uninitiated, is the clan of dead cats who live in the sky in the children's book series Warrior Cats (I still like to think my cat ancestors are up there watching.) I've always studied cat behavior and embodied cat energy, even before I had any vision, but in my life that was treated as something annoying and strange by the people around me, rather than the sacred mystical practice it was. When I had cats in my life, I prioritized them, often over my own health and safety. Even though I only have a dog now, I still consider cats to be my teachers. I can't say whether my conceptualization of reality and my experiences is native, or European, but I would guess it's a mix of both, like me.

I started high school at MAST Academy in Miami, a school for "future scientists." My family always discouraged me from drawing or playing music, often my instruments would be taken away or sold, or I would have nothing but lined notebook paper to draw on (I would only get things I needed for school.) Since all I had to decide a "career" on was my passion for non-human animals, I thought I might be a zoologist. It was a lot less horrible than most other high schools in a lot of ways, and a few of the teachers even treated me like a person (cheers.) I started visiting my dad a little during this period, he began teaching me about Jewish mysticism and Kaballah, what little I could understand, and I began to read from his collection of books on magick and the occult.

During my second year of high school, my mom and step dad moved to the Netherlands, and brought me with them. I was too young and shy (scared) to have any fun, and I just thought about suicide constantly. My mom would never stop yelling at me about everything, telling me how l worthless I am. I caught my step dad taking pictures of me as I got out of the shower, and my little brother told me he caught him watching me sleep through the window over my bedroom door (you could stand at the top of the stairs and look right through it.) I became paranoid he was going to start raping me again, like he did when I was younger, and slept with a knife beside me, when I could sleep. (Again, his name is Rigel Cameron Freeman, and he is a computer programmer who works in the video game industry.)

The only positive part of my life during this period was an online death cult I joined, called Les Fleurs de la Mort. I can't talk about our practices in detail, but it lead me to get really into gardening, which was probably the healthiest possible pastime for me. I don't think I've spoken to any of my fellow Fleurists in years, but if any y'all are reading this, meow.

After I turned 16, I got the chance to visit my dad back in Miami (court ordered), and I refused to return to my mom. I haven't heard from my mom or step dad since then, except for a handful of extremely rude emails from my mom before covid, and I hope that's the end of it.

Rigel Cameron Freeman, the pedophile who made my life hell and molested me constantly throughout my childhood, currently has sole custody of my youngest sibling, who's 9. (He was born after I left, and we've never met.)

[pikatrainer99]

So...I figured I should probably elaborate on Kieran after my last reblog so you all get where I'm coming from with my stance on him...

(Basically the TLDR of this post is this: I like Kieran much better when he's like this, look how happy he is, it's adorable 🥺)

(He legit terrifies me when he's like this though...😖)

My thoughts on him changed drastically throughout my playthrough of the DLC multiple times...and I'm gonna explain why.

First, when I first met him in the Teal Mask, I thought he was an adorkable socially awkward shy bean and I loved him because I'm very much the same way. Being (what seemed to me like) his first friend reminded me of how much of my childhood I spent friendless and the joy I felt at finally having one friend back in my last year of elementary school. As the Teal Mask story went on though, Kieran started to change...and I didn't know how to feel about the direction his character was headed...because it triggered traumatic memories in me...memories of that friend I had finally made...well...one day suddenly revealing that the friendship was never genuine and that they hated me the whole time, and they betrayed me...in a HARD-HITTING WAY...completely out of the blue, too...I had no idea what was happening with them or what I had done to deserve that awful treatment, but it didn't matter because I still got that treatment. I'm not going to go into the details because it's still terrifying to think about...but it was BAD...bad enough that I have severe PTSD because of this person. So, as you might expect from what I just told you, the way Kieran just suddenly turned on me in the Teal Mask story really made me have to make sure to use my coping skills and calming strategies in order to not have a PANIC ATTACK over a VIDEO GAME. And the ending of the Teal Mask where Kieran seemed to HATE me made me feel really scared for the Indigo Disk story and I tried my best to not think about it too much until it came out because I always felt nauseous if I thought about it. And even when it came out it took me a long time to be able to bring myself to finally play it... Kieran's new look reminded me even more of my real life friend turned bully I mentioned above, who also changed their look and even dyed their hair to a similar purple-ish color after the whole incident (yes I know Kieran didn't dye his hair, it's naturally purple-ish underneath, but my point still stands, it was similar enough to trigger me further), and I had a panic attack over it when I saw it in the trailer before the Indigo Disk came out. My thoughts were basically 'This is middle school all over again...' and I was not looking forward to facing the memories again, it was making me feel more and more anxious and sick as each day passed and it got closer to the release of the Indigo Disk. I also had more and more nightmares about that real life person which made me more and more tired and irritable, so that was not fun either. But...I knew I had to play it eventually, so to prepare myself for my own playthrough, I decided to prepare myself both physically and mentally by watching other people's playthroughs of the story first...multiple times. You have no idea how relieved I was when I found out that the story had a happy ending and Kieran was able to snap out of it, feel serious remorse, and resolve to change his ways and make everything right again. As you can probably guess from how visceral my reactions to this entire thing were, that did NOT happen with my real life friend turned bully...I'm pretty sure that individual still hates my guts to this day and I still to this day have absolutely NO CLUE what I did to make them turn on me so viciously like that. Anyway, I watched probably ten or twelve playthroughs on YouTube before I finally worked up the courage to play it myself. I finally finished it yesterday and I am glad that everything ended all well and good. I am so relieved and I am back to being a Kieran fan again now that he is back to his normal adorkable self. Now I only have the epilogue left to do in Violet and then I have to go through the entire DLC again in Scarlet...but I think I'll be fine for the DLC playthrough in Scarlet now that I've experienced everything in Violet.

So yeah, lots of complicated emotions and visceral reactions and stuff with my view of this fictional video game character...but I couldn't help it since he was a legit PTSD trigger for me during the last bit of the Teal Mask and the majority of the Indigo Disk...at least he's back to normal now though.

Anyway, what are you guys' thoughts on Kieran? How did you react throughout his arc? Which look do you like better on him, hair up or down? Feel free to let me know your thoughts on Kieran in the comments below!

[thelampisaflashlight]

Facts about me, that explain a bit why I'm the odd duck you all know today. Let's go.

-I saw the movie Junior on TV when I was in my second year of elementary school. I'd seen a commercial for it, and was like, "Oh, okay, sure, why not?" and I remember a girl in my class asking what I was doing after school and I was like, "I'm gonna watch this movie about a guy who has a baby." and she proclaimed she would do the same, to which I replied, "Okay??"

I had a CRTV in my room -the kind with the built in VHS player- and managed to watch the entire movie without anyone coming in and asking what I was up to.

And that's how I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger pregnant at age eight.

In addition to this, I also saw the movie Serial Mom on TV as a wee child as well.

-Some of the most rewatched movies in my house as a kid were Chicken Run, Robots (the 2005 animated film), and The Lord of The Rings trilogy.

I also routinely woke up at midnight to watch South Park, and I remember waking up and King of Queens still being on and being like, "Ugh."

-I still have a scar on my leg from when I was about nine or so years old and I fell off of a log, it runs from my knee up to my thigh, and while it's mostly faded now, when I get tan from working outside, it becomes a lot more obvious.

I don't remember the pain from it, so much as thinking, "Aw, I'm gonna get blood on my jeans."

-I had to be in reading classes up until around the second grade, but not because I couldn't read; I kept elaborating and describing the pictures instead of just reading the lines on the page, so they thought I couldn't read.

When I did finally prove I could read by actually doing what I was told, I never had to do reading classes again.

-For about two years, I slept in my closet. I'd stick my sleeping bag in there and I'd slide the door shut and watch movies or just listen to music in the dark.

I didn't have a bed at the time -I slept on the floor from around the age of eleven until I graduated high school-, so I guess it just felt cozy/comfortable.

And lastly;

-I used to get sick fairly often, I wouldn't say I was a sickly kid, but my health wasn't the best, and I would routinely have to leave after homeroom/first period in middle and high school.

As a result, I spent a lot of time alone, because my dad would have to go back to work and I'd basically be on my own until my brother came home from school.

I'm not at all used to people checking in on me when I'm sick, and for the most part, I prefer not to be noticed when I'm not feeling well, but I have found a fair bit of comfort in sickfics where a character is taken care of/has people around them that check in on them.

It's my sort of cathartic media lol

For what it's worth, I'm not sick nearly as often as I used to be -knock on wood- and I owe that in no small part to my friends for pushing me to take care of myself and be my own advocate.

I've still got problems, obviously, but I'm a lot more open/honest about what I'm going through.

[orchidsangel]

who’s your favorite robin? i feel like it’s jason but i’d still like to know why

-🦦

alright, this is actually ro lore. because- because because my fave robin is dick grayson *everybody gasps* and has been for YEARS.

i've never been a big batman lover, actually have had one-sided beef with him since elementary school. for some reason, i hated all of the men in the justice league except for the flash (could never hate barry allen my cutie patootie snuggle wuggle bear), and that was so amplified for bruce wayne.

partially bc i thought he was a loser like you don't even powers, you're not even a superhero fr, flop womp womp, yada yada yada. then. this girl i hated so. fucking. bad. for so. many. reasons. was the biggest batman fan ever. and when i was in 5th grade, she would always always always talk about how he was better than everyone else, and she would start arguments about it, and it was just so annoying.

so i already hated him, and she liked him, which means i hated him even more basically. also, i hated how many movies he has. pisses me off so bad to this day.

bc of that, i never got into batman or anything related to batman outside of the justice leage, and i never knew anything about him than his backstory. which i didn't even know that well bc for the longest time, i thought he got his powers from bats, and it turns out he's actually just like the rest of us. snooze.

i can't give you an exact timeline of how i discovered dick, but it probably went something like this:

saw nightwing - heart eyes - looks up nightwing on wiki - heart eyes - "first robin" - shocked emoji - connects teen titans dots - ignores everything about batman - hyper fixation passes - watches young justice - robin? - dick grayson? - heart eyes - NIGHTWING!!!!! - heart eyes

when i watched yj, my love for dick multipled by the thousands, and i already loved him bc i was a huge teen titans lover, and i always knew about batman and robin but my dumb ass was such a batman hater that i literally never connected the fucking dots.

my obsession with him is truly legendary, i had a nightwing theme for my spam acc on ig and twitter, all of my friends send me nightwing edits when they see them, and when my best dc loving irl wishes me a happy birthday, she calls me the "#1 nightwing stan" bc it's BAD for me.

but like i said, i wasn't well versed in batman lore until really recently, and that's where jason comes in. idk why when i read "first" robin i never once thought about there being any other ones, even though that more than implies that there are ??? but there's this guy ik who i went to middle school with who's also a fan of comics and superheroes like i am. and his fave character of all time is daredevil.

so one day, we're talking back and forth about which is better, dc or marvel. and he mentions that while he's not really a dc lover, they have one of the most goated characters. *insert jason todd*. and he's like, "yk who that is, right?" and i'm like, "pftt duh (no i don't)" but i'm never gonna let a man catch me slacking, so i do my due dilligence and start my research.

boom. here we are. with 2.5 blogs dedicated to jason who’s spent months living my head. dick will always have my heart, though. honestly, they both will.

[buzzingblues]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ SHOCK ME, SHOCK ME, SHOCK ME WITH THAT DEVIANT BEHAVIOR!

STATUS: BORED SO BOREDDD!!!

georgie, georgette if youre weird.

— seventeen

— they/she

— 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 🩷💜💙 ??? understandable ???

— hatchetfield hs, class of ‘21. GO NIGHTHAWKS!

as in the arts kids, fuck football.

— you will most likely find me in the auditorium, somewhere in the witchwood, a smoke club meeting, or on a shift at pasqualli’s (gag)

#georgieblr: my tumblr 💫

#losers club: talking to friends! 💐

#i love music: current listens and/or recs!

#rb: reblogs

[ ooc info under the cut ⤵️]

hii this is @exalt1ora (maxie) !! this is my hatchetfield oc roleplay blog im very excited about it yippee

WHO IS GEORGIE DAVIDSON?

Georgie Davidson is a 17 year old student at Hatchetfield High School. She lives with her parents, Mr. Ken Davidson and Mrs. Carol Davidson, in a suburb near the outskirts of Witchwood Forest. She’s a music + theater nerd, a stoner, and an avid researcher of urban legends and local history.

———

Her relationships differ based on timelines and circumstance, but there are some through-lines.

- Best friends with Alice Woodward. They met at a CCRP take your kid to work day as elementary schoolers and have been inseparable since. Bill is also like a second father to her.

- Close friends with Ruth Fleming. Georgie started doing school theater very young, and pretty much knew everyone involved. Ruth joined the tech crew in middle school and, being a certified chatterbox, Georgie regularly spent her breaks trying to talk to the new girl. Eventually, she broke her down and they’ve been close since.

- Drifted apart childhood friends with Richie Lipschitz. In middle school, they rode the same bus and both ended up sitting next to each other one day. Georgie struck up a conversation out of boredom and something just stuck. They kept sitting with each other and talking more in school, becoming closer friends. But, Georgie started developing feelings for Richie and she didn’t understand them, so she began to distance herself. Now, they don’t speak at all.

- Family Friends (?) with Paul Matthews. Georgie was babysat by Paul as a child, often alongside Alice, as she’d frequently stay at the Woodward place. She still calls him Uncle Paul, a childhood habit.

- Charlotte Sweetly babysat Georgie once in a while, too. Mr. Davidson asked the employees of the office to look after his daughter as a last resort, and offered to pay as overtime. Charlotte accepted happily, and spent the night braiding Georgie’s hair, making cookies and singing with the girl. They did this regularly, until Mr. Davidson became uncomfortable with Georgie being around her husband, Sam. But, like Paul, she’s still Aunt Charlotte.

- Second-cousins with Zoey & Zach Chambers. They don’t see each other or talk like, ever. But, it makes Georgie feel very starstruck to be related to Hatchetfield’s finest actress.

- Friends with Deb, Trevor, Caitlyn, PJ, Reese, Rose, Ziggs, Sof, and Danny

- Dislikes Max Jägerman, Kyle Clauger, Brad Callahan, Grace Chasity, Brenda, Ted Spankoffski, The Metzgers

anyone not mentioned she has neutral feelings towards and would gladly be their friend <3 (ppl she dislikes feel free to interact still💪)

———

okay now some OOC maxie things !!

~ i’m new to tumblr rp so if i’m not great pls be understanding LOL thank u

~ multi-timeline blog, will try to appropriately tag specific timelines

~ open to multi-shipping on both ends like idc if you have other ships and i’m cool having more than one bc of the multi-timeline thing

~ as you can see i do have like. specific relationships planned out for her in MY story but anything can happen so i’m open to everything!! i honestly don’t care how u interact with them. befriend them, romance her, bully her, plot to kill them! do what you please

~ she is a minor character so no hardcore nsfw stuff

~ anyone can interact !! obviously not like, basic dni stuff. if ur a bigot and/or a sicko leave me alone. but like i said im new to this and as long as you’re a hatchetfield rp blog you are welcome PLS send me asks or dm or anything!!! love ya

i don’t really have separate timelines yet, so for rn, general in-world action will be tagged #hatchettrash

will tag ooc posts #ooc !!