#absolute weirdo behaviour | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

m0llygunn · 1 year ago

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the alligator and the weirdo (eddie munson x fem!reader)

eddie shares some of his imaginative thoughts that he has during intimate moments

cw: 18+! mature language, smut, oral (f receiving), eddie being an absolute weirdo (affectionate) an: i was reading comments on an ig post months ago and there were so many guys who were talking about the alligator thing so yeah thanks random instagram guys for this idea wc: 2.2k+

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“Wanna hear something that you’ll hate?”

Turning your head, you look at Eddie laying the short distance away from you in the bed. The rubix cube that was keeping him busy has been tossed to the side and he smiles toothily at you, brows wiggling as he awaits your answer. Bad news— abort immediately.

“No,” you answer flatly. You move your book to block his view of you but he quickly tugs it away, tucking it under his arm.

“Well, apple of my eye, love of my life,” he starts, smiling wider than ever. You don't even bother trying to get your book back, you know it's no use. Mawkishly corny, he takes your hand, pressing his lips to the back of it and you know whatever he's about to say is going to be awful with the way he's working up to it. He looks up at you, “Today is your lucky day, because I’m going to tell you anyway,” he finishes.

“Is it actually something I’m going to hate?” you sigh.

“Yes,” he smiles, thumb rubbing back and forth on your hand that he continues to hold, keeping it hostage in his grip.

You pause, desperately trying to read him. He doesn’t give much away, just that he’s up to no good.

Unsure and honestly afraid, you tilt your head, “but is it going to piss me off?” you ask, needing a sincere answer.

“You won’t be angry, per se” he replies, voice pitching up with his dramatics.

“Then why would I hate it?” you retort.

He shrugs so boyishly you almost forget to keep up your attitude. “You’re just going to hate it,” he sings matter of factly.

“Eddie,” you whine. He squeezes your hand to his chest, rolling his eyes at you playfully.

Tonight was supposed to be a relaxing night, he promised you that. It was supposed to be quiet and chill– you were going to read, and he was going to… do something? Anything that he could do quietly. Obviously, he's changed his mind and has now resorted to teasing you.

“Fine, fine, you got me— I’ll tell you,” he huffs as if you’ve threatened him. Dramatic, dramatic, dramatic.

Speaking of dramatic, you swat him lightly for his antics, smacking your free hand to his chest and he overreacts, throwing his head back into the pillow with a pained howl. His face, scrunched up in faux pain, quickly changes to a desperate plea, eyes wide and brows turning up.

“No! Please, I already said I’d tell you. Please, no need for violence— I’ll tell you!” he rushes out, putting his hands together in a prayer to you. With a shake of your head, disapproving his boisterous behaviour, you hold back your smile by biting your lip.

“I’m going home,” you threaten. With your hand free from his grasp seeing as he has resorted to pleaing prayers, you move to roll over him to get off the bed.

“No, you can’t!” he reacts quickly, grabbing both your wrists and pulling them to his chest, keeping you pulled taut against him. “You can’t go, I haven’t told you yet.”

“So spit it out,” you whine.

“Fine,” he huffs with a played up annoyance. He rolls his eyes and you purse your lips in disbelief. Disbelief for the moment, disbelief for the mood he's in.

“Just sit here, and I’ll tell you, okay?” he smirks, dropping his grasp on your wrists but quickly grabbing your legs, pulling at you until your knees bracket his hips and you’re straddling him. You don't resist, figuring that if it truly is something you hate, you'll have the extra leverage to throw yourself off the bed and book it out of his room.

Shooting him a quick warning look, he finally gets to telling you his oh-so-anticipated thought.

“So,” he begins. “You know when I’m eating you out?”

Blinking your eyes slowly, you resist throwing yourself off the bed already. Definitely not the direction you thought this was going in.

Eddie smiles up at you, waiting for your answer.

“Yes, I think I’m quite familiar with that, thank you,” you respond, keeping your voice purposefully flat.

“Well, you know when I’m eating you out and I’m just doing such a good job that you can’t stay still?”

“Eddie,” you laugh. He raises his brows, awaiting your answer yet again to continue. “Yes. Yes, I am also quite familiar with that.”

“And when you can’t stay still, I hold your hips?”

“Eddie, I swear to god you better spit it out,” you huff, trying to hold back your laugh as you smack a flat palm to his chest again. He grins at you, eyes excited and filled with amusement.

“So, I’m eating you out, holding your hips, and then you’re still squirming around everywhere so I’m like, wrestling you?”

“You’re not wrestling me,” you laugh.

“But I am,” he smiles, raising a brow at you.

“You’re not… you’re just holding me,” you offer abashedly. He shakes his head with verve, and you nod your own head contradictingly. With a small wave of his hand, he continues.

“Well, just wait for the next part,” he smiles. “So I’m wrestling you, and then your legs start closing around my head—”

“Okay.” you interrupt. “I think that’s enough,” you say, feeling your cheeks start to heat up from his brashness. Obviously you know how the whole event goes, you don't need him to break it down for you in a play by play.

“No, I’m finally getting to it!” he laughs, hands squeezing at your hips.

You flash him a forced annoyed glare, prompting him to continue with a lift of your brows. He dips his head in a nod, smirking, and he finally delivers his punchline, words dripped in glee and an air of proudness.

“Whenever your legs start squeezing my head, sometimes I pretend I’m holding open the jaws of an alligator.”

“What?” you scoff, eyes narrowing in confusion. Surely you heard him wrong.

“It’s true,” he nods matter-of-factly. “I imagine a big ol’ alligator trying to clamp my head in it’s jaw, and I’m fighting for my life, trying to hold its mouth open,” he repeats, holding his arms out wide, energetically miming the struggle of keeping an alligator's jaw open.

So you didn't hear him wrong?

That’s what he’s thinking about when he’s giving you head?

Mortifying. Shocking. Not surprising— it is Eddie after all.

He finds your right hand, laying it down flat to his chest, pressing it firmly with both his hands overtop of it. Grounding you to him— nope— making sure you don’t leave is more like it.

“You’re strong, you know that?” he says with wide eyes. “You prance around here, needing me to open jars, and carry your bags, but I swear to god you’re stronger than me. Super-strength,” he says with a wiggle of his brows.

“You… you are so…” You’re at a loss of words. All you can do is shake your head, and feel your mouth go dry as you stare at him, astonished that this is what he decided to tell you. Never in a million years would you have guessed that’s what he’s thinking.

He opens his mouth and it only gets worse. “Sometimes I pretend it’s a bear trap too,” he adds.

“Stop.”

“Or it’s like Excalibur. You know Excalibur don't you? Its like I’m King Arthur and keeping your legs open is like I’m pulling the sword from the stone—”

“Stop,” you say with a more bewildered urgency, pressing your palm to his mouth. You feel his lips curl into a smile, crows feet deepening as he looks at you, eyes squinting with his amusement.

He mumbles something under your hand but you can’t make it out— you don’t want to make it out.

“Weird. You’re weird. You’re so weird.” you finally spit out through your shock. He licks your palm and you pull away with a repulsed squeal, wiping the dampness onto his shirt.

“I make you cum, don’t I?” he asks, smug as ever.

“But why are you thinking of that while you’re doing it?” you ask, riddled with mystified shock.

“I don’t know… just kind of thought of it one day and went with it,” he shrugs. “It’s kind of good though– distracts me from blowing my load before I’ve even got it in.”

With heavy blinks, you give yourself a minute to absorb what he’s just told you. Closing your gaping mouth, you swallow back your bafflement. This was supposed to be a relaxing night– not Eddie baring his weird soul night.

“Well… you were right, I hate it.”

“You love it,” he grins.

“Hate it,” you emphasize.

“Oh, but you love me, don’t you?” he retorts with his un-wipeable grin.

“We’re getting divorced.”

“Is this you saying you wanna get married? ‘cause we gotta get married first if you want a divorce,” he smirks, grabbing at your sides, tickling you. Taking his hands in your grasp, you stop him before he can really get started with the tickling, pushing his hands away and returning them to his chest with your so-called ‘super-strength’.

“I’m giving you two choices Munson– you take me home right now, or we stop talking about this,” you say with the best sternness you can muster. Oh to be reading your book peacefully, cuddling in the quietness of the room that was once promised to you.

He doesn't like your ultimatum, you can tell right away with the way his face drops.

“But you were gonna stay the night,” he pouts, purposefully over-jetting out his lower lip.

“Yeah and I want to stay the night,” you respond, tilting your head at him.

“So stay the night,” he nearly whines. Like a punishment, you let him sit in his pout for an extra moment. You could hope that he's thinking over where this all went wrong, but you know he's not. Under all that pout he's still smug as hell, it's in his nature.

“Are you going to keep talking about your weirdo imagination?” you finally break the silence.

“I thought you liked my imagination?” he says, lower lip pushing out even further, trembling slightly as he continues his overdramatic pouting, his eyes round with an innocence that he could never possess.

“I do,” you promise. “But not when it’s working overtime while you're going down on me. I’m not an alligator or a bear trap… or some magical sword and stone— Eddie literally who thinks of that?” you can’t help but smile, shaking your head with a regrettable mirth.

“See, I’m funny. You’re laughing.” Smug.

“You’re weird.”

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Later that night…

His tongue flits back and forth, sending shock waves of pleasure through your system.

“You like that?” he hums against you.

“G-good. Really good,” you reply through huffed breaths. Your stomach tenses, breaths staggering as you feel your impending orgasm approaching.

You stayed the night, no surprise to you or Eddie. One thing led to another, and hours later, your earlier conversation long forgotten, Eddie was between your thighs, racking pleasure throughout your whole body with his tongue on your clit.

His fingers pushed deep inside of you, massage upwards, stroking against your walls, rubbing perfectly at that euphoria inducing spot— you can’t take it, it feels too good, too much.

Your hands, weaved into his hair, resort to an odd combination of pushing him away and pulling him forward. Running from the pleasure but chasing it at the same time.

His lips seal over your clit, sucking, mimicking the throb that trembles through your body. You go ridgid, sliding over your tipping point. Your legs tense, closing inwards as your body gives in to instinct, not having a single thought in your brain at the moment. Every muscle tenses harshly before your spasm begins, limbs shaking and moving all at their own accord.

Hips stuttering, jolting back and forth with your release, a heavy hand closes around your thigh, pinning it to the bed.

“The alligator! She’s back,” Eddie exclaims but you have less than a microbe of steady consciousness to parse his words properly. His fingers continue wiggling inside of you, thumb moving itself to your clit as he continues busying his mouth with his ramblings that you’re too foggy headed to understand. You think for a moment there might have been a pirate impression with an argh, but that can't be right.

A deep, sputtering inhale, your lungs fill, clearing your lust filled brain. His movements slow, and your body relaxes little by little, melding into the mattress until you’re just a puddle of a person.

“And that’s another win for me,” Eddie announces smugly.

“Hm?” you hum, still in a daze.

“I defeated the alligator— yet again.” he says boisterously.

You blink your eyes open to see Eddie smirking from cheek to arousal glistening cheek. At first, what he said doesn’t make sense, but then it all clicks.

An absolute loss of words. You’ve never been so dumbfounded to not have a single word— not even earlier when he first brought up his colorful, unusual thoughts. Never.

Eddie recognizes this because he lets himself fall to your side, pulling you into him, maneuvering you like a rag doll until you're halfways on his chest, face to face, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“You know I’m funny,” he teases, stealing a kiss from you. He pulls back, looking beyond pleased with himself. “You love me,” he sings with a cheesy grin, pressing another kiss to your lips.

Full of mortification and disconcertment, your love for him is undeniable. You love him through and through, and unfortunately that includes his inopportune imagination.

“I’m in love with an absolute weirdo,” you confess.

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ty for reading!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson oneshot

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banj0possum · 9 months ago

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Yans (Or Yan(s) of your choice) reacting to discovering their darling is secretly a femboyysuhshbhbw s sbshshs a... ddhsja.. dkdjoa. .. .a .a... a.. (I was executed for my crimes)

Darling is a Femboy?!

All my OCs x Femboy! Reader

Note: Femboy meaning “feminine presenting boy” not an insult to trans women guys!! I promise i love you guys!!

CW: Weirdo behaviour from some of them!!, Reader is called feminine terms, Male Reader, a few nsfw themes (implied or minor)

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Secretly likes it : Adrian, Bo, Jasper, Victor, Baron, Wolfie, Axel

Doesn't show it much but he absolutely loves the way you look! So soft and feminine and cute, he fantasizes about you a lot because of it. Those clothes whether it's big or tight on you, it turns him on so much!! He loves letting you borrow his clothes that are always way larger than you and seeing your legs or midriff peek through. He'll steal your clothes once in a while and just take big whiffs of it and imagine your soft squishy thighs wrapped around his body while he hugs you close. As much as he want to feel it for himself, he'd rather let you initiate the intimate action first

🖤 Adrian makes fun of you for it. I mean you're so girly! You probably comb your hair with a dumb brush like a barbie or something? Do you use strawberry scented shampoo too you sissy? hahah...no seriously what do you use you smell so good. A-and whats with the clothes huh? You trying to like seduce him or something lol because its working

💀 You make him weak in the knees!! Bo has a habit of showing off his strength to both you and the horde, but with you all dressed up for him, he makes sure to flex and stand up straighter more often. Please praise him!! Tell him how strong and handsome he is!! He's too shy proud to beg but oh my god if you do it on you own accord he's gonna melt.

🥀 Fantasizes the most. Jasper has a diary that he'd rather die than show you thats full of entries all about you, how much he'd want to hold your soft hands, have you on his lap with your legs wrapped around you so he can have his hands on your precious thighs, or better yet he'd be inbetween them as you squeeze hard in your prettiest thigh highs- I mean what i me-

🌙 Think's about you drinking someone's blood in a beautiful black dress full of bows and lace. You'd look absolutely adorable all dolled up and covered in blood! Victor's salivating just thinking about it~! But of course he'd never tell it to the others, they'd make fun of him until sunrise or perhaps stal his own personal fantasy from him!

♠️ Steals your clothes the most. Any clothing item that's gone in the laundry's gotta go through Baron first, for security purposes of course! He's gotta make sure there aren't any trackers or bugs in there! also gotta take a quick whiff of it to make sure no one sprayed some kind of toxin or poison on you hahah...god you smell so sweet...

🍂 Why must you be so adorable!??? Wolfie can't help but want to cover you in all the soft hides and blankets he has in the den. He loves crawling under your oversized hoodie to give you kisses and licks while feeling your small warm body <3

🎸 Axel thinks you're the cutest/hottest thing to ever exist. He's the type to swoon over every single thing you do. Seeing you drink a pink berry smoothie makes him all red, Catching you readjusting your clothes and seeing a bit of your body is taking him to the ER from a bleeding nose. He'd never force you to dress in a certain way but oh my god imagine you in a baby rock outfit, all dressed up in punk clothing yet full of ruffles and bows and everything AAA!! He's a sucker for seeing you do the most metal stuff while dressed in soft pastel clothing.

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So cute!! : Brandon, Screw, Soda, Kalva, Silas, Caspian, Ashvan

Absolutely adores you!! He swoons, gushes, coos over how cute you are to whoever entertains the thought. If they find anything they think you'd like, doesn't matter how expensive it is, he wants to make you happy! Perhaps you'd reward him with a kiss? He's gotta buy this asap!!

🏈 Brandon's actually beggging the cheerleading squad to let you join please pleasee!! He wants to see you cheer him on during games!! He'd be practically drooling over you, even more if he'd think about how you'd look in a short cheerleading skirt and..no stockings~..hopefully he can buy a cheerleading outfit for you even if you're not in the squad..

💀 Screw and Soda both melt whenever you're around. They both love physical touch so they find a lot of comfort cuddling and nuzzling into you. That comfort is multiplied by 100 with you dressed up all cute and pretty. They love it when you wear your shorts. They drag you over to the bed so one of them can cuddle you with your legs on their shoulders and the other hugging you from behind.

🪶 Lovely lovely lovely!! You're so lovely!! It's like how males use bright colors to attract a mate. Your adorable pastel colors or fluffy soft clothes make you irresistible to Kalva! He loves it more when you wear clothes that show skin, it lets him feel his mate easier! You're so soft and smooth and aaaa so so small and cute! He's able to scoop you up and pull you close with his wings. No need for all that covering! Your mate will keep you warm! It's his excuse for wanting to bury his face in your chest

🌙 Silas loves you no matter what you want or wear, but of course whatever you choose to take interest in, it'll affect Silas greatly. With you being a femboy for instance, he becomes much softer towards you, always cooing or holding you close like a fragile doll. Whatever praises you want to hear, he'll say it. You want to be pretty? Well then you're the prettiest, most precious boy he's ever seen, no mortal can ever be as pretty as you my darling little turtledove~!

🌊 Literally no one will ever be as pretty as Caspian but OH MY GOD YOU'RE ADORABLE!!! He offers, no, BEGS to pamper you as much as he pamper's himself. Let him brush your hair, let him give you soft massages when your pretty little body gets tired at night, let him dress you up in the finest dresses Atlantis has to offer!! They're a little wet but they'd look adorable on you in the water!

🌾 Ashvan's so protective over you! It's no surprise that he'd have such a reaction to the way you look. There's no way you can protect yourself! You need a big strong protector like him! Sure you mowed down a whole horde of goblins on your own during a mission but he saw you trip and scrape your knee! So unsafe! He has to be there to make sure you're ok! You might see him linger around watching you. If you ever approach him to thank him with a little kiss to the nose, he's probably fainting on the spot.

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Encourages it : Valeth, Ribs, Dorik, Garrick, Hallow, Kagiri, Alistair

He spoils you to death! In fact, he might be the reason why your closet is filled to the brim with pretty clothes in the first place. He has a habit of doting over you because of it. It pushes his possessiveness and obsession through the roof! You have a lot of power over him that may or may not backfire. There's no limits to what he'll do for his pretty little boy..or what he'll do to you~..

⚔️ Valeth babys you every chance he gets. He might be a brutish orc, but he loves being gentle with you. He'll be the one to give you relaxing bubble baths, dress you up in the softest clothing, and feed you, all with the gentlest touch you've ever felt in your life. It does have its drawbacks however. He won't trust you in doing any kind of hard work. Why do that when you got your big strong man to do it for you? All you need to do is sit and be pretty for him~ Just like that little duckling~

💀 Ribs is literally shaking over it why do you look so so so s- AAA please sit on his lap sit on his lap please hes begging youo!! If you try to leave the bed while he's having a cuddle session with you, he's dragging you back, your nails scratching the floor and everything. He's a little bit insane about you ngl, the sight of you in a soft, oversized hoodie with your thighs squished together put his brain into overdrive. He unconsciously humps/rubs against you while you two hug, it's your choice whether you let him absolutely devour you or not~

🔥 Oh oh my god oh my god oh my- Dorik's begging, on his hands and knees, to get a taste of you!! Doesn't matter if it's a kiss or a lick or something more, he just wants a chance at tasting his sweet little master~! Are you all dressed up just for him? Is he getting a reward?? Oh please please say yes!! He's drooling buckets over the thought of touching you, just letting his hands wander all over your petite body, going under the snug fabrics that hug your figure oh so deliciously~ He'll burn any and every clothing item that isn't a crop top, thigh high, shorts or hoodie! All he wants is to love love love his pretty master!!

🌙 Garrick spoils you so much the others have to scold him for it. But what can he say? You're his little pookie bear honeypie babyboo loveydove- I'll shut up now. But srsly this man is FOUL!! He shares with you his fantasies of sinking his teeth in a pretty little lamb like you, so soft and warm~! He makes you shiver everytime he pulls away the cute dress he's bought for you just to lick at your skin and ghost his fangs over it. He loves seeing his little lamb squirm~!

🦋 Hallow's dressing you up in the prettiest of dresses and outfits!! Like a proper princess! He more or less treats you like a little doll. He's a lot like Valeth but you have a bit more freedom with him, he's just a little whiny and clingy. He loves gifting you cute clothes and accessories like cute skirts and bows and everything, but he also expects something in return~ A long cuddle session perhaps? Or a day of lying on your lap while you hum lullabies to him~? Ohhhh he just can't wait!!

🐉 Kagiri and his gang are gonna buy you the nicest clothes ever!! Well not really.. They look more like stuff a mafia boss' wife would wear like slim black dresses, fluffy scarves and stylish coats and blazers. Honestly you look amazing in anything to them! Whether it be a chiq dress you'd find in an expensive clothing store or an adorable poofy nightgown, they'll bombard you with compliments. They get a little loud whenever they talk about dressing you up in different outfits. They got a lot of warnings for talking about your thighs and chest so loudly.

👑Alistair objectifies you. Calls you his cute little doll, his plaything, his his his! You serve no purpose other than being pretty for him and only him. He expects you to be in the cutest of clothes (that he chooses for you of course) at all times, especially after any meetings or work he had to endure. He wants you ready to give him the softest of cuddles to help him recharge from a harrowing day of being away from you. Oh and yes, you must bathe with him if ever he asks. Your skin must be maintained to be smooth and soft! He'll take that job of gently cleaning your petite little body for you (yes yes no need to thank him) and yeah, the bath is rose scented.

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rikosseen · 18 days ago

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Shintaro Yamazaki x Reader: Predawn

Anon request

The Yamazaki syndicate is full of weirdos. Hot weirdos. And amongst these hot weirdos, Yamazaki Shintaro holds the golden DILF trophy. It’s not like you had anything better to do than to gawk anyway. Fulfilling clan duties, cleaning up whatever you needed to, spying on Somi Park and the other ladies- what’s a woman to do with such a repetitive lifestyle?

Previously, the main objective for your presence was to carry the future heir for Yamazaki. However, before even meeting Shingen himself, news had spread across the clan that a child with reverse eyes had been born.

And so, to prevent your family from embarrassment for not fulfilling your duties, your days were spared working as- well- a maid. A servant, if you will. Not the brightest role, but it was something. And hey, at least your insides didn’t get destroyed by big, Tora Oni dick.

Anyway.

Today’s a nice day. It’s sunny, but not unbearably hot. There’s even a cool wind breezing around. What makes it nicer though, is that Shintaro’s blessing your eyes with his presence.

God, look at those forearms.

Could a man of his calibre be seduced? Probably not, but what did you have to lose? You’re scrubbing floors for crying out loud. So, shamelessly, you sit on your knees, looking up at the hulk of a man in front of you.

Shintaro isn’t stupid. And while he doesn’t care too much for his looks, even he can’t deny the amazing traits that the Yamazaki genetics has been able to carry. So of course he notices your bulging eyes. Of course he’s aware of your staring- of your drooling even.

The man doesn’t complain though. Your behaviour is… amusing. In the dead atmosphere of the syndicate, your presence brings humour. To complain would be to form contact with you. And, well, Shintaro’s adamant on thinking that there’s no need for him to initiate conversation. After all, he has better things to do.

You swiftly wipe the bead of sweat from your forehead, and sit on the ground. It’s 5am- the sun’s not up yet, but you figured it’d be in your best interest to finish chores early so that you’d have more free time during the day. Needless to say, the morning was a productive one.

“It’s a little early, don’t you think?”

You jump at the voice beside you, heart thumping against your chest.

Oh god, oh god, oh god. Oh god, he’s so close.

The man looks down at you with his default, bored expression.

“You're up too,” you say, voice cracking.

Ugh, how embarrassing.

Shintaro hums, and showcases the paper in his hand.

“Don’t you get bored with the same routine everyday?” you joke, shifting and fiddling with the grass beneath you.

His face turns solemn, and he seems hesitant, but after giving you another look, he sits down beside you cross legged. You grip on the grass a little tighter, sucking in a quick, quiet breath.

“Someone has to keep things in order, no?”

You suppose that’s true. “Doesn’t it weigh on you?”

Shintaro wants to criticise you and tell you how much of an honour it is for him to be in the position that he is. But in the wake of predawn, and the result of the restless nights he’s endured, the Yamazaki can’t help but feel a tinge of agreement. Maybe so, but it’s something Shintaro will never voice out. It’s just the sleep getting to him. Actually- he wouldn’t be thinking such ridiculous thoughts if not for you. Maybe he was right to avoid you from the beginning. Doubt clouds his mind now. He glances back at you, and watches as you fiddle with blades of grass.

“I suppose,” he concludes.

A schedule breaks out, and you find yourself waking up early. Not to complete your chores, but to see Shintaro again. Time and time again, the Yamazaki joins you on the grass, and the two of you end up talking about nothing in particular. It’s mainly you doing the talking, but regardless, Shintaro listens.

He doesn’t say anything unless absolutely necessary. The man feels it too dangerous to even be in contact with you like this. His thoughts are never kept at bay during these predawn shenanigans. But somewhere deep inside him, he’s grateful. Grateful for the serene warmth you provide. Shintaro doesn’t complain. He doesn’t need to. Because slowly, even he’s finding excuses for why he’s sacrificing his sleep to be here.

#lookism #lookism x reader #yamazaki #shintaro yamazaki #shintaro yamazaki x reader #yamazaki clan #lookism manhwa

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gaylactic-fire · 2 years ago

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something something commodification of adolescent nostalgia packaging the timeless joy of self-insert fictional escapism into a soulless $60 product

#absolute weirdo behaviour I'm sorry about this rando Sam fhfgdv #Tell me that TOTK is ''soulless'' say it to my face shithead

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whatdoidosatoru · 7 months ago

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lost souls (ran haitani x reader)

pairing: best friend!ran haitani x reader wc: 8.8k ao3 i always use first person, sorry if that's a bit weird, but i'd rather shoot myself than write in second person. also there's no use of y/n. you're welcome. tags: soulmate behaviour, fluff, eventual smut, a bit of sexual harassment (creep in a club), hanma being a menace, shion being a lil weirdo, izana kurokawa, insane amounts of flirting, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, missionary position, unprotected sex, creampie, actually very vanilla sex tbh, but they're cute to me

MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF! 18+!!

When your best friend invites you to the club with the promise of free drinks, it wouldn’t be very wise to decline. He was a bit disappointed as I was running late, but he wasn’t making a fuss. He understood me better than anyone and knew I needed time to prepare for the amount of socialising I’d inevitably have to do..especially since he entertained a lot of people.

Ran Haitani was lounging around the VIP area with two women in his arms and at least one drink in hand, waiting for me.

When I’d finally got ready, I made my way to the club, freezing my ass off in the shortest, tightest dress I could find in my wardrobe. Now that I got here, I realised it was showing too much thigh and it had a stupid, stupid neckline.

I made a quick stop at the bar to get a few drinks to warm up before locating Ran. A large hand waved at the bartender to put my drinks on his tab, and the face accompanying the hand wasn’t too bad to look at, but I politely explained that I was meeting up with someone.

He didn’t like the sound of rejection, instead, he tried to get me to sit on his lap. I struggled against him, and nobody around me was willing to step in and help.

“Hey buddy, leave her alone.” Ran sauntered over, making the creep at the bar back away immediately as he recognised who was commanding him. Ran then turned to me, and, with a caring expression on his face, looked me over to see how I was feeling.

“Are you okay?”

I let my hands wander over Ran’s body possessively to scare off any potential assholes that could want to try the same shit with me. He let me do this because it wasn’t our first rodeo, he had, unfortunately, had to swoop in to save me from multiple situations much like the one that had just unfolded. I looked up at my saviour with a wide smile.

“Cheers, Ran. Just in time.”

Ran chuckled softly, enjoying the feel of my hands on his body. He knew I needed him and he was more than ready to help me. We clinked our glasses and he raised an eyebrow playfully.

“Always saving the day, aren’t I?” He took a sip of his drink, watching me intently over the rim of his glass.

I smirked as I looked up at him, my hand withdrawing from his chest.

“My knight in shining gang uniform. How’s the night been going without me?”

Ran laughed, seemingly enjoying the nickname. Despite having a great time partying with his friends earlier, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing without me around. He leaned down close to my ear and whispered,

“It’s always better when you show up.” He gently brushed some stray strands of hair behind my ear and added, “But I managed to have fun nonetheless.”

With a mischievous glint in his eye he continued, “Now that you’re here, though…let me introduce you to these lovely ladies I met tonight.”

He gestured towards the two women who had been sitting beside him in the VIP lounge.

I approached the women enthusiastically, sitting right next to them. I could tell they were wondering who the hell I was, and if I was there to chase after influential men and use their influence for my gain. While I respected the grind, most of those men were absolute bastards and dealing with them was a fucking pain and a full-time job. But my best friend was not one of those men.

I introduced myself to the women and started a conversation.

“...I’m Ran’s best friend, yeah. Oh, by the way, I love your lipstick, you have to tell me what shade that is…”

The conversation was casual and Ran sat across from us, observing over his drink. He watched me effortlessly charm these two women, making them feel comfortable and appreciated. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at my ability to connect with people easily. As the conversation flowed smoothly, he noticed one of the women discreetly slipping her phone number onto a napkin and sliding it towards me.

Feeling slightly amused by this turn of events, he leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his drink, waiting for my reaction. I put the napkin into my purse, exchanging a wink with the woman. I kept chatting with them, getting warmer in my too-tight, too-short dress and I could feel the VIP waiters appreciating the hug it had on my curves with their lingering eyes. I winked at one of the waiters who immediately grinned and came over to offer me a drink.

Ran observed the scene as it unfolded before him, feeling a mix of amusement and pride. He knew I was enjoying myself and that was enough to make him happy. As the waiter handed me the drink, Ran caught his eye briefly and gave him a subtle nod of approval.

Despite being surrounded by attractive women vying for his attention, Ran remained focused on the conversation with the two ladies from before. However, he couldn’t help but steal glances at me throughout the evening, admiring my charm from afar.

I ended up getting up and dancing in the corner with the woman who gave me her number. Luckily for me, I had decided against heels tonight and instead wore my platform Vans. They dressed down any fancy outfit, but not enough to stop the attention being poured over me. They did, however, make me shorter than anyone else in the room, especially Ran. So it was comical to see him join us for a dance, seeing the height difference between us. He always thought it was cute, but in comparison with the other women who came up to us, I felt physically out of place.

The waiter came back with another drink so I took it and put the straw into my mouth to bite it before taking a sip. Seeing that, Ran playfully suggested that maybe it was time for someone else to have a turn serving us. Looking directly at the waiter, Ran challenged him,

“My best friend over here seems like she needs an experienced partner to keep up with her moves.”

By the time the poor man overcame his shock at the challenge, Ran’s gaze had already found mine and he extended his hand in an invite.

“Shall we show them how it’s done?”

I loved seeing this side of Ran, so I put on my finest grin and took his hand, letting him twirl me multiple times in a row before snatching me mid-spin and dipping me so everything around me was upside-down. My choice of footwear allowed for more movement, even if the dress restricted me. Ran picked me back up and slid a hand down my side, squeezing my thigh slightly.

“People are watching,” I said with a giggle.

“Let them,” he whispered, shaking his head.

With that, he grabbed my hips and led the dance. As he spun me around the dance floor, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of exhilaration. My infectious laughter, paired with energetic movements, only fueled his desire to impress me further. As people began to watch in awe, he simply tightened his grip on my waist and continued leading the dance with confidence.

When the song ended, Ran pulled away slightly but maintained contact through gentle touches along my arms and sides. He took hold of my hand once again and led me back to our table where the two ladies were eagerly awaiting our return.

One of the ladies leaned in to whisper something in my ear, to which I chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. I sat next to her and kept chatting, seeing the other woman trying to grab Ran’s attention and the waiter standing around awkwardly, making it obvious that he was trying to get a chance to be near me. I glanced at Ran, but his eyes were already on me, and in that moment I was reminded of all the amazing times we had had together until now.

Running off from his gang meetings only to hide when his brother went looking for us. Running around our neighbourhood in the rain without umbrellas. Impromptu karaoke sessions, both at his apartment and in karaoke bars, singing along to What’s New Scooby Doo together. Cooking elaborate ramen soups at two in the morning with only half the ingredients from the recipes, but with all the enthusiasm. He really was my soulmate, my other half, my best friend in the entire world.

I gave him a grin, fixed my dress, and looked back at the woman puffing her chest in front of me.

Ran watched as I engaged in conversation with her, other people’s attempts to gain his attention gone unnoticed. Despite being surrounded by beautiful women and potential romantic interests, he couldn’t help but feel a deep connection with me - one that transcended mere friendship or physical attraction.

There was a commotion as another man entered the VIP lounge, one of Ran’s gang buddies, whose eyes fell on the gathering we had going on and his lips stretched into an excited grin. He sat down next to me, seemingly not recognising me, and put his arm around me, pulling me closer despite my raised eyebrow at his sudden closeness.

Ran noticed the way this man’s hand possessively rested around my waist and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness rise within him. Although he trusted most of his friends, there was still an underlying sense of territorial instinct that kicked in whenever someone encroached upon my personal space.

So he did the only thing he saw fit at the moment - he moved closer to me on the other side - effectively sandwiching me between them both. This move wasn’t necessarily meant to be a challenge or a confrontation. Rather, it served as a subtle reminder that, while others might try to vie for my attention, there would always be someone who knew how special I was, someone I always went back to.

I rolled my eyes at the other man pulling me closer to him, the woman had already up and left the couch to sit down next to her friend on the other side as Ran replaced her next to me. I placed my bare legs over Ran’s lap, leaning slightly into the other man’s embrace.

“Shion, didn’t anyone ever tell you to ask before putting your hands on other people?”

I teased him, but I put all the power I could into my voice. His eyebrows furrowed before his eyes widened in shock. He stumbled over his words, but still didn’t withdraw his hand from me as he muttered,

“Shit sorry I didn’t recognise you!”

I giggled and leaned into his side some more, my legs still resting over Ran’s lap, his hands sliding up and down them.

“Well, Shion, how about you let me go now, hm?”

Ran watched the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and concern. He knew Shion well enough to understand that his intentions were likely harmless, but he also recognised the importance of respecting boundaries - especially when it came to someone as important to him as me.

As I gently scolded Shion for his lack of tact, Ran felt a swell of pride at my assertiveness and composure in handling the situation. Despite feeling somewhat territorial over me, he remained calm and collected, trusting that I would handle myself accordingly. With a reassuring squeeze on my thigh, Ran offered an encouraging smile before speaking up.

“Hey bud, maybe give her some space? She seems pretty comfortable right here next to me anyway.”

I pushed myself off Shion’s chest and met Ran’s forehead against mine in a gentle gesture of the bond we shared.

“Listen to your friend, Shion. And next time - if you get a next time - ask before touching me, ‘kay?” I said that with my most polite smile, but he knew I meant business.

He moved to the other couch to give the other women some attention, even though one of them kept her gaze on me the entire time. The waiter stood there awkwardly, watching as I pushed myself up onto Ran’s lap and leaned into his chest, his hands immediately resting on my thighs and mine on his back from where I winked at the waiter just to get him flustered.

Ran was savouring the warmth and familiarity of my embrace and, in moments like these, he was reminded why he cherished our friendship above all else. Despite the chaos surrounding us in the VIP lounge, there was a sense of peace and tranquillity whenever we were together.

I called over the waiter and took his notepad, writing down my order, following it with a little heart and an apology for all our behaviours tonight. I knew he must’ve been insanely nervous dealing with Tenjiku gang members, especially two of the Four Heavenly Kings. As soon as I finished writing, I flashed him a smile, and he left for the bar to give the bartender our order.

As he left, Hanma’s tall figure walked up to the lounge and approached the couch where Ran and I were sitting, situating himself where Shion had been sitting next to me.

I rolled my eyes at his closeness, but I didn’t mind him too much, we had our banter. Hanma leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek and I pinched his left cheek with my fingers. His hand went to my shoulder and started pulling my body down to lie on my back and place my head on his lap. I let it happen as his tattooed hands started stroking my hair soothingly.

Ran observed this interaction with a mix of curiosity and amusement. While he knew that my relationship with each member of their gang was unique, it was always interesting for him to see how all these different personalities interacted when in such close proximity.

When Hanma kissed my cheek, Ran felt a pang of jealousy, not because he wanted to claim ownership over me, but rather due to the fact that he wished he could offer the same level of comfort and intimacy with no strings attached.

Shion returned to Ran’s side and they struck up a casual conversation. It was clear that, despite all the chaos surrounding them tonight, these men still found solace in each other’s company, united by loyalty and camaraderie amidst a sea of strangers vying for their attention.

One of Hanma’s hands went through my hair while the other tentatively touched my thigh. It took exactly one raised eyebrow from me to make him reconsider this move, immediately pulling his hand off my thigh and offering me an apologetic smile as the strokes on my hair continued. He knew my limits with him, even though he regularly liked to test them.

The women on the other couch seemed engrossed in the situation unfolding in front of their eyes. How did this random girl in a too-tight, too-short dress and fucking Vans, for crying out loud, have these three powerful and dangerous men dancing to her tune and wrapped around her finger?

I lifted my head to whisper into Hanma’s ear, something that made him grin wider than before as he stood up and, pressing another kiss into my cheek, maybe a little too close to my lips for my liking, went over to the other couch, sitting in the middle and letting the women flock to him with a grateful smile directed at me.

I sat up in Ran’s lap once again and leaned into his chest, continuing the cuddle we had had going on before Hanma arrived. I could tell by his breathing that my attention being directed at him once more made him relax as his arms wrapped around my waist like he was holding onto a lifeline amid a storm.

Shion walked over to Ran and spoke to him in a hushed voice, by the tension in Ran’s body I could tell it was work-related. My ears twitched at the exchange, but it was none of my business until he made it my business to take part in any of their gang bullshit.

I had only taken part in two of their missions, both times as eye candy for some of their rivals or partners who had a weakness for women of my body type and liked to extend their welcome to a few wandering looks and touches. After both of those missions, Ran would spend a whole day with me and under me, lying on his bed wrapped up in each other, with him apologising profusely, nearly scraping the floor with the depth of his bow, almost sobbing with guilt at how the other men had approached me, even though I had willingly chosen to take part in the mission.

I placed a kiss on his neck to signal I was there for him; despite the closeness of my entire body on his lap, I liked reminding him of my presence with gentle kisses to his neck. Shion glanced at the exchange and raised his eyebrow, to which I just smirked mischievously. Hanma was enjoying himself with all the attention he was receiving on the couch, though I couldn’t help but call out to him to remind him of manners.

“Remember to be respectful, Shuji, unless you want me to come over there and teach you another lesson.”

I said that with a joking threat, but if he was good at anything, it was turning anything I said out loud into a joke for himself.

“Oh, you know I’d love nothing more than for you to…teach me another lesson.” He followed with a wink in my direction so I let out a hearty laugh at his boldness.

Despite the lighthearted nature of my interactions with the other gang members, Ran knew better than to underestimate the depth of my loyalty and commitment to those closest to me - especially him. He couldn’t help himself so he let out a deep chuckle at the wave of pride that washed over him at noticing how nobody really dared cross the line with me once I had drawn it.

Ran Haitani silently vowed once again never to let anything jeopardize what truly mattered most: protecting those who meant everything to him - starting with me.

I nestled myself closer in Ran’s lap while he exchanged playful banter with Shion, showing everyone who my number one was - everything else came after him.

As Hanma made the other women laugh while they examined his tattooed hands with awe across the glass coffee table, more people filed into the VIP lounge. Most notably, Izana Kurokawa, the Tenjiku leader. All three men in my company immediately stood up and bowed, I slid off Ran’s lap, but he held onto my hand and squeezed it in apology for the abrupt dismissal at the arrival of their boss. Izana dismissed them to sit back down and nodded at me, in exchange for a bright smile on my face.

He beckoned me to join him at the booth in the corner of the lounge and I nodded, rubbing Ran’s hand with my thumb as I broke contact to join their leader.

I sat next to him like he asked, knowing better than to challenge him. He indulged in small talk with me, like he often did, asking me about my day and telling me about the delicious food he had eaten that day.

I complimented the way his hair fell forward today and fixed a few flyaways with a gentle touch to which he gratefully smiled, tilting his head to the side as his earrings clicked while he did so.

He leaned in to kiss my cheek, a lot more polite than Hanma did. I rubbed his arm to show my appreciation for his wanting to spend a little time with me, our conversations always brought him a sense of normality in his very abnormal life where everyone expected something from him.

I stood up from the booth and sauntered over to Ran once again as the waiter brought Izana his drink, I pulled Ran to his feet and dragged him to the dance floor again.

As the music played its hypnotic rhythm, he effortlessly matched my pace step-for-step, allowing both physical proximity and emotional vulnerability between us without reservation or hesitation. Our world revolved solely around this fleeting moment suspended in time - a temporary sanctuary from reality, where all worries melted away under the weightless pressure of love and companionship.

We danced oblivious to everything except for the steady beat resonating through our beings, our hearts beating as one in perfect harmony.

As the beat changed into one more energetic than the last, we shared a wide-eyed look, recognising the song. It was one of the modern pop songs with a very catchy tune, but instead of dancing accordingly to it, we had made it a tradition to always slow dance to it. Ran jokingly bowed at the waist and extended a hand to me with sweet words.

“My lady?”

To that I curtsied and took his hand with an exaggerated, high-pitched voice.

“Don’t mind if I do, kind sir.”

He pulled me into his chest and we stood embraced, closer than some would think physically possible, swaying out of rhythm completely, along to some music only playing in our two minds. Our tradition made Shion and Hanma audibly groan and roll their eyes, Hanma exclaiming, “Here they fucking go again, I swear if I have to see…”

The rest of his annoyance completely blended with the noise around us, nothing else existed apart from us. The women in the lounge and Izana looked at us with pleasant smiles, appreciating the gentle gesture they saw before them as there were far too few of those in the world.

And so we swayed gently out of sync with the rhythm pulsating around us. As the song ended, we pulled back a little, smiling at each other. Ran placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Hanma booed from the corner of the room, making me shout back, not moving my head from Ran’s chest.

“Shuji if I hear one more sentence out of your damn mouth that doesn’t end in ‘my queen’ I will step on you!”

I fixed him with a stare, but in true Hanma fashion, he switched to a cocky smile and retorted.

“How did you know I wanted you to step on me…”

When Ran raised an eyebrow at him he finished the sentence.

“...my queen.”

I rolled my eyes at him and went up to the waiter.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries in here?”

I flashed him a polite smile. I could tell he was nervous, even more so than before, since Izana showed up, sitting in his booth and drinking wine from a pint glass, scrolling on his phone and ignoring a million notifications he was receiving. The waiter winked at me and with a smile disappeared into the kitchen to ask the staff there for fries and some ketchup on the side.

When he brought me the fries, I blew him a kiss and sat at the bar on the high stools, taking one bite at a time, savouring the crispy exterior and the softness of the interior of each individual fry. Hanma walked up behind me and hugged me tight, apologising for taunting me earlier. I smiled up at his towering figure and pushed his face away from mine as he got too close, but kept our playful banter. He grabbed a few fries from the bowl in front of me and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving me to enjoy my food.

The ladies from before came up to me from both sides with wide eyes.

“Girl…how?!”

They wanted to know how I got all these men in the palm of my hand. How even Izana, the notorious Tenjiku leader himself asked for my company, allowed me to touch his hair, smiled all friendly, and thanked me for indulging in small talk with him. I shrugged and explained that I had been lucky to be in the right place at the right time to meet Ran, everything else came with the inexplicable bond we shared. I told them that they needed one good person on their side, someone to support them as I had the freedom to make myself cold to handle anyone else with the firmness they deserved.

To emphasize my point I motioned Hanma over to join me. When he sat next to me, smiling, I leaned in as if I was going to whisper into his ear, but I just hiccuped, covered my mouth and started laughing with him. He tried tousling my hair, but I stopped his large hand from approaching and pushed it away. He stood up, hugged me tight, and muttered.

“Just using me for your own entertainment…I see how it is.”

With that, he left me alone with the women, their jaws nearly slacked open.

As the laughter subsided from the bar, Ran felt a sense of satisfaction bubbling within him at witnessing my easygoing rapport with not only his fellow gang members but also complete strangers who had found themselves drawn to my presence. Despite my constant casual dismissal of my own abilities to navigate this world, chalking it up to sheer luck, there was something he found undeniably captivating about the way I carried myself around others - a quiet confidence that spoke volumes without a single utterance.

It wasn’t long before Hanma rejoined the group, still reeling from my playful antics earlier on, but instead of appearing annoyed or frustrated by my teasing, he simply accepted it as part and parcel of being in my close proximity.

We continued conversing late into the night - sharing stories, trading jokes, and cementing bonds that ran deeper than most could ever comprehend.

As I made my way through the fries, Ran sat down next to me, causing a big smile to appear on my face, the one reserved for his presence only. He picked up a fry and we touched them together, a toast of some kind. We bit the tops of our respective fries and then we switched hands to feed the rest to each other.

He told me the plans for the next mission, begging me not to ask Izana to make me part of it since it might require a feminine touch to succeed. Ran was hoping to avoid my involvement again, he’d rather me not have to deal with people touching me, even if the mission could be jeopardised.

I reassured him I would only accept if there was no other way of doing it, and he seemed okay enough with that promise.

When we finished the portion of fries, we transferred back to the couch, settling comfortably into plush cushions, my body in his lap. I snuggled into his chest, my lips trailing his neck in reassuring gestures.

I inevitably felt the tiredness of spending the whole day on my feet as the energy expelled at the club enveloped me. Ran immediately noticed and got me off his lap to stand up. He picked up my purse and, with his hand on the small of my back, led me to the exit, stopping only to explain to Shion that he was taking me home.

As we were making our way to the exit, I noticed that guy who had harassed me at the bar at the beginning of the night - he was now trying to touch up another woman who didn’t seem too keen on keeping him company. Ran followed my line of sight and noticed what I was frowning at. He made his way towards the man who stopped his wandering hands at the sight of Ran’s kind face, sometimes genuine, sometimes hiding the absolute boiling rage inside him.

Ran picked up the man’s hand and snapped it backwards, breaking his wrist. He turned to the woman and apologised she had to witness that, wishing her a better continuation of the night as he made his way back to me, flinging an arm around my shoulder and cackling along with me as we walked out into the cold night air.

When we reached Ran’s car, he opened the door for me before going to the driver’s side. He let me pick the music for our ride to his apartment. By now it was an unspoken rule that I sleep over at his place on Friday nights after we go clubbing. Neither one of us wanted to be out without one another any longer than necessary, so it was only logical that we go home together.

I put my favourite song on for the ride, both of us belting out the lyrics as Ran drove through almost nonexistent traffic at this time of night. We shared an unbreakable connection forged through countless nights spent navigating Tokyo's vibrant club scene side by side. And while neither of us had ever explicitly stated it out loud, there was no denying the fact that we cherished these peaceful interludes just as much as (if not more than) the wild parties themselves.

As we arrived at the garage, Ran leaned over the console to give me a kiss on the forehead before swinging out of the car and nearly running over to my side to open the door for me. We walked up to his apartment where I immediately went into the bathroom, grabbing the basket with my skincare items to take off my makeup and cleanse my face.

I emerged from the bathroom and noticed that Ran had made us cups of tea with honey - another thing we often indulged in after nights out. I usually picked hibiscus while he drank green tea.

He had already got himself comfortable, changing into his pyjamas which consisted of nothing but old sweatpants that I had bought him when he stayed over at my place for the first time ever. I revisited that memory fondly, taking in his naked torso, his tattoo visible in all its glory.

I took the pot of moisturiser from the basket of toiletries and brought it over to him. I was the designated person to keep his tattoo vibrant and moisturised by slathering it in moisturiser about once a week. I took my role very seriously.

We walked over to the couch, where I pulled my dress off, with his help, and threw it into his bedroom through the door that had been left slightly ajar. I took the oversized t-shirt that he had taken out of his wardrobe for me and put it on over the top, reaching under it to unclasp my bra and shrug it off under the t-shirt, landing it on top of the dress.

I sat on Ran’s lap on the couch, once again, this time with a completely different energy between us, and took a bit of the moisturiser, starting from the top of his shoulder downwards, covering all his ink in a glossy layer.

Despite our vastly different backgrounds and personalities, there was no denying that something profound connected us on a level far beyond mere friendship. Was it fate? Destiny? Or were we simply two lost souls seeking solace in each other's arms amidst the chaos of Tokyo's criminal underworld? Whatever the answer was, one thing remained abundantly clear: this unlikely alliance had transformed into something far deeper and more meaningful than either of us could have ever imagined.

And so we sat together - two beings united by circumstance, driven by an insatiable desire for adventure, passion, and most importantly, comfort. We found comfort in each other in every way. Be it through defending each other from people who had no business being close to us or sharing secret knowledge in big crowds…even intimate moments like this one. We knew each other better than anyone else, these moments were completely ours, with nobody interrupting, nobody watching.

Ran reached over to hold my waist and steady me as I reached lower on his body to finish my treatment of his inked skin. I felt my face redden a little, though it did not make me falter in my practised movements whatsoever. When it was done, I spread what was left of the cream on his face, to which he made a face of feign-annoyance, as he did every single time I did this.

His eyes traced my body’s curves, my skin was tightening under his touch and gaze.

Ran knew that, beneath my playful exterior, there lay a fierce loyalty and unwavering devotion - qualities he had come to rely upon more than anything else during our journeys together.

With each passing moment, our bond grew stronger, fueled by trust, respect, and an undeniable attraction that refused to be ignored any longer.

Despite those intense feelings swirling between us like an invisible storm cloud threatening to engulf us whole, neither of us seemed willing (or perhaps capable) of addressing the elephant in the room. Instead, we chose to lose ourselves within this limbo state - teetering precariously on the precipice between friendship and something far more dangerous.

We weren’t strangers to a wandering touch or two. We had shared the bed countless times before, always staying pressed against each other, be it for warmth, for consolation after a hard time, in celebration of a job well done, or just because we could. Our hands knew each other’s bodies well. But we never took it further than just some friendly exploration. Not that we didn’t want to, no. But because the consequences of further embarkment could change the world forever.

It was the one thing we never spoke about. Even though everyone would refer to me as Ran’s wife, and Ran as my husband, we had never spoken about taking a step in that direction among ourselves, despite proudly admitting to others we’d marry each other in a heartbeat.

Tonight, however, as my skin tightened under his gentle touch, I felt the surge of emotions overwhelm me. The air between us crackled with an electric charge, fueled by years of shared experiences, laughter, pain, and heartache. We were a duo forged in the fires of adversity, bound by ties stronger than steel. I leaned forward to brush a strand of Ran’s hair out of his face, lingering with my face so close to his, trailing my gaze from his one eye to the other, and, with a determined breath, I pressed my lips to his.

Whether the explosions we heard were sounding outside the window in the street, or in our minds, that was going to remain a mystery. My entire body and soul were captured in the sensation of Ran’s scent, the texture of his soft lips, the connection between his hands and my waist, pulling me impossibly close to his body.

We had said I love you countless times, but it had never meant anything like this before. It was a slow and fast sensation at the same time. Full to the brim, overflowing. Our lips slotted together in an avalanche of I love yous, all of them unsaid, but felt deep inside. His hands quickly took over my entire body, as mine found their purchase in the locks of his hair, tugging lightly to hear a soft moan slip from his throat into my hungry mouth - a feast for my senses, a fresh spring for my thirsty soul.

With reckless abandon, we surrendered to each other completely. Baring not only our bodies, but also our hearts and souls in ways previously unexplored. This wasn’t just lust or infatuation. This was something far greater - true love manifesting itself through passion, vulnerability, and trust.

With a swift motion, Ran picked me up and started walking towards the bedroom. In the passion of the moment, he put me down to take his sweatpants off and I pulled off the shirt I had put on only minutes earlier - the only material covering us was our underwear.

To change that, I dropped to my knees in front of Ran, but he reacted quickly, pulling me back up by my arm, sitting down on the bed, and pulling me on top of him to straddle his hips. He continued kissing me, at the same time giving me the most loving caress on my cheek.

As I straddled him, my hips started moving to gain some friction against his erection. This managed to draw out a deep groan from the depth of his throat. His hands travelled up and down my sides, resting on my soft thighs on each side of his body.

Slowly but surely, we were crossing into uncharted territory - venturing deeper into the depths of each other’s souls with every stolen kiss and whispered word of affection. It was as if all barriers between us had crumbled away entirely, leaving nothing behind save for raw emotion and insatiable longing.

Like a tidal wave - with unbridled power all at once - Ran flipped us over to hover over me, like my own personal sun. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, he was in my head and in my heart, all over me and in front of my very lucky eyes. I felt like prey that wanted to be caught by the hunter.

He lowered one hand to my cheek, gently caressing it before lowering his lips into a kiss to rival all kisses. His fingers trailed down my naked body and dived under the hem of my underwear, pushing it down and off me before settling in between my wet folds, sliding through them, making me whimper at his touch as I never had before.

Our bodies melded together seamlessly, our hearts beating in perfect sync. There was no denying this magnetic pull between us; it was as if fate herself had conspired to bring these two lost souls together under extraordinary circumstances. And now here we were - lying naked on the bed, bathed in moonlight streaming through the open window.

His eyes burned a hole in mine, keeping contact even through the seductive act of bringing his slick fingers to his lips, first spreading the wetness on the soft plush of his bottom lip, then sucking in his finger to taste me. As his eyes closed at the sensation, I let out a gasp, feeling the desire pool in my belly.

Ran chuckled and dived in to kiss me, spreading the slick from his lips to mine. He nudged my legs open with his knee, slotting himself in between my legs, rising to his knees to see the view spread out in front of him - the view that stirred something primal within his very core.

My eyes were filled with desire and longing, my body trembled beneath his touch as if begging for release from this exquisite torment.

He knew what I needed now - what we both craved more than anything else in the world. And yet, there was still a lingering sensation…a fear of crossing the invisible line that might forever alter our relationship.

But, as he gazed down upon my face bathed in moonlight, all doubts faded away like wisps of smoke on the wind. This moment had been building since the day we had first met. It was inevitable now. The culmination of countless shared experiences and stolen glances that had brought us to this point.

Ran kissed down my stomach and reached the centre of all my frustration, the point on my body where all these vibrations went down to. He blew a stream of cold air onto it, sporting an innocent smile on his gentle face, lighting up when I whimpered in frustration.

He gave my needy clit one gentle kiss and dragged his body up to examine how his little torture affected me. I was reaching my hands up, so high, towards him. I needed to touch him. I needed to feel his smooth skin under my fingertips, needed to feel that this was real, and not some twisted dream.

Ran adjusted himself in front of my entrance, sliding the head of his cock through my wet folds, just like he had with his fingers.

I was shivering with sick anticipation.

And then…

As we crossed the threshold of no return, Ran whispered into the darkness around us.

“I need this so much.”

He gently eased himself inside my welcoming warmth. His movements were slow at first, tentative almost. I let out a whine so loud that I had to press my palm to my mouth to muffle it a little. He kept going, slowly, carefully, like he was waiting for me to stop him. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Somehow he was still going, stretching my insides to fit him, letting out huffs of air from his lungs as he sank deeper and deeper.

I looked up at him with a blissful smile, like I was right where I was always supposed to be.

Ran finally stopped sinking, filling me up completely. I wrapped my legs around his waist to anchor us both to this moment under the street light spilling in through the window, mixing with the cool moonlight. I kept him in me as long as I could before he started rocking back and forth, making both of us gasp with pleasure.

With each passing moment, the lines between friendship and something far more intense blurred until they became indistinguishable from one another.

“Ran…”

My voice echoed through the bedroom, together with the sound of insatiable moans and skin-on-skin contact. I gripped him like my life depended on his body staying as close to me as possible. His name was like a plea on my lips being whispered into the abyss, like my only wish and only thought in this entire world.

His hands roamed freely across my body, exploring every curve and contour like they were discovering new territories for the first time. As we moved together rhythmically, lost in each other’s embrace, there was no denying it anymore. We had taken a leap of faith, crossed the boundaries once considered sacred.

In Ran’s mind, there remained an undeniable truth: no matter what happened next or how things turned out eventually…this moment would forever remain etched deep in our minds, reminding us about what could exist between two souls brave enough to explore love beyond limits.

I thought about the twists and turns of our friendship throughout the years, how I had never felt jealous of any person he had been with. I had never felt threatened by his love interests, thinking it was because what we had was so platonic that it couldn’t have grown into anything else. Now I was starting to think we were so far past soulmates that nobody else could ever have replaced us.

Not a single person could replace Ran’s hands on my breasts and hips. Not a single person could be better under him than me right now, basking in his hungry eyes, being eaten alive by his desire. And when we were together, we unleashed eternity. We were sailing high, and I was already falling. Falling into the abyss of infinite pleasure.

With a gasp and a high-pitched moan I fell, and Ran caught me, sliding one hand to rub my swollen clit and bring me back to earth to ride out my orgasm. I attached my mouth to his neck, but not like before, this time it was possessive. Before, the neck kisses had just been a reminder of my presence, that I had been there with him - for him - but this time I intended to leave a mark.

I sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck like I tried to draw blood and his moans were fueling my passion.

I jerked my hips upwards to meet his thrusts when I finally came down to earth. I could feel him deeper inside of me than anyone else had ever been. He was giving me his all, and I was greedily taking it.

Ran let out guttural moans, again, and again, and again, as I met his thrusts with equal force; our bodies were like two pieces of an intricate puzzle designed specifically for one another.

As we spiralled towards oblivion together, consumed by insatiable desire and boundless affection, there existed within us both an unspoken understanding - this wasn’t about sex or pleasure, it was about exploring love unlike any other.

And then it finally happened, when we reached the pinnacle of ecstasy together, time seemed to stand still for a moment.

With the last thrust of Ran's hips into me, I realised I'd never been full before in my life. Not until then. When his face betrayed him, when he lost himself in me, when his voice couldn't handle any more, that's when we ascended from mere mortality.

I fell apart under his body, and he absorbed me into his soul.

Nobody else could ever compare. Nobody else came close to what we had.

All thoughts vanished except those centred around each other: You are mine.

Ran gazed down at me with a mixture of love, lust, and admiration as we descended from the dizzying height of our orgasms. I turned to him to gauge his reaction and figure out whether we were still, as usual, on the same page.

“Are you okay?”

My voice didn’t show any worry, though I felt in my soul the importance of our next decision - and that we had already decided when we pressed our lips together the first time.

Ran could see that this moment held more weight than any other we had shared thus far.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s talk about everything.”

He continued, propping himself up on one elbow and tracing his finger gently across my cheekbone. “What do you want from us?”

I shivered under his touch, still not over the way he had touched me just before this.

“I want all of you. I want to keep what we had before, but add this into it.” I thought for a moment. “The only thing I’d change, though…no more entertaining other people the way we did before.”

Ran listened intently as I spoke, my words resonating with a sincerity that made him feel both humbled and exhilarated. I wanted all of him - not just the passionate lover, but also the loyal friend who had been by my side through thick and thin.

“I promise you, darling…from now on, it will be just us.”

I drew closer to him.

“Yeah?”

Ran couldn’t help but smile, my eagerness mirrored his own excitement about our newfound intimacy.

“Absolutely, sweetheart.”

He ran a tender hand through my hair, savouring the moment before speaking again.

“I want nothing more than to be here with you, experiencing life together in every possible way.”

I drew myself up to face him and decided to get closer still, so I sat on his lap. I stuck my pinky out and he hooked his own to mine.

“No more holding back.”

“No more holding back. From now on, we’ll face whatever comes our way together. We are in this for real.”

I snickered as he leaned in to kiss me, our pinkies still intertwined.

“I love the sound of that. And I love you. With everything I have.”

Ran pulled away slightly, gazing into my eyes before responding.

“And I love you too. More than anything else in this world.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, tucking it gently behind my ear. We were completely connected now - hand in hand, heart to heart.

I sighed, remembering the reality that awaited us beyond these walls.

“We have to tell Izana. He asked me about us earlier.”

Ran’s expression darkened, his mind already coming up with the best way to break the news without causing too much friction.

“How did he ask? Was it casual or serious?”

I smirked and caressed Ran’s face.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s going to be fine. He asked me if we’d grown a pair to confess to each other because he was our number one supporter,” I moved my hand to Ran’s hair, stroking it softly, “he’s always seen through us, I think.”

Ran couldn’t help but feel relieved.

“Alright. Once we do this, there’s no going back. Are you absolutely certain about wanting everyone else to know?”

I held his gaze with determination.

“Absolutely. I don’t want anyone to think of me without visualising you by my side…if they hadn’t already.”

Ran nodded.

“Let’s go see him tomorrow then. We can catch him at breakfast.”

He squeezed my hand gently.

“Just remember, no matter what happens after we tell him, nothing changes between us two. We’re in this together until the very end.”

I nodded solemnly. I was ready to stand by Ran no matter what.

“In that case, we should try to sleep. Don’t want to show up in front of him with bags under my eyes.”

Ran chuckled lightly. He pulled me closer, nuzzling against my neck.

“That sounds like a plan. But before we retire for the night, there’s something I want to do first.”

His eyes glinted mischievously as he trailed soft kisses along my jawline. His lips curved into a smirk as he leaned over and brushed his lips against mine in a tantalising whisper.

“I was thinking of using my tongue on you, darling. Would you like that?”

His words sent a shiver down my body and I nodded wordlessly. His smirk widened at my response. He wasted no time in flipping us over and sliding off the bed to his knees, positioning himself between my legs.

“Let’s see how good you taste now, hm?”

He ran his fingers over my thighs, savouring the anticipation building within us. Ran enjoyed the sight of me lying on the bed, waiting for him with deep breaths. He lowered his head, pressing a tender kiss to my inner thigh before moving higher.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

With that said, he parted my folds with his fingers and began lapping at my clit in long strokes. I whimpered as soon as his tongue made contact. My thighs pressed together in reflex as much as they could, pressing against Ran’s head. He chuckled softly against my sensitive flesh, relishing the way I reacted to his touch. He gently nudged my legs apart with his shoulders.

Slipping a finger inside of me, he began matching the rhythm of his tongue with slow thrusts. With each stroke, he could feel my skin getting warmer and my body more responsive.

“God, you taste amazing,” he murmured between licks and kisses, “I could do this all night.”

I tried to speak through shallow breaths.

“I- I’m not going to fuck to complain, R-Ran.”

His tongue was playing with me perfectly and, combined with his long elegant finger, it was heaven.

Ran continued his ministrations with renewed vigour, determined to push me closer to the edge. He moaned into my pussy, letting the vibrations add another layer of sensation.

“Mmm, you like that?” His voice was muffled by my flesh, but audible enough for me to hear his question.

As my grip tightened on the sheets, he knew I was getting there. He increased the pace of both, his tongue and finger, ever so slightly, eager to watch me fall apart under his expert touch. I hummed and whimpered to the rhythm of his finger, sprinting towards the edge of oblivion and, not looking back or hesitating, flinging myself into the endless ocean of pleasure.

I came on his tongue and I could hear his low chuckle vibrating my clit, sending me further, deeper, into the abyss.

Ran caught me as I fell apart, holding me tightly tethered to earth as he continued pleasuring me with his tongue and finger. As he felt the waves of my orgasm wash over him, he revelled in the knowledge that he had been the reason behind it.

“Good girl.”

He whispered between licks, prolonging my climax until I went limp in his arms.

I struggled to find the right words as I slowly opened my eyes to gaze at him, his fingers in his mouth, licking off my release. The only words I could think of were a long string of I love yous.

I love you I love you I love you I love you…

@bontensbabygirl @haitani-maki @animeangel21 It took me way too long to fit all this together on the page :(

#fanfic #fanfiction #writing #tokyo revengers fanfic #tokyo revengers fic #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani #ran haitani x you #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran #ran haitani smut #ran haitani fluff #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers fluff #best friends to lovers #reader insert #no y/n #whatdoidosatoru

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youremyheaven · 6 months ago

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The Severity, Spirituality and Stoicism of Saturnians ✊🏼🧎‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

I will be criticizing Saturnian men throughout this post, if you don't like that, stop reading right now <3

Saturn is the planet of karma, justice, discipline, and order. In Claire's video about Saturnian men, she observed that "in Saturnian men you will find an exact duality contained here in breaking rules and doing strange stunts, pranks and having outbursts etc but also paradoxically find themselves submitting to ideologies, cults, political parties, motivational affirmations etc"

I feel like I touched upon this a bit in my first post about Saturn and in this post I'd like to go into different manifestations of this tendency along with some other things I've observed with Saturnian men.

Timothee Chalamet, UBP Moon

Full disclosure, I've never liked him lmao,, I think the hype he gets is undeserved and 90% bc of the fact that there is a dearth of young charismatic actors in Hollywood.

But anywayyys, Timmy Tim first attracted controversy for working with Woody Allen even though he's since expressed regret for it or whatever,, then he received flak for having sex in a pool during the height of the pandemic and manyyyy blinds about him giving women chlamydia 💀💀started making the rounds and he was lowkey exposed for being a whore

Then last year he drew criticism for smoking indoors at a Beyonce concert (where smoking is prohibited) and he's literally talking to Kylie and blowing smoke ??? at the same time?? which is sooo filthy?? who tf does that??

His silence on the Armie Hammer issue and pretty much all issues lol have also been criticized. Everybody thought he'd be some woke liberal activist but he's just been dead quiet and pretty self absorbed the whole time. He loves to lap attention and give absolutely nothing in return to the community.

The thing with Saturn however is that, bad behaviour does not go unpunished. Timmy Tim has been getting A LOT of flak and the total rose tinted obsession people had with him is slowly fading (even tho he still has legions of fans). People are now starting to see his true colors.

But anyway, this is a very minor issue compared to all the other Saturnians I'm going to mention next.

Jeffrey Epstein, UBP Moon, Anuradha Rising

I'm assuming most of you are familiar with sex offender Epstein. He has trafficked thousands of underage girls over the course of decades and to satiate numerous high profile paedophiles.

He committed suicide while in prison. One thing about Saturn is that, if you stray, are immoral, unfair, undisciplined, corrupt, foul, evil etc it WILL punish you. The truth is Saturnians know deep down that what they're doing IS wrong, they're not like Moon dominants who are completely convinced their corrupt evil idea is a "good" one. Saturnians know full well what they're doing and they do it anyway and they suffer its consequences.

Inviting Saturn's wrath upon oneself is basically how these natives find "balance", they feel like they get away with too much and they're constantly pushing their limits to see how far they can go before this wrath comes for them.

Epstein had been doing this for decades without much consequence, working with extremely high profile people including politicians and royalty. Eventually, he was caught and the truth of his immorality was exposed for all to see AND he ended his own life.

Salvador Dali- UBP Moon

Dali was known for being an eccentric and a weirdo and you can say that the way he pushed his boundaries as an artist is a more "positive" manifestation of Saturnian individuals and their need to test limits.

However, Dali was also a pretty messed up guy

Dali admitted on several occasions to having sadomasochistic tendencies. As a child he enjoyed throwing himself down the stairs, explaining that “The pain was insignificant, the pleasure was immense”. Shockingly, he once pushed his childhood friend off of a 15-foot bridge – as his friend lay injured, Dali apparently sat calmly eating cherries.

Pleasure and pain seemed intimately entwined. Dali wanted both. One other childhood incident of note included a wounded bat. It was kept in Dali's washhouse hideaway and stayed there overnight. When Dali returned to it was being devoured by a mass of ants. He impulsively bit into the seething mass delirious with pleasure.

I had briefly mentioned how Saturnians tend to be sadomasochistic in my previous post about Saturn and these examples just confirm it further.

When he is an adolescent a girl falls desperately in love with him. He kisses and caresses her so as to excite her as much as possible, but refuses to go further. He resolves to keep this up for five years (he calls it his ‘five-year plan’), enjoying her humiliation and the sense of power it gives him. He frequently tells her that at the end of the five years he will desert her, and when the time comes he does so.

When he first meets his future wife, Gala, he is greatly tempted to push her off a precipice. He is aware that there is something that she wants him to do to her, and after their first kiss the confession is made:

I threw back Gala's head, pulling it by the hair, and trembling with complete hysteria, I commanded: ‘Now tell me what you want me to do with you! But tell me slowly, looking me in the eye, with the crudest, the most ferociously erotic words that can make both of us feel the greatest shame!’ Then Gala, transforming the last glimmer of her expression of pleasure into the hard light of her own tyranny, answered: ‘I want you to kill me!’

He is somewhat disappointed by this demand, since it is merely what he wanted to do already. He contemplates throwing her off the bell-tower of the Cathedral of Toledo, but refrains from doing so.

George Orwell once described Dali this way:

"The two qualities that Dali unquestionably possesses are a gift for drawing and an atrocious egoism."

Art historian and critic Brian Sewell has also claimed that Dali once asked him to lie naked in front of one of his sculptures and masturbate whilst he watched.

He was also obsessed with Hitler in a perverse way.

While the vast majority of the Surrealist group professed far-Left political leanings, Dali kept curiously quiet during his early career, before being kicked out of the group for being a Nazi sympathiser, which he denied. Dali went on to make artwork addressing the Hitler, including “The Enigma of Hitler” (above) and “Hitler Masturbating”, once detailing that he “often dreamed of Hitler as a woman” and that the Nazi dictator “turned [him] on”.

He was a big old fascist who also supported the Spanish dictator Franco which made Picasso stop talking to him for the rest of his life. Orwell who fought in the Spanish civil war called Dali a "disgusting human being".

At age six, Dalí writes in his autobiography, he pre-meditated a "terrible kick" to his three-year-old sister's head "as though it had been a ball." Not simply childish not-knowing-better, this baseless cruelty continued as Dalí got older.

Here is an article that says more about his shitty behaviour.

Here is another article about his fcked up relationship with his sister

Saturn never fails to punish tho. It will let you fck up but punishment is imminent.

Dali died in his 80s, almost penniless, completely alone, as he had driven all his friends off decades prior, his wife had already passed and he was seriously ill and bedridden. He used button to call his nurse and one day that button short circuited and set him/the bed on fire. He suffered second and third degree burns all over his body. He lived for another four years in severe pain before passing away.

Just because you go a whole lifetime avoiding punishment, does not mean it isn't coming. People who suffer in old age have it the worst because you suffer 100x more

Dali was a Saturn defying narcissistic, violent, abusive person and guess what Saturn did? It saved it all up for the very end and left him without any kind of mercy. Friendless, penniless, bedridden, in excruciating pain, FOR YEARS until he finally died.

Saturn punishes you/is a harsh teacher because it wants you to uphold the Saturnian qualities of virtue, justice, fairness, doing your duty etc, you may never see the rewards of your good actions, so it may feel like a waste of time to keep being so principled but if you decide to just do whatever and disobey, you best believe Saturn will come through with that wrath. You have to keep being virtuous and morally upright even if you don't see yourself being "rewarded" for it. No one may recognise your goodness but keep being good anyway.

Alexander Graham Bell, Venus in UBP in 2h, Saturn in Shatabhisha in 1h

He is the guy who invented the telephone but he was also a very controversial deaf educator in his time.

Bell's father was a teacher of the deaf. His method of teaching the deaf was coined "Visible Speech." Bell's mother was deaf/hearing impaired and he would often speak to her by placing his mouth close to her forehead, believing the vibrations from his voice would help her distinguish speech more clearly.

Although he married a deaf woman, a former speech pupil, Mabel Hubbard, Bell strongly opposed intermarriage among congenitally deaf people. Bell feared "contamination" of the human race by the propagation of deaf people even though most deaf people statistically are born to hearing parents.

Bell applied his study of eugenics to his goal of preventing the creation of a deaf race and presented his paper Memoir Upon the Formation of a Deaf Variety of the Human Race to the National Academy of Sciences in 1883.4

Bell stated, "Those who believe as I do, that the production of a defective race of human beings would be a great calamity to the world, will examine carefully the causes that will lead to the intermarriage of the deaf with the object of applying a remedy."

In this paper, he proposed to reduce the number of the deaf by discouraging deaf-mute to deaf-mute marriages, advocating speech reading and articulation training for an oral-only method of education, removing the use of deaf teachers and sign language from the classroom.

Suggestions were made to enact legislation to prevent the intermarriage of deaf-mute people or forbidding marriage between families that have more than one deaf-mute member. His preventative strategies for deaf marriage included removing barriers to communication and interaction with the hearing world.

I feel like Saturnians often have a tendency to subconsciously make things harder for themselves and for others. Getting things easy is not Saturn's style. And this can manifest in sooooo many different ways. Bell grew up with a father who taught deaf people/children, his mother was deaf, he married a deaf woman YET he believed that they did not deserve to have separate schools that used communication tools specifically designed for them to make their lives easier. He spent his entire life working with deaf people but still somehow did not want things to be easier for them???

Steve Jobs, UBP moon

He had a pretty stellar reputation for being a major asshole. He was an extremely difficult person to work with and often terrorised his employees and was a toxic vile asshole to the women he dated.

Jobs was given up for adoption by his parents and later in life, he abandoned his girlfriend and baby after he got her pregnant.

His daughter Lisa later said that her mother felt uncomfortable leaving her with Steve alone after an incident in which he questioned and teased the then-nine-year-old Brennan-Jobs about her sexual attractions and proclivities.

Once, as Jobs groped his wife and pretended to be having sex with her, he demanded that Lisa stay in the room, calling it a "family moment."

It is well known that Steve Jobs was really good at conceptualizing things and coming up with ideas (touch screen phones, macbooks, iMacs etc) but he lacked the technical expertise to build anything. His partner, Steve Wozniak was the actual brains behind all of the creations to put it simply.

Early in his career, Jobs worked for the game developing company Atari who promised him a bonus of $5000 for developing a game called Breakout. Jobs did not have the know-how to execute this, so he made his friend Wozniak who worked at a different company stay up all night for 4 nights to design this whole ass game. He gave him $350 for it and told him he was giving him half of what the company paid him. Wozniak only found out much later that Steve basically stole his ideas, used him AND gave him a paltry sum as compensation.

Before Apple went public, Jobs refused to give any major shares to the many many developers and engineers who played a crucial role in pioneering the company. Wozniak gave those employees HIS shares so that they could make a profit when the company went public.

I'm not going to detail all the ways he tormented his employees and staff. You can google it.

Eventually, Saturn's karma started kicking in and Jobs was fired from the company he founded and for 10 years, he had to stay away from Apple. This experience humbled him a bit.

Apple really suffered in his absence and they brough him back in 1997 and we all know the kind of groundbreaking work he did in the next decade there. (hint: iphones, ipods etc)

In 2011, he found out he had terminal pancreatic cancer and resigned from his position and died 6 weeks later.

He refused to get surgery and chemo and chose "alternate treatments" until his disease had progressed so far that, there was no saving him.

He would eat a single thing and only that for weeks. Like apples. He'd eat only apples for three weeks. He was convinced that made him superior to everyone else and that it made him have no body odour, so he never showered either. This made it really hard for others to be around him.

Now back to his daughter, he was incredibly abusive to Lisa. She said she was forced to move home over 13 times before age seven as her mother struggled to pay the bills through a series of cleaning positions, while Jobs, then already a multi-millionaire, refused to help.

During one visit she innocently asked if she could be given his Porsche after learning the flashy vehicle had a scratch and needed to be replaced. His scowling response shocked Lisa, then aged seven.

“‘Absolutely not,’ he said in such a sour, biting way that I knew I’d made a mistake,” she remembers. “I understood that perhaps it wasn't true, the myth of the scratch: maybe he didn’t buy new ones. By that time I knew he was not generous with money, or food, or words; the idea of the Porsches had seemed like one glorious exception. I wished I could take it back. We pulled up to the house and he turned off the engine. Before I made a move to get out he turned to face me.

“‘You’re not getting anything,’” he said. “‘You understand? Nothing. You’re getting nothing.’ Did he mean about the car, something else, bigger? I didn’t know. His voice hurt—sharp, in my chest.” (an excerpt from her memoir 'Small Fry')

Saturn may delay punishment but it will punish and whether or not you learn from it, is up to you. Some individuals are not very malleable and they suffer the most. They make the same mistake over and over again and never learn. Steve died of any entirely preventable disease but he refused treatment. He was in excruciating pain towards his end and was completely bedridden. He expressed regret about not having gotten treatment sooner but :/

It's really scary how your karma catches up with you. Its the worst when it comes for you and leaves you with no time to remedy anything, so you just suffer agony knowing there is nothing you can do.

Woody Allen- Anuradha stellium (Sun, Mercury & Jupiter)

He molested his step daughter Dylan Farrow and is currently married to his former step daughter from the same marriage Soon Yi.

There has been a lot of misinformation regarding him molesting Dylan as a child even though the fact that he is literally married to one of his stepdaughters should be reason enough to suspect him

Allen had been in therapy for alleged inappropriate behavior toward Dylan with a child psychologist before the abuse allegation was presented to the authorities or made public. Mia Farrow had instructed her babysitters that Allen was never to be left alone with Dylan.

Allen refused to take a polygraph administered by the Connecticut state police. Instead, he took one from someone hired by his legal team. The Connecticut state police refused to accept the test as evidence. The state attorney, Frank Maco, says that Mia was never asked to take a lie-detector test during the investigation.

(Here is a link to the full article)

But again, Saturn's karmic lessons come through. Numerous actors have refused to work with Allen, he has been publicly condemned, lost all his reputation during #MeToo Actors such as Greta Gerwig, Colin Firth, and Mira Sorvino have recently apologized for accepting roles in Allen’s films, while many of his most avid fans have turned against him.

Johnny Cash, Rahu in UBP in 1h

Johnny was a drug addict and very abusive to his first wife. He creepily pursued June Carter while he was still married and despite her rejecting him MANY times, he did not give up. She was in a financially unfortunate position and he gave her the opportunity of touring with him, which she had to take up to make ends meet and finally in front of a live audience, he proposes marriage to her and basically forces her to say yes.

They remained married for 50 years and died within a year of each other so idk if they had a happy marriage or a troubled one but the Saturnian persistence was coming thru.

Cash's whole life is super Saturnian. His career came to a standstill in the 70s after a stellar decade long run in the 1960s, all throughout which he was abusing drugs.

In the early 1980s, Cash had eye surgery, broke several ribs, and damaged a kneecap, all on separate occasions, and again became addicted to pills. He was hospitalized in 1983 with internal bleeding that almost killed him. Upon regaining strength, he checked into the Betty Ford Clinic and remained clean until his death.

In 1994, after a looooong period of zero hits and chart play. He collabed with Rick Rubin (the GOAT) and then released a number of successful albums until he passed away in 2003 and from 1997 onwards he had been struggling with autonomic neuropathy and was frequently hospitalized.

Its interesting to me how between 1954 to 1973, Cash was undergoing his Saturn mahadasha and this period brought him enormous success and also made him completely addicted to substances. In 1965, he started a forest fire that burned off 500 acres of forest land and killed 49 of the refuge's 53 endangered condors. When confronted about it, he said "I don't care about your damn yellow buzzards".

From 1973-1990, he was undergoing his Mercury dasha, and this was a very low period in his career as he suffered major setbacks.

As he's sobering up at the Carter's family ranch, he's walking along a path. One of their ostriches is standing in the path. Well Cash thinks to himself "Hell if I'm moving" and tries to move it, so the bird starts trying to headbutt/peck at him, so he swings a punch at the bird, it responds by splitting his goddamn abdomen open with it's talon, from top to bottom. (he said the only thing that stopped the talon was it got stuck on his leather belt and couldn't go further). So he's laying on the ground, and grabs a branch (or an old fence post, can't remember) and starts beating it from the ground until it runs away.

Its interesting how his major highs in life were during his Saturn MD (He has Saturn in Uttarashada in 11h) and his biggest blows came during his Mercury MD (he does have Mercury in Shatabhisha in 12h 😬).

Mercury is not an inherently difficult dasha the way Saturn is. But what we sow, we shall reap. Saturn gives you 19 years to get your shit together and if you don't really learn during this period, it gets on your ass long after that. Jennie from Blackpink ended her Saturn MD in 2019 and some of her career's biggest moments have come since then but so have the controversies (she's currently in her Mercury MD) and it's as though the lingering after effects of the Saturn dasha really dictates how we experience our Mercury dasha.

Winston Churchill, Anuradha Sun

In 1943 in Bengal, over 3 million people died due to starvation and Churchill was directly responsible for this.

Churchill deliberately ordered the diversion of food from starving Indian civilians to well-supplied British soldiers and even to top up European stockpiles, meant for yet-to-be-liberated Greeks and Yugoslavs (all of this happened during WW2 for context)

He basically said, this is none of my business. Even though millions of Indian soldiers fought for the British during WW2 and were British subjects until India gained independence in 1947. Also btw India was the biggest contributor to the Empire's GDP. they looted and plundered us and left us to starve, basically.

In the book, Churchill’s Secret War: The British Empire and the Ravaging of India during World War II, written by Madhusree Mukerjee, Churchill was quoted as blaming the famine on the fact Indians were “breeding like rabbits”, and asking how, if the shortages were so bad, Mahatma Gandhi was still alive. 😡🤬😠he was a racist imperialist pig to say the least.

Some people are Churchill defenders and genuinely believe that the Bengal famine was a necessary sacrifice to win the war, and that those who critiqued him were unfair and had little insight about WWII. Aka: the colonized are expendable in a war between essentially imperialist, genocidal and fascist states. And they can kiss my ass.

To Indians, Churchill is a Hitler-like figure and rightfully so.

"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place."

Winston Churchill to Peel commission in 1937.

Here is a thread that elaborates the many fcked up things he did.

When I talk about how cruel, brutal and callous Saturnian men can be, this is what I mean. Saturn restricts, limits and binds. This can easily mean Saturnians subject themselves and others to unnecessary rules, restrictions and limits.

Steve Jobs thought he was superior to others bc he only ate one type of food for weeks and months. Just because someone has discipline, does not automatically mean its good to have it. Free range parents can suck because they dont protect you or shelter you but disciplinarian parents also suck. Both Jupiter and Saturn struggle to learn "balance".

An unevolved Saturnian will be stingy af, very partial, biased and ill mannered. They act like cave men.

Churchill struggled with his mental health his whole life. He referred to it his “black dog:” fits of melancholia that followed Churchill throughout his life and often left him bedridden, suicidal and unshakably depressed for months at a time. It may sound cruel to say poor mental health is "karma" for his actions. (He also suffered 7 strokes and the final one, killed him). But the ways in which we are punished are often not materially obvious??? We may see terrible people thrive but often they are really suffering on the inside. Saturn often punishes by depriving you of peace of mind :/

Thomas Alva Edison, Anuradha Rising

In 1884, Nikola Tesla moved to New York City to meet Edison, who was famous for his low-voltage, direct-current electricity. Tesla believed the higher-voltage alternating current electricity was superior and suggested creating an AC-powered motor, but Edison claimed it was too dangerous. Instead, Edison promised the recent immigrant $50,000 (over $1 million today) if he could improve upon his DC generators, or “dynamos.”

After toiling for several months and making significant advances, he returned for his reward, only for Edison to say, “When you become a full-fledged American, you will appreciate an American joke.” Tesla quit—but the bullying didn’t stop there.

George Westinghouse had purchased Tesla’s patents and became the pioneering force behind AC power and its widespread implementation. Edison, who was ideologically and financially invested in his own DC power, began a publicity campaign against AC power. The campaign was ruthless; he wanted to prove that the high voltage of AC power was too dangerous for public use, so he and his cohorts began publicly electrocuting animals—stray dogs and cats, cattle and horses, and even, notoriously, “Topsy” the elephant. (you can hate me for pointing out how unevolved Saturnians abuse animals all you want but it will not stop it from being true<333)

The story gets worse. Edison was asked whether electrocution was a humane method of execution. In reply, he claimed that with Westinghouse’s AC power, it was indeed a humane and reliable execution. Westinghouse of course tried to prevent such an association, but Harold Brown, one of Edison’s employees, was hired by the state of New York to build the first electric chair. Obviously, he used AC power.

The execution—the first use of the electric chair—took place on August 6, 1890. AC power proved neither reliable nor humane. The first, 17-second-long charge failed to kill the man, an alleged axe murderer; after waiting for the generator to recharge and amping up the voltage, the next charge at last brought an end to the horrible, 8-minute long ordeal. Westinghouse, disgusted, reportedly said, “They would have done better with an axe.”

For his last two years, a series of ailments caused his health to decline even more until he lapsed into a coma and died at the age of 84.

Bo Burnham, Venus/Jupiter/Ketu in Pushya and Anuradha Rising

He does have a reputation for being a dick but I wanted to mention him because I think his sense of humour is VERY Saturnian. He has this tendency to humble his audience and its super Saturncoded to me. Like his whole shtick is serving you with a reality check in a slightly condescending way which is extremely Saturnian.

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He often makes "ironically" misogynistic jokes or whatever and its laced with that Saturnian bitterness except he's slightly self aware I guess.

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Aziz Ansari, Venus & Mars in UBP and Jupiter in Anuradha

Tbh other than the fact that his stand up comedy routines are hella lame, I dont really have much dirt on him.

However, he did sexually assault a woman in 2018 and nobody has heard much from him since tbh. I guess its an example of "instant karma".

Mads Mikkelsen, Anuradha Sun conjunct Ketu

Mads aka the man who made a career out of playing the bad guy

This isn't about Mads but about his most well known role, playing Hannibal Lecter.

Hannibal imo is very very Saturncoded

He is highly intelligent and cultured, with refined tastes and impeccable manners. He is deeply offended by rudeness, and often kills people who exhibit bad manners; according to the novel Hannibal, he "prefers to eat the rude". Hopkins described Lecter as the "Robin Hood of killers", who kills "the terminally rude".

Saturnians are either extremely refined or very unkempt. There is no in-between. You can always tell when someone has an imbalanced Saturn influence based on how disorderly, messy and chaotic they are.

In the novel Red Dragon, the protagonist, Will Graham, says that psychologists refer to Lecter as a sociopath "because they don't know what else to call him". Graham says "he has no remorse or guilt at all", and tortured animals as a child, (👀) but he does not exhibit any of the other criteria traditionally associated with sociopathy. Asked how he himself would describe Lecter, Graham responded, "he's a monster. I think of him as one of those pitiful things that are born in hospitals from time to time. They feed it, and keep it warm, but they don't put it on the machines and it dies. Lecter is the same way in his head, but he looks normal and nobody could tell."

Hannibal embodies the disciplined, orderly conduct of an evolved Saturnian along with the cruelty and harshness of it.

Charlie Puth, Anuradha Sun & Mars

half of this guy's discography is about how he hates women from LA. He literally has one song called "Nothing But Trouble (Instagram Models)" and it's just about how instagram models make problems. He has another song called "L.A. Girls" about how women in LA are fungible. It's like yeah maybe instagram models do suck but no one made you date them???

These are lyrics from the song LA Girls:

"There was Nikki, Nicole, Tiffany, and Heather But there's only room for you in my world But you say that I changed like the east coast weather How the hell did I get caught up? Messin' with these LA girls"

When I tell you the Madonna-Whore complex runs DEEP with Saturnian men. They will fool around with you and think of YOU as "cheap" for doing so and fall for the girl who never gives it up. The double standards of Saturnians are 🤮🤢

They will get frisky and frivolous with you and judge you for it :/

Woody Harrelson, Pushya Sun, Anuradha Moon

When I think of unkempt Saturnians, I think Woody Harrelson lmao

While filming in London in 2002, Harrelson found himself at a bar when two women approached him. According to the actor, the women asked if he wanted to "take a walk on the wild side." To which Harrelson replied, "I guess I do." A third woman joined in the fun, and the foursome returned to Harrelson's accommodations and enjoyed what the outlet described as "whatever-happened-next." Unfortunately for the Rampart star, "a paparazzo was able to snap a photo that soon hit the tabloids." The worst part — his then-girlfriend and future-wife Laura Louie saw these photos in the press. This "led to a good bit of groveling on Harrelson's part," and the couple worked past the incident.

I think I have noticed about manyyyy Saturnian men is that they often have enabler wives who put up with their shit + encourage it. Steve Jobs' wife, Laurene Powell was like that. Steve was such a perfectionist that he did not even buy furniture for their house and yk what?? she was okay with that lol and they remained married until his death even though literally everybody who has ever known him describes him as an asshole.

Woody Allen's still married to Soon Yi who is also entirely defensive about him. Same goes for Harrelson's wife I guess. How on earth does someone work past a foursome??? wtf

"I used to go to bars and fight the guys I thought were bullies. I've got scars everywhere," he revealed to The Hollywood Reporter. His fighting ways continued even after becoming a famous actor. Like when he once punched a reporter and claimed he thought the photographer was a zombie.

Saturnians never beating the abusive rumours 😩

On a different note, I've noticed how many Saturnian musicians make sad boy music with a ✨spiritual essence ✨

Sufjan Stevens is a UBP Moon

This is from a 2015 interview:

"I still describe myself as a Christian, and my love of God and my relationship with God is fundamental, but its manifestations in my life and the practices of it are constantly changing. I find incredible freedom in my faith. Yes, the kingdom of Christianity and the Church has been one of the most destructive forces in history, and there are levels of bastardization of religious beliefs. But the unique thing about Christianity is that it is so amorphous and not reductive to culture or place or anything. It's extremely malleable."

Tamino, UBP Moon

He said in an interview:

"We like to look at religious texts from all over the world, [and] they always share a lot of similarities. That's not because they necessarily influenced each other, it's more that our inherent experience as humans comes out through storytelling. It's awesome. So that's something that's really interesting: the story that we need to tell. And the stories that we tell will always survive longest. I think it sort of gives them a higher truth, a metaphysical truth, which makes religion quite beautiful to me. You don't have to necessarily believe in every little thing that's described in a book. I'm not a practicing believer—not in the classical sense. But I do have faith. I think a lot of people have faith without realizing [it]. Even waking up and starting your day, we all have like these little acts of fate throughout our lives without even noticing."

Hozier- Anuradha Moon

Faith is a big theme in their work and their lives and I feel like they are some evolved Saturnian men who have embraced the stoic spirituality of Saturn and poured it into their creativity.

In one interview, Hozier described Quakerism as a doctrine which taught him during childhood “to look for the God in each person” and “the spark of the divine that’s in every individual.” In particular, Hozier seeks this spark in his lover.

Its interesting to me how all 3 of them use religious metaphors often to speak of love because the ultimate form of love is devotion and Saturnians who have transcended the grips of limitations imposed by Saturn understand this more than anybody. They know what its like to love like their life depends on it.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger, Pushya Sun

Many Saturnians love to talk about working hard and kicking ass. Arnold is one of them, although I will say his preachiness comes from his Punarvasu stellium lmao

Arnold is a good example of a man who has worked very very hard and abided by every Saturnian principle to climb the ladder to the top. Yet he cheated on his wife with his housekeeper. He however did not deny paternity of the son he fathered with her. He has also expressed his regret about cheating and how he lost his marriage.

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Kim Kardashian, UBP Moon

She came under fire for her comments about "get your ass up and do the work" but honestly it's just Saturnian tough love

Kim is a good example of someone who has turned every single setback into a career opportunity. She is a true hustler. Obviously she's extremely privileged yada yada yada but she was Paris Hilton's assistant at one point and was at the bottom of the ladder. In 20 years she's built a fortune for herself and her family. Like, if it were Kourtney in Kim's place 🤡they wouldn't be where they are rn. Kim is a worker and its hard to deny that.

Rose- UBP Moon

In her interview with Vogue Australia, she said:

“I ended up fighting for my life, training for my life. Because I couldn’t accept the fact that I’d just be cut and sent back, so I had no time to slack off. I remember I took every minute and every second to work on my craft so that I [could] make it,”

“When I got [to Korea], I was like, ‘This is quite intense,’” she said of the early period of training. “I notice[d] that there [were] 12 other girls who had been training day and night for about five years. And I had just gotten there.” She feared that if she didn’t catch up to the other she would be cut and sent back to Australia, where she’d already told her school friends that she was dropping out to work on her music. "

“I [had] left and I didn’t want to fly back [to Australia] without having achieved anything,” she said of her worry at the time. “And I think it was a good drive. Just the fact that I had flown all the way from Australia gave me more strength [and] determination to strive.”

Hardworking Saturnians ✊🏼🙏🏼🧎‍♀️making the most of that Saturnian determination and reaping its rewards OOF

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