#absolute pathetic move. jeez

[allerod]

[llamagoddessofficial]

Can you believe I've never done Farmtale Sans before? As a certified country girl? Shocking, I know. I'll rectify this issue with my latest brainrot scenario immediately

---

“whoever this is, it better be real fuckin’ important,” the voice at the other end said, gruff and tired, heavy with a mix of annoyance and sleepiness.

Immediately, shame washed over you. The very small amount of steam you’d managed to muster up completely dissipated from your body as you imagined Sans’ disappointed and disbelieving reaction to your pathetic request.

This was a mistake.

“... H-hey. Uhm... I’m fine, I didn’t mean to call. Butt dial, hahah.” Your voice nearly cracked. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“... wait.” His voice instantly changed. “hey, don’t hang up-”

You didn’t hear the rest of what he said. You hung up, and put the phone down. Now you were right back to square one, sitting at the kitchen table in a freezing empty house at 2 in the morning. It had taken you almost half an hour to muster up the courage to call him- thirty minutes of sitting by the phone, wrapped up in your coat, shaking and holding back tears. You started plotting places you were going to sleep. Maybe if you put more wood in the kitchen stove, you could just sleep at the table until morning. 

... You inherited this place from your grandmother. It was a ‘rustic’ house that hadn’t seen human company for over a decade, in the middle of the deep countryside, cut off from almost everything. Spooky, draughty, on nights like tonight sitting in the kitchen was like sitting in a fridge. You had moved out of necessity- your landlord in the city had evicted you from your beloved apartment to jack up his prices, and you couldn’t find anywhere else to live except this middle-of-nowhere house left in your name.

You had lived in the city your whole life. You weren’t used to being in the country, not at all. The month you’d spent here had only reinforced that fact to you, over and over.

Something made a noise outside. An animal, maybe. You curled your coat tighter around you.

The only upside so far had been meeting the monsters that made up the tight-knit community you had been unceremoniously dropped into. Papyrus and Sans, especially, had been so wonderful and helpful. Sans had told you to call if you needed anything.

... Which was exactly why you didn’t have the heart to tell him why you were really calling. You didn’t want him to think any worse of you than he probably already did. A stuck-up city girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing.

You were scared.

... 

The phone rang. The sound made you jump, it felt so loud in the silence. Despite your increasing shame, and the desire to just let it ring... you picked up.

“c’mon, don’t be like that.” He sounded much softer than when he had first answered. “what’s wrong? something happen?”

“N-no.” Hearing someone else’s voice was so comforting. You felt so alone, far away from everyone. “It’s nothing.”

You obviously weren’t very convincing. “doesn’t seem like nothing. you sound terrified.”

“I’m just cold.”

“didja kill someone? do i need to come over and help hide a body?”

You couldn’t help it, that made you giggle a little.

...

It just came. You didn’t entirely know why. Probably because it was two, and you hadn’t slept since six the previous morning. Unable to help yourself, you just... burst into tears.

“hey. s’ok, you’re gonna be ok. i’m on the way.”

“N-no, no, please,” You pressed your sleeve against your eyes The shame was absolutely overwhelming. “Please don’t come,”

“too late. already outta bed, it’s serious business. you gonna tell me what’s got you all shaken up?”

You pulled your knees up to your face. Well, no hiding it now, huh? He’d heard you sobbing over the phone. Your voice crumpled under a mixture of tears, fear, immense fatigue and shame. You felt like such a baby. 

“Th-there’s a huge spider on my bed,” you finally admitted, feebly. “I-I’m... I don’t know what to do.”

“aw jeez. why didn’t you just say?”

You could suddenly barely talk through the crying. Hours of stress, all coming out in one mess. He probably thought you were pathetic.

“hey. knock knock.”

As he said that, you heard two soft knocks on your side door. You jumped up, what the hell? Was that Sans? You dropped the phone and rushed to the door to let him in, almost tripping over yourself. 

You opened the door, the air was full of the sound of wind and crickets. Sans stood in the darkness outside of the house, dressed in a thick knitted sweater, blue and white striped pyjama bottoms, big heavy boots, and a coat over the top of it all. He had the phone in one hand, and his smile widened when he saw you.

Shocked, you scrubbed at your eyes and nose again, self consciously trying to wipe off the tears and snot. He lived half an hour's drive from you. “H-how... how did you get here so fast?”

“shortcut.” He winked, those lovely emerald green eyelights glimmering in the low light. “can i come in?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice, stepping to the side. Maybe he knew roads your map apps didn't. Sans eagerly came into the light, kicking off his shoes and closing the door behind him.

“this way?” he asked. 

... You showed him to the bedroom, but cowered in the doorway. 

“I-it’s under the sheet.”

Sans didn’t even hesitate. He approached the bed and flipped back the sheet. The spider hadn’t moved since you last saw it scurry under your bedclothes, still sitting right there, with its fat hairy body and sharp legs. It was probably the biggest spider you had ever seen in your entire life. You felt a horrible chill pass over you.

“dang. he is big. look at the size of that gangly fucker.”

Having said that, Sans just... grabbed it. He picked the spider up before it could run and held it in his enclosed fist like he was scooping up a penny he had dropped on the floor. Just like that, he moved across the room and pulled back the curtain, cracked the window open, stuck his arm out, and threw the spider out into the darkness.

He closed the window again. The air felt less heavy. He even tugged the handle to make sure the window was all properly sealed up, pulling the curtains closed again.

It took him all of fifteen seconds.

“all good.” He turned to you, grinning and showing you his open palms. No spider. “successfully evicted.”

...

You started crying again. 

Sans mumbled a soft ‘aw jeez’. He didn’t hesitate to cross the room, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a warm hug, ignoring your babbled apologies. 

“he really spooked ya, huh?” A gentle hand smoothed over your hair. He smelled like sweet hay, hours of sunshine, and something slightly musky. “how long were you tryna drum up the courage?”

“T-two hours,” you sobbed, muffled in his sweater.

You’d expected him to laugh at you. But he didn’t. He just held you, letting you cry out all the stress that had been building up over the course of the night. You were pretty sure this was the first time you had been hugged since before you left the city.

Eventually, you calmed yourself down, reducing to just hiccups. Sans didn’t let go until you did, allowing you to pull away, but keeping a steadying hand on your arm. 

“easy, pet.” His voice was so warm and soothing. “you’re all good.”

“Fucking... I’m just such a baby.” Your sleeves were damp from all of the tear wiping you were doing. You made an unattractive sniffling sound. “You didn’t even hesitate.”

“cus i’m used to ‘em. also, i’m a skeleton, so i don’t gotta worry about being bitten. no shame in bein’ scared of the big ones.” 

Your voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry you came out all this way.”

“... did you think i’d be mad at you?” he asked, softly.

“M-mhm.”

“i really don’t mind bein’ yer bug removing hero." He patted his nonexistent bicep. "tell ya what, it makes me feel very big an’ tough.”

He had you giggling again. He always did. He seemed proud of himself- his presence was balm to your Soul right now. 

“I just... I get so scared at night.” Your cheeks were hot. “It’s so quiet, and dark. I feel like I’m the only person around for miles. I don’t know why I thought I could do this.”

"this?"

"Living out here."

“hey, i beg to differ. yer already doin’ so much better than most who move to these parts.”

You looked up at him. Why did that tiny bit of praise make your heart swell so much? You didn’t feel like you were doing ‘better’. You’d just called your nearest neighbour at 2 in the morning to come save you from a spider. “But I’m always asking for help.”

“exactly. you’re askin’. that’s the important part.” His eyelights were so warm. “that’s how we make it work, out here. we help each other.”

Goddamnit. You were gonna cry again. You just about managed to choke it down.

“... the animal noises also probably freak you out too, huh?”

“Y-yeah, hah.”

“if you don’t know what yer hearin’, it can be pretty scary.”

... You sniffled.

...

“... you’re shaking. d’ya want me to stay?”

How did he know? He always just seemed to know. You nodded, meekly. You didn’t want to be alone right now, and you knew the house would feel even colder and emptier once you’d known how it felt while you had company.

“Will Papyrus be worried?”

“he knew i was headin’ out to help ya. he’ll be fine.”

... You didn’t need to say out loud where you wanted Sans to sleep. Both of you knew.

The two of you finally took off your coats, and Sans turned off the lights. His forest-coloured eyelights were the only illumination in the room. As soon as he shuffled into bed beside you, you gratefully curled up against him, he was so calming and so warm. He reciprocated, wrapping his big arms around you, his comforting smell soothing your shot nerves. 

“... Thank you.” Your voice was almost a whisper.

“yer really warm.” he hummed. “just so you know, i’m a bit of a snorer.”

You probably should’ve been more concerned, sharing a bed in a very secluded location with a guy you barely knew. But you didn’t have the energy for it. For the first time in a long time, you were warm, didn’t feel lonely, and weren’t worried at all about bugs. 

“I don’t mind.”

... It was the best night’s sleep you’d ever had.

[missmarveledsblog]

Just like him ( Lloyd Hansen x Reader)

SUMMARY : She is beauty , she is grace and she will shoot you in the face, when y/n father needs an arranged marriage there is only one man that can handle his daughter

warning: violence , language and well its lloyd hansen fic so probably everything let be real

"This is absolute bullshit".

Again her dumb ass so called doting father was trying to arrange her marriage because well he fucked up and ended up in a mess . so now she had to meet another one of these idiots , last time didn't end too well when the creep couldn't listen to simple request like stop touching her when unwanted during the meeting of the arrangement . she seen her father's nervous shifting,gazing between her and the then soon to be husband ( at the time ) . Not because he was scared of the other family, it was the fear of his daughter and it was clear with the irritation on her face. After giving him 10 warnings and waited patiently ( for her ) she decided she had enough when the guy tried to move his hand some place it shouldn't which led her to grab the knife from his belt and drove it into his thigh .

"jesus fuck" her dads right hand man nick fowler tried his hardest not to laugh while ari levinson couldn't hold back the barking laugh as she skipped out of the office innocently .

" i told you boss he wouldn't be able for her but i might know someone much better than this pussy " nick chuckled .

" i do to nicky but jeez its getting princess to agree " ari barked unable to stop laughing at scene that just fell before him .

so here she was two months later awaken to the news the new suitor will arrive that morning for breakfast . her dad explained relentlessly to keep it together and to go along with his wishes he needed this to come together for sake of the family with being the only child and female sadly if he were to pass his words were always " you would be lamb in a den of wolves" . nick did try defend saying she would be the most dangerous wolf but her father wouldn't listen

. "Y/n come on princess time to get ready he will be here soon " the maid squeaked scared and yet knowing she had to because her father was the boss .

"this is it "she felt bad in a sense for her father for embarrassing him but that fucker should of kept his hands to himself simple decency . she adorned her yellow sundress looking like the sweetest innocent angel and simple frilly ankle socks made her way throughout the house and to her fathers office .

she seen nick and ari talking with tall man she knew who it was by the back alone . the loud and crude mouth had made her laugh at functions ,

" this might be fun" nick whisper nodding his head

" or could be putting two atomic bombs together in a room full of grenades" ari nudged the tall gentlemen for him to turn around . before anyone spoke she felt a slap to her ass making her yelp . as lloyds jaw clenched and before he could step forward nick simply shook his head and mouthed the words " watch " .

She spun around to see a fat cocky asshole smiling like cat that got the cream , he must of been new cause he certainly didn't know why the room went so quiet an how he wanted to prove he was big shot and opened his big shot mouth .

" wow boss really gets the top whores i might ask him for a shot of you after he's done with you ". Her sickly sweet smile as she sat prettily on the mans lap most the men were uneasy lloyd taken in the mood in the room as nick and ari simply smirked they all knew something was going to go down, lloyd could only watch.

" oh hi big boy you think i'm a classy whore " the sweetness in her voice would have a priest gushing .

" yeah sweets you think you handle me " even his breathing was pathetic , she was convinced her father must of felt sorry for this one . She grabbed his hand batting , her eyelashes as she put the dickheads hand on the arm of the chair reaching the holster strapped to her thigh pulling it out .

Again just gave that sweet smile as she said " well it nice to meet ya big boy my names Yn " . his smile dropped to the burning sensation in his hand and the ringing in his ears as she stood up and walked to nick , ari and lloyd .

" hello gentlemen how are we this morning " she was smiling as walking by. lloyd could swear she were some kind of fucked up angel , her voice alone drowned out the fat fuck of his own man she just shot in the hand .

" man someone shut that fat fuck up and get him out of here he's lucky i dont shoot him between his fat face " lloyd growled not having any man ruin this mood . With that the angel was gone into the office infront looking at them like nothing happened .

" Yn what did you do " he father sighed .

" in my defense i thought he was one of ours but he deserved it none the less sorry mr. hansen " batting her lashes and oh so sweet pout on her lips and the smirk in her eyes

" its ok the fat fuck should of had manners, took him as favour to a friend of mine . The boys could tell lloyd was in one hundred percent after that . her crazy match his in a flawless disaster .

they sat taking about the arrangements and the conditions which Yn zoned out halfway through and took to reading a book in the corner of the sofa in the office .

" so princess you have a habit of stabbing and shooting people " lloyd joked as her father winced at the words .

" only if they deserve it Mr. Hansen" she sounded like an innocent angel to him like she was talking about puppies and rainbows , that was it she had to be his . he didn't even care for the other shit he was just addicted to this evil little angel in front of him .

" well watche say pumpkin wanna get hitched " he grinned ear to ear. her father on other hand looked nervous again for her reaction .

" sure why not ... hey is breakfast ready im starving " she said getting up and swaying her hips leaving the men speechless .

yes ari and nick knew Lloyd would say yes but they thought she would put up much more of a fight .

" well congratulations to all i guess " ari spoke still shocked he definitely thinking lloyd was going have to take her against her will . kicking and screaming or atleast a shooting match.

" come on gentlemen let's not waste this beautiful breakfast oh and wash your hands first " your voice called.

" well lets not keep the future Mrs. Hansen waiting" Lloyd clapped his hands and went out the office to follow future Mrs hansen , his perfect like demon because hey she was just like him .

[beauty-and-passion]

Love Olympus: the "charming" lessons we learned from it

Hi! Are you searching for a good story, filled with creativity, care, coherence and beautiful art style? Then please, turn left and you will find something worth your time.

Here we will talk about that beautiful, terrible disaster that is Lore Olympus. Ah, it's always so nice to read a new retelling of Greek mythology and find out it's basically the same 200 stereotypes slapped together into something that's way older and staler than the original. What did my ancestor ever do to the world, to be treated like that.

But I've already talked about what a waste of potential Lore Olympus is, how pathetic the writing is and how bad the protagonists are. I've spent more than enough words commenting on why this series could've been great and came out like this.

Now there's only one thing left: to make fun of it. To draw our conclusions on the whole thing and the finale and find out what "wonderful" messages we got from it.

Don't worry: the messages are absolutely wonderful and I'm not sarcastic, not at aaaaall.

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Planning in advance is for the weak

Don't you know how to fill your third season, after the "battle" that closed season 2? No problem! People will read you anyway, so instead of planning and moving the plot forward, waste everyone's time writing chapter after chapter of pure nothingness: your characters can have discussions so stupid, that people will question if they have been written by using ChatGPT. That will surely prove what a great writer you are!

And don't worry too much about the plot: just wait until inspiration magically falls from the sky. That's how it works, isn't it? Stories are just random events slapped together, with no planning, care or coherence whatsoever. When we write a story, we don't want to treat our readers like intelligent human beings, oh no: people are idiots, so we can just throw them the first shit that pops out of our minds and everything will be fine.

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Coherence is for the weak

After waiting for inspiration (that somehow hasn't fallen from the sky yet, jeez I wonder why), you still don't know what to do with your plot? Easy, use one of the villains! Like the rapist guy! Now he's running for President.

Yes, we know there is a monarchy in this land, because there is a king, but it doesn't matter. The rapist is trying to be President now. President of what, you ask? It doesn't matter! Presidents exist, right? So he's trying to be one, that's all you need to know.

Will he become President? He's running from it, that's all! You don't need to know what happens after that! As we all know, stories do not have closed plot points, they're just random shit thrown around. So why care about solving a problem you just raised? Just forget it, it's not important.

Is the story supposed to take place in Olympus or, at least, in Greece? Well, what's the problem? As we all know, Europe and the US are basically the same thing, so how different can Greece and America be?

I mean: one is a huge country with many climate zones and wide areas, the other is a small, hot country mostly made of mountains and islands. One has a millennia-years-old culture that influenced the entirety of the West, the other is literally called the New World, to emphasize how young it is. Same place.

So, since they're so similar they're basically identical, just fill your Greece with American stuff and give your characters English names. Greece is notoriously full of English names. It's not like there are millions of people with similar names because parents give their own parents' names to their offspring and sometimes all siblings give their parents' names to all their children and the result is that your cousins all have the same goddamn name and you all came up with nicknames to distinguish between them.

No, that's not based on personal experience, what makes you think that.

_______________________________

The protagonist is better than anyone else

Is Zeus telling you he wants to give his child to some nymphs, because he knows won't be a good father? Well, clearly the most normal thing to do is steal his baby. No, not because you're a psychopath, but because you clearly know how to handle the baby better than some nymphs. Remember: you are the protagonist, hence you are better at everything anyone can do, especially a stupid nymph. You will care for the baby more and better than anyone else, no doubt.

Is the child you stole running around without supervision? But you took care of him! You even hired a babysitter! No, of course you didn't spend time with him, you were busy! What? It could've been better to leave the child with the nymphs as Zeus wanted, because at least they would've spent their time with the child and not hired someone else to do it? Listen, we don't work with logic here and you are the protagonist, so of course all of your decisions are perfect and should never be questioned.

Speaking of kids: is your mother telling you she had a son who died? Time for some favoritism! Your husband is the god of the dead, so death isn't a problem anymore. What? Death is supposed to be impossible to overcome? But you're the protagonist, so the mere mortals' rules do not apply to you. Death is nothing, compared to your perfection.

Oh no, you accidentally caused winter! And a genocide! But remember: you're the protagonist, so of course you're always perfect. And you didn't do it on purpose, so you're automatically innocent and people attacking you are just mean and jealous.

See? You're so perfect, you found a way to solve the problem! How? Easy, by believing in yourself ✨✨✨ And by talking (badly) about how life and death are linked. Yes, we know it's the equivalent of saying that 2+2=4, but we don't want to treat our readers like intelligent people, here. All they have to do is just revel in your perfection.

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More villains! Because Yes!

Do you still have no idea what to do with your plot, after too many useless chapters? Easy, use the cartoonish supervillain! He will do the trick! And throw another naked woman to defeat him: it worked once, it'll work again.

Is your cartoonish supervillain actually useless? No problem, make another villain even more useless. And make him appear out of thin air for two chapters. And since readers are stupid, just tell them that he was the evil mastermind behind everything. They'll eat it up.

Oh, and President Loser is in cahoots with SuperMegaVillain now. Why? Because Yes, of course.

You don't know how to defeat SuperMegaVillain? 🧑‍🤝‍🧑Avengers Assemble🧑‍🤝‍🧑and you're done. It worked for Marvel, it'll work for your story too. I know it's settled in Greece and fertility goddesses do not have resurrection powers or whatever the fuck they're doing, but shhhhh.

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Random justice is good

With all those villains to defeat, you forgot your story is supposed to be a retelling of the myth of Hades and Persephone? No problem, just stick a "Gaia Ex-Machina" here and let her solve the story with a power and authority she doesn't have. No one will notice the difference.

Speaking of justice: is the rapist gonna get the punishment he deserves? Sure, get this: he will fall in love with you and turn himself in. And he will get community service as punishment.

Are you saying that this isn't a real punishment? But of course it is! He turned himself in! The victim isn't allowed to expose him, nor to see him actually getting punished. All the victim can do is walk away. It's not that lack of control is a big deal for a rape victim, right? And seeing the rapist finally get punished won't give them the catharsis they need, right? And it definitely won't free them of the huge weight they carry on, because of the awful, horrible act they suffered from, right?

Of course not, so ah ah ah, the rapist gets to build places, very funny. And aside from that stupid punishment, of course he's free to walk around and, who knows?, maybe rape someone else. Wow, justice truly works well in this place! I would feel so safe to go around there!

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Queer people are stupid too (and ghosts, sometimes)

All those villains could've been great in a story centered around Zeus? We don't work with Zeus here: we hate men, all men except for the capitalist hubby of our dreams. So Zeus is a useless piece of shit and he will keep being a useless piece of shit until the end. Also, he's not a real king anymore, because apparently democracy popped out of nowhere and everyone just rolls with it. I wonder why it too centuries to accept it all over the world...

And Hera is a lesbian now. Why? I already told you we don't work with logic here. She's a lesbian because queer people are idiots too, so thrown them a queer character and they will like it, doesn't matter if it makes zero sense.

Uh? Are you saying that asexual and aromantic people exist too? No, of course not: they're just waiting for the hot lesbian of their dreams or for the hubby that will turn them into wives and mothers.

Hence why the organization centered around celibacy closed: it was just a cover for lesbians after all! And we all know that women can only be lesbians or mothers. A woman doesn't want or feel any romantic attraction? She doesn't exist, then.

Wow people, I don't exist! I'm a ghost!

_______________________________

Feminism means gender stereotypes

As Wikipedia says, feminism is:

"... a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes."

But Wikipedia is stupid, while we won a shit ton of prizes for some reason, so we're the good authors here. And we decided that feminism means "women good, men bad". This definitely isn't a point of view based on a warping of the original concept of feminism, that focused on helping women because, since societies are patriarchal, men already have a powerful position. Hence why, feminism fought (and fights) to give women a powerful position too: to make both genders on the same plane.

But nope, this is all stupid and wrong and doing research is underrated - after all, we wrote a story entirely based on the first shit that popped into our mind, so why do research about this? Let's focus on the superficial vision of feminism and fight for women's equality, by making them lesbians or mothers.

Because sure, feminism is good, but capitalism is better. And since capitalism wants you to have kids, go home to your rich hubby and have a ton of kids you definitely won't neglect, like the child you stole or the supposed godson you never cared about and only after he's an adult "sometimes" you have a conversation with. That's how a perfect, traditional family works, after all. And we know this didn't lead to any generational trauma at aaaaall.

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In conclusion

I don't know if you noticed the teeny tiny veil of sarcasm in my words. I know, it was so subtle, almost invisible. I made it oh-so-hard to find it, please let me know how hard it was.

But you know what? This story is over and I needed to let some sarcasm out. I am finally free to read something else, possibly (hopefully!) better.

And the next time I will approach another retelling... who am I kidding, I know I will fall for it like an idiot because that's what I do every time. They get me with something I love and once I find out it's shitty, I keep reading because I want to see how bad it is.

In this, Lore Olympus didn't disappoint: I expected something bad, I got something bad. And, sometimes, it was so bad, to make me laugh, so extra points for the stupidity: I appreciate something that makes me laugh, way more than something that makes me angry.

And, as I said in my previous posts, even something bad is useful, because it teaches you how NOT to do something.

So thank you, Lore Olympus, for being a terrible teacher. And thank you for making me appreciate the original myths even more. There's a reason why they still stand after millennials and can still capture the popular imagination, while this series will probably be forgotten in a couple years.

To you all, my readers: if you managed to reach the end of LO like me, congrats for surviving it, I hope you learned something useful about how to make better art.

But if you never approached Lore Olympus, don't do it: it's not worth the time you will lose.

Unless you want to see with your own eyes how does it look a story with zero planning and random ideas thrown everywhere. In that case, please, be my guest: read it and learn how not to write. You will learn a lot from this.

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(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[2rats1gogh]

House of the dragon 2x02 very much redeemed the awful execution of Blood and Cheese in 2x01

The dialogue in this new episode was absolutely phenomenal. The scene of Aegon going batshit crazy after the death of his son was fantastic. I literally had chills. Tom carried the whole episode. I felt his rage with every atom of my body.

That whole sequence of the council meeting was 10/10. The way different people react to this awful tragedy, the way Alicent is heartbroken and feels guilty (although I wish they went in the direction of Helaena feeling guilty instead but whatever), Otto being very rational about everything, Aegon just being full of rage and despair. GORGEOUS.

I was a little disappointed with the way Aemond didn’t seem to care all that much. The scene in the brothel was alright, but it seemed off to me that he seemed to care more about the fact that the assassins were sent by Daemon to kill him, rather than grieving the death of his nephew. He literally showed more emotions when Luke died which is weird💀💀

I also wasn’t the biggest fan of the show’s excessive focus on Alicole. Don’t get me wrong but it just seems so out of character for Alicent to hook up with Criston soon after the death of her grandson, instead of comforting Helaena and Aegon who are grieving the loss of their child. That scene at the end was very weird and kind of unnecessary (again).

The dialogue between Rhaenyra and Daemon was surprisingly very good and emotional, and I am saying this as a team green supporter. I was even surprised that I started feeling bad for Rhaenyra. She has such a shitty husband, it’s actually pretty sad. At least she is starting to acknowledge it now, that she is more grown up and mature. Oh and I fucking hate Daemon, can’t wait to see him die. What a disgusting pathetic fucking asshole.

Their dialogue was fantastic, and felt super realistic, believable, and easy to follow and understanding. I loved it!!

The funeral scene… Chills. Literal, actual fucking chills. When they showed Jaehaerys’ little corpse with his head sewed back to his neck… My heart stopped for a moment here 😭😭😭😭 And Otto organizing that whole thing just to exploit the grief of Alicent and Helaena. Jesus. I don’t even know how to feel. It makes sense, and it was a good political move, but my heart breaks for Helaena especially.

At least it was shown that she is beloved by the smallfolk, which is accurate. Sure, she may not have needed that and preferred to grieve alone, but at least these people weren’t interrupting the funeral, like it seemed in the trailer.

Aegon punishing Blood was 1000/10 although I wish we had seen more of this. And him killing all the ratcathers… well, sad, of course, but can we really blame a grieving father? At least Cheese is dead. Although Otto was right, this is definitely gonna backfire.

Criston… Yeah, um. I guess that’s just how it is. Bro is projecting so hard onto everyone, jeez. Not a big fan of that, but it is what it is, and it’s kind of book accurate if i’m not misremembering anything?

Arryk and Erryk death scene was devastatingly sad tho. Absolutely horrible.

Overall, I’d say the execution of Blood and Cheese was horrible IMO, the way the consequences of it were shown was an easy 10/10. No complaints here.

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Is Alastor aware of Vox’s children - specifically his daughter?

Personally I interpret that Vox was probably a parent who played favorites [unintentional or intentional] and assuming his relationship with his son was likely strained - Vox gave his daughter more attention & affection. Making the memories pop in a bittersweet way.

I could see Alastor being conflicted, depending on if he knew about Vox’s children before he reduced his former friend turned enemy to static. Alastor assuming he was a terrible father [easy assumption because it’s… Vox lol] and feeling so disgusted with a man who already fell into his distaste. We know Alastor’s daddy issues, I can’t imagine him being comfortable with a [absent father at best, neglectful & emotionally abusive father at worst] around unless he were his little plaything.

I can think of so many ways Alastor could torture Vox psychologically with this knowledge. Gaslighting Vox into thinking a porcelain doll is actually his baby, allowing him to get attached to said doll for a while — only to shatter it right in front of him.

“Oh! Well, you can always make a new one! Haha!”

Alastor’s pettiness levels are 100% showing here as the mentality of “replacing the old with the new” that Vox used to spout out constantly is being used — in reference to his “baby”.

Of course Vox is absolutely distraught, feebly sputtering and trying to pick up the broken pieces of the doll before quickly devolving into pure rage.

“I trusted you! She’s my daughter!”

Alastor is merely grinning, laughing even. Right at Vox’s face. Vox is cursing him out using every word in the book, get violent almost immediately - and if any of the hotel residents are there all Hell will break loose.

Alastor could also just say “Oh she’s dead.” Anytime Vox asks where his daughter is… that’s a lot simple than what I just wrote lol.

But yeah neat little scenario I wanted to explore, I absolutely love love love this AU!! Everything is so well-written and thought out! I hope I didn’t write Alastor too evil, or Vox too pathetic(?) :p

- 🐚

OH JEEZ

Yeah, Vox was... not a great dad. He just wasn't around most of the time and saw his role as breadwinner as the only thing he really needed to do in order to be a Good Father™. He loved his kids in his own, self-absorbed way, but just wasn't involved with them in any meaningful manner. He was never abusive towards them but still managed to traumatize them through the constant, vicious arguments he would get into with their mother. You're right though, he did prefer Sarah (his younger child) to Thomas (his elder child) quite a bit, and she ended up with far more fond memories of him because of it.

Alastor is vaguely aware that Vox was a father when he was alive, but never felt any desire to delve into that aspect of his life. Vox lowkey compulsively overshares with the people he'd attracted to and Alastor ended up learning a lot more about Vox than he really wanted to back when they were friends. I'd never thought about how he would feel about what kind of father Vox was though– that's an interesting concept.

My HC backstory for Alastor is that he was born out of wedlock and never knew his biological father. At age 6, he and his mother left his grandparents' house and moved in with his mother's white cousin and her husband, who agreed to pretend Alastor (who was white-passing) was their son in exchange for his mother working as their maid. When Al was 11, he caught a glimpse of his mother having sex with his "adoptive father"– he'd threatened to kick her and Alastor out of the house if she didn't agree to sleep with him. He grew to loathe the man and eventually smothered him to death while he was recovering from the Spanish Flu that had swept through the house and claimed his mother's life.

With that context, I don't think Alastor would begrudge Vox for being a neglectful father that much since he just sort of sucked in a way that most men from that time period sucked. He'd see Vox's memories of his children in a similar way as he sees Vark; irrelevant and harmless, but a weak point he could easily exploit if he felt it was necessary.

The concept of the doll is fucking brutal. Al would probably be aware of how easily Vox projects memories of Sarah onto various people/things since it happens occasionally with Niffty, but I think that'd be a type of torment restricted to when he's feeling especially sadistic for whatever reason. Alastor thinks of himself as having standards, although he's willing to bend on some of them if he can think of a good justification and already wants to do it. So yeah, basically Vox's kids are off-limits until they're Not anymore.

Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad you're enjoying it! I really appreciate long, elaborate scenarios like this; they give me a chance to talk about so many different things and get me to consider elements that I hadn't previously thought of.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

I’m absolutely feral for Jimmy could we have some more ftm/transmasc degradation, rough, sloppy yet absolutely sweet smutt😭

purr 😚😚

warning: homophobic/transphobic slurs, degradation/humiliation

anatomical terms: pussy, boobs, clit, dick, t-dick, hole (fuckin everything man we ball)

jimmy "irish catholic guilt" mcgill is closeted bisexual. 😌

he's very ashamed of his attraction to men. incredibly accepting of other people but ooh internalized homophobia the HOUSE!!!!! mainly because he had to hide it from his family so he repressed it and never let himself explore sexual intimacy with cis men.

and then you come along and you're like the perfect solution. in his cis male monkey brain he thinks "man, but... pussy??? pussy on man??? then it's not really gay right???" 😳😳😳 (it's gay, jimmy)

he's very sexually experienced when it comes to afabs, so it's a real confidence boost to know what he's doing

he's fascinated by the slight differences in your body, those little changes of transition that throw off what he's used to. if you have boobs he will honk them and suck on your nips. if you've had top surgery he'll still try to honk your chest and suck on your nips (whether you actually feel anything or not) either way he'll say something objectifying about you.

"i can't believe you'd wanna get rid of these. they're so good. can i have them when you're done with them?"

"jeez, those are some big scars. you must've had a huge rack, eh? had to move a heavy load?"

JIMMY MCGILL IS OBSESSED WITH T-DICKS THIS IS LAW!!! again a slight change from what he's used to. when he's getting your pants off he's expecting a tiny little clit that he'll have to search for and not a chode staring him in the face. your dick is tiny but it's the most dick he's ever had so ofc his instinct is to wrap his (embarrassing lack of) lips around it and start sucking.

irish catholic guilt + internalized homophobia = degrading you as a "weaker man" to make himself feel better. makes fun of your tiny dick, calls you slurs, ROUGH sex (biting, slapping, spanking, choking, hair pulling) the power imbalance is cathartic for him.

(while gagging you on his cock) "choke on it, faggot. god, you're pathetic. i know you can take more than that."

(while bending you over a table and fucking you from behind) "you see this is what an actual cock feels like." (he reaches down to stroke your dick) "this little thing? you seriously think it'll ever make anyone feel this good? it won't, will it? so just shut up and let me use this hole like a real man. i gotta say, even for a stupid tranny whore, you have the best pussy i've ever had. congratulations."

loves it sloppy bc the mess is even more humiliating. gagging you til you drown his cock in saliva, cumming on your face or in your mouth or inside, sucking your dick and fingering you until you squirt, using your squirt as lube to jerk himself off, SPITTING ON YOU >:3

may or may not cry afterwards bc he feels bad for hurting you. if he does you may need to comfort him and let him know he did a great job 🥺 cuddling is necessary

[shrimpleasthat77]

So I just cleaned like a madman today and that took up all of my energy so I don’t have a drawing for tonight. But! I remember being asked about my orokabu headcanons and I never ended up responding soooo here’s some rapid fire ones:

> I don’t think they’d really use the labels of “boyfriend” or “partner”. Their bond is solidified enough to where it’d be kind of redundant.

> I also feel like they wouldn’t really have time for traditional dates. That’s really not a huge problem though, both Orochimaru and Kabuto are at each other’s sides almost 24/7. They get more than enough quality time together.

> As for PDA of any sort, I think they both keep it rather lowkey aside from some occasional touching (Orochimaru is very handsy like jeez man calm down). Behind closed doors is a completely different story trust and believe

> I’m throwing this in the middle because idk how else to Segway into it but I don’t think Kabuto is very well endowed. Not that Orochimaru cares of course.

> I said this in a previous post but there’s no way Orochimaru is topping. I’m sorry. Look at him. That’s not to say I see Kabuto as some super macho dom, absolutely NOT. Bros as pathetic as they come. Kinda doesn’t know what he’s doing. While Orochimaru is a grade A freak, I don’t see him doing much. He’s not exactly guiding Kabuto if you catch my drift.

> Anyways moving out of the bedroom, I do feel like they care about each other. Crazy to say I know, I literally ship them, but I don’t think it’s just 100% toxic yaoi. Orochimaru obviously sees value in Kabuto, hell that was the first thing he noted about him. He’s not just a game piece to him like everyone else. Kabuto may be an asshat, but I know what I saw in the scene before Orochimaru’s “death” I saw that tender back rub. Everyone shut up. I hate them.

> uhhh anyways I think their favorite thing to do together is research. Whether it be scientific or not, it allows them to be productive while also being together. Yippee

(Sorry if this is really short I’m playing the 2.7 HSR update as I type this #multitasking)

[silverselfshippingchaos]

Pairing: Ash (self-insert)/Balthus

Word Count: About 1.7k

Warnings: Swearing, vague descriptions of injuries and blood, some slightly suggestive lines, Ash is very much emotionally constipated.

Synopsis: After a late-night run-in with some mercenaries, Balthus stumbles back to Abyss bloody and bruised. The only person awake to heal him is the woman he always felt drawn to, Ash. Ash isn't used to having people in her life that she cared for, so why did the thought of him make her feel so... weak? Pre-relationship.

Having lived underground for years, the King of Grappling has little sense of day and night.

As he wipes some blood from his chest, he thinks to himself that clearly, neither did the men his stepmother sent after him.

I'm never coming back. What's it gonna take for that witch to realize that?!

Bloody and bruised, Balthus stumbles his way through the lush green grass of the Monastery to the dark and dusty walls of Abyss. The cold bricks and the horrible, sewer smell are little more of a comfort than the chill of the air outside, but he didn't hate it. A prison to others, a home to him.

Ash is disturbed from her late-night reading by the faint sound of heavy footsteps on the stone stairs leading down to this hell. It was typically dead silent at this hour, so to hear someone... Were they being attacked? But by only one man?

She looks around, and slowly steps out of the Shadow Library to see Abysskeeper on-guard as always. He gives her a look of acknowledgement. To that, Ash gives him a glare.

"I'll take care of it."

Her voice is deep and rough, just like how it always was. Abysskeeper took orders from no one, not even the Garreg Mach keeper whom he found to be more charming than he'd like to admit. And yet, he steps aside at Ash's word. Who was to deny one of Abyss' guardians herself?

... Especially since she'd probably stab him if he didn't.

Ash steps closer to the stairs as the footsteps get louder. A hand resting on the blade by her side, which served as a constant reminder of her being trapped in this world of fighting. There was no escape. Any blood spilled with repayed for more. A horrible cycle, and she was stuck in the middle of it, stuck in her past, stuck in Abyss, stuck in her feelings, stuck in a war, horrified and scared and-

Balthus.

Covered in bruises and cuts, Balthus wipes some of the blood from his cheek with the back of his hand. Ash's hand relaxes, falling back to her side.

"Balthus."

"Ash! Always a pleasure."

And Balthus flashes her a bloody, toothy grin. Ash just rolls her eyes, which Balthus seems to enjoy, judging by the way he threw his head back and laughed.

"Heartless as ever! You wound me, my lady."

Heartless...

Balthus thinks to himself,

She's far from it. I caught her teaching the kids how to read the other day.

Ash ignores the comment and just looks at him blanky. If she was concerned, she didn't show it. If only he knew the way she worried about him, having not come back until so late. What if something happened to him?!

"What happened to you?"

Balthus' expression hardens for a moment before resuming to his usual, easy smirk,

"Oh, you know how it goes, pal. One drink too many, a lost bet, and-"

"Predictable as ever. Pathetic."

But Ash couldn't just let him stand there all beat up. She couldn't bear the sight of him hurt, and she hated to admit it. Why did she care about him so much?

She reaches a hand out to his and grabs his wrist, pulling him into the Shadow Library.

"Woah there- Pal! What are you doing?"

"You're so... so stupid!"

"Jeez, you're mean... Now who's predictable?"

Ash shoves him down onto the table, and Balthus can't help but think that he likes it when she's that harsh with him. The way that her grip hurt so damn good, the way her hair fell in her face as her moved... She was intoxicating. Absolutely fucking intoxicating.

Ash takes off her own long coat and sets it down onto another table. Balthus notices that even through her sleeves, her arms look strong. And Balthus gladly drinks in the sight of her muscles, the healed scars on her forearms from a life of too much war.

"Didn't realize it was going to be this kind of encounter, but I don't mind."

"Shut up. Take off your jacket."

"Ooh, I like it when you talk to me like that, pal. Wanted to see me strip that bad, yeah?"

Ash's breath hitches in her throat. Fuck.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You're injured and I wanna see-"

"You're not one to waste time... Of course you wanna see! Who'd pass up an opportunity to see the King of Grappling's iron bod?"

Ash groans,

"Can't you just shut up?! Let me heal you, you idiot! You think I'm not worried about you?!"

Ash crosses her arms over her chest. She hopes her yelling didn't wake any of the Abyssians.

Balthus' brown eyes go wide, but he quickly gathers himself and smiles as he takes off his jacket. Slow and steady, making it a show for her. She hates how much it affects her. Balthus was, without a doubt, the most muscular man she had ever seen. And he had a love for walking around shirtless, too. The way he moved...

Ash leans in and runs her fingers over his bare skin, over the defined muscles of his chest, over the bruises all over him. Her touch was light, too light. Balthus wanted more.

"That was one hell of a bar fight.."

Ash's voice is a quiet whisper as she feels his injuries. Feels him.

"I'm going to heal you."

And before Balthus can protest (not that he'd want to), Ash presses a hand to each of his injuries and casts her healing spells.

She casts her spells again and again, and Balthus can feel the pain start to fade away. To distract himself from the burning sting of his bruises fading, he looks at her. Watches her. The way her brown eyes narrowed in concentration...

Ash steps back after she completes her round of healing spells. Even after all her work, some blood remained.

Balthus shifts uncomfortably on the wooden table of the Shadow Library, glancing over at his arm. They cut him, too.

"I'll get bandages."

He's never heard Ash's voice so soft. Even with the healing spells, he couldn't deny that he was getting a little drowsy.

Ash comes back a minute or two later with the best supplies she could manage to get in a place like this. Perhaps she'd pay a visit to the surface soon, steal some new ones. And even if she did get caught, she'd make sure there wasn't a single person left alive to tell the tale.

Slowly but surely, Ash cleans Balthus' wounds. Balthus winces at the sting, but through gritted teeth, he can't resist being cheeky.

"Bet you like this, yeah? Hearing me squirm under your touch."

The best Ash offers him is a racing heart and a scoff,

"That's cute."

Ash presses down extra hard on his cuts, and Balthus yelps.

She looks into his eyes, her eyes just as hard as always, but her lips twitched up in a smirk,

"That's a good boy. Now shut up."

"Ouch... Bit of a sadistic one, aren't you?"

"Only sometimes."

Ash leans in close to see the injuries on his face. Goodness, she was so beautiful up close. Her hair, always a little messy fell into her face. She places a hand on his bare chest.

"Your heart is racing, Balthus. Don't tell me you like having me like this."

Balthus meets her gaze directly,

"One more word from you, pal, and I'll flip you onto this table. Show you who's King around here."

Ash chuckles,

"In this state, I'd like to see you try."

She leans in close to his ear, her voice a dark whisper,

"And who's to say I don't like it better when it's like this?"

Balthus chuckles, and Ash grabs for the bandages, carefully wrapping him up.

Her words were harsh, but her touch was gentle on his skin. Like she didn't want to hurt him even more.

They fall into a silence. Not quite awkward, not quite comfortable. The tension in the air made it hard for them to feel much of anything other than each other.

Inspecting her work, Ash steps away.

"You..."

Ash's voice trembles,

"You can't keep doing this... All you ever do is get beat up."

"It's what I do best, pal!"

"You're an idiot! I can't bear the sight of you like this."

"It's starting to sound to me like you care about my wellbeing."

Ash hesitates, and it takes her a second to respond, thinking about every single word. She couldn't let him know how she really felt. A woman like her didn't do love.

"You're important to the people in Abyss. So don't you dare get yourself killed."

She spends a moment with a hand on his chest, looking so deeply into his eyes. The moment feels like an eternity... But then she rips her gaze away and pulls back, and her touch seems to linger on his skin.

"I'm going to bed, Balthus. Goodnight."

Balthus straightens up on the table,

"Don't want company?"

"You'd wake Constance up. Then you'd be dead for real."

"How about my bed?"

"Then we'd wake Yuri up and never hear the end of it."

"Guess you're right about that, pal."*

Ash yawns before she can get another smart response out, and Balthus finds the gesture oddly cute. She couldn't be much older than him, and she looked so... soft. Sweet. Like there was more to her than he knew.

Ash picks up her coat and begins to walk away. Ash shoots him one last look before she leaves the library. Ash was always an enigma of sorts, and Balthus didn't put too much thought into understanding her. But there was something about that look that he couldn't quite decipher. He felt... odd.

And so, there Balthus is. Half-naked at the dead of night in the middle of the Shadow Library, left to deal with the dulling pain of his wounds (she was a great healer!) and the weird flutter in his chest all alone.

Great.

[kookznoona]

Ride To The Party|Part 1

Pairing: Dom! Jungkook x Sub! Reader

Rating: 18+, Smut, Swearing

Warnings: SMUT, Mature Language and Mature Content

Genre: Boyfriend! Jungkook Dom!Jungkook Sub!Reader

Description: A lil' Spanking, Edging, JK has a Daddy Kink, Y/N has a Degradation Kink, Cockwarming, Oral, mention of masturbation

Word Count: 1.4 K

Summary: A Birthday to attend and the ride to the party is gonna be long and you absolutely hate the idea of cars, what's worse is that your brother dearest fell sick, you're gonna travel there just for formalities, this ride's gonna suck

***************************************************

Jungkook opens the main door slowly using the spare key. He knew he shouldn't be disturbing you, but he just seemed to have forgotten his laptop at your place while working on a project with your brother. And by accident, his eyes move on the crack of your room's door, he squints his eyes to figure out what you were doing, and he hears it, "Ju-ngkook, da-ddy m-oree". He feels his Dick throb, "Fuck" he groans. He couldn't get his eyes off you, you looked too blissed out to feel his presence. It was all too much for him to process and he grabs the laptop and Leaves immediately before he loses control.

He and you grew quite close as friends and he was almost there at any party your brother was at when growing up, so y'all grew fond of eachother. Things got a bit awkward between y'all both. He got jealous when he saw you around someone and you got overprotective of him too. But were y'all gonna stay as friends for the entirety of your lives? That you do not know.

****************************************************

You and Jungkook were put together at the backseat of the 6 seater car only that the seat next to y'all was filled with a pile of stuff and you were mildly claustrophobic, which means, you were going to hate this ride… but little did you know about your real ride

You sit on Jungkook's lap

"Sweetie, I remember you telling me that you hated leggings" he mumbles confused

"I know Babe, but I don't wanna feel more suffocated wearing my jeans"

"Baby… the ride will last barely 4 hours, plus we don't have an option" he coos at you

"It's okay Kook, just Pray I don't vomit on you"

"You won't" he chuckles

"You hate car rides, don't ya?"

"It's just too tiny"

Jungkook tries having a conversation with you, at the start it goes well but then he starts noticing shortness in your breath and your legs trembling…

"You okay Y/N?"

"I-yea-okay, just little dizzy"

Jungkook slips his hand into his pocket and grabs his phone, showing you pictures of his dogs. You easily get distracted and forget about your surroundings, Jimin Blasts Your Favorite Music and everyone is talking among themselves.

"Jungkook-"

"It's Daddy to you Lil' girl" he says smirking

"Wh-at-"

"Weren't you calling me that two hours ago babygirl? Humping a Pillow like a pathetic mutt?" He Growls

You bury your face in your hands

"What a naughty Lil' girl you are… wanting to get fucked by your brother's bestfriend, look at you getting all flustered, bet your panties are soaking wet sitting on my lap"

"Jung-"

"Again?"

"Da-ddy, I- I can't do this"

"Yes, you can Sweetiepie"

"I have to tell you something"

His eyes turn serious now "Yes Y/N?"

"Jungkook, I've always Loved you since day one, I don't wanna have this to be like a one time thing"

There's a moment of silence

"So, if we do this, there's no coming back" you say sniffling softly

"Jeez, are you crying baby?"

"I'm so sor-ry but, I've just been broken far too many times and I'm not ready to give up on Yo-" he Kisses you and shuts you up

"I Love You Babygirl" He says, lighting 120 ships in your heart

"You do?"

"Bitch, I love you, okay? Just stop crying, it just took me a second too long to process that the world's prettiest girl wants to be mine" he says. You hide your face in his chest, smiling

All of a sudden you start to feel uneasy again and Jungkook notices this and playfully slides his hand up your shirt, you breath hitches and you whimper. This does not go unnoticed by him. His hand sneakily wanders up your tummy and into your bra, tugging at your nipples, making you mewl.

"Kook- I- I don't know how to say this-"

"You can tell me anything baby"

You simply shake your head and cover your face

"So what do you want, little girl? I wouldn't know unless you tell me"

"D-daddy"

"Tell me baby"

"I'm damn Horny right now sitting on your lap, my cunnie is so wet and I wanna be filled" you mewl

Jungkook groans and starts placing wet kisses on your neck and nibbles on your earlobe.

"Baby, don't think I'll go easy on you, you've made daddy very angry touching yourself, you've been bad, get ready to be punished" he Growls

"babygirl, you like this don't ya? Being daddy's little fucktoy? Hmm?" His Husky voice shoots your core and you involuntarily clench your thighs together

"Do you not speak little one?" he says hand snaking down your thigh and immediately spanking your cunt, you whimper

"Daddy-I" you try to speak

"baby, let Daddy play with you" he says pulling your favorite pink vibrator out of your bag and you widen your eyes in shock, he smirks looking at your reaction and places it around your pussy, drawing circles everywhere except where you needed him the most

"Da-ddyyyyyy, pleaseee don't t-ease meee"

He presses the buzzing toy against your clit

"How does it feel?"

"S-so good, plea-se d-don't st-op, 'so good, Daddy please"

He starts to move the vibrator up and down your folds

"Daddy- wa-nna cum, please"

"What a messy Lil' girl you are, wanting to cum your pants for Daddy"

"Pleas-e Daddy" you tremble

He pulls his hand away from your cunt

"N-no, Daddy!!! This. is. so. not. fair!"

"Shh, baby, you need to shut that mouth of yours or I'll gag you with my fingers" he Growls and you whimper at his words

"B-but-"

"Sweetheart, this bratty mouth of yours has gotten you into trouble, sit on Daddy's cock and keep it warm"

"What-" you feel your face heat up in embarrassment

"Nuh-uh you don't get to talk, not unless I say so"

Feeling your face further reddened, you stand up and Jungkook pulls you down on his cock harshly.

Jungkook feels your juices drench his balls, making him groan.

"You're such a filthy whore for Daddy, aren't you?"

You feel yourself gush more slick around him.

"Words Sweetheart" he says choking your neck

"I-daddy-can't"

He places the buzzing toy on your clit

"Ngh-Daddy, Please- I- ahhh" you feel your eyes roll at the back of your head

"Daddy won't give it to you unless you ask for it" he says smirking, watching you crumble.

"Ahhh" you suck on his fingers to muffle your moans

"Baby, look at you, making a mess on daddy's lap, whining like the little slut you are"

"Daddy, I- please- lemme- ahhh, cum"

"You think you deserve it? After all that misbehavior?"

"D-da-mngh ahhh Pleaseeee" you feel tears roll down your cheeks

"Cum for me babygirl"

Your orgasm washes over you, your thighs trembling as you drool over his fingers

You take a minute to catch your breath.

"Stop acting like an ungrateful brat little one" he says spanking your ass

"Thank you Daddy" you say

"You've been such a good girl"

"Daddy?"

"Yes princess?"

"Lemme please you now"

You move down between his thighs and lick a hard stripe on the prominent vein of his cock.

He hisses in pleasure. You start to teasingly lick his tip. "Teasing Daddy now, are we?"

You giggle innocently and dive back in and slam your mouth on his cock and start bobbing your head up and down harshly. He starts to buck his hips up. "baby, I'm so close" he says as you start to deep throat him and gag

"Ahhh… amazing baby… Swallow it like the good girl you are" he commands. Just as you lick the last stripe on his cock,

"Y/N and Jungkook we've reached your destination~" Jimin says, making you and Jungkook jump.

Jungkook plunges the vibrator into your pussy and you moan

"Baby, no cumming" He whispers and smirks

You felt absolutely naughty to do this but what Daddy commands, you must obey, that is unless you wanna get punished

PS. Read Part 2 Here

****************************************************

A/N: Requested by @penguinkyung

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Take Care~

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

sending in a late night thirst🥺❤️

Muzzling or Gagging Scaramouche when he chooses to be a brat. Let him spew insults and mean words beforehand, knowing he’ll grow to regret them later when you’re abusing his sensitive spots

Pull his hair, degrade him, taunt him, edge him. He deserves it

Sooner or later, he’ll be too fucked out to say a word, sobbing and squirming from the lack of release, becoming a pliant little pet for you, so desperate for your touch <3 💕 he’s always better when he’s quiet

hi hi anon!

omg yess! scara is such a brat and honestly, and dealing with someone who can be an absolute ass can be incredibly stressful and annoying. so the least you can do is teach him a lesson and fuck him until he can't speak anymore. serves him right, since he can be such a bitch anyways..

nsfw below!

scaramouche kicks out at you, very clearly pissed and not happy with his current situation. he lets out a muffled yell when you catch his ankle oh so easily, and press it down, causing his legs to be spread even further. he bites down even harder on the gag that's been pushed into his mouth and never breaks eye contact with.

" y'know if you weren't such a bitch, we wouldn't be here," you simply say, ignoring the further muffled words coming from that stupid mouth of his. knowing him, he'd be screaming " fuck you!" or something like " I'll kill you!" right about now. hmph, thank goodness you'd gagged him. more fun for you anyway.

how'd he get into something like this, one may ask. well-

you had gotten pretty sick and tired of dealing with his constant stream and spewing of insults, especially when they were directed at you. sure, he'd have to deal with incompetent subordinates, or even worse, other harbingers, such as that " stupid fucking ginger." his words, not yours. you swore if you heard,

" you fucking bitch!"

" hah, you look so pathetic right now"

" what did you just say to me?"

" look at you, you're getting worked up over nothing."

one more time, you were gonna fucking flip. and it wouldn't be pretty. you can feel your veins burst every time he even so much as open his stupid mouth.

" please do stop kicking me," you murmur, gripping his doughy ankle even tighter," it'll be easier for you if you stop acting like a brat."

he glares, only wriggling about more. you merely sigh, already getting tired of his behavior. well, you can't say you didn't ask politely.

and with that, you wrap your hand around his pathetic little cock. he lets out a high-pitched noise - it sounds so pathetically cute - as you begin to move your hand up and down, just the way he likes it. he tries to close his legs, but your other hand has a tight grip on his leg and had been pushing it down. so there's little to no room for him to run away.

" mnghhh-?!"

you snicker as his fair cheeks begin to visibly redden, and the gag begins to darken, presumably from him drooling. he continues to let out choked noises, his body trembling and shuddering from just your hand alone.

" jeez scara, you're getting this hard from my hand?" you taunted, laughing cruelly as he gave you a dazed glare. you stared down at where your fingers are wrapped around his cock, and you can see and feel his leaking pre-cum on your fingers. you grin snidely, moving your hand faster which forces him to buck his hips up even further.

" nmmmm-!! hmnnnghh-!"

his noises began to grow louder, more pre-cum beginning to leak out onto your fingers and dribbling down onto his doughy thighs. the lewd squelches of cum meeting bare skin began to become louder and louder, and it was apparent that he was about to cum. " you're such a slut scara. you gonna cum already?" you questioned haughtily, grinning as he weakly nodded, his back arching as your hand tightened around the small length.

you licked your lips, enjoying the way he was pathetically falling apart beneath you, and just from your hand alone. how cute.

" mnghhhh-?!"

you grinned down at him, your hand having stopped completely. wow he must've really been close huh?

" awww what's wrong scara? did you wanna cum?" you mockingly cooed, ignoring his glares and choked noises. " well too bad, this is your punishment after all," you cooed, watching as your adorable scaramouche began to tremble once more, probably because he knew he was absolutely done for.

you smiled, eyeing him down the entire time as you lifted up your fingers which were coated in his milky pre-cum. you pressed your fingers right up against his puckering ass, to which he let out high-pitched squeals and began to squirm about and his indigo eyes widening in disbelief.

" hnmghhhh?!"

" now then," you giggled softly, enjoying the way he helplessly moaned and squirmed about. he really was so adorable.

" let's continue, shall we?"

[azulasnailtech]

Day Three: Spooning/Bed-Sharing

A continued happy @zukkaweek! I managed to break 1k today, so that’s a win. Canon compliant, Book Three: Fire, Chapter Twenty-One: Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. Missing moment, pre-relationship zukka and gaang friendship. Rated G.

“Aang!”

His sister’s voice is perhaps the sweetest sound Sokka has ever heard, because that means she’s gloriously, wonderfully alive. She survived Comet Azula. She won. Would have been nice if she had called his name first, but Aang’s been disappeared longer, and without forewarning. He’ll wait his turn on the hug.

But they’ve been hugging a while now.

Jeez. Get a room, guys.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Sokka finally calls out when it’s been long enough.

“Sokka!” Katara shouts at last, gleeful. She releases Aang, who scrunches his nose at the interruption but smiles, and moves to jump on her brother.

Sokka would have crumpled under the weight if not for Suki’s palms planted between his shoulder blades, pushing him back upright. As it is, he lets out a (very slightly pathetic) keen like an injured kitten-hare.

Katara gasps, instantly looping his arm over her shoulder and taking the weight off his left side. “You got injured too!”

“Too?” Sokka suddenly stills and looks around, notices the last member of their gang is nowhere to be found. “Zuko?”

“He’s okay,” Katara rushes to reassure. “Or he will be okay. He’s stable.”

“That’s not super reassuring…”

“Here, c’mon, let’s all go inside and talk about what we all went through.” She gestures with her free hand for everyone to follow her, and leads Sokka hobbling into the palace proper, but stops short at one of the hallways that splits off in two directions. “Ugh, this place is like a maze.”

“I can hear him,” Toph offers. “I’ll take it from here, Sugar Queen.”

Sokka’s exhausted by the time they make it to what he assumes is not the hospital wing but Zuko’s bedroom, judging by the presence of only one, absolutely massive bed.

“Nice,” he breathes, and with one last burst of energy, he hops the rest of the distance to the bed and flops down on his back, spreading his limbs like a starfish.

Zuko, who had been slumbering lightly, grumbles and blinks awake, followed by a sharp intake of breath. “It’s okay buddy,” Sokka murmurs, scooting across the bed to Zuko’s side before Zuko can switch to fight mode and pop a stitch or whatever by leaping out of bed with flaming fists. “It’s just me.”

“Sokka?” Zuko asks groggily. He turns his head to confirm it and smiles dopily. “Heeeeey, Sokka,” he says, reaching over to pat Sokka’s cheek heavily.

Somewhere behind him, Sokka hears Suki giggle. “What is he on?” She whispers.

“Fire Nation painkillers are strong.” Katara whispers back.

“Do I get some too?” Sokka wonders, peering over his shoulder.

“Why do you need a painkiller?” Zuko asks.

“Messed up my leg sliding down the side of an airship and landing badly on a platform,” Sokka explains matter-of-factly.

Zuko nods in understanding. “I got stuck by lightning.”

“Again? And you couldn’t do the—” Sokka holds the pointer and middle finger of each hand up, waving both hands around haphazardly in a rough approximation of the movement for lightning redirection.

“‘Zula spun around at the last second to aim for Katara. Had to run to get in front of it.”

“Oh man,” Sokka breathes. He tries to imagine Katara struck by lightning, electricity coursing through her veins, stopping her heart and frying her insides, without spirit water or anyone to heal the healer. His mind violently rejects the image.

Instead, Sokka surges forward to wrap his arms around Zuko, hugging him tight as he can without touching the bandages wrapped around chest. “Thank you,” he chokes out.

“Course.” Zuko answers. He wriggles his arm under Sokka’s body so he can hug back. “I’d jump in front of lightning for any of you.”

“I’d jump in front of lightning for you too, man.”

“Why would you jump in front of lightning for me?” Zuko shouts, and he lacks none of his usual volume when high on painkillers, apparently. “I’m much better equipped to handle it than you!”

Sokka laughs. “I’d jump in front of a boomerang for you,” he amends.

“Thank you.” Zuko reaches his free hand up to run up and down Sokka’s forearm. “Those things really hurt.”

“I know we said we’d all talk about how our battles went…” Aang ventures as he climbs onto the bed behind Sokka. “But I think we all deserve a nap.”

“Aang?” Zuko demands, trying and failing to lift himself up to look over Sokka.

“Yeah!” Aang props himself up on an elbow to peer down at him. “Hey, Sifu Hotman!��

“You lived!”

“I did!”

“So you won, right?”

“I won,” Aang confirms.

“He was amazing,” Sokka adds.

“Good job!” Zuko holds his hand up for a high five, which Aang gladly gives him. “Hey, does that mean my dad is dead?” Zuko snorts. “Dad dead. Dead dad. ’S fun to say it together.”

“No, I found a workaround. I meditated myself onto a spiritual journey where I—”

“Nap first,” Suki cuts in.

Aang yawns, nods, and lies back down. Immediately, he plasters himself to Sokka’s back, like he’s the Avatar’s personal body pillow. Sokka huffs but doesn’t complain; he knows the kid must be all tuckered out from delivering the butt-kicking of the century.

“Let me just look over Sokka’s leg first,” Katara mumbles, standing at the foot of the bed.

Suki stops her with a firm hand to the shoulder. “We already set it, and you’re exhausted. It can wait.”

“Yeah, Katara,” Sokka agrees. “And Zuko’s Fire Lord now, right? He can release the war prisoners, so the swampbenders can help you with healing duty.”

“I am the Fire Lord now,” Zuko agrees, puffing his chest out. “I declare all prisoners of war from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes free!”

“Very well, Your Majesty,” a Fire Sage steps out of a shadowed corner of the room and bows. “I will see it done.”

“Was he there the whole time?” Sokka squawks as the man leaves.

The only response he gets is laughter.

Katara and Suki slide onto the bed beside Aang, and Suki pats the last bit of free space at the edge. “You coming, Toph?”

“Just a sec.” With a heavy stomp, Toph lifts a perfect rectangle of densely packed dirt to be level with the bed, obliterating Zuko’s hardwood floors in the process. She sprawls out sideways, head and chest on the bed while her lower half remains grounded. “Perfect,” she sighs.

Even with five and a half of them piled onto the bed, Zuko still has plenty of space on his other side. He could easily put some distance between himself and Sokka. It would probably be more comfortable for both of them.

He doesn’t.

Sokka sleeps like a baby.

[star2fishmeg]

50 Shades Of My Own Blood

Teehee I've risen to contribute to Zora Ideale content bc he's hot :) hello black clover community, i write sometimes!! This is pretty short and sloppy bc im warming up

Pairing: Zora Ideale x reader

Genre: angst but not really, fluff ig?

Warnings: swearing

Summary: despite being a relatively strong person, reader arrives back to base in a shit condition and Zora's not pleased in the slightest

Y/n wasn't one to back down easily, nor was she willing to give up on a task. But when Yami assigned her a mission earlier that day, she wasn’t expecting the opponents to receive backup. She was surrounded, any major spell cast would cause a chain reaction and then she'd have little chance of survival, especially since she was already bruised and bleeding, her magic hanging on by a small thread. So what was left aside surrender? Pushing her limits.

Pushing her limits is what got her practically dragging herself through the doors of the Black Bulls base. Her body screaming as she used it to open the doors, fumbling in.

"Y/n! I got you, hold on!" Finral slung his arm over her shoulder, guiding her to the sofa. She groaned, throwing her head back and clutching her ribs. "Jeez, you sure took a beating."

"Thanks Fin, didn't notice- christ" she winced, "Gah, why were there so many of them, I mean I took 'em down but still, Yami better give me time off. Can someone find Noelle and see if she can do some sort of healing, I don't care if she can't l, she's gonna try!" Within moments later Noelle jogged in, gasping at the sight of Y/n's barely functioning form.

"Y/n, what happened?" She cried, Asta barrelling in behind her.

"Shit did, now heal me, please." Y/n leant forward and gripped her wrist. Noelle held her hands out, attempting to cast some sort of healing spell, but only causing Y/n to groan out in more pain, but at least the spell was working, right? She stopped groaning when Noelle placed her hands by her sides,

"I'm sorry, that's all I can really do.."

"Thanks, it helped a bit. You can all go about your days now, it's cool." Y/n threw her head back again, closing her eyes and breathing through the pain. Her skin tingled and ached, every breath reminded her of the crusted blood from her nose and head and how pathetic she was to take a hit this excruciating. But she was outnumbered, and that's what she kept reminding herself. For a 1st rank Junior Knight and rising, winning and surviving was expected.

As the day moved on, she opened her eyes to be met with a dim-lit room. Right, she must've fallen asleep. Uncomfortably shifting in her seat, she sat straight to be met with cerulean eyes boring into hers. Zora sat opposite her on the coffee table, leant forward with elbows on his knees. Neither said anything for a few minutes, they just stared with hitched breathes. Leaning closer, his cold fingers brushed against her cheek, tracing down to her chin, slowly tilting it up. Y/n let out a heavy breath with Zora's thumb delicately brushing over her bottom lip, wiping away remainders of blood, silently examining the bruises. Their eyes met again, her's sunken with fatigue while his unreadable, it was hard to tell if he felt sympathetic or if he was pissed, but that was Zora. Nevertheless, her heart skipped in her chest, the pulse surging through her throat and in her ears. Pulling her closer, his breath hot on her face.

"Zora-" She mustered out. He didn’t doubt her strength, and he knew she could handle herself and that she didn't need 24/7 protection, absolutely not, but she was the second person he did care about and did get along with pleasantly so regardless he cut her off quietly, his tone laced in anger,

"Who the fuck did this to you?"

"Zora-" She whispered, "It was just a group of bandits, I didn't know they would be that tough but, no need to worry, I'm alive." She gave a faint smile. He didn't budge though, he remained close with his hand on her chin, in fact he inched closer, noses touching.

"It just doesn't settle right with me. I'm not losing you too." She wearily brought her hand to his cheek, her thumb caressing the leather on his mask. She wished he'd one day take it off and flaunt his true beauty, but that was asking too much. She slowly traced her hand to the back of his neck, gently running her fingers to the back of his hair, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. It was slow and tender, with heartbeats in sync and the moment their own. They pulled away for breath, putting their heads together.

"Does that help settle you?" She smiled.

"Yeah, but I'm still gonna beat the fuck out of the assholes who did this to you."

---

[bestiesenpai]

bullying megumi

This is for ms @shojotsude , she requested bullying + degrading megumi into an orgasm. Femme reader, everyone aged up third year & 18+, 1.4k words

Content warnings: degradation, bully reader

“You’re fucking pitiful.” Was this the first time you’d caught Megumi jerking off with your panties? No, sadly it wasn’t. Was this the first time you caught him doing it in your room? Yes.

“(Y/N), I- I- can explain-”

“Save it, pervert.” Slamming your door closed, your lip curled further in disgust at coming face to face with what was before you. Sat the edge of your bed with your panties wrapped tightly around his fist and cock and pants down around his ankles was Megumi Fushiguro. Someone you were supposed to look up to, come to for guidance.

Licking his lips nervously, Megumi kept fierce track of every movement you made. The slight drag of your feet as you got closer, the way your breathing was shallow, and especially the look of almost anguish on your face.

“Jeez, you act so high and mighty sometimes but look at the size of your cock. Absolutely tragic.” Your eyes had dropped down to between his legs and Megumi rushed to cover himself.

“I- I-”

“What’re you even trying to cover? Tell me, are you a fucking eunich or something?” Crossing your arms over your chest, you peered down your nose at him. Megumi’s face was flushed red and so was the rest of his body, even his cock looked like it was blushing.

Giving him a scathing once over, you shifted your weight on one foot and lifted the other, pressing it against the hands covering his crotch. Megumi hesitated for a moment, unsure of your intentions, but he let you press your shoe clad foot on his cock and he’s ashamed to admit he liked the way it made him shiver.

“Your cock’s so tiny it’s pathetic, my shoe covers it entirely.” Could the look on your face be anymore disdainful? You looked as if you might vomit any moment, yet Megumi ate it up willingly, spreading his legs a bit more and letting you rest more of your weight on him to help balance.

The tip of your shoe pressed against the tip of his cock and it had Megumi lurching forward, a shocked and pleased ripple going up his spine and making him scramble for purchase on your leg.

“Gross, don’t fucking touch me.” Shaking him off just as quickly as he’d touched you, you set your focus back on grinding your shoe on him. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this, it’s not like you deserve it.”

“Wait!” Your foot had started to slip, the pressure you put on him letting up, and Megumi couldn’t have that. Grabbing onto your ankle, he licked his lips again. “(Y/N) please- wait just- just give me this, please.” It was a rare sight to see the usually so composed Megumi speaking like this, pleading with you in a way that would make anyone chuckle a bit behind their hand at how desperate he sounded.

“What do I get out of this? Hm? Tell me, quickly.” You were stuck in limbo, weight shifting from leaning on Megumi to fully standing on your own.

“You get- uhm-” He was scrambling. Megumi was going to lose possibly the one and only opportunity he had to get you to touch him in any type of sexual way. He didn’t have anything to give you, he knew if he offered money you would scoff, and nothing else would suffice.

“Well? I’m waiting.” Yanking your foot from his hold, you peered down at Megumi.

“I’ll do whatever you want, whatever you ask whenever you ask it. Without question. I’ll- I’ll become your slave if that’s what you want. Just please-” Megumi grabbed your foot, forcing it against his aching cock, “please keep touching me.”

You took far too long to answer, in Megumi’s opinion. What at most was thirty seconds felt like an eternity of waiting, of holding his breath and watching as you thought his proposal over. The muscles in your leg relaxed slowly, willingly putting your weight on him this time.

“You better keep your fucking promise.” Grabbing your phone, you took a quick picture of Megumi before he could even process it. “Or I’m telling everyone. Spreading these pictures online and-”

“I swear! I swear I’ll keep it!” Megumi’s eyes became glossy as he pleaded with you. He didn’t care about that picture or the couple others you took right after. He didn’t care about what happened after this moment, all he wanted was right here and right now.

Huffing, you started to grind your foot against his cock again. Megumi let out a stilted moan, half of it catching in his throat. He knew he looked like a fucking idiot with his mouth hung open and head tilted back as you did this to him but he couldn’t be damned to change it.

He was already halfway to an orgasm before you came in, so the stimulation directly on his cockhead had Megumi’s mind going fuzzy. He was swimming, unable to focus properly on anything except for the way you felt touching him.

“Admit you’re fucking disgusting.” Your voice barely cut through the fuzz in his mind and Megumi fought to focus his eyes on you again. He must have let out an unintelligible noise because you rolled your eyes. “Admit you’re a disgusting little pervert.”

“I’m-” Bucking his hips up unexpectedly, Megumi swallowed thickly, “I’m fuck- fucking disgusting. A little pervert.”

“You also have a poor excuse for a dick.”

“I do, I do.” Megumi nodded with no hesitation. “It’s pathetic.”

“At least you know that.” Slipping your shoe down to his balls, you pressed lightly on them. “Jerk yourself off.”

Megumi didn’t need to be told twice. Wrapping his hand tightly around his cock, Megumi fucked up into his hand. Your panties were wrapped perfectly around his shaft and fingers like he’d left them, adding the perfect amount of friction alongside the pleasurable squeeze of his balls beneath your foot.

“Shit-” He panted, bucking up and grinding against you. Every muscle in his body was beginning to tighten up, threatening to cramp. He was close, so painfully close and if you could just-

“Gross, are you going to cum? I bet nothing will even come out.” The sound of your mocking voice was doing it, spurring him on to the edge. “How long have you even been doing this? Two minutes and you’re already going to cum?”

“(Y/N)-”

“Shut up, don’t say my name. You’re so miserable, jerking off to a girl's panties in her room.” Megumi could hear your voice, he could hear the things you were saying but he could only respond with short, choking gasps. “You’ll never get a girlfriend, you’re too much of a wimp.”

You were saying other things, something about how he’ll have to be a worthless panty stealer forever, but Megumi couldn’t hear anymore over the rush in his ears as he came. All he could even fathom in this moment was the hot ropes of cum shooting out of his cock and coating his hand.

Your foot retracted the moment you saw the first bead of white and Megumi was left to stroke his cock to completion. His upper body rocked back and forth, unable to decide on whether to crumple forwards in on himself or fall backwards onto your bed.

You stayed silent as he came and continued to stroke himself well after the fact. Turning your foot over side to side, you were happy not to get any of Megumi’s cum on you. As soon as his hand stopped moving, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, not letting him bask in the afterglow at all.

“Get the fuck out.” Dragging him off the bed, you didn’t care about hurting him. Dragging him to the door, you threw it open. “Get out, out, out.”

“Okay!” Hastily pulling his pants up and fixing his shirt, Megumi grimaced at his clothes sticking to his cum covered skin.

“If I see you in my room again I’m beating the shit out of you.” Those were the last words out of your mouth before you slammed the door closed, and Megumi had to admit that hearing you threaten him like that had his cock already twitching back to life.

[wy-van-sunshine]

“Minor inconvenience: I fell in love with you” A Wesper fanfiction :)

“Say whaaaat now?!”

Wylan’s cheeks flushed with red as Jesper’s gaze studied him with something between shock and amusement.

They were in a bar together and Wylan had spotted a nice guy, but he hadn’t found the gut to go and talk to him because he had absolutely zero experience. Jesper had tried to encourage him and he’d refused, and after some teasing he’d finally admitted he’d never even given his first kiss. Jesper was absolutely incredulous: that smart, cute red-haired guy had never had a romantic past with anyone? Not even a flirt?!

“What do you want me to say?” asked Wylan, sinking in his own shame: “There’s just never been... the right occasion”

“I get that, but have you never wanted to try it? Even with a stranger, just to know how it feels!”

“I’m not that kind of person, I don’t kiss strangers for selfish reasons”

Jesper rolled his eyes: “Okay prince charming, and what about the guys you’ve liked in the past? None of them?”

Wylan scrolled his head: “I’m an introverted, Jes, you know that. If I like someone I’ll die before even talking to them”

“So what, you just look at them in silence and hope that they will miraculously fall in love with you?”

Wylan shifted uncomfortably on his seat, refusing to answer: yes, that was basically what he did. He was pathetic and he knew it, but what could he do about that?

Jesper stood up, grinning: “Well, Wylan Van Eck, your life as a virgin will be over soon”

Wylan’s eyes wandered fastly in the room, then went back to Jesper: “Don’t talk like that when there’s other people around us”

“My candor is my greatest power” answered the Zemeni with a wink: “I’ll teach you everything I know about flirting, and you’ll never be afraid to talk to a nice guy again”

“What- are you crazy?”

“No”

“Drunk?”

“No”

“High?”

“Stop it! I’m serious!” Jesper smiled: “You are a great guy and I’m sure you just need to learn how to hit on other boys. Once I reveal you all the secrets of love, you’ll be the king. Well, the prince, after me, of course”

Wylan snorted: “Secrets of love? May I remind you we’re the same age?”

“Yes, but I’m fantastic. Learn from the best and you won’t regret it”

“All I’m going to learn from the sorcerer of love is how to be terribly sleazy”

Jesper clutched a hand to his chest: “That offends me! You’ll learn to be spectacularly amazing, just as I am”

Wylan facepalmed, but at the same time he thought: what the hell, what do I have to lose?

“Fine then, if you insist” he conceded with a sigh.

* * * * *

“And that concludes the small talk part”

“Ghezen, that’s so sad”

“Or amazing?”

“Sad”

“Or... amazing?”

Wylan sighed: “Asking someone whether their parents were thieves because their eyes look like stolen stars is so sad. And old. And sleazy”

Jesper smiled, winking with his gleamy eyes: “I assure you it works. It might be obvious, but people just don’t know how to answer and stupidly smile at you”

“I thought they would throw their drink on your face”

“No, they don’t”

“I would”

“But not them”

Wylan sighed again, but this time a slight smile was touching his lips: he was secretly grateful to Jesper because he was teaching him things that were so basic, but which he didn’t know how to handle. Approaching someone, starting a conversation, sending signals of interest without being weird or disrespectful: if he had to be honest, if Jesper had flirted with him with all those techniques it probably would’ve worked. Sure, he would’ve thrown him his drink first, but he would’ve fallen for him, eventually. 

“Now the interesting part: kissing”

Wylan suddenly went pale: “What?”

“All that flirting and no action? That’s not what I want for my students to learn”

“But I- I’ve never-”

“I know, that’s why we’re going to find someone to practice with”

Wylan snorted: “I’m not going to kiss a stranger! Are you out of your mind?”

Jesper rolled his eyes: “Jeez, Wylan, you’re so prudish! Live a little!”

“I’m not kissing a stranger. End of argument”

Jesper huffed: he was loving to share his knowledge on the subject and he was also proud of Wylan for getting over his shyness at least with him. The merchling was a handsome guy and Jesper was sure that with a little more confidence the entire world would fall to his feet. But, jeez, how hard it was.

“I can’t teach you how to kiss if you have no one to do it with”

“I’ll kiss you then”

Silence fell between the two: Wylan had spoken before he could even realize what his words meant, and now he was terrified of what he’d said and trying to avoid Jesper’s eye contact; Jesper, on the other hand, wasn’t embarassed at all, just surprised at his friend’s suggestion. 

Wylan talked first: “I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s fine by me” Jesper stopped him before he could get any more red: “It’ll be easier to understand whether you’re doing it right”

Wylan gazed at him, unsure of what to say: “Are you... sure?”

Jesper winked: “Anything for you, my friend”

They got ready to practice: Jesper explained some basic “rules” about kissing and some moves he thought were gracefully good and that would make the kiss unique and mostly unforgettable. He saw Wylan’s eyes gleaming at the thought of doing that and his heart softened: he was so pure, definitely too cute for this world. Jesper made a mental note to threaten every guy the redhead would find because they should treat him like a prince or else- 

The Zemeni smiled at Wylan, sure that what he was going to say would make his friend’s brain crash for some seconds. 

“Now we have to put all this in action. Time to kiss, loveboy”

Wylan shifted uncomfortably on his feet and his cheeks went pinker.

Predictable. Cute, but predictable.

“All right. What should I... should we...”

Jesper placed a hand on Wylan’s shoulder and he stepped forward to face him. He smiled, but not his usual, smart, all-knowing grin: the merchling had seen that emotion few times before on Jesper’s features. He was simply honest.

“Please, promise not to freak out. It’s just you and me and we’re practising. C’mon now”

Wylan nodded and took a deep breath, then leaned forward with his head and, after hesitating for the barest second, he gently touched Jesper’s lips for a brief moment. He closed his eyes and left a kiss there, then pulled away, his heart racing in his chest for no apparent reason.

Jesper felt something in his stomach as well: he felt like that sweet, innocent, small touch was the best kiss he’d ever had. And he’d had a lot. What was happening? He cleared his throat and laughed: “That’s all you have? I’ve taught you better, I hope!”

Wylan mentally asked his heart to please stop playing the rock ‘n roll like a drummer, then timidly smiled: “It’s not easy, give me time”

But Jesper didn’t want to wait: he knew what to expect, he knew how the kisses he gave were, and he really wanted that from Wylan’s lips. Just blind desire, he told himself. You just want a good old fashioned kiss, that’s all.

Wylan breathed again, then, with less hesitation than before, he met Jesper’s lips with his and started kissing him. He felt the Zemeni kissing him back, though not in the passionate way he’d expected: he was just answering to his movements, he wasn’t forcing anything. Such a good teacher.

When he felt ready enough, Wylan tipped with his tongue on Jesper’s lower lip and the sharpshooter opened his mouth and let their tongues touch timidly at first, the merchling experiencing all of that for the first time and taking his time to get more confident. He let out a shaky breath, insecurity already taking place in his body, but Jesper felt that and cupped Wylan’s face in his hands, gently brushing his cheeks with his thumbs and feeling his muscles relax.

Wylan summoned some courage then and deepened their connection, dancing in Jesper’s mouth, pushing forward for more contact, letting his instinct take control over his overthinking mind. He put his hands on Jesper’s chest and he pushed him with his back against the wall, something new blossoming in his chest, some unknown desire running down his spine. 

Wylan felt good. It wasn’t just the kiss - he had no experience, sure, but he was pretty sure he was making a pretty good job. The whole situation felt right: the fact that the lips he was kissing were Jesper’s, the fact that the body he was trapping between him and the wall was Jesper’s, just Jesper himself. It was all right because Jesper was the one there with him. And Wylan was starting to think it wasn’t because they were good friends. Almost definitely not.

On the other hand, Jesper was in a total black out, error 404, not found: he was lost in Wylan’s lips and he wasn’t going to look for a way back, he was just focusing on their moment, there and now, on Wylan’s sudden bravery, on the warmth of his body, on the sweet flavour of his mouth. He didn’t know what was happening - or better: he did, but he was too busy to focus on what his actual feelings towards his friend were. 

When Wylan pulled away, desperately looking for some oxygen to send to his lungs, Jesper leaned his forehead on Wylan’s, eyes closed, and he laughed: “Well, damn well done, I’d say. Looks like the student bested the teacher”

Wylan laughed, his cheeks already pink for the kiss, then leaned one hand on Jesper’s cheek, meeting his gaze: “That felt good. I think I’ve learned something, after all”

Jesper cleared his throat, then said in a whisper: “Gotta be honest, I’ve never had such a great kiss”

“Must be because I used your technique and you think you’re the best” answered Wylan, smiling.

“Well, I do love myself, but...” Jesper didn’t break the eye contact and smiled back “I don’t know what happened, but that wasn’t me. You were passionate, for sure, but there was something... I don’t know, soft? It was your kiss, your way to do it. Turns out you’re a natural”

Wylan laughed: “For what it’s worth, I think I was able to be myself just thanks to you”

“Well, then you should...” Jesper hesitated “Try it with someone else?”

The merchling studied the Zemeni carefully: he looked reluctant at the thought, he... didn’t want him to kiss someone else? He smiled, thinking about how his own heart raced, how his own body longed for that contact with Jeper again and again. Wylan also thought about how Jesper had reacted to his kiss, about what he’d just told him. 

What if the hearts going crazy in that room were two?

Wylan grinned then, an eyebrow raised: he took a step forward and he reached Jesper’s face, stopping a few inches from his lips: “What if I wanted to kiss you again? And not just to practice?”

Jesper softly laughed: “Saints, you’re savage, Van Eck, I’ve unleashed a beast”

“You-”

Wylan couldn’t finish because this time Jesper kissed him first. He smiled in their kiss, and they both felt as good as they never had before. 

He’d learned well, after all.

[merakiui]

welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T