#about to burst into tears!!!!! apparently whatever emotion i show on the outside is all i am in that present moment! i am an npc only

[kaguya-muneuji]

doomscrolled for like 4-5 hours and i regret everything now.

[frogtanii]

iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[broadwayandnetflix]

i have a request for bo burnham!!:) maybe like the reader and bo watch the special when he gets done editing it and doing all the other stuff he has to do for it, and he records her reaction to the whole thing and that’s how he announces the special?? i know that’s weird but it’s been stuck in my head, so you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!

Test Run - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: FLUFF (angst if you like squint)

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: y’all I wrote this so fast, like kachow. I hope you enjoyed it, and got a break from all of the angst. but angst is still good. but this fic is not me fangirling over inside. never, couldn’t be me. I hope you enjoyed the fic though @bos-a-feminist I had sm fun writing it.

It had been late one evening when Bo had practically burst into the door of your bedroom. You sat puzzled as you gave the man time to catch his breath, as he gave you an eager look.

Trying not to giggle as Bruce yipped at Bo’s feet in pure excitement, it seemed he too was trying to figure out what was going on.

“What? Are we finally gonna have sex again?” you say humorously, causing the man to break composure for just a second.

“No! I mean what the fuck? Yes, yes, and to answer your question, yes. But not right now.”

You giggle as he looks at you with an expression you couldn’t fully decipher. In any constellation, it had been months since you had seen the man this energetic.

Usually, when Bo would come back from his long days in the guest house, he’d tend to be exhausted. Often just giving you a quick kiss before collapsing onto the mattress.

His blue eyes softening towards you as he extends his hand for you to take. Which made you realize that there was an ounce of seriousness in his actions.

Your hands fitting perfectly in his as he pulls you up from the bed, one hand making sure to hold the small of your back.

“Where are we going?” you breathe out.

Bo remained silent, but you found out soon enough as he led you outside to the guest house.

You had stopped dead in your tracks, causing him to do the same. Eyes widening as you realized what was gonna happen, turning to Bo and giving him the biggest grin you could muster.

From the minute he had set foot in the guest house to begin his special, he had been very secretive about it. Something about how it helped him to create something that no one really knew about.

I mean, you had some idea when the UPS trucks kept delivering camera equipment. Or when he had asked if he could take some of your clothes. Other than that, though, top secret.

It had been about roughly a little over a year when he had started the special. A year of emotions and hard work, and by the looks of it.

It seemed as though he had finished.

“Wait are you doing what I think you are doing?” you say, looking at him expectedly.

“Shit babe you catch on quick. Yes, if we are on the same mindset. I think we are, now hush, or I’ll never get to show you it.” Bo instructs before leading you inside.

In all honesty, you didn’t know what to expect. The last time you had seen the guest house had been roughly two years ago. Now? It looked completely different.

Wires and different camera equipment lay waste on the floor, making it almost a hazard. Other lights of various types and sizes filled the room like mini metal trees. It looked disorganized and yet organized at the same time.

Yet Bo walked through the maze of equipment with ease, almost as if it wasn’t even there. You smiled before tiptoeing to the clearing that Bo had made for you.

“Yeah apologies, I wasn’t expecting company.” Bo smirks as you break into laughter.

“It looks…well it looks well used.” you reply, getting comfortable on the chair he had provided.

In front of you sat a projection on the wall of what seemed to be an editing software. You looked back at Bo with an eager grin; he gives you a slight wink.

Anticipation settling in the air as you watched him mess around with the monitor. Until his cursor finally presses on a folder and a video screen pulls up.

You half expected him to sit beside you. Still, instead, he remains behind the computer, amongst his sea of technological instruments and cameras.

“Y/N, I’m showing this to you. Simply because you deserve to see why I’ve been so busy for like a year or more. Plus, you mean the world to me and I wanna know your input.”

Bo says softly. You can detect a hint of nerves in his actions and tone; you practically melt, realizing that was he anxious. Regardless you knew without a shadow of a doubt you were gonna love whatever he puts out.

You open your mouth to reply before he presses play, and an eerie ringing fills the room. Music filling your senses as the special, titled Inside, plays before you.

The next hour or two fills you with a multitude of emotions that you can’t quite place. It seemed like Bo was making you laugh seconds ago, and now you can’t help but feel tears well up in your eyes.

Cinematically it was stunning, breathtaking even. It was hard to believe that Bo had turned the little guest house into a studio. Or at least to the extent that it became, with its gorgeous displays and production.

Performance-wise, it was a completely different ballpark. Bo fucking delivered in more ways than one, whether in humor or just pure raw emotion.

Acting or not, it broke your heart to see the man you loved so dearly in the state that he was in. Of course, you could tell something was up even then when he was filming, but he never gave away the extent of it.

Just hearing him cry made your stomach twist in knots; you wanted to comfort him. Only to be reminded that it was just merely a video of him.

Even at the moment, it took you everything not to look back at Bo; you knew how much he valued your attention. Plus, you wanted to experience the special in full, just as you would if he were on stage.

The special wasn’t the same as his others, but it was well needed for a time like this. It felt personal and introspective, but it was also oh so clever and in-depth. You adored it and the time and effort that he had put into it.

As the credits rolled out and you saw an acknowledgment for your name, your heart soared.

You knew that the two of you had worked hard to be there for each other the past year. Especially with everything that was going on and Bo working most of the time.

To know that you had helped him in any shape or form. It just meant a lot, in more ways than he’d ever know.

The lights in the room flickered on as if he had made a make-shift movie theatre. You wiped away any stray tears, and before he could even say anything, you ran into his arms.

Bo jolting back in surprise before accepting the embrace and holding you tighter into his chest. His head resting gently on top of yours due to his taller stature.

“God I love you so much, more than you’ll ever know. I seriously don’t know if I would’ve made it out alive this past year if I didn’t have you.” he croaked into your hold.

It took you a second to realize that the man was crying, and you pulled away to meet his eyes. Your fingers brushing away his tears before reaching up to give him a kiss.

His figure bending down just a tad to meet your lips as he kisses you back sweetly. It’s light and yet so filled with passion for making up for what time that had been lost.

Yet as he looks down at you, a smile etching across his lips. As he asks you about what your thoughts are on his special, he already knows your response.

Unbeknownst to you, he had recorded your entire viewing experience. Of course, if he were to ever share it anywhere, he’d ask your permission, but it was apparent.

Even as you told him how much you loved it and how much you enjoyed it. You knew that he knew that you understood the special the way he had intended it.

It was one of the many things that made him adore you endlessly. You meant the world to him.

“We should celebrate babe! Maybe order a pizza or something.” you exclaim, arms still wrapped around his neck in your embrace.

“We definitely should, but what pizza places are open at this hour?” Bo smirks as you give him a slight frown.

“I don’t know, that’s a good question.” you hesitate.

“Actually I do know one place that’s really good and delivers.” Bo whispers seductively up against your ear.

You giggle and gesture for him to continue as he swiftly pulls away from your hold. His hand outstretched for you to take once again as he leads you towards the house. Or, more importantly, towards your bedroom.

“Me.”

——————————————————————------------------------------------

Bo sat anxiously beside you as his fingers lingered over the ‘post’ button on his different social media accounts.

The post in question was a video that he stitched together of you watching the special. With your consent, of course.

It had been edited together to be vague enough that he wouldn’t spoil the special. But nonetheless, it was sweet, and he totally made sure to include you tearing up in it.

You made it a priority to tackle him for that one.

The video was sweet and short, but it got the intended message across, and you personally loved it, just like you loved Bo and the special.

“Any-day now Robert.” you tease as you hold his one hand in yours.

“Do you think that they’ll wanna watch it?” he whispers quietly.

“Of course they will, it’s you. Baby you are so talented, your fans will be so excited.” you reassure.

Bo sighs before squeezing your one hand tightly before pressing the button. And letting Inside out into the world.

[emmyhem]

always (l.r.h) part two

a/n: hi everybody! here is always part two, this is actually one of my favorite writings and one that I was looking forward to writing and posting a lot. it’s another angsty piece but with a sappy happy ending :) also it’s unedited but what else is new. i’ll probably post again tomorrow either a bestfriend!calum piece or a roomate!luke piece that are titled in my masterlist. i hope everyone enjoys and is having a wonderful day. i definitely am after that livestream today. (i would say that i didn’t cry because of how good and happy they all looked but that would be a lie) anyway i hope you enjoy and as always my messages are always open to chat or whatever and feedback and comments are always appreciated. thank you - emmy <33

pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader 

summary: it’s time for you decide whether or not luke’s mistake is worth losing the love of your life. 

warning(s): mentions of alcohol, cursing, angst (but with a happy ending), self doubt, insecurity, mention of throwing up 

word count: 2.9k

pt. 1

The longer you watched the window the more you were convinced mother nature was taunting you. The rain droplets that cascaded down the glass mirroring the tears that hadn’t stopped falling since you left Luke speechless in the driveway. It had to be for your benefit, I mean it was Los Angeles. California was in a drought for god’s sake. 

Despite the fact that nature was mocking you, you couldn’t dare pull your eyes away. The alternative was to face the endless voicemails waiting for you on your phone that glowed dimly beside you. You knew you would have to hear them eventually but right now you knew that even a breath, let alone full sentences from Luke would break you in every sense of the word. You feared the sound almost as much as the content behind it.

 You weren’t ready to be okay, you needed to wallow in your pain for a bit longer. As bad as that sounds you knew it was the only way you could convince yourself to let him back in, to forgive him. It was also the only way you could forgive yourself. Your body needed to feel how tortured you were without him, how much you needed his affection, his love, and him. Not his money. 

Part of you knew deep down that Luke didn’t mean what he said, the part that awakened the butterflies that had taken permanent residence in your stomach since he had entered your life. The part that caused all your senses to align when Luke kissed you the night you finally understood what it meant to love someone with everything you have. The same part that was clawing at your heart right now as your mind replayed the look of pure devastation that was painted on Luke’s pretty features as you drove away from him. That part was itching for you to run to him, to cuddle into his embrace and say “I forgive you. I’ll never leave you again. Love me?” 

But, it was the other part of you that was causing the problems right now, the part that snuck up on you each time you felt secure in yourself and tore it all down in seconds. The part that told you there was no way you were good enough for your boyfriend when you stared at your reflection in the mirror for even a second too long. The part that Luke was typically the one to silence when it overwhelmed you in a crowded room, with just a tender kiss to the forehead, or squeeze of your hand. The same part that constantly craved for Luke to be proud of you the way you were of him in anything he decided to pursue. That part was completely shattered last week when, whether intentionally or not he showed you that not only was he not proud, but also felt burdened by your lack of brilliance. 

“Y/n,” your friend called, breaking you from your self-loathing thoughts as she approached your brittle body, enveloped in every single fuzzy blanket you could get your hands on. 

“Hi.” you croaked, pulling your stinging eyes from where they had settled on a particularly large rain droplet that had stolen your interest as you wondered how much more water it could withstand before it burst from its flawless embodiment and shattered to the sill below. You wondered the same about Luke, how much more of your insecurity and emotional baggage would it take for him to burst. How much more of your mediocrity could he compensate for before you began to strip him of his excellence? 

“Have you talked to him yet?” she inquired, eyes going soft as she looked at you with sympathy. 

“No.” you groaned, pulling yourself up. “Do I have to?” 

She shook her head, dismissing you. “You know that you’re welcome here as long as you want, but anyone could tell that you’re completely miserable without him, even if he is being an epic prick.” 

You sniffled and wrapped your arms around your best friend.

“Am I an idiot for wanting to forgive him?” you spoke into her hair. 

She returned the embrace and settled next to you in the bed, “I think if he really is sorry then you’re incredibly strong for it. And you’re never an idiot, that would be your blonde haired beau.” 

You laughed softly at her innocent dig, the giggle catching slightly in your throat as it had only been releasing pathetic pleas, and broken sobs for the past few days. 

Y/f/n handed you your phone, the photo of Luke and Petunia sitting by the pool being almost completely covered by all the missed call notifications that had taken over your lock screen. 

“I think you should at least hear what he has to say babe, for your sake if not for his.” 

You let out a heavy sigh and accepted the phone, wrapping your favorite blanket around your shoulders and dragging your feet to the bathroom for some privacy. 

You took a seat in the empty bathtub throwing the blanket across your body. You reasoned it was the perfect place to listen to the messages because as soon as Luke’s voice flooded the room you would be completely submerged in him and you didn’t trust your legs to hold you up. 

You clicked the most recent voicemail, time stamped from 1:28 am last night. As you selected the speaker option you allowed your eyes to fall closed and without noticing or trying you held your breath. 

“Y/n,” 

Only one word in you could immediately tell two things without a trace of doubt. One, he’d been crying, and two he was drunk. If you had to guess you would say tequila, it had always been his favorite and he had a bad habit of nursing his wounds in the liquor cabinet. It shattered your heart to think of him broken, and vulnerable and as he continued to speak you found yourself wrapping your arms around your body for comfort. 

“I miss you and I’m sorry. I-” his voice cut off as a sob played through your phone. You released a matching one while squeezing  your eyes tighter, a shaky hand bringing your phone closer as if it would bring him as well. 

As he continued, your mind began to paint a vivid picture. You saw him sitting on the kitchen floor, an old ratty sweatshirt struggling to keep him warm, damp tear stains spoiling the sleeves. There was a half empty bottle to his side and the tip of his nose was red as it peeked out from the hood. You shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself of the image that felt like your personal nightmare.

“I-I can’t live without you, really I don’t think I can. I need you and I love you. I love you so much. Just please come home to me, please baby.” he spoke through gasps of breath that caused worry to spread across your body.

You paused the message as a dull ache creeped up from the bottom of your stomach and to your throat which was tightening by the second. You tossed your phone onto the blanket which you had kicked off as your body heated up, and sprung out of the tub landing firmly in front of the toilet. Gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail in your hand you hunched over and retched into the bowl. Y/f/n burst through the door as you gagged and coughed repeatedly, she took your hair from you and rubbed soothing circles on your back as you tried to focus your breathing through your nose. This wasn’t the first time you had cried yourself into throwing up during your stay so she knew what to do to calm you down and settle your stomach. 

As you finished the glass of water she had poured from the sink while you brushed your teeth she held your car keys out to you. 

“Please go see him. I can’t see you like this anymore.” 

You nodded accepting the keys reluctantly and made your way to your car.

 Once outside you noted that the rain had started coming down harder, it seemed fitting as your situation reached its climax. By the time you got into the car your hair was wet and stringy, dripping onto Luke’s shirt that you had been wearing since the night you left. You quickly tied it back and drove away, hoping the sound of the rain could calm your nerves before you got back to your house. 

When you got there the sun was setting and the rain was still falling steadily, you grabbed a jacket from the back seat and held it over your head as you ran to the house. The jacket didn’t give you much protection from the water and you were soaked by the time you reached the door. Taking one big breath, in through your nose, and out from your mouth as you had been repeating the whole ride there, you raised your quivering hand and knocked three times. 

Expecting it to take a few minutes for him to reach the door you were shocked when it swung open in just a few seconds. Your heart sunk as you took in Luke’s appearance, although you were sure you looked just as bad if not worse. Deep dark circles sat beneath his bloodshot eyes, his stubble had grown in a bit longer than he typically liked it and his lips were chapped and bitten down. Guilt panged in your chest, how awful of a girlfriend were you to let it get to this point? The thought made you question if he would even want you here. 

Apparently the time apart had completely fucked with your ability to read Luke’s face because even frozen in shock, his eyes began to fade into that special soft color of blue they only got to around you. He felt as if a giant weight had been lifted from his chest and just as it had been since the moment you left the only word running through his head was “y/n.” 

He didn’t see your messy, wet hair or the ratty tshirt that swallowed your figure. He didn’t see your eyes puffy from crying or your bitten down nails that you were bringing back up to your mouth in that moment as your nerves got the best of you. All he saw was y/n. His y/n. You came home to him and as far as he was concerned you looked like an angel. Warm, sweet, and perfect. So fucking perfect. 

Your eyes ran over his face anxiously, waiting for him to say something, or invite you in, or even slam the door in your face. Anything. After a minute of silence you gathered up the courage to speak first. 

“Sorry I never called you bac-'' your words were knocked from your mouth when Luke took a step forward and wrapped you up into the tightest hug you’d ever experienced. Your limbs fit together perfectly, and the second your bodies met you felt recharged, as if everything was in place once again. And Luke felt like for the first time in a week he could breathe. 

“I don’t deserve you.” he sighed as you pressed your nose into his chest deeply breathing in the smell you could only describe as home. “Thank you for coming back to me, I don’t work without you.” 

From your position in his arms you could see the mess splayed on the floor behind him. It was just as you had pictured it earlier, a thin blanket and scratchy throw pillow were scattered on the floor in front of the sink, a bottle lying on it’s side just next to them. Guilt inched up your spine when your eyes made contact with a framed picture of the two of you on top of the blanket. 

“I’m sorry.” you sobbed into his chest, your hands clawing at the material of his sweatshirt. 

He pulled back quickly, keeping his hands on either sides of your waist, “No baby, why’re you sorry. This is all my fault, I was awful. You...you’re perfect.” he pressed as you shook your head in distress, unable to stop your tears. 

“N-no I stayed away for so long, even when I knew I wa-wanted to forgive you. I was embarrassed and...and selfish.” you struggled to speak over your tears while Luke looked down at you sad and confused. 

“What’re you talking about, love?” 

You sniffed and dropped your hands from Luke’s chest, “I j-just wanted you to be proud of me.” the end of your sentence was nearly lost in your sobs but Luke understood. And in that moment he regretted going into music instead of engineering, or science, or whatever would’ve helped him to invent  a time machine so he could go back and beat the shit out of whoever or whatever had possessed him last week. 

His hands moved to cup your cheeks, his thumb tracing lightly over your bottom lip. 

“I am proud of you baby.” 

He leaned in slowly, and hesitantly, almost as if he was testing the waters, like this was new. As if he hadn’t kissed you thousands of times before. You looked up at him through your lashes littered with unshed tears and nodded your head slowly. He still had so much left to say, you still had so much left to say but you both had been needing this for as long as you’d lost it. He pressed his lips to yours gently, afraid that even one wrong move and you would decide that you had made the wrong choice in coming back. He wouldn’t survive that, he couldn’t lose you twice. 

As he went to pull away you snaked a hand around the back of his neck pulling him back towards you. This time when your lips collided his body sagged into it, both arms wrapping around your back and lifting you up to the tips of your toes. Your eyes drifted shut and you reveled in the feeling of him pressed up against you like this. When the kiss broke you kept your faces close enough that your noses were touching, and opened your eyes to see Luke’s still closed, his eyebrows furrowed as he pressed his forehead to you. 

“You’re what I’m most proud of.” he exhaled, his eyelids still shut lightly. “My greatest achievement is getting you to love me and I can’t believe I almost blew it.” 

You brought a hand to his face and stroked his cheek lightly, the feeling of his overgrown stubble foreign to your fingers. 

“It would take a lot more to get rid of me.” you assured. “I think m’too in love with you.” 

He opened his eyes, locking them with your own, and spoke firmly but with a softness that was and would always be reserved for only you. 

“I want to make it clear that you do not in any way leech.” he dragged the last word out, laced in disgust as if it were hard for him to say. “I lucked out. I actually just seem to keep lucking out, my job, my life, and you.” He placed a hand across your jaw and tilted your chin up before continuing. “I completely lucked out with you. I have lots of money, more than I need actually and it makes me feel fucking incredible that I can take care of you. That’s all I wanna do for the rest of my life.” 

Your mouth broke into a smile hearing him verbally commit to a lifetime with you. 

“But, with that being said I know you don’t need me-” 

“I do need you.” you interrupted. 

Luke threw his head back at your words, a toothy grin overtaking his face before he pressed a chaste peck to your forehead. 

“Y’know what? You’re too fucking cute. I meant financially baby, m’trying to apologize here.” 

You nodded for him to continue, struggling to contain your own beaming smile. 

“Anything you decide to do occupationally or otherwise could never, ever let me down. You’re physically incapable of it. I’d be a lucky guy if you let me stick around for it all and I promise to never forget that again. I’m sorry I did in the first place.” he took a deep breath before finishing his rant. “M’only able to give you the world if you let me. Let me?” 

You answered his question by attaching your lips once again, desire and need radiating off of the place where your lips met. As your taste buds reacquainted themselves with Luke’s mouth you wondered how you had gone even a day without him. 

Luke felt like he was flying and he couldn’t wrap his head around how anyone in the world could live without, seeing you, knowing you, and kissing you. He also knew that he would do anything to ensure that he never had to go a day without you for the rest of his life. 

“How long does it take to get an engagement ring sized?” he wondered to himself. 

If he could’ve read your mind he would’ve seen white gowns, tiered cakes, and little blue eyed, curly haired monsters running amuck. 

“I want everything with you, the whole world.” you affirmed when you pulled apart for air. 

“Yea?” he responded. 

You hummed against his lips, “Always.” 

[lunarfly]

Harmione Essay: the most underrated H/Hr hug

The Harry Potter movies did a great job at showing one part of book Harmione - they share lots of hugs. But this seemed to shift the attention from book Harmione hugs to movie Harmione hugs. And the situation is worse than you’d think. Many Harmione fans not only underrate some book hugs, but most don’t even know the existence of them. I’m going to be discussing the most underrated hug shared between Harry and Hermione. The one that happens in HBP after Dumbledore’s death. Here’s the hug I’m talking about:

They [Harry and Ginny] had reached the hospital wing. Pushing open the doors, Harry saw Neville lying, apparently asleep, in a bed near the door. Ron, Hermione, Luna, Tonks, and Lupin were gathered around another bed near the far end of the ward. At the sound of the doors opening, they all looked up. Hermione ran to Harry and hugged him; Lupin moved forward too, looking anxious. 

In this scene, Harry had just seen Dumbledore’s dead body and Ginny was taking him to the hospital wing on McGonagall’s orders. Right as Harry stepped in, he looked around, everyone started looking at him and Hermione jumped in his arms and hugged him. 

At first glance, this may seem like a regular H/Hr moment, just another one of their hugs. It may seem like nothing special, we don’t get a unique description of the hug like we did in OotP, for example, when Hermione “threw herself into a hug that nearly knocked him flat.” So you may think it’s not s big deal at all.

But it is.

We have quite a few things to keep in mind while analyzing this hug, one of them being the phrasing. As I said, this hug doesn’t get a unique description but there’s still one thing to note:

At the sound of the doors opening, they all looked up. Hermione ran to Harry and hugged him; Lupin moved forward too, looking anxious.

Hermione didn’t just wrap her arms around him, she ran to him. She was probably standing at the other side of the room but as she heard the “sound of the doors opening”, she immediately saw Harry and ran up to him just to hug him! It’s such a sweet moment.

That’s not all though. It isn’t only cute, it’s also deep and emotional. To understand this, we’ll just have to take a look at the context of this hug, which gives it most of its depth and beauty. 

Here’s a rather long (sorry!) scene for some context:

Dumbledore turned back to look out of the fiery window; the sun was now a ruby red glare along the horizon. Harry walked quickly from the office and down the spiral staircase. His mind was oddly clear all of a sudden. He knew what to do.

Ron and Hermione were sitting together in the common room when he came back. “What does he want?” Hermione said at once. “Harry, are you okay?” she added anxiously.

“I’m fine,” said Harry shortly, racing past them. He dashed up the stairs and into his dormitory, where he flung open his trunk and pulled out the Marauder’s Map and a pair of balled-up socks. Then he sped back down the stairs and into the common room, skidding to a halt where Ron and Hermione sat, looking stunned.

“I’ve got to be quick,” Harry panted. “Dumbledore thinks I’m getting my Invisibility Cloak. Listen. . . .”

Quickly he told them where he was going and why. He did not pause either for Hermione’s gasps of horror or for Ron’s hasty questions; they could work out the finer details for themselves later.

“. . . so you see what this means?” Harry finished at a gallop. “Dumbledore won’t be here tonight, so Malfoy’s going to have another clear shot at whatever he’s up to. No, listen to me!” he hissed angrily, as both Ron and Hermione showed every sign of interrupting. “I know it was Malfoy celebrating in the Room of Requirement. Here —” He shoved the Marauder’s Map into Hermione’s hands. “You’ve got to watch him and you’ve got to watch Snape too. Use anyone else who you can rustle up from the D.A., Hermione, those contact Galleons will still work, right? Dumbledore says he’s put extra protection in the school, but if Snape’s involved, he’ll know what Dumbledore’s protection is, and how to avoid it — but he won’t be expecting you lot to be on the watch, will he?”

“Harry —” began Hermione, her eyes huge with fear.

“I haven’t got time to argue,” said Harry curtly. “Take this as well —”

He thrust the socks into Ron’s hands.

“Thanks,” said Ron. “Er — why do I need socks?”

“You need what’s wrapped in them, it’s the Felix Felicis. Share it between yourselves and Ginny too. Say good-bye to her for me. I’d better go, Dumbledore’s waiting —”

“No!” said Hermione, as Ron unwrapped the tiny little bottle of golden potion, looking awestruck. “We don’t want it, you take it, who knows what you’re going to be facing?”

“I’ll be fine, I’ll be with Dumbledore,” said Harry. “I want to know you lot are okay. . . . Don’t look like that, Hermione, I’ll see you later. . . .”

And he was off, hurrying back through the portrait hole and toward the entrance hall.

So I’ve highlighted the parts to pay the most attention to.

Basically, Harry rushes into the common room after meeting Dumbledore, Hermione asks him what has happened and she notices that Harry looks worried and is in a rush. She asks him what has happened and she’s anxious because she’s already worried just by seeing the look on his face. Harry answers “shortly” and runs to get the marauders map and Felix Felicis to give them to Hermione and Ron. He explains everything to them quickly, leaving out the details, and tells them what to do with the map and to take the Felix Felicis because he’s sure that Draco has achieved something which means no good. And now he’s off to this dangerous mission out of Hogwarts with Dumbledore where his life could possibly be put in danger! Just imagine how Ron and Hermione feel right now. Their best friend is taking a huge risk and is taking part in fighting the dark arts and he might not even return. They’re both looking “stunned” and Hermione is gasping out of horror! That’s right. Her worries and fears are sky-high. And now, after this short explanation, while Harry is “racing”, “speeding” and “dashing” to do everything in time and he’s going so fast that he’s running out of breath, “panting”, he’s just going to leave without saying proper goodbyes. The fact that this is all happening in such a rush is extremely important and meaningful because Hermione doesn’t even get to say a proper goodbye, she’s so scared and worried that her eyes are “huge with fear”, she doesn’t know what’s going to happen to Harry, whether she’s even going to see him ever again, she’s ready to reject the liquid luck so Harry can be safe, she’s trying to convince him to take the liquid luck, even after Harry says he’ll be fine with Dumbledore. She’s giving him the look of disapproval but before she can say another word and say a proper goodbye, he’s off again, hurrying to meet Dumbledore and his own possible death.

Just imagine how Hermione is feeling right now. And if that isn’t bad enough, Harry’s prediction actually comes true and death eaters start attacking! Ron, Hermione and Ginny barely survive the attack just by luck, literally. And now, when it’s all over and Hermione’s standing in a room in the hospital wing, desperately waiting for news along with the whole Order, Harry comes in. And she completely loses it. She runs to him and hugs him. Now do you understand the emotion in this scene? Both of them nearly died, she was probably going crazy thinking what could’ve happened to him, Harry was thinking and worrying about her too (”How long had they been away? Had Ron, Hermione, and Ginny’s luck run out by now?” “ Would he be responsible, again, for the death of a friend?”) and now they finally see each other and Hermione is probably feeling lightheaded knowing that he’s safe (compare to the DoM scene in OotP) and she hugs him. She just can’t do otherwise. And all of the unsaid “I’m so glad you’re safe” and “I’ve been so worried about you”s are all expressed through a beautiful and emotional embrace.

Now we know how deep this scene truly is. And imagine how beautiful this scene would be on screen. So much lost potential. 

It brings a smile on my face imagining a worried Hermione running all the way across the room and flinging her arms tightly around Harry, hugging him and both of them looking so deeply relieved. Then quickly breaking apart as Lupin approaches “anxiously” and asks what Hermione doesn’t have the courage to ask. 

The continuation of this scene is also nice. It’s Lupin who asks how Harry is, while Hermione stays silent but still stays next to Harry.

Nobody answered. Harry looked over Hermione’s shoulder and saw an unrecognizable face lying on Bill’s pillow, so badly slashed and ripped that he looked grotesque.

This shows they are still standing near each other. 

And  later everyone else seems interested in the conversation about Dumbledore’s death and Snape’s betrayal but Hermione doesn’t say a word. Like she’s still petrified from everything that’s happened and now this happened too. 

Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned.

[...]

Almost against his will he glanced from Ron to Hermione, both of whom looked devastated.

She looks “devastated” and doesn’t say a single word until Harry directly asks her, it almost reminds me of the scene at the hospital when Ron was poisoned.

“So if Ron was watching the Room of Requirement with Ginny and Neville,” said Harry, turning to Hermione, “were you — ?” 

“Outside Snape’s office, yes,” whispered Hermione, her eyes sparkling with tears, “with Luna. We hung around for ages outside it and nothing happened. . . . We didn’t know what was going on upstairs, Ron had taken the map. . . . It was nearly midnight when Professor Flitwick came sprinting down into the dungeons. He was shouting about Death Eaters in the castle, I don’t think he really registered that Luna and I were there at all, he just burst his way into Snape’s office and we heard him saying that Snape had to go back with him and help and then we heard a loud thump and Snape came hurtling out of his room and he saw us and — and —” 

The rest is irrelevant. I just thought I’d mention that Hermione is whispering and she’s almost crying, on top of all of the battles and duels she went through and all the worries and fears she had before seeing Harry alive, now she’s shocked from the news of Dumbledore. This girl is so strong. 

I know I wrote a little more than I should’ve but I just really love this moment. Their care for each other, their worries and their fears, that’s what strengthens their bond. They have the most emotional relationship out of everyone in the series. This hug was truly beautiful and much, much more than just a hug. 

And to end this essay, I thought I’d give you something about hugs (they happen over 5 times between H/Hr in the books) in general:

“We love to feel loved, and we love to feel good. Hugs satisfy both needs. When you touch someone affectionately, sit or stand close to them, gaze into their eyes, or wrap them in a big bear hug, our body responds on all levels: emotionally, cognitively, and physiologically.

Oxytocin — the human love drug — is also released when we hug. This hormone reduces blood pressure and stress hormones. According to Medical News Today, oxytocin ‘contributes to relaxation, trust, and psychological stability.’ Over time, it makes us feel bonded with another person.

Oxytocin provides feelings of pleasure, contentment, happiness, and even euphoria. These feels feel great — and they’re good for you.”

[fezcosbitch]

JJ MAYBANK IMAGINE:

PASSION AND WILD REGRET 2

After a few requests, here’s the second part to passion and wild regret

you can read part 1 here

if the link doesn't work please tell me! x

I hope you enjoy ❤️

You can request if you want x

Warnings: Angst, hella angst. Also the pogues (kie) are rude in this one like...RUDE. Reader is confrontational and not gonna lie, i’m here for it, like I wish I could do this. also if you like Kie... you about to not like Kie, shes a bit off the rails, mega jealous ex here.

All feedback’s welcome, as long as its not mean or rude 💙

So yeah, hopefully you enjoy❤️

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It was 2:57 when i woke up the following morning, or evening, and i had absolutely no clue what to  do with myself. I had an immense headache, and a deep pain in my heart. How could they do that? say that? You had been there for them all, through everything. Yet somehow they decide to say all that about you. You were there for Kie when she was at her lowest point, you found her in the bathrooms with Sarah, yet when Sarah left, you stayed, and she never saw it. When John B felt like he would never fit in, and you were the only one (apart from JJ) who stuck by him. Or pope, who, for preparation for his college interview wanted someone to revise with so he wouldn’t be lonely for hours on end, and when everyone opted to surf and sun tan instead of help him, you were the one to stay behind and assist him in his studies, while you could’ve been outside in the summer, tanning and surfing. And  then JJ, the person who undoubtedly hurt you the most. You were there for him all the time. Throughout all the beatings his dad gave him. And all the angry times he almost threw his life away by getting arrested. You saved him from so much, and yet he repays you by saying you’re too much for him, and not worth him.

You couldn’t stand having these thoughts festering around in your mind, so decided that the best thing would be to confront the pogues, and ask why they thought what they did. You hopped in your car and drove over to the chateau, ready to either make or break all your supposed friendships.

Pulling up to the chateau, You saw all the pogues sitting around the porch, talking about something you couldn’t hear. After you’ve stepped out your car, you slam the door shut and lock it, as all the pogues heads turn to look at you. JJ immediately gets up and heads towards you, while the rest of the pogues stand up behind him.

“oh baby I-” JJ started, tears brimming in his eyes already just wanting to apologize over and over again. “don’t even JJ, don’t even start” you said , shaking your head at him “I-” he tried again desperate for you to hear what he wanted to say. “NO JJ, NO. You don’t get to speak over me ok? none of you do. I cant believe you guys i mean, how dare you. I’ve done nothing but stick by you! all of you! yet you repay me like this? wow, Thanks guys I really appreciate that yeah. Just, I can’t believe all of you.” You quickly let out, looking at all of them

“I DIDN’T AGREE WITH THEM BABY I SWEAR” JJ bursts out, desperate for you to forgive him. “what?” you question, immediately wanting to know if this is true. “ I-I-I don’t know what you heard but I never agreed to what they said,I would never, please baby believe me, I know you’ve done so much for me, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, I argued fully with them all night, I never once agreed, please take me back.” JJ begged, now directly in front of you grasping onto your hands. “is this true?” you asked the rest of the pogues behind him, desperate to find out if it was true or not, desperately wanting someone on your side. All the pogues solemnly nodded, proving to you that JJ did in fact argue against his friends. You looked him dead in the eye “of course i’ll take you back idiot, i kind of stormed of halfway through, didn’t get to hear what you said” you told him smiling through your tears of joy due to knowing that JJ did in fact fight for you. you quickly take him in your arms and hold him tight, “I’m so sorry” you whispered, knowing it must of been hard for him to read the letter you left him. “It’s ok” he whispered back, lightly kissing your shoulder. In that moment you both knew you were never going to let go of each other again, and that if needed, you’d swim entire oceans to be together. 

In all of that chaos you had forgotten the pogues behind you, who you initially came here for. Breaking out of the hug between you and JJ, you turn to face them with all your pent up anger ready to be unleashed, and knowing JJ was safely with you, and prepared to go to the end of the earth with you, you felt ready to take on whatever your ‘friends’ say to you. 

“What about you guys then?” you started off. “What was that all about? all the ‘Y/ns not good enough for you’, and the ‘she’ll only bring you down’ what was all that?” you questioned looking around at all three of them “Its our honest thoughts” Kie spoke up, making you turn to look at her. “really?” you questioned, cocking one eyebrow. “yeah” she responded, crossing her arms. “boys?” you asked, wanting to see if they agreed. John B was the first to nod his head, almost instantly, and pope slowly after, agreeing with his statement. “wow... All my friends hate me.” you whistled, slowly coming to the full realization. JJ grasped your hand, to remind you that he was there for you. “We don’t hate you y/n... we just hate you and JJ being together” John B backed Kiara up, acting as if it was the most obvious thing ever. “why bro? why can’t you just be happy for us?” JJ questioned from behind you, genuinely curious “ because bro, Shes a bad influence. She doesn’t care bro, not about you, us, anyone man why can’t you see that? sure shes cool and stuff and shes a fun friend but that’s all she should ever be” John B ranted. “ What the fuck bro? All of you think that? wow. So everything I’ve ever done for you guys is washed away by some dumb mistakes right? I do some drugs and SHIT I’m the worst person in the world right? everything I’ve ever done forgotten because of some things I do when I’m drunk right?” you questioned all at once, trying to show them how stupid they were being. “Yes” Kiara responds. “Yes because we don’t know what else you’ll do. First it’s molly, next its what? METH?” Kiara stressed. “You’re unreliable, and God knows what you could get JJ into.” she finished. “wha- Kie why are you SO scared about what JJ could get into man? Like what?  I’d never hurt him, or do anything like that, I love him man, so what are you so worried about?” you ranted, confused by Kies emotions. Of course you understood her worry for her friends. but she didn’t say that about John B, or Pope, so why JJ? “BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM! YOU NEVER DID” Kie fully lets out. Ah, you understood now. “You jealous Kiara?” you questioned? “you want JJ yeah? want him to be with you, so now everything I do apparently is more of a reason for him to be with you yeah?” you finally said, having worked out why she was so angry. Kie and the rest of the pogues were silent at your discovery. “wait, what about you guys?” you questioned the two boys. “well uhh, Kie kinda told us you may have cheated on J”

your jaw dropped. 

“THE FUCK KIE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” you were shocked at the lies she was spilling. “ WELL YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM ANYWAY, THE MORE PEOPLE THAT SEE THAT MAYBE THE MORE HE’LL REALIZE IT, WHO CARES IF THERE’S A COUPLE OF LIES” all of you stood there shocked at what Kie just said. “ the fuck-” JJ started, shocked out of his mind that Kie would say something like that. “ I can’t even. Don’t talk to me Kiara, don’t even approach me until i say so, oh and sort out your major jealousy problem, it’s not cute honey” you said while getting in your car, waiting for JJ to enter in the passenger side. After J got in, you started the car and rolled down your window, “oh and I forgive you boys, i understand why you did it, so like don’t worry. Sort it out Kie, love” you sarcastically grinned and waved to her as you drove away.

“Jesus Christ” you said to JJ “you know I’d never cheat on you don’t you?” you questioned just to make sure. “no of course i know you wouldn’t, its just, the fuck was that with Kie like, what even?” JJ responded. “Honestly, I don’t even know. I forgive John B and Pope cause like, obviously, they were lied to and lead to believe all that but like. How can she be so jealous man?” you questioned, genuinely curious about how one person could be so jealous of another. “I don’t know baby, I don’t know” J responded while kissing your hand.

even though you were away from it all, one question played on your mind...why would she do that?

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So yeah... Kie did that.

What were your thoughts? Please tell me ! 💙

Part 3 anyone? If so please tell me x

Sorry for the long wait x

And also sorry if it’s bad ❤️

But yeah that was that how do you feel about it?

All feedbacks welcome as long as it’s not rude or mean💙

But yeah, cya

People who wanted to be tagged :

@mrsmaybank18 (Wouldn’t let me tag you :( )

@captainwinterwriter @ifilwtmfc @hurricane-abigail

@thenextteen

[weasleyswizardpleases]

Funny Girl (Fred x reader, George x reader)

Summary: Being serious has never been your thing, but when you find yourself at the center of a conflict that tears Fred and George apart in the midst of the second wizarding war, it’s hard to find something to laugh about.

Warnings/Notes: Language, kissing, violence mentions, love triangle?, angst, arguing. Vaguely conceptually inspired by the musical of the same name. Written for @acosmis-t​ ‘s 2.2k writing challenge! 

You’re sitting with George outside of Lee Jordan’s flat, waiting for Fred to finish recording Potterwatch so you can all three grab dinner. You listen absentmindedly on a small radio George produces from his coat pocket, fiddling with your wand. 

“Rapier,” you laugh, “I know it’s called ‘pirate’ radio but it is a bit swashbuckling, don’t you think?” you say, poking fun at the moniker Fred’s chosen for the program.

“I suppose Lee thinks so too, this makes it the third program in a row where he’s called Freddie ‘Rodent’ instead. I’d laugh if we didn’t have the same last name!”

“Well, it suits you both. You’re devious as a couple of weasels and fuzzy, too,” you say, prodding at George’s springy ginger hair playfully. He grins and brushes you off, but your touch seems to stir something in him.

“What is it, did I hit your factory reset button or something?” George smiles halfheartedly, but his brooding becomes more apparent as he tries to cover it up. “C’mon, what’re you pouting about Georgie?”

“Y/n, I have to tell you something,” he says. Your heart sinks at the words. It sounds oddly serious.

“Oh, this can’t be good news,” you mutter, looking at him expectantly. He takes a deep breath.

“Well, I suppose it’s up to you whether it’s good or bad. But hey, look, you have to promise not to tell Fred if it winds up being bad.”

“Deal.”

“Y/N,” he says, turning down the radio, “I like you,”

“Well gee, I like you too. We’ve been friends for about nine years and you’re just now figuring out that you like my company? Some people, I swear.”

“No, I like you. I mean, I, uh, I have feelings for you! But it’s complicated.” Your jaw drops and your hand flies to your mouth.

“Oh! What? You mean-”

As you’re searching for the right words, the door swings open and Fred spills out into the hallway, tugging his long winter coat over his slim shoulders. You try to cover your blush, glancing between them. Fred and George. George and Fred. Your two best friends since first year, your greatest confidants, and now, the two people you trust most amidst the terror of the war. You know instinctively that to be with George would be to close a door to Fred, not just in terms of romance but also friendship. 

“Later,” you hiss excitedly in George’s ear. Fred eyes the two of you suspiciously, but before he can say anything, you’re mocking him boisterously. 

“Good show, Rodent!” you say, clapping him roughly on the back. George composes himself nervously and follows as you and Fred turn to leave. “How about a hunk of cheese? I’ll take you out for something real nice, maybe a wheel of gruyere,” you add. Fred chuckles and throws his arm around you. You’ve always had a more physical friendship with Fred, whether it’s snuggling on the couch or shoving each other about over who gets the better seat on the train. You hope that he can’t feel how tense George’s proposition has made you, and you wriggle out of his arms and jog ahead playfully. 

Because of the affectionate nature of your relationship, you’ve always suspected that Fred may have feelings for you, but never George. You’re blindsided by his confession, and you know it’ll only come between you. Your train of thought is interrupted when the boys ask if you want to come back to theirs for dinner instead of going out. You agree absentmindedly, and Fred steps away to call for takeaway. You willfully ignore George’s pointed glances and look around airily. 

“Y/N,” George says quietly, but forcefully. You sigh.

“Is there something wrong, George?” you say at a normal volume.

“Hush, would you? Well, have I made you uncomfortable or something? You’re being odd, Fred will wonder what’s the matter.”

“You haven’t told Fred?” you sing loudly, hoping to pull the other twin into the conversation. George smacks his forehead and groans, but Fred isn’t paying any attention.

“Y/N, can’t you be serious for one second?”

“Bloody hell, can’t you let me alone for one second?” you snap, surprised at the bite in your voice. George cowers and frowns, but Fred returns before the conversation can continue.

The next few weeks are relatively normal, and you begin to think that your strategy of avoiding any acknowledgement whatever of George’s advances is working. You avoid spending any time alone with George. Most people wouldn’t think it, but you know the twins keep secrets from each other sometimes, like any siblings do, and he obviously hasn’t told Fred about his feelings.

While you’re evading intimate moments with George, you take time to think: do you have feelings for him? The answer is, of course, yes. You’ve always thought he was more classically handsome than his brother, even though a lot of your classmates still couldn’t tell one from the other after years living with them. George’s face is slightly longer and more defined, and the severity of his features can be quite striking, in the right lighting. He’s also always struck you as more outwardly sensitive and caring, in that he notices your feelings more readily. If you’re having a bad day, George is the one to lend a listening ear. He’s seen you at your worst and apparently likes you quite a lot in spite of it.

Fred, on the other hand, is more like you in every way: he’s the louder one of the twins, more boisterous, a bit rougher looking. Like you, it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers, but once something gets to him, he’s quick to anger. Your tempers have rarely led you to fight, but when it’s happened George has always been there to smooth things out between the two of you. You’d even say that you’re slightly closer to Fred, although your relationship with him is more intuitive than your friendship with George- with George, you explain yourself, but with Fred, there’s no need. 

You’re pondering the situation on the boys’ sofa when Fred bursts through the door, looking quite cheeky. His shifty eyes belie some sort of mischief.

“Alright! Out with it, or I’m leaving before you get me with the bucket over the door trick again! I haven’t got any dry clothes,” you pout.

“Who’s to say there’s anything to tell?”

“I’ll believe that when you wipe the smirk off your face,” you counter. 

“What smirk?” he says, blushing. You raise your wand defensively. 

“Hey! I pinky promise, I’m not planning on pranking you,” he says. You wiggle your wand, raising an eyebrow.

“What are you planning, then? Tell me or I’m tying your shoelaces together with this thing.” 

“Fine, but would you put the wand down? It’s not a prank, I promise.” he moves to sit on the couch and you cower, giggling, sure that he’s at least going to go in for a tickle. 

“I’m not gonna tickle you!” he exclaims, but wiggles his fingers in your direction. The mere idea of it makes you shake desperately with laughter. 

“Stop! Ah! Liar!! Oh! Fred!!!” He lowers his hand. You eye him suspiciously. He sighs. You nod at his hands, as if telling him to put them away. He sighs again and sits on them. You regain your composure cautiously, but as soon as you look away he’s tickling your relentlessly, his hands at your ribcage. You howl with laughter, kicking and rolling away from him, but it’s no use. He pins you under his body on the couch and shoves one hand in your armpit. You’re nearly crying with laughter now.

“Mercy! Uncle! Ah!” you cry, and he pauses. His hips are situated between your thighs, which you’ve been trying to use to push him away, and his face is close to yours. 

“You want me to stop?” he asks teasingly, ghosting a hand over your ribcage, causing you to burst with laughter again. 

“Please! Fred!” He looks around, as if to an imaginary audience.

“What can I say, I know how to make a girl beg,” he says smugly. You swat him, bringing on another round of tickles, this time one hand at the nape of your neck and the other on your waist. You feel a bulge in Fred’s pants that makes you feel warm inside. The excitement of your scuffle has made you feel a bit happy go lucky. In another pause, you look up at Fred invitingly, even tilting your body into his just slightly. It’s not something you think about- you just do it.

He takes your invitation and suddenly his lips are on yours and it’s not a joke anymore, it’s just a really great kiss, rough and wet and full. His hips press into yours and you can feel his cock hardening. You keep going for a long time, too long, before you pull away. 

“Fred,” you say, panting with shock and excitement.

“Y/n,” he says, the same emotions playing across his face.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?” he says, running a hand over your thigh.

“George…”

“No love, I’m Fred, good guess though!” he kisses your neck softly and you push him away.

“Freddie! I’m serious, I don’t want to.” He looks at you, confused and resigned, and pulls away. You stand up and straighten your clothes.

“Well, I’ll be off then. Say, be a doll and don’t mention this to anyone?” You say in a droll transatlantic accent. You groan internally. Why are you being so weird right now? You slip into your shoes and shut the door behind you, your heart pounding.

You’ve never been much on dating. 18, still a virgin, only kissed one boy, your date to the Yule Ball. Most men view you as a friend, nothing more. You’re a bit funny looking, and you’ve never gotten anything on looks alone; it’s your personality that wins you friends. That’s how you became friends with Fred and George- you were a class clown, just like them, and the three of you have always been well liked for it. Fred and George, though, were tall and handsome, and unlike you, had a lot of luck where romance was concerned. Their girlfriends were always jealous of you, but you thought nothing of it, since you were practically one of the boys. You see now that they were right. How odd.

You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t hear George coming up the stairwell as you’re descending, and nearly bump into him on the landing. 

“Oopsie!” you squeal. Oof, you think. I sound like a babbling idiot. “Oopsie poopsie!” you add, thinking that if you make it clear that it’s a little joke it’ll be less of a weird thing to say. George completely ignores your muttering and advances toward you, backing you into the corner.

“Y/n,” he says softly.

“George.”

“You’re blushing.”

“You’re standing on my foot.” He jumps back and looks down. He is not standing on your foot. “Gotcha!” you say, flicking him on the nose.

“You smell like cologne,” he says, inhaling.

“So do you.” He laughs softly and you scoot backwards, hoping to resist a second romantic encounter. He looks very handsome in the dim lighting of the stairwell, his eyes glimmering. You’re so close now that you’re nearly touching. You draw a deep breath, and before you can speak his lips are on yours. He’s softer and slower than Fred, but his kiss is deep and erotic. His hands move to the small of your back and caress you gently. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up as his lips move from your lips to your chin to your neck to your breast. You sigh with delight, but you hear the door at the top of the stairs open and push him away. You look up to see Fred, his face dark and crestfallen. You could crack the tension in the air with a spoon. You wrack your brain for a way to diffuse the tension, landing on jazz hands and a wry smile.

The boys frown, ignoring you, seemingly beginning to realize the situation. They look at each other in silence for a moment. “Tough crowd,” you mutter. 

“Oh, I see,” Fred says stormily. “Fine, you’re all his then.”

“What?” George asks, confused.

“You see the way I look at her. You had to know how I feel.”

“How could I know if you didn’t tell me? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I thought if I told you, you might tell her! With your little late night conversations and all,” Fred says accusingly.

“How can you be jealous of me talking to our friend when you’re practically feeling her up at every opportunity?”

“It was never like that!” you protest.

“Not until today,” Fred counters. “Or did you forget about that when you ran into my brother?”

“Wait a second, did you two…?” George glances between the two of you suspiciously. 

“No!” you and Fred say in unison.

“We just kissed,” Fred says sheepishly. “Don’t worry though, I only beat you to her by a few seconds! You know what, come on up to the flat, we can take turns if that’s how it’s going to be!” He’s drunk with anger, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Oh my god! I just realized something!” you exclaim loudly, silencing both of them. You pause and drink in the quiet. “You two blokes look just alike!” you say in a thick cockney accent. George shrugs at you tiredly as if to say what the fuck. Fred spits as he turns to retreat to the flat.

“Go home, Y/n,” he says, shutting the door loudly. George just sighs as he stalks back downstairs, and you hear the bell ring as he exits through the front door of the shop. You slump to the ground, embarrassed and somehow feeling guilty in spite of the fact that you aren’t sure what you could have done to fix things between the three of you.

“I wonder if they’re related,” you mumble innocently, looking around at your audience of none. Why is it, you wonder, that you’re always funniest when nobody is around to hear it?

[realcube]

LEAVING MIDORIYA

part one (nsfw) | part two 

tw// mentions of toxic relationships, drinking & mention of a bombing

honestly, if you were given enough time you probably could’ve figured it out on your own — without the assistance of a psychiatrist — but exactly one appointment later, you were left with the disheartening realisation that you weren’t having ‘bad dreams’ and the marks on your body weren’t inflicted by yourself during slumber. eventually, the fact set in that it was your sweet, gentle fiancée who was the cause of all these things. 

this whole time, you were under the impression that you were the problem, that there was a malicious part of you that wanted to paint deku out to be some sort of villain; and now you were finally made aware that a villain is exactly what he is. 

it was a hard conclusion to come to but the initial wave of relief you felt was enough to make you act on it quickly, as the more you waited around and let the fact sink in, the more you doubted whether or not to take action. but reasoning isn’t what you need right now, you just need to get away from him. 

where will you go? you had no idea, but any where away from him is good enough. 

midoriya didn’t even get enough time to try fill your head with even more lies. you came marching into the apartment with the intention of ignoring everything he says and simply pack your stuff so you can leave. no matter how much he screamed, begged or yelled, it was like trying to hold a conversation with a brick wall hence he eventually gave in, leaving you to collect your things in peace as there was clearly no way he was going to get through to you. 

you left without another word — not even a goodbye — and you were sure to sneak your engagement ring out with you. although it made you sick to look at, realistically you might need the cash since as soon as you stepped outside your shared apartment with your shit in bags, you were officially homeless. 

no need to worry though, you had arranged to stay the night at a friend’s house until tomorrow morning, then you could catch the train to your parent’s. from there, you’d stay with them until you manage to find a new apartment within your price range. 

one problem; your friend just texted you saying that they have to retract their offer because their landlord doesn’t allow over two people to sleep in the same dorm, and they already have a roommate. very unfortunate but hey, what can you do? plus, they apologised and offered to pay for your hotel but you reassured them that their money wouldn’t be necessary. 

now sitting outside your old apartment complex, scrolling through your phone looking for the nearest hotel. since both you and deku were well-paid pro-heroes and bought a penthouse in a rather affluent area, it was no surprise that most of the hotels that were reasonably close were from 4-5 stars.

although a 5-star hotel room for one night really wasn’t necessary, the post-breakup adrenaline was telling you otherwise. it also told you that treating yourself to a shopping spree, getting wine drunk at a bar and then shuffling back to the hotel with mcdonald’s take-out was a great idea! 

those emotional discussions you had with complete strangers must’ve really gotten to you because when you opened your front camera to take some pictures, you immediately grimaced at the sight of your mascara staining your cheeks. you were lazing around in the hotel lobby surrounded by name brand gift bags — waiting for your room key — looking like that? how embarrassing. 

quickly wiping away your tears, you put on a pair of designer sunglasses you brought earlier to shield your smudged eye-makeup from the world. not that you cared what anyone in this damn lobby thought of you anyway, you were only going to be here for one night, after that you would never see most of these people again. or at least, that is what you thought.

out of the corner of your eye, you saw flashing lights which prompted you to take out your earbuds but once you did, you instantly regretted it as all you heard was screaming and yelling from the entrance. looking up, you noticed an average-looking guy wearing a skull tank top resembling the fashion sense of a middle schooler, being followed by a mob of screaming fans, paparazzi and gossip channel reporters. 

“dynamight! thank you for everything!”

“you deserve to be number one!” 

“we are here at scene, pro-hero dynamight has just been seen entering what appears to be his five star accommodation, wearing his signature blac--”

the loud noises were suddenly muffled as the doorman shut the entrance behind him, leaving things just as they were, except now there was a muscular blond man encircled by bodyguards staring daggers at you.

in any other situation, you would’ve just tried your best to ignore him but some of that liquid courage was beginning to get to you, so your reaction was to snarl right back at him, yelling across the hall, “take a picture, why don’t ya? it’ll last longer.”

only upon processing your reply did the man finally snap out of his trance and storm up to, being hastily followed by his guards who looked as though they were ready to throw down at any given moment, so of course you cowered back in your seat, apologies waiting on the tip of your tongue, ready to spill until his face was hovering centimetres away from yours. 

your throat ran dry at his unexpected action, your eyes scanning over his chiselled features through the tint of your glasses. in a turn of events, you were now the one speechlessly staring at him. then, a deep chuckle erupted from his throat, causing the shock to show on your expression. 

“i knew i recognised you! you’re stupid deku’s girlfriend- fiancée or whatever; i saw the invite for your wedding in my mail and i just got a look at your face before i threw it away. small world.” the blond continued to laugh, talking to you as if you were an old friend of his despite the fact you’ve never seen him before in your life, “anyway, you like a hot fuckin’ mess. where’s deku?” 

why was he talking to you so casually? and how dare he say that!

“first of all,” you started, peering over your glasses to gaze at his face without the rose tint but to no avail, you still had no idea who this man is. using the soles of your palm, you pushed him away by the shoulders as he was a bit too close for comfort, but that resulted in all his guard looking at you with murderous glints in their eyes. “deku and i broke up--”

“when?” he cut you off

“let me finish.” you glared at him, fixing your sunglasses, “we broke up this morning. secondly, who the fuck are you?”

the man looked like he was ready to burst out laughing once again until he had a visible realisation, “eh, well, we’ve never met before but i’m sure deku has told you about me. if not, you’ve probably seen me in the news; i saved around a thousa--”

“no, i’ve not watched the news for, like, the past six months.” this time, you cut him off with a mischievous smirk which you tried your best to conceal.

“bitch! let me fuckin’ finish!” he barked, then had a sudden change in demeanour as he let out a sigh, momentarily silent as he scanned the surrounding area, “i’m bakugo. kastuki.”

your reply of a blank stare spoke a thousand words.

“y’know, dynamight.”

who?

“the number two hero!”

nothing.

“the one who saved that whole airline from blowing up just a week ago! c’mon, it was all over the fuckin’ news!”

“you look like a hotter version of my old maths teacher. oh, and i’m (y/n) (l/n).” was the only verbal response he was able to get out of you, even after all his explaining.

“why do you i feel like you are sayin’ that just to piss me off?” he muttered to himself through gritted teeth, followed by a sharp inhale which you assumed was an attempt to calm himself down. his carnelian eyes darted around the room, halting once he raised his arm to view his watch. his brows knitted together as he read the time, forming a concentrated look which was short-lived as his face was quick to relax, emphasised by a slight shrug as if to say ‘i’ve got time’, before slumping down on the couch next to you. 

“so why did you and shitty deku break up?”

“i may be a bit tipsy but i’m not just gonna tell that sorta stuff to a complete stranger.” each syllable felt like it had to be forced out one at a time, but you’d rather that than slur you speech as bakugo seemed like the type to poke fun at you for it. 

“i just wanna know how badly he fucked up this time.” bakugo smirked, propping his elbow up on the back of the couch to turn and look at you, “eh, i don’t think we’ll be strangers for long.” 

there was a certain purr in this voice which sent blood rushing to your cheeks as you never expect someone like him to come on so strong. not that you were complaining, i mean, being in his presence during a time like this felt like a gift from god but you weren’t going to let him know that. it’d only add to his already massive ego so you decided to ignore his suggestive behaviour, opting to show disinterest instead, “hm, you think?”

it was almost comical how fast bakugo’s cocky smirk fell into a frown. honestly, he wasn’t used to people that he flirts with rejecting him, considering that he rarely ever makes moves on anyone. so, now what did he do? due to the foreign nature of this situation, bakugo felt as though he was left with no choice but to bargain, since he’s far from a quitter, “oi, what that supposed to mean?”

you shrug.

bakugo clicked his tongue along with a roll of his eyes before he said, “how ‘bout this; i pay for your room tonight and in exchange we can get to know each other tomorrow.”

“i can pay for my own room though.” 

bakugo deadpanned, he honestly thought he had won but apparently not. perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to hit on someone who had just gotten out of a relationship but whatever. “you’re impossible.” he spat, getting up from the couch and marching away, presumably to his room.

he tried to brush off the encounter like it never happened, reassuring himself that he didn’t have to think much of it as he could get with anyone else. plus, you’d probably come crawling back to him, begging to fuck once you get over deku anyway. 

and he was half right.

eventually, you came to the realisation that both you and bakugo have one thing in common — a hatred for deku. and as it turns out, hatred provides a good groundwork for friendship. 

[bloody-bee-tea]

It’s just a sitting down in the shower day

Me processing my feelings by putting them into fic instead of writing what I really should? More likely than you think though I don't have a Nie Mingjue to cuddle me through it

Title from Shower Day by The Amazing Devil

When Jiang Cheng wakes up he thinks that this is another pretty meh day, but he knows better the moment he picks up his phone.

There are three unread messages waiting for him and Jiang Cheng already feels like he’s crumbling under the expectation of answering them.

So his mood finally tipped over into pretty fucking bad, he thinks and then puts the phone away before it can show him another thing he should react to, face down so that he doesn’t have to see the notifications glare up at him and feel even worse about not being able to answer anything.

At least today. He hopes tomorrow will be better.

When that is done, Jiang Cheng turns around for good measure too, puts his back towards the room and whatever is waiting for him outside of bed, pulls his blanket up under his chin and then he just lays there, staring into nothing, before he closes his eyes and pretends to simply not exist for the day.

It doesn’t work all too well because his mind keeps reminding him that there are people waiting for an answer from him probably, but Jiang Cheng feels like crying when he just thinks about reading the messages and so that makes his mood plummet even more.

Awesome.

Jiang Cheng pulls his blanket up over his head because maybe it doesn’t just keep the monsters at bay but also bad thoughts—one can hope, right—but his mind won’t shut up.

There is one thing that would make Jiang Cheng feel better, but for that he’d have to pick up his phone and actually go to his messages and then ask for help and he’s not about to do that.

Not normally and especially not today, when he could burst into tears at even having to explain what is wrong with him, and so he simply continues to exist in a small space in his bed, curled up and sad.

He thinks he dozed off at one point, because the next thing he knows is that Wei Wuxian is sitting down on his bed and Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to see him, doesn’t even want to speak to him, but so he also can’t tell him to go fuck off.

So he simply continues to lay there.

“Jiang Cheng, it’s past noon on a Saturday and you’re still in bed?” Wei Wuxian asks, his usual cheer lacking from his voice and now Jiang Cheng feels bad about worrying him.

“Yeah,” he croaks out, his voice probably pretty muffled through the blanket, but he can’t find it in him to even raise his hands to pull it down or anything, so Wei Wuxian will just have to deal with it.

Or not, Jiang Cheng bitterly thinks as Wei Wuxian peels the corner of the blanket away. Thankfully he stops when he uncovers Jiang Cheng’s face, though, so Jiang Cheng will let it pass. At least this once.

“Don’t you have stuff to do? You always have stuff to do on Saturdays,” Wei Wuxian says and Jiang Cheng can hear the frown in his voice, he doesn’t even have to look at him for that.

And it’s true, too. Jiang Cheng usually has stuff to do on Saturdays, or on every other day, and the work will not get itself done. But Jiang Cheng is pretty sure that if he gets up to work on it today, he’ll either break down, scream until he’s hoarse or delete and destroy every last thing he has already done and he does not actually want to do that.

So laying in bed it is.

“Are you still tired?” Wei Wuxian asks next and he leans over Jiang Cheng to get a glimpse at his face. “Is this a symptom of the virus? Did you get the virus?” Wei Wuxian goes on, getting more and more frantic with every question and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“We both know that between us, it’s your immune system that is shit. So if I had the virus then you would most definitely have it too and I don’t see you being sick,” Jiang Cheng says and then he feels like he ran a marathon because speaking is actually pretty damn exhausting.

“Rude,” Wei Wuxian huffs out, but he sounds calmer already and a calm Wei Wuxian means that Jiang Cheng will get to wallow in peace much more easily and sooner at that.

“Why won’t you come out?” Wei Wuxian wants to know and Jiang Cheng heaves out another sigh.

“Leave me alone,” he says, his voice listless and low and he can practically feel the worry radiating off Wei Wuxian at that.

“You’re not yelling at me,” Wei Wuxian whispers. “You’re not even cursing at me. Are you dying?”

“No,” Jiang Cheng gives back, but he also turns his face further into the pillow. “Go away.”

“I guess I will,” Wei Wuxian hesitantly says and Jiang Cheng feels him getting up from the bed. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?”

“I need you to go away,” Jiang Cheng tells him, though a tiny part of himself panics at the thought that Wei Wuxian might really go away, and not come back, but even that is not enough to get Jiang Cheng to explain more or even turn around.

If Wei Wuxian really does want to leave and not come back like ever, then Jiang Cheng guesses it was inevitable and it’s not like his mood can get any worse anyway.

“Alright,” Wei Wuxian whispers but he hesitates in the doorway. “I’m here if you need anything, though,” he then adds and Jiang Cheng does have to admit that he relaxes slightly at hearing that, even though it doesn’t improve anything major about his mood.

At least his mind can shut up about Wei Wuxian leaving him now. One thing less to worry about.

Once Jiang Cheng is sure that Wei Wuxian left the room, he pulls the blanket up over his head again, because like this it’s warm and dark and it’s about the only state that Jiang Cheng can endure at the moment and then he continues to simply not do anything besides existing for the next however long it is.

At one point Jiang Cheng’s stomach grumbles, but it stops after one sound and it’s not enough incentive for Jiang Cheng to actually get up and do anything about it, so he doesn’t pay any more attention to it.

He maybe dozes off again, because he wakes up to the door opening again, and usually he would snap at Wei Wuxian for coming back when he’s so clearly not wanted right now, but Jiang Cheng can’t muster the energy to do that.

He’ll just deal with whatever annoying shit Wei Wuxian wants now and then he’ll go back to his wallowing.

It’s sounds like a pretty decent plan, if Jiang Cheng is being honest, especially since he knows that he can out-stubborn Wei Wuxian on any day, but he was not at all prepared for someone to slide into bed with him.

Jiang Cheng tenses for a second, before he’s being pulled against a very familiar chest and then he simply goes boneless.

Though he does muster up enough energy to turn around so that he can hide his face in Nie Mingjue’s chest, because obviously no place is better than that, even on bad days.

“Wei Wuxian said you’re not doing so well today,” Nie Mingjue mutters and presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head. “So I thought I’d come over.”

Jiang Cheng has to swallow against the emotion lodged in his throat before he can actually speak, but there is nothing at all he can do against the burning of his eyes.

“I don’t want to do anything,” Jiang Cheng says, because he figures it’s better to manage Nie Mingjue’s expectations immediately instead of making him think that Jiang Cheng will get a grip in a few minutes and they can do something.

“Okay,” Nie Mingjue easily agrees and then wriggles around a bit.

Jiang Cheng slightly starts to panic when he thinks that Nie Mingjue is going to leave again, but apparently Nie Mingjue is just getting more comfortable, because he lets out a sigh and then goes boneless.

“You don’t have to stay,” Jiang Cheng mutters, hating that he’s robbing Nie Mingjue of his Saturday now, too, but Nie Mingjue only hums.

“Dozing the day away sounds actually pretty good,” he mumbles into Jiang Cheng’s hair. “The guy above me was throwing a party. At least until the police came and crashed it, because you know, throwing parties is kind of illegal in this day and age, and it turned out he was actually alone up there. I don’t even know how he managed to achieve that kind of noise on his own, but I certainly didn’t get much sleep,” Nie Mingjue explains and then pulls Jiang Cheng even closer to himself.

It’s a good explanation; at least like this Jiang Cheng doesn’t feel too guilty about ruining someone else’s day, and that makes it a lot easier.

But he still feels the need to reiterate that there will be nothing at all happening with him today except this.

“I don’t think I want to do anything later, either,” Jiang Cheng tries to explain, because he never knows how to put these bad days into words, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem to care.

“Hush, I’m trying to doze and cuddle my boyfriend,” he sleepily mumbles and it’s actually enough to make Jiang Cheng’s lips twitch, though with the new burning of his eyes that could have multiple reasons.

“Fine,” he says and then they both fall silent.

Jiang Cheng is pretty sure that Nie Mingjue falls asleep mere minutes later, because his breath is deep and even and it’s doing a lot for Jiang Cheng as well.

He guesses he will have to thank Wei Wuxian for this, but that will have to wait for tomorrow.

Today he’s going to stay in bed, and feel bad and have his boyfriend be understanding of his moods. That’s got to be enough for one day.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar

[apocalypseornaw]

Never Doubt Us

For @girl-next-door-writes make me feel bingo square "fairytale AU"

Sometimes the man isn't the knight in shining armor

How had you allowed your life to come to the point it had? With your commoner bloodline you never should have even known the Princes beyond their names. Thanks to the fact that your parents had been killed and left you in the care of their closest friend Sir Robert you’d been raised in the castle.

As children you’d played with Dean’s younger brother Sam. Dean didn’t play as much. He was stoic even at a young age especially when King John was around. It confused you as to why he would care if his son was to be allowed the simple privilege of being a child before he would have a kingdom placed on his shoulders but when you’d questioned it you’d been told to stay in a child’s place. Your friendship with both boys grew throughout your younger years.

As all of you grew and the Princes started to learn their own responsibilities you started to train with the other knights' sons despite being the other female in the bunch. Your prowess with a sword matched or outshone them by far, even gaining the attention of King John when he’d observe the training. You had no admiration for the king like the boys you trained with, you’d seen how cold he was towards his sons and knew that a measure of a king was how he was as a simple man as well. 

When he one day approached during training to question if you really thought a woman would be welcomed onto the royal guard you’d squared your shoulders and met his questioning gaze head on “King John would you rather someone on your guard who can deflect an arrow with her sword or would you prefer getting shot because you had a man at your side?” He’d laughed and had offered you a spot on Dean’s guard. You’d told him respectfully that you would only accept the offer if Dean was in agreement as well. You’d known he would you were friends with him as well as Sam even if you could never admit that to the king.

------

When you’d first been appointed on Dean’s guard there was of course some fallout. Men doubted a woman naturally. The first time King John had ordered Dean to go to a neighboring kingdom as an ambassador in an attempt to gain an ally he’d suggested leaving you behind. Dean had told him he would do no such thing.

On that trip you’d saved the princess of the neighboring kingdom from an assasitantion attempt, getting wounded in the process. It was also the first time you’d realized your feelings for your prince went so much deeper than friendship or even that of being his guard. Your only thought had been his safety even when the healers were patching your skin you’d asked of him. The moment the question fell from your lips it was as if those words summoned him. 

The doors leading into the room you were in burst open and Dean walked through followed by your fellow guardsmen Benjamin and Steven. When he saw you sitting up the anger in his bright green eyes quickly faded to concern “Are you well?” he asked and the healers quickly went over your injury then excused themselves Benjamin and Steven following suit.

You stood to dress considering you’d been forced to strip down to your underthings for your injuries to be treated. “The sword didn’t go very deep thankfully” you replied turning your back to him so you could slip your shirt over your head but when you flinched trying to get it on his hands had come to cover yours “We swam together as children. You’ve stood guard outside my baths I think it wouldn’t be indecent for me to help you dress” 

You turned to face him holding the shirt out. He took it but not before he let his fingertips trace the bandages on your side. “You secured the allyship single handedly” You forced a smile trying to look anywhere besides directly into his eyes. They were a shade of green that outshined any gem you’d even seen “At least my death would have held meaning had I met that fate” his hand moved from your side to cup your face forcing you to look him in the eye as he spoke “You being alive holds more meaning than any allyship ever would” you swallowed hard trying to push the feelings you’d developed for him down.

“Thank you” you whispered and he nodded then slowly moved his hand from your face “Let’s get you dressed then you’re off guard duty for the journey home” “Dean..” you started but he silenced you with a look “Are you arguing with your Prince?” the slight smirk that graced his face pulled a smile onto yours “Of course not” he nodded then gently slipped the shirt over your head tying it where it needed to be. 

The night after you were cleared by the healers to go back on full guard duty you were preparing to go to bed when a knock at your chamber door drew your attention. 

You crossed over to it and were surprised when Dean was standing on the other side. "Dean..I know you can out fight most of the royal guard but for my peace of mind I'd prefer you not wander the grounds alone especially after one of your guards thwarted an assassination attempt so recently" he smiled gently and looked almost sheepish which was by far not his usual demeanour "then would it be appropriate to ask that guard to accompany me for a walk under the moonlight?" 

You quickly schooled your features so your surprise wouldn't be as apparent "Of course. Let me pull my boots back on and we'll go" he stood just inside your chambers watching as you retrieved your boots and jacket. When you slid your arms into the sleeves of the coat he smiled "I see you are healing well"  you laughed "Ask Benjamin. I flipped him onto his back multiple times while we were sparring today" a flash of some emotion went through his eyes but it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

He motioned to the door so you walked out first and waited until he closed the door behind himself to ask "Is there a reason for this walk or did you simply crave some fresh air?"  He shrugged one shoulder "I think I craved the company more than anything" you tried to push down the flush of heat spreading through your face at his words.

You walked in silence next to him until the two of you were far out side the castle listening to the sound of a lone whippoorwill cutting through the night. 

"You seem to favor training with Benjamin" Dean spoke finally breaking the silence as the two of you neared the pond at the edge of the property. It was here Robert had taught the two of you and Sam how to swim. 

You walked over to sit at the base of the large tree that overlooked the water and Dean joined you his shoulder brushing against yours. Normally you would squabble over anyone being that close to you but this proximity with Dean was familiar enough to make your heart ache when you were reminded it would always simply be friendship. After a moment of thinking you replied "I suppose I do yes. I prefer being on duty with him as well. He's easy to talk to and was one of the first on the guard to welcome me instead of questioning me due to my being a woman" 

"He seems to favor you as well" you turned to look at Dean in the dim light of the moon and was shocked when you saw the twinge of jealousy his eyes held "Dean what are you saying?" "Do you have feelings for him?" 

You laughed more self deprecatingly than anything before responding "He's my friend and I trust him at my side in a fight but beyond friendship no I have no romantic feelings for him" Dean turned to look at you and you almost looked away due to the fact that this close a mere movement would have your lips touching "When you were hurt. I had no concern for the assassin or the princess. I wanted to be at your side. Steven and Benjamin both had to stop me and I still very nearly laid down pretenses of being a prince to get to you" you swallowed the emotions threatening to spill out so that you could ask "What do you mean?" 

You had a feeling but needed to hear the words for yourself, to know the way you felt about Dean was reciprocated. "I've fallen in love with you. Is there a chance you could feel the same" you were unaware you were crying until Dean gently wiped the tears from your cheeks as you spoke "I've loved you for years but you're destined to be king.." Your words were cut short by his lips finding yours. You gave into the kiss immediately melting against him. His hands moved to your waist pulling you into his lap as the two of you attempted to put every emotion you were feeling and had hidden into that one kiss.

When you finally broke away he rested his forehead against your neck "I have years before I have to become king. We can change things before then. If you want me, if you want this I would move the heavens for you" you laughed and gently touched his face pulling back so he'd be forced to look you in your eyes "I do not need the heavens and while I don't want to think about the future I do know that I've never felt as complete as I do right now" 

That first night you spent in Dean’s arms as he told you and showed you the love he had for you felt like heaven itself or the closest you’d ever get. Months passed and you were so close to being happy but then King John had taken ill. 

You’d known the day of King John's funeral that no matter how you felt about Dean that you couldn’t continue being with him. You stood at attention with Benjamin and Steven watching Dean welcome other royalty and noblemen and women. He was born for this, to be an extraordinary leader. You were born to be anything but. Had your parents survived you would've been married off in your teen years to whatever man asked your father first. 

Dean would need to take a wife, a queen to rule by his side and you could never fill that. You’d break your own heart before you’d risk him being hurt by loving you in any way.

------

That night Dean had come to your chamber. You knew he expected to be welcomed with open arms. You wanted nothing more than to spend the night wrapped up in him but knew it was up to you. He'd never accept you pulling away all at once but if you started slowly pulling away perhaps he'd lose some of the love he held for you then when the princesses from neighboring kingdoms started to come he'd give one of them an actual chance then your kingdom would have a ruler better than it had seen in years with him as king.

You answered the door in your dressing gown and saw the way his eyes ran across your body. It wasn't merely sexual. He looked relieved to see you and his eyes held so much love in them you nearly started crying from the task at hand. "I'm sorry Dean I just don't think it's proper for you to not be in your own chambers at this time. We have guests here in the castle and what if one of them comes looking for you?"

“Then come with me, please? It’s been a long day and I’d much rather fall asleep with you in my arms” “I am too tired to dress Dean and there’s too many prying eyes for you to be escorted to your chambers by one of your guards in a mere dressing gown”  “I am not concerned what they see, I love you and I want to be with you tonight” you closed your eyes and took a deep breath feeling your resolve waver but knowing it was for the best.

“I promise to join you tomorrow night my love” at your words a small smile slipped onto his face “I love you” you could feel yourself threatening to break even as you said in nearly a whisper “I love you” then watched him turn and walk away before shutting the door. You slid down it and it wasn’t until your legs hit the cool hard floor that reality hit you.

The man you’d grown up alongside, one of your best friends, the man you were in love with and wanted a future with was no longer yours to have. You allowed yourself a few moments to fall apart before pushing yourself to your feet. You needed rest and to plan how to get through the following weeks with your mental state intact.

You could feel eyes on you even as you spun out of Benjamin’s reach. Even when you sidestepped to dodge his next blow you knew he was watching. Dean had a way of making your body feel like it was on fire with just a look. You glanced up and spotted him standing with Sam, Robert and Queen Adelia who was no doubt visiting in an attempt to secure Dean choosing her daughter Princess Lysa.

You felt your feet go out from under you as Benjamin swept your legs out and when your back hit the dirt you flipped to catch him bringing him down as well. When you and Benjamin helped each other to your feet you realized Robert and Adelia were walking over with Dean and Sam trailing not too far behind. 

Robert introduced you and Benjamin by your name and rank you both held. You didn’t miss the look in Adelia’s eyes when she realized you held the same rank as the man standing next to you. “I heard about your woman guard, seems she made quite the impression amongst our allies” you smiled “Saving Princess Joanna from an assasination attempt did help” you saw a slight smirk grace both Dean and Sam’s faces as Adelia tried to rephrase her wording

“Oh dear that’s what I meant of course. Though why a girl as pretty as you would choose such a trade is beyond me” you brushed your legs off then shrugged one shoulder “It’s noble work. I’m protecting people I care about and my kingdom. Is that not much different than your position as a queen?”

“I suppose not dear” she smiled then winked at Benjamin “Who knows perhaps one of your fellow guardsmen will decide they want to make an honest woman of you” you had to remind yourself of your standing so instead of saying what you wanted you simply replied “I am quite honest enough all on my own. Now if you’ll excuse me Benjamin and I are due to the archery range to continue our training for the day”

You walked past Dean and saw the way his eyes tracked your movement. It had been a few weeks since King John’s passing and the pressure was getting more intense daily on him to choose a wife. You’d kept your word and had gone to him the night after John’s funeral but since then had nearly exhausted your list of reasons as to why you had gone from sharing a bed nightly with him to perhaps once a week if that.

You knew he was getting suspicious as to why and that it would eventually lead to him questioning you. You only hoped he had chosen a suitable wife by then.

------

Another week passed and you were walking with Benjamin and Steven across the grounds when you heard a noise that made your heart fall to your feet. It was Dean laughing.

Normally that would bring you joy but when you looked towards the sound to see him walking with Sam and Princess Lysa you felt sick. You knew she’d arrived the day before but this was your first time seeing her. She was beautiful. Her dress was made of the finest material,her dark hair styled perfectly. You watched the way she looked at Dean and had to suppress your anger. He belonged with someone like her, not you.

Unfortunately while Steven was oblivious to your actions Benjamin leaned closer and whispered “She’s not the type of queen he needs” you raised an eyebrow in question as to what he meant. 

He waved a hand around himself ignoring the fact that Steven had continued walking while the two of you were stopped “This kingdom needs a queen that matches Dean. Someone who will fight for the people, someone who is capable and has strength and warmth. Someone who can spill blood but comfort within moments of the other"

“And who might you have in mind because I’ve yet to meet a noblewoman like that” you questioned and he shook his head and continued walking leaving you to ponder if you were that obvious or if Benjamin was just that attuned to you and Dean.

------

You were headed to your chambers after a tiring day. You’d hear from too many of the castle staff that Lysa was extending her stay. There would be only one reason for that, a betrothal. You wanted to cry, scream or fight someone but this was what you’d wanted wasn’t it?

You were stuck inside your own head; you did not hear Benjamin calling your name until he touched your shoulder. You flinched despite yourself and he smiled warmly “Dean asked if you could come to his chambers, something of the journey to the northern isles?” That journey was still months away but instead of questioning it further you simply nodded “Yes I’ll stop by him”

Benjamin walked away so you took a shortcut that would get you across the castle without going by the guest area where Lysa would be staying. You doubted your ability to hold your tongue this late.

When you finally made it to Dean’s chambers you hesitated before knocking. The moment your knuckles hit the hard wood he opened the door and his smile made your heart skip. “If only I knew all it took was getting Benjamin to ask you here I would’ve done that two weeks ago” he stepped back to let you in so you took a few steps forward not going all the way into the room purposely giving a wide berth to the four poster bed that took up over half the room. You’d spent countless nights in it and now would be the last time your eyes graced it.

He stepped closer and despite knowing you shouldn’t you allowed him to pull you into his arms. You’d give yourself the memory of being held by him this last time. “I have to announce who I am choosing as queen within the week” you felt tears sting your eyes threatening to spill but you swallowed them down.

“Just know I hold no hard feelings Dean and I will cherish the time we had together” he pulled back from you and his face fell the moment he looked you in the eyes “What?” You smiled sadly “Dean we both know you have to choose a princess” “Says who?” “Tradition” your voice cracked on the word but you knew it was true, felt it to your core.

“I do not care about tradition, I care about you” he spoke, pulling you back into his arms. His mouth was warm on your neck when he spoke your name just above a whisper. His rough hands smoothing across your back sliding under the shirt you wore begging for access to more skin. “Please we will figure this out. I refuse to marry another when I know where my heart belongs” you closed your eyes to stow the flow of tears.

You owed it to him and to your kingdom to be strong. You loved him beyond anything that was why you had to stop this now he deserved a noblewoman, someone who came from a pure bloodline. Not someone like you who’d grown from a child being more familiar with a sword or a bow than a dress. “I will always love and I will protect you with my final breath but I’m not suited to be a queen. I’d never be accepted” you pulled away from him despite everything in you screaming to fall into his arms, into his bed.

You turned and quickly crossed the floor not looking back even as he called your name. As soon as you shut the heavy door to his chambers behind you that was when the tears started.

You stood at attention with the rest of the royal guard. You had not spoken a single word to anyone since the night in Dean’s chambers. You felt as if you had no words left within you. Today Dean would be announcing who he’d chosen as a wife. Princess Lysa was still staying in the castle so it appeared his decision was made.

When the bell sounded to gather all in attendance’s attention you looked up to see Robert standing at the raised part of the room which held the thrones during ceremonies. He met your eyes and his held nothing but sorrow. He knew your true heart and knew it was breaking but he also knew your strength. You would stand stoic while the man you loved announced his betrothal to another because it needed to happen. 

You watched as Dean and Sam joined Robert. Dean held your eyes for several moments before saying “I am expected to choose a wife, a queen for this kingdom. I am of two minds. One is the way my father raised me. He told me to put my duties first. My father would have chosen Princess Lysa for my bride” you swallowed hard when she stepped onto the platform next to him.

Benjamin looked towards you and you knew that was his silent way of asking if you would be alright. You gave a tight nod refusing to break even as Lysa moved to kiss Dean. He stepped away from her after whispering something that made her shoot a deadly glare your direction. 

He cleared his throat to settle the room when everyone started to speculate as to what was going on. “My father would have chosen Lysa for my bride but his father Henry my grandfather would have told me to listen to my heart. Sir Robert who’s watched me and my brother grow from small boys has always advised me that a strong king is a strong man. A strong man needs a strong woman in his life. I have long since given my heart to another and I do not intend to ever ask for it to be returned” he looked over at you and held his hand out. You took a deep breath but felt Benjamin's hand on your shoulder giving a gentle push.

Sam stepped off the platform to meet you halfway and held his arm out. You slipped your arm through it and allowed him to escort you despite the near deafening whispers being tossed about. Once you made it to the platform he gently put your hand into Dean’s who pulled you up next to him.

You watched Lysa storm off before turning your attention to Dean. He looked around the room then back at you “Tradition says I pick a noblewoman or princess. Before you, tradition says only men served the royal guard yet Princess Joanna is alive because of you. You came to live here at the castle when Sam and I were mere children, I’ve seen you stand your ground with my father. I’ve seen you go against enemies and do anything to protect those lucky enough to be loved by you. Over the years we formed a friendship and from there something so much more. I’m here today to ask will you do me the honor of being my queen?”

The entire room faded away. In that moment it was only you and him “Are you certain I’m who you want?” you asked and he nodded, taking the ring from Robert who held it out. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life” “Then yes” he slipped the ring onto your finger and pulled you into a kiss. Most of the room voiced their approval at his choice and when he pulled back he whispered “Never doubt us again please” “Never” you whispered then pulled him back for another kiss.

@girl-next-door-writes

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Fav boys with an S/O that's usually a hardass but has a moment of just 'oh my god that's so fucking cute' that they start crying??

Bakugou:

• Listen, you weren't totally against showing emotion but you really only showed two

• Frustration and 'happiness'

• Aka you laughed a lot but had no problem blowing up on someone

• No one had ever seen you outside of those two moods

• Half the class just assumed you never got sad or anything

• The other half assumed you never really had a reason too but maybe one day you'd snap

• Crying? You? Off the table.

• You're not capable of it

• They'd seen you detach yourself from things without a second thought

• CRAZY how you and Bakugou actually WORKED together in a relationship

• To be honest Bakugou doesnt even know if he's seen you cry

• He figures he'll see it eventually

• And he's right :)

• Bc one day you two are walking ahead if the bakusquad

• And theres this fucking puppy

• And it's so small

• Its a lil weiner dog

• And an audible rasp is ripped out of your throat followed by a small 'oh my god'

• His head fuckin WHIPS around• And he's met with you tearing up as you stare at this small dog and his mouth d r o p a

• This??? This is what it takes for you to cry????

• You put a hand over your mouth, mumbling something else and Bakugou is having a stroke

• You're like full crying now

• There are t e a r s

• He moves a little closer, wrapping and arm around your shoulder

• "Are you seriously crying over a dog right now?"

No words. You just nod.

• He accepts it

• No questions asked

• Bakusquad is what you call

• V fuckin confused

• "I want a puppy," you mumbled, breathing uneven.

"I know,"

"Katsu he was so tiny,"

"I know,"

• Cue more crying

Izuku:

• Hard ass 100%

• emotionally constipated on the Bakugou level

• emotion what's that??

• Idk

• Neither do you apparently

• You were just chilling most of the time

• Just- looking really blank

• never really felt comfortable with showing a lot of emotion

• People could use that against you

• call you week-

• You didn't want that

• you were dating the new symbol of peace, you had to keep up

• This happens during a rescue

• You get people out and once you're standing on the sidelines, the fight over- this little boy runs up to you, hugging your legs

• Thank your's are falling out of his mouth and he looks teary eye'd

• He puts his hands up and makes grabby hands and you immediately pick him up

• You kiss his forehead, your hold on the child tightening

• I mean at this point you're crying too

• Bc he was so damn cute

• Even with all the dirt on his face

• And Izuku is just standing there

• baffled

• bc you

• the person who was literally STABBED four times and kept a straight face the whole time about a year ago

• is crying over a child saying thank you

• He takes care of the press- and whatever else he needs to before slowly making his way over to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

• The boy was still in your arms

• "You okay princess?"

"Fine, thanks,"

• New image for the press!!

• You went from known for no emotion to Oh my god they have emotion????

• ur v upset about it

Hitoshi:

• He know you cant express emotions exactly how you want

• you'd told him it always felt weird and uncomfortable

• Especially letting other people see it

• Deadass took him 3 months after the initial four you guys were dating to pry that out of you

• He's never really minded though

• he just wants you to feel comfortable and be okay

• So he's always gone along with the casually mean laugh a lot vibe you've had

• But one day

• one faithful day

• you two are walking after an icecream date

• And you see these 2 little kittens in a beat up box

• you GASP and your hand immediately leaves his as you jog over

• And you coo at them, picking them up, one in each hand

• He's behind you when the water works start

• "Toshi...they're so cute-" you sniff

"Are you crying?"

"No- Yeah, just look at them. They're so tiny, they're gonna die out here alone,"

"Oh my god babe,"

"Toshi we have to take them back."

"I don't know if we can do that, we can take them to a shelter-"

• you're full on sobbing now, a blubbering and hiccuping mess

• he feels like he's gonna pass out

• what's he supposed to do

• you chose now to start crying??

• "No-No because they might end up on the street again and they need love, toshiiiii-" you whine out

• So he hugs you from behind, using one hand to pet the cat in your left hand. "Okay, we'll take them back. We can talk to Aizawa sensei."

• he presses a gentle kiss to your neck

• You def apologize later for crying in front if him, almost refusing to look him in the eye

• He flicks you and tells you to do it more often

Sero:

• hardass?? Yes and no

• You vibe

• you just chill and go with the punches

• but GOD do you refuse affection and basic human emotion.

• It took him 3 MONTHS to convince you to go out with him

• That he wasn't going to hurt you or judge you

• 3 MONTHS

• And what felt like fucking forever for you to accept his advances for affection

• He's so patient with you, you'll never find another man like this

• pls keep him forever

• Anyway now yall just vibe together

• But he's never seen you upset tbh

• And he's never seen you cry

• You push all that down, constantly just staying in a place of whatever

• He's a little concerned about it ngl

• but he doesn't know how to really help it

• Has deadass secretly been reading books about it

• Anyway

• One day y'all are chilling

• You're in his room

• he's at his desk- looking over an essay that was due the next day and you were in his hammock, already having finished it

• But he was bopping

• he had an earbud in one ear and he was mumbling along with the song, bopping his head and moving around in his chair, randomly bursting out a lyric here and there

• And then he heard a sniffle

• He immediately turns around and he see's you

• Your eyes are watery

• he pulls his earbud out and he's making his way over to you, clearly worried

• "Babe what's wrong?"

You shake your head, waving him off.

"No no, c'mon tell me-"

"You're just so damn cute and I love you so much. Precious."

• He's confused for a moment before it processes and he grins

"Is that why you're crying?"

"Yes!" You wipe your eyes again. "Thank you,"

He climbs into the hammock carefully, and wraps his arms around you.

• Not particularly what he had in mind when you finally decided to show emotion like that but he'd take it

Kirishima:

• puppy and cat

• aka

• Bubbly jock and hard ass motherfucker who can and will kill you

• He knows that you cant freely express what you feel all the time

• He understands more than most people think

• Because he knows it's easier to just be bitter than risk getting hurt again

• and you've opened up a lot!!

• and he's proud of you! Really.

• He tells you all the time and you gag and call him a sap but he knows that you secretly enjoy it

• Anyway you two are eating lunch outside

• Kirishima is babbling about something that happened after class the other day and you were eating quietly listening to your boyfriends ramblings

• And suddenly he feels a finger on his lips

• He opens his eyes confused, going to talk again before you sush him

• You're looking at a bird

• a REALLY small bird

• you take a small piece of bread from his sandwhich

• "Hi baby," you coo, "how you doin? Want some food?" You slowly hold the piece out

• The birds head tilts a little and he takes a hop

• then another

• and he watches you tense up

• and the bird takes the bread piece and flies away, he watches it go before looking back at you

• he about has a stroke

• you're fucking crying

• "Babe- wait- why are you crying?" He puts a hand on your shoulder

"What the fuck, that was so cute. Eij, he was so cute."

"Well yeah-"

"Jesus he was so tiny," you sniff, "did you see the way he tilted his head- oh my god and his little hop? No fuck off I'm gonna cry more,"

• And you do

• But honestly he doesn't even care bc you're finally letting something else in

• and it means you're comfortable around him

• so he only wraps his arms around your waist and pull you closer

• "he was very cute,"

[bakugohoex]

For the 1K event! Dabi angst number 3!!!🥴

“you don’t remember me?”

pairing: dabi x gender neutral reader

cw: angst, one mention of the word suicide, language, memories in italics, mentions of blood and minor manga spoilers (dabi’s identity) 

word count: 3000+

a/n: me writing after wanting to cry all night, i know its a shock but yeah my 1k event really needs to finish now because this is getting out of hand

summary: in which after losing your memory in what seemed to have been a week, the capture of shigaraki is the only thing on your mind but when you meet face to face with a distant memory, the reality of the torture the heroes inflicted on you finally comes to light

1k event masterlist

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

The task at hand was simple, corner the league, grab Shigaraki and take him into custody. It was the first thing you heard from Keigo, the first words that were uttered to you as you entered the cell. You didn’t know why you were there in the first place, memories forgotten as all Keigo told you was how you were good. How you were going to join the heroes side and defeat the league, that’s everything he told you. The bandages wrapped around your waist as you saw your wrist wrapped in cloth as well, you unwrapped it softly, the way the brown burnt marks encased your wrists. You dared not touch it, instead waiting to be let out of the cell.

Keigo’s eyes flashed at you, he stared at the screen as he saw you pace about. You had forgotten it all, he was almost glad you had because without you the next actions of the heroes would be flawed. He looked at Endeavor who smirked at the you, he was intrigued wanting to vitalise that power and create chaos amongst the villains.

“She cant control her quirk yet.”

“She will.” Endeavor spoke as Keigo didn’t speak staring at how your hand would occasionally touch at the bandages, you really had no clue what had occurred prior. No clue of the horrors that had been exerted upon you. Keigo left to go and collect you, having already seen how other pro heroes had arrived.

He stepped out from the room, taking a sharp breathe as he walked the long stretch to where your cell was.

“If it isn’t the number two pro hero Hawks, come to rescue me.” Your tone had been filled with malice as you flew around him, yellow wisps around your hands as you were about to shoot the energy at him.

Hawks stared, the hatred you had for heroes, the way you were ready to murder him in a matter of seconds. “I can save you Y/n, I will.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Hawks entered the confines of your room; you gave him a soft smile as he took a step closer. “Hey.” He nodded at your greeting, moving to sit beside you on the bed, “is everything okay?”

“Yeah, we need you though, I explained before about capturing Shigaraki.” You nodded remembering his earlier words, he had told you, you had been out for a month, but everything still felt new and with the amnesia it didn’t seem real at all. “It’s happening now, and we need you, we need the h…hero in you.”

He almost felt bad for lying but to bring you back, get you to become good again, this was the only way. You nodded as his hands moved against the bandages, “I need these off.” He began unwrapping them all, brown skin burnt as you saw the engrained initials T.T against your wrist. Keigo covered it with his fingers as he turned your arms around, Dabi had gone too far in suppressing your power.

“Y/n, don’t you fucking dare.” Dabi’s words echoed throughout the sky, the way you flew down as he saw the tears form around your eyes, “I…I can save you.”

“Let me go…”

You shook the memory aside, a familiar man…his face seemed to bring comfort. The villainous intent made you shake your head. He was unknown and your aim was to find Shigaraki and capture him, Keigo helped you outside, he saw how you still had a hospital gown on. Your costume had been destroyed in the blast, but you wouldn’t remember something like that. You couldn’t and it didn’t seem like you cared. “I’ll find you some clothes.”

He had spoken just as he had brought you in front of the pro heroes, a tense setting as they looked up and down at you. They tried to hide their disgust, but you could almost sense it, you didn’t know what your quirk was, but Keigo had told you it had been something to do with manipulating energy sources around you. You however had no idea how to ever start using this quirk, you looked back missing Keigo’s presence, before feeling his hand go against your back.

“I fucking love you, we promised till the end.” The same voice from before spoke out, his black hair and almost burnt features seemed distorted, but you could see yourself.

You held his hands both looking out onto the Tokyo skyline, “till the end.”

“Everything okay?” Keigo spoke as he passed you a bag, you nodded as he directed you to the bathroom on the other end.

Slowly walking inside, eyes being met with every single pro hero who looked to hate you. You looked into the bag, the entire black outfit with a black coat to match covered your body as you stared into the mirror. Eyes looking unfamiliar as you looked at a reflection of someone who wasn’t you, another you in another lifetime.

Your fingers moved to trace your face in the mirror before seeing the initials again, T.T. they seemed so familiar yet so far away. Looking at your burnt wrists, they seemed fragile yet when you touched them it began to peel away, showing your skin again. You traced the initials feeling another burst of energy come through into your mind.

“You fucking son of a bitch, don’t you dare touch her.” The voice screamed as he looked to be holding onto you, holding onto your limp body.

You couldn’t make out who the man was talking to in your fluttering eyes, but he seemed to be coming closer with every step. Your breath hitched as you saw the wings open up, realising that it was Keigo, he had saved you.

Wiping away stray tears you looked at yourself one last time before going back to the others. They seemed to be a bit more peaceful now as Keigo had explained the situation. His hand on your back reassuringly as the plan got dealt out with you and Keigo on the front lines.

His reassuring words were helping you to get through this all, his eyes soft as you both walked towards where the apparent league of villains hideout was. You only knew the both of you were somewhat bait for Shigaraki, which you didn’t really understand as how could you serve any importance.

Keigo dismissed your questions as he stared up at the twilight sky, almost preoccupied and not wanting to face the truth. You dismissed it as you both finally saw the scene; it was an abandoned lot right in the centre of the city. You looked out seeing shadows inside as you didn’t know how the two of you were even going to create a scene until Keigo did something you hadn’t expected.

“Hold on.” He grabbed onto your waist bringing you closer and closer up into the air, the wind against your skin, flying higher and high…letting you go. You fell to the ground stumbling as you looked up at his hand in the air as you felt the ground get closer and closer.

Until it stopped, energy had circled your fingers from the lights and vehicles around you as just as you reached the ground, a burst of energy stopped you creating flashing lights and fire in your way. Keigo saw you apologising but you didn’t say a word, staring at your fingers as you looked at the yellow wisps.

“It can’t be.” Both Keigo and you turned around, seeing three unfamiliar faces yet they seemed so familiar. You looked at the man who had been your target, Shigaraki with his many hands of the dead clothing on him.

“Target sighted.” Keigo spoke as you saw the helicopters and pro heroes begin to surround them, it had been easy, but they seemed ready to fight. Yet the tall man with black hair and burns just like on your wrists stared directly at you.

He stepped forward but pro heroes had already come, quirks out to kill him if necessary. “How are you…how are you alive?”

He stared at you, the soft face he remembered from all that time ago, the way you still seemed to have a sense of love inside of you. But he met a frown as you looked in confusion, hiding behind Keigo as you looked at him for the first time in horror. “Y/n, it’s okay I’ve got you.”

The rest of the league had begun fighting the pro heroes, Keigo telling you to stay out of trouble as you saw the man come and try to get closer to you but getting stopped by another person’s quirk. You finally saw the blue flamed in action, the way he burnt everything around him lighting up the entire street as pro heroes continued to try and capture him. “Y/n.” He repeated through the screams of civilians, “you don’t remember me.” You put your hands to your ears not wanting to hear him speak.

Why cold? A dark bleak room around you where everything had been cold. You saw Keigo, saw him watch over on the other side as you got tortured. Belt across your mouth as another electric shock hit your head making your whole-body frazzle. How long had it been? How long had you really been trapped?

“The names Dabi.” He spoke out, it had moved to another setting one where a dark alleyway had stretched out in front of a bar.

“Y/n.”

He looked down at you raising an eyebrow, “you really think you could be a villain.”

“Says the one who looks like he walked out of a horror movie.” You snickered as he scratched the back of his head.

“Whatever, you’ll get caught within a week.”

You rolled your eyes as your lip twitched upwards, “If I last a week then you owe me some fun.”

He had begun to walk towards the entrance of the hideout before turning around to answer you, “deal.”

Your hands grasped your ears harder as memories began to surface, screams of the civilians you and Dabi had killed together. You felt every emotion run through you, every moment in time with a man you had forgotten.

His soft lips against your own as he tenderly kissed your lips, rough hands against your cheeks as his tongue gilded inside. He felt you melt into it as your hands grabbed the back of his neck, a handful of hair as you felt something you hadn’t had in a long, long time. “I love you.”

It had been a whisper and he had heard it, his eyes softening as he looked at you saying the three words for the first time himself.

Your eyes met Dabi’s as you saw him try to destroy everything around him, maybe he didn’t care about being caught or maybe he had given up after seeing you forget. But you remembered, you remembered your relationship with him, remembered your firsts of everything but what had occurred however long it had been was still a mystery. You needed to remember, and the only way was through being with Dabi one last time.

You moved through the destruction almost running towards him, pro heroes realising you had broken their torture, Keigo trying to grab you. As yellow energy swooped around you filling your fingers as you pushed the heroes aside, the league seeming to realise they had gotten you back.

Dabi looked at you, almost pushing himself to get past the fires and pro heroes, as you pushed everything to the side. Your mind had started to become your own, as walls began to break inside, every step towards him making more memories emerge.

“You lasted a week then, what fun do you want?” He muttered, he had already seen the chaos you had caused and couldn’t lie and say he didn’t see you as an asset, but the way you gave a chilling smirk made him go cold.

You leaned against him, eyes looking up as you spoke, “I want to see the stars.”

“What the fuck?” He murmured, “what are you fi…”

“Please.” You pouted and with that single look he had taken you up to a hill to watch the sunset and nightfall erupt. He didn’t realise it then but that was the first time he had ever felt love in his heart, after all these years of torture from his father he had gained something new as you leant against his body. Pointing out each constellation and where the next would be, he had fallen for you in that time.

“Dabi.” You screamed as you ran into his arms, letting the yellow energy encompass you as he held you. Held onto the woman he hadn’t seen in a year, the woman who had been taken away from him, he looked into those soft eyes of yours, the same ones he had seen when you went to go watch the stars.

He kissed your forehead as you both stayed in each other’s arms before he leant down to capture your lips. His soft lips brushing against your own, love and lust filled but most of all the memories of that day had finally occurred.

“Y/n, don’t you fucking dare.” Dabi’s words echoed throughout the sky, the way you flew down as he saw the tears form around your eyes, “I…I can save you.”

“Let me go…” Yellow surrounding you as you and the league had been confronted by pro heroes, they began to circle you and you only had one option left to save them, to save him.

The yellow became brighter as the rest of the city turned dark, all the energy cultivating inside of you. You were burning, feeling your head burn as the yellow stayed firm in your grasps. The cries of civilians and pro heroes trying to attack you being prevalent before you burst. Flames capture the entire city, buildings burning, and pro heroes being shot down to the ground as each essence of your power burns out of you. Until you fell, you fell to the ground as Dabi tried to get a hold of you, tried to grab onto you, but saw the warp gate surround your body and his own.

He instantly moved to grab your limp body, the way you collapsed in his arms unable to even form words as your eyes became heavier and heavier. He kissed your cheek as he looked down at you, he knew if he had still had tear ducts he’d be crying but instead all that formed were I love you’s and pleas for your survival.

He saw Kurogiri get slammed to the side by Hawks as he stared with hatred at him.

“You fucking son of a bitch, don’t you dare touch her.” He screamed as he held onto your limp body.

You couldn’t make out who the man was talking to in your fluttering eyes, but he seemed to be coming closer with every step. Your breath hitched as you saw the wings open up, realising that it was Keigo, he was ready to take you.

Keigo looked at Dabi before pinning his feathers to the man, his eyes filled with fury until he felt Endeavor grab him and push him onto another building. The last thing Dabi saw was you in Keigo’s’ arms being taken away.

“How long?” You whispered as you both stopped kissing, Dabi didn’t want to answer that instead looking down at the burn marks that he hadn’t caused. He looked down at his initials kissing it softly before looking up.

You repeated your question waiting for an answer, “one year.”

Holding onto him again, you kept him close by you as the yellow energy field kept you both safe. You both would stay safe forever, you would be together and have the happiness you deserve with him. You cupped his cheek to kiss him again, having missed the feeling of his lips against your own, the torture and near death you had experienced. Was all for this, was all to meet the man you loved on…

Darkness. Your body collapsed as Dabi felt your limp body against his own, blood seeping through onto your clothes as it went against his fingers. A bullet, not just a normal one, one made from your own energy had passed through the field and collided with your stomach. It wasn’t a warning bullet, they had killed you, Dabi collapsed just as he had a year ago. Eyes looking up at the destruction ahead as he held onto you, seeing how tears poured out. “I love you.”

“No, please not again.” He whispered seeing Kurogiri ready to warp around everybody, he needed you to come with them. He couldn’t watch you get tortured and forget him all over again, the sounds of pro heroes ready to shoot once more as the warp went around the two of you.

The countryside where the league watched and stared at your limp body. “I’m so…sorry, for no…not being…there.”

“It doesn’t matter, just stay with me, come on Y/n, stay with me.” His words were pleading, he needed you to be okay, but the bullet had hit a vital organ and you and him both knew you had no time left.

“Say it.” You whispered.

He knew what you wanted him to say, the words that would finally bring you peace, “I love you Y/n.”

With those four words everything became dark as your arm went to the grass and Dabi held your corpse in his hands, blood covering the two of you as he looked up at the sky. He had always thought the two of you would die together, a type of double suicide but now finally being left without you for good this time. He would never know the torture you went through, but as he kissed your head one last time, he would rid the world of fake heroes in your name. For that had been the dream of the two of you ever since that night watching the stars.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[haravath0t]

A Step Into The Light

Pairing: Loki x Reader (female reader)

Word Count: 2.8K

Warning(s): angst, fluff, a comforting Loki! 

Hello, everyone! We are going to kick off the 200 followers celebration with our first fics from gifs prompt sent in by the lovely @tomholland-96 !! This is my second Loki work so forgive me, as I’m trying my best to emulate my characterization of him! If you want to take part in the 200 followers celebration, please take a look at the pinned post on my page so that you can see the details! It may be slow until the 20th because the Spring Semester is becoming close to its end, so we are grinding till we reach the finish line folks! Enjoy reading my lovelies! HERE WE GO!

(Gif used not mine)

Prompt: “Loki listens to reader rambling about something and realizes that he loves her.”

Loki spends most of his days and nights to himself, burying his nose into the pages of old books whenever he possibly can. He would sneak off in the middle of the night in order to place himself near shelves of books, finding solace in the simple calm of the night that came alongside the pleasing sounds of pages being turned. The night he had first talked to you was no different, as the beams coming from the moon shone through the glass window and into the room, reminding him of the same nights that he had done this back on Asgard. 

This quick remembrance of his old home was then pushed aside as he made himself comfortable, wanting to delve into the work of the highly recommended William Shakespeare. Tonight he had opted to read Romeo and Juliet, a recommendation from the brooding super soldier with the metal arm. Bucky, he remembered. Halfway through Act 1, his gaze averted from the page for the first time tonight, hearing the sound of a book dropping, a book that surely was not from his pile beside him. He heard a tiny curse from the next room, causing his eyes to furrow before he stands up cautiously, quietly walking towards the direction of the voice. 

“Sorry, that was all me,” you say, popping up from the wall next door, eyes tightly shut in humiliation that you were easily discovered by the god. “I… I was just on my way to return some books, that's all.” You managed to squeak out, opening your eyes and immediately keeping your gaze onto the floor. 

Loki had seen you around the compound before. You were quiet, shy to new people, yet he was also able to see how you were through familiar friends which had caused him to take a quiet interest in you. Despite your fiery persona during missions, he had seen you to be quite the opposite in the compound. He saw the extra care that you had put in everyone, as if you knew what they all needed. He’d see the way you’d bring coffee to Tony while he worked away in his lab, or how you would wake up in the morning to run with Steve, Bucky, and Sam (despite your tired state coming back). He’d also see how you would willingly cook meals for everyone during the times when you were available, surprisingly even remembering him. Thor had brought him a plateful of dinner his first night in, saying that you had offered this to him in case he felt hungry. Much to his surprise, he quite enjoyed it. Despite his unwillingness to join the team for times such as these, he would often consider to go against his usual routine for the sake of seeing just how you would act towards him. However, it secretly had hurt him to see your current state, your gaze towards the ground as your back was slightly hunched in intimidation. It reminded him of the image that had been held by him. 

“Are you going to return the books or not?” He hears himself say. He immediately regrets the tone he had spoken in, watching as you slightly twitch at the tone. 

“Oh, yeah… mmm… sorry. I’ll make this quick.” You quickly squeak before you shyly go around him, unaware of the way he watches you carefully put away the handful of books that were in your arms. Regret had hit him harder as your eyes met, for your eyes were not filled with hatred as he suspected, but guilt and embarrassment instead. Why could you be so embarrassed, he wondered. You offered him a slight smile when you spotted Romeo and Juliet open on the chair where he sat. 

“Oooh, Romeo and Juliet… it’s a nice read. I hope you enjoy,” you softly say, the last part of your sentence slowly trailing off before you make your way at the door. However, before you head out, you freeze. “Oh, I also want to apologize. I didn’t wanna give you too much trouble, I didn’t realize you were still here.” You blurt out, embarrassed once again at your awkwardness. 

Loki only raised an eyebrow at you, his body now facing yours. “That I’m still here? What makes you come to this reasoning?”

You point to the clock, your tiny attempt to justify your reasoning. “Oh, this is the normal time I come to read. I know you like to read alone, so I tend to go in after you that’s all. It’s okay though! Romeo and Juliet is a nice read! It was a nice introduction to Shakespeare-“ 

Loki couldn’t help the small smirk that appeared on his face hearing you talk about your experience on reading Romeo and Juliet. However, you quickly stop yourself, smiling shyly as you straighten yourself up. “Well, I don’t wanna end up spoiling you, but it’s actually good! I promise!” He did not have any time to respond as you quickly bolted out of the sitting area without looking  back. He concluded to himself to come in later than his usual time.

It took a few months before you loosened up around the god of mischief, finding yourselves meeting up at night to stay in each other’s company. From reading the same books, to taking night walks around the compound, Loki had begun to slowly ease into your company. Thor had taken notice of his brother becoming less tense, more tolerable, and even more present in the compound. Thor’s suspicions have been answered when he heard a laugh outside his window. As his curiosity had led him to peek out the window, he saw his own brother walking beside you. He was carrying a soft smile on his lips as you and him conversed. Thor had not let go of it since that night. 

“Is there something about you and Y/N that I should know, brother?” He asks Loki, a wide grin on his face as he walks with his brother from sparring in the gym. Loki’s eyes widen at the bold question, his eyebrows immediately furrowing. 

“I know you two hang out and all, I assumed that there’s something going on between the both of you that’s all.”

“Bold assumption, brother. Even for me. No, there is nothing going on, just being friendly that’s all.”

Thor scoffed at this, shaking his head as he lets out a chuckle. “I don’t think whatever I saw you both doing was just friendly.” 

Loki cocked an eyebrow, visibly lost at the words of his brother. “I don’t understand. We walk, talk, and read. Like any normal friend would. How is that past friendly?” 

“Don’t talk like that, brother. I know what you are trying to do. Have you seen yourself around us? You avoid the team so often, yet when she invites you to do something with her, you do it willing-” 

“How do you even know this?” Loki hisses, interrupting the blond from his statement and taking a step backwards. “There is nothing, absolutely nothing going on. Her and I are merely partners in reading. You don’t understand at all. There will be nothing more than what we have.” 

Loki only looked at Thor in surprise when he let out a boisterous laugh, brows furrowing as the god had an even wider grin than before. “You listen, brother, listen well. I think you are in denial. You are afraid to get your feelings hurt because of her. You are afraid anything more than this will drive you away.” Thor starts, pointing a finger at the confused god. Before he interrupts, Thor continues. “You shouldn’t have to fret brother. We both know that even a mischievous god like yourself deserves someone like her. I think she’s a fine lady. Balances you out quite well. One day, I know you’ll realize this, and I’ll tell you ‘I told you so.’ ”

Loki can only watch his brother retreat back to his room that night, standing in bewilderment before opting to end the night. 

Loki had stirred the next morning to a gentle knock, wondering who could wake him up at the crack of dawn. He padded his way to the door, surprised at the sight of you, hair messy, baggy pajamas, and a notably tired face. 

“Why, isn’t this a surprise,” He starts, his form visibly relaxing at the familiar face, his voice also softening. “What is it, my dear?” 

“Sorry, I know you don’t like company, but you’re the only person I really trust at this point.” You say with a shy smile, your bed voice apparent. 

“Surely Rogers or Barnes and all may be better help-”

He stops the moment you shake your head, tears immediately welling up as you hug yourself, his heart breaking at the sight. “Oh petal…” he sighs, not hesitating to wrap a protective arm around you to lead you inside. 

You had begun to burst into tears as he led you to his bed, Loki sitting the two of you down as your emotions ran free. Loki silently encouraged you as you let your tears fall, showing no signs in wanting you to stop. He hesitantly raised a hand, slowly bringing strands of your hair out of your face and tucking them behind your hair as he watched. His heart broke once again that morning, not used to seeing your normally upbeat and optimistic self broken and helpless. It felt like he was seeing a part of himself in you, a part he hated to see and recognize. However, seeing this in a person like you made him all the more closer to you. There possibly was a place where you two understood each other more. 

It had led him to gently wiping your tears with a gentle touch of his thumb. It was hesitant, but the touch alone made you relax, reminding you of the reality that there was someone beside you who could possibly ground you, who could possibly offer you some perspective. The god continued to wipe your tears as the wave of emotions had died down to sniffles and a quiet thank you. 

Why of all people did you come to him? What had concerned you so much to have led yourself to his room? He couldn’t help but ask the question. “If I may, what has happened to have brought you here to me?” 

You sighed and leaned into his body, your body tired from the crying. “Bad dream…” you start off. “Loki… what do you do when... When you feel like you’re not enough? When you feel like you don’t really have earned your place into this team?” 

Loki furrowed his eyebrows and nodded in understanding, very familiar with the new condition she had provided him. “Well, from what Thor tells me, I should be aware that I am more than what that part of me thinks I am. More than what other label that others have put on me,” he starts, looking at the floor in thought. “But…. we don’t truly move on from that easily, don’t we?” He questions, his eyes now directed to yours, surprised that they’ve been attentive, as if holding onto his every move, every word that has slipped from his lips. You shake your head. 

“No… it’s been a little while since I’ve felt this way, but this time it came back in my sleep. I can’t help but feel doubtful. There are more capable agents out there in our facility. Why me? What have I done to earn this place?” You confess, shifting your weight on the bed side to side nervously, afraid that you are slowly driving the god away. Afraid you are saying more than he wanted to say. However, the reassurance you were having is his attentive gaze as well as the hand that was now holding yours. 

“Petal, I assure you, from what I have seen of you, your work ethic exceeds all others. You are talented and gifted. One thing that had taken me a while to realize… I still struggle with it as well… it is not only the advantages that we hold that define who we are, but it is also our struggles, what we do with these struggles and hardships… those have equal value into defining who we are. And from how the team sees you? I believe they know that you have used it for the good and the betterment of others. It doesn’t go unappreciated.” A small beat of pause fills the air before he continues. 

“I…. personally am grateful for your company. I am grateful that you have been good to me. I’m glad to be...friends… friends with you.” 

He had tried his best to ignore the feeling of his heart leaping when the hint of a smile had graced your face. 

“You think so?”

Loki’s lips tempt to curl up into a smile as he nods. “I know so. Now, what do you do to relieve yourself from your troubles?” He inquires, having this urge to keep taking part in making you feel better. It grants him a sense of satisfaction when your smile widens. 

“Snacks in bed while I watch some videos of my favorite place.” You reply, which made Loki immediately sit you both in his emerald green blankets, adjusting the pillows as they become a makeshift headrest for your heads. You gasp in surprise as he had made ice cream appear with a green glow beside you both as you set up the TV. 

“Gee, my favorite flavor,” you gasped in awe, looking at Loki gratefully. “Thank you.” 

Loki can only chuckle and shrug as you resume your search on YouTube. “I have taken note of it one night. I’m glad I was correct.” 

You pulled up a video of a ride from Disneyland, smiling as you ate ice cream and watched the familiar ride take its course. 

“So what’s special about this place?” You hear the god question. You didn’t hold back the smile that graced your face. 

“Oh, it’s the most amazing place! You see, Disneyland is this theme park- oh I want to ask Tony so bad, but there you-” 

It made Loki smile, watching your eyes light up as you went on talking about something you took interest in. He managed to make you do it again. It was a refreshing sight.  

Loki never really appealed to many people in the compound. He hated watching Stark’s prideful personality take the reins of meetings or even dinner. He hated how Rogers’ surge of righteousness always oozed out, whether it was from his little “monologues” or even from the way he had walked around the facility. He’d easily find a way to block their voices out of his head. However, you were a different case. 

He admired how often you rambled. He found it amusing that you found so much love and passion for almost anything and everything you saw or heard. He found it pure that someone who had an excellent ethic out in the battlefield had this love for living. It made him think that perhaps living on Midgard would not be the worst thing. However, he realized one thing as you paused to eat some ice cream before rambling on. He could not be able to step into Midgard with this mindset without you. In fact, he wouldn’t be able to fully discover what Midgard can hold without you. He was proud to admit to himself that he knew you on a level that was different from how others knew you. He saw you as a quiet, yet powerful force to have walked on Midgard. Yes you were quiet and shy, even self-cautious, but your empathy towards everyone, even to a person like himself, had made him realize, maybe he wasn’t so bad. Maybe there was a chance to be out of this dark corner that he had been placed in. He felt like it would only happen if you were willing to hold his hand through it all. 

You blushed when you realized you were rambling, immediately halting your thoughts and words. “Sorry, I must have bored you.” 

He smiled at your consideration for his side. “Not at all, petal.” 

“Hey… you think we can go there one day together? I’d love to have you as a riding buddy.”  

The way your eyes lit in excitement and expectation alongside your joyful smile made him reciprocate your joy with his own lips. 

“It would be a great honor, petal.” 

Thor was right. Maybe indeed there was something more that Loki had yearned for when it came to you. He was uncertain of how it would turn out, but he was willing to see how it would unfold as long as it meant you would be around.

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*Feedback and commentary are very much appreciated!

[uglypastels]

Hii! I'm in love with your writing! I was hoping you could do one where reader is just naturally quiet but very observant and she avoids physsical contact because of her past and she notices things before anyone in the group like maybe she figured out Leo was a prince but didnt tell anyone because it's not her business to "out" him and Bea gets really mad at her and she gets in her personal space and Billy defends her because he's secretely in love with her and just angst and fluff??

I'll love you forever if you do this (its fine if you cant I'll still love you forever because i love your writing and I've never had the courage to write my own stuff so I admire you for that) ❤️✨

Oh my god anon, I love you!!! sorry, it took me a while to answer!! and seriously, writing has nothing to do with courage. I say, just go for it!! You clearly got the creativity to think of some great ideas!! (exhibit A right above my answer <3!!) even if you decide not to post it, I highly recommend that you write if you want to! Just go for it!! <3  also in this blurb, I'm putting Bea in a bit of a bad light and just want to say, that I love bea and this is not usually how i would like to portray her. i love our queen bea. but ya know, it’s an emotional time for, she’s going through a lot. again sorry. 

Spoilers for the Irregulars!!

____________________________

You jumped up from your bed when you saw the rest of the group barge through the door of the cellar. Their expressions were hard to read, but none of them looked happy. 

“Hey guys,” you said as you joined them on the main floor, “w-where’s Leo?” 

“He’s gone.” Bea snapped, clearly angry at something. “And he’s not coming back.” 

“What? What happened?” You looked around but didn’t get much of an answer from anyone’s faces. Spike and Jessie just shrugged while Billy barely even looked at anyone. The anger in him was evident. Something bad must have happened. 

“Is Leo okay?” You were starting to get worried. What if he had gotten hurt? 

“It doesn't matter, y/n!” Bea burst out, “Leo was a... a liar and betrayed all of us and now he left and I hope to god he never shows his face again or- or...” 

You were only getting more and more confused by the second. With a look, you made another attempt at getting a bit of a more clear answer. Finally, Spike spoke up. 

“He lied. He doesn't have an uncle at King’s Cross- he’s... rich. Like, royally rich.” 

“Oh,” maybe you should have sounded more surprised, but you weren’t. You had kind of come to that conclusion on your own quite early on. His clothes, the way he spoke, his curfew and the fact that he knew so much about everything... Not that you had ever told anyone, not even Leo. Whatever the reason, it was his own reason and his business why he was doing what he did. Not yours. So you let it be. If he wanted to tell, you were sure he would do it, and if not... well. 

“Oh,” you repeated yourself, not sure what else to say. Bea clearly understood. 

“Did- did you know?” She glared at you. It must have been the anger that she was already feeling toward the prince, but now that he was not with you anymore, she had to focus those emotions on something else. Find a new target... which was apparently you. 

“No, I didn’t. It was just a hunch, I suppose. I mean, I’m sure we were all thinking about it at one point. With the way he dressed and stuff-” 

“You knew! And you didn’t tell us?!” Bea stepped up front, and from the corner of your eye could see everyone getting a bit stiff in the back. Especially Billy-

“Bea-” he tried to calm her down, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. 

“You fucking knew! I can’t believe it.” 

“Bea, I swear, I didn’t- I just-” She was getting closer to you, and the more she did, you further back you tried to step, feeling that beating feeling in your throat. 

“Oh right,  you just thought. Well, you could have still told me what you thought, y/n! Instead of just sitting there in the corner like a freak!”  

“Bea, enough!” Billy shouted, only making you flinch more. Why did everyone always have to yell when they were mad? Why?  

“It wasn’t my business-” you whimpered out. You could tell that she was about to say something, pure fury filling her eyes, but before she could, Billy stepped in front of you. 

“Bea, for the love of god, let her fucking be. It’s not her fault.” Billy looked Bea in the eyes and for a long moment, no one said anything. Spike and Jessie were frozen, not sure what to do, and you understood that. If it were the other way around, you would have no idea how to respond. It was horrible. 

Then, slowly, Bea blinked and looked at you. The anger subsiding, but it was still there. She opened her mouth, it trembled just the slightest bit, before she said anything: “I have to go.” and she ran off outside, followed by her sister. 

“Are you okay?” Billy turned to you, looking worried. You nodded your head, then saw he was reaching out his hand and stepped aside. 

“Sorry, just your cheeks- may I?” hesitantly, you stepped forward and let him brush off the few rogue tears that had fallen down your cheeks. 

“Thanks,” you said, looking at the ground.

“Of course,” he smiled in his awkward nature, “and don’t mind Bea, she’s really upset- not that that really justifies it, but... ya know.” 

“Yeah, I do. I do. I’m just thinking, maybe I should have told you guys what I was thinking- but I couldn't have known for sure and I didn’t want to upset Leo and oh god,” you burst into tears and leapt into an embrace, almost making Billy fall back. After regaining his balance, he held you, tightly, and for the first time, you actually felt safe being so close to someone. 

[hutchhitched]

Don’t Talk To Me

Written by: @hutchhitched

Prompt 76: Modern a/u Katniss is getting over the loss of her sister (you decide how) when she meets Peeta. She’s closed off but he finds a way in. Maybe she works for him? Him for her? Maybe she cries herself to sleep on his bread scented shoulder? (Please yes I need that) [submitted by @endlessnightlock]

Ratings/Warnings: T

A/N: Y’all... It’s finally here. This is story number nine from the nine prompts I claimed for the 2020 @everlarkficexchange and then lost the will to write during the early months of the pandemic. I wasn’t sure I’d get here, but it’s happened. This is not the story I intended to write when I took the prompt, but sometimes the muse takes control, and I simply follow. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays and @endlessnightlock for being supportive of my plot change.

Katniss Everdeen hates people. Well, that’s not exactly true, but she doesn’t exactly like them either. They’re too…human or whatever. Too many acquaintances. The last thing she wants to do is get close to any of them, especially after the events of the past few months. She’s barely holding it together as it is, and introducing people or, even worse, friends could tip her right over the edge. She values her sanity.

 That’s probably why the new, sweet, disgustingly optimistic, overly friendly hire at the coffee shop where Katniss works irritates her so much. He’s just so nauseatingly earnest. It makes her want to punch him in the face.

 “How’s my favorite barista today?” he asks when she joins him behind the counter while still tying her apron. She mumbles noncommittally, but he doesn’t seem at all deterred. “I like that sweater.”

 “Peeta,” she says as she attempts to maintain control of her temper. He looks at her with such eagerness, she wilts under his obvious enthusiasm. “I’m just… It’s not a good day. Can we not?”

 His face falls, and she almost relents. She doesn’t know what it is that’s convinced him she’s someone he needs to befriend, but she simply has no interest. She doesn’t want more entanglements. They hurt too much.

 “Sorry,” he whispers and turns away. She swallows a twinge of guilt for hurting his feelings, but she doesn’t yield. Instead, she pivots to the espresso machine and starts making coffee. They work together silently, their only conversation about drink orders. They move around each other easily with no uncomfortable bumping or banging elbows or shoulders. He’s a good worker, at least, and he knows how to take a hint.

 “See you tomorrow,” Peeta says softly as his shift ends, and she flashes a brief smile. She doesn’t want to be rude, but come on. He doesn’t have to be friends with everybody.

 It continues like that for months, him fruitlessly friendly and her taciturn and distant. He continues to pursue a friendship, never pushing or prodding, simply being there and consistently showing kind. It’s exhausting.

 “How do you manage to stay so sickeningly upbeat?” she asks finally after several days of wanting to scream. He wears her down. She’d tell him to stop, but she’s starting to think she might like his optimism a little bit.

 He pauses for a second to glance at her before returning his attention to slipping sleeves onto the cup he’s holding. He calls out the order and smiles at the customer before answering. “What’s the other option? Being miserable?”

 “Well, I’m pretty good at it.”

 “I don’t think that’s true,” he argues softly. “I think you’ve had a rough time, and you’re grieving and healing. No one begrudges you that.”

 She gapes at him for a few seconds before snapping back to attention. The last thing she needs is to break down in front of everyone. Somehow, she thought he didn’t know anything. It’s disconcerting to realize her grief is on public display when she’s worked so hard to tuck it away. She reels, and he presses his lips together in frustration.

 “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

 “It’s… You’re fine.” She swallows hard and shakes her head. “I’m taking my break.”

 His wounded expression slices through her as she flees.

 ****

 Another couple of weeks pass before Katniss finds herself alone with Peeta again. They’re scheduled to close on a slow night, and everyone else has gone home when he locks the door behind the last customer and she turns off the light and secures the window for the drive through window.

 “Alone at last,” she jokes and is struck by his wry grin.

 “You don’t have to do that.”

 “Lock up? I think I do.”

 He catches her gaze and refuses to let it drop. “Pretend to be happy you’re here with me.”

 “I—”

 “I’m sorry,” he insists. “I thought maybe if I could talk to you and stop being so, you know, wounded that maybe we could take a shot at being friends. I didn’t mean to upset you, Katniss. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

 She doesn’t answer for several beats. He squirms a little and drops his eyes to study twisting hands and twitching feet. She’s going to regret this. She knows she will. Still, there’s something sweet and shy and kind that she yearns for when the rest of the world is so hard and cold. Maybe it’s weakness or something else equally awful she should expunge from her personality, but she can’t let him spiral this way. Maybe it’ll stop hers, too.

 “We could, uh, try that.”

 It comes out garbled and stunted, but the change in his countenance makes her glad she took the step. A thousand emotions flit over his handsome face, but a grin splits his lips so wide that his teeth flash white. She holds up her hands to head him off, but he steadies himself. With eyes twinkling, he chuckles.

 “I saw the fear there for a second. I’ll control myself before I start asking the deep stuff.”

 “The deep stuff?” she asks, still gun-shy.

 “Yeah, like it’s crazy that I’d voluntarily cover a shift for you if you called in sick, but I don’t know your favorite color.”

 “It’s green.”

 “Mine’s orange.”

 “Like those chairs?” she laughs and nods at the overly bright upholstery on the furniture. Apparently someone in corporate thought pumpkin spice wasn’t just their most popular fall drink; it was also where customers could put their butts as they sipped caffeine-laden drinks.

 “Softer,” he answers, his voice a breathy whisper. “Like the sunset.”

 Her eyes drift shut. He’s put a spell on the space with his words, and she wants to stay there for a moment. When he’s not being overeager, Peeta Mellark is charming as hell. Lord, help her.

 “Can I tell you a secret? It’s really important.”

 She tenses, but when she opens her eyes, she finds that he’s moved closer to her and propped his hip against the counter. He looks so young and hopeful there’s no way she can be scared of him.

 “If you must,” she sniffs and smiles to soften her response.

 “Lean in close. It’s a big one.” She does so slowly, and he waits patiently until she’s close enough that he can whisper, “Don’t tell our boss, but I’m a tea guy. Two lumps of sugar. I don’t even like coffee.”

 Her eyes widen for a split second, and then she bursts into laughter. Tears gather in her eyes as she shakes. “That’s not a big one!”

 “Coffee is life, Katniss. A known tea drinker would be cast out among the wolves. I’ll just stay incognito. I’m trusting you with my life here.”

 “And what if I spill it?”

 “Spill the tea?” He winks as she gasps for air. Just as quickly, he wipes his expression from his face and assumes mock sobriety. Somberly, he picks up the broom and starts to sweep. “Well, then, I guess you’ll have one fewer opponent to beat out for employee of the month.”

 The whole idea that Katniss, surly and grumpy as she is, could ever win a customer service award is so preposterous she can’t keep from giggling. By the time the café is clean, she’s a million times lighter. When they head separate ways after locking up, she watches him as he strides down the street. Before he turns the corner, he tosses a look over his shoulder and waves. She doesn’t even have to think about it. She waves back.

 ****

 They become friends, and it upends her life. Katniss isn’t used to having people around. Not since her sister passed away and left her all alone in the world. Katniss had gotten used to being an orphan, but when her sister was killed in a car crash, the loneliness and despair overwhelmed her. With Peeta around, she doesn’t feel quite so isolated anymore.

 They take short walks on shared breaks, and he leans down to pick dandelions from between the sidewalk cracks before handing them to her with a bashful grin. He shields her from overly aggressive customers during busy periods at the café, and, after several weeks, he manages to convince her that spending time together outside of work isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

 “Friends do tend to see each other in social settings,” he teases, and Katniss finally relents.

 They go to movies and basketball games and art exhibits and archery competitions and all sorts of other things she had no idea she’d enjoy until Peeta suggested the activity. Sometimes, they do mundane things like grocery shopping together. She finds she likes trying new things as long as there’s someone with her and they can debrief about what was good and bad afterward. He convinces her to try one of those art classes with BYOB wine and a pre-chosen image to paint, and she gasps when his own creation takes on a life of its own while hers seems like a bad paint with water replica. He teaches her to cook bread and cookies and cinnamon rolls, and she shares her heirloom lamb stew recipe with him. They’re comfortable together. He never pushes, never makes her feel like he needs anything more than simple friendship.

 Until, that is, the anniversary of her sister’s death.

 She should have taken off work. She knows that, but the café is short-handed. Besides, she needs the money. It’s rainy and muggy and awful when she leaves the house, and the subway is packed much more than usual. She’s jostled and pushed and touched inappropriately (although, that was likely unintentional with how closely pressed together the passengers are in the train car), so that by the time she gets to work, she’s irritable, grumpy, and a ten seconds from losing it.

 It’s possible it’s the weather or the alignment of the stars or an almost full-moon or the changing of the seasons. It could be that other people are suffering from trauma and loss and depression, as well. Or it could be that Katniss just has really bad luck.

 “This drink is wrong.”

 The harsh complaint is snapped at her by an unpleasant looking man with white hair and a beard. He looks at her like she’s something rotten on the underside of his shoe when he shoves the cup toward her and sloshes some of the hot liquid on her outstretched hand. She hisses at the burn and immediately turns to the sink to run cold water over her skin before it blisters.

 “Don’t turn your back on me! Fix my coffee.”

 Katniss tenses, her guard up, but she refuses to move. His actions burned her, and she’s following not only methods of self-preservation but also the company’s safe work policies. Injuries are to be treated immediately on the job. She’s doing that.

 He continues yelling, attracting the attention of patrons and staff. Peeta finishes with the order he’s taking and quickly intervenes, coming to her rescue whether she wants him to or not. She’s not sure which is accurate.

 “Can I help you, sir? My name is Peeta, and I’m—”

 The man squints at Peeta and raises a shaking hand toward me. He’s livid, and Peeta takes a half-step back at the fury that’s suddenly directed his way. The situation escalates. It’s not pretty. The police are called, and customers are shaken. That’s nothing compared to the way Katniss quakes inside her own skin. She’s barely holding it together when their manager intercedes.

 “Get her out of here,” Haymitch barks at Peeta before turning to the customer. The coffee cup he’s thrown at her rolls on the floor in a puddle of liquid. The name scrawled on the outside is Snow. It’s ironic. Katniss has always hated winter.

 They make it to the back before she crumbles, and Peeta lets go of her hand to help her sit down on a stack of crates. He settles next to her and pulls her into a loose embrace—tight enough so that she knows he’s there but loose so she doesn’t feel trapped. It’s the perfect way to comfort her. He’s perfect, and she’s a mess.

 The tears flow, and she’s too broken to bother to wipe them away. Shoulders shake and sobs tear from her throat in gulping heaves. At one point, she moans her dead sister’s name. It’s a mournful wail that washes over her and makes her hurt even worse. He pats her back and toys with the tip of her braid. It’s an unlikely source of solace, and it causes her to turn into him and press her face to his shoulder.

 He smells like bread, she realizes in a random flash of clarity. She’s lamenting her sister, but that scent claws at her senses and registers in the olfactory section of her brain. How odd, she thinks before a fresh wave of grief shakes her torso.

 “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. I’m here. Take as long as you need. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

 She’s not, though. She’s not all right, and she knows he understands that. He’s working with a limited vocabulary as he tries to help her. That’s what people say when they’re faced with a weeping friend. She’s done it herself. His tone of voice and gentle touch more than prove his compassion for her pain.

 She doesn’t know how long they sit there, but it’s long enough that her tears have soaked his shoulder. A sharp cough invades their little bubble, and they both glance up to see Haymitch in the doorway.

 “Clock out,” he orders in that gruff way of his. “We’ve got you both covered. Take her home, boy.” Peeta nods at the nickname without protest. It would be offensive if it meant anything other than their boss can’t remember anyone’s names, although that’s bad enough.

 Peeta hails a cab and gives her address. He escorts her to her door and unlocks it for her before guiding her inside and seating her on the couch. When he moves away, she grabs at his hand and pulls him down next to her. His arms envelop her again, and she presses her face into his neck and allows the tears to streak down her cheeks while she hiccups. She hates being vulnerable, but she trusts him. They’ve grown close over the past few months.

 Finally, she runs dry. Her sobs subside, and her body stills. He doesn’t shift, doesn’t attempt to pull away. Instead, he simply waits and gives her the space for what she needs. It’s a beautiful thing to grieve with someone who allows it to occur instead of hindering the process. She’s not okay. She won’t be for a long time, but she’s survived today. For now, that’s enough.

 “Thank you,” she mumbles against his shoulder. When he doesn’t answer, she glances up at him through wet lashes and finds him looking at her with compassion in his piercing blue eyes. She could fall into them if she’d let herself. When he lifts his hand to brush flyaway wisps of hair from her forehead, she thinks maybe she should.

 Time freezes. There’s a pulse between them that shakes the world. They’re drawn together, and she doesn’t second guess it or pull away from him. Instead, she closes her eyes and meets his mouth with hers. It’s gentle, just a sweet brush of lips, but it tastes like a reawakening, like the snow melting away and the earth coming back to life in spring.

 It’s scary. It’s terrifying. It’s also right. After the events of the past year, she deserves a new beginning.

[cloudsnbones]

Ok so quick note, thanks to @wonderofasunrise whose blog I found these prompts on and thus which proceeded to steal. this is no. 11. :)

Excuse for being lazy: also yes this is only meant to be short so like sorry for not expanding on things at all. Perhaps I shall make up for that next time ;)

This is set in s8 around wintery times.

Please enjoy :3

“I thought I would be okay with just being friends but… All I can think of when I’m around you is how badly I want to kiss you and how I can’t do that anymore.”

Kerry lay quietly, her cheek resting on Susan’s chest, her eyes shut in a warm, pensive bliss – two souls in harmony.

Their illicit affair had begun as a matter of surprise to them both; after a night of heavy drinking and deep confessions they awoke the next morning sharing a bed, and what had started as a one-night stand became a regular thing after replicating the original night twice over.

Not only had their sexual relationship grown in a way that neither could have imagined, but an understanding, a friendship had also developed which had allowed themselves to trust wholeheartedly and without the fear of judgment for the first time in a very long time.

Kerry had indeed gotten accustomed to arriving home and finding Susan outside waiting for her, she had started to prepare dinners big enough for two in anticipation of an inevitable phone call asking to spend the night. Everything was falling into place. Therefore, it could never have lasted.

“I think we should end it.”

Whatever ‘it’ was. The nebulous nature of their relationship was growing all too much for Kerry, because, to tell the truth, she had fallen.

She didn’t think that there had ever been a time when she wasn’t in love with Susan Lewis, but to have been finally exposed in full to that euphoria, to live out her long-term dream, one she’d barely registered before now, was bittersweet…when she knew that Susan would never, could never requite what she felt inside.

Susan was surprised at the statement. She had never really thought about ending it, actually ending it. To be honest, since this whole thing started, she hadn’t really thought about anything at all. She knew that they were never going to be a “they”, Kerry Weaver and Susan Lewis: ER Power Couple, but she couldn’t help feel a little, disappointed at the idea of losing her? Although, she wasn’t really going to be lost, just not there in the same way. It just seemed really random, why now? Had she been planning this for a while? It was going well, she had thought, but knowing Kerry perhaps to her this wasn’t right. Anyway, best to end things whilst they’re good right? She clung to that thought in the hope that it might fill the suspicious hole she felt deep down in her chest.

The two promised to stay friends, it’s always nice to have an ally. And Susan was just fine with that, one-hundred-percent completely fine.

“23-year-old male, multiple head lacs, altered, LOC, vitals stable, BP 120/80,” announced the new EMT Danielle as she tried to shake her overgrown fringe out of her eyes.

It was just then as Susan and Kerry approached to take the trauma that the man in question lent over and wretched blood all over Danielle’s jacket causing Kerry and Susan to jump back a little before grabbing the sides of the gurney so that she could sort herself out. The man started to lose consciousness again as they raced to get him inside.

Danielle shed her jacket leaving it on the tarmac of the ambulance bay revealing a white vest and tattoo sleeves before she continued her debrief whilst following the pair to the trauma room, “Received 50 of Lidocaine at the scene, complains of dizziness and neck pain,” she continued.

As they entered the trauma room Susan finally took a look at the woman speaking and what said woman was wearing, “Nice top,” she said her eyes lingering a little bit too long.

“Thanks,” replied Danielle looking down at herself briefly before smiling to show her gratitude.

“LIFT ON 1, 2, 3!” Kerry ordered loudly cutting their little interaction short.

And as Susan lent over to start working on the man she felt Danielle put something small into her pocket whispering, “I’ll see you later.”

She stared as the woman left the trauma room only to look back around to see Kerry watching her icily.

After the man was stabilised, Kerry and Susan left the trauma room ripping their gloves and their aprons off as they did so before tossing them into the trash.

They both started in the same direction, practically colliding, Kerry extending an arm to institute a satisfactory, colleague-appropriate space between them.

“Tough trauma.”

“Yeah, I s’pose…Hey, did I tell you that Susie went to see that film they’ve all been talking about, Shrek(?) the other day, oh my god I have not heard her be so excited about something in months, and the way she talked about the donkey in it you would think that the two were going out, but alas no. Apparently, he is indeed taken by a dragon as is so often the case with actually desirable men,” she ranted enthusiastically putting on a heightened English accent to emphasise the slander.

Kerry listened quietly as she felt Susan’s words dig into her further and further, she should be happier for her, she knew that, but everything was closing in on her and she didn’t like it.

They entered the Doctor’s Lounge and as soon as the door shut behind them and it was clear to Kerry that no one else was in there, she started, “Listen, I don’t wanna make a big deal outta it but I just wanted to let you know that it’s considered a little inappropriate to get distracted by pretty EMTs when working a trauma at least from a management perspective, now as it’s never happened before obviously it’s not a problem but just so you know for any future interactions that they should be left till after you’ve finished working on the patient.”

Susan’s smile failed immediately at the mini reprimand. “Kerry it was nothing I promise.”

“Uhuh – well even if that is the case it’s still inappropriate,” Kerry said pointing her nose in the air.

Kerry’s stiffness on the subject angered Susan who huffed before retorting, “And even if it WAS something I don’t think that’s any of your business, you know Kerry Weaver, not everything is about you I realise, ok, that you’re the only person in YOUR world but that’s not the same for the rest of us,” as she raised her voice, she stepped closer and closer to Kerry refusing to break eye contact for a second.

Kerry was frozen in place, her lip quivering slightly and her eyes conveying only a hint of pain and fear behind their broken shields.

They were practically toe-to-toe, and their proximity almost immediately caused Susan to calm down as if her body was anticipating Kerry’s touch, Kerry’s smell, Kerry’s warmth.

The electricity burning Kerry’s skin as her beloved towered over her, not knowing, never knowing, what those words meant to her. Why although dealing with hurtful comments was part of the job, was always part of the job, they felt different coming from her.

But as cupid’s taunting strings gradually lured them together, the door burst open loudly causing the women to practically jump out of their skin in order to create distance between them.

It was Chuny; “Doctor Weaver there’s a guy wandering around the admit desk I think he’s your patient, Mr. Reid?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute Chuny,” Kerry replied a little too shrilly, her eyes still fixed on Susan. She stayed there for a few more seconds before finally awakening in herself the willpower to sort out the wanderer.

As the last sounds of her crutch hitting the floor faded away into the dissonant noise of the ER Chuny joked, “Did you just have it from Weaver, I bet you didn’t miss those in Phoenix!” before closing the door and leaving.

But ‘missing Weaver’ was really the only thing Susan was able to do at that moment, she turned towards the window to wipe away a tear. Then, she shook herself from head to toe, set her face back to neutrality and spun around so she could go back to work.

Kerry stood alone, her arms restless as if they were missing something, or someone, her kitchen echoing with emptiness. As she stared half-heartedly at the risotto she was making she heard a buzz followed by three rapid knocks. Kerry pulled herself out of her reverie, grabbed her crutch and headed over to the front door.

Upon opening, she saw Susan shivering in a short tan trench coat, her arms wrapped around herself, her right foot tapping the ground beneath her. When she heard the click of the latch she lifted her head and the expression Kerry saw sent a shiver through her, Susan’s eyes were wide and deep inside them there seemed to be some sort of lingering discomfort.

“Hey,” she said shyly before pulling the door to and stepping out into the cold winter’s night also, “What are you doing here?”

“Um…I’m not sure to be honest,” was the esteemed reply.

“Aren’t you cold? Do you want t-”

“Kerry there’s something I have to say and if I don’t say it now, I don’t think I ever will so.”

“Uh…ok, um, go right ahead.”

“I’m so tired, of all this of going to back to the old normal, whatever the hell that was, you know I-” she broke off, her voice cracking slightly as her emotions started to get the better of her, “I thought I would be okay with just being friends but…All I can think of when I’m around you is how badly I want to kiss you and how I can’t do that anymore. And even when you’re mad and being a bitch, I just want to hold you because then I know everything’ll be all right.” And on those final words she broke down, it could have been the cold, it could have been the pressures of moving back to a town where no one really remembered her, but in that moment, it didn’t matter what the exact cause was because her Susan was upset and it yanked at her heartstrings.

The women stood there silently, Susan looking at the floor and Kerry looking at Susan, frozen in light of the revelation, trying to calculate what best to do. When Kerry still didn’t say anything, Susan raised her head once more to look at her and being met only with an unreadable, blank expression, she felt she could take a hint.

Not wanting to stand in the scene of her rejection any longer Susan said, “Goodnight,” in a dejected, barely audible voice before turning around and heading down the steps leading up to the house. And it was this that triggered Kerry’s ability to move once more.

“Wait!” she called out, as she reached her hand out for the banister and tried to rush down the stairs, but her hurriedness and the light frost worked against her and as Susan turned around Kerry practically tumbled into her arms.

And at this intimacy, there was only one thing left for them really, because love doesn’t require logical thinking, sometimes all it needs is an impulse.

Kerry pulled herself up muttering a word of thanks before running her hand through Susan’s hair and slowly, softly bringing her down for a kiss.

And as a thousand fireworks went off in their minds, they simultaneously knew that “they” would last forever.