#about how hormones affect the body and do I really know what I am doing

[cervinelich]

PSA FOR TRANSMASCS

And afab people in general. There's gonna be some TMI here so I apologize in advance.

So, I was using some nipple suction things for sex reasons when I noticed that a tiny bead of sticky fluid had come out of one of my nipples - and, firstly, you should always tell your doctor if you are having nipple discharge.

I told my doctor about it and she referred me to get a mammogram and breast ultrasound because this can be a sign of cancer or infection. It can also be caused by hormone irregularity (for instance, if you are on testosterone).

Due to a bunch of insurance shit I wasn't able to get in to my mammogram/ultrasound until 5 months after the initial discharge and in the meantime I was still using the nipple suction bc 1. I like it and 2. I kind of had a morbid curiosity about the discharge tbh.

Here's the MOST important part.

It wasn't until I spoke to the ultrasound technician 5 months later that she told me under no circumstances should I be intentionally expressing the discharge.

My results all came back negative and it turns out it was just hormonal, however my regular doctor had not told me that expressing the discharge opens up your mammary ducts to infection. The more they open, the more likely they are to get infected. And, according to the technician, it is not easily treated with antibiotics and is extremely painful - and sometimes requires surgery.

Unfortunately for me this means no more suction devices, rip, but since my doctor had neglected to tell me about this I thought it was worth spreading the word.

[emma-needs-attention]

I don’t shave every day. It’s not that I don’t “need” to; I have very dark, dense facial hair that grows quickly and remains pretty visible after shaving. When I do shave, I don’t try to cover it with makeup (beyond some powder to reduce redness). In most other ways I present very feminine, but I always have fairly obvious facial hair.

And it makes me feel terrible.

I started electrolysis a couple months ago. It’s excruciatingly painful, expensive, and it takes forever. In an hour-long session, my electrologist is able to remove hair in only a small region (about 1 square inch). A few weeks later, much of that hair comes back. I am told that it will take two to three years of regular treatments to remove it entirely. On top of that, I apparently have a condition called Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation, which causes the skin in affected areas to darken after treatment. For nearly two months after completing a single pass over my upper lip, my mustache was more visible than it had ever been, despite having significantly less hair.

And it made me feel terrible.

I know this is the best way for me to permanently remove my facial hair, but I just canceled all of my upcoming sessions and at the moment I have no plans to begin again.

If I could pay to have my facial hair instantly and completely removed I would empty my savings account. I am intensely aware of it any time I go out in public. If it makes me so uncomfortable, why do I not do more to hide it?

I feel incredibly privileged for a trans woman. I have a loving, supportive family. I have a well-paying job. I live in a very accepting area. I have never had a single person say anything negative to me about my gender identity, which was certainly not what I was expecting when I came out. It is important to me that I be visibly queer, and in my privileged position I am able to do that without fear. A year ago I didn’t think I would ever transition; now I want people to know that I’m trans.

I am disappointed with myself for wanting to remove my facial hair, for changing my voice. I am determined not to have to do more work than a cis person does. Cis women don’t have to shave their face every day. Cis men don’t have to shave their face every day. Why should I? This is who I am, what my body does. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? Am I not supposed to love myself the way I am?

But by that logic, why am I even transitioning in the first place?

I am doing more work than a cis person does. Cis people don’t transition, and transitioning takes effort. I know that there are cis people, both men and women, who do shave every day. Am I lying to myself? I’m a trans woman; aren’t I supposed to want to get rid of my facial hair? Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Doesn’t this give me dysphoria? Am I pretending not to have dysphoria so I don’t have to put in the effort? Does the fact that I’m not trying harder make me… I don’t know, less trans? Non-binary? Is it ok for me to call myself a trans woman? Am I lying to myself?

As a woman who was a man until thirty, there are things about my body that I must accept, that I won’t be able to change no matter how much money I dump into my transition. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, I have large hands. No amount of surgery or hormones will change these things.

But there are many things that I can change, and while none of them are requirements for being a woman, they may still be changes that I want to make. Where do I stop? Am I finished transitioning when I’ve done everything that is physically possible? My goal isn’t to “pass,” at least not in the way that word is generally used. In a time when cis women are being assaulted because people think they’re trans—because they don’t “pass” as women—the idea of what it means to pass becomes blurry. Often when we say that we want to pass, what we really mean is that we want to be conventionally beautiful.

I am a woman. Therefore, I look like a woman. My transition goal is to pass as myself. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am so I can look like her. I don’t care whether people see me and think “that’s a woman.” I want to be able to look in the mirror and think “that’s me.” But it can be extremely difficult to separate your own image of yourself from society’s idea of what you should look like. Am I self-conscious about the size of my body because it doesn’t feel like me, or because I’ve been told that women should be smaller? There are tall cis women, there are broad-shouldered cis women, there are cis women with large hands. Those traits don’t make them less womanly.

For the aspects of my body that I do have control over, I am stuck wondering whether I am changing things to become myself, or changing them because I have internalized that the way I am is wrong. At the moment, facial feminization surgery is something that I think I might like to do. But how do I know that I want to do it for the right reasons? I don’t hate my face, but when I catch a glimpse of myself from certain angles I can’t help but think that it isn’t feminine enough. What I should be asking is if it’s Emma enough, but how can I know that? How do I know who I’m supposed to be?

I feel like I was supposed to be a cis woman, but… why? Who am I to say that I wasn’t supposed to be trans? That I wasn’t supposed to transition at thirty, to have both a male puberty and a female one? Being trans has made me more self-aware, more open-minded, more empathetic. The totality of my experience is what makes me who I am. Maybe there’s a world in which I was assigned female, maybe there’s a world in which I was put on puberty blockers as a kid. But the girl in those worlds isn’t me.

Loving yourself and wanting to change are two feelings that can coexist. I tend to think of body positivity as simply accepting yourself as you are, but it is more nuanced than that. As a trans person, who I am inside is not the same as who I am outside. Which one am I supposed to love? I do love myself, but I also love who I could be. I’m transitioning so that someday they’ll be the same person.

Over the past year I have become both my biggest supporter and my biggest critic. I constantly tell myself how pretty I am, how brave I am, how fucking cool I am (hey, nobody else is saying it and it’s true). This forced positivity has been fantastic for me. I can confidently say that I truly love myself for the first time in my life. But I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t love myself more.

I can’t help but stare at myself in the mirror all the time now. I actually bought a new mirror so I didn’t have to walk as far to do so. I’ve taken more selfies than I did in my entire pre-transition life. After many months on HRT, I finally see myself in my reflection. But my eyes refuse to focus on my stubble. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “I’m going be so beautiful once I get rid of this facial hair,” and it feels like a betrayal. Fuck you Emma, I’m already gorgeous.

[thatfeyboy]

I need to know why it makes people so unreasonably upset to suggest that some dysphoric trans people probably should be considered intersex. Do you just. Hate trans people? Or is it because anything that makes trans physical isn't allowed?

It has been stated many many times that not all trans people have dysphoria, and not all trans people that do experience the same dysphoria. It has been harped on that gender is social and about presentation and isn't binary. Fine. But somehow when I or people like me talk about having physical and immutable dysphoria that doesn't stem from social means it's not ok. When I bring up that yes, some parts of the brain control your hormones and gonads, and yes, some parts recognize what you are and should look like, im treated like a fucking gender critical.

Why is it wrong to say that parts of the brain do in fact qualify as sex related because that's what they are for? If they dont physically square with the binary(naturally, not through intervention) then that person is not binary/intersex in their physical disposition by definition. It's not exactly a hard concept to grasp.

And because I have to, no, most aspects of the brain are not related to our bimodal sex system. There can in fact be gender/sex nuance in certain parts of the brain without claiming male and female type brains exist as a whole. Fear of some shitty crack pot idea should not prevent people from understanding scientific inquiry and research.

Being intersex does not make the trans experience more or less valid/real. But I'm tired of pretending I'm a man for reasons that absolutely don't apply to me. Nothing about my being trans has anything to do with how I want to socially be, aside as an extension of others viewing my body as I wish it to be. If there is really room in the community for all of us, then my saying that some of our experience is different shouldn't be a problem.

EDIT: Thank you for some of your responses. I would like to amend my statement slightly. When I mentioned intersex I was more trying to imply, as I lacked a better word, that it is clear some if not most trans people that experience dysphoria have a physical developmental reason for that, likely epigenetic, genetic, and pre natal conditions. This type of sense is in most people, including cis people, hence why you cannot train someone to be a gender they aren't(no desistance of gender identity in both cis and trans people regardless of treatment). If intersex is to be interpreted as things exclusively affecting external or internal primary sex traits(as to be read, physically involved in the act of procreation) that are only ever natal, then I am ok in accepting intersex is not the best fit(except for that PCOS study but not super relevant rn).

That being said, I do still believe it is a part of sex and sex/gender development and that it is a physical condition(most anatomy based dysphoria). I don't see why it being a part of sex and sex development is a problem, when it has no other answer that satisfies our actual understanding of the condition and those peoples experience. Anything based on socialization has been disproven time and time again, so when are we going to stop acting like this

[quitealotofsodapop]

Now I'm imagining a courtnapping sequence with Wukong and Macaque. Like... for soem reason I get the feeling it'd be Wukong who gets kidnapped in one of these? Tbw Great Sage Equal to Heaven would be a very tempting potential mate and it's not like her and Macaque were very public before.

Well. It's about to become VERY public when a very young Macaque goes full jaiju for the first time in an attempt to save Wukong and reverse courtnapping him. The reason Wukong couldn't fight back was because he was young, arrogant, and drugged. This was during the Journey, but Wukong doesn't remember it happening due to the fact he was knocked out for the majority of the time.

Years later, DBK tells the story to a very embarrassed MK who throught the way he acted when Redson was taken was unbecoming of the Monkey King's successor. He'd heard it from Tieshan, who heard it from Macaque.

Prev.

When MK finally snaps out of his feral state, he's apologetic af. He comes to in his apartment, his whole sleeping area turned into a makeshift nest, and wrapped around Red Son like he's a body pillow.

MK, nearly jumping to his feet: "OHMYGOSH! RED SON, I AM SO SORRY!!!" Red Son, chilling: "What for?" MK: "Didn't I like-!? Demon kidnap you!?" Red Son: "Yes, and you reverse-courtnapped me from that despicable mara. You have my gratitude... and my unending loyalty." MK, not understanding: "Wut?" Red Son, disappointed sigh: "You don't even know what courtnapping even means do you?" MK, quickly hides phone: "Maaaaybe... maybe I knew about it, and sorta forgot when I thought that guy was gonna hurt you...?" Red Son, moves to get out of bed: "I should have know..." MK: "Does this mean we're like, dating and stuff? Cus Pigsy says Tang did this to himself before they got married." Red Son: (*chokes on air, flames briefly flicker pink*)

Even if MK seems to be oblivious to the situation... it's more that he's genuinely happy but unsure if Red even thinks of him "that way". He doesnt want to rock the boat, especially in case Red is only sticking around cus of the Egg.

Mei, look of disbelief: "You're having a baby together, bro." MK, drinking cheese tea: "Yeah. But like, as friends." Mei: (*looks at her livestream audience like she's on The Office*)

MK of course apologises to DBK and PIF; bringing Wukong to vouch for him. The Monkie Kid is disappointed in himself for losing his self-control in that moment, pregnancy hormones or not. But all the adults look... amused?

DBK, fond chuckle: "This all reminds me of a certain sneaky simian, who rushed to reclaim what he thought was rightfully his King." PIF, smiling with a hum: "A simian who nearly stopped the Pilgrims' Journey in its tracks because he believed they were keeping his mate from him." MK: "Wait. Do you mean-?" Macaque, popping out of the shadows: "I know you ain't gossiping about me, sis!"

The demon bull couple proceed to dunk on Macaque for the next hour; regaling MK and Red Son with stories of how often Macaque would fly off the handle at any perceived rivals for Wukong's affections.

Turns out MK isn't the most possessive of the monkeys! XD

Wukong: "How come I don't remember that story?" PIF: "I'm not surprised. Your suitor had drugged you. It was during your Journey, and though you were not on best of terms; Macaque felt it necessary to save you from a dishonourable courtnapping. I assumed he already told you." Wukong, amazed: "Really, plums?" Macaque, blushing and hiding face in scarf: "Is' no big deal." DBK, bellowing laughter: "HAHA! No big deal?! You transformed into your Smoke-giant form and tore that demon to shreds! I'm surprised that you had the sense to return him to his Pilgrim brethren afterwards." (*Macaque sinks deeper into scarf as DBK and PIF laugh. Wukong smiles at him with a newfound appreciation. MK feels a little offended hearing that his actions reminded them all of Macaque.*)

Note: if a similar courtnapping of Wukong were to occur in the modern day; Macaque would still show the same level of ferocity. He'd just have backup in the form of adoptive-cub MK wanting his mentor back.

Pigsy can't say anything about how MK busted out his Kaiju-form out of jealousy. Lets just say a certain scholar got hit-on at a bar once, and they came face-to-face with a giant snorting boar demon glaring them down. Tang brags about the incident to this day. ("It was hot.")

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Idk if you’ve done pregnant grumpy!reader x sunshine!steve yet buuuut Steve trying to make reader feel better bc she’s getting supper irritated at him super quickly

You were everything you hated being.

Too hot, too tired, too hungry, too bloated. Your body was changing and becoming more uncomfortable, five months pregnant and growing by the day. It didn’t help that it was summer in Indiana, a heatwave that you knew would eventually come, but you still weren’t prepared for the heat - especially now your swimming suit didn’t fit.

“Honey?” Steve’s tone was soft and cajoling, his expression wary as he approached with a bowl of watermelon cubes as an offering.

You’d been snappy all day, unfairly so considering the boy hadn’t done anything to deserve it, apart from helping to put you in your current state. You’d had a lot of fun trying and you’d cried tears of absolute joy in Steve’s lap at the sight of those two pink lines, but your feet were swollen and your tummy poked out the top of your shorts.

You ignored the fruit, slouching further into the couch instead, your expression morose. “I look like Winnie the Pooh,” you cried woefully. You prodded gently at your round tummy, your belly button that stuck out more than ever. “Look at it.”

Steve tried to hide his grin, a cough covering his laugh and a fist over his mouth. You glared at him on warning as he dropped to the floor beside the sofa, placing the bowl in your lap and a warm hand on your thigh.

“I am,” he told you, palm travelling up and over to cup the top of your bump, his eyes turning soft as he gazed at it. He leaned in to nudge his nose against your tummy. “I look at it every day, y’know.”

Normally such sweetness would be rewarded with a kiss or some kind of other affection, but your skin was sticky with sweat and after specifically asking for watermelon, baby had decided she really didn’t want it anymore. Your eyes watered and you sniffed, bottom lip trembling.

“Uh-oh,” Steve said easily, not as panicked by your tears as he used to be. The hormones had turned you into a human fountain, for any and all emotion. “What’s the damage? A kick to the ribs? Sore feet? A burst pipe?” Steve cradled your belly with two big hands and he peered at it accusingly. “What’re you doing to your mom, you gremlin?”

You laughed unexpectedly, a watery hiccuping that made Steve beam at you. You dashed away the tears at your lash line and snugged again, simultaneously feeling better and stupid. “She’s not a gremlin,” you protested, “she’s just making me turn crazy.” You brought a hand to your boyfriends cheek, day old stubble scratching at your palm and you rubbed a thumb over his jaw adoringly.

“You’re not crazy,” Steve insisted softly. “You’re pregnant, honey.”

You smiled, still a little watery. “Isn’t it the same thing?”

Steve huffed out a laugh and turned his head to kiss your hand. “Maybe,” he conceded. Another kiss, this time on the inside of your wrist. “You okay?”

You nodded, suddenly exhausted. You let your shoulders droop, your head falling back into the couch cushions as the heat of the afternoon settled into a sticky warmth over your skin. “Tired,” you said and Steve knew that, could hear you getting up and down through then night to pee, then in the kitchen for more water, a vicious cycle. “But m’too warm, just uncomfortable.”

Steve pouted sympathetically, hands travelling down your sides, over your hips, squeezing affectionately. His touch made your lashes flutter.

“I’m sorry,” you added, your voice small and soft. You looked like you were about to cry again. “Didn’t mean to be a bitch.”

Steve tutted away your apology, leaning carefully over your belly to kiss your lips, one peck that turned onto two, three, until he was pressing his mouth to your cheeks, your nose, your chin. “Don’t gotta apologise, baby, I know it’s hard.” He hummed against you, one lazy, slow last kiss that felt like the summer heatwave. “How ‘bout a cool shower, then a movie? I’ll let you use me as a pillow.”

You closed your eyes in bliss at the suggestion, nodding gratefully. When you opened them again, Steve was holding a piece of watermelon for you, brows raised.

You made a face, feeling awfully guilty even as your stomach turned over in protest. “Baby decided we don’t want watermelon anymore.”

Steve gasped, overly dramatic. “God, she really is a gremlin—”

“Steven.”

“What?” The boy grinned before he popped a cube of fruit into his mouth. “You’re lucky I like watermelon,” he tried to sound mean about it, but he failed miserably when he leaned back over to smack a kiss to your cheek. “And you… and you,” he conceded, one final kiss to the top of your bump.

[genderqueerdykes]

I really really appreciate the posts about fat acceptance and stuff. I used to be pretty underweight but I've definitely gained weight (and muscle too I'm sure) on HRT, the way it sits/distrubuted on me is something that is hard to see sometimes and there's a lot of parental commentary about fat people that needs to be worked on.

hey, you're welcome! i'm glad you agree

gaining weight isn't always bad, in fact for many people, it can be an outright blessing. people can have a wide variety of conditions that can lead them to being chronically underweight, and putting on even a few pounds was seen as a huge accomplishment and a safety net. my best friend is this way

even if it's not required for one's health, putting on weight isn't inherently bad. every person's body has a range in which it attempts to naturally sit for their baseline weight. this will vary greatly from person to person based off of activity levels, hormone levels, genetics, individual dietary needs vs. dietary intake, digestive issues, eating disorders, allergies, food intolerance, neurodivergence, developmental disorders, and more.

the way i see it is it becomes very obvious to a person when their weight has actually come to negatively affect them. this will be marked in a decline in energy, feeling fatigued and malaise most of the time, headaches, difficulty getting out of bed, increased chronic pain including pain while standing or walking, breathing difficulties, difficulty walking/moving long distances for reasons not due to joint or connective tissue health, becoming pre/diabetic suddenly if one was not before, and/or other health complications that were not present before the amount of weight was gained

most fat, chubby, etc. people are sitting well within the healthy range for their body without realizing it. our bodies are great at telling us what they need it's just hard to listen when we're busy, exhausted, and/or neurodivergent. many people have a good idea of what their body needs but get talked or shamed out of doing what's right for them. parents, like you said, are especially uptight and strict about weight for seemingly no reason.

i've always been fat my whole life. once i reached my teen years i began to hover around the 300 lb range and that's where i've always been. my mom was fat and so was my dad, and both of their families. my mom projected so much of her fatphobia on to me it was unreal. she would critcize me any time i wanted a snack by asking "you're eating again?" and other dumb shit. children are growing and active, they need a lot of food, especially for good brain function (yes, our brains need fuel, revolutionary concept, i know)

i don't understand why parents desperately NEED their children to be physically attractive to them. can we talk about this? i know it's uncomfortable but this is a huge parental issue. i am SO tired of hearing parents go ON AND ON about how "beautiful" or "handsome" their children are. it's extremely creepy, there's no reason to focus on their appearance like that. some parents become SO distressed when their children are not conventionally attractive, as if it makes them less attractive by proxy. it's insanely creepy. a child's conventional beauty or lack there of should be of no concern to a parent- why do some parents obsess over this? it gives the child severe body image issues and it's not a good level of vanity to project on to a kid

anyway, it's okay to be fat, especially if you find you're not struggling with pain or mobility. some people will have pain and mobility issues no matter what weight they're at. everyone's different. someone's weight is their own concern and nobody else's, unless there is medical significance in which case it is between them and their medical team. not every fat person has health issues due to their weight, in fact, most do not. it's okay to let your body be the weight it wants to be

nobody should have to constantly feel like they have to be fighting their own biology just to look "more attractive". people are attractive when they look the most like their real, natural selves. it's way more flattering and it's better for the individual. don't expect other people to go through hell just to look "good". just let people be themselves. let people feel good, and feel good about themselves. worry about yourselves when it comes to appearance

anyway, thank you for the feedback, i really appreciate it! i will always be here for other fat folk because i've gone through many interesting situations with diet and health and my weight always sits around the 300 mark give or take 20 lbs in either direction. my lowest weight as an adult was 260 lbs. my highest was 360. muscle tissue plays a huge factor in this right now for me. i have clothes in my closet that range from literally Small all the way up to XXXL and they all fit me just fine. weight isn't as big of a deal as people think it is, it's a very neutral thing most of the time

[rambosgirl]

I love your writing and you portray Rambo so well ty for all the content of him I am starving 💕💕💕🤝

If you want could I get hcs of John comforting reader on her period or how he'd deal with comforting her crying or hurt in general? Thank you sm I hope you have a nice day!! ❤🥺

Yesss I love this request! And thank you so much for the kind words and the support <333

this is just headcanons, if you want a full fic, let me know

Masterlist

John Rambo comforting you on your period HCs:

First off, John hates seeing you hurting, whether you're experiencing cramps or just stubbed your toe

He's seen too many people he cares about in pain, so it really does affect him and he wishes he could take your pain away more than anything

Speaking of pain, he knows it well and probably has a lot of training and experience with coping mechanisms for physical pain. He would probably teach you some when the body aches and cramps get really bad

But if we're being real here, he probably wouldn't know much about it at first, being around mostly men for so long. He knows the basics, but stuff like hormone levels and why you start crying out of nowhere is beyond him

But he's a fast learner if you take the time to tell him about it

He also learns how to comfort you in the way you want pretty quickly

You want snacks?? He's going to the grocery store and getting you your favorites. You want cuddles and a movie? He's a little stiff with cuddles at first but he's trying ok?? Want to use his hand as a heating pad? His answer is YES because he's a walking furnace and he knows it.

he WILL draw you a bath if you want it, he doesn't know what the candles and flower petals do, but it seems to make you happy, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One of his love languages is 100% acts of service - he just loves doing domestic things for you <3

So he's really good about comforting you with the physical aspect of the WORST time of the month but with the emotional side? He just has less practice with that

because why are you crying again?

what do you mean you don't know?

He eventually just goes with it (he secretly finds it cute - not that you're feeling bad, just the way you look up at him when you admit you have no idea why you're sobbing)

Your brain and body works so differently than his, he actually finds it so interesting and beautiful, and he reminds you of this all the time

He definitely holds you when you cry and runs his hands through your hair, which is SUPER relaxing.

He takes your mood swings so well, he knows it's not anyone's fault (probably) it's just the hormones doing their thing

He's so respectful about it too - if you say you want company, he'll stay with you, if you say you want to be left alone, he'll leave you be, but he'll stay close enough so if you need anything from him he can help you

always reminds you that the pain will pass, he loves you, and that you are so so strong and you can make it through

[qin-qin16]

[CW: mention of animal bodies, dead animals, cannibalism, fanon Killer Sans]

Alright! Since many people liked the idea of ​​Hyena coded Killer, I decided to bring some characteristics of these beautiful animals so you can see why so many people like to compare Killer with these creatures.

NOTE: I will comment on some of his canonical details, as well as characteristics that the fandom attributes to him, that is, we will have both fanon and canon Killer here!

First of all, what are hyenas? Hyenas are carnivorous animals from the family Hyaenidae (and during this research, I discovered that hyenas are more similar to felines than dogs, so no, they don't have much in common with dogs or wolves!) that inhabit the African continent and western Asia. They are nocturnal animals, but they can function well during the day as well, and they hunt and live in large groups.

After this brief synopsis, I will now report some characteristics of these curious animals that I, personally, find similar and related to Killer Sans!

Hyenas are very intelligent animals - even with the negative stereotypes surrounding them - and are considered one of the most successful animals in hunting! In addition, they have a very complex social relationship with each other, respecting hierarchies and the leader of their respective packs.

In this excerpt, I can already relate this intelligence to Killer, mainly because many people think that, in fact, he is just a charming, idiotic little guy - but, just like hyenas, he is extremely smart and cautious. About the hierarchy part, I have a divided opinion: in some arts of the creator of Killer, we can see him with Nightmare, but it's not like he respects Nightmare as a leader, but rather as if he fears him or has a certain dislike for him, but also has nowhere to go, so he prefers to stay under Nightmare's "care", acting with false respect so as not to be mistreated so much (?).

Hyenas are scavengers! They can eat animals that are still alive or recently killed, but they are best known for feeding on remains (even bones). And, as mentioned before, they are very successful in their hunts, but unfortunately, these kills are mostly stolen by lionesses - which forces them to keep the remains.

I've already discussed a few times the possibility that Killer has already submitted to cannibalism purely out of curiosity, so it wouldn't be surprising to see him hunting monsters just to devour them (humans too, since Howl brought up a headcanon (I don't know if it was really or if it's something canon) about how Killer doesn't see himself as either a monster or a human with the merging of Chara's soul with his). And I also think that Killer has already tested eating at various stages of body composition.

Due to the high levels of male hormones (such as testosterone), hyenas are also very aggressive animals, which results in many deaths of young hyenas among themselves.

Here I am already relating this characteristic more to the instability between the stages of Killer - like the apathetic change from the second stage to the third, which enters into a kind of aggressive frenzy. I believe that not only triggers in interactions or gestures (such as eating or sleeping), but also smells and Killer's own body are affected by this aggression.

One fact that characterized hyenas as intelligent animals is their complex sociability as a group!

Okay, here comes the fanon part: In many Bad Guy fanfics, headcanons and fanarts, Killer is always treated as the best in social interactions, or the one who breaks up fights and the one who tends to “respect” the certain hierarchy he has in the group. Like hyenas, he has an easier time interacting with others, whether to create emotional bonds or mediate conflicts.

A pack of hyenas can have up to 40 members!

So... Do you know how they like to put Killer in different groups? Well, there's the explanation! His place with the Bad Guys, his partnership with Epic Sanses (more because of Color), his rare appearance with the Star Sanses (more with Ink and Swap). As aggressive as Killer is, he also likes to live in large groups, so he needs to rotate between them to satisfy this social need of his.

Now, some ideas that were taken from the depths of my head and that I won't explain much about:

Many people write/draw Nightmare as a trans woman, so Hyena coded Killer would make much more sense, since in the hyena monarchy, the females lead the pack! And they mostly have more power and decision-making in the groups, in addition to being larger than the males.

The sound that the hyenas can reproduce seems to be a strange laugh. There's not much to comment on, except that I imagine that Killer laughs exactly like that.

Hyenas don't usually lick themselves for better hygiene. Yep. Stinky Killer confirmed!

Now here's a touch of mine: I can see Killer being quite aggressive with his displays of affection, biting, pushing and play fighting, as well as enjoying chasing his friends, pretending they are some kind of prey.

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed it! I accept constructive criticism and more ideas for this headcanon that so many were waiting for!

Tagging people who would like to see about Hyena coded Killer (I guess???)

@howlsofbloodhounds @what-have-i-unleashed @toffeebrew @twinribbonz

[paranormaljones]

okay so in the interest of this being the tmi website i'm gonna go ahead and say that the effects of ovulation on women really, really need to be talked about more. so expect some major tmi. sorry but also im not sorry because there is much about ovulation that i wish i had known when i was younger. so if you don't wanna get super intimate super quickly with how my body works, you might wanna skip this one.

pretty much everyone has at least a basic idea of what menstruation entails but it seems like, for the most part, the only knowledge the general public seems to have regarding ovulation is "haha woman horny".

and i mean. that is definitely an aspect of it for a lot of women. that's what the hormones do. but there's SO MUCH MORE.

i'm just gonna talk about this in reference to my own personal experiences. i don't have the scientific knowledge to explain the "why" behind a lot of it, it's just what i experience.

first off: ovulation cramps. they are painfully real. they don't last anywhere near as long as menstruation cramps but for me at least, they are often more intense. they are a more sudden, knife-like pain and they happen in a very specific place in my lower back and down there. they usually only last for a day, but sometimes they're on and off for a couple days.

second: emotional upheaval. you know the memes about shrimp colors? that's what ovulation emotions feel like to me. shrimp emotions. a lot of women experience feeling irritable or super emotional on their periods, and i am definitely one of them. but the majority of the time, my emotions are even more affected by ovulation than menstruation. it's intense. when i'm on my period, the emotions usually manifest as major rejection sensitivity. when i'm ovulating, they most often manifest as grief, but also a myriad of other things. i'm usually a lot more sensitive to the media i consume, and a lot of times this hyper-awareness of my own feelings can be a blessing. depending on where i'm at in my cycle, i often experience a few days of hyper-creativity. being connected and understanding of my hormonal/emotional state helps me to also be more in tune with my creative tendencies. and with ovulation, i'm not distracted by the other symptoms that accompany it (except for the cramps) like i am with menstruation.

thirdly, the one everyone knows about: haha woman horny. ehhhhh . . . for me personally, not really. occasionally, but nowhere near every cycle. that might change when i'm no longer single, but for now it's just not a big deal. the way these hormones affect us vary wildly for every woman and that's normal. if we're being completely honest, i often feel ✨that way✨ more often when i'm on my period than during ovulation.

which. damn. that's gonna be inconvenient.

but anyways, i have a feeling that that has something to do with the fact that a lot of people also desire sex when they're grieving. it's a desire for intimacy in the midst of pain. it sounds weird on the surface, but it makes sense when you think about it.

so yeah. those are my main experiences during ovulation. hopefully this gave you some more understanding on what to possibly expect during ovulation, or an explanation of why you feel how you do during a "random" time of the month that isn't your period.

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi! I love your blog. I wanted to know your opinions on hookup culture. Do you believe there’s harm in it? Do you believe it is an unhealthy thing to pursue when you aren’t looking for anything?

This is such a hot topic and I see a lot of opinions on this. I will not tell you what to do with your life, but I will offer you a perspective that I think will be very valuable in your decision.

Sex biologically affects women differently than it does men. It affects your hormones and your body will actually think you're in love for weeks/months.

Make sure you really aren't looking for anything, because I know some women say that and deep down they are longing for an actual connection. In which case, why would you put yourself in a position to hurt yourself emotionally?

Which leads me to three, do you really want all these men to say they slept with you? You are the prize and need to allow yourself to be treated as such. Remember, sex to men is just sex. They will sleep with anyone and anything. Yes, some women too- I know. But goes back to how it actually does affect your body differently and how society perceives gender roles and decades of generational conditioning thats engrained in our psyche. Does xyz person deserve to sleep with you? Or are you just aware they aren't but want to anyway? Do what you want, but always keep that in mind.

How we do anything is how we do everything. Sexual discipline can be a very powerful tool, especially for a woman. We should be able to have emotional discipline and not be controlled by our urges. That is basically same as being controlled by our emotions. I have said this about men and same for women, not being able to control our sexual urges is a weakness. Not saying you can't have them or indulge, but some people really lack self control. (if you have an actual medical condition, I am not referring to you)

Most women (I think its over 70%) never orgasm in their life. A lot of men aren't good in bed (which is hard to decipher when you are in your early 20s and have raging hormones) and sexual compatibility is tricky to find the older you get. So invest wisely.

There is also an aspect of why we sleep with people aside from urges that revolves around personal validation. One thing I will say if this is your case, is there is no validation or positive effect on your self worth for doing this. On the contrary. I know it may feel good at the moment, but thats as far as it goes.

So in short please remember that you are the prize. Women are very powerful and have a strong influence on men when they know how to use their power.

[lucy90712]

I’ll be there for you- Pablo Gavi

A/n: this is a long one- 4.1k

Warnings: pregnancy; mentions of birth 

I don't quite know how it happened as it all happened so quickly but my life just fell apart right in front of my eyes. Today has been such a rollercoaster of emotions I've gone from anxious to crying to angry then back to crying and now I just feel absolutely nothing. I've heard of people saying that you can just feel numb but I've never experienced it until today and what they say couldn't be more true I just feel nothing it's like I don't have the energy to feel anymore. 

For the last week or so I haven't been feeling great and I could just tell something wasn't right but my fears were confirmed when my period was a few days late. I really didn't want to take a test as then it would become real but I knew I had to so this morning I went and got one without telling anyone. Of course when I had the courage to take the test it showed two clear lines meaning I really am pregnant. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears flowing down my face as there was so many thoughts flooding through my mind like what will my boyfriend think, how will this affect my studying and how am I going to cope with a baby. Growing up an only child means I've not had much experience with babies and I don't know much past the basics about pregnancy which makes all of this a whole lot scarier. 

For the next few hours I was so in my own world that I didn't even realise the time until my boyfriend came home and I knew I had to tell him straight away just to get that out of my head. We have been together for a few years and have talked about having kids in the future but not yet so I know he won't be overly happy but hopefully he will see that something out there believes this is the right time for us. I wanted a minute to think of the right thing to say to him but he noticed that there was something up straight away. I tried to brush it off for a second but he was persistent in trying to get the truth out of me. 

"I'm pregnant" I eventually said 

"What?" He questioned 

"I'm pregnant" I repeated

"Oh" he said bluntly 

"I don't think I can do this I'm not ready for a family and I feel like I haven't been as into this relationship recently anyway" he said 

"Wait so you're leaving me?" I asked 

"Yeah I'm sorry I just can't do it I don't care what you do but I don't want to be part of all this like at all" he said before just walking out 

With that everything got a whole lot worse. As if things weren't challenging enough I now have to do it all alone. In that moment I began cursing my decision to move to Barcelona away from my family and friends to follow my boyfriend and start school as now I have no support system and I definitely don't have the money to move back home. Most of my friends out here are from my boyfriends friend group as he introduced me to them when I moved here so even those people probably won't be here for me. Even thinking about having to do this all alone had me balling as not only is this a tough situation I also have a lot of hormones raging through my body making me even more emotional than usual. 

As I was nearly drowning in my own tears my phone began to ring so I grabbed it hoping it would be my now ex boyfriend telling me he regrets his decision and actually wants to stay together. That wasn't the case though it was actually my one friend who isn't associated with my ex, Gavi. He doesn't usually phone me at all let alone at this time so I felt like I had to answer just in case he needed something or something was wrong as despite my disastrous situation other people's lives still go on. I tried to sound like I hadn't been crying and asked him if everything was alright but he noticed something was wrong straight away and told me he was coming over before hanging up. 

It wasn't long before Pablo arrived and came straight into my apartment calling for me but I couldn't bring myself to get up from my position on the floor by the sofa. Once Pablo saw me he practically ran over and sat down next to me putting his arm around me to try and provide some comfort. For some reason having him by my side made me even more emotional and the tears began to flow again. Pablo then held me closer allowing me to cry into his chest which was just what I needed, he was there for me, he wasn't saying much he just provided some comfort which is all I want. He rubbed my back gently until I managed to gain control of my emotions enough to finally look at Pablo whose eyes were full of worry. 

"Whenever you're ready please tell me what's going on" Pablo said 

"It's a lot" I said 

"That doesn't matter clearly you need to get whatever this is off your chest and I'm here to listen" he said 

"I'm pregnant and y/bf/n left me saying he wants nothing to do with the baby" I finally admitted 

"Wow what an asshole" Pablo whispered under his breath 

"Are you ok how are you feeling?" He asked 

"Right now I just feel numb I don't know what to do it's all just a lot to think about" I ranted 

"Its ok I'm here for you why don't we just talk everything through" he said 

After that I took a deep breath and Pablo who is usually always messing around and having fun was actually serious for once and ready to help me. He allowed me to say everything that was on my mind and bit by bit we began to figure things out. Pablo promised me that he would do everything he could to help me and even insisted that I move in with him as this apartment isn't mine. I didn't want to have to move in with Pablo but he keep insisting that I need support and to have someone around and eventually I gave in and agreed with him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later 

It's been a long hard few months. For pretty much my entire first trimester I spent the majority of my time laying on the sofa feeling exhausted and incredibly sick. However now that I'm approaching the halfway mark I have finally started to feel better and have been able to do a bit more. Pablo has been a godsend during all of this he's taken me to all of my appointments and done everything he possibly can to make me feel even a little bit better. On my really bad days he will spend as long as necessary sat holding my hair and rubbing my back as I throw up and when I'm tired during the day he will let me rest my head on his shoulder so I can nap. As much as those things have been nice the thing I appreciate the most is how he's been there for me mentally. When I moved in with Pablo I completely cut off my ex and anyone to do with him which was hard as it left me feeling pretty lonely but Pablo has been my rock as he's been able to help me see the positives of the situation and the right way to move forward.

Today is my 20 week scan where I should be able to find out the gender of the baby. Pablo begged me to make the scan for after his training as really wanted to be there. He's been to as many scans and appointments as he possible can but he missed the last few due to being away but he really wanted to find out the gender with me. Of course I had to oblige and make the appointment at a later time so Pablo is coming back straight after training to pick me up. Having Pablo at appointments has been nice as it makes everything slightly less daunting plus while I'm stressing he's able to actually listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. The only downside is that all of the staff think Pablo is my boyfriend and the father of the baby and neither of us are brave enough to correct them as we don't want to have to explain the situation plus I would rather not have the judgment. 

There are worse things than having people believe that Pablo's my boyfriend but it has certainly messed with my head. Since everything happened I've started to see Pablo in a new light and my feelings have drifted to beyond just friends. It's all very complicated as I can't tell whether my hormones have anything to do with my feelings plus I can't risk telling Pablo how I feel in case he doesn't feel the same and kicks me out as then I'd be truly alone. Day by day it's getting harder to keep my feelings to myself especially on days like today where Pablo is so excited to go with me to the appointment even though the baby isn't his. Pablo has treated me and the baby as though we are his the entire time which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I so badly wish that that was true but he's not mine no matter how much I think about it nothing will happen as Pablo doesn't need anything else on his plate right now. 

Just as I was starting to spiral into my little dreamworld Pablo came home and helped me up as I'm starting to struggle a bit so we could head to the doctors together. Recently my bump has really started to grow making it a lot more obvious that I'm pregnant which has made me a bit insecure as I always think people are judging me when I'm in the streets. As we got in the car like always the baby started kicking like crazy so before we left I grabbed Pablo's hand and placed it on my stomach so he could feel the kicks as he mentioned how weird it must feel the other day so I wanted him to experience it. 

"Wow that's so cool can you feel that all the time?" He asked 

"Not all the time but it's been getting stronger recently and baby's always really active in the car and when I want to sleep" I said 

"Aww so you like to keep your mama up at night already do you little one" he said to my stomach and I think I nearly exploded from the cuteness 

"Oh yeah getting me ready for the months of no sleep soon" I laughed 

Pablo laughed too as he started to drive towards the hospital but he kept his hand on my bump rubbing it gently which made the baby go crazy and had me feeling all sorts of things. I could tell that my cheeks were bright red and my heart was beating at a million miles an hour just because he had his hand on me. Having his hand on me made the car ride feel a million times longer but eventually we arrived at the hospital and I could begin to calm myself down so that the nurses didn't think I was dying or something. 

The wait for my appointment wasn't too long so before I knew it I had the freezing cold gel on my stomach and the nurse was checking the babies development to make sure they are growing as they should be. Once the nurse had done all of the important checks she asked if I wanted to know the gender to which I obviously said yes. As I responded Pablo grabbed my hand which made me look over to see that he had the biggest smile on his face as he was so excited to find out what I was having. Looking at him only made me smile as his smile was that infectious and it made all the nerves I was feeling about being able to be a good mother disappear in an instant. Right after that the nurse happily told us that I was having a girl and we were both super happy but confused as we were sure it was a boy but clearly we were both wrong. 

"Thats so exciting a little mini you" Pablo said once the nurse left 

"I know I'm surprised I was sure it was a boy" I said 

"Me too but you know now we have to go and buy loads of cute clothes and decorations for the nursery" Pablo said 

"I'd love to but I don't have the money to buy loads of things" I admitted 

"Don't you worry about that I'm happy to pay for everything and before you say anything I want to do this" he said as we were now getting back in the car 

"I can't let you do that Pablo as much as I appreciate it you shouldn't spend your money on a baby that's not yours" I said 

"But I want to plus I can't help but feel an attachment to the baby even if she's not genetically mine I already can't wait to meet her when she's born" Pablo admitted 

"Thats so cute your going to make me cry" I choked out

"Please don't cry I love you and your little baby" Pablo was quick to say

"Wait I don't mean I love you oh who am I kidding I definitely love you and I get that nows probably not the best time to admit that but it's time I told you how I really feel" he said 

"I love you too Pablo but if we are going to try this we need to take it slow" I said 

"We can do whatever you want I just want to give this a go" he said 

~~~~~~~~~~

Another few months later 

The second half of my pregnancy has been so much better than my first Pablo and I started dating taking things slowly of course but I've never been happier in my entire life than I have been the last few months. Pablo has been so good to me I thought he was super sweet before but now he is an angel he literally waits on me hand and foot and does anything he can for me to make my life easier. Everyday when he comes home he takes over and does the chores even though I tell him I'm fine to do it and then every night he gives me a massage as I'm at the stage of pregnancy where everything hurts. He has also single-handedly put together the nursery, we picked out the colour and furniture together and then Pablo put it all together and even decorated the room which turned out perfectly. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend than Pablo I thought things would be difficult at some points as I still have a very obvious tie to my ex even if we don't speak but that hasn't bothered him at all and at this point he might as well be my daughters father. 

Yesterday was my due date so I have officially reached the point of pregnancy where I could go into labour any minute. Luckily Pablo has a few days off so I'm kind of hoping that I go into labour soon so that he can be with me because I really don't want to give birth alone. This morning my back has been hurting more than usual which I have been told is signs of early labour but that could last a hours or even days before turning into active labour. I want to be done with being pregnant so badly that since we woke up I've been getting Pablo to help me do things that induce labour. I have gone up and down the stairs about a million times and we went on a walk so that I could walk with one foot in the road and one on the pavement as that supposedly helps too. 

Someone recommended eating spicy foods so I sent Pablo out to get anything spicy for me to eat but once he'd left the back pain I had started turning into more like cramps all over which was a bit more painful. When I have pain I have been bouncing on a yoga ball so I got up from the sofa and all of a sudden felt liquid rush down my legs which I knew straight away was my waters breaking. Until that moment I'd been feeling quite calm about giving birth but now that it's actually happening I'm starting to freak out as so far it hurts more than I thought it would and my waters have only just broken. Once I calmed down a bit I grabbed my phone and called Pablo straight away as right now I just want him home so we are ready to go when things get more intense plus I need some support. 

"Hey love is everything ok I'm just getting to the store" Pablo answered completely clueless 

"Forget that I need you home like right now my waters have just broken" I said 

"What?" He questioned 

"I'm going into labour you idiot please just come home" I yelled 

"Oh god I'm on my way I'll be as quick as I can" he said 

"Thank you and I'm sorry for yelling I'm just a overwhelmed" I apologised feeling bad 

"It's ok love I'll be there soon to help" Pablo said before hanging up 

It felt like forever before Pablo was home but in reality it was only about 15 minutes until he burst through the door and ran over to be by my side. Just as he got to me I had another contraction so I instinctively grabbed Pablo's hand and squeezed it to help with the pain. As the pain began to fade away I loosened my grip until I was letting go of Pablo's hand who was looking at me with fear in his eyes clearly worrying about me. He helped me sit down as I'd been standing up walking around and got me some water because he didn't know what else to do. I was trying to keep myself calm as I know that's the best thing to do but seeing how worried Pablo was was making me feel bad. 

"What do you need me to do amor?" he asked 

"Everything is already in the car right" I said 

"Yes everything is in the car and the car seat is installed too" he said 

"Ok then I just need you to be here and time my contractions as when they reach five minutes apart we need to go to the hospital" I explained 

"I can do that but please tell me if there's anything else you want" he said 

My contractions stayed quite far apart for a long time but eventually things started to progress and my contractions became more painful and were getting closer together. By the time they were consistently 5 minutes apart it had been nearly 9 hours and it was pitch black outside. Usually at this time Pablo and I would be sleeping but instead we are both wide awake and he's helping me to the car so we can go to the hospital. It really started to feel real once we got in the car as the next time we're home there will be a baby with us in the backseat. There was no time for me to panic though as a contraction hit just as I was beginning to spiral which took my mind off everything but the pain I was feeling. I needed to hold Pablo's hand as for some reason being able to squeeze it makes me feel better and of course he obliged but he looked a bit nervous about having to drive one handed. He drove with a mixture of extreme care and speed as he wanted to be careful and I wanted him to get to the hospital before I have the baby in the car. 

Once we arrived at the hospital everything happened so quickly we were given a room and then what felt like millions of people came in and out to check on me. I was hooked up to all sorts of monitors one to measure baby's heartbeat and another to show when I was having contractions which felt like a cruel joke as now not only could I feel them I got to see a visual representation too. Pablo was trying to be as helpful as possible but there wasn't much he could do other than let me squeeze his hand and rant at him about how much pain I was in. He was such a sweetheart no matter how much I was yelling as he was putting a cold flannel on my forehead and giving me ice chips which were weirdly nice to eat all while giving me encouraging words. 

We were there for another few hours before I was fully dilated and ready to begin pushing. By this point I'd been in labour for over 12 hours and was completely exhausted so when I was told to push I wasn't sure I could manage it with the very little amount of energy I had left. Luckily I had a minute while the nurses were getting themselves ready so I looked up at Pablo hoping to gain some motivation and I was met with his beautiful smile which really did give me a boost. 

"Come on amor I know you can do it, you're so strong, it will all be worth it when she's here in just a few minutes" Pablo encouraged as I was pushing 

"It hurts so much and I'm so tired I don't think I can do it anymore" I panted trying to catch my breath 

"I know carino it will all be over soon but you have to keep going for a bit longer I know you can do it" he said 

"Thats it you're doing so well" Pablo continued 

A few seconds later cries began to fill the room which was the best thing I've ever heard as it meant my baby was here and ok. The nurses then placed her on my chest and I got to see her beautiful face for the first time which was a truly magical moment and something I'll never forget. Tears begin falling down my face as I was so overwhelmed with happiness but they were quickly wiped away by Pablo who when I looked at him also had tears in his eyes which only made me more emotional. It truly felt like this was our little family however unorthodox this was our family and blood relation is never going to make a difference in that. Pablo was allowed to cut the umbilical cord and then the baby was taken from me so she could be weighed and have all the other tests they need to do done. 

"I'm so proud of you you did amazing" Pablo said softly 

"Thank you but I couldn't have done it without you" I said 

"Don't say that I did nothing I just stood here, literally" he laughed 

"Well that's exactly what I needed" I said 

"Pablo I know this might seem a lot and you can definitely take some time to think about it but how would you feel about me putting you on the birth certificate and giving her your last name because she's more yous than that dickhead who provided his dna" I said 

"I don't even need to think about that I would love her to be mine" he smiled 

Suddenly I felt so at ease knowing that I had Pablo to support me and that he was happy to raise my little girl as if she were his own as that had been on my mind for the last 9 months. Pablo truly meant it when that night he told me he'd be here for me and despite everything I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out. 

[buckys-last-braincell]

god i hate neurodivergency sometimes because it's like

- misses social cue

- comes off as rude when joking

- comes off as joking when serious

- too much energy (makes people uncomfortable)

- too little energy (makes people uncomfortable)

- not matching energy (see: misses social cue)

- do they hate me or are they just tired and can't match my high energy?

- do i have a crush or a hyperfixation?

- are my friends secretly annoyed by me? overawareness of body language says yes, misinterpreted social cues says no. find out next episode when i say something wrong again!

- rare moment of shared interest and lovely discussion and mutual info dumping

- The Guilt.

- perfectionism

- "you were such a happy kid, what happened?"

- understimulated. need maximum media.

- overstimulated. if that person says one more word i'm gonna combust.

- masking? when? around whom? is it okay if i just don't? "why are you doing that weird thing? (existing as myself)" okayyyy thanks for the feedback never unmasking around you again. close family member. thanks that really made me want to jump out of my skin. yeah no i'm gonna go and scratch my face off now thanks.

- The Guilt (TM) part 2 where it's not anymore about Not Achieving Your Full Potential but about not being able to save the entire world actually. how dare you.

- horrbly affected by hormones. like so goddamn much. i hate how much my feelings towards things and my reactions change depending on my menstrual cycle. like i don't know who i am anymore. which one of the Mes is the real Me. how do i know how i feel about this when every week it's different?

and so on. i'm so tired. why can't people just be straighforward and say what they mean. why the cold shoulder and the awkward fake laughs. i'm so goddamn tired.

[skywlker-sluvtt]

Hello! Congrats on 500 💘

Can I request B14 and “try to stay quiet understand?” if you would like. With Tech?

Thank you

OMG MY FIRST TECH REQUEST I AM SCREAMING!!!! I'm rewatching the bad batch so currently clone thirsting so hard <333

tech x afab!reader nsfw content below the cut (18+) word count: 1k

prompts: B14 Hands focus + “try to stay quiet, understand?”

Tech was currently at his workbench putting something back together. What was that? You were about to ask him before focusing on how his hands moved around the metal object. He was fixing wires before with such skill his fingers moved effortlessly, not fumbling once. You’d always thought his hand were hot. They were much bigger than yours, you adored it when he didn’t wear his gloves so you could see the few prominent veins that ran across them. He picked up a precision screwdriver carefully twisting something back into place.

You couldn’t help but adore his hands especially when you thought about how they felt on you. “Cyare, do you need something?” He questioned not stopping his movements at all. “N-No” You stuttered being pulled out of your trance, pulling out an extra stool you sat beside him to watch closer. He placed the contraption down before cracking his knuckles and reorganizing his desk. “Do you have a question? You’re staring very intently” He stated. “No, just watching you”

His eyes moved to yours and he followed your gaze to his ungloved hand. “Are you sure? You look quite focused on my hands” He continued. A tinge of pink coated your cheeks as your eyes met his. “Maybe I am” You teased taking his hand and placing his palm against your own to compare sizes. “Your hands are so much bigger than mine, and I like it…alot” You explained. “Of course, my hands are bigger than yours. Due to the fact that men produce more testosterone than women do, men often have larger hands than women. Male and female bodies grow and develop in different ways as a result of the differing hormones” Tech explains and you roll your eyes shaking your head.

“I know that Tech. I’m saying it kinda turns me on how much bigger you are than me, especially your hands” You smirk cutting straight to the point so he realised your intentions faster. “Oh, I see” He replied with a red tint across his cheeks and a small smile. “I just like how they feel on me, touching me” You whispered as he placed his hand atop your bare thigh. Your whole body warmed as he rubbed gently up and down your thigh. “Does that satisfy you dear?” He asked with a smirk.

You giggled and watched his fingers grab at the meat of your thighs gently. “Little bit more” You grin before he snakes his hands higher to meet the hem of your shorts skimming the tips of his fingers over it before continuing to your covered core. “Is that better for you Mesh’la?” He asks rubbing his thumb over your most sensitive area. The fabric rubbed firmly against your clit and you let out a subtle moan.

“Tech p-please,” You sighed aching to be closer to him. “Sit,” He said patting his lap with a somewhat smug look on his face. You gladly sit straddling his lap and discarding your shorts along the way. Pressing a few passionate kisses to his lips he chuckled softly. “Patience my dear” Tech said swiping a thumb across your lip and admiring your features. Rolling your eyes you sighed softly waiting for him to do as you asked. His fingers made your way to your heat at a torturously slow rate. “Is this what you were waiting for?” He asked teasing the edges of your panties, pushing them to the side slowly.

“You’re much more aroused than usual, have my hands really affected you this much?” He mused. “Yes, I love your hands Tech. Think about them all the time” You said resting your head on his shoulder. He moved his thumb through your folds, spreading you open to rub your sensitive pearl causing a quiet whine to leave your lips. He kept focus on your clit for a while and then slipped his index finger into your wet cunt. “Tech!” You sighed arching your back into him. He paused his movements and smirked. “Try to stay quiet, understand? You wouldn't want my brothers hearing would you?” He questioned. You hummed, clenching around his fingers.

“I’ll have to use my hand’s on you more often if you react this way” He mentioned adding a second finger inside of you, starting a steady rhythm against your walls. “Faster” You whined in his ear kissing the sensitive skin of his neck. He curled his fingers deeper feeling the way you throbbed against his fingers. “Very good my darling I want you to cum on my command, understand?” “Yes, kriff yes” You nodded.

Tech moved his thumb to rub against your clit while fingering you. The wet noises filled the small room on the ship. “Baby, I can’t-can’t hold it” You groaned squirming in his lap, rolling your hips against his fingers slowly. “You can my dear, your patience is exceptional” He said softly. He continued finger fucking you at a relentless pace, you grabbed his free hand and squeezed it hard. Your skin heated up immensely and your heart pounded heart hard against your ribs.

“Cum for me Cyare” He whispered eyes focused on your glistening pussy. Holding back moans you finally let go, your body shaking with pleasure as you moaned into his armour-covered shoulder. Your legs trembled with pleasure as your climax settled down and Tech continued to keep his dexterous fingers deep inside of you. “That was remarkable darling, by far one of your longest orgasms” He commented pulling his fingers out of you. You whined at the loss of contact still catching your breath.

He moved his fingers to your lips, covered in your slick he opened your mouth with his other hand. “Suck,” He said firmly, you did as he asked taking his digits into your mouth and licking them clean savouring the salty flavour of yourself. “Good girl,” He hummed retracting his hand from you before you noticed the red light blinking from his goggles. “Did you just record that?” You giggled. “For research purposes as always, would you like me to delete it?” “No, not at all” You smirked. “Good, now I’m not finished. Up on the table for me,” He said helping you onto his workbench. You could barely contain your excitement for whatever he had planned.

[muttfangs]

we need to talk about baldness.

don't really know what it is with (specifically trans masculine folks, which is quite frankly super disappointing to see) queers being shitty and mean about balding / bald folks.

you do realize that a.) physical appearances have zero bearing on a person's moral or ethical values b.) This Can Happen To LITERALLY Anybody So MAYBE Don't Be a Callous Shitfuck About People With Hair Loss c.) Hair loss can be incredibly traumatic for people, and you are actively making our lives worse by mocking us

I (trans masculine, on HRT for 6 yrs) aleady had (and still struggle with) intense body dysmorphia, prior to my transition. I started to lose my hair nearly immediately after starting T. When I started losing my hair, I panicked and I had to postpone my medical transition by a couple years while I grieved the idea of fully losing my hair on HRT. I didn't want to NOT be on HRT (I already wanted to fucking kill myself because of the dysphoria and how intense being misgendered 24/7 was), but my hair was such a huge part of who I am and how I present myself. I had to very seriously weigh my options. And ultimately I came to grips with the fact that my hair will never come back, but I will be happier in the long run (and I am).

y'all assholes who mock bald people have no idea how hard of a decision this is to make, and how it impacts people's self confidence long-term. and you are PRIVILEGED BRATS when you punch down at people who have alopecia as a side effect from life saving hormonal therapy. This also hurts trans fem folks who have alopecia prior to transitioning, and know their hair won't magically grow back during transition.

shame on you for participating in body policing, and contributing to perpetuating the myth that "GOOD PEOPLE HOT, UGLY PEOPLE BAD"

you should be so lucky. and perhaps shut the eveloving fuck up about body traits that will never affect you in the ways it affects the people involved.

[genderfluid-dynamics]

i feel kinda weird writing this, it’s a bit disjointed and it could easily be split into several different posts, but i wanna capture my current thoughts around my weight and body fat, and it's been a while. i need it out of my system.

1) quick reminder for trans people, and to capture what i believe: based on what we know so far, body fat (re)distributes based on the dominant sex hormone. fat isn't actually directly moved around, but the sex hormone acts as a gatekeeper for which regions will receive new fat and which won't. so to change your fat distribution, you need to lose fat (to remove the old distribution) and gain fat (to put it in the new places). this happens slowly anyway as fat cells are regenerated, but it's normally a painfully slow process (affecting ~10% of cells per year), so only some kinda significant weight gain (and if applicable, weight loss), or cycles thereof, will have noticeable effects on any kind of reasonable time scale. i think it's wise to start with weight gain first to reduce the risk of triggering an eating disorder.

2) it's been some years, so as a refresher, i'm recovering from anorexia and i used to be dangerously underweight since childhood. i used to be so miscalibrated that i treated any sign of body fat beyond heroin chic as Shameful, so it took me a long time to even accept like 10lbs above skeletal as tolerable, then 20lbs, then 50lbs. i now weigh ~200lbs (i don't own a scale, so i rarely weigh myself and this is a best guess) and that finally feels like i'm (at the thin side of) not starved anymore. it's great!

(keep in mind i'm pretty tall, so numbers might seem higher than what the median person is used to. i still had doctors comment unprompted how thin i am last year when i was 180-190lbs. that kinda distortion also contributed to my own warped perception.)

3) i’ve made great progress getting rid of shame. i recently unlocked unrestricted eating and it’s mind-boggling. i feel so much more like myself, i have noticeably less fatigue, i’m really enjoying the hell out of eating whenever i want and whatever i want. i only realized in retrospect how much restriction i was still applying, even when i thought i was ok with gaining “some” weight and eating “larger” meals and “having snacks”. because “it might be the healthy thing to do[, so i’ll reluctantly allow it]”. yeah.

i handed the controls over when and what to eat to a shameless (❤️) part with full permission to do whatever, yes really, yes i love you, you can do what you want forever, seriously have a pizza and a tub of ice cream and some snacks, no you don’t have to compensate for it ever, you get the idea.

(the amount of functionality weed has helped me restore is incredible.)

without the shame, i’m really looking forward to gaining more weight. i checked my measurements out of curiosity and to update my clothing sizes if necessary. i gained a lot compared to two years ago, easily 2-4 inches everywhere, thighs, hips, tits, belly, everything. it’s so good. i’m finally starting to feel soft. i like looking at myself in the mirror. it viscerally feels good. it’s amazing.

i’d love to gain another 50lbs within a year or two. it can only get better.

4) i’m surprised how much gaining weight — sorry, lemme remove the minimizing— how much getting fat actually feels like transition all over again. overcoming bad programming, lots of lies and misinformation to throw out, learning too much about biochemistry, doing something i really want and enjoy just because i want to.

(woman who has only ever transed her gender: there’s a lot of gender in this.)

[coldflasher]

Okay I'm sure we all have spent way too much time thinking about speedster biology in various contexts for fic reasons, but you know what I cannot stop thinking about? How does speedster biology affect the menstrual cycle???

It must do, right? It has so many effects on the body---rapid metabolism, speed healing, potentially immortality (let's not open that can of worms again lmao), increased cell reproduction rate, etc. There's no way that it doesn't have some effect on their periods.

We know that speedsters (at least those with penises/testes etc.) can reproduce, so clearly it doesn't cause sufficient havoc to make them infertile---though there is some evidence to suggest that it could make it harder to conceive, since it takes Barry and Iris quite a while to get pregnant with Nora (interesting, since I always kinda figured speedster biology would increase the sperm count, but that's probs more to do with fandom brain rot making me convinced speedsters have a higher libido; not sure there was ever any canon evidence of that).

Realistically they probably did this for TV reasons, because by the rules of fiction, TV characters get pregnant easily when they do not want to, but if they're trying, then it will be incredibly difficult and take months to the point that they're like "ugh, we have to have sex AGAIN i guess even though we'd rather be doing literally anything else" (I'm looking at you Flash AND B99, I hate this trope, if sex is becoming a chore maybe you should uh. not do it for a while?)

Also, Jay Garrick and Joan, the only other speedster/normal person couple we know, don't have kids that we know of. Again, maybe they just didn't want them, maybe they met after Joan was menopausal, not sure we ever got confirmation either way, but that could be a point towards the speedforce affecting the reproductive system.

Anyways, either way the show doesn't address how speedster biology affects periods. They probably never thought about it, honestly; everyone knows characters on TV don't have periods, they figure out they're pregnant due to sudden random morning sickness, not a tampon or period tracking app in sight. But EYE am thinking about it.

If every process in the body speeds up, do they have more frequent periods that are just over really quickly? (Not sure if this would be better or worse than the usual kind? Probably worse, defo more annoying.) And if so, what is the hormonal cycle like? Are some speedsters going through mini PMS cycles on a weekly basis? (My thoughts and prayers are with them if so.) Are their periods super irregular? Do their periods maybe stop entirely at some points, due to the strain of constantly running around and the struggle of eating enough to maintain the body weight required to stay regular? This is something that happens with regular old athletes, so it could definitely happen to a speedster that burns a huge amount of calories and is EXTREMELY physically active.

Also, does the healing factor affect the duration of the period? That's one point in favour of a faster cycle, maybe a lighter flow, reduced cramps?? Imagine how much those period hunger cravings would suck when you already have to eat like 15000 calories a day! Like if I, as a person with a standard metabolism, feel the urge to devour everything in sight at that time of the month, how much worse would it be as a speedster for whom "constantly starving" is the default?

Of course, the most boring option is that they're just normal periods, and that's probably what the writers would say, if pushed. that's the coward's answer, tbh, but hey, maybe their periods are normal.  We never see any of the female speedsters on the show attempt to get pregnant, so again, we can't say if they would have difficulties, maybe they'd ovulate totally normally. Maybe Barry and Iris had issues just because sometimes people do just struggle to get pregnant for whatever reason. either way, it's SO interesting to think about.

Anyway this ramble was brought to you by me working on a fic where Iris becomes the Flash instead of Barry and making a throwaway reference to her having PMS and then being like WAIT. WHAT HAPPENS TO HER PERIOD. INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW.