#about honey and the hatchet

[cambria-writes]

hello it's been a while!

i got a brand new keyboard and believe it or not the quality and novelty of it is actually having me want to write agaain

hoping to be able to finish up the next honey chapter tonight or tomorrow and if i don't please harrass me (kindly) about it lol

[horrornvnfan]

a ranking list of if I met yandere vn love interests irl, who would i date!

i love all of these games and characters a lot, this isn't a "best game" list, just as realistic compatibility as i can imagine!

ren/redacted: 14 days with you (i'm a simp and a fool 😔🤘 we will date and i will inevitably pay the price)

ezra: restart heart (should be #1 bc they're somehow the healthiest choice i think? also very pretty and flirty)

friend: see thru need a friend (he's funny and fun and i love friends to lovers trope! i can fix him 😌💖 probably not.)

jack: swwsdj (he is so supportive which i love but i CANNOT trust ghosts. would be the slowest burn ever)

alan: my dear hatchet man (super bad idea but he's charming!! if i just never found out about the murder we'd probably be cool. also don't kidnap me.)

liu: glass mind (very cute! but i think he is possessed and idk how to help so not sure about going steady!)

fone: honey hotline (i genuinely really like fone! 🥰 but i think we might be better friends? also if fone is not upfront about dating, i'll never think he wants to, and then we never will)

zachary: don't look (i like him a lot but i would handle being kidnapped so poorly he'd just kill me out of annoyance 💀)

adam: you and him (i will sooner throttle him. i can hold a grudge and this man STABBED me. we might hate kiss ONCE but that is it.)

keith or tenebris: duality (they both seem cool, but i am extremely against finding someone broken into my home, so i AM calling the cops and never seeing them again sorry 🥲)

casanova: cannibal sweetheart (i have not played this game but i am afraid of being eaten! if that is a possibility in this game then i'm sorry we can be friends instead!)

elias: groom of gallagher mansion (i'm not a ghost fucker. don't look at jack in 4th place thats different)

dachabo: dachabo (i'm also not a furry so absolutely not)

john doe: john doe (NEVER. HE DOES NOT BATHE AND WANTS TO KILL ME.)

moral of this list; never let me find out about your intent to kidnap me/murder/stalking/gaslighting, and we will be a very happy and healthy couple 😘

[sugudoe]

☕️⌇ ◜ OFFICE HOURS ◞ ⠀⠀⠀

╰⠀boss!nanami x secretary!reader where . . . nanami kento can’t let people know the reality that he, under no circumstances, belongs to them. in fact, is quite the contrarie. everyone in this job is a puppet willingly letting him pull the strings. you more than anyone. after committing the bizarre mistake of telling nanami your true intentions with him, your boss is more than eager to comply your desires and just maybe, forget he first input of no belongings.

cw. too much swearing, fingering with others present (not caught), fem!reader, reader keeps daydreaming w. nanami, slightly age gap but non-important all legal, public sex, overstimulation, they both keep failing to hide, possessiveness, love bites, he slap her thigh once, bit of blood because of self lip biting 4.9k words, english is not my first language.

an. hi, hello, i want everyone to know i’m this man wife. this is, in fact, our love story, i used to serve his coffee, now i’m serving my puss— anyways, enjoy it. FYI nanami smells like either tom ford tobacco vanille or byredo bibliothèque.

There are certain events in the workplace ── a sequence, if you may ── that serves as a warning to everyone that Mr. Nanami Kento has arrived.

Not many months ago, you were clueless to the symphony of presentation he had, even before stepping into the room. Now, though, it’s engraved in your mind. Much like he is. It is, also, a dirty secret to have that you eagerly wait for it, everyday.

Halting the tack-tack of your fingers on the keyboard, your ears pick the first signal ── rushed footsteps. All opening space so he can pass without the need to raise his eyes, hidden by sunglasses, from his cellphone. The second is the whispers and swooning. Some, more brave than others, compliment him out loud. Always about his peculiar ties, and always he smiles back. Lastly, when Nanami is in your sight of view, he is accompanied by his signature scent that greets you before he even does.

The most raw way to describe his smell is by saying that you wish you could crack him open, and lay inside of him forever. It’s comfortable and addicting and it makes you want to kiss him until it can permanently fixates on you.

In more proper synonyms, Nanami Kento smells like caramel, wood and a bit smokey. He is hot to the touch, one can admit. You don’t fall far from these thoughts, but sometimes, when you are not eye-fucking your boss, you think he smells like a cozy cabin in the woods.

Perfect place to fuck him, though.

Is easy to imagine such a thing. You can picture him with thick sweat covering his body, like a second layer, as he comes inside with a hatchet and wood for the fireplace. And you can, also easily, imagine yourself on your knees sucking him so good, as way to thank him for keeping you warm.

It’s a Kento effect. Everywhere he passes, people tend to have a heat stroke. You are no better than the others. Probably worse. He, however, does not need to know that. Nanami’s plate is already filled to the brims with people gazing him as a snack, he doesn’t need his personal assistant to do the same.

Not in front of him, anyways.

So, when he comes near your table, and stop to take whatever you have for him (work related, honey, even when you wish it was your pussy), you present the calls he need to answer with a compliment for his shoes and a black coffee with pretzels.

He adores you.

You want to fuck him senseless.

A perfect imperfect balance of clashing feelings. His are professional, yours are not even close. He only steps over the boundaries when it’s to call you “Darling” and you only do so in your head, when you think of laying on his table and letting him feast on your dripping cunt.

He is gentle and caring.

You wouldn’t mind chanting his name loud enough for everyone to understand what’s happening.

He departs ways and you share a trembling sigh with your inner turmoil of emotions. He makes you have a constant fever. In fact, with him, everything is constant. You want to fuck him everyday, you touch yourself with his voice in your mind guiding you. He gets pretty out of character in your alone mind, though.

Real Nanami is a sweetheart. Your Nanami would make you cry while on his cock.

“── and the meeting room needs to be ready by eleven, you can do all that, darling?” He asks. He asks! He is talking with you.

“I, uh, I’m sorry, Mr. Kento,” You stutter before shifting your attention from your computer screen to his charming understandable smile. “could you repeat, please?”

“Sure, darling.”

You need to put extra neurons to work when eyeing his pink lips moving gracefully. Is it the same shade as his cock? Oh, you hoped so. That would be your favorite color, would paint your nails, your hair, anything.

“Got it now?” Nanami curls his lips as he question you. You can’t lie to him, so you sign that No, you did not payed attention. He chuckles and comes closer, resting both hands in fist on your table, letting himself down so he can be face to face with you. “I need you to order mine, yours and the lunch for the usual gentleman I talk about the finances, ── you have that noted, right?” You nod, and he proceeds. “Then, I want you to decorate the meeting room, the way you always do.” You nod again, and he moves back. You want to whine. “Good girl.”

Pause.

That’s new. It’s like achieving a new item in a game. A new level. That’s a prize, the greatest form of enlightenment one could have. You feel warm in your chest and cheeks, but dare not to sway your eyes from his twinkling ones. You wonder if he knows what you are thinking, or if he knows the power he has over you ── over everyone.

That’s Nanami Kento. The man with a dazzling aura, it touches all in proximity, no one survives him. If he wants, you are his. Hooked like a worm, willingly ready to be devoured by a fish, and the thing is no one knows if Nanami is said fish or the fisherman.

The secret about his success is not only the sweet talk he does, but the way he can easily take it away. And no one wants to be away from his warmth. You’ve seen it before, how he controls people ── some more powerful than your mind can comprehend, they all are puppets for him to pull the strings. He touches and praises them when they do what he wants, but Nanami grows cold and absent when they don’t.

Everyone wants to be loved by him, so everything this enterprise does, it revolves around Nanami.

He can be a scary man when he wants, and you’ve heard the tales, from time to time. With you, fortunately, he is just your nice boss. And a part of you wish he would cradle you into his arms and play with you like a marionete. His doll. Yeah, you want to be his fucking doll.

Tempted to ruin this lunch and be ravished by his famine, you shake your deranged thoughts and focus on ordering the food. Also asking for red velvet cookies for you and Mr. Gojo, the owner of this whole enterprise.

A cocky young man, that likes to devour your physique whenever you come inside the room. He is rich and beautiful and his name is always on the newspaper with gossip mostly involved. You could fall for him, could fuck him, but he is not Nanami.

He doesn’t boss you around gently, nor he makes you crave his scent on lonely nights. He makes you shy, but not timid and horny. In fact, you don’t even think about Satoru Gojo unless you are balancing his persona with Nanami’s. That’s sad for him.

You keep doing that ── the thoughts, the sexual dreams ── while preparing the meeting room with a charming decoration. Black glasses, black plates, all with golden details. Satoru Gojo himself payed for it, not that he knows or care. You commented once, Nanami liked, and moved his toys in favor of buying the expensive kitchen utensils you wanted. He even made sure to get some for your own house.

The last part is closing the thick black curtains around the room, for privacy. Someone comes inside the second you step back from the last tapestry, and when you turn, Nanami is there.

“How’s everything?” His fingers press on the table, moving swiftly with him, closer to you. “You’ve got cookies?” There is amusement in his question.

“Mr. Gojo’s secretary, Suguru, told me he was craving something sweet.” You turn back to the table behind you, stacking the sweet in a small mountain. “He always gets fussy if he doesn’t get his daily large intake of sugar.”

You grabbed one, knowing that half of it was rightfully yours, and twisted on your heels. Nanami scared you in two sequential situations after that. The first being his looming presence right in front of you, piercing gaze on you, shifting between your eyes. He was searching for something in it, so, you tried the hardest you could to give him something back. Eyes that said “please, fuck me.”

Maybe it worked. The next thing he did, that scared you, was bending down and biting your cookie. Eyes never leaving yours. You gulped, he smirked.

“Please, fuck me.”

He chocked.

See, your eyes were supposed to be the one speaking for you, but Nanami also has this super power that no one can lie to him. He wants something, he gets it delivered in a silver plate. He knows everyone’s secret, and yours were never safe, just happened to be hidden in a line of things that weren’t priority for him. Not until now, at least. He wanted to know what you were hiding, and you gave it to him.

“I ──” The words are struck behind your teeth. Nanami eagerly waits for them. “I’m so sorry.”

And with that, you leave him.

In a perfect world, he would have grabbed you by the wrists and fucked you against Satoru’s side of the table. But it’s not, because he lets you go. He has to let you go, even if you know that’s not the end of it. He will get you later, and like a little kid in science class, he will dissect everything you said. Therefore, during the thirty minutes of freedom you are granted in the bathroom, before the meeting starts, you try and fail and try and fail to conceal your thoughts into a perfect lie.

It doesn’t work. Not even a bit. Because Nanami knows you like the back of his hand, as much as he knows everyone that works with him. He knows when you lie and when you are truthful, and thanks to that, your work relationship had always been good ── you’ve never lied to him to stroke his ego. You were too busy wanting to stroke something else. Nanami let you slide your nasty comments about others, and he would share them, granting you some of their secrets.

He was a gossiper. He knew everything. You knew right there that lying would never work with him, so you just avoided to let him reach that horny part of yours that burned for him. Give him something else to sink his attention into. Your neck, you wanted, but rather you would feed him with gossips from your college classes, or what you got from Suguru Geto, your friend and Satoru’s assistant.

Now, you had already run out of distractions. Maybe that was his plan all along. If the world is correct, and it all falls down to Nanami’s desires, then maybe he was just waiting for you to crumble and admit. You had never been subtle with your eyes, anyway. That’s why he had been so fascinated about it, staring from time to time, trying to catch a glimpse of your true self, like a wishing star in a starry night.

The stars have gone dark, burned and busted away, when you come back to the meeting room and sit down on your designed chair, by his side. Nanami is focusing at you, again, like he needs more of your secrets at this moment. You have never gave him something so largue before, he is addicted.

But you, stubborn, appalled, stoic and all, think your plate of pasta is the most interesting thing in this whole world. You don’t eat much, because your throat is filled with all the words and screams you want to let out. You fear if you so much breathe loud, it will all come flooding this room.

“Are you annotating all of this in your head?” Nanami whispers in your ear, referring to the meeting now in progress. You sign no, and he sighs. “Your mind is far away, today.”

“Sorry.”

“What should I do with you?”

Someone coughs. An old man, standing by the edge of the table. He wants Nanami’s eyes on him, the praise, the goodness. Kento grants him half a smile, and that is not enough. Never will be. Everyone always wants more.

The lights are turned off when the projector is brought by Suguru, he comes and goes quickly, not before stealing a cookie from Satoru. That’s the first smile you present since the incident, and Nanami is back at staring at you with an intensity your heart fears but your pussy drips for. Are you scared? Petrified. And still, you are fucking horny.

He knows your secret, he is devoting his eyes to you, no matter what anyone else wants. He, in this moment, wants you. It might be because he needs to know what you meant, it might be because you are stroking his ego, finally. Or, you dare wonder, he is debating throwing you on that table and fucking you. Old men and Satoru aside, you wouldn’t mind. At all.

You take courage to look at him, and instantly you stare at his lips first, before his eyes. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. You go back at eyeing the projector. He does the same a long beat later. An even longer one, he slowly puts his hand on your exposed thigh, skirt raised since you set down.

You try to not fail in your stoic face, but you do so anyway. Because, for fuck’s sake, Nanami Kento has his hands on your thigh, his thumb in circular movements. Your lips instinctively curl up, he snorts by your side before going back to his serious demeanor.

You thought he would just keep his hands there, as if testing the water but deciding to stay near the shore. That’s not his case, though. Nanami loves to go to the beach, to swim far away beyond the waves, he likes to get damped. His hand move closer, and you open your legs absentmindedly. He wants, you give. As much as you have wanted, and now he is giving you.

When his hands are pressing against your lacy underwear, you hear a little “Fuck” coming from his mouth. You’re soaking wet.

It’s hard to keep your breathing pattern steady when he is near you. Even more harder when he has one finger slowly penetrating you. For the outsider viewer, everything is normal, and the two of you are just concentrated on the projector screen. The truth is you have no idea what’s going on, and maybe neither does him. You want to moan, and tug his hair until he groans. And you want him to replace his finger with his cock. You stare at the annotation book, empty of your handwriting, and use the opportunity of your head down to hang your mouth open and close your eyes.

Nanami shifts his eyes to you, and he drowns himself into your fucked gaze, even more so when he puts another finger. He can’t linger much, or others will notice, so he decides to keep his movements fluid and calm, and to stare at you from time to time.

He can multitask. Of-fucking-course. He asks questions, answers, he acts as if he is one hundred percent into whatever is going on. The reality is different. The truth is all about his curling fingers pressing themselves in a place inside you that will forever mark his presence there. Like a secret plaything only for him, no one, not even you, will ever reach that. It’s like he is signing it with either his name only or a “Nanami was here.”

You want him to stay, forever. Stay inside you, slow pacing, curling, sensitive.

He can’t, because what feels like hours later, turns into minutes. Everyone is raising up to leave, and he moves out of you so fast, you clench around nothing ── had you been quicker, grabbed his fingers, they all would know. You don’t give a fuck, you want them too know.

“Go to my office.” He whispers before going the opposite direction of the exit, and staying back to talk with the others. You walk without a goodbye, creating an excuse when Satoru wants some of your time.

Inside his office, you feel like breathing for the first time. It’s confusing, like your lungs are new and not fully connected to your esophagus, so it comes up weird ── in a mixture of laugh and relief, salted with a “what the actual fuck”.

You want to stop and think of what’s happening or what’s to happen, but you never had the chance. It’s a second later, and you are being pressed against his, now, locked door. His arms holding your hips, his head resting on your neck, sulking your scent much like you do with his.

“You meant it, right?” He asks, bringing his face up to yours. “You want me to fuck you. Please, darling, say you do, because I need to fuck you now, or I’ll go crazy.”

“Yes, please, please.” Midway through your desperate nod, Nanami lunged at you, catching your lips in his and conducting the rhythm, the strength.

He was so, so good. In all ways. His slow fingers had your legs shaking and his eager kiss has your mind fogged. All that he does seems to be professional, but you know deep down, this effect is all because is made by him. Just his presence alone could have you hot and bothered, but to actually be touched by him, it’s like adding the fire to your gasoline self.

You had always been meant to be burned by Nanami.

He hoist you up against the door, for a quick second his hands kept clawing your thighs, until he walked you both to his desk. He let you down on it, and at the same time, his kisses moved to your neck and shoulder. You could feel the scrape of his teeth, tempted to mark you with a significant bite ── tell them I’m yours, you thought.

He groaned against your flustered skin, because he knew he couldn’t do that. Mark you, that’s it. Fuck you? Oh, that he can, that he will do.

“I need you to be really quiet for me.” His hands are quick on his belt, dropping it with a thud against the floor. He raises your skirt to your waist, Nanami grumbled under his breath with the sight of your underwear. He had touched the elaborate details earlier, but to see it was another story. White, see through, a pink ribbon on the top. “I’m going to rip it.”

“No, you’re not!” Raising your leg, you pushed him away. Eyes still hypnotized by your clothed cunt. You removed the piece with a satisfied smirk. It had been months since you started to wear those type of under-wears, hoping one day this situation would come.

No one wants to fuck their sexy boss with granny’s pants.

The cold table coming in contact with your intimacy made you moan a bit, and Nanami’s attention was back on you. There you were, beautifully waiting for him. Fuck-me eyes, pleading mouth, hands gripping the edge of the desk. You were at his mercy, had been for a while now. And he? Well, Nanami was yours now, that’s what matter.

One of his fingers, the same one he had penetrated you earlier, came back inside you. Smearing itself with your wetness. His other hand gripped your hips, bringing you closer, and making him go deeper. There, right fucking there. He curled, and thrusted, and another two more out of nowhere.

Cruelty was not on the way he was ravishing your cunt, but the biting of your teeth on your hand. You have to be quiet, follow his orders, but Nanami seemed to want to make you scream. Let everyone know that he is fucking you. Nearly fucking you.

Combining this movements with the ones of earlier, you feel your insides getting tighter. He senses as well, and raises his peace once more. But, again, your legs push him away. Nanami doesn’t like that, he comes back quick, wet fingers anxious to reclaim their place inside you, but you sign no, and he halts. That’s it. The man that controls everyone, and he is at your mercy.

“I want to cum on your cock.” Maybe is the sweet and diabolical way you say, or the tilting of your head with a charming smile. What matters is, he complies right away. His pants fall, he takes off his blazer, and not a second later you are presented with what you’ve been craving for months.

Like a pregnant lady, you almost cry and fall on your knees, finally having your desire attended. He doesn’t want that either, instead Nanami takes a condom from his wallet. Before he puts it, his waiting fingers touch your cunt again, grabbing a bit of your liquid and smearing it on himself. You nearly ask him to throw the condom away.

Is a sinful sight. All of this. You on the desk, legs wide open. He in front of you, adjusting himself on the condom. Both groaning when he, fucking finally, align with your entrance, and slowly gets in. He is largue, and thick, and preparation might have been necessary had you not been daydreaming of this moments months ago.

Had he not been himself, that man that makes you drip with just a “good morning”, this might have hurt. Instead, it’s exhilarating to be parted by his cock. The condom does not stop you from feeling his veins tickling your walls, or his tip finally setting near your cervix. That was fucking new. Pleasant and scary, and fucking welcome as well.

“Say it again,” He asks, hands on both your hips and eyes looking over yours. Waiting for the stars to fall over the two of you. “tell me to fuck you.”

“Fuck m──” He doesn’t wait for you to end before he removes himself, and going back with a gushing sound. You nearly scream out of pleasure, but in the last second, you bite your lips strong enough to draw some blood. “Mmh, you fucking a-asshole.” He snorts at that, before slapping your thigh.

Seems that Nanami can do all the noises he wants. He groans against your skin, head hanging low to stare at the way you pussy suck his dick in and out. You have always been a good girl ── his good girl. Taking all the he gave you. Mostly work related, and now his cock. You truly were made just for him.

“You feel so fucking good, baby.” A moan scapes your hands, and he doesn’t bother spanking your leg again. He called you baby, and you’re strangling his dick perfectly. You can shout at this point, he is pussy fucked.

Removing your hands from your mouth, you decide to do something much better than guarding your pleasure. Instead, you open his button-up blue shirt. A dream come through, is what this day will be remembered as. Specially now, where he lets you do as you pleases, and you have the sight of his pecks ── bronzed from a beach trip he took last week, and glistening with sweat for your recent activities. You moaned again, before going for it, and marking him.

Nanami allowed you to do so. He only cared about holding your hips and raise your lower body, so he could make you meet his thrusts halfway. He didn’t hold a care in the world about his groaning getting louder, or the burning on his neck and chest caused by your eager mouth and teeth. Fuck that. Fuck everyone. The only thing he truly wanted was to be inside of you forever. To be planted in this moment of his life, on loop, being marked by you, having his cock milked out by your dripping cunt. That’s what his life was made for.

Nanami Kento had this aura that made everyone scramble for him and his left-overs, as a way to keep close. To say they have something that once was his. Because everyone knew that Nanami was no one’s property. This moment, this fuck, this pussy proved that statement to be contraire ── he was yours. From the first day he saw you and specially one hour ago, when he had eaten your cookie and you told him to fuck you. He knew right then that he would shift the whole balance of the world to give you what you want.

And if that’s his aching cock, fucking be it. It’s yours. You’re taking it so good, and barely paying attention to it. He keeps bruising your cervix, and you respond with little whimpers and more bites. He quicken his peace, you close your legs around his waist, as if giving him more opening.

A perfect synchrony.

“Wan’ to cum.” You mumble just right after he senses your wall get tight.

“C’mon, baby, ugh, cum f’me.”

“Mmh, fuck, ngha.”

You do right after, going limp on his arms, he slow his thrusting with a snort and laying you down on the desk. He shuffles something by your dazed-self side, before he brings a black sharpie near your cleavage. He kisses and licks and sucks on it, before opening the pen with his mouth, and signing a straight line.

“How many more can you give me, pretty?” You don’t answer in words, but with more quiet whimpers, when his thrusts go back to pounding you in a maniac pace. He holds your neck down, leaning to kiss you through your beautiful moans.

You’re sensitive, he knows. Because you keep closing more and more around his length, trying to make him cum, unknown to you that it only makes you closer to coming again. You hit your head on the desk when trying to follow his departed lips, Nanami has your neck again on his mouth, tasting your sweat and lotion, and all you can give him. It’s only when he bites it slightly, you release yourself once more.

“Mmph, fuck, fuck, argh.”

Nanami keeps jerking his hips onto yours, not even having cum once. He takes pleasure in yours, you can see. With a proud smirk, he grabs the sharpie once more, but this time, he makes a diagonal line that touches the top of the first.

“Mhm──!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, baby. Just a bit more.” He cooed at you, sweet tone diverging from his animalistic movements.

You’re not complaining, not even regretting. So you keep yourself down and let Nanami control both of yours fun. He is ruthless in his pace and fantastic with his kisses, he doesn’t mind your moaning anymore, or the fact that everyone on your floor already knows. What can they do? Stop you? Nanami will rip everyone apart and just return to your pussy. Threaten him? No one would dare. He is still their sweetheart, their most sacred prize, beautiful and shinning to look at. Never to have.

“I’m, ugh, I’m yours.” He grunts.

This time, you sense a shift in his thrusts. So methodical now sloppy, and his cock kept twitching inside of you, sending more waves of pleasure to your core. Yes, fucking finally, he was near.

“All fucking m──mine.” You agreed with his words, grabbing the back of his neck and slamming your lips together. “I’m yours, always had been.”

Nanami can’t even control himself anymore. He groans and pants as he releases himself inside you. With a mist of swearing and praises you could barely decipher. After all, his own release had triggered yours.

When you both had come back from the high, Nanami raised himself from your chest, and kissed you, tongues intertwining, teeth clashing and biting. When he parted, leaving you breathless, he had then pen in his hand again. It touched your skin, once more, connecting from the bottom of his last line, going up straight.

It’s a “N”.

“You think we can spell my name?” He asks, leaving your inside to throw his condom out. He opens a drawer, where a box with more is presented.

“That would be more 17 fucks.” You support your weight on your elbows while counting.

“It’s that a no?”

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles up your throat, before beckoning him closer. He does right away, kissing you hungrily once more. As if he is trying to record forever the taste of your mouth. He has your hair in his fists, pushing it back so he can go back to your, now, heavily marked neck.

“Let’s see how far can we go.” You indulge into his crazy erotic idea.

Nanami smiles triumphantly. He removes himself from your body, but doesn’t put condoms, instead, he falls on his knees, diving straight for your pussy.

Hours later, the sun beginning to set on the horizon, you leave his locked office with a smug smirk and timid eyes. Both accompanied by messy hair, flushed cheeks, marked neck and… “Nana” written on your chest.

“We’ll finish this later.” He comes behind you, closing his shirt, but letting the top buttons opened enough to catch a glimpse of your love marks on his chest. Specially the one with “Mine” marked in it.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

Some thoughts while I'm watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die for the first time:

After the Big Game, something that's been itching my brain for a while came back- Clivesdale. Hatchet Town is reinforcing this, but since Black Friday and Honey Queen the Clivesdale hate has really started to stand out to me. Yes it's a funny gag, but the Hatchetfield disdain for Clivesdale is straight-up cultish. Laura Cunningham (I think was her name?) had lived in Hatchetfield for 15 years, but was entirely excommunicated when it came out that she was from Clivesdale. Keep in mind, she was well-liked enough to be a Honey Queen candidate. Two teenagers are brutally murdered and everyone is more focused on the loss against the Chemists. Even people who hate Hatchetfield like Emma and Ziggy hate Clivesdale more. The general population of Hatchetfield is so feverish. I know that the Wiggly doll riots happened all over the world, but holy SHIT it didn't take any time at all for Hatchetfield to totally cave in on itself!

Here's the other thing that gets me- has anyone ever really left Hatchetfield? Anyone who wanted to?

•Emma Perkins has exactly one life goal- not to die in Hatchetfield. Her entire life had been, up until Jane's death, about getting away from Hatchetfield. She is officially pronounced dead after the explosion at Starlight Theatre, though she survived in Clivesdale Hospital. She only lived for a couple weeks after "dying" in Hatchetfield. She also dies almost immediately after returning to her hometown in the events of Forever and Always. She does not die after the fire at her weed farm, but she is arrested and presumably imprisoned in Hatchetfield.

•Frank Pricely is imprisoned by Sherman Young after his attempted escape.

•Alice Woodward dies in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals before she can leave for college. In fact, she dies after skipping the bus to Clivesdale

•Lex and Hannah Foster (along with Ethan Greene) have plans to escape Hatchetfield and head to California. All of them die before they can even get past Nantucket bridge.

•Zoey Chambers wants to win Honey Queen for the funds to get out of Hatchetfield. In both Honey Queen and The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals she dies before she has the chance to leave.

•Jonathan Brisby attempts to retrieve Lucy Stockworth from Hatchetfield. Brisby dies in the woods, Lucy disappears in the same woods with the Woolyfoot.

•Jenny and Andy planned to move to Clivesdale, but Jenny dies before she can leave, and by the time Andy becomes Andrew Killgore he's back at CCRP in Hatchetfield. Obviously this is wobbly because of timeline shenanigans, but it's implied that Ted didn't actually cross timelines during the events of Time Bastard, just fucked around in his own a lot.

There's just something. There's something about Hatchetfield. It's like a black hole. If it wants you there, and it does, you always end up there, and it's not likely you'll leave a second time.

Something about the ambient affects of the town absolutely fascinates me, I've been thinking about this stuff for like 5 years and it's not gotten old to me yet

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Will you please be quiet?

Summary: You have a song stuck in your head and Emily one has one way to make you be quiet.

Word Count: 1.1k

Fluff, kissing

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Reader POV:

“I wanna be your endgame, I wanna be your first string!” I sang as I was getting ready for the day. Music blasting through my apartment, as I pack my go-bag.

I go over to my vanity and put on some quick makeup and keep humming Endgame as it echos through the walls of my bedroom.

I hop into my car to go to work and put my Spotify on shuffle, Endgame comes on again. I’m not complaining but oh my god. This is going to be stuck in my head for days now.

Time skip to when reader gets to Quantico*

I’m minding my own business waiting for my coffee to pour while humming Endgame as Emily walks up behind me.

“Got a song stuck in your head?” Her hand lightly brushed over my waist as she went to stand next to me. Oh my goodness this woman makes butterflies erupt in my stomach by such a small touch.

“Ha, yeah. That obvious huh?” She let out a small laugh as she nodded.

“Yeah well you’ve been here what, an hour? And I don’t think I’ve heard anything but that time leave your mouth.” I lowered my head and shook it laughing at her observation, a blush coating my cheeks.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t come here just to talk about the song planting itself in that pretty little head of yours-“ I don’t let her finish, partially because the blush on my cheek is becoming too noticeable now and also because I know exactly what she’s going to say.

“We have a case.”

“Yes, we do, meet in the round table in 10.” She gives me a small smile and walks away.

Time skip to once they’re on the jet on the way to the case*

“Big reputation, big reputation, ohh you and me, we’d be a big conversation.” I mutter under my breath as I sit next to Emily looking over the file.

“Oh my god! You’re still going huh?” I’m snapped out of my thoughts by her soothing voice, I laugh and look at her honey brown eyes.

“Sorry!” I laughed as I looked back down to the file, her hand found its way onto my thigh under the table, careful not to draw attention to us. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

An uncontrollable smile bloomed on my face. I gave her hand a squeeze to say thanks and we both went back to the task at hand.

Time skip to when they’re looking through evidence at the local PD*

“You got anything?” Like asked Rossi.

“Nothing, if this guy did have any enemies he was quick to bury the hatchet as not to be tracked down.” As soon as he said this my brain flickered on with Endgame. Again.

“And I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put ‘em.” I hear a giggle next to me and look over and find Emily gazing at me.

“Don’t even,” I sighed “It’s starting to annoy me as well.” She laughed and shook her head and looked back down at the evidence like we had collected from the scenes.

Time skip to a little later*

“Hey what you humming?” Tara asked me as she looked up from the crime scene photos on the table.

“Endgame by Taylor Swift.” I reply without looking up, trying to piece together where the unsub was going to strike next.

“Oh my god! I love Taylor Swift! What’s your favourite album?” Before I could respond Spencer came into the room we, and the rest of the team, were in and started talking.

“Guys, I know where the unsub is going to strike next. The house he grew up in has been condemned and scheduled for demolition so that’s probably where he’s been taking his victims. If he sticks to his pattern, he’ll be going back there at some point after 10pm tonight.” We all started to pack up our things when Emily called out,

“Guys, we need to do a stakeout. We’ll scare him away if we go in there guns drawn and then he’ll go underground so, Reid and JJ, park on the curb near the house, Tara and Matt, go to the end of the road, Rossi and Luke to the other end of the road, you’ll act as a kind of covert roadblock and me and y/n will park up in an lay-by near the house.”

We all got up and went to our assigned SUV and started driving to our destinations. On the way there Emily turned the radio on.

“And I heard about you, ooh, you like the bad ones too.”

“Oh my god! It’s everywhere!” We laughed together at this. What are the chances?! We kept the radio on nonetheless.

As we pulled into the parking space we sat in a comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other presence and the peace of an evening stakeout. The sun was setting and I absentmindedly started humming under my breath yet again.

“I don’t wanna miss you, like the other girls do. I don’t wanna hurt yo-“ before I could finish I feel my chin being tugged to the side and a soft pair of lips meeting my own.

To say I was shocked at first was an understatement but I soon melted into the kiss, her thumb caressed my face as our lips moved together. It was the most amazing moment of my life to date. Emily slowly pulled away her face still barely a centimetre away from my own.

“What was that for?” I asked, still skeptical.

“It’s the only thing that I could think of to stop you from singing that damn song!” Laughter broke out between us and as it died down she pulled me back in again for a brief kiss.

“Dinner at my place tomorrow?” She asked gazing into my eyes with our hands intertwined.

“Are you, Unit Chief Emily Prentiss, asking me out on a date?” I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt.

“Yes, I am.” She giggled.

“In that case, dinner tomorrow sounds awesome.” I kiss her again, savouring the taste of her on my lips.

“I’ll take you to and from work so you can stay the night and not worry about your car.” I say thank you as I pull her into another kiss, this one lasting a little longer than the others.

Her hand reaches for the back of my head and pulls me in closer, her tongue swiping my bottom lip asking for permission. Granting it, I open my mouth and let her explore.

“Hey guy! Stop sucking each other’s faces and go back to the PD we got the guy!”

We make eye contact and start laughing hard.

Well Shit. At least I ahoy a date with em!

[expiredidealist]

i’m still reeling on the theft of sharon needles purse can u explain how the fuck u did that it makes me manically giggle just thinking about it.

basically i didnt know who he was outta drag so i walk into this bar crying cause me & my ex bf had gotten into a fight & sharon sees me & says “aww honey you look like you need a bump” i said “yes please” then me & him did coke & he was like im sharon needles & i was like omg so yr racist & then we proceeded to argue for 10 mins in this bathroom about shit he has done and him tryna prove he aint racist to me. So then he is like lemme get you drunk to bury the hatchet & i was like ok, aint gonna change my opinion of you but i wish i was drunk right now. So then he goes to order us drinks & his card declines so i go better go find a few bucks before i beat your stupid ass. so he goes to ask people for money & leaves his ugly ass purse so i peak inside & of course his broke ass has no money so i take his ID & glasses & skip out of the bar humming a happy tune.

[hailey-dilmore-the-worm]

HAILEYS BULLET OF REVENGE

OCC: IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: THIS IS A REWRITE BECAUSE I WAS STUPID AS FUCK AND ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT... ☹️ BUT IMA GO AND REWRITE IT ALL AGAIN... WARNING: this story contains violence, insults, verbal assault , blood, death, guns and all along the lines of that..THANK YOU. this is a continuation of my roleplay with @ethan-green-69420 , if your reading this, sorry it took so long as I said I accidentally deleted the original...]]

Orange: hailey

Red: zoey

*after her meet up with Ethan, Hailey dilmore walks through the quiet streets of Hatchet Town, the sun settings light shining through the buildings of the streets. As she walked on, Hailey remembers that she left her car back at pizza Pete's.. of course she did.. well it's too far now, she'll go pick it up tomorrow at some point.. that's if ... She's even alive by tomorrow after the course of her plan. She shakes it off, and eventually finally arrives at the apartment building. Walking through the main door and pressing the button on the elevator listening to the rumble of the elevator before it finally dings open. She walks in and presses the button to the 8th floor, watching the doors close and feeling the elevator pull her up to the floor, once again watching the doors ding open. She'd walk out the elevator and through the apartment buildings halls until she stops at her apartment door. She takes out her key and opens the door, closing it and placing her key on the key rack hung up near the front door. Placing her bag down and walking into the main room. No one but her and Zoey was home, which is perfect.. the other girls went out for a meal, Zoey would have too, but the embarrassment of loosing her voice completely during the honey queen pageant still lingers, aswell as her voice still being pretty fucked up still. She'd walk up to Zoey's room and knocks on the door entering*

"hey Zoey.. how are y-"

*before she can say anything else, shes interrupted by Zoey. Her voice rasped and croaked*

"shut up worm.. get out I don't want to talk to you right now."

"right I know that but.. I want to talk to you."

*Zoey rolls her eyes and sits up from her bed she was laying on*

"allright what is it Hailey.."

*Hailey took a deep breath and looked Zoey in the eyes with a serious stare in her eyes*

"I want you to.. to stop."

"stop..?? Hailey what the actual fuck are you on about."

"stop ... Stop blaming me for your issues, assuming it's always me that caused them-!!!! Stop using me as a door mat for yourself-! Putting me down so you can feel good about yourself-!! Insulting me and talking about me behind my back to all your freinds-!! Stop threatening to kick me out of the dorm just because I'm struggling with stomach problems-!"

*silence breaks the room.. their heartbeats the only sound, but was shortly lived as a broken choked laugh escapes Zoey's mouth, as she'd stand up and walks over to Hailey*

"your ... Your joking ... your funny!! You're having a laugh!! Right??"

"no...no I'm not joking I'm serious-! This is what I'm talking ab-"

"shut up...shut ... Up ... Hailey.. I will kick you out of this apartment.. I will end your career, I get you into those shows.. all you have is because of m-"

*Zoey was suddenly shut up by a loud echoed SLAP across the room, a seering pain surges through Zoey's face as she'd stare at Hailey in shock*

"..Zoey...I don't want YOU here anymore..I want you to leave... I'm standing up for myself and .. everyone else you've bitched at-.. lea-"

*as retaliation, in a fit of rage Zoey let out a yell of anger, thrusting her fist into Haley's face causing her to stumble back out the room. Zoey follows, wiping Hailey's blood off her knuckles*

"you... Fucking dare...I'll kill you ...you fucking.. worm..."

*Hailey stands up, spitting out a splatter of blood as she'd lunge at Zoey back. Starting a big fight between themselves. Punches and slaps throw across the room, until Hailey switches it up and wraps her hands around Zoey's neck, in an attempt to strangle her to death, Zoey in panic thrashes around, knocking stuff off the shelves and tables. And is finally able to break free as Hailey finds Zoey's knee striking her straight in the stomach, pushing her onto the floor in a winded state. Zoey gasps, catching her breath before making her way over to Hailey*

"you..you be got some nerve... Get ... Get out of my apartment..or I'll make you myself.."

*Hailey grits her teeth, so it's come to this, she reaches for the gun in her back pocket, turning the safety off*

"Zoey...I'm... So...sorry..for everything..."

"your sorry?? Your fucking sorry???? I not accepting that... After all of that-!!!!! You... Son..of a-"

*Zoey was silenced, after a flash of God awful pain struck her through the chest followed by a loud BANG. She'd look down, finding a bullet wound, right in her chest, she'd struggle to breath as she'd cough up blood, her legs trembling to the floor. Opposite of the dying zoey, Hailey stands back up for the second time, her eyes pink, and glowing whilst watching her friend struggle on the floor, breathing slowly until her breaths disappear and the life from her eyes drain away..*

"now...now who's the worm...huh...who's the worm now..!!"

*she'd bend down to check if she's still breathing, finding out she's gone, before walking over to the mirror, looking at herself in it, before taking out her phone and texting @ethan-green-69420 *

["its done...she's gone... I don't know how long the others will be before they come back so...please hurry-"]

OOC: YIPEE FINALLY I HOPE I DONT DELETE IT AGAIN....

[rx-wr]

🌧️•~Sad Times~•🌧️

A ticci Toby x Reader (smut) by: rxwr

CW- depression, starvation, cutting, sympathetic sex (in the beginning), rough sex, depressed reader, stalking, blood, suicide attempts mentioned, degrading.

Words: 1,073

~•~•~•~•~

You sit in your room, no music, lights off. Tears run down your face as small hiccups escape your lips. Your life has been pretty shitty for the last couple months. It started one day when you had caught a man following you home. You didn’t get a good look at him before he disappeared away from your sight. You’ve been on edge ever since. A few weeks later you lost your father, sure you guys weren’t close but it still hurt. As the rest of your life went on more and more started to go on. So now here you sit, a knife by your side blood leaking down your arm. You stare at it be for you clean up and wrap your arm.

You get up and start to walk downstairs. Walking over to the fridge you open it. Most of the food in there had gonna bad. You’ve stopped eating about a month ago. You’re really really skinny right now surviving mostly off of water and small snacks every now and again. You sigh and close the fridge walking over to the sink and getting a small glass of water instead of food. You down the water and start to walk upstairs.

You return to your room but stop dead in your tracks, I man stands over your bed back facing you, there’s a hatchet in his right hand and it looks like he’s twitching. You step back trying to be as quiet as possible only for the floor of your hallway to creak. Before you could look up the man had you pinned to the wall. Hatchet in the air. I start to cry more out of pain as your cuts on your arm had reopened by the force. You put your arms up to shield yourself from the weapon as much as possible. But nothing came…no pain, no sound, no swing. The man grabs your arm and pulls you to the ground and climes on top of you.

“G-god your look s-so fucking miserable…” he said the mouth guard he wears slightly muffles his voice.

He removes the hoodie he has on revealing the rest of his brown hair. You try to move out of his grasp but he simply grabs both your wrists and pulls you back. 

“You k-know it’s ru-ude to move away from people when t-they’re talking to you, r-r-right?” He said a little anger in his voice.

He give you a skeptical look then smirks. “You scream hav-v-ven’t been fucked, god makes me f-feel bad…” he removes the mouth guard and goggles from his face. “A-am I right?” He asks smiling.

With his face exposed you blush as you look at him. He has honey brown eyes that complement his pale skin. His lips are slightly tinted red. His cheek has a gash through the side of it, revealing his teeth and gums. He has a slight stubble peppering his face.

His hands still have ahold of your wrist as he hold you down. “S-shit by the w-way you’re looking at me-me right now, y-you probably haven’t f-felt the touch of man i-in months.” He said with a chuckle. “I m-might fuck you out of p-pity,” he moves closer to your face. “Would you l-like that?”

You don’t know what your body is doing it moves on its own as you nod. He gives you a crazy smirk and brings his face down to yours. His lips take yours in a rough kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. He smirks against your lips and pulls away bringing his mouth to your neck. He bites down on your neck causing it to bleed, he uses his tongue and licks at the blood.

“God-d so good…” he says and continues. His hand moves down to your shirt and removes it. He moves down from your neck to your tits, he takes a nipple into his mouth and his fingers play with the other one. You get out moans and groans as he does this, his pants growing tighter on him form his erection. He pulls off and flips you over

“I c-can’t fuck wait…” he says his voice raspy. He gets down lower and moves your panties to the side. “B-but fuckkkk I might h-have too…” he says and licks up your folds. “So w-wet, fucking s-s-slut” he sticks to fingers in as you let out a gasp. “And t-tight, god my c-cock might no-ot fit.” He says chuckling darkly. “Oh but I’ll m-make it f-fit”

He pulls away undoing his pants letting his dick spring free. You gasp at the size has to be 7 or 8 inches, it’s girth isn’t that much but it’s still a lot compared to what you have had before. He pushes into both of you letting out a moan as he bottoms out.

“F-fuck so tight…” he says his voice strained slightly. After let you adjust he starts to move. His thrust are slow at first but there not like that for long as he starts to slam into hard and fast. “Ugh f-fucking slut…t-taking it l-like a whore.” He says into your ear as he thrust into you from behind you. Your hands grab onto the carpet of your hallway as he continues.

The room fills with the sound of slapping skin and moans. “Fuck, I’m going to cum!” You scream.

“That’s it c-cum for me, cum for me l-l-like the cock taking w-whore you are…” he whispers in your ear. He continues to thrust. You start to cum and he’s right behind you. He cums inside of you with a few slow thrust then pulls out. His juices leak out of you, he uses his fingers and scoops the back up inserting them and sticking his sperm back into you.

He gets up and fix’s himself. He looks down at you and picks you up laying you down in your bed. He walks over to the window placing his hatchets into their holsters.

“Where are you going?” You ask sitting up slightly.

He looks back at you his body half way out the window. “I can’t s-stay.” He says. You look at him and nod.

“Can I know your name…?” You ask hesitantly. He looks at you for a moment then nods.

“T-Toby…” he says. He looks you over again. “I’ll be b-back for more in t-t-the future…” he says before hopping out the window. You lay down and get some of the best sleep you’ve had in a few months.

[nobodysdaydreams]

More Hatchetverse Theory: The Reasons Why Hatchetfield Hates Clivesdale (It's Worse Than You Think).

Well my Hatchetverse theories have been taking off so I'm just gonna keep the good times rolling (the hashtag is "#hatchetverse theory"). Read below for an unhinged rant.

So there have already been a fair amount of theories about Clivesdale and why the residents of Hatchetfield hate it so much. I'll start by reviewing one of the most popular theories: that Clivesdale and Hatchetfield mirror the black and white, and that Clivesdale is associated with the "white" while Hatchetfield is associated with the "black".

The evidence is pretty compelling:

Clivesdale is the "sister city" of Hatchetfield. Webby is the sister of the LIB

The townspeople hate Clivesdale with a violent passion, and people have already pointed out that this mirrors Wiggly's hatred of Webby. Meanwhile, the people of Clivesdale don't seem to hate Hatchetfield. They raise the bridge in TGWDLM out of concern, but they don't seem to aggressively dislike Hatchetfield and mourn them when they are gone. This again seems to mimic that attitude Webby and her brothers have with each other.

The names of Clivesdale and Hatchetfield have similar meanings. "Clive" means to "Split or to chop" and "Dale" means "Valley". Hatchets are used to chop things. The towns are literally "split apart". I talk about the names of some of the town's other landmarks here.

The fight between the Clivesdale and Hatchetfield High football teams is emphasized a lot, to the point where the news covers it more than the murders of the teens in NPMD, and warns that a "losing streaks coming", but says that hopefully they can "get them next year". This could signify how the war between the black and white seems to occur in several realities.

Clivesdale and Hatchetfield have other similarities too, like how the Hatchetfield Honey Festival (a cover for an evil cult sacrifice, according to Nightmare Time) parallels the Clivesdale Cherry Festival (which no one is interested in, according to a newspaper prop from the musicals, but that's the Hatchetfield news, so it might be biased reporting).

But even if we assume this theory is true, I don't think the LIB would make the residents hate the town merely because they hate their sister and her town. This is because there are two other potentially terrifying reasons why the LIB would want the citizens of Hatchetfield to hate Clivesdale.

The first, which I haven't seen anyone talk about yet, is that Hatchetfield is an island. To leave it, citizens either need to leave by plane, boat, or bridge. And where does the only bridge off the island lead? Clivesdale. The LIB make the residents hate Clivesdale so that they won't leave Hatchetfield because it likely means they'd have to go through Clivesdale, which many residents say they'd rather die than do. One piece of evidence that supports this theory is the way the LIB try to entice the residents of Hatchetfield to stay in "Drowsytown":

There are many times when the LIB refer to the Black or being under their control as being in "Drowsytown" (and I can make a whole other post about the LIB and sleep/nightmares and Drowsytown symbolism another time). But, this is significant, because when citizens "wake up" from the LIB's control, their followers and the LIB themselves specifically ask them to stay "Down in Drowsytown" (also possibly a metaphor for "Hatchetfield's Downtown", they do sound similar). In Nightmare Time, the sniggles also sing about how they can't leave Drowsytown.

The other reason the LIB want the citizens of Hatchetfield to hate Clivesdale so much is a bit darker, and stems from a combination of Clivesdale being the only way off the island and the deep seated hatred the people of Hatchetfield have for Clivesdale, particularly in NPMD.

I have a separate post on this, but Max Jagerman hates Clivesdale so much that when he dies, he declares that he's going to destroy the whole town Clivesdale, and in "Go Go Nighthawks!", the students declare that they are going to "kill Clivesdale". At first this seems like the usual Clivesdale hate, but then one might consider the facts that Clivesdale is one of Hatchetfield's only links to the outside world, and the LIB seem to have a vested interest in conquering said world.

Thus, when the citizens of Hatchetfield say they hate Clivesdale and are going to destroy everyone there, they are not just referring to the citizens of Clivesdale, or the White/Webby of the "Black and White", but the mainland, the rest of the world, and everyone in it.

Think about it. If the LIB convinced the citizens of Hatchetfield that joining them or doing what they wanted would destroy Clivesdale, most of them would join them in their world domination quest with no questions asked. The LIB also sing in NMPD "why help you with the Jagerman when we could help the world?" which when combined with Max's earlier threat about destroying all of Clivesdale, and the fact the LIB make sure they still have control of Grace at the end of NPMD, seems pretty concerning, because it appears to imply that the LIB would only help the kids with Max if they had the guarantee that they'd still have a way to conquer the world, but again, this is just a theory.

Then there are two other relatively unexplored aspects of the dynamic between Clivesdale and Hatchetfield that we just don't have very much detail on, but I'll share what I got.

The first is the names of their mascots: The Nighthawks and The Chemists (I already made a post about the Sycamore High Timber Wolves).

The "Nighthawks" seems pretty self explanatory, it fits with the whole "Nightmare Time" "Eternal Night" "Black" "Drowsytown" theme quite nicely. Also in NPMD, when singing about Max, the students sing "like a nighthawk he preys" and the nighthawks are called predators.

The "Clivesdale Chemists" is more obviously an odd mascot, but harder to figure out since we don't have much lore on Clivesdale. "Chemists" could mean "Alchemists" could mean "Witches", but it's still unclear what the significance could be there or what the history is between Hatchetfield and Clivesdale and how it mimics the history between Webby and Wiggly. (The Witch in the Web song and Wiggly's repeated statements about hating Webby and wanting "wrath"/"revenge" are the only clues we have on that for now. Also the Cross and Holloway rivalry).

The second is the existence of the Nantucket Bridge.

It provides compelling evidence for the first part of my theory about the LIB using the Clivesdale hate to keep everyone in Hatchetfield/Drowsytown/the Black. If the people of Hatchetfield hate Clivesdale, they won't use the bridge.

I googled the word "Nantucket" and found a few meanings: "island", "far off land" and "sandy, sterile soil tempting no one". Make of that what you will.

It is confirmed in TGWDLM that Clivesdale controls the Nantucket Bridge (or at least half of it), because they raise it when Hatchetfield becomes infected with Pokey's apocalypse. Interestingly, this is the only time they seem to do so and they do so in response to what seems like just reports of a meteor crash into a theater and the occurrence of random flash mobs (not the scariest sounding thing that's ever happened in Hatchetfield so idk).

"Bridge" could also be referring to a gateway to the Black and White from earth, or bridge between the Black and White in general. Keeping along with the word theme, the body of water under the bridge is called the "Nantucket Channel", and the use of the words "Channel" and "Black and White" could refer to television, but that association is a bit more out there than the other ones, which have more evidence.

There are a lot more spin-off rants I could do with this, but I'll leave it here for a while. I hope you enjoy Starkid fandom!

[anotherdragon]

you know, I was thinking earlier.

At first I was thinking about how desensitized the residents of Hatchetfield are to death and dissapearances. Grace said it herself: "This is Hatchetfield. People Go missing every day!" And you see it, too: how Max going missing and Richies death almost seems like an afterthought; and its played off as a joke, as 'oh haha look they care more about some football game than a kid going missing' but it really gets sadder if you think about it? Like imagine knowing that any day you or a family member or one of your closest friends could go missing at any time, and just needing to...except that. And it would explain Pete's admittedly little to no reaction to Richie and Ruth's deaths, while he still might be upset over it, he came to terms with that possibility years ago. everyone did. always at the back of each residents mind, that today it was a stranger, a name you wouldn't even remember an hour from now, but tomorow? It could be you. It could be someone you love.

And then i got thinking a bit more: we see a lot of shit like this throughout Hatchetfield (while its probably for the sake of keeping the episodes seperate, im pretty sure nmt2 all takes place in the same timeline, and like. Thirty people are mentioned to have died in Killer Track??? The honey queens go missing every year[well, leave town the day they went missing and never contact anyone in hatchetfield ever again but you have to admit thats suspicious] People just. going missing at Abstinence Camp and no one looking into it???) but all that aside. What I cant wrap my head around is 'Hatchet Town'. the entire song is about the citizens of hatchetfield getting paranoid and pointing fingers and in general getting aggressive over the murder of two teens. But??? 'By Best Of You' everyones just. stopped caring. Shapiro can be explained away a bit by her seeing Max, but with the killing of three teenagers, the mayors secretary and the 'disappearance' of the mayor any normal school would probably. Cancel homecoming. (I could probably also go into a whole thing about how the specific way richie was killed and the MESSAGE WRITTEN IN HIS BLOOD point towards the killer being a student. which you would really think would lead to the canceling of an event like this). And they just??? Decide to still hold the event??? (which is even funnier knowing that ANOTHER STUDENT GETS KILLED AT HOMECOMING)

So uh. Not even sure what the point of this post is anymore. I refuted my own post and then refuted that. Now im just confused. What The Fuck Is Going On In Hatchetfield. Why did all the residents of hatchetfield fucking swing to the other extreme for three minutes and fourty seconds. huh.

[p-artsypants]

A Kiss a Day Makes a Viking Cra...zy

Ever since the end of the Dragon War, Astrid has rewarded Hiccup with little kisses for doing something right. It was a little ritual, a punch and then a kiss. But after the end of the war with the Berserkers, Astrid claims he doesn't need the kisses anymore.

Hiccup begs to differ, and does something stupid and drastic about it.

Ao3 | FF.net

“I could get used to it.” That was supposed to be a joke, an instinctual reaction to being thrown for a lovely dovey loop. 

It was not supposed to be a challenge, which at this point, Hiccup wondered if that’s how Astrid took it.

The format was always the same. A punch on the arm, or stomach, or some other tender spot for a mistake, and then followed by a kiss. The kiss wasn’t necessarily given a stated reason anymore, just implied to be earned when something good was done. Especially for good things no one else was going to recognize him for. Kind of like the ultimate critique sandwich, but backwards and open faced. Or a reversal of the Honey and the Hatchet. 

Really, it was just Astrid’s thing. 

The second kiss came a week after the first. Hiccup was still getting used to his prosthetic leg and spent most time getting around on Toothless. Despite this, he was doing his best to acclimate the Dragons and villagers to each other. He worked hard and did his best, but it wasn’t until Stoick allowed them to start the dragon academy that things were starting to fall into place. 

As Hiccup watched the sign placed on top of the old kill ring, he felt a sense of pride. Then a punch to the arm. “Ow!” 

“That’s for working so hard when you should still be resting,” Astrid scolded. 

“Well, I’d love to! But with all the dragons still settling and everyone getting used to—” 

Astrid cut him off with a kiss, watching as he kept his eyes closed after for a moment before fluttering open. 

“But you did good. I think this’ll be a lot of fun.” 

“Uh huh,” he grinned. 

The next one was given after Gobber started his Dragon dentistry practice. The punch was because Hiccup had let Gobber’s imagination run wild and almost caused damage to the dragons. But the kiss was just as sweet as it had ever been. 

Another came after the first snow of the season. Astrid challenged him to a friendly race down the mountain, riding the snow instead of flying. Their game got a little rowdier than it should have and their shenanigans caused an avalanche. On dragons, one merely needs to fly away, but Hiccup was out of luck as the snow froze Toothless’ tail shut. 

Astrid was determined to help and steered Stormfly close to try. All this really accomplished was getting them both knocked into a gorge. 

“Astrid?”

“Hiccup, over here…I’m freezing.” 

Hiccup crawled over to where he heard her voice in the darkness. “Come here, I got you.” 

Astrid likewise reached out for him, finding his scrawny body and wrapping her arms around him to suck up whatever heat he had. In return, he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his hands over her back and arms. 

“Where are the dragons?” He asked, teeth chattering. 

Toothless warbled in response, and then blasted up at the ceiling of ice. The light illuminated the area for a moment, and melted the ice a little, water dripping down on them. Stormfly did the same, her flame bursting like a torch. 

With the light, they could see both dragons had their wings raised and formed a sort of tent around them to keep them from being buried in the snow. 

“Wow…they protected us.” 

“Amazing,” Astrid breathed, and then turned to look at him. 

Whoa he was close! Their noses almost touched! Both scrambled a few inches away, still holding onto each other’s arms for warmth, but separated their bodies. 

“Oh! Yeah, so uh…we’re good now. No peril!” 

“Yep,” she cleared her throat. She was determined not to be awkward, and punched him. 

“Ow!” 

“For starting the avalanche,” she explained. 

“Me starting it? Oh I don’t think so! I’m pretty sure—“ 

As if he hadn’t learned better by now, Astrid cut him off with a tiny kiss. 

“Uh…for keeping you warm?” 

“Wow, you really are a genius.” 

“Hey!”

Almost weekly, Hiccup did something that Astrid decided deserved a kiss. From helping his father tame a Thunderdrum, to saving the village dragons from the illness of the blue oleander, Astrid was there with the one-two punch. 

The Snoggletog kiss was well appreciated, he thought. Bringing back all the other dragons and having to be alone without Toothless for the holidays would have been tough. But thankfully, that moment of melancholy didn’t last and Toothless arrived just in time, with a gift of his own. 

Heather almost threw off their ritual with her arrival and upset, but once Astrid got her ‘not jealousy’ under control, they were able to help her instead. Hiccup could have sworn the kiss that came later was more intense and lasted longer than usual. 

 He got one for throwing Thawfest so that Snotlout could preserve the honor of his family name. That kiss was bittersweet, because Snotlout’s bragging had been beyond hurtful. 

The day Hiccup had been struck by lightning, he was pretty sure he was done for. That would be the last of his great deeds. But he awoke with a splitting headache, a gross taste in his mouth, and a cool new scar on his left side. Astrid was there, sitting with him and Toothless while he recovered. 

“Hey,” she said, her voice wet. 

“Hi,” he breathed. For a moment he panicked. He threw the covers back and saw that he was still just missing the one leg. He breathed a sigh of relief. “For a second there, I thought I lost another one.” 

She leaned over him. “Nope. Just a little singed hair.” She flicked his ear. 

“Ow!” 

“That’s for scaring me.” 

“Well, sorry! I had to prove—!” 

Predictably, she interrupted him with a kiss. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” She breathed after pulling away. 

“Just…stop me before I do something stupid like that again.” 

On and on, through thick and thin, the only constants were Toothless at his side and Astrid’s kisses. 

It had been a long long year. With everything they had been through with the Outcasts, Dagur, and the Screaming Death, Hiccup was prepared to take a long vacation, hopefully not needing to fight or strategize for a long time. 

Or ever, if he could help it. 

He said as much to his father. “I’d soon just as well leave the chiefing to you.” Though he knew he would have his own problems with the dragons and training them. But that was paltry compared to fighting a war. 

In fact, he probably needed the days of insanity to balance out the days of peace. A little chaos to keep life spicy. 

As he finished his evening flight, he saw Astrid and Stormfly sitting on the high cliff looking over the town, watching the sunset. He was drawn to her, no matter how exhausted his body was. Seeing her, sitting beside her, talking to her, that was peace. That was refreshing. 

Toothless landed behind her, and once Hiccup dismounted, he was off chasing Stormfly. 

“Hi,” Astrid greeted, as his feet touched grass. 

“Evening,” he smiled widely. “May I join you?” 

“So polite! Of course.” She grinned. 

Hiccup plopped down beside her, his hand resting close to hers, not quite touching, but enough to feel the heat and invite her to instigate the touch. 

“I’m really proud of you,” she began, not looking away from the sky. “You did amazing today.” 

“Well, thanks! It was…crazy. I thought I might die there a few times.” 

“You saved the Island. You stopped the war with the Outcasts and Berserkers. We finally have peace.” 

“Well, at least for now. We thought we’d have peace after we killed the Red Death. It didn’t take long for new enemies to pop up.” 

“Old enemies,” Astrid corrected. “The peace with the dragons just made way for the Outcasts to get back into it. And we all knew Dagur was going to be a problem when he became Chief. Don’t be so pessimistic.” 

“You’re right. As usual.” 

She elbowed him gently, a smirk on her lips. 

Hiccup could feel it on the horizon. Their ritual was upon them, and maybe even more significant now that he was anticipating it. In fact, this time, he determined he would kiss her back. Maybe hold her face so she wouldn’t pull away too quickly. 

That was a sign of maturity, wasn’t it? Not letting his knees knock together and his stomach twist at the mere thought of kissing Astrid? 

“So…” He began, desperate to get the ball rolling. 

“Hmm?” 

“Aren’t you…going to give the ol’ one two punch?” 

She glanced at him, one eyebrow raised.

“You know…the punch for doing something stupid, and then…” he tried not to smile at the insinuation. He had to play it cool, coy, afterall. 

“Nah,” she shrugged. “Not this time.” 

He deflated. “Oh.” 

But Astrid wasn’t finished there. She decided to deliver a new ‘one two punch’. “I don’t think you need that anymore.” 

The breath was knocked out of his lungs. “What?” 

“Yeah. You’ve come a long way in your self assurance since those early days. You have so much more confidence now! The village trusts you, even Snotlout trusts you! You don’t need me to give those extra boosts.” 

He felt sick. An absolutely gut-churning sickness. That’s what she was doing? Improving his self worth? 

Well, it had worked, he supposed. 

“I…I didn’t realize…” 

She patted his back, a nice strong slap. “I noticed. You took down this massive monster of a dragon, saved thousands of lives, and when thanked for it, you curled into yourself and brushed it off. Like you didn’t deserve it. But you did!” 

“I mean…I’m still not proud of myself for killing a dragon.” 

“You don’t have to be proud about that part. But you should be proud of rescuing the village after being disowned. Proud of standing up tall in the face of fear. And you should be proud of all that came after it. The friendships that were made, how the entire worldview of Vikings has flipped upside down. You did that.” 

Hiccup swallowed, “yeah, I guess.” 

“And now you’re owning it. You don’t need me anymore.” 

“Wha-wha-what?! That’s crazy talk! Of course I still need you, Astrid! You’ve been my greatest support since the beginning.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, stupid.” She nudged him. “I’m still here to give my support and guidance, but you don’t need me to superficially inflate your ego.” 

“B-but…” 

She stood, giving his head a fond rub. “You’re doing great. Don’t forget that. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” 

“...okay.” He sighed, feeling really rather lousy. 

Astrid didn’t seem to notice, or anticipated he’d take this news poorly. But she just said a cheery goodbye and went to get Stormfly. Then she was gone, leaving the worst kind of heartbreak in her wake. 

Toothless, however, picked up on Hiccup’s mood immediately and went to comfort him as soon as Stormfly left the ground. He nuzzled under Hiccup’s arm and crooned. 

“Thanks bud. I…I’m so stupid. I should have known she didn’t—” The thought was too sad for him to continue. “I should have known.” 

He didn’t sleep well that night. He was pretty sure he didn’t sleep at all. 

Because of what Astrid had said about his self-assurance and being proud of his accomplishments, he tried not to let the hurt show. It was extremely hard, however, and he found himself longing for her more and more when he saw her. Before her speech, he’d say his affection towards Astrid bordered on healthy; a camaraderie between childhood friends, sprinkled with moments and hints of something more. Now, with her withholding that ‘something special’, something unlocked inside of Hiccup. A new, weird and unfamiliar set of desires. He wanted to hold her close, touch her skin, smell her hair. 

Just the thought of it made him blush in shame.   

Hiccup and Astrid. Two peas in a pod. Eggs and bacon. Best of friends who were always together when possible. It had become so commonplace, that everyone noticed something was wrong. 

It only would have been more jarring if Toothless had been the one to say ‘you don’t need me anymore’ and only came around to visit. 

Astrid wasn’t acting any different, and that might have been the hardest part. She still sought him out at the forge or at the academy for company. Only now, when Hiccup heard her calling, he went running and hiding. 

He just couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle spending time with her knowing she had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. 

There was this bitter part of him that claimed she wasted his time. How dare she kiss him and…and train him like a pet! Oh the more he thought about it, the angrier he became! 

And why did it have to be kisses?! Darkly, he wondered if she was trying him out, seeing if he was what she wanted in a partner, only to ultimately decide he wasn’t what she was looking for. 

Talk about a blow to his self-esteem! 

“Hiccup?” Fishlegs asked, standing outside the forge. 

“Oh, hey Fishlegs.” 

“I was wondering if we could…not run drills today?” 

“You can sit out if you want to,” Hiccup assured. “You’ve been doing really good.” 

“Well, that’s the thing. I feel like I’m running those drills in my sleep! Can we do something else? Maybe all the dragon riders can go explore a nearby island. See if there’s any dragon behavior to study?” 

“You know what? That’s a great idea. You guys can go off and explore. I didn’t really have any ideas for lessons anyway.” 

“What about you? You don’t want to come with us?” 

“No, don’t worry about me. In fact, I need to work on my leg and not having the academy stuff to worry about will give me way more time to work on it.” 

“Your leg? What’s wrong with your leg?” 

“Growth spurt!” Gobber interjected cheerfully. “Our little Hiccup has gained two inches in the last month! That’s a record, that is!” 

“And I’m leaning,” Hiccup added. “So I have to decide if I’m going to add a block or just make a new one.” 

“What if you made it telescoping?” Suggested Fishlegs. “So if you grow more, you can make it longer! Then once you think you’re done, you can make a final leg!” 

“That’s not a bad idea, Fishlegs!” Hiccup cheered. 

“It’ll be tricky to get it to hold your weight if it telescopes,” Gobber argued. “But you’re clever enough, you can figure it out.” 

“It might take me a few days. Can you handle the riders in the meantime?” 

“Are you sure?” Asked Fishlegs. “You love leading the academy!” 

“Yeah well, this is more important right now. I’m…I need a project to just focus on.” 

“Well, if you’re sure. I’m sure me and Astrid can come up with things to do.” 

Just hearing her name brought heat to his face. “You uh…you do that.” 

Fishlegs saluted. “Can do!” 

Gobber keenly absorbed this info, and as Hiccup went into the back to get to work, he slipped out to have a chat with Stoick. 

—

That night, Hiccup came home to find Gobber and his father waiting for him. 

“Whoa…hey?” He smiled awkwardly. “What’s with the…disapproving looks? Did I do something wrong?” 

Stoick came right out and said it. “What happened with Astrid?” 

His face flushed. “What? What makes you think something happened with Astrid?! That’s crazy! Ha! Actually, it’s the exact opposite! Nothing happened with Astrid…absolutely nothing.” 

“Well,” Gobber smirked. “I’m convinced.” 

“You can talk to us, son. We’re here to guide you.” 

Hiccup didn’t doubt they meant well, but it wasn’t exactly something he wanted to talk about. Then again, he could do with some validation. It’d be so nice to hear, ‘aye lad, what she did was cruel’. 

Inevitably, Hiccup sighed. “Astrid…she said she’s not going to kiss me anymore.” 

The two men looked surprised, like they weren’t expecting that to be the problem. 

“Go on,” said Stoick, eyebrow rising. 

“Okay, so…you remember how she kissed me after I lost my leg?” 

“Aye! In front of everyone! You know how many people asked about wedding arrangements after that?” Stoick asked. 

“Ugh, don’t tell me.” Hiccup went over and sat by the fire, collecting his thoughts and how to say the rest. “Well…after that, it kind of became a ritual. She’d kiss me, but only as a reward for doing something good. It was never really spontaneous. And we weren’t like…courting or anything.” He sighed. “She just told me that she doesn’t need to do that anymore because my self esteem has improved. And she said it so casually…I didn’t know that’s what she was doing. I thought…maybe…” 

He expected the men to offer condolences, and then words to the effect of ‘buck up boy-o.’

But no. They laughed. Hard. 

Hiccup shrank in his seat. “Wow, thanks. My heart feels so much better.” 

Stoick sat next to him and swept him into a hug. “Aw lad, we’re not laughing at you.” 

“Pretty sure you did.” 

“Nah, it’s only funny because it’s so predictable!” Gobber assured. 

“Predictable? I didn’t see this coming at all.” 

Stoick squeezed his shoulder. “Teenagers are so dramatic. Even the calmest and most rational ones still find a way to make a mess.” 

“Wh-what are you saying? That this is my fault?”  

“Yes and no.” 

“How is this my fault?! What did I do?!” 

“Did you ever kiss her back? Initiate the kisses on your own?” 

Hiccup shrank on himself. “No…but I wanted to.” 

“Oh, so you told her that?” 

“...no.��� 

“Well, there you go!” Stoick gestured with a sweep of the arms, like everything was so obvious. 

“You’ve lost me,” Hiccup admitted. 

Stoick smiled knowingly, like he knew a great big secret he was keeping close to the chest. “Astrid, for all her strength as a warrior, is still a woman. And women never say what they mean. It’s like they have their own language.” 

“That’s kinda rude…” 

“Lad, she likes you. Everyone knows that. She wouldn’t be kissing you if she didn’t.” 

“Well, maybe at one time!” Hiccup leapt to his feet, slipping on his shorter foot before regaining his balance. “But she was so nonchalant about it, like she was relieved of her duties.” 

“She’s just playing cold.” 

“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. Astrid isn’t like that.” 

“Oh lad, you’re going to drive me crazy,” Stoick pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, she’s putting the ball in your court. She’s constantly been making moves on you to get you to see her feelings, and you haven’t responded. So now, she’s putting it up to you to make things official if you want, or pretend like there’s nothing romantic between you. What you need to do is a grand gesture of some sort. An acknowledgement of this thing between you. She’s tired, and it’s your turn.” 

Hiccup looked into the fire before slowly sitting down. “That seems…really complicated.” 

“Love is complicated.” 

Hiccup felt his cheeks burn at the ‘L’ word. 

“You love her, don’t you?” Stoick asked. “I can tell. I think everyone can.” 

Hiccup buried his head in his hands. “But what if you’re wrong?” 

“I’m not.” 

“But what if you are!? A grand gesture of affection could ruin what little friendship I have left with Astrid!” 

“And not doing it would ruin it, and the possibility of anything more.” 

More. The hand holding, the hair touching, the late night rendezvous to the cove…

“I don’t know…” He groaned. “This is stupid.” 

“Give it a few days,” Stoick advised. “Finish up your leg, and just keep it in the back of your mind. I’m sure you’ll figure it all out.” 

“Your faith in me is astounding.” 

“Well, it’s proved to be fruitful in the past. Why would it be any different now?” 

Hiccup sighed, but smiled in appreciation. It was nice knowing that Stoick was so confident in him. Hiccup just wished he could be that confident. 

—

It took a week to build his new leg. In that time, Astrid came to visit three times. At first, she demanded to know what he was working on and why he wasn’t training with them. When he showed her the schematics for his leg, she seemed rather pleased and didn’t ask anymore questions. She would stay for a while, recounting all that had happened in the day. She complained about Snotlout and the twins, described in the most vivid detail she could the landscapes they saw, and excitedly shared the tidbits of dragon behavior discovered. 

All over, she pretended like everything was fine, and like she didn’t have Stormfly skewer his heart with a Nadder spine. 

Everytime she left, she’d give a cheerful farewell and Hiccup would find himself falling more in love. When did she grow her hair out? Her bangs were no longer a straight fringe she hid an eye behind, but a wave of blond feathers that framed her face. When did she get those curves? Those hips? Those legs?

And when did he start to care about those things?

After a week of hard thinking, he had a finished leg and a plan for Astrid. It was one of his riskier plans, kinda stupid and kinda crazy. But those were her favorite! All he had to do was speak her language…the language of warriors and vikings. 

And, more importantly, it provided Astrid an out. She could take it, and they would simply never talk about this again. And everything would be fine! 

Yeah right. 

It was mid morning, when most of the village was up in the Great Hall having breakfast and sharing the latest gossip and news. If there was ever a time to make a grand gesture, it was now. 

Hiccup and Toothless stood outside the hall, listening to the buzzing crowd. Hiccup was shaking like a leaf, as Toothless nosed him inside. 

He took a deep breath and started walking with purpose towards the head table, where his father was currently seated. He muttered a mantra of ‘this is stupid, I’m so stupid, this is stupid, I’m so stupid’ under his breath. 

Once he reached his father’s table, Stoick smiled at him. “Morning son!” 

Hiccup didn’t respond, too in the zone to do so. Instead, he climbed on the table, careful not to step in his father’s porridge. 

“Ohh is it happenin’?” Asked Gobber, giggling like a teenager. 

Some people stopped talking when they saw him stand, but the whole room fell dead silent as he yelled, “Astrid Hofferson!” At the top of his lungs. 

She looked at him, shocked and surprised. 

He pointed at her, “I’m calling you out!” 

Snotlout sprayed milk out his nose. 

“You, me, a brawl to work out our differences! Tavern style, no armor, no weapons, just fists!” 

Astrid yelled back, “Differences?! What differences?!” 

He didn’t answer her directly, but elaborated. “If you win, I will make you four weapons of your choice. But if I win…you agree to be my betrothed!”

Then the Hall erupted in screaming, like girlish giddy screaming. Mostly from Fishlegs and the twins. Astrid turned very, very red. 

Hiccup held up his hand for silence, then added. “You may turn down this challenge, but that will forfeit the offer of the weapons. What say you?” 

He held his breath and waited, taking in the spectrum of emotions running over Astrid’s face. First shock, then embarrassment, then rage. 

Not a great sign, he supposed. 

With a snarl on her face, she climbed on her own table, and shouted right back at him. “Tonight, in the arena, kiss your ass goodbye!” 

—

“Lad, that wasn’t exactly the grand gesture I had in mind,” said Stoick. 

“Well, think about it,” Hiccup offered. “If she wants to be my betrothed, she can let me win. If not, she gets to beat me up, humiliating me in front of the village, and then she gets a bunch of weapons out of it. It’s a win-win, right?” 

Stoick laughed. “If you say so.” 

“And I do,” Hiccup said resolutely. “You told me to make a grand gesture, and did it in a way that speaks Astrid’s language. Brawling!” 

There was a knock at the door. 

“Oh I hope that’s not Astrid…” Hiccup lamented. 

No, it was Snotlout, standing with a big, wide, smug grin. 

“What do you want?” Hiccup droned, not in the mood. 

“Oh, I’m just here to give you a nice long look. I want to memorize your face so I can mourn you properly after death.” 

“Snotlout, it’s a Tavern Style brawl. She’s not going to kill me. Besides, she needs me alive to make those weapons that were promised.” 

Snotlout laughed. “You have a point there, little Hiccup. But Astrid’s still going to rearrange your face!” 

“Unless she throws the fight and agrees to marry me?” 

“Un-fricken-likely! We all know that Astrid’s got her eyes on me. We quarrel like an old married couple already!” He preened. “Why would she want a bean pole like you?” 

“Oh look at the time, so sorry you have to leave, Snotlout! See you later!” And he slammed the door in his face. “Jerk.” 

“Now don’t let Snotlout get to you, lad.” 

“I can’t help it. It’s the same thing I was thinking before you convinced me to go through this farce. I’m pretty extra sure she’s going to hate me. Maybe I should just get to work on those weapons now. I’m sure she’ll pick an axe at least.” 

“Stop imagining the worst case scenario, lad. You don’t know how this is going to go. Astrid may surprise you.” 

“Yeah, with her fist.” He covered his face with his hands. “Why oh why did I do this?” 

“I think your feelings are interfering with your thinking.” 

“Oh you think?” Hiccup snapped. “Sorry, I just…thought that would go over better. She looked really mad. Like, I’ve never seen her look at me that mad before. I think the closest was when I was picked to fight the Nightmare in the ring back then.” 

“Think of it this way: she feels intensely for you.” 

“That doesn’t help.” 

“So, do you want some pointers? Wanna give this fight the ol’ viking try?” 

“If you can spar and not snap me in half, we can give it a go.” 

—

Hiccup made his way down to the arena early, wanting to beat the questioning crowd. He really didn’t want to be cornered by Mrs. Larson or some other busybody. He barely had answers for his father, let alone anyone else. 

The cage was raised, and some of the men were assembling wooden benches for audience seating. Hiccup wondered if seating was even necessary with how short the fight was expected to last. 

Gobber arrived, looking just as smug as Snotlout had been. 

“I really don’t want to hear it,” Hiccup sighed. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Gobber laughed. “I’m just here to wish my apprentice luck in his fight.” 

“Gee thanks.” 

“I’m going to be mediating the fight, so you throw me the signal when you want me to call it.”

“What about,” he raised his voice, “AGH Gobber! Call the fight, call the fight!” 

“Aye, that’ll work.” 

“Anything else I should know?” 

“Well, it’s best to show your opponent that you aren’t wearing any armor, so take your shirt off.” 

He pulled the green tunic off and tossed it over by the wall. “...she’s not going to, right?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

“Gobber!” 

“Kidding! Kidding! I don’t know what Astrid will do. I’m just giving you some guidance. You’ve never had a proper tavern brawl, have you?”

“What is that, like an oxymoron?”

“You just fight until you can’t anymore. First one to concede or fall unconscious loses.” 

“Sounds pretty straight forward.” 

“A simple sport for a simple people.” 

And then all the air left his lungs as Astrid sauntered into the arena, not wearing her pauldrons, arm bands, knee pads, or armored skirt. So just her sleeveless blue shirt and leggings. As she entered, she toed out of her boots and left them by the gate. Then she walked over. 

“Well, are you prepared?” She asked, hands on her hips. 

“D…uh…huh…” He swallowed. 

With a roll of her eyes, and reached out and took his hand. Then she expertly wrapped his knuckles with a cloth strip, then did the other hand. “Now, what do you say?” 

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.” She smirked, giving a patronizing pat to his face before wrapping up her own hands. 

Hiccup shook off his boot. “I’ll uh…I’ll try not to step on your toes with my metal foot.” 

“You won’t,” she assured. 

“Um…may the best viking win?” He grinned awkwardly. 

Astrid gave him a side eye, smirked, and said, “I’m not going to go easy on you.” 

His shoulders sank. “I think that answers my question.” 

“Your dumb idea,” she muttered, going over to the other side of the arena. 

All there was left to do was wait for people to gather to watch him fail miserably. He paced across the dusty floor, occasionally looking over to Astrid to gauge her mood. 

She was stretching, her face neutral and focused. He watched as she bent at the waist and stretched her arms to the sky. Without her armor, he could see her silhouette, her girlish form that would haunt his dreams for possibly the rest of his life. 

He was taken aback by how dainty her feet were. He’d never seen them out of her boots, which was strange, considering how long they’d known each other. 

She lifted her leg back and grabbed it to stretch it behind her head. 

The action made Hiccup squeak. 

“Are you going to stretch?” She called over. “Or snap in half?” 

“Only if you’re doing the snapping.” 

She glared at him. 

Not wanting to make her any angrier, he turned away and attempted to stretch, but it was mostly just swinging his arms around in circles. 

People were gathering, though they didn’t look pumped for a fight, just interested and kind of bored. Most people were just standing, not bothering to sit. 

That was embarrassing. 

Finally, when it looked like those that cared were assembled, Gobber called everyone to attention. “Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to tonight’s entertainment. You know them from the Academy, but this isn’t a challenge between dragons, but fists!” 

People chanted ‘hoo hoo hoo’ from above. 

“Turn him into a pancake!” Ruffnut shouted. 

“Turn his face inside out!” Tuffnut called. 

“Make him regret being born!” Snotlout screamed. 

“Maybe just rough him up a little?” Fishlegs asked. 

“Brawlers, step up!” Gobber beckoned them both forward to stand an arm's length away. “Alright, shake hands.” 

Astrid held out her hand, and smiled at him. “No hard feelings?”

“Of course!” He took her hand. “Please don’t hate me, Astrid. I don’t want to lose you.” 

She frowned, almost a pout. “You won’t lose me. But how mad I will be will depend on how well you perform. Show me what you’re made of.” 

“What? I can’t hit you!” 

“Hiccup!”  

“Alright brawlers, on your mark!” 

“What do you mean you can’t hit me? Why did you want to fight me then?!” 

“Get set…” 

“I figured you’d throw the fight if you wanted to—” 

“I would never!” 

“Go!” 

“Yaah!” Astrid took a step forward and threw her body weight into her fist, which collided with Hiccup’s jaw. It almost felt like slow motion for Hiccup, as he saw that beautiful, almost dainty hand, soar right for his face, and then connect with an audible slap. 

He staggered backwards, feeling his cheek already starting to swell. 

Astrid didn’t give him a second to recover before her elbow was in his stomach, then her palm in his jaw. 

Colors burst behind his eyelids. 

“Check this out!” She called to someone in the stands. Their friends? Her family?

Hiccup suddenly found her legs wrapped around his head, his neck crushed in the crook of her knee. Then she was cranking, twisting, flinging…and he was skittering, slamming, and dying. 

Well, not dying, but he certainly felt like it. 

Astrid appeared above him, leaning over to meet his eyes. “Are you done? Or are you thirsty for more?” 

In that moment, haloed by the pinks and oranges of the setting sun, Astrid looked like a Valkyrie. 

“Astrid…” he sang, eyes droopy and head loopy. 

“Gobber, he’s incoherent. I think this thing is over.” 

“I thought this fight would be quick but that was…well, pathetic.” He took Astrid’s hand and raised it into the air. “We have our champion! Astrid Hofferson!” 

“Who hoo!” Snotlout’s voice cut over the crowd. “Astrid’s still single!” 

“Don’t even think about it, Snotlout!” 

Hiccup closed his eyes. It was over, and he had his answer. The pain in his face was secondary to the pain in his heart. She truly didn’t care about him the way he wanted. It was so unfair! 

When he next opened his eyes, he was at home, and it was dark out. Toothless warbled, signaling to the chief that he was awake. 

“Did I win?” Hiccup asked. 

“Lad, you didn’t even land a hit.” 

“I wouldn’t kill a dragon, and I wouldn’t hit a girl…unless she was an Outcast or Berserker and she was armed.” 

“Well, regardless, you lost. Sorry about that, son.” 

Hiccup wanted to point out that he was right all along. But being right in this case tasted pretty sour. “Yeah.” He sighed. 

“Here.” Stoick handed him a block of ice wrapped in cloth. “Your gettin’ a real nice bruise. Astrid would be proud.” 

“Of her handiwork?” 

“Exactly.” 

“She didn’t throw the fight,” he said. “She really doesn’t like me.” 

“Well, I think there’s more to this than there seems…” 

“No! Dad, I gave her an opportunity to tell me what she thinks of me, and she made it clear. I don’t know how much clearer it could be!” His voice broke, a sign that tears were on the horizon. He tossed the ice on the table. “I…I need some air.” 

“You shouldn’t go flying,” the chief scolded softly. “Not with a head injury.” 

“‘Kay, I’m just going to sit out by the cliff. Look at the stars, contemplate my existence. You know, boy stuff.” 

“Are you going to put on a shirt? Or are you intending to freeze to death?”  

“I’m intending to freeze to death,” he confirmed. 

“I see. Just be careful.” 

“I will, dad.” And he flung the door open, only to find Astrid standing on the other side, hand raised to knock. 

“Oh! I was just coming to check on you…you okay?” 

“Peachy.” He shrugged, moving past her. 

“Look, Hiccup…” 

“You don’t have to say a thing, alright?” He held his hands out to keep her back. “Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen, okay? Of course I’ll still make you the weapons promised, but the rest of it…just forget it.” 

“Nuh uh.” She shook her head, taking a step closer. “Hiccup Haddock, you owe me an explanation.” 

Hiccup exhaled loudly, and opted to turn and start walking towards the cliff. 

Astrid silently watched, and then followed. 

Astrid plopped down beside him, her hand resting close to his, not quite touching, but enough to feel the heat and invite him to instigate the touch. 

“So…who put you up to that? Your dad?” 

Hiccup picked a blade of grass and started pulling it apart. “No…no this one was all me.” 

“What were you thinking?” 

“I…wasn’t. Not really. I just—“ he paused, not really wanting to say the rest of the truth. Did he really want to rehash this over again? 

“Did you really want to be betrothed to me?” She needled. 

He picked another blade of grass, not looking at her. “Yep.” 

“Why?” 

Gods, she picked the toughest question. Well, he had the answer, it was just the hardest to say out loud. 

“Because that’s where I get really mad,” she continued. “You’re going to be chief eventually, and you need a wife and heir, I get that. So, did you just want to pick the best warrior in the village? Or get me before Snotlout can try to trick my parents into a contract? Or was I simply convenient for you? Why, Hiccup?” 

He pulled his mouth into a tight line. 

“Why, Hiccup?” She demanded. 

There was no way out of this. Might as well just tell her and get it over with. He tossed the strips of grass over the edge, then peered to look at her. “Because I love you.” 

Her furrowed brow soothed as her mouth fell open slightly. “Since…when?” 

“Ugh,” he covered his face. “Since like, forever.” 

“That’s a lie,” She snapped. 

He scoffed. “My dad said it’s obvious, that everyone knows.” 

“Oh? Well nobody else is kissing you on the lips! If they experienced what I feel, they’d know that was a lie!” 

“And what do you feel?” 

The absolute hurt on her face was palpable as she snarled, “You never kissed me back! Kissing you is like kissing a wall!” 

He gasped. “My dad was right!” 

She blinked several times. “Excuse me?” 

“Oh gods, this is all my fault!” He staggered to his feet and started pacing. 

“Wait, now I’m confused. What was your dad right about?” 

“That you didn’t—that I—that we—!” 

Astrid also got to her feet and went to him, realizing he was hyperventilating. “Hey, hey…take a breath there, pal.” 

He sighed. “Astrid, I’m sorry I never kissed you back, or initiated anything. I definitely would have, but…I didn’t know if I was allowed to.” 

She frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, you’re Astrid! You do what you want! I didn’t know what the kisses meant. And just last week you said you were only trying to boost my self esteem.” 

She groaned. “I only said that because you never kissed me back, so I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable! I thought you didn’t like it!” 

“Didn’t like it?!” He laughed incredulously. “Astrid, when you told me you weren’t going to kiss me anymore, I was so devastated. You could have told me the sun was going out and I wouldn’t have been so upset.” He slowly reached out and took her hands. “Those kisses stayed with me on my darkest days, and encouraged me to go onward. So many times, I thought ‘maybe this will be worthy of a kiss’. They…they knocked me out. Overwhelmed me. Honestly, I was just always so frozen.” He rubbed his head. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you have to brawl with me?” 

He barked a sad laugh, “did you know I have self esteem problems?” 

“They’re better now!” She insisted. 

“They were, until the girl I loved basically told me she doesn’t love me.” 

“I did not!” 

“You said you were only doing it to raise my self esteem! And you just said so earlier when you thought I didn't like you!” 

“Ugh!” She stomped her foot. “Hiccup, we are going in circles here! I was trying to encourage you and reward you for doing the right thing and I decided to do it with a kiss because I love you! There! Clear as mud?!” 

“You…love me back?” 

“Yes!” She shouted, exasperated. 

“Then…do you want to get married at some point?” 

“Sure! I’d love to!” She shouted again, with just as much frustration spilling out. She threw her arms up. 

Hiccup started smiling. “So…you aren’t mad at me anymore?” 

“Oh I’m mad!” She snarled. “I’m mad because you didn’t just talk to me! You’ve always been so honest. You’ve always spoken your mind to me! Why was this so different?”

He sheepishly raised his shoulders. “You know, maybe I would have eventually, but Gobber and my dad figured out something was wrong and wrestled it out of me. Then dad said you probably wanted a grand gesture…and there was something about how women speak their own language…I wasn’t thinking clearly, I’ll admit. But…I thought you’d appreciate it?” He squeaked. 

Astrid looked at him flatly. “You thought I’d appreciate it?” 

“Yes! The chance to throw the fight if you wanted me, or punch me in the face and win some swords if you didn’t! No embarrassment, you look good either way!” 

She sighed. “Hiccup, I would never throw a fight. I’m incapable of it.”

“Oh…yeah, I should have thought about that.” 

“Was that your first ‘grand gesture’ you thought of?” 

“Oh no, of course not. But the first ones were a little too impersonal.” 

“Like…?” She hinted. 

“Like bringing you a big bouquet of flowers, or writing poetry, or something cheesy. I didn’t want to do anything that could be used on another girl. I wanted to do something for you. Maybe I should have given it another week of thought.” 

She smiled at him. “Well, when you say it like that, I get it.”

“That’s a relief.” 

The animosity in the air seemed to just fizzle, as the truth was laid bare. No more secrets, no more uncertainty, everything was out in the open. “So now what?” Astrid shrugged. “Do we go talk to my parents?” 

“In a minute, I have something important I have to do first.” 

“Oh yeah?” She shuffled closer to him. 

“Yeah…” 

Since when did this height difference happen? He was looking down at her, and she had to tilt her head to look at him. 

He placed his hands on her waist, drawing her closer. Then he slid his hands over her back, feeling her body under his fingertips. 

Her hands rested on his bare chest. “Aren’t you cold?” 

“Not remotely,” he whispered, leaning in. 

Finally, finally he kissed her. His lips just laid upon hers, savoring the softness. He was going to enjoy this. He was going to take his time. 

She pulled away with a tiny smack. “That was ni—” 

He kissed her again, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. 

Astrid inhaled sharply, before sliding her arms up around his neck and burying her fingers in his hair. He nipped at her lips, stumbling to figure out how it all worked, but letting passion and instinct drive him. 

Finally, he pulled away, looking down at her. “I need some practice,” he said honestly. 

She smiled, playing with his fluffy tufts as she gazed up at him in adoration. “Whenever you want, I’m game.” 

“Maybe you should help me practice my brawling, too. Gobber said my performance was pathetic.” 

“I’d be careful with that one,” she said, her voice low. “If I pin you, we might have something else to worry about.” 

He chuckled, his face warming with a blush. “Works for me!” 

[cambria-writes]

1600+ words into the next honey chapter and honestly i'm having to fan myself, this is ridiculous. idk if i should post a preview of anything else at this point cause this is just 1600 words of pure fucking lmao

anyways hopefully i can post this soon i really can't wait to see how people take it

[no-thoughts-just-the-clouds]

My ranking of Nightmare Time episodes (and illegible ramblings about each bc im not normal about this)

1. Honey Queen- Nibbly and Wiggly fighting over Linda; IM THE LATTE HOTTIE WITH ALL THE CLOUT 🗣️🗣️🗣️; Paul randomly showing up is so funny though; roman sleep with one eye open i am coming for you, you leave our queen Linda alone; all of Linda's kids are named after bodies of water Brooke is her daughter head cannon is growing; villain couples wish they are Gerald and Linda; ah yes these four prepubescent boys *proceeds to show four grown men, two of which has facial hair*

2. Yellow Jacket- made me cry, comedy my butt; Sophia and Daniel they can never make me hate you; i will die for you Hannah; Lex is so me coded (i am an older sister and i have issues); Charles talking about Otho: "even the babies are the most dangerous animals so i built this self destruct device to keep him secure so there's no possible— *otho proceeds to escape* —oh my go-"; Joey as Ethan is kinda 👀, i am looking respectfully sir

3. Time Bastard- KEEP KEEP RUNNING AWAY YOOOOUUUU BASTARD TIME BASTARDDDDDDD 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥; Kim's voice>>>>>>; Tinky really said i will find you in every universe but in the worse way possible; imagine that the reason why pete considers steph the most important person in his life is because the other person he loves the most, his brother ted, is missing and even considered dead, leaving steph as the only person he cares for that is still alive; tinky symbolizes the cycling hell that Ted is stuck in, the labyrinth like halls of his office job alongside his inability to connect with any woman he meets, or just any person in general, aaaandd post

4. Abstinence Camp- VIRGINITY ROCKS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥DON'T TOSS IT AWAY NEVER TOUCH ANYONE ANYONE NOT EVEN YOUR BABE, that was the best song in the entire series i am not accepting criticism; HE'S GOT THE STEPS THAT CRUMBLE HE'S GOT THE MIND OF A PSYCHO 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️, second best song in the show; i am fully convinced grace is the most powerful character besides the LiB in the hatchetverse, with becky being the second because she did defeat her in pitstop; Steph calm down girly 💀; Boy Jerry is one of those news reporters in hatchet town?????; im on lumber axe's side, i too would be very irritated if some horny teenagers decides to do the do in my own home

5. Killer Track- "oh right, he was watching the fireworks" SCREAMING WAILING SOBBING AND THROWING UP; Miss holloway deserves happiness; the upcoming holloduke break up episode is going to destroy me i just know it; Bryce's character designs>>>>>>>; if the LiB always asks for what the summoner treasures the most, then that means all miss holloway ever wanted was to be remembered; is the killer track connected to pokotho!????

6. Perky's Buds- i love you ziggy; ah yes nightmare time, the series of all time; farmer gives bird magical weed and ends up becoming a slave to the nest of nighthawks; the birds throwing up food down their throats vs the entirety of hey melissa, which is more disgusting?; Ezekiel is my favorite Joey character; emma finally gets her dream of a pot farm and it all immediately went up in flames (literally)

7. Watcher World- TRIP TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK GONE WRONG (REAL NOT CLICKBAIT); don't worry alice go on and join us at the "i have parental issues" club; poor snigglet; "Jeff are you drunk again" there goes the fourth wall; kudos to mariah that panic attack scene is well acted and accurate; im kinda shocked that sylvia isn't someone bill made up to spite his ex but alright; the final part of the fight scene between bill and alice will never leave my mind thank you; That one guy shouting out all of bill's insecurities while playing the high striker, like my man james and corey you outdid yourselves

8. Daddy- i did not expect the sherman young lore but alright; sheila young kinda 👀, am looking respectfully ma'am; sheila young please just one chance 🙏; MAN IN A HURRY NAME DROP LETSSSS GOOOO BARRY SWIFT; out of all of the deaths in NT frank's dog is the saddest, change my mind; behind every dirtbag (frank) in hatchetfield is an even bigger dirtbag (sheila & sherman)

9. Forever and Always- Paul 23 & Emmdroid my beloved; THE CONNECTION OF THIS EPISODE WITH TIME BASTARD THOUGH!???? LIKE STARKID YOU ATE; behind every girlboss (Emmdroid) is a malewife (Paul 23); RIP to the real paul and emma but these two clones deserve their weird, happy relationship

10. Hatchetfield Ape Man- "welcome to america, you tea taxing son of a b****"; correct me if I'm wrong but from what i remember none of the events that happened in this episode are connected to the lords in black, all of this was just produced from professor hidgens being unhinged; anything for working boys; "iT's ObViOuSlY a NaKeD mAn" 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️; WHAT IS UP WITH TED AND HENRY COMMITING WAR CRIMES TOGETHER AND ENDS WITH HENRY KILLING TED!???

11. Jane's a Car- G O T M Y F O O T O N T H E G A S; the way my jaw dropped when i found out tom and jafar have the same actor; that ending though; oh wow lore on emma's sister how cool, and then THAT scene happens; Becky barnes you beautiful gorgeous intelligent kind-hearted lady, i need to know the story behind the whole "climbing a tree" thing; the audio playing in the radio when the car crashed being connected to the LiB? These eldritch beings literally looked at these small town jerks and went- "ah yes, these are my favorite humans"

12. The Witch in the Web- MISS HOLLOWAY INTRODUCTION LET'S GOOOO 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️; i wish a very horrible evening to pamela foster; WILEY!?????? THE DAGGER ALSO SHOWING UP IN THE PITSTOP LIVESTREAM!??? I NEED MORE LORE ABOUT THAT DAGGER; Hannah's actress put her entire soul into the acting, goodness gracious.

[torturedpoetsdepartmentemployee]

I have an alternate universe Buggy that's been ratallng around in my head. A female Buggy that's like Taylor Swift, so she got into music and wants to be a singer. She spent most of her time on the Oro building up her guitar and piano skills. She stole the guitar from the musician(was aware but let it happen) and begged Roger to get a piano. She didn't inherently have the greatest vocals and got teased, specifically by Shanks. Dreams of being in front of a crowd cheering her on and singing her songs. Those dreams are what drive her. It goes hand in hand with canon Buggy’s inferiority complex and constantly seeking attention to be a star.

The reason I can imagine it is because Buggy would be the kind to right the most unhinged lyrics that TS is known for. Also a lot of her lyrics reflect Buggy.

Mirrorball - And they called off the circus Burned the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything To keep you looking at me

Me! - I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh I know I never think before I jump And you're the kind of guy the ladies want (And there's a lot of cool chicks out there) I know that I went psycho on the phone I never leave well enough alone And trouble's gonna follow where I go (And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

Karma - ‘Cause karma is my boyfriend Karma is a god Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend Karma's a relaxing thought Aren't you envious that for you it's not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me Flexing like a goddamn acrobat Me and karma vibe like that Ask me what I learned from all those years Ask me what I earned from all those tears Ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here (I'm still, I'm still here)

peace - Our coming-of-age has come and gone Suddenly the summer, it's clear I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darling ‘Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

long story short - Fatefully I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me Misery Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides The knife cuts both ways If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

Never Grow Up - And no one's ever burned you Nothing's ever left you scarred And even though you want to Just try to never grow up

So here I am in my new apartment In a big city, they just dropped me off It's so much colder than I thought it would be So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on Wish I'd never grown up I wish I'd never grown up

Endgame - I hit you like, "Bang" We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't And I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put 'em Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

The whole of Dear Reader and most of Anti Hero. New Romantics just sounds like a pirate anthem. So definitely something Buggy would write.

Here are the albums that would be about different exes. The exes that had a lasting impact on her.

Red Hair Shanks - Debut, Fearless, and Red

Donquixate Doflamongo - Speak Now, a little of Fearless and Red.

Charlotte Katakuri - Speak Now

Sir Crocodile - 1989

Sakazuki/Akainu -folklore, evermore

Dracula Mihawk - reputation, Lover, folklore, evermore

Midnights is a mix of them. Also she falls back in love with Mihawk and Crocodile after they form the Cross Guild.

Her exes have a hard time forgetting her and its made even worse by their enemies using the songs about them to torment them. It also doesn't help that their subordinates and families listen to her songs too. I'm still figuring out the timeline. Akainu happens before Mihawk but she is so hurt by him that she wasn't able to write any songs about him until much later.

None of this is a commentary on Taylor Swift or her personal life. Just my interpretations and how they'd fit.



[syrusinthedust]

Au where all of the characters played by Kim Whalen in the Hatchetfield Series are all supernatural and connected.

Like, Holloway we know is a witch and yeah some of them already have some supernatural connection, but like, I want more.

Becky Barnes is absolutely some kind of guardian Angel given she’s a warrior of light. She, along with Holloway, is the person who the others go to for help relating to supernatural stuff and injuries.

Girl Jeri gave birth to a hairy creature that lives in the woods, she’s a werewolf. The lumber-axe man has just lost his mind fully into the wolf, even when in human form, and now Jeri goes wolf to try to protect the kids at camp.

Stacy is that one friend who has like a sixth sense for people but it’s literally a sixth sense. She somehow hasn’t realized she’s psychic despite multiple other people directly telling her.

Karen Chasity is Also a werewolf and is related to Girl Jeri (And has a bad track record with controlling herself on the full moon, thus the cannibalism claim in hatchet town).

Miss Mullberry is theater teacher who goes “caw-caw” at some point. Make her into a half bird. Like a crow person, but nighthawk. She’s been banned from running the lost and found because she keeps on just taking the shiny stuff in it.

Liz Cunnigham we don’t know too much about other than helping charities and that she was once from clivesdale. So, since she was once a chemist, let’s make her into an actual Chemist who sells her products as a small company and that’s why they’re big enough to help charities and be in the honey festival.

Now I just need to figure out Sylvia, Jenny, Reese, and Miss Tessburger.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

the chasitys' patron lord is NOT nibbly it's like obviously blinky instead. like think about it. nibbly is rooted in competition, the honey queen pageant, a need to be the best... shit like that. each member of the chasity family is repressed asf, a chronic fear of mistepping and god punishing them... and let me ask you, who's more fitting for that? blinky, who's entire thing is about surveillance and paranoia, or nibbly, who's primary basis for being linked to the chasitys being some one-off line in hatchet town. also yknow the fact that blinky talks to GRACE, not like, steph.... who while i don't feel like is chosen by nibbly, i can definitely see solomon being fucked over by the nibbler in the sky, he mentions the re-election in both of his appearances. lets make #letstepheatpeople and #letgracegainasenseofparanoiathateatsherwhole trending guys

~~~