#Jenny Hatchetfield

[hatchetfieldbrainrot]

I've had even more heartbreaking Ted thoughts that I need to share with you all. So, as we know, in Time Bastard, Ted was trying to get up the courage to confess his feelings to Jenny before he "passed out". The next morning, he wakes up to a letter from her, confessing her own feelings but thinking they're unreciprocated. Well, that's an easy fix. They're college students in 2004! They have cell phones. He just needs to call her. There's two possibilities for how that goes.

1. Jenny had her phone on her when she died so it got disintegrated along with her. Ted calls her and he gets that automated message about the number he's calling being out of service. God, was he that unimportant and disposable to her that she changed her phone number already? Did she actually love him or had she guessed his feelings and this was her idea of letting him down easy? She didn't give him another way to contact her so she obviously just wanted him out of her life.

2. Jenny didn't have her phone on her when she died so it survived somewhere. Ted calls her and it goes to voicemail. So, he leaves her a message telling her that he loves her too and she doesn't need to move to Clivesdale with Andy and please call him back, he loves her so much. Except she doesn't call him back that day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Days turn into weeks that turn into months and she still doesn't call him back. He confessed his feelings, told her he loves her and wants to be with her, and it didn't matter. His feelings weren't enough, he wasn't enough. She still moved to Clivesdale with Andy. So, why bother telling anyone that he loves them? It won't change anything.

[syrusinthedust]

Au where all of the characters played by Kim Whalen in the Hatchetfield Series are all supernatural and connected.

Like, Holloway we know is a witch and yeah some of them already have some supernatural connection, but like, I want more.

Becky Barnes is absolutely some kind of guardian Angel given she’s a warrior of light. She, along with Holloway, is the person who the others go to for help relating to supernatural stuff and injuries.

Girl Jeri gave birth to a hairy creature that lives in the woods, she’s a werewolf. The lumber-axe man has just lost his mind fully into the wolf, even when in human form, and now Jeri goes wolf to try to protect the kids at camp.

Stacy is that one friend who has like a sixth sense for people but it’s literally a sixth sense. She somehow hasn’t realized she’s psychic despite multiple other people directly telling her.

Karen Chasity is Also a werewolf and is related to Girl Jeri (And has a bad track record with controlling herself on the full moon, thus the cannibalism claim in hatchet town).

Miss Mullberry is theater teacher who goes “caw-caw” at some point. Make her into a half bird. Like a crow person, but nighthawk. She’s been banned from running the lost and found because she keeps on just taking the shiny stuff in it.

Liz Cunnigham we don’t know too much about other than helping charities and that she was once from clivesdale. So, since she was once a chemist, let’s make her into an actual Chemist who sells her products as a small company and that’s why they’re big enough to help charities and be in the honey festival.

Now I just need to figure out Sylvia, Jenny, Reese, and Miss Tessburger.

[hatchetfield-jenny]

You should talk to Peter.

Sorry, I’m not sure I know who you're talking about. Is that someone who went to high school with me?

[the-spaced-out-ace]

For your consideration: Jennybear beauty and the beast au. And Pete is one of the teacups

[inamindfarfaraway]

Oh my God. “Time Bastard” follows the plot of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. I don’t know how intentional it was, but it’s actually a great adaptation. Ted Spankoffski - a pathetic horny bastard, the world’s most annoying man, a guy so desperate, shameless, stupid and lustful that he used a cringey pickup line on a bride that wasn’t his at her wedding to which he wasn’t even invited - perfectly plays the role of Orpheus, who was so breathtakingly talented that he could make stones weep. 

A young man (Orpheus/Ted) and woman (Eurydice/Jenny) are in love. They’re very close, they bring each other joy and by all rights they should spend their rest of their lives together. 

The woman suddenly, tragically dies. The man is utterly heartbroken to have lost her forever, drowning in the pain, becoming defined by his response to the unjust and abrupt destruction of that relationship and the person he was when he had it. He feels incapable of being happy again without her.

He decides to save the woman, no matter what it takes. He will give them the lives in each other’s embrace as husband and wife that they both wanted more than anything. This should be impossible - truly impossible. To even have a hope of accomplishing it would be to break a fundemental law of reality (death is final/time is linear), and that would require the intervention of an ancient, immortal, incredibly powerful god inhabiting a supernatural other realm of endless darkness (Hades/T’noy Karaxis). Although the man’s own competence is also necessary to the task (Orpheus must win over Hades with his greatest skills, his music and singing/Ted must express his love to Jenny and convince her to stay; he believes that he can do this with the trade he’s by now devoted his life to, like Orpheus did music, pickup artistry).

Whatever his motivation, the god gives the man a second chance. Or at least, he seems to. The man is afraid of him, but can’t tell if he definitely isn’t trustworthy and his longing for this to go right overrides his doubts.

The man and woman are reunited. For a beautiful moment, they both think everything might be okay. The mission isn’t over yet, however. The woman’s life is now entirely in the man’s hands. What he has to do to save it, to secure that bright shared future, is very simple, and the young man she’s familiar with would have done it easily.

But the man is not who he was. He’s been broken and hurt and changed. He’s so consumed by his fear of losing her again that he impulsively tries to prevent it (looking back/grabbing Jenny, leading her to hit the disintegrator as she pushes him away), and with that very action he condemns her to death.

She disappears as if she was never there, loving to the last. He loses her once more, unable to do anything but watch, this time with the knowledge that it’s all his fault. He will never get a third chance.

[limon-rat]

Y'all are fucked once I figure out what words to use

[trollinstinct]

Kim Whalen? more likely than you think

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

make it sapphic masterpost @femslashfortnight

(paulkins) (lexthan) (lautski) (... ted)

[daiwild]

Could i request some halloweane or jenny-bear?

"Sorry, Miss Holiday, I keep talking about this woman you've never even met."

"No, no, Miss Holloway sounds lovely! Tell me more about her..."

[skelekitty42]

If you kind of squint, the story of Time Bastard is preeetty much the same as of the song Copacabana.

[scripted-downfall]

It's kinda bitterly amusing that Jenny's boyfriend and Charlotte's husband are both played by Jeff. Ted really is cursed to relive past events; tgwdlm is just him vibing in the background as Charlotte simps over her husband who just happens to look and (from Ted's perspective of Andy) act the same as the last dude he thinks the woman he loves chose over him

[hatchetfieldbrainrot]

I'm having more Ted thoughts but this time they're heartbreaking.

I was rereading @unusual-ly 's post about the implications of Ted's love interests (read it here) and it made me realize something.

Has anyone ever held Ted's hand?

We technically don't know if Ted had a partner in high school but I doubt it. And even if he did, that was 20 years ago. In the past 20 years, he's been the horny bastard of Hatchetfield. The guy who will sleep with anyone who's willing. He's not someone you date.

Since Jenny was only a friend, they wouldn't have done anything like that, even if they both wanted to.

Charlotte would certainly never hold his hand. She's just sleeping with him because her husband sucks and she constantly feels guilty about it anyway. She doesn't have feelings for him.

I think technically Lucy DOES hold his hand once but it's to lead him somewhere, not for any romantic reason (at least at that point). It's the way you hold a child's hand so you don't lose them.

Even at the end of Black Friday when Charlotte has her hand over Ted's, it's because the world is literally ending and she's seeking out comfort. She'd probably hold ANYONE'S hand at that point.

So yeah. As far as we know, no one has romantically held Ted's hand in 20+ years and that just breaks my heart.

[shvmblr]

fun little drawing challenges I did over on twt!

mutual pfp one under the cut! :D

[hatchetfield-jenny]

You're pretty!

@tick-tock-petey-pie

Oh? Thank you!

[Jenny is beaming.]

[the-spaced-out-ace]

12 Days of Hatchetfield, Day 11, Friends

@12daysofhatchetfield

“Thanks for for inviting me over, Teddy,” Jenny said, smiling at Ted as he sits down on the couch with her.

“No problem. Thanks for coming over.” Ted replied timidly. “I knew my folks weren’t coming over this year, so I just…wanted some company, I guess.” The words your company got caught in his throat. No need to rush a relationship that didn’t quite exist. He just reached for a box on the floor. “By the way, I got you this.”

“A present?”

“Y–Yeah, something like that—”

Ted handed the small box wrapped in newspaper, because he was far too broke to buy real wrapping paper, off to Jenny. She carefully unwrapped it and opened the box, finding a tiny red stuffed bear. A sign reading “Beary Christmas!” was sewn into its paws.

“Aww, Teddy. This is so cute!” She gently placed it in her lap. “You didn’t have to get me anything, y’know.”

“No, but I wanted to,” Ted said.

Anything for the best friend he’d ever had.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Headcanon that Ted and Jenny were childhood friends. They were so used to telling each other everything that Ted continued to send her letters (not infrequently tearstained), emails and messages and leave her calls for about a year after she ‘left’. Surely their friendship wouldn’t just suddenly be over, even if she was with someone else. Even if she was in fucking Clivesdale. Surely she would at least let him say goodbye.

She never responded. He slowly accepted that she must have decided to sever herself from him, to leave him and what they had behind. That that must be the only way she could stop hurting.

So he resolved to do the same. No more holding onto feelings that only caused pain. No more weakness. No more Teddy.