#ted spankoffski my beloved

[ello-its-slimegoat]

Ted goin funky

[hatchetfieldbrainrot]

I've had even more heartbreaking Ted thoughts that I need to share with you all. So, as we know, in Time Bastard, Ted was trying to get up the courage to confess his feelings to Jenny before he "passed out". The next morning, he wakes up to a letter from her, confessing her own feelings but thinking they're unreciprocated. Well, that's an easy fix. They're college students in 2004! They have cell phones. He just needs to call her. There's two possibilities for how that goes.

1. Jenny had her phone on her when she died so it got disintegrated along with her. Ted calls her and he gets that automated message about the number he's calling being out of service. God, was he that unimportant and disposable to her that she changed her phone number already? Did she actually love him or had she guessed his feelings and this was her idea of letting him down easy? She didn't give him another way to contact her so she obviously just wanted him out of her life.

2. Jenny didn't have her phone on her when she died so it survived somewhere. Ted calls her and it goes to voicemail. So, he leaves her a message telling her that he loves her too and she doesn't need to move to Clivesdale with Andy and please call him back, he loves her so much. Except she doesn't call him back that day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Days turn into weeks that turn into months and she still doesn't call him back. He confessed his feelings, told her he loves her and wants to be with her, and it didn't matter. His feelings weren't enough, he wasn't enough. She still moved to Clivesdale with Andy. So, why bother telling anyone that he loves them? It won't change anything.

[inkwell-illustrations]

If this does well I'll make more!

(i have no idea if someone already did this)

Part two & part 3

[what-the-bally-hell]

TEDANDCHARLOTTETEDANDCHARLOTTETEDANDCHARLOTTE

result of brainrot and boredom here you go!

please don't repost/claim as your own

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Out of context Black Friday spoilers

[thelightwillbreakthrough]

like yeah hatchetfield is full of star crossed lovers etc etc but let’s talk about how it’s also full of DOOMED SIBLINGS. jane has to die for any number of timelines to exist, and losing her is the direct cause for emma’s role in any number of stories (not to mention everyone else who was affected…); after feeling like her diametric opposite for so long the only thing emma can do is settle in their hometown to find some kind of meaning in all of it. lex is the reason hannah is alive, but what does that mean if hannah’s birth is the event that split the timelines? if all lex wants is to provide for and protect her sister, but events spin beyond their control and make their situation all the worse? hannah can see beyond their world, she knows the end so to speak, but what can she do? how can she protect lex when she barely understands it herself? ted and pete care about each other, but their respective ages and ted’s curse mean their paths cross for too short a time to really appreciate each other, ted being ready to strike out on his own when pete is born, and being gone by the time pete is, with them never having the crucial moments you get when you go through things together. they, at the risk of sounding unbearably on the nose, didn’t have the time. and that’s not even getting into whatever happened with webby and the lords in black; whatever betrayal or split happened to have her working against all five of them, the brothers spreading discord and destruction while she stands alone protecting the world… it’s all so deeply, cosmically tragic

[aliceisaperson]

I think about this so fucking much

[ghostface-knight]

that's a nice spankoffski you've got there. sure would be a shame if somebody were to put him in a box.

[booigi-boi]

It's important to take your Ted out for a walk every now and then to get that fresh Black and White air 🐐💛

[gyldencikade]

me when i draw something in the middle of they night (i made this like 2 weeks ago i just dont remember😭)

[nabwastaken]

MEME TIME

[ender-of-the-sender]

I have a request for whoever wants to:

Can someone please make one of those shitty 90's meme t-shirts- yk the ones.

But with Ted Spankoffski. Tell me you get the vision.

[hatchetfieldbrainrot]

I'm having more Ted thoughts but this time they're heartbreaking.

I was rereading @unusual-ly 's post about the implications of Ted's love interests (read it here) and it made me realize something.

Has anyone ever held Ted's hand?

We technically don't know if Ted had a partner in high school but I doubt it. And even if he did, that was 20 years ago. In the past 20 years, he's been the horny bastard of Hatchetfield. The guy who will sleep with anyone who's willing. He's not someone you date.

Since Jenny was only a friend, they wouldn't have done anything like that, even if they both wanted to.

Charlotte would certainly never hold his hand. She's just sleeping with him because her husband sucks and she constantly feels guilty about it anyway. She doesn't have feelings for him.

I think technically Lucy DOES hold his hand once but it's to lead him somewhere, not for any romantic reason (at least at that point). It's the way you hold a child's hand so you don't lose them.

Even at the end of Black Friday when Charlotte has her hand over Ted's, it's because the world is literally ending and she's seeking out comfort. She'd probably hold ANYONE'S hand at that point.

So yeah. As far as we know, no one has romantically held Ted's hand in 20+ years and that just breaks my heart.

[xxbimboboyxx]

I have yet another hatchetverse drawing, the art is originally 2 men but paulkins is NOT straight to me!!! so i put them in this draiwng

Og art is by Gerard P. Donelan, who made LGBT cartoons:

[what-the-bally-hell]

I DID SOME TED FANART BC MY SKRUNGLY LITTLE BABYGIRL IS SUFFERING CONSTANTLY AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM

(I made a version with a halo and with piercings)

(and yes I didn't draw the clock I couldn't be bothered)

[what-the-bally-hell]

WHY IS THIS SO TRUE.

I'M LITERALLY THE MOST LESBIAN PERSON EVER BUT

him?

hot damn

NEVER has there been as fine a man as he i am in LOVE*

*op is a lesbian with 0 attraction to men why is she like this