#ableist rhetoric

[cowsabungus]

Non disabled people will take services away from disabled people and then cry about how their gran never gets any help

Wonder who's fault that is

Have fun in the hole u dug for yourselves

[some-pers0n]

I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

[dollypopup]

The way some of y'all talk about Luke Newton is just. . .I need this fandom to check itself with a swiftness, because the very thinly veiled ableism is ENOUGH. Like it is WILD to see, in the year of our lord 2024, people either actively infantalizing or talking down this grown man.

Calling Luke Newton stupid for behaviors that are just him displaying his Neurodivergence? Ableism. Saying it because it takes him longer to answer a question is ableism. Saying it because he said something 'incorrectly' or not as eloquently on the fly as his neurotypical costars? Ableism.

Saying he's boring because he's quiet or he doesn't talk as much (because he often needs more processing time and/or has anxiety to surmount) is ableism. Knitpicking his social media and how he doesn't interact as much with a fandom that has actively been cruel to him is ableism.

Assuming Luke is out here like some helpless little lamb clinging to Nicola because 'oh, she's his comfort person!' instead of recognizing that they both lean on and like each other? Is ableism. Saying he has a one sided infatuation with her BECAUSE he needs her as said comfort person is ableism. Essentially being all 'awwww, poor wee baby, he has anxiety so thankfully his neurotypical costar is there to pick up the slack!' is. ableism. You cannot in one breath say that Nicola's love language is touch but also that Luke is the only one ever reaching to hold her hand because he needs her to ground him. That's ableism.

They both like each other. They have a very close relationship and they both clearly admire the other and like to be around one another. To frame it as him being some inept toddler and her as his more capable caretaker and 'thank God he has her to give him the save' is ableism! That's ableism, babes!! And in many cases people don't recognize that's what they're taking part in, but that's what it is.

He is a grown man and a hell of an actor. Yes, he's quieter than some of his costars. Yes, he contemplates what he says in his mind before he says it, and it takes him some time to do so. Yes, he doesn't behave the way his neurotypical peers do. He doesn't have to. He won't- because he has a neurodivergent brain. And he shouldn't have to behave as a neurotypical person or an 'acceptable' neurodivergent person to have respect from people who claim to be his fans.

He's been outspoken and unapologetic about being a neurodivergent actor with ADHD and dyslexia and how that can contribute to difficulties in the current media machine. He has discussed his coping mechanisms. He has specifically done so because he knows how difficult it can be to be a neurodivergent person in the limelight, and he uses that spotlight to show other neurodivergent actors they can be successful, too. And people saw this openly neurodivergent man and said some mad out of pocket nonsense about him.

As the tour comes to a close, I just really need people to look back on their beliefs and viewpoints during it and do some reflection, because I am side-eying a LOT of takes that have gone largely uncontested.

[alicentflorent]

I really don’t like the ableist implications I’ve seen coming from some fans on the Alicent’s reaction to aegon’s death sentence. “Alicent accepted Aegon’s death because he’s already half dead and in severe pain with no quality of life” As someone living with severe chronic pain amongst other things, I resent that sentiment. Yes, becoming severely disabled and living in constant agony can be a kind of hell that you just wish would end. Aegon, the person who actually became disabled and from his perspective, has had his life life ruined, decided he wanted to live.

I didn’t read Alicent bringing up his disability as her accepting that he’s better off dead but more as her trying to tell Rhaenyra “look he has no quality of life, he’s already paying a great price and is no longer a challenge to you” and Rhaenyra says it doesn’t matter because she has to publicly execute him to take the throne and secure her claim. The very idea that Alicent accepts his death because he’s so “broken” and therefore his life is less valid is already is a dangerous message and harms actual disabled people. Disabled people who see your posts debating on whether a life of pain and disability is worth living and if it’s okay that a mother of a disabled person can rationalise their murder because it ends their suffering.

Media does not exist in a vacuum and has real world implications especially when we touch on subjects like ableism, racism, sexual assault etc. both fans and showrunners alike need to be careful about what they’re putting out there when addressing these subjects.

[snzluv3r]

i actually feel so incredibly uncomfortable and isolated in this space right now and i know that’s silly because of how many people there are just like me who share the same feelings but idk…the fact that people even think this is defensible behavior is making me feel sick

[swordsonnet]

sorry but saying that the accessibility needs of mentally disabled people are just preferences or about "comfort" is blatantly incorrect. if i can't enter a building because the bright lights and loud noises would send me into a meltdown, then i can't enter the building, and that's not less important than me not being able to enter a building because it's not wheelchair accessible. if you genuinely think that mentally disabled people aren't really struggling, and that it's okay to mock their very real concerns, then that just shows that you've been refusing to listen to their experiences. do better or shut the fuck up.

[foxxsong]

Reminder that hypermobility is not just being a bit more flexible than normal and that if you use someone "just" being hypermobile as a reason to claim they don't count as chronically ill/physically disabled you're an uneducated ableist POS! :)

Did you know that if someone is hypermobile, it actually LIMITS their mobility in some ways? Did you know it frequently causes chronic pain? Did you know that hypermobile people are both more likely to dislocate joints than non-hypermobile people AND are less likely to seek professional medical care when it happens? Did you know that some hypermobile people have to use mobility aids because of their hypermobility? Actually, did you even know that hypermobile people can also be extremely inflexible? Turns out that when your muscles are having to constantly over-compensate to prevent your joints from popping out, they tend to get a bit tense and uncooperative!

Hypermobility is a physical disability and can be a severely limiting one, and it is SHITTY to imply that people with it are just using it as an easy way to claim a "physical disability card". If I catch you saying this shit IRL, I'm gonna hit you with my forearm crutches that I use so my hips don't dislocate in public.

[soullessjack]

anyone who’s ever said that liking jack is “basically pedophilia” because he’s “mentally a child” owes the autistic community every single coin in their bank account and a free kick in the teeth. what the actual fuck is wrong with you guys 👍👍

[sukibenders]

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but the way in which some people, especially in the shipping community, talk about Viktor feels very reminiscent of how some people would talk about Steve Rogers in What-If regarding Peggy, or Captain Britain. If you know, you know.

[actual-changeling]

i've been thinking about this for two (awake) days now and i think i'll just commit to it and actually write a meta post on why—despite what everyone seems to think—crowley is not actually running away from his problems.

it's NOT his response to everything and it's NOT his preferred option, the fandom has simply taken three impactful moments and then decided that it applies to him all the time.

on top of that, we also really need to talk about the fact that a large part of this fandom degrades and criticizes leaving and glorifies staying.

[mashkaroom]

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/22/us/gender-identity-students-parents.html

SO many thoughts about this article, but ultimately it comes down to the fact that extreme parental control over children is so widely accepted even in liberal and leftist circles, and that’s intensely disheartening. A lot of what’s presented as neutral in this article is stuff like ‘parents should be involved in all major life decisions for their children’, which, frankly, is deranged. Parents should not be everything for their children -- it’s bad for both parties. Most parents are not perfect -- which is fine! you cannot expect them to be -- but a child with even the most perfect parent might not want to share everything about their private life with their parent. Oftentimes, you want to share things with someone less close to you because then, if you change your mind or realize you made a mistake, there’s basically no consequences. Also, god, is this really that hard to understand? Children are their own people. A lot of people in the comments are saying things like ‘well of course parents have the right to know information about their children, but in the case of gender identity, it’s a matter of safety’. Really? Do -- or rather should -- they have the right? Is safety where we want to draw the line? If your boss was revealing details about your behavior at work to your siblings or parents or spouse without your consent, would you be okay with that, even if it didn’t jeapordize your safety? This is not something we should be ceding any ground on. No privacy guarantees, fears of mandated reporting, and lack of clarity on where administrators and teachers drew that line is exactly what prevents many from disclosing things to adults in the school and why you, as a high schooler, were often the primary point of support for a number of your peers at any given time. This isn’t even particularly a secret, like this is a widespread and well-known phenomenon. I really struggle to give people the benefit of the doubt on this at this point, because, frankly, for most, it’s not that they just haven’t considered the potential harms, it’s that those harms are acceptable sacrifices if it means keeping children in a state of extreme societal control.

[mrsmiroir]

i need people to understand that couching misogynistic rhetoric in between layers of “progressive” language doesn’t make it any less misogynistic. you can’t say shit like “as an nd woman i find it easier to talk to men bc they’re not judgmental and they don’t play mind games” and then refute accusations of misogyny with “well women are more ableist actually?” like fucking excuse me? your inability to connect to half of the god damn population SOLELY because of their gender isn’t because you’re nd, it’s because you see women SPECIFICALLY as a uniform group and not a bunch of varied individuals who are just as complex as literally everyone else. “well it’s because women are socialized to be less direct than men” expectations do not dictate reality, there have been women subverting every single social norm pushed upon them at any point in history (because again, women are NOT a uniform group of people), now is no different. “women play psychological mind games and their bullying is more insidious than men, men just call you names and beat you up” like what? unpacking everything wrong with that statement would take fucking hours, but it’s such a gross generalization of men AND women and i think it’s just such a weird thing to say? bullying is bad no matter what, what are we even waffling about. these are just some examples of comments ive seen recently but it’s honestly exhausting.

[fenrichaita]

criticisms of "anti-recovery" sentiments are deeply ableist because this sort of rhetoric defines recovery by "neurotypical" and able-bodied standards and also assumes that recovery by these parameters are both always accessible and possible to achieve, and are always desirable. In reality, these sentiments come from a deep resentment of those who are disabled, mentally ill, and neurodivergent, and a discomfort at seeing those who are labeled this way being comfortable with their own existence.

The next time you complain about the "romanticization" of mental illness or similar concepts, seriously consider whether you are aiming your grievances at the right people. Are you punching down at those who aren't suitably performing their misery for you, or are you criticizing something actually harmful such as the fetishization of mental illness by those who do not have it/are not stigmatized by labels they were not given?

[albi-bumblebee]

wild how i live with a conservative christian family who think all queer people are at best “delusional” and “crazy” and yet the most major source of my self hatred for being queer has been allegedly progressive people online…

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Primetober Day 1: It’s Not Kidnapping If You Make The Rules, with all three extra themes (Kidnapping, Gaslighting, and “You'll do as I say.”)

Boy in the bunker AU. Five year old Tommy is remembering a little of his life outside with the SBI, and Dream makes sure to convince him he's just going crazy. Warnings for kidnapping, manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, imprisonment, abuse and neglect of a very young child, traumabonding, and ableist rhetoric used to victim blame a child.

ao3 if you prefer

— “Dream?” Tommy grasped hard on his big brother’s leg, like a vice grip stopping him from leaving and making Tommy all lonely again. He’d left for a long, long time when he’d gone through the bunker doors last time, long enough that all the food had run out except the ones in the big cupboards he wasn’t able to reach yet, and he’d curled up crying in the top bunk holding his aching stomach for two miserable nights. That was where Dream slept, after all, and the silky green sheets almost felt like his big brother was hugging him from far away. “You gotta stay. You gotta.”

Dream chuckled. “Toms, I just got back. I’m not gonna get you cereal then immediately bounce.”

“Oh.” Tommy turned red, though he didn’t let go. He was a big boy- it was his fifth birthday just before Dream had left last!- but he could still be clingy, right? It felt childish and silly for a big kid to do, but Dream always praised Tommy for it, so it was good, right? “Why’d it take you so long to find shit? Did the rabi- radi- poison cloud bomb shit hurt you?”

Dream had told him all about how the world got fucked up when he was only little. There used to be a big island outside the bunker doors, with lots of people, and stuff like schools and other stuff that was on the DVDs. But then the countries, which were like really big families but not really where one person controlled everything like Dream did with him, but they were mean about it, bombed each other, and the bombs had poison in them, and it killed everyone except him and Dream, because Dream had found the bunker and taken him there.

It was always scary whenever Dream went out scavenging in the surface world. Every time, Tommy made a thousand prayers that he wouldn’t get hurt. He wasn’t really sure what a prayer was, but people did it in the movies, so it must work. Once, Tommy forgot to do his prayers, and when he realised he was so worried that he was sick all over the bed because he thought he’d killed Dream and he’d starve to death alone. 

There was the Gun- Dream always said that if one of them was gonna die, he’d take it and kill both of them quickly because it was better than dying in pain or being alone, but Tommy wasn’t big enough to reach the cupboard it was kept in. Besides, only Dream was allowed to use the Gun. Once, he’d hit Tommy just for looking at it for too long, but it was only a little hit, so it was okay because Dream did stuff that left scars when he needed a proper lesson. They didn’t show that on the TV, but Dream had told him that what was on the TV was made up and that stuff like talking cats weren’t real. But cats were, which was equally as weird as talking cats, Tommy thought.

“Nah, I’m fine, lil’ cockroach.” Dream ruffled Tommy’s hair, grimacing a little at its messy state. “God, you need a bath. You’re filthy. Did you roll around in the greenhouse or something?”

“… nooooo?” Tommy yelped as Dream pulled his curls, just enough to hurt. “Okay, okay, I did it, m’ sorry! I wanted to see if the dirt would make my hair brown, so I got some dirt and poured it over me.” He put on his best puppy-dog impression. “I take full respo-sbility for my actions. So, uh, you can hit me and stuff.”

“Aww, look at you, trying to be manipulative. It’s adorable.” Dream laughed. “Fine, you can get away with it for now.”

Tommy giggled at that, before he suddenly stopped. Oh yeah, there was something important he had to tell his big brother. The excitement of finally having someone around was so overwhelming he’d nearly forgotten. “Uh, Dream? Can I tell you something?”

“Course, Tommy. We’re family, right? You can tell me anything.” It sounded more like an order than a comfort, but Tommy was used to orders. Dream said that if he didn’t follow all the orders, then maybe something would go wrong, and the toxic thingy would seep through the doors, and they’d die, and Tommy didn’t want to die. Being alive was pretty awesome, he thought. “Don’t you trust me, lil bro?”

“Of- of course! It’s just- it’s about b’fore, y’know, the bombs an’ shit. I had- I could remember it.”

Dream froze up at that, glaring down at Tommy like there was something dangerous about what he said. Tommy nervously fiddled with his fingers, voice catching in his throat, before Dream gave a sickly sweet smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes. “What could you remember, little bug?” His voice was honeyed, but Tommy knew well enough the poison it hid.

“I- uh, it was when I was real little. Back before I realised I was a boy and stuff.” Tommy couldn’t look his brother in the eyes, feeling somehow guilty about it even though he didn’t know what he did wrong. But it upset Dream, and therefore Tommy couldn’t help but get the sickening feeling he deserved punishment. “I was in a pink dress- like that one in Sims, right? And I was- I was in a park, and there was grass under my feet and shit. And- uh, I think I remember- I don’t know, I don’t think he was my dad. He looked kinda like you, so I guess he was my big brother?”

Tommy gulped, and Dream continued to look down at him, unblinking. “Continue.” His voice was like ice.

“U-um.” Tommy could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He knew he was gonna get a whooping, but it’d probably be worse if he directly disobeyed Dream, so he continued. “Well, I uh, I was playing with a doll, but I lost it, and this nice man got it for me, but then we were really far away from my other brother. And I looked up and- and it was you! And you had the Knife, and you just kinda picked me up and ran.” Tommy laughed, the idea seeming funny. He must have been so tiny back then. “And then I got this.” He gestured at the rough scar across his chest- the first Dream ever gave him, which he treasured because it meant Dream cared enough to correct him, and that meant he loved him.

“Tommy.” Dream didn’t sound mad, just completely emotionless. “Don’t tell lies.”

“I-I’m not- it’s- I ’member it, promise!” Tommy huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “I remember it.”

“Really?” Dream raised an eyebrow.

“Really really. I can pinkie promise if you want.”

“No, no, I believe you.” Dream’s voice was suddenly calm, suddenly sickly sweet again. “But, Tommy… that means you’re not well.”

Tommy blinked. “Huh?”

“Tommy… how could I meet you in a park if I found you after the bombs fell? That doesn’t make sense. Think about it.” Dream gently ruffled Tommy’s hair as he spoke, giving him a sad smile. “I… some people just aren’t well, Tommy. What they see and hear isn’t what’s really going on. I wish I knew this earlier, so I could help…”

Tommy furrowed his brows, deep in thought. “Does that mean… anything I see and hear and shit? It could all be- like, stuff I made up?”

Dream nodded. “Mhm. But it’s okay. I can do all the thinking for you! Just- just tell me everything you see and hear and remember at the end of the day, and I’ll tell you what the truth is. Okay?”

“Even if I do something bad? Won’t I get in trouble?”

“I mean, yeah, but if you avoid doing that and don’t speak to me, you’ll also be in trouble, right? So it’s fine.”

“… Right.” The idea of there being no way of avoiding hurt seemed horrible, but if Dream thought it was correct… it had to be, right? Everything Dream did prevented the outside things from breaking in and poisoning them, so Tommy had to trust him, or else they’d both die, and neither of them wanted to die.

“Try not to sound so bratty about that, God.” Tommy couldn’t tell if Dream was joking or not saying that, an equal mix of humour and frustration in his voice, and he instinctively flinched. “I make the rules for a reason, Tommy. I keep us alive. I keep us more than alive. I keep the electricity running and get you your favourite food. All I ask is your obedience; is that so hard? Christ.” He covered his face with his hands, sighing. “I guess I can’t blame you. You- you’re not well. It’s not your fault that you’re fragile. It just means you need a firmer hand.”

Something about being called fragile made Tommy feel really upset, but if Dream was saying it, then it had to be correct, and Tommy was being the unreasonable one. Maybe he was fucking crazy. Maybe he was thinking wrong stuff, maybe he needed Dream to tell him everything.

And would that be so bad? Dream was his big brother, and he was the bestest big brother ever. He tucked Tommy into bed, he cooked his favourite food, he played Smash with him all day long sometimes, and even sometimes let him win. When Tommy realised he was a boy, he immediately gave him a cool new name and cool new clothes. He gave the best hugs and was so cool to talk to, he had the most awesome stories about what he did in the surface world. Tommy was pretty sure most of them were fake because they all contradicted each other, but they were so cool he didn’t care. And no matter how long he had to leave, he always came back.

Yeah, Dream knew best. He made the rules for a reason.

“M’ sorry. I’ll tell you everything.” Tommy gave the biggest grin he could, even though he didn’t feel happy, he just felt guilty and stupid. “You’re so smart and cool. I trust you.”

“Aww, and you’re so smart and cool too, Tommy, else you wouldn’t realise that!” Dream laughed, all venom in his voice dissipated. “Also, we need to wash the dirt out of your hair. Seriously, how did you get so much in?”

Tommy batted his eyes innocently. “It was an accident, I swear.” He burst into giggles at that too, and they were both smiling, tension removed from the air. All was well again, and Tommy had learnt a valuable lesson.

He just needed to rely on Dream over his own senses, and everything would be okay.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Low support needs Adhd/autism havers are all defenders of the neurodivergent community until Donald Trump says something stupid and then they turn around and say the most awful ableist shit that Donald Trump himself will never see nor hear nor care about. But your so-called allies will. And the violence will hit them, not Trump.