#abd i was uncomfortable the whole time

[nat-20s]

Love going to beauty stores because inevitably I look like I've just come back from a camping trip. Hoodie ON bc I didn't feel like wearing a bra. Never had makeup on in my life probably. Skin? Flaking off its so dry. Hair? Clearly unwashed and box dyed. And the shopkeeps are always like oh my god a feral child. We will help you feral child.

[lycandrophile]

a breakdown of my one week post-op appointment (after top surgery):

i came in wearing my mastectomy pillow around my chest because it makes walking more comfortable, and i was nervous about that because the social anxiety said it was weird to go out in public like that, even if it was just to the surgeon’s office. when the surgeon brought me into the exam room, though, she didn’t even mention it, so if you’re like me and get nervous about stuff like that, you can rest assured that they’re very used to seeing it.

i was also nervous about having my boyfriend record parts of the appointment, but she was super chill about that too. basically, whatever your social anxiety tells you is weird to do at these appointments to be comfortable or document it or whatever else, they’ve already seen it a million times and they don’t care at all.

for the past week, as we’ve been emptying my drains, we’ve been writing down how much fluid was in each bulb and when it was emptied on a sheet the hospital gave us. the first thing the surgeon did when we got in the office was look over those notes to see how much i’m draining and confirm that the fluid level is low enough to take my drains out.

the next thing she did was unwrap all the bandages and take all the padding off. she didn’t do the big reveal of my chest in front of a mirror that i’ve seen a lot of surgeons do, but i suspect that might be because she knew i already saw it when we had to send some pictures to her.

the only part of getting the drains out that i could feel at all was at the drain sites (the little incisions where the drains came out of my body). i felt a little bit of pain there when she cut the stitch on each side that keeps the drains in place, and a bit when she was bandaging the sites once they were out, but it was nothing bad. when the drains were actually getting taken out, i could feel some pulling on the drain sites, but i couldn’t feel the drains coming out at all. i thought she was still working on the stitches until i saw the full tube in her hand after. the pulling feeling wasn’t super comfortable and maybe hurt a little, but again, nothing nearly as bad as you’d think getting tubes pulled out of your chest would feel. the drain sites are definitely still sensitive now if something directly touches them, but i’m much more comfortable than when the drains were in.

once the drains were out she also peeled the steri strips off of my incisions, which was both the most painful part of the whole process and an incredibly weird feeling. the feeling of them peeling off my skin was decently painful, like a particularly stubborn bandaid coming off, but there was a band in the middle of that feeling where it was totally numb, because the skin around my incisions is super sensitive but the incisions themselves are numb. my boyfriend and dad were in the room with me and, as she was taking the strips off, i turned to them and said “that hurts but it also doesn’t?” that was the best way i could describe it in the moment. all in all, not awful, just like a bad bandaid with a weird strip of fuzzy nothing in the middle. the worst part was just that it caught me by surprise because i didn’t know they would be getting peeled off until she started doing it.

once the incisions were out in the open, she put some moisturizer on them, which felt even weirder. this time, instead of being strips of painful with a strip of non-painful, it was just a super weird liminal space where i was deeply uncomfortable and my brain reacted like i was in pain, but the only sensations i was actually feeling we’re super dull and barely there. doing that myself will definitely be…interesting.

up until this appointment, i had been wearing two ace bandages with two abd pads and gauze strips underneath. when she rewrapped me at the end, she just put the two pads over my incisions with no gauze around them and then put one ace bandage back on me. so my bandages are much lighter now, and it’s definitely more comfortable than before.

she had me make another appointment for two weeks from now (at 3 weeks post-op). she told me that, until then, i should limit my physical activity just as much as i have been so far, even if it feels like i can do more now. she also said that i can shower as long as the water doesn’t hit my chest directly, that i should change the pads every time i shower, and that i should switch to a clean ace bandage once a week (we didn’t have to buy extras, they were given to us). she recommended i get scar strips at some point between now and the next appointment, but said i shouldn’t start using them until she can take a look at my chest at 3 weeks and tell me if my skin is ready for them.

overall, it ended up being a much shorter appointment than i expected, although i’m honestly not sure what else i thought was going to happen. that being said, it didn’t feel rushed at all, and it was really nice to have her look at me and confirm that my chest is healing well.

[baldurs-simp]

K k Astarion and tav are visiting shadowheart tavs bestie abd she just like help me shadow pleaseeeeee i have no idea how to tell him im pregnant abd shadow heart is like lol nope

Oh yes! I love this! Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy this!

My Masterlist

Summary: A visit to a long-time friend leads to a secret being revealed.

Warnings: fluff, astarion x reader, female!reader/tav, mention of pregnancy

It took great convincing to get Astarion to come with you on this trip to visit your dear old friend, Shadowheart. He argued with you, saying that she is your friend more than she is his. But after a lot of pleading, begging, and convincing, he agreed to come with you.

You're used to living your life in the nighttime with Astarion ever since the fall of the Absolute and the end of having the tadpole in your mind. It took away Astarion's ability to walk in the sunlight and you willingly gave that up too. To be with him. It took a while to get used to it, but now it's as if you had been living like that you're whole life.

You've had to get used to a lot of changes. And it seems that the changes are not over with just yet.

"You seem like you have something on your mind," Shadowheart speaks, breaking you out of your trancelike stare on Astarion as you watch him foraging around for herbs you need for the evening meal.

You sigh, dropping your head for a moment before turning to look at her. "I may need your help with something," you say, folding your hands together as you try to keep your voice from shaking. "I..have no idea how to tell him-" You look out to where Astarion is kneeling to pluck some herbs from the ground. "-that I'm pregnant."

A breath gets caught in Shadowheart's throat, causing her to cough a bit in shock. She turns to look at you, then out to Astarion, then back at you. "You're kidding, right?"

"I wish I was. But it is true, I'm sure of it," you whisper as if scared that Astarion will hear you. "You have to help me, please."

She chuckles, shaking her head as she shifts on her feet, uncomfortable. "Help you? What exactly am I supposed to do? I didn't even know this was possible," she says, holding out her hand to point to your stomach.

"I didn't either. But I need you to help me tell him and reassure him that everything's going to be okay."

"You don't even know if things are going to be okay."

"But he doesn't need to know that. You know how he can overreact and I don't want him to do that right now," you fight back, touching her arm lightly as you step forward. "He trusts your word. If you tell him that everything will be alright then he'll believe you more than if I tell him. Please," you beg, holding her fast as you stare into her eyes.

She looks out and sighs when she sees that Astarion is walking back. "Alright. But you are the one who brings the topic up. Tonight. Let's just get this news out of the way," she says, pushing you off of her.

You smile, relief filling your heart as you walk towards Astarion. "I think you'll make a great mother," Shadowheart says before you leave her side.

Her words cause you to turn back around to face her. You smile brightly at her, nodding thanks to her before continuing your way to Astarion.

[queersouthasian]

I NEED PEOPLE, MORE PEOPLE TO APPRECIATE BABE'S OBSERVANT MODE BEING FULL ON SPIRALLING AROUND CHARLIE...THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE IN OBSERVING THE LITTLE DETAILS OF THE PERSON YPU LOVE WITH YOUR SOUL...

● BABE NOTICING CHARLIE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE TO DRINK A WHOLE GLASS AND TAKING IT AWAY FROM (EP 2), HIM GIVING CHARLIE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF DRINK AND ASKING HIM IF HE CAN HANDLE IT IN HIS SOFT VOICE (EP 6)

●BABE NOT DRINKING OR SMOKING DURING HIS MOURNING 'CAUSE CHARLIE WOULD WANT HIM TO BE HEALTHY (AS ALAN SAYS "what would Charlie think if he saw you being like this" IN EP 10)

●BABE KNOWING CHARLIE BLAMES HIMSELF SO HE WALKS UP TO HIM AND REASSURES HIM AND COMFORTS HIM BY PATING HIM AFTER HE LOST THE RACE IN EP 9, HE DOES THE SAME IN EP 5 AND 6 AS WELL.

● BABE TEACHING CHARLIE HOW TO RACE AND RECOMMENDING HIM TO THE TEAM (since he thought Charlie was there to get a race car, he teaches and believes in his racing even though he was a newbie)

● BABE IMMEDIATELY LOOKING AT CHARLIE AFTER HE FINDS BLOOD IN KIM'S ROOM, ALERTED, TELLS HIM TO STAY STILL AND HIMSELF GOES IN TO CHECK IN THE NEXT ROOM.

●CHARLIE MENTIONING DIEING, AS A JOKE OR NOT, AND BABE REFUSING TO LET THAT SLIDE EACH TIME

●BABE NOT DIRECTING COMMUNICATING DURING EP4-5 AND NOT LETTING CHARLIE EXPLAIN, TO CONFRONTING HIM ABD LETTING HIM EXPLAIN IN EP7, TO AGAIN CONFRONTING CHARLIE AND WAITING FOR AN EXPLANATION DURING EP 10 BEFORE THE RACE (even though it was a misunderstanding, it shows babe's growing confidence and trust in their relationship)

●BABE GOING FROM HAVING TRUST ISSUES TO HAVING BLIND FAITH AND TRUST IN CHARLIE

●BABE LOOKING OUT FOR CHARLIE AND CALMLY TALKING AND LISTENING TO HIM BEFORE THE RACE IN EP9, SUGGESTING SEX 'CAUSE IT HELPED HIM WHEN HE HAD THE POWERS.

●BABE SHIELDING CHARLIE, PUSHING CHARLIE AWAY FROM DANGER

●BABE IMMEDIATELY LOOKING OUT FOR CHARLIE AFTER EVERY ALTERCATION

●BABE BRINGING CHARLIE TO THREE PLACES (the restaurant, the stargazing road, his childhood home) WHICH ARE SOME INTIMATELY PART OF HIS LIFE

●BABE TOUCHING CHARLIE, BEING EXTREMELY INTIMATE WITH HIM DURING THE SEX SCENE IN EP 13, JUST TAKING HIS TIME TO STARE AT HIM, HOLD HIM AND KISS HIM.

●BABE IMMEDIATELY HOLDING CHARLIE WHEN BEING PUSHED IN EP 8

[bingusbongu]

A/n: hello again! This wasnt a request but something i wanted to write myself! Personally, i love these two silly guys, and ive been reading some good fanfiction about them and GOD do i kin these two, so i hope you enjoy:))) sorry its so long! And maybe abit ooc-

Tw: nothing! Just absolute tooth rotting fluff:)

Sun and Moon dating headcanons!

___________

Sun

• the golden retriever boyfriend

• goodness, if you two end up becoming a couple, this clingy animatronic would be attached to your hip constantly, you cannot get him away even if you tried, itll take a huge force for Sun to be seperated from you

• he respects your boundries! Of course he does! He wants you to be comfortable! He cant have his favorite person in the whole world uncomfortable! He does eveything to make sure you are comfy around him, he knows how off putting he can be amd scary, he had accidengly scared a few people in his time as attendant

• though, if you tell him you dong mind hugs or dont mind him being touchy, it would take abit of reassurance, but Sun is all over you

• hugging you, holding you close, picking you up and spinning around with you in his arms, he is NOT letting you go, whether you like it or not

• He is a toucher, please dont be mad at him. He is constantlh touching you in some way, regardless if its just pinkie holding, or Sun full om trapping you into a cuddle and talking to you about his day

• he is a cuddle bug, you cant change my mind

• Sun is always used to being the affectionate one, he enjoys hugs and cheering up people! No one really cared to give the big sweetie a hug himself. So when you show him any form of affection, he fell on MELTS

• he craves touch, he is so touch starved, sure he loves being the big spoon, but when you big spoon HIM? Swoons

• he loved just crawling into your lap and pressing his face to your stomach as you caress his rays amd faceplate, making him absolutely melt and calm in your hold

• you are the only person who can calm him down. Sometimes he gets to excited abd jumpy, especially when its something he enjoys like arts and crafts (we stan autistic sunny.) Sometimes, you have to calm him before he stims to hard and short circuits

• during arts and crafts with the kids, he really likes to try and make you stuff. And when he does, he presents it to you with the biggest and proudest grin ever, and you cherish each and every one, you have a full wall in your room covered with Sun gifts

• if YOU make him something, though, he would be so happy, he does a little happy dance before taking it and handling it with sich gentle care

• It was made by YOU, and he treasures it greatly

• he has all your gifts for him displayed where he can always see them, it makes him so proud that you make stuff for him, it makes his inside coding beat in place of a heart

• He definitely makes happy little chirps and whirrs when he is happy, and ofc his rays start to spin. It akeays happens when you walk into the daycare

• but to reallu get it going, all you have to do is motion Sun to bend down, and when he does you press a kiss to his big grin

• his rays spin so fast its like a fan, and his voicebox is whirring and glitching

• His forms of kisses, since he can't open his mouth, is pressing his teeth to your lips, and you kissing him instead. Sure he is quite sad he cant actually kiss you, but it makes up in its own ways, he dosnt care, he still absolutely loves it when you butterfly kiss his face all over, he is a giggling mess!

• loves playing games with you, especially after everyone is gone and the daycare is clean, he especially loves tag, which you always lose at. But he just adores hearing you giggle every time he catches you

• he adores you so much, je gets so giddy when thinking about you, he starts giggling like a school girl, goodness you make his chest cavity loosen at the thought of you

• whenever he is stressed, he just thinks about you and everything calms down inside of him

•he loves you, very very much, he feels so special being with you

• he feels like the luckiest robot alive

MOON

• the black cat boyfriend

• he is much calmer then Sun is, the completely opposite of the other AI

• when the lights switch off, you akways great Moon with a smile and a wave. Moon always loved taking control of the body, and the first sight he sees is you

• of course, when he comes out, he has to go on his patrols, he cant just skip them, so every night he has to leave you for alittle bit, it usually lasted only 30 minutes, since Moon could move aroubd fast, and he had the plex memorized

• and he also wants to get back to you asap, cause after you soend so much time with Sun, he wont admit it, but he gets very jealous

• once he gets back, you're usually finishing the cleaning ir checking the daycare's inventory to see if you needed to buy some more items

• and moon will always walk up behind you, and snatch you away from your work

• no matter how much you try to struggle, moon will not let go of you

• He likes to bring you over to the napping area of the daycare and set you in a nest of Pillows he made, and before you can even conplain, he has flopped himself down on your lap, preventing you from getting up

• i like to imagine Moon being a cuddler, too, just not as clingy as Sun could be, but he also loves being held at the same time. And when he does it, he gets you to stop working, rest, and pay attention to him! It was a win in his book, he likes keeping you with him for long periods of time, even preventing you from going to the bathroom, and just whins until you agree to stay

• You always would give in, and relax along the pillows while petting Moons head, who would chirp in approval

• Unlike Sun, he tends to pur when he is happy, especially when he is receiving affection from you, much like a cat

• pet his chin, he LOVES that

• he also loves playing games with you in the dark of the daycare, likehis favorite, hide and seek! You always thought it was unfair, but moon loved it, and so did you

• He would always find you though, regardless of how hard you try, and absolutely teases you about it, he is such a big tease

• though, he likes spending time with you in other ways too!

• especially when you two are lazying around, either Moon sprawled across your lap, or you sprawled ontop of moon, he loves to read to you!

• whether it be a kids book, or any normal book, he loves reading to you snd having you listen, especially when you fall asleep to the sound of his voice

• and will absolutely love it when you read to him, he adores your voice, he could listen to it forever

• if you do manage to fall asleep in Moons nests of blankets and Pillows, moon would admire you for a moment, before adjusting you into a more confy position, and curling up around you, and entering rest mode with you

• he likes the comfy quiet you two share with eachother, he prefers it rather than jt being so loud, he didnt like loud

• that being said, he hates loud, especially when its loud towards YOU. Moon can tend to be quiet protective at times, after he acciently hurt you the first time you met him, he wanted to make sure you didnt end up getting hurt again under his watch

• to help him calm down, youll have to cup Moons chin with both of your hands and make him look at you, before pressing a kiss to his head and whispering reassurance to him

• Automatically calms down and lets himself sooth at your comforting words to him

• Before dragging you away to a safe place alone and cuddling you, not wating to let you go

• just make sure you pet his face, he loves that, and pressing loving kisses to his face, he will relax completely, but still refuses to let you go, and you dont mind

• Moon likes keeping you close, he likes to know that you trust him to protect you, it makes his purrs rumble even louder in your ears when he nestles his face into your neck, pressing his teeth to your skin in little kisses

• moon seems scary, but he is such a softy, especially for you, and he loves you, verh very much, he would never let any harm come to you

• he just wants you to feel safe around him

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I’ve had a very long day so I’m sorry that my kkg talk is so late but!

This idea of Gai’s teeth changing during his “night Gai” mode to predator like teeth popped into my head awhile ago and I’ve been thinking about him learning how to maneuver through life with them by the local sharp toothed dog man™️ Kakashi hatake himself.

Just domestic (and maybe wild if you wanted to add👀) content of Gai learning his new set of teeth with Kakashi guiding him to not bite his tongue off. Maybe it leads to Gai exploring his new body gender wise and coming to terms with long time coming identities and Kakashi slowly learning his own identities due to being at Gai’s side of his journey the whole time etc!

They’re both very trans to me in different ways. Kakashi is nonbinary to me and Gai is a trans masc person but them being trans in any way is just so important and in character!

They are both such trans characters, abd i’m goad so much of their fandoms agree even if just how they’re trans is different between everyone.

I love the thought if Gai struggling with biting himself a lot at first and Kakashi giving him small pointers, not even really thinking of it.

‘Slow down’

‘Don’t chew so rough or you’ll bite your tongue off’

And Kakashi even suggesting he take time to explore just how different his teeth are by running his tongue along them. Showing him how he does it, and in that moment really giving Gai a good look at his teeth

Gai always knew Kakashi had sharp teeth, he has the marks on his shoulders from Kakashi’s love bites to probe it and he’s felt the pointy edges on his lips and to guess when they kiss, but he never really got a good look at them.

And i love the idea of Gai getting some gender euphoria he didn’t expect from these pretty new pointy teeth. He never thought his teeth could be something so gendered, but here he is smiling to himself every-time someone comments on his teeth.

I think the biggest thing Kakashi would help him with though is smiling in a way that doesn’t end up with him accidentally biting himself, because that man smiles so big and bright that i can absolutely see himself sinking his teeth into his lips by accident and getting very frustrated about it

Thankfully he doesn’t have to deal with the mask and biting issue XD he has helped Kakashi get mask out of his teeth after he bite someone so many times that he lost count, and he never wants to experience the feeling of something so fabricey in between his teeth because it always looked so uncomfortable when Kakashi was going through it XD

Nsfw under the cut

Also, Kakashi having to teach Gai to tuck his top lip over his sharp teeth whenever he wants to go down on Kakashi because he nicked Kakashi once when he went a lil too hard and Kakashi still hasn’t forgiven him

Getting cut down there SUCKS regardless of what parts you have and neither of them want a repeat

Now Gai knows how hard Kakashi has been working not to injure him for years XD

Also, fun though

Gai has like 15 years of love bites (if they were FWB) to make up for, and he is not wasting a second XD

[laf-outloud]

https://www.tumblr.com/laf-outloud/729317893590990848/you-would-see-for-yourself-i-think-if-you-ever

Sorry, I don’t know the whole context of this, so forgive me if I’m missing the point a bit. I’m doing some inferring on what the OG quoted post might have been, but it made me think of something.

I think there is some truth to actually being at a con to understand the atmosphere there, like CE cons (or Comic Cons, to be fair). Different cities gave different atmospheres for sure and some are worse than others, but for the most part, people treat the actirs fine in ops and things.

It’s definitely true that Jared gets some shitty people wearing insulting shirts or giving him the cold shoulder on their ops. Utterly unacceptable, and this kind of thing should be squashed, but that requires having workers who pour over social media because some insults are more obscure (while others are obvious). But then we also see that Jensen gets insulting morons, too, only many of them are too dumb to realize they are insulting him, or no one taught them not to be creepy weirdos. Anyway, my point with this is that both a Jared and a Jensen get some shitty interactions, and both seem to get them from Jensen fans. But, despite these examples, most people are nice at cons, the dicks are the exception. Things often look miles worse on Twitter or wherever than they were in person, so I agree with the idea that someone has to be at a con (like CE) to fully get what it’s really like. Again, not excusing bad behavior.

On the other hand, those people who deliberately cut Jared out of answers at panels, while dicks, I guess unless they actually insult him, there isn’t a rule that you have to ask both actors a question, it’s just common courtesy. However, for the attention whores who use their time to gush over Jensen ("I worship the ground you walk on" 👀), or who monopolize the actor’s time by trying to have mini convos (people asking Food questions or ask them for food recommendations at local places tend to do this a lot) or who tell whole ass stories about themselves (or stand on chairs to literally show of their stalker-level tattoos) need to be stopped by CE Staff or volunteers. If this is too uncomfortable for " the volunteer" con workers who aren’t really permanent fixtures at each con, then they need to hire people running the mics who are permanent abd who aren’t afraid to shut people down on the spot.

I’m glad your con experience seems to have been very good, and that they made the rules for questions explicitly clear from the start. And people respected them.

I think one problem with CE is the fact that they just have the band play between panels when a staff member should actually introduce the guests and remind the audience of what is not allowed. CE seems to rely too heavily on the actors, or band, to do the heavy lifting like transitioning between panels, and that can put them in awkward positions if they are supposed to lay down rules for the audience.

Anyway, sorry fir the ramble. I guess in short, I just wanted to chime in that most CE con-goers are either nice, or at least mind their own business, but I agree something needs to be done about the shifty ones. And CE really needs to get more serious about informing their own rules.

Oh yeah, I agree! I don't think I ever mentioned that there were a ton of people doing crappy things at CE cons, just the minority who do exactly what you talked about. If it wasn't clear, I just think that having only Jared at a multi-fandom convention weeds out the few who do make it a point to be rude towards him because they are there to see the other guy. (I don't know what Jensen's going to do when he's on his own. Hopefully, there are enough GA fans to drown out the AAs.)

"CE seems to rely too heavily on the actors, or band, to do the heavy lifting like transitioning between panels" I would say this is a cost-cutting measure on Creation's part, but I suppose if the contract with the band includes managing panels, then there's not much that can be done. And it wouldn't really be that hard for Rob or Rich, or any other band member to address the audience at the beginning with the rules, but apparently no one likes to be seen as the disciplinarian.

As for Creation, I would love to know if they've actually enforced any of their rules in recent years, particularly the ones listed below.

[lostjudgmnt]

i nearly just oosted this plain but i at least still gave the mental whatever the fuck to put it under a cut sorry guys i’ll be normal in a minute cw for me having some sort of meltdown though idk. pretty intense shit

i love…………. this fucked up mental cycle im in where. im just having a really nasty mixed episode rn so im like. my sleep is so off im rapidly swinging from feeling completely fine to have violent fucking melt/breakdowns/shutdowns to being actually decently happy maybe to having terrible ocd spikes and spirals and its been months and i cant tell if its getting better or not and am pretty convinced in actuality faking the whole thing even though the worst of it is happening when im completely fucking alone and i cant tell if my thoughts are my own or if im pretending to be someone who isnt me and tbese “symptoms” are just me pretending im someone im noy but convincing myself its real or something i dont fucking know but im going fucking crazy but im not telling anyone but i feel like im in a pressure cooker and i feel like im under too mich pressure to be normal and okay and not kill myself even though its all too much pressure

like it sucks because the fact that i kind of feel like im completely fine but also like im going absolutely insane at the same time is not helping the fact that im convincing myself that my intrrusive thoughts and spirals and obsessions and whateber else i have going on are all fucking fake and im just putting on some sort of fucked up show for myself or something like im pretending to be someone else so i feel ~different~ and ~special~ and mentally ill because i guess its fucking fun qnd quirjy as opposed to literally so fucking miserable and preventing me from sleeping wnd locking my body up in uncomfortable positions that i can’t really move from but i can AOMETIMES so im just doing yhat to myself for FUN like goddamn. im not making any sense and part of me is telling me i should be correcting all these typos because godforbid i dont fucking sanitize myself because if it looks too raw its more proof that im faking all this shit and pretending yo look like im doing badly or whatever because im fine actually i feel fine!!!!!!!! what fuckung ever.

i actively hide that im actually driving myself insane from myself abd others because i feel like i have to at least pretend im doig well and then i get hurt when no one can tell im doing poorly as if its not ky own fucking fault and then convince myself that its not actually that bad and that its all fake actually and im making everything i experience up or exaggerating everything or what fucking ever when im having violent and geaphic intrusive thoughts about myself and compulsively beating my head against the floor when im completely alone and there’s sno one to see it like obviously thats fucking fake right. nesus chrisy

i shouldnt post this and maybe poisting it is hust another sign that this is all made up and im just doing it for attention i cant steas enough that im just calmly sitting in a chair at my best friend’s house alone in the dark whole typing this right now i literally feel completely normal but also i guess apparently absolutely insane at the same time but maybe i dont feel insanw. but also i was hyperventilating and slamming my head yo the ground qns could hardly move my body on the floor like i dunno 20 minutes ago and my head hurts. but maybe that was fakw too. i dont even know who’s thoughts are in my head right now

i dont know i guess i feel like i need to actually make some sort of record of this shit somewhere but i’ll ignore it if its somewhere completely private but i’ll want to kill myself even more if its somewhere like q diacord server for some reason so here’s the only place i feel i can go. i dont fucking know why. maybe because here someone can reassure me but i dont have to freak the fuck out of the people i actually interact with on w daily basis or something. i dont know. i dont know if any of this is actually me or if any of this is real and i dint even know if im gonna look at this later because maybe i dont want to know if its all real or not. i dont fucking know

im trying to will myself to take my LITERAL MEDICATION i got prescribed to treat my DIAGNOSED FUCKING BIPOLAR DISORDER that im convinced isnt fucking real and wouldnt becausing me to be insane for any reason. goddamn. im shit at taking it the way imsupposed to because im supposed to take it in the morning to but i dont do mornings and have no routine for the mornings at all. i need time figure that the fuck out and maybe it wilp fix me but maybe not because im probably fakung all this shit anyway and meds cant fix what isn’t actually there. jesus christ

i know i sound insane btw i still cant tell if thats “proof” of anything, authenticity or otherwise i dont fucking know. shit.

im moving in m getting up from sitting completely calmly in this chair and im taking my pm meds as diagnosed and im gonna go upstairs to lay down in the guest bed across the room from my best friend who went to bef almost an hour ago and im gonna sleep and im gonna wake up as a normal person and none of this is real and im being overdramatic and fake. good fucking night

[dragonmistressivy]

Meant to post this last night but the internet cut out on me.

Today did not good well. We are now on a night cruise. I got patted down because “i was suspicious looking and walking like i was hiding something” of course i was walking weird i am disabled. Also of course i would look suspicious compared to everyone else wearing stuff for like a beach. I am wearing almost all ack and a baggy hoodie. I fucking hate myself of course i am hiding my whole body. Also there is so many fucking mirrors. There is so many. Also i found out that the one 15 year old on the tour is a trans girl. She passes so much i only found out she was trans when she made a joke to one of her friends. She obviously never went through male puberty. I will never look like that. It is too late for me to look anything like her. She is so pretty and seems to have had the correct childhood given she has tons of friends who are girls and she seems happy and not dysphoric about anything. I will never be anything like that and it makes me want to die more. Also i am in even more pain than yesterday so just want to die. Also all the girls had so much fun today and they were so happy. I will never be happy abd it feels too late to even try to be happy because it wouldn’t happen. Not even close. Might get a little closer with tons of surgeries but those are at least 5 years away and i can’t late. If i late i will die. I just can’t late. I probably wouldn’t see the day when i can get those surgeries . And even then they wouldn’t fix some of my major issues with myself. Also apparently i mentioned wanting to die one too many times last bight to my mom because she asked me if we need to put me on suicide watch. It’s not my fault being in pain(mentally and physically), being exhausted, and feeling like i will never be enough or happy. I will die probably before i turn 20 or most likely earlier than that. Also my told me things like how life is full of things you don’t want to do and is uncomfortable for you to do. My life is just suffering so that just makes me want to not live more. Everything she says about adult life sounds like hell with no escape because i don’t have friends or loved ones. I want out

[askfucktoyfelix]

hello felix! i’ve been looking at your blog for quite a while as i want to become more sex positive and connected to my body and sexuality!

do you have any tips for unlearning the discomfort with being seen/thought of sexually? my partner, who i absolutely love and adore, will sometimes message me that he’s thinking about me when he’s masturbating, and i immediately feel this deep sadness and rejection as if he just dumped me

i want to fix this to get closer to him,, but i just don’t know how :(

If i were in your position Id first want to examine where these feelings of discomfort are coming from. You don't have to share those with me, but it could be coming from a number of different sources and how to unlearn or heal those depends on what caused them. It can be just one main cause, or a combination of many.

For some people it has to do with sex negative messaging theyve internalized: that being sexually desired is the same thing as being reduced to an object...for example. It may be other messages too. Anything that could encourage shame around sex could create these feelings. In this case I would work to write out whatever the opposite messages are to the ones you've heard, so you can be prepared to associate being sexually desired with the things YOU want it to be associated with. Instead of "being sexually desired is objectifying" it could be "when people who love and respect me sexually desire me, i can trust that they still view me as a whole person" This still takes time and patience to fully internalize, abd it gelps if you have people irl you can have support you.

It could also have to do with traumatic events regarding being sexually desired in the past. I think many of us have experienced times when someone left us feeling afraid, and that can create long term negative associations. This can be complex, and therapy irl would likely be the safest way to help address it. Especially EMDR therapy if you can find it.

There are sometimes complex ways that body and self image tie into this as well. If you don't love the body you have, it can feel jarring and uncomfortable when someone else...does. I know that following more sex workers online that share your body type is something that can help. As well as cultivating a gratitude mindset about all the things your body does for you. This is a deep topic you can dive into more if this resonates with you.

Other things to ask yourself: do you masturbate? why or why not? do you think of your partner if you do masturbate? if not, maybe consider exploring that with yourself. have you talked to your partner about the feelings youre working through? what ways do you think he could best support you?

Theres no wrong or right answers to any of these questions, theyre just tools to help you understand where youre at, what you want, and how you can maybe get there.

There are probably a lot of things that I didn't even consider but i hope this was helpful!

[thedragonqueen1998]

Funniest part? When it became official that Loki and Desmond where dating and having kids together, Bill gave Desmond a huge box of condoms. XD He says: "Maybe you can become pregnant on your own, but please try to be responsible... I worry about your health." before leaving, looking very uncomfortable and red. XD

Yes! Pretty much all the big arguments come from the Kenways and all are because they might be adults, but their bodies are not. Emotions are big, you know.

Omg, Edward would sooo wanna try to dye his hair funny colours! XD Clay is a shit stirrer abd encorages him and Desmond has to have a family meeting explaining how some things are not meant for kids and no, you might be adults, but your bodies are not. And i am your mother, so what i say goes! Desmond has a bit more respect and understanding for his father after the whole debacle. Just a tiny bit. XD

Oooo, the first time Clay and Desmond have an argument("You are not carrying a knife around!"), Clay yells "Your not my dad!" and instantly regrets it when he sees the hurt in Desmonds eyes. Desmond just leaves before he can say anything hurtful and Clay feels so bad. Cue the scene where Desmond sits on the roof top and Clay comes and sits down besides him, aplogising. Desmond just pulls him to his side saying he knows he didn't mean to hurt him and they just sit there, watching the city lights, comforting each other.

@thedragonqueen1998's reply to this post

That new tag actually is an idea/AU i've thought of lately. XD Where Desmond gives birth to Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton before being kidnapped. I've personally had him just suddenly become pregnant, no sex needed to lean more into the "Desmond is the Chosen One". XD Plus, we need more Dadmond tbh.

Virgin Birth.

Desmond had never even heard about it until he googled ‘Is it possible to get pregnant without having sex?’.

This is, according to Wikipedia, different from Immaculate Conception.

Desmond would like to reiterate that he was not the second coming of Virgin Mary.

… as far as he knew.

Not only that, he had been a virgin before he gave birth, having enough trust issues to fill a goddamn dam at the moment.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to know how sex feels like.

It was more that he was still scared that his father or someone his father sent would come find him and take him away from this freedom.

He can’t go back.

He would never go back.

Especially now that he had three sons to think of.

They were born on December 21, 2005.

At least, that was what Desmond believed.

The morning of December 21, his stomach started hurting so badly he couldn’t leave his bed. The pain ebbed and flowed from paralyzing pain to almost unnoticeable, giving Desmond a chance to text that he wouldn’t make it to his shift because of ‘stomachaches’.

His boss assumed he had diarrhea and told him to stop eating weird cheap shit.

Desmond was pretty sure that wasn’t it but it wasn’t like he could go to a clinic and get this check out.

Clinics meant asking questions about who he was and his history.

Clinics left tracks that William Miles can find.

Desmond knew how the game is played.

And fuck that. Desmond wasn’t going to give up his goddamn freedom because of a stomachache.

It will come to pass.

Like every pain Desmond ever felt.

So he closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Inhaling deeply before slowly exhaling, timing his breathing to the ebb and flow of the pain.

By midday…

Desmond fell asleep.

He didn’t know if the breathing helped him fall asleep or if he had passed out from the exhaustion and pain.

When he woke up, the sun had started to set and…

The pain was gone.

His bed was a lost cause, covered in blood, but Desmond’s attention was focused on the three small forms lying on the bed between his legs.

His sons.

Three bloodied (and, Desmond was being honest, wrinkly newly born ugly) babies who were all staring at him as they make cooing sounds.

That was the day Desmond became a father.

And also the day he googled ‘Is it possible to get pregnant without having sex?’.

They were… low maintenance boys, Desmond supposed.

They only shout when they needed to get Desmond’s attention and they weren’t fussy over their drinks. They seemed a bit disgruntled every time Desmond had to change their diapers but they didn’t cry.

They rarely cry.

They only truly cry at times when they were asleep and Desmond believed that they would have nightmares during those times.

His boss was strangely alright with Desmond suddenly appearing with three babies, only looking at him with a frown as he told him that this should be his wake up call to use condoms.

Even his coworkers believed that the one day that Desmond said he was out because of ‘stomachache’ had been code for him freaking out because an ex had left him with three sons as a big fuck you or something.

The most support Desmond got from them though was letting the babies stay in the office.

He had to buy the collapsible playpen though but it was fine.

It gave him an excuse to get more shifts just to pay for his and his sons’ living expenses.

One of his coworkers asked why he didn’t just give them up for adoption. It was clear that he wasn’t ready for it.

And Desmond couldn’t explain it.

He wanted them.

They might have been a surprise but… they were his.

And…

Whenever he felt tired or felt like everything was becoming too much… just feeling them in his arms was enough.

It was enough.

.

.

Miles’ kids were strange boys.

They didn’t make any messes and they were polite… most of the time, anyway.

He knew it was bad to let Miles use his office to keep the kids. Hell, this bar was not a good place for kids and Miles should really just get a babysitter but he didn’t mind.

Miles was homeschooling them… in a way.

It wasn’t his place to give parenting advice anyway so he stayed out of whatever Miles planned for his kids. As long as they don’t hinder business, they could stay.

Altaïr was always on that second hand battered laptop that always made loud fan noises when it was turned on. They mostly kept it on because of it.

At first, he thought Altaïr was just playing in his laptop but… he was studying. Every tab he could see was either educational or… well… Wikipedia pages. Even the YouTube account Desmond shared with his sons were filled with educational videos, mostly something connected to history or engineering or technology.

Desmond liked to say that Altaïr was a genius and had been saving up to buy him a better laptop for the past year now.

Ezio, on the other hand, was more of a people’s person. He liked to talk to Desmond’s coworker before the start of their shift and he was a charming little bugger. Charming enough that many of Desmond’s coworkers started to give them food and juice boxes, saying they made too much or their parents or grandparents gave them too much food and there’s no more space in their fridge…

He was pretty sure that was Ezio’s plan from the very beginning. Build up a network of helpful adults.

Then there was Connor.

He had a different name that Desmond and his brothers use but it was hard to pronounce so he just let everyone else call him Connor.

He followed his father or one of his brothers most of the time, quiet by their side.

Observing.

He was the one who helped out the most, always following Desmond and helping him whenever they were doing their final clean up before closing for the day.

When he was with Ezio, he was always earnest with his questions, taking everything the adults tell him seriously.

When he was with Altaïr, he would lean close and read with him quietly. They would share the earbuds that they had with tape on the right wire because the casing had broken apart and watch videos quietly.

They were… nice kids.

Desmond was a good father dealt with a bad hand.

He supposed…

Buying Desmond a cheap laptop would be cheaper than raising his pay this Christmas.

Would save him more money in the long run, that’s for sure.

[marunalu]

Do you think characters can hate another character, but still class them as someone as a person near and dear to them despite negative feelings? I mean I guess Shouto had negative feelings towards Enji, but has show he cares but yeah

Yes I think so. For example, izuku is aware that bakugou is a jerk, he is to some degree aware that what bakugou did to him was wrong and he even said once (very much at the beginning of the manga) that he hates him. I think izukus feelings for bakugou are very complicated and with MANY red flags, because the manga shows clearly that izuku is NOT over his past trauma about bakugou abusing him for 12 years, he still calls himself by the insults bakugou gave him (useless, worthless and nerd), because it was hammered down so hard into his brain that izuku believes bakugou is right about him. Remember how shocked he was when toga told him that she is in love with him? Thats because for izuku its unthinkable that someone could love him like that. But despite the terrible things bakugou did, izuku doesnt want something bad happen to him. But that has more to do with izukus good hearted personality and him still living in the past at a time before the abuse startet and he and bakugou were still "friends". Izuku cant let go of that and thats why bakugou needs to stay the fuck away from izuku.

To make an way more personal example. I was severly bullied for 4 years when I was between 12 abd 16 years old. It wasnt just one or two people, but a whole mob in my school, even people I didnt even know nor I ever speaked one word with. They bullied me and other "weak" and "uncool" kids, just because they could and because to them

bulling others = I belong to the cool guys group.

Even one of my friends I knew since kindergarden startet to bully me the most of all (both physically and emotional), because she wanted to belong to the cool girls. She is literally my personal bakugou, only that I have thankfully no contact with her anymore. But despite what they did to me, I dont want something bad happen to them. I have forgiven them, but I dont want them near me. The funny thing is, sometimes I see a few of my past bullys at my workplace. They are nice to me, ask how Im doing but not one of them is able to look into my eyes. They avoid to look directly at my eyes and I can see that they are ashamed for what they did and dont really know how to treat or speak to me. Thats my very own personal revenge at them, because unlike them I can look them into their eyes without flinching and make them feel uncomfortable without even doing something, by just reminding them what terrible assholes their once were. So like I said, I dont want harm to come over them or they loved ones, but I still dont like them or want them near me.

With shoto its also a bit complicated I think. At the beginning shoto rightfully hated his father, but when endeavor startet to change for the better, shoto was able to see that too. He is ready to give enji a second chance, but that doesnt mean the past is forgotten now, because it never will be. I wouldnt say shoto startet to love his father, but he cares enough for him that he doesnt want something bad happen to him, because we need to remember that shoto is still just a 16 year old boy who never really knew what it means to have a loving father in his life and I think a part of him craves for that. Similar how izuku lashes himself so easy on male father figures like all might, aizawa, gran torino and to some degree even endeavor, because of his lack of his own father in his life.

[pepprs]

•

[peakywitch]

Too much, too less - Michael Gray

A/N: eeeh angsty of course lmao sorry... THIS GIF 🤰🤰🤰

Words: 1k maybe idk i didn't count

masterlist

Christmas was one of Y/N favourite times of the year. Her family always celebrated it with joy, love and a lot of laughter. The whole year they worked day and night, just to be able to spend cozy and warm festivities.

It was, of course, all she could remember. Then, war wiped her dad away from his family fingers, and her mom disappeared into the horizon inside a gipsy caravan with a Lee after the letter from his death came in, as a desperate way of escaping grief. And so, the only Christmas she would never forget was Christmas 1918. It was a cold, grey and lonely Christmas.

When the town heard from her misery, they all handed out their hand to help the lost girl.

They tried to find a job that would suit an eighteen year old, and she found her place by Polly Gray’s side. With her nephew’s in France, she needed an extra helping hand in the betting den. And you could tell her skill was treating customers, you could see it in the way she smiled, she acted and she laughed at the silly jokes men did. She helped them by sometimes giving hints on which horse would win, and that’s how she won everyone’s heart.

When the boys came back, they took a quick liking at her. The Shelby brothers found her warm teas almost bewitching, they tasted like a little bit of peace. Christmas 1919 wasn't so horrible, after all, she found herself in a new family, with good older brothers and a motherly figure who would always be there for her, no matter what.

And in 1921 he appeared: Michael fucking Gray. A man with such a superiority complex yet to show, but someone could sense it in the way he began to make his way into the company.

And so he did, he got a job as accountant in the company, leading Y/N to a horrible destiny: being his assistant.

She felt the need to stay quiet, she could not end up in the streets. So, Y/N would always help Michael when he demanded her help. And now, he felt like he owned her. Y/N do this, do that, take note, erase, write, speak, eat, stop speaking. And being bossed around by someone who is your own age and more stupid than you, it’s a pain in the ass.

“Don’t you think you are a little too loud?” he asked once, coming out from his office to find her laughing with Johnny Doggs.

Maybe she was too loud.

“Sorry, Michael, it’s my fault…” said Johnny, trying to stop his laughter.

“It’s ok Johnny, but she needs to stop being so loud.”

It felt like cold water splashing over her.

Then, one happy night in the Garrison, he did another remark.

"Do you really think that joke was funny? You're trying way too hard."

Men who wanted to hear her jokes and laugh, could now only see her smile. And it happened too when she went out with Isaiah, Finn and now Michael. She was always laughing, drinking beer and making jokes. But her jokes became small smiles, and hours of fun abd endless beers became twenty minutes of being uncomfortably seating by his side.

But it was Christmas 1925, when the family found out how she had been feeling the past year since she started being Michael’s assistant.

It was the 24th of December, and the whole family was gathered in the master dining room, while the house employees were serving the food. She was sitting between Lizzie and Esme, drinking champagne and laughing at stories they told.

She couldn't keep her laugh inside, and she kept on laughing with every word the women spoke. Everyone loved to hear her laugh, she always made everyone happy.

And when she calmed down, after a few seconds she heard Michael whispering to Isaiah underneath his breath:

“Don’t you think she is too loud?” he asked, with a chuckle, but Is kept a straight face, Y/N was staring at both of them.

When Michael moved away from Isaiah, he had a weird smile, as if he had won something. They both connected their eyes, she would be throwing champagne in his face in any minute.

And then she felt it, the courage building inside her, and erupting from her body.

“Stop it.” she demanded, with a straight face. Her stomach tangled.

“Stop what?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, playing dumb

“Stop telling me I’m too much. Too chatty, too happy, too excited."

"And don't forget about too nosy and too loud."

She laughes in disbelief. Michael was always a dick, he thought of himself as king of the world.

"I am a woman, and maybe I am too much of a woman. Maybe I'm just too much of a fucking woman for you, and you only know how to cry about how much of a man you wish you could be." She screamed as her hands tried to stay away from the knife.

That!" He laughed, and drunk some wine "That's exactly why you keep on scaring man away. You think I didn't know you liked me? You think you are cute and pretty when you laugh? You are impossible to stand, didn't you know?"

"Michael, that's enough." Demanded Polly.

"Twenty-something and no lover, uh? Poor little girl. Must be horrible to cry yourself to sleep asking God why no man wanta you! Well there you fuckin' go! Now you know!"

She looked around, trying to run into Arthur's arms like she always did. But he was worried with his own kid now. While Ada and Polly were exchanging silent plans on what to do, Esme had her hand on John's shoulder, telling him to sit.

She was alone.

“Stop focusing on me and my happiness, and start focusing on the lack of joy and laughter your life has, Michael. My dad died and my mom left me to mourn alone, so I’m sorry if I’m enjoying life once and for all, i’m sorry your life is so dark, that you have to focus on someone else’s happiness to have something to say.”

“Y/N, I think you are being…” he began, with a defying gaze.

“Too loud? Too angry? I damn am. You will be too much of an idiot not to realize I am two times the man you are. And damn you fool, you would be a lucky guy to date a woman like me, who tries to keep a smile on her face every fuckin’ day!”

“Calm down, you don’t need to yell.” he stated, with a smile that make him look like a snake. That same smile he had every time he talked about a girl he spent the night with.

“You never had the need to be a bastard with me for the past year, yet you were. And every day i tried to bond with you, you would just brush me off with nasty comments about my smile, my clothes, my hair, my laugh. I was happy, and you took it away. So congrats Michael, now I am everything you always wanted: too quiet, too grey, too sad and too fucking boring, just like you are.”

"You're simply pathetic. As lost as a kid, I don't even know how you got this position. You can't-"

"Now I know why Charlotte wanted to abort your kid. You don't even have what it takes to be a kid yourself."

Polly stared in disbelief.

Michael was...?

Michael did.... what?

Esme and Ada stared at Finn, who was trying to hide a smile.

She cleaned her mouth with the white napkin, and excused herself.

"If by monday Michael doesn't quit, I will. Thank you for the lovely dinner, Tom. The food was amazing."

She walked out of the dining room, her heels accompanied her, letting everyone know she was heading upstairs to end her night.

"You went too far, Michael." Said Lizzie, still in shock at the news Y/N had just revealed "She didn't deserve it. And you fucking know it."

The table was one big argument. Everyone in her favor, trying to get Michael into his senses.

"Michael…" Tommy stated, and the table started to calm down "Michael, you heard her."

"Are you mental? Do you want my son to quit?" Polly fought.

"He's a adult, Pol. He has a good twenty years, ain't that right? If he doesn't want to be fired, he will sort it out. Like we all do in life."

Tommy stood with her, she knew it. And to say she was oblivious to it would be a lie. She knew. But she had supported to much.

@deepdonutkid @a-golden-sunflower-vol-6 @stydia-4-ever @natural-hearts @lovemissyhoneybee @girlwith-kalei-do-scope-eyes @peakyrogers @writeroutoftime @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @pinkeijin @lukeymybabe @eternallyvenus @anchy-bananchy @peakyswritings

[caffeineaddicted-noonie]

Hi ya! Is if okay to ask for a matchup? I saw one of your recents and I honestly really like them! Plus, after scrolling some, it seems we have similar interests so I'll be hanging around for a while. 😄 I hope you're doing well!

I'm a heterosexual female who's an INTP 5w6. If I had to label how I look it'd be "Casual Walmart". Just give me the same clothing in different colors and a pair of shoes. I don't care for looks. Also, the same goes for people too. I care more about a person's character, personality, and their actions towards the people around them. I can't stand people who think they're better than everyone and treat potential friends like tools. Moving on. 😅

To a stranger, I'm either the quiet shy type or the grumpy antisocial introvert. It takes a while for me to become comfortable around people and it takes longer to be friends or in a relationship. So a lot of people don't get to see the real me. I'm actually outgoing when I'm with close friends or relatives. I'm more expressive about my favorite things or when talking to friends. I don't feel uncomfortable asking them questions that are usually "wrong" to ask in general. I will drop everything if it means helping that person, within reason. I'm not afraid to be bluntly honest when it's needed. "Loyal as a dog" until the person proves repeatedly they ain't worth it. I'll just leave or keep a long distance if that's the case. There's much more but that would be a book worth. 😂

I can make some pretty awful dad jokes. I enjoy teasing my friends and younger siblings. (I love being the oldest. 😁) I enjoy photography, writing nonsense after midnight, stargazing on my truck, playing video games, collecting Marvel/DC (anything), and the smell of pine trees after a rainstorm. My main dislikes are cats, anyone that repeatedly hurts my family or friends, messes that can be easily cleaned, and needles.

Eyo @comic-gamer02!!! Thank you for the compliments and I have a feeling we could get along well and fast ^^ I hope you enjoy this <3 🌘🖤life and love~🖤🌒

I MATCH YOU UP WITH

EYELESS JACK 💙

patience invites… log 1 - friends 🌹

+ As we all know, Jack or EJ is an introverted person or being or demon boy. He is also one of the ’doctors’ in the creepypasta household. + However, he is actually an ambivert! I headcanon that for him and no one can make me change it òuó + He looks like an introvert because he’s just lazy to interact with the people around him. + You on the other hand, is quite different from him. He’s lazy to talk, you’re uncomfortable to talk to the ones around you. + So there you were, all alone, on a single couch in the living room. His favourite spot to sit in the whole damn world. + He notices that you sit there a lot and just do…basically nothing. + Besides sitting and staring or playing with whatever you were holding. + He doesn’t mind, he’s just weirded out to why. + You didn’t talk to anyone at all. I mean, everyone was there…including Slenderman. But, you were just…silent. + Until! Jane asked what you wanted to watch. ”Uhm…whatever?” you said with an awkward smile. + Well guess what, there is a movie called ’Whatever’ from the year 1998. + However, you grew familiar with the creeps. As the days go by, you got more comfortable with them and you interected with them more often. + EJ notices. One day, when you were sitting on his favourite seat in the world, he said, ”Hey, that’s actually uh my sofa so…” ”..oh..*you got off and went*” He just watched you go and he sat on his sofa. + HOLY CRAP WERE YOU EMBARASSED. + Why? You sat at his sofa almost everyday without knowing it was his. You babbled abd babbled to Jane about it. ”I SAT ON HIS SOFA. HIS. SOFA.” ”uhuh, and I don’t see the-” “THE PROBLEM. IS THAT I WAS QUIET FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND JUST WELL, SAT THERE!” ”uhuh..first thing first, calm down,” + so you went up to him and apologised, he had his mask off at that time. ”Oh..it’s nothing..” he said with a small cute smile and pats your head. + OK, ANOTHER EMBARASSMENT BECUASE HE JUST PAT YOUR HEAD SOFTLY RIGHT AFTER HE GAVE YOU A PRECIOUS SMILE + oo crush~ + You babbled again to Jane, and she concludes.. ”You have a crush on him huh?” ”,,ò>ó,, duh” + Lucky you, he wanted to be friends. But he didn’t straight up tell you of course. He just showed you he wanted to, with actions. + He hang out with you often, walking around, having lunch, accompanying you after midnight. + teach him to play video games please. It’s not that he’s never played, he’s just really bad at it. ”What’s the triangle icon for,” ”It’s-“ ”What about the square?” ”That’s for-“ ”Is the circle supposed to be pressed?” ”Let.me.finish.” ”ok” yeah, xbox controllers can be very confucing huh? + He’s soft spoken af. + Your outgoing, helpful, and expressive personality, he’s jealous of it. The good kind of jealous (>u<) He really admires thet about you.

love is in the end log 2 - lovebirds ❤️

+ who confessed first? Kinda, you. + It was excidental. You didn’t mean to tell him that he was adorable. ”Why should I take the rabbit ears off?” ”Just do it!*you attempt to take it from his head*” ”*chuckles and grabs your wrist* Why?” ”BECAUSE YOU LOOK ADORABLE AND MY CHEEKS ARE BURNING” ”o- then why would I?,” ”JACK!” ”pfft-“ + He is a tease! (ahhh) + he may be soft, but he is very very over—protective. He will ’mark’ you, with your consent of course. + He advices you to think before literally dropping everything just to help someone, ”You yourself is way more important,” he’d tell you that. + Your blunt honesty makes you look strong and confident. He loves that about you. + But! That does not mean he will not interfere with your problem. He will stand either behind you or glare at anyone that has a problem with you. + (Why do I feel you are easily flustered? Maybe you are) he literally loves to tease you, probably a 24/7 hobby (ahahah) + he’ll sometimes take pictures of you sleeping and put it on your mirror or show you when you wake up. ”This is one of the cutest photo of you..” ”Really? which one— I AM DROLLING IN MY SLEEP IN THAT ONE!” ”Exactly!” ”JACK!” + When you go stargazing, he’d probably bring a telescope with. He really loves to admire you when you stargaze because when you do, your eyes outshine the night sky itself. You’ll be laying on your back while this man on his side, looking at you. + ”Are you even stargazing?” ”No..” ”Why?” ”Because I’m moongazing…” ”The moon is not out Jack..” ”yeah, but if I were to call it ’stargazing’ it wouldn’t fit the name…” ”Why is that?” ”Because there are a lot of stars and one of you..so,hence..moongazing..” + I see him as a Marvel fan, but, he would also be interested with DC. ”Wait…Batman has 4 Robins?” ”Yeah, wait, no, he has one,” ”Then who’s Dick Grayson, Jason Todd and Tim Drake..” ”They WERE his Robins..” “Ohhh..damn..he really loves orphans huh..” ”lmao what” + He doesn’t understand why you dislike cats but he just shrugs it off. Ok, he’s a ’doctor’. Therefore, he keeps needles in a place where only he knows where. + He will love you endlessly. Peppers kisses for fun. Cuddle when bored. You two, very wholsome. AF.

<< here you go! Your cat dynamic!!>>

HIYO! I am so sorry this took so long ^^” Hope you have a great day and Take Care! <3

[zuffer-weird-girl]

What if kaito hears his parents fight and goes to pops for comfort and the next day he ask if they are getting divorced abd they are like "WHAT why would you ever think that"

The elder was simply enjoying some music while taking care of his bonsai trees before he heard the door slidding open to reveal a rather shaken up and sad Kaito Chisaki.

"Would you look at that, if it isn't my favorite grandson." He chuckled but furrowed his eyebrows at seing that Kaito didn't giggled or returned with a smartass comment like 'I'm your only grandson'.

No. This time the boy just was stating at the ground, fidgeting with the end of his shirt as his serious eyes were slightly pink. The old man could see that the kid didn't dared to spare a tear, but he sure as hell was doing his best on not doing it.

"Right." He sighed and placed the special scissors down on the table before taking his own seat, inviting Kaito silently to do the same.

"To leave you or your father on this state it takes a lot. Mind telling your old man what left you on this state kid?"

Kaito sniffled and rubbed his little arm over his eyes before placing them back on his lap, hands tightening over the material of his pants.

"Mommy and daddy are fighting on the other room... they didn't let me stay, but I know is something wrong."

"Ah. That." The boy nodded and the elder smiled in sympathy, lifting himself up with a grunt to pat Kaito on the head affectionately "Listen Kaito, whatever it is, I'm sure neither of your mom or dad will stay much like this... those two cant bare at being separated, even if your own father doesn't show it."

He could see that Kaito wasn't convinced, but at least he could do was to ease up his shaking a bit.

"What about some tea, eh, my boy? Or even some other things, a secret mine and yours to keep it away from your dad, how about it?" He mentally sighed in relief when Kaito nodded and half smiled at him before following the old man through the house.

When he went to sleep he received the ocasional kiss on the temple from you and the pat on his head by his dad... yet they were separated. Kai went first in the room and immediately left when you entered.

He turned around on his bed to grab his plushie, one that both you and kai had given him as far as he could remember... then, one word came to his mind that left him crying himself to sleep for the first time on his short life.

Divorce.

~

He woke up with a grunt, rubbing his face, dried tears still remained on his chubby cheeks and a slight wet spot wa son his companion.

He slowly got out from the bed and placed the elephant just on his pillow and numbly walked out of his room... receiving the same silence, torturous silence he got yesterday from his parents.

"Ah. Finally awake?" His father spoke from the chair, not even lifting his gaze from his book "Had to admit, first time on ages I got to wake up without you as allarm."

Although, Chisaki arched his eyebrow when his kid hesitantly took a seat, not even answering him back like he usually did...

He could feel it that you sended that too, because he caught your worried and confused eyes on him as you made your son's breakfast.

"So... did you sleep well baby?" You placed the plate in front of him and kissed his temple as a good morning, but Kaito merely hummed, numb look at the breakfast in front of him as he poked with his spoon.

"No playing with your food." Chisaki said sternly "Is considered a sin."

Again. Not response. Now you two shared rather worried looks as Kaito still stood with that empty broken shell expression.

The usual calm and peaceful silence was replaced by a very worrisome and uncomfortable one at seing your little 4 years old boy so... down.

You hesitantly took a seat just when Chisaki had placed his book away and changed out of his normal gloves to new ones. The silence was finally broken when surto murmured something so soft and weak, that neither Chisaki that had a good hearing could catch it.

"Brat, if you want to say something, then say it."

"... you two are mad and going to get a divorce?"

You choked in your own toast as Kai's nonchant golden eyes open wide at his son words... before he went to pat your back a little, because holy shit you sounded like you were dying.

"Care to explain to us where did you get that idea?" Chisaki's words were a bit harsh and angrier at his son statement, not really meaning it but this had got him out of guard.

"You two yesterday were fighting..." he mumbled sadly as you finally regained your breath, Kai looking at you dead in the eye but still rubbing your back.

"Are you alright my angel?"

You nodded and smiled a bit. Taking the events of yesterday, sure, you and Kai did had an argument because he was overworring about your safety again and becaus eof ithe pretty thing tht surely neither of you remembered. The fight happened on the afternoon but you both sorta the things out right when you two were in the safe confinement of your bedroom.

But apparently your son had taken this for the new level...

"Where did you even get that sweetie?"

"Do you even know the meaning of the word 'divorce' to accuse us of this?" Chisaki arched an eyebrow as Kaito's eyes started to tear up a bit.

"I-I... I hear it a lot coming from the tv and some man that work here... is when daddy and mommy dont love each other anymore and fight then..." he gulped down one sob, breaking your heart in half at the sign " T-Then they dont live together anymore..."

You changed looks with your husband before Kaito let out a muffled little sob, finally looking at both of you with teary eyes.

"You won't get a divorce... r-right? B-Because I-I... I-I-!" He sobbed harder this time before crossing his arms over his face "I don't want my mommy and daddy away! You two married for a reason!"

The kid started even to wail and you immediately jumped from your seat to lift him up in your arms, hushing him ever so gently as you carresed his scalp..

Kai sighed and standed up as well, hesitantly laying on hand at the boy's head as he cried on your shoulder, looking at you for any signs to help him since he never was on the best place to comfort someone.

"Honey, I love your daddy with all my soul and whole life. Of course I would never ask for a divorce." You whispered as soon as Kaito's cries calmed down, only remaining tiny sniffles here and there.

"The same way goes for me about your mother." Kaito mumbled nonchantly as Kaito lifted his face a bit, rubbing his eyes with another sniffle as his father sighed and grabbed his handkerchief.

"B-But, I heard-"

"You listen too much brat." Kai spatted as he wiped his son's tears and snot away, wincing at the disgusting wetness of the material before throwing away in the near trash can

"Parents even loving each other very much, they sometimes fight, and that's perfectly okay... as long as each one of them notices their own mistakes and sort teh things out together later." You said as you cupped your son's cheek and carresed with your thumb a bit, his bottom lip not anymore trembling as his eyes came back to his usual serious ones, but the frow still remained.

"Our fight yesterday was becaus eI worry too kuch about your mother. Is mostly that." Your husband sighed before flipping Kaito's forehead "First, there is no way that WE would want a divorce." *mostly him but okay*

"And besides, not only we love each other the same way that we always do, but we have a amazing little deviant of ours here with us that we love just as much!" Kaito finally smiled at that, as he giggled a bit.

"Right... I was silly about it..." he mumbled as you kissed his cheek giggling as Kai messed up with his hair.

"You were stupid." Your husband said nonchantly, smirking at your scold and glare before he yanked Kaito out of your grasp, rolling his eyes at the kids laughter "I can see that you didn't did your morning hygiene schedule brat."

"I won't brush my teeth before eating breaks daddy! Is gross!"

"He does have a point." You giggled while Kai sighed in defeat, placing his son back on the chair with a huff.

"Then eat, after you go to the bathroom pest." The kid smirked devilish up at his father before you traced your fingers up and down his back, getting a arched eyebrow as a response.

You only gave him a suggestive smile, for a moment forgetting that your son was in the room as he lowered his mask enough to give you a kiss... nao even during twenty second before your son's disgusted sounds interrupted both of you.

"Ew! No mommy, daddy that's more gross than anything!" He covered his eyes with a grunt "Grosssss!"

"Wasn't he crying minutes later that he wanted us both together or something like that?" Kai muttered in irritation as he arched his eyebrow, not apreciating your giggles on the slightest.