#aaaaand that's the last one for this series :)

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐒𝐮𝐢 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

genre: angst, smut, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, secret relationship

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 6.1k

chapter summary: you and joel take your relationship to the next level.

warnings: themes of grief and loneliness, hurt/comfort, fluff, body painting, joel being a very lousy nude model, oral (male receiving), heavy petting, fingering, shower sex, edging, dirty talking

a/n: aaaaand we're BACK-- the hiatus is officially over and I am so ready to focus on this series. I've missed them so much and I hope you guys all did too 💗 also special thanks to @undercoverpena for cheering me on while I was writing this, love you to the moon and back bby xx

Chapter Eleven || Chapter Thirteen

Loneliness had never been a stranger to you. You had your own brand of it, like a homemade fig preserve. Being so close with it, you’ve added something from yourself, and in return, it has branded your personality in such a way that it has become hard to think there was anything but. 

For the longest time that special brand of loneliness had been your closest friend. During adulthood, you noticed how tired you were of asking for people to be emotionally aware of your needs, your wants. You were tired of spelling it out for them. Your parents weren’t like you, neither was Auggie. No one around you was emotional like you were, so you learned to keep it locked tight in your heart. You cried at night. You smiled during the day. You felt off and weird when family members hugged you and wept on your shoulder, you dissociated. You’ve noticed this, especially at your grandfather’s funeral. He was gone and you hadn’t shed a tear among the dark black fabrics. 

Auggie knew you did this, but alas, it didn’t really matter. 

So when you found a family emotionally rich despite not having much, it came as a mild shock to you. Sarah didn’t have these issues. She didn’t care if she was emotional or not, or if what she said came off as needy. The only emotional constipation you noticed was between brothers, but even that didn’t stop them from addressing what they felt during an argument. 

You were no stranger to emotional outbursts. Reading a book and eyes welling before you could finish a sentence. 

Now, you feel less lonely thanks to Joel, Tommy, and Sarah, each filling a different gap in your withered soul. But even that doesn’t stop the old habit of sewing your mouth shut. 

You wake with a heavy weight on your chest. It’s still dark, the sky a dark shade of royal blue. It’s actually a beautiful night. However, your eyes are blind to it. Your skin is damp with sweat. If you saw a nightmare, you don’t remember what it was. You remember going to bed uncomfortable, Tommy’s sad eyes branded into your lids like tattoos you both want to and don’t want to get rid of. 

You gradually rise from the bed, the thin summer quilt sliding off your now cold body. You shudder. It had been a long time since you last felt this way. Empty and lonely. It always feels like you have to suffer through these emotions on your own, your need to smile through it more prominent than anything else. 

You smack your lips together, your tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. You need water. Ice cold water. 

Going down the stairs you don’t think how dark it is, or how some particular shadows remind you of your childhood when you would wake up thanks to the jarring sound of mosquitos, looking for comfort downstairs where your grandparents were usually up. Fuck, your chest is even heavier now. The muscle in your chest more like a cannonball than heart. You’re hyper-aware of the way your chest rises and falls with every breath and quickly, you make your way to the kitchen. 

The light of the fridge momentarily blinds you but despite your burning irises you manage to wrap your fingers around the familiar handle of the old jug. You pour yourself a big glass and take small swallows.

A soft wind caresses the outer skeleton of the house. The shadows of leaves dance over the walls, again, a familiar sight that drags you back and makes you sick simultaneously. 

“You a’right there, sweetheart?” 

You jump at the sound of a voice deepened with sleep. Tommy is staring at you from the entrance, brows furrowed, the crease between them so much like his brother. Taking another small sip of water, you swallow and place the cold glass on the counter. 

“I’m fine,” you grit out, your voice leveled. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.�� 

Before you know it, Tommy’s warm hands are on your face, cradling your cheeks. His thumbs move over your cheekbones, pressing and applying pressure over the bone. Your heart skips a beat. It takes you everything not to lean into his touch, to seek out that comfort only he could give. But you think of Joel, you think of him, and you stop yourself. If Tommy knew about you and Joel, if you were completely honest with him—an open book, you would’ve taken that comfort to yourself, not a worry in your heart but he doesn’t know and that alone makes your stomach clench with guilt. 

“You don’t look fine,” his hands slide down to your shoulders. “Was it a nightmare?” 

You blink heavily, your eyes locked on one another. Two broken people in a dark kitchen. It pains you that a nightmare is Tommy’s first guess. You wonder how many times he’d woken up to the faux scent of gunpowder and screams only to be comforted by the darkness of the ceiling. 

“Something like that. I. . sometimes forget that they’re gone,” your eyes drop to his chest. “And then I remember that no matter what, in the end, I’ll be lonely.” 

“Lonely?” he spits out the word, shocked, hurt and baffled. “What are you talkin’ about? You have Joel—You have me.” 

You know you do. You really do. But after years of going through it all alone, to see your friends have their own support systems and people to protect them, care for them, it’s hard to believe you’ve found your people. It’s hard to believe that years of solitude where you had to take care of yourself was over. Old habits die hard. Your heart shatters piece by piece. Your heart nothing but a heavy weight in your chest. You want to collapse, to scream, shout and cry. Salty tears sting the corner of your eyes. Suddenly you’re drowning in your past like it’s still your present, the thickness of it goes all the way up to your neck and you can’t breathe— 

“Hey—hey,” Tommy cups your cheeks, thumbs running down where tears would be but your skin is dry. “Come back to me, it’s a’right. I’ll always be with you, you know? Even if you move far away, I’ll always be a thorn in your ass.” 

You crack a smile and manage to nod, placing a hand over his own. You think a tear finally falls, maybe even two. You hate feeling like this. Hate it. Tommy doesn’t look convinced by your expression. 

“Do. . .do you want me to call Joel?” 

His words freeze you to the bone. Of course, he would ask that—Tommy Miller, always thoughtful, always putting others first. They both do. You even think to some extent Sarah does the same thing. All of them throwing themselves in front of a moving train in different ways. 

You don’t know if he’s noticed something. Or if he just thinks that Joel’s presence would be more soothing, since he’s used to relying on his older brother. 

Either way, you want him to know that he’s enough. 

And he’ll always be enough. 

You shake your head, “No,” he furrows his brows when you part your arms. “But I wouldn’t say no to a hug.” 

Strong arms sneak under your armpits and broad palms press against your back. Tommy pulls you incredibly close. Holds you indescribably tight. His scent fills your lungs. A bit of sweat mixed with a day-old deodorant. He smells nice. He always had. His skin is warm against your cheek and you smile widely this time but he doesn’t see. 

“Thank you, Tommy,” you whisper into the darkness. “I would be lost without you.” 

“Are you sure you’re a’right?” 

“Yes, Joel.” 

“Hundred percent sure?” 

“Yes, sir,” you declare, your gaze fixed on Joel as you peer from the side of the canvas for a better look. “Now stand still.” 

Joel grumbles something inaudible and straightens his neck, attempting to keep his limbs as still as possible. Your eyes rove across his broad shoulders, the expanse of his chest, you take in the shadows that appear between every sinewy muscle and think about how to convey it into your painting. You still haven’t dared to look further down. Looking down means that you’ll definitely be distracted. 

You sketch a couple of lines that vaguely resemble his shape. You’ve missed painting nudes and when you mentioned it to Joel, he was eager to accept without actually realizing he had to stay still for a generous amount of time. 

“You should’ve called,” he grumbles. “I would’ve come straight over.” 

“I know,” you sigh. “But it was late, and Tommy was there.” 

He doesn’t say anything but you can sense his displease. 

“He’s my friend, Joel,” you answer, observing the thick contour of his neck. “And your brother.” 

“I know that. I just don’t like the idea of not being there for you.” 

“Tell him then,” you say a bit harshly. He doesn’t seem affected by your shift in tone. Another line joins the others. “If it was anything serious I would’ve called, hell, I would’ve come to you but it wasn’t that serious. I was just in a. . . mood.” 

“Tommy sure don’t think so.” 

You don’t say anything and focus on drawing the rest of his torso, he clicks his tongue in frustration, “I hate when you do this, you know.” 

You raise your eyebrows, “Do what?” 

“Downgrade your problems. It’s okay if you’re still grievin’. It’s okay if there are some things you’re still workin’ out. I just don’t want you to think you’re alone, I can be your rock, sweetheart. I’d be happy to.” 

“You are my rock, Joel—and keep still.” He huffs and straightens again, your lips twitching into a smile. “I’ll try to open up more. Promise. I do feel really lucky I have you. And Sarah—and Tommy. Some nights I just wake up feeling bad. Yesterday was just a bit more intense.” Joel grunts in approval and you add. “Also hasn’t Tommy heard of the phrase ‘snitches get stitches’?” 

“He wasn’t snitchin’,” he pouts, you want to take his bottom lip between your fingers and kiss him. “I actually asked how he was doin’ but he quickly brushed it off and told me about you instead.” 

“Of course, he did.” 

He nods but still seems wound up like a toy. His head drops a bit, the click of your tongue reminding him to keep still. 

Your eyes trace the contours of Joel’s body. He’s an excellent specimen, everything about him so human, so raw. Every freckle, every crinkle you want to eternalize onto your canvas. He’s not looking at you anymore. Eyes glued to the legs of the easel. You still haven’t fully taken in the sight of him. Sometimes you’re truly afraid of how strongly you feel for him, how much you’d be willing to lay down just to be with him. 

Honestly, a pocket of time would be ideal. That way you could spend eternity in this peaceful moment, living in bliss. 

You place the pencil down and walk up to him. His gaze is drawn to your once more, “Sorry, sweet tea, did I move again?” 

“Maybe a bit,” you lie, standing an inch away from his naked body. You press your thumbs against his cheekbones then slide them down, feeling the roughness of hair tickling your skin. His eyes flutter shut momentarily, before opening again. 

You don’t say a word. Time is still around you and you believe if you try hard enough this can be your forever. You trace the outer lines of his lips, then trace the seam. His lips part, a bit of tongue showing in between—you touch that too, shallowly dipping one finger before moving on to his neck, “To draw is to feel,” you muster, the ball of your thumb grazing firmly over his Adam’s apple. “Will you let me feel you?” 

“‘Course,” he chokes out. “Whatever you need.” 

His words make your chest swell with affection. Joel’s words make you feel brave enough to allow your gaze to venture down. You press the flat of your palms over the swell of his stomach, something trembles within—life, you think, he’s so full of it. Your one hand dares to go lower, playing with the dark curls that lead to his soft cock. 

However, he doesn’t remain soft for long, it twitches and grows, the head gaining a reddish hue. 

Joel tilts his head, gradually leaning in to claim your lips with his own. He stops when your fingers bite into his bare hips, lodging into that delicate spot between bone and muscle, he swallows thickly, cock raising with attention. 

“Stay still,” you whisper. “And maybe I’ll reward you.” 

“Oh, we’re playing that game now?” he says with a crooked smile that makes your stomach twist delightfully. You only smile as your hand slides lower and lower, until you cup his semi-hard cock. His breath hitches. 

I love you like this, you want to say but remain silent. You stroke him slowly until he’s fully hard, the warm muscle throbbing in your palm, you press your lips against his neck, sucking on his skin until his hips jerk. 

“I’m not playing any games,” you mouth into his skin. “If you let me paint you, I’ll let you fuck my mouth. Does that sound like a fair deal?” 

Joel thrusts into your hand once more, groaning as you lick the vein that throbs under his skin, “I won’t lie, sweetheart, that might be hard if you keep your hand where it is.” He exhales a shaky breath, the warmth of it fanning your skin. “But sounds fair enough, I’ll try.” 

You press a quick kiss to the small patch within his beard and pull away before he can follow the heat of your lips. He’s as still as a statue when you get behind the canvas, but instead of resuming sketching the rough outline of his body, you grab two tubes of paint and a brush; though you have your doubts you’ll be using the tool, you’d much prefer to feel the heat of his skin softening the paint between your fingers. 

When you come back to him, confusion crosses his face. 

“I thought you were gonna be paintin’?” 

Your lips twitch into a sinister smile, “I am.” 

As cliche as it might sound, Joel has always reminded you of a deep, rich shade of red—the color of blood—but he also reminds you of an earthy purple, the type of shade that makes you want to bury your fingers in it as if you might actually feel the earth itself.  

You shake two tubes of paint in front of his eyes. He’s still confused, yet remains still. You pop the red paint open first, squeezing a generous amount over his shoulder. You watch it trickle down, drops of crimson staining his torso, the color so deep that it looks too real. Your heart jumping, you quickly smear it down his chest and all the way to his stomach. Just like you predicted, the brush is forgotten, slipping from your fingers and onto the carpeted floor. Joel shudders, his breath caught in his throat, you see him clench his jaw. 

“Darlin’. . .” he rasps, voice full of gravel, and your hand stops where it follows the V of his lower abdomen.

“Do you want me to stop?” 

“No,” he answers quickly, breathily. “Don’t ever stop touching me. Don’t ever stop looking at me like that—like I’m the most valuable thing you have. Like I’m worth a damn.” 

“You are.” 

Slowly, your fingertip traces an invisible path upward, leaving a trail of red paint in its wake. Joel shudders and gulps loudly. You draw meaningless shapes, circle where his tattoo is, and draw shapes of ancient alphabets you vaguely remember from when you read a book about the Late Bronze Age. Joel shudders, twitches, and tenses under your touch but never actually moves, keeping his stance. 

After the red pigment is nothing more but a fading shade of pink, you pour some purple paint into your palm and apply it directly. You press your hand directly above his heart, leaving your handprint over it before moving to his back, “Fuck,” he groans. 

Looking down, you notice him clenching his buttocks and slightly swaying forward, you smile, his cock must be dripping. You can’t wait to take him in your mouth, for him to use you however he pleases. You need him to be desperate when he takes you, sliding his length down your throat as he berates you for taunting him with sinful touches in the guise of making art. 

You press your hands together and smear the remnants of red with the purple, the fresh paint overwhelming the other. When both hands are fully coated, your cup both his ass cheeks, sliding your hands up, you kiss the taut skin between his shoulder blades. You leave a trail of open-mouthed kisses all the way to his neck and lick the sensitive spot behind his earlobe. 

“I’d wrap my hand around your cock but I’m afraid the paint isn’t edible so you wouldn’t be able to fuck my mouth,” you tease. “Tell me what you want to do to me, Joel?” 

He groans, “Keep this up and you’ll find out, sweetheart. I’m not a patient man, you should know.” 

“But isn’t the wait fun?” you challenge, your hands sliding up to his front, right above his pelvis. “The taste of sex on your tongue, the way your cock throbs with the thought of my warm cunt tight around it? Don’t you feel that tingle. . .” you gradually lower yourself, dragging your tongue down his spine, a choked out sound rips from his throat, “going down your spine, reminding you of how good it’s finally going to feel when you push down my throat, cutting my airflow and taking me however you want?” 

Joel breathes heavily, his stomach clenching with every whispered word, “Darlin’, please.” 

“Turn around.” 

You look up as he does, you gently take his hand and place it on your cheek, your heart dissolving into something thick and sweet like honey when his thumb strokes your skin. His gaze grows soft, the arousal in them dimming, splitting away like waves to show the emotion. 

“Your knees are gonna hurt,” he says, voice dropping. 

He’s right, they are going to hurt. “I don’t care.” 

You lower both hands to your lap, obediently parting your lips, sticking your tongue out. Joel wraps a hand around his cock and jerks himself until he’s fully hard, he holds you by the hair and drags you closer. 

“You want me to fuck that pretty mouth?” 

“Please,” you repeat his own plea from earlier. 

The heft of his cock on your tongue almost feels like a blessing from above. Your eyes flutter shut. Joel slides himself torturously slow, inch by inch, as he fills your mouth, your lips stretching wide to accommodate his width. He moves down your throat, awakening your gag reflex, you hold it down, choking around his cock. 

“Fuuuuuck, that feels good,” he groans, throwing his head back. With shallow thrusts, he works your throat open. Your one hand slides between your thighs as the other braces against Joel’s thick thigh. Right now, you’re relieved you’re wearing your favorite flannel pajama shorts instead of something uncomfortable like jeans. “That’s it, touch yourself, sweetheart. I want you to come while I’m fuckin’ your throat.” You whine filthily at his words, pressing your fingers between your clothed folds, you stroke your aching clit. Joel doesn’t stop running his mouth. “You must be soaked down there, poor thing.” 

Tears sting the corner of your eyes and you manage to slip your fingers down your shorts. His thrusts become rougher, sliding all the way out before fucking himself even deeper into your mouth, down your throat. You swallow helplessly around him and the groan that slips from between his lips forces the clench of your cunt, you breathe heavily through your nose and draw vicious circles around your clit. 

“Look at you—you like me fuckin’ your mouth, honey?” You nod, his lips curling in the most devastating way. “You gonna come while rubbing that pretty pussy of yours?” 

You nod again, this time accompanied by a moan. The reverberations of the sound trembles against his sensitive cock and he rocks into your mouth harder—this time tears do slip past your fluttering lashes. You can’t breathe, your vision is blurry, yet this is everything you’ve ever wanted. Your heart feels so full, so content. He fucks every thought out of your head, overwhelming your senses.  

“Shit, shit, shit—Don’t look like that, sweetheart, don’t cry, if you do I—I’ll—” Spit trickles down the corner of your lips, everything a wet, sopping mess. With every thrust, he manages to go down your throat, his mouth constantly muttering words you can barely hear. More tears flow freely down your cheeks, mixing with the saliva and precome going down your neck. His hips move in a constant stammering motion, balls heavy on your chin as he snaps shallowly into your throat without pulling back. 

You look up to him. Your eyes shining and glimmering, Joel meets your gaze, his eyes going wide, hips stilling—

He spills down your throat, hard. 

You swallow, swallow, and swallow, gulping everything that he gives. But it’s still not enough, there’s too much, some of it spilling from the sides from where his cock stretches your lips. Your body jerks, your fingers move slowly around your clit and you press harder, your feel the warm slick dripping down your fingers, making a mess of the rug underneath. 

“Sorry, sorry—” Joel mutters over and over again almost like a chant. His voice hoarse as his chest raises with quick shallow breaths. He then lets out a deep exhale, his cock throbbing in your mouth as he pulls out. “I wanted to last longer.” 

You kiss the tip of his spent cock, “Come here,” you mumble and he quickly drops down, you take his hand, pulling it between your legs. His eyes snap to yours, pupils eating away the color as he presses two fingers into your soaked cunt. Your eyes roll and your hips immediately grind down. “I came too. I came from you fucking my mouth, Joel. That’s how good it felt. You don’t need to apologize.” 

“Fuck, you’re really makin’ it hard to stay soft darlin’.” You smile as you cup his flaccid cock, feeling the weight of it in your palm, he hisses. “You’re gonna pay for teasin’ me, neighbor. ‘Should take you on my fuckin’ knee as punishment.” 

A fresh gush of wetness spreads around his fingers, “I think I would like that,” you say, kissing his neck. “But now I think I should actually finish sketching you for my painting.” 

“I don’t think I have much strength left in my legs,” he says with a chuckle. 

“Who said anything about standing?” you stand up, taking him with you. “I’m going to paint something else and for that, I want you on the bed.” 

You hadn't realized how much paint you managed to cover yourself in when you were pouring purple and red down Joel's shoulders.

He actually managed quite well when you asked him to lay on the bed instead of standing, and you’re fairly certain he dozed off for a moment or two. You didn’t mind. You loved how the painting had ended up, a sensual silhouette of a working man sleeping with sun cascading down his skin. 

“Surprise surprise, pourin’ paint on me got you dirty too,” Joel coos playfully, following you into the dimly lit bathroom. He stuffs your bedsheets into the washing machine, your eyes catch the smear of red and purple paint. “Want us to take a shower beautiful? We still have time until Sarah comes back from school.” 

“Someone’s cheerful now that they’ve taken their nap.” Joel holds you by the waist and pulls you close, unlike him, you’re still fully clothed—dirty, but clothed. His cock presses against the swell of your stomach. 

“I’m mighty tired of bein’ the only one bearin’ my naked ass,” he tugs off your shirt, the motion so quick that your protest dissolves on your tongue before it can materialize. “Also you owe me a nice back scrub with all those fancy soaps you have.” 

“I thought I paid my depth when you came down my throat.” 

“I don’t recall sayin’ exactly how much you owed me for this.” 

Your lips split into a grin. Without moving away, you bend over and slip out of your shorts, throwing them towards the washing machine. The flickering lustful specks in his eyes make your heart jump, they look like gold. Despite coming down your throat about forty minutes ago, he still wants you. He’s not tired of spending time with you, talking to you, humoring you in your endeavors— he’s not even mildly annoyed, which is something you thought everyone would feel eventually if they spent enough time with you. It was only a matter of when. 

You suddenly slap your palms softly against his cheeks, cradling his scruffy cheeks. His eyes rip away from your naked body to meet your gaze. You take in a slow breath. And out. Your heart rams painfully within your chest. Joel’s eyes widen slightly as he takes in your expression, observing you slowly as if he’s tasting what you’re feeling like aged wine. His fingers slither around your wrist and sliver down your forearms. 

“Darlin’?” 

“I love you, Joel.” 

His lips part, not with surprise, but with relief. You’re smiling giddily now, not a feeling of worry in your bones, just happiness, eagerness. You don’t care if it’s too early. Too late. It’s what you feel. And all you feel is love love love. 

“I love you too, Tea.” 

Joel brings your palm to his lips and kisses the curve of it slowly, he moves up to the middle, his mustache tickling you when he lays another kiss, “I love you so fuckin’ much.” 

You close the distance, slanting your lips together, you drink him. His lips move to the beat of the moment, tickling down tenderly and smoothly like molasses. Joel’s tongue traces the seam of your lips and you open up for him. He tastes you quickly before pulling back. He exhales deeply, his breath fanning your swollen lips. 

“Let’s get cleaned up.” 

You grin, raising an eyebrow, “So you can get me dirty again?” 

“Somethin’ like that,” he huffs. 

Joel leads you to the tub, acting as if you’re his guest and not the other way around. He turns on the shower, allows the water to run down his fingers until the temperature is just right, and then carefully helps you step in. You moan happily at the way warm water moves down your skin, softening your body and chipping away at the paint. Joel stands right behind you. You want to turn around, clean him of the colorful mess, but he doesn’t budge. His hands touch your shoulders, then skims down. 

“You first,” he murmurs, fingers washing away the paint. You lean back. His hands follow a trail to your front, kneading your breasts. 

“I don’t have any paint there,” you hum. 

“My bad, these eyes aren’t what they used to be.” 

He gives them another squeeze before going lower and lower. . .  until he’s pushing his hand between your pressed tighs. You laugh, “I definitely don’t have any paint there.” 

His teeth suddenly sink into your shoulder. The blossoming pain makes you gasp and your body reacts by bending over, rolling your hips towards him. With a soft growl, Joel grips your hips and pushes you up against the glass panel. You moan with your breasts pressing firmly against the glass, the constant shower of water making you slip. 

Joel’s lips touch your ear, “Gonna fuck you with my fingers,” he rasps. “Want you to come all around them, sweetheart.” 

Your body flushes from the inside out, “What if I can’t?” 

“You don’t have a choice,” he pushes forward, notching his cock between your folds, you whimper. “If you want me to fuck you with this cock, you better show me how desperate you are for it by makin’ a mess, honey.” 

When you don’t answer he grips your neck and forces your head back, he kisses your forehead, “Are you gonna be good for me?” 

Your stomach bottoms out, “Y—Yes, I’ll be good.” 

He kisses your forehead once more before releasing you. You fall forward with a whimper, bracing your hands against the slippery panels. Joel slides two fingers inside of you with embarrassing ease, “You like it when I’m rough,” he states, thrusting the digits in and out. You nod. “I love you,” he then says, catching you but surprise. You clench around his fingers and he chuckles darkly. “God, you’re gonna make me go insane—I love you—” 

You clench again, a loud moan dropping from your lips. The sounds you make are drowned by the water, yet he can hear you crystal clear. Your body reacts viscerally to his words, a flame that won’t ever go out burning wild in your gut—between your legs. He whispered the words into your skin, into your mouth, against your tongue. You push against his fingers, urging him to go deeper. He does. He holds you by the neck while fucking you with thick fingers, you cry out his name, whimpering those three little words that make him go inside just as much as it does to you. 

“Come for me,” he grunts. “Come for me so I can fuck you for real.” 

“J–Joel, fuck—” 

Your back arches, your orgasm rips from you, he takes it. It’s violent, earth shattering. 

Your jaw drops as he squeezes your throat lightly, the pressure adding to the intensity. You can vaguely hear him muttering ‘That’s it’ over and over, but you can barely hear the rasp of his voice. 

Joel kisses your cheek, drags his lips down your neck, “How’re you feelin’?” 

“Good. . . great actually.” 

Pulling out his fingers, he pushes them between your lips, you lap at them hungrily. While you’re busy devouring your own taste, Joel buries himself deep in your cunt. You whimper around his fingers, brows furrowing with pleasure. He pulls the digits out and grips your chin. His chest heaves as he pulls almost all the way out before snapping forward again, burying himself into the tight warmth of your pussy. 

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he mumbles, rocking back and forth. With every thrust, your lungs convulse. You desperately grip his forearm, but your fingers slip thanks to the water droplets that surround his skin, him letting out a sudden chuckle before pulling you towards his mouth. “Sorry, sweetheart, I don’t think I’m gonna last long now either. You make me feel like a teenager again.” 

Throwing your arm back, you tug the damp locks and force your lips together. You lick hungrily into his mouth. Joel moans loudly and you swallow every little sound he makes, your cunt fluttering and clamping around his length. He pounds into you sloppily, no coordination, no calculation—just need. 

To be wanted. To be devoured. What a wonderful feeling it was.  

Joel pulls out with a grunt, you hear the slick sounds of his fist as he jerks himself over the curve of your spine. You shudder when you feel it. Warm spend trickling down your skin, mixing with the water. He spreads your ass cheeks and pushes them together with his cock between them, he grinds once—twice, before heaving and dropping his head between your shoulder blades. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, but you hear no regret behind the apology. It makes you glad. 

“Don’t be,” you turn and pick up the shower head, holding it right over his shoulders, you wipe the remaining paint away. Your stomach growls in protest, your lips twitch into a crooked smile. “God, all that worked an appetite. I’m starving.” 

“Want me to cook you somethin’?” 

Spraying the water over his other shoulder, you meet his gaze. He’s so sweet like this. His hair wet, curling at the ends. His body finally relaxed. You can’t help yourself and quickly press your lips into the corner of his jaw. 

“I have a watermelon in the fridge, you can cut that up for me.” 

“‘Course, darlin’. Anythin’ for you.” 

Crickets chirp loudly. The wind pleasant, yet a bit too warm for your liking. You fan yourself with a hand as you lean back into the chair. Despite just taking a shower, you’re nearly dry. Summer is definitely not a good season for you. 

“Should I be offended you look so miserable right now?” Joel asks, sitting next to you. He bites into one of the watermelon slices and when a drop of sweet nectar escapes, he makes quick work of licking himself clean. You swallow, your insides pulsing. 

“No,” you sigh. “I just don’t like the heat very much.” 

“Well. . that might be a problem considering summer is basically here.” 

You groan and throw your head back, “Don’t remind me.” 

“Here,” he says, extending you a slice. “Eat.” 

You take the slice without objection, biting into the fleshy fruit. The cold juice of the watermelon feels good as it goes down your throat. You look over to the lawn, thanks to the heat most things have dried out. 

“I helped him a lot you know,” Joel says, his voice soft, as if afraid to spook you. “With the garden that is. He talked a lot about you.” 

“Did he now?” you muse, you chew the watermelon thoughtfully. Your eyes are glued to one of the butterflies in search of a flower. “I miss him.” 

“I know you do, sweetheart. I know. I wish I could ease your paint, but truthfully I have no idea how to do that.” 

“You do enough,” smiling, you turn to him and find that he’s already looking at you. “The silver lining is that I met you.” 

He parts his lips, eyes glossed over with emotion but before he can, both of you hear small steps approaching at the same time. 

“Oh, watermelon,” Sarah chirps, throwing her backpack to the floor. “Don’t mind if I do.” 

She takes a slice and sits down, eyes flitting between you and Joel. You try not to look at Joel then, your heart beating a bit too loudly for your liking. Sarah raises an eyebrow and locks her eyes with Joel, their expressions are similar when they’re about to wreak havoc. 

“What?” Joel snaps, angrily sinking his teeth into his watermelon, finishing it off. Both you and Sarah laugh, your heart feeling a bit lighter now. 

“Oh, nothin’,” Sarah rolls her tongue, mimicking her dad. “What have you two been up to?” 

“Your dad was helping me with the kitchen sink,” you answer quickly. “It’s been leaking all morning.” 

“If my dad is good at anything, it’s fixing stuff.” 

“I’m good at a lot of things,” Joel grumbles. 

“How was school?” you ask. 

Sarah’s shoulders fall a bit, but she quickly shakes it off and smiles, “It was good, nothing interesting happened.” 

You raise an eyebrow but don’t pry. Joel doesn’t seem to notice Sarah’s mood change. “We should better head off,” he says.

“But I’m still eating,” Sarah whines. “Can’t we stay a bit longer?” 

“We don’t wanna overstay our welcome.” 

You almost laugh at such an absurd thing. Him, overstaying his welcome? Never. But you also understand why he does it. Sarah is smart and by the looks she was giving you and him, she’s probably already suspicious. 

“You guys should take half of it,” you say, standing up. “I’m only one person anyway. If I eat this much watermelon I’ll end up growing one inside of me.” 

Both of them look at you deadpanned, you laugh, “You both have no humor!” 

Sarah turns to Joel, “Dad, I think you might wanna check if her water is laced with something.” 

“I think you’re right, baby girl,” Joel nods seriously. “There’s no other reason she would find that funny.” 

“If you guys keep that up I’m not giving you squat.” 

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry, ma’am,” they say at the same time. 

You shake your head, snorting at the father and daughter duo. Both of them were ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. 

However, you can’t seem to stop smiling as you head inside to get them a container to put the slices into. 

[sissy-tyler]

Hello, mommies, and welcome back to another episode of our “Sissy Re-education and Training” series, brought to you by the Sissy-corp! I’m your resident mommy, Yvonne, and the lovely girl next to me is Little Sissy Tiffany. Say “hello” little Tiffy.

“Hewwo evwybody!”

Little Tiffy is in our care at the Sissy-corp facilities because she just couldn’t make it as a man, or as a loving husband. Infidelity; being rude to his wife; always leaving messes for her to clean up; expecting her to cook every meal for him; the list goes on. He was much less of a man, and much more-so an overgrown baby. So he, or should I say, SHE’S been enrolled in our sissy-maid program.

In this program Tiffy’s been learning how to cook, clean, serve, and effectively pleasure her former wife, now mommy, and any lovers her mommy chooses to have. More importantly, though, Little Tiffy has been learning the ins-and-outs of how to be the bestest, widdle, baby gurwl a mommy could ever ask for! Isn’t that wight, widdle Tiffy?

“I wuv being a good gurwl fow my mommy!”

God, she’s just too adorable. Our training session today is about how to effectively reward your sissy while reinforcing her baby-ish behavior. Tiffany, here, was without a doubt one of our hardest cases to break, thus far, especially when it came to making her use her diapers. But, thanks to our patented “Rewards and Reinforcement” program. Even a stickler, sissy like Tiffany can be turned into the most dutiful, diaper dumper.

When rewarding your sissy, you first want to start off with a reward routine. For Tiffany, we had her on a schedule of getting a reward every 5 messy diapers she made. We kept her on this routine for three weeks, then the fourth week we changed her routine to a reward every 10 messy diapers. Week number 5; we upped it to every 15, then on week 6, every 20. After week 6, her rewards were then shifted to mommy’s discretion, meaning her rewards were completely randomized. This kept Tiffany always wanting to fill her diapers in hopes of the next reward. Tiffy, how many messy diapers have you made since your last reward?

“One….One hundwed and twendy nine.”

Such a good girl, Tiffy, I’m amazed you can even count that high! Now, even though Tiffany’s reward system may seem a little extreme, we do recommend you keep your sissies on very similar regiments. Now, onto how you properly reward your sissy.

To properly reward your sissy, you’ll want to make sure she’s in her Official, “Sissy-corp clitty cage”, and has some form of a buttplug in, the larger, the better. Then, before you’ve put your sissy in her diaper, you’ll want to make sure you’ve attached the electrodes of your “Sissy-Corp Rewards Device” to both her cage and her booty-plug.

Before I start the machine I always love making my sissies get on their hands and knees. I feel it really enforces that submissive mentality, but you can put your sissy in whatever position you feel is best. Then, I start the machine in 3…2…1….aaaaand watch how quickly Tiffany melts!

“UNGH! MOMMY! UNGH! IT FEEWS SO GOOOOOOOOOD!”

Now, at this point, I love grabbing and pulling Tiffany’s hair. Her wife told me she always used to be too rough in the bedroom, so I love returning the favor. Always remember to make your sissy tell you why they’re getting rewarded! Tiffy, why are you getting buzzies today?

“Ungh! B-because I made poopies in my diapuurr wike a g-g-good widdle guuurrll!”

You always wanna make sure you’re reinforcing to your sissy WHY they are getting to make spurties in their diapies. Always remind them, as well, that they are getting to make rewardies INSIDE of their diaper, just like the little baby they are. Speaking of rewardies, Tiffany is due to blow any second here!

“UNGH! MOMMY I MAKING GOO GOO’S! It feews so so goooood!”

Wow, Tiffany, I think that was 45 seconds, a new record for you! I forgot to mention, little Tiffy, here, is also a premature ejaculator. Once again, I’d like to thank you so much for tuning into our Sissy-Corp training session, and I look forward to seeing you again when we show you how to dress your sissy for going out in public. Tiffy has an upcoming date with her mommy to go see….

“Da new Bawbie Movie!”

Find more, exclusive captions at my Patreon!

[undergroundbillions]

Raggedy Ann art style masterpost!

Sorry this is a long one, but I need to make examples! After over a hundred years, how Raggedy Ann is drawn in books and merchandise has changed a LOT, and I'm obsessed with identifying different eras of the art styles and how they're combined. These aren't all of them of course but here's a few major ones.

First off, the original Johnny Gruelle & Co. style. These are the books from her first appearance in 1918 to the late 40's, when she was now being drawn by Gruelle's family. Early on they look more like literal dolls, but as the years go on they look more lively and round.

We get different illustrators throughout the 40's to the 60's, but the little physical merchandise outside of the books continues to lean toward the Gruelle style.

In the 70's, Hallmark owns the licensing, and as expected they go ALL out on merch. This era is defined by childish proportions with large heads, big eyes, and a checkered-shirt Andy.

In 1977 we get the Raggedy Ann and Andy Musical Adventure movie! Here's the most commonly used promotional art:

But this barely gets a chance to exist on its own, because in next two years both Chuck Jones holiday specials are released. As a result, there's a whole lot of promotional stuff that combines these two styles in a very strange way. Often, Ann and Andy (and Arthur) are in the Chuck Jones style, with the title and Camel from the movie. Sometimes side characters from both pieces of media make it in!

In the late 80's, the CBS Adventures of Raggedy Ann and Andy show along with the corresponding Grow and Learn series of books are released, with a new art style:

It's similar to the 1977 movie again, but as if they re-designed it from that above promotional shot alone. They're very much stuck in the one shape, instead of squishing and stretching like rag dolls as they do in the movie.

In the 90's you have the Snowden Target collab, which is pretty easy to spot since it's the most blatantly red & green christmassy thing you've ever seen.

Aaaaand last (and maybe least) we have Simon & Schuster's Classic branding in the 2000's. These are recognizable by solid black eyes with no whites, having the exact same expression in every picture, and visible stitches.

I will release you from this Raggedy Ann prison now. Go forth and be free with your new unnecessary Raggedy Ann knowledge.

-𝕸𝖔𝖉 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖑 𝕯.

[atlitudes]

I'm Cataloging Every Occurrence of the Piano in Malevolent in a Spreadsheet for Leitmotif Analysis. No, I'm Not Kidding.

As the title of this post reads, I've spent the last few weeks listening to every episode of Malevolent and logging every time the piano is heard (both within the story and as background score), to analyze the data for leitmotif/music based theory-crafting. I originally was planning on getting through the entire series before posting anything, but I am very quickly realizing that this is going to take me a while, and I start a new semester in two weeks, so there is a high likelihood I will not finish before I get too busy to chug through as many episodes a day as I am now. I'm on episode 16/44 and I've already logged 137 instances of piano music. I'm not even halfway done. And this is all I've been doing for the past multiple days. For this reason, I've decided to post the link to the spreadsheet before finishing.

If you're familiar with Malevolent, and just how much music is in it, you might be asking, "OP, are you utterly fucking insane?" And well, dear reader, the answer to that is probably yes, but while you might call it madness, I call it love. So, before getting into the meat of things, I wanted to explain why I even decided to do this. Spoilers ahead for Malevolent (obvious, but yeah). If you don't give a single shit about why I did this and want to get straight to the sheet, scroll to the bottom for the link.

So. About 2 weeks ago I finished my first listen-through of Malevolent. One thing about the most recent episodes struck me as very very significant: John and Arthur's "collective force" being titled as the Dies Irae.

Now, a full-bodied explanation of why I find this so important and the possible implications will come at a later date, but long story short, the Dies Irae is a very significant piece of musical literature-- it is, perhaps, the most commonly quoted leitmotif of the past 800 years, and it symbolizes death. So, understandably, the Themes of this kinda sent me down a spiral.

But the Dies Irae being mentioned in such a way also got me thinking: music is a pretty integral part of Malevolent. So, is the Dies Irae quoted anywhere in its soundtrack? I suddenly got very very excited at this prospect, particularly if it might be in Faroe's Song, because well... god that would hurt lol. I scoured the available songs on the bandcamp aaaaand... no luck (as far as I can tell). Regardless, even if the Dies Irae wasn't a part of the soundtrack, I became curious about what kind of leitmotifs were in the podcast, and what they might mean. And so, the spreadsheet was born.

I explain this in the User Guide part of the sheet (please read it before going through the rest btw), but I only track the piano parts of the podcast. The reason for this is two-fold:

First, score wise, piano is very easy for me to pick apart, and I don't see a lot of significance in the suspenseful string music for horror moments (though I don't deny there might be something to it, I simply won't be able to find it.) To me, the piano is also significantly more important than the strings because it's a notable part of the story-- Arthur and his relation to the instrument is a key part of the plot, and multiple of the piano compositions are made by him. For this reason, I found tracking the piano in the podcast worthwhile.

Second, I also don't touch any of the non-original radio tracks in the podcast (i.e. You Call It Madness (I Call It Love)) because this video by The Final Fantasmagorie already does an excellent job of covering them (please check it out!!), and I felt it would be redundant, especially considering the astronomical amount of ground I already have to cover. If these tracks start being featured as leitmotifs in the piano music then... well, I might change my mind, but so far, no dice.

If I noticed a non-piano piece of music (such as the wraith humming in Ep3) that I haven't found any analysis of whatsoever, I also noted it just so there was some record. Other than that, just piano tracks.

Explanations and disclaimers out of the way, here is the link to the spreadsheet. I might open it up to comments and/or editors at some point, but for now, it's just available to viewers. Once again, please read the disclaimer and user guide before the rest of the sheets.

Thanks for reading, I know this was a very long post, and I appreciate it if you've beared with me! Enjoy!

[stvharrngton]

a lesson in romantics; lesson four

summary: a multi-part series where reader is the new art teacher at hawkins high and the history teacher, mr. harrington, takes a shine to the new girl. mutual pining ensues on their road to love 🥀

a/n: aaaaand we're back!! i'm so sorry it took me so long to update this but i'm hoping to go back to weekly updates now <3

characters: steve harrington x fem!reader, mentions of robin and nancy

word count: 1.3k

warnings: none, steve is dorky af

taglist: @inkluvs @dukesmebby @sweetbabygirlsworld @kennedy-brooke @gvf23 @nix-rose

series taglist: @pbs-theundeadmaggot @alana4610 @onceuponaoneshot

SERIES MASTERLIST

HAWKINS HIGH, NOVEMBER 1922

Steve burst through the door of the teachers lounge, coffee cup and brown paper bag in hand. He came up behind you like a whirlwind, hair swept away by the wind, a cute red sweater fitted to his body.

“I snagged an extra muffin from our favourite bakery,” he started, unable to help that smile that painted his features, “and it’s got your name written all over it.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at him, he drew out those last few words as if he was trying to make a joke, but he was oh so serious. Steve’s smile grew wider as you laughed, the kind of smile that reached his eyes. And you didn’t even want to think about how he called it our favourite bakery.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, the promise of a free sweet treat sparking your interest, “Your place or mine?”

You meant classroom. You definitely meant the classroom.

“Mine? At lunch?” he said, eyes all hopeful.

“Sure,” you nodded, “sounds good.”

Steve’s eyes lit up at the prospect of having lunch with you, alone, in his classroom. Sporting a toothy grin as he began to retreat back towards the door now.

“It’s a date,” he stated, eyes wide as soon as he realised what he said, in front of everyone and Robin no less, “not a date, I mean, shit— shoot!” Steve stuttered, nervously stumbling over his words, “I’ll see you at lunch.”

Robin immediately looked in your direction as Steve left, doing her best to hide a snigger that was threatening to spill out into a full blown laugh at her friend’s expense. 

~

Lunch time soon rolled around as you made your way over to Steve’s classroom, lunch bag and fresh hot coffee in hand. You peaked your head into the room before clearing your throat as you stepped in.

“Is that offer for a free muffin still on the table, Mr. H?” you asked, a coy smile on your face.

The sandwich that was in his hand found its way back to the desk, a chuckle rumbling in Steve’s chest as he waved you in, “For you it is,” he scrambled to clear a place on his desk next to him, pulling a chair up, “come on, sit.”

You took your place next to him, pulling your own sandwich out. You ate in silence for a moment, neither awkward or uncomfortable. Steve spoke next, pointing a finger out to your side of the table, “What’d you bring?”

“A BLT,” you said confidently, “what about you?”

Steve nodded, an impressed look on his face. One that turned to minor embarrassment when he was about to reveal his own choice, “A PB and J.” Steve muttered.

You chuckled softly, one that made Steve’s cheeks light up pink, “That’s cute,” you said softly, fluttering your lashes as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, trying to prevent any more laughs from spilling out.

“Oh, come on,” Steve defended, “it’s a solid choice! You can’t mock a man’s choice of sandwich in his own classroom.” 

“Sorry,” you said with a giggle. 

You didn’t realise as you went back to your own sandwich, but Steve looked at you now, really looked at you. With that sappy, love sick puppy dog look on his face, the kind of look he only sported when he was in too deep, way too deep.

Chin in the palm of his hand, eyes all soft as he realised that maybe Robin and Nancy were right. 

Shit. Robin and Nancy were right.

The sound of your voice broke him from his trance, your brows pinched together as he failed to answer whatever question you had for him. You looked at him puzzled, ready to ask him if he was alright when Steve piped up with a murmur that resembled a ‘hmm?’, a sheepish look on his face.

“I said,” you began, cheeks slowly heating up at you realise you may have just caught Steve staring at you, “what’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”

“Just one?” a jovial tone finding its way to Steve’s voice, “Okay, so it was Sophomore year and I took this girl to a pool party that one of the kids on my

block was having and I had picked up this brand new white pair of swim shorts—,”

You purse your lips to hide the laughter that was ready to spill out, already seeing where this story was going, “and so we were in the pool having fun right, and when I got out I didn’t realise the entire thing turned see-through.”

Unable to hold it in any longer, you burst out laughing but Steve was still talking between his own bouts of laughter, “And you could see everything! And I mean everything.”

Your laughter was intoxicating, like music to Steve’s ears, the cutest laugh he’d ever heard by far. He was far too caught up in the happy sound to notice that you’d been clutching onto his arm whilst doubled over in laughter. He soon caught on, eyes soft as he gingerly placed his hand over yours, both of your giggles soon fading out.

“Easy there, tiger,” Steve hushed, as he stroked his thumb over the back of your hand. You stared at each other for what felt like an age, a lump swallowed in your throat, Steve’s gaze hopeful and yearning. You didn’t know if you saw it, but you swore his eyes flitted down to your lips for a second, or maybe you were just being hopeful, “What about you? What’s your worst ever date?”

Steve’s voice was low and quiet, a tone that sent a shiver down your spine as you attempted to compose yourself to answer. 

“It was my first year of college and my first date with my ex. He took me to the movies and it was all going perfectly well, bought myself a cute new dress, the works, right?” You reasoned, “We went to get snacks and he got a large Coke and on our way to the theatre he slipped on something wet on the floor–”

“No,” Steve exclaimed, hand slapping over his mouth, “don’t tell me–”

“Yep,” you sighed with a chuckle, “thing went up in the air and landed right on me, all over my dress! It was like something out of a cartoon,” you felt your cheeks heat up from just thinking of the memory, “the date itself wasn’t even bad but it was so mortifying.”

You both glanced at the clock simultaneously, the noise of kids chattering and hollering outside of Steve’s classroom told you that lunch would soon be coming to an end. You sighed as you dusted the crumbs from Steve’s desk, packing away your trash ready to go back to your own afternoon classes.

“No way have we been in here an hour already,” he sighed, dusting off his slacks, “well, thanks for the company, don’t forget your muffin.” Steve spoke casually, as if he wasn’t still thinking about the way you clutched at his bicep, or how soft your hand felt beneath his, or how he really wanted to kiss you.

You nodded as you took the brown bag from him, thanking him again for the free sweet treat. You went to let yourself out of his classroom as he spoke again, spinning on your heel as your hand was still clutching the door knob.

“I’m having a grading party at my place this weekend,” he began, fingers scratching at the scruff decorating his jaw, “we don’t get much grading done but I’d love it if you came along.”

He’d love it. The simple word, the implication that Steve would be miserable at his own party lest you be there, oh, how it made you swoon. You answered with a resounding yes, telling him you wouldn’t miss it as you skittered out into the hall with a small wave and a very big smile on your face.

What Steve wanted to do was ask you on a real date, just you and him, a real, proper date where he would go all out to impress you. Maybe a nice dinner or a picnic in the park, not rushed sandwiches during your lunch hour in his classroom.

But this was a start, right?

[notsogoodphotographer]

Hi i want to talk about my all time favorite camera 📸

pls ignore all my grammar mistakes, i’m not professional reviewer 😂 i just wanna talk about this camera.

This is the Sony RX1Rii, this is the third and “most recent” version of this camera. i put “most recent” in quotes because this camera is almost 10 years old. don’t like the old age fool you because this camera can keep up with the newest cameras in its niche.

This little point and shoot sports a 42mp full frame sensor. YES, F U L L F R A M E!! This tiny camera is actually smaller than all the x100 series (minus the lens on it). The camera has an incredibly sharp Zeiss Sonnar 35mm f2 glued to. This camera has 399 af points, with eye AF. The camera is incredibly fast and accurate!! the camera is pretty much a tiny packaged Sony A7Rii!

One of my favorite features of this camera is the pop-up EVF! This is a feature that was added to only this version of the camera and it’s a feature that i wish sony continued to incorporate into some of their other smaller cameras like the A7c or a6k series!

The camera does shoot video up to 1080 120fps, but does not have picture profiles such has S-log or HLG. This was a camera made strictly for photos, which is probably for the best because the battery life on this camera is terrible, any kind of prolong video shooting would absolutely burn through these batteries in minutes.

That brings me to my next point, my cons. There’s not many but i figured i’d point them out anyways for those who are interested in this camera. these aren’t make it or break it cons, these are just issues that hinder it from being the greatest camera ever released (IMO)

1) battery life, i believe it’s rated for like 220 shots. Ive definitely gotten it to last twice than that. That tiny body processing all that data on some of the tiniest batteries makes sense why it’s so bad. Luckily batteries are cheap and like i said they’re tiny, so they’re pretty easy to carry around!

2) no picture profiles in video. i know i touched on it briefly up above and this camera is mainly a photo camera AAAAAND hybrid cameras were just beginning to grow in popularity around the time this camera came out but it would’ve been amazing to have s-log in this camera for little snippets here and there. i know at the time IG and other photo sharing apps were mainly photo sharing apps, and a camera that was built strictly for photo has no business having usable picture profiles in video.

3) no crop mode in RAW. this one is weird to me because i know the A7Rii has an APS-C mode where you can shoot RAW photos with an inbody crop and there’s times that i’d love to shoot something at 50mm (35mm + sony’s 1.5x aps-c crop). there is a digital zoom option but that’s for jpg only.

4) PRICE!!!! why the fuck is this camera still being sold for $3200??!! this is a 10 year old camera with outdated tech. i bought mine used for $1900 (which is about the price of the fuji x100V at the time of purchase) and i still think that’s a little too much.

that’s really about it aside from minor complaints of not having tele/ wide converters. i’m also sure all of those cons stem from the small battery. I’d love to see all of these corrected in a Mk3 one day, but as of a couple weeks ago sony just discontinued the Rx1rii’s production. I’m being a little hopeful but maybe that means we’re getting a successor, i doubt it but a boy can dream.

I don’t really do reviews or anything but this camera has had my heart for the past 9 months so i had to show it off/ talk about it. this to me in the perfect everyday camera. it never leaves my side and comes with me to any and every trip! Im always blown away by the photos i create with this little camera and i know whenever a mk3 comes out im going to hop on the chance to buy on immediately!

[mdhwrites]

I'd like your authorial thoughts on the following:

Given Luz' and Amity's interactions across season 1 of The Owl House could Luz be considered to have been Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl? If so, how do you see that trope evolving (or devolving) over the remainder of the series?

So I have a romance writing lesson I'm going to hijack this ask for but first to answer it: Probably? I feel like one could complain a lot of good romance stories use a character like this so I don't know how useful it is as a label. Not only that but a common complaint I have about Lumity is how Luz doesn't actually try to do jack shit to push back on Amity or actually question her on her shitty behavior. Like sure, we know she doesn't like Amity being mean but at best we get a single confrontation about that that Amity doesn't take seriously. It's never a problem actually addressed and Luz never tries to evoke any other life lessons out of Amity. It's why Amity feels like most of her changes just happen because "Girl pretty" because little actually pushes her to change except the mere existence of Luz.

HOWEVER

This stops HARD come S2. Even by Winging it Like Witches, we see Amity going out of her way to manage Luz's emotions and fuck ups. Where she has to be constantly accomodating because otherwise Sad Luz is a thought she just cannot fathom, even when in shit like Looking Glass Ruins, Luz seems to think an apology is enough, or how she won't change by Reaching Out about actually caring about Amity's well being (such as not noticing her girlfriend getting hurt) but also now with her breaking her word and continuing to lie to her, both things that will also come up in Thanks to Them where she's willing to lie to Amity for months before sending her to her death on the Isles without her.

This begs a bigger question: What of these two that attracted them to each other originally is still there?

We know pretty easily why Amity likes Luz. Explicitly she thinks Luz is kind, pretty, earnest, stuff like that. If we want to read into her character in S1, since it's pretty clear Amity is already crushing by Adventure in the Elements and probably started getting her feelings in Lost in Language, it's because Luz is honest with her, open and free in ways that Amity wishes she could be or wishes her family was with her. It's classic opposites attract. It also helps that early on in the show, her family seems to have transactional love while Luz seems to not require people to prove their worth to her. With Luz, she knows she's always got her heart in the right place, will make up for what she's done and Amity doesn't have to fear what Luz is thinking because if she were to ask Luz, Luz would tell her. Hell, that last part is literally what Eclipse Lake is about. Luz's openness and honesty.

Aaaaand then S2B starts with Luz keeping secrets and lying to Amity. She also steadily becomes less of a weirdo, over the entire show honestly, and more just this troublemaker who seems to mostly do things just for herself. Who can easily be manipulated through the fact that she's selfish, such as with Philip and with Eda's mother. She very easily starts ignoring other's problems because of her own, like in Reaching Out, even as she'll claim she's focusing on you but all of her actions are the exact opposite. This is how we get "I don't want to distract you," while she is willing to distract Emira while healing Amity or joins the tournament because she finds Amity being in underground witch fights that could potentially severely injure her, on a day when Luz is thinking about death and loss, as BORING. Also, instead of Amity not having to ever prove herself to Luz, to not have to worry if Luz is going to stop trusting and believing her, Luz CONSTANTLY isn't trusting or believing of Amity and so Amity keeps having to try harder and harder to make Luz happy. To manage her emotions when, you know... That is kind of the exact opposite of why Amity was probably attracted to Luz. Did she understand she'd have to save Luz from herself? Sure but not because Luz would literally lie to everyone and shirk responsibility. She expected it to be because she accepted jumping Dead Man's Gorge so one of her reading kids would stop being picked on.

So yeah, why does Amity still like Luz? I genuinely expected them to break up in Reaching Out because of this. Because Luz showed that when she's miserable, she is NOTHING like what Amity saw her as and trauma and pain is not an excuse to be a terrible person. I would have still liked them to get back together but like... Otherwise, the show ends up saying that it's okay to lie to your partner so long as you have an excuse. That is abhorrent.

(Smart, Cool, Classy)

But on the flip side of things, what about Luz? Well, we get less overt declarations from Luz than we get from Amity. By what is stated... Well, "Cotton Candy Haired Goddess" and "You're smart, classy and cool," are really all we get and that's from Knock Knock Knocking. Smart is good, cool is fine, classy is okay too but they're very vague and the one emphasized, especially over and over, is how pretty and popular Amity is. Even back in Adventure in the Elements, where the show seems to want to be when they both catch feelings proper but Luz is a dense brick, those are the traits she focuses on. How strong, cool, pretty and popular Amity is. Luz's focus seems to commonly be on very superficial elements of Amity and with her misconceptions of Amity as the series goes on, it's easy to assume these never change.

If we try to go into Luz's character though like I did with Amity though, it gets WORSE. Luz is supposedly someone who fears rejection and has been bullied in the past. However, she seems to have zero fears about Amity as a bully or her being cruel to her. Admittedly, we do get two in character reasons for this: One is from Lost in Language where she admits to wanting to befriend Amity as a fiction trope, which is GOD AWFUL... But somehow the next one is worse? In The First Day, she isn't talking about Amity but she talks about hoping to find a 'vulnerable upperclassman' like one talks about a romantic partner. As such, Amity's damage is not something to help her with but something that continues to check boxes for Luz.

BUT.

If we are kinder, she likes Amity because of opposites attract. Amity is more serious, in control and smart than Luz. She has confidence that Luz doesn't think she has (examples nonexistent of course with how little Luz gives a shit about anyone's opinion) and a grace to her the clumsy nerd does not. So if we go off of those, does Amity lose those?

Yes. In S3A she seems to not be able to control her two left feet. She shows herself to be a complete disaster much of the time. In Escaping Expulsion, she's called out for letting her grades slip and Amity just loses all of her edge and real personality. She'll still continue to do things, to have things grafted onto her but her priorities are always Luz and not any of the drive or the like that might have attracted Luz to her in the first place. This is how Reaching Out ends with Amity caring WAY MORE about Luz's actions and the like than anything her father does and with her really just wanting the right to tell her father fuck you than actually wanting to properly repair their relationship like she claims. The goal is Luz. Always.

"But Luz could see who Amity actually was and was attracted to that!"

I have heard this sort of argument too many times not to talk about it. Let's pretend that's actually the case. That Luz was attracted to a possibility, rather than the person in front of her. That "I can fix her," is a good and healthy mentality. Okay, what is the 'real' Amity then? Well, she's nice, kind of awkward but can then step up to be a badass when she has to be.

I also just described Willow and Luz is not attracted to Willow. She literally never shows attraction to anyone like that. We actually do get an idea for what her type is after all. Her first blush is with a tortured, brooding dickhead in the second episode. She blushes at the twins who are teasing and rowdy. She likes trouble. She does not get attracted to Viney or Willow though despite both having very similar personalities to what Amity will eventually have. So why does she choose Amity?

Because she's the most conventionally attractive. That appears to really be it. It's the only thing that A: Amity doesn't discard of herself and B: that Luz seems to care about that actually stays true to the character over time. And don't tell me that Amity got smart in other ways. She is not a tactician and her strategies are always the bluntest. To reference Escaping Expulsion again, she is the one who posits going for a full frontal assault. Hell, in Falls and Follies, she's making mistakes in her Spanish studies. We don't see much real intelligence from her after S1. S3 made sure she has no class and Knock Knock Knocking explicitly points out that Amity is not as cool as Luz thinks she is.

Why does this matter though? Well... Because chemistry matters in a romance? Because in fiction, we should be able to understand what in the world attracts these two people to each other? Going, "It's love, they don't have to explain it," is the exact same problem as "It's magic, I don't have to explain it." It's purely relying on suspension of disbelief and believing that just because something doesn't have to have an airtight explanation doesn't mean it doesn't have to still follow the rules or examples you have set. People HATE when magic suddenly does whatever the author needs it to just as much as they hate when someone goes "I love you" in a movie after two hours of not seeing a single reason these two would get together.

As such, if in your romance story you have the character development of your characters remove everything they found attractive about each other... Why are they still together? Not even just because that's a thing in the real world but just in the fiction. There's no reason for them not to just be friends now so why are they still saying "I love you," if they even want to be friends still? It makes the conclusion of your work not scan and so your romance falls apart.

And I mean... Clouds on the Horizon even explicitly makes this clear. In that episode, Amity uses Luz as a way to calm herself. Uses how she'd tackle things, her care and the trust she has in Luz to make her not worry about being trapped at home. But is that accurate to Luz? To Luz, who in that episode decided NOT to go save Amity because she wanted to small chance that she might be needed for the bigger plan in motion instead? Despite having no role there and potentially making their stealth mission harder? Or who goes on to not engage at all with Amity's family drama, even as Odalia threatens to force to break them up? Where is the care that Amity was drawing strength from? The silliness that attracted her to Luz? ANYTHING that was there all the way back when that pushed Amity to kiss Luz in that episode?

Because as far as I'm concerned, Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl didn't just become a real person. She turned to sludge and why would Amity want to date sludge? See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[dunmanticarchivistsmain]

Alright I’ve had a good night to sleep on Wild Life and I’m ready to cook up my headcanons on Life lore.

Despite the name that was a relatively tame first episode; everyone’s spread out in a usual fashion, claiming high ground, resources and allies.

The opening teams this time are such a treat; you’ve got Jimmy, Scar and Lizzie. Treebark. Obsession Duo. GrumboMan. BET. BigB off by himself (whyyy)

Aaaaand there’s the Gs (now upgraded to 4G with impulse being Grownman or Guy). What kind of destiny is so intractable, so unyielding, that after 4 seasons of death, betrayal and pain these 3 cannot deviate from their orbits around each other?

It's almost strange to see, especially after the healing that was Secret Life. Why the regression, why the diving back into what seems like an unhealthy relationship?

It's only after watching Scar, that I realised. Pearl semi-won Secret Life. She may not have carried one of her chosen Mounders to victory, but her personal arc of healing was completed by relinquishing the bloodlust and desire to win, her half hearted ally Scar earned his victory, she made new friends and had a mostly good time being in the thick of things. I'd like to think Scar came out of his victory the most sane of all the winners, so far he seems a little on edge, but he seems much sharper in his survival skills (aside from the falling please never change Scar <3) planning defenses and gathering allies etc. Interestingly he put Pearl on 100/100 relationship immediately, despite having never interacted (?) with her at all this first episode except sharing the first deaths.

Anyway back to Pearl, what's her headspace going into a new life series, having mostly achieved her goal of getting a friend across the finish line?

Primarily I see her as cautious, with her familiarity of the twists and turns of the seasons changing, she wants to know what ground she's treading first. Circumstance or destiny has brought old faces to her side, ghosts made manifest. So she tests. She tests if they remember, as she does. No better than known quantities, as a control for what may have changed. Clearly they do. They remember it all. The gaslighting, the gatekeeping. Just not the girlbossing. I think Pearl has made her peace with that. That part of her is a rotting corpse chained to her soul. That part of her died when he killed them.

And then there's Impulse. The one who seems on the cusp of remembering, of being drawn into the nexus of unbreakable fate. He has always been a contender, an aspirant to the pantheon. He positions himself as the useful one, at the very least a player in the games. So far he's contributed a lot of time to the team, digging obsidian, herding cows, figuring out the wildcard. But is he really stuck in? Between the moon and stars which side will he lean if perchance....one were to bolt?

Because this is not a stable configuration; for the first time in 5 seasons, Pearl has not outright said: I want my team my partner my universe assigned person and I to win. In fact when Cleo brought up loyalty, of all the people she who could best have a claim to it, Pearl outright shoots down the idea that day one alliances last despite having never being the one to break them up and having always wanted them to hold. I think victory means little to Pearl now, she has won, she has lost, her team has won, her team has lost. So what drives Pearl, in a world of chaos and uncertainty? I don't really know but if I had to guess?

Defiance.

She has never been a conformist, and she only cleaved to people's flawed expectations as a subversion. Pearl has been on a malicious compliance arc lately on hermitcraft and I am having some tasty hopes that will continue (copium intensifies). Grouping up with an old team? That sounds like great groundwork for expectation subversion if you think she's going to be like previous season, loyal and almost self-sacrificial. Why would she, to a group that treats her like trash?

Very much enjoyed the opening episodes this week, they are such fertile soil for headcanons and interpretations. Looking forward to the weekly twists and turns with all the cast and crew.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from a book "The galaxy will know, before long, one way or the other, that defiance yet exists in this crooked house of lies" ~The Path of Heaven, Chris Wraight

[psychedelic-ink]

Aaaaand we're back! Like I said I combined the two months, enjoy the fantastic fics everyone 💛

please show your support by commenting and/or reblogging!

categories include: pedro pascal characters (everyone), misc. (hobie brown, vilanelle, wanda maximoff, draco x hermione)

as always don't forget to check the warnings before reading!

click here for last months fic recommendations

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS

SERIES

surrender by @ezrasbirdie (joel miller)

Palomino by @fuckyeahdindjarin (jack daniels)

seams by @/fuckyeahdindjarin (joel miller)

Eyes Open by @radiowallet (marcus moreno)

señorita by @lavendertales (javier peña)

Short Days, Long Nights by @frannyzooey (joel miller)

Pretend Alleyways by @radiowallet (dieter bravo x marcus moreno)

like a moth to the flame by @the-scandalorian (din djarin)

honeyed by @softlyspector (joel miller)

taurus by @djarinsbeskar (din djarin)

bleed for me by @saradika

a lover's pinch by @hier--soir (joel miller)

whistle in the dark by @gasolinerainbowpuddles (joel miller)

ONESHOTS

I bet you say that to all the girls by @toomanystoriessolittletime (joel miller)

done for by @pedrito-friskito (frankie morales)

LJ's Bangathon 2023 by @prolix-yuy (all pedro boys)

I know by @whatsnewalycat (javier p)

promise by @criticallyacclaimedstranger (ezra)

be good by @hier--soir (joel miller)

breakfast @ezrasbirdie (joel miller)

untitled ezra sex pollen fic by @pedgito (ezra)

untitled by @swiftispunk (javi g)

roadside delight by @/inklore (joel miller)

undercover peña by @mvtthewmurdvck (javi p)

snap by @missredherring (marcus moreno)

i'm the one to beat by @/missredherring (joel miller)

revenge by @toomanystoriessolittletime (dave york)

MISC

put on a show by @inklore (hobie brown)

love lies by @/inklore (villanelle)

ashes of absolution by @/inklore (wanda maximoff)

When Tears Become Insufficient by @leydileyla (draco x hermione)

[thelonelyshore-if]

Hiiii, I hope you have a nice day today. I just read the second chapter and woahhh, it was a mountain of emotions. I love the way you write and how you describe the atmosphere in tense situations.

That moment between the trees I can still imagine it and it gives me the chills. Hahaha

And by the way, a bit of a spoiler ahead: the choices we have during our near death experience will be relevant later in some way? I got the impression that we'll somehow return to a similar situation, a lot.

So ok, hear me out, my theory is that maybe we might have some "magic" in us, maybe even our mere intuition is much sharper than normal, like Willow.

This town reminds me a lot of the "other side" in the Stranger Things series, although somehow this place was "cut" off the map.

It wouldn't be too weird to think that both sides are connected (the real world and this side).

Willow is over there, and knowing our brother, he must already know what happened to us and must be on cloud nine because all his theories and stories turned out to be true. Maybe even the reason he called us right to the cabin was to tell us about this town, the Lake, the Woods and the Mist, maybe he even had proof.

I have an idea that the lake lured us in with a vision of Willow drowning, so, when we enter the water we see Willow safely on the shore because that IS the real Willow.

This kinda way is how the lake and the forest probably catch more people.

In fact, all the missing people in town are people who have tried to leave and escape...our lead is that one surviving girl who has returned, we need to talk to her.

I think we might be able to make a connection with Willow back and forth, or he might make it first. Seeing as Willow hasn't left the scene yet, aaaaand he's the only one who knows what happened to us and how to help us.

Another thing, I'm going for the romance with Ravi, but I swear on my life, I really want to punch him so hard that he wipes that smile off his face. Hahaha 😂

God I just wanted to yell at him to go to hell or shut up. 😭🙄 Like yeah dude, I know you have your reasons and probably a very traumatic experience with this, but that's not an excuse to be an arrogant idiot with us.

Hopefully we can say some things to him when we get back and give him a good smack. 😌

Anyway, sorry for babbling so much, I had to get all this out of me. Hahaha great story, lots of cheers and creepy hugs. 💀

(sorry if I say something weird, english is not my first lenguaje).

Good morning!! I hope you're having a lovely day as well!

First off omg thank you so much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Evoking strong emotions is a huge goal of mine so it makes me really happy to hear you enjoyed my writing and the atmosphere. The trees were definitely a scene I was super excited about, it was very vivid in my mind as I wrote it haha.

And I'm loving where your mind is at!! You're right in that the experience MC has during the crash won't be the last time it happens. Something inside the MC is already starting to change...

I loved reading the rest of your thoughts, thank you so so much for sharing. This ask brought a big smile to my face. In regards to Ravi... yeah, he can be a real ass lmao. I'm excited to write the scene where the MC can ask wtf his deal is. They've got a lot to work out already ^.^'

Thank you again <3

[s12-kittie]

Imprisoned feelings: the fullest analysis of the Trix I ever wrote

For the sake of writing normal fanfiction, I've given the Trix a lot of thought and now I'm preseting you my thoughts about why they're... the Trix. I'll try to observe only the facts given in the series (I'm not taking the facts from the comics, bc firstly, I didn't read all the comics and secondly, some info in the comics is right the opposite from the info in the series and movies) and not my headcannons, but it's going to be really hard XD

Actually, I think that the Trix are kind of a phenomenon among other witches. Griffin once mentioned that witches don't work in groups and here we have... witches working in the group, which acually rarely splits up. But I don't think it's because they experience some sisterly (or any other kind of) love, bc they are way too selfish for that and when the situation gets dangerous, none of them would risk her life to save the other. (Okay, Darcy and/or Stormy might do that for Icy, but I'll explain that possibility later.)

Yet they think about each other. In season 5, Darcy and Stormy left Icy, putting their comfort in the first place, but before that they kept trying to make her change her mind (stuff about Icy and Tritannus is in my other article) and came back for their sister in the very end. In season 3, Valtor (as I believe) tried to break the Trix up, but in the end they were still working together as a group. So, the Trix are mentally attached to each other, though they care more about themselves (or about Psychofish (sorry)).

To me, that attachment means two things. Firstly, they've spent a lot of time together, bc I believe that such a firm bond simply can't be formed during the 2.5 years they've been studying at Cloud Tower. And sevondly, they didn't have a loving family/families, which could show them a good example of how people should communicate. That moves us to the next conclusion.

Although all three of the Trix are different, they have something in common. They all are sadistic and very naive. I think that it all comes from their childhood. As I said, no-one of their family members/caretakers actually loved them. Also, I think people who raised the Trix, prepared them for what they've accomplished, I mean stealing the Dragon Flame and ruling the world. In season 1, when Icy was explaining it all to Bloom, I had a clear impression that she was repeating the words the had been told. So, yeah, I think the Trix were constantly told about their future mission, smth like "you're the future and the only hope of this world/our ultra evil community/etc", apply puberty to that stuff and you'll get the "we are the baddest people here" POV, bc for real, these three didn't even take headmasters of the schools seriously, which, btw, were powerful and experienced sorcerers, who fought Valtor, Darkar and other ☆amazing☆ people. So, the piont is, the Trix were made naive and cruel. Aaaaand here we move to the "imprisoned feelings" thingy.

(Another fact that confirmed they were raised to carry out the mission of world domination: they are used to be the right-hand. They easily team up with Darkar, Valtor, Tritannus, Serina (okay, in the last case, Serina was the right-hand, but they still worked with her instead of taking her book for themselves, which, btw, I can't explain). So, it may be possible that since the very beginning of the story, they tried to fulfill the task they were given by their parents/caretakers)

So, the Trix were raised as the killing machines. I believe that it also ment they should've been heartless. But they're still human beings, who do have some feelings inside them. So, what do they do? Right, they suppress these feelings.

Remember how quick were Icy and Stormy to laugh at Darcy bc of her feelings for Riven (season 1)? Or the reaction of Icy and Darcy when Stormy mentioned them as her 'friends'(season 3)? I think it all happened because they were taught that positive feelings are ridiculous and make one weak. And that's why they never tried to show it.

Cloud Tower made things even worse. This is where we should thank Griffin (no), who always mentioned aloud about her how much she dislikes "those fairies who always care about the others." (Not a quote, but she could've said smth like that.) So, the Trix get a clear pic: on one side, there are fairies, disgustingly-glittery creatures who are always caring cheerful and therefore weak. On the other side, there are cruel, heartless and cool witches, who will win this rivalry in the end, bc they're not afraid to play dirty (why are they nit afraid?? BC WITCHES DON'T KNOW WHAT FEAR IS- oh sorry, I got a little too carried away XD)

There also might be one more aspect. Icy, who is obviously the leader type, seeing the relationship between them and their parents/caretakers, began to treat her sisters the same way, so Darcy and Stormy were really afraid of her, even though the three of them might've had equal powers. And because of this fear, they would do anything for her. That's why sometimes they risked their lives for Icy (the end of season 5 and the end of season 8).

I wanted to write about each of the Trix here as well, but this shit is already way too long, so another time :)

P. S.: sorry if there're any mistakes, I'm done checking this

[sparklepocalypse]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @cha-melodius, @kiwiana-writes, @anincompletelist, @orchidscript, @myheartalivewrites,

… aaaaand @firenati0n for the tags! (This five tags per line thing really is for the fucking birds, y’all.)

How many works do you have on AO3?

106 works and counting.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

461,281 😱

What fandom(s) do you write for?

Currently? Red, White & Royal Blue, and RWRB RPF.

Historically? Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series, Queer as Folk, Supernatural, That One Fandom With The Wizards and the Bigoted Creator, Smallville, Glee, and a handful of other RPF fandoms.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Even though, IMO, kudos are a poor metric of the quality of a fic…

What’s Symbiotic will Always Be | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 2.6k words — my Kinktober 2023 breeding kink fic.

Be Worthy Love, and Love Will Come | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 30.8k words — my epic childhood friends to lovers AU.

Wrap Me Up, Unfold Me | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 4.3k words — my mile high club smut inspired by one of Hann’s incredible art pieces.

Take it Down Low / Make Me Get High | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 2k words — my Kinktober 2023 rimming fic, which has been described as that rimming fic.

I’d Wanna Be Held By You, Felled By You | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 2.3k words — my lake house smut inspired by Henry sharing Alex’s clothes.

More under the jump to save you a scroll!

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I’m horrendously behind, but I promise I’ll catch up one of these days… I hope.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We’re just gonna focus on my RWRB works here so I don’t have to dig too far. I don’t really do truly angsty endings in this fandom, but I did write one piece with an open-ended ending:

Back, Bring it Back | RWRB | Alex/Henry | T | 1.2k words

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It’s a toss-up between two of them, so have them both!

Single Sad-Sack Seeking Same | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 7.7k words, and

Count to Ten & Breathe Real Deep | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 8.1k words

Do you get hate on fics?

I have had an anon throw a tomato emoji at one of my fics, which still stuns me. I used to get significantly more hate when I was writing in more problematic fandoms… 😅 but if you want to read the fic where Alex bottoms for the first time, and I got this comment, where they not only flung produce but also… felt the need to censor the word “top” for… reasons:

… then you should read In the Low Lamp Light, I was Free | RWRB | Alex/Henry | E | 3.1k words, which is my take on what happened with that second condom wrapper in the Paris scene.

Do you write smut?

Oh, fic meme creator, this is the cutest, funniest question.

Do I write smut? Hilarious.

What’s your craziest crossover?

Speaking of smut — I don’t really write crossovers, but I’ve written a few monsterfucking or monsterfucking-adjacent fics:

If We’re Caught in a Wave, I Will Carry You Over | RWRB | Alex/Cecaelia!Henry | E | 5.9k words

Just Let the Night Go Down | RWRB | Alex/Henry/Oviposition Toy | E | 2.2k words, aaaaand

All the Ocean was Sleeping | RWRB | Alex/Siren!Henry | E | 6.4k words

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. Fic (and fandom) are pretty reductive though. For example, I know that there’s someone writing a King Henry AU for @aroyallybigbangrwrb, and I’ve been working on my own King Henry AU since last September. There will probably be some similarities; can’t be helped. I’m not worried about it though, unless there are wholesale chunks of paragraphs that are somehow magically identical.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so, but I have a blanket permission statement on my AO3 account, so if someone wanted to translate my work I’d be down!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Eons ago, I used to co-write Kurtofsky fic in the Glee fandom. Pretty sure all of those works have been lost to the ether, as this was before AO3 was absorbing archives as they went kaput. I’m not completely heartbroken about it.

All time favorite ship?

Darcy/Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice. No, I’m not kidding.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a couple really old WIPs from previous fandoms that I put a lot of work into, and then the ADHD took hold before I could complete them. It would be interesting, at the very least, to revisit these. Maybe retool them into something usable for this fandom, IDK.

What are your writing strengths?

Making people absolutely collapse in a heap of devastation with my angst, as @hgejfmw-hgejhsf, @kiwiana-writes, and @ad-astra13 will attest; smut with “multiple different positions laid out in such detail you can almost see the gifs used as reference,” according to @bigassbowlingballhead. I also like to think that my spicy trauma makes me pretty funny.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Brevity — given the option, I’d rather write 5k words than a drabble every time. I also really struggle with saccharine sweetness and fluff for the sake of fluff, despite what y’all keep saying in my comments section; my sweetness is always bittersweet. And kidfic gives me the ick, as the youths would say, even if I’m the one writing it.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Yes! Just make it something that I can Google Translate and I’m good.

Which fandom was the first you wrote in?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, way back in the 1990s. (Yeah. I’m that old.)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

So, I have two. My favorite fic overall is my King Henry AU, Facing Tempests. I affectionately refer to this fic as KHIX (King Henry IX) and The Big Giant AU, and it’s my baby. I’ve commissioned some really incredible art from @seanchaidh7 for Facing Tempests that I can’t wait to share with y’all when the fic is ready to post.

My favorite published fic is If We’re Caught in a Wave, I Will Carry You Over, for which I commissioned some absolutely stunning art from @artofobsession which is now embedded in the story on AO3. There are several other fics that come close, but octoHenry is my beloved.

My tag is always open! Because this meme has been out for a couple days, I’m not gonna cold call anyone, but if you’re reading this, yes you with the clenched shoulders and the mild headache from staring at a screen, then consider yourself tagged!

[the-sky-queen]

Avatar the Last Airbender theories I had that turned out to be false

So unlike literally everyone else, I didn't grow up with ATLA and discovered it sometime when I was in high school. Can't remember exactly when. Because of this, I created a few theories as I was watching for the first time, trying to predict where the show would go. All of these ended up being completely wrong, but they're fun, so I thought I'd share them!

Zhao becomes the Firelord

Sooooo funny story with this one. I actually had two exposures to ATLA before I actually watched it and one of them was THE SERIES FINALE. I didn't see the whole thing, but I did catch a huge chunk of the ending. So before I even started watching officially, I knew Zuko was gonna be a good guy, which is why I never gave up on him. XD This also means that I got to see Ozai's FACE.

Ozai doesn't show his face in book 1, and by the time I started watching, I'd forgotten what Ozai's voice sounded like. I also had very little idea of who I'd seen Aang fighting in the finale was in the first place. So I kinda took one look at Zhao and said "YES. HIM." The theory went like this:

Zhao slowly climbs the ranks of the Fire Nation over the course of the series, growing more and more power hungry as time goes on. Eventually, he gets to the point where he overthrows/assassinates Ozai and becomes the new Firelord. Aang has to fight him in the finale and Zuko has to take the throne that's rightfully his back.

Imagine my disappointment when Zhao got eaten in the book 1 finale. XD I was so convinced of this theory that I didn't even believe he was really gone for a looong time after this.

2. Zuko is a Double-Bender

Remember the Blue Spirit episode? Of course you do. Well, there's this split second clip as Zuko's rescuing Aang where he picks up a bucket of water and splashes it on a guard or something. I completely missed the bucket on my first watch of this episode and concluded that whoever this Blue Spirit guy was, he was a Water Bender. I then proceeded to get my mind absolutely BLOWN when I realized the Blue Spirit was actually Zuko. I started going crazy with theories that Zuko was secretly a Fire Bender AND a Water Bender. Hence, a Double-Bender. I asked a friend about this theory of mind and she sadly debunked it for me. However, this is still my favorite ATLA theory to this day and I have an entire AU centered around it. One day I'll get around to actually writing it.

3. Jet is a major recurring character

So the other time that I got ATLA spoilers before watching it was when I accidentally half-watched most of Jet's introductory episode. The friend I was with at the time groaned in annoyance at Jet, leading me to believe that he showed up A LOT and he was the worst thing this show had to offer. I fully expected Jet to pop up ALL THE TIME and make a nuisance of himself. I was relieved to discover he doesn't come in nearly as much as I thought he would.

4. Ba Sing Se stuff

Rapid fire round! I thought a lot of things about everything that happened in Ba Sing Se:

Team Avatar all get brainwashed by the Dai Lee except for like Sokka or someone, who then becomes wanted by the entire brainwashed city and has to figure out how to reverse all this.

Zuko happily lives out the rest of his days with Uncle Iroh at the tea shop and never runs into Team Avatar again.

5. Azula alone

Team Avatar frees the entire city of the brainwashing. Specifically Joo Dee.

Yeah, I thought all of Ba Sing Se was brainwashed, not just some people.

I was 100% convinced that Mai and Ty Lee were going to betray Azula at some point during book 2 and then join Team Avatar. I guess this kinda happened? Kinda?

Aaaaand this is all I can think of for now. I'll make another post if I think of more theories I had, but this is about it. :)

[clawsofakiller]

I was rereading Sabretooth (2022) and every time I watch this my heart aches. The context here is Sabretooth was dying, and his body led his mind into a sanctuary where he can hide when his body does the job of healing, however the shelter itself is a scene of desolation with no one in here bc there's nobody Sabretooth can trust. Yet there was one thing. One single creature that was once alive and vivid, now just a cold dead body. The little songbird and the blood stained big gun represents Victor's long lost assistant Birdy, in the 90s he sought for telepathical help to control his killing urge so he kidnapped her to be his therapist and due to his morbid nature a toxic relationship was formed between the two. He needed her so bad emotionally and mentally, you can even tell he was very fond of her, but his mind is too twisted he had no idea how to show his affection appropriately I guess he doesn't even know he had any feelings for her. Eventually Birdy was killed by his own son because he wanted his father to suffer, Victor seemed indifferent to her death before him but this event became one of his major trauma. When he lost his memory and personality, he smiled at her holographic projection, later he was frightened by the fact that he caused her death; On the last panel he looks so painful when he sees just the metaphor of her death.

My point is, the writing here is a subtle and humane expression of strong feelings. The deserted sanctuary, the dead bird and Victor's pain, the scenario isn't hardcore or gorey at all but it gives out more information. Those ingredients combined and tell us what is like inside Sabretooth's heart, it proves he's not just a bloodlusted mass murderer/irredeemable Wolverine simp with only one single brain cell, he is also a person that aches and bleeds aaaaand has his own story and life experience. But I don't see similar expression in Sabretooth War. In THAT comics he is like "Murder! Wolverine, bemoan! BTW I'm the boss!" Even Bhaal's spawn does less murder than him a day, and it wasn't even for murder itself, it was for pissing Logan off. It shouldn't be doubted if one of Wolverine's friend fears to become gay more than become dead and torn he would have Pretty Boy to suck his friend's ding-a-ling. Sorry Pretty Boy. Anyway it's hard to believe Victor LaValle actually takes part in writing of Sabretooth War, what I could recall he's a brilliant writer that focuses on character exploration and eliciting controversial political thinking, I really like his Sabretooth and Sabretooth & The Exiles. They're gorey and explicit, yes, but all of the blood and guts stand for something meaningful. None of the series sells this simple Wolverine torture porn stuff. What happened to him?

[flight-of-the-sacred-eagle]

Alright.

So spoilers for a Starless Clan but I’ve heard people talk about how Frostpaw being leader would make no sense because of xyz aaaaand… I wanna refute them.

To start off, I want her to be leader. Desperately. Not only because I think she’d make a great leader, but we haven’t had any young leaders in… a while. I’m talking Firestar young. Both Tigerheartstar and Harestar are young-ish, but they became leader at about 5 years old. So, middle aged.

Both are already fairly old at 8 years- which is pretty old for a warrior. That should be retirement age.

Not only would she be a breath of fresh air with all the oldies, the idea of her starting as a medicine cat and becoming leader is actually really cool to me. Especially since she’s been trained by Riverstar to be leader.

Plus, I’d really like a leader who has the connection to StarClan that Firestar did. It’s funny that, especially after the last arc, the connection between leader and StarClan that was established in the first arc (with Bluestar going to get advice multiple times in the books) seems to have gone away.

Actually that brings up the first argument people seem to make against Frostpaw being leader. She’s too close to StarClan.

Firestar’s connection to StarClan is something that is more prevalent than all (barring Frostpaw) but one of the medicine cat povs in the series, and the only one who has such a connection is Jayfeather.

Firestar was visited by StarClan once a book if not more. He was given prophecies, visions, guidance… he basically could’ve been a medicine cat. Frostpaw being as close to StarClan truly isn’t an issue.

It doesn’t matter if Frostpaw talks to StarClan with the ease of a medicine cat. Firestar did! And no one questioned his ability to become leader despite that.

The second major argument I’ve seen brought up is that there’s no foreshadowing.

I’ve actually heard this about how there’s no foreshadowing about anyone in the clan becoming leader. And truthfully, I don’t think that’s true.

Now, yes. I’ll agree that there hasn’t been much. Which is why Mothwing is considered the biggest contender for leader. She’s kinda the best option.

But there has been foreshadowing that Frostpaw will become leader. It’s an omen that we thought we as a fandom deciphered but I truly doubt we have.

And that? That is the star-shaped dock leaf in Frostpaw’s nest.

There has been speculation that it meant Frostpaw and Mothwing will lead the clan until there was a new leader. A very simple explanation.

But then why was it important enough to be on her mini figure? Spottedleaf’s mini-figure had the “fire alone” prophecy in her eyes, which is extremely important to the narrative while the dock leaf was… simply forgotten.

Unless of course the dock leaf means more then she will chose the next leader. I firmly believe that this is foreshadowing for Froststar.

Ugh I truly can’t wait for Star to come out. ASC has been one of my favorite arcs.

[genopaint]

AAAAAND here we go, all caught up! This is week 22 and the end of May / the start of June! Happy Pride, everyone!! Let's make it a good month!

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #147 - Small Rex

Tiny dinosaurs that run in packs across fields, looking for small rats and bugs to eat. They're head is remarkably hard, allowing them to slam it into soft dirt to try and dig out food

Daily Dragon #148 - Kingodon

A royal, high flying dragon. It considers itself to be the king of dragons, often trying to command around smaller dragon species... The only problem is that, Kingodon is a species, so different Kingodons fight a LOT trying to be the leader

This is a redesign of an old king dragon! I was making characters based on the names of local Chinese Food places I like! This fella was based on a placed named 'King Dragon' that I used to live near and really liked! They would always give me free water bottles when I went lol

Daily Dragon #149 / #150 - Dragonlord

I've been sitting on this one for a bit actually. I knew I wanted to do the Dragonlord but just didn't have the oomph. But since I needed 2 dragons today AND it was Dragon Quest day earlier... It all fell into place!

Daily Dragon #151 - Red Dragon

FINALLY!! The first Final Fantasy Dragon of the challenge! There's DOZENS of Dragons in this series to go through though, so don't be surprised if we get more soon! I just wanted to start with an NES one :)

Daily Dragon #152 - Goomy

Goodra line is SO good!! So any excuse to draw one of them is PERFECT for me!!

Daily Dragon #153 - Aurora Aero

Thank you all so much for voting!! Aurora just barely pulled the lead at the last moment and ended up winning as the most popular dragon of May!! She made you all cookies as thanks :)