#aaaaaaa i hope people actually see this

[ironunderstands]

Dr. Ratios predictions, theories and ideas I have for his lore BECAUSE SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND I AM INSANE ABOUT HIM AAAAAAA

‼️INCLUDES DISCUSSION OF LEAKS SO BE WARNED‼️

So, I’m sure if you like Dr. Ratio even a little bit or have kept up with what leakers are doing, you have heard of a little something.

That little something being our new planet in coming in 3.0 is Ancient Greece inspired 

Oh boy.

And oh it gets better, thanks Sparkle for playing genderbend Ratio during Cosmoddesy because 

Yup, this is his planet.

I’m well aware it will be like 7 months before we start getting proper leaks about this place, but for now, let’s do some speculation shall we, because if there’s anywhere we are gonna get his backstory/lore/a story centered around him, it will be here.

So let’s begin 

Whatever the hell I think is gonna happen during 3.0

A) He will serve as a guide for the Astral Express in navigating this planet 

I don’t think he will immediately go to them to help, or they will immediately seek out him, but rather coincidentally or through the connivence of circumstance he will end up helping lead us around, at least partially until we really get roped into a conflict.

Or, it’s the other way around, where we kinda are left to our own devices a bit and then something happens and either by his own decision or something that’s forced upon him, Dr. Ratio now has to supervise from now on.

Personally I find the second option way more interesting and I think it has way more potential for angst so I’m going with that one let Ratio be dragged around by a malicious entity or his own experiences I’m so here for it. 

B) Something happens.

Wow, descriptive. 

Ok, what I really mean is that something bad happens like a prophecy comes true or the express breaks something or a stellaron comes to eat people’s grandmas and Ratio is implicated in it. 

And this is where the fun begins, as the nature of what this something is can completely shift the story in very interesting ways.

Perhaps he was prophesied to doom Amphoreous’s civilization with his presence or something, and was abandoned by his parents on another planet?

Perhaps he has connections to the leaders there who desired for him to be their puppet/tool, so he left to find his own path and now they are trying to force him back.

Perhaps he failed at a test of theirs when he was younger, some universal trait on the planet that he couldn’t live up to and was exiled because of it. Now that he’s back, they blame whatever bad thing happens on Ratio. 

I actually really like these particular theories as Ratio has a lot of themes about creating your own destiny, so seeing him resist one forced upon him would be compelling. Moreover, I feel as though an arc demonstrating how exactly he wanted to become a Genius/where he got all his insecurities and motivations from is not only necessary for his character but would flesh out the way we see the path of Erudition in general, even if I already really like the way they have gone with it so far. 

C) Resolution/Self acceptance 

I doubt they will permanently kill him, it just doesn’t suit his character at all.

However, do I think is he gonna get messed up by whatever that “something” is? Yes. 

If the story centers on this remains to be seen, honestly, I doubt it will considering we have the entire cast of the planet and its own lore to meet and learn about, but I do think Ratio will be a major player and I hope how he feels gets some of the plot’s focus as we have quite literally only have 1 full scene of him where we see who he truly is, and it’s all the way back in 1.6 (Ratio-Screwllum conversation my Roman Empire). 

Like guys I needed this man bleeding out screaming dying crying throwing up clutching his wounds looking up at the screen like a kicked puppy losing all hope in himself and others YESTERDAY 

I NEED SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO HIM FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BECAUSE RATIO IS SO HIGH STRUNG THAT ANY AMOUNT OF PRESSURE WILL CAUSE HIM TO SNAP SO PLEASE HOYO LET HIM BREAK!!!

He needs another scene where he’s being sincere, he needs a scene where he’s being vulnerable, Ratio’s marble facade needs to crumble to reveal the man underneath and I need that man to pick himself back up again knowing he can allow himself to be human as well AAAAAAAAAA

His connections to Acheron 

If you have seen my other posts I have already talked about this at length, however the brainrot for this particular detail is all consuming so let me just demonstrate:

Dr. Ratio has the same philosophy as Acheron, an emanator of Nihility.

Look.

Essentially, they both believe that only in desperate situations will humans reach their full potential and begin to truly live for themselves. Moreover, they also both try and offer the tools to help people save themselves, Ratio with knowledge and Acheron with destroying the dreamscape, and that even if people can only become their true selves through struggle, it is the guidance and love of other people that will allow them to pick themselves up. 

Interestingly, pre-2.2 I also believed Ratio was walking the path of Nihility, due to how he engages with knowledge. That very viewpoint spawned from the 1.6 conversation I just showed you, as Ratio demonstrates to the audience that he does not care about knowledge in of itself, but rather the value it can bring to people.

Now, this sets him apart from the Genius Society members, who believe knowledge is inherently valuable and that it is what brings the universe meaning to them. Every person Nous has acknowledged has expressed this belief, which is why they were acknowledged and Ratio isn’t.

Before you say it, no, it’s not that he isn’t smart enough, quite the opposite actually.

Screwllum himself acknowledges his genius and time and time again are Ratios myriad of accomplishments brought up. In universe plenty of people believe he should have been instated into the society by now as well:

These are just the ones that implicate the society directly, as so many of Ratio’s character stories also mention just how accomplished he is.

Moreover, in 2.3 we are getting a new Sim Uni update made by Ratio himself, centered on humanity because of course it is, therefore he’s even smart enough to do the same things the GS members do, even collaborating with Screwllum to work on their favorite pet project.

So, what does this have to do with his lack of acknowledgment, and the path of Nihility?

I have established Ratio is smart enough and that he doesn’t view knowledge in the same way the other member’s do. Therefore, this difference in mindset is why Nous has never acknowledged him, because as much as Ratio thinks he is walking the path of Erudition, his personal philosophy and behaviors have never aligned with that, even if he thinks they do.

I mean, the man says it himself, even if he doesn’t realize the implications of it:

“The Path of Erudition has neither reason nor logic. While geniuses wander among the stars, the ordinary can’t even trace their footsteps.”

That is the path the Genius Society members walk, the path Ratio is criticizing in this sentence, the path he refuses to travel along himself, because what defines Ratio is that he will never leave the ordinary behind to stumble alone.

That is the path of Erudition.

And Veritas Ratio does not follow it. 

So what does he believe in?

Finding your own path. Forging your own future, in the face of a meaningless universe, that is the only thing we should do, the only thing we CAN do. 

“even a life marked by failure is a life worth living”

That’s what Ratio believes.

It doesn’t matter if the masses cannot escape their mediocrity, if they will never be geniuses, if their efforts will go unacknowledged, because the universe doesn’t care, therefore they shouldn’t either. There is no grand test, no final destination, no perfect goal people must attain.

Destiny is uncertain, and people’s fates are theirs to choose. 

Dr. Ratio believes people can still improve themselves, and that it doesn’t matter if people cannot reach the ceiling of knowledge, as they should still push themselves off the floor and stand up. 

He doesn’t think anything confines people from bettering themselves, and that it’s pointless to deliberate over whether one can achieve perfection or not, they should strive to improve themselves regardless and live their best lives because why not? Sure there’s nothing saying they can, but there’s also nothing saying they can’t, and in the face of a meaningless universe, devoid of purpose, one must create their own, and he dedicates his life to aiding others in realizing this.

Ironically, Ratio does not take his own advice. He can recognize the merits of the masses, but he cannot appreciate his own. Ratio is forever walking forward, but he cannot see the path ahead of him, or appreciate the lengths he has gone, the distance he has traveled, and the lives he has improved. 

Ratio spreads knowledge across the universe, believing that is what Nous desires, what the Erudition means, or rather should be, which is partly why he views himself as mundane, as a failure. 

Not just because he is as ordinary as any other person, but because Ratio thinks he hasn’t succeeded in his goal without Nous’s acknowledgement. I think he believes that he hasn’t done enough, that he isn’t smart enough, that he will never be good enough, therefore no matter what has happened, Ratio is doomed do be as mundane as everyone else, and his accomplishments will never be worth the gaze of the entity who inspired him to help others in the first place, as that’s what Ratio believes they would want.

However, helping others is not something Nous cares about, it’s something Dr. Ratio cares about. Even if he doesn’t understand or acknowledge it, Ratio’s accomplishments are meaningful, and he has walked his path further than most ever have. 

However, that path just isn’t the path of Erudition, it’s the path of Existence. 

Initially I believed it to be the Nihility, and in a way I’m not wrong, considering one must cross underneath the shadow of the Nihility to find the Existence, so in a way he is still approaching them.

However, as always, Acheron clarifies everything.

The Nihility envelops all, therefore it is meaningless. And before our final ending, our predetermined destiny (death), we have so many choices to make, therefore we should make them, as it makes both our life and death develop a completely different meaning.

As I have stated, this is what Ratio believes in, even if he attributes it to the Erudition, rather than the Nihility.

Ratio’s entire goal in life is to help others bring meaning to their lives and guide them in the right direction so they can begin to choose for themselves, using knowledge as his means to do so.

Which is exactly what Acheron does, “on the still waters of oblivion, I guide the wandering souls,” isn’t just a line she says because it sounds cool, rather, that is her goal as well. An emanator of Nihility, whose goal is to help others find their meaning in the universe. 

But Acheron doesn’t just want that. She is looking for the Existence, and to kill the Nihility (meaningless) forever.

Which is significant, because if Ratio believes the same exact thing she does, and is walking the same path as she is, then like Acheron, he is heading towards the Existence, not the Erudition.

And Nous will never acknowledge him, not because he isn’t smart enough, but because he never followed them to begin with.

In fact, we know what Ratio is, or rather, what he might end up becoming.

So far no Doctors of Chaos have succeeded in their goals, but perhaps Dr. Ratio, Dr VERITAS Ratio, will be the one to do so. After all, who else could it be but him?

How fitting that the man named after truth would be the one to find it.

That fuckass owl 

Glaux I want to throw you into a blender 

This is Professor Glaux, one of the figures from the Hanunue-Clockie Era of Penacony who did some things like bring the stellaron there, was a scholar of the Intellgenica Guild, became the first dreamweaver, inspired the paper birds, did some shit with the Nightingale Family and presumably died.

I know, horrible explanation, especially considering I haven’t even done the quest this guy is from, but hopefully that’s all the information you need for now so I can introduce you to this theory (which I did not create, sadly I don’t remember who did but it was someone on twitter somewhere so shoutout to them)

That being… Dr. Ratio is Glaux

I hate it I’m sorry. But I will attempt to explain where it’s coming from.

A) Glaux has very similar references to Ratio, aka they are both associated with Greek culture, wisdom and owls 

Glaux is the Greek word for owl and they are heavily associated with Athena, the god of wisdom.

Now Ratio has extremely obvious owl, Greek and wisdom association if you have looked at him for any longer than 2 seconds so I’m not gonna bother to demonstrate it, they have similar references, moving on.

B) The Intelligencia Guild + their titles 

They are from the same faction, and both are referred to as Professors (ratio gets called that more in the CN version I think), and at least Ratio dedicates his time to spreading knowledge, which I think is something Glaux shared.  

C) This occurrence in Gold and Gears

You know, the one where a student kills themself because Ratio thinks they are an idiot.

Well, it’s complicated because apparently the story told in Gold in Gears takes place a long time ago?? 

How long I don’t know as my brain melted in my skull when trying to piece it together, so please do correct me if I’m wrong, I’ll try to make sense of it later.

Moreover, this is also complicated by the fact that this particular occurrence was used by Herta to teach the trailblazer some mechanics of the sim uni, which makes me thing it’s not a part of the lore/timeline in it in general, and just something funny she added in anyways. Continually, there are also occurrences from characters like Argenti and of the Genius Society members themselves, so I don’t think every event is set in the distant past.

However, I think this idea comes from the other person in that occurrence, Dr. No5, but he also kills himself in it, and I can’t find anymore information on it, so I doubt it. (also apparently in the Chinese version the Ratio they refer to isn’t in the way they refer to Dr. Ratio/the one we know so idk)

Either way, what this means is that if this occurrence did take place a while ago, then Ratio must be super fucking old and he must have been part of the Intellegencia Guild during that time, like a certain owl aka Glaux, who was part of it.

D) Ratio’s weird origins

By weird origins I mean we know jack shit about his past (although we finally know the planet he’s from!) and for all we know the man could have spawned in one day, with some other theories even coming to that conclusion, like the infamous worm theory.

Essentially, if you put this all together, Ratio was once an owl-humanoid named Glaux who was from the Amphoreous, and then became part of the Intelligencia Guild a while back, which is when that occurrence happened. He then went to Penacony, did some stuff, faked his death and like came back as Dr. Ratio on that planet again, which is why we don’t know anything about his origins.

Can you tell why I hate this theory as a concept.

I find it to be dumb, nonsensical, a waste of potential and just straight up random as hell. However it is also objectively valid and could have happened within the plot of the game which is why I hate it so much because please hoyoverse do not go in this direction I will skin you.

However, I do not think Ratio has nothing to do with Glaux.

Rather,

A) The stuff Glaux did on Penacony is meant to parallel how Ratio acted there, as both served as a guiding figure for people on their respective timelines 

B) Ratio is the same species as Glaux/ they are from the same planet (Amphoreous).

Now this I fuck with heavily. Yes, Glaux is way more owl looking than Ratio is, however more human versions of his species could exist, and Ratio could just have the ability to like shift forms or something.

He also looks extremely similar to the owls on Ratios design, which I now deem it appropriate to show to you the metric fuck ton of owls in Ratios design.

(there’s a few more btw I just couldn’t fit them due to the image limit LMAOO)

Why do you have so many, and why is it the same fucking owl, same culture, same goddess referenced, same symbolism???? 

Like even if I hate the 1 : 1 Glaux-Ratio theory, they are clearly connected, and this is no accident on behalf of the developers. 

Therefore, I would keep an eye out for Glaux mentions in the future, especially on the planet coming in 3.0, as I 100% believe that they are from the same planet. There’s no way they can’t be connected in some manner, and if I am right about this I will be annoying about it for the rest of time. 

I can’t believe owl Ratio might actually be a reality. 

So uh, let’s put this all together.

We go to Ratio’s planet in 3.0, problems happen and we learn both his past and his connections to that owl species Glaux is from which likely causes even more problems. Bbg probably gets his ass handed to him in 3.0 and 3.1 and gets to make up for it in 3.2, ending the arc off more fulfilled as a person, and perhaps making some realizations about himself including that he isn’t actually following the path of Erudition. Then we skip all the way to endgame when the trailblazers are fighting Nanook and him and Acheron come in with the steel chair hopped up on Existence juice to give the trailblazer enough of a will to live as to not succumb to the Nihility because oh my god how can you defeat the embodiment of Destruction. We somehow win and Dr. Ratio gets married to Aventurine and they ride off into the sunset roll credits we all cheered. 

So, yeah.

If I’m even a little bit right about this I will be the most insufferable person on this planet. Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading this, and even if these theories don’t end up being true I do still think the speculation gives a lot of insight into his character.

[d34dlysinner]

Hi ! I’ve been following your blog for a few weeks and I have to say that between the few blogs here in tumblr that write about whb, this is my favorite !

I hope you’re still taking requests, and if you are, I would like to ask for something with the kings + Sitri, Amon and Foras ( the last two are optional since I understand that we don’t know much about them yet and it might be hard )

It would be something like what would happen if fem!MC (or any pronouns, whatever you feel most comfortable with ) played a prank on them there she makes them believe that she is breaking up with them and they actually believe it, like, how would they react at their s/o “breaking up” with them and their reaction when she tells them it was a prank.

It would be amazing if it was angst and fluff (smut if you want to ;) ) at the end.

I hope my ask wasn’t too long, I apologize if it was :(

As someone from a past request said, thank you so much for writing for whb !

I hope you have an amazing day 🤍

Your words literally made me AAAAAAA

Thanks for the kind words 😭

HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

You wanted to test his patience in a way.

"I think we should break up...", you said as you tried to look up at him with the most serious expression pasted on your face.

You definitely wanted to see if he would care if you did this. At the same time you were scared for his reaction as you felt your heart speed up.

Satan was silent for a second. He then laughed. You stood there in shock as you watched him laugh.

"You're lying.", he says somewhat calmly. It was weird for him to be calm which made you nervous in a way.

"You're lying, right? Last week you were crying about how you didn't want anyone else do the things I do to you.", he said casually. Some people wouldn't understand what he meant, but you fully understood what he was talking about. In a way you felt embarrassed and you felt your cheeks heat up.

"See... your face still turns red for me. Are you sure you want to break up?", he says watching af how you couldn't form an answer. "I'll take your silence as a no", he says with a smile before walking away.

Sitri was silent and only stared at you. You almost saw tears well up in his eyes.

"Solomon... you're leaving again?", he says as he became silent after that. "Did anyone catch your eye?... Did I do something wrong?", he asked.

It felt as if someone was putting pressure on your lungs and heart as you watched him panic and ask if he was wrong. You wanted to apologise and tell him that it isn't true, but before you could say something you saw him smile afterwards.

"That was a cruel 'joke', Solomon. Hearing how your heart changes when seeing me cry means that you aren't over me yet... But I'll do my best in making you want me more from now on.", he says.

Mammon watched you with surprise and disappointment. "... You don't want me anymore?... I still want you...", he says as he thinks that someone else caught your eye.

"I don't understand what I did wrong...", he says as he approached you. "If someone else interests you then I'll do my best again to make you see that you'd want me.", he says confidently. He had you once and will make sure that he'll have you at his side again for a second time.

When you told him it was a joke he didn't have much to say except: "... A joke?... Hmmm... I dont understand how this is a joke, but I'll still make you see that it's me who you'll want."

Leviathan had a displeased look on his face.

"Why?", he asked, sterness and anger present in his voice.

"If we're going to break up tell me at least why. Did someone else catch your eye?...", he asked as he walked towards you. He was towering over you as you could sense absolute jealousy around him.

"If you're going to break up to me you should give a reasoning to why you'd do that?", he asked yet again.

You didn't feel threatened, but you also didn't want the situation to escalate so you told him it was a joke. He still wasn't pleased.

"That's not a funny joke.", he says with a frown still present on his face. You didn't know what to do to make him feel good again.

"You should try and apologise in a way. I already have an idea.", he says as a smile was now gracing his face.

"You should be prepared.", he said as he left you. You were worried for what he had in mind.

Foras stopped with what he was doing as be looked back at you with shock.

"I did something didn't I?", he asked as he tried to think of reasons to why you'd like to break up.

"Or... did Sir, His Majesty Leviathan caught your eye?", he asked. He would feel conflicted if that were the case. He did love you, but he's also loyal to his king and if you were truly happy with his king he doesn't have any choice but to let you go.

"Is... Is that it? You fell for the king?", he asked again.

You felt like you had to stop the act before his thoughts would eat him up.

"It's a joke... Foras.", you said as you saw him relax.

He sighed with his eyes closed. Pinching the bridge of his nose while thinking about what you did. "That... wasn't funny MC", he said as he now looked at you. He wasn't amused, but he could atleast relax a little now. You should apologise to him again later.

Beelzebub looked at you stunned before his expression became relaxed again.

"You're lying.", he said as he had a smile on his face.

"If you wanted to break up or not keep this relationship you wouldn't even do this much effort into searching me.", he said as he kissed the top of your head.

"Nice try, but next time try saying it via text. Maybe that would make it more believable.", he says as he walked towards a direction, holding your hand and dragging you with him.

"But since you lied to me. You should be punished, no?", he said as he gave you a cocky grin.

Amon was stunned for a second before looking disappointed. The usually sleepy man looked as if he was a lost puppy when he heard your words.

"Oh...", was what he said as reaction to your words. He thought about it for a while and then asked: "... So... does this mean we can't cuddle anymore... or that we can't eat together?", he asked. It made you feel guilty for doing this as a joke. What made it even worse was what he said afterwards: "... You're leaving me too?"

You stopped the act after that and apologised instantly. He was silent and seemed unamused as usual.

"... I'll... buy us food. And then we can cuddle okay?", you said which seemed to make the demon's mood better.

[sapphirestones09]

AAAAAAA FINALLY! I'm done playing @oneknightstand-if. As part of the celebration, here is Rosie's colored sketch (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Lol, this looks like an anime title card And thus! The Stats!

Blobbed: Yep (We are what now?)

Bold : 205 (Is this high lol?) Sweet : 46 Sassy : 159 Optimist : 76

Health : 85 Mark Status : Healed Merlin Healing : 2 Merlin Forced Healing : 0

Caution : 9 Will : 7 Cloudcuckoolanderness : 42 (Not enough, we gotta go full cray cray) Silent : 7 Curse Level : 4 Fear Level : 6 Corruption : -5 (Is this low enough?) Mute : false Mindcontrol : false

Downtime : Had Breakfast | Snarfed Sweets | Shower Accident |

Route : Went into Store & Fought | (What I gotta use the hunting knives as soon as possible in some way right?)

New Inventory : Hairdryer | Sweets | Shower Mat | Everclear Alcohol (Molotov! Molotov! Molotov!) They Know : false | It Sees : Masked | You Replied False Some stats are missing when I scroll from the past posts in the forum. Such as Crazy Theory, Crazy Theory Level, Pottymouth, Serenades, Interpretative Dance, and a deep dive into the Adrian and Merlin's relationship stats (I WANT TO SEE HOW MANY TIMES I FLIRTED GODAMMIT!). I wonder if I can access it (╥ω╥) About Rosie!

You are currently known as Rosaline (Rosie) Bane a seemingly normal female wildlife biologist. You have red eyes, very long flowing icy blond hair, and a short and petite figure clad in a red cape with an amaranth face mask. People tend to take particular notice of your hair. At first glance, people tend to find you not very intimidating.

You excel at sword fighting, gardening, and having a magnetic personality. Meanwhile, you've got a weakness for prescription medications and enclosed spaces, as well as having anger management issues.

You have an ear piercing. You also have a couple of scars along your neck and wrist.

A tragic accident that claimed your whole family lies in your past and the fate of your future remains murky with the apocalypse ever looming in the background. At least no one has suspected that you are actually a serial killer.

Your final words were "And now for a final word from our sponsor—"

Note! I didnt know I could play something as chaotic and as fun as this game provided me. Its super fun and enjoyable and yet amidst the chaos I loved the characters that was shown and grown to get attached to them to a degree. Both Merlin and Adrian are mysterious and enigmatic in their own ways that makes me look forward to the story and how it progresses towards their character. Also seeing Adrian being exasperated over Cloudcuckolander MC's antics tickles my funny bones more than I can admit. I admit I was reluctant to get into the game seeing as its such a huge one, but after playing all I can say is MOAR! I NEED MOAARRRR! AND PLEASE AUTHOR TELL ME HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY PASS THE STAT CHECK FOR MOONWALKING ON THE FENCING ROUTE! I NEED TO MOONWALK! I NEED THESE PEOPLE TO CLAP FOR ME! And please can we apologize to Adrian for punching him? (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ I know in the grand scheme of things, Adrian forgives us already but we still wanna apologize (ಡ‸ಡ) And oh boy, I think Im gonna draw lots and lots of fanarts now... Skill Stats!

Personality Stats!

Can we still claim to be a newbie after Merlin's extensive lore dump on us? Relationship Stats!

Inventory!

Your ultimate weapon is unknown.

You are currently armed with... nothing, at least as far as you know.

Cold Steel SRK survival knife

You also have on hand...

E-phone 7XL

several small bottles of prescription medications

photo of your family

Killer McKiller Face's favorite stuffed animal (Rip our micro pig (ಥ﹏ಥ))

well-worn Bible (To ward off evil of course!)

mystical Magic 8-Ball (Another holy item! I sure hope it does not contain anything otherworldly that will potentially endanger us and others ha.ha.ha (→_→)

small herb garden of eclectic plants including a mutant Venus Flytrap (The only queen Rosie will ever potentially bow to!)

collection of various survival & hunting knives

small bag of iridescent pearls

bottle of 95% alcohol Everclear (Molotov! Molotov! Molotov ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝)

slightly squished pastry (I KNOW MY PRIORITIES! AND ITS SWEETS!)

[ashedink]

A Vulture In Therapy #3

The Appointment (Well, In A Few Months)

ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:15 AM

Hey so guess who just heard back from Doctor Erian's clinic after a month of waiting in the dark. I'm not scheduled until November, though Probably was too hopeful of me to think I'd have an appointment before my birthday

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:17 AM Nice! Do you have an appointment then? Oh, heck, that's a ways off ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:18 AM November 14th, yeah But I guess it gives me time to prepare So… what should I expect going in? I've heard mixed things about Doctor Erian… tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:19 AM Oh boy that's the big question isn't it So for me, and I think for a lot of other people, he went right into the gatekeepy "one letter from a physician, two letters from psychologists, live as your preferred species for however many months" ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:21 AM He can't be too bad right? Oh yeah I've heard about the "live as preferred species" thing. Not sure he'll accept my response but that's one of the few things I am prepared for. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:22 AM The thing is, I'm pretty sure it's all a secret test of your resolve and how well you match what you want He started hesitating once I got up in his face about how someone is supposed to live as a dragon for an entire year And he folded like a towel once I threatened to bite him But I saw him smirk, I think it was that I said 'bite' specifically ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:26 AM Huh. I guess I have some respect for that. Maybe a bitter respect but… uhg, I dunno, it's complicated. Like there are some things I certainly cannot physically do with my human body and that's the whole reason I want what I want. I really don't like arguing. This is gonna feel like my gallery capstone all over again. "No seriously I do know what I'm talking about, see it from this perspective" (strangling the Imposter Syndrome demon in the back of my head)

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:27 AM Yeah I don't know if he would have approved it if I'd shown any kind of doubt But maybe it's different for non-predator theriotypes idk ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM Maybe. I wonder how they'll handle a scavenger. I guess there's only one way to know. Oh, do you know when you'll get your first prescription fill? Does it take a long time? tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM I'm supposed to get it in September, apparently if you're on gender hormones you have to wait for the one year mark, something about being 'biologically receptive' But you won't have that issue so you might get yours a lot sooner ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM I suspect part of the wait is having to formulate each therian's medicine individually. Giving me cat HRT probably isn't gonna turn me into a bird. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM Yeah I guess this isn't One Size Fits Most like normal estrogen and testosterone are ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:36 AM Well. Nothing to do but wait now. Maybe getting on some of the Therian HRT support groups and hearing some more people's stories will help. Thanks for your input, hope your new therapy medicine arrives on time I might pester you with more questions in the future tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:37 AM Anytime! I'd be glad to help you along on this one ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM ^v^ (I've started using bird emoticons more, it's fun!) tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM I mean, you know how long I've been using cat emotes =3 So I get that

ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM

FIRST CONSULTATION APPOINTMENT TOMORROW WISH ME LUCK AAAAAAA- It's actually happening! It's actually happening!

tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM Gee I can't tell, are you excited? =3 ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:04 PM I am Anxcited Question: would it be considered too much if I came in with a folder of vulture facts outlining how similar humans and vultures are to each other, and how I've techincally been "living like a vulture" basically my entire life understanding that the parameters I need to fulfill exclude things that would literally kill me Because I already have the folder but now I'm second guessing myself and I can FEEL THE ANXIOUS INFODUMP INSTINCT I am either gonna say nothing at all or way too much HELP tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:07 PM Do it. Slap that gatekeepy doctor with every Cool Vulture Fact in your birb cranium Might improve your odds tbh ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You are a cool and awesome friend and I am glad I have you to encourage me when I am a scattered anxious mess Thank you Alexis tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You've got this Ash I believe in you =3

(featuring my long time friend and the person who acted as my gate into therian HRT, @tigergirltail)

[2facedweirdo]

Hey weirdo hope your trip and camp went well!!

My question is, what blogs/vns/creators do you like?

with tags so we know who ur talking to ofcourse!! have a good day!

hello!! My trips went well thank you!! hmmm….ok let’s see!

@campwillowpeak silly little vn with a pyromaniac,Gavin,Gavin’s friend and depressed dad <33 I love this game so much ngl

@mama- -sloth (I hope I wrote that right) AAAAAAA ILY SOO MUCH<33 HER HUMOR?!?! HELLO?!

@restartheartvn Ezra and Chris Ezra and Chris Ezra and Chri- I love this game, it has good storyline, good music and amazing characters!! Fun fact!! I headcanon kenneth as societyboy from blooming panic

@queenlilithprime SO SILLY PT2!! Amazing person in general tbh. They are honest, respectful, pretty just amazing friend ngl!! (Also happy restart heart anniversary!!)

@stnaf-vn. AHHHHH- again one of my very very favorites 🤭 it so fun and has amazing lore and art! Also Carter <3 (and friend of course but you know, Carter)

@itsya-boi never really talked much with yaboi ngl. But from what I’ve saw, they are also the best human alive! Would love to be friends with them, 10/10 human being right there

@you-and-him-vn Enemies to lovers with Chloe and Adam!! I love this game, THE LORE AND STORY HELLO??

@— unknown hermit as we all know hermit left so I’m not tagging her here, but I actually really liked hermit and think the didn’t deserve all the hate she got.</3

@thekrows-nest Krow!!!!!!1!1!1!1! Best boy right there!! Mwuah!! @winndycakes amazing person who has amazing art! They also helped me out when I got a hate anon along with @queenlilithprime which makes me value them even more. <3

@lavender-teardroplettes I.LOVE.SI ILY ILY ILY SOOOOOOO MUCH <33 my very first friend on this platform and I respect him for wanting to me friends with me!! I love him as a person again, genuinely 100/10 person right there 💗💗

@clownboymcchucklefuck Nothing can describe how much I love this person. THE SILLIENES??? SILLY!!

@fantasia-kitt 🤭🤭🤭 Now THIS is an amazing game who has a amazing future! Funfact2: I headcanon that my oc and hyugo are childhood friends!. As the creator however is also an amazing person you means well for their community. I hope the hiatus means well for them

@darqx AHHHHHHHHH. Every time I see a demon man that’s tall I.just.scream!! I love rire <3 as for darqx however I’m surprised that both of the other creators of btd got in scandals while draqx is still standing, impressive!

@robobarbie although I sti haven’t played seekL yet, I immediately know it’s gonna be a good game because robo made it. For blooming panic however, *deep breath* AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IT HITS THAT ONE PART OF MY BRAIN AND SCRATCHES IN A WAY THATS ADDICVE. I also like their humor!

ANYWAYS LITTLE MUSHROOMS BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THESE BLOGS I WILL BE MAKING A PART 2 IF THIS CAUSE ITS TOOOO LONG AND IM TIRED!! SEE U LATERSSSS

Btw all games and blogs mentioned are amazing people and games check them out pls <3

[pearl-blue-musings]

Aaaaaaa I love wine night 😭💖 (i fear i may have missed a couple in the past) but i’m here now! and with angsty alhaitham thots 🫣😈 how do you think a really bad argument would go with alhaitham and reader? like i’m just imagining so many scenario’s rn and i just wanna dissect this man. i’m just interested in a hc you have of angry alhaitham/how he would handle a fight with his s/o. ya know?

anyway i hope you’re having a wonderful night, mootie. i’ve missed you lots 💖

Z!!!!!! I have missed you so so so much!!! 💜💜💜 I’m always down for an angsty alhaitham you know how much I love him 🙈

Kaveh hates having to be in the middle of arguments, so he’s finally not going to be. At first he wasn’t sure why you would date someone like Alhaitham but he’s not one to judge. Until tonight that is. He’s so tempted to leave his room but honestly his roommate had it coming.

“That scholar was absolutely flirting with you,” you almost scream. “How could you not tell?!”

Alhaitham rolls his eyes as he sits on the couch. “And like I’ve told you, there is nothing going on between us. Your insecurities are astounding.”

How dare he? Kaveh slaps his forehead at his roommates stupidity. “My insecurities?! You have got to be kidding me! Do you hear yourself? Says the person who got mad that Cyno asked for my expertise.”

“The general has had feelings for you for a long time,” Alhaitham responds, “everyone knows that. Why do you indulge him? Is it because he says those awful jokes? You have had such a terrible weakness for those.”

Kaveh can sense that you’ve rolled your eyes and start to pace. “And so what?! Everyone with eyes can see how attractive you are. You’ve had plenty of people confess to you but you were too stupid to realize it. You don’t hear what they say about me! That you should dump me, that I’m no good for the grand sage or grand scribe or whatever!”

“And why do you listen to them?” God, Kaveh wants to strangle his roommate. If he didn’t have a commission to finish up he’d be at your defense right now. “If they flirt with me then there’s nothing I can do. I can’t control them.”

“But you can at least reject their advances! Why can’t you see that? She kissed! Your! Cheek!”

“It was merely friendly.”

“A friendly kiss on the cheek?! Alhaitham do you hear yourself?! No one who is a friend should be kissing you like that!”

Kaveh is certain Alhaitham is about to say something incredibly stupid and hurtful. And unfortunately, he’s correct.

“Then should I not be giving you the same affection? You are my partner after all. I give or receive affection as it’s due.”

Kaveh actually slapped his face that time. With his ear pressed to the door, he can already hear you crying and haphazardly grabbing your things. “Your partner? Am I,” your voice breaks, “nothing more than a means to an end for you? Is this just another partnership to you? To achieve your goals?” By this point you’re openly sobbing and Kaveh wants nothing more than to hug you and slap his friend.

Alhaitham pauses to think. “I don’t think-“

“Fucking forget it,” you breathe out with exhaustion. “I’m out of here.”

“Sure, just walk away angry instead of talking about it like you always do.”

You push him then and make your way out of the house. The door slams quickly and that’s when Kaveh makes his move. “You’re a fucking idiot,” Kaveh sighs. “You basically said they’re not special to you and that you do this with everyone.”

Kaveh had never seen his roommate run so fast in his life, presumably to catch up to you and profusely apologize.

Elle’s Wine Night!!

[merakiui]

I'm glad your bday went well :D!! Always very nice to hear. So so sweet of everyone. Also glad you're doing alright woooo!!!!

Ough I love catboy Floyd that's so good. Honestly thinking about it Floyd really would be one of those strays with like a bite taken out of his ear and stuff he's going through it out here 😭. but also it reminds me of that "if you're cold, they're cold. let them in your home" joke people make about silly creatures, cryptids, etc. I'd let Floyd in, catboy or not tho,, the silly goose. Could never go wrong ever actually. Totally not.

Riddle so would chase him away poor thing </3 but I see omg :0 I don't actually think I've heard that vocaloid song... I'll have to give it a listen soon !! But ough I love catboy fish <33

That's so exciting w/ the tmdg stuff though! I can't wait to read it when it's posted :D!!! I should go through your tag or something for it on here and see what you have shared because I have caught very little I fear 😔

Yeah but no the vision is just Like That sometimes. I'm sure it's a banger though.

- :3 anon

Omg catboy Floyd with a bite taken out of his ear,,,, AAAAAAA T^T I'm adopting him in a heartbeat. He can live happy and safe from now on. <3 that meme is so perfect for him. Nothing will ever go wrong when you bring the sweet stray catboy into your home. He will definitely not get unhealthily attached and develop separation anxiety that compels him to be glued to your side at all times. Definitely not. :) he will be a normal, sane catboy (he won't). "Ah, it's a wonderful cat life" is a very catchy song!!! I hope you'll enjoy listening to it. It's a fun concept for our beloved catboy eel!!! >w<

And The Vision has such a grip on me... orz it truly is Like That sometimes. I couldn't help getting carried away with this story. It's just such a fun plot!! I had to write it unrestrained!!!!! Thank you so much for looking forward to it!! It will indeed be a banger. >:D I've posted a lot about it throughout various months, so I hope you can enjoy the previews I've posted in the meantime!!

[plus-i-miss-you]

Hello! Hope you're having a nice day! Could i request headcanons for Kazui (t1 or t2, your call) with a male!prisoner!reader? I was thinking someone younger than Kazui, a guy who is openly gay since he was raised in more open minded times. How would Kazui deal with his attraction? Would seeing someone so comfortable with their own sexuality make him open up a bit or would he feel even more ashamed? (Feel free to make this as angsty or fluffy as you like)

▷ listening to:

"when will i be able to see the world in the way you do?" (male!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılı

♪ note: SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ANON AAAAAAA... i hope you like these!

♪ summary: when a liar like kazui meets an honest man like you, of course he is going to have a lot of things to think about even though he'd rather not think about them at all. he doesn't know how to feel about you. it's like a strange mix of respect, attraction and jealousy and he's not sure if he can handle it.

♪ warnings: themes of internalized homophobia, the ending is ambiguous on purpose, it's mentioned that kazui is interested in the reader, but how the reader character feels about him is up to interpretation.

♪ kazui enjoys your company, that's for sure. your way of thinking is new to him and there's so much he doesn't understand about you yet, but it doesn't mean he finds it annoying. it's actually kind of fun in a way. there's just something about the way your eyes shine, about the way you talk about the things you like, you have this energy that makes people want to talk to you more, kazui wouldn't be surprised if it turned out you were quite a popular guy before you arrived here.

♪ but it's also kind of.. sad. you have such a positive outlook on life, you accept everyone and everything so easily, you're so full of love and you're so understanding, it's.. a bit strange, maybe? kazui also doesn't get how you can be so open about everything. what he finds oversharing, you see as a completely normal thing to say. when he laughs awkwardly and tries to think of a way to change the topic, you laugh with everyone else. and your laugh sounds sincere. you're not faking. you're not pretending. you're free.

♪ this is what kazui doesn't understand about you at all. you never lie. he tried to listen closer to your words, your tone, look into your eyes, watch your expression change, but no, no signs that you were lying. so that means you're either a really good liar, or you just.. don't lie at all. and living a life without any lies sounds like a dream to kazui. or, it sounds like another lie, a lie that no one would ever believe. so when it's time for another "love talk" with mahiru and the topic of what everyone finds attractive in opposite sex comes up, you casually saying "oh, i'm more into men actually" makes this old man almost have a heart attack. (meanwhile yuno just goes "cool" in the background)

♪ like.. how did you.. do that? kazui simply laughs and goes "wow, that is so bold of you" and you just shrug and say that it's not a big deal. kazui nods with a smile and goes "haha, i see", but on the inside? he's going "THAT IS A BIG DEAL Y/N."  so everyone continues the conversation while kazui is having a crisis and rethinking his life choices. oh no, it's his turn. quick, come up with something. say something like "oh, i like a woman that can make me smile", that should work. see, mahiru looks excited, it worked- "that is a lie, isn't it". oh come on, yuno kashiki, do you really have to ruin everything like this.

♪ "no, but it does sound kind of.. you know" y/n, don't tell him that you think he lied too. well, uh, that was a lie, but. but still. you tell him that his answer simply sounds a bit too.. generic, maybe? like there's nothing special about it. like mahiru clearly looked passionate about this topic and it was hard to make her stop talking. you could tell that it's just mahiru being mahiru, but some other prisoners' answers still said something about their personality and their preferences. they sounded unique. they sounded like something they would say. what kazui said just sounded like a lie made up on spot. and well. you are right.

♪ you tell him that he doesn't have to answer, you don't want to make him uncomfortable, of course. but when everyone walks away and there's only you two left, kazui still can't help but ask you just.. how can you be so honest? how can you be so brave? where did you get all this courage to be yourself and not apologize for it? he says that he's just curious. you feel like there has to be more to it, but you don't say anything. you say that you were simply raised this way. the world is changing. people still can be cruel and unaccepting, that's for sure and you know it well. but you would rather live as yourself than live as a liar.

♪ your conversation ends with a minute of silence. maybe two, maybe three. maybe more. in the end, kazui smiles and thanks you for your answer and leaves. you walk back to your cell, not thinking much of it. meanwhile kazui knows that he won't be able to sleep tonight. there's a man in this prison who is like him, but also not like him at all. kazui was taught to hide this part of him, but you've learned to be proud of that same part. he doesn't get it. maybe.. the world really is changing? the fact that other prisoners didn't say anything about it was weird to him too. were they just pretending to be nice about it? were they just being polite? were they just too shocked to say anything? 

♪ kazui doesn't know how to feel about it. he feels like he has to do something. this whole thing feels like the universe is giving him some sort of sign, except he's too tired to care and he has no idea if that sign is telling him to stop or to keep going. he hates that you talking about your sexuality so casually actually made him a feel a bit happier because. well. saying that he isn't interested in you at all would be another lie. but also saying that he isn't jealous of you at all would be a lie as well. it's hard. it's definitely a hard choice.

♪ kazui really spends the entire night thinking about it. his head is still just as empty and just as full of thoughts as it was. when the morning comes, nobody notices that something is wrong as everyone keeps talking about something or just doing their own thing. but you notice. you turn to him, look at him and laugh. that laugh doesn't sound like you're about to make fun of him. it sounds soft. "hey, you look like your sleep schedule is worse than mine". and kazui has no choice but to laugh back. 

[dynamic-k]

ok i seriously cannot think of a question. AAAAAAA-

ummm... Because I can't think of one for Super Sticks, I am actually going to ask about The Spark AU.

Soo... Chosen has powers. The Spark is a Human AU. Other sticks- wait no humans- have been seen to have powers, like Quarter.

I swear why do I actually like and feel attached to Quarter- something is seriously wrong with me. He appeared for like, what, one chapter, and didn't even say anything?

If The Spark is a Human AU, then why do some humans have powers? Unless it's a human AU with powers. In which case, I'm an idiot.

Besides that, what does resonating actually mean? What is a 'core' and do people from other worlds have it as well? What does it do? You said somewhere that The Spark and a core are not the same thing.

What is The Spark?

Also, reading back on chapter one, what would have happened is Second touched Quarter's cage?

Like- because he's connected to it, would it hurt if he just- I dunno how to say this, but just kind of poked it with his finger?

hmmm... What is Quarter's powers like? Like- what is it actually, and how did he intend to use it in the fight?

Also if he can make solid things i can kind of just imagine him making letters in the air to talk. Oooo- does he know sign language? ASL, or BSL??? Oh I can just imagine him talking excitedly with Hazard from Super Sticks!!! (Before Vic gave him the gene supplements thingies, of course)

CROSSOVER hehe

See you next time, have a lovely day!

-R

Yay!! Spark AU ask!! My first one ever, actually- :O

jaehjawghrkjWJRGHAR *insert feral happy noises*

Disclaimer: I am under the influence of a coffee. Beware of rambles.

First off! I need to clarify things, since Quarter technically does have powers but also doesn't-

Remember this scene in chapter one?

"human modificators"

The Faction is artificially granting their own, different types of synthesized power. It's not efficient, has many drawbacks, and isn't exactly healthy for the Factionist receiving it. Quarter has a sensitive mental connection to his ability, enough that it sent waves of a mental, phantom pain striking through his head like a hammer when Demo was flung into the energy and broke through. Such a sudden break was rather harsh on the Factionist.

If Second would have touched it, he would've been granted a little shock, as Quarter's energy is highly electric. But just a minor bump against the glowing cage lines wouldn't hurt Quarter at all. It was the sudden and unexpected force, not to mention the strength of Chosen's throw that contributed to Demo's speed as he was launched, that really contributed to Quarter's brief mental agony.

I am really, oddly happy for some reason that Quarter stuck out to you! I spent like twenty some minutes making him, and I plan for him to show up later at some point near the end of The Spark, edition one.

....Yes, I may have a sequel planned, shoosh- XD With the big ol' clifferhangery ending, I kinda have to make another fic don't I~?

I hope that answers your question, about why a lot of the Factionists are superpowered despite the tag on the fanfic labeling the AU as a Human AU. Which, is true, because it's an Earth in the story that everyone lives on, and everyone [with some possible exceptions] is a human. But, you know. Modificators. Human experimentation~? :D

Honestly, with how many people have asked a similar question: wondering why there are superpowers present despite the fanfic being labeled as a Human AU... I probably should add another clarifying tag, like the "Alternate Universe - Superpowers" one... XD Oy. I thought my clarity was okay on that front, but apparently not.

Luckily, we have these asks!! :D I am answering the questions, ehehehe

Resonation lore is a big deal in The Spark AU. I'll say what I can for now, it's such a rambly topic for me- XD

As far as "other worlds"... Uh, there is only one relevant to the plot right now. Which is the one that I implied Chosen and his parents came from when Chosen was rather young as stated in-story.

Second was born on Earth, though, as seen in the flashy-flashy-backy-backy~ U v U The poor boy has no clue...

A core is like a store of energy? but not like superpower energy or an energy that can be utilized for running/powering something, more like... How do I say this... More like the heart. A core is not vitally important to whom it belongs to, but it is a big part of who the character with the core is and what kind of potential the character has for certain things that are not human in nature at all~

It will be explained much better later in the plot.

The Spark and a core are very not the same thing, but the Spark is something that can be contained within a core, and only within a certain species that isn't human that Chosen and Second may both happen to be- *is cut off before further explanation*

Quarter's artificial power is sorta... the ability to create electric matter and shape it at will. It's quite formidable, and he utilized it to encase the roof in a large electric energy barrier, glowing cage lines meant to keep the fight from moving off the roof, and to keep Chosen contained with the other Factionsists so he couldn't flee.

Not like it worked- O w O Chosen is a LOT stronger than he looks, and Demo is so huge, it took the trio quite by surprise~

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?! :O I AM IN SHOCK- Yes, Quarter does use his ability to draw words in the air, he loves practicing cursive especially- WHAT THE STICK, YOU GUESSED THAT SO SPOT ON RIGHT-

Quarter does know a fair amount of sign language. Used it mostly before he joined the Faction and ended up receiving his current power. He's very close with Demolition and Kree, and often only communicates with them using looks and facial expressions, of which the other two tend to understand very easily due to how long they spent training together.

The process of receiving a synthetic power is quite painful by the way!! :D And, uh, most of the Factionist incidents/encounters are drawn up to play some sympathy toward the guys. Also because, I like giving everyone a character and personality! U v U Even if it does mean spending a little extra time creating said OC.

Now the Mercenaries are a liiiittle bit different in the sympathetic regard? As in, you can tell they're only following orders, but they do enough harmful things it's difficult at the start to, uh, feel the exact same way about the four of them, than it is to feel about any other misguided Factionist who believes they're in the right. Mercenaries, uh... let's just say I have plans. I say this a lot, don't I- ...we'll get there when we get there, I really can't spoil tooooo much~ >:3

Anyway, Quarter's plan was as I mentioned: Making the cage to box Chosen in, so his two teammates could fight him better. Quarter would have also joined in the fight two, creating energy arrows or projectiles once he was sure that the initial cage lines were stable. It does take him a moment or two to make sure that the energy he is outputting is in place. A detriment, or weakness, I guess.

More crossover ideas!! TS!Quarter and SS!Hazard, oh STICK. They'd be besties, for sure. O w O

Fun fact: TS!Hazard is NOT mute, actually. :3

That's all the TS!merc info you'll be getting out of meeeeeeeee- /total-lie, I-can't-keep-my-mouth-shut

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi again, it's the crunchy fish stick! (oops, late reply...been busy lol) You and your QPP are really cute and I'm happy for you guys!!

Honestly I reached out to begin with cause at the time there was this online friend who I wasn't sure if I was squishing or crushing on or not at the time (he felt similarly, but without the squish part) and we agreed to give it some time to see if we should try dating or just leave it as is...and I felt like I should research because of that to find out if a) maybe I'm arospec, b) maybe we should QPR, c) is it really that difficult to be long distance.... After an evening of research and some thinking afterwards, it turns out that I feel aroflux! (and if you feel aroflux then that means you are one, like with everything else) Soooooo we had a conversation and now we've been dating for almost a month despite being half the world apart/having a 10 hr gap (funny how that's kinda similar to you and your QPP lol) and it's nice

He's allocishet (is that actually offensive?? I still don't know ^^;) but it felt great that he actually listened to my idea of "should we QPR" (even though we didn't go with that) and he didn't mind that I'm aroflux and yeah, it was a good feeling. Hopefully we won't miss each other too much cause we're both kinda busy people and also unable to travel for some years...though I guess ping spree-ing (spamming) each other on Discord in our spare time helps lol

Ummm idk if it's okay to be prattling on so much with technically irrelevant stuff ^^; but it felt right to share. Tbh I feel like that other anon who said sex was like donuts to them, but for me it's romance--it's good and fun, enjoyable when it happens, but I could see myself living my life without it just fine. (though I've only been in an online situationship that ended badly before, until recently with my now-bf...) I think the idea that being without a romantic partner for life or being a forever virgin is the worst thing ever to happen...I think people who have that idea and mindset stuck in their heads are kind of silly tbh--there's so much to life outside of romance or sex! (I'm sure you know that fully well too lol, this is me agreeing) Although I'd like to try kissing and other romantic gestures or maaaaaybe sex in the future, they don't seem like goals to me atm--is this something allos could think too?

Now that I've started "the thoughts" and prattling, I think I could talk even more but I should stop now lol

Hope you feel awesome--cause both you and your work/comics are awesome--and this is the crunchy fish stick signing off for now because she has a tendency to go on too long!

(one last thought: QPRs are like super customizable t-shirts?? how's that take?)

Aaaaaaa hello!! Thank you so so much for sending news and sharing your experience, this was super heartwarming to read TwT I'm so glad it turned out well for you guys and I wish you the absolute best!! And good luck with the distance too! Though hey, if you're giving it a try it means you're confident you can deal with it, so I have faith in you guys^^ May you be happy and vibe the way you want to vibe!

(Also I quite like that take! My godson when I explained my QPR to him also used the word "customized" to sum it up in his own words, so that definitely resonates with my experience as well)

[raphaelesbian]

Hi!! I love the PTS series and I just have some thoughts on the Shredder/Splinter/Raph dynamic that I wanted to discuss cuz I don't have many people to talk to about this topic :'D.

I find it interesting the idea the Shredder could see himself in Raphael due to his anger. What I find just as interesting is the idea that Raphael's anger is actually similar to Splinter and he sees himself in him (I am unable to cite anything right now but it's a theory/analysis out there. Kinda like in Lone Rat and Cubs when he whamos that Kraang bot). What i find REALLY cool is how these two ideas could coexist wherein Shredder thinks that he is looking at a reflection of himself in Raphael, but later finds out that what he sees is not himself but his brother, Splinter.

When they were young, do you think that Saki found comfort in his brother's anger? Do you think seeing his brother get angry too justified his own rage? Or did he butt heads with Splinter, and that anger stoked a burning fury between two?

When he looks at Raphael and finally recognize Splinter in him, will he feel rage towards the brother that 'betrayed' him? Or would he find comfort in the reminder of his childhood with his dear brother? They grew up together after all. He must've loved some part of him. He might miss some part of Splinter, no matter how little.

Idk if I'm sounding coherent though haha cuz I get nervous sending asks so I'm kinda just pushing through this and hoping it doesn't sound weird.

Great fic BTW it has been occupying my brain for a few weeks 👍👍

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ aaaaaaa thank you so much!!! no you're super coherent dw, thank you for the ask!!!

I 10000% agree!! I honestly can't recall if the concept has come up in any of my fics yet (maybe briefly, during Shredder and Splinter's fight in PTS?), but I am a STRONG believer that Raph and Splinter are super similar. Lone Rat and Cubs is a fantastic example, but even as far back as Turtle Temper that connection is made.

Not just that Splinter was a guy who struggled with his anger, and that he sees Raph as having the same problem, but also just how DANGEROUS Splinter sees his anger as having been. I've seen people hate on Splinter for Turtle Temper, and I kinda get it because yeah, his advice, though not bad, wasn't given in the best way. But I think the context of "Splinter sees his younger self in his son, and is terrified that he'll make the same mistakes" is important.

Plus, AGH the PHRASING. He LET Saki anger him, he MADE his words into weapons. The way he blames himself for his brother's actions.... gnawing on the drywall.

When they were young, do you think that Saki found comfort in his brother's anger? Do you think seeing his brother get angry too justified his own rage? Or did he butt heads with Splinter, and that anger stoked a burning fury between two?

Aaaaaaaaaaaa that is an EXCELLENT question!! Their relationship is really fun, specifically because we do get SO little about it other than after everything has fallen apart. So we get a lot of room to play with it!

Personally, I lean towards the first. I headcanon Yoshi as (slightly) older (I imagine that a big part of Yuuta choosing to spare Saki and take him in was because he had a similarly-aged child at home), and I also like to see them as being pretty close. Probably competitive, I'm sure they butted heads from time to time, but I prefer the interpretation that learning the truth about Saki's heritage caused a sudden shift in their relationship, rather than them being at odds the whole time. So yeah, I can totally see Saki taking some form of comfort in Yoshi losing his temper (as long as it's aimed at other people c: )

ALSO, perhaps this is a bit of the trigun brainrot in me fhdsaghakdg but. I kind of like the idea of like, not just Yoshi being angry, but Yoshi being the angry one. As in, Saki DIDN'T have much of a temper growing up. Like, the small bits we do see of their past, Yoshi is cocky and making jokes while Saki is cool and serious. And that's AFTER their family has degraded almost to its breaking point. So I can imagine Saki as being the calmer, more level-headed one as a child. Definitely still with a temper, for sure, but Yoshi was the hot-head in my mind. Then, he learns the truth, his life starts falling apart (/he starts ruining his own life. Saki, come ON, man), and who does he start emulating, whether he recognizes it or not? His brother. Just sayinggggg.... 👉 👈

Sorry this is getting SO long fhdsaghkdg. You've activated my trap card (u asked about the doomed siblings)

When he looks at Raphael and finally recognize Splinter in him, will he feel rage towards the brother that 'betrayed' him? Or would he find comfort in the reminder of his childhood with his dear brother? They grew up together after all. He must've loved some part of him. He might miss some part of Splinter, no matter how little.

I absolutely believe that they loved each other, and that they miss each other. Like I'm actually a little bit deranged over just how hard struggle with the fact they are BROTHERS. The INTENSITY of their hatred for each other as a mask... the only way they can cover up the grief is with anger and loathing... (Sorry to plug my own fics but if you haven't read blood of the covenant or brother (noun) yet, this whole concept was a lot of the inspiration lmao)

And!! OH my god, you're such a genius. Shredder obsessing so hard over identifying with Raph, only for it to click that Raph isn't him, Raph is YOSHI.... Shaking you. You're so fucking right. Like, Shredder doesn't realize it at all but so much of what drew him to Raph, what made him DESPERATE to get Raph to stay with him, is his similarity to Yoshi. he wanted his brother back, he wanted to prove to himself that it wasn't his fault, WHY DO THEY ALL KEEP LEAVING HIM—

omfgggggggg. yeah definitely tucking that concept away, don't mind me over here....

ANYWAYS!!!! Forgive the word vomit lmao but thank you SO MUCH for the ask I just spent 35 minutes typing this up instead of working FHKAGHKSADGLK. I am ALWAYS hyped to discuss these things.

Also I'm so happy you liked PTS gfhkadsglk thank you!! <3 <3

[theghostinthewords]

the reason netflix wednesday, and particularly wednesday x tyler has got me in such a chokehold is that-

to look at someone, engage with someone who is seen as not just an outcast but monstrous in some way and go yes i will love you anyway (on BOTH parts) and the way they both engage with each other's communication styles. yes we talk about the crypt date, but can we talk about wednesday for a second. sure, she uses people. but she's upfront about it. she tells him that. she's honest about it. which, for tyler?? someone who has been consistently lied to throughout the season? she's honest about her intentions with him, she's honest about her flaws, and the ways in which she might hurt him. is that not exactly what he needs?

we talk about how it's funny that he's like golden retriever fluffy boy to her gothic vibes but let me argue something: she's actually super grounding for him, and he takes her out of her comfort zone - like with the latte, the legally blonde date, the dance. things we consider normal are uncomfortable for her - but she tries them anyway, because he's shown her he'll respect her whether she likes them or not. likewise she acts exactly as she says she will. she's searching for the truth, and unknowingly helping him figure out what's happening to him.

like yes wenclair and wevier are fun dynamics too but weyler is just <3 for me. i really hope we get to see more of him as a character.

on a more personal note, the idea of someone seeing you as you are and loving you for it even when it's flawed, monstrous, ugly is just. makes me cry. as a trans person, as someone who has been called a psychopath and a narcissist. seeing someone look at the way wednesday communicates with the world and desiring to work with it, not just force her to try and be normal? aaaaaaa.

[akane-kurokawa]

Chapter 149 thoughts!

We’re picking up where we left off!!! Is it sad that that’s enough reason to be excited? Claire had put the fear of it off screening the rest of the convo in me (see my tags on her chapter review from last week for reference)

Poor Kana, I can get why she’s so unsure, she is really trying to piece together what’s in Aqua’s head from like, a collection of mixed messages tbh

Very funny line coming from Akane

Oh this might be the most important line in the chapter to me, mostly because it supports my insane rambling theories and analysis. I have a LOT of thoughts on Akane’s relationship with Ai from the point of view of someone who has spend a lot of time trying to think inside Ai’s head. But that’ll wait for when I actually finish my big analysis essay.

Gay gay gay gay! I love that they’ve gone from open hostility with silent admiration to admitting how great the other is. I REALLY hope they can be friends by the end of the series, they have the most important relationship to me.

Akane is such a firm supporter of Kana and her dreams, I like that she gets angry when Kana tries to step back and give what she wants to someone else, it’s a good parallel to her frustration with Kana in Tokyo Blade

Wild Kana Fled!

I’m a bit disappointed that Akane didn’t tell her the truth of what was going on with Aqua but I didn’t really expect her to. Kana not knowing shit is a big part of the status quo that I can’t see being upset lightly.

AAAAAAA AKANE UNHINGED BITCH KUROKAWA IS BACK I LOVE HER.

It’s so great to have a driving button pusher again, she’s not content to let a scene happen and be forgotten, she’s exactly what this story needs! Follow up! LOVE her just showing up at her house, she’s getting less normal by the day and I love her for it.

Akane considering that Aqua won’t let the people important to him in on his plans hurts a little, she has such an insecure view of her relationship with Aqua, unsurprising given her insecurities during the relationship as well as the breakup.

It’s sad to me that both of them are insecure as to where they stand with Aqua tbh, probably because of all the hot and cold games he’s played with them (not usually intentionally, but it’s not like he communicates intention) Like Aqua could have had romantic feelings for Akane and he DOES have them for Kana

This makes a lot of sense to me. Kana and Aqua are two people elevated to Akane both in terms of the pedestals she puts them on (the savior who was there for her during MyLove and the reason she started acting in the first place) while also being people she loves. With Akane’s fan-like perspective, it’s unsurprising that she has privately decided what’s best for both of them and plans to make it happen.

She is spiraling out of control lmao and I’m not sure if it’ll be seriously addressed or just accepted as an evolution of her character but it’s fascinating either way.

I almost forgot Aqua’s a celebrity lmao, we haven’t really talked about fame in a while.

I know Akane’s going to get a lot of flak for seemingly just going “oh Aqua needs a woman to fix him” but I don’t really know if that’s what she’s doing. From her conversation with him last chapter, we can see that Akane had a pretty good insight into what’s important for Aqua and that’s his bonds. So important, in fact, that he specifically tried to sever them in preparation for his revenge.

To me, it seems like Akane is trying to build for Aqua that he can’t easily sever like hers, and won’t push him in a detrimental direction (like hers AND Ruby’s rn tbh) to force him to see the potential consequences to his actions that he likes to ignore.

Aqua doesn’t want people to miss him when he’s gone, he doesn’t want to hurt others, which is why Akane tries to keep reinforcing how much people care about and would miss him. I don’t think she’s necessarily expecting to fix him, but rather she sees he’s conflicting and is trying to put pressure on that conflict.

Is it a good idea? No probably not, but I think it’s in line with her character and it’ll be interesting to see how it plays out.

Overall a great chapter imo, especially for Akane. I’m a big fan of the character (hence my name on here) but even I’d been strongly questioning if Akasaka had a direction for her character at this point, and considered that maybe he should’ve killed her off at the fakeout if there was nothing more to do with her.

And I don’t COMPLETELY take that back tbh, her stalking Hikaru and keeping an eye on Aqua are both not really adequate explanations behind her statements at the beginning of last arc. She intended to STOP Aqua. Not watch him, not delay him, but stop him.

I can’t really tell if she has a further plan that’s just been off screen (which was what I initially suspected at the beginning of last arc) or if she’s just kind of a plot convenient stalker now.

This was a step in the right direction though, while certainly not passing the bechel test lol, it’s elevating Akane back to a character from a plot device for me, giving her back some flaws and biases in how she involves herself with things

I’m hoping to see how this is followed up on now, especially in reference to the wet fart of an unresolved subplot that is aqrb. It’s no surprise that aqkn is endgame, I think we’ve generally all known that from the start, but I doubt it’ll actually be happening soon.

[quijabored]

Spoilers for the entirety of S5 of BSD cuz I finished it and what the FUCK just happened

Where do I even begin

I can't take this shit anymore bro, HOW THE FUCK DO FICTIONAL MEN ON A LITTLE SCREEN MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL

Cuz like-

And-

AH????

HOW DO I EVEN-

Okay okay uh

Dazai

WHAT THE FUCK DAZAI

FIRST OFF, I LOVE THAT MAN SO MUCH OH MY GOD

HE SCARED ME SO BADLY LIKE I KNEW HE WASNT GONNA DIE BUT IT JUST- SEEING THE BLOOD AND SEEING EVERYTHING FALL APART I CANT

I HAD TO PAUSE LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH CUZ I NEEDED TO PROCESS

SIGMA

HES SO SILLY

I FUCKING LOVE MY CHILDREN

Terribly sorry for the vulgar language I am very emotional right now how do I process this-

THE ENTIRE TIME HE WAS WITH DAZAI I WAS LIKE "Oooooh please join the ADA youd fit right in-"

EVEN WITH HIS FIRST APPEARANCE WHEN ATSUSHI SAVED HIM LIKE

AAAAHHHHHH

Asagiri please make ADA Sigma, ASAGIRI PLEASE

I REALLY HOPE HE GETS INTO THE ADA OH MY GOD

THE WHOLE HOME THING PLEASE I JUST

HES SO ME

I LOVE BSD OH MY GOD I LOVE BSD I LOVE BSD I LOVE BSD I-

THE WHOLE VAMPIRE STUFF GOES CRAZY WHAT THE FUCK

Can't believe Chuuya manadged to trick a mastermind with contact lenses and glued on fangs

THE WHOLE KENJI STUFF??? I LOVE HIM????

Please the fact that Tecchou is going out of his way to find Jouno like brother that is not straight I love them :(

WAAAAAAA KENJI GOT SO MUCH SHIT THIS SEASON AND PART OF THE LAST ONE TOO LIKE AAGHHH LET HIM HAVE A BREAK

I love Aya and Bram so much, I got sad and happy and upset and excited and-

AAAGGHHH

The table to pull the sword out had me so happy and then it failed and then she jumped down and then I got scared and then she got saved and-

ASAGIRIS PAYING FOR MY HOSPITAL BILLS BRO DEADASS ON THE VERGE OF A HEART ATTACK

AAAGHHHH BRAM SEES AYA AS LIKE HIS DAUGHTER RIGHT??? THEYRE SO CUTE I WANT THEM TO GO ON FAMILY OUTINGS AND HAVE ICE CREAM OR WHATEVER PARENTS DO WITH CHILDREN

"Use youre evil bwahaha power! Do something!"

I LOVE THEM :(

Ranpo getting stabbed in the hand scared me shitless though, like infront of Fukuzawa too??? Really??? Thats his autistic son :(

AAAAAAA okay, OKAY, I don't hate Fukuchi-

I didn't actually hate him, like he pisses me off but god damn he was one of my favorites for a bit and he's staying in top 15 (Not sure if hed make it into top 10 or not)

Fuck man, the shit with Fukuzawa and Fukuchi?? Made me tear up a bit tbh

YOU KNOW WHO I DO HATE??? FYODOR. THAT FUCKING BITCH-

I still want him, I love that man so much I love his character and and and-

THE SHIT HE MANADGED TO PULL OFF THOUGH??? AAAA????

LIKE

OH MY GOD AND THE SHIT WITH SIGMA

Pulling up the episode again to try and find the line

"It only took him 10 odd minutes to minipulate you. You arent the kind of man who would normally take such risks."

Like I read that and I was like "STOP THAT DO NOT TRY AND MINIPULATE MY SON"

And then he continued to try and minipulate my son. And succeeded. Kinda.

ALSO WHATS UP WITH THE NOTE

THE ONE THAT SAID HELP ME IN RUSSIAN

I REMEMBER HEARING PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THAT AND THEIR SPECULATION AS OF TO WHY FYODOR DIDNT MAKE IT BUT THEN LIKE IM PRETTY SURE HE DID??

Either Asagiris gonna pull some wild shit again or Fyodor really thought that far back.

I hate the whole DID section bro like fucking hell Fyodor, QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE JUST LEAVE SIGMA ALONE :(

AAAAAAAA AND VAMP AKU??? BRO. BRO BRO BRO

I CANT

I CANT EXPLAIN IT BUT THE WHOLE SCENE WHERE ATSUSHIS LIKE "Akutagawa Ik youre in there D:"

LIKE AAAAAAA

THOSE TWO ARE NOT STRAIGHT OH MY GOD

AAAAAAAAA BACK TO DAZAI, WHEN HE GOT SHOT I WAS LIKE "UH UH UH NONONO HES MOT DEAD CUZ- UH- UHHHH CUZ CHUUYA USED HIS INSIDE MIND POWERS AND STOPPED THE BULLET"

I WAS KINDA RIGHT CUZ I DID GENUINELY THINK HE WAS A VAMPIRE AND I WAS LIKE CHUUYA NO

Can't believe Chuuya manadged to trick me with contact lenses and glued on fangs-

AHHH WHEN DAZAI GOT "SHOT" I WAS COPING SO HARD THOUGH

And then I didn't have to cope so that was nice :3

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY I WAS WHEN FYODOR GOT STABBED IN THE HELICOPTER

OH MY GOD I LOVED THE SCENE BECAUSE PLOT BUT FUCK I HATED THAT SCENE CUZ FYODORS ONE OF MY FAVORITES BRO

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I NEED TO KILL THAT GUY :(

AAAAAAAA AND NIKOLAI??? HELP??? MY SON??? ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS GONNA BE OKAY

"You wanted to kill him, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I certainly did. No, I didnt. No... Youre right."

FUCK.

FUCKING HELL ASAGIRI IM GONNA CRY

Please Asagiri make him come back so he can be like "nooo Nikolai Im not actually dead, youre actually halucinating" or something CUZ FUCK I CANT HAVE NIKOLAI LOOKING SO SAD

HE LOOKS SO VULNERABLE AND I JUST-

AAAAAAAAAA????

Just to be clear, I'm so glad Fyodors dead, I got attached to him knowing he was probably gonna die, and while I do feel hurt by it, HE CAN STOP PESTERING THE ADA YAAAAYYYY

AND IN TURN, SIGMA :DDD

(Hes an ADA member now trust guys trust)

AAAAAAA FUKUCHI AND FUKUZAWA BRO

WHEN FUKUZAWA SLASHED HIM AND WE SAW HIS EXPRESSION LIKE AAAAA

I KEPT SAYING I HATED FUKUCHI BUT I REALLY DIDNT, EVEN IF IT TOOK HIM DYING (??) TO REALIZE THAT

THE WHOLE SCENE WHERE FUKUCHI WAS TELLING FUKUZAWA TO KILL HIM LIKE AAAGGHHHH

AND THE WHOLE WANTING WORLD PEACE LIKE AAAAAAAA

WAAAAAAAA

AND THEN HE GETS KILLED BY TERUKO??? AAA??

MY BABY SHE WAS CRYING I FELT SO BAD LIKE AAAAAHHH

"Dont look at him! Dont do this to him..." WHEN SHE WAS TALKING TO ATSUSHI AFTER LIKE FUCK

AND THEN FUKUZAWA YELLING LIKE WAAAAAAAAAA YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME BRO

ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI-

AND THE WAY FUKUZAWA WAS HOLDING HIM PLEASE IM GONNA CRY

I don't usually cry for animes since I just suck with emotions, but this damned show made me pause before the ending to just sob for a good 5 minutes

And now with that out of the way,

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING??? FYM 2 HOURS LATER??? HOW IS THE WORLD ON FIRE IN 2 HOURS??? HELLO?????

SWITCHING TO THE MANGA THE NEXT TIME I WANNA BSD CUZ ITS SLIGHTLY MORE PROGRESSED FROM MY UNDERSTANDINGS BUT AAAAAAA

FUKUCHI HAD ME SOBBING AND THEN HE COMES BACK AS LIKE A GOD THING??? I THINK????

IS FUKUCHI DEAD OR NOT????

I mean considering he's floating I have no idea what happens BUT STILL

AAAAAAAAA I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH IT MAKES ME GO YAY AND THEN NO AND THEN YAY AND THEN NO AND-

SHOUTOUT TO MY COUSIN BTW SHES BEEN SITTING THERE WATCHING ME POUR MY HEART OUT THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS WATCHING THIS DAMN SHOW

I can't ramble to her about much since she's also watching it, BUT AAAAAAA

I LOVE BSD SO MUCH IM SOBBING

I HATE THIS I LOVR THEM SO MUCH I HATE BSD I HATE IT I HATE IT OH MY GOD (I love bsd its my comfort show :3)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari! If you could choose between satoru , suguru or shoko as your significant other, who would you choose and why?

ANONNNNNNNN YOU’RE SPOILING ME 😭😭😭😭 an excuse to talk abt sashisu…… ok but can i say all three 👉👈 jk we’re gonna discuss this thoroughly actually. for the sake of the argument let’s assume we’re in a no curses au <333

see here’s the thing right ….. when you get down to it, i see sashisu as very similar people. in the sense that when you first meet them they appear really Mysterious & Sexy & Perfect but they’re actually all losers. all three. they’re barely functional <33 I SAY THIS WITH ALL THE LOVE IN MY HEART BTW it’s their most endearing trait!!

but loserism aside i firmly believe all three of them would make such good partners :((( they’re softies once you get down to it!! but i think the first impression you get of them is farrrrr from even scratching the surface of their true selves… i’m just gonna ramble a bit about all of them aaaaaaa

satoru is the kind of guy who instantly intimidates the hell out of you because he’s just …. sooooo out of your league? like he’s tall and hot, he smirks and teases you and he has this charisma that you can’t deny. he’s a people magnet!! and as if that wasn’t enough, he also just so happens to be good at Literally Everything????? so even if he obviously likes you there’s that sense of him being totally out of reach… and he’s so friendly with everyone that i think you might assume that he’s a player which he isn’t at ALL but like 😭😭 that’s the impression you might get. he’s just so effortlessly perfect.

…….. except not really because as you grow closer to him you soon come to realize that he’s a loser. a silly little loser guy. absolutely infuriating. the type who trips you up in public and calls you cheesy petnames in front of your friends just to embarrass you. and he’s clingy. whiney. will make himself cry if that’s what he needs to convince you to stay home with him instead of going to work like he’s soooo ridiculous?? also eats out of his childhood digimon bowl even though he’s pushing 30 and forces you to watch the first three seasons with him (he literally will Not let you leave or even look away because he needs to see your reaction to every single scene)….. makes you handfeed him treats and nips at your fingertips. tickles you if you’re angry at him which makes you way angrier but he thinks it’s hot so he just continues.

yeah. silly little satoru. perfect and infuriating and childish — but, really, he’s just a softie. a lonely guy who gets attached too easily but doesn’t let anyone in. a lonely, sappy little guy who gets terrified at the thought of you leaving once you’ve peeled back those layers he tries so hard to hide. a silly, sappy, lovely little man who will stop at nothing to see you smile, to laugh, to watch you thrive. who just wants you to be happy, and just wants to be near enough to see it. that’s enough for him. he doesn’t have the courage to ask for anything more, right now, but he hopes one day he will. he wants to be yours in the softest of ways. he knows he’s not the easiest to be with, you know? he can be annoying, and emotionally unavailable, and he can seem terribly out of reach — but i firmly believe that satoru is the softest of these three. he just has so much love to give :( wants to be with you forever, as a friend, as a lover, as whatever you’ll have him as.

and then shoko …….. when you meet shoko your immediate thought is like . okay hi mommy <33 we all know it’s true so let’s not lie. to put it simply she just has bad bitch energy — all laid-back and mysterious, cuffed sleeves and loose cigarettes and murky eyes that see right through you but never stare too intently. and she’s nice, you know? just has that allure about her. she’s so easy to talk to, so easy to fall in love with. just reels you in so effortlessly — and suddenly you have the hottest girlfriend on the planet and you’re scared because what if you’re not good enough?? what if she gets bored of you????? it makes you nervous. shoko is just so cool, you know?

….. buuuut then you start dating her and find out that she’s a wreck. <3 uses the same coffee mug over and over without washing it, wears dirty boxers around the house, can’t cook to save her life, will try to make out with you while you’re studying and apparently purposefully lit her cigarette in a really sexy way when you first met just to impress you. she tells you as much when she’s a little tipsy, clinging to your back like a koala and giggling sheepishly. <3 similar to satoru in that she can and will manipulate you into sleeping in with her. don’t let her fool you — she’s just as silly and teasing as her counterparts. it just so happens that she’s a woman so i would let her get away with literally anything no matter how heinous you can’t stay mad at her because she’ll pout and frown oh so sadly and you know she’s tricking you but how are you supposed to stay mad at your little baby?? :(( yeah. she knows you’re whipped and she uses it against you all the time.

she’s just as whipped for you, though. she can be troublesome but i really do think a love with shoko would be so soft and mature; she cherishes you so earnestly, respects you so deeply. always, always takes you seriously. such a warm, warm presence in your life because she’s so stable. never leaves, never lets you forget how important you are to her. never ever takes you for granted. she’ll tease you sometimes, yes, and some of her habits might be a little irritating — but there really isn’t anything she wouldn’t do to ease your burdens. she sees the two of you as a team, and she’s determined to be just as much of a positive influence on you as you are on her. shoko really is such a sweetheart. she’ll still wake you up at an ungodly hour because she wants coffee and ”yours just tastes better 🥺🥺” but it’s okay because she’s cute <33

and suguru ….. arguably has the greatest whiplash factor of them all. you meet him and you’re instantly smitten — there’s really no other option. you can’t help but fall for him. a handsome, brooding, mysterious guy, with his leather jacket and piercings and keen eyes, and all of it just pulls you in….. but then he’s also such a nice guy? it doesn’t feel forced, either. it feels genuine — he puts you at ease, always listens to what you have to say, so patient and grounding. so intelligent, passionate, so good at making you fall even deeper in love. sugu is a different kind of people magnet than satoru; you’re stuck in his orbit before you even knew what hit you, because how could you not love someone like him? his charm in lethal.

buuuut guess what !!! he’s a loser too <333333 god where do i even begin with this guy. when he’s truly, truly comfortable around you i just feel like he’s a couch potato . a cuddle bug . literally won’t let you leave the house. and he’s such a little bitch??? steals your sweaters and gaslights you into thinking they were his the whole time (it works), puts your phone on top of the fridge if you misbehave, loves to read with your head in his lap but exclusively reads classics and will judge you so deeply if he finds out you like anything else…. he doesn’t say anything, never, just silently judges you with the meanest side eye and then acts like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about when you call him out. smh. also he gets super giggly when he’s sleepy and i just know he snores. sometimes he wakes you up and he’s soooo apologetic :(((((( such a sweetie. yeah sorry i can’t criticize him for too long i truly believe this man is an angel.

like. flaws aside…. suguru just cares so much. he cares more about you than he cares about himself. once he’s truly let you in, into his life and into his mind and into everything he hides from the rest of the world — he’s never falling out of love with you. it’s simply not an option in his mind. you’ve earned a place in his heart and it never even shrinks, just keeps extending and extending until he feels a little lightheaded with bliss. because you understand him, you accept him, and he’s just so eager to return that loves tenfold. he cooks, he cleans, he holds you and listens to your soft breathing when he can’t seem to calm down. he orbits around you like the moon to the earth. he is just so, so soft for you. would do anything to keep you safe. wants to be your safe space so badly that he’ll rearrange his ribs to make it more comfortable for you. always looking at you, making sure you’re comfortable, asking if there’s anything else he can do for you. you’re his baby, and he lives to tend to you. it makes him happy. :)

so!!!!! with all that being said …………………. 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

let’s be real we all saw this coming wbk i’m gonna have to go w sugu . sorry . 😔😔😔 my type is milfs and i fear he is the closest out of all three i like my men motherly ok </3 BUT I LOVE THEM ALL SM I WANNA DATE THEM ALLLLL they would all be such great partners i know and perceive the truth just trust me ….. emotionally unavailable and silly and teasing but the softest little marshmallows once you earn their trust :(((( sob. they mean the universe to me

[beanghostprincess]

I just read ur full reply about ur book and i am SAT! i feel called out by ur characters, i relate to them alot wtf esp w ophelia😳 im rly interested in stories with very complex protagonists, and i love how u mentioned that ophelias pov can be morally dubious too. I love it when an author acknowledges their protagonist is being a twat/ wrong and isnt afraid to direct those issues💕 also the way ayleen is gonna be characterized thru ophelias eyes… im a sucker for that writing trope aaaaaaa

Ngl ijbol when u said that it was first a sanuso cuz i cant totally unsee that(in a good way)dksjxksjs but im sure that u have already separated them from ur own characters

If its ever published, i hope to find it in my countrys bookstore jdjxjsjxj

AWWWW THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!

I'm so glad you relate to the characters in some ways. I also do because every character I write has at least 5% of my heart in them, and I'm glad other people can understand them <3

And yesss, both characters are pretty complex and morally gray and that's actually a pretty main topic in the book because they speak about morality and their views of humanity A LOT. They're yappers (mostly Ayleen, but Ophelia has interesting things to say too). I admit they're a bit messed up and I love that for them. Nobody's perfect and nobody has the purest heart, they're just human.

Ayleen is described through Ophelia's eyes because it's mostly Ophelia's POV and even when it's not, Ayleen's narration is... Not that reliable tbh. She couldn't even know how to describe herself and if she did she'd probably be extremely wrong. The whole point is that Ophelia reads Ayleen perfectly despite not understanding half of the things she says sometimes (enigmatic silly depressed girl x girl captivated by her trying to understand her).

Actually!!! This story wasn't a Sanuso fic. I mentioned the Sanuso thing saying that my first idea for my first book wasn't this one at all, but that one Sanuso fantasy fic I wrote instead. But since it's too complex for a first book, I'll probably leave it for the next one or for whenever I'm ready to write more complex world-building. I specified it because I mentioned weeks ago that I'd be writing a book about that Sanuso fic but ended up changing my mind FOR NOW. It'll happen eventually.

Although THIS story is inspired by another fic I wrote but never published. It was another fandom's fic but it's not worth mentioning since it'll never see the light of day unless it's in the form of this book. And it has nothing to do with the original fandom either tbh.

AND I HOPE I PUBLISH IT SOMEDAY THANKS WJNDKSNSKS 😭💖💖💖💖 THIS IS SO SWEET IT MAKES ME WANNA KEEP WRITING ILY