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[nadvs]

cam girl (part two)

pairing rafe cameron x female reader

rating explicit 18+

summary you work two jobs. by day, you’re a maid for the cameron household, where rafe degrades you any chance he can get. by night, you’re a cam girl, hiding your face so nobody can recognize you. when you discover your new subscriber, the filthy-mouthed man obsessively paying you to do everything he can think of, is rafe, you’re not sure what to do next.

» masterlist

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

The next time you log in to the cam website, your heart is racing. Throughout your classes that day, all you could think about was how hot the session with the man you thought was a stranger was last night.

But he isn’t a stranger. He lives in the mansion you get paid to clean twice a week, where he taunts you every chance he gets, practically fucking you with his eyes.

Does Rafe know it’s you on the camera? Is this a sick little game he’s enjoying, thinking you don’t know it’s him? Or maybe he’s aware you know who’s behind the account and he wants to see if you’ll say something about it?

But you do such a good job hiding your face. He can’t know it’s you.

You wonder if it’s wrong to continue doing the nightly private sessions knowing his identity. But when you remember how much joy he gets from berating you while you clean his house, you figure it’s ridiculous to care about the ethics of it.

You try to focus on the fact that you’re making so much money. Rafe gave you over $1500 last night. And he wants to keep paying you for every session. At this rate, you won’t have to worry about bills or your college tuition at all.

You closed your cam girl account to all other subscribers and posted a note that you were no longer streaming. The truth was, you were, but for one man only.

The thought of Rafe lying in bed jacking off to you turns you on before you even start the chat with him.

You take a deep breath, your hand hovering over your laptop trackpad. Rafe Cameron is going to watch you get naked and touch yourself and it makes your stomach feel like it’s flipping.

You start the private session.

Your screen fills with the image of you from your lips down to your feet as you’re curled up on your bed. You’re in a sheer white nighty with no bra or panties on underneath, your body hardly hidden beneath the smooth fabric.

Rafe called your tits perfect last night, so you figured he’ll appreciate you having them on display right when he logs in.

figure8 has joined the session.

You swallow hard.

figure8: been thinking about you all day princess

His words give you butterflies. You try to keep your confidence at the same level now that you’re aware of who’s on the other side of the chat. You refuse to be intimidated knowing it’s Rafe.

“Yeah? What about me?” you ask.

figure8: how pretty that pussy is and how im gonna watch you fuck it from behind

You feel the blood rush to your face. You know he has a filthy mind from the comments he makes to you at his house while you work, but this is more than you ever expected.

“Should I go slow for you again?” you whisper. “I know you like that.”

figure8: what a fast learner

You smirk. There’s the Rafe you know. He has such a natural talent for mocking you.

“You like this little outfit?” you ask him, your hands running down the fabric on your chest, fondling your tits. “I wore it special for you.”

figure8: so fucking hot. bounce those tits for me

You sit up on your knees and arch your back, lightly bobbing on the bed with your hands up in your hair. He has a perfect view of your chest beneath the sheer nighty, your nipples hard under the fabric as your tits jiggle up and down.

figure8: damn. i’d leave hickeys and bites all over those tits. you like to get bitten dont you princess. i know you like it rough

With every other viewer you’ve had as a cam girl, you’ve lied about your preferences just to get tips, but with Rafe, it’s like he knows exactly what you want. You haven’t had to lie to him once.

“I fucking love it rough,” you moan. You put your hands up to your tits and squeeze hard. “I want you to leave marks on me.”

figure8: i’d leave them all over your tits and your ass

“Yeah? Would you spank me? Hard enough to leave a handprint?” you ask, turning around and slowly lifting the nighty over your butt. You stick out your ass for him and sway it slowly for him.

figure8: fuck yes. shake your ass

You spread your knees wider and obey, looking back to watch your body on the screen. The thought of Rafe lying in bed fisting his cock while he watches you makes you get even wetter.

figure8: straddle your pillow. i wanna see how you’d ride my face

You tilt the laptop down so he doesn’t see above your mouth as you move to grab a pillow from behind the computer. You readjust the screen then straddle the pillow, the cotton soft against your naked core.

You start to buck your hips, shuddering immediately. You’re dazed already, desperate for his hands on you, as you rub your body against the pillow.

“I’d ride it fast like this,” you say breathily, humping the pillow.

figure8: my needy girl. my dick is throbbing watching you

figure8 tipped you $200.

figure8: that’s for riding it so well

“Thank you,” you purr, still grinding the pillow. The feeling of getting paid while doing something that feels so good is intoxicating. You’d do anything Rafe’s filthy mind desires.

figure8: don’t cum yet. i’m not done with you

You bite your lip in frustration.

“Okay,” you say heatedly. You slow down your thrusts, back still arched as you await your next instruction.

figure8: show me how you finger yourself. get your pussy nice and close to the camera

You shift to spread your legs in front of the camera, seeing yourself on full display for him.

figure8: start with one finger. i want you to work up to four. can you do that princess?

“I can do that,” you say shakily. You insert a forefinger into your warm, tight hole and let out a contented sigh.

figure8: pump it in and out slowly. add a second finger when you’re ready

You obey, stretching yourself out a bit before adding a second finger. Slowly, you add a third and writhe a bit. You push your hand back and forth, watching yourself on the screen.

You add your pinky finger and slightly tense up, your body rolling.

figure8: breathe through it. you can do it

You let out a shaky exhale as you continue, watching your fingers disappear inside of you.

figure8: good girl stretching that pussy out so nice. i bet you taste so fucking good. taste yourself for me

The request is so sinful, so unlike anything you’ve ever been asked to do. You slowly pull your fingers out of yourself, bringing your hand up to your mouth, making sure he can see your lips.

“I’ve never done this before,” you say to him.

figure8: you’ll do a lot of new things with me, princess

You taste your wetness, sucking on your fingers for him with a slurp loud enough for him to hear. It’s such an animalistic, depraved act, and you find yourself wishing you could do it with him in person, have him watch you do this in the same room.

figure8: god i want to taste you so bad

“I want to taste you, too,” you whisper. If only Rafe knew how accessible you were to him, in his house twice a week. “You know, you can send me photos whenever you want.”

figure8: desperate to see this dick aren’t you

You smile. He could not be more correct. You don’t know how you’ll manage to be around him in person and act normal knowing what you know.

Your stomach heats when you see that he sent a photo. He’s holding his cock, the curve of it so perfect, a pearl of precum leaking out of the tip.

“I want to use my mouth on you,” you keen. “My pussy is aching for it.”

figure8: i know you’d love the taste, princess. show me how you’d take my cock doggy style

Finally. You pick up your dildo and turn around, backing up towards the screen. You angle to slide the toy in slowly, feeling it fill you up, then move your hand so he can view you clearly.

figure8: i can see you dripping

Sure enough, you look down on your sheets to see drops of your own wetness. This man has got you hornier than you’ve ever been.

“That’s what you do to me,” you rasp. “Fuck, I bet you’d destroy me.”

figure8: that pussy would grip my dick so well. i’d fuck you so hard

“Can I please do it now?” you say breathlessly, throbbing with need.

figure8: only because you asked so nice

You dip your arm between your hips, knees sinking into your bed as you lean so your cheek is pressed against the mattress and out of the camera’s frame. You hold the base of the toy and shut your eyes and imagine Rafe’s warm, hard cock inside of you instead of a dildo you have to control.

Breathy moans spill out of you as you thrust the dildo in and out of your slick cunt. You picture him behind you, his hands on your hips as he ruthlessly thrashes in and out of you.

The orgasm slowly builds and builds.

“I’m gonna come,” you say, muffled. You bite your tongue, stifling the urge to call him by his name. Your eyes roll back as the orgasm ripples through with a powerful force, making you shake with pleasure.

When you finally regain enough energy, you sit up and turn to look at the laptop again. To your delight, you see that Rafe sent another photo.

You look closer at the image to see his cum sprayed across his muscular stomach, the white splashes of his pleasure glistening atop his abs.

“Shit,” you rasped. The image is so sexy that you feel yourself getting aroused again.

figure8: see what you do to me? i never cum this fucking fast

figure8 tipped you $100.

figure8: use the money to buy this. have it ready tomorrow

He sends a link in his next message. You open it to see a sex toy website. The page he sent is for a rose vibrator.

“I’ve always wanted one of these,” you say breathily. “Thank you, baby.”

figure8: dont use it without me watching. understand?

“Yes,” you say.

figure8: sleep. you’ll need your rest for what im doing to you tomorrow

figure8 tipped you $1000.

Rafe leaves the chat. You follow his instructions, ordering the toy right away and selecting the option to have it delivered tomorrow. What is he planning?

You decide to do some more online shopping, finding a top you know he’ll like.

After you buy the items, you stare at your laptop, reeling from what just happened.

You look at the pictures he sent again. Rafe was always such a cocky asshole whenever he taunted you at work and it definitely isn’t from overcompensation. He’s so well-endowed that you know it’d hurt so good having him inside you.

How would he react if you told him you were the girl he was jacking off to? Would he be embarrassed? Or relieved he could fuck you for real? Because you’d let him have sex with you. After tonight, there’s no doubt about it.

You close the laptop. It’s Thursday, meaning you’ll likely see Rafe in two days when you’re back at the Cameron estate on Saturday as scheduled. You typically see him around the house, but there are times where you don’t run into him at all.

You don’t know if you’d prefer to see him or not. How could you act normal after having him talk to you like that, after seeing his naked photos?

You try to go to bed right away, but your head is spinning.

The next night, you log in wearing skimpy white panties and the pink tank top you bought the night before, the word “princess” stretched across the front in white cursive letters.

Rafe joins the private session and you can imagine the smirk on his face once he sees your outfit.

“Hi, baby,” you coo, pinching the peaks of your nipples poking beneath the shirt. “You like my top? Bought it last night.”

figure8: its perfect. i want you to spoil yourself with every dollar i give you

You giggle and hold the small silicone rose toy up the camera.

“I was tempted to use it, but I didn’t,” you admit. “Promise.”

figure8: good girl. i hope you got your rest last night. im not paying you til you cum three times tonight

“Oh, my God,” you laugh. “Three? I don’t know…”

figure8: you can do it, princess. take ur panties off but keep that shirt on. don’t want u to forget who u belong to

His possessiveness is so attractive that you feel yourself getting wet already. You slide your underwear off, spreading your legs and putting yourself on display for him.

figure8: tell me what you’d want me to do if i was there. you’d like my head between your legs wouldnt you

You giggle, “You read my mind.” You put your fingers on your clit and close your eyes, imagining curling your fingers in Rafe’s hair as his tongue presses against your middle.

You would have never guessed that Rafe Cameron likes eating pussy, always having assumed he was selfish in bed. But he’s been surprising you since the first message he sent.

“I’d want you to start off kissing me right here,” you purr, “then you’d start using your tongue. Then you’d suck my clit.”

figure8: then i’d put my tongue deep inside your tight cunt

Reading the words makes you tremble. You lower your hand to spread your lips open and show him your opening.

“Right here?” you tease.

figure8: i want my face all wet from you

You groan, imagining his pretty face glistening, his pink lips swollen from eating you out.

You grow wetter and wetter as you touch yourself.

figure8: get the toy

You eagerly pick it up and hold your finger over the “on” button.

“Which setting?”

figure8: whatever will make u cum the hardest, princess

“You get off on me feeling good, don’t you, baby?” you tease.

figure8: those sounds you make are so fucking perfect. i’m already rock hard

“You want me to be loud?”

figure8: don’t hold back. i’ll count your orgasms with you ok? and on the third one, we’ll cum together

This man could not get any sexier if he tried. You curiously explore the toy, finally turning it on and hearing it buzz immediately.

You place it on your clit and the pleasure is instant. You let out a sharp exhale, imagining Rafe touching himself while he watches you.

The toy buzzes and suctions on you and it doesn’t take long at all for the first orgasm to roll through you. You don’t stifle the moan that comes out of you, knowing he’s enjoying it.

figure8: that’s one. that was so fast, princess

“I was horny all day,” you confess.

figure8: thinkin about me?

“Mhm. That picture of your cum all over your stomach is so fucking nice.”

figure8: then u can imagine how much i enjoy watching u fuck urself

“I want a video of you rubbing your cock,” you say impulsively. “I want to hear your sounds, too.”

figure8: you’re such a needy girl

“It’s why you like me,” you flirt. He doesn’t respond right away, making you anticipate that he’s recording a video for you.

A file from him pops up in the chat. You eagerly play it, watching six jaw-dropping seconds of his hand moving up and down the thick girth of his dick in his dark bedroom, his heavy breathing filling your ears.

“God,” you whimper. “I’m ready to go again.”

You pick up the toy and place it on your clit, pressing it down hard as it pulls another orgasm out of you after a minute. You moan out a jumbled, high-pitched mess of “oh, fuck”s as you cum.

Your muscles are tingling and tired. You’re not sure you can give yourself a third orgasm.

figure8: two. not done yet

“Maybe we stop here?” you whisper. “I’m already so weak.”

figure8: are u going to be a good girl or not

“I will,” you resign. “I will.”

figure8: go again. on the max setting

Feeling spent but determined to please him, you put the toy on your sensitive clit again. You hang your head back, looking up at your bedroom ceiling as you press the button a few times to turn on the highest level.

The toy’s suction and pace is brutal and unforgiving. You cry out from the overstimulation, writhing beneath it. The forced orgasm rises inside you and you groan loudly as you cum, tremors ripping through your body.

You’re panting when you turn off the toy and sit up to look at the chat. Rafe sent another photo. His hand is holding his cock at its base, the swollen shaft covered in his cum.

figure8: would u lick this up?

“Every fucking drop,” you say, wishing you could have orgasmed with him inside of you.

figure8 tipped you $2000.

figure8: extra for being so good

The high of the orgasms, of your bank account growing all because this man wants to watch you pleasure yourself, makes you feel like you’re floating.

“I belong to you,” you tell Rafe drunkenly, unable to imagine letting anyone else watching you like this ever again.

figure8: yeah you fucking do. that pussy is mine

“All yours,” you whisper.

figure8: ill see u tomorrow. good job today princess

Rafe exits the chat, leaving you a heaving mess.

Your heart feels like it twists reading his last message. He surely means he’ll see you on camera tomorrow… but what if he means at the estate for your housekeeping shift?

No, he doesn’t know it’s you. He can’t. You breathe out a tired sigh and take a long, hot shower before going to bed.

Your shapeless uniform is scratchy against your skin as you walk into the mansion the next day, still not sure if you want to run into Rafe or not.

You finish up cleaning downstairs and move up to the bedrooms, leaving Rafe’s room for last.

When you enter his room, it’s empty, the late morning sun hidden behind the blinds covering his big windows. You hear the shower in his ensuite running. You curse to yourself, suddenly nervous to see him. Maybe you can quickly collect the laundry and leave before he gets out.

You start to strip the bed, picturing the photos he sent you of himself on it, fucking his own hand and cumming with you. He lies right here, typing dirty things to you, watching you fuck yourself.

You’ve only unbuttoned one button of the duvet cover when you hear the shower faucet get turned off. Shit.

You rush to unbutton the cover, but you finish just as the door squeaks open behind you. You can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” you mumble, keeping your back to him and leaving the bed half-done.

“You’ve seen it all already,” Rafe huskily says behind you. You freeze for a second.

You shyly keep your eyes on the hardwood floor as you turn. When you look up at him as he towers over you, his mouth merely inches away from yours, you see he’s wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips.

His hair is wet, his broad chest spattered with water drops. He smells amazing from the body wash he used and his eyes are heavy lidded and his smirk is so damn self-satisfied.

“Why do you look so surprised? You really think I didn’t recognize that pretty mouth right away, princess?”

{ read part three here }

[idyllcy]

and on and on, yeah we got the time

Word count: 1.2k || pt2 of on and on, || art creds: 30backyard (lofter)

summary: dorming is hell, so your boyfriend fixes that obv

"You know, Jay." You raise a brow as he does all of the heavy lifting, sliding your mattress on the ground into your shared bedroom in the new apartment. 

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Oh, god. Did you learn that while reading on ao3 again? Jesus." You grumble. "What I was going to say, though, was that you really... you probably could have called a moving company."

"Listen, lovely." He points. "You have me."

"Yeah, yeah." You sigh. "I love you too, Jay."

"Good, cuz I've seen how many weird fratboys make eyes at you on the daily, and I honestly think some of them need to get beat."

"Not like you couldn't beat them." You pat his shoulder. "Is that it?"

"Should be." He hums. "How do you like our place?"

"Can't wait to have all of my annoying ass textbooks slotted in the bookshelves that you decided were necessary while telling Bruce to remodel."

"Can't wait to have your dissertation plastered on the walls."

"Oh..." You mumble. "Our degrees... You plan on living here forever?"

"Just a little, maybe."

"Could we just throw the mattress off the balcony next time?"

"I mean, I'm not saying no..."

You find that Jason's still the biggest book nerd in college. His 4.0 is daunting compared to yours despite being in the same school as you, and it's just a little... terrifying. At the very least, all of his professors adore him. You find that it's at the very least — helpful. It's great that Jason's adored by your shared professors because when Jason accidentally lets slip that you're his girlfriend, it gives you a boost. You don't know how, but you end up relaying messages to Jason through your professors occasionally. You wonder just what kind of tactics Jason's employing to get on their good side an ungodly amount, but it's not your problem. Jason has the face card and the personality for it.

At the very least, when it comes to you, he does.

"Prof wants to see you at office hours." He hums. "English 102."

"Jesus, what did I do now?" You grimace.

"Probably that shitty essay you bullshitted."

"God." You mumble. "I truly need to get on your level."

"Thank you, sweetheart." He hums. "The art of knowing does not come easy."

"Yeah, yeah." You grumble. "We should get back to a book a week. Sorry, I mean I should get back to a book a week."

"You can start by catching up with me."

"M..." You pause. "How about... no."

"Well, your choice." Jason hums. "We're mid semester—"

"WHICH IS ANOTHER THING. WHY DID WE MOVE MID-SEMESTER??" You snap your head to look at him, annoyed. "Jay, baby."

"I know." He pouts. "But you hated that dorm too."

"Yeah, but now I have to change all of my mailing addresses. Again." You mumble. "I hate doing that. I don't know how many accounts I even have."

"At least you got all of your packages."

"I guess..." You sigh. "Well, at the very least... we own this place."

"We own the building."

"WHAT." 

"Correction. B bought the building and transferred ownership to me. I own the building."

"Oh my god." You mumble. "You truly are learning from the worst..."

"Worst being you?"

"Yes. Duh. How many times have I called B for a hundred dollars because I couldn't afford matcha?"

Jason holds back a laugh, closing his eyes as his brows furrow. "Matcha does not—"

"No, but B can spare it." You hum. "Don't worry. I pay him back with the abundance of gifts I bring with each travel."

"Which is on B's account." Jason pauses. "You know what? Yeah. Whatever. Eat the rich. I didn't steal his tires and strike gold for me to be telling you to go easy on his bank account."

You give him a thumbs up. "Well, I make my own as well. It's nice to not need to worry about tuition... but it's also a pain in the ass to not be able to make money here."

"At least you have a legal ssn and everything."

"Not."

"Not ssn. Sorry." He snorts. "Well, better than the goons in Gotham, I'm sure."

"Definitely." You hum.

Jason tunes out your rambling as he glances around the room. The couch would arrive soon, and the rest of the furniture (including the 4K HD TV that you deemed necessary in order to, and he quotes, "see men in 4k" on) would arrive soon. He wonders just what he would be doing had he not met you. 

Would his life have ended when he nearly lost his life? Would he have gone to find his mother had you not clung onto him and threatened suicide? Even then, you were insane. He glances back at you as you tilt your head at him, expecting an answer.

"Sorry, babe. Spaced out."

"I was asking if you wanted takeout for dinner."

"Maybe?" Jason pauses. "Sure. You wanna order?"

"There's a place downstairs that I wanted to go to." You hum. "Right out there."

"Hope that pizza is just as good as the one that Dick won't shut up about." Jason mumbles.

"You recon I could ask them if they take school dining dollars?"

"They don't."

"Wouldn't hurt to ask." You grin. 

"I'm not asking for you." He deadpans. "I'll search it on reddit for you, though."

"Mm... that works." You hum. "So... wanna tell me what was on that exam you took?"

"No."

"No?? Not even a clue??" You gasp, pretending to be hurt.

"You'll be fine."

"That 88 I got on my first exam begs to differ."

"You're my smart girl." He hums.

You grimace at him.

"Alright, alright. But you're paying for dinner."

"Bruce is, but yeah." You click on your phone, handing him the menu as you get cozy on the couch. 

Jason settles into a day to day with you, fingers interlaced with yours, placing grapes in your mouth as you rest, sigh breaking through your chest as you rest the book over your eyes.

"Tired?"

"Very." You hum. "How was your final?"

"I finished." He pulls another grape, pressing it to your lips as you part them to eat. "You're getting real lazy, sweetheart, you know that?"

"Yeah." You hum. "But you love me."

Jason pretends to think about it, tapping his chin as he puts the bowl down. "I don't know..."

"You're hand feeding me grapes and you're telling me you don't know if you love me?" You move the book from your eyes, raising a brow at him as you shuffle and lean on your elbows.. "Jason, beloved. If you tell me you don't know one more time I'm sending you straight to hell."

"By killing me?"

"Jay, baby?"

"Yes?"

"No." 

He reaches for the bowl again, breaking another grape off to give you.

"But you love me."

"Yeah, yeah." You sigh, taking the grape as Jason presses his lips to yours, giving you a quick kiss. You make a noise in protest.

"I love you more than words could express, sweetheart." He takes the last grape, slipping it past his own lips as you throw your head into the arm of the couch and groan.

"You cheeseball."

"Says the one who asked me out."

"I didn't even ask you out all that cheesily." 

"Yeah, but you asked me out."

"And you accepted it." You point. "Loser."

"Yeah, your loser."

"My loser." You sigh. 

[libbee]

Feeling Powerless in the 8th House?

Power is a strange thing. At first, it provokes the images of government, corporates, police, institutions, leaders in mind. On a personal level, it provokes images of parents, partner, inter-human relationships, schools, and even social media. Likes, reblogs, followers, public engagement give a sense of "power".

Power is not even a bad thing. It gives you competence, strength to get things done, self defence, self preservation and to live in society, you need power. Power is the child of socialization, how else will you get things done? How else will one survive in this world?

But where we do feel powerless is in the 8th house. "You are not in control of your life", this sentence alone is enough to create crisis in mind. That your relationships, goals, desires, personality, actions, intentions, thoughts, looks, luck, life story, fortune and misfortune, nothing is your own is a scary thing to realize. I cannot even afford to lose this tumblr account, let alone lose my identity, possessions and ego, then how can I happily surrender my power to the forces of the 8th house? If I don't have any power then I am as good as a dead body.

Ego v/s Powerlessness

8th house is like the reverse of everything you have been told by the society. Ever since my confrontation with this house, I feel like everything that is visible, written, told is a lie and only that is truth which is invisible, unwritten and untold. As soon as something is brought outside in the surface, it loses its truthfulness. No amount of spirituality and mysticism can explain the truth because it will not remain truth if it is brought to the surface. Everything that is brought to the surface is immediately influenced by the ego, vanity, narcissism, arrogance of the outside word. Bring a fish out of the ocean and it immediately dies. Its real place is inside the ocean. What belongs to the ocean be left in its original place. Then how do we know that the fish exist? We know because we "feel". 8th house is one of intuition (gut feelings and hunches) and feelings (that thing in your body that eats you alive). We "feel" love but as soon as try to describe that love it loses its truthfulness. You are now looking for the words, language, sentences to express your love and then you look for appreciation, acknowledgement, reciprocation and acceptance of your love. All this is vanity in a micro level.

Humility and Detachment

Okay guys, I am a humble person because I am self aware and talk about humility, so I am a down to earth and nice person, ok? But isn't it .... self-contradictory? 8th house teaches you real humility, the real thing that is not about self expression and preaching, it is about hiding yourself in the closet because you are really feeling humble. Ironically, we are a society that thrives on goals, aspirations and advancement then the 8th house is like the party pooper that tries to make you humble when all the other kids are being cool and dancing around. Not fair, sir, I hate such schools that don't treat all students equally and fairly. But 8th house is the teacher that chooses few students and teaches them real humility and brings them back to the track every time they go astray. This humility is strange because it is not in the words or performance or poetries; real humility is a thing that you know inside and then keep your lips closed because those who know don't need understanding and preaching, while those who are not there yet look for all kind of guidance and tuition. 8th house chooses its own students and they don't even know they are the chosen ones because there are no regular classes. Some days, everything seems normal, life is fine and then 8th house will summon you for emergency classes because you let something go to your head, you were vain and dishonest, you were selfish and acted against your conscience, so the teacher will call you back to the classroom and teach you real humility once again. 8th also has no notes and lessons, you are your own teacher, you will be just made to face your feelings, memories, behaviours, sometimes in isolation all alone for days or weeks, until you understand the pattern and interconnectedness of everything and change your behaviours for the future.

A Nobody in Nowhere

Even in the occult community, we have people who are egoistic, narcissists and vain, so why call out "others" when it is the humanity itself that is deeply entangled in the dirt of vanity. The other end of vanity is that you are a nobody in nowhere. If I completely surrender all my vanity then I close this account and never share my opinion on anything because conversations are impossible without some layers of ego. When two people sit and talk, they see each other's ego. Every time they open their mouths, it is their ego that speaks. It is just impossible to live a life without some ego, even if a thin layer of it. Writing this post is "my" assertion of "my" ego. And the silliest thing is that this enlightenment comes and goes, one minute one feels like they are finally enlightened and the next minute they are again confused. I think it is because there are 12 houses in a birth chart and there is more to life than what happens in 8th house alone. Whereas your 8th house may want you to surrender your ego, but your 1st house placements may want you to become a poster boy in your workplace. Two conflicting desires - To be somebody and To not be somebody. This is why self awareness and deep insights into your feelings will keep you sane here. It is a scary house when you are a newbie, but with enough training and understanding, it becomes the door to even greater understanding of 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th houses. These are the houses of the collective, greater, bigger than life and larger than an individual.

Still Feeling Powerless?

Me too. But I guess this is the challenge, to find a personal power deep within and to preserve it. Perhaps this is the reason why these natives sometimes get really spiritual, celibate and mystical. Because they preserve and protect their personal power against the world. To stand in the face of uncertainty and yet trust the patterns. To stare into the darkness and yet have scotopic vision. To get things done and yet surrender your power attitude. 8th house is like living in the dark nights when you were accustomed to living in the bright mornings and sunny afternoons. The only problem is to let go of the bitterness, resentment and frustration that comes with seeing other people still consumed in their illusions. But if we are to accept our own ignorance then we have to be tolerant with others as well, because knowledge itself is ignorance as they say. Perhaps the language of the unconscious is "silence" because the moment we start speaking all the demons and dangers of mind are summoned.

The journey to this realization comes in many ways. For me, it came from healing my childhood traumas and family inheritances of behaviours, thoughts, attitudes and emotions. "Dysfunctional family" but it turns out that there was this deeper meaning underneath all the dysfunction. Perhaps there is no such thing as "functional and healthy". Of course I am not romanticizing abuse at all. But it is surprising to see how healing childhood trauma leads to the point of spiritual path, it leads you to realize that the society as a whole is pretty dysfunctional and the only functional place is the underworld.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Kiera Butler at Mother Jones:

Earlier this month, former President Donald Trump held his first campaign rally as a convicted felon at Dream City Church in Phoenix, Arizona, hosted by the arch-conservative student group Turning Point USA. This wasn’t Trump’s first appearance at Dream City Church; he also held a rally there with Turning Point USA in 2020. For events like this, it’s an ideal venue: A weekly attendance of around 21,000 believers makes this one of the largest churches not just in Arizona but in the nation.

Dream City, which didn’t respond to my questions for this story, is a mecca for special guests who blur the line between religion and politics. Its annual conference has featured notables like musician and pastor Sean Feucht, who participated in a White House prayer session for President Trump in 2019 and is currently leading a tour of prayer rallies at state capitol buildings across the country. The lineup for this year’s event also included David Barton, whose organization, WallBuilders, teaches K-12 students about the supposed Christian origins of America; Jürgen Mathesius, a pastor at San Diego’s far-right Awaken Church, which has become a stop on Mike Flynn’s ReAwaken America tour; and Jentezen Franklin, a televangelist who also spoke at the 2022 Pray Vote Stand Summit, which mobilizes conservative Christian voters to engage in political activism.

In addition to its thrumming weekly worship sessions and its blockbuster events, the church has another project: Dream City Christian Academy. The K-12 private school, which serves nearly 800 students, is part of Turning Point USA’s Turning Point Academy program, a network of 41 schools that describes itself as “an educational movement that exists to glorify God and preserve the founding principles of the United States through influencing and inspiring the formation of the next generation.” Dream City Christian Academy promises to “Protect our campus from the infiltration of unethical agendas by rejecting all ‘woke’ and untruthful ideologies being pushed on students.” This politically charged approach to education likely isn’t for everyone—and because it’s a private school, it doesn’t have to be. Except for one thing: Dream City Christian Academy is one of a growing number of religious schools that are supported by public funds.

In 2022, Arizona became the first state in which all students are allowed to use state vouchers to cover a portion of tuition at any private school, secular or religious. Through Empowerment Scholarship Accounts, each participating family receives about 90 percent of the money the state would have spent on the child’s public school education—around $7,000 per student per year—for private school tuition. For the 2024-2025 school year, the Dream City Christian Academy annual tuition ranges from $10,450 in elementary school to $13,999 in high school—so families of the school’s nearly 800 students can use state funds to pay for between half and two-thirds of their tuition bill. Dream City Christian Academy received almost $1 million in tuition voucher money last year, the Arizona Republic recently reported.

Since Arizona passed its universal voucher law, 10 more states have followed suit. According to an analysis by Education Week, 29 states currently have programs that provide such assistance to a variety of different students many of whom attend local public schools that perform poorly. It also targets those with a disability that requires specialized education and those whose families earn significantly less than the federal poverty level. More programs are in the works: Lawmakers in both Louisiana and South Carolina recently advanced bills that would create programs like Arizona’s that are open to all students. When state funds are available for private school choice programs, a recent Washington Post analysis found that religious schools receive upwards of 90 percent of that money.

[...] A prerequisite for students and their families to attend some of the schools that currently receive voucher money is that they accept Jesus Christ as their lord and savior. In March, the education blog Notes from the Chalkboard highlighted one such school. Students attending North Carolina’s Daniel Christian Academy, are trained to “enter the Seven Mountains of Influence,” a main tenet of a Christian Nationalist movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation. Its adherents believe that the faithful are called to seek Christian control of the “seven mountains” of society: family, education, media, government, business, arts & entertainment, and religion. Many New Apostolic Reformation followers believe that waging “spiritual warfare” is justified in achieving these goals, though Daniel Christian Academy specifies that its endorsement of the Seven Mountains Mandate “in no way includes violence or manipulation at any level.”

Americans United for Separation of Church and State’s Laser worries that the proliferation of private school voucher programs will open the door to even more permissive rules around the use of public education dollars to teach religion. She points to a suite of bills that would allow public schools to employ chaplains, and even more remarkably, to an Oklahoma Catholic school called St. Isidore of Seville, which is set to become the nation’s first Christian public charter school this fall. The overarching goal of these initiatives, she says, is to “bestow a power and privilege on Christians in our country, at the expense of all the other religions in America.” Meanwhile, public education is robbed  “of the funding that it’s entitled to.”

Mother Jones reports on the disturbing trend of Christian Nationalists opening taxpayer-funded private schools with the intention to indoctrinate students with right-wing politics and a Christian Nationalist worldview.

[wttcsms]

i love your writing every time i read a post i know it’s going to permanently engrave itself into my brain 😌 i’m studying accounting rn (rip) and i’m nosy but did you go the route of cpa/big 4 or did something different? i’m kinda nervous if i don’t go into public accounting but it sounds horrific and wanted to know other people’s experience 😭 sorry if that’s too personal

i did something different haha. i recently graduated with my master’s in accounting and im now going to begin studying for the cpa exam and take my first section (FAR) at the beginning of 2025. im in a very specialized/niche field of auditing, not necessarily by choice LOL. i actually received a fellowship with the entity i am working with now and so they paid for my entire grad school tuition (including books and other fees) and in return, i work for them for the next two years. truthfully, i don’t think big 4 is worth it. back when i was in undergrad, i didn’t go the usual public accounting route bc that simply did not seem like the vibe. i actually went and got a junior year internship w jp morgan (private banking division) & what i learned is that accounting is so versatile. you are eligible for so many jobs within the finance field, accounting is a very technical subject and it comes in handy bc lots of finance jobs (corporate, at least) have to spend time understanding financial statements.

before i graduated with my bachelor’s, i also received two job offers that weren’t public accounting. both were financial analyst roles, one was with a&f (so working corporate for a fashion brand) and the other was with lockheed martin (weapons manufacturing) so two completely industries yet they both wanted me, which goes to show how far you can go with an accounting degree and i will say that they paid very well in comparison to what the starting salary of big 4 is.

this isn’t me shitting on big 4 but i think there’s so much emphasis in universities that this is the optimal route and it really isn’t. you can think abt any major company or brand and i promise you, they need people to work as an internal auditor or as a financial analyst or someone who works within accounting/finance. several of those positions, esp for entry-level/new graduates, won’t even require a cpa or cpa eligibility.

all that to say, i actually want to go an even more insane route and pursue academia, so im really focused on phd applications starting next year :)

[cloudiistudies]

— 115 Days of New Me 🌊

find my entries under the tag #115 days ☁️

My Goals

work out, build muscle

gain weight healthily

study like my life depends on it

work hard and memorize my script for work

take better care of my hair, skin, and body

make new friends

learn to be outgoing

save for tuition/moving out in 2026

get better part time work (i work as a tour guide :P)

level up my wardrobe

do something creative every day

Summary + reasoning under the cut

I recently went through a breakup (◎ ◎)ゞ this is my way of getting back at him— through self improvement. I always compared us and felt like he was too good for me, so this is my way of showing myself that I am good enough and even better than him.

I want to take better care of my health, glow up by treating my skin, hair and body right, and level up my wardrobe so I’m not still wearing clothes I bought when I was 14!!

I chose 115 days instead of 100 because this challenge will end right as my semester ends at school, so I can spend winter break looking back at my progress ( ˘ω˘ )

I am not taking any language classes because I satisfied my GE requirement, so I will continue to study and hopefully improve my Japanese. I also want to pick up some more conlangs!!

I also want to work hard and get a new job- I hate my job as a tour guide. I want to get a job with more hours so that I can save up for tuition, because I plan on putting myself through college and my PHD. Ambitious, I know, but I know I can do it.

I am currently attending community college so I have 2 years free where I can save! However, I also want to move out of my house, which means more expenses in 2026. All the more reason to work hard.

Please join me on this journey! I will post a short entry every day about my progress. You can help keep me accountable!!!

[otakusparkle]

Hmm... I was wondering if I can sold (or maybe someone will buy) my Nikke account

Everyone is still build-able because I only play for the event story

I rarely play champaign if it's not for diamond

I have almost everyone, Nihilister is still on the way (like really close, just do her daily mission and you'll get her)

I have everyone in the Abnormal except for Power CSM. The reason is because I don't really like her that much, I prefer Makima 😔

I have everyone in Pilgrim except Dorothy because I waste all of my ticket and diamonds for Nero 😭😭😭

Nikkes are very easy to come home (except Nero 💀, unfortunately my waifu)

It's veteran account because I play it since beta and the first release

The level are already 200+

I never even once pay for the game, the Nikkes come easily (except Nero)

The reason why I want to sell it, is because I'm already busy with irl and also IDV have way too many event nowadays so I will only focusing for Identity V (especially Eli Clark). Also most of my friends are in Honkai and Genshin fandom so... Yeah. It's not that fun when I can't ramble about Nikke 😭😭😭

Also because I need money for my college, helping my parents 🙏 (Don't worry, me and my parents are okay. I just wanna help them paying my tuition and such)

I play in Japan server because they have more free diamonds code there 🙏

I'll be selling my account with $500 and I'll be using PayPal for the payment

Thank you in advance and for anyone who bought my account, please take care of all my girls there 🥺🙏🩷

(Reblog and share are very appreciated 🙇‍♀️)

[sabakos]

Hm, on one hand your post irritates me because I did pretty poorly in my STEM degree but unequivocally Learned Things, but on the other hand I would have definitely Learned More Things if I didn't have to come up with thousands of dollars every year for tuition and transportation. Don't you think failing everyone who gets a C- or less is a bit extreme?

This might have been specific to my experience or to physics rather than all of STEM, but the people who were getting a C- weren't getting a 70% on all of their exams, everything in upper level classes was necessarily graded on a curve. Which is the correct way to do it imo, it's hard to design an exam so that people who "know" the material all score exactly in the 70-100% range on the exam. Usually this is accomplished by erring on the side of challenging the students more rather than less, where 50% or so of the material on the exam is something you expect anyone would know, and the remainder is more challenging and requires an actual synthesis and understanding of the material, and often this gets you a nice distribution. But sometimes the professor messes up and they need to salvage an exam that was accidentally too challenging, where the class average was in the 60s. I even had an E&M exam that was so hard the professor refused to tell us anything beyond "none of you got a passing grade so I'm not counting it." So despite the appearance of numerical data, evaluation is a lot less of an exact science than one might expect!

But to illustrate the point, we had the opposite problem happen once with a newer professor, he accidentally screwed up and made the (take home!) midterm so easy in senior-level Intro to Quantum Mechanics that the median score was 100. This was, admittedly, complicated by the fact that due to our program's research specialties in AMO meant that at least a handful of us already knew everything there was to learn in that class before we took it. But despite this median score, which was achieved by more than just the kids who already knew the material, the lower mode of people still scored poorly! So there wasn't really much to do other than make the final nigh-impossible, which meant that all of those C and D kids failed to graduate on time anyway and had to "retake" quantum the next year when the curve would be more forgiving. I'm skeptical from having talked to and worked with many of them that they actually learned anything beyond intro physics.

However, I am probably being somewhat unfair in ways I don't realize due to, quite frankly, immense privilege. I came into college with two years worth of credit from AP exams and still took a full courseload and graduated in four, not only summa cum laude, but #2 in my class, despite basically taking no freshman and barely any sophomore-level classes to pad my GPA with. I thrived on the stress and conflict of test-taking and laughed (while still crying) about take-home exams that could and did take an entire weekend. I took the Putnam exam "for fun" my sophomore year and got a 10, beating all the math majors who took it that year. I was an obnoxious asshole about all of this, which I should probably regret more than I do. But by all accounts this means I'm the entirely wrong person to know what causes people to struggle with exams even if they do know the material. Throw sharp and heavy things at me, I probably deserve it.

But despite all that... I still feel that I didn't learn all of the physics as well as I probably should have? Many of those curves were strongly weighted in my favor because I happened to be the first or second highest score, which meant I got basically the same final grade in a class whether I slacked off a bit or not. And yeah, I think part of it is that Physics is really hard, and a four-year undergrad program with rigidly scheduled exams is not going to be remotely accessible or accommodating to anyone with a severe disability or extenuating life circumstances.

But when it's the same kids every semester who are barely passing, I think that at some point you have to say that even if the system *is* fundamentally broken and unfair, it's both of those things in a way where the people it's failed really haven't learned anything and so shouldn't receive a degree saying they have? Possibly they often don't even know what they don't know? I think that most physics classes form roughly discrete packets of curriculum, but as someone who has written and scored exams, I don't think 70% on an exam doesn't imply that even close to 70% of the knowledge was mastered. I'm not sure that any exam I took was ever that comprehensive, and I don't think that "learned some things" rather than nothing is really enough to cut it.

[rakeshraseo321]

POA Tuition Singapore

Are you searching for the best tuition in Singapore? Many students need help understanding accounting concepts, but anyone can become an expert in the field with the correct instruction. Aceyourpoa specializes in offering top-notch Principles of Accounts (POA) instruction in Singapore to assist students in achieving academic success. You can visit our official website to learn more about our outstanding tuition services and our teachers. 

[cassowary-rapture]

Oh. I knew the schools participating in the NC Promise program capped in-state tuition at $500/semester, but apparently they have discounted out-of-state tuition, too ($2,500/semester)!

I don't know if that actually matters since kind of the main thing for me is dental and health insurance for dental work and ADHD treatment. Particularly the latter since I know from experience that I cannot handle college without ADHD medication

But still. Pretty cool!

I don't know. I guess if I really want to do this I could take out loans to cover...housing? Idk. If I could get on medication and get established re: petsitting I wouldn't need it, really. Rent is cheap in/around the closest NC Promise school (Fayetteville). I could get Medicaid and food stamps

Anyway I have decided on accounting. There are more appealing majors but not more appealing careers, really. Partly because I really, really like working from home. I could definitely do that with an accounting degree. Maybe not immediately, but after a year or two. Or immediately? I've been working from home for like a decade so maybe it would be easier for me to find a remote position than other recent grads

Entry-level positions pay ~$50k/year and I'm used to living on $20k/year or less, so while it would be nice to avoid taking out loans, I could pay them off quickly once I got a job

Oh god it's the last day to apply without having to pay a $50 application fee and I'm stuck on the personal statement. Time to go on about how fucking obsessive I am while avoiding actually using the word "obsessive" because that would probably make me sound a bit unhinged lol

Also I guess I'm applying to attend starting in January??? Which is very soon??? But I can't think of a good reason to put it off and that is really enough time. I think

They do have an online program but I am terrible at online classes. Well, the programming class I took was totally fine. I think pre-calc trig might've been fine if it'd been a normal class vs. an accelerated summer semester one. But the other four were really bad

I guess I could try it for spring semester and if it went poorly, I could move to attend in person? I don't know but that would be a bit less drastic than taking out a $20k loan and moving states

But I can't afford healthcare here and I need ADHD medication for this. I guess I could stay here and take out a loan to cover treatment? That would certainly be cheaper

Ugh whatever. I guess I'll put the online program as my first choice, the in-person one as my second and figure it out later

Edit: Done!

[eaglesnick]

“The world is governed by very different personages from what is imagined by those who are not behind the scenes.”

Benjamin Disraeli

When the nation overwhelmingly voted the Conservative government out of office they did not expect to be electing Tony Blaire as Prime Minister, but that is exactly what they have done. Sir Keir Starmer may be fronting the new Labour government but it is Tony Blair who is Prime Minister behind the scenes.

The signs were there a year ago for all to see. The Financial Times reported that Starmer had told them:

“Labour should stop trashing Tony Blair - a hate figure for many on the Labour left - especially after pushing the UK into the Iraq war. ‘We have to be proud of that record in government and not be arm’s length about it.’ “ (FT: 07/06/23)

In December the same year we have this headline:

“The moment Keir Starmer revealed himself to be a hardcore Blairite”. (Independent: 12/12/23)

The Blairite government of 1997- 2008 did some good things. Sure Start and adequate funding for the NHS are the most frequently cited examples of good Labour policies. But his list of failures is greater.

He tore up the principle of free university education at the point of delivery and introduced tuition fees. Thanks to Blaire:

Almost 1.8m people owe £50,000 or more in student debt” (BBC News:  02/07/24)

That is a collective student debt of £90,000,000,000.

Blair’s legacy of economic mismanagement goes further and has affected all of us. In 1997, when Blair was elected to office, average income was £15,000 a year, while the average house price was £65,000. When Blair left office in 2007, the average wage had risen to £20,000, but the average house now cost £190,000. In short, under Blair, house prices nearly trebled in price while wages only increased by a third.

The sad fact is, Blair, like governments before and after him, failed to make housing a priority and we are all suffering the price of that policy decision today in the form of a chronic housing shortage, unaffordable rents, and property prices beyond the reach of the vast majority of the population.  

At the same time as house prices were rocketing, the Blair government presided over a massive fall in industrial output. Investment Monitor (24/11/20) reported that manufacturing:

 …”declined in importance with regard to its role within the British economy faster under Blair than under any previous prime minister. The industry accounted for more than 20% of GDP in 1997; by 2007 – when Blair left Number 10 to be replaced by Gordon Brown – this had fallen to 12.4%, and when Labour were voted out of office in 2010 the figure was 10%.

More importantly, when Blair came to power in 1997, income inequality, after years of Thatcherite policies, was at historically high levels, and relative poverty was on the increase. Despite 11 years of a Blairite Labour government ordinary working people saw little change in their economic position, yet under Blaire the rich and wealthy flourished.

“Income inequality changed little...those on relatively low incomes did a little better than those with incomes just above average. However, those right at the top saw their incomes increase very substantially with the result that, on most measures, overall inequality nudged up slightly.”  (Institute for Fiscal Studies: 2013)

In short, under Blairite policies the rich became richer at the expense of ordinary working families.

The Labour Party came into existence to better the lot of working class families. This goal was written down in Clause 4 of the Labour Party Constitution part of which states:

“To secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry and the most equitable distribution thereof that may be possible upon the basis of the common ownership of the means of production..."

Implicit in the notion of “common ownership” is the equal distribution of the wealth generated by those commonly owned industries. This was one of the binding principles of the Labour Party up until 1995 when Tony Blaire tore up this socialist, egalitarian ideal and replaced it with a bland statement that amounted to little more than a wish list but no clear indication how those wishes were to be achieved. Gone was the commitment to secure for workers just wages, gone was the commitment to nationalization, and gone was the Labour Party's commitment to socialism.

Twelve years after leaving office, Margaret Thatcher was asked what she considered to be her greatest achievement and is famously reported to have replied: "Tony Blaire and New Labour". What she meant by this is that Tony Blaire had abandoned Labours historical commitment to socialism and greater economic equality, and had instead adopted her philosophy of minimum state protection for workers, the pursuit of corporate profit at any cost, the deregulation of the financial industry and the privatisation of  public assets.

What resulted was the financial crash of 2008, a massive housing shortage as public bodies were no longer allowed to build houses, the gradual erosion of workers pay while the rich became even richer, and national assets such as water and railways being run for private profit rather than providing a decent public service.

Starmer will pursue the same policies as Blaire because he is an unashamed Blairite: This was Sky news headline on 23/05/23:

“Sir Keir Starmer promises his Labour reform will be like Tony Blair's Clause IV 'on steroids'

So next time you look at our new Prime Minister remember who is the puppet master and who the puppet.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Preston Cooper

Published: May 8, 2024

Key Points

This report estimates return on investment (ROI) — how much college increases lifetime earnings, minus the costs of college — for 53,000 different degree and certificate programs.

Bachelor’s degree programs have a median ROI of $160,000, but the payoff varies by field of study. Engineering, computer science, nursing, and economics degrees have the highest ROI.

Associate degree and certificate programs have variable ROI, depending on the field of study. Two-year degrees in liberal arts have no ROI, while certificates in the technical trades have a higher payoff than the typical bachelor’s degree.

Nearly half of master’s degree programs leave students financially worse off. However, professional degrees in law, medicine, and dentistry are extremely lucrative.

Around a third of federal Pell Grant and student loan funding pays for programs that do not provide students with a return on investment.

Executive Summary

In recent years, young Americans have expressed more skepticism about the financial value of higher education. While prospective students often ask themselves if college is worth it, this report shows the more important question is when college is worth it.

This report presents estimates of return on investment (ROI) for 53,000 degree and certificate programs ranging from trade schools to medical schools and everything in between. I define ROI as the increase in lifetime earnings that a student can expect when they enroll in a certain degree program, minus the costs of tuition and fees, books and supplies, and lost earnings while enrolled. My preferred measure of ROI accounts for the risk that some students will not finish their programs.

This report updates FREOPP’s previous research on ROI, utilizing new data from the U.S. Department of Education’s College Scorecard.

The findings show that college is worth it more often than not, but there are key exceptions. ROI for the median bachelor’s degree is $160,000, but that median belies a wide range of outcomes for individual programs. Bachelor’s degrees in engineering, computer science, nursing, and economics tend to have a payoff of $500,000 or more. Other majors, including fine arts, education, English, and psychology, usually have a smaller payoff — or none at all.

Alternatives to the traditional four-year degree produce varied results. Undergraduate certificates in the technical trades tend to have a stronger ROI than the median bachelor’s degree. However, many other subbaccalaureate credentials — including associate degrees in liberal arts or general education — have no payoff at all. Field of study is the paramount consideration at both the baccalaureate and subbaccalaureate levels.

The ROI of graduate school is also mixed. Professional degrees in law, medicine, and dentistry tend to have a strong payoff, often in excess of $1 million. However, nearly half of master’s degree programs have no ROI, thanks to their high costs and often-modest earnings benefits. Even the MBA, one of America’s most popular master’s degrees, frequently has a low or negative payoff.

The report introduces a new metric — the mobility index — to quantify the aggregate financial impact of each degree or certificate program. The mobility index multiplies each program’s ROI by the number of students it enrolls, thus rewarding programs for both financial value and inclusivity. Bachelor’s degrees in nursing and business administration dominate the top ranks of the mobility index.

Finally, the report estimates how much federal government funding flows to programs that leave students with no ROI. Around 29 percent of federal Pell Grant and student loan dollars over the last five years were used at programs that leave students with a negative ROI. The results point to a role for federal policymakers in improving the ROI of higher education.

While ROI should not be the only consideration for students approaching the college decision, the ROI estimates presented in this report can help students and their families make better choices regarding higher education. The estimates may also be of interest to other stakeholders, including policymakers, researchers, journalists, and institutions.

The full ROI estimates for undergraduate programs are available here. The full ROI estimates for graduate programs are available here.

[ Continued... ]

==

The article includes an interactive graph which allows you to choose from various majors and find the ROI. Some samples.

Controversial opinion: While there may be an argument to waiving or subsidizing college loans for courses that strongly benefit society, no program with a negative ROI should ever be given loan forgiveness or federal funding.

If you want to study Ancient Mesopotamian Interpretive Dance - or even more uselessly, Gender Studies - for your own pleasure and enjoyment, that's your business. And your financial responsibility; the bill for that resides with you. As far as society and our tax dollars are concerned, forgiving that loan or funding that course is just setting fire to money.

Reminder that you may be better off at a trade school. Courses are often shorter, more targeted and cheaper, so you end up working quicker, earning money more rapidly and have a lower debt that's paid off sooner.

[dojae-huh]

Just saw the JH "mistreatment" post and it's kinda funny? OP uses "other member" a lot of times but who is the member that has solo debut around the same time with him and has the exact solo date? Why do fans need BTS of photoshoot that much when it has nearly zero promotional value? Not all idol's photoshot has that content too. All the other things can be used universally for all members. The real question here: Who is NOT mistreated by SM if fans consider these thingd mistreatment? I'm okay with fans complaining but at least make it make sense.

Ngl I find it's super funny whenever I see a TYf complaining about "mistreatment" and I'm sure all normal Kpop fans feel the same. Another thing is that Idk why fans like the idea of idols leaving their company that much. How can they be sure the new one will be better? And can they be sure that their idols will receive the same level of treatment?

I had many a post on these two topics.

Complaining, venting is natural. Many people don't really mean what they say. For some, saying stuff out loud (in this case: writing down) helps to get rid of emotions or process them and move on. The problem on X is that one's account is not a small hole with a limited number of readers who know you how it used to be with LiveJournal, Facebook, even Tumblr to a degree. Every cough can be noticed by everwatchful eyes and given big importance.

Secondly, people copy others. Unconciously fans follow "the culture". And even those who normally wouldn't blame or complain, start to be sensitive as well. They are explained in detail how and in what way they should be offended for their bias, heh. Danger! Danger! Have you heard? Have you heard? Your bias is under attack! Hurry! Make haste! Be alarmed and panic! - Oh My God! What happened? Tell me what happened? - Awful things happened! SM didn't post about a future movie release half a year ago! Your bias suffers so much!

Fans project a lot and don't think things through, don't think about the bigger picture. It's very one layer for many. Sometimes it is nesessary to show people working behind the scenes for fans to realise that "huh, there other people than my bias who do work?".

SM is very messy internally, it's poorly organised, the work is not structured well, a lot of miscommunications among departments and responsible people. As I came to understand it is not SM's trait per ser. It is Korean reality. Moving buildings won't change the country. Going to a new company can be a better option for some artists but not for every case.

Fans like to pretend that their idols make themselves. In part it is true. Only those who want things and ask for them, get them in SM. However, it is SM that paid for their education (gave full scholarship with tuition and dormitory covered), debut and promotion (loaned them money for their start up, media coverage, and tolerated losses for several years), in many cases found them brand deals (side gigs in laboratories and institutes) and additional jobs like MC/model (gave them internships in other companies through connections).

Those who enter workforce know that most companies want either graduates from most prestigious unis (fancy diplomas) or 3-5 years of experience. Noone wants to teach a newbie from scratch, cover losses (from lower initial productivity, mistakes, broken things), invest in him both out of greed and in fear of losing the investment (when the employee leaves for another company).

Recently news broke about Hybe approaching and trying to pouch every SM employee from the creative department. Why look for new talents, wait till they mature, gain experience, when you just can buy them by offering higher salaries? Hybe does the same with staffing their groups. They don't raise trainees, don't pay for 4-5 years of vocal and dance lessons, they lure in already talented in something idol wannabees from other companies or areas. Or simply buy new groups (like 17).

Taeyong. Heh. A rose in a glasshouse. He is a rose, he is the one who has talents, but a rose that won't grow outside among weeds and pests.

[omshantiomyoga]

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[meditating-dog-lover]

Pushing myself

I''m on vacation in Cyprus right now and am happy and relaxed. I really like it here. I have the chance to relax and be at ease. It feels nostalgic here because it reminds me of the happy days I had living in the Middle East as a child minus the childhood trauma. I had a good trip there last week, but the trauma never leaves unfortunately. Cyprus is a simple and relaxing country. I love the streets, the weather, the warm people, the food (especially the fish) and cafes, the beaches, the small shops, the Christmas villages and decor. People here are also nice and the country is very safe (I go out for walks late at night as a woman and I feel very safe). People here are religious but without the fanaticism and backwardness. I may be an American but I'm open to other people's cultures and chatted with people here (mostly the cops) and they have this warm traditional personality (traditional as in an elder giving you wise advice, not traditional as in bigoted and close minded). That's also something I love. It's completely different from my "traditional" aunt who asked me who cooks for my dad and got surprised when I told her I want to establish a career before I get married. It's like talking to an adult who is wise and cares for you. So overall I like it here and am relaxed.

This is what brings me peace in my life. Being on my own in a relaxing area, especially by a beach or a nice Mediterranean village, drinking coffee or eating European style pizza, going out for walks, journaling, and being around warm people brings me peace. Even running my own small business. Or enjoying the night life with a lover either in a nice city or street or a nice hotel room. Away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, tension, materialism, large crowds of people, and stress.

I get to spend time with my dad who has become extremely relaxed and laid back compared to how he was when we were growing up. He used to be strict and yell at us and even hit us. It's not excusable and I have no doubt in my mind that my grandmother made him extremely stressed and on edge. So he took it out on us. Those "dad's side of the family" memes perfectly apply to us unfortunately. I don't hate his family, I get along with them. But I know they have their own deep complexities I absolutely do not want to get involved in and they drove my dad crazy (and me too!). But I am free now and my dad gives me a lot of freedom because I am an adult and very responsible. He even encourages me to go out for late night walks and he lets me do whatever I want without controlling or worrying about me. So I no longer have to be a part of their mess. But my dad is in a great mood and we sit in the TV room together watching the news and Smurfs and Angry Birds (this is his taste in movies). It reminds me of the good old days before college. He also convinced me to try intermittent fasting, which was nice given that we were not raised on healthy foods and habits.

So overall the trauma is still there, but it doesn't impact me as much because I am free and on my own now. In the US with a good job and a nice house with 2 beautiful dogs. No one controls my money and expenses. No one has access to my bank account, nor my phone or laptop. I'm free and independent.

I get pretty stressed when I'm in the US over work and expenses. Feeling like I am so behind in life because I just started working and am working an entry level position. Also worried about money and if I come across a day where I am broke in the future. I know my parents have money and will never leave me without any sense of security (for all my dad's faults he is very financially responsible and never left us hungry or homeless and paid for out college tuition). Thanks to him I have never been in debt. But I know I am doing a great job even though I am young. I am responsible and eager to learn more.

I had the misconception that I am only academically smart as opposed to life smart. I am a cell biologist and worked hard in school and college to be where I am. It was absolutely worth it. However I'm still working on gaining life lesson, but I need to tell myself that I already have a lot of that.

According to City Personnel: "Book smart people have a lot of knowledge and can excel in school, but they don't handle real-world situations well. On the other hand, street smart people may not know much about books and tests, but they're experts at handling every situation that comes their way". I used to worry that despite having book smarts, I felt like I lacked life smarts (or street smarts) because I felt I didn't know how to handle real world issues. Especially someone like me who has anxiety. These include skills in career, finances, health, relationships and dating, and whatever life throws at you in general. These include valuable lessons worth knowing despite not having a complete education path nor the most academically leaning job. For example, my aunt is a college drop out and works as a waitress but has a lot of street smarts. And she's doing perfectly fine in life despite "college dropouts are losers" which is a total myth. If you have a PhD in engineering yet you cannot establish social skills, emotional intelligence, financial stability, then I don't think this guarantees a fully successful life.

I'm still learning in life and am doing great. And I need to stop pressuring myself. But again I do have concerns over (a) being deficient in life skills and (b) worrying about finances. Things will be okay, though.