#a wild starter has appeared ))

[collaredsoldat]

Gentle Hand.

summary: Soldat has a panic attack.

warnings: Post!HYDRA Winter Soldier | Post!HTP and abuse | PTSD symptoms & behavior | Panic attacks | Brief medical treatments | Flashbacks of HTP | Past dehumanization | Brief mention of SA

a/n: This was supposed to be posted before the other one I just posted, but I got impatient lol. So it might sound a little out of order, once I have all these parts out I'll put them in order. He's getting through it, you're being patient. Unedited. ;; wc: 3.4k

There were a lot of complicated things with Soldat.

Significant complications with his health, for starters, which caught you off guard given his status as a super soldier. You had initially assumed that his enhanced physiology would grant him a far greater resilience compared to an ordinary human, as had been proven with the likes of Steve Rogers. However, the treatment from HYDRA had somehow managed to infiltrate his system so profoundly and extensively that it had wreaked havoc on his entire physiological makeup, leaving him in a severely compromised state.

The issue of malnourishment was addressed through a carefully planned regimen of intravenous treatments, much to Soldat’s dislike. This approach was complemented by a gradual reintroduction to solid foods, a process that required meticulous attention and patience. The goal was to slowly accustom his system to regular nutrient intake without overwhelming his weakened digestive tract. Not to mention the fact that Soldat often refused food or that his body simply could not handle it, even in small amounts.

Honestly, re-feeding him was a whole other problem you had to tackle.

A similar strategy was employed to combat his severe dehydration and restore proper fluid balance. You also noticed that he experienced significant difficulty in swallowing, a symptom that hinted at potential damage to his esophageal tract or neurological complications affecting his ability to consume liquids normally.

Then, there were the myriad of wounds that covered his body. Stubborn injuries that had been persisting for a duration that far exceeded your initial expectations and caused you considerable worry. You found a small measure of solace in the fact that the majority of these injuries, while numerous, consisted primarily of superficial cuts and bruising.

Treating these wounds was far from easy. His behavior during treatment sessions mirrored a cornered wild animal, skittish and unpredictable, making each attempt at care a delicate and often extremely stressful. You didn’t want to stress him any further than he probably was in a stranger’s home, with a stranger, but you needed to at the very least keep the wounds from bleeding everywhere.

He lashed out at you with his metal arm, swinging wildly without any real force behind it. You could instantly discern that his actions were driven by sheer terror rather than malice. His eyes were wide with panic, darting frantically around the room, and it was evident that he wasn't actively trying to cause you harm. As you approached with the antiseptic and gauze, he bared his teeth in a defensive snarl and let out a feral hiss, his metal arm swinging once more in a desperate attempt to keep you at bay.

He had backed himself into the corner of your bathroom, the face he couldn’t go anywhere was frightening him just as much as you were. "Easy there, Soldat," you murmured, your voice steady and reassuring. "You're not scaring me. These wounds need to be cleaned and treated." Your words were calm and gentle, but they seemed to do little to soothe his frayed nerves.

In another display of agitation, he swung his arm downward, connecting with your tile floor. The impact was forceful enough to shatter the tiles into several jagged pieces, the sound of breaking ceramic echoing through the room. He fixed you with a glare that was clearly meant to be intimidating, but you could see right through it. His expression was a forced mask of hatred, a poor attempt at appearing dangerous. He was trying so hard to maintain this façade of aggression, but his fear was as obviously visible beneath the surface.

"Listen, Soldat," you said, your voice taking on a firmer yet still compassionate tone. "If you really wanted to harm me, we both know you would have done so by now. Your behavior isn't fooling either of us." You gestured to his injuries, your expression softening. "Now, please, let me tend to these wounds. If we don't bandage them soon, you're going to end up bleeding all over the place. That can't be comfortable for you. And I would really appreciate it if you didn't stain my carpet..."

His face held a stubborn, forced scowl, but also an undeniable air of resignation. He relaxed at your approach, albeit marginally, allowing you to come closer. Sharp, audible breaths exited his nostrils in rapid succession, betraying his lingering apprehension. You knew he was tense so you offered reassurance, "You're alright, I promise this won't hurt. We just need to take care of these."

Your words seemed to have enough of a calming effect as you carefully began tending to him, finally able to assess and treat his injuries. As the moments passed and he realized your true intentions were solely to help, not harm, his demeanor shifted. He became increasingly receptive to your ministrations as each cleaning session came, and he allowed you to clean his wounds and change his gauze without resistance.

But there was one thing you couldn't help but notice, and it was perhaps the biggest hurdle of them all. An almost violent aversion to certain actions and decisions.

To the outside eye, they appeared completely random, and they did to you too. At first.

Soldat refrained from doing anything, no matter how mundane, without first seeking your explicit permission. Something as simple as taking a seat or reaching for a glass of water seemed to require your approval.

At first this behavior confused you, but as you observed him more closely, you started to understand a little but more. HYDRA, while you knew very little of his experiences, did a number on his psyche. He was grappling with intense internal struggles, and in an attempt to cope with his sudden freedom, he was projecting his deep-seated need for structure and guidance onto you. By relinquishing control over even the most basic decisions, he seemed to find a semblance of comfort and stability.

This realization left you with mixed emotions.

On one hand, you felt a twinge of discomfort at being thrust into this unexpected role of authority. The weight of his dependence on your decisions was not something you had anticipated or necessarily desired.

Yet, on the other hand, you couldn't deny the visible relief and calm that washed over him when operating within these self-imposed boundaries. Witnessing how this dynamic seemed to provide him with a sense of security and ease, you found yourself reluctantly gave into.

Despite your internal reservations, you knew that this arrangement was serving as a crucial coping mechanism for him during what was clearly a difficult time, even if it had begun from something awful. So, setting aside your own discomfort, you made the conscious decision to lean into this role, at least for now.

Your primary concern was his well-being, and if this is what he needed to feel safe and begin healing, then you were willing to adapt and provide that structure for him.

His comfort level around you was noticeably increasing with each passing day. Gradually, he began to emerge from the bedroom where he had initially isolated himself, seeking out your company in subtle ways.

Your presence seemed to have a calming effect on him, acting as a source of reassurance in his new environment. He made a conscious effort to be in the same room as you, his actions betraying a growing desire for proximity.

He maintained a considerable distance for a while, positioning himself at the far end of whatever space you occupied. He often watched you, or sometimes he’d allow himself to nap, he never spoke. You chose to ignore him most of the time, not wanting to give him too much attention and spook him away.

Time progressed and you noticed a slow but steady shift in his behavior. Like a cautious animal gradually acclimating to a new habitat, he inched closer to you day by day. He continued his gradual migration until he finally felt secure enough to position himself right beside you.

One particularly lazy afternoon, he slowly made his way towards you, his steps heavy with hesitation. Upon reaching the living area, he carefully lowered himself onto the floor adjacent to the couch, his eyes fixed downward on the carpet. Eventually, his gaze lifted, settling on the television screen. He watched the program you had selected, you couldn't help but notice a glimmer of curiosity dancing behind his eyes, his engagement slowly growing with his surroundings.

You had tried many different offers and encouragement, but he refused to make use of any furniture in the house. The comfortable couch remained untouched by him, and the inviting bed you prepared for him went unused night after night. He had ripped the blankets off and curled up on the floor instead.

His reluctance to using the couch and the bed made you start to think. Had he been conditioned to believe that he wasn't allowed to use something as basic as furniture?

You remained silent, not uttering a single word as you observed him sitting there, seemingly without any discomfort. After a moment of hesitation, you decided to break the silence. "You know, you're more than welcome to sit up here with me," you suggested, your voice soft and kind. His head lifted ever so slightly in response to your words, his eyes glancing at you from under the bits of hair that fell over his face.

The soldier's gaze met yours, his eyes filled with a mixture of doubt and confusion. His frown deepened, etching lines across his forehead as if your words were spoken in a foreign tongue he couldn't quite decipher. You gently patted the empty cushion to your left, emphasizing your point. "Really, you can sit up here if you'd like," you reiterated, your tone warm and encouraging, hoping to dispel any lingering uncertainty he might have.

Several minutes pass and he doesn't budge.

You decide to just let him sit there if he wants to, observing his actions without comment. You didn't want to make him do something he didn't want to do anyway. So you turned your attention back to the show playing on the screen, watching she shitty adult cartoon full of jokes and clichés. But you had to admit, it was pretty funny. You felt something beside you, the subtle shift in the couch's cushions as his silver prosthetic makes contact. The furniture dips ever so slightly as the soldier cautiously lowers himself onto it.

His movements are painfully slow and deliberate, as if he's treading on eggshells, anticipating that you might suddenly change your mind or lash out at him at any moment. When he finally settles, his posture is noticeably stiff and unnatural, not to mention his obvious aversion to sitting flat on his ass like a normal person. His wounds and injuries were brutal, and you knew he didn't like to sit often. But right now it seemed like he was forcing himself to do so.

The discomfort radiates from him, filling the air with tension. He sits ramrod straight, muscles visibly taut beneath his clothing, and his eyes are wider than you've ever seen them, pupils dilated and darting around the room. It's as if he's desperately searching for potential threats or escape routes, his entire being on high alert. The sight reminds you of a cornered animal, teetering on the edge of fight-or-flight, barely containing the urge to bolt from the room at the slightest provocation.

"Soldat, it's alright. You're safe here. You can sit here, I said you could," you said in a gentle, reassuring tone, attempting to alleviate his visible anxiety. Your voice was recited soft and steady, hoping to create a calming atmosphere. Soldat still tensed up as you adjusted your position. His reaction was immediate and he recoiled as though anticipating a blow, his body language screaming of deep-seated fear.

His breathing became erratic, each inhale and exhale a struggle. His hands trembled and gripped the cushion with such force that the knuckles on his flesh hand turned white. It was clear he was desperately trying to maintain his composure in what he perceived as a threatening situation. The sight of his internal struggle tugged at your heart, you couldn’t believe something as simple as sitting on the couch could cause him to be this distressed.

‘Assets sit on the floor!’ A heavily armored combat boot collided with its nose, it heard a crack, felt the warmth of thick red ooze running down its face and throat, tasting the metallic flavored substance. The rusty tar. ‘Try to get up here again, and I will chain you up to that fucking stump outside. See if you can withstand below zero all night.’

Its handler really hated when it sat on the furniture. Used a bed. Used a chair. Its handler liked to threaten and hurt it.

He liked it to sit at his feet, like a good asset should. Be silent, be obedient, be subservient and pleasing for handler. Make sure he is satisfied and serviced well. Maybe then it will get to sleep? Maybe it would get a blanket tonight. Maybe it wouldn’t have to serve the team tonight.

Or not.

Concern etched across your features as you observed his distress. "I promise you, everything is okay," you reiterated, your voice laced with sincerity and compassion. However, as you shifted slightly to face him better, it became apparent that this small movement was what he had been unconsciously anticipating. The second you made that tiny little shift in the cushion, he leapt to his feet, his sudden movement causing him to stumble. His knee collided painfully with the coffee table, but he seemed oblivious to the impact.

Backing away from you, his eyes darted wildly around your apartment, resembling those of a cornered animal searching desperately for an escape route. There was panic in his gaze, his chest heaving with each rapid, shallow breath.

Unable to maintain his stance, he sank to his knees, his legs unable to support him any longer. His hands flew to his head, fingers entangling themselves in his long hair, gripping tightly as though trying to anchor himself to reality. His breathing had become so labored and quick that it appeared he was on the verge of hyperventilation, fighting for each breath as though he were drowning on dry land.

He cowered away from you as you approached him with worry, his body surrendering to you.

'Stupid fucking asset! Did they fry out all of your common sense, huh? I said NO sitting on the furniture!' Handler's voice thundered through the room, each word laced with venom and contempt. Its wet nose collided violently with his boot for the second time, the impact reverberating through its skull. A sharp, searing pain pushed into its face, and it wondered if a fragment of its broken nose had been forced inward.

Its handler seized a fistful of the asset's hair in a vicious grip and yanking, forcefully dragging it across the floor. The wooden planks, rough and splintered, scraped against its skin as it was hauled towards the dilapidated door of the safehouse. This ramshackle structure was their temporary refuge for the night, a necessary evil in the unforgiving Siberian wilderness. The biting cold of the subzero temperatures was a constant source of irritation for the American team, who were ill-equipped to handle such extreme conditions.

As its handler stepped outside, the asset felt the icy bite of a frozen chain wrapping around its neck. The metal was chilled to an impossible degree and seared its skin on contact. The unexpected pain elicited a cry of surprise and agony from the asset but it was cut short as the chain constricted, squeezing tightly and cutting off its air supply.

Panic set in as it gasped and clawed desperately at the unyielding metal, its lungs burning for oxygen. Just when unconsciousness threatened to overtake it, the pressure relented, allowing it to gulp in precious air once more. The asset's mind raced, recognizing the depth of its handler's fury in this brutal display.

Its handler secured the other end of the chain to an old tree stump barely visible through the snowbank. The makeshift anchor stood amidst piles of chopped wood, all buried under a thick blanket of freshly fallen snow. The wind howled mercilessly, its icy fingers clawing at both the asset and its handler. 'I'll come back in the morning,' he spat, the words barely audible over the roaring gale.

As its handler retreated indoors, the asset felt the blood on its face begin to crystallize, the crimson stream halting its flow as the subzero temperatures took hold. The relentless wind continued its assault, driving icy particles into every exposed inch of skin. With no other option available, the asset curled into itself, seeking what little warmth it could generate as it resigned itself to enduring the long, brutal hours of frozen misery until dawn.

At least it didn't have to service anyone tonight.

He remained motionless, neither pleading nor protesting.

Its handler hated when it begged most of the time. Sometimes he did like it, but it didn’t want to risk angering you by opening its mouth. No. It should only do that when its handler commands it. Otherwise, it was a whore.

In his mind, he braced for the inevitable feeling of your hand roughly grasping his hair, forcefully dragging him away to face some cruel punishment. How could he have the audacity? Sitting beside you on the couch, as if he dared to consider himself your equal.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly. After several long, dreary seconds that felt like an eternity, he summoned the courage to steal a glance at you. His eyes were partially obscured by strands of unkempt hair, peered out cautiously. His breathing remained ragged and uneven, though he made a conscious effort to quiet it.

Its handler preferred silence, after all.

This thought, ingrained deeply within him, only served to heighten his anxiety.

"Soldat, breathe... it's okay, you're safe here." Your voice broke through the silence, gentle and reassuring, though tinged with a noticeable tremor as you witnessed his breakdown. "It's okay. I'm here. No one else but me. You are safe." You repeated these words, emphasizing them as you carefully lowered yourself to the ground beside him.

The soldier’s hyperventilation persisted despite your gentle efforts to speak to him. You remained undeterred and continued to speak, hoping that somehow your words would penetrate the fog of fear surrounding him.

Or the thick snowbank slowly freezing its skin.

"Whatever you're seeing right now isn't real, it's in the past," you explained, your voice soft but steady. "You're here, in my apartment. It's just us. No one is going to hurt you." You inched closer, gradually closing the distance between you and his huddled, trembling form on the carpet. Your movements were slow as you consciously made the effort to be careful and not to startle him further.

He heard you, the absence of pain confused him, but it also provided some soothing to his pure panic. You were telling the truth.

You weren't going to hurt him.

Soldat's gaze met yours once more, his eyes filled with a profound sadness as he gradually descended from the heights of his attack. His breathing, still irregular and labored, came in erratic bursts, each sudden intake of air punctuated by a noticeable hitch. To your shock, he began to inch towards you, his movements hesitant yet deliberate.

Under his breath, he emitted soft whimpers, struggling valiantly to maintain his silence as he had been engrained to do. His entire form quivered violently, reminiscent of someone caught in the grip of an intense chill, and without warning, he allowed his weight to collapse against you, seeking solace in your presence.

A muffled sound escaped him, barely audible as it was absorbed by the fabric of your shirt. Your arms encircled his trembling frame, careful in case he didn’t want you to do so, but you felt no resistance. As he muffled, your ears pricked and you carefully leaned your head down a bit. Your cheek gently brushed his forehead, your mouth close to his ear. "What is it...you can tell me." You whispered, waiting for him to speak again.

Given the other times he had spoken, you braced yourself for Russian, but those concerns dissipated like morning mist when he finally found his voice and spoke. His words were simple, he murmured out again, the admission barely above a whisper and surprised you when they hit your ears.

"I'm cold."

Dividers by @/strangergraphics

Cover images from Pinterest. I do not claim them as my own.

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[marionthegeek]

Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd.  It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain.  Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7.  The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  We need to go back to the beginning of season 2.  The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate.  He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe.  I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans.  So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head.  Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot.  So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius,  and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies. 

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean.  It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple.  Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5.  He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.”  Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids.  Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit.  Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”.  He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times.  Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s.  Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew.  Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However,  Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”.  The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all.  The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack.  Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn.  We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending.  Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending.  But really Ed is still off finding himself,  Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does.  Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season.  I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy.  IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

[aria-the-motherblog]

Oh my god, halsin is a werebear isn't he?

Minor spoilers

This is headcanon but think about it. Both narrative and mechanics seem to point to it

For starters my guy runs around the woods as a bear for fun. He just regularly lives his life as a bear. DND druids can only wild shape for a few hours at a time mechanically speaking and they don't really take on the personality of that animal

Halsin does though. On several occasions he is overcome with his "wild nature" even if you don't play along with the bear scene, he talks about how he's poly like a bear, he also has bear like anger issues, not being able to be discreet in the goblin camp for example.

Speaking of when you meet him at the goblin camp he's still in his wild shape. A mechanical part of bg3 druids is that when you loose your wild shape up you are left with full HP in humanoid form, but somehow the goblins never saw elf druid halsin? Only the "warbear"? You want me to believe that these tiny creatures dragged a basically nuclear 5th level big daddy Halsin into a worg cage. Bull.

Lythari are werewolves not werebears but I don't think it's a coincidence that they live in communities with moon and WOOD elves.

It's also not nothing that werebears have a easier time bonding with bears and he has not one but two bears back in the druid grove Ormn, who refers to halsin as "master" and is absolutely devastated by the missing Halsin and Tuffet that Halsin remarks as getting lazy and leaves instructions not to feed her to Netti. I don't think Bosk is one of his considering he is. Far. From. Home.

And let's talk about appearances, werebears are said to be exceptionally tall and muscular in humanoid form. (I understand and like halsin's theory that he doesn't need a reason to be so big, but if he was a werebear it would explain it). They also are usually extra hairy and have beards now our elf man doesn't have a beard but... Sense when do elves have chest hair? Imo probably the most damning piece of evidence regarding his appearance is his scar.

Halsin obtained the scar while in wild shape. As I've mentioned before druids that are brought to 0 HP in wild shape transform back with full HP. So why then would a mark from let's be real that hit was what 4 points of damage, retain in his elf form unless our favorite duck loving dweeb wasn't in wild shape at all but in his bear form as a werebear.

All of this can be explained, but most werecreatures have some level of plausible deniability that's how they work.

Lastly the biggest piece of mechanical evidence is his Cave Bear wild shape that is totally unique to him. Other druids do not get this. It's just because he's super aligned with bears but why is he super aligned with bears? Because he's a werebear

So why does it never come up? I don't think Halsin actually knows. He was a child when he started playing with Thaniel and probably not that old when he started to realize he needed to protect Thaniel. By the time he would have started transforming into a bear he might have just thought it was a druid thing.

[factual-fantasy]

But what happened to Ingo that he got al bloody??? Was he attacked by something??? By someone??? And why was Elesa alone on the last panel, where Emmet go? To sleep maybe? To look for his brother yet again somewhere? Does Ingo has memory loss or he does not? If he does, does he remember everything when he gets back? And forget about the adventure he just had? How much time was he missing? He is still all bloody and his leg is still not looking great so I'd say not very much?? His leg is looking awfull I love it.

(Post in question)

XDD I'll take this ask as an opportunity to go into much more detail on the story and answer all your questions!

So for starters, in my AU The Wilds isn't some far off island as its seems to be in the game. My version of The Wilds is 100s upon 100s of acers of land somewhere on the far far range.

Also, Elesa has her own ranch separate from the twins. She has a big lab on her ranch with welding equipment and tools and what not.

ANYWAYS! So Ingo and Emmet had been out exploring when they happened upon The Wilds. Excited to see this uncharted land, they charged right in. They explored together to start, but at some point they split up. Neither of them really even remember why they split.. they both regret separating looking back..

Ingo found a big open field and began walking across it. considering there was literally nothing ahead of him he felt confident to take out his Rotom and type away on it while walking.

Suddenly he fell into a big gaping hole in the middle of the field. Looking at his Rotom he didn't see it coming..

He tumbled down several feet and crashed into the cave floor. The result was a mild concussion, blood pouring from his forehead and a nasty sprained ankle..

He laid there unconscious for a few minutes before waking up dazed and confused. Looking ahead of him he saw a dim light. So he just.. instinctively crawled towards it.

It turns out that dim light was an old teleporter that led him miles and miles into The Wilds. The teleporter deactivated behind him.

About an hour passed when Emmet started look for Ingo. When he couldn't find him right away he tracked him on his Rotom. Following the signal he found a hole in the ground leading to the enormous cave..

Carefully making his way down the hole he found Ingo's abandoned Rotom, a trail of blood leading to an old broken teleporter.. but no Ingo.

It was pretty clear what had happened. Ingo had gone through the teleporter. But it was deactivated so he couldn't follow him.

He called Elesa in a panic, and Elesa told him to bring the teleporter to her ranch. There she had welding supplies and tools to hopefully fix the old teleporter and bring Ingo home. Or maybe go through it themselves and find him..

While Elesa worked on the teleporter, Emmet still had a ranch to maintain and slimes to feed. At the moment there wasn't much else he could do to help in finding Ingo anyways.. So he went back to his ranch and maintaining it.

Now its at this point I should talk about Celebi.

I had this idea that Celebi is this mischievous slime that lives in The Moss Blanket. Ingo and Emmet have become obsessed with trying to capture this slime so that they can study it. Though this slime always escapes somehow. After months of failing to capture it, this cat and mouse routine has turned into a game for both parties.

Celebi will appear and temp the brothers into chasing after her. The dinguses always give in and make chase, only to tire themselves out and end up empty handed.

This routine has become so casual that there have been somedays where they go to The Moss Blanket and Celebi appears. The boys will shake their heads. "Sorry, no games today. We actually have chores to do.." Celebi will pout but then confidently approach them and help them with their chores and allow them to pet her. The next time they visit it'll be back to trying to catch her and her always slipping away. XD

So with that context, it had been about 3 days or so since Ingos disappearance. Emmet was back at his ranch waiting for any good news from Elesa.. At some point he had to stop by The Moss Blanket for his usual chores and to empty him and Ingos extractors.

Emmet had tried to stay calm through all this. He tried to tell himself that Ingo would be fine. he was tough, capable. Surly he would be fine.. though being in The Moss Blanket.. perhaps he saw something that reminded him of Ingo. And just thinking about how his brother was bleeding, and all alone out there..

It was just too much. He was so worried about Ingo and he missed him so much.. Emmet fell to his knees and started crying.

Celebi heard the crying and came to investigate. Only to find.. just one of the brothers.?

Celebi tried to comfort Emmet by nuzzling up against his arm. It helped some and he was able to compose himself.

"Sorry,, no games today.. Ingo's not here... maybe some other day.."

Celebi wouldn't leave his side though. Emmet couldn't help it and kind'a vented the situation to Celebi, even though he thought she couldn't understand him.

He talked about this new land they discovered. He talked about how he turned away for only a minute.. and then Ingo was gone.. But most importantly, he talked about the pink trees..

After Emmet left the Moss Blanket, Celebi turned around and went straight to The Wilds in search of Ingo.

Around 2 weeks give or take have gone by when Celebi finally finds Ingo. And by this time Elesa had fully repaired the teleporter and reactivated it.. but the teleporter didn't connect with another. Ingo did not appear..

Celebi began to try to lead Ingo home. It was tough considering how slow Ingo moved and all the dangers The Wilds presented.. but they managed.

A few days go by and its at this point that Emmet and Elesa are completely defeated. They don't even know where to begin looking for Ingo. They have no way of knowing where that teleporter took Ingo. Although Elesa tried to hack into it and find its last coordinates..

Emmet was back at his ranch, and to be honest.. he was falling apart. Each day that went by he spiraled more and more. There was talk about packing up a bunch of gear and supplies and venturing into The Wilds looking for Ingo.. though there were a lot of problems that presented..

Meanwhile Celebi, Ingo and Lady Sneasler saw a glint coming from a nearby cave..

It was another teleporter! And although it was currently shut off, it looked to be functioning! Ingo said a heartfelt goodbye to Celebi and Lady Sneasler. he thanked them for all their help and care. He activated the teleporter, and stepped through..

All in all Ingo was gone for about 3 weeks or so. He didn't suffer any memory loss or anything thankfully. His concussion and sprained ankle were generally mild and healed on their own over those 3 weeks. Although his leg was still pretty sore since he was constantly walking on it..

I have some ideas in mind for what happens after Ingo returns and what the reunion with Emmet is like. I plan to draw it sometime soon so stay tuned! :}}}

Also thank you for your interest in this Au and for your ask! It gave me a great excuse to ramble about the story and go into more detail! XDD

[tyrantisterror]

A couple months ago, one of the kids at the daycare brought in a D&D starter set and asked me to DM a game for him and some of the other kids in my class. Now, I had considered doing this in the past, but written it off for a variety of reasons, mainly asusming it'd be a couple days of chaos before the kids get sick of all the math involved and lose interest. But if a kid broaches an idea and others seem on board, I feel it's kind of my duty to at least try it.

So far my assumptions have been... mostly correct? Like, 70% of my predictions have come true, it is chaos, ten-years olds are the most murder-happy murder hobo PCs you could possibly imagine, and they've really been pushing my improv skills to their absolute limits with the choices they've made (and the constrictions I have on me as a daycare teacher). But they haven't gotten bored with the math, and they absolutely love playing the game still, which is nice. I like it when my students are passionate about something.

Anyway, I bring this up because seeing how children play with D&D canon has made me realize one critical fact:

D&D needs a Mons Game spinoff.

Kids love monsters. This is not my bias, it is something that has been categorically proven to me in my four years of working at a daycare. Every kid loves the idea of weird, impossible creatures, and they love the idea of befriending a whole horde of those creatures even more so. One of my kids in the daycare D&D campaign is making it his goal to find and tame every monster he can find in the kid-friendly monster manuals I bought for the class. He wants a Tarasque and a Bullete and an Owlbear and on and on and on, and keeps proposing tactics for capturing them based on his time playing Ark: Survival Evolved, a game where you can tame dinosaurs and mythic beasts while trying to survive a wild world full of danger and obstacles.

And it turns out that, while the mechanics of D&D don't support this, the philosophy of how its settings are structured according to those mechanics does. D&D is filled with hundreds of wild and imaginative monsters, all with distinct appearances, habits, adaptations, and environmental needs. The need to make the "dungeons" part of D&D interesting has required it to build really interesting monster ecosystems, and, much like mons games, the need to keep players buying new content has resulted in them building a vast library of creatures, because selling $50 books containing a slew of new monsters is a pretty guaranteed way to get money. D&D may not be a mons game, but it's accidentally made its setting perfectly suited to be one.

And what a money-maker that would be! Skew it more towards a child audience in tone, use simpler mechanics so kids can hop into it without spending, say, three solid weeks of afterschool daycare time crafting character sheets more or less one on one, and you'd have a game that would easily hook a younger audience while planting seeds of interest into the bigger game.

Of course, there are already indie TTRPG mons games, and I imagine some of them are actually good, but unfortunately they're not exactly easily obtainable on a daycare teacher's budget. And, you know, they wouldn't let you make a team of a bulette, an otyugh, a gray render, and an owlbear.

But then again, Wizards of the Coast continues to be absolute bastards, so maybe this idea is too good for them. Which makes it a good thing they're never going to read this blog post.

[bethsvrse]

Hello!! I appreciate that you don’t write for people with existing relationships so could you do something for maybe Tobi has a huge crush on one of Faiths female friends that he met when out with Ethan and fair or something?? I really enjoy your writing ML 🫶🏽

PAIRING Tobi Brown x fem!reader

WARNINGS nothing <3

Tobi initially planned to spend a quiet evening at home, enjoying some movies, perhaps ordering a pizza, and then going to bed. However, due to the 10-year anniversary celebration of the Sidemen, he felt compelled to join his friends at a pub to have a wild night.

All of his friends were present, commemorating his and his brothers’ accomplishments. Tobi stood on the sidelines, observing his friends dancing in the midst of the crowd, capturing the moments on camera. Tobi was quite happy that he doesn’t drink, knowing for certain that his friends would regret their actions in the morning when these videos are shared on social media.

Suddenly, Tobi heard someone calling his name and turned around to see Faith, Ethan's girlfriend, bringing another girl towards him. He furrowed his brow in confusion, as he had never met this girl before.

Faith stood in front of Tobi, releasing the hand of the beautiful girl. "Tobi, this is my friend Y/N. Y/N, meet Tobi," Faith introduced, with the girl offering a shy greeting.

"I'm about to hit the dance floor, and to prevent Y/N from feeling awkward standing alone, I thought she could stay with you," Faith pointed dramatically in Tobi's direction. "That way, you both won't look too out of place."

"Faith..." Y/N hesitated, not wanting to make Tobi uncomfortable just because her best friend was trying to set her up with one of her boyfriend's friends.

"Shh!" Faith placed a finger on Y/N's lips, clearly already intoxicated. "I want to join the dance floor, and I don't want to leave my best friend alone."

With that, Faith walked away and headed straight for the dance floor, grooving to one of Kanye West's songs that had just started playing.

Y/N pursed her lips, leaning against the same wall that Tobi was leaning on, feeling even more awkward now. She desperately searched her mind for conversation starters, all while Tobi couldn't help but admire the stunning woman standing beside him.

His eyes roamed up and down, attempting to take in her entire appearance.

Tobi cleared his throat, attempting to break the silence. "So, uh, Faith didn't give you much of a choice, did she?"

Y/N chuckled nervously. "Not exactly. I hope this isn't too awkward for you. I didn't really sign up for a blind date tonight."

Tobi giggled, feeling the tension ease a bit. "No worries. I was just planning on a quiet night, but fate had other ideas, it seems."

Y/N nodded, glancing at the dance floor. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting to be here either. I'm not much of a party person, Faith kinda dragged me along."

Tobi chuckled, "Me neither, actually. I prefer the comfort of my movie nights."

As they exchanged small talk, Tobi discovered that Y/N loves photography and her traveling and Y/N learnt more about Tobi's YouTube career and she found out about his love for working out. The awkwardness began to fade, replaced by genuine interest.

Suddenly, Faith returned, still dancing energetically. "How's it going, you two?"

Tobi and Y/N exchanged glances, both unsure of what to say.

Faith laughed, "Relax, I'm just checking in. Enjoying your forced company?"

Tobi grinned, "Actually, not so bad."

Y/N nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it's been surprisingly pleasant."

Faith, satisfied with their responses, danced away again, leaving Tobi and Y/N alone once more.

As the night progressed, they found themselves laughing and sharing stories. However, when the clock struck midnight, Y/N checked her phone.

"I should probably head home. Early day tomorrow," she said, a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

Tobi nodded, "Yeah, I get that. It was nice meeting you, though."

Y/N smiled, "You too, Tobi."

As Y/N left, Tobi couldn't help but smile, realizing that sometimes unexpected nights turned out to be the most memorable.

Tobi's eyes followed Y/N as she walked through the crowd. The lively atmosphere of the celebration buzzed around him, but his thoughts were focused on the intriguing girl who had unexpectedly become his companion for the night. He hesitated for a moment, debating whether he should catch up with her, but then got distracted by Simon, one of his friends, who dragged him into a group photo.

As the flash of the camera illuminated the room, Tobi's mind raced, trying to recall if he had exchanged contact information with Y/N. The realization hit him just as he turned back to look for her, but she was already gone.

"Hey, do you guys see Y/N leave? The girl Faith brought" Tobi asked, scanning the crowd.

His friends exchanged puzzled glances, and Vikk replied, "I saw her leave a few minutes ago.”

Tobi sighed, frustration evident on his face. "Great, I forgot to get her number."

Ethan, overhearing the conversation, chimed in, "Smooth, Tobi. Don't worry though, Faith has her number, ask her for it."

Tobi thanked Ethan before going to find Faith on the dance floor. He tapped her on the shoulder, and amidst the music, he shouted, "Hey, Faith! Do you have Y/N's number?"

Faith paused in her dance moves, trying to hear Tobi over the music. "Y/N's number? Why do you need that?”

"We got along well, and I forgot to get her number before she left," Tobi explained.

Faith grinned mischievously, "Well, well, looks like someone's got a crush. Don't worry, I've got you covered. Let me find it on my phone."

Faith fumbled with her phone, scrolling through her contacts as the bass thumped in the background. Tobi tapped his foot impatiently, regretting not securing Y/N's number earlier.

After what felt like an eternity, Faith triumphantly declared, "Got it!" She showed Tobi Y/N's contact info on her phone.

"Thanks, Faith. You're a lifesaver," Tobi said, relieved, adding Y/N to his contacts.

Faith winked, "Just make sure to treat her right. I'm her best friend, after all."

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

[Image Description: A colored line-up of various Legend of Zelda characters for the Linked Spirit AU. The characters read left-to-right: "Marin, she/her, pre-Hyule Warriors" is a young redhead girl with a purple cloak and maroon and white dress. She has her hands politely held in front of her. "Groose, he/him, Skyward Sword" is a redheaded man with his hands on his hips, wearing a blue tunic and a green caplet. "Greg Moblin, he/him, LoZ 1" is a large gold bulldog like moblin holding a flower in his hands. He wears a red shirt and pants, with a green poncho. "Purah, she/her, Breath of the Wild" a young teenager wearing a black poofy skirt and a tan shirt and coat with red accents. She has a red streak in her white hair, posing with her hand next to her face. "Tulin, he/him, Breath of the Wild" is a pullet age white Rito with one arm as a wing and the other arm ends with a Wind Waker style hand and wing 'sleeve' "Aror, he/him, Twilight Princess, Crossbow Training" is a child Twili oc with red hair and wears a green over the shoulder wrap over a white tunic. "Midna, she/her, Twilight Princess" is a older Twili, with long fluffy ears wearing a black and teal collared cape, She wears a dark purple skirt with a grey fur trim and a wolf head belt clip on the side of her hip. "Medli, she/her, Wind Waker" is a teenaged white Rito, her red hair in a ponytail. She holds a hand to her chest. "Aryll, she/her, Wind Waker" is a young teen with her hand raised excitedly. She wears a purple skirt with a skull pattern, and a blue shirt with flower patterns. She has the Wind Waker's starter sail wrapped around her waist. "Ol' Niko, he/him, Wind Waker, Spirit Tracks" is an elderly man, smiling with his hands on his cane. He wears a red and white stripped shirt with a blue vest. "Gulley, he/him, A Link Between Worlds" is a blond child wearing Link's Cap and a matching green vest over his yellow tunic. He has his hands on his hips. "Ravio, he/him, A Link to the Past, A Link Between Worlds" is a teenager with dark hair that fades into light blue. He waves, winking, wearing a floor length purple robe and dark purple blue. "Grandpa Smith, he/him, Minish Cap, Four Swords Adventures" is a greying beared man, drying his hands on a cloth. He wears a long leather apron over his green tunic, and wears a green bandana. "Skull Kid, he/him, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask" is a Skull Kid wearing a orange hat and tunic, with green shorts, collar, and gloves. He has a v like mark on his forehead. He holds up a horned skull mask in front of him. "Lady Alma, she/her, Wand of Gamelon" is a young woman with short red hair and a tiara. She raises a hand to her chin dantily, wearing a teal shirt and darker teal skirt. End ID]

A few "NPCs"

I can't say ALL of them will make an appearance in the comic, actually, but these are NPCs that are important to the Links, in one way or another, while also having a few significant design differences from canon (thus why no Linebeck or spryte lol.)

[pincushionx]

Hunter AU

A sneak peak sketch of an au of Hunter!

I’m currently naming it DOG Au but that might change in this future.

In this Au, Belos previous Golden Guard had lasted 27 years, with Belos truly believing that he was the ‘one’, only for the Guard to betray him. This is the most emotion and even hurt Belos has felt in decades and as he results he vows that the next one will be perfect. As a result he raises Hunter differently then his previous Grimwalkers. For starters, that Hunter is created at age 3 unlike the young adults of before.

Belos and Hunter are also closer in this au (for the worst) With Hunter no longer just being his right hand man but also the man’s eyes and hands in general. Which is him essentially doing more of the messy work then shown in canon. With Belos teaching Hunter more things (including personal ) then in Canon. He teaches Hunter how to replicate bile magic with his staff along side staff exclusive magic, potions, and even glyphs. He tells Hunter that only he the Emperor and the Golden Guard are permitted to use true wild magic as they are the only ones that can maintain it. He still doesn’t let Hunter use wild magic to help his curse still.

Hunter is aware he’s a Grimwalker.

However, no one besides Belos knows Hunters face in this, not even the coven heads like in canon. Hunter was also a lot more isolated in his childhood with him only appearing for scout training at age 11 for scout training and passing with flying colors ( beating record set by Lilith) Before Hunter was raised and taught by Belos only, essentially messing him up during his primary developing years. Only after he was 11 was he allowed high end tutors and training outside of Belos. He officially became Golden guard at 13.

Hunter is still a dork in this au but he was taught more masking and manipulations skills by Belos. He did a lot of Belos dirty work and is overall more ruthless with the hopes of being the perfect grimwalker. He still acts similar then in canon but with a additional layer of grime to him.

Canon events in the show involving Hunter play out quite differently in this AU

A more detailed explanation when I actually finish these drawings lol

Here’s a sketch of his suit in this AU

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

If Nettles was white, she would be as popular as Lyanna, Brienne or Arya, and y’all know it.

She grew up a homeless orphan (which is why it’s so insulting when people try to act like she’s a freaking idiot who doesn’t know how to bathe herself yet she can tame a dragon🤦🏽‍♀️ Put most of the highborn women in her position and they wouldn’t survive a day in her shoes).

She’s the only known non-Valyrian dragonrider who claims a wild dragon. A prince who believes in Valyrian supremacy falls in love with her to the point where he’s willing to sacrifice his life for her. Nettles singlehandedly disproves the whole idea of Targaryen exceptionalism and their blood purity. She slowly earns a dragon’s trust by bringing him sheep, and gradually he lets her closer, and then forms the dragonrider bond and lets her fly. up until this point, nobody had tried a strategy like that before.

Nettles is self-made. She’s self-taught. She’s loved for herself. She survives a freaking war and becomes a fire goddess/witch. Who wouldn’t want her ? Who wouldn’t want to be her ? Unlike Rhaenyra and Alicent, she’s the final girl of F&B.

Once again, I don't understand where you got that I'm anti Nettles? I'm anti Nettles x Daemon, but other than that theory, I very much am a fan of Nettles as a character. I won't say that there isn't racism and unfairness that happen regarding Nettles' character (though I haven't seen it personally), because people can be really shitty. But me personally, again, I'm not anti Nettles, I just dislike certain groups of her stans.

Again, I don't deny that Nettles was a strong woman. She endured many things most characters in F&B don't and most likely survived the Dance. However, I do disagree with some of the ideas you're stating as fact.

For starters, we don't know if Nettles is non-Valyrian; that's one of the many theories surrounding her, but it's not confirmed, so stating it as fact is misleading. Just because she lacks traditional Valyrian features doesn't means she isn't a dragonseed.

Jace and his brothers don't look Valyrian but they very obviously are of Valyrian descent. Rhaenys, the queen who never was, had black hair; Duncan the son of Aegon V looked like his mother, Betha Blackwood; Aegor Rivers also had black hair; Baelor Breakspear had dark hair; Daeron son of Maekar had sandy brown hair; Rhaenys the daughter of Rhaegar had her mother, Elia Martell's features.

Moving on, Daemon's relationship with Nettles is ambiguous. We don't know if they were in a romantic relationship or if his attack on Aemond was purely to save her (though I'm sure that was part of his decision). Again, you are stating a theory you believe as fact, even though it's unconfirmed.

I'm not going to touch the whole thing of Targaryen exceptionalism, because, as I said earlier, Nettles' parentage is unconfirmed. But the whole blood purity thing still hasn't been disproven at any point of GRRM's works; they intermarried to preserve their magic blood, the magic blood still exists in ASOIAF due to the incest.

Nettles is an important character in the story of the Dance, but she isn't the "final girl" you claim she is, let alone of the whole book. There are several dragon riders who survived the Dance and thrived. Rhaena is the ancestor of the Tyrells in the main series. Aegon III is the ancestor of Daenerys, the Baratheons, any remaining Blackfyres, and possibly Jon Snow and Young Griff. Baela and Alyn are the ancestors of Aurane Waters and the Velaryons.

The book of F&B is so much more than the Dance of the Dragons. Saying that Nettles is the "final girl" of the book doesn't make any sense when she only appears in a few sections. That's like saying Alys Rivers is actually the main character of the book. Nettles disappears after the Dance and doesn't appear in any other event. She does nothing else after her disappearance and has relatively little impact on the history of Westeros post Dance.

I have absolutely no idea where you're getting the whole "fire goddess/witch" thing. However, you have already been throwing out theories and your personal biases as fact, so I don't think it matters. I'm not trying to control who your fav is, I totally understand wanting to be a certain book character. But that doesn't mean you can act like everyone else is wrong for not having the same fav as you.

It's that kind of entitlement, thinking you're better than everyone else that makes people not like Nettles stans. It's almost on par with stansas and Alicent stans. People like you project so hard onto your favs, you take any perceived insult, critique, or argument as a personal attack. It's exhausting interacting with people like you.

[lepurcinus]

In reality, even if I get to joke about my concepts of Watership Down in the Himalayas or Watership Down with Pikas. Also you know how it really bothers me the whole idea of trading rabbits with hares lol.

Because that changes the story completely and is just another example of people not being able to let go of the idea that the only relevant element of WD has to be violence and darkness and death. Hares are solitary by nature, they don't fight each other unless it's for mates. Basically the whole plot of finding a new home and community and leadership and the downtrodden is not going to happen that way.

You would have to be creating an original story instead rather than adapting.

Because the story is about rabbits, you're not going to trade the lion king for tigers just because they seem more "awesome" to you. Or White Fang for a coyote because of the dynamics. I know that as such there are adaptations that can turn a story into something completely different while still keeping the idea of course, but the thing is that they usually also try to be something new as a product rather than an adaptation itself.

And well the stigma that rabbits are cute innocent creatures and hares weird Lovecraft cryptids. It's changing unknown aspects of their nature just on the basis of how "disturbing" their appearance is.

For starters the terrible stigma Watership Down has of being just a "scary" story has a lot to do with it, no it's not. It's a story full of layers and it bothers me a little to know that because of scenes in the film they have to believe it is.

Plus the rabbits themselves have another stigma. People just can't help but see them as "cuddly critters". When they are not, rabbits are also WILD ANIMALS, they have to deal with a lot of crap every day, rabbits also fight, bleed and bite each other to death. Any rabbit owner knows how terribly chaotic they can be and wild rabbits are aggressive as shit with each other.

Stories like Watership Down HELP remove that stigma, even with certain outdated or unknown topics at the time Richard Adams managed to make his slightly to anthropomorphic rabbits feel like the non-human animals they are, he gave them culture, language, myths and mild intelligence but adapted in a way that sounds believable to anyone who knows the basics about rabbits, even the story itself is filled with thousands of facts about these animals that allow you to learn about them.

Watership Down doesn't censor their reality, and not just because they kill each other or some stupid thing they always say. It doesn't censor the rabbits as the animals they are, they eat their waste, they have in mind the idea of reproducing almost as a law, they are not immediate friends of their animal companions and they even have a hard time communicating with them.

Watership Down is about rabbits because it shows their reality, their anguish and daily struggles, events that although fictional and sometimes fantastic are not far from the possibilities of what a rabbit can do. And it also works with rabbits because it has the whole element of community, family, peer bonding, leadership and knowing one's value and what one is good at.

A lot of that is lost if you simply change them for another animal simply because you think it covers a false "aesthetic" better and it's just the same story but made up by changing its nature.

It also bothers me because people just don't understand that they are different but related animals.

[eriexplosion]

Here's How Shrimp Trooper Theory Can Still Win

This is as fringe as it gets folks.

I've done my very serious Tech lives essay now it's time for my actual wild theory. Plus @katara-stan-club wanted the shrimp trooper essay and I will take any opportunity to yammer. Please don't take this extremely seriously as it is just something that I'm spinning up for entertainment and is almost certainly not true. (Unless!)

So the opening to Confined is... Odd to me. I've mentioned this in a post before but just to recap, it is definitely the odd man out of the three season starters.

Season one of course we intro with Caleb, who then leads us directly to meet the batch and get our first character appearances, along with convenient introductions. A fun, action packed little scene before things immediately go to hell.

Season two we intro with the batch in the middle of a job, which gives us another fun action scene that shows us how much Omega has grown, as well as the current status of the batch itself.

Season three though? Season three starts us off with a ship going down in a lightning storm and all the stormtroopers inside assumed to be eaten by the giant monsters that lurk in Tantiss' jungles. (Going by Omega's tally marks later in the episode, we're about 20 days post plan 99.) Nothing to do with the batch at all, though we do get a glance at what's in the jungle, and a tiny bit more of Hemlock being a bastard of course.

Now, seemingly, this scene is the set up for episode three, when they make their escape and head for the downed ship.

Except it's completely unnecessary. When they get to the ship, it turns on but it's incapable of flight and the comms are still down and non functioning. The ship they end up taking and using to escape is the ship that came in pursuit of them. The plot would have gone down exactly the same if they had just picked a direction and fled without the downed ship. It's a complete red herring for how they ultimately end up escaping.

So why is it important enough to open the season on if the ship essentially functions as nothing more than a destination point?

Enter Shrimp Trooper Theory.

Going back to the stormtroopers. We have four of them inside the ship, the pilot and three others. We're going to be focusing on our boy on the far right of the second picture.

The pilot speaks before the ship goes down so we can confirm he's a rando. Our fellow in the middle speaks next, identifying himself as TK-343, another rando. The one on the far left talks about wild beasts proving himself, you guessed it, a third rando. But our boy on the far right doesn't talk at all through this whole scene, leaving his identity up in the air.

So we'll take a closer look at him and brighten the scene up a bit.

Now, seeing this guy hobble his way out of the ship, I thought that he looked somewhat familiar. Specifically.

That shitty ass posture. (Forgive the sloppiness of the edit I did this comparison once before and I am not remaking it)

We do not actually see the troopers all get eaten, we cut to the interior of Tantiss before it happens. Theoretically there is nothing stopping this shrimp shaped man from being Tech.

The timeline of shrimp trooper theory:

Tech falls from the rail car and manages to survive the landing but he's severely injured. He crawls away/gets scraped off the ground by Saw.

Roughly 3 weeks pass in which he is recovering and healing yet unable to comm out as, per episode 4 of season 3, Imperial planets monitor long range communications. But, he is able to gather information from the flights going in and out of Eriadu to determine which ones are being assigned to Hemlock's secretive lab. Once he is able to confirm this, he steals some stormtrooper armor and boards.

Ship goes down because gravity hates him in particular and he is almost eaten by a Beast.

Now stranded in the jungle on Tantiss, Tech finds his infiltration plan foiled by the fact that he is being continually hounded by even more Beasts.

Several months later, Batcher is released and for some reason goes straight for the wrecked ship. Somehow she survives out here, but we're not sure how - potentially she had help?

Tech IS the mystery clone X that we see but rather than being brainwashed he has finally managed to get inside Tantiss and yet again begins to Steal Clothing from others.

Crosshair and Omega immediately break out without him leaving him stranded in Tantiss where he presumably still is, attempting to avoid detection and continue to gather information that will aid in the eventual liberation of the other clones.

Is this unlikely? Yes! Is it overly complicated? Absolutely! Am I endlessly entertained by it anyway? You bet!

Benefits of Shrimp Trooper Theory include, but are not limited to:

A living, non brainwashed Tech! The most important feature one could have!

An extremely ridiculous Only In Star Wars series of events!

Retroactive explanation for why the ship going down was an important scene to start on.

Hemlock ruining his own life by not sending someone out to recover the team and just assuming they'd totally be taken care of by the wildlife.

More giant monsters than Wrecker could shake a stick at.

The possibility of Tech and Batcher offscreen shenanigans.

Tech thinking he's finally found Crosshair and making plans to retrieve him when, SURPRISE, OMEGA'S HERE TOO AND THEY'RE ESCAPING. RIGHT NOW.

Seriously just imagine the epic sigh Tech would let out as they flew away completely unaware of his presence. His life is a series of difficulties.

He can simply turn up with the coordinates to Tantiss because god knows how else they're going to manage to get them.

This is my conspiracy theory that I'm allowing myself to believe in as a treat. It will almost certainly not be what occurs but the thought of it makes me happy.

[meluiloth]

O-O I just watched the hobbit

do u perchance have any fic recommendations??

I'm so glad you're getting into the world of Middle-Earth and its stories!! It's always so wonderful to see a new fan, and I'm honored you came to me for recs!

For starters, I'd absolutely recommend that you read the original novel by J. R. R. Tolkien - it's an amazing story, and not overly long either, though you'll find it's quite different from the movies in some ways (and in my opinion, much better!)

As for fanfictions, here are a few that I really love!

Heart of a Dragon by Night Kite on Quotev. It's so incredibly well-written, follows the movies (mostly) and includes a lot of lore from the Tolkien canon, but in a way that's really understandable! All the characters are written accurately, and the protagonist is phenomenal. It's a completed fic! If you like it, the author has written a few oneshots about the main character, The Short Tales of Elerìna Angolwen. Here's the summary:

Elerìna Angolwen never wanted to join the Company of Thorin Taken Oakenshield. Unfortunately for her and them, she has a talent that no one else in Middle-Earth has the curse of possessing - but it comes at a dire price. Amongst the rabble of Dwarves, an unusual Hobbit and an extremely meddling Grey Wizard, the Captain of the Dúnedain Rangers is the only person standing between peace and the destruction of the world by the deadliest foe of all - a dragon.

Solitude of a Wanderer, also by Night Kite on Quotev (they're a wonderful author, I cannot recommend them enough). This story features an extremely interesting and layered main character, and there's also a completed sequel set in The Lord of the Rings, which actually brought me to tears. Both are completed.

Vanimóre has been wandering the wilds of Middle Earth for her whole life, patiently gathering knowledge and experience along the way. But as she befriends Elves, Men, and Wizards, she can no longer hide her dangerous secret, a secret that could change the rhythm of the world forever.

Spirits of Fire by Darth Fëanor on Quotev is another really good fic - it's incomplete as of now, but it's so worth reading! Another amazing author with a gift for writing - they have other fics that are completed, set in the story of The Lord of the Rings!

She has the spirit of a wildfire, the appearance of a Ranger, and the bearing of a queen. A young (well, by Dúnedain standards) with the dangerous gift of fire is unwillingly roped into Thorin Oakenshield's company by none other than Gandalf, the roper-of-the-unwilling. None of the Dwarves really trust her at first, which cannot be avoided as she tells nothing of herself, not even her real name. Can she gain their trust, even when forced to reveal who she truly is?

Unnecessary Guardian by @sotwk on tumblr! This is a one-shot, and a story involving the Elves of Mirkwood, but it's a delight to read and provides a realistic picture of what life in Mirkwood might look like!

I don't have a whole lot of fics to recommend (I don't read a whole lot to be honest, my focus is mainly in The Lord of the Rings), but I hope you like these! And, once again, do read Tolkien's works if you have the chance!

[cattiittii]

INTRO——-

While everyone is speculating on what the starters will be in legends ZA I am speculating that we will get a third charcadet evolution. As crazy as it sounds, please hear me out.

Also! This is speculation. This isn’t a leak or anything, this is just a fan separating on a PKMN i really like. If I get this wrong don’t come after me please.

THEME———

Koraidon is red and represents the past, Miraidon is purple and represents the future. Cyclizar is green and represents the present.

Armarouge has red and represents the future, Ceruledge has purple and represents the past. Where’s the green knight that represents the present? It might be in Kalos.

The focus of Legends ZA is Zygarde, who just so happens to be green.

ZA might have some themes about the past and future, and since the knights represent the opposite theme of their games, a knight that represents the present in a game about the past and future, just makes sense to me.

France, the country Kalos is based on, had numerous famous knights in its history. It wouldn’t be far-fetched for another Charcadet evolution to appear in the region. Kalos and Paldea are also connected, meaning that it’s also not unlikely for Charcadet to be found there.

In X and Y the Royal Family has a castle we can go in, there’s a lot of knight-like PKMN statues around the castle that being Pawniards and bisharps. (but not gallade because gamefreak regretted making gallade)

In castle, we see these two paintings. Tying us back to the past and future as well as the knight thing going on. Both Armarouge and Ceruledge represent the past and future as well as being very “knight-like” PKMN. I feel like it’s a possibility they could be in the game, as well tying us back to legends ZA possibly taking back in the past and further.

COMBAT STYLE———

Somebody on twitter pointed this out

The third missing combat arm is cavalry, which is riding on horseback.

French knights were known for their horse riding; many writings, paintings, and statues portrayed French knights on a horse or with a horse. French knights were called chevaliers, which translates into “horseman”.

Jousting, a competitive sport practiced by knights on horseback, originated in France. Each knight attempts to knock their opponent off their horse with a long lance.

This third evolution might be based on jousting, which is still played to this day despite its medieval origins. A lance would be a perfect mix of it being far away from the opponent but close enough to the opposite. A middle ground from Armarouge’s far distance attacks and Ceruledge’s close combat. 

This also could tie us back to the third evo representing the present because jousting is still played to this day.

While jousting doesn’t require a horse to be played, the armor on the third evo might have some horse elements to it to emphasize the cavalry, and since mega evolution is coming back what’s not to say they’ll make its mega evolution a centaur for this third evo. *shivers*

SHAPE LANGUAGE——————-

Armarouge and ceruledge are both perfect examples of shape language in character design. 

Armaoruge is rounder in appearance due to its Pauldrons, it also has rounder eyes, hands, and a brighter color palette. Its armor is smooth and overall has a nicer, friendlier appearance. A Pokemon who would probably hug you..

Ceruledge on the other hand is a menace to society. Its armor and body is full of pointed edges, from its chest, its chin, helmet, ears, eyes, boots and obviously its swords. It has a darker color palette which gives it a menacing appearance. If you were to see this Pokemon in the wild you are probably going to die. Definitely not as huggable as Armarouge.

Armarouge used a lot of circles and rounder shapes for its design, making it seem friendlier and approachable, while Ceruledge uses a lot of edges for it’s design to seem more intimidating. This third charcadet evolution would use squares for its design making it seem strong and reliable.

In character design there are usually 3 shapes you should use when designing a character. Circles, squares and triangles. It’s interesting you see Armarouge uses circles and ceruledge uses triangles. but not having the third one that uses squares.

In character design squares are seen as bold, sturdy and strong. In jousting you sorta have to be sturdy when riding on your horse.

TYPING—————

What could this third knight typing be?

Armarouge and Ceruledge’s typings seem to relate if they are in the past or future.

For example Armarouge is a psychic type based on the future. Psychic types pkmn are known for looking into the future, for example gardevoir, delphox and Xatu. What's not to say Armarouge could do the same thing.

Armarouge’s armor also reflects that being more “technologically advanced” and having less armor, which throughout the years armor has been used less and less since guns were invented.

Ceruledge is based on the past and it's typing reflects that as well. Being a ghost type, ghosts are known for being stuck in the past and being vengeful, spiteful of what happened. It also uses more traditional weapons and has more armor, like on its helmet, boots and arms. 

My idea for what this third knight typing might be is either steel or flying type. (Fighting type could work because of typing stuff with psychic and ghost.)

Steel could represent the present because we are in the Iron Age. Steel is strong and sturdy, tying back into the square shape language and the sturdiness required for jousting. Green is also not an outlandish color for a steel type, as we have seen a few examples already. Celesteela, the Brozor line, and Copperajah are all examples. Green calls to mind tarnished metal, which could play into the “old but still standing” theme of jousting. 

For flying type air and wind associated with speed and the color green. (The reason why wind is associated with green is because of grass and trees being blown by them) Horses in media are usually portray with their mains flowing in the wind and are also really fast. If this third evo is going to be more “horse like” *shivers* as well as it being more speed based I think flying type could work. It also work to represent the present because flying is usually portrayed as “being in the moment” like skydiving or a character in media trying/learning to fly.

ISN’T IT TOO SOON FOR A THIRD EVOLUTION?

While I would agree with you, I would like Armarouge and ceruledge to have a bit more time in the spotlight. It seems that Gamefreak has been making new evolutions since gen 8 with their newer Pokemon, for example Applin, Duraludon and Blood Moon Ursaluna. 

Blood moon Ursaluna literally having another form RIGHT AFTER legends arceus.

The idea of a third charcadet evo being “too soon” is out of the question. Gamefreak also seems to make new forms for PKMN that need it or PKMN that was *extremely* like zorua, sneasel etc. The charcadet line is a very popular PKMN, I mean there’s a reason why both Armarouge and ceruledge were the first paldean to be revealed. *ceruledge even had a Pokemon day to itself*

Conclusion

While this is just pure speculation and I could be totally wrong and we never ever get a third evo, I just think we going back to Kalos and the whole green thing and the possibility of the game being based on the past and future just seems like a perfect time to make a third evo that could represent the present. Not doing so just seems like a missed opportunity, at least to me. With Paldea and Kalos being so close to eachother I feel like it’s a possibility. 

TOO LONG DIDN’T READ YAAAWWN

We might get a third charcadet evo in legends ZA, the reason why I think this is because of the box legendaries in scarlet and violet as well as cyclizar each represent the past, future and present. I think this third knight will represent the present as well being green much like cyclizar. It will also be green because of legends ZA being green. Since we are going in Kalos again I think making a evo based on a French knight or a French sport just makes sense to me and would be a missed opportunity if they didn’t do that. 

[cinnamonest]

Do you ever plan on writing for kazuha and his snake girl cuz that pair literally stole my heart😞

YES omg I love her, our danger noodle, our nope rope, scaled and slithery babygirl

EDIT: forgot to include the link! This is a follow-up to Kazuha's entry in [this post]

-------

You don't run away.

Eventually, Kazuha felt guilty enough to finally summon the strength to do what he viewed as the right thing — let you out of the cage he had you in, give you the opportunity to walk away and go back into the wilderness. It'll hurt his heart, but he knows you'll most likely run, it's just your nature...

But you don't. You scurry out of the cage, sure, but you don't go running off. You instead shuffle over to him, wrapping your arms around him for comfort... and even after some more time passes, you still stay. And when he starts to walk, you follow. Your face seems nervous and uneasy, but you have no intentions of leaving his side.

It feels good, of course, it's a huge relief and it warms him heart... at the same time, though, he's basically made a wild creature dependent on him, and isn't that usually considered... bad? After all, if someone took an actual, normal wild animal out of nature to be a pet, people would find it distasteful, inhumane, cruel even. They'd say something about how such a creature should be home in the wild where it belongs, how it wasn't made to be kept like this.

And technically, a lot of nations have legislation against taking hybrids out of the wild if they're certain species... so he's probably violating ethics and the law. That's... well, any negative feelings he has on the matter are overridden when you bump your head against him affectionately.

No, those thoughts he was having before are wrong. You want to be with him. He saved you. You're happy. So why should he feel bad? He's doing a good thing.

From that point forward, at least he can rid himself of the guilt of feeling like he was forcing you to be with him, so, nothing left to do at that point but continue on his journey as usual, now with you in tow. He can't cover as much ground as he used to per day, as you walk a bit slower and get tired rather quickly, but... well, that's okay. You're worth it.

There's a few glaring issues with bringing you into any public space, though. For starters, inability to speak, and lack of understanding of certain conventions of normalcy that might cause you to draw attention to yourself. Moreover, now that he's thought over the legal complications, as there's hefty penalties for taking certain creatures out of the wild, he realizes he can't just go get those venom glands removed, he'd be reported, and worst of all, you'd be taken away. He'll have to just take you around where he goes and hope for the best.

But even if he can keep you under control, and make it appear that you're just quiet and shy, there's one other issue that's not dangerous or drastic, very simple and harmless in fact, but a dead giveaway nonetheless: several times per minute, your long, thin, forked tongue flickers out of your mouth. You do it in your sleep even, he would know, he's been woken up by it hitting his face before. It's only for a split second, and if it were only once, it might go unnoticed, but you do it frequently enough that someone would surely notice it very quickly. Also, there's the possibility of you yawning or otherwise opening your mouth wide while surrounded by people, and those fangs would absolutely draw immediate attention.

While he managed to get you to wear a simple cloak, getting your mouth covered is much more of a struggle. He tried a few different means of covering your mouth, letting you wear his scarf and wrapping it over the lower part of your face to see if you'd let it stay... but sure enough, after a moment, you stretched your neck and shook your head a bit to make the fabric fall down onto your collarbones, and immediately proceeded to flick your tongue out into the air. He tried buying one of those masks that covers the lower face and has straps behind each ear, but it seemed to put you in panic as you whimpered and tugged at it, and he couldn't bring himself to put you through any distress.

There was already even one time you two encountered travelers on the road, and it actually seemed to be going very well — he explained your silence with a she's not used to strangers, sorry — right up until you took a few steps towards the other human and, without hesitation, flicked your flat, forked tongue out onto their skin, to better identify the strange creature.

Ah, um, sorry, that's — it's a cultural thing, and, and ah, a-anyway, sorry, we'll be going now—

For whatever reason, your human seemed to be in a hurry to leave that interaction, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you away.

So, he's at an impasse when it comes to how to take care of his traveling needs -- he usually goes into towns every few days or so to get necessities to last until he reaches the next town. He can't just tell you to be quiet and not do anything; you may understand some basic words now, but not nearly enough to communicate complex commands.

In the end, he has to just find a secluded spot, break out and construct the collapsible cage, and leave you in it for a short time. It's very risky, and he knows that, so he's always rushing to get only the absolute bare necessities before hurrying back. He doesn't want to leave you just tied to a post or something again, that could leave you in danger if a predator found you, whereas at least a cage provides a barrier.

The first few times, you flailed and whined. He feels awful, really. I know, I know... I'm really sorry... I'll be back soon, I promise... it's okay... he buys bigger quantities so he won't need to go into town as often, tries to hunt more food, but still, he can't just live off the wilderness indefinitely.

After a while, you start to get nervous every time you come near a human town, you whimper and cling to him as if begging not to be put in the cage... it hurts his heart, too much to bear. So he has no choice — he drags you through the town, keeping you very very close with a very tight grip. You look nervous, but wildly curious, turning your head all different directions. But thankfully, the anxiety you appear to have does mean you don't leave his side. You do still curiously lean over and taste — or, wait, isn't it technically smell...? Taste and smell? Is it both at the same time? — various humans and objects with your tongue. Thankfully it doesn't get too noticed, and he just talks his way out of it — from a shelter, yes, she can't talk... what breed? Ah, well that's... the pet kind...?

Needless to say, he tries to get in and out very fast, and preferably have to speak to as few people as possible. So far there have been no major incidents, save for that one time he let go of your wrist just for a split second to grab something, turned around and panicked when you were gone, only to find you a few yards away at a produce market, looming with wide eyes over a pen full of bird eggs... thankfully he was there in an instant to grab you, lest the otherwise inevitable have happened.

On your travels, though, you actually adjust alright. At first, you were so sniffly and scared when he took you away, but it's soon overridden by awe and wonder and curiosity of the world around you, and adjusting to the places you go. Which he does have to be careful about -- obviously, northern regions are no longer an option for travel without some sort of precaution, you'd freeze fast.

Before, you were in your ideal climate and habitat, but he quickly learns through your travels that you're incredibly sensitive to changes in temperature and humidity. When you're in hot environments, though, you like to lay out in the sun.

One time when you were traversing some desert, he woke up one day to immediate panic at your absence, and ran out of the cave you'd been in, only to find you right outside the entrance, sprawled out on a rock with a content smile, basking in the sun, occasionally turning yourself over like a rotisserie to get sunlight on all your scale patches. Limbs sprawled out, presumably not instinctively knowing what else to do with them, given being half-brained of a creature with no appendages to speak of. You open your eyes and turning your head when he calls out that one word you've gotten used to.

Yes, you do, as of now, respond to that one word he says whenever addressing you, after some conditioning. It just came to him one day, very simple and short, as well as generic and common, and admittedly uncreative. He decided a one-syllable name would be easiest for you to recognize. It's more of a "cute pet name" that you would give an animal but not an actual human, but it's not like you understand what it means. Regardless, if he says it, you perk up and come over to him, so you seem to understand the word's intention and purpose.

But back to regarding the climate, he has to watch out for you at night, and be mindful of the temperature changes that occur in some regions. You're visibly miserable in the cold, start shivering and whimpering even in merely cool temperatures, and gradually become lethargic and unmoving.

The bigger problem is that warm blankets and clothes don't help. As a cold-blooded animal, your body doesn't exude heat, whereas for a human, blankets and clothes trap in the heat that the body creates. For you, clothes and blankets can serve as a barrier from cold winds, but not much else. This does not combine well with the fact that you'll freeze much faster than a person would.

Instead, you require an external heat source, namely fires and his own body that, unlike yours, radiates heat. You do cling to him at night, curling up to his body's warmth... and he doesn't mind that at all. You're not so timid of the fire anymore either. He's even gotten you used to cooked people food, and not... you know, having to watch you butcher poor mice and rabbits and swallow them whole in a rather horrifying dislocation of your jawbone. He tries to block that imagery out of his memory.

...About that, though.

Perhaps in part wanting to get a better grasp on exactly what your venom does, as well as a general curiosity to learn more about you, Kazuha finds himself seeking additional information on your kind.

He manages to scrape enough money together to visit a large bookstore in the continental mainland, scouring around and narrowing down sections to find what he's looking for (all while keeping an eye on you, of course, who is bumbling around the bookshelves with a blank stare)... nonfiction... encyclopedias... science... zoology... there. Index of Teyvat Reptiles. Should be worth the payment, hopefully.

Later that day, once you're back outside, he spends an entire evening sorting through the pages. Table of Contents... Snakes... Land Snakes... by region...

It's split into a page-by-page section where each entry makes note of the species itself as well as characteristics of hybrids for that species.

With each page, he takes a over to you — sitting beside him, staring at the book with eyes wide with curiosity yet blank with complete lack of understanding — and compares it to the illustration for that species.

No, the color of those faint patches of scales on your neck and shoulders doesn't match... no, that one has yellow eyes with pupils, not solid eyes like yours... no, that one is a constrictor...

And then there's one entry towards the very back. The scale color matches your scales and hair. The eyes are like yours. The habitat range shown on the map is very small, but it's the exact place where he found you. It's a short entry without much detail, and it's listed as endangered. There's a brief description and a bullet-point "fun facts" section under the name.

It's actually very endearing, at first. It describes your behavior very accurately, the illustration aligns with what he can tell about you. It's nice to know exactly what you are.

On your end, you're not sure what about this rectangle is so fascinating to the human, but he's been staring at it and moving the little flap pieces for some time now. There's pretty pictures, so it does pique your interest, although you're quickly getting very tired as the sun sets further.

There's a lot of little markings on the paper, which humans use for information, you know that, seeing as your human has on multiple occasions stopped to look at those wooden signs at forks in the road that have similar markings. He seems focused on it, whatever it may be...

For whatever reason, though, he suddenly seems to get a bit stiff, his shoulders tense up. You turn your gaze over to his face, still with that soft smile he always has, but it starts to twitch as his eyes get wider. And wider. And he tenses more. And more. With each movement of his eyes. Must be interesting.

...

Currently holds the title of deadliest reptile known to science. If spotted in residential areas, report to law enforcement or animal control immediately and vacate surrounding premises within one mile; non-professionals should not attempt to approach, kill, or capture. Venom injection to death time for an average adult male is around 10 to 12 seconds.

Fun fact! While these snakes usually hunt small prey, one bite is capable of killing a Sumpter beast.

As soon as his eyes finish reading the last sentence, he turns his head as he feels you shift — your mouth slowly opens into a wide, prolonged yawn, the muscular flex of the action pulling back your upper lip and exposing your long, curved fangs. You make a soft, tired sound when your mouth closes, shuffling closer to him and resting your chin on his shoulder, closing your eyes and letting yourself drift into a half-sleep state, mouth slack-jawed as you breathe onto his neck.

...But your human is twitching. He's tense, stiff. You can feel it, it's only slight, but noticeable nonetheless. This strikes you as odd — usually you're the one that shakes and shivers and trembles whenever the temperature drops to anything below warm, and you don't feel cold at all right now, given you're in a region that's warm even at night. Still, you feel an urge to help fix whatever is wrong.

He flinches a bit when you move. You lift your head up, looking into his eyes and make a soft, concerned sound. But then, you stand and take a few paces over to where all his things are set down, leaning down to rummage for a moment. Before he can follow you or call out to you, you turn back around, blanket in hand, and hurriedly make your way back over. You pull the corners of the blanket open wide and lower yourself back down, lifting and moving one foot so that you stand with one foot on each side of where he sits, and come to rest on his lap, straddling his waist, and pull the blanket back together behind him.

It takes a moment to register, but it clicks. You're doing the same thing he does for you when you're cold. Getting the blanket and holding you close to him. You even outstretch your arms and wrap them around his shoulders, rest your head on his shoulder again.

After a few moments, you pull back, looking at him and making a soft inquisitive sound, as if to check to confirm your efforts of comfort have succeeded.

And he smiles — a twitching smile, but nonetheless assuring. He raises a hand — a shaky, quivering hand — and pats the top of your head.

You soon fall asleep as usual, although he seems to stay awake for some time, more tense than usual. The tension lasts a few days — he tenses up more, flinches at touches, stiffens and swallows heavily and shudders at your touch sometimes, especially when you nuzzle your face against his neck. His hands always curl up into fists so tight they tremble.

But he never pushes you away. Never rejects how you lay your head on his lap, or on his shoulder. Sometimes his breathing gets very heavy when you move in certain ways, but he never rejects your presence. He doesn't quietly leave and run far away while you sleep, like you've sometimes feared. He stays right by your side. Day in, day out.

It's because of that, that he's right there by your side at a critical moment.

He's been mugged before, admittedly. A lot of bandits stake out rural roads, waiting for travelers to pass by that they can rob. In the past, though, he's been alone, and was easily able to blow them away and escape.

But as you pass through the desert, he can tell something is wrong. There's that sense of unease, like being watched. Could be a bandit, but also could be an animal or something... He's very on-guard, looking around, hand gripping his sword handle so it can be unsheathed within a second if needed.

There's a sound — but when he turns his head, it's just some of those desert foxes rummaging through a bush. He sighs, momentary spike in heart rate going down.

And then, you cry out, a sound of panic and distress.

And when he turns his head back, there's a man that has you in a hold from behind, arm around your chest, knife hovering above your neck. Your hands pull at his to no avail, your eyes are wide and quickly watering. You make high-pitched squealing sounds.

Give me everything you got on you. Don't try anything.

A-ah, yes, hang on. I'll get it, just... just don't...

His hands tremble, but he fetches the mora he has on him within an instant... and you, you don't grasp the nonverbal message to stay still the way a human would, you're thrashing and your feet are kicking and the man says in a gruff voice to hold still, you dumb bi—

But his words cut off.

Kazuha only hears it, as his eyes are focused on his hands pulling the coin pouch out of his pockets, but when it falls to silence, he freezes, slowly turning his head upward.

There's a moment of silence in which all present parties are frozen stiff, expressions ranging from the man's bewildered expression and your human's in wide-eyed shock — but you can't see either, both from how you've turned your head to the side, as well as how your own eyes are squeezed shut from the force of your jaw chomping down on the man's jugular.

A few more seconds pass. There's a dull thud when the knife hits the sand, and, after a moment, your own startled cry as you go down, the man's weight collapsing on top of you, sending you falling forward face-down onto the sand.

The bandit's body is heavy on top of yours, your body flat on your stomach. You wriggle and writhe, digging your elbows and clawing your fingers into the sand in an effort to crawl out from underneath it, but the composition of the sand means both actions merely cause your arms to sink into and flail in the sand that gives way to any pressure.

You turn your head up, sniffling with tears running down your face as you whimper pitifully.

Ka...Ka-thu-haa....

Your human is standing there, frozen and wide-eyed, but hearing your voice seems to make him snap out of the momentary stunned stupor.

He doesn't hesitate to hurry over to you. Drops down to his knees, pulls you out from underneath the body... gives said body a firm nudge with his foot that sends it tumbling down an incline of sand, obscuring it from immediate view from the road. You sniffle and wrap your arms and legs around him.

He's tense again. He's stiff, there's a slight tremble in his hands... but still, he doesn't move away. He keeps stroking your back up and down in a soothing motion, saying soft-spoken words you don't understand but can tell are meant to comfort you. He holds you there until you can walk again, and spends the whole night fretting over you, seemingly upset when you have a bruise from the incident.

From then on, you're very afraid of any human other than your own. They're scary creatures.

When you run into any on the road, you immediately cower behind him, grab onto him and squeeze your eyes shut, making soft distress noises. And when he drags you into towns — which you now protest, often whimpering all the while — you cling to him. He realizes you're looking to him to protect you, as if he's the deadlier force between you two, which you, for some reason, seem to believe to be the case.

As for you, in your mind, he is all that stands between you and certain death from a predatory human that would otherwise certainly get you and eat you if not for him. You've only killed rabbits and other rodents before, you don't think you could kill a human by yourself. You presume your human played a role in taking care of the bad human, probably stabbed him with the sword when you had your eyes shut. And he saved you from being crushed by the body, too. You would surely perish without his protection.

This is especially true as, you are now beginning to realize, humans are incredibly violent and powerful entities. You never noticed it before, but now you realize almost all the humans carry weapons on them. They are predatory creatures with innate natures so violent, that they attack so viciously and randomly as you have witnessed firsthand. Being a human living among other humans must be constantly frightening, they could attack at any second and you'd be done for. You've seen lots of predators, but they have to chase and repeatedly claw at prey, they don't have the same ability to stab and slash and kill so quickly, like humans with their tools.

But thankfully, you have a good one, and you trust your human will keep you safe. He's smart and strong and can talk to the other humans.

They're very scary. Unpredictable creatures that can choose to kill at a moment's notice, in an instant. It's a good thing there are no other such creatures capable of that, at least none that you can think of.

[tenebraevesper]

Knuckles (My Thoughts)

So, I have watched Knuckles, the 2024 show that basically came out yesterday, and before watching it, I have heard a lot of mixed opinions, ranging from ''the show is great'' to ''the show is awful, I hate it''. I had figured I might as well add my thoughts to the fray.

There will be spoilers in this review, so if you haven't watched the show, you had your warning.

So, for starters... this show is absolutely bonkers, and I definitely enjoyed watching it! X3

Honestly, I feel like there was a pretty good mix of comedy and action, and while there is some over the top acting, it didn't really take away from my enjoyment. It was a pretty wild ride from start to finish, and I kinda want to know what the writers were smoking during some scenes, because there were moments where things just get a bit surreal.

The show is also peppered with a lot of emotional moments, but I'll get to that bit in a moment. So far, I think people were right when they called this Sonic the Hedgehog, but it's Knuckles and Wade instead of Sonic and Tom.

The main crux of the show is that Knuckles has a bit of a crisis. He has found the Master Emerald, he has found friends in Sonic and Tails... and the only reason he's on Earth is because of that promise to them, as he clearly doesn't feel like he is at home... yet. So, how does he deal with that struggle?

Well, Pachacamac tells him what to do. Not gonna lie, even though I had expected him to appear, I was still baffled, because Pachacamac in this show is basically Oogway, Mufasa and Mr. Miyagi rolled into one. Clearly, Knuckles still holds great admiration for him, but let's remember that this was the guy who hunted down Sonic and Longclaw, leading to the mutual massacre. And now, he's a ghost that Knuckles can talk to, a lá Tikal. Kinda weird, but I think this is also the moment the show doesn't give a damn about being grounded.

Pachacamac suggests Knuckles that he should continue the legacy of the Echidnas, with Wade Whipple becoming his new protégé. Knuckles knows Wade is a loser, but he accepts, especially given Wade's determination to show everyone and their mother that he isn't some kind of loser and will become the bowling champion at the tournament in Reno, Nevada. So, he and Knuckles go on a road trip there while also being hunted down by two rogue G.U.N. agents, who want to deliver Knuckles to The Buyer, a guy who formerly worked for Robotnik and wants to use his quills to power his weapons.

Now, I will first start with the negative stuff that I noticed during the plot. Yes, people were correct, the second half of the show does focus a lot on Wade and his family rather than on Knuckles. Should it focus more on the titular character? Absolutely! Am I disappointed with what we got? Ehh... not really. Not gonna lie, I was actually quite invested in Wade's family drama.

Honestly, I can't really think of any complaint aside from the lack of Knuckles' screentime. Maybe it would've been better if the show focused on Knuckles bonding with Sonic and Tails, but it was always advertised as a Knuckles and Wade road trip, so I can't say I was lied to (not to mention, we had a whole movie of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles bonding). I suppose that another thing to add to it is the abrupt ending, although we do get a post-credits scene with Knuckles and Wade going to their next adventure, and the fact that they just don't address some plot points (like we don't know how the Wachowski family reacted to Knuckles' absence).

Well, that's my negative thoughts on the show, what's the positive stuff?

First of all, Knuckles himself - he is absolutely awesome every moment he gets! His character is on point, and he gets a lot of goofy, but also very wholesome moments. He also works very well with Wade, their personalities bouncing off each other and their interactions can turn from hilarious to absolutely heartwarming, especially when bonding over their respective lives.

I think that's a really strong point of this show - Knuckles helping Wade, in his own way, to overcome his insecurities, while just being his Echidna Warrior self. At the same time, he also learns about simple things in life, like ''what his jam is'' (to no one's surprise, it's the show's theme song, The Warrior by Scandal) or about Wade's family's traditions, as well as finally accepting that Earth is his home.

Also, Knuckles and Wade's mother beating up the bounty hunters was one of the best scenes in the show, hands down.

As I said previously, I also got quite interested in Wade's family life. I really like his mother, but his sister is a bitch, even if she stands by Wade's side. His father, not gonna lie, Pistol Pete gets the same amount of hate from me as Locke... Huh, maybe they did base Wade's father on one of the most hated characters from the Sonic Archie comics? After all, both abandoned their sons for a ''greater purpose''. In any case, it was satisfying seeing Wade beating his father in the bowling tournament and use what he learned during his journey.

Furthermore, this show is peppered with many lore bits, but the most jaw-dropping is this one:

So, if you guys don't know, this is Iblis, one of the Big Bosses of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), alongside Mephiles, and basically the main reason Silver the Hedgehog and Blaze the Cat went back to the past to save the future, with Silver fighting Sonic due to the belief that he was responsible for the apocalyptic wasteland that is Silver's future. Both Iblis and Mephiles are halves of the sun god Solaris, who was defeated by Super Sonic, Super Shadow and Super Silver.

So, in this show, in this story told to us via a rock opera arranged by Pachacamac and starring an... unconscious (dead?) Wade? *shrugs* So, yeah, in this story, apparently, Knuckles defeated Iblis with the Flames of Disaster, aka beating him up with flaming fists.

Not gonna lie, that's metal.

Also, another lore bit that is dropped is how a different alien visited Reno for a bowling tournament in 1974, which tells me either two things:

One possibility is that it was Shadow who appeared at the bowling tournament, which is but funny and pretty awesome, and now I have an image of Shadow, Maria and Gerald Robotnik wearing those bowling T-shirts.

The other possibility is that Black Doom dropped after making his deal with Gerald and decided to sign up the Black Arms for a tournament, which is just plain hilarious.

So, yeah, overall, I liked the show. Is it the best? Not really, but it is something I'd rewatch if I want something fun and wholesome.

#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

[bethanythebogwitch]

Australian Pokemon

Another set of fakemon from my Goorda region based on a mix of Australia and Aotearoa/New Zealand. Previous posts: single stages, non-natives, regional standards, creepy lines, regional variants, birds, early-game standards, misc 2, misc 1, starter variants, starters.

Plat, the Land Flounder Pokemon, poison-type. These fish Pokemon have adapted to life on land. They bury themselves under sand with only their eyes exposed. When something steps on the hidden Plat, it uses the razor-sharp edges of its fins to inject poison into the prey.

Plat evolves to Plumerang, the Sky Flounder Pokemon, flying/poison-type. Unlike the landlocked, ambush predator Plat, Plumerang has learned to fly through the sky by spinning its body in a strange, looping motion. They chase after flying prey, using their razor-sharp fins to poison them. When the poison causes the prey to fall out of the sky, Plumerang will descend on them. Humans in the past trained Plumerang to act as living weapons.

Plat and Plumerang are based on flounders. Plat is also based on the stonefish, an extremely venomous Australian fish that is easy to step on due to its camouflage. Plumerang is based on flying fish and boomerangs. Much like how Plumerang was used as a weapon, boomerangs were originally invented to act as weapons. Their name comes from "Pleuronectiformes" (the flounder family) plus "flat" and "boomerang".

Tormite, the Termite Pokemon, bug-type. Tormite live and work in giant hives made from soil blued together with saliva. They mix together explosive chemicals in their abdomens. They can release these chemicals from their rear ends, spending them rocketing mandibles-first at enemies.

Tormite evolves to Myrpaga, the Army Ant Pokemon, bug-type. Myrpaga are the primary defenders of the hive. They create tubes out of dirt and plant material glued together with saliva. A Tormite sits in this tube, which is used to fire it at threats to the hive as a living missile. Myrpaga's antennae contain lenses that it uses to help aim.

Female Myrpaga evolves to Myrmartill, the Walking Hive Pokemon, bug-type, if said Myrpaga levels up when the trainer has 5 Tormite on their team. Rarely seen in the wild, Myrmartill only appear when the hive has to relocate. It carries the hive on its back and defends itself with twin turrets that fire barrages of Tormite at enemies. Nothing will get in the way of Myrmartill as it looks for a new place for the hive to live.

The Tormite line are based on ants and termites (which I genuinely thought were related to each other. Turns out they aren't) mixed with military technology. Chemical weapons are commonly used by ants and termites in defense of their hives. Tormite is a living rocket-propelled grenade and takes influence from the bombardier beetle. Myrpaga and Myrmartill are based on army ants. True army ants are native to South America, but a species with similar behavior is native to Australia. Myrpaga is a a soldier holding a rocket launcher while Myrmartill is a mix of armored troop transport and artillery cannon. Tormite comes from "termite", "torment", and "torpedo". Myrpaga comes from "myrmex" (Grrek for ant") and "RPG". Myrmartill comes from "myrmex" and "artillery".

Sparquoll, the Sparking Pokemon, fire/electric-type. When Sparquoll runs, sparks are released from its feet that leave a trail of embers in its wake. It will climb trees to shock bird Pokemon out of the air, then finish them with a burst of flames.

Sparquoll evolves to Sparkinina, the Sparking Pokemon, fire/electric type. Sparkinina has a unique organ that functions both as a flame sac and generator of electricity. This allows Sparkinina to produce both intense flames and powerful electric shocks. It chases down prey and immobilizes it with electric shocks, before dealing a fiery bite as a finishing blow.

Sparquoll and Sparkinina are based on quolls and Tasmanian devils, carnivorous marsupials that are related to each other. Spark can refer both to fire and electricity, so a fire/electric type seems like a fairly obvious combination. Their names come from "spark", "quoll", and "purinina" (the Palawa Kani language word for Tasmanian devils). Also, Sparkinia learns Twister as a shout-out to Loony Tunes.

I have some more fakemon in the works, so another post should come out within a few days