#a very emotional experience. 10/10 recommend.

[m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e]

Mild Life is Strange spoilers (?)

The majority of Chapter 5 of LIS (besides the very end of course) is what I imagine a bad trip feels like

[thefaestolemyname]

I've always hated existentialism - coping with a meaningless world by creating your own meaning would mean the world wasn't meaningless in the first place.

But I get it now.

Not just because I realize now that's a gross oversimplification and have a bit more understanding on what existentialism really professes,

But I understand.

The fear of death and the acute sense of a lack of purpose or value in life.

And in that paradoxical, crushing, empty feeling, realising that in the face of such a callous and tragic existence, love is as real as ever, and so worth doing.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

When it comes to healthcare, you’ll occasionally encounter things presented as an opinion or as something up for debate - when there’s actually clear scientific facts on those topics. 

You can probably think of some general examples off the top of your head, like: 

Vaccines (They save lives. In fact, they are one of the most effective tools for reducing mortality rates worldwide) 

Pasteurized milk (Raw milk is not healthier than pasteurized milk, it’s actually unsafe. Pasteurization kills harmful bacteria which can cause severe illness) 

Fluoride (Water fluoridation is a safe and effective public health measure) 

Climate change (It exists and directly impacts respiratory and cardiovascular health)

“Detox” (The liver and kidneys detox your body naturally; detox teas, juice cleanses etc. are unnecessary) 

Cancer (Cancer isn’t just one disease, it’s an umbrella term for many different diseases and that’s why it’s very, very difficult, if not impossible, to just find the one simple fix to end cancer forever) 

Sugar substitutes (They have been extensively studied and are safe for consumption within recommended limits) 

There’s a lot of misinformation out there and it often thrives because it plays on fears (such as the natural fear of illness, dangerous substances and life-threatening side effects). Nobody wants to willingly put themselves or their loved ones into danger - but this absolutely natural desire for protection can be exploited. 

Some common tactics for that are: 

relying on personal anecdotes (emotional stories often feel more reliable or trustworthy than cold, hard data, even though they aren’t) 

appealing to those who distrust authority (the suggestion that governments/scientists/corporations/“they” are conspiring against you feels trustworthy if it seemingly “confirms” fears you already had) 

misusing scientific terminology (Complex-sounding terms can make something appear credible and well-researched, even if these terms are used completely incorrectly) 

giving quick, easy answers or fixes to complex problems (health is a complicated, multifaceted topic and there’s oftentimes no easy-cut answer to why a certain person gets sick or if a now-healthy person will still be as healthy in 10 years. This unpredictability can feel scary, and oversimplified answers can offer comfort) 

While health myths impact anyone, they disproportionately affect marginalized groups - for example chronically ill or disabled people but also our community.  

That’s because health myths (or outright health lies) can perpetuate stigma and create barriers to accessing evidence-based care. 

Myths specifically targeting queer health often follow the same patterns we talked about above. Let's take a closer look at some common topics and break down the facts behind them: 

Pedophilia (There is no evidence linking sexual orientation or gender identity to pedophilia or predatory behavior. This myth is rooted in bigotry and perpetuates harmful stereotypes) 

HIV/AIDS (it’s not “the gay disease” or even a “punishment for being gay”. It’s a virus that can affect people of all genders and sexual orientations) 

Regret rates (Regret rates for gender-affirming care are very low, even lower than for getting a new hip or a tattoo.) 

Regret rates, 2.0 (“Regret” does not automatically translate to “they were wrong about being trans”. A trans person could regret medical decisions for a multitude of reasons (even external factors like a lack of social support or experience of harassment) and still continue to identify as trans) 

Mental illness (The higher rate of mental health issues in queer people is caused by external factors like discrimination and social exclusion, not by the identity itself. Being queer is not a mental illness.) 

Conversion therapy (It doesn’t work. It also causes severe psychological harm including an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide) 

Treating these myths as not “only” homophobia and transphobia but also as health misinformation may feel nitpicky, but I think it’s important. If we don’t, it’s easy to dismiss them as merely a matter of “not accidentally saying something offensive” - but there’s more at stake than hurt feelings. Health misinformation can prevent people from getting the medical care they need and put their lives at risk. And that applies to “Trans people often regret their surgeries” as much as it does to “Covid vaccines are dangerous”. 

So, look out for those typical patterns and warning signs - not only in the general “health and wellness” area but also in discussions about queer issues. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[abbyfmc]

Yanderetober 7/10

Yandere Scientific Abomination! x Female Scientist! Reader:

TW: Mention of torture, stalking and murder. MDNI +18!!

It's been some time since you left the abandoned premises of the old psychiatric hospital.

You were one of the low-level scientists who bragged about how they experimented on people, mostly men and women of different ages, who were criminals sentenced to life imprisonment or capital punishment, or who were mentally ill.

You saw how cold and sometimes cruel they were with the "patients" (experiment subjects), but your superiors forced you to keep quiet about what happened there in exchange for paying you very well and giving you good future recommendations. You tolerated it to a certain extent because of the needs you faced at that time.

Among all the subjects, there was him.

His name was Alan, and he was a psychiatric patient who developed amnesia and post-traumatic stress disorder after the heartbreaking loss of his family, leaving him alone as a survivor.

Of all of them, you were the one who treated everyone the best, including Alan. You once stopped him from attempting suicide with pills, something he deeply admired about you.

You felt sorry for what they did to him, and more than once you tried to help him, but your superiors had you under threat and surveillance, which limited your options. This, added to the fact that Alan tragically lost his family; his loneliness, depression, the guilt he felt, the torture he faced day after day and the little affection you gave him; made him fall madly in love with you. At first he developed simple emotional dependence, but ended up becoming obsessed with you.

Sooner or later you started to notice changes in his appearance.

-What… happened to you?- You asked him in bewilderment, watching strange lumps form on his face, neck, and back.

-Oh, (Y/n)!, nice to see you again!- He sat on the bed, smiling at you like a happy lover. -I don't really know what these bumps are, but they bother me a lot.- They looked like early stages of a fungus or skin cyst formations, leaving visible veins and arteries and taking on a fleshy red hue. This was just the beginning.

He grew hungrier and hungrier as his appearance grew worse and bigger. Every time you went to see him, you swore he barely let you leave the room until you ran away or escaped.

His mental state also worsened, and with it his obsession with you. You were practically the only thing that kept him sane until that fateful day.

Alan had completely mutated and turned into a complete monster, becoming the yandere scientific abomination that he eventually became. He brutally murdered the vast majority of the staff, including some subjects of future experiments who had tried to escape.

You were one of the only people who managed to save themselves.

Local authorities tried hard for years to cover up this event, but other survivors (apart from you), speculation, myths, legends and the internet itself made this impossible and slowly the history of the place and what may have caused its closure began to be revealed.

But what they didn't know was that there was a monster on the loose; or they didn't know that at first.

You, on the other hand, were looking for a way to continue with your life despite your traumas from that place. After your superiors died in that massacre, you made an anonymous report on the internet telling EVERYTHING that happened within the walls of that center, and then you moved to another city. Despite all the therapy you took, you never returned to normal.

-(Y/n)! Where are you?!- He wondered as he searched for you in and out of that facility. No matter how much he screamed your name or how much he trashed the rooms and furniture in the place, he just couldn't find you anywhere.

While you tried to continue with your life, Alan was looking for you after escaping from abandoned facilities, which made several of their sightings noticed.

The scientific/Alan abomination was looking for you everywhere. It was hidden in forests, alleys, warehouses or abandoned/lonely or forest sites; He hunted wild animals, unsuspecting domestic animals, rodents, plants and human beings that was on his way.

You were no stranger to these sightings, having come across photos and videos online, which made you even more paranoid. The photos showed a humanoid mass of reddish flesh, with multiple eyes in what were once "cysts"; living roots sprouted from several limbs, and it also had sharp teeth. What terrified you the most was that this thing was looking for you.

-"That creature often asks for a certain (Y/n)"-.

-"Yes, he usually calls her out loud, but why?"- And that's how your name came up again on those internet forums. You were afraid people would find out, especially now that you had a decent job.

Time passed and Alan didn't find you until he managed to move to your current city thanks to the lush forests between cities; taking a while to locate you.

One night, you woke up at 3:00 AM to strange noises outside your house. Frightened, you grabbed your phone and a bat and headed to your living room.

There is nothing to be heard but the clumsy footsteps of whoever was outside; the rain and your own footsteps, as well as your nervous breathing. Suddenly, there is a soft knock on the door.

You looked through the small hole in the front door and your body froze at the sight of Alan on the other side, making you jump in fear.

-<No... It can't be...>- You said in your thoughts in a terrified way, feeling your breathing accelerate at the appearance of his macabre smile.

-(Y/n), darling, i know you're there- He whispered in his guttural voice, then slammed the door and entered.

-I found you- Before you can do anything, he lunges at you and forces you to throw the bat and your phone away, breaking both objects.

-Let me go! I didn't mean to hurt you! My superiors…- You tried to excuse yourself with fear, but he only replied:

-They forced you, I know. What matters now is that you are with me again, as it should always have been.- With his long tongue he tasted your face as he held you motionless on the ground. You didn't know what he planned to do to you; whether to eat you whole, simply kill you, or spread any spores he could on you.

But one thing was certain, and that was that Alan would never let you go again.

-The End.

[poorly-written-fiction]

a little bit too much - logan howlett x fem!reader

A/N: i saw @journal3sposts post about logan with his young, tipsy, hypersexual little girlfriend who can't keep her hands to herself in the car. the post spoke to me on a very deep, emotional level. so i threw this fic together. it doesn't actually end in smut, i do have some minor discomfort writing dubious consent content, mostly because i don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable. but if this is received well and i don't get bricks theown at me i will write something properly spicy. this is also the first piece of writing i'm posting publicly in 10 years so please have some patience with me. also despite being 22 years old and being a casual alcohol drinker, i do not drink at bars, so my idea of going to bars is based solely on the experiences of others + what i've seen in movies and tv shows. apologies, i'm sorry i'm lame.

tags: not quite smut, but very suggestive (18+, MDNI), alcohol consumption (reader is 21+), age gap (legal, but let's be honest, every relationship with logan is an age gap relationship) fem!reader (no specific descriptions of appearance), reader is handsy, logan is a little more responsible, some spelling/grammar errors probably i'm too tired to check

Logan loved taking Y/N to bars. She was fun without alcohol, but after a few drinks she was truly a sight. Logan would joke that she kept him young with her shenanigans. She would drink and dance, and flirt - oh good lord, she would flirt. She would run her hands up and down his arms, run her fingers through his hair, any excuse she had to touch Logan, she'd take it. She'd take a shot, then kiss him immediately after - or kiss him right after he took a drink of his own drink. Usually it was beer, but he occasionally got whiskey when he was in the mood for it.

One particular night, Logan and Y/N were at a bar playing a game at one of the billiards tables. It wasn't a grimy place, but definitely not one of the nicest places either of them had gone to. It was comfortable enough - the music didn't play too loud and the drinks were good, and strong. Logan sipped a glass of whiskey, while Y/N tried whatever the bartender had suggested when she asked for a recommendation. That was another thing Logan liked about her, she would try almost anything at least once. After a drink of her own, a celebratory shot for winning the game, and a few sips she had snuck from Logan's glass, she was well on her way to stumbling a little more when she walked. She clung to Logan like a crutch, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her close to him so she wouldn't fall or wander too far. Y/N grabbed Logan by the collar of his flannel shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. A long, hard, meaningful kiss. There was never any doubts that they loved each other, but they don't call alcohol "liquid truth" for nothing.

"We better get you home, darlin'." Logan paid the tab and scooped up Y/N, carrying her bridal style to the old truck. "Can you grab the door for me, princess?" Y/N pulled the handle, and Logan got her settled inside, pressing a kiss to her temple when he buckled her seatbelt. When he made sure she was secure, he shut the door and made his way over the driver's side. He hopped in, turned the key, and started back for home.

The ride back was comfortably quiet. Not a lot of conversation, just the sounds of the road and some generic country song played inaudibly on the radio. Logan drove with one of his hands on Y/N's thigh, occasionally rubbing it with his thumb and smiling at her. She'd smile back, her head still feeling fuzzy from the outing, but she was in good hands, and she was happy. It didn't take long before they were stopped at a red light that held for just a little bit longer than some of the others, and Y/N slid one of her hands over Logan's chest.

He smiled, shaking his head, "What are you doing there, baby?"

Y/N just smiled back, mumbling something along the lines of, "I'm just feeling you. You're so handsome."

Logan smiled before leaning over and kissed his lover, her breath still smelling faintly of alcohol. It wasn't off-putting, just a subtle reminder that she wasn't completely sober. Y/N couldn't contain herself, moaning quietly into the kiss and running her hands down to his belt, fumbling with it. Logan put one of his hands over hers, moving them away gently.

"Babygirl, we can't do that right now," Logan pressed his forehead against hers, smiling apologetically. He couldn't deny that he didn't like the contact or the way Y/N would practically throw herself at him. But, he didn't want to take advantage - or feel like he was taking advantage - especially because she was so much younger than he was. Almost everyone Logan knew was younger than him, but Y/N almost made it too obvious that there was a significant age difference between the two. He didn't mind it too much, obviously because they had been dating for a while, but his moral compass still steered him away from fucking her while she was this intoxicated.

Y/N pouted, moving her hands back up to his chest, "What about when we get home? I want you so badly, Lo..."

He kissed her forehead, and rubbed her thigh gently, not with intention of teasing her, but instead as a way to soothe her. "You're not sober enough, darlin'. It wouldn't be right. If you feel up for it in the morning, we can try again."

"But it's okay, I love you, it would be okay." Y/N's head was just spinning with the idea of Logan touching her. He shook his head, gave her soft thigh a light squeeze, and the light turned green. Logan pressed on the gas, and continued his drive home.

"If you feel up for it in the morning, I'd be more than happy to give you what you want. For tonight, we need to get you into bed, doll."

========================================

A/N: thank you for reading, if you did! suggestions, questions, comments and concerns are always appreciated okay bye!

[thaltro]

helloo ! ive been wanting to ask if you have any specific tips or things to focus on while writing characters with DID ! im not a system myself but psychology in general has been a topic that ive always been interested in and want to depict it to the best of my ability + i love your art and wish you the best ^^

Good question!

Writing about DID/OSDD is incredibly difficult- even I a system probably couldn’t do it, but I can give you some advice regardless. Obviously saying “research” is expected, but finding good research on it is hard. As always I recommend as a starter for understanding the fundamentals of the disorder : “The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and Treatment of Chronic Traumatization” just look that up and I’m sure you can find it on the internet archive or docdriod. As a rule of thumb don’t trust system tiktok, tumblr, carrds, or any personal account to get the majority of your information from just because there’s an incredible amount of misinformation (of course there’s plenty others on there who probably know what they are talking about, but I’d always recommend using credible peer reviewed sources.)

With the research disclaimer thing out of the way here’s a few points:

-It’s a trauma based disorder, everything is structured around trauma. Not just a singular trauma but repeated emotional, physical, and typically sexual trauma that is experienced under the age of 10 (You don’t need all three, just a lot of systems experience a mix of trauma) To write DID/OSDD right you should be able to write child traumatization accurately and be comfortable with writing it.

-There is a vast amount of different experiences with DID/OSDD. There are varying levels of amnesia, alter presentations, system structures etc. not all systems use plural terms, have names for alters, or have much personality differentiation between alters. The experience of a Osdd1a system will be different to a DID system, so you’d probably want to look into the specifics of those differences and stick to one type of system.

-Try to avoid misconceptions and DID tropes in media. The most obvious one I can think of is “the evil alter” trope, there’s quite a lot of demonization of the disorder so you have to be critical when viewing media depicting it (fuck the split movie).

-unless it’s apart of a character arc avoid the uncritical idea that alters are just their source. it’s healthy for them to branch out and expand from their baseline purpose and identity.

As for things I’d like to see in DID/OSDD rep it’d be:

-representing extreme denial

-loss of time

-source separation would be cool

-fusion and dormancy being mentioned

A lot of media hyper focuses on Alters when that is only one aspect of system hood. I think I’d be cool to look at the other symptoms.

But overall, it would be a really hard task to write a system especially without being one. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it’s easy to fall into misrepresentation even if it’s well meaning (it’s easy to do that even if a person is a system, that’s why I’m too scared to write it) If you are going to do it, do a very thorough amount of research before you develop an idea of a character. I know I sound really upset at the idea, I’m not I do really like the idea of representation- but DID/OSDD is such a stigmatized disorder that you have to be so so so careful not to add onto the stigma. I do believe it’s possible to do it right though! I wish you luck and thank you for the compliment.

[inkyquince]

Sincerely, Bailey (Commission)

characters. Bailey. (Hinted Briar. And Harper is Bcc'd out of worry)

cw. implied drunken bailey. violence, both physical and sexual. angry emotional bailey. mentions of sex trafficking, Robin slander. dubious consent of treatment of pc.

notes. Letter Commission for PippyLI! Once again, SO sorry how long it took to get out, having to do IRL stuff for a year basically sucked. Hope you enjoyed angry emotional Bailey! Thank you! Sorry i was FIGHTING to get this into an email format but oh my god it wasn't working at all.

From: CaretakersForYourNeeds@ub.com 

To: thorns@ub.com

Subject: 50% off Paneling for your Home, 5 Star Reviews Draft

B, look over this draft before I send it. 

Hello Customer! 

We are having a big sale on our boys coming in and sprucing up your home! Spend over £250 on our service and we shall knock off £20 to a whole new paint job for a whole room! Then £10 off for every third room painted! Spend over £500 on our service and we shall install new radiators for half price! 

Enough of that. If your wife reads further than that paragraph of what’s an obvious spam email, she’s too stupid to to be alive. Get rid of her and stop wasting my time. 

This is more of a courtesy email about your inquiry into one of our selections, number 209. I’ve been the caretaker of numbers 191 to 220 for a long time, and I can personally attest that that product is not suited for what you’ve outlined you wish to do. I know on their file it recommends consumers should enjoy taming, sadism, bondage at most in order to get any use out of them. However, in my professional opinion, they should be taken off the list and left to the gropers and rapists wandering the town, and the customers at the brothel. 

In my personal experience, they would have benefited to be put directly into the brothel  or the farm right away. Give them hands-on experience immediately rather than wasting time making them make money by themselves. They started out very promising in the beginning, very malleable but have proven to be a nuisance to both myself and the people around them. Either that or be put permanently underneath my care to make sure minor annoyances are kept at a minimum. 

They refuse to behave, even under threat of assault or worse. I do not think that anyone other than myself could handle them. Now, before I get a complaint from you, no, it’s not because I’m their caretaker and have paternal feelings towards them. I’ve watched them get their cunt stretched out by strange cocks too much to care about if they have a good time having sex. I would be helping the public by keeping them under lock and key. 

So my counter offer will be to take their friend, #201 in return. A whiny crybaby who reacts well to sadism. Of course, you might have to deal with them trying to save the little shit, but we don’t cover fees to do with losing a product halfway through your paid time. Just a warning. For a price of 30% of your original payment I could keep them busy so there’s no chance of missing out on your full 12 hours of paid time. 

I would be prepared to spend those 12 hours showing them exactly what happens when you don’t listen the first time. I’ve noticed that they become pliant to a rough fuck the longer it goes on, if they’re allowed to bite and get a few scratches in. No better than a mewling beast once all their thoughts go to their clit. They also seem fixated on riling me up enough to drag them down and fuck them. With other’s they bite and scratch and use pepper spray (I have no idea where they keep getting these, the supply in town is very limited), but despite the threats of shipping them off to the brothel or to a close friend, they instead fight. But no, they don’t fight me in a coherent, normal way, no, they’re diving for my cock and trying to make me cum while I’m trying to teach them to pay their rent on time. 

They love it. They love angering me, they love going into my office, they love offering up their body for a “one time” extension, even though they keep doing it, no matter how many times I ruin them against my desk, their cunt gripping me so tightly. Maybe they have a fucked up crush, or maybe they’re just sick in the head. 

But I can’t get rid of them, they bring in so much mney that I can’t kick them out. They bring in rent, they keep the other little shits quiet and they’re so fuckin good at their job that I have insane fuckheads like you asking personally to request them. But who cares, they clamp around a cock disgustingly tight, they suck down cock like it’ll divorce them if they don’t and now I have to write this breakdown on why you can’t experience that at 3am and getting hard while I do it. I never fuck orphans but apparently they live to make my day miserable and start off with a double of vodka with no fuckin mixer. All because some fuck came in after being kicked in the dick by this little shithead and wanted his fucking money back. I have to write fucking disclaimers now. What the fuck. 10 years ago we didn’t have to do this shit. What do you mean I have to spend 12 hours of my day fucking this Bin Baby so that they won’t wander away and save the most annoying boy I’ve ever met? What the fuck. The other day I had to fucking jerk off to when they buried their face in my crotch and whined for my dick. If it was anyone else, I’d kick them in the crotch until they would have to go to hospital. 

I have no idea what fucking crack their mother was smoking before throwing them in the dumpster but now I’m stuck with a little asshole who loves my dick and won’t fucking behave. You want to fuck that? Try to and you won’t be fucking found. I will fucking wring that stupid addictive scent of their body, their cunt, out of your skin, and sell it to the nearest freak. You want Morgan wearing your fucking skin for touching them? I’ll take your teeth so no one will ever fucking find you, but who would care, your wife? The one who might read a spam email? And doesn’t care that your dick hasn’t worked except for when she shit out your crotch spawn? You think I won’t fuck you up for the sake of your kids who are older than my fucking orphan? 

Fuck you and your ugly fucking kids. 

Sincerely, 

Blailey

P.S briar should i also add that if you stick your thumb in their asshole they tighten up enough that i can see stars? that the first time i fucked them i fucking said that their body always belonged to me? and it fuckin was and still is. i should break their stupid little boyfriend’s nose for thinking they own that little slut. the smell of their shower wash is fuckin insane but it isnt. makes me want to fuck their thighs and make them walk around all day smelling of cum. briar who even is this stupid fuck. 

From: thorns@ub.com

To: me

Bcc: Harper@nhs.com

Subject: RE: 50% off Paneling for your Home, 5 Star Reviews Draft

An insane person wrote this. No client will buy anything after reading this. Stop it.

-B

P.S. you misspelled money, as well as your own name. How. Are you smoking something that you aren’t sharing with the class? Also have you ever even heard of an oxford comma? Eden was the drop out, not you.

P.P.S. Don’t punch kids. Also stop drinking. 

[astrobei]

hi i love your fics and I was wondering if you had any byler fic recs

thanks

hello there! in all honesty, i have not had the time to read a lot of byler fic as of late, but it’s been a while since i posted some recs so i’ll drop a few that i’ve enjoyed recently! as always, i do endorse every fic in my bookmarks to the highest possible degree, so always feel free to look through those for new reading as well <3

say it with your hands by pseudologia (@hellfiremike) — will is a new employee at the movie theater mike works at, and mike starts thirsting over will’s hands to a degree that’s downright detrimental to his employment status

GOD. this fic. i gushed in their dms immediately after finishing it because this might be my favorite modern will characterization of all time, and this is coming from someone who has a million and one takes on modern era will byers. this fic just checked all of my boxes — from the summertime romance to mike’s painfully in-character teenage angsting to will being a frequenter of star wars reddit threads and an enjoyer of sufjan stevens. and the TENSION. oh god the tension. i’ve read all their fics probably three times over each, and i also highly recommend like i am home again, a college au set during a halloween party which made me stare at my phone refreshing ao3 hourly until it updated, and can this be a real thing (can it?) wherein mike and will reunite in a gay bar. enough said

landslide by chamb3rs — the party’s senior year of high school

i don’t often reach for chaptered fics since i usually have such limited reading time, but i’m sooo so so happy i stumbled across this one. there have just been very few fics that have touched me like this one did. i blew through this in one sitting a few weekends ago and subsequently experienced the full range of human emotions (and then some) all in the span of a few hours. everything about this was perfect — the will pov, the weird liminality of transitional periods, the party and byhop family dynamics, down to my favorite portrayal of theeeee jennifer hayes in any fic ever. on top of all of that, this fic perfectly captures the heartbreaking euphoria of being in love with your best friend, and all the ups and downs that come with it. i crawled out of the ao3 tab covered in blood and my chest was hurting and i was shaking and i had damn near chewed my own arm off — and then i sent the link to my friend 10 minutes later and watched her experience the same exact thing like a train wreck in slow-mo HAHAHA

what a time to be alive by passerine_in_jade (@newlesbianprideflag) — will disappears and haunts mike from the upside down

i’m forever a total sucker for a good haunting metaphor, so it’s absolutely not a surprise that this fic is appearing on this list. the premise for this was so so so cool and interesting, and it’s another chaptered fic i’m glad i had a little extra time to read. the way the author had me rooting for mike and will the whole time even though half of the pairing was offscreen for a large majority of the fic is a highly commendable feat. mike’s unyielding loyalty to will and will’s constant faith in him felt so true to their canon selves, and there were so many moments that were so quiet and intimate and tender that i really felt like i was intruding on something. good good stuff

that’s what you get for falling in love by harriet_vane — will gets his first boyfriend in college, and mike, ever the ally, has very normal feelings about it

i want to preface this by saying that this fic is rated m, mostly just for mentions/allusions to sex, and one largely non-explicit portion of a scene in the last chapter. if that’s not your cup of tea, it’s easy to tell when it’s coming up and to skip past it without detracting from the plot, but i think it would be a greater detriment to not rec this fic at all, because it has quickly made the list of my favorite byler fics of all time. something about this take on jealous mike especially resonated with me — his inner monologue is simultaneously hilarious and depressing, and his obliviousness regarding his feelings for will feels so true to life without being overdone or cartoonish. you can tell just how much they really care for each other, and the conflict in this actually made me start crying because it felt so visceral and so fundamentally them. you can tell this author really understands their characters, and the love put into this fic is soooo palpable. it’s the kind of fic where you want to bonk their heads together to knock some sense into them, but you are helpless to do anything but hold on as you’re swung along for the ride.

finally, i try not to just rec fics written by my friends, but my recent reading list would be incomplete without these two wonderful additions:

the way you love me by strangeswift (@strangeswift) — byler exes (absolutely heartwrenching edition)

i’ve been hearing abby talk about her ideas for this fic for the better part of a year as she worked on it, and she actually edited and posted the first two chapters while i was visiting her! and by god is this world a better place with her byler exes concept in it, because if you want angst, you’ll never have to look further than her ao3 page. something about the way she writes will in this fic just makes my heart shrivel up and die in my chest — his quiet resignation, the bitterness (always love a good bitter will byers moment) and the Longing that never quite went away. mike’s characterization is also top notch, and you can really feel the chemistry between them during every interaction. at the time of me posting this list, chapter 4 is not yet up, but trust me when i tell you guys it’s going to soooooo be worth it. :-)

the end is here by bookinit (@bookinit02) — a speculative byler-centric season 5

if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that haven’s canon rewrite series is hands-down my favorite series across any pairing and fandom. her creativity with her season 5 concepts never fails to astound me — from the scripts she’s been working on as an alternative to the episodes she rewrote for s1-4, to her ideas for possible plot lines, and just incredible writing all around. i’ve had the privilege of reading through her scripts before she posts them to her blog (definitely go check them out) but special privilege bias aside, it takes soooo much skill to create such a visually powerful story in a medium that allows for such little narration, and the corresponding chapters just totally pushes it over the edge. pre-s5 required reading for every byler, and 100000% my new canon if the show doesn’t pan out

this definitely is not an exhaustive list because i have a million and one fics on my to-read, and one day i will get around to reading them all, but i hope there is something on this list that strikes your fancy!!

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Hi, I'm new to BL.

Have watched kiseki, the Japanese drama with the unlucky student, and now Pit Babe. I'm bored with too innocent dramas and I prefer adult story lines with good chemistry. Do you have some favorites from recent years? Would love to look up some titles.

The hornier the better 😉

Uhhh, nice ask! For the answer I made up two categories: the ones with mature storylines and the horny ones. Of course, the two categories overlap in places, but the categorisation was helpful for me for a better horny classification 😅 There are incredibly good series for both groups. And I'm happy to talk about them.

Let's start with the mature ones. And just so you know, this is going to be a very long list 😅

The Mature-List

180 Degree Longitute Passes Through Us

This series had us under its peculiar spell in 2022. I would rate the horny scale at 1/10, the chemistry between the two mains is terrific and the tension cutting, but that's not what this theatrical masterpiece is about. It's about acceptance, grief, guilt and the fact that all of this can either destroy you or make you grow and emerge stronger. Highly recommended.

Ghost Host, Ghost House

The series starts off rather funny and strange and develops over time into a profound story about grief, letting go and healing. It's all somewhat broken up by a love story with incredibly good chemistry and very nice NC scenes. These two can kiss! And yet nothing is easy and grief takes time and only when you have been able to mourn you can heal.

Goodbye, Mother

Nau Van travels back to his home country of Vietnam with his partner. Instead of telling the family that they are a couple, they are caught in the middle of a family drama. The film is very emotional, the characters are well drawn and the story told is touching and well written. If you want to watch something different from the "standard" series, you've definitely come to the right place. Highly recommended, but watch out for triggers such as violence and homophobia.

Happy Ending Romance

I would go out on a limb and say that the gif may be a little misleading here. On a horny scale, the series would be in the lower range. But it's still quite progressive for Korea. The story is very intricate and you have to be careful not to miss anything. An aspiring writer, disappointed and deceived by the publishing world, hides behind his own walls and those built by his partner, a well-known and celebrated author. Until a young publisher sneaks into our writer's life and tries to lure him out of hiding so that the world can experience his genius. Maybe it's the fact that it's about publishing and writing or because I just think the publisher with his fuzzy head and sunshine smile is so cute, but I loved the series!

I Feel You Linger In The Air

Horny? At times, yes. Mature? Definitely. A tragic story set in a past in which homosexuality was frowned upon and the male descendant was expected to take over the business and live his life according to the ideas of the head of the family. And that's where our protagonist Jom, a heartbroken young man from the current century, is thrown in by an accident. He meets Yai, a young man with whom he shares a very special bond. The chemistry between these two is outstanding and the characters are so well written. Such a beautiful series!

Innocent

I must admit, I was a little bit confused when I first started this miniseries. I put it to the side and some time later I started it again. And it finally clicked. It's not an easy series and yet it can give you back your faith in love and trust. Yu Shi has some really bad trauma from his childhood, but chooses to stay witth Wu Zheng and the latter is patient enough for Yu Shi to trust him enough for Noah to accept him in his life.

La Pluie

This series divides opinion. Some find it consistently terrific and well-written and others may have problems with one or two characters. I belong to the latter group, which spoilt the series for me towards the end, but I would still list it here. Because tastes are different and absolutely subjective. You should form your own opinion here. The bottom line is that La Pluie is about soul mates and whether it's something you choose yourself or something that is predetermined. The NC scenes are delicate and appealing and the basic idea behind the series was actually very interesting. It's thought-provoking and packaged in nice pictures.

Life: Love on the line (Director's Cut)

Itou Akira and ishi Yuuki meet on their way to school while walking on the white line. They become friends and fall in love. What follows is a portrayal of their lives as they struggle through high school and college and eventually arrive in adult life. And as in every life, there are obstacles and problems and the older and bigger you get, the bigger the problems become. A film well worth seeing.

Long Time No See

What happens when a contract killer falls in love and the person he's dating isn't necessarily who he claims to be? An excellent film in any case, peppered with a nice story, good NC scenes, great chemistry between the actors, a sister as the best mood enhancer and also very well choreographed violence. In other words, everything you could wish for. And I can't and don't want to say any more, otherwise I could spoil important things and we don't want that.

Moonlight Chicken

EarthMix with a very aesthetic NC scene right in the first episode? Oh yes! But apart from the fact that the two of them really surprised me in this series, Moonlight Chicken simply blew me away with its storytelling, the depth of the individual stories, the well-drawn characters and the emotions that the individual stories evoked in me. The series tells stories about new beginnings, about letting go of the past, about trust, about acceptance, about grief and anger and about finding relationships where you didn't expect to at first and that love can't cure everything, but it can make life a little more bearable.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Old Fashion Cupcakes is a story about adults for adults. It's a comforting series that gives you courage and makes you realise that you're never too old to enjoy life. Besides, the two of them eat the most delicious things and I'm constantly hungry while watching. It is so good to see Nozue open up to Togawa and let the younger one lead him back into life.

Rec

I went into the film without any great expectations. And after the first few minutes, I actually thought that it was just a couple who like to film themselves having s'x. But at some point I was so captivated by the depth of the film. I was really touched at the end and understood why the two of them indulged themselves so excessively and filmed it. I can't put the film on the horny list because it would somehow be out of place there.

The Sign

A current series about two cops who realise that they are connected by past lives. Fate wanted them to fall in love and so they now have to overcome the hurdles that this love entails together. Because in earlier times, this love between Naga and Garuda was forbidden. Yes, there are a few mystical elements built in and they look pretty cool! The two mains have no problems with closeness and the NC scenes are some of the best out there.

Before we move on to the horny list, a few shout-outs for good series, which I didn't want to write about in detail:

Light

Plus and Minus

Manner of Death

Step by Step

Jack o'Frost

My Tooth Your Love

Papa & Daddy

Tokyo in April is...

My Personal Weatherman

The New Employee

To My Star (1+2)

Triage

Our Dating Sim

We are now leaving the mature series and moving on to the horny list (mostly with serious topics).

The Horny-List

Bed Friend

In addition to really good NC scenes, there is a lot of trauma shown. It's not quite my cup of tea, but many others find the series really good. I'll leave my personal opinion out of it and just say that this series is pretty high up on the horny list. However, you should pay attention to the trigger warnings and there are quite a few of them, especially when it comes to SA in every conceivable form.

Cutie Pie

I was pretty hyped about the show until the seventh episode or so. God was I obsessed. After that, the magic that Zee had on me left me a bit. The story really isn't the best, but I think most people didn't necessarily watch the show for the story. The two of them have really good chemistry and that kitchen scene still makes me weak in the knees sometimes. Definitely up there on the horny scale.

Dangerous Dr'gs Of S'x

There is no gif for this. Even if I found it here, I wouldn't insert it. Japan has two sides, either innocent and sweet or hardcore (well not really, but sometimes you can get this image). This one is hardcore. It's not necessarily horny and there's even a pretty heavy story behind it, but this film is riddled with s'x… Not necessarily consensual, at the beginning definitely not consensual. If you're over 18 and can take it, check it out. The film is not bad at all. It's just a bit different…

KinnPorsche

Praised by many, but viewed by me with a somewhat more critical eye, I would still recommend the series if you don't have a problem with dub-con or torture or violence in general. The mafia story is softened somewhat by the love scenes and the slapstick humour is not for everyone. It's a lot about daddy issues and whether you like the characters or not is something you have to decide for yourself.

Love In The Air

I have my issues with the show, but the more I watch and the more I try not to be quite so critical of toxic and destructive phatasies, the more these issues leave me unconcerned. Will I ever watch the series again? Nope. Can I understand why so many people love this show? Of course I do. That's why I don't want to withhold it from you here. LITA has a total of two stories to tell about two friends and their love life. The second story is definitely not an easy watch. There is trauma and SA and some stalking shit and it really can hit you. But for both parts, the NC scenes are, hands down, some of the best ever.

The End Of The World With You | Love At The End Of The World | Till The World Ends

We would have a Japanese doomsday scenario, a Filipino one and a Thai one. I'll summarise it under one point. All three are very explicit in their depiction of intimacy. All three are somewhat confusing story-wise. I had fun watching all three. In contrast to Love at the end of the world, The end of the world with you and Till the world ends are definitely still quite restrained.

Only Friends

The GmmTV actors have taken over and caused a huge mess. A group of friends want to open a hostel as a college project. Whilst in the series this somehow slips into the background at some point and really only served as a location for flings and water adventures, people get to know and love each other and some fall back on old friends to make new loves jealous. Somehow everyone was trying to hurt someone else at one point. I have found a new icon thanks to this series and have cheered for Boston and Boeing in their many endeavours. If I had to say one sentence about the show it would be that it's pure chaos, but damn Boston and Nick... hot.

Playboyy

Okay. I know the majority don't like this series, but I think it's terrific. I'm always amazed at how artistic the episodes are. How each couple has their own special setting, so you know who's about to appear. Yes, there is a lot of s'x, not necessarily horny s'x. It's often used for storytelling or as a catalyst for what happens next. And Prom and Nont are my little favourites. I find Prom only half as attractive without glasses, unless he swaps glasses for a blindfold… Still, on a horny scale it is up there.

Pornographer aka The Novelist

A student runs over a writer on his bike, breaking the writer's arm. As compensation (and because he can't pay damages), the student agrees to write down the writer's story he was working on. It is pornographic literature and while the writer dictates to the student, a kind of relationship develops between the two. This is not a romantic relationship in the classic sense, it's not about a cautious approach and getting to know each other, but about the psychology of lust and manipulation, about loneliness and the desire for more. It's pretty deep shit and I can only recommend it. But always with the warning that it's not going to be an easy watch.

Sweet Curse

Here's a short film for a change. I love short films! And Sweet Curse is one of them. Min-woo is jealous of one of his closest friends Ha-joon and wants to curse him. Too bad when the haunting spirit falls in love with the handsome and kind-hearted Ha-joon. When Korea has the freedom, they go all out. There are some short films that you wouldn't have expected from South Korea. And this here it's quite high up on the horny scale.

Wedding Plan

God, I love this series. No matter what anyone says, it was so good to watch these two fall in love and slowly let their walls down until the clothes followed. A very amusing series in which both mains know what they want and, above all, that they want each other, even if the planned wedding of one of them got in the way a little beforehand.

Why R U

The series may lack a bit of story, but if you want it horny, the Fighter x Tutor storyline is definitely for you. You have to hand it to Zee, the man can kiss. It's not the most adult series, set in college, but the topics are sometimes a bit heavier and the NC scenes are definitely worth watching.

I hope I haven't bored you and that there's something suitable for you in this small selection 😊 It was so fun making this list! Thank you again for this ask!

[6okuto]

Can I ask for headcanons about the LIs from Touchstarved and how they would deal with the MC who is suffering from menstrual cramps? Unfortunately, I'm in those days, I always get very sensitive and I can't eat anything (sometimes I even feel nauseous and vomit).

Sorry about my English

TS CAST WITH AN MC ON THEIR PERIOD

gn!mc | aaaghh i hope u feel better soon/now anon that sounds awful :(

ALL

i want you to know (partially because i don't want the notes to be repetitive) none of them would mind cleaning up any vomit, stains, etc. when they happen. literally none of them!! they've all seen worse, had worse happen, and care about mc. of course they'll take the time to clean up, change sheets, rub their back (and hold back any hair) as they hover over the toilet etc.

the others would ask kuras to check on mc if the symptoms are super serious and it could be some underlying condition. vere. ....mc is important enough to get kuras bro trust me. one of the others might recommend it if not him bdjhgbd

KURAS

! Finally a doctor that won't invalidate your experiences or just send you home! kuras would take their symptoms seriously and prescribe medication, etc as needed (i don't know how advanced they are surgery wise but if it was safe and possible...!)

he offers to let them stay at the clinic with him, but they both know he'd prefer they did assuming it isn't too difficult to set up

...methodical? when it comes to checking on mc, especially when they're suffering the worst of their symptoms! even when it seems like he's super busy and doesn't have time, he makes time.

he's good staying calm at signs of pain, strong emotions, etc., but it's a little different because mc isn't Just a patient. sometimes he can't help his worried expression when mc is in obvious pain, and he wouldn't buy tea for just anybody now would he! or let them pull him to the bedside and chat to distract them, comply when asked to hold his hand over their stomach, etc.

food wise.... he learns mc's favourites quickly, at least what they can stomach. best soup flavours, best drinks, soft foods... plus the nearest places he can run to. mc can be like Kuras It's literally 10 minutes away but he's like.. What kind of doctor would i be if i let my patient leave in this state. Can you lie back down now?

when they're home, kuras is freer to spend time with mc if they'd like! if mc says he has to cuddle because they're in pain, he can slip into bed with them. (he might be a little awkward the first couple of times because, well, cuddling isn't a usual treatment he offers to patients is it? and i don't think he's cuddled a lot in general, but he gets the hang of it!)

LEANDER

the wet wick isn't really where you want to be when you're dealing with cramps, nausea and anything else. so when mc mentions that they'll probably be dealing with their period soon and they tell him how bad it can get, leander makes sure to find a more comfortable place, even if it's just for a while. (or you know. maybe they live together somewhere else already and that'd just be very lovely and convenient !)

if there's any Magic Treatments he can do himself to soothe their pain, do some magic equivalent of a heating pad, etc. leander will absolutely use them! though he might make a joke like, Is the spell as good as me though? and when mc is like you know what? yeah. he's like :( / oh i see how it is...after everything we've been through /joking

i don't care if he doesn't like naps he will nap with mc if they ask. He Will. even if he doesn't stay the whole time, he'll at least rub their back and wait for them to fall asleep.

at their beck and call while he's around!! they need help getting to the washroom? he's there to help. they want a little snack? he's bought some! they ask him to run a hot bath? do they want him to help them wash because he will! their heated towels aren't hot enough anymore? no need to get up, leander's already on his way. they want to cuddle with him? What kind of guy would he be to say no?

if mc is more sensitive and their emotions are kind of all over the place, it probably surprises leander the most LOL. like everyone's caught off guard and worried walking in on them crying, but leander is most visibly like wait shit what happened? what's wrong? are you okay? did someone do something? because he's done everything he can to make sure they're comfortable like woah!!😭

VERE

do you guys know if vere's job is a 9 to 5 deal... well. while he's on the job, trust me when i tell you he's thinking of mc more often than he'd like to admit. he wishes he could check on them himself, but if he can't, he'll ask one of the others to. you'd think ais considering ais is the only one vere likes, but depending on what you need, he'll have to suck it up and ask. leander maybe?

yeah okay he'll rest his tail over your stomach and let you play with it now stop giving him puppy eyes and asking /lighthearted /silly. he'd appreciate it if you didn't squeeze very tight, like please hold onto something else besides his tail. but staying near you and getting that something isn't at all an issue for him!

if they want to cuddle Vere and not just his tail, he pretends he's Relenting and Allowing it, but he does enjoy it! (you can tell by the smile on his face and the way he shifts the pillows and blanket to make sure they're both comfortable for the foreseeable future.) he lets them rest their head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, and he wraps his tail around just for extra warmth.

tones down his provocations and attitude when he realizes mc's state, and his more serious side comes out. if mc is confused/surprised by this, he rolls his eyes before carrying on to tell them to stay hydrated, and which places have the best teas/warm drinks. (he knows the owner of the one on the corner two streets down, and he's sure they'll lower the price for you.)

stubborn mc who ignores vere telling them they should stay in bed, or trying to help them there. vere who watches patiently as they're obviously in pain, until they give in and look at him. vere who, just once because he's vere, is like oh? what happened to not needing help? before mc tells him to shut up and he wraps an arm around them

AIS

makes sure they're drinking enough water and eating what they can despite his teasing. says shit like "okay, if you drink enough water i'll buy you some sweets" "think of how disappointed princess will be to find out you're pushing yourself" etc etc. of course when he's especially worried about them not eating, he'll take a more serious tone, but it's what he can do to keep their mood up.

even though exercising while you're cramping and bleeding often sounds. Miserable and Impossible. exercising regularly can help when the time comes! ais offers to join them on a couple walks a week :-) if mc thinks that they can do some light exercise, he'll be there to help them and suggest some easier workouts they can do. i don't think he's a huge yoga person, but he's got some stretches for sure!

guy who goes to buy some things and comes with more than mc expected or listed. he shrugs and says it's better to be prepared, and he was there so why not? he even asked some of the clerks for their opinion and was told some nice advice from a stranger who overheard him and who's he to say no.

might be below leander in terms of cuddling enthusiasm, but is still more comfortable than the others! he'll wrap himself around them, keeping a light pressure on their stomach and rubbing circles against their skin. he never complains about quietly staying and watching them, or talking if mc asks him to distract them. (they wonder how many of his stories take place in a bar. Have you never had a fun experience perhaps at a festival or park? he feigns offense before telling a 'nicer' story anyway.)

more modern au than TS but. i don't know if you guys saw that video where they asked their boyfriend to get pads with wings and he bought. pads and chicken wings. i'm crying soo bad like ais would do that as a joke. he'd take the wings out first then show mc he did, in fact, get pads with wings after they stare at him like ???? BEJHSBGJHB

MHIN

the first time it happens? they spot mc obviously in pain and watch them for a while because, well, that isn't their problem is it? they're just watching because they're curious, not because they really care. inevitably, they go up to check on them and bring them somewhere more comfortable because it was "hard to watch"

 it's like... mhin knows what to do, but there's hesitancy because they feel awkward About Offering. do they just hand mc the warm towel? do they ask them to roll over? if they ask what mc wants to drink, will they have the ingredients for it? they leave a bowl by the bed and say "in case you vomit" then hesitate before telling them where the washroom is, but the bowl is just in case. the others are more comfortable asking and taking initiative when it comes to mc y'know. but once they've established a relationship, mhin is quick to know what they like and need without mc even asking! ^^

"mhin" "hm?" "i think i'm dying" "you aren't dying" "i'm going to die" "don't die on my favourite blanket" "what the hell" (/lighthearted) (they do in fact care very much and feel bad. if mc wasn't busy suffering maybe they'd have noticed mhin preparing tea and a hot pack across the room.)

doesn't even try to entertain the thought of mc getting up and doing something strenuous. mhin shoots them a look like ? are you kidding. stay here and i'll take care of it. they won't force mc to stay in bed and assumes they know their limits, but that also means if mc pushes themself too much, mhin is all the more 'annoyed' (concerned!! they're concerned more than Angry, but can you please listen to them for once!)

omfg mhin bringing mc to a place where stray cats like to visit just to cheer them up a little. mhin handing them some food to hold out in their hand. there's a specific cat who really likes to purr and cuddle that they get the attention of just for mc. yeah.

[raccoon-coded]

Did you know there are Guardians of the Galaxy novels? Well, there are actually a few!

Here's a brief review / breakdown of the gotg books in my collection. (Not including children's books, retellings of the movies or books that aren't novels.) I love them all and would recommend any of them.

And if there are more out there, I will find them and add them to this list.

The Pirate Angel, The Talking Tree, and Captain Rabbit.

Written by Steve Behling.

A book read from teen Groot's point of view, for the most part, taking place during the flight to Nidavellir with Thor, (during Avengers Infinity War.) It focuses on the dynamic between Thor, Rocket and Groot, while Groot sneakily reads Rocket's journal. Through the journal we get to see Rocket go on missions with the original Groot, with Rhomann Dey and with the Guardians. We see him being the badass he is but also get plenty of insight into Rockets thoughts.

It also includes a short epilogue from Rocket's point of view during the battle of Wakanda.

It's fun and it's humorous with a couple of emotional beats, and an overall enjoyable read which acts as an interlude between Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame.

This one is aimed at a younger audience (teens I suspect) but I still found it enjoyable.

206 pages, although it would be less if the font wasn't so large.

Marvel Wastelanders: Star-Lord.

Written by Sarah Cawkwell and adapted from the scripted podcast by Benjamin Percy.

This one is a novelization of the audio drama 'Marvel Wastelanders', (which I recommend listening to if you haven't.) It's based on the Marvel Wastelanders comics but is an original take on the stories. Includes many comic book characters and comic references but can be read/listened to without prior knowledge of the comics.

It features an old man Star-Lord and Rocket Raccoon as they fight to save Earth from Doctor Doom's takeover. The story is told as a recount of events from a Rigellian Recorder whom they team up with along the way. Rocket and Star-Lord bicker like an old married couple and it's great. It's a good read, and has an interesting plot with a lot of fun characters. However it does have a tragic ending that the story never hid it was always leading up to. It's bittersweet. You might cry, but it's worth the tears.

The voice acting during these emotional scenes in the audio drama makes it worth listening to over reading but both options are good. Personally, I read the book first and then listened to the audio drama on Spotify. Sidenote, the characters in this are not voiced by their movie counterparts.

348 pages of the book, or 10 episodes around half an hour long each of the Star-Lord centric story of the audio drama.

Guardians of the Galaxy: No Guts, No Glory.

Written by M. K. England.

This is an official prequel to the Marvel Guardians of the Galaxy video game, (which is an incredible game that takes aspects from both the comics and movies.) Like the game, it's read from Peter Quill's perspective.

It switches between the 'present day' which is a time where the Guardians are only newly formed and struggling as a group, and 12 years before that during the Galactic War where Peter is a young ravager first meeting Nova officer Ko-Rel on Mercury as they battle a Chitauri invasion.

I really enjoyed this book. It's funny, heartwarming and action packed, and embodies the characters very well. I'd recommend it to any fans of the video game. It gives us a great preview of the relationship that Peter and Ko-Rel formed, and on the early dynamic of the Guardians.

If you haven't played the game yet, I highly recommend doing so and then going right ahead and giving this a read. Although in saying that, it'll still make sense if you read it without playing the game prior, it'll just make the experience more enjoyable if you have already played the game.

307 pages.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Collect Them All.

Written by Corinne Duyvis.

This novel is based on the comic versions of the Guardians.

The point of view jumps around between all members of the Guardians, so you get an insight on each of them throughout the story.

In this novel the Guardians embark on a quest to save Groot by collecting all the pieces that have splintered off him and scattered around the galaxy.

Gamora has her own significant arc in this story.

Another solid Guardians tale.

383 pages.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Rocket Raccoon and Groot Steal The Galaxy.

Written by Dan Abnett.

This novel is also based off of the Guardians of the Galaxy comic versions of the characters and was actually written by comic writer Dan Abnett who has written numerous Guardians of the Galaxy comics, along with many other notable comics.

In this novel, Rocket and Groot find themselves teaming up with a Rigellian Recorder on a quest to save the Galaxy. Gamora also pops in for a bit.

The book is read from the point of view of 'Recorder-Dude' as Rocket calls him, with a few interludes read from the pov of other characters.

This book was quite enjoyable. Would read again.

359 pages.

Apologies that the last two weren't as detailed as the other reviews, it's been a while since I've read them. Will have to give them a re-read and edit.

[indigochromatic]

Some Basic Advice About EMDR for Systems

(drawing on our own experiences, reading about it, and comparing notes with our therapist)

This is mainly aimed at systems who are considering doing EMDR or planning on it, but want to know what the process is like and what to look out for, with some personal experiences sprinkled in.

Under the cut, because I talk a lot:

General Concept

I think the big picture in our experience is that EMDR is/was like…an intensifier for the kind of headspace/internal system interaction processing work that a lot of systems do naturally, at least a little, especially if they have decent internal communication. This has both upsides and downsides/areas to be cautious about.

A lot of EMDR pre-work (often called “resourcing”) is about making sure you have a good toolbox of “mental tricks/techniques” to be able to handle unexpected intense emotions, feelings, and/or imagery etc that often comes up when you get into trying to work with traumatic stuff. This is in my opinion very important, and something your therapist should take at least a few sessions to talk with you about even if you already have good tools for it already, just to make sure they know your strategies and you’re all on the same page. Also super common and normal to spend some time developing extra ones if needed—stuff like “the box” for temporarily containing crisis emotions when needed, having a mental “safe space” that you can come back to, etc. Also, EMDR specifically tends to often be a little rigid/scripted in the types of visualizations and metaphors you’re “supposed” to use, but in my opinion a good therapist should be flexible enough to adapt to equivalent images/techniques you may already have (like, “imagine you’re viewing the traumatic memory on a movie screen, or out the window of a train going through a tunnel” is a common instruction; if, say, your headspace has a lot of fantasy elements and it makes more internal sense to be viewing the memory via…scrying in a dish or something, your therapist should be down with you doing that instead, if you want to).

As for the sessions themselves, a big thing we don’t hear articulated a lot is that, in our experience  and that of some other folks we know, EMDR has a tendency of being…like, sneakily intense: It doesn’t necessarily hit you all at once in the session, which may just feel like “ok, that was Some Therapy Work but I’m chill”, but then over the rest of the day and maybe even the next few days, it’s not uncommon to keep feeling a lot of emotional intensity/vulnerability, having more intense “internal conversations and/or realizations”, etc. For this reason, EMDR is generally supposed to start with a very mild memory-to-process, like 4-5 out of 10 max.

Notes of Caution and Stuff to Keep In Mind

Especially for folks who already heavily dissociate from emotional trauma, it’s super easy to think you’re “going too easy” only to find that the memory has a lot more emotional baggage than you realized—really go easy on yourself when you start, EMDR is like psychology power tools and you absolutely can hurt yourself. (We’ve heard from plenty of systems who had bad therapists who did not adequately support them in doing EMDR, and absolutely fucked them over by starting too big and retraumatizing the hell out of them— this isn’t meant as fear-mongering, especially if you really like and trust your therapist, but just genuine “hey, EMDR can be very volatile stuff, which is part of why it can be so helpful, but also means that it’s important to not skip out on the safety precautions and self-care”.) What this means in practice is often stuff like: (our recommendations at least) - trying to schedule breaks/easy days immediately after - possibly getting someone to drive you home, especially if you know you’re going after a Big Thing, because the dissociation hangover immediately after can be pretty real - start with a memory that feels "too easy", and scale up if a week later it still felt trivial/like you’re fully over it, because it’s way easier to ramp up than try to do damage control.

Our personal experience, in tl:dr form, was that it felt like the core of the technique was really useful for us, and mirrored some of the most useful instances of self-processing we’d had before while also kind of serving as a “shortcut” to it—but, it was pretty intense and we didn’t really like/fit well with the therapists who we were working with at the time, which is why we stopped (didn’t want to keep doing an emotionally intense thing with folks we didn’t trust).

Finally, a bit about EMDR and "maybe I'm plural but I'm not sure, and/or may not have great in-system communication": yeah, this is a case to be especially slow and careful, for all the aforementioned reasons; what my instinct/recommendation would be in those cases is to: 1) make sure you learn a lot of resourcing techniques 2) try to check in with yourself(s) frequently and with compassion/intent-to-collaborate, "ask the inside of your head how it's feeling" and even if you're not sure whether the "reply" was just your own thoughts or a headmate, listen and try to engage with/respect those responses and emotions 3) if you start getting warning signs/back-off signals/sudden intense feelings, listen to them and lighten up, pause the session if you need to, do some self care etc, even (especially) if you don't know why you felt that way and it seems 'odd/random', and really you're super curious about what's going on and just want to figure it out. Like...you and the inside of your head and/or other system members are trying to navigate a complicated D&D maze together, in the dark, and you each only have part of the map--so you have to work together and trust each other, especially listening to warning signals even when your "part of the map" doesn't show anything to worry about there. And the more you work together and trust each other, the better everything gets, including therapy work.

When it's "Death By A Thousand Papercuts"-type Trauma Instead

If you're not sure where to start because there aren't a lot of obvious "Big Bad Memories" that feel like they adequately explain the issues you're having, some recommendations:

-> First, note that "no Big Bad Memories are immediately coming to mind, idk" is super common in systems and also in CPTSD, way more than I think most folks realize, so know that you're not alone and also that it doesn't mean you don't necessarily have stuff deserving of help and support.

-> So yeah, there's kinda two things imo you can try. The first is, if your therapist is on the more flexible side, you can try doing EMDR with either "this specific memory wasn't too bad, but it's representative of an ongoing pattern or theme that wasn't great" (say, loneliness at school or something, and you pick a specific lunchtime memory, which wasn't really That Bad in the moment, but you were kinda sad and/or upset about it and it feels representative of the overall trend you're trying to process/heal). Or you can try just doing the EMDR process on the theme itself, at the abstract level, and see what comes up--again, I'd really recommend starting with a much lower-stakes issue/theme than you think you need, just because it's really easy to underestimate, especially for systems and other folks whose brains dissociate a lot. (And especially if you know your system has episodic amnesia--e.g. event-amnesia/blackout amnesia--as well as emotional amnesia.)

The second is, there are other "more flexible" types of similar somatic therapy techniques (brainspotting is the name of another one, and there's more I can't think of rn) that might fit better instead-- tldr, totally worth asking your therapist about the whole situation, and asking what they'd feel most qualified for/comfortable with, in my opinion. You don't need to be doing Specifically Exactly EMDR to do somatic trauma therapy, even though EMDR is one of the more well-known modalities for it, and finding a version that feels right and not like you're forcing anything is really valuable (and you're not 'being picky' if it takes a while to find one; you're allowed to want to find one that feels right).

[thesensteawitch]

What Blessings Are Coming For You In 2024?

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Pick A Pile Reading

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!🩵

I am back with another collective reading. Take a deep breath and choose your pile intuitively!🤍

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Pile 1

Tarot Cards- Ace of Cups, 8 of Swords, 4 of Swords, Seven of Wands, The Tower

~You will be blessed with a solution during tough times.

~You'll be given enough time to relax and reflect. Know that you'll feel that time is running out but that'll all be in your head.

~ Anything that doesn't work out in your favor will be a blessing in disguise.

~ Your new self will be taking birth.

~ Don't sleep on the calling of your heart.

~There's a childhood dream of yours that destiny will be pushing you to go after. You'll be unsure as it will be a new territory for you. Your old life has to die for the new life to begin.

~Close your eyes and sit in a meditating position to get clear guidance. Your dreams will give you some clues. Track them.

~I also see someone new coming into your life (romantic or work). This will be an emotionally fulfilling connection.

~You will be called to follow an artistic pursuit. The choice to paint the picture of your life will be in your hands.

~Your thoughts will be very powerful this year. Whatever you think will manifest. So don't fall into negative thinking patterns.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- The Sun, 9 of Swords, 10 of Cups, King of Wands, The Hierophant

~After weeks/months of anxiety a new life will emerge. Your mental health will improve.

~A new chapter of your life will be beginning. You'll feel anew.

~The answers you have been desperately looking for will be coming to you. The answers will be divinely guided.

~As you've grown so much you'll be helping others based on your experience of life. You'll have some great insights to share with the world.

~People will be interested in knowing what you've got to say.

~For some of you I even see popularity on social media.

~Know that the difficult phase is over. You'll feel abundant in every way possible. Especially emotionally! You'll be surrounded by your kind of people.

~Expect new and deep connections on your journey ahead. You'll be overjoyed to have such amazing and understanding people in your life!

~The fulfillment you've been seeking in several areas of your life is coming! I also see travel to your desired place.

~Initially this year your income might be equal to your expenditure. But soon you'll be entering the abundant phase as you playfully put efforts into your work. The more you enjoy the process the more you'll gain.

~2024 is your year!

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- Knight of Swords, 7 of Wands, 5 of Cups, 9 of Pentacles, 7 of Cups

~Your angels will try to communicate with you with angel numbers such as 777, 789, etc.

~An emotional breakthrough will bring some positive change in your life.

~Peace will again be restored.

~You are recommended to spend time alone and get comfortable in your own company.

~Financially you'll be doing great but you'll see the results of your hard work near September.

~Try not to find your escape in connecting with people from the past. It will only bring more confusion and heartbreak.

~Stay happy with a few relations that you have got. They are the true blessings in your life. Because if those who left would've been a blessing too then they wouldn't have left in the first place. They were simply a lesson. Don't cry over spilled water. Look what you've got.

~You will be spiritually awakened this year. You'll be called to practice gratitude. The more you're grateful for the more you get.

~You will receive great communication in work-related areas.

~To have more fulfilling connections start valuing yourself first. Don't try to find your worth through other people.

~This year is here to transform you and make you comfortable in your skin. It will show you that you're worthy of love and you don't need to prove that to anyone at all.

~Birds and cats can be another sign that your guides are near and are protecting you from any challenges coming up in your life.

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

This week I have mostly been reading...

May 20-26th, 2024

Hooray, I’ve managed it for the second week in a row! *If you have written/illustrated one of the works I've mentioned and I've not tagged you, please let me know!*

Completed works I've read this week:

Under Construction by @summerofspock Rated E – Honestly, this one can be summed up by the rather excellent tags ‘there was only one wifi’, ‘weaponized coziness’, ‘erotic woodchopping’ and ‘emotionally significant flannel’ (as in the shirt, not the miniature towel for cleaning one’s self…). It’s cosy, it’s Hallmarkian, it’s disaster puppy Crowley, and Aziraphale has a beard. 10/10 no notes.

Temporal Adjustment by @ukcalico & @vavoom-sorted-art Rated E – Written by Calico to accompany the ever-wonderful vavoom’s art, it’s a Post S1 Ritz scene which plays with time and some *very* spicy scenes. Three chapters of mild D/s content – mind the tags if you’re new to that world.

Sweet Dreams: A Companion Fic by @sixbynine-da & @vavoom-sorted-art Rated E – went down a vavoom rabbit hole, which is truly a delightful hole to go down…pun erm…not intended? But perhaps it was. Anyway. The tags initially had me hesitant to read this one (blood drinking, blood as lube) but it was a much more minor point than I was worried about and it ended up being a beautifully accepting, tender, loving story. I shed a couple of tears at this one.

You Can Stay At My Place, If You Like by AstroGirl Rated T – A lovely, touching piece about the moment A & C switch corporations/bodies and get to experience each other’s thoughts and feelings. Both POVs are written throughout the story, which adds a richness and emotion to it.

If It Looks Like A Duck, And Buzzes Like A Duck, It’s A Sex Toy by @quefish77 Rated M – Look at me bring the tone down after the last recommendation, but ho hum. This one had me weeping with laughter. Once again, the tags tell the story for me: ‘Look if you’re here for medical advice I got bad news for you’, If you don’t say WTF and laugh at least 3 times I’ve failed’, ‘Tags Are Fun’, ‘How many will you read before you roll your eyes and read the fic?, ‘Congratulations! You made it to the end of the tags’, ‘I lied there are more tags’. Yes…there were more tags. I laughed continuously throughout the entire fic, so I’m not sure if that counted as more than three times, and I read all the tags before I started reading, but I can guarantee this does not disappoint, but then none of Quefish’s work ever does if you’re looking for humour.

Aziraphale’s Diaries series by azzfell & @fellshish Rated T – This is a four-part series of humorous, fluffy diary entries written by A. 1. Empirical study on the principles of snake care – A tries to look after C as you would a snake…be ready to cringe and facepalm and giggle 2. Experiments of an angel who has read entirely too much fanfic – A finds fanfic. Tries some of what he’s read on C. Yikes. 3. How to be a demon: a brief history of the Arrangement – I can’t describe it any better than the authors’ description: “The Arrangement: the hard and challenging life of an angel who tries to make a demon do good deeds, and in turn has to perform temptations and wear devilishly sexy outfits.” 4. Adventures of a mystery shopper in the bookshop – this was by far my favourite. A puts C in charge of the bookshop…and then mystery shops. I laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

Lit by @fellshish Rated T – C decides to take a Uni course on literature (for absolutely no reason whatsoever…definitely not because he wants to impress a certain angel with his literary knowledge, nope, nuh uh)…but it turns out to be slightly different to what he was expecting…and they’re discussing Good Omens. Shit.

If You Touch Me You’ll Understand What Happiness Is by locketofyourhair Rated E – It’s no secret I like a bit of angst. You need only read what I write to get smacked round the side of the head with it. This one’s got it in spades. C confesses their love for A – repeatedly – through time. To keep them safe, A erases the memory of the confession each time. But A never forgets. Ouch. It does have a happy ending, though. Phew.

Lace And Gold Braid by @elsajeni Rated M – After rescuing A from the Bastille, C went to bed for 70 years. He never actually said he was sleeping. This fic goes into lots of delicious detail about A’s slutty, slutty outfit. The imagery is really well written and it has a podfic!

WIPs which have updated this week (which I devour as soon as I get the update!)

There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out by @phoen1xr0se Rated M - A is a researcher (puffins!), C is a lighthouse keeper on the island where A has run away to to escape his problems and do his research. The author has recently spent a week studying puffins - which is the ultimate dedication, if you ask me. Ch 9/26 posted this week

Find The Light by @klikandtuna Rated E - Headmaster A and Rockstar C. The story teases out a fraught history between them whilst keeping a tension between them in the modern day. Ch 6/? posted this week.

Terminus by @emotional-support-demon-crowley Rated T - Astronaut A is guided back to Earth by controller C after 92 years in space. There are many difficulties both of them have to face and they develop an amazing rapport. Ch 16/17 posted this week.

Oddity by @tsyvia48 Rated E - Actor C is contracted by (useless) Gabriel to guest curate an exhibition at the museum where A works. After getting off on the wrong foot, can they work together to pull off this show? Ch 23/26 posted this week (note increased chapter count!)

Under The Summer Stars by @pannotbread Rated E - This wonderful fic has taught me more about physics than school ever did (mostly because I never did any physics, but...well). A & C have to share their time at an observatory because there is Only One Telescope. Not only will you learn about astrophysics, astrobiology, and astroecology, you'll also read some of the most poetically, beautifully written masturbation scenes I've ever seen. *ahem* Ch 7/13 posted this week.

Exodus2 by @tismrot Rated E – Human AU set in a dystopian future. The summary says it best, really: Ezra studies programming at the University of ha-Gan. He’s as determined as he is damaged, as fastidious as he is precise, and likes to believe he'll stop at nothing to achieve his goals. His beliefs are challenged when a new student appears late to the first Ethics module lecture - and his life is changed forever. It's the future, it's dystopian, it's cyber and it's punk. It's political, grimy and slick with tears, lube and chemical snot. TW: Sex, drugs, trauma. Ch 28/35 posted this week.

Free by well, me: imposterssyndrome Rated E - A & C meet (again?) in an acute mental health ward after both having had mental health crises. A runs a bookshop but is very much under his parents' control. C has been homeless since childhood and has struggled his entire life. They do not trust each other when they first meet, but feel strangely drawn to one another all the same. Where will this lead them? This is a passion piece for me. There is a lot of lived experience in it, and extensive research from both professionals and peers. It has been a real journey for me to write it, and as I'm coming closer to the end it's becoming very emotional for me. Ch 45/? posted this week

Want more recommendations? This is last week's list.

[mythalism]

time for my daily 6:30 am veilguard pondering; i think another issue with the game is how drastically your enjoyment seems to vary based on a couple of arbitrary decisions that the game forces you to make. genuinely i do not think i could have possibly chosen worse for my first playthrough. i did crow rook, save treviso and lucanis romance but i was waffling between shadow dragon davrin romance until literally the very last moment, you guys literally witnessed this on tumblr dot com like i was agonizing over who to choose until Oct 31 at 10:59 am and then i liked the crow outfit so that was the tie breaker lol. AND WHAT A MISTAKE!!!!!!!! i know some ppl love the crows already and so i hope those people were satisfied but idgaf and i was playing with a pretty neutral slate and holy shit. treviso was my least favorite zone in the entire game and docktown was my favorite. the governor sucks, this and viago are fun but not fun enough to save that storyline, and the headcanon i had for my rook of a zevran-esque backstory where she had been bought by the crows as a child and had a fucked up stockholm syndrome type of relationship to the organization was immediately decimated by how they were completely wiped of any nuance and turned into fun little vigilante heroes (who happen to kill people for money just don’t think about it too much!). i didn’t realize until a few days ago how much dorian content i missed out on by choosing treviso. i really only thought he had 2 appearances in the game. and then i never even fucking explored treviso anyway because it was so boring. the lucanis romance was so nothing, i was wishing i was with davrin the entire time. if you liked it i am truly so happy for you but i have never cared less about anything. if i had literally just had more dorian in my game, an existent romance plot with davrin PLUS i probably would have chosen him at the end and unknowingly sacrificed him, i would have been GAGGED!!!!!! i would have had a significantly more visceral, emotional experience that might have made up a bit for many of the flaws myself and others have pointed out. im pretty confident it would have. but oh my god how did I make 3 decisions that made the game such an absolute drag of boring, underdeveloped or no-content?????? how is there such a discrepancy in experience based on choices the game you are asked to make???? choices in RPGs are supposed to provide replay value but I genuinely cannot even recommend a save treviso run to anyone. keep your Dorian crumbs and stay safe

[trillscienceofficer]

Seven of Nine will always be infinitely more relatable than Data to me because the very idea that she might need emotions to function makes her metaphorically hiss and growl like a feral cat. Never met an emotion she didn't hate feeling even if she sought the experience in the first place. Horrible all around 0/10 would not recommend. Yet even if individual existence is a curse it's still infinitely preferable to the alternative and so we must perseverse