#a truly important scene for the entire series
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Rock Bottom: Season Zero, Chapter Nine
Excerpt: the first meeting between Seto and Noah Kaiba
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Once Seto'd gotten dressed, he'd pocketed the money and entered the elevator to go back to the ground floor and finally head home for the night. He was about a third of the way down when the elevator stopped, and Seto started. The doors opened, and he was faced with a teen who looked like he could be Seto's twin, even though his hair had been dyed a vibrant neon green.
He had the same lanky form as Seto, same height, same proportions. Even their eyes were the same piercing shade of sapphire blue. The other smirked as he stepped inside the elevator and pushed the button to take him to Gozaburo's office. The doors closed as they stood side by side and the carriage continued its descent.
"So you're my father's little whore."
The smooth voice, the mocking tone, the arrogant attitude, his own physical pain: it was more than enough to make Seto snap.
Seto turned on the other teen, catching him in the jaw with a closed fist. The other looked surprised as he was knocked into the wall of the elevator, as if he wasn't used to physical retaliation. Seto turned to face the elevator doors again, feeling smug.
"You're no better than me, moneybags."
#seto kaiba#noah kaiba#gozaburo kaiba#Rock Bottom AU#my writing#snippet#tw: prostitution#i wrote Season Zero back in 2016. i'm much better now i promise#a truly important scene for the entire series#these two meet and nothing is the same ever again#fuxking hell it happened again i was just saving a draft and it posted. ugh whatever why is the app so broken#au fanfiction#alternate universe
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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
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ONE YEAR OF NOT ME DAY 4: favorite scene - the one where they fall in love while holding hands under a pride flag and shouting for marriage equality
#one year of not me#one year of not me day 4#not me edit#not me the series#not me series#seanwhite#still can't quite believe this is an actual scene#like wow we really got spoiled by this show#thank you nuchy🙏🏻#just the way white jumps around here is so important to me#like ep 6 ended with everything in pieces and the fragile trust between them broken#but then they spend time apart and when they see each other again there's this silent understanding and it's so beautiful#and for white this must be the first time he has truly been himself during all this and maybe even in his entire life#you can see the freedom and the feeling of community and belonging and purpose on his face like my man is BEAMING#and then we have sean with his quiet joy and shy little smiles and hestitant glances#he's still not sure where they stand and he wants to apologize but for now he is holding white's hand and maybe that's enough#and after making sure that white is not angry anymore you can see sean relaxing and letting himself be in the moment#just GOSH THIS SCENE OK#i still cry every time i think about it#IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL#name a better love story bc you can't#the queerest shit you'll ever see#they raised the standard too high#now i don't want any less#if they don't dance with you under a pride flag then what's even the point
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Arcane season 2 spoilers
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I have been thinking A LOT about Jayce and Viktor, mainly the scene where Viktor is reborn out of his pod of Hexcore.
Mainly because it means a lot for Viktor’s character. On a fundamental level, he never seen much worth in himself, but he did see worth in inventions, the things he made, it’s how he could prove himself to the world. This is why he becomes so concerned with his illness and the legacy he’ll leave behind on the world; he needs the Hexcore to work because he doesn’t have anything else.
But now, he is literally fused with his invention, his invention that he has grown to hate because it killed one of the only people who truly saw value in Viktor, and not the things he could, partly due to his own negligence. Viktor put it best, in his pursuit of greatness, he failed to do good.
He doesn’t really know how to process what happened to him at all, he’s a smart man, he can clearly deduce that his body has undergone some cybernetic change, he can probably remember the explosion in the council room, but other then that, he’s just confused, hence why he asks Jayce, “what am I?” Viktor’s body is entirely different and unfamiliar, and taking into context that the Hexcore, his greatest invention which he tied all his worth to, has failed before this, it’s likely Viktor had lost sight of who he was, and his new body only served to further that descent.
Jayce can’t think about any of that though, he’s just happy that his partner is alive and who wouldn’t be, he’d been waiting for days, possibly weeks for him to wake. Viktor’s mortality is one of the things that Jayce has struggled with the most in the series, which is what makes his survivor’s guilt so much more pertinent. A lot of people claim that Jayce grew up rich and coddled, and I think that’s true to an extent, but they forgot his family were workers, tool smiths. Jayce seemed to grow up with the idea that he wasn’t that fortunate, that he was a working, middle class man who was going to change the world, and then he meets Viktor, a “poor cripple from the Undercity,” and then he sees what the Undercity is really like and the conditions people live in. And that’s when Jayce realises; he had it good. I believe this is what encourages part of his admiration of Viktor; he is what Jayce thought he was.
Tangent aside, I feel that their hug is a very, very important moment, mainly because of Viktor’s reaction.
He isn’t relieved or uncomfortable, it’s just…nothing. Given what Viktor says about how he doesn’t feel that it’s cold and just recognises that it is cold, I believe this is the moment where it fully sank in how much his body had changed. He couldn’t feel Jayce.
And like, first off, that is such beautiful symbolism for what he says later about how they’re relationship was only held together by affection. Viktor physically cannot feel said affection anymore and know has no reason to stick by the side of someone whose views have become so contrasted to his. But more emotionally, it’s representative of Viktor’s belief that he is unloveable, his new body is merely proof at that, he can’t touch Jayce, he couldn’t save Sky, he couldn’t make the Hexcore work properly, he couldn’t even get Jayce to destroy the Hexcore. To himself, Viktor is a failure who is unworthy of love.
But, he still huge Jayce back. Despite not being able to feel Jaycee’s warmth anymore, despite it feeling like his whole life has crumbled, Viktor wants to give Jayce one last act of service. Perhaps to prove that he still has use, or maybe this was the moment where he decided he would have to part ways with Jayce, and just wanted Jayce to remember his touch, even if Viktor couldn’t remember his.
Anywho if enough people like this dribble, I may post my take on the rest of this scene because it shattered me
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season two#arcane viktor#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#jayce talis#jayvik
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Maybe I'll spoil you guys and talk about Gwynriel and ACOTAR5 and anything related to it overall. I recently finished my HOFAS reread and have some fresh thoughts. I'll let my thoughts guide me and some of these points I've already addressed in my insta stories yesterday. I just rather share a lengthy post here since I'll only tag under #gwynriel.
I often see arguments about how Gwyn and Azriel can't move the plot forward because the series is centered on the Archeron sisters.
First, that's not true because Sarah is following what she called "a traditional romance route". She's following the same patterns of Nalini Singh, Kresley Cole, and Lisa Kleypas where they publish multiple books in the same series following different couples.
This is fitting for a series like ACOTAR because it's romance-centered. And Sarah have already said that each couple is getting one book and there will likely be more books beyond ACOTAR6.
Saying that doesn't dismiss the importance of the sisters to the story, Feyre already has a trilogy centered on her. The spin-off just follows different characters including the sisters.
I won't try hard to convince people on this because I've already posted almost everything Sarah said about the spin-off series and what's it's about. So if the next book is not centered on an Archeron sister, that's for Sarah to bamboozle the fandom with.
One thing that stuck out to me is when I compared the ending of ACOSF with the scene of Bryce giving Nesta Gwydion and seeming like she left Nesta with a new quest.
First, this is what the text says, and this is Chapter 80, the very last chapter in ACOSF:
Succeeding in the Blood Rite didn't mean the training stopped. No, after she and her friends told Cassian and Azriel most of the details of their ordeal, the two commanders had compiled a long list of mistakes that the three of them had made that needed to be corrected, and the others wanted to learn from them, too. So they would keep training, until they were all well and truly Valkyries. Gwyn, despite the Rite, had returned to living in the library.
1. The Valkyries are not yet a unit.
2. SJM only and specifically highlighted that Gwyn, despite the Rite, returned to living in the library. It was like "hey, remember all the talk Gwyn did about wanting to leave the library after two years? Yeah that's on hold a bit but keep that in mind". She didnt even add Emerie or the other priestesses to that sentence.
With Nesta being left with Gwydion to find out why the 8-pointed star was tattooed on her, I don't think the next book will start with "hey Elain take this sword and deal with it". Who are Nesta's main companions now? Gwyn and Emerie.
I'll be back to the Valkyries but let's just talk about Azriel for a bit.
It is so painfully obvious to me that Azriel is being handed the Illyrian plot on a golden platter. How big or small of a plot it is depends on SJM, but it's important based on the fact that she fleshed out the Illyrian's origins and tied them to the crossover AND making Truth-teller the knife of Enalius.
That is a big deal for an Illyrian like Azriel.
And I quote my friend Lacie on this, it is very poetic for Azriel to be the owner of the knife that originally belonged to the person who freed his own people from the Daglan's clutches, perhaps because he saw his people are more than just slaves to the Daglan—how powerful would it be for Azriel, who loathes his own people, to parallel Enalius.
And for years some people were against Azriel dealing with this plot because he shouldn't make peace with his "abusers", its true his own family and some Illyrians failed him but he is condemning an entire population. Good people like Emerie and Balthazar. Even Rhys's mother, who had valid reasons to hate her people especially as a female, still made sure to make Rhysand connect with his Illyrian heritage and he even goes on to say that his mother didn't forget what they did to her but still loved her people.
If both Cassian and Rhysand (and by extension the author) continue to flag Azriel's hatred of the Illyrians as an issue—then it is a damn big issue for it to be addressed repeatedly.
Okay so to address my final point about Gwyn and Azriel and how they can move the plot forward.
Now I didn't detail out much about what the next book will deal with because that's another post (and I already have a post on that).
All of our theories and predictions are based on information that is available to us. Saying Azriel and Gwyn cannot move the plot forward does not make any sense because the central plot is tied to multiple characters, Archeron or not.
If SJM wants to make a character move the next book's plot forward, she can do it because she's in control of the story. She's in control of the narrative. She's in control of the characters.
The characters are puppets and this is an unfinished story. If some characters would add more value and make for a more interesting story before the others, she can decide on that. If she wants to make Eris the protagonist of the next book, she can easily do that whether the fandom wants it or not.
Let me give you an example of minor characters that pushed the plot forward and became main characters: Yrene Towers and the Hind. These kind of arguments could've been used for them in HOEAB or HOSAB and Pre-TOD. Before HOSAB/HOFAS and TOD, could we have predicted that they would have played a crucial role before those books? Not likely because they had minimal appearances and were not part of the main cast. This is what I'm talking about.
You can't know how a character will contribute to a story until you see how it all unfolds. We can make guesses on the information we have which is why I believe three characters are likely to join the main cast: Gwyn, Emerie, and Eris.
Why is it so easy to accept that Emerie might be sharing a book with an original character like Mor but it's hard to comprehend the fact that Gwyn could also share a book with Azriel? Because Emerie showed up in ACOFAS? To me that's not really a strong argument based on Sarah's writing and what we have in the books, she doesn't really pick based on who showed up the earliest. Here's a good example: Hypaxia, who showed up earlier, didn't even get her own chapters but the Hind did.
And there's one argument I recall about how I need to rely on Nesta to have a plot focused on Gwyn or the Valkyries in the next book. Nesta's arc is clearly not over based on HOFAS, but does that mean she's getting a POV? Not necessarily. I don't think she is. Gwyn is the perfect candidate for us to see what's going on with Nesta post-HOFAS and how they all deal with the Valkyries and whatever Sarah will set up with them.
There is this whole Valkyrie/Illyrian conflict that could be triggered as a result of the Blood Rite, with Ramiel definitely being an important location to explore in the next book, we also have the Pegasi and the Prison and the implications of the crossover. It makes sense to have an Illyrian and a Valkyrie POV to deal with some plots in the next book.
"Gwyn contributes to nothing" we can't know until the book is out. How sure are we that maybe SJM won't connect her to the crossover by making her mysterious father a Worldwalker? Or Prince of Hel? Or an Asteri? Maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong.
"But Koschei! And the Human Queens!" Koschei will always be a background player pulling on the strings until the final book as it's obvious he is the big bad in the series, unless someone even worse is revealed. But no one is dismissing Koschei or the Human Queens messing around.
Literally what's the point of the story or the fun elements of surprises or plot twists if you need Sarah to list down everything that the next books will deal with. That's not how a story develops to me. I don't need to know everything in advance to just know how it will go. That's like knowing spoilers early on and checking off with each book what happened and what didn't happen. I feel like it's close to how a lot of readers were disappointed with not having enough ACOTAR in HOFAS, because Sarah implied half of the book would be set in Prythian. So by the time the book came out and it wasn't that, people were vocal about it.
In my opinion, SJM set a good foundation for Gwyn's arc to build up on in ACOSF and her arc is not over. We won't get mentions of her still carrying the guilt of her sister's death or not leaving the library after she said she's sick of being there for two years without us seeing resolution for that. She wouldn't be in Azriel's bonus chapter if she is not involved with him.
To conclude, my reread still affirms to me that the next book with an Azriel/Gwyn book. Azriel is clearly being set in the forefront.
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omg omg can i request? pls ignore if you dont!
s3 of haikyuu will always be my favourite season, maybe due to the fact that tsukishima realizes his potential in playing volleyball? (him having his MOMENT is my favouriteee scene)
so could you write gf manager reader x tsukki, where reader witnesses him having his first moment (blocking ushijima's spike), injuring his hand etc etc up until they receive their throphy and medals in the end ?🥹🥹💕 shes a proudddd reader and literally just smooch smooch hug hug tsukki because hes the mvp of karasuno x shiratorizawa 🥰😤
i realized that theres nobody includes this scene in their fics and i wonder why? 🤔🧐
# tsukishima kei - mvp
a/n: i am terribly sorry anon bcs this took so long T-T i'm not quite sure about some parts of this fic but overall i really enjoyed writing this request!! tsukishima is my fav for many reasons, one of which being the fact that i see myself in him a lot, and the particular moment during the shiratorizawa vs karasuno match is also my fav from the entire series!! i hope u enjoy reading this fic^^ i feel like it's not exactly what you asked for, so i'm sorry if i went too far away from your idea....
summary: tsukishima finally regains his love for volleyball.
warnings: a few swear words here and there, the fic doesn't exactly portray what happened in the series (i switched it up a bit)
'are you stressed?'
'not even a bit.'
'you're lying. i can read you like a book.'
tsukishima kei let out a deep breath, rolling his eyes as he looked away from your face. you were obviously right; there was no way he wouldn't be stressed before the game that determined whether or not karasuno would go to nationals. as much as he hated to admit it, he was almost as stressed as others. he was just better at controlling which of his emotions are shown.
you squeezed his hand, his fingers instinctively intertwining with yours. all it took was a reassuring smile from you to help with his nerves, his muscles finally relaxing after being tensed up for the last twenty minutes or so. he still tried to get used to you being more than a friend. your relationship was quite awkward and fresh, so much so in fact that you never even had your first kiss yet.
'i'm sure you'll do great.' you stated calmly, trying to hide the fact that you were even more stressed about the match than him. 'in fact, i'm positive that you'll win.'
'even if we do, it won't be because of me.' he mumbled, letting out a silent laugh when he saw the angry look on your face. 'oh, come on. it's not like i'm the greatest player this team has.'
'you know i hate it when you talk down on yourself.' you said, the tone serious and sharp, rather unusual for you. it stayed like that for only a short while, taken over by a softer, understanding one. 'you're a vital part of this team, tsukishima. winning this match is not up to a single person. it's a team effort. your input is as important as that of kageyama or hinata.'
he opened his mouth to say something but was instantly stopped by the voice of his captain, daichi, calling the team up to quickly warm up as the match was about to start.
you smiled at the boy, letting go of his hand before lightly patting him on the back.
'do your best for me, alright?'
'i will.' a barely noticeable smile appeared on his face, his hand affectionately ruffling your hair. 'don't worry too much about it.'
you finally realized why tsukishima kei never tried more. why he would never stay longer like other karasuno players to polish his skills, why he didn't truly seem to love the sport he chose to play in high school.
'you're insufferable, you know?' his words sent shivers down your spine. 'why don't you leave it the fuck alone?'
opposite forces, some might say. no one really knew what drew you and tsukishima to eachother - both of you completely different from one another, and yet oh so similar at the same time. frustration took over you every time you looked at him, and now you knew why.
he was like a mirror in which you could see all your flaws, and it irritated you a great deal.
his outlook on life and the way he viewed himself made you furious. how can someone be so full of contradictions? so cocky and confident, and yet so vulnerable and self depreciating at the same time. so full of himself and yet so hateful towards the person he saw in the reflection of every window, every mirror.
how can someone so great at what they do, so intelligent and talented, be so critical?
'because i can't! i can't leave it alone, you absolute moron.' the thought of how loud you were didn't stop you from continuing to shout, a mixed look on your face that tsukishima couldn't quite decipher. were you angry or sad? and why the hell would it bug you so much to evoke such strong emotions within you?
'you're saying i'm insufferable? from the moment i laid my eyes on you, you've been nothing but insufferable. so much so, that i want to gouge them out every time they spot you.' you ignored your watery eyes and tsukishima's surprised face, almost as if he didn't expect you to blow up like this. 'it pains me to see you be so full of doubt and hatred and i- i can't understand why you would think so lowly of yourself, why you feel inferior to the other guys in every way possible, when you could be so much more than them. do you even realize your potential, tsukishima?'
he stayed silent. for the first time since knowing you, tsukishima kei did not have an answer to your words.
'your doubts are so irrational i don't know if it makes me angry or sad. you're truly incredible on the court. you're intelligent, you can read the opponents well, you have the physical predispositions for volleyball and a natural talent that you choose to ignore because-'
'but what is talent without passion?'
that singular sentence managed to catch you off guard so much you had no idea how to answer him. such a simple question, and yet such a philosophical, confusing one.
'why should i put my all into something i'm not even passionate about, huh?' tsukishima tried to keep his composed nature, but it was hard to stay intact after what you've said. as much as he did not want to admit it, your words hit him deeply. 'why waste my time and energy for something that does not give me any satisfaction at all? tell me that, because i have no fucking idea.'
'passion is not something that dissapears once and never shows up again, you idiot.' you took a step closer, as if that was going to help you get your point across. 'if your passion is genuine, it will always be there. whether small or big, it will always crawl around in the back of your mind. if you ever truly loved volleyball, the moment where you fall in love with it again will come sooner or later.'
your words were met with complete silence, but you didn't mind. tsukishima slowly processed your words, a focused look gracing his face, lips in a tight line. even though it was only a couple of minutes, for you it felt like hours - awaiting an answer, any answer at all.
tsukishima moved closer, his tall frame hovering over you as he wrapped his arms around you, catching you in a tight hug, much to your surprise.
'thank you.' he mumbled quietly, glad that in this very moment you couldn't see his face, and the stupid smile plastered to it.
the moment where you fall in love with it again will come sooner or later.
tsukishima's mind lingered over these words whenever he played, awaiting this moment to come almost eagerly. the match was particularly hard - with ushijima wakatoshi as their opponent, the chances of winning were incredibly slim. every spike of his went through the block, his serves were absolutely killer, and his teammates did everything to deliver the ball to him at all costs.
what a hassle.
you noticed that his demeanor on the court changed from what it used to be. tsukishima seemed more invested now - almost as if he was trying to impress you, to keep his word. as happy as it made you, you were still anxious about the match and it's final score, hand shaky and a bit sweaty as your eyes followed the ball flying around from one side of the net to another.
another spike from ushijima, it'll probably be another point for shiratoriza-
and that's when you realized.
you saw the ball hit the ground on shiratorizawa's side of the net surprised gasps from everyone watching the match. you saw the shocked look on ushijima's face, the horror in the eyes of his teammates as the ball bounced off of the floor for the second, third, fourth time.
silence took over the court for just a mere second, quickly interrupted by tsukishima's triumphant scream.
he looked more than content with his performance. he looked... happy.
the rest of the boys joined him, screaming in unison. it was just one point, right? but for some reason, for both you and tsukishima, this one was worth a thousand.
for the first time in years, tsukishima kei felt that his spark for volleyball came back.
you noticed that his eyes were now focused on you, a full, cheeky smile gracing his face, and it only made you tear up. a short moment, probably insignificant for people around, but for the two of you it was like a breath of fresh air, like getting rid of the shackles that once held you in place, enabling you from moving forward.
'y/n, are you... alright?' coach ukai looked with his brows slightly furrowed, confused by your teary eyes and big grin plastered to your face.
'yeah, yeah, i'm fine. sorry, coach.' you mumbled, bowing a little as your eyes focused on the court. 'actually, could kiyoko replace me here for the rest of the match? i'm not quite feeling well.'
'tsukishima is injured.'
'what?' akiteru spoke in unison with you, terrified voices mixing together as you looked down from the stands to see the boy walking off of the court and rushing to the medical office along with kiyoko. your instincts took over you - feet moving on their own as you quickly ran towards the same place.
the two blondes followed right behind you, stopping only when in front of the door to the medical office, gasping for air after such a short run. as athletic as your boyfriend was, you were quite the opposite; getting tired after a little to no physical activity at times.
tsukishima saw your head peeking through the doorframe, a small smile on his face the moment he laid eyes on you.before you opened your mouth to say something, he already gave you an answer.
'yes, i feel fine.' he stated quietly, sitting down on the edge of a chair. 'you don't need to worry.'
'are you going back on court?' he only gave you a small nod in response, seemingly feeling better already as he stood up, his hand taped up.
you looked up at him, taking in the expression on his face, just how focused he already was. he looked almost as if he already had a plan to defeat shiratorizawa in this match. seeing him so eager to go back and play almost made you laugh a little - you swore you never saw him get this invested into something ever.
'go and win then.' you mumbled, patting him on the shoulder as he headed towards the gym hall.
'oh don't worry. we will.'
you couldn't stop the tears rolling down your cheeks as you saw karasuno emerge victorious from the hardest volleyball match they had to play this year, hugging yachi tightly as both of you celebrated the win of your team.
the triumphant screams filled the gym hall, the team emotional after doing what many deemed impossible. as most of them enjoyed themselves, not planning on leaving the euphoric state for a long while, tsukishima could only think of doing one thing - going to you.
you were the only person he truly wanted to celebrate with.
after the ceremony of getting the medals, to everyone's utmost shock, considering your relationship wasn't exactly public, tsukishima went up to you almost immediately, a cocky smile on his face as he ruffled your hair, looking down at you from behind his glasses.
'you didn't exactly look quite as content with your performance before getting the prize.' you mumbled, looking at the blonde haired boy with your head tilted to the side.
'well, i could've blocked more of ushijima's spikes.' he started, rolling his eyes at the sole idea of not being able to do that during today's match. 'i only managed to block one and-'
you decided to use the only method that was for sure going to shut him up in that moment, lightly grabbing him by the tshirt and pulling him closer, lips clashing for a split second in a short, sweet kiss.
'no talking down on yourself today, kei.' you said, unconsciously smiling as you saw his face getting red at what you just did, cheeks covered by a tomato-like red colour. 'i'm proud of you no matter what you think about today's match.'
he stood still for a few seconds, as if processing what had just happened seconds ago, the redness on his face deepening with each passing moment. his hand was quick to grab yours, almost dragging you away from the team and to a more private, less occupied area of the building.
'do that again.' he mumbled, after he finally led you to a quiet hallway.
'huh?'
'it was... nice.'
your eyes lit up, a cheeky smile gracing your face as you finally realized what he was on about.
'ohh, you want another kiss?' you said teasingly, eyes quickly glancing from his face down to his lips. he rolled his eyes, unamused by your act of playing dumb.
'come on, don't make me repeat myself.' still somewhat embarrassed of what he was asking for, tsukishima stood in one place, awaiting your next action.
a sigh left your lips as you took a step towards your boyfriend, standing on your tippy toes to be able to reach his face.
'alright. i guess you deserve it, match mvp.'
your arms were wrapped around his neck in no time as your lips gently touched his, tsukishima immediately kissing you back, hands positioned on your waist as you felt a smile creeping up on his face. he let out a short laugh, seeing your face being just as red as his was moments ago, hand reaching to squeeze yours.
'what?' you mumbled, as he hasn't spoken a word since breaking the kiss.
'that's surely the best prize i got today.'
taglist: @moonswolfie @wyrcan @kitsune-kita
#tsxkkis#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#karasuno x reader#tsukishima fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff
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Hey, Mishka!!!
I've been replaying TWC over the last couple of months, and must say, it's been an entirely rejuvenating experience for me. Like, I was reading it the first time, although I've replayed the series quite too many (worrying number) of times already. And it still manages to amaze me, EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I've repeated this in the past, and I'll repeat it again. The Wayhaven Chronicles is a blessing for me and I'm sincerely thankful to have come across it when I did. And I'm grateful to you for making this lovely world a reality (and of course, the four beautiful vamps)! Really eager for Book 4 and have already player the demo; can say it's gonna be worth the wait. It every time is.
Replaying the series in the last few months, I had a certain uncontrollable urge to drop and ask a few questions to you. Apologize in advance for the long ask and message, but it had been bottling up inside of me for SOOOOOO LONG.
1. In Book 1, when we're to lead the investigation in one of the three directions, is there any way to get success in any direction without Bobby making a big joke out of our investigation in the newspaper?
2. In Book 2, when Nicole and Max Salinas come to report their incident, can Tina actually find out anything unusual? If so, what is actually needed to explain that?
3. In Book 3, I noticed if we choose to go the final mission alone, depending on the route chosen, Boddy/Doug will end up tagging along as well, jeopardizing everything. Is there still a way to complete the mission successfully and rescuing everyone like it happens when we go along with Rebecca?
4. Less of a question, but more of a plea. Please tell me we can get a pet anytime in the series. I was just curious if we can get one.
5. How powerful is the big baddie in Book 4 compared to Unit Bravo? You don't need to answer if this verges on spoiler-y territory.
Really sorry to overwhelm you with this, but it's just months and months of joy, happiness, and sheer ecstasy making me blabber on about this world like this. Thanks once again, for making this truly beautiful story, world, and the vampires a reality.
Have a good day!!!! Lots of love from India!!
You can never play a game you love too many times (I keep telling myself that as I gradually burn a hole into my poor old console playing Dragon Age over and over, lol!)! If it brings you happiness, then that's what is important! :D
Ok, let's see about the questions...it's been a whole since I've gone through the older games without being in editing mode, hehe!
I don't think so...Bobby is, well, Bobby. And that scene was there very much to establish their character and show the player what type of person they are.
I don't think so, again. If there's anything unusual or odd, then I usually like to let the MC find that instead of it happening 'off-screen' so it's more impactful for the player—unless it's Verda discovering stuff, because that needs to happen for…reasons.
Iirc, in the Bobby/Doug routes, you get the auction scene, so a lot of that branch involves focusing on saving yourself! But the other team that joins Unit Bravo will help in saving a lot of the captives in that version.
I would love that being a massive animal companion fan myself, hehe! But likely not, just because the MC is away a lot from home, and that's unfair on the pet, even a fictional one, lol. I was tempted to give the MC a supernatural pet that hung around at the facility—that was definitely a strong idea at one point just so I could write a pet in the series for those that wanted it (me, I was the one who wanted it, hehe!) :D
**BOOK FOUR DEMO SPOILERS AHEAD** It's not just that Book Four's villain is terrifyingly powerful (or will be. They are, thankfully for the MC and UB, in a weakened state for a while due to what's happened to them and what happened in Chapter Two) but it's a lot to do with the fact that their power specifically counteracts and weakens Unit Bravo's. So that's a double whammy!
Thank you SO incredibly much for the amazing message! It means more than you can know <3
#the wayhaven chronicles#asks#interactive fiction#unit bravo#twc detective#romance#vampires#twc book 4#the wayhaven chronicles book 4#twc demo#twc book 4 demo#twc spoilers#twc book 4 spoilers#spoilers#narrative#villain romance#bobby marks#pets#douglas friedman#supernatural powers
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ok some things i LIKED about tua 4 since we all have talked exclusively about what we hated (SPOILERS AHEAD):
idc what anyone says the baby shark bit was iconic every time it came on i jammed
klaus had a comic book storyline from hotel oblivion!! let’s go source material!!
diego and luther being himbos
allison and klaus friendship
the entire birthday party scene was hilarious and fun and so THEM ok
the road trip scene that was in the trailer such iconic sibling goofy clownery they’re fucking idiots
klaus. he was in it. any time i get to see my little freak is time well spent.
incredibly unpopular opinion but i liked the ending i think they need an end from the cycle of apocalypses and suffering like they deserve a rest they’ve earned it and it was sweet that they all went together and the “i love you guys………but you’re all such fucking assholes” and then “fuck you” and everyone laughing and crying and THEN AND THEN ALL THE CHARACTERS FROM THE VARIOUS SEASONS BEING AT THE END i was SOBBING
klaus having a podcast of himself giving himself affirmations like that’s so funny
they actually gave somewhat of a shit about each other like diego was so DAD my babies have grown up but not too much they’re still fucking toddlers
lila is so pretty and funny and hot and unhinged she means so much to me
lila and klaus friendship!! lila and allison!! bonding!!
gene and jean were SUCH classic umbrella academy characters. loved them.
viktor gets all the pussy
i cannot stress how much all of the group scenes were so fucking sibling i love them ok
NO LUTHER AND ALLISON INCEST THANK FUCK
THUNDERBOLT THE GHOST DOG <3<3<3
klaus and claire oh my god i love uncle klaus so much and he loves her so much
seeing sober klaus and how hard he tried and then the heartbreak when that went away because he’s KLAUS he’s gerard way’s trauma self insert. as much as i want klaus to be safe and content and free from all this bullshit it was just so consistent and i can appreciate that. and i cried like a little bitch it was truly devastating but it was just sooooo klaus. also getting to see him make it incredibly clear that he didn’t want his powers back—him being the ONLY ONE who didn’t want his powers back—was important to me idk. and he was LOVED like he has a family!! he is cared for!! ahhHHHHHH!! love it
claire was great and getting to see her and allison and their tumultuous relationship and their love for each other after all of these seasons of allison looking for her and just wanting to be with her daughter
klaus got dave’s dog tags <3
more flashbacks to brellie kids!!
getting answers to some series-long mysteries
the underground subway system between timelines was so fucking cool and mindfucky 100/10
klaus’s look being reminiscent of s1 sorry that was my favourite klaus look ok
their sort of evolved powers when they got them back
so many good one liners and comedic scenes
ben being a crypto bro is SO FUNNY
will add stuff as i think of it. this is incredibly out of character for me i am an eternal pessimist but i did enjoy s4 (mostly because, as an eternal pessimist, my expectations are always low) so here we are.
#the umbrella academy#tua#tua season 4#tua spoilers#the umbrella academy comics#gerard way#klaus hargreeves#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#gene thibedeau#jean thibedeau#ben hargreeves#claire hargreeves#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#the sparrow academy#lila pitts#dave katz#klave#sparrow!ben#yeet my deet#gabriel bà#dark horse comics#reginald hargreeves#abigail hargreeves#the jennifer incident#brellies
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I have some issues with how the action scenes and tension were done in this episode, but if there’s one thing I can say is how WELL this script truly understands these characters, their fatal flaws, and the underlying themes of the entire series.
They understand that Percy is so trusting of Luke immediately that he doesn’t want to bring him on the quest. The quick glimmer of resentment in Luke’s eyes that would go unnoticeable to someone who’s never heard this story before when he mentions that the shoes are a gift from his father. Percy choosing someone who he knew would never betray him, and someone he thought he’d keep at arm’s length to go on the quest, instead. The differences between his goals and Annabeth’s goals, the small secrets they’ve already kept from each other, and how it’d inevitably drive distrust and suspicion between them immediately.
Annabeth’s anger and denial of the gods’ often self-serving and shitty ways because she wants approval from a parental figure so badly. Her arrogance and pride towards her heritage. Percy’s willingness to trust in people, and already brewing anger towards the gods making him more willing to hear Medusa out, because deep down, he knows there’s part of him that is already resentful. Medusa getting into both of their heads by telling them they’re doomed to repeat their parents’ mistakes, doomed to repeat the cycle.
But Percy still deciding he’d rather risk death than betray Annabeth and Grover to Medusa, even as she preys on his loyalty, and Annabeth being unwilling to give up Percy to Alecto when she had the chance, even as she has her own pride used against her. It causing both of them to realize that maybe they’re not who they initially who they thought each other were. The unspoken knowledge that this quest is so much bigger than their own desires and grudges, at the end of the day.
I’m just so excited about the way Rick is clearly able to go back and edit and incorporate themes that are introduced later on in the books, expand on character beats that he feels are important, etc. It’s been so cool to watch so far.
#pjo spoilers#percy jackson#pjo series#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson series#percy jackson disney+#percabeth#rick riordan#pjo#spoilers pjo show#annabeth chase#grover underwood#pjo episode 3#walker scobell#leah sava jeffries#lyn talks pjo
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it's still settling in how truly wild it is that we're seeing maria robotnik return as an actual character. in canon we'd seen, what, two scenes in adventure 2, and those missions in shadow the hedgehog? we kiiiiiinda saw more of her in archie, but it was still so limited
now, not only do we have a new animated short showing more of her excitable personality & illness, but she's presumably going to be a rather prominent character in shadow gens
maria's always been a really important character in the series (with it being arguable as to whether the entire series would've even happened if she had lived) but it's gonna be really cool to see more of her in the flesh. her mannerisms, her thought process, the things she says, etc. all have so much room for expansion now
oh and as a footnote, the angst opportunities here are delicious. shadow having to resign maria to her fate in order to restore the proper flow of time? diabolical.
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#sxsg#shadow generations#maria robotnik#mind of mobi#mobi likes sonic
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the meaning behind "face the raven" theme in "wild blue yonder" and more
a continuation of this post. i need to talk about this otherwise i'll explode.
some people have also said that this theme is playing in "last christmas" and "hell bent" (thank you for pointing that out, i'm going to die) which makes it all even worse (better). therefore, this post is, more or less, destined to turn into capaldi's era brainrot. but not all of it, i promise.
you've been warned.
first of all, allow me to refresh your memory. let's look into the context of the scenes where we heard this music theme before.
"last christmas"
according to series 8 official soundtrack, this theme is a part of "every christmas is last christmas" and is heard quite clearly two times. they're both important scenes for the doctor and clara.
too late.
a moment full of regrets and nostalgia. the doctor thinking he's lost clara again, wishing he would have come back sooner. clara reminicing her life without the doctor in it.
"so no one matched up to danny, eh?" "there was one other man, but that would never have worked out." "why not?" "he was impossible."
it is (heavily) implied that "one other man" is the doctor. does the doctor himself realise that she's talking about him? open for interpretation. but what this small exchange truly does is showing a game of saying something without actually saying it.
"can you really see no difference in me?" "clara oswald, you will never look any different to me."
yet another way of dancing around words. there's something special and touching about this last line. it is sort of a confession of unconditional love. but the word itself - love - is never spoken out loud.
then again, twelfth might be face blind.
second chances.
now, this scene is a complete opposite of the one mentioned above. it's full of hope, anticipation, happiness. a beginning of a new arc. he is given a second chance and he takes it. the doctor asks clara to run away with him once again. and she says "yes" without hesitation, takes his hand, kisses him on the cheek.
conclusion? these two scenes are focused entirely on the doctor and clara's relationship. it is there to show their strong connection, how much they mean to one another. utter devastation at the thought of their time ending and the absolute joy of reuniting after being separated. a chance at a happy ending. which also makes the music that plays on the background their theme.
"face the raven"
"every christmas is last christmas" is now turned into "face the raven" and is asocciated with clara's death. it also makes the previous name even more heartwrenching since last christmas was literally clara and doctor's last hurrah. we can hear this piece of music appear in two scenes as well.
clara's monologue about facing the raven.
"if danny pink can do it so can i. die right. die like i mean it, face the raven. maybe this is what i wanted. maybe this is it. maybe this is why i kept running. maybe this is why i kept taking all those stupid risks, kept pushing it."
she's accepting her fate and aknowleges her recklesness all the way throught the season 9. it was meant to be. there wasn't enough space for two doctors in the tardis.
"i let you get reckless" "why? why shouldn't i be reckless? you're reckless all the bloody time! why can't i be like you?" "clara, there's nothing special about me. i'm nothing but less breakable than you. i should've taken care of you."
this scene is also about how a human life can be so very short compared to the time lord's and how easily it can end. it's fragile. and it's the doctor's curse: bearing the pain of losing his loved ones.
clara meeting her fate.
as she approaches the raven, ever so brave, the doctor watches her. he hears clara scream, then witness her collapsing onto the ground. it is extremely painful, but this is, i repeat, the doctor's curse: watching his companions leave. there's no use in running away from that pain, it haunts him every step of the way.
"hell bent"
next time, "face the raven" theme can be heard during the memory wipe sequence. there is no name given for the background music in this particular moment, but it's quite obvious it represents loss and... letting go?
the doctor is about to make clara forget their time together (does that ring a bell, anyone?).
it is worth pointing out that the music becomes the loudest at the exact moment the doctor says:
"look how far i went for fear of losing you. this has to stop. one of us has to go."
it is the culmination of their relationship. companions that push each other to extremes. together they might destroy the whole universe in order to keep each other safe. there's no other way but to separate. they've formed such a strong connection than one is ought to forget the other.
even though at first the doctor is determined to wipe clara's memories, he then admits she is right: it is unfair to take away all that wonderful time they had from her. so he gives her a choice. or, more like, an offer to play a russian roulette. it's either you or me. i'm not going to press that button. we will do this together.
to summarise: all of these moments featured a strong connection between clara and the doctor. it also tells us a story about how hard it is to lose someone you care about deeply, especially for the doctor.
how is it all connected to the doctor and donna?
memory wipe
the doctor has to make donna and clara forget about him in order to keep them safe. expect that he doesn't give donna a choice, wiping her memory almost instantly, without saying a proper goodbye to her. obviously, he didn't have enough time to think of a better way to solve the problem since donna wouldn't have lasted long. however, it is still a decision he regrets making.
from "the star beast":
"i'm so glad you're back, donna. it killed me, it killed me, it killed me."
if we take a look at clara's situation, it's a bit different. i've already mentioned it above: at first, the doctor wants to do the same thing to clara that he did to donna. make her forget. expect, this time he is confronted for doing so (even threatened, at some point).
"these have been the best years of my life and they're mine."
i think this line triggers something in the doctor. because this is when he realises that this is not the right thing to do. not exactly. he'd already done it once and he regretted it. so this time, he offers a slightly different solution. someone still has to forget, but they'll press that button together. it's a mutual choice.
now, i know it's not entirely related to the dialogue in "wild blue yonder", but i think it's worth mentioning that donna and clara's stories are somewhat similar. i'm sure it's been said before, but it's still important.
donna's story was incomplete because she wasn't given a choice. now, that she remembers, 14th doctor makes sure their time together is worth-while. a second chance just like in "last christams".
too alike
another similarity between these two stories is that clara and donna are not entirely humans. not anymore.
donna's half timelord. even though her head is still not big enough to fit all the doctor's memories, she still has a part of the doctor in her.
clara's frozen in time, that makes her practically immortal. she risks her life, she reverses the polarity of the neuroblock, she gets her own tardis, she's even reffered to as "clara who" at the end of "hell bent". she has become the doctor in a sense.
but there can only be one doctor. so where's the story heading to at this point, i wonder? but we'll come back to this question later.
"but what really happened?"
before i say anything, it is obvious that the doctor's silence before and after he says "a lot" is him reminicing all that'd happened to him during the 11th, 12th and 13th reincarnations. all of the loss and pain he went through.
but why "face the raven" theme of all things? it could be a general theme of grief/nostalgia/painful memories, nothing else implied.
but please let me be delusional for a bit longer!
just as that scene in "hell bent" brought the doctor back to the moment he made donna forget him, could it be that bringing back his best friend's memories in a whole universe that "he absolutely loves", also reminded him of another important person in his life with similar story? just like "hell bent" mirrored "the journey's end", "wild blue younder" gave us a reference to "hell bent".
this is where we get back to the question about the current story direction.
foreshadowing?
donna's story is not over. and there are a lot of possibilities how it can end.
say, there is a connection to clara's story here, i wonder if that's where the plot's heading. in one of the trailers, the doctor does say "i'm not sure if i can save you this time" to donna. and it worries me. then again, maybe they're just tricking us into thinking something bad will happen (oh the drama).
i'd say it's unlikely donna's going to die because that would be absolutely devastating after just bringing her back. at the very least, the ending wouldn't be completely "happily ever after". perhaps, sacrifices will be made in order to prevent something truly horrible from happening.
why did this face come back?
in "the girl who died" twelfth doctor finally realises why he got his face. it is a call-back to "the fires of pompei" (don't even get me started on its being the episode with 10th and donna).
the message the doctor was giving to himself turned out to be:
"i'm the doctor and i save people!"
but what is 14th trying to tell himself?
i think it's about donna and more.
he's fixing his mistake of erasing her memories and depriving her of the right to remember amazing things that'd happened to her.
it's a reminder to actually tell people how much they mean to him. as we can see, 14th's more open with his feelings and constantly shows signs of affection towards his loved ones, even breaking the "never say i love you" rule.
it's about being honest and open with people because they deserve to hear it from him and he deserves to hear it back. because "things happen and then it's too late".
again, take 12th doctor, for instance. he constantly represses his feelings. but in my humble opinion, the reason why he's changed by season 10 was clara. she pulled him out of the dark place. and even though her death almost threw him back to that state again, he is still a better man by season 10.
but there were things left unsaid. love and care were always there but it was never said out loud. kind of the same thing happened with 13th.
i strongly believe that donna is that person for 14th. they're best friends who love each other deeply. and after the doctor lost her and got a second chance to fix everything, he does, he's being affectione. he's finally open with his feelings.
conslusion: why did you make us read all fo this?
to answer the question in the title: it's all tied with how memories are important and priceless, fixing past mistakes, moving on and learning to treasure every moment with people you care about like it's your last.
it can also be a foreshadowing for something terrible, but i choose to hope for the better.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
aaaand that is the end of my doctor who rant. thank you for getting this far, if you did!
my feelings about all of this can be described with this one meme:
#doctor who#doctor who meta#dw#dw spoilers#wild blue yonder#twelfth doctor#fourteenth doctor#tenth doctor#donna noble#clara oswald#face the raven#last christmas#hell bent#twelveclara#whouffaldi#i'm sincerely sorry if you've stumbled across some stupid grammatical or other mistakes while reading#i wrote a part of this at 3am#[unhinged analysis]
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yo yo! ttrpg trick or treat!
I mean if you're gonna come at me with this I'm never gonna turn down a chance to talk about City of Mist and its spinoffs, the game I am the most normal anyone has ever been about anything. (if I understand the rules correctly, this is Treat)
ahem.
City of Mist is an urban fantasy noir RPG heavily inspired by Netflix's Daredevil TV series. It now comes in LGBT-themed Sentai flavor (Queerz!) and Cyberpunk flavor ( :Otherscape) as well, with a High Fantasy version (Legend in the Mist) in the works! It also has some pretty great community support, just look up City of Mist Garage on DriveThruRPG!
The thing this game does that makes it special to me is that player creation and advancement is almost 100% driven by character development, and it does it better than most other RPGs that I've seen that try to offer the same.
at character creation, you choose four Themes for your character. You use these themes to determine what kind of character you're working with, and what kind of skills their life experience might have given them. It's also how you can tie in fantasy elements and give yourself literal super powers.
Once you've chosen your Themes, you answer four questions about your character for each Theme. These become your Power Tags, which you use in place of stats to make your roll modifiers, as well as your Weakness Tags, which you or the MC can invoke to give you a -1 to a roll, or to add a complication to the current scene. (this also gives you an XP point in that Theme so it's worth it to you to let this happen.)
But the other thing that comes with every Theme is a Mystery or an Identity. The idea of City of Mist is that you aren't born with powers, you Awaken to them when a Mythos - an idea, concept, or character from a story - decides to enact its will through you. Examples from the pre-made characters would be Excalibur, the wealthy socialite who became the Rift of King Arthur after she finds the Ultimate Weapon, which manifests for her as a piece of jewlery that transforms into whatever she needs in the moment. But the idea of a Mythos never fully survives contact with reality, as your character is still the person they were before - someone with a life, family, friends, goals - an identity. Another of the pre-gens is Kit, a Kitsune spirit who manifested itself fully in our world, but has disguised itself as a teenage girl after falling in love with a boy. Her affections form an identity outside of her purpose as a Mythos.
You as a player have the choice between trying to live the life you had before by creating Identities for your Logos themes - things that anchor you to your life in this world - or by pursing mysteries for your Mythos themes - finding out what your Mythos expects of you, and then deciding whether or not to do it.
Progression in this is interesting because the main story will put your characters' identities in conflict with the will of their Mythos, as well as the needs of the group as a whole. As you play, you can decide that your character is ignoring their Mystery to the point that getting answers no longer truly matters to them, or abandoning their Identity to the point that they wouldn't recognize their old self anymore. The attention to the themes you advance the plot of will grant you new powers in those themes, whereas the ones you allow to fade away will eventually be replaced by new character aspects that became important in the meantime. And it happens entirely at your discretion - the MC can't tell you to mark Crack/Fade on a Theme, they can't force you to explore your characters' personal story arc, but doing so MAKES YOUR CHARACTER GROW AND CHANGE, WHICH IS HOW YOU LEVEL UP!
I could probably write a few more paragraphs about this game if anyone cared.
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[ENG] PARDO - Interview with Luca Marinelli
“Luca Marinelli is a true phenomenon!” This is how Paolo Virzì, who directed him in Tutti i santi giorni in 2012, defined the actor a few years ago. He was absolutely right. Throwing himself body and soul into each of his roles, Luca Marinelli does not limit himself to playing a part, but manages to transform himself completely, creating intense, charismatic, unique characters. From the young introverted mathematician in La solitudine dei numeri primi (2010) by Saverio Costanzo, to Roberta in L’ultimo terrestre (2011) by Gipi; from the criminal in Non essere cattivo (2015) by Claudio Caligari to the cult character of the Zingaro in Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot (2015) by Gabriele Mainetti; from the proletarian intellectual in Martin Eden (2019) by Pietro Marcello, to the King of Terror in Diabolik (2021) by Manetti Bros; from Nicky, the immortal warrior, in The Old Guard (2020) by Gina Prince-Bythewood, to Pietro, a fervent mountain enthusiast in Le otto montagne (2022) by Felix Van Groeningen and Charlotte Vandermeersch; Luca Marinelli has been able to give life, thanks to his prodigious versatility, to an extraordinary range of characters who all bear the unmistakable sign of his talent.
Maria Giovanna Vagenas: In your current career as an actor there are two important works coming out soon: the television series M. Son of the Century by Joe Wright and The Old Guard 2, by Victoria Mahoney. While waiting to be able to see them, I would like to start by addressing a perhaps less well-known but equally essential side of your work: your debut as a theater director in 2023 with Kafka's Una relazione per un’accademia, for the Festival dei Due Mondi of Spoleto. How did this project, on which you collaborated with the German actor Fabian Jung, come about?
Luca Marinelli: The first idea for this project dates back to ten years ago when I saw Fabian at his graduation performance at the Ernst Busch Academy of Dramatic Art in Berlin. I found it extraordinary, and on that occasion I had already told him: "In my opinion you should recite this text!" Then there was a ten year gap. Towards the end of the pandemic, I proposed to him that we work together on Una relazione per un’accademia. At the beginning we had to be both on stage a bit, later I understood that it would have been more sensible to mount this piece with just one actor and I asked him if he would like to be directed by me.
MGV: What was your approach as a director?
LM: At the beginning of this project I was more of a kind of acting coach - Fabian acts in Italian, even though he doesn't speak it - then I began to understand what it meant to be a director, to take responsibility for everything the public will come to see, to make many decisions and to take care of an entire team. In this context, the exchange of ideas with Fabiana Piccioli, who deals with the light design of the show, was essential: the theatrical piece is in fact a kind of dialogue between the actor and the light, the space and the audience. Being a theater director is also a question of trust. In the cinema the director is very present until the end of the production process, but in the theater you get up to a certain point and then that's it, because the real work, evening after evening, falls to the actors and technicians, that is, to those who are in the scene and around it. The director is no longer part of the performance, he’s almost the first spectator of his own work. It was a very beautiful experience for me, because being "outside", that is, not being on the scene but in front of it, is truly something completely different! In February-March 2025, we will take this show on tour around Italy.
MGV: Do you plan to continue along this path in the future? Is it an experience that has opened up new perspectives for you?
LM: It's a road I'd like to explore, that of theater. I would like to return to the stage as an actor-director, a bit like a master, let's say. I feel that theater is much more accessible to me, while I know very little about the technical side of cinema and for which I have great respect, so for now I don't feel like it.
MGV: You come from a family close to the world of entertainment. It seems that as a kid you watched a lot of movies with your grandmother. I would be curious to know how your desire to become an actor was born in this context.
LM: My father is first and foremost an actor who is also dedicated to dubbing and my grandmother, as you said - a great cinephile. I owe a lot to every member of my family, whether they work in the arts or not. However, I cannot tell you where this desire comes from, each of us has a drive within us, and is attracted by something. Indeed, I grew up watching many films and, thanks to my father, I happened to know this work in various forms. But when you are very young it is difficult to say: I want to do this! I felt very attracted by the world of theater and cinema, by the idea of expressing myself in a way that went beyond words, which approached images, sounds, the body. I wasn't fully aware of it from the beginning, but now I feel that it's exactly this: I love observing an interpreter's body, listening to their voice. I love seeing a group working together and I love teamwork. The profession of actor contained within itself a bit of everything that nourished my curiosity. This desire has been growing more and more. My family has always been very supportive and has never hindered me in anything. Rather, I was the one who hindered myself, until, at a certain moment, I gave myself permission to approach this profession and entered the Silvio D'Amico National Academy of Dramatic Art. They were three wonderful years during which I gave free rein to all my curiosity and desire for expression. The relationship with my class was fundamental and magical. From there, little by little, I moved forward. Almost immediately, cinema arrived with Saverio Costanzo who hired me for La solitudine dei numeri primi together with Alba Rohrwacher. I auditioned while I was still at the Academy and was acting in the final recital Dream of a Summer Night directed by Carlo Cecchi. I finished the Academy and immediately went on set for the first time.
MGV: You found Carlo Cecchi again as an actor on the set of Martin Eden (2019) by Pietro Marcello many years later.
LM: Of course, and it was wonderful to meet again! I consider Carlo my teacher, he is the first who truly made me understand the importance and urgency of this profession. 2012 was the last time I was on the boards of a stage and was with him. Carlo Cecchi had become very fond of us all and with this graduation essay he managed to take us on tour. Basically we did two theater seasons from 2010 until February 2012.
MGV: Are there other directors, among all those you have collaborated with, that you consider to be your teachers?
LM: I met some great directors during my journey, each had their own vision of art, so it's as if I had many different teachers along a single professional journey. I would practically name them all, but I would also name the actors I simply observed in films.
MGV: Between the actors who inspired and influenced you, who would you quote?
LM: For the sake of equality, I only mention the actors of the past. There are many who have struck me but I always evoke Anna Magnani, Silvana Mangano, Marlon Brando and Massimo Troisi. These are the first huge names that come to mind. When I 'met' them on the screen I immediately realized I was faced with something unique and great. I like to mention these four names also because they belong to a moment in my life in which I still didn't know what I would do, but I was drawn towards them.
MGV: Non essere cattivo (2015) was Claudio Caligari's last, poignant and wonderful film, released posthumously. What are your memories of him?
LM: Claudio Caligari was a gigantic meeting for me, from him I learned how important expression and communication, sharing and respect are. I understood how much this profession is life and how much life can be put into it. I witnessed enormous courage and a great knowledge of filmmaking. I also learned the dedication and immense respect that one must have for the public, for what is proposed, for how one interacts with those who come to see a film, without ever putting oneself on a pedestal but being all together. Caligari taught me to never judge myself, nor others, nor the stories one tells nor the characters one plays but that one must stay with them, inhabit them. These are the few things, fundamental for me, that come to mind. Beyond this, every single memory is a source of inspiration and guidance for me. And then the certainty that love and passion are the only things that really keep us here and now, alive.
MGV: In 2019 you played the complex character of Martin Eden in the film of the same name directed by Pietro Marcello, and you won the Volpi Cup at the Venice Film Festival. What did this role mean to you? And what was it like working with Pietro Marcello?
LM: The collaboration with Pietro arose from a secular prayer which has been fulfilled over the years. I was a great observer of his work and his art and finally being able to work together was a great gift, a true exchange based on trust. We all found ourselves in a moment of grace, in a state that allowed us to work with great concentration and dedication together. As for the role, I think Martin Eden is one of the most beautiful male characters of the last century, in one of the most powerful novels ever written. I owe a lot to this character, not only a very prestigious award, but also important artistic and personal growth.
MGV: You have played an extremely wide range of roles, spanning from one film genre to another. Beyond your exuberant talent and the extreme versatility of your performances, what is striking about your acting is the generosity with which you embrace each character, offering your all. How do you prepare your roles?
LM: It's like a kind of love at first sight; I fall in love with the story, with the character and from that moment on I begin to see everything in that direction. It is an almost routine behavior that I have never schematised. If someone were to ask me, "How do you approach a character?" I would answer that I have no idea, but every time I do it more or less in the same way. There is certainly a certain affinity with the director and an involvement in the script and the character. Little by little I'm starting to eat all the information I can find. I am often offered films to watch, and then I discuss them with the director. I love working with imagination and thinking about every element of the character. I like being with the costume designer, working on the costume and then creating the look of my character with makeup and hair. I'm very happy when I can have my say too. As I said before, I fall in love with the character and I begin to see everything in that light. My wife always tells me: "You've already started!" I don't notice but she does! "You've already started!" it means that everything has started to take on that colour, but I don't do it on purpose, I believe that there is a more intelligent, unconscious part inside me that organizes my work. It's a bit like this!
MGV: A few years ago Paolo Virzì, who directed you in Tutti i santi giorni, said of you: "Luca is a phenomenon, he's intelligent, witty, but at the same time he's crazy, he becomes what he's doing. All the great actors have a kind of lack, a defect, they know who they are and therefore they are enthusiastic about becoming the one who proposes to them!" What do you think?
LM: I agree with him, all this is said with deep love and therefore I accept everything he says about me. I love Paolo so much and I think he understood me more than I understood myself. In fact I think none of us really have a clear focus on who we are and what we can be. Of course this is an interview from a few years ago, perhaps now I know slightly more - but only slightly [laughs] - who I am because I am closing, so to speak, the first act of my life, given that this year I will be turning 40!
MGV: Being an actor is a collective profession. Over the course of your career, a very significant bond has been created between you and Alessandro Borghi, with whom you collaborated for the first time in Non essere cattivo and who you met again on the set of Le otto montagne of Felix Van Groeningen and Charlotte Vandermeersch, Jury Prize at Cannes. Could you tell me about your working relationship and your friendship?
LM: I'll start from the beginning of what you said; for me this isn’t a job we do by ourselves. This art doesn’t exist without the other. Even a monologue is not done alone but with the audience. Acting is always a way of expressing oneself and communicating. I adore, as I said before, teamwork, over the years I have happened to work with many wonderful colleagues who have become important friends and then there was this magnificent meeting with Alessandro during Non essere cattivo, a film that carries within itself something sacred due to how it was approached, and due to the strength of the great Claudio Caligari who created it. The two of us found ourselves actors in this extraordinary work which united us so much, creating a deep bond between us which at that moment was needed, let's say, for the film but which the film then gave us for life. Since then this friendship has continued and gone forward, without interruption. After Non essere cattivo for six years we were no longer able to work together, then suddenly another wonderful film arrived, full of love: Le otto montagne and thanks to two fantastic directors, Felix and Charlotte, we managed to make this friendship coincide again on the screen too. Alessandro and I are good together. At work, to put it in a football metaphor, for me it's like I always know where the other guy is so I can make a cross almost with my eyes closed because I know he gets the ball, stops it and shoots it towards goal! We have great chemistry and on set, we don't need to worry too much. I hope we can work together again soon. I happened to see an interview where we said that we promised ourselves not to wait another seven years to do it, but now it's been almost three years already so we have to hurry!
MGV: For a few years now you have also started an important international career by participating in important productions such as The Old Guard by Gina Prince-Bythewood with Charlize Theron which was a huge success on Netflix, the series Trust (2018) by Danny Boyle, written by Simon Beaufoy and starring, among others, Donald Sutherland, and a production for German television: Die Pfeiler der Macht (A Dangerous Fortune, 2016), by Christian Schwochow. How did you experience dealing with all these new production realities?
LM: In every latitude there is a slightly different type of approach but essentially the work is always the same. The thing that always excites me is that, ultimately, we all find ourselves in the common language of acting, of art. I was lucky enough to work with some wonderful international casts, not only every single actor but also the technical departments and directors were wonderful people. Ultimately, the place changes geographically, but the work remains the same.
MGV: As a member of the Jury of the International Competition, what will your evaluation criteria be?
LM: I was just looking at the list of films in competition and judging by the images that accompany them I already like them all, so maybe I'm off to a bad start! [laughs] I don't actually have any specific parameters. I certainly won't judge only the performers, but I will look at the film as a whole. However, for me it is essential to start from the assumption of great respect for the film itself, because every film is a work that requires great efforts from many people and for this reason must be evaluated with consideration. Having said that, I would like to have a good dialogue with the film, an intelligent dialogue on an intellectual and emotional level. In short, I hope that a film leaves me with a thought, a sensation, an emotion.
As usual, sorry for any mistake and my English
#luca marinelli#the old guard cast#tog cast#film#the old guard#intervista#interview#eng translation#eng trans#mine#magazine#rivista#locarno film festival#Pardo
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The Queer Subtext of the CATFA Bar Scene
(Long post, alt text included)
While there are countless examples of evidence to support the idea that Steve & Bucky had romantic tension, none stick out to me quite like the bar scene in catfa
In this post, I will go over the reasons this scene is so important to their relationship
First of all, let’s talk about the heartfelt conversation the two were having prior to Peggy’s arrival. Bucky expressing his admiration for Steve’s bravery, before and after the serum, as he specifies:
This scene displays Bucky’s admiration for Steve, no matter what he looks like. One of my favorite lines.
Not to mention this totally not-subtle remark…
Now let’s talk about the painfully obvious jealousy Bucky showed while Steve and Peggy were flirting. He even started passive-aggressively “flirting” with Peggy while she and Steve were eye-fcking.
Through heteronormative eyes, this may look like Bucky’s jealous of Steve’s new status as “ladies-man”. But if you truly know their characters, you know that’s not true.
As if his jealousy wasn’t already evident enough, look at the death-stare he gives Peggy as she walks away. He is FURIOUS 😭
A new bout of evidence for the queer subtext of this scene was conjured by episode 1 of what if..? when marvel was desperately trying to force feed us steggy, they accidentally confirmed a stucky theory.
In what if, there’s a romantic scene with Steve and Peggy at a bar, and they were interrupted by bucky just before they were going to kiss… sound familiar?
Marvel has been aggressively trying to get us invested in steggy post-endgame, and has done so by attempting to erase Steve and Bucky’s relationship entirely. This is even more evident in the Disneyland adaptation of “Rogers: the musical” adapted from the Hawkeye series.
Now the last topic is, in my opinion, the most evident of Steve and buckys romantic subtext. That is, of course, the song choice of the bar scene.
Throughout the scene, the howling commandos and others can be heard singing “there is a tavern in the town”. How exactly does this confirm stucky? Well let’s look at the lyrics…
Come ON these lyrics perfectly describe buckys POV during this scene. This song choice was no accident in this essay I will 😤
There’s actually a YouTube video that points this “coincidence” out! I recommend you watch so you can see what I mean:
youtube
In conclusion? Bucky was undoubtedly in love with Steve and this scene is a certified stevebucky classic
thanks for reading <3
#stucky#it’s so painfully obvious goddamn#originally posted this on Twitter but hopefully it’ll gain more traction here lol#captain america#catfa#steve rogers#bucky barnes#stevebucky#Youtube
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To be somewhat fair to OPLA, I don’t think the issues with the structural and story issues of the season can be entirely chalked up to “execs gonna exec.” A lot of it feels like it’s because the standard formula for live action television just feels fundamentally incompatible with the thing they were adapting. Live action tv’s comfort zone can be summed up as two people sitting in a room commenting on the plot, and then every 10-15 minutes the action (or “action” depending on the genre) happens. Which is a format that has made for some truly great, critically acclaimed television, but is fundamentally at odds with action-adventure/roadtrip format of One Piece. Between the inclusion of Garp and weird structural issues like characters randomly vanishing or plot points being immediately resolved/dropped, it feels like the live action adaptation is dragging its source material kicking and screaming into fitting that structure.
Season 1 was always going to be a little weird because they were going to have to make an overarching narrative where one did not initially exist in the manga. TV shows almost always utilize an A and a B plot story structure, so the marines were slotted into that B story arc role. This worked pretty good for Coby and Helmeppo, with the added bonus of them being able to adapt their cover story, but the Garp material was bad and the pacing of these scenes was also bad. However, I think it’s important to note that characters sitting around in an office set that can be reused for multiple episodes (or a set like Baratie that was already built) is cheaper than the island jumping the Straw Hats were doing. It was an efficient use of the budget for Garp to be the B plot, even if it mangled his character. This is and will continue to be something the live action will have to fight against for as long as it exists, so I would say get used to characters sitting around indoor sets talking. Otherwise an already ridiculously expensive series would just get exponentially more expensive.
TV shows also typically use mid season twists to help drive the narrative towards their second half, and as much as it pains me to say it, revealing Garp is Luffy’s grandpa early makes for a really good mid season twist. It recontextualizes everything that came before it and sets up a compelling drama for the episodes that come after. I’d have no problem with this, except, again, Garp was written really, really poorly.
The Alabasta saga has none of these problems. There is a natural marine B plot with Smoker and Tashigi that already exists in the manga with them spending a lot of time talking in offices (Crocodile also spends a lot of time hiding in an office so bonus points there, although if they are going to CGI some giant bananadiles that’d be expensive). There is an overarching narrative already written where one did not exist in the East Blue. And there is a compelling mid season twist in revealing Vivi is a princess. But by splitting the saga the live action is now going to have to come up with a narrative arc ending for the season where one does not exist in the manga, creating almost the opposite problem of season 1. Wapol as he is in the manga does not make for a compelling end of season villain like Arlong does, and I suspect that they’re going to turn Mr. 3 into that role instead just based on who they cast.
Now, while I think the live action did a good job capturing the Straw Hats, the blistering pace for season 1 meant that very few of the side characters that are so important to the manga got time to breathe, or really even exist (rip Gin), and slowing down the pace will help alleviate that flaw. The giants on Little Garden will have time to shine. Zoro vs 100 Baroque Works agents will have time to exist. The live action onlys will get it cry over a giant whale.
But dammit all, I want to have my cake and eat it too. Give me 10 episode seasons when the material calls for it, and give shorter sagas like Skypiea shorter seasons. Take the time to adapt the story that’s already there in the form that makes the most sense instead of Frankenstein’s Monstering one of the best selling comics of all time into the format a bunch of suits insist upon because of algorithm bullshit. Just let a good story be told well and the people will watch it, just as much as they watched season 1.
The sad thing is that season 1’s success proves to the suits with algorithms that 8 episodes is the way to go. If it had been less popular the solution would have been cancellation instead of fixing the pacing, and that’s why thinking too much about the state of modern TV depresses me.
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who the fuck even is abram
OK I LOVED WRITING MY NEIL VS NATHANIEL ESSAY SM SO NOW I'VE GOT ONE FOR ABRAM. spoilers ahead and continue at ur own risk !!!
abram is a mildly easier "character" to dissect than nathaniel or neil because neil explicitly states who abram is and contrasts him to nathaniel and neil: "neil" might be an easily-spooked runaway, and "nathaniel" was a hunted young man, but "abram" was the one shielded from and untouched by his father's bloody business.
the first time we hear of abram is when neil is trying to convince andrew to trust him with kevin's safety so andrew can leave for rehab w that security. andrew points out (rightly) that all neil does is lie, so how can he be trusted w someone as important as kevin? and neil answers "don't trust "neil", trust me."
you don't get it cos this line is one of the most insane in the entire series and no one points it out. because what follows is andrew asking "who are you?" (the layers of that, too) and neil just answers "if you need a name, call me abram."
this is so fascinating because neil literally separates himself from the "neil josten" identity in this scene and says trust me. who he is, in himself, he considers (at least at this point in the story) separate from both nathaniel wesninksi and neil josten. and when asked to put a name to this "true self" he says "abram".
isn't that crazy like y'all be arguing whether neil is truly at heart neil josten or nathaniel wesninski when he said himself, he's neither: the only "true self" he ever gives us is "abram". not even a last name because abram never belonged to nathan wesninski, and neil josten wasn't even a real person until the foxes made him one.
ok technically, i do realise "abram" is nathaniel's (and eventually neil's) middle name and i also find it interesting that even as abram has no last name and is neither wesninski or josten, the name "abram" has belonged to both last names throughout neil's life. so technically i would say abram is neither wesninski or josten but also both wesninski and josten.
that doesn't make sense but hopefully the rest of the essay makes it make sense.
"abram" is the name used by mary when she wanted to shield nathaniel from his father's work, and also the name he'd had when he'd played little league. interesting, too, because while nathaniel mostly belongs to the butcher, and was born and bred by mary, and while neil was a conscious decision, a choice and an amalgamation of his loved ones, abram belongs almost completely to mary and neil. neil also notes his time in little league as the only times he saw his mother smile. this was also before the bloody events of castle evermore, and before the miserable years on the run, so u can bet these were probably the only bright times in neil's entire life until he joins the foxes. nathaniel is deeply entrenched in a dark and bloodied past, a mirror and creation of the butcher, a cold-blooded killer. neil is an identity forged in fire (for lack of a better term) by the reckless choices he made and shaped by hands that loved him and fought for him as fiercely as he fought for them. neither of them can be fully absolved of trauma and bloodshed and anguish.
abram is a different story. abram is rooted in neil's youth, but not the fearful, abusive baltimore house, but the freedom of being on the court. abram was a creation of his mother's love (no matter how heavy-handed it became later on), and is deeply entrenched in probably the only happy childhood memories neil has and definitely the only happy times he ever experienced with his mother (his father basically entirely out of the picture). abram, unlike neil and nathaniel, is entirely untouched by the butcher's cleaver, r*ko's vicious games and mary hatford's closed fist. abram, neil implies, is someone who can be truly trusted. someone who neither has murderous nor runaway tendencies. someone who keeps his promises and doesn't flinch in the face of violence, but keeps his hands and trail clean.
abram, out of all of neil's many identities, is the only one that is both real and clean. real, because when neil was young and played exy and got to feel happy and (sort of) free for the first time, he was always abram, not nathaniel. real, because he considers "abram" to be his true self. when "neil josten" couldn't be trusted and "nathaniel wesninski" was too risky, "abram" was the name he gave to andrew. clean, because mary said "abram" to protect a young nathaniel from his father's dirty work. clean, because "abram" was what mary called him during the only times she ever smiled, before those violent fearful years on the run, before she showed her love through shades of black and blue. clean, because abram remains untouched by the violence of his childhood, because abram was only ever used during those sparse, happy times in his life, and before that it was steely-eyed, auburn-haired nathaniel and after that there was no more "abram" just alex, stefan, chris and twenty-something other names that meant nothing, and then neil josten.
andrew himself reinforces this when he says "truth is irrefutable and untainted by bias. sunrise, abram, death. these are truths." duh, this is saying, abram is a truth. the truth. abram is someone, an identity, a person, a promise that is irrefutable, untainted, unbiased. abram is like the sunrise, like death, certain and sure and undeniable.
obv another notable point is that neil's final, real name by the end of the series is neil abram josten. interesting, because abram isn't really mentioned much at all throughout the series, but is significant enough to literally become part of neil's name. like yes, neil did mention that abram was his middle name, but he also says "i don't want to be nathaniel" and "abram" was a part of nathaniel and his name. that neil thought to transfer and keep "abram" as a part of his final, real name, is significant. abram remains a part of him, even as he lets go of the past and "nathaniel" (i.e. his father, the murder and the blood and the years on the run) but holds onto "abram" (happiness, his mother's love before it became ugly, freedom, exy). it would make sense that he makes abram a part of his true name when he considers abram to be his truest self.
the way i'd yap about this man for days. GOD HE'S SO COMPLEX. anyway go read my nathaniel vs neil essay !!!
#zoe yaps#does this make sense#tell me it makes sense#abram is such an underrated part of aftg and neil's character#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#kevin day#neil abram josten#nathaniel wesninski#nathan wesninski#mary hatford
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