#a tired gothamite

[a-tired-gothamite]

Just watched Robin pay for his food with a Wayne credit card???

@the-better-robin who did you rob?

[xylofondue]

Ninjago Headcanon #6?

Kai's the second-best at chores and cooking among the ninja (Zane being first ofc) because of all the years he spent looking after Nya

[theshiningstaranon]

“How are you doing today my dear Star Anon? I hope you’re doing well.”

@mister-judge-jury-executioner

Not super great honestly, I've had a rough couple of days.

A-anyways, thank you for asking! I hope you're doing okay too...

-⭐

[gotham-its-too-early-for-this]

You know it’s a normal day when Jonna REFUSES TO SLEEP and instead spends the whole night theorizing on what Wayne is dating what Bat, the love square between Bruce Wayne, Batman, Superman, and Clark Kent, or why the Justice League are all secretly Batman from different universes.

-Sofia (please help)

[holyfuckitsgoontime]

I think I may have brainnn damageee

so that's fun

[gothamgothic]

I've been bumped up the list for that apartment complex that I was trying to get into!!!! So excited! Not sure why I have been - but I am not about to look a gift horse in the mouth! I have a tour set up for later today. Fingers crossed! Its in a nicer neighborhood, closer to campus - I won't have to cross rogue territories anymore if I get in. Plus, it allows pets! Finding a decent apartment in Gotham is like looking for a needle in a haystack. If things go well, I should be moving in some time this next week?

Apparently the previous tenant changed schools. Gotham was too much for them.

[gotham-accidental-crimelord]

I want to make every Gotham Rouge and Vigilante wear Heelys. Like just for 1 night, it'll be hilarious. I pretty sure a couple have to have them already.

[thy-valhallen]

do you think, in Gotham, people's excuses for ghosting on dates or not calling someone back are just like, insane? do you think people can call out of work on like, the most batshit excuses in existence?

like, if you want to shut someone down, you just mention "hey, sorry, I got dosed with Joker venom yesterday, i need some me time" to get them off your case?

really don't want to go into work today? hey, the Gazette doesn't keep perfect numbers on how many people were hostage in Riddler's last scheme, just say you were one of the people made into his audience last night and BAM, you're clear. hell, there's probably a WikiHow list of token Rogue excuses for you to choose from

you really like this person and you're flirting with them, but then find out they've got some red flags? "Hey! sorry, i know we were really vibing but uh... I actually had amnesia from one of Scarecrow's weird serums and... well, i actually have a girlfriend already, i'm so sorry to have led you on--"

just. Gothamites being feral on every level

[feelingbat-ty]

So I was just thinking about Gotham and like, ‘what would the general rules of the city be?’ So I stated a list

1) No plants

2) don’t go out at night

It’s a pretty short list cause I got caught on ‘don’t go out at night’ cause like, clubs and bars exist lol

So than I emended it to ‘don’t go out alone’ but I honestly don’t think your chances about scarecrow would be any better 5 (or less! Come on, who actually has 5 friends these days?) to 1.

So than that thought led me down the rabbit hole of hole ‘how many of the hostages that villains take hostage, are intoxicated.

Just imagine the Riddler has say twenty two hostages tied up over a vat of acid (22 cause he grabbed 21 from the club and wanted an even number)

Batman (disappointed): Really Ed?

Robin! Dick: Gee wiz dude?! Why did you swipe these swell people from the club?

Batman: Ed this is the third time this year.

Robin: yeah dude! Common we all know you have to work for your hostages. Leading a group out with glow sticks is cheating!

Riddler: I-

That one women that was randomly grabbed from the street to make an even number: Please! Please let me go! I have a wife and a kid please!!

Riddler (fed up): What! You can’t have a wife! Your a girl!

Drunk sorority girl (who’s so intoxicated fear is an abstract concept) piping in: Dudeeeee gay people exist wtf!

Robin (only wants to cause chaos lol): Yeah Ed wtf! That’s so insensitive!!

*Cue the rest of the drunk college students joining in and bullying Ed - cause who else would be lured out of a club with the promise of free glow sticks?*

I’m gonna speed run the rest of this scenario real quick.

Ed, who subcomes to the woes of being bullied by a group of drunk college students goes “Fucking fine!! I’ll let you go!” And than let’s them go. Well, that one women he kidnapped flees at the first sign of escape (she’s a nurse, she has a brain lmao) while the rest of the group just stays there.

“What. Are. You. Doing. You’re free! Leave! You can go!” The riddler exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

The drunk girl from before pips up, “nah ah,” and says seriously “we got glow sticks, so bats has to solve the riddle.”

Numerous other students nod their heads in agreement and raising their own glow sticks for emphasis.

Another fun tidbit I imagine is that their all wearing those glow stick crowns ya know? So when the kidnapped women from before gets home, her wife is amused like, “what’s this?” She says with a grin, “did you have a work party?”

And than the kidnapped women solemnly shakes her head and with a hollow tone says, “I was kidnapped by the Riddler.”

[gothamitepride]

I am in a lot of pain. My whole family is. We don't know why, but we were just laughing and laughing until we literally passed out. We could barely breathe. Next thing we know, we're in the hospital.

My lungs are still burning. It feels like I drowned and got strangled in the water. I feel like a knife carved my face like a pumpkin. Me and my family are trying to figure out what happened, but it's hard, there's not a lot of us here-- it was just the three of us in that apartment, after all. But at least my sister wasn't here.

I still feel so tired. I'm exhausted. I'm cold and my bones feel sore and having my eyes closed and in the dark feels so much better than the alternative. This sucks. All I wanted to do was just have an evening with my uncle and mother. Was that too much to ask? I can feel my own blood. I'm so angry. I'm so upset. I want to cry and scream and curl up into a little ball.

I'm sorry if I'm appearing to be childish, I'm just very shaken. I hope we get answers. I'm petrified. I just want to go back to bed. I'll update if we figure out what's happening.

[a-tired-gothamite]

OOC:

Pro-tip: Do not binge read the entirety of @/ask-spiderpool's blog because you stumbled across it while scrolling through Tumblr and got a flash back to when you first read a screenshot of it on Pintrest 5 years ago.

-Fon

[darth-nikeon]

Harvey: OK, so what did you do?

Jim: Alright, but you can't get mad at me.

Harvey: What did you do?!

Jim: OK, so I was minding my own business when -

Harvey: *Slams hands on the table* BULLSHIT!

Jim: I WAS!

[starlooove]

Ok but Lex Luther is 1000% a black capitalist who will conveniently ignore that he’s black until it’s time for him to try and cater to the community for something (“as always…Wakanda forever! Signed presidential candidate Lex Luthor”) and I genuinely think that he would not have made Kon privy to the fact that HE’S also black so just

Core four hanging at Wayne manor one day and Duke happens to walk in and he’s not rude or anything ok? Hell, he decided on a fade so he technically had no real room to talk! It’s just…why did Kon relax his hair just to curl it again?? And badly too? Shit looks fried and he just wants to see if he can help so he kinda pulls him over and is like “what’s ur routine bro?”

And Kon has no idea what’s going on?? What is a “doo rag?” What the hell does Duke want him to “pick?” And Duke is finally upfront about it and is like “Conner…do you know that you’re black?” And Kon short circuits.

[beechaotic]

Idk if this was a MISTAKE, per say, but it did kind of…make my situation worse.

So, remember how I was telling you all that Stabby Robin was following me and trying to find more dirt on me? Well, I decided to give him some “dirt”.

He was following me (again) while I was walking through Crime Alley, thinking I didn’t notice him. I did, in fact, notice him. So, I enacted my plan.

I “glanced around”, like I was looking to see if anyone was there. I determined that I was “alone”, and just…Jumped between universes really fast. It’s something I’ve been working on lately, and it USUALLY works. It did this time, too. I managed to get to the warehouse me and my friends live in, and I thought everything was over.

Well, that was like, two nights ago, and he is STILL FOLLOWING ME. Like, what the fuck?! I gave you what you wanted, leave me the fuck alone! But NOOO, the little shit has now brought SIGNAL with him, for whatever fucking reason. Like, bitch, do you think I need a support group or something? Someone to “train” me? JUST FUCKING COME DOWN HERE AND TALK TO ME.

Oh well, at least it isn’t the Bat?

[jitters-barista]

please, someone else get hired at jitters.

i know we have vigilantes and rogues breaking in every other day but this is gotham thats everywhere.

[holyfuckitsgoontime]

in 3 days i would say i have saved about... 12 people.

so each night i'm saving an average of 4 people, which isn't as much as batman but it's better than the average person

i think i'm getting better at this tho :)