#a serious show with a very serious story that I take very seriously

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How do I write mean insults that's in character for a character to say? I'm personally poor at coming up with insults that don't sound generic or would actually cut deep, being mean in general. I want to write a snarky character with a dry sense of humour when it calls for it but don't know how to go about it.

He's also recovering from a superiority and inferiority complex.

As the writer, you know your character best, and what insults would make sense for them to say (also considering the bigger context of the scene). So, I'll just provide you with a compilation of prompts and notes from different sources, and you can choose which ones are most appropriate to incorporate in your story.

Writing Notes: Insults & Dry Humor

A List of "Sophisticated" Insults

Craven - having or showing a complete lack of courage; very cowardly

Fatuous - silly or stupid; complacently or inanely foolish. From Latin infatuate, which once meant "to make foolish," but which now usually means "to inspire with foolish love or admiration."

Insipid - not interesting or exciting; dull or boring

Obstreperous - difficult to control and often noisy

Obtuse - stupid or unintelligent; not able to think clearly or to understand what is obvious or simple

Pusillanimous - weak and afraid of danger. It's been used by such notables as Ralph Waldo Emerson ("It is a pusillanimous desertion of our work to gaze after our neighbours"), and the disgraced Vice-President Spiro Agnew, who called journalists "pusillanimous pussyfooters."

Sanctimonious - pretending to be morally better than other people. It once meant "possessing sanctity; holy, sacred." The genuinely holy aspect faded, and William Shakespeare is credited with first using sanctimonious to mean "hypocritically pious or devout."

Twee - sweet or cute in a way that is silly or sentimental. Just as buddy is believed to be a baby talk alteration of "brother", twee is a baby talk alteration of "sweet". Although twee is still considered a chiefly British term, it's increasingly popular in American English.

Unctuous - revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, and false earnestness or spirituality. Unction can mean "anointment" or it can name something used to anoint, such as a soothing or lubricating oil. That idea of oiliness led to unctuous, which can describe the slickness of false sincerity.

Vacuous - having or showing a lack of intelligence or serious thought; lacking meaning, importance, or substance

The insult would also depend on which other character it is directed at. Here is a list of "funny" insults for adults from Reader's Digest:

My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.

You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.

If you were a spice, you’d be flour.

You may have a sparsely attended funeral.

I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?

You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.

Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”

Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.

...and for your character's significant other:

I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.

You continue to meet my expectations.

I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.

If genius skips a generation, our kids will be brilliant.

We were happily married for a month. Too bad it’s our 10-year anniversary.

I admire the way you try so hard.

You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.

Have you tried doing it the way I told you to the first time?

The best part of watching a show with you is when you fall asleep because then I can watch my show.

Don’t call me crazy—you’re the one who married me!

You can always alter these to better suit your character. You can read the full list here, which also includes some insults for kids, best friends, and family.

Tips for Better Humor Writing

Humor writing isn’t all about landing a good joke (except for when it is). In creative writing, the effect is usually a bit more nuanced. Here’s a few writing techniques to get you started:

Subvert expectations. Try to undermine the audience’s expectations or reform them with structural elements.

Save the best for last. Humor is often a release of tension, so the sentence builds that tension, and the pay-off—the punchline—happens most naturally at the end. This is also sometimes referred to as the “rule of three,” where two thoughts act as a build-up to the final humorous closer.

Use contrast. Are your characters in a terrifying situation? Add something light, like a man obsessing about his briefcase instead of the T-Rex looming behind him.

Use good wordplay. Sometimes words themselves are funny, and just as often, their placement in a sentence can make a difference. Some words are just funnier than others, so make a list of those that amuse you the most.

Take advantage of cliché. While clichés are something most writers try to avoid, it’s important to recognize them,so you can use them to your advantage. Humor relies in part on twisting a cliché—transforming or undermining it. You do this by setting up an expectation based on the cliché and then providing a surprise outcome. In humor writing, this process is called reforming.

Use humor as a counterbalance. If you just pile on one terrible thing after another, it starts to become ridiculous, and people won’t buy it. Using humor is a great way to achieve the proper balance between fantasy and real life. Remember, if a roller coaster only did twists and turns the whole time, it wouldn’t be as fun to ride.

Level of Intensity

There are people who shrug off an insult (“That’s just the way she is”) and people who commit murder over an insult (“I’m avenging my honor!”). Plus, of course, everything in between. Which is your character?

To be believable, consider the following:

Personality. How hard does your character take events in general? Does s/he get really excited over good fortune and really depressed over setbacks? Then we’ll find it believable that s/he gets really angry and reacts accordingly.

The second cause of an intense reaction is the nature of the specific fight that you’re creating on the page. Lily Owens lets most of her father’s insults go by (“the art of survival”). But when he starts in about her mother, the topic is too important to Lily to gloss over. Lily’s reaction is intense. She runs away. Another type of character might merely have seethed silently. Still another might have fought T. Ray more intensively, setting fire to the house with him inside.

Finally, the strength of fights is culturally determined. Where public or even private scenes are disapproved of (upper-class London, old-money Boston, “well-behaved” families), arguments may be muted, even when the subject matters a great deal. In other cultures, volatility is not frowned on, and people may feel free to scream at each other in public. In extreme cases, murder may even be considered a duty, as in avenging a sister’s sexual assault.

Where is your story taking place? Are your arguers in tune with local or family culture? Maybe not. You can create interesting effects by portraying the rebels against the local mores: the meek child born into a battling family, the furious feminist in polite 19th-century English society.

On Dry Humor

Dry humor - is all about the subtle irony of the facts being stated plainly; it is the contrast between sentiment and reality that makes the situation funny.

The technique is known for its simple, often matter-of-fact declarations that will make the audience laugh or be perplexed (humor is subjective, after all).

With dry humor, delivery and intention create a sort of comedic cognitive dissonance or contrast. Sometimes it is as simple as using a bit of sarcasm, but it can also be more than that.

Dry humor lives and dies on the back of doing less.

Less facial expressions, less props, less setup—less is often more when it comes to landing the joke. You aren’t using a big, dramatic setup or a grandiose vocabulary to make your point.

Essentially, these jokes are derived from saying the opposite of what is meant or delivering them in a way that purposefully counteracts the supposed meaning of what is being said.

Dry Humor in Writing

The function of dry humor has often been to highlight the absurd.

It is effectively executed in moments where satirization of the circumstances at play require little more than noting the facts aloud.

When writing this sort of humor, quick, cutting accuracy is key to making the jokes land.

Simplicity is king, and an honest statement of the facts will always lead the way to finding the funny.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Humour ⚜ Laughter & Humour

Hope this helps with your writing!

[karnpuffs]

...how am I supposed to take this show seriously??

[thatscarletflycatcher]

One of the biggest problems of writing that Frasier post is that the logic of 90s comedies is not real life logic. It's not just that you can just pick which exaggerated thing to believe more (and sometimes you need to outright pick between two mutually excluding canon facts), but also the degree to which you believe anything. Which is fun for theorizing but also terrible for theorizing because to argue one way or another you need to create the fiction that the coherent narrative you are pointing out has value of truth in a universe where the value of truth is the rule of funny.

[amtrak12]

GREAT NEWS! 🎉 I finally figured out why my opinions on Lucifer veer so wildly from the rest of the fandom's!

It's because I don't take this show seriously at all.

[mariesoliver]

Jail time for all y'all that hyped up fourth wing like it was a gift from heaven

[tobiasdrake]

*deep breath* Okay. Here we go.

I don't think the Netflix Avatar show likes women very much. It's a great show for fans of Aang, Sokka, Zuko, and Iroh specifically. All four of those characters get a ton of great material. In fact, it's super great for Sokka stans, because the show takes him ultra-seriously and can't go five minutes without one character or another (usually a woman) praising him.

But the way it handles its female cast is troublesome.

Katara

So, all three of the main trio got some changes made to their stories. They changed Aang's story so that he wasn't running away from his responsibilities; He was just clearing his head and somehow accidentallied himself into a tsunami. Whoopsy-dooodle. Aang did nothing wrong.

They changed Sokka's story so that him being a leader of his people and a great guardian warrior is treated with complete seriousness. Multiple times, characters stop to talk about how brave and noble Sokka is for taking on such an intense responsibility, and tell him to his face what a great warrior and a wonderful leader he is. Also his misogyny is erased.

And they changed Katara's story so that she directly got her mom killed because she sucks at waterbending.

Katara tries to waterbend to attack the Fire Nation soldier but couldn't manage it, provoking the soldier to start actively searching for her and forcing her mom to fake a waterbending attack and draw his fire. They changed Katara's story so that her bad decision making fucking got her mom killed.

This is treated with the same level of severity as "Sokka was bullied by mean kids and also his dad doesn't think he's good enough to be a leader."

"I hoped Sokka would do better but not everyone is meant to have people's lives in their hands," Sokka's dad says of him.

Yeah, you're right, that's totally comparable to watching your mom get barbecued because you tried to waterbend in a situation you shouldn't have and then failed.

In fact, they give Sokka's greatest trauma more weight because it gets examined again with Yue next episode, while Katara actively getting her mom killed isn't brought up again at all. We get traumatized glimpses of it throughout the season leading up to the reveal, but after this scene in episode 5, it never comes up again.

But to be fair, Katara was a child. An event this significant would surely have motivated her, driving her to become the great waterbender she is now, right?

No! Katara sucks at waterbending and needs men who aren't even waterbenders to teach her how to waterbend. She requires instruction from Aang in episode 1 to learn how to waterbend, then from Jet in episode 3 to learn how to waterbend better.

And unlike the show, her relationship with Aang isn't a give-and-take; Katara doesn't teach Aang a single goddamn thing. He never learns to waterbend. She is a strictly a pupil throughout the whole season. Though she at least gets officially labeled a master in episode 8, so there's that.

In any case, the whole traumatic memory thing isn't even the only time she's directly compared with Sokka. Episodes 3 and 4 see Katara and Sokka bicker over whose morally dubious side character is better. Sokka likes the Mechanist and Katara likes Jet.

Ultimately, Katara is forced to eat crow when Jet turns out to be the worst, while Sokka is vindicated when the Mechanist sees the error of his ways and reforms. But not before two separate arguments where Sokka calls Katara childish and accuses her of acting like a little girl.

Arguments ultimately resolved when Katara apologizes to Sokka for not adequately respecting his very serious and ultra important role as village protector and leader. Gives him a whole speech about how great and glorious he is. And Sokka... appreciates Katara learning to respect him properly, I guess, because he never offers any similar sentiments back to her.

The show just... They need you to know how important Sokka is, okay? It's very important that you respect Sokka.

Suki

Suki suffers tremendously from that whole "Sokka's misogyny was removed" thing. Y'know, because they need something else to do with that episode. The show is deeply aware that Suki is Sokka's love interest, so they just do that right off the bat. Suki falls madly in love with him from the moment they meet, and spends the entire episode making goo-goo eyes and trying to get him to Notice Me Senpai.

They still do the "Suki Trains Sokka" stuff. But Sokka is a serious, dignified manly man worthy of the deepest respect now, so of course they don't make him wear the Kyoshi uniform. Instead, the main purpose of his training is to allow them to flirt some more. It's less martial arts training and more an excuse to grope each other and near-kiss.

Suki's just a waifu now. She still fights real good, but all of the stuff that made her relationship with Sokka interesting has been erased.

Yue

Yue, similarly, leaps straight to shipping from the word go. They write out her fiance, Hahn, by having Yue briefly meet Sokka earlier in the season. She spends one minute talking to him in the Spirit World about Spirit World lore; In that time, she falls so desperately, madly, unfathomably in love with him that she breaks off her marriage to Hahn and devotes herself to waiting for him to one day come to her.

"Never have I known such joys as that time you let me explain the spirit bear Hei Bei to you. Truly, we are destined to be together for life."

Like with Suki, they go out of their way to have Yue and Sokka already be a ship from the word 'go' so they don't have to spend time developing any kind of meaningful attraction.

They just. They really want you to know that Sokka is the manliest and most desirable man ever to walk this earth. It is very important that you understand how great he is. Women hurl themselves into his arms with zero effort whatsoever, because he's just so goddamn irresistible.

Fortunately, Hahn is super okay with this turn of events. He's the most chill guy ever, he gets along perfectly well with Sokka, and he completely supports Yue's right to dump him! In the famously misogynistic Northern Water Tribe, no less! What a swell guy. Aren't men swell?

June

June gets hit with that "rewritten as hollow waifu" stick too, but her eyes are set on Iroh. They rewrote June to be super attracted and flirty towards the man who was her unwanted sexual harasser in the source material. So that's fun.

Also, she barely does anything. Zuko hires her to find Aang, she succeeds, and then she fucks right off out of the show - But she manages to find time to express how unbelievably sexy Iroh is twice during that time.

She seriously just dropped into the show to flirt with Iroh and leave. She is unbelievably inconsequential.

Kyoshi

And then there's Kyoshi. They really want you to hate Kyoshi. She's constantly shot from below, as if looking down on Aang and the audience. Her voice takes on a demonic echoing reverb at one point as she's screaming at Aang that "THE AVATAR MUST BE A MERCILESS WARRIOR!!!"

She despises Aang, calling him a coward for running away from his responsibilities - Which, I remind you, is no longer a plot point because they unwrote that flaw from his character. So she's just a complete and utter asshole, shot from the asshole angle, yelling violently at him with asshole sound effects. They want you to despise this woman.

Azula

Awkwardly, they do not seem to want you to despise Azula.

There's a lot to be said for how Ozai treats Azula in the original show. The way the favoritism he shows her is every bit as cruel and manipulative as the unfavoritism that he shows Zuko. Ozai does not love Azula. He loves the reflection of himself he sees in her eyes, and his encouragement urges her to polish herself to ensure his reflection always shines through.

This is not that. The show instead erases the favoritism entirely. Ozai doesn't really care one way or another about either of his kids. He plays them against each other, bragging openly to Azula about how great Zuko is and unpleasably writing Azula off as weak and useless.

They've rewritten the dynamic between abusive father and his two abused kids in order to take Azula's pride away. Reimagining her from a gifted prodigy who excels at imitating the toxic behaviors of a father who doesn't truly care for her, to a put-upon overachiever tearing herself in knots to live up to the standards of her unpleasable father.

This results in a truly wild portrayal of Azula as insecure and jealous of Ozai's seemingly love for Zuko. Here, she is simply a browbeaten child constantly complaining to her friends about how mean her father is and conspiring to get one up over Daddy's Golden Child Zuko.

Which she fails at, because she backs Zhao. Zuko deftly defeats her without even realizing they're in competition.

Conclusion

The season ends well for some of these women. It ends promising that maybe we'll see Katara teaching Aang some day. It ends with Zhao bragging that Ozai just used Zuko to train Azula so maybe we'll see the more confident and misguidedly proud Azula some day. Yue becomes the moon like she's supposed to. June's still out there so maybe she'll get to do something again some day.

Katara gets to fight Pakku and lose, but she looks pretty cool. She gets to fight Zuko and lose, but she looks pretty cool. Azula learns to lightningbend because she's just so mad about Ozai's contempt for her and favoritism for Zuko, which isn't how you lightningbend.

But promises of future content fall flat when the content that exists is so underwhelming. This season made its feelings on these characters pretty evident, and it's unwise to expect better material from creators who've disappointed you with the material they already made.

The women of Netflix Avatar simply do not get to shine, outside of superficial moments like the "Women of Northern Water Tribe demand the right to fight and then fuck off and don't do anything for the entire rest of the episode" bit.

"In the midst of battle, we demand that you stop being sexist and give us permission to fight! This is a way better idea than convincing you to teach us to fight before the battle begins."

The characters of this show feel as if they've been reimagined to glorify the boys at the expense of the girls. The boys are treated with a great amount of care. They're dignified and made important movers of the plot, with their rough edges sanded off. While the girls are molded around them.

[chrzzboo]

okay, hear me out. I've had this idea in my head for so long and have never found anything like it.

Lando Norris falls for a FAN! She lives in England or France or Monaco, they meet somewhere that’s not the racetrack and somehow he falls in love. He knows she’s a fan so it’s hard for him to admit that he fell for her.

Just another fan

Summary: when meeting a fan in an unusual encounter Lando couldn’t help but feel attracted by her presence. The only thing stopping him? Her being his fan.

Note: first of all I couldn’t be more thankful for all the support all of you have showed me on my comeback stories and I’m very grateful for that! Thank you for your request anon, I hope this lives up to your expectations! Have fun reading!

Reader x Lando Norris

Genre: fluff/angst(ish)

I was in a frantic rush. Late for my uni lecture again. The coffee cup trembling in my hand as I weaved my way through the bustling café. Engrossed in my thoughts, I didn’t watch where I was going, and then it happened – the inevitable crash. Coffee splattered everywhere, including all over the stranger in front of me.

I froze in horror, my face turning a deep shade of scarlet. "Oh god, I-I'm so sorry!" I managed to stutter.

Lando reacted with a bewildered expression, looking down at his now-stained shirt before turning back to me.

"It's alright," he said, an amused twinkle in his eye despite his coffee-stained shirt. "Accidents happen."

I fumbled for words, trying to apologize profusely, and yet, I was struck by his casual demeanor. This guy, this person I had just spilled coffee all over, was handling the situation so much better than I was, and it was only then that I glanced at his face. My heart skipped a beat. Lando Norris. I was standing in front of Lando Norris.

Lando chuckled again, the sound rich and warm, as he watched me struggle to compose myself. "You know," he said, the smirk on his face softening to a more genuine smile, "Most people would at least recognize me before pouring coffee all over me."

"I’m… I’m so sorry," I repeated, still struggling to overcome my shock. My brain was still trying to process the fact that I was standing in front of one of my favorite drivers, and I’d just managed to make a complete fool of myself in front of him.

Lando’s smile held a hint of understanding, and he waved off my repeated apologies. "Seriously, it’s fine," he reassured, glancing down at his coffee-stained shirt. "This isn’t the worst thing that’s been spilled on me, trust me."

In spite of the situation, I found myself feeling a little relieved at his casual acceptance. The initial wave of embarrassment was beginning to recede, replaced by a more manageable feeling of awkwardness. "Still, I feel terrible," I said, trying to force a sheepish smile. "Let me at least pay for the dry cleaning, or something…"

Lando shook his head, his expression growing more amused. "Dry cleaning’s not necessary," he replied, waving off my offer. "But considering you just soaked me in coffee, perhaps you can make it up to me?"

My heart skipped a beat at his words, my stomach twisting, already thinking of the worst scenarios.“How?” I asked weakly, trying to keep my composure.

Lando leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking over me for a moment, taking in my flustered state. "Simple really," he said, a hint of a challenge in his voice. "You buy me a new coffee, we’ll sit down, and you can make it up to me by keeping me company."

My breath caught in my throat for a moment, my mind racing. Lando Norris, asking to spend time with me? It was too much to process. But there was no mistaking the gleam of interest in his eyes. He was serious.

"Oh euhm okay," I managed to stammer out, my cheeks flushing under his gaze. "Coffee. I can do that."

Lando’s smile widened, a satisfied expression on his face as he gestured for me to lead the way to the counter. As I turned, heading towards the counter to order the coffee, I could feel his eyes on me, and my heart thumped in my chest.

This was really happening. I was about to buy coffee for Lando Norris. 18-year old me wouldn’t believe this.

As we waited for our coffees, the silence between us was filled with a tension that I couldn’t quite describe. Lando seemed relaxed, but I could almost feel the energy radiating from him. I couldn’t help repeatedly glancing at him, marveling at how someone could look so good, even after having coffee spilled on them.

After getting the order, Lando led the way to a small, secluded table in the corner of the cafe. I followed, trying to hide the fact that I was a bundle of nerves. Sitting down across from each other, I clutched my coffee cup like a lifeline. The silence was tangible, broken only by the soft hum of other patrons in the cafe.

Lando took a sip of his coffee, his gaze never leaving me. After a moment, he leaned back, a hint of a smile on his lips. "So," he began, his voice soft but clear, "You’re a fan, aren’t you?"

My eyes widened at his question, and a wave of unexpected shock washed over me. I hadn’t expected him to pick up on my fan girl status so quickly. It was obvious, I guess, but I also didn’t want to invade his privacy.

"I… uh… well," I fumbled for words, my face heating up. "I am a fan, yes."

Lando chuckled, his eyes never leaving mine. "It’s okay, you don’t have to deny it." He took another sip of coffee. “I could tell the moment you realized who I was."

I fidgeted in my seat, feeling exposed under his gaze. "Was I that obvious?" I muttered, cursing myself for my lack of subtlety.

Lando leaned back in his chair, that amused smile still on his face. "Let’s just say you weren’t very discreet. Your face lit up like a Christmas tree when you realized who you were dealing with."

I couldn’t help the embarrassed laugh that escaped me. "I guess I’m not very good at hiding things, also I didn't know you would be in England this week." I admitted, trying to play it down with humor.

"No not at all.” He laughs at my comment. “And yeah I came down to visit my family for a bit." Lando added, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "And don't worry about it, it’s refreshing, actually. Most people either don’t recognize me or try to play it cool when they do. You were like a deer caught in headlights."

I let out a soft groan, burying my face in my hands. "I must have looked so ridiculous," I mumbled, my words muffled by my palms.

Lando reached out, gently pulling my hands away from my face. His touch sent a shiver down my spine. "No, it was adorable," he corrected, his voice holding a hint of sincerity beneath the humor.

I looked up at him, my face probably aflame. Was he seriously calling me adorable? "You’re just saying that," I muttered, taking a gulp of my coffee to distract myself.

Lando laughed, a sound that sent a wave of butterflies flying through my stomach. "No, I mean it," he insisted. "You didn’t try to act all cool and casual around me. You just… reacted. It was honest, and it was cute."

And soon the conversation between us started flowing.

After some time, I glanced at my watch, my eyes widening at the time. “Damn, my lectures…” I muttered, realizing I’d missed my class.

Lando, who seemed oblivious to the time as well, shot a look at my watch. “Oh, right,” he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Guess we got carried away.”

I was gathering my bag and taking one last sip of coffee, my mind still swirling with questions when Lando spoke up.

"Before you leave," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I was wondering if I could get your number."

The casual request caught me off guard, but I quickly recovered. "My… my number?" I repeated, already pulling my own phone out of my bag.

Lando chuckled at my surprised expression. "Yeah, your number. You know, so we can stay in touch."

I fumbled with my phone for a moment, unlocking it and pulling up the new contact option. "Of course," I said, my mind racing. This was really happening. Lando Norris was asking for my number.

I slowly handed him my phone, watching as he tapped in his number. He handed it back to me, our fingers brushing together in a brief, electric moment.

"There," he said, a sly smile on his lips. "Now you’ve got my number, and I’ve got yours."

I looked down at my phone, seeing his contact information displayed. I couldn’t believe it. "Thanks," I said, the word feeling incredibly inadequate considering the whirlwind of emotions racing through me.

Lando pocketed his phone, his gaze never leaving me. "Don't mention it," he said, a genuine smile on his face. "It was… good talking to you. You know, despite the coffee incident."

I laughed, the nervous energy of earlier shifting into a more comfortable banter. "Yeah, sorry about that. I promise not to spill anything on you next time we meet."

Lando chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "I’ll keep that in mind. Wouldn’t want to have to start a coffee-stained shirt collection because of you."

The image of Lando with a closet full of coffee-stained shirts flashed through my mind, making me laugh again. "Trust me, that’s the last thing I want," I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

There was a beat of silence, both of us seeming reluctant to end the conversation. Finally, Lando spoke up. “Well, I should let you get going,” he said, his tone carrying a hint of regret. “Can’t cause you to miss another uni lecture, can I?”

I nodded, although a part of me didn’t want the conversation to end. "Yeah, you’re right," I replied, a small sigh escaping me. “I had a really nice time talking to you.”

Lando’s smile widened, a hint of satisfaction in his eyes. “I enjoyed talking to you too,” he said, a sincerity in his tone.

After bidding goodbye to each other, I pushed through the door, the cool air of the city hitting me, but I barely registered it. My mind was still reeling, replaying every moment of our conversation on a loop. As I walked away from the café, I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot.

As I walked, thinking about earlier events, my phone buzzed in my hand. I looked down to see a text message popping up on the screen. It was from Lando.

I smiled at my phone, still not believing that I met the Lando Norris who’s weirdly enough interested in me.

yourusername posted on Instagram!

Liked by bffuser, frienduser1 and others

yourusername Didn't skip class for a cute guy or anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

View all comments

bffuser: Girl u was literally fangirling

yourusername: Oh shut up you would act the same

frienduser3: Fangirling? Did we miss something?

yourusername: No no don't worry nothing special

frienduser3: 🤓

frienduser1: Why you always spilling coffee on people 🤣

yourusername: Don't expose me now, I told you this information in pure trust 🥲

frienduser2: Y/N it literally happened a week ago as well

yourusername: I don't like any of you 😒

Weeks flew by in a blur of texts, calls, and busy schedules. Work and uni left little room for much else. But despite the distance, Lando and I kept in touch daily.

One day, as I was buried under a mountain of notes and textbooks, my phone buzzed with a new message. Expecting another funny meme from Lando, I was surprised to see a different message.

With that decision made, the conversation shifted to practicalities. We discussed the details of my arrival, where I’d be staying, and what to expect during the race weekend. By the end of the conversation, the excitement had far outweighed any lingering doubts. The countdown to Silverstone began.

Meanwhile, Lando was caught off guard when his best friend, Max Fewtrell, came up from behind him and slapped him on the shoulder. “Oi, what’s got you grinning like that?” Max asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lando quickly composed himself, putting his phone away. “Nothing,” he said, attempting to play it cool. “Just talking to someone, that’s all.”

Max wasn’t convinced. “Is it a girl?” he pressed, a smirk on his face.

Lando cursed inwardly. Max had a knack for sniffing out stuff like this.

“Maybe,” he admitted, his voice betraying a bit of reluctance. “But it’s nothing serious.”

Max’s eyebrow shot up again. “Not serious? Then why are you smiling like a fool over some texts?”

Lando huffed, running a hand through his hair. He knew he wasn’t fooling Max with this act of aloofness.

“Fine. There is a girl. But it’s complicated.”

Max’s smirk widened. “Complicated? That’s an interesting way to put it. Why is it complicated?” he asked, leaning against the wall, obviously enjoying Lando’s discomfort.

Lando hesitated for a moment, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Because… well… she’s a fan.”

Max’s expression turned a bit incredulous. “A fan? As in, a fan of yours?”

Lando nodded, a mixture of defensiveness and uncertainty in his eyes. “Yes. A fan. She was at a café where I was hanging out, and we just started talking. And now we talk all the time… but she’s a fan, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to get involved with someone who already has an idea about who I am.”

Max’s smirk softened slightly into a thoughtful expression. “I get where you’re coming from. But just because she’s a fan doesn’t mean she likes you for the wrong reasons,” he said, a hint of reason in his tone. “And people change their perceptions. What if she gets to know the real you and falls even harder?”

Lando considered Max’s words, knowing he had a point. “I know… but what if she’s more interested in the idea of me, the driver, than who I really am?” he voiced his biggest fear.

Max shrugged, a knowing look in his eyes. “Then you’ll figure that out when you see her. If she’s serious about you, she’ll look past the whole ‘F1 driver’ thing. But if you keep worrying about what could go wrong, you’ll never find out what could go right.”

Lando sighed, torn between the possibilities and the risks. “You’re probably right,” he admitted, a hint of resignation in his voice. “Maybe I’m just overthinking it. I don’t know if I’m ready to take that gamble though.”

Max gave Lando a knowing look. “You’re already knee-deep in this mess, mate. You’ve been talking to her for weeks now, clearly you’re invested. If you wanted out, you’d have stopped talking to her ages ago.”

Lando sighed again, realizing the truth in Max’s words. He hadn’t even thought about ending things with her. “Damn it, I guess you’re right,” he conceded, frustration in his tone. “I’m already in too deep, aren’t I?”

Max chuckled, patting Lando on the back. "That’s right, mate. You’re in 'too deep' alright. You've been acting like a lovesick puppy every time you message her. It's pathetic, but also sickening cute.”

Max smirked, amused at his friend’s predicament. “Well, you’ve got your Silverstone race next week. Maybe that’s a chance for you to see how things really are when you actually meet in person. Then you’ll know if this is worth pursuing or not.”

Lando nodded, his face set in a contemplative expression. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll see how it goes when she comes to the race. If it feels off, I’ll end it. But I'm afraid it might be too late for that, I already fell for her I'm afraid.”

The day of the Silverstone Grand Prix finally arrived. I’d spent the morning getting ready, excitement and nerves bubbling up inside me. I checked my reflection one last time before grabbing my bag and heading out the door.

yourusername posted on Instagram!

Liked by landonorris and others

yourusername An actual dream coming true 🏎️

View all comments

frienduser1: Girl is this why you weren't present in class today?

yourusername: Maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️

frienduser2: Now how did you do that then

frienduser3: You could've atleast asked me to come with you 🤔

yoursername: Sorry girl was a last minute typa thing 😬

bffuser: Slay girl get that man

yourusername: 🤫

frienduser2: @bffuser what are you hiding?

frienduser3: Yeah I would love to know that too 🤨

bffuser: 🤐

With the sun high in the sky and the sounds of the race already starting to fill the air, I made my way to the circuit, following the signs and directions to the specific spot Lando had told me to meet him.

As I walked through the gates of the Silverstone Circuit, a sense of awe washed over me. The sights, sounds, and smells of a Grand Prix weekend surrounded me, and it was all so surreal. I had watched races on TV countless times before, but being there in person was a whole different experience.

The enormity of it all sunk in, making me feel both excited and slightly overwhelmed. It was one thing to see the action on a screen, but here I was, standing in the pit lane, surrounded by teams, cars, and the buzz of the event actually happening in front of me.

I continued to wander around, taking in everything. The mechanics working on the cars, the engineers huddled around strategy screens, and the drivers walking around with their confident strides – it was all so different from my usual life.

But what intrigued me most was the thought of seeing Lando in this environment, the stark contrast between the relaxed person I'd talked to countless times and the focused, professional driver he would become once he stepped into his car for the race.

I kept checking my phone, waiting for further instructions from Lando. He'd told me which area to meet him at, but I hadn't gotten any more specific details yet. I tried to distract myself by watching the practice sessions, but my mind kept wandering back to the thought of finally seeing Lando after weeks of just talking through a screen.

The practice sessions ended, and I still hadn't received any other instructions from Lando. I started to get a bit nervous, wondering if I was in the right spot or if something had come up with him. Just when I was about to reach for my phone again, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Hey, you looking for me?" Lando asked, his usual carefree grin on his face, looking slightly sweaty from the heat and the practice session.

I turned around, my heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. He looked every bit the professional racer standing there in his McLaren gear, but his familiar smile instantly made me feel more at ease.

"Lando! I was starting to wonder where you were," I replied, a mix of relief and excitement in my voice.

I was momentarily caught off guard when Lando suddenly opened his arms for a hug. But I quickly recovered, returning the gesture. His embrace was warm and firm, grounding me in the moment. We stepped back after a few seconds, both of us wearing grins.

"It's good to finally see you in person again," Lando said, his eyes crinkled with genuine happiness. "I can't believe you're actually here, at the race."

I chuckled, feeling a sense of disbelief myself. "Believe me, I can't believe it either. It feels surreal, being here in Silverstone, watching the race this close. And to think, I'm here because of you," I added, a hint of teasing in my tone.

Lando chuckled at that, seemingly enjoying the banter. "Well, what can I say? I have that effect on people." His playful confidence was undeniable.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes in mock annoyance. "Oh, don't get too big for your boots, Norris. I didn't come all this way just to inflate your ego."

He feigned shock at my words, a hand going to his chest dramatically. "How dare you! Are you saying my ego isn't already inflated enough?" Lando joked, his eyes sparkling with humor.

I let out a laugh. "Oh, it's plenty inflated, trust me. But seeing you in your element does inflate it just a bit more, doesn't it?" I teased back, enjoying the easy banter between us.

After some more light-hearted banter, the moment came when Lando was called back to his team for the pre-race preparations. He looked a bit reluctant to leave our conversation, but the responsibilities of being a racer were clear.

"I have to go," he said reluctantly, the shift in his demeanor noticeable. "They need me for the pre-race stuff. I'll be back after the race though, yeah?"

I nodded, understanding the necessity of his duties. "Go on, go do your thing. I'll be here, watching the race and cheering you on." I offered him an encouraging smile.

Lando returned the smile, a flicker of gratitude and something else in his eyes. "Thanks. And remember, if I win, you owe me an extra long chat tonight. Deal?"

I laughed, shaking my head at his request. "If you win, you get an extra long chat huh? But how about this? If you win, dinner will be on me."

Lando's eyebrows raised, intrigued by my counteroffer. "Dinner, huh? You know how to motivate a guy to drive faster, don't you?"

I shrugged, my tone light and playful. "Consider it incentive to win. Loser pays for the winner's meal, deal?" I held out my hand, waiting for his response.

Lando's eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and challenge. He took my hand, shaking it firmly. "Deal. Loser pays for dinner after the race. I better win then."

I winked, a confident smile on my face. "Just don't get too cocky now. I might surprise you, and you'll owe me a nice dinner."

Lando chuckled, clearly enjoying the banter and the friendly competition. "Just you wait and see."

The race was a whirlwind of tension and excitement, with each lap filled with nail-biting moments and heart-stopping turns. But finally, the race ended, and Lando emerged victorious.

I watched as he crossed the finish line, his car pulling into the pit, the radio buzzing with congratulations from his team. He made his way out of the car, helmet off, a satisfied but tired expression on his face as he spotted me waiting.

He jogged over to where I was standing, the adrenaline of his win still very clearly in his eyes. "Well, look who it is," Lando said, his tone filled with satisfaction and a hint of exhaustion. "Looks like I won. That means you owe me dinner, doesn't it?"

I put on a mockingly dramatic pout, playing along. "Oh, how will I ever recover from the shame of having to pay for a rich racing driver's meal?" I dramatically clutched my chest, feigning distress.

Lando laughed, the sound rich and carefree. "Come on, don't be a sore loser. You made the bet."

I sighed, pretending to give in. "Fine, fine. Loser pays. You drove a good race, I'll give you that. But don't get used to me paying for your food."

Lando's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Oh, I won't. But I'll definitely enjoy tonight's dinner, on your dime."

As we talked, the high of his victory was still palpable, but reality set in quickly. Lando was being called to attend his media duties, giving interviews and press conferences.

"I've got to go do all the media stuff, but wait for me in my room, alright? I won't take too long," Lando said, his expression still excited but a little distracted already.

I nodded, understanding that his responsibilities as a racer came first. "No worries, I'll wait in your room. Take your time with the interviews and stuff. I'll see you later."

Lando gave me a brief smile, a mix of gratitude and impatience. "I'll be there as soon as I can. See you later."

He quickly kissed me on the cheek before being whisked away by a member of his team, leaving me behind shocked after his little action but I quickly composed myself knowing I'm in public. I started walking to find my way to his room to wait.

As I was waiting in Lando's room, I heard a knock on the door. Expecting Lando, I called out, "Come in!"

But it wasn't Lando who entered, it was his best friend Max Fewtrell. I knew Max from the times Lando had talked about him, and I was surprised to see him. He too seemed to recognize me.

Max walked in, shutting the door behind him. He gave me a friendly smile. "You must be the girl Lando's been talking about," he said, his voice warm and amiable.

I smiled back, a bit embarrassed at the fact that Lando had been talking about me to his friends. "Yeah, that's me," I replied, feeling a bit nervous in the presence of Lando's best friend.

After Max and I started talking, he casually mentioned how Lando and I had gotten quite close lately. He then added, "Funny, I never expected Lando to go for a fan like this. He was a bit hesitant at first, worried you were going to take advantage of him or something."

His words shocked me. "Wait, what do you mean? He was concerned about me being a fan?" I asked, feeling a pang of hurt and confusion.

Max nodded, the honesty in his eyes clear. "Yeah, he was. Lando didn't want to admit it, but he was scared that you were just interested in him because he's a driver, that you weren't really into him for who he truly is."

I was taken aback, feeling the sting of doubt and hurt. "I can't believe he thought that," I managed to say, my voice soft. "I've been talking to him because I genuinely like him, not because he's a racing driver."

Max sighed, his voice softening. "I think he was just cautious, you know? He gets a lot of attention from fans, and he's had some bad experiences with people pretending to be something they're not. He didn't want that with you."

I was quiet for a moment, mulling over Max's words. A part of me understood Lando's worry – I could imagine the sorts of people he'd encountered – but it still hurt to know he had doubted my intentions all this time.

Max could see the mix of emotions on my face. "Look, Lando really likes you. He does. But he was just scared, that's all. He's been burned before, and he didn't want that to happen again. He didn't want to fall for someone who was only interested in his fame, and not in him as a person."

Max's phone rang suddenly, breaking our conversation. He checked the screen. "Ah, sorry, I gotta take this," he said apologetically. "Lando should be back soon, though. Just talk to him, alright?"

I nodded, managing a small smile. "Yeah, I will. Thanks, Max."

He gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Good luck," he said before exiting the room to take his call.

Now left alone again, I was left with all the thoughts and feelings stirred up by my conversation with Max. Lando was on his way back, which only added to the whirlwind of emotions I was trying to sort through.

I leaned back against the wall, my thoughts chaotic. How could Lando have doubted me? Our connection felt genuine, didn't it? Was all of it just an illusion? Did he see me like just another fan of his? The idea filled me with confusion and hurt.

The sound of the door opening caught my attention, and Lando walked in, a smile still lingering on his face, his adrenaline from winning the race still evident. But as soon as he saw me, his expression faltered, replaced by a look of concern.

"Hey," Lando said, closing the door behind him. "Is everything okay? I just ran into Max, and he said that he talked to you before I got back. You seem upset."

I looked at him, the weight of my emotions clear on my face. "Yeah, Max spoke to me before he left. He told me a few things, about you being hesitant about us because I'm a fan, about you being worried I'm not interested in you but just in your career..."

Lando's expression changed from concern to a mixture of guilt and defensiveness. "That idiot," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I can explain..."

I crossed my arms, waiting for him to continue. "Explain, then. Was Max right? Were you really worried about me being just another fan interested in your fame and not in you?"

Lando let out a heavy sigh, sitting down on the edge of the couch. "It's not that simple," he began, his voice unusually serious. "I've had my fair share of people using me for my career. You have no idea the number of people who pretend to care just because being with a driver comes with perks. It makes you wary, okay?"

I tried to understand his point of view, but it still hurt. "I understand that you've been through stuff with others, but you know I'm not like that. I've been nothing but honest and genuine with you. How could you doubt my intentions, especially after all we've discussed and shared?"

Lando looked at me, his eyes earnest. "I know, I know that now. I was just scared, alright? I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you were like the rest. It was stupid, I know, but I couldn't help how I felt."

I pursed my lips, my hurt feelings still not fully soothed. "It's not just stupid, it's hurtful. It makes me feel like you didn't trust me this whole time, like all the things we've shared and the connection we've made didn't matter."

Lando groaned, his face a picture of guilt and regret. "You're right, okay? I was an idiot. I should've trusted you from the start. I shouldn't have let my past experiences color my interactions with you. I'm sorry, really."

I sighed, his words offering some relief but not erasing all the hurt. "I want to believe you, Lando. But words are just words. How do I know you won't keep doubting me in the future? How can I trust that you truly believe I'm here for you, not your fame?"

Lando stood up, moving closer to me until he was standing right in front of me. He looked me straight in the eyes, his voice soft but firm. "I promise you, I won't doubt you again. I see now how wrong I was to question your intentions. And I realize that you are not just any fan. You're special, to me. I never should have let my own fears and insecurities cloud that."

His words were sincere, the remorse and regret clear in his eyes. But a part of me still felt hesitant. "How can I be sure, Lando? How do I know this won't happen again, that you won't second-guess me every time we have a disagreement or a bad day?"

Lando took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "Because, the truth is, I... I have feelings for you. Real feelings. Feelings I can't ignore or deny anymore. And the thought of losing you because I was too scared to trust is... terrifying. And I may always joke around and not take things serious but the feelings I have for you are real how cringy it may sound."

My heart skipped a beat at his words, my eyes widening in surprise. I had suspected he felt something for me, but hearing him confirm it so openly caught me off guard.

"You... you have feelings for me? Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly, not quite believing what I was hearing.

Lando nodded, his gaze unwavering. "I've never been more sure of anything. I tried to fight it, to ignore it, but I can't. I've feelings for you, and they're stronger than my own insecurities and fears. I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it, and I'm sorry for doubting you. But please, believe me. This is real for me. You're real for me."

I looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of dishonesty. But all I saw was vulnerability, sincerity, and a deep, genuine affection. "I... I don't know what to say," I stuttered, still processing his confession.

Lando stepped closer, his hands gently resting on my arms, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. "You don't have to say anything right now," he said quietly. "Just... don't give up on me yet, okay? Let me show you that I mean what I say. Let me prove to you that I do trust you and that my feelings for you are real."

Without any more hesitation, I looked into Lando's eyes and let the truth spill out. "I have feelings for you too, Lando. I have for a while now. I never thought you'd feel the same way, so I tried to downplay my feelings, to make them seem less real than they were."

Lando's eyes widened at my confession, a mixture of surprise and relief on his face. "You do? You really do?" he asked, as if he needed to hear it more than once to believe it.

I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest. "Yes, I do," I confirmed, my voice filled with conviction. "And it makes what happened even more painful, knowing that you didn't trust me, that you thought I was just another fangirl."

Lando winced, the truth hitting him hard. "I was an idiot, I know. I should've just been honest from the start. I should've trusted my heart instead of letting my fears take over."

Lando looked at me, the guilt still evident in his eyes but mixed with hope now. "So... you forgive me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I took a moment to consider, thinking it over. "I do," I said finally. "I understand why you acted the way you did, even if it hurt. You've been hurt before, and it's hard to trust again after that."

The tension in the room lessened, and Lando let out a sigh of relief. Then he stepped closer, his hand gently lifting my chin. "Thank you," he murmured.

I could feel my heart rate increasing as his face moved closer to mine. His gaze was intense, filled with a mix of love and relief. Finally, he broke the remaining distance between us, his lips gently touching mine in a soft, lingering kiss.

The moment our lips met, it was like a spark ignited inside me. I felt a rush of emotions, a mix of relief, joy, and a deep affection for the man in front of me. I kissed him back, pouring all of my feelings into it, wanting him to truly understand how much I cared for him.

The kiss lasted for what felt like a sweet eternity, our lips moving against each other in a tender dance that expressed all the sentiments we both felt. When we finally pulled back, we were both breathless, our foreheads touching as we shared a look that was filled with newfound understanding and love.

After our heartfelt confession and that beautiful kiss, Lando looked at me, a small smirk on his face. "You know, we make quite a pair," he joked, his thumb brushing against my cheek. "A fan and a driver... pretty unconventional, huh?"

I laughed, swatting his hand away gently. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Just wait until the news gets out. The tabloids will have a field day."

Lando chuckled, pulling me closer to his side. "Let them talk. As long as we're happy, does it really matter what they think?"

I smiled, leaning against him, feeling the warm, solid presence of his body next to mine. "Maybe you're right," I conceded, resting my head on his shoulder. "Besides, I think I kind of like being unconventional."

Lando wrapped his arm around my waist, his chin resting on top of my head. "Good, because I'm not sure traditional would suit us anyway," he teased, nuzzling my hair affectionately.

We stood there for a moment, enjoying each other's embrace, the world outside the room seeming a little less important in this small, private moment of ours.

Just as we were basking in our shared happiness, the door suddenly burst open, startling us both. Max stood in the doorway, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Well, well, well, look who finally figured things out," he teased, his tone light and playful.

Lando groaned, rolling his eyes before grabbing one of the pillows on the couch and throwing it at Max. "You couldn't knock, could you?"

Max dodged the pillow with a laugh, holding his hands up in surrender as he backed out of the room. "Okay, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," he said, his voice filled with amusement.

Lando and I exchanged a look, both of us shaking our heads at Max's antics. We had a feeling he would be teasing us about this for a while.

After Max exited, closing the door behind him, Lando and I were left alone once more. We both started laughing at the absurdity of the situation, shaking our heads at the antics of Max.

As our laughter subsided, Lando looked at me, his expression soft and affectionate. "I'm still glad he walked in and forced us both to admit our feelings tho," he said, pulling me closer.

I nodded, a smile playing on my lips. "Me too. Max has always been a bit of a nudge, but he means well."

Lando wrapped his arms tighter around me, his chin resting on top of my head. "He's also going to be a huge pain in our asses, you know that, right?" he said, his voice amused.

I chuckled, leaning back into his embrace. "Oh, I'm fully aware," I agreed, a hint of resignation mixed with amusement in my tone. "We'll never hear the end of it from him."

Despite the inevitable banter we'd be subjected to in the coming days from Max and undoubtedly others, we both knew that it was worth it. Being able to hold each other like this, the weight of unspoken feelings lifted, made everything else seem secondary.

We stayed there, enjoying the quiet comfort of each other's company, both knowing that our unconventional love story was just beginning.

yourusername posted on Instagram!

Liked by landonorris and others

yourusername Crazy to think that it all started because of my clumsy self ☕️

View all comments

landonorris: Never been happier with someone spilling coffee on my shirt! Love you gorgeous ❤️ by author

yourfrienduser: So this is what you've been up to huh 🤔

bffuser: Slay girl my bestie is a wag y'all

yourusername: girl chill 🤣

yourfrienduser2: Alright girlie I see you, I would ditch uni for that reason too 🫡

ln4youlover: Is this the girl he was seen with last time?

carlando554x4ever: Yeah that's her it was confirmed by Lando on his insta

formulaonemaniac4: They're so cute together!

lalalando4youx: She was his fan first y'all, do you know what that means?

landosbrokennose4: It means I have a chance with Lewis Hamilton

forformula81: Yeah no chill all of you 😳

landonorris posted on Instagram!

Liked by yourusername, maxfewtrell, carlossainz55 and others

landonorris There's nothing better then geting P1 in my home race, with the best support I could ask for!

View all comments

yourusername: So so so proud of you Lan ❤️ by author

maxfewtrell: Still haven't got my credit for helping

landonorris: oh shush mate 🙄

calossainz55: Well done cabrón!

landonorris: Thanks mate!

danielricciardo: Yeah we have much to talk about mate

landonorris: 👀

81osclvr: Brb going to sleep on the highway today 🙃

lnqdformulaone: They're honestly the cutest thing ever

love4ln4shoes: The fact that she was his fan made me more delulu 🤭

forwarverstappen1: This isn't some kind of fanfiction girl 💀

love4ln4shoes: Let a girl dream damn 🫤

The end

[brionysea]

when it comes to the umbrella academy, a lot of people seem to think that the first half is great and the second half is terrible. personally, I think only the first *season* is great, or even good. here's why:

the mission statement at the end of season 1 is fixing viktor, but viktor isn't the only broken one, so you can infer that they're all going to have to fix *each other* - as a family, the one thing their abuser never let them be. and the world's burning down around them because of the most dramatic sibling confrontation to ever grace the earth, but they're holding hands and escaping together and surviving the impossible with the intent to move forward, even if that means momentarily moving backwards. it's a masterful allegory for finally growing up, accepting responsibility for your personal trauma and tragedy and how they shaped you, and the moment you take that power back by choosing to heal your inner child, only after being slapped in the face with the fact that if you don't, it *will* destroy everything you've ever built, ever cared about, and ever could.

and then the rest of the show forgets all of it. as it were, it goes in the *exact opposite direction.*

on the surface, the second season isn't *as* bad as the subsequent ones are. but season 3 and 4's faults can be traced back to season 2 by how it pivoted away from the serious subject matter that the story (not the plot - the *story*) was heavily baked in, leaning hard into the goofier elements instead, without ever understanding the contrast that those conflicting elements served to highlight. it made them both more powerful; the jokes were funnier because you were just devastated, and the trauma was more devastating because you were just in tears laughing. the emotional roller coaster is key to understanding these people, and you *have* to take the serious stuff seriously for it to work. at least half of the show doesn't, and as a result, the emotional moments feel hollow.

controversial opinion: as a character, luther is better in season 1 than he is anywhere else. he's more unlikable, but that's because he's implicitly there to show what *not* to do - even if he'd succeeded narratively by locking viktor up and saving the world, he still failed thematically by emulating their father and continuing the cycle of abuse - so luther's a character that's being very effectively used to add to the core theme of the story. he feels like a real, frustrating person, whose brain chemistry got messed up by years of abuse and isolation, all for the crime of thinking his father loved him and wanted the best for him. not like a made up guy on your screen doing silly stuff solely for your entertainment.

season 2 was also the start of the characters getting love interests instead of storylines, which season 1 never would have *dreamed* of; klaus and dave's tragic romance only served to further klaus's character arc, viktor's creepy boyfriend was actually manipulating him the whole time, five's fractured-psyche-mannequin was a narrative tool to let us see into the head of such an emotionally reticent character, and so on. the romance served the character, but fairly quickly into the show's progression, it felt like the character started serving the romance. five was immune to this curse for a long time due to aidan gallagher's age, which is why he's (for the most part) the best, most consistent character across the show, because they had to use their *imagination* for him and actually *write an arc* instead of falling back on tired romance tropes that any selection of characters could slot into to fill the dead space.

after season 1, the umbrella academy is entertaining, but it doesn't have anything to *say.* which is extremely disappointing when the show initially made such a strong case for what it wanted to be.

[6okuto]

KENMA RELATIONSHIP HCS

gn!reader, timeskip mentions

isn't a pda guy, but will fall asleep on your shoulder/rest against you as he games, and if you play with his hair, who's he to say no?

if you change your contact name in his phone, he keeps whatever it is, even if it's super silly or cheesy. like okay call "my honeybear darling angel 😚". he says it's because he's lazy but he does find it kinda cute/amusing

you cheer for kenma at practice in like, a sort of exaggerated way, like "gooo kenma!!! yeaahh!! let's go kenma!! kenma! kenma!" and he tries really hard not to look at you—not because he's annoyed, but because he doesn't want you to notice how red his face has gotten. his teammates point it out anyway

lol his team using you as motivation. "don't you want to impress them?" and kenma's like 😒😒 but gets up from the floor

kenma teaching you how to play his favourite (co-op) video games!! he's pretty patient and explains things well, so if you don't have a lot of gaming experience, don't worry too much ^^ buttt if you're competitive, get ready to Compete. he seems like someone who doesn't take it too seriously unless you start (jokingly) shit talking him

he'll try out any games you like too, even if it isn't something he'd pick himself. he doesn't really plan to when you're describing it, but then he thinks about it, or sees a post mentioning it, and the curiosity (And Affection 4 U :3) gets him

easily notices if you've gotten quieter/tired when you're out. if you're with a group, he'll tap your shoulder and offer his own, ask if you're alright, and or make up an excuse so you can both leave. if it's just the two of you, he's quick to find a place to rest for a while

he'll never make you join if you don't want to, but fans eat up any videos or streams with you—they make edits and compilations of you walking in during streams and everything. the amount of begging for a q&a and story time of how you met is crazydsjdhsj

chat is soo annoying about it too /lh "no they're not single," "i know they're out of my league," "yes they were my first subscriber," kenma telling you not to answer them when they ask if he's clingy, etc etc

! i think it'd be cute if you guys had matching phone cases, but his fans didn't know until you showed up with the other one. and they realize Just how much he has on that's matching you—the bracelet and necklace that they catch glimpses of under his hoodie, the hoodie itself from the same line as yours... yeah.

time for "he said no pickles." unless you also don't like asking/don't care,, then you guys can just take the pickles off together <3

^ if it's a serious mistake they made with your food, kenma's a lot more compelled to approach the counter.

would teach you about stocks. if you asked

mutual info dumping and yapping... he's very aware of how much he's telling you the first couple of times, but gets more comfortable when you do it back !

^ kind of guy to do his own research afterward. he makes a semi-obscure reference/joke the day after and you're like ???? Who told you that.

kind of boyfriend who hears you go "i want him" "wait why's this character kinda..." and isn't like, that offended or put off by it. says "understandable" (or questions your taste), but knows they're a character at the end of the day

quality time kind of guy. people know you're special even if they don't know you're dating because you can convince kenma to go to events or try something new when they wouldn't expect it. (obviously it's never something crazy out of his comfort zone, and it's probably because he knows you'd feel better with someone with you, but he's going all the same!!)

kenma isn't the best with receiving words of affirmation or gifts... he appreciates it, but gets awkward and doesn't know how to react ^^; you reassure him that he doesn't have to jump for joy or be super affectionate back—he shows his love in his own ways !

his gifts are very thoughtful. he gets you something practical, and then things that you've really wanted for a while. his cards aren't filled with long letters of adoration, but they're genuine and very much kenma. (+ having money in the timeskip doesn't mean he'd ever buy something expensive or flashy just because it might be 'easier.' it means he gets to buy you way more merchandise for your favourite media, paying the shipping fees that kept you away.)

you get him a super thoughtful (and maybe expensive) gift and he Lights Up. and then he's like ? you remembered / really paid that much ? really ? and he keeps smiling when he looks at it..

kenma coming downstairs with super bad bedhead and pouting when you snicker. but then he relaxes as you comb your fingers through to fix it

tying up his hair... a little ponytail or bun...

matching pajamas... or those fluffy headbands you wear to wash your face... he looks so silly and cute

university student kenma who walks in visibly irritated, and you know you're about to shit talk his group members or professor together.

late night breakfast. sitting in the kitchen eating bowls of cereal past midnight

! late night gaming sessions... and or sometimes you fall asleep waiting for kenma to finish, then wake up to realize he fell asleep at his desk. you have to coax him into bed after saving the game for him

very nervous during the first year you're together any time there's a holiday, especially valentine's day or your anniversary. he wonders if his plans and gifts are enough, not romantic enough, too boring, if you'd rather do something exciting, even if logically he knows you'll like anything he thinks up

sometimes you guys will just lie on the floor, stare at the ceiling together, and talk. maybe there's music, a game menu screen playing in the background, or you're just listening to the birds and neighbours outside. floor time is healing all the same

bleaching kenma's hair + him helping dye yours... timeskip where chat asks if you've done your hair recently because his hands have been stained :')

it's super easy to team up with kuroo to tease him but also ! teaming up to taunt and prank kuroo !! think of kenma laughing bright and loudly, eyes squinting and arms clutching his middle !! kuroo can't be that mad because he's happy someone else can get kenma this happy too

🏷️ | @icekitgeorge3 @dira333 (hey guys) @pelicanpizza @godoffuckedupcats @causenessus @priv-rose @ur-local-simp @respitable @deepenthevoid

[cheesiedomino]

RentABoyfriend.com ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: you’re tired of being single so you to take an unusual route in helping with that— but what happens when you start catching real romantic feelings for your rental boyfriend?

genre: seo changbin x fem!reader | fake relationship/dating au wc: 5.1k tags/warnings: fluff, v minor angst, mild cursing, (kinda) nerdy changbin, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol usage, just overall very cute story dw <33

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“I have a date tomorrow guys.”

Everyone’s head instantly lifts up from their phones at this sudden announcement, collectively drawing their attention at you. You weren’t expecting all of them to gasp and swap such looks of genuine confusion. It’s starting to make you think maybe this situation was a lot more serious than you’ve bargained it out to be.

You couldn’t fathom it either honestly, the realization of you going out with someone probably won’t settle in until you’re physically on the date. Based on their initial responses though, you might regret everything you’re about to say, but it’s far too late to retract any of your statements now.

“No way.. with who??” Danielle is the first out of everyone to ask.

Taehyung chimes in as well, “Yeah, who’s the lucky person? They’ve gotta be something seriously special to be talking to you.”

Well, you suppose you could put it that way.

You already have a preconceived notion of what they’re going to think of this “idea”. Mentally preparing yourself to receive a flood of questions and critique from your close friends.

“Actually… I rented him. For the week.”

Now they’re all looking at you like you’ve officially lost it. The room got scarily quiet, no one wanted to be the first to speak. You should’ve anticipated on their reactions being like this, it isn’t everyday someone just openly admits to buying a partner online. Nowadays there’s a lucrative market for just about anything, when you stumbled upon an ad for this service called ‘RentABoyfriend.com’ you didn’t think much of it. You laughed the concept off at first, thinking how lonely people must be to buy someone else’s time.

But the ads kept popping up, they wouldn’t stop showing in almost every YouTube video you were watching— even one of your favorite YouTubers promoted them before! So one day you finally decided to check this website out, you wanted to see what the hype’s all about so you signed up just for shits and giggles. You weren’t expecting to actually be somewhat interested in trying this thing out, but after going through a couple different profiles and reading hundreds of positive reviews you were practically sold.

“You rented out a boyfriend..? Seriously ___? I mean, I’m not judging but you’re a gorgeous girl you can easily get a boyfriend without paying for someone’s companionship, I don’t see why you need to rent one.” Mark bluntly expressed his opinion, he was probably the most outspoken out of all of you guys.

Taehyung and Danielle both agreed in unison, it’s practically 3 against 1 at this point. You knew you should’ve waited to tell them but you weren’t anticipating on them being this judgmental about it. You were hoping for a little more support, as they’re all way more experienced than you in the dating scene and could lend some helpful advice about your first date, ever.

See, the thing is you’ve never tried dating before so you wouldn’t know the first thing about it or what to expect from your future partner. You’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone held hands or kissed someone of the opposite sex. Being in your twenties it’s kind of embarrassing to say you’ve never done those things, but you thought what better way to try it out than renting a full-on experience that can give you just that? Well minus the kissing part, but you can make it work.

You were skeptical of doing this whole ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ thing at first because you didn’t think there’d be anyone you’d find suitable enough. A big part of the reason that you’re still single is because you’re extremely picky, you want to date a guy who’s so perfect that he must’ve came straight out of an indie romance film. Your friends would tease you for having such unrealistic standards when it came to dating but you were the all-or-nothing type, you’ll be single with fifty cats before you settle for less. Renting a boyfriend is definitely an unconventional idea of easing into dating but you thought it might be worth a try anyway.

What’s the worse that could happen?

( 1 day earlier )

Hovering your cursor over the bold red text of the website, you read over the main rules before going on to select the person you want for your date.

‘The rules are simple:

You are allowed to see only ONE person at a time, if you want to switch boyfriends you’ll have to pay a $50 fee.

MUST be over 18 to rent a boyfriend, we have implemented an age verification system before the date as we do not tolerate anyone under this age to use our services.

NO kissing, or sexual intimacy allowed. If this is found out later on by our agency we will terminate your contract and ban you from using our services in the future.

Remember to have fun !! ^_^ Our services are great for people who are new to dating or have never been in a relationship. We provide the ~ultimate~ boyfriend experience to all our clients. Customer satisfaction is 100% guaranteed ! (NO REFUNDS)’

Well jeez… they seemed a bit strict but you can deal with those rules and restrictions for the most part.

After hours of skimming through hundreds of profiles, you have a hard time choosing which you like most. Did you want an artsy, shy kind of guy? The tattooed, bad boy aesthetic type? You really couldn’t pick one until you stumble upon a particular profile that catches your eye almost immediately.

SEO CHANGBIN | 168 CM | PART-TIME LIFEGUARD | 24 | *POPULAR ↝

5 Facts About Me: I’ve traveled to over 50+ different countries and counting (ask me which my favorites are), I can speak 4 languages (working on my fifth), love to sing and used to have a rap trio with my buddies from college, I can & will easily lift you up ;) also have a secret talent for cooking, there’s nothing I can’t do!

Why Choose Me? First of all, why not choose me? I’m the best candidate for whatever kind of date you need, something casual, social gatherings, weddings, you name it! I’m very social and can make most people laugh (unless they’re the literal Grinch reincarnated), I’m able to get along well with anyone and just love to have a good time. I hope we can get to know each other and make great memories in the future :)

Going through his pictures you couldn’t believe someone was capable of being this humanely attractive. Don’t even get started on those impeccable muscles either… He really had to sport them in every other one of his photos, wearing the tightest shirts to show the outline of his insanely sculpted frame. You might have just been mesmerized from his godlike visuals alone. They even had a Valentine’s Day deluxe package that comes with seven dates in total for half the price, which they specified was for a limited time only.

$600 later you’ve got a full week of dates lined up with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in all your years of living. You should’ve definitely went shopping before considering all this because now you actually have a reason to get dolled up for someone.

You were so nervous about going on this date you almost cancelled last minute out of fear. Typing out several different elaborate paragraphs to Changbin on why you couldn’t make it. You didn’t have his real phone number, it was all through an app facilitated by the rental company that was included in the package. Even though you were feeling overwhelmed and practically shaking with anxiety about meeting up with a guy, you still forced yourself to go anyway. You didn’t just dish out all that money just to not show up and waste his time on top of all that.

Your rental boyfriend texted you the location to meet at, it was near a train station so you both could see each other out in a public open space. The outfit you wore was fairly simple, a black mini skirt with warm tights underneath and a cropped turtleneck sweater. You accessorized the look with some dainty jewelry, a thin scarf, and knee high boots to pull everything together. It wasn’t something you usually wore but you had certain clothes you saved for a special occasion like this.

Upon your arrival, you notice him standing near a vending machine and waves over at you with the biggest smile plastered on his face. You awkwardly wave back, giving a soft smile as you slowly walk up to him. He looks even better in person, you don’t even feel adequate enough to be in such a gorgeous man’s presence. No wonder he’s so popular on the site, he’s practically unreal.

“Hi, you must be ___. It’s so nice to finally meet you, might I add you look really beautiful today, I think you’re making my heart race just by looking at you. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Changbin introduces himself, buttering you up with some sweet compliments before handing you the most insane bouquet of roses you’ve ever seen.

You take the flowers and almost stumble backwards from how heavy they were, “Wow, thank you!” Changbin prevents you from falling, quickly coming up behind you to get your balance back.

“Careful honey, can’t have you injured on our first date!” He voices with concern, “I hope you love the idea I came up with, I’ve only been to this place once before but I’m sure it’s still as fun as I remember it, let’s go!” Eagerly grabbing your hand to begin the journey, he turns around again to examine your body language.

“You seem a little tense babe? Do you need a massage?” He asks in a concerned tone again, this is all really beginning to freak you out. You know this is what you signed up for but this was all starting to feel a bit too personal, all the nicknames and sweet talk he’s giving is just something you aren’t used to.

“Uh, no! It’s o-okay.” You shook your head, denying anything suspicious going on. Truth be told you were barely able to contain your composure right now.

Changbin keeps on insisting, “The massage is included in the package so you don’t have to worry about getting charged extra.”

“N-no it’s okay, really. I’m just nervous that’s all, sorry I just don’t meet up with guys…” you shyly admit, finding it hard to look him in the eye.

He nods in understanding, “No need to be nervous with me sweetheart. I’m here to make you feel as comfortable as possible.” The smile he flashes at you instantly makes you warm on the inside, he seems like a genuine, caring person. You think things might go well for you after all.

The rest of the night was full of only good vibes and laughter by the end of it all. Changbin took you to an adult arcade that had old video games like Pac-Man, Super Mario, and Space Invaders, the other side was a bar where people could sit, drink, and socialize. He bought all your drinks that night, let you use up most of his tokens and overall had the most fun you could’ve ever had with someone. He was so easygoing but also knew when to act super caring and would be all lovey dovey with you. He was gentle, nurturing, and could have conversations about anything. You loved that he’d randomly drop some interesting fact you never knew about, or talked about a certain niche topic that he’d go on multiple rants over. It didn’t feel like you were renting someone out to date you, it felt natural— like you’ve known him for longer than a couple hours. Changbin walked you home and held your hand the entire time, along with the flowers he provided a teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that didn’t scream boyfriend goals then you don’t know what does.

The next day you wake up to Changbin blowing your phone up this morning. You had over 26 messages from him, which was pretty excessive in your humble opinion. The first thing he said was good morning then he goes on to express how fun yesterday was and he can’t wait to do it again. He even sent a couple mirror selfies of him at the gym, ‘conceited much?’ You thought. But then again, if you were Seo Changbin you’d probably be full of yourself too.

For today’s date you wore a pretty red sundress that made your skin glow in the sunlight. It’ll definitely get him to compliment you even more— which you secretly love when he does. Changbin calls you before he heads out to the date, letting you know how excited he is to see you again. You couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot on the train as you made your way to the destination, thinking about what he’s planned for you two next. This time you’ll be meeting up at a park but you still have no clue what you’re doing.

Changbin texts you where exactly he is in the park, it was pretty huge so it took you a while to get to him. As you get closer you see him sitting on a large blanket by the lake, on top of it were a bunch of different foods and snacks scattered all around that came out of a huge picnic basket. You were speed walking at this point trying to get to him. His arms opened out for a hug and you lean right into him, what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up and lift you in his arms to swing around you like a doll.

“Put me down I’m scared of heights!” You squeal out in fear of being too high up in the air. Maybe you really should’ve taken the bio on his profile more seriously when he mentioned certain things.

Finally putting you down after minutes go by of you protesting, Changbin sits you back onto the blanket. He brought an assortment of breads, cheese, fruits, lemonade that he made himself and a couple seltzers. You’ve never seen anyone put such time and effort into a date before, even being here with him is like living in a daydream. He was definitely succeeding in making you feel comfortable, which is something you never thought was possible with men. He actually took his time getting to know you and didn’t sound arrogant whenever he talked about himself, Changbin was so different than other guys who’ve tried hitting on you in the past. He was actually respectful, intelligent, and could easily carry a conversation without long, awkward pauses.

He was literally everything you’re looking for in a guy. But you’ll be seeing him for this week only then it’s bye bye forever. That revelation makes you a little upset, but you try pushing those thoughts in the back of your mind. It’s irrelevant and unnecessary to think about. Yet you can’t help but wonder about certain things though, wanting to know more about his job and what it’s like on a daily basis for him.

“Can I ask you something? I need you to answer it honestly.” You say out of nowhere, hoping that didn’t come out as weird as you thought.

Changbin nods, “of course, shoot.”

“How many clients do you usually get?”

This question definitely catches him off guard, he’s never really been asked this before and he’s debating on if he should as it might be a breach of privacy.

“I don’t think I can answer that, sorry.” He responds in the nicest way possible, but deep down he wants to know why you’d want to know how many other people he sees a day.

You were going to push him a bit more to try and get an answer but you decide to let it go and just enjoy the rest of the picnic. You didn’t want to bring the mood down with your odd questions and/or end up making him feel so uncomfortable that he won’t want to see you anymore. It was definitely something you shouldn’t have asked but you were curious to know anyway. Overall besides that small incident, you had another wonderful time with Changbin and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come any faster.

Changbin had a foolproof way of getting you to blush like a giddy high school teen whenever he texted you. He’d always refer to you as ‘pretty girl’ or ‘princess’ which gave you insane amount of butterflies. You loved how clingy he could get and would double text when you don’t reply fast enough, always needing constant attention from you which you never minded giving.

He texted you at around three in the afternoon, proposing his next plan for today’s date.

‘Let’s go out for drinks tonight, it’s all on me ;)’

You liked his message, replying that you’ll be there and put a series of hearts at the end. Speaking of hearts, yours is fluttering at high altitudes from the way you can’t stop thinking about your “boyfriend” Changbin. This has been better than anything you could’ve expected, you never want this week to come to an end. It’s only been three days but you’ve begun to grow feelings for him, they weren’t too strong just yet but they were most definitely there. You couldn’t let that halt you from having a good time tonight, you’ll have to accept it soon enough he’s not your actual boyfriend. He’s doing this because you paid him to, if it wasn’t for your money he wouldn’t be here right now.

‘This relationship is purely transactional’ you unfortunately keep reminding yourself of the reality you’re in. Psyching yourself out of this sudden somber mood that’s consuming you, distracting your pessimism by raiding your closet for some cute clothes to wear tonight’s date. After what seemed like hours of tearing your entire room apart, you decide to settle on this sparkly black mini tube dress, pairing it with a leather jacket and more platform shoes because you’re obsessed with feeling tall. Once it’s 7 PM you head out to the bar you’re seeing Changbin at, he was already waiting for you inside the place. Eyes instantly lighting up when he sees you coming towards him, just like he always does he motions for a hug, pulling you in tightly like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hugs felt so cozy, like sitting in front of the fireplace on a crisp, snowy winter’s evening. You never wanted to escape the warmth of his arms, it was one of those forms of physical touch that felt so overly personal to you. The thought of him hugging someone the same way he hugs you slightly enrages something in your spirit but again, it isn’t your place to get genuinely upset over him doing his job. You’re not entitled to him exclusively, but you feel like if you keep this up feelings will only continue to develop. This wasn’t something you considered when going into this and now you feel like you’ve just made a huge mistake.

“You okay babe?” Changbin notices you acting a bit strange, choosing not to pursue it after telling him you’re fine. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t want to mess up the flow of the date, instead he orders a drink for the both of you and switches on to a lighter subject. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow at that new centre that just opened last week. I need to buy some new AirPods, I accidentally lost one of them in a taxi..”

“Sure,” you nod at his suggestion, in desperate need of some new clothes anyway. “Sorry about your AirPods, that sucks!”

He takes a sip of his bubbly drink that’s now on the table, “Eh, it’s okay this is probably the fourth time this has happened so far.” This has pretty much become a regular occurrence for him by now.

As the date progresses, things continue getting better. You’re both laughing, engaging in much deeper conversation than ever before. You definitely had more than enough alcohol in your system by now, feeling congested and claustrophobic as more people came into the bar. Changbin takes note of your discomfort and asks if you want to get some fresh air outside, you wasted absolutely no time to agree.

While you two were outside continuing your chat about some wild conspiracy he read about online, Changbin’s attention was soon drawn to a different building nearby. Gazing up in confusion at his sudden outburst of excitement, you wonder where he could be leading you next.

“Noraebang!” He shouts loud enough anyone miles away could’ve heard that, he’s now grabbing your hand to frantically drag you along with him.

You were never one to carry a tune but Changbin was actually very good at karaoke and singing in general, he had such a lovely voice. You could seriously listen to him sing all night— which you basically did since you kept begging for an encore until it hit 4 am. That’s when you both decided to finally call it a night, you wanted to pay for the Uber since he’s paid for all the drinks and every other expenses for today. You felt bad because you were the one renting him to be your boyfriend yet he’s constantly shelling out money left and right. He still insisted on paying and ultimately won the whole debacle, making you swallow your pride and get into the Uber with him. Changbin’s definitely not just someone you’re going to forget about after this week is over. You dread the day this all comes to an end, wishing there was a way to relive these moments again and again.

“I’m a little under the weather today, sorry I can’t make it Binnie.” Your voice is hoarse from coughing and unbearable throat pain. You’ve already consumed half a bag of cough drops, throat lozenges, and random cold medicine you’ve found in your cabinets.

He sounds mildly disappointed, but springs back up with a new proposal, “I can come over and bring some soup if you’d like!”

You appreciate his gesture but still refuse, you know he’s only saying all this because he has to, not because he wants to. “N-no you don’t have to, I’m sure you can go see other clients today. One less person to worry about right?”

The call went silent for a minute, he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to such a deprecating comment.

“I don’t want to see other clients, I want to see you ___.” He sighs, unwilling to give up so easily, “I’ll be at your place soon, m’kay?” He hangs up before you could even respond or say no again.

You had no choice but to wait for Changbin to show up now. Before you got sick, the last two dates you went on were debatably the best so far. You had gone out shopping together, accidentally wearing almost the same kind of outfit. Changbin was wearing a white graphic tee with blue baggy jeans and you wore something practically identical. The two of you looked like a real, official couple and people would stare as you walked hand in hand, it really did seem like the perfect relationship on the outside.

You got even closer when he came over the following day, resulting in you two cuddling while watching movies and baking cookies. He’s expressed that he’s never been to another client’s home before but it wasn’t “technically” against any rules. The more you kept hanging out together, the harder it was coming to terms with the fact you’re actually falling for Changbin. He made every experience with you more exciting than the last, which he did exactly that night. When the cookies were done you fed a piece to him, making little airplane sounds as you do it, he eagerly takes a bite of the chewy treat and compliments both your efforts.

“These taste way better than I thought, oh my god they literally melt in your mouth. Try it!” He takes another cookie from the tray and feeds it to you this time.

There was something so overly domestic about that moment you couldn’t shake the feelings of wanting to kiss him right then and there. But you can’t. If you did such a thing you’d never be allowed to see him again, plus you don’t want to be known as that one creepy client who just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. As you were cuddling on the couch though, things may have taken a turn for the better… or worse?

Changbin would “yawn” at the movie and subtly wrap his arm around you, he’d subconsciously pull you in closer and it didn’t make it any better that you were under the same blanket. You weren’t complaining at any of this though, you were pretty much in heaven. It took everything in you not to look up and stare, gluing your eyes to the movie that was displayed on the TV. But as the night progressed you were practically snuggling up with him like he was your real boyfriend. The way he’d run his fingers gently down your back, soothing you in a way that could lull you asleep. His touch was the most relaxing thing ever, you were so calm with him and loved how he brought a side of you that’s never been shown. After this encounter you can no longer deny the way you feel— you are officially falling deeply in love your rental boyfriend, Seo Changbin.

The sound of your doorbell ringing alarms you of a new visitor, who was none other than your “boyfriend” waiting patiently outside the door for you. You feel and look like death itself, coming downstairs to answer the door still in your PJ’s and hair a disheveled mess. Every five seconds was interrupted with you coughing your lungs out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Changbin looks thrilled as ever to see you, even when you clearly don’t look your best he’s still coming up to hug you tightly. His hugs are always blocking off your airways from the way his muscles squeeze you, it’s even worse when you’re sick— practically gasping for air.

“Sorry babyy, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day and soon as you said you’re sick I dropped everything to go make you this soup. It’s a specialty I make whenever my friends are sick, the perfect remedy to cure my princess.” He goes into your kitchen to heat up the soup in your microwave, making you wait patiently on the couch as you’re wrapped up in multiple blankets.

Your body feels like it’s -2 degrees, you were freezing. The crazy thing is your thermostat was set to 80 degrees, it was definitely you that was the problem. He propped your feet up on the table, rested a tray in your lap and set the bowl of soup on top. Brushing a couple strands of hair out your face he looks at you intently, examining your symptoms as if he’s a doctor.

“It’ll be okay soon love, I’m here to nurse you back to health again. Can’t see my pretty baby sick like this, makes me all sad.” He pouts, giving you a soft head pat like you’re a delicate kitten.

He takes a spoonful of the hot soup, slightly blowing on it before telling you to open up so you can eat. You don’t know what’s gotten into you but you feel like he’s gone too far with all this. It’s not fair for you to continue on if it’s just become torture now. He’s practically dangling in your face that you’ll never have a partner as perfect as him in your life.

“I- I can’t do this anymore Changbin..” you say lowly, refusing to eat the soup he made.

“What do you mean? I’m just feeding you soup, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to-”

“This isn’t real… none of it is. I’m stupid for even doing this but I was lonely.. I’m sorry but I’d prefer something that isn’t temporary.” You cut him off to express your pent up frustrations, ready to be let down and rejected by him as gently as possible.

“Then let’s make it real,” he proposes without any hesitation, “honestly I stopped faking it around our third date, it was all me after that. I never said anything because well… this is my job and I’ve never fallen for a client before so this is still all very new to me..”

You’d be screaming right now if you weren’t sick, instead you’re internally freaking out at this confession, it feels like your hearts doing cartwheels and somersaults.

“Seriously?” Eyes widening as you look at him, suddenly your body heat rises and you know it’s not because of the soup or the layers of blankets that’s covering you.

He nods, “I thought it was kinda obvious when we kissed yesterday..”

Oh yeah… you forgot that did happen. You thought it was another fever dream you might’ve just made up in your head. You shared your first kiss with someone you deemed so special and important to you, someone you never would’ve guessed could come into your life and shift the entirety of your world like magic. There was no one else in existence you wanted more than Changbin.

“Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to quit your job? I don’t want to be the reason you stop making such good income.. I’ll feel so bad.” You knew deep down you didn’t feel that badly about him quitting to date you instead. It was just the thought of him leaving something he’s been doing for years behind all for some girl he’s known for simply a week.

He shrugs at your comment, “I’ll be just fine, I was planning on finding a new job soon anyway. It gets kinda old after a while, I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time. You were able to get me to open up and show my true self, I could never thank you enough for that ___.” Changbin couldn’t resist the urge to plant a kiss to your forehead.

After everything that’s been said and done. What you’ve come to understand is that love is learned, a development that takes time to grow and blossom into something extraordinary. Just like learning a new language or a musical instrument, we learn love from society and cultures we’re raised in, it’s a beautiful thing once we know how to cherish it. Your newfound romance with Changbin is something you’ll learn to cherish forever and ever.

[End <3].

[walpu]

hey, hey, I don't know how many times I've read your post "pre-relationship" especially aventurine part (omg i love how you write abt him 😭). I wonder how it will be once they are in a relationship and the kissing part please :3 thank u and have a nice day!

THANK YOUUUUU

Hope you'll enjoy this post too💛💛💛

being in a relationship with Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort (do I even write something other that hurt/comfort for him lmao), no beta

can be seen as a part 2 of this post but it can stan on it's own as well

Aventurine

It would take quite some time for Aventurine to move from the pre-relationship stage with you. Will dance around the subject, throwing hints and flirty remarks but as for making an actual move? Oof.

Would cling to your side and shamelessly say something like "aww, can't get enough of me? people may think we're dating <З unless that's what you want them to think haha"

Pathetic. /affectionally.

But seriously, he really wants to be sure that you like him before making a move. That you like him, not his money, not the idea of him. At least that's what he tells himself. And while this is part of the reason, the actual thing is that he's simply... confused. He's already more vulnerable around you than he ever was around anyone else. And dating means being even more vulnerable.

While he yearns for this genuine connection he's also a scared of it. Tim Kreider wrote the line "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" about him actually.

It would take some time for him to get used to being in relationship. In the previous post I've mentioned that he, most likely, had some short flings in the past. I seriously doubt that he ever had any serious relationship before you though. It's so new to him. At first it would seem like nothing has changed between the two of you at all. Surprisingly, it looks like he even became a bit more distant.

Aventurine doesn't want to attract any unwanted attention to your relationship since it will only endanger you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm himself. Plus he is scared shitless.

He can't help but feel that he looses everything he holds dear. After all, it's been like that for all of his life. And he simply can't loose you.

Mini spoiler for his leaked character story, but there is a moment there when he looks at the aventurine stone Diamond gave him and he realizes that despite the fact that he worked so hard for it, now that he has it, it holds no real value since it doesn't fill the emptiness inside of him. Logically, he knows that this won't happen with you. He loves you too much. But there's this subconscious fear inside of him that he's just so messed up inside that he simply would not be able to love you like you deserve.

Be patient with him, this mans doesn't know what he's doing. Don't give up on him and he'll crawl to your side, holding onto you for dear life.

Once he will calm down a bit, he'll make it up for all those times when you were the one reaching out to him. Texts you, calls you, arranges spontaneous dates.

In the beginning of relationship would spoil you with expensive gifts. He knows what it's like to have nothing so he doesn't want you to ever feel this way. And the best way to prevent it? To make sure that you will have anything and everything. Maybe it's a subconscious way to bribe you. Maybe. Not like he realizes it himself.

Once he'll feel more stable and more confident, his gift giving tendencies will get less overwhelming. He still like giving you gifts but now he picks and chooses. His sugar darling deserves only the best, after all.

Acts all clingy, playful and unserious but actually listens to your every word and is ready to fulfil your every need.

Is actually very caring. Shows his care by pestering you and easing you tho.

If you feel down, will sit stay by your side. May randomly start tickling you, if you're ticklish. If not, will find another way to touch you in a playful and somewhat annoying way. After you cheer up a bit, Aven will put his chin on your shoulder and hugs your waist, softly asking what happen and why is his dearest darling seems sad.

As for kisses. Aven will loooove covering your face with butterfly kisses. And not only your face. Will randomly grab your hand and kiss your knuckles and fingertips. If you've made a mistake of exposing your shoulder then be ready for it to be kissed endlessly.

Adores kissing those parts of your body that are usually covered with clothes. It feels fore intimate for him.

And if you have freckles or/and beauty marks. Oh well. Will trace them with his fingertips, connecting them with some invisible lines and sometimes gasp playfully, saying that he found his constellation. Just a silly little guy being a silly little guy.

So touch-starved it's unreal.

Has very mixed feeling about his tattoo being kissed. Would feel... weirs if you would kiss it during your casual cuddling session. He exposes it for the world to see, yes. But still, when it attracts attention of someone who knows the meaning behind it... Makes him a bit tense, it catches him off-guard. However, if you kiss it after a lovemaking session or when he shares some painful memories with you, he will feel reassured.

Will slowly start crawling out of his shell when he's with you. Before he only shared some brief memories of his past with you, now he'll start slowly opening up about other, much more painful stuff.

It still happens randomly and out of the blue. He remembers something, he tenses up. But now, instead of repressing this feelings, he shares them with you.

Don't push him too talk, he'll slowly open up on his own.

Loves waking up next to you. Especially if you're still asleep. Seeing the sun shining on your face fills him with love and tenderness. Only with you by his side he feels truly safe.

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Family breakfast

Hii guyss, here's a new one-shot about Toto. If you want to read more stories of mine here's my masterlist :)

A quiet morning turns into delightful chaos when you discover your husband and son’s surprise gone awry. This leads to a heartwarming family moment filled with laughter and love.

The first thing you notice as you wake is the stillness. Normally, the house would already be alive with the sounds of your son, Jack, running down the hallway, his little feet pounding against the floor. The absence of that familiar noise pulls you from your dreams. And then it hits you: Toto isn’t beside you either. He always stays a little longer in the mornings, kissing your forehead softly before slipping out of bed. But today, nothing.

You sit up, pushing the blankets aside as you glance at the empty spot beside you, feeling a small pang of curiosity. Throwing on a cozy sweater, you pad down the hallway toward the faint smell of… something. It’s not exactly appetizing, but it is familiar. There’s flour in the air, a hint of chocolate, and unmistakably… burnt something.

Rounding the corner, you arrive at the kitchen doorway and pause, stifling a laugh at the scene in front of you. The kitchen is in absolute disarray: flour streaks cover the countertops, bits of batter have splattered on the walls, and your husband and son are standing there, Jack on his stool next to Toto, both looking down at what appears to be a very charred attempt at pancakes.

They’re completely unaware of you watching them, too focused on the burnt batch in front of them.

“Maybe if we put enough syrup on them, she won’t notice,” you hear Jack say in a serious tone, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes as he looks up at Toto. Toto raises a brow, giving him a playful smile. “You think that’ll work?”

“Well, it works when you make toast,” Jack whispers back, eyes glinting with the wisdom of his young mind.

You clear your throat, unable to hold back a chuckle any longer, and they both spin around, caught red-handed. Jack’s face lights up in that special way, a smile spreading wide across his cheeks as he shouts, “Mama! We were trying to surprise you!”

Toto laughs, raising his flour-covered hands in surrender. “Our plan may not have gone exactly as we hoped,” he admits, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Turns out we’re not quite as skilled as you when it comes to pancakes.”

You take a few steps forward, pretending to survey the kitchen with a critical eye, your gaze landing on the plate of charcoal-colored pancakes. “Well,” you say, folding your arms in mock seriousness, “it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Jack laughs, his pride undented as he stands tall on his stool. “I helped with the mixing, Mama! But the flipping is hard.”

Toto nods, pretending to look solemn. “It really is harder than it looks. I think we’re going to need some expert intervention here.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you say, feigning skepticism. “Do you think you two can handle working as my assistants?”

Jack nods so vigorously his little curls bounce. “Yes, yes! I’ll mix it all again!”

You smile, grabbing an apron for yourself and tying it around your waist before stepping forward, guiding them both in their roles. Jack is in charge of mixing the batter again, but this time, you make sure to guide him a little more closely. His giggles are infectious as he watches the lumps disappear, proudly showing you his work. Toto tries to take charge of flipping once more, insisting he’s got it this time, only for a pancake to land halfway on the counter, sending Jack into fits of laughter.

Eventually, after much laughter and a few (successful) pancake flips, you plate the perfect stack, golden and warm. You bring it to the table, setting out butter and syrup while Jack bounces over to his spot, already piling syrup on his stack.

You all sit down together, and Jack digs in immediately, a trail of syrup dribbling down his chin as he takes his first big bite. Toto gives your hand a gentle squeeze under the table, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles as he leans close, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “I think next time, we’ll let you be the head chef from the start.”

“Or maybe,” you tease, glancing at the two of them, “we keep it a team effort. But maybe a slightly less… chaotic team effort?”

Jack, overhearing, looks up with a big grin. “Family team!” he declares proudly, raising his fork in a sticky salute. You and Toto laugh, clinking your forks with his in agreement.

The three of you linger over breakfast, taking your time with each bite, sharing stories and laughter as the sun streams softly through the kitchen windows. There’s something magical about this moment, the simplicity of syrup-sticky hands and flour-dusted counters. Sitting here with Jack’s joyful giggles and Toto’s quiet warmth beside you, you can’t help but feel a deep, overflowing gratitude for mornings like this—messy, beautiful, and shared with the two people who mean everything to you.

[bridgertonnteas]

So I have some tea about our favorite bridgertons

I was at the afterparty today of the London screening & premiere and some info are confirmed that I happened to know from today and from before through insiders 1) Ben is the s4 lead & everyone already knows it and just like they used Polin season to build Fran story, they will use Ben season to build Eloise story 2) They thought about combining seasons but the idea fell through after fear of the fan's reaction. They thought about combining Ben & Eloise seasons first, but Ben fans have been eagerly wanting his season, so they decided to focus on him in his own season. The idea presented itself again about possibly combining Eloise and Fran seasons together in one season, but that idea feel through as well. So far each season will focus on a specific sibling 3) There is a possible spinoff or two they thinking about one would be between s3 & s4 and one between s4 & s5. the spin-off they think about it to happen between s3 & 4 is a young Violet spin-off. nothing is finalized yet but they have been seriously considering it 4) All the cast of s3 gave their agreement to come back in future seasons and they don't want a repeat of s1 leads not returning and JB did say he wants to be back as long as they need him even if as cameo

gossip side of things 1) Luke T & Harriet Cains did break up then went back together and now it's unclear what the state of their relationship is, but at least they are still friends. Things possibly will be clearer when him as the lead of the new season news will be out. She was seen with another man that she was cozy with at the NYC premiere, but Luke T has also said he video called her during that event according to a fan video

2) Bessie Carter was upset about something she read in her comments bit of it was unreasonable due to jealousy and comments that affected her for a bit and for a brief time it made her unfollow all her female co-stars 3) Claudia Jessie isn't engaged, but she is still in a long time serious relationship 4) Luke Newton's casual gf or what some call situationship he has with certain someone isn't over yet, but it isn't serious nor exclusive either. He hasn't been introducing her as his gf to anyone and calls her just a friend of a friend & came close to ending that relationship once. She didn't show up even at the after party, but there has been a talk that he and his friends possibly met her & her friends at another party later, but that is unclear and unconfirmed. He was seen however with his friends and his assistant leaving the London after party together. some of his team left with him as well 5) Nicola Coughlan Was dating someone but broke up with him by end of March. some speculated that she still might be with that person, but they are just still friends. The guy has common friends with her friends and the relationship ended in a friendly way. He was seen kissing someone else in April

6) Both Luke N and Nicola C were seen together having more than friendly strolls in some of the press tours countries. They also had a private trip together along with their teams and things seemed to be more than friendly with them, but according to close acquaintances they are very still close friends & they so far not taking their relationship further out of worry of complicating their work relationship and unsure if those feelings that developed before during s3 filming but ignored then again during past few months were real or if they were just due to spending much of their time together. The show staff, their respective teams, and others also see their attraction to one another & have been openly hoping for them to get together one day sooner or later

[perfectlyoongi]

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who can’t control his sarcasm. for Namjoon, it was all fun: the way you talked about others, how you told your adventures with others, how you praised them — it was so ridiculous, Namjoon just couldn’t take it. oh, of course you loved having breakfast with the other, it wasn’t even at the cheapest cafe in town or anything. it was obvious that you laughed at that story, it was so comical that it could only be invented by a child. Namjoon couldn’t take it, and he was even amazed that you didn’t realize how desperate they all were for your attention — are you sure you aren’t a substitute for the lack of paternal love they felt? “oh, my angel, i’m not saying you have bad taste. what i’m saying is that you have peculiar taste when it comes to partners.”

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who knows perfectly well that you don’t deserve those poor souls. you were so much better than any of them. you, your person, your soul, your essence deserved something more true, more lasting, than the mere whims of people who just wanted something from you. none of these people wanted your entirety: no one wanted your messy hair when you woke up, no one wanted your tears from the loneliest nights, no one wanted your darker side, the one you didn’t show to anyone. they all just wanted your smile, your laugh, the persona you were in every social situation. you didn’t deserve to be reduced to a few hours of existence. you lived 24 hours, and during those 24 hours you were divine anyway — they were so blind for not seeing you. “just listen to me. you are an incredible person. you are extremely beautiful inside and out. your personality is divine. you are divine. yea? you with me? good. now they…”

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who tells you again and again that you were happier with him. Namjoon only had one argument that he used every time he wanted to ask you to stay with him; it was just a question, simple words that danced on his lips and made you seriously consider whether all your relationships were, in fact, true — after all, why be reduced to a particle of your existence when you could be full next to Namjoon? “i don’t understand why you don’t want me. no, i’m not kidding. i’m very serious. you should give me a chance and see if i’m right.”

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who likes to scare away your suitors by holding you by the waist. Namjoon had a special pleasure in seeing the humiliated faces of those who wanted you. when he noticed more sadistic smiles and more absurd conversations, Namjoon would waltz towards you with a smile of pleasure on his lips. intruding into the conversation without any difficulty, and eagerly participating in the discussion, Namjoon would very gently and sneakily hold onto your waist, carefully pulling you closer to him. and with the smile still stuck on his lips and his eyes shining in a light of victory, Namjoon was happy to see everyone else walking away from you with defeated eyes. “but i heard he— hello, darling. how was i saying, i heard he was in spain, is that true?”

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who asks why you said “sorry” when refusing others’ advances. ‘i’m with him, sorry’. sorry? sorry? what do you mean sorry? what, you wanted to go with them but you didn’t want to leave Namjoon alone? you wanted to accept their sly conversations but you didn’t want to leave Namjoon aside? sorry? why sorry? why not a simple ‘i’m with him, period.’ i’m with him, that’s all. sorry? no. you couldn’t say sorry. “sorry? what? you want me to leave so you can have some freedom, is that it? if you have so much sorry, you can tell me and i’ll leave now.”

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who tells everyone who asks that he is his boyfriend. if you felt sorry for being with Namjoon, it was only logical for him to introduce himself as your boyfriend. i mean, what other reason was there for you to excuse others? yes. Namjoon was your boyfriend. he held your hand, smiled at strangers, always had you with him, he was your boyfriend. i mean, he was a boy and he was your friend, so he wasn’t lying. he was your boy friend. he was your boyfriend. “yes, yes, we are dating. it’s been… how long, darling? two years, right? yea, truly my soulmate, i knew it from the beginning.”

JEALOUS!NAMJOON who explains to you why he was acting like that when you yelled at him. you wanted him to stop for a bit. you wanted him to take a deep breath and let you participate in conversations and events without having to worry about scaring people away. you asked for something simple: just for him to leave you alone. you just asked him to let you live. but how was Namjoon supposed to leave you alone when he knew everyone desired you and no one wanted you? how was Namjoon supposed to let you live when he knew everyone wanted to corrupt you and no one wanted to take care of you? don’t you realize he was just watching over you? “ok, sorry! but it hurts me to see you trying to find a life away from me. don’t you realize that everything i’ve been doing is because i can’t see you with anyone else? don’t you understand that i like you and i’m being honest when i ask you to give me a chance? is this so hard to understand?”

[nickfowlerrr]

i never thought you’d happen to me - 1

part two / part three

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. smut (part two), fluff, bit of angst. time travel via magic. dad!bucky and mom!reader. steve x nat. some morally dubious homemade porn viewing 💀 (part two). if i’m missing anything that should be tagged, please lmk!

words: just a bit over 6k.

notes: this idea came from a prompt post i saw not too long ago and coincidentally fell into some bingo spots for my @the-slumberparty bingo card.

fair warning: this is so completely self indulgent and a little trope overload lol but i had such a good time working on it and it was fun to write so who really cares 😌 thank you in advance for reading and reblogging! as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated. please let me know what you think! 🥰

It’s another late Friday night as you and the team lounge around the common room, nearly empty takeout containers scattered around the table, glasses and bottles of your drinks much the same. There’s a movie no one is watching playing on the large screen as the current conversation around you continues.

You’re not sure how telling a story from your last mission with Bucky has turned into this once again, but here you are. Another cute remark from Sam about his expectancy to be in the wedding party earns him another glare from you.

“Hey, you side-eye now but in ten years you’ll look back and realize how right we all were,” he says, elbowing Bucky slightly. “Tinman by your side,” he adds with a grin - clearly amused with himself.

“That is not my future,” you say with a humorless chortle.

“I can show you your future,” Wanda speaks from her spot on the couch, everyone turning their heads at once to look at her. She’s been unusually quiet the past few minutes - not engaging much in the conversation as she observed it instead. She takes another sip of her wine as she meets your gaze, foot swinging lazily as she keeps one leg crossed over the other.

She tilts her head at you while you eye her with a raised brow, a look of incredulity on your face.

“What?” she questions, confused at not only yours, but everyone’s, lack of response.

“Come on,” you laugh lightly, brushing her off.

“I’m serious.”

“Wanda, I don’t need to see what my future looks like to know that Bucky will be playing no part in it.”

A round of scoffs, snickers and a groan erupt from around the living room as you roll your eyes. You catch Bucky, seated across from you, doing the same as you turn your face.

“You’re all very funny, and I’m glad you’re amused with yourselves, but I can’t sit here and listen to the same inane conversation over again, soooo,” you pause for a breath, “I’m going to bed,” you clap as you stand from your spot on the couch.

“Look, I don’t speak for everyone, but I am not joking in the slightest,” Kate laughs as she leans back into her seat. Aiming finger guns at you and Bucky, “You guys,” she says, “are endgame.”

“And you, my friend, are drunk.”

Another round of laughs before the previous chatter resumes among the group, a story of misadventure now being told from Parker’s perspective, and you can hear Stark’s interjections already.

You grab your empty glass and head to the kitchen, Wanda following shortly after you.

“You’re stubborn,” she says with no preamble.

You turn with a quirked brow, “Am I?”

“Very. So much so, I think I may need your permission.”

“Sorry...uhm, for?” you ask, clearly confused.

“I think you should see it.” Your face falls slack at her words as you turn back to finish washing out your glass.

“Wanda, -” you go to laugh again.

“No, actually,” she stops you, correcting herself, “you need to see it. You’re stunting yourself. You’re constantly getting in your own way. I think it’d be good for you, to see what you can have if you finally allow it to come to you.”

You're quieted by her sincerity for a moment, half because you weren’t taking any of the previous conversation seriously, and half because you didn’t think it was something she was actually capable of doing. In fact, you still didn’t. But if she wanted to try, who were you to argue.

“Uhhh,” you begin, shaking your head lightly, “I mean, if you really want to, then, go for it, I guess. You have my permission.”

“Good,” she smiles, turning to walk back out to the other’s.

“Wow, wait,” you stop her, “like, what exactly are you gonna do?”

“Just a swap,” she says simply. “A day in the life of your future self. You don’t have to do anything, just go to sleep tonight and you’ll see.”

Your eyes narrow in thought, “...This isn’t dangerous, right?”

“No, not at all. You guys will be fine. 24 hours and you’ll wake up in your own beds, safe and sound. I promise.”

She smiles and flits away quickly. You shake your head at yourself again, still unsure what exactly you’ve agreed to. And it isn’t until you’re walking down the hallway back to your room that what she said actually catches up to you.

You guys will be fine?

You stop walking when you hear footsteps behind you, glancing back to find Bucky coming down the hall. You swallow hard and turn back around, not far from your door.

“Stalker much?” you say without facing him, earning a scoff in return.

He’s barely a step behind you now, though his sudden proximity is not all that surprising. You’ve grown used to his stealth.

“In your dreams.”

“More like waking nightmares. Every time I turn around it’s like you’re always just right there.”

“Maybe if you didn’t put yourself into jeopardy every five minutes I wouldn’t have to shadow you so often.”

You’re walking side by side and you get to your door as he speaks. You turn on him, instantly irritated.

“Are you being serious?” you level at him. He doesn’t respond. “How are you still hung up on Belarus? It was one mission. That was not on me, I didn’t fuck up. No one else saw them coming, either,”

“I did.”

“Well, sorry I’m not as infallible as the one and only Bucky Barnes,” you speak exaggeratedly, annoyance clear in your tone. “You still act like I’m some kind of liability. I’ve been careful. I’m riding a lengthy no injury streak and we’ve still yet to fail a single mission. After how many assignments we’ve been on together, you think you’d start taking me more seriously.”

“I never said I didn’t take you seriously. Just think sometimes you’re still a little too cocky for your own good.”

“For the thousandth time, I’m not clueless, Barnes. I don’t need you monitoring my every move. Not during training, not on missions, and definitely not walking down a hallway at night. I think I can handle getting to my room alone. Or is assuming that too cocky of me?” you ask with a tilt of your head, sarcasm dripping off your tongue.

You don’t wait for a response before you turn to your door and let yourself in, snapping it shut behind you.

You flick on the light and are quickly greeted by a room that is… definitely not yours. You pause for a second, taking in your surroundings before you deflate with a sigh, following it up with a deep breath. You turn the light back off and then turn back around to the door. You wait for a second longer with your hand on the handle before you force yourself to exit the room.

Just like you knew he would be, Bucky is still standing right where you left him; a stupid smirk on his stupidly handsome face.

“Wrong room,” he says.

“Fuck off,” you grumble as you walk a little further down the hall, to your actual door.

“Goodnight to you, too,” Bucky says as he continues to his own room, not far from you. You send him a glare and a “hmph” before shutting your door and getting ready for bed.

You’re not helpless. You’re not clueless. You’re damn good at what you do. But fuck if Bucky doesn’t have a knack for knocking you off kilter with a single look.

—-

It’s a soft shaking that wakes you from your peaceful sleep. You’re so comfortable, you don’t want to move - you don’t even want to blink open your eyes. But the shaking comes again. Your brows furrow as your arms tighten around your pillow and you cuddle further into it.

Only it’s not your pillow.

It takes a second for you to process that instead, it’s a warm body you’re pressing yourself against before your eyes snap open.

You look up and find a confused Bucky staring down at you.

When your eyes meet, though, there’s a bit of softness there. And as you take in his face, you relax a bit again. His presence beside you is at once comforting as it is confounding.

“What are you doing?” you both ask at the same time - only furthering your confusion.

You suddenly realize you’re still wrapped around him and quickly sit up and give him space.

“Why are you in my bed?” you ask as you rub your eyes with the palms of your hands.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he says as he looks around, “but I don’t think we’re at the tower.”

You look up and blink away the fuzziness. Then it hits you.

“Oh shit,” you murmur.

“What? You know where we are?” he asks as he stands and starts looking around, inspecting the room. “Better yet, how the hell we got here?”

“Maybe…Would you believe me if I said we might possibly be in the future?”

Bucky turns and looks at you incredulously.

“Wanda,” you speak at the same time.

“For fuck’s sake,” he says as he runs a hand over his face.

“In my defense,” you begin, “when I agreed to this, I didn’t think she’d be able to do it. I also didn’t think it’d involve anyone else..”

“What do you mean you agreed to this? What is this?”

“She said I needed to see the future. It’d be good for me, or whatever, so I said okay. She said it was uh, a future swap? 24 hours. Day in the life and then I’d wake up back in my own bed the next day.”

“And you agreed to it?”

“Fuckin’, yeah, obviously,” you huff. “I didn’t think it’d be.. Real? I don’t know.”

“So, so what? We’re stuck in some unknown future for the next 24 hours?”

“What part of ‘I don’t know’ do you not understand?”

“Why would you agree to something like this without fully knowing what it is you’re agreeing to? This is exactly what I’m talking about when I say-”

“Spare me, Barnes. It’s Wanda, okay? We���re fine. It’s 24 hours, and I’m assuming that clock started when we fell asleep last night, so really it’s only…,” your voice dies down as you look to the clock on the bedside table. The time isn’t what catches your eye, though.

No.

It’s the framed photo behind it that derails your train of thought.

“No fucking way,” you breathe as you grab it in disbelief.

You stare at the photo of you and Bucky, a close up of you in a sweet embrace, adorning soft smiles as you share a chaste kiss, your left hand touching his cheek, and what you can only assume is a wedding ring sitting pretty on your finger.

This has to be some kind of dream. That’s it. You’re dreaming. Duh. Your hand moves before your mind does and you slap yourself in your face as hard as you can manage, sure it’ll wake you up and you’ll be back in the tower, in your own bed, alone.

“What the fuck?!” Bucky exclaims in surprise as you wince slightly and hold your cheek as it stings. He walks over to you, becoming more tentative as you look up at him.

“‘M not dreaming. Are you?”

“No, I’m wide awake, believe me,” he says as he gets closer. “Don’t slap me, either.”

You eye him harshly before handing him the frame.

“Well, it.. Explains why you’re here, at least,” you say, voice quieter than you intended as your thoughts were still reeling. “We’re not just in my future, we’re in-”

“Our future,” he finishes as he stares at the photo himself.

“Yeah.”

“So, our room…” he says more to himself than to you. He makes his way around the room, pulling open drawers and looking in the closet as you stand and head for the bathroom.

You meet yourself in the mirror, sure enough, you still look the same. You’re you.

Walking back out into the room, you head for the window, pulling back the curtain. As you peer out, you’re expecting to see a skyline, or city street, but instead you’re met with the view of an open yard.

You pull away from the window in surprise, “Are we in a house?”

You turn to Bucky, who turns to face you. You both head to the bedroom door, you following behind him as he takes the lead.

It’s a house. Definitely a house.

The bedroom door leads to a long hallway, three doors along the right back wall, another door at the far end opposite your own, and to the left of that, on the left wall, is another room.

In the middle of the hallway is an opening, and you and Bucky turn there without inspecting any of the other rooms.

You find yourselves in a living room, before walking into the kitchen.

“We should look around,” you say in a whisper - why, you aren’t sure.

“What exactly are you planning on finding?” he questions as you pull open a drawer, sifting around.

“I don’t know? More information. Like what we’re doing here. What we do. What year it is. Maybe we learn something and it’ll send us home sooner? I don’t know, just, something,” you answer, on edge already by being surrounded by the unknown and only growing more agitated at his every word.

“Why are you getting mad at me?”

“I’m not getting-,” you stop yourself, taking a breath, “sorry. Okay? I thought you were trying to be a dick,”

“Why do you assume I’m being a dick?” he asks, annoyed himself now.

"Because you always act like a fucking dick!", you nearly yell as you slam the kitchen drawer shut.

"Fucking dick!"

You both freeze at the high, sweet-sounding voice that comes from behind you. Your brows furrow as you glance at Bucky, his reaction to the mirthful echo much the same as yours, before you both slowly turn around.

The sight you're met with has you both frozen in shock.

A set of twin toddlers clad in matching pajamas, both of whom bear a striking resemblance to you and Bucky, are staring at you both.

You can't explain why, but your heart is gripped by the mere sight of them. It's something more than just their cuteness, it's something instinctual. How it's possible, you're not sure, but you know, somehow, that they're really yours. Future or not, those are absolutely your kids.

It seems with each passing moment, you and Bucky are left more and more stunned by how your future is turning out, but as you notice the little boy's eyes watering and the pout on his little lips as he looks right at you, you can't seem to care about anything else.

“Hey, buddy,” you squat down and hold your arms open for him, and he waddles to you right away as his eyes well more and more. He hugs you, still pouting as he cuddles into your chest and you hold him tightly as you stand, exchanging another glance with Bucky who looks nearly stupefied until the soft voice of the girl rings out once again.

Your eyes shoot to her as she twirls around clumsily, a chant of "fucking dick" leaving her lips over and over before she starts to tilt, seemingly having made herself dizzy. You're about to gasp, moving forward instinctually as you watch her wobble a bit more, but she's in Bucky's arms in an instant as he grabs her before she falls.

"Woah, there, sweetheart," he says with a small laugh as she dramatically goes limp in his arms. An exhausted breath leaves her little lungs as she breathes out the repetition one final time. She then lifts her tiny hand up to Bucky’s cheek, effectively slapping him as she plants it, blinking up at him. “What’s this?” she asks him curiously as she smooshes his face, feeling his stubble.

“Uhh…It’s hair. I haven’t shaved - Ow,” he exaggerates when she interrupts him and pats his cheek again, a bit harder this time, though you know it didn’t hurt him in the slightest. It makes the girl laugh, though.

“You should shave, Daddy,” she advises, pulling a face.

Her words pull a breathless laugh from him as he gazes down at the small girl, a lump forming in his throat as he takes everything in. He feels crazy, but he can see you in her, and he can see himself, too. Her and her brother, they both look like the perfect little combinations of the two of you. And they’re both so comfortable with you guys. So at ease and uninhibited, just like children should be..

It’s a stark contrast to how he grew up and he can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment, of pride, knowing that he isn’t repeating the cycle he swore would die with him.

He’d stopped letting his mind wander to what if futures long ago, but when he did imagine what it’d be like to have a family of his own, this is the kind of peace he longed for. The happy, settled down future he was sure he’d never have.

And you.

Your hand has been mindlessly rubbing the boy's back in an effort to comfort him as he cuddles into you, that never faltering pout pulling every string your heart has as Bucky attends to the girl relaxing in his arms.

"Linc's sad, Mommy," the girl says, pointing at her brother. The title has you swallowing hard, your heart clenching at how sweetly she calls to you.

Linc?... Must've been Bucky, you think briefly before you gently pull him away from you slightly so you can see him better, his bleary blue eyes peering up at you.

"Why are you yelling at Daddy?" he pouts still. Your brows furrow and mouth parts on an inhale, as if you're going to answer him, but nothing comes out as you try and think of what you can say. His innocent question stumping you.

"It's alright, pal, we were just kiddin' around," Bucky offers as he gets closer to you both. You look at him, a bit guilty but thankful for the save.

"Can we have pancakes, Daddy?" the girl asks as she wriggles around like a worm in his hold.

"Pancakes! Please!" Linc smiles as he continues hanging onto you, seemingly happy with Bucky's defense of you - any qualms he had long forgotten as he’s now focused on the mention of pancakes for breakfast.

"Sure," you answer for him, acquiescing easily with a smile before looking to Bucky with wide eyes.

You’re not entirely sure how exactly this all happens, but somehow you end up married with two kids. As shocking as it is, and as confused as you are about how, a part of you is grateful - maybe even happy - that Bucky is here. He may be an ass a lot of the time, overbearing and micromanaging your every move, but you guys have been through hell and back together. Partners from the very start of your time as an Avenger. If you’re being honest, this future makes more sense than you previously wanted to admit.

In an attempt to not freak out the twins, you know you have to play the part. Act like nothing is out of the ordinary and that you are indeed their mom. You are, technically, but you don’t have any idea what the hell you’re doing or what’s wholly needed of you. You’ve nannyed before, though. You know the basics..

"Have we brushed our teeth yet?" you ask the twins, sure the answer is a "no". Your and Bucky's arguing clearly is what woke them up, the yelling must have led them out here from their room.. Rooms?

"Mhm," the girl hums, though just from looking at her, the lie is evident as she avoids looking directly at you.

"Don't lie, Ellie," her brother chastises.

Ellie.. That must've been me, you think with a twitch of a smile before you set Linc down.

"Alright, go with Buc- your dad, and I'll start on the pancakes," you instruct before the twins burst out in giggles. You frown, brows furrowing as you watch them, hoping they'll let you know what exactly is so funny.

"No, we want daddy's pancakes, Mommy!"

"With chocolate chips and syrup!"

"Yeah, they want Daddy's pancakes, Mommy," Bucky taunts with a smirk as you shoot him an annoyed look. He seems a lot more comfortable now than he was a few minutes ago, and you can’t help but notice how easily he seems to be taking this; easing into his role in this place and time. He’s good.

"What's wrong with my pancakes?" you press the toddlers.

"Daddy's are better, but it's okay, your grilled cheese is the best,"

"Yeah! Oh, can we have grilled cheese for lunch, Mommy? Please, please, pleeease," Ellie begs cutely, leaning to you while still in Bucky's hold.

You huff a laugh, agreeing as Bucky sets Ellie down to follow you.

"See if you can find anything," you tell him as you meet his eye before following after the tikes pulling on your hands.

"Don't forget the chocolate, Daddy!"

Bucky watches as you're led to the bathroom before he starts moving around the kitchen. He's about to start looking around for more information on when exactly you are, and the kind of life you’re living, but thinks better of it for now. He'd rather not have two toddlers throw a fit over unfinished pancakes on top of everything else he's trying to wrap his head around at the moment.

He finds the pantry and grabs all the ingredients he needs for his mom's pancake recipe - the one he knows by heart- and gets to work on the batter. The chatter from the kids and you in the bathroom floats into the kitchen and he can’t help but smile at the sound of your voice as you talk to them.

He soon loses himself in the simplicity of the task at hand, and how nice it is to be here like this. He's in pajamas on a Saturday morning, making breakfast for his family as they start their day..

Seems entirely unreal, but a dream nonetheless. And as if that wasn’t enough to have his thoughts in a flurry, he still can't shake the feeling of how nice it was waking up with your soft body pressed against his. Opening his eyes to discover the warmth beside him was you. He was confused at first, wondering when and how you’d gotten into his room, but more so concerned about the why. He watched you for a minute before he noticed the bedding draped over the both of you. It wasn’t his and when he looked around the room, he realized he had no idea where you guys were. You were wrapped around him as you laid together in the comfy king bed, and it took him a second to try to wake you up. He knew he had to, of course, but if he was honest, he didn’t want the feeling to end. Your hold on him was comforting and he was completely at ease in your embrace, circumstances be damned. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in ages.

Though, that wasn’t entirely true. He remembers the last time he felt that way, and of course it was with you. You were stuck in a shoddy motel off the highway during a storm, the crappy jeep you’d been traveling in finally gave out half way through your drive back to the compound and you guys had no choice but to crash for the night. Of course the motel only had one singular room available with one singular bed. After some back and forth, you both decided you’d just share. It was big enough for the two of you, with space in between. When Bucky woke up that next morning, though, he found himself holding you tightly from behind, your arms wrapped over his as you slept peacefully in his embrace. He remembers the heat that crept up his neck and the flurry in his stomach that he still refuses to acknowledge as butterflies. He quickly loosened his hold and slipped away from you before you could even bat an eye. You were still none the wiser. He thought about that morning a lot after it happened.

He wondered what would’ve happened if you had woken up, too. What you would’ve said, what he could’ve said to you if he’d finally gotten out of his own way..

He can’t dwell on it anymore, though. He hasn’t. He won’t.

Except maybe he does.

And seeing as this is your future together, he thinks maybe that’s not as hopelessly embarrassing as he’s made himself believe it is.

And god, the sight of those kids. The warmth that bloomed in his chest as he took in their faces, he honestly was worried he would start crying if he stared too long. He had long given up on the idea of starting a family, he didn't think this life would ever be in the cards for him, and especially not with you.

But as he stood pouring chocolate chip pancake batter into a sizzling pan, he was struck by how right it felt.

Obviously, it wasn't right, neither of you should be here right now, and it made him wonder where exactly the future you and him were.

As soon as the thought went through his head, a tablet he hadn’t taken notice of on the back counter dinged.

He flipped the pancakes before he went to get the pad, taking the tablet in his hands. His face unlocked the device easily and opened up to his email account.

He clicked on the new, unread message from.. you?

—-

Hey Bucky.

Wanda says this is unnecessary but if I know me, I’m still probably freaking out internally. So, just letting you know that everything's fine. Or so she says.

We're gonna be back to our respective places in time come tomorrow.

I know waking up in the future - especially our future - may be hard to wrap your heads around, but it’s a hell of a lot better than waking up alone to a preening Wanda staring at you, trust me.

And you guys aren’t as oblivious as you try to be. You know, deep down, exactly why you’re there. Together. - and why it isn’t all that crazy.

And this goes without saying, but obviously, take care of the kids. Eleanor and Lincoln. If you haven’t found them yet, they’ll find you, I’m sure.

Today at 2pm, you need to drop them off at 7314 Wisteria Drive. That's Steve and Nat's house - so don't make it weird. They're keeping the kids so we can celebrate our anniversary.

Funny how that lines up..

So, anyway, apparently all we need to do on both ends is enjoy the 24 hour downtime. We’ll be waking up in our own beds before we know it.

Okay.

Bye.

(I’d say I love you but I don’t wanna freak you out. x)

—

Bucky just stares down at the email blankly while his brain tries to catch up. He's gonna have to have you read it yourself. Before he can fixate on that last line in particular, he can smell the browning of the pancakes.

His attention quickly returns to the food as he starts to plate it, shutting off the burner. The kiddie plates he finds in a cabinet earn a half smile from him as he cuts up the pancakes for the kids and spots their booster seats, placing the plates before them.

He hears them before he sees them as they come down the hallway, all laughs.

You appear just after they do, a look on your face he can't turn away from. Your soft smile and the adoration swimming in your eyes as you watch your kids, both of them waiting to be lifted up to sit down, is.. beautiful.

He catches himself staring before he turns his focus back to the table, lifting Eleanor into her seat before lifting Lincoln in his, earning a "thank you, daddy," from each of them in return, a wave of astonishment and pride coming over him yet again. He’s not sure if he’ll ever get used to that.

You listen as they talk back and forth about their pancakes and their laughter when they start playing with one another as they eat their lightly syruped bites.

You stand by Bucky, absentmindedly grabbing a pancake and biting into it, stopping almost immediately as the fluffiness catches you off guard. God, they were so right. These are amazing.

"Good, right?" Bucky's voice pulls you back as you swallow your bite.

You lick your lip before looking over at him. "Did you find anything?"

He hands you the tablet and watches as you read the email.

You click your tongue, and then stay silent for a minute.

He almost can’t believe it when you do it, looking at you incredulously once again after you suddenly slap yourself in the face once more.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he bites quietly, moving to stand in front of you and blocking your view of the kids momentarily.

"Just had to make sure," you reply, again cringing at the stinging of your cheek. You eye him before making a move to slap him, too, but he grabs your hand before you can make contact. He looks at you like you're insane as you huff again. "So this is..."

"This is real," he finishes for you. "That hard to believe, huh?"

"That's an understatement. So, I’m not dreaming. But are you sure you’re not dreaming?"

“You think my dreams involve waking up in the future with no memory of what’s gone on between me going to sleep to waking up? That’s a literal nightmare for me. Plus, I learned a while ago how to differentiate between my dreams and reality. Trust me, we’re not dreaming.”

You swallow thickly, an apology on the tip of your tongue. You hadn’t considered that before. Before you can voice your thoughts, though, you're distracted by the interaction between the kids at the table.

"Linc, I'll give you a piece and then you give me one of your piece, okay?"

"You take this one," Linc says as he gives his sister a piece off of his plate and she gives him a piece off of her's.

You can't help but chuckle at the exchange.

"We make cute kids, though," Bucky says, almost under his breath. But you still hear him, and you respond before your brain catches your tongue.

"Yeah, we do."

You push off the counter as Bucky watches you, surprised that you heard him and even more so by your agreement, though it'd be impossible for anyone to argue that your kids aren’t, in fact, ridiculously adorable.

"Do you guys want -"

"Orange juice, please!" Ellie answers before you even finish asking.

"And water, please," Linc follows.

"OJ and water, you got it."

----

You and Bucky get the kids ready to go to Steve and Nat's with minimal arguing... until you had to pack their bags.

What they should or shouldn't take with them was a point of contention as you ridiculed each other's choices. After your bickering and some input from Ellie and Linc, you guys just hoped they had everything they needed. You'd unnecessarily packed them three outfits each just in case of spills or messes and their diaper bag was loaded full, too. Maybe too much for one day, but better safe than sorry, right?

After loading the twins in the car, Bucky followed the GPS to the address you'd left in the email.

When you guys pulled up to the house, you were greeted by Natasha who was unloading groceries from her car. The domestic scene warmed your heart. She deserved the simplicity, the normalcy, and you were happy to know that one day, she’d have it.

She lit up as she saw you guys approaching and came right over, going straight for the back door.

Linc and Ellie were all smiles and giggles as they tried fruitlessly to escape their car seats in favor of being in Nat's arms.

"Bugs!!" Nat greeted them with an enthusiastic smile as she started working on their belts. "I've missed you guys so much! How long has it been? Ten years?"

They laughed in unison at her before Ellie corrected her. "Yesterday, Aunt Nattie!"

"Yesterday?" she questioned in faux disbelief.

She wasn't able to keep up the play, though as the second they were out of their seats, they nearly tackled her.

You watched Steve come outside, coming up to the car with a grin, a girl no more than ten and another toddler, maybe a little older than the twins, in tow.

"Get them inside for me, honey," Nat said to the oldest one. She looked nothing like either of them, dark hair and dark eyes, but still it was clear she was their daughter. The younger one looked like Steve, though, and you wonder briefly if that was just by chance or if they’d had a surrogate. Natasha had talked about the possibility before, and of adopting, but starting a family wasn’t something any of you were actually considering at the time, settling down and having kids wasn't really your focus when you were all trying to make sure the world wouldn’t be ending tomorrow. "We'll be right in. And pick a movie for the sleepover before your Dad does," she pretended to whisper, earning a laugh from the girl as she corralled the kids up the porch.

Nat turned her gaze back on you and Bucky, her stare nothing less than scrutinizing.

"Are you guys in pajamas?" she asked with a raised brow.

"Mh, uh, yeah," you laughed a little breathlessly before looking back at the house, distracted. "They didn't even say bye," you said in your disappointment. You'd only just met the kids, but you felt so instantly connected to them.

"Don't worry about them, they're gonna have fun tonight. And so are you two," she says pointedly, if not a bit suggestively, pulling you from your thoughts. You feel the heat that creeps up your skin and refuse to look at Bucky.

"What are you guys doin' tonight, did you decide?" Steve asks.

"Staying in," Bucky blurts out as you blink and smile. But their faces at that, their smirks of acknowledgement make you grow hotter as you try to not let your embarrassment show.

"Mhm," you hum tight lipped.

It's quiet for a moment as you all watch one another before Steve breaks the silence.

"You guys are acting weird."

"Are we?" you question back too quickly.

"Yeah. You are," Nat says.

"Sugar," Bucky blurts out again. "They're loaded up on sugar. Sorry, they really wanted pancakes this morning. But uh, look, thanks for watching them. We should uh, get going, so.."

"Yeah, we should go," you agree. "What time do you want us to pick them up?"

"We're dropping them off tomorrow afternoon, right?" Steve questioned. "Or did you not want them to go with us?"

"No, oh, right. Duh! I just forgot - that's what we talked about. Because you're taking them to.." you trail off, prompting them.

"The gardens?" Nat finishes.

"Right, yes, the gardens. Which is great. And we appreciate it so much. And if you need anything or anything happens, ya know just call us," you continue on as Bucky starts to pull away. You fight the urge you have to glare at him until you finish your awkward goodbye and Steve and Nat watch you both drive off, clearly confused about the weird interaction.

"Did you miss the part of the email where it explicitly said: don't make it weird?" Bucky asks.

"Fuck off, you were no better," you scowl as you slump in the seat. "What now?"

[smoothriverrocksrock]

First of all, I love your DeceptiBee au. That's all I needed to lift my spirits.

I imagine Bee going to Megatron and asking him to let him go to Iacon to meet with Orion and Elita, because of some celebratory party or something and him using the "Elita ordered" card and Megs accepting because you know how she is (and because he wants to see Bee happy)

Perhaps encounters like this will endear Bee to the Autobots and things get more serious when (As you imagined) Bee gets hurt in the middle of the fight and both sides stop to help him

Google tradutor é difícil, sorry😥

Ningún problema!

I actually have this idea, near the end of the story, of Bee convincing Megatron to properly *try* some sort of peace conference with the Autobots/Optimus. It would consist of a lot of planning between Bee and Elita (give or take a few others) to create a neutral zone on the surface outside of Iacon where the Autobots and Decepticons can formerly discuss policies for running Cybertron. Bee mainly wants to get this going so he can reunite his friend group and prevent the civil war from reaching the point-of-no-return. Elita does too, but she also wants to reunite the government with some people who remember what Cybertron was like before Sentinel

Megatron has mixed feelings about doing this. Basically his entire high command wants some sort of complete upheaval and reconstruction of Cybertron to be this militaristic dictatorship (Basically the Primacy before Sentinel, they’re kinda stuck in the past). To put it short, the Decepticons WANT war. Megatron, on the other hand, has gotten really into this Socialism-ish idea he has but doesn’t think Optmius The Prime would agree with. Mainly because it would mean the people have all the power and the Prime would play a much smaller role as a kinda oracle/general priest figure.

Little does Megatron know, Optimus would be totally down for this.

After several shenanigans, Bee and Elita eventually get Autobot and Decepticon high command together in a room.

The Decepticons expected something like a whole council of mini-Sentinels using the new Prime as a puppet king. They get a bunch of young hyperactive ex-miners who take any change at showing off their new T-cog powers.

The Autobots expect some kind of murder-happy caveman gang that D-16 Megatron found in a landfill. They get a bunch of socially-stunted old cunts who keep asking them weird questions like “How old are you?” and “Are you even qualified for you position?”

The Decepticons also keep challenging the Autobots to physical brawls over honor. The Decepticons seem to have underestimated the kind of body strength required to be underestimated miner.

Elita, Starscream, Soundwave, Prowl, and very few others seem to be taking the political side of this meeting seriously. They huddle in a corner coordinating reunion/war. Elita looks like she’s going to tackle Starscream at any given moment.

Meanwhile on the opposite corner, Bee is entirely focused on getting Optimus and Megatron to have a normal social interaction. It’s… not really working. Optmius and Megatron keep referring to things Bee wasn’t around for, and keep doing having silent conversation through looks alone. Bumblebee has to accept in this moment that he’s done all he can, and now it’s up to Megatron / Optimus to sort things out.

For a happy ending, they would! Optimus would eagerly listen to all of Megatron’s ideas, what he’s learned from commanding an army and how to take charge. Megatron would be surprised by how open Optimus is too stepping down as a sole leader, and the strides Optimus has taken to reshaping Iacon. Maybe they haven’t worked things out as friends, but they agree they can set aside differences for Cybertron.

At this moment a bar fight would start between Elita and Starscream, and they’d have to go deal with that.

But I won’t deny that things could go wrong here. Maybe this is the real final straw, and from this meeting on Cybertron begins its decent into ruin. But that kinda story is for someone else to explore! I wanna make my fun divorce resolution :)