#a reminder that we see everything and want people to please be Chill when interacting with each other over characters yall dislike

[bleach-smashorpass]

did I miss the Orihime poll?

There is no Orihime poll. I wasn't able to find adequate panels of her from the last chapter in which she is an adult — similarly, there won't be polls for Ishida or Chad. There's an Ichigo poll because there were enough panels to justify it.

For some context; you might notice that the blog says 'every bleach character' or words to that effect, but actually there've been several characters who have been omitted because they're either a) minors or b) weird edge cases, like Hiyori, who are presumably decades if not centuries old but childlike in appearance.

Originally I wasn't going to bother making such distinctions in the cases of our main characters, and I really did debate over Orihime for a while, but ultimately I didn't want to invite discourse into my life. Apologies!

[newtthetranswriter]

A Trans Soulmate Au

Word count: 2070

Summary: being trans and not understanding it can make having a soulmate very difficult.

Paring: Takashi Mitsuya X Trans!Reader

Warnings: talk of Dysphoria, internalized transphobia, talk of transition, if i missed any please let me know.

A/n: Welcome this one has a bit of angst but it ends happily I promise. I just thought it would be cute if in a soulmate au where your soulmate's name was on your wrist what would happen if you were trans but your soulmate had your birth name on their wrist. So this came to be. This takes place when Mitsuya is twenty so that's the reader's age as well. I tried to write it so anyone can read it whether you’re ftm, mtf or nonbinary, or if you just want to see the inner workings of this trans person's brain. I also want to state this is a rough written interpretation of some of the things I felt before I knew what being Transgender was, it will not cover what everyone feels or what they would feel in this situation. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. Anyway requests are open, and remember to Hydrate or Diedrate. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

Key: D/n means different/dead name, it can be anything but what you like being called I guess.

    I’ve known who my soulmate is for the past three months but haven’t told him yet. You may be thinking, why wouldn’t you tell him if you know he’s your soulmate, is he not a great guy or something? But that couldn’t be farther from the truth, my soulmate is Takashi Mitsuya and he is the sweetest guy to ever live. The problem is me. I don’t feel comfortable with who I am and who people want me to be. I’ve always felt like I’ve been living a lie, masquerading as someone I'm not, and honestly I’m scared to tell people the truth. What’s the problem with admitting your soulmates then, is probably your next question. Well I don't want to see the constant reminder of someone that’s not me on my soulmate's wrist.

    In our lovely world we live in your soulmates first name is written on your wrist from the time you are born. On my wrist in clean lettering is Takashi and I cherish it, but ever since I started noticing my feelings about myself I’ve kept it hidden so my soulmate can’t figure it out, because they shouldn’t be burdened with someone who is broken like me. When I met Mitsuya I was conflicted at first. I knew he was my soulmate because I saw D/n written on his wrist in the same font as mine, and obviously his name matched my wrist. He was so kind that I considered just telling him we are soulmates and dealing with the discomfort of seeing my given name everyday for the rest of my life, but my disdain for who people told me to be won, and I’ve kept it secret since. Or so I thought.

    It was the weekend and there was nothing happening with Toman at the moment so I was hanging out with Mitsuya and Hakkai. We were just chatting, covering topics like what we want to do in the future and how no matter what Hakkai and I will be Mitsuya’s number one supporters when he starts his fashion line. It was just a chill hang out among friends.

    “Seriously Mitsuya, if you need a model for a photoshoot or runway I got your back promise. I mean what are friends for?” I said brushing a strand of hair out of my face, not realizing my bracelets had slid up my arm.

     “D/n’s right, we’ll help in whatever way you need us to Taka.” Hakkai chimed in. “Anyway, other than being a fashion designer, have you thought about looking for your soulmate yet?” He asked Mitsuya to keep attention on him. 

     When the topic of soulmates was brought up I subconsciously rested my hand on my wrist. Feeling my bracelets out of place I quickly shifted them back into position. Hoping that the one person didn’t see the mark and figure everything out. I quickly looked over to Mitsuya and from what I could tell he was still absorbed in his conversation with Hakkai. I sighed in relief before deciding it was probably time for me to go home.

     Standing up, I addressed my two friends. “Well it was nice talking with you guys but I should get going, I have some homework I still need to finish.” I quickly turned not catching the slight frown on Mitsuya’s face. Waving one final goodbye, I left Hakkai’s house and headed on my way.

     I had reached a park a few blocks between my house and the Shiba residence and decided to sit and clear my head. “That was way too close.” I said to myself as I sat on the swings.

     “What was ‘too close’ me almost finding out that you are my soulmate and having been hiding it for who knows how long?” Said the voice of the one person I didn’t want to face right now. “Come on D/n, when were you gonna tell me? Did you just not like that the universe chose me for you to be stuck with for the rest of your life? If that was the case why did you hang around me so much?” He started asking questions.

    Fighting back tears cause I knew where this conversation would go, I tried to argue. “You know that’s not true Takashi. Why would I hide it? I didn’t know, I didn’t want to assume anything.” I lied, trying to play it off as me not knowing for sure.

    He rolled his eyes at that. “Don’t lie about it. You constantly wear bracelets to cover it up, obviously you’re embraced to have my name on your skin. And don’t Takashi me, if you can’t admit we’re soulmates don’t call me that.” He said with a harsh tone he normally saves for assholes he has to beat up.

    “I swear I’m not embraced, it's just easier if you don’t have to deal with me as your soulmate.” I said finally taking the blame even if I knew he wouldn’t believe me.

    “Are you sure? Cause it seems like you’re just making excuses. What did I ever do to make you want to hide that we’re supposed to end up together? If it’s the fact I’m in toman then i’ll leave it, pass on the title of captain of the second division to Hakkai and retire.” He started to sound almost desperate. Like the fact I hid this was hurting him. “Just tell me what I need to do, for you to accept me.” At this point there were faint tears streaming down his face. 

    I froze, Mitsuya never cries, he didn’t even cry when Mana started school. It hurt to see him stand here and offer to leave his friends for me. He loved toman, maybe even more than he loved fashion design and sewing. I couldn’t just sit here and watch him beat himself up over something that was really all my fault, so I broke down completely. 

    “It’s not you Takashi. I love everything about you and I would never ask you to quit Toman, that’s like asking Takemichi to stop crying or asking Mikey to stop riding his bike. The problem was never with you, I hid the fact we are soulmates because I’m broken. I’ve always been broken. I don’t know how to explain it but I just feel like my body is wrong. Like I was born in the wrong one, like a mistake was made. Everytime I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I've tried everything from affirmations, to body positivity exercises but it’s all wrong. I hid the fact we are soulmates because I hate my name. It doesn’t fit, it’s wrong, I don’t know what is right but that there on your arm is not me.” I ranted out, expressing my feelings about myself for the first time out loud. “I could bear going through life hating a part of my soulmate that he can’t change, so I hid my mark and hoped that by some miracle you would find someone else that shared this name and had Takashi written across their wrist even though I know it’s impossible. I don’t want you to have to live with someone who hates themself.” Tears were streaming down my face and I didn't notice Mitsuya moving to hug me.

     “We’ll get through this together. I know your feelings are probably hard to understand and are confusing. I’m not going to pretend like I fully understand, but I will help you through it. We can look for a therapist to help you work through it and understand. We can try anything you want to make you feel more comfortable. If you truly hate the name on my wrist I’ll keep it covered so you don’t have to see it, and you can tell me what you want to be called. You get to pick what I call you so I know you’re comfortable with it.” He said resting his head on mine as silently cried into his chest. “And when you’re ready I will help you tell the gang and if anyone dares to make fun of you or disrespects you they’ll have to answer to me. We’re soulmates for a reason, and I’ll stick with you through everything.”

     I couldn’t help but smile as I pulled away from him only enough to look him in the eyes. “Thank you Takashi. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in the first place.” He just returned my smile, placing a kiss on my forehead. “As for what to call me, I’m not sure yet but I think for now you could just call me soulmate when talking to me. You can call me whatever you want to when talking with others though.” I said, earning a slight chuckle from the lavender haired man holding me.

    “You got it Soulmate, now take off your bracelet and give it to me.” I did as instructed revealing his name written neatly across my wrist. I watched as he smiled at his name before slipping the bracelet on his own wrist covering his own mark. “Now that that’s out of the way, what do you say to going out for some ice cream and maybe a movie?” He asked as he laced his fingers with mine.

    “Sounds fantastic.” I replied excited to start this new journey together.

Timeskip to a few months

     It was a relatively quiet day, I had just spent the morning cleaning up my room and getting ready to go out with Takashi for the day. He was supposed to be here around one and I was so excited to tell him some great news. You see, over the past couple months I found a therapist who helped me figure out that there is a name for my feelings and that’s gender dysphoria, and most people who experience it are Transgender. With the help of my therapist and the support of Takashi, I’ve started my transition. I’ve made some great strides in making peace with my feelings and presenting the way I see myself in my mind. The only thing I had been stuck on was a name. That’s the news I was ready to share with Takashi. I had finally chosen a name.

     Checking the clock, it was about 12 so I decided I should finish getting ready even though there was an hour before Takashi was supposed to get here. As I was picking out my shoes for the day I was interrupted by loud knocking on my front door. Checking the clock again to see it was only 12:15 I was confused, Takashi isn’t supposed to be here for another 45 minutes. Trying to push my concern aside I went to open the door. “Takashi, you're super early.” I said as I swung the door open, being greeted by a very frantic Takashi.

     “Thank god you opened the door, I have to show you something.” Before I could even respond he was pushing into my apartment not even bothering to take off his shoes. “I don’t know how or when this happened but when I was showering I noticed something strange on my wrist and when I looked at it, my mark had changed to this.” He said frantically moving the bracelet that normally covered his soulmark to reveal it had in fact changed.

      I couldn’t help but laugh, my laugh caused a look of shock to cross Takashi’s face. Before he could continue with his mini panic I decided to explain. “It’s ok Takashi. Everything is fine, in fact it’s amazing that your mark changed, it just proves we’re soulmates even more.” He looked confused at my statement. “I finally picked my name, it's Y/n” I said, clarifying what I was getting at.

     The look of confusion melted away into one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on his face. “Oh my god. That’s fantastic Y/n. We have to celebrate.” He said immediately falling into using my new name. Hearing it come from him made me smile more than I already was.

     Having his support through everything has been a blessing, I’m glad my bracelet accidentally fell that day. If it hadn’t I would still be hating myself everyday, but instead I’m learning to love myself and showing everyone that no matter what society says you have to be you don’t have to listen.

[hot-take-tournament]

Omg the reblog person is so real for that. I understand that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm so liking doesn't functionally do anything but I get extremely anxious about reblogging so the guilt trips are really awful for me (and I assume it's the same for others with similar issues.)

Uh- bit of a tangent/rant below. For context I'm an "Audhd-er" (I think that's the term people use, it means I'm autistic and I have ADHD)

I understand most of the time they are over-exaggerating their feelings on the matter. In posts about reblogging stuff from writers and artists it's always kind of a "LIKES DO NOTHING SHOW YOUR LOVE WITH REBLOGS LIKES MEAN NOTHING"

I've always found that a bit odd. As someone with two mutuals (one of whom is rarely online) and 1 normal follower my reblogs really aren't gonna do much so I mostly reblog stuff my mutuals might like and occasionally make my own posts. (Keeping everything else private for the most part) When I get a like it always brings a warm fuzzy feeling because it means someone enjoyed my reblog or post enough to share with me that they liked it.

I've only had one post that breached containment and it was a fun weekend of checking out the blogs of people who liked it! All in all I think maybe people are just unaware of the anxieties that come with being online and the people who experience those anxieties are too anxious to really speak up about it. I mean look at me I'm chilling behind an anon mask rn (I rarely send an off anon ask lol.)

For a website dubbed by its users as the neurodivergent website, some people forget to consider that learning and working within the culture of a social media platform can be extremely stressful for many types of people, let alone an autistic person such as myself (the ADHD doesn't help either). Some of us would prefer to lurk in our private blogs, only coming out of our comfort zone when we feel ok to do so.

All in all, a reminder to reblog is perfectly fine, but please refrain from the guilt-tripping and social obligation type of thing— or at least be aware of it and try not to be offended if one of your mutuals struggles to reblog.

Now this is all my personal perspective, other people will likely have completely different experiences but I wanted to share in case people were confused on why it's an issue for some people. Thanks for reading this whole thing and I hope you have a lovely day <3

I think I get what you're saying -

For a lot of people it genuinely takes a surprising amount of guts to put themselves out there on the internet in any way, even if it's anonymously, and that includes things as simple as reblogging a post.

It's not just Tumblr either. You also see it on Reddit and Twitter, and in online games where people just want to keep to themselves and not interact with strangers. Some people just want to lurk, maybe liking or upvoting, but not commenting or reblogging, because that feels like making yourself more "visible" somehow, in a way simply liking posts doesn't.

It's difficult to put into words, but I feel it's kind of like being in a university lecture with 50+ strangers. Liking is sitting in the back quietly taking notes. Reblogging is like putting your hand up and giving an opinion when the professor asks for one.

It's true that only reblogging actually contributes anything functionally, but there are plenty of people, especially neurodivergent people, who might struggle with that kind of thing, but still want to show some appreciation, or just save it as a bookmark.

So, I think that's partly why that kind of guilt-tripping or threatening reblog bait can be so stressful. Tumblr is a comfort app for a lot of people, who just want to curate their own little private space. Reblog baits are like someone banging on your door, telling you that you're actively doing something wrong by keeping to yourself, and (in the case of "I'll block/unfollow you if you like/read but don't reblog" baits) people will hate you for doing it.

It also implicitly takes away the sense of control you have over your own personal online space. Ideally, you should be able to do whatever you want with your own blog - no one should dictate your own online experience. So, if you just want to reblog things you like or want to share, at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

But reblog baits seem to suggest that you shouldn't have that control, and there are certain things that you have no choice but to put on your blog, and it has to be right now. And I feel that sense of having control suddenly snatched away from you without warning could also be a major source of anxiety for a lot of people who see Tumblr as a source of comfort.

With all that in mind, while I do believe that it's not quite this simple, considering artists and writers, and especially those who rely on commissions, do need exposure from reblogs, I also feel it's difficult to blame people for finding very aggressive reblog baits stressful, especially when you're suddenly blindsided with them.

At least, those are just my initial thoughts based on what you said, but absolutely let me know if you disagree with any of this or feel I misrepresented what you meant <3

[joyswonderland1108]

Koomibruary?

Well hello there Loves 💜 i seem to be officially back (i guess?) well i’m no longer really busy so i guess i have more time for my blog now. Though the first long post i shared was just me ranting but hey, sue me. 

Anygays, i don’t think i have much to say as i’ve been expressing my excitement through dms with my friends so like, i poured the whole energy in there but i thought i would still have my fair share of talk about the koominology that happened the past few days. I mean..

Army : Hel- Jungkook : I need Jimin here right NEOW!! Right this instant! Jimin-ssi come over!  

I mean damn boy okay chill no one is going to kidnap your Jimin-ssi (can’t promise tho wassup) I mean would you look at his face lighting up when he spotted Jimin in the comments

(Credits to Dalto on Twitter for the picture) 

Please that was so fucking adorable felt like opening a Christmas gift. Besides all that i was really happy to see my two babies after a while, hearing from them, seeing them interact with us (Though i won’t say it enough but we really don’t deserve them they’re way too nice considering the shit Army pull towards them) but nonetheless i was happy to see them

Just look at them LOOK!

Now going back to JK’s live precisely the “Chicken live” i know most people were excited about him asking Jimin to come over like second nature (and i was too) but i want to point out at something else, precisely this: 

Now, i don’t even think you need to be Korean or understand Korean to get the point. The way he dropped them honorifics and the tone he used to tell Jimin to take care of himself or well to be healthy, I- FSDHJSDHFDHG!!!!!! My brain stopped braining and i was outside that day i couldn’t even properly scream to the world that THIS was such a boyfriend behavior like.. JEON JUNGKOOK!!!! 

Again, talking about each other on their lives, complimenting each other’s songs, etc.. Okay i see you. With that i wanna talk about some points, well as best as i can i’m really bad at organizing those so if i forgot to mention anything feel free to remind me.

Jimin is busy, JK is not :

From the past contents and their lives we basically understand that Jimin have been really busy preparing to drop his Album now confirmed to be in March rather than February (Someone is getting in trouble for that previous article tho) and well just because we’re assuming that he’s already done with the tracks it doesn’t mean he’s done with everything so understandable, that boy is very busy lately, so far he has been working in silence for a long time but it’s starting to come to the surface now. 

For JK, he already told us back in his Qatar live that he didn’t have any upcoming schedules, he was enjoying his free time, doing his meat tours, maybe spending time with his family, and doing other things 👀. Anygays, he yet again confirmed during his last lives that for now he wasn’t working on his album, that he mostly stays at home, doing nothing, yada yada. 

Why did i even mention the obvious? Well we both know how some people want to discredit their bond so badly that they come up with any kind of excuse for how Jimin and JK are “distant”. Sorry to break it to you Suzan but their schedules are very obviously different and even married people have that issue when the schedules don’t match. 🙄

Jikook won’t be doing lives from home

I guess we’ve all established by now that JK would be doing his lives from Brunnen and Jimin would be doing his lives from the studio. Even before you click on the live notification you already know what to expect, though JK gave us a new background during his last live but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. 

Again for the fools out there who think that JK lives in Brunnen.. I feel bad for you, with that logic Jimin lives in the studio as well. These two are very private and it’s smart of them to be it really, considering how people seem to be unhappy about every other detail about them, i feel like it’s only logic to not want to show not one bit of their actual living spaces. 

Back to back lives

When i asked the Universe for a Jikook live i should’ve been more specific as in, a Jikook live, with both of them physically in the same place, in the same frame Universe-nim!  제발 😭

I’m not complaining tho that is the closest thing to a Jikook live (or selca) we’re getting like.. 

🤷‍♀️

Although it had me wondering do they just play eenie meenie miney mo to decide who goes first or? 

JK’s entourage seem to know Jimin on a different level

Does that even make sense saying it like that? But to explain it better, i’m taking the example of JK’s coach Tommy, when he talked about Hobi yes he of course knows Hobi who doesn’t but he also talked about him as in someone he knows as JK’s best friend and band mate that he saw before maybe once or twice or on rare occasions anyways.

Whereas with Jimin, it’s like coach Tommy is used to seeing Jimin, used to have him there, not just once or twice but on multiple occasions and well considering how Tommy is JK’s coach (unless i’m missing a detail here), it means that Jimin accompanied him many many times before to the point where Jimin is basically friendly with him too. 

Jimin’s reaction or behavior towards JK’s boldness 

Here i meant the difference between last year and this year. Remember how back in beginning of 2022, JK was starting to be a bit bolder about Jimin just really putting it out there that he will keep on holding onto Jimin, that Jimin is his, that he did go see Jimin in his room and hugged, giving him the finger hearts on stage, etc.. And Jimin seemed to be setting some limits to how much was okay to show (I’m not even sure how to put it but i hope my point was clear)

But this year, i mean listen i feel like Jimin just threw the limits out of the window cause while last year he was okay with the forehead “kiss” moment he also shook his head no after JK gave him the heart finger like.. Jimin-ssi, i’m pretty sure JK taking a chunk out of your peach and your foreheads kissing is way bolder than that small gesture but i guess the quota for boldness was over for that day lol 

As i said this year Jimin seems to just go for it, commenting under his baby’s live that he’s cute, that he wants to tie his hair back neatly (don’t get me started on the cute fanarts OMG), calling him baby again, that he wants JK to grow and protect him, etc.. I mean damn i expected everything but this honestly like yes nothing new, just Jikook Jikooking but i didn’t expect it to be so explosive (Not complaining give me more)

Which had me thinking, were they maybe testing the waters back from September? All the cute lil comments Jimin posted about JK and that whole “Army are waiting for an answer 🙄” during the Busan live, i’m just speculating of course but who knows.

I’m just glad that whatever is going on now, means that they don’t give a fuck anymore about what people think and as long as they’re not doing anything that would be scandalous to some people’s eyes, they should be allowed to interact freely without having haters weight on them with their hateful comments and their twisted narratives. 

And as always, haters will hate no matter what

Whether these two interact or not really haters will always find a thing to complain about and find a way to twist shit to fit their own narrative. I mean from my yesterday post you could already tell, a whole ass mistranslation because they can’t accept facts, and are we even surprised that the people defending the “translator” are part of the cult? No not really. 

People will always try to discredit their bond no matter what so they might as well just not give a fuck about them and do what they see as fit for now, i mean if they’re going to stop doing this and that to please a bunch of hateful rats.. I’d rather they virtually flip the bird on us all and do their thing!

I guess that was all i had to say? I don’t know i literally wrote the points i could think about on a bloc note not even sure if i got everything, lemme know if i skipped anything. Take care 💜

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

This is going to get personal, and emotional, so just scroll by if you don't wanna cringe yourself to death.

This may stem partly from the heat exhaustion I endured earlier while fighting with yard work, and also from exhaustion from grappling with my child starting school, and also also with general stress, and.

In short, I very well may be a little delirious. But I haven't said so in a while, and I just want you guys to know the following important information:

I love you all so fckin much.

All of you. Muties that interact regularly or just chill on the sidelines, creative anons in the ask box, lurkers who might be to shy to say anything (I usually fall into that category too so do not feel bad, I understand that people are scary which is why I remain as anonymous as possible myself). I love

Absolutely

All

Of

You.

Like. Every time I see an ask that starts with something like "I hope this is okay" or "If you don't want to answer you don't have to" or, GODS FORBID "Please ignore this if it's a problem," anything like that, I just. Wanna give you the biggest hug ever, and wrap you in a comfy blanket and give you all your favorite snacks and make sure you feel safe and comfortable here.

This blog is my own safe space. I'm the human equivalent of a mouse in reality. People scare tf out of me. If I could, I'd happily live in a remote cabin in the middle of the wilderness with a few pets and never have any further face-to-face interaction with other humans again, with the sole exception of my child and one of my nieces. I second guess every single word that comes out of my mouth, even around people I love and care about and would frankly die for. I just. Am not good at people-ing.

My identity here as an unknowable horror isn't just to be silly. I really have a lot of trouble identifying with anyone else, and I legitimately feel like an alien or a monster most of the time.

I second guess everything I post here, no matter how much I try not to. No matter how much I remind myself that it's not important what other people think, and that their opinions have no bearing at all on my day-to-day life.

So maybe it's a little hypocritical of me to say that none of you have any reason to worry about asking or commenting anything, when I spend ninety percent of my own time worrying about everything, including made-up problems that haven't even happened yet and likely never will.

But I really, really do not want you guys to ever worry, or ever feel like you have to apologize, or ever second-guess anything here.

If the world scares you as much as it scares me, and you need somewhere that you can be unapologetically yourself without any judgment, then you are both welcomed and encouraged to do just that here, while I try to do the same thing myself.

This stems a lot from my mom. I lost her when I was sixteen. She had a brain aneurysm and passed away very unexpectely. She picked me up from school, we had dinner together, and a few hours later she was gone. It's incredibly hard for me to talk about her, but I need to mention her here, because she was always my safe space.

She was the one who made me who I am. She had trouble identifying with other people. The few close friends she had were lifelong friends. She was a lot more fierce than I am, a lot more capable of standing up for herself, but she was always kind. Always understanding. She never judged anyone. She always considered others' feelings, others' backgrounds. She hated organized religion with a passion, but she never belittled anyone for their own personal beliefs. She never got to go to college like she wanted to, but she was the wisest person I've ever known. If I could give one reason why, it would be this:

She always treated everyone the same.

Age, religion, place of origin, skin color, likes, interests, it didn't matter. She treated everyone the same. With kindness, with respect, with humor, with love. Everyone. Always.

I'm not saying she had no flaws. She was a force to be reckoned with when she was angry. Her and my older brother had some fights that I'll never forget for sure. She broke down when her own mother died and lost a lot of hope for a while. I was thirteen at the time, and her mom, my Nana, was just as much a pillar of strength for me, and we leaned on each other to get through it.

I really never had any major fights with her that I can remember. I never felt like she was trying too hard to be cool as I got older, she was just naturally cool. I was never, ever ashamed of her. Me and my old best friends went to our first concert with her, and they still talk about how cool she was. How they felt more at ease talking to her about their problems than their own family.

Like I said, this was going to get personal.

But the point to all this, is I want to be there for all of you in the same way that she was there for me, for my brother, for my friends. I want all of you to feel at ease here, even if you don't feel at ease anywhere else. I want you to know that you can always be yourself here.

You can be unapologetically, shamelessly, proudly you.

The most important thing my mom ever taught me is that everyone deserves to have somewhere they feel safe and loved and wanted. I doubt she ever said it in those exact words, but she spent her entire life proving it to me.

So whatever your case, if you need somewhere to be yourself, then you will always be welcome here. You don't have to apologize for it. You don't have to feel bad about it. The only thing you should feel here is safety.

And love. Because I love you. All of you.

If you ever feel like no one else does, then at least rest assured that I do.

Even if we've never spoken, I still love you. Even if you've never felt like anyone loves you, I promise that I love you.

When I say I hate humanity, it's largely because there's such an overwhelming amount of hate among us. It's really the hate itself that I hate. But you, as an individual reading this, no matter how much or how little hate you have in you, I still love you.

Everyone deserves love, and if it's the only thing that I have to give, then I'm going to give it.

[emometalhead]

OH MY GOD DO I HAVE SQUID GAME THOUGHTS

gi hun and front man??? doomed gay nerds from the start. I love them but they will make eachother worse

HYUN JU MY BADASS MARINE QUEEN!!!!!! literally she’s my favorite character. I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs and whatever else she has going on. I aspire to be her. I want her to be my older sister. if (after sae-byeok it feels more like WHEN bc they love killing fan favs) she dies I will be devastated.

season 1 had the better crazy lady because the shaman had NO redeeming qualities

the potato sack type race was interesting mainly because it made me feel bad for that one guy who kept missing the big stone :( it kinda reminded me of the saw 8 shotgun carousel for some reason??? idk just on vibes

gi hun. please. use your brain. your gay lover who you have trauma bonded (?) with is the frontman. never trust player one I thought we established this.

and a question for you because you’re always right: what do you think the next games are??? I’ve heard human chess and monkey bars based on the paintings in the big room with all the beds, and a lot of people are saying the game with the two dolls will be jack and jill?? and someone also suggested like trolley problems based on that railway crossing thing I guess. anyways any and all thoughts appreciated!!!

Hi!!! I am so excited to talk about this!!!!!!!!! I'm going to follow suit and do coordinating bullet points!!

• Gi-hun and the Front Man. OH MY GOD. Toxic and doomed. I'm obsessed with the dynamic. The Front Man is so unhinged. Him straight up killing that guy with his bare hands to save Jung-bae during the carousel game just to murder him in front of Gi-hun was crazy!!! I actually gasped. I wasn't expecting Jung-bae to make it through the show, but it was still a bit chilling for him to die in the way he did. The Front Man slipped back into his role so easily. The dude is frightening. That being said, I am so eager to see more of his interactions with Gi-hun in season 3! I totally agree that they are making each other worse, but I am living for that toxicity.

I need to know what's going to happen if/when the Front Man reveals his identity. I'm really dying to see more from the Front Man. Also Gi-hun is very single-mindedly focused, and I'm curious to see if it will ultimately be to his detriment. I hadn't expected him to coordinate the seize/attack in that manner, and I truly don't know how to predict where things will go from here. The Front Man definitely has an interest/investment in Gi-hun, but I can't determine if/how that will work to his advantage.

• Hyun-ju!!!!!!! QUEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! She is everything!!! The way she stepped up and took charge when the contestants agreed to fight back against the people running the game was so bad***. Her interactions with Young-mi were precious, and Young-mi's death broke my heart!! Also the change in relationship between Hyun-ju and Geum-ja was sweet. Geum-ja went from not understanding to taking care of her. Her reaffirming Hyun-ju's womanhood and inviting her into the bathroom and her stopping Hyun-ju from picking up the guns again at the end were both very sweet, maternally protective moments.

Hyun-ju is so damn cool and impressive. I am rooting for her survival. (Sae-byeok's death hurt so much!! I can't handle this again!!) I'm going to be so upset if she dies. I really really hope she makes it through. If not, you and I can both riot together.

• I hated the shaman!! She's so annoying!! I was lowkey hoping she would die, because I was tired of everyone having to deal with her 😭. I watched the show with my parents and brother, and none of us liked her at all.

• I felt so bad for the guy who kept missing the stone!! That game had me so stressed! Like with Red Light, Green Light, I wasn't overly stressed for the most part since I had a basis for what to expect. That obviously went out the window for the other games!

I had to look up the Saw 8 shotgun carousel. (I know, I'm sorry, but I haven't seen any of the Saw movies.) That was an intense watch! I can kind of get why you felt similar vibes with it. Since everyone in the group had a game to play, their inaction could lead to multiple deaths. Also there's a similarity in being stuck in a game even after seeing others in your situation die.

• Literally!! Gi-hun. Listen to me, man. Do not allow your attachment to 001 and your perceived knowledge of his death blind you. Do not allow this to deter you from your mission of ending these games. The Front Man can't be trusted. Even if the gay trauma bonding has been intense, the dude is the Big Bad you're looking for. I am already on the edge of my seat for season three.

As far as what I think the next games will be, I have no clue. I honestly haven't put any thought into it. I hadn't even taken a second to consider it until reading this ask yesterday night. I think I need to look back on the hints we've been given, and I'll have to really put thought to it. That being said, I definitely couldn't have predicted the games we saw in season two, so I don't feel very confident making predictions about it.

Additional thoughts:

• My heart was breaking for Dae-ho in the last episode. He had tried to be so helpful to everyone throughout the season, and then he was clearly unprepared and overwhelmed for the armed conflict. I was so stressed watching his breakdown/PTSD flashback. I've seen people online very harshly criticize his character for not delivering the ammo, but I am sympathetic to the context of his inability to complete the task. Also he very clearly respected and cared for Jung-bae, and I'm already sad thinking about how it will go over when Dae-ho learns of his death.

• Min-su pissed me off. Se-mi was so kind to him, and he totally betrayed her. I know he fought back when she was attacked, but he did not treat her with the same care or respect that she showed him.

• I'm extremely nervous for Jun-hee. I really hope she's able to make it out. Her plotline is really tragic. Like her deadbeat baby daddy scammed her and then let her believe he was dead!!!!! For her sake, I hope he makes it out too, because by the end when she stopped him from joining the fight it's clear she wants him safe. But like bruh. He better step up and help her out.

Some random things:

• Idk if you watched it dubbed or subbed, but I watched it dubbed. (Subtitles aren't accessible for everyone in my family.) I had no clue until yesterday when my dad mentioned it that Thanos was sometimes speaking in English! I found a compilation on Twitter, but I had no clue while watching! Also like we thought it was odd for him to say "señorita" a couple times, but it makes sense now knowing he was literally just randomly using other languages. Also it's kind of funny that most of the times when he spoke in English, he was cussing.

• All of that being said, he was annoying lol. I kept calling him and Nam-gyu "the drug guy and the other drug guy". I typically used everyone's name, but they pissed me off so they got nicknames lol.

• My brother and I also kept calling the Salesman "the insane guy" which I feel like is self explanatory lol. He was so unhinged, and I could not look away.

Final thoughts to round this out!! I feel like there's things I'm forgetting to say, so I will send you an ask if I remember anything else. I think I have more feelings than actual coherent thoughts about it all, so I tried my best to articulate my opinions instead of just screaming here lol. I'm also like really considering rewatching season one. I didn't do so before starting season two, and I definitely felt out of the loop during the first episode. Plus, it's just so good. Idk when I'll have time to rewatch it, but I definitely want to do so before season three comes out.

If you have any other thoughts or feelings, please feel free to drop by anytime!! I love hearing what you have to say, and it is so fun any time we have a shared media interest to scream about together.

[meowmeow-motherfucker]

Covenant- Chapter 4

Summary: With the five year anniversary of the attack on New York approaching, Odin and Fury come to the agreement that an arranged marriage between Asgard and Earth would show good faith toward all future interactions. When Odin refuses Jane’s candidacy, Agent Coulson is tasked with finding a suitable wife for the prince of Asgard.

Pairing: Loki x OFC

Taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @gigglingtiggerv2 @icytrickster17 @mysteriouslyfriedjellyfish @lokislilkitten @justjoanne242 @amlocked @ddmariegirl @mags-04-blog @sharris8 @meepycheep @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @the-fantasy-loving-angel @jaidenhawke @smolvenger

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! Thanks for coming along on this journey with me! Buckle up gang :D

28 days until the wedding

Ragna woke Claire far too early, when the sun was barely up. Didn’t people sleep in here? She wasn’t in a great mood from yesterday’s events, but hopefully today would be better.

Claire let herself be wrangled into a warm dress and riding boots. She thought it was an odd combo, but it was an improvement over the dress and corset from yesterday, so she put up little resistance. She dozed off while her hair was brushed, jerking awake when she snored loudly. Claire and her ladies shared a laugh at her expense, and Claire did her best to wake herself up with a splash of cold water before she had to leave.

When Ragna led her outside of the palace and a large paddock with horses came into view, the outfit began to make sense. The sprawling stable stood tall and dark before the high mountains and rolling fog in the distance.

“Good morning, dear,” Frigga greeted her as she entered the stable. “I trust you slept well.” She gave a small smile when Claire yawned.

“I did…” Claire replied as she rubbed her arms against the chill of the morning air. “So well that I want to sleep some more.”

“It’s a short lesson today, dear.” Frigga patted her on the arm as Loki entered the stable.

“Yesterday was meant to be a short lesson; look how that turned out,” he said sharply, glancing at Claire meaningfully. Claire rolled her eyes, annoyed by the reminder of their disastrous encounter the day before. Claire would never claim to be a skilled dancer, but somehow next to Loki’s graceful movements she’d looked like a newborn fawn, and he’d yet to let her forget it. “Good morning Mother.”

“Good morning Loki. Perhaps things would go more smoothly if one kept his temper in check?” Frigga suggested.

“Yeah, what she said.” Claire smirked. Loki scoffed, burning her with an ireful glare.

“It’s rather rude to interrupt conversations.” He scolded her.

“And it’s too early for you to be an ass.” Claire countered.

“Agreed,” Frigga said curtly. “I know how much you adore sniping with your intended, Loki, but I’m afraid I’ll be giving you little time for that today. We shall practice for the parade as quickly as possible and Loki and I must see the tailor immediately after.”

“Can’t wait.” Loki supplied sarcastically, smiling at Frigga cheekily when she glowered at him.

“Lady Claire, have you ever ridden before?” Frigga asked, pointedly ignoring her son’s good-natured attempt to make her smile. Claire shook her head.

“Only once when I was a kid,” She said. “I’ve avoided it ever since.”

“Wonderful,” Loki threw his hands up in aggravation. “Best inform the tailor, Mother, we’ll be here until nightfall.”

“Hush,” Frigga scolded Loki. “She doesn’t have to become an expert, she merely needs to learn what’s necessary for the parade. Everything else can come later.” She led them outside to the paddock, where a stable hand stood waiting for them. A horse the color of butterscotch pudding grazed at the far end of the enclosure, her flanks bespeckled with white splotches.

The stable hand bowed in greeting before trotting off to collect the horse. The horse whinnied, tossing its massive head about in agitation as the stable hand put the reins in place. The man spoke to the horse in a low voice as it stamped its powerful hooves, teasing it toward them with a few clicks of his tongue.

“Is now a bad time to mention I don’t like horses?” Claire asked, eyeing the incredibly tall horse being walked toward them warily. The horses long thin legs seemed to stretch on for miles, its silver mane whipping about as it shook its head.

“It’s just a mare,” Loki replied. “Barely ten hands high.”

“Yeah but see, the ground is safe. The ground can’t kill me.”

“That’s not very encouraging to the ground. It certainly could if it tried-”

“Loki-”

“Well it could,” Loki argued when Frigga chastised him. “Earthquakes, mudslides...it’s not entirely outside the realm of possibility. After all, mortals are exceedingly fragile.”

“Yeah but there are warning signs for those things. I’d be able to avoid them. A horse can just decide to kick you and in the next second you’re dead.”

“Then don’t antagonize the horse.” Claire rolled her eyes at Loki’s patronizing advice.

“Right, because it’s that simple.”

“It is, remarkably,” Loki replied as the stable hand reached them with the horse. “It gets easier with practice.”

“How long have you been riding?”

“Since I could walk, of course,” Loki said pompously. “Did you not have opportunity on Midgard?”

“My mom sent me to horse camp when I was twelve,” Claire replied, watching with trepidation as a stable hand brought the horse meant for her closer. “My horse threw me.”

“Embla is one of our more docile horses, she will do fine for your first time,” Frigga stepped between them to take the reins from the stable hand. “She will take her cues from you. Like in all things, you must be calm and confident. Come, say hello. She will not bite.”

“Are you sure about that?” Claire asked nervously as Embla chomped at the bit in her mouth. The butterscotch colored horse fixed its beady eyes on Claire and whuffled, and Claire pulled her hand back for fear of losing a finger.

“There is nothing to fear. Embla is curious, nothing more.”

“Okay, sure. What do I do?”

“Offer out your hand, just like that, so she may smell you,” Frigga coached. Embla whuffled at Claire’s hand, her soft lips tickling her skin. “Excellent. Now you may pet her, let her get comfortable with you.” Frigga encouraged. Still fearing she may lose her hand, Claire palmed the horses nose, the buttery soft skin warm and twitching with what Claire hoped was excitement. Claire stroked the horses muzzle, pulling back abruptly when Embla protested. A mighty hoof stomped the ground and Embla whinnied again, louder than the last time.

“What did I do?” Claire asked anxiously.

“She wants a treat,” Loki grinned. “She always does, don’t you?” he said smoothly, producing an apple as he stepped toward the horse. Smelling the treat, Embla began rooting for it, taking the apple from Loki’s outstretched hand with great big yellow teeth. Claire watched the horse chew the entire apple as Loki stroked her muzzle fondly. “She’s quite happy now. You can mount her.”

“I can what now?”

“Place your foot in the stirrup, my lady,” the stable hand said from beside Claire, his hands stroking Embla’s flank beside the saddle he’d just cinched into place. “Then step up, and swing your leg to the other side.”

“Right, sure,” Claire said with a confidence she didn’t feel. “Easy peasy. If Annie Oakley can do it, I can do it.” she muttered, her knees feeling wobbly as she grabbed the horn of the saddle. “Wait, are there cowboys here?”

“What?”

“You know, herd cattle, train horses...what else do cowboys even do?” Claire trailed off. Instead of answering her question, Loki stepped around the horse before grabbing her by the waist and lifting her onto the horse, setting her gently in the saddle.

“Was that so difficult?” he asked.

“I could have done it myself!” Claire argued.

“Is that so?” Loki asked dryly. “Ragnarok would likely have come and gone before you did.”

“Which is supposedly your fault, so…technically, you not letting me do things at MY pace is kind of speeding up the process of the whole universe exploding. So thanks for that.”

“Only the best for you, darling.” Loki said sarcastically.

“Aw, you shouldn’t have!” Claire gasped theatrically, bringing her hand to her chest. “If you keep lavishing me with such gifts I might think you actually like me.”

“Well we certainly can’t have that.” Loki sighed. He smacked the horse’s behind, making her rear up and take off at a gallop. Claire screamed and lunged forward, hugging the horse’s neck for dear life as it sped off. Embla raced toward the paddock fence, Claire bouncing with every pound of her hooves, and Claire suddenly began to worry Embla was going to jump the fence and take off with her. What if she fell off and broke her neck? What if it trampled her? She’d probably never walk again. She didn’t remember the last time she’d been this scared.

“Oh my god, stop, stop, stop!” she begged the horse, hugging the horse with her entire body when it reared back and came to a sudden stop.

“It’s alright, my lady, you can let go,” the stable hand who’d brought out the horse must have stopped the horse somehow. “I’ve got the reins now.” he assured her. Embla stomped her deadly hoof impatiently, as if to say ‘Get off me already!’

Claire looked around frantically, heart pounding in her throat as she realized the horse was indeed back under control.

“How do I get down?” she asked quietly, afraid to be too loud and spook the horse. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Swing your leg over, my lady, I will catch you,” the stable hand said. “You’re perfectly safe.”

“Okay,” Claire forced herself to loosen her grip on the horse’s mane, pausing when she’d sat up. “Wait, forward or backward?”

“Backward, my lady, so you’ll land facing the horse.”

“Okay, sure. I can do that,” Claire muttered to herself. “This is fine. It’s fine. It’s not like I’m sitting on a wild animal that could kill me with a single kick.” she managed to get down from the horse with the stable hand’s help, doing her best to straighten her dress.

“I see you managed to get off the horse!” Loki laughed. “Well done.”

“You…asshole!” Claire seethed as she marched on shaky legs toward him. “What the fuck is your problem!?” Without waiting for an answer, she punched him in the face, sending him stumbling back into the water trough. Claire was so mad she couldn’t even appreciate the sight of him falling into the water. “You could have killed me! You- You are just…unbelievable!” she yelled, turning away from him to see Frigga watching them with a concerned look on her face. Claire took a deep breath to calm her herself. She couldn’t seem to stop shaking. “Thank you for the lesson.” She gave her soon to be mother-in-law a small curtsy and walked into the stable. Frigga rounded on Loki with a stormy expression.

“What in the world could have possessed you to do that? Not just to an inexperienced rider but to your fiancée!” she scolded, storming to his side as he climbed out of the trough.

“I didn’t choose her.” Loki groused, paying no mind to Frigga as he touched his smarting cheek gingerly.

“Nonetheless, you are supposed to look after her; not try to kill her off before the wedding!” Frigga said sharply as Loki rubbed at his cheek. “I expected better from you.”

“This actually hurts,” Loki remarked softly, frowning when Frigga began to chortle. “It isn’t funny Mother.”

“Oh but it is!” Frigga cackled. “Loki, you must stop trying to goad her. Marriage is meant to be a partnership, not a skirmish. Go find her and apologize,” She reached up to cup his reddened cheek and gave another quiet snicker. “Go.” She said sternly when Loki frowned at her.

Loki entered the stable to search for Claire as instructed, stalling when he saw Claire seated on the bench outside his horses stall.

“What do you want?”

“I came to-”

“Please,” Claire scoffed. “We both know you’re not actually sorry. You’re here because your mom made you come.”

“I’m simply giving you a chance to gloat,” Loki spread out his arms so she could see the water still dripping from his form. “You got your revenge, mortal. Though if you had paid more attention to the lesson-” Loki ducked to escape a flying bucket.

“Stay the hell away from me!” Claire shouted across the stable. “Just leave me alone, you psycho!” she stormed out of the stable, slamming the door behind her. Loki scoffed as he put the bucket away. His horse huffed at him as he drew near, begging for treats as always.

“I’m not a psychopath,” he grumbled to himself. “It was a fun prank, was it not?” his horse shook its head, tail swishing in agitation. “I suppose you like her, do you?” Loki asked accusingly. The horse neighed enthusiastically, causing Loki to roll his eyes dramatically. “You would. Everyone does.”

26 days until the wedding

Claire hadn't seen Loki in a few days since the horse riding incident. She was still mad about it, but since she hadn't seen him, she hadn't been able to give him a piece of her mind. She glanced at the package she'd had delivered from home, wondering if she was taking things a bit too far. Screw that, he could have killed her! He deserved it.

“Ragna, will you deliver this to Prince Loki please?”

“Of course, my lady. Can I do anything else for you this eve?”

“No thank you. I'll head to bed in a bit. See you in the morning.”

“Good night my lady.” Ragna curtsied before taking the package and leaving Claire's quarters. Your turn, asshole. Claire finished her wine and headed to bed.

Across the palace, Ragna handed the parcel to Astrid at the door to Loki’s chambers. Astrid took the parcel inside, holding it aloft for the prince to see.

“This just arrived for you, Your Majesty. From your betrothed.”

“Thank you, Astrid.” Loki looked up from his book to see the older woman holding a parcel. She waited for him to set his book aside before handing it to him.

“Of course, Your Majesty. Do you require anything else for the day?”

“No, you may go.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty. Sleep well.”

“And you.” Loki replied absently as he turned the parcel over in his hands. It was not a large or heavy item, whatever it was. She'd wrapped it in thick brown paper, so he had no clues as to the contents Was this a sign of peace? He did feel guilty.

Mostly.

Well...enough.

Whatever it was, the parcel could wait til morning. Loki abandoned the box on his breakfast table, already thinking of what he'd have to break his fast the next morn.

The next morning Loki woke in a delightful mood. Astrid brought his favorite breakfast, his bath was delightful, and he had no boring meetings this day. He could do as he pleased. He regarded the unopened package from Claire as he ate, deciding he should open it before he began his day. He worked his fingernail beneath the seam of the neatly wrapped paper, tearing it slowly to reveal a small box with a message.

TO: Loki FROM: Claire

She'd even drawn a heart.

Loki rolled his eyes. The mortal was pathetic, but at least she had the sense to apologize for striking him. He opened the box, curious what her idea of an apology would contain.

“Ack!” Pink clouded his vision as the box practically exploded, spewing pink sparkles everywhere. Norns it was in his mouth! He spat out the flimsy paper, rage building in him. “What in Hel's name was that?!” He shouted. “Oh no. Oh, for Odin's sake!” The offending pink sparkles lay all over the table and his half-eaten breakfast, even on the floor and nearby wall. Loki scurried away from the table, a cloud of pink following after him like a shadow. “Damn her to Hel!” He shouted when he saw his reflection. He was coated in the pink sparkles of all sizes, from his hair to his waist. “Wait- is this-” he looked closer at the largest sparkles. They were- surely a woman would possess more class than this. He plucked a sparkle from his hair to inspect. It was a cock.

A pink, sparkly cock.

Claire sat in the feast hall enjoying breakfast when Loki burst in covered in garishly pink penis confetti. Claire barely contained her laughter as he glared around the great hall. His gaze darkened as it settled on her, striding determinedly across the room toward her.

“What in Hel's name is this?!” He demanded to know, slamming his large hands down on the table in front of her. “I have taken 3 baths and it will not come off.” He was indeed very sparkly today. The smaller particles of glitter coated his skin, giving him a shimmery complexion that reminded Claire of the laughable vampires in Twilight. Above his left eyebrow, a large, metallic pink dick was hanging on for its life.

“It's called glitter. It doesn't come off.” Don't look at the dick on his face, don't look at the dick on his face.

“Ever?” Bless his heart, he actually looked concerned.

“Ever,” Claire held her composure as the sparkly pink dick fell from Loki's eyebrow. “What's wrong? Did you not like it?”

“Like it?!” Loki scoffed. “My chambers are covered in this- this-” he growled. “I should make you clean it, groveling on your hands and knees like the peasant you are.” Ooooo, talk dirty to me baby.

“Are you upset about the color or the shape?” Claire asked, ignoring his threat and the heat gathering under her collar. “I thought you would like the dicks, considering you are one.”

“Mark my words, you little wretch. This is far from over,” Loki seethed, before spinning on his heel and storming out, leaving fragments of glittery hand prints behind on the table top. “What are you staring at?!” He bellowed from the hallway, startling the young women coming in to eat.

“Jesus Christ Claire,” Phil muttered from her right. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking he could have killed me and he needs to know I'm not an easy target,” Claire replied calmly, clucking her tongue as she looked down at her plate. “Aw man, he got his dick in my eggs.”

“Ew,” Phil's nose scrunched up in disgust. “You can probably ask for new ones.”

“No way, I just got these. Besides, it's hardly the worst thing I've eaten. I'll just flick it off.”

Claire was shanghaied right after breakfast for a "family meeting", along with Phil. Odin and Frigga did not appear amused, but Thor burst into laughter when Claire walked in.

“She bested you at your own game, brother!” He guffawed, high-fiving Claire despite Phil shaking his head at them.

“This has gotten out of hand,” Odin spoke loudly over Thor. “Sit down.”

“Lady Claire, I realize you were upset by the incident at the stables. But is this not a touch extreme? What were you thinking?” Frigga asked with disappointment.

“Me?” Claire balked. “All I did was send some glitter.”

“Wildly inappropriate glitter.” Phil offered quietly beside her.

“Thank you, that's very helpful,” Claire hissed. “But this is what gets me brought in for a heart-to-heart? Nearly getting thrown off a horse is fine, but sending dick confetti is crossing the line?”

“Lady Claire-”

“I know, I know, I should be acting more ladylike, but there seems to be a double standard here. Where was Loki's meeting? Did he get a talking-to?” Loki stiffened beside her. The girl had no idea the price he'd paid.

“Loki has already apologized-”

Foolish boy! Odin's words rang in Loki's ears. The Allfather's wrath still made Loki's back ache with each breath. He'd more than paid for his reckless behavior.

“Have you? I must have missed that,” Claire looked at Loki. “You do realize you could have killed me, don't you? Killed me, because of a prank. You seem pretty smart so it must have occurred to you.”

“I expect you to apologize.” Frigga said, her tone brooking no argument.

“I'm sorry the glitter wasn't green. How's that? I thought the pink was nice. It brings out your eyes.”

“Claire!”

“What? It's true. I'm not sorry I sent it and I don’t believe in saying things I don't mean, so I won't be apologizing.” Loki gave a quiet huff. The foolish mortal had no idea the wrath she courted. He almost respected her.

“Both of you will be confined to your chambers this day,” Odin decreed curtly. “Go.”

“Your appointments will be postponed until tomorrow. I expect far, far better behavior from the both of you moving forward.” Frigga admonished them as they left.

~~~~

Claire was more than happy to spend the rest of the day alone, stewing in her apartment. Regardless of what Frigga or Odin or whoever said, she didn’t feel guilty about sending the glitter. As far as she was concerned, Loki got off easy.

A knock on her door made her roll her eyes. Apparently being confined made it easier for people to swing by and annoy her. Snapping her book shut, Claire got up to answer the door.

Njord stood outside, looking more dour than ever.

“I’ve just been informed of your...shenanigans concerning His Majesty Prince Loki,” he sneered. “May I remind you that I personally selected you for this undertaking? You should be honored to even be breathing Asgardian air, not playing childish games.” Claire didn’t appreciate this uppity fucker on Earth and she sure as hell didn’t appreciate him now.

“My shenanigans were retaliation because Prince Loki could have killed me at the stables a few days ago. But surely you knew that,” she snarled. “I didn’t ask to come here-”

“You could have refused the offer. Gods know how much easier things would be if you had!” Njord barked. “You shall keep in mind that your poor behavior reflects upon me, and I shall not have a pathetic, lowly wretch like you ruin my good image.”

“You don’t give me orders. I outrank you now.”

“You outrank no one, mortal. You are nothing until you wed the prince, and even then it is debatable.”

“Look, buddy,” Claire snarled. “You have no right to talk to me that way. For whatever reason, you pulled me into this, you chose me. Deal with it,”she straightened to her full height, satisfaction filling her when he back away. “Now get the fuck away from me, and don’t come back.” The guard at her door sprang into action, unsheathing his sword and brandishing it in Njord’s direction as he blocked the open doorway with his body.

“Step away, sire.” Njord held up his hands, backing away.

“Remember my words, mortal.”

“Get bent, you little troll,” Claire called after him. The guard sheathed his sword and relaxed. “Thank you.”

“Of course, my lady. If I may…”

“Absolutely.”

“The lord is known to have bad taste,” the guard said. “That is to say, he thinks himself superior when he is not.”

“Yeah, I got that. I thought he just didn’t like me.”

“He is unkind to everyone, my lady. My brother Agnar tells me many things.”

“I’m not surprised,” Claire muttered. “What’s your name?” she asked.

“You wish to know my name?” the guard asked in surprise. Claire shrugged.

“I’m going to be here for a while, so I should know, don’t you think?”

“As you wish, my lady,” the guard smiled, giving her a polite bow. “My name is Gunnar.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Gunnar,” Claire extended her hand, holding it out until Gunnar took it with a look of confusion. “You shake it.”

“It is my pleasure to serve you, my lady.” Gunnar graced her with a smile.

“I’m about to order a snack, do you want anything?” Claire asked. Gunnar withdrew his hand, falling back into his protective stance beside the door.

“I shouldn’t. I am on duty,” he said resolutely. “But I appreciate the thought, my lady.”

“Okay, no problem,” Claire replied. “But if you wanted a snack, what would it be? I should probably learn about all the snacks here, right?”

~~~~

25 days until the wedding

On Frigga’s insistence, Loki escorted Claire to the marketplace the following morning. Though he could practically feel himself being dragged to the gallows, he readied himself and set off to collect Claire from her rooms lest his mother drag him to meet his doom by the ear. Loki knew all too well that Frigga would do it, whether he was grown or not.

The guard at the door let him in when he arrived, announcing him as he strode inside. The two chaperones his mother had sent flanked him, their presence only announced by the swish of their skirts as they walked. Frigga brought up the rear of their small party, eager to put the ugliness of the past few days aside so that the engaged couple could begin to finally form a bond.

“Good morning, Your Majesties, my ladies,” Claire’s handmaiden Ragna greeted them with a curtsy. “My lady will be ready shortly if Your Majesty would like to wait.”

“I’m ready now, Ragna,” Claire announced as she entered the room. She drew Loki’s attention immediately, dressed in a sleeveless high-necked pale green gown with a simple silhouette. A silver band adorned her toned bicep, glinting in the soft morning light coming from the open windows. “Good morning.” she said amiably to Loki. She noted that he was distinctly glitter-free today, and she absently wondered how many baths it had taken to remove it all.

“Good morning.”

“My lady,” one of the chaperones interrupted primly. “It is customary that you use His Majesty’s title when addressing him.”

“Oh, right. Uh-”

“It is not necessary. We are simply visiting the market,” He rose to his feet gracefully. “Shall we?” Claire smiled in relief. This whole thing made her feel awkward. She and Loki had barely spoken except to argue during their limited interactions, but with just under a month until their wedding and their tense encounters only seeming to get worse, Frigga had declared it time for them to begin courting.

Claire thought the phrasing was odd considering they were definitely getting married, but she was grateful for the chance to get to know Loki better. Having dispensed her revenge with the glitter bomb, Claire was prepared to set her misgivings aside to at least try.

“Sounds good.”

~~~~

The marketplace was crowded despite the early hour. Vendors of all types shouted, hawking their wares to anyone who walked by. Women in ankle length dresses milled about, their baskets filled with unknown goods as they completed their shopping. Claire and Loki walked side by side, trailed by Frigga, who had carved out time from her busy schedule to watch over her son, as well as two of her ladies in waiting and a member of the palace guard.

At a stall selling sweets, Claire couldn’t resist the temptation and wanted to sample some of the offerings.

“I’m afraid your money is no good here.” Loki said apologetically as Claire dug for currency in her bag.

“Oh! Right, that makes sense. Is there somewhere I can exchange for the correct currency?” Claire asked.

“You could exchange it at the mint, I suppose, although…” Loki eyed the flimsy paper she held in her hand. “You might not get much.”

“Why not? What’s the exchange rate?”

“Exchange is made by weight, and that paper looks quite light.”

“By weight? You’re kidding.” Claire chuckled. “Wait, are you fucking with me?” she asked when Loki didn’t laugh along with her. Instead he smirked, his green eyes glittering with delight as he held her gaze.

“Not until we’re married, my lady.” His lewd promise caught her off guard and made her laugh, earning disapproving stares from the women watching over them.

“Nobody told me you were funny,” Claire giggled, ignoring the women. They could get stuffed. “I like it.”

“Thank you,” Loki said after a beat. “Do not worry about the money. Anything you need can be charged to my accounts.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to spend all your money.” Loki gave her a droll look that told her she’d never accomplish that particular goal. “Oh right, you’ve got money money.” she laughed nervously.

“I am royalty, remember? Do try to keep up, Lady Claire.” Claire rolled her eyes as they moved onto the next stall.

“Well how would I know what kind of money you have? I am fresh off the boat,” Claire joked. “I’m just not used to having that kind of luxury. S.H.I.E.L.D. pays very well, but...old habits and all that.”

“I can certainly appreciate your concern, but I promise you- I will always be able to accommodate your needs, material or otherwise.” Yet another lewd promise. Claire wanted to ask about the otherwise, but one of the chaperones came over to ask if she needed anything. Claire declined, as she’d brought all of her necessities and was in no danger of running out.

“Shall we move along?” Loki asked. They began to move again, passing florists, weavers, and leather workers. Claire lingered at the stall of a glass artisan, admiring a set of colored glass wind chimes. “If there is nothing you need, perhaps you will find something you like. Consider it a welcoming gift.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Claire smiled. “Where is your favorite place to go in the market?”

“There is a bookseller not far from here,” Loki suggested, grinning when Claire perked up. She let her fingers trail over the polished glass before she stepped away.

“I like books,” she smiled. “Lead the way.” Loki returned the smile easily, charmed by her enthusiasm. He offered her his arm, waiting for her to take it before steering them through the crowded street. Frigga and her handmaidens followed behind, discreetly watching their not-date from a distance.

The bookseller was a charming two-story corner lot with a stone facade. A wooden sign hung from a metal post above the door, the chain creaking as the sign moved in the light breeze. Loki opened the heavy wooden door, holding it open for her to step inside.

Stepping inside was like entering another dimension. Rows upon rows of high sturdy shelves filled the cavernous space. Vaulted ceilings of wood beams framed the room, which seemed to go on forever. Claire spied the top of an archway leading deeper into the shop, with more shelves visible beyond. Metal chandeliers hung from the ceilings, the multiple circles of candles casting more than enough light to navigate the walkways. A railing overlooked the main room, showing another maze of book shelves to be explored.

“What sort of books do you enjoy, Lady Claire?” Loki asked from behind her. Claire hesitated to answer, still drinking in the atmosphere. Somehow she didn’t think her usual fare of paranormal romance would be found here, much less accepted.

“Have you heard of Edgar Allan Poe?” she asked over her shoulder. Loki’s face brightened as he stepped deeper into the store to allow the women behind them to enter. Frigga and the women began to browse a nearby shelf. Loki steered Claire toward the opposite shelf with a hand on her lower back.

“I have, actually. I don’t believe we will find any of his work here. His stories are a bit grim, but I enjoy them all the same.”

“Do you have a favorite?” Claire pressed as they began to browse the stacks.

“Of course,” Loki grinned. “I quite enjoyed The Cask of Amontillado. It’s perfect in my opinion. Revenge, forcing your mortal enemy to face their own mortality…” he trailed off, a nervous laugh escaping him. “Forgive me, that was probably-”

“Not at all. That’s exactly what I liked about it,” Claire laughed. Loki looked relieved, a small smile gracing his features. He was kind of adorable when he wasn’t being a jerk. “What did you think of The Tell-Tale Heart?”

“Ah! It was...well,” Loki suddenly looked smaller, almost unsure of himself. “I understand how the protagonist feels, I shall say that.”

“I get it.”

“You do?” Loki asked skeptically, looking up from the book he’d pulled from the shelf.

“Of course,” Claire said. “My line of work isn’t always sunshine and roses. I’ve had to make calls that still get to me from time to time.”

“Forgive me, I was told of your experience as a soldier but it had not occurred to me that you would have taken life.” Loki mused, his jaw clenching when one of their chaperones interrupted.

“This is hardly appropriate conversation for a lady,” the woman scoffed, her voice the perfect blend of motherly disapproval and disappointment. “Murder! And reading!”

“As if that’s worse,” Claire whispered. Loki snickered beside her, making her laugh as well. “Not the literature!”

“Probably concerned about you getting ideas.” Loki muttered as the matron continued to scold them about their improper behavior.

“How terrible; a woman having thoughts of her own!”

“Outlandish,” Loki shook his head. “Would you like to see the upstairs?”

“Is the rainbow bridge multi-colored? Let’s go!” Claire took off at a fast clip, disappearing around a bookshelf. She came back a moment later looking sheepish. “I have no idea where I’m going. Why don’t you lead?” Loki snorted, grasping her by the shoulders and turning her to face the opposite direction. “Oh. Right.” Claire laughed when she saw the staircase leading up.

“You are perhaps the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m choosing to accept that as a compliment,” Claire said confidently. “C’mon, let’s go!”

“Your Majesty-” their chaperone from earlier stopped them from leaving. “You cannot-”

“Oh will you cease?” Loki hissed. “We are in public, the chance of scandal is highly unlikely.”

“It is highly improper-”

“This is nonsense,” Loki scoffed angrily. “Madam, this is difficult enough without your constant harping-”

“Loki that is rude,” Frigga chided as she appeared from the other side of a different bookshelf. “I know I taught you better.”

“Mother, please,” Loki sighed. “You have asked us to get to know each other and we are trying. We might even succeed, but for your crones constantly picking apart our every interaction!”

“The girl must learn if she is to succeed, Your Majesty.”

“The girl is right here.” Claire added sullenly. Loki glanced at her apologetically.

“Making her doubt her every action is hardly the way to teach her,” Loki scoffed, glaring at the matron. “I understand we must have chaperones, but perhaps the constant correction could be less so? And to what point and purpose would we stand on ceremony when we are alone?”

“Lady Claire does need to learn, dearest.” Frigga said.

“Is that not the point of lessons?” Loki asked curtly.

“The lady’s lessons begin tomorrow.”

“Oh for Odin’s sake,” Loki growled. “We are going upstairs to peruse the books. Mother, control your crones or I shall enchant the staircase to make them fall.”

“Loki!”

“Rest assured, mother, nothing untoward will happen!” Loki said heatedly, urging Claire toward the stairs and following swiftly behind.

“Thanks.” Claire said once they were among the upstairs shelves.

“It is of no consequence. They are annoying.” Claire didn’t respond, but Loki heard her giggle.

“So I realized that I can’t actually read any of these books. Talk about a language barrier.” she grimaced.

“Would you like to see a trick?” Loki asked.

“Of course.”

“Pick a book.” Loki instructed, jutting his chin toward the rows of books. He trailed after Claire as she brushed her finger along the spines, settling on a thick leather-bound book with a hand-painted cover. She held it out to him, holding it along as he opened it and thumbed to the middle. Loki drew his hand across the open pages, altering the text of the book. Claire gaped as the words changed to English before her eyes.

“Kick ass,” she laughed. “That’s amazing. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Loki felt an odd stirring in his gut as Claire closed the book and hugged it to her chest. “Shall I give you a tour?”

“Yes please.”

~~~~

After a thorough tour of the upstairs, Claire and Loki had a stack of books each. Claire had learned that Loki was very well-read, so much so that he was familiar with many works from Earth. To her surprise, the prince had a fondness for poetry that matched her own.

They were having a spirited discussion of the works of Keats versus Frost as they went back downstairs to rejoin the others. Loki had tried to carry her books for her but Claire had stubbornly insisted on holding onto them.

“Hey Loki?”

“Yes?”

“Lady Claire?” one of the ladies chirped from where they stood. Her annoying throat clear reminded Claire of Dolores Umbridge.

“It’s fine. I don’t care if my betrothed doesn’t use my title every time she addresses me,” Loki brushed the woman off, looking over at Claire. “I apologize. What were you going to say?”

“It’s fine.” Claire shook her head. She could get a snack back at the palace.

“No, you were about to ask me something and you were interrupted,” he glared at the woman who’d piped up to correct her. “What was it?” Claire grinned, pleased that he had stood up for her.

“I was going to ask if we could get something to eat. We missed lunch.”

“So we did,” Loki smiled. He glanced at their stacks of books almost fondly. “There is somewhere nearby we could go, but it is hardly a venue fit for a princess.” Claire snorted, not caring in the slightest.

“Dude, I grew up poor in LA. My taste in cuisine isn’t exactly high brow.”

“As my lady wishes. Excuse me.” Loki acquiesced, striding away to find Frigga among the shelves. Her found her around the corner with the second lady in waiting.

“Hello mother.” it pleased him greatly to be able to see her in person again. Speaking with her double was not the same.

“Loki!” Frigga greeted him happily, filling him with warmth. “Darling, it is past lunch. We should return before we are late for our afternoon appointments.”

“Ah,” Loki had forgotten about their second visit to the tailor. “Mother, Claire has asked that we find something to eat. Since I kept her so late, it would be rude of me to return her to her chambers hungry.” The corners of Frigga’s mouth turned up, a hint of a smile betraying her pleasure at the budding bond that Loki and Claire seemed to be forming already.

“Quite right, but my ladies and I cannot stay.”

“That’s fine.” Loki replied swiftly.

“But you know you can’t go alone.”

“Mother-”

“It isn’t proper, Loki, you know this,” Frigga said gently. “Circumstances are what they are, but appearances must be kept.”

“Appearances are exhausting,” Loki rolled his eyes. “It would be much easier to get to know her without an audience.”

“I believe I saw Fandral-”

“Oh Gods, no! Don’t do that to me, Mother, please.”

“Fandral or the crones, Loki,” Frigga said sternly. “That is how it must be,” she patted his cheek fondly. “It is less than three weeks away.” Loki groaned like a petulant child, making Frigga smile. Her youngest son had always been the more dramatic of the two, and it comforted her to know that neither age nor time apart had changed that.

“Fine,” Loki snarled. “If Fandral’s presence is absolutely necessary, I will accept it. But I will stab him-”

“You will do no such thing.” Frigga replied, completely unphased by the threat.

“Yes I will,” Loki vowed. “I stabbed him when we were young and I’ll do it again.”

“You are still young, my darling,” Frigga said fondly, cupping his cheek to bring his line of sight back to hers. “There will be no stabbing.”

“But Mother-”

“Perhaps you would prefer the crones?”

“Ugh, no,” Loki groaned. “But what if he flirts with her? May I stab him then?”

“Fandral may be amorous, but he is not so stupid as to flirt with the future princess royal.”

“Are you certain, Mother? I’ve seen him flirt with drapery.” Loki said flatly. Frigga made a noise low in her throat, chewing her lower lip in a rare show of worry.

“Perhaps the crones would be better in that case. Lady Claire is far more attractive than drapery, wouldn’t you say?” she glanced to the side, drawing Loki’s attention to Claire as she stood by a window perusing a new book she had found. The sunlight behind her bathed her in a golden halo, the vision broken by the heavy book toppling to the ground and his future bride swearing as she dropped to her knees to get it. The crones descended immediately, scolding her up one side and down the other for everything from swearing to picking up her own book. Loki saw Claire roll her eyes as she made a show of getting back up to let the guard pick up the book, and the foreign fluttering in his belly started again.

“I swear to Bor if he so much as looks at her the wrong way I will end his entire bloodline.” Frigga sighed heavily, unsurprised by the threat but weary all the same.

“I would prefer if you did not, but at least try to be subtle if you must.”

“I was subtle last time!” Loki gasped in offense. “You only heard about it because Thor cannot keep a secret to save his life.” Frigga slapped at his arm, clucking her tongue disapprovingly.

“And what will your future wife think if you stab someone simply for talking to her?”

“Based on our limited interactions, I believe she may be doing the stabbing herself.” Loki said smugly. Frigga sighed again, wondering what nonsense she would be subjected to in the future.

“Norns help me.” she muttered to herself.

“Norns help Fandral,” Loki cackled. “I’ve changed my mind, Mother. I’ll greet the fool happily. Excuse me,” He left her side to sweep Claire away from the crones. “Have you decided which books you would like?”

“They all look interesting, but I can’t decide which one to get,” Claire replied. “Which one would you suggest?”

“Who said anything about deciding?” Loki asked. “Do you want them?”

“Well...yes.”

“Then you shall have them,” Loki said easily. “Have these charged to my accounts and bring this stack to Lady Claire’s chambers.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” The guard escorting their party gathered the books from Claire and Loki and headed toward the front of the shop.

“Thank you.” Claire smiled.

“Of course,” Loki grinned back. “Now, we should get you something to eat before you perish.”

“It’s nowhere near that dire,” Claire laughed. “But yes, food is great.”

“My mother insists we still have chaperones, but-”

“More crones?”

“No, which is possibly both a blessing and a curse. She insists my brothers friend Fandral accompanies us, as she and the crones have duties back at the palace.” Claire noted the snarl in his voice as he said the newcomers name, logging the detail away to study later. There was clearly a history there she needed to know about.

~~~~

Watching Fandral eat, all while he talked, drank, and flirted his way through the staff, Claire decided the scorn was well earned and maybe she didn’t need to know the full history between him and her future husband. Fandral was making the reason Loki disliked him rather obvious as he shared story after boastful story of his exploits rather than let the newly engaged couple get to know each other.

When her attempts to speak with Loki were interrupted a third time, Claire decided politeness was getting them nowhere.

“I helped defeat the destroyer, you know,” Fandral said pompously. “The weapon this one sent to your planet,” he added unnecessarily as he stuffed food in his mouth. “Has he told you about that yet?”

“No,” Claire replied. “But I knew. I was there.”

“You were?” Loki asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., dummy,” Claire laughed lightheartedly. “I was one of the first agents on the scene when Mjolnir touched down.”

“Is that so?” Fandral asked with awe. “So then you witnessed our glorious victory!”

“I witnessed your glorious retreat, you mean,” Claire corrected. Beside her, Loki choked on his ale before covering his laughter with a polite cough. “It was Thor that defeated the destroyer after you and your companions fell back to evacuate.”

“Well-I-we helped!” Fandral stammered, his face a scorching tomato red.

“You did, that’s true,” Claire nodded. “But I don’t think you can say you personally defeated the destroyer when Thor did eighty-five percent of the work.”

“Quite a strategic mind you have, Lady Claire. Clever,” Fandral replied with false cheer. He turned his gaze to her right, settling his ire on Loki. “Does it bother you to hear of your past losses, Loki?”

“Not at all,” Loki replied, his voice seductively calm. “A warrior is always open to criticism, so that he may improve for the future.” He and Fandral glared at each other across the table, the tension between them palpable.

Claire watched on as they continued to attempt to murder each other with their gazes, eyes bouncing back and forth with amusement. It was clear that Fandral wanted Loki to look bad, but Claire wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t as though she would be calling off the wedding to run off with Fandral. Maybe this needed further examination after all. Claire could only hope that if things came to blows, that someone brought her a drink refill first.

If it came to it, Claire would put her money on Loki. He’d been nothing but polite and kind on today’s outing, but the man clearly had buckets of rage and Fandral was an idiot. It might would be amusing to watch Loki bash his face in.

The tense spell did not end in violence, but was instead broken by a serving girl bearing a platter of some kind of raw fish. Claire perked up and leaned over to inspect it, but couldn’t quite identify it.

“It’s eel,” Loki said helpfully, bringing the dish closer to her. “It’s one of my favorites. Would you like some?”

“Awesome,” Claire said excitedly. “I haven’t had sushi in ages.”

“Your people consume raw fish?” Fandral asked with disbelief, his eyes wide as he watched Loki serve Claire then himself from the platter.

“Not all of us, but yes. It’s something of a delicacy. I’m guessing you don’t like it?”

“Why would I, it’s disgusting.” Fandral sneered, his lip curling in disgust as Claire savored the first piece.

It was so fresh. Claire was in heaven- not even the best sushi she’d had on Earth was this delicious.

“How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?” Claire asked innocently. “Don’t tell me a strapping warrior such as yourself is afraid of a little fish?”

“Hardly,” Fandral scoffed, clearly offended by her tone. “To my knowledge only the Jotunn consumed fish raw. You know about them, I assume?”

Loki, who had been chuckling to himself throughout their exchange, stilled beside her. Another strike for Fandral.

“Is that your subtle way of asking if I know Loki’s heritage?” Claire asked tersely. She looked at the tense man beside her, putting a hand on top of his vambrace to reassure him. “It’s okay. It doesn’t bother me,” Fandral noted the contact with curiosity- touching the royal family simply wasn’t done, but the youngest prince detested being touched. Lady Claire had managed to commit two faux pas in one motion, the silly girl. And yet, to Fandral’s surprise, Loki made no move to disengage her. “What do I need to know?”

“There are several library books-”

“You’re the resident expert, are you?” Claire asked sharply. “I was asking Loki.” she looked over at him expectantly, giving him pause.

“Erm-”

“Ah, well-”

“Excuse me,” Claire spoke over Fandral, her patience at the breaking point. “You interrupted Loki,” she patted his arm as she looked back to him. “Go ahead.”

“I was simply going to say I don’t wish to talk about it, in present company or otherwise.”

“Okay,” Claire nodded, accepting his reply without question. Loki studied her as she returned to her eel. The woman confused him and Loki didn’t like it. Unknowns made him uncomfortable. Was she not going to pester him to speak? Was she not curious about the monster he truly was? This woman he was coming to know seemed incongruous with the wicked trickster who sent him pornographic glitter. “You don’t like people who are different, do you?” the venom in Claire’s voice drew Loki’s attention. Her ire was striking, and rather satisfying, as she made Fandral squirm under her steely gaze.

“And you do?” Fandral asked defensively.

“I know how alienating it can feel,” Claire replied. “Where I grew up, the Latinx and bipoc communities were the majority. I wasn’t exactly an outsider, but people who looked like me were pretty rare.” As if sensing he was outnumbered, Fandral made a quiet retreat and the rest of their meal passed without incident. Claire emerged from the restaurant certain that she shared Loki’s disdain for Fandral. As much as she wished to be rid of him, he still had to escort them back to the palace.

They traveled back through the marketplace, somehow even busier than it had been earlier. Loki looked on as Claire struggled to take it all in, wondering if her slender neck would withstand the constant back and forth as she took in all the sights around them. He slowed his pace to allow her more time, and giving them more distance between themselves and Fandral.

“Is this very different from your home?” he asked.

“I’ve been to places like this, when I would travel for work, but where I’m from markets like this weren’t very common. Most people do their shopping indoors at different places.” Loki’s nose wrinkled as he contemplated how annoying that much be. Claire thought it was cute.

“Why?” Loki asked. “I imagine it would be useful to have indoor markets in inclement weather, but...all the time? And the travel to different vendors- when one could be literally steps away!” he gestured toward the stalls to illustrate his point. “To what end?”

“Capitalism.” Claire said flatly.

“Capitalism?”

“Yeah,” Claire sighed with exasperation. “It sucks big ol’ donkey balls.”

“I beg your pardon?” Loki gaped at her, laughter bubbling up in his chest despite him. He’d never heard a woman speak so crudely, and he was equally delighted and stunned. “That is...certainly an image I could do without.”

“It’s true!” Claire chirped loudly, drawing stares from passersby. “If you really want to know about it, I can explain it. Just know it’s an over-complicated, ugly system of economics that revolves around money.”

“How charming.”

“That’s one word for it.” Claire laughed, stopping short as she and Loki nearly ran into Fandral, who had stopped unexpectedly in front of them.

“I need to visit the armorer.” he announced suddenly, forcing them to change directions and head deeper in the marketplace and away from the palace. Despite wanting to be done with Fandral, Claire felt she and Loki were at least getting off to a good start and wanted to spend more time speaking with him.

The armorer was a unique vendor, as they had a building behind their outdoor stall. Inside, Claire could hear the clang of heavy hammer meeting metal and the flickering of flame. Thick black smoke poured from the chimney above, giving some relief from the unrelenting sun. Outside in the stall, the large rectangular tables were covered with knives and swords. Baskets of locks, keys, horseshoes, hinges and nails dotted the displays. On the back table beside the scattered armor and helmets, Claire spotted a spiked mace in the corner, and her fingers itched to test it out on Fandral’s face.

“This is so cool.” she remarked, turning her attention to the knives in front of her. As she was inspecting a set of throwing daggers, Fandral stepped up beside them.

“I have to go inside for a moment,” he said, as if they cared. “Don’t wander off.”

“Damn, that’s exactly what I was planning to do.” Claire replied sarcastically. The corners of Loki’s mouth turned up as his finger traced the pearl handles of a set of daggers appreciatively. He admired her wit.

“Lady Claire-”

“I was kidding! Just do what you do,” Fandral eyes her skeptically, staying in place. “We’re not five. We’ll be right here looking at knives.”

“That is what concerns me.” Fandral finally left them to run his dumb errand, leaving Claire and Loki alone for the first time since meeting. Well, except for the merchant standing nearby awkwardly.

“Hey,” Claire said quickly, getting Loki’s attention. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Whatever for?” Loki asked. “That is not the first time Fandral has been rude to me, nor will it be the last. I’m not a child. You’ve no need to apologize to me.”

“I know you’re not, I just meant- I could tell you were uncomfortable. He was a dick to bring it up.”

“’It’ being the fact that I’m a monster?”

“I didn’t say that.” Claire argued.

“But I’m sure you think it-”

“Whoa, buddy, lemme stop you right there. If I think something, you can be damn sure I’ll tell you. I understand there are things about you I don’t know, and yes I have questions, but I’m not going to be a dick about it like him,” Claire glanced toward the armorer’s shop to illustrate her point. “I’m trusting that as an adult, you will tell me when you’re ready.” Loki scoffed.

“Because you care so deeply for my feelings after a week?”

“Five thousand years is a long time,” Claire replied placidly. “No sense in starting off at each other’s throats,” she pulled her arm from his. “At least more than we already have. But message received. I won’t bring it up again,” she promised. “Now tell me about these knives.”

As the merchant stepped closer to display his wares, Loki watched on. Claire was well-acquainted with knives, he learned, watching her pepper the merchant with questions as she ran her thumb delicately along the cheek of the blade.

He wanted to see her use it.

The funny feeling in his stomach returned as he considered what he had learned about her in the short time they’d been acquainted. She was well-read (barring her erroneous appreciation for Frost), and appreciated similar cuisines. She was mischievous, as her trick with the glitter had shown.

“I regret my actions at the stables,” he found himself blurting. “I should not have been so careless.”

“No you shouldn’t have,” Claire replied bluntly. “If this is your attempt at getting an apology for the glitter, it’s not going to work. I can’t be guilted for something I don’t regret.” Loki huffed in amusement.

His future wife was bold as could be.

“I suppose I can admit it was...deserved.”

“Very well deserved,” Claire corrected him. “I see you managed to get most of it off.”

“Mostly, yes,” Loki agreed. “Although it lingers horribly.”

“That’s the point,” Claire turned her wolfish smile on him, making the funny feeling return with a vengeance. “I’m kind of sad I missed the explosion.”

“It was rather forceful,” Loki chuckled. “One of the pieces found its way into my mouth.”

She was a creature of beauty, the afternoon sun making her face glow as she threw her head back in loud, raucous laughter. Loki barely minded that she was laughing at him, the absurdity of it all beginning to make him laugh as well.

“That’s amazing. I regret nothing,” she said breathlessly as she collected herself. “Truce?” she requested as Fandral returned.

“Ready to go?”

Loki was beyond ready. He wanted to get away from this strange woman and the strange feelings she stirred in him.

20 days until the wedding

Apart from meals, Claire did not see Loki the day after their trip to the market. She was still digesting the hefty discoveries from the day, so it didn’t bother her. The man was odd, to say the least.

Odd, but thoughtful.

The books she had picked out had been waiting for her the following morning, wrapped with loving care by the bookseller. Atop the package had been a parcel of the sweets she had wanted to try, along with a note which read simply Truce.

Since she’d had nothing on her pre-wedding agenda for that morning, she had picked a book and a few pieces of candy to test out before stretching along the plush couch. The pink taffy-like candy was delicious, proving that pink candies were the best, even in space. The yellow however, had been spat out almost immediately. Claire enjoyed the tastes of banana and mayonnaise, but not together. Afraid to try the other candies, she’d set them aside for later snacking.

Lunch was uneventful except for catching up with her uncle. They exchanged excited whispers of what they had learned about life in Asgard before Claire had to meet the healer to prove she could in fact have Loki’s babies. The middle-aged looking woman who examined Claire answered her questions as though speaking to a child, all while asking her invasive questions about what she ate and the date of her last period and her last bowel movement.

Claire wasn’t sure why she needed to know about that, but answered anyway. She couldn’t exactly refuse.

She was dismissed promptly one hour after arriving, feeling as though her forehead bore a large stamp reading FERTILE AF as Ragna walked her back to her chambers. It was fucking degrading. She felt like nothing more than a glorified brood mare brought to stable to breed the next great racehorse, and as soon as she got back to her rooms she sank into a steaming bath in a sour mood.

The dress Ragna set out for her was beautiful, but Claire was still in a funk and felt more like a child playing dress up than a soon-to-be royal.

She didn’t see Loki during dinner, which was a small mercy because she was still angry at him, but the food- normally something shiny and novel- sat heavy and uneasy in her stomach.

She would kill for a burger and beer.

When she eventually went to bed later that night, she told herself it was a bad day and she was still adjusting. Things would get better.

She hoped.

19 days until the wedding

Phil’s experience in Asgard was much more peaceful than Claire’s. His rooms were elegant and classy, the staff he’d been assigned made his day even smoother than usual, and he was allowed mostly to do whatever he wished. He spent a great deal of time in the library, learning what he could about Asgard. Today however, the library had lost its appeal and Phil instead sought out answers.

“How is the wedding planning is going? I haven’t seen much of Claire the past few days.” Phil had hoped to find Frigga, but surprisingly had found Odin instead.

“Ah yes, she is rather busy with my wife Frigga and also Loki, if only intermittently. It is custom that newlyweds share a dance at the feast following the ceremony and they must meet to practice. It is-” Odin began to laugh. “If my wife is to be believed, despite their improved interactions, they still bicker like children.”

“I’m sure she and Loki are getting along wonderfully.” Phil said jokingly. He imagined they were rather unfriendly with one another, if their first meeting was any indication.

“Frigga tells me they bicker over the littlest things; quite passionately if she is to be believed. Just this morning she mentioned that Lady Claire lost her temper with Loki and struck him rather forcefully before storming off. Norns know what that boy did to get such a rise out of her,” Odin chuckled. “If I did not know better, I would say it’s almost as if they each enjoy antagonizing the other.”

“I figured as much. Claire can be very stubborn when she wants to be.”

“As can Loki. I suppose we must pray they don’t kill each other.”

“You don’t really think they would, do you?” Phil asked with concern.

“No. Loki is fully aware of the consequences that would befall him should any harm come to Claire. His freedom hinges upon their marriage succeeding. Should it fail, for whatever reason, he will return to his cell for the rest of his days.”

“That’s…comforting.” Phil said, tucking his hands in his pockets. Odin gave a bemused grin.

“I understand you are worried for Lady Claire, being her only family. We will see that all of her needs are met, and you may visit at any time should you wish.”

“Why is it that I can come and go as I please but Claire is only allowed to visit Earth once a year?”

“I only say that as a precaution. Given her soon-to-be elevated status, she could potentially be at risk from anyone wishing her harm. We wish to avoid that,” Odin explained. “That can always be changed later, depending on the response to the marriage on Midgard. I know it may seem as if we are keeping her from her home, but I assure you it is only for protection. This is why I allow you to come as you please; I do not wish you or Claire to feel isolated from one another in these challenging times. You are always welcome here, Son of Coul.”

“Thank you for that,” Phil smiled. “I’ll return to Earth after the wedding and bring Claire’s things as soon as I can.”

“As you wish.” Odin nodded.

“I assume Claire will be granted immortality after the wedding.”

“You are correct, however it must wait until later in the year.”

“Why the delay?” Phil asked accusingly.

“Peace, Son of Coul. I bear no ill will to my new daughter,” Odin soothed him. “It is merely because the crop is not ready.”

“The crop? Oh right, the apples.”

“Yes, the apples will not be ready until the autumn. Lady Claire will receive her own apple alongside everyone else,” Odin assured Phil. “Do not worry too much over her; we both know she is more than capable of fending for herself,” he chuckled. “I believe it is almost time for supper; would you care to walk with me?”

“Sure,” Phil said. “Do you think they are fighting?” he asked as they began to walk inside.

“I am sure they are,” Odin chuckled. “Perhaps they will keep us entertained with their bickering.”

Upon reaching the great hall, they were indeed greeted by the sight of Loki and Claire seated side by side, both glaring heatedly at the other. Odin and Phil parted; Odin taking his seat at the head of the table and Phil sitting on the opposite side of Claire.

“How are things?” he greeted his niece, only to receive a withering glare.

“Fabulous.” She grouched, thanking a servant as she brought them goblets of wine.

“You needn’t do that,” Loki muttered beside her. “It’s her job.”

“Well on Earth we thank the people that bring us things,” Claire answered. “Not all of us are pompous assholes.” Phil sighed beside her.

“Really Claire?” he chastised. “Can we have one night without fighting?”

“Yes, really.” Claire hissed as she began to sip her wine.

“Must you complain about everything?” Loki interjected. “I don’t believe you’ve uttered one sentence that has not been a complaint since you arrived.”

“That’s not true; calling you an asshole wasn’t a complaint. It was an observation.” Claire responded petulantly, taking another sip of her wine.

“You’re a brat.” Loki hissed.

“But a correct one. Big words, by the way, from the god they call Silvertongue. I’d have thought your vocabulary would be more expansive the way people carried on. How’s your leg?” Claire asked with false concern.

“Completely healed, thank you for asking.”

“That’s a shame! Though you know if you weren’t such an ass I wouldn’t have kicked you.”

“Perhaps if you would learn to not stomp on my feet my manners would improve.”

“That was one time!” Claire objected.

“No, it was several times!” Loki seethed. “Are you truly incapable of learning one simple dance?”

“Maybe I could if you didn’t drag me around at a million miles an hour! It’s called patience, you twat.”

“Claire, that’s enough! People are staring.” Phil reprimanded her roughly. Claire turned to glare at him, only to notice that he was right; the entire room was focused on her and Loki.

“Very mature, your niece.” Loki muttered in Phil’s direction.

“Shut up,” Claire seethed. “You’re no better.”

“At least I don’t go about kicking people in the shin.”

“You deserved it.”

“Silence, both of you,” Frigga snapped curtly. “This is no way to behave.”

“Yes Mother,” Loki replied ruefully, turning his attention to his plate with a sullen look on his face. He glared over at Claire; this was entirely her fault, the intolerable little brat. “Well done darling, you’ve managed to make dinner more interesting than it has been in years.” He complimented her sarcastically.

“Bite me mama’s boy; you started it.” Claire hissed. Beside her, Phil facepalmed as the engaged couple began bickering yet again.

“Woman!” Loki slammed his goblet down, sloshing blood red wine upon the crisp white tablecloth. He opened his mouth to hurl another insult at her, but Frigga caught him by the ear and pulled him to her.

“Loki, I have had it with your behavior. I raised you better than to speak to a woman like that. If you are unable to speak to your future wife with civility then do not speak at all,” She scolded him heatedly. “Apologize to her immediately.” Loki clenched his jaw, about to refuse when Frigga raised a brow warningly. He growled and turned to look at Claire, looking dainty and innocent as she pushed her food around her plate.

“I apologize for my rudeness.” He said sullenly. Claire looked over at him with benign interest, playing her part of the innocent victim well.

“Pardon?” she asked.

“You heard me.” Loki grouched.

“No, actually, I didn’t. Can you repeat that please?” Claire requested. Loki growled; the little nuisance was doing this intentionally. Damn her.

“Loki…” Frigga coached beside him. “Your bride-to-be did not hear you.”

“I said, I apologize!” Loki hissed loudly. “Did you hear me that time?” he asked arrogantly.

“Yes, thank you!” Claire chirped, smiling sweetly at him. Plague take her. Just when they’d started to improve their relationship, she began acting like a child again. Mercifully, they passed the rest of the meal without speaking, but there were occasional lingering glances.

Claire seemed agitated whenever he caught her staring, the tops of her cheeks turning a charming pink as she looked away.

He understood the feeling well, for he found it increasingly difficult not to stare at her.

[pale-opal]

Thursday evening/way too early Friday morning, I uploaded the second of the final five chapters of my MMX rewrite. Which means that it is time for the second of the five fun facts. Today, we will be discussing the magic of ✨rewriting your own work✨(mild spoilers beneath the cut).

So, it should go without saying, but it is very rare that a first draft of a "First Impact" chapter gets posted. Usually, all that is needed is a quick grammar check from @crystalclear365, but other times, entire parts of the plot need to be reworked. Let's take the fight scene that takes place between Zero and X in Chapter 10 as an example. Originally, it took place in Chapter 8, and it looked like this:

Hmm... while I don't think this version of the argument is bad, per se, I do see a few issues. Everything escalates too quickly. X and Zero are at one another's throats in about a minute, despite there being no dialogue from either party that would warrant the other's response. Additionally, it is out of character for Zero to act the way he does here (especially when you consider how he behaves this early into the rewrite), and the fight being from X's perspective makes it difficult to see where Zero is coming from. That makes X more sympathetic than intended, which is a problem - while he does have a right to be confused as to why Zero seems to be so fond of Axl, this argument is meant to showcase the possessive tendencies that X struggles with at this point in the plot. Not only that, but Zero cutting contact with X before the battle with Chill Penguin would have severely restricted how I would have been able to write Zero and X's interactions during the mission.

In order to fix these issues, I moved the argument to Chapter 10, specifically after Zero talks to Sigma after the mission and after Axl has chosen to stay at the Hunter Base for the night. This led to this version of the fight:

Okay - this is much better. To begin with, the fight takes more time to build up (making it much less jarring when the yelling starts), and both Zero and X's motives are much clearer. X properly comes off as both possessive and understandably confused, and Zero's refusal to fully explain his actions also has proper reasoning behind it. Furthermore, moving the argument to a different chapter allowed me to create more reasons for the argument's escalation. Now, X is also upset because Zero misled him - and Zero has two additional reasons for why he's angry: X won't leave him alone, despite Zero not having a problem with doing that for him when necessary (in other words, X is being a hypocrite), and X's behavior reminds him of Bass (and not in a good way), causing him to draw the conclusion that people that are supposed to be close to him keep treating him like an object. There are plenty of other times that I have had to rewrite things in "First Impact," but this case is the easiest to talk about. However, if you want to know about the writing process I followed, please let me know! And my inbox is open, so don't hesitate to ask any other questions as well. (Also, if this is your first time hearing of "First Impact" or "Collision Course" and this post somehow piqued your interest, please read the tags on the fic before reading. While the story may be rated T for Teen, that doesn't mean things don't get intense. Stay safe, everybody.)

[pbandjesse]

Sadly baby mouse died overnight. I am not shocked after how quickly he deteriorated yesterday. I just hope he was comfortable in the end. I feel really bad. But I tried my best. I really did. I would bury him with his brother in the clover pot.

I felt sad this morning because of that. I hadn't slept bad. And let myself sleep until 9. When I woke up I had a sore throat. It's like deep in the base of my skull. Which might be be allergies but it for sure not comfy.

I got dressed. And tried to feel fine. I cleaned up all the mouse stuff. Said goodbye. Tried to feel normal.

I had a little breakfast. And I worked on the sweater project. I decided that it's not the right shape. Which is alright. It was a fun try and I will move on to the next project now. I am not sure what that will look like but I'm looking forward to trying to make something else

My hands need a little break I think though and I might do some sewing to get ready for the Christmas market. Or draw some new bears. We will see.

I would chill on the couch after I vacuumed up the yarn fluff I got all over the living room. I thought about cleaning but then I was just a bit paralyzed. I was tired and couldn't do anything. So I didn't. I had a deviled egg. I ran downstairs to get a package for a neighbor when the doorbell rang. I laid in bed for a little while.

I got up at 12 and finished getting ready. I put my shoes on. And I was off. I said hello to my neighbor outside. And drove to awah.

I put on music to hype myself up. And got there early. I was most of the way set up when Zoe got there.

It was a fun day. I was really pleased to see the sisters back from the spring who I really like. I also just really liked the project. We were talking about geometric shapes and colors and patterns. And everyone seemed really into it. Which I always love. I just want everyone to have fun. And this was a good one.

Me and Naomi also made some art to encourage the teens. One of the sister, Tiffany, loved the black outlines on my art and asked if she could do it too. Of course!! She seemed so excited, it was so sweet. Her sister, Sierra, held my hand and told me she was afraid of bees. She also was very concerned with the dates of the class which I think is very sweet. She just wants to know what's up, which I can absolutely relate too.

We had a lull between groups and were able to reset. I had a nice conversation with Mary Ellen about what puhtok does and the group I work with on Tuesdays with profoundly disabled students. She got a little misty! I was surprised but I also got it.

The adult class was fun. I had a nice conversation with Andrew and his dad about how Andrew has such a beautiful eye for color and his work reminds me of Hilma af Klint. Which I think made Andrew flattered.

I also just had some nice interactions with Richard and his aid. About pop art and painting. It was a fun class.

Me and Naomi would chat about her trip next weekend and how we have no class. It'll be nice to have a free Sunday. And we were pretty good at reminding people about it. Hate to mess up any of their routines, I know how important that is for them, but everyone seems mostly chill about it.

It would take a little bit to get all of the materials out away. Andrew and Brian had helped us bring things to the table and I got everything put away. Chatted with Andrew's dad. But soon it was time to go.

I remembered to alarm the building. And then walked to my car. Which was surprisingly warm. I took my sweater and socks off. And wrote my notes for the class while the ac cooled down the car.

I I went to target. I was originally going to go this morning but I am glad I waited. It was fun. But it was also incredibly busy. Target was having some kind of sale if you used the app. Which finally pushed me to download the app.

And I saved so much??? I had $18 in Cashback on my account I didn't know about and a $5 gift card, plus 30% off half my items. I ended up getting a $95 order for $58! That's crazy!

I did really good sticking to my list. But I also treated myself to a beautiful green fleece jacket that I love. Its so soft. And if we use girl math, with my discounts today I got it for free.

Of course it's way to warm to wear it. But in the coming weeks I am sure it's going to be great.

I paid after waiting on a very long line. Almost left the store without getting the security tag taken off the fleece but after the door beeped at me twice I went back and got it fixed. Oops.

I dropped off my purchases in the car and walked to five below. Which was also to busy but it was fine. I did not have luck finding what I was looking for. The final items on my list. Pimple patches and brown sugar chapstick. I still had fun looking around.

I remembered I had a $10 gift card for Ulta so I walked next door and had great luck. I found a new brand of patches that weren't expensive and the brown sugar chapstick! Which had a redesigned package so I'm glad I was able to find it even if it didn't look like I expected from the old packaging.

The girl at the counter was excited for me that my total was $4 after my gift card. Excellent. Love a deal. She also helped me fix my Ulta account that wasn't set up correctly. Why it had my Minnesota address and my brother's name I will never know. Weird weird weird.

I walked to the Michaels next. No luck on the strap material but I found a few other little things I was excited about. Some ribbon and super glue. A cup and a wall hook shaped like a heart. I had a coupon for there too. I was doing really good today.

I got a piece of candy while I was there and ate that while I walked back to the car. And then home.

It was a nice drive back. And I was really happy to be back. I was tired.

James was playing DND with their friends. I put things away and laid on the couch with sweetp. James said they would play for another hour. And once that hour was up I requested they get off and have dinner with me. So they did.

They would run to the store to get dressing. And then we had a salad, fries, and grilled cheeses for dinner. James just made one dinner that we shared and it was very sweet. I love my husband.

I have been hanging out all evening. Texting Celia about how whimsy is the best prevention for COVID. Sweetp was being a little cutie cuddling me. I got a shower. James and me are in bed now. I am very much ready for sleep.

James told me that they are very sorry that baby mouse died. But they feel like taking care of him healed something in them for the mouse tests they had to do in highschool. I am glad that we tried. I am sad but I know we showed kindness and that is important to me.

Tomorrow we are taking Sweetp to the vet for a check up. He is to fat so I am expecting them to tell us that. But besides that I think we are just having a chill day. I hope it is restful.

Sleep well everyone. Wash your hands and take care of eachother.

[thatfilmduderyan]

December 2024 Update!

It's been a while, again...

Regular posting seems to be a thing of the past on here, but that is actually something I want to change. I've been reflecting on my use of other social media sites and feel that they're not as constructive as this place. 'Why' is probably the most popular question in response to that, so let me respond.

Social media seems to be transforming into a highly toxic and manipulative place no matter what accounts or people you interact with. Extreme amounts of discipline are required to navigate its depths effectively without yourself being sucked into one of millions of 'attention span black holes'. Then there's the thread of emotional deregulation - being thrown into fight or flight by various things whether they be fictional or actual reality. It's important to remain connected and grounded to our reality, to be aware of injustice, and to be aware of the great things achieved, but this is a cup that has to be sipped in moderation. I've noticed when I step back from platforms like instagram my capacity to read increases, and from this comes better ideas and more excitement for my career. So if you're reading this and you've been feeling a bit all over the place then might I recommend some time off... I would also recommend downloading and installing the app 'opal' which effectively blocks social media apps on your phone at specific times.

So with myself musing over this, I happened to log back into tumblr the other night and realised that I have over 12,000 people following me on here. I was reminded of the posts I used to share and things I would discuss, but in a way where it was not focused on engagement and increasing numbers but just giving an honest take on everything I've experienced and gone through in this calling of mine. Therefore I feel like it's time to put more attention back into the blog so I can get back to discussing the finer points of my filmmaking journey and share some weekly inspirations. Even if it only helps a few of you then I figure it's worth it, and it feels a cleaner and more focused way to keep people updated through my world.

As ever, I've got my instagram, but my twitter is no longer active due to the increasing hatred and right wing nature of the platform. I've turned over to bluesky instead which will largely be my 'twitter replacement'. I do have a threads account but it doesn't feel quite right! You can also find me on letterboxd, where I log and sometimes leave short reviews for films that compel me to do so.

With xmas approaching I'm thinking of taking a bit of a break from instagram again, especially now my new short film 'The Birdwatcher' has had it's cast and crew screening (more on that in my next post). I have my annual Xmas sabbatical from filmmaking approaching (2 weeks haha), and in that space I watch films, read books, eat food, chill out and just see what comes in my brain. In that space I might find myself writing on here or sharing stuff... We shall see!

But until then I wanted to share my intention to post more on here and commit to honest discussion of how things are developing in my career as a writer/director. I hope everyone's well, and if you've got any requests or want to ask a question then please do do and I'll do my best to get back to you.

Much love, Rx

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/711355362608119808/httpsattumblrcomlets-talk-spiritualityhttpsa?source=share

I’m on my iPad so I hope I spell everything right and I’m visiting my family and we’re having a early st pats party. Are you doing anything for st patty’s day? But they gave me a good pear martini. I’m chilling on the couch and it’s so coldddd and the martini is hitting me. I’m a light weight. Like no joke one drink and I need to lay down.

Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle too. The one member I can’t stand is John Lennon. Like I did a deep dive on the history of the Beatles one day and the more I read about Lennon and read his interviews I just can’t. Like I understand his contribution to music and I feel terrible about the way he died. But he kind of turned me off from the Beatles.

Aww I’m sorry to hear that happen with that guy and that it bought up those emotions and past trauma etc. I wish I could be like the fairy godmother from Cinderella and Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo a good man for you or offer some sage advice. But I’m sending u hugs, light, and love across the globe. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ hey maybe u fix that car up one day soon and find that special person on the big open road. Just maybe watch out for any hitchhikers. We want a love story movie not any horror movie crap, Yo have you ever watch the hallmark Christmas movies ? They’re like my guilty pleasure. 

I feel like watching some real cheesy romance movies. What’s your favorite ? 

But I saw these quotes 

https://perfectfeelings.tumblr.com/post/709991056494755840/when-it-rains-look-for-rainbows-when-its-dark

https://www.tumblr.com/onyx-collective/711406050866266112/quick-reminder-from-edwin-youre-a-main-btch?source=share  you da the main bi*ch ♥️ 

Also that’s really cool that you saw Venus and Jupiter in the sky! Do you have star filled sky’s where u live? It’s my dream to see the stars one day, all we can see in our sky is satellites and planes. Some people claim alien lights. Omg I’m remembering this song https://youtu.be/Aebgf1_iryI.

Even tho it’s hard to see the stars we always get the moon and last was cosmos moon 😉 let me know if u know which movie that’s from. 

But when I’m home home I’ll check out those music links. Thank you for sharing them. I didn’t bring my headphones with me. :,,,,/

I think I saw you like to build stuff? U built a bookshelf correct? What other stuff have u done? I’m a bit of a flipper and builder myself. I love flipping old furniture. I’m dreaming of a backyard again one day where I have my she shed and I can use my spray paints again. 

Also do u like to cook and/or bake? I tried making some sugar cookies and the recipe was trash, I should have known when I saw how low the liquid ingredients. I’m like why is this sand!? :,/

Omg my family gave the five minute warning before dessert. I’m not gonna lie I was thinking about swiping some cookies before but I behaved. But I saw sugar cookies and ice cream cake. It was so hard. 

But please have a wonderful weekend and I hope you feel better soonnn 🫂 I’m going to go wreck some cookies and my diet 🍪 

🎶

I know it’s taken me so long to respond! But I know you get me :)

I decided to be anti social for St Patty’s Day because I felt I was becoming too dependent on the social interactions with my friends. I could go for a pear martini, that sounds delish. I love pomegranate martinis too.

Yeah when I learned he abused Yoko I was very turned off. People try to sweep that under the rug and I understand having compassion but we should use it as a way to talk about why abuse isn’t okay.

Omg! Yes I love the hallmark ones and I’m dying. That’s exactly the type of meet cute I would have as a free spirited type. I mean I met this recent dude doing mushrooms at the beach. I have always romanticized hitchhiking myself so maybe that’s another meet cute :) 😂 My favs? I like how to lose a guy in ten days (maybe I like a little antagonism in my dynamics 🤭) , ten things I hate about you (when she stands up in class! And also it’s based on my favorite Shakespeare play) one day (I cry every time) a walk to remember (you’re my only hope) Yeah that feels right.

Thanks for those quotes! I’m always looking at the sky :) and I know! I’m a main bitch but I’m not acting like it. Sigh. I’ll get back there.

Yes I do! Light pollution is less in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I googled it but I don’t think I’ve seen that movie.

I’ve decided to be a handy bitch! So I built my bed too and a clothing rack. I actually don’t do much crafting or stuff like that because I move all the time so I don’t want to invest in buying things I can’t transport. I keep it light. Maybe one day tho! I watch those videos a lot and am mesmerized.

I can cook but I don’t do it because it’s just me. I just buy a lot of vegetarian or vegan frozen meals or eat out!

[stormblessed95]

Hi, did you see the videos of the boys dodging the items being thrown at them when they were on the carts. Jimin actually got hit. I just want people to understand how selfish and dangerous it is to throw things at them when the boys are not aware or are asking for it. I know people want to have their y/n moment but everybody’s safety should come first. It hurts to see what the boys have to deal w/ and I am highly upset at jimin getting hit. We shouldn’t have to remind others of concert etiquette but if it’s not handled privileges are likely to be taken away.

https://twitter.com/protectjimin13/status/1513073801889779720?s=21&t=sNxVJ6UrSqhhtbG7DgGPHQ

Its NOT okay. Look, this little throwing a flower thing started out super cute. But now everyone wants to do it, it's gotten completely out of hand. It's now disrespectful and not safe. THIS IS NOT OKAY. THATS TOO MUCH CRAP ON THOSE CARTS

And they CLEARLY ARE NOT INTERESTED

Literally ducking, dodging and moving away from people throwing shit at them. And being hit by it even at times. This is NOT okay. This is not endearing. This is a very good way to make these carts go away here in the US and not get the guys closer to ARMY.

MANNERS PEOPLE. REMEMBER YOUR MANNERS. Respect the members AND the people around you at the concert.

1. Don't hold your signs above chest level. It doesn't make you more likely to be noticed and all you are doing is being incredibly rude and blocking the views of the people around you

2. Don't THROW THINGS at the artists. I can't believe this has to be said. Unless you are acknowledged by the artist and given permission to toss whatever it is to them, keep it to your freaking self. In case you need to know what that permission looks like... ARMY holds it out and doesn't do anything with it at all until JK ASKS FOR IT. it's not a hard concept

Hobi pointed to the ARMY holding out flowers and motioning for her to toss them. NOT THROWING IT BEFORE HE ASKED

3. Do not sit In a seat that isn't yours. Do not stand on your chair to get a better view. Do not rush into "open" areas or outside of where your seat is to try and get closer to the members. This is all hazardous not only to YOURSELF, but the the people around you too. As well as being incredibly rude AND limiting the experience of others. It is also incredibly dangerous for disabled ARMYs because these "open" areas are *usually* ADA seating. So you are then putting them in danger, over crowding, AND running these Armys concert experience by ensuring they cannot see ANYTHING other than yalls rude asses.

Everyone wants their y/n moment, i get it. But none of them are going to look at you for 5 seconds and fall in love. I know everyone wants the best photos and videos possible, but this is not okay and its a very good way to ruin the experience for everyone involved, including the artists. Chill out and be respectful and safe.

4. WEAR YOUR GODDAMN MASKS THE WHOLE TIME. The boys all just got over having COVID and if yall aren't doing everything you can to keep them safe during this pandemic, which does include mask wearing and following other concert etiquette, shame on you.

Yall, if this doesn't stop, the carts might. The chance to be closer to them might stop in order to prioritize their safety and ARMYs safety. Don't ruin this for everyone. Wanna see what it looks like when ARMY respects their space, stays respectful and considerate of both each other and the members?? The members interact with them MORE.

Does JArmy have its own set of issues with fandom? Yes, every section of fandom does and will. But look at how wonderful they are about keeping the members safe, giving them space and not shoving each other, following nice concert etiquette and keeping each other safe..... We should all be doing BETTER

Please, please. Next week, army in Vegas, don't throw things like this at the members. Don't rush to try and get closer. We all need to be doing better 💜💜 I hope that everyone who does get to go to Vegas shows has an incredibly amazing time there as well!

[mt-words]

Can we get some dream smp fandom positivity posts? As someone who posts mostly analysis and has never once had someone say anything rude in response, I think we perceive the fanbase as more toxic than it is because of a few outspoken individuals. Y'all are pretty chill and I like you.

In no particular order-

I love that Eret’s fans come up with such cool theories, I swear she could give you two sentences of lore and I could see three five page essays on what it could mean about their character within an hour and each of them is unique, intricate, and makes logical sense.

I love the compilations Foolish fans make of him doing ridiculous things on stream, he’s a fun guy that never fails to make me laugh and everything I see from them embodies that energy to me.

I love how creative Hannah’s fans are, you take the awesome ideas she has and turn them into the most amazing designs and concepts.

I love that Techno’s fans might write a ten page essay about his character or just say they enjoy watching him do crime, and you never know which it will be because both come from the same people.

I love how Philza’s fans embrace everything he does with so much enthusiasm. His chat is a flock of crows? Excellent, they can work with that, you will see fifty incredible pieces of art and a hundred theories in the first hour and they’re just getting started.

I love that Niki’s fans are so careful to pay attention and not miss any details. It has been ages and I still see occasional mentions and theories about the “Dear Friend” letter.

I love that Fundy’s fans are very empathetic, they love to find and elaborate on the connections between characters and that’s pretty cool!

I love Tommy’s fans for their energy. They seem passionate about making things right and hopeful that no matter what your situation is things can get better. I’ve seen so many breathtakingly emotional art pieces from this side of the fandom.

I love that George’s fans unapologetically simp for him but then catch me off guard by making deep insights about his character.

I love how Bad’s fans are as genuinely sweet as he is, they’re willing to really look at everything that makes up a character and see the tragedy of it and have compassion about things. And some just want to see an egg rule the server, c'mon, it would be funny.

I love the running gag with Skeppy fans of making Skeppy critical posts, y’all are hilarious.

I love how Purpled fans play up his lack of lore as him being an incredibly powerful cryptid, and they’re right. He totally carried the wither fight on Nov 16th.

I love the balance Quackity fans have between a love of humor, justice, and darker topics. I think like Quackity they are often underestimated and thought of as the jokester side of the fandom to an extent, and then I start reading things they write and it’s well thought out and insightful.

I love that Tubbo’s fans love chaos, cute things, or both to an unhealthy extent. Seeing anything from them reminds me of princess unikitty in all the best ways, and then they turn around and throw a super in depth meaningful analysis at me in the next breath.

I love everything about Sapnap’s fans. Y'all are perfect. The writing and art from the born in fire line? Gold.

I love how Jschlatt fans are generally chill and just enjoy whatever they want to. Their favorite Manburg president was the one who publicly executed his right hand man and gave Dream a resurrection book for firepower, and he looked good doing it.

I love that Callahan has fans. You people are dedicated and I respect it. The fact that Callahan was one of the first names to pop up when everyone was trying to figure out who Harpocrates was even though he rarely involves himself with plot? Your influence knows no bounds.

I love that Alyssa’s fans are simply too powerful. She hasn’t played on the smp since way before I started watching and there are still people defending her barn and drawing pictures of her.

I love that Antfrost’s fans have taken so many ideas and just ran with them and made them awesome. Like him practicing magic? Perfect, he now carries potions and gets a wizard hat.

I love that Dream fans look at a character who has been portrayed as pure evil from many points of view and understand that Everyone has motives based on their situation, even if it isn’t handed to us in an easily understood way.

I love how Jack’s fans are so ready to support any action he takes. Crawling out of hell? Incredible. Killing a child? Good for him! Go team Rocket. Grieving the same child? Learning healthy coping, he’s the coolest.

I love that Connor eats Pants fans are the most reasonable people in this fandom. This is terrifying. Thank you for your service, you always make me smile.

I love that Punz fans unapologetically just love their capitalist mercenary. As they should, his presence always tips the scales and everything he does brings more depth to the characters and plots he interacts with.

I love how much Ranboo fans love complexity. Most of them aren’t afraid to admit that their favorite characters are flawed, because aren’t those flaws what make them interesting and relatable?

I love the variety of Hbomb fans. Half of them may be embracing the cat maid bit while the other half goes on about how impactful and cool L’cast is, but they’re all super chill.

I appreciate that Puffy fans take the time to understand so many perspectives. So many posts I see involving her tie in lore from other characters and find interesting ways to connect them and build them together, kind of like Puffy herself.

I love that Wilbur fans seem to approach the story like they’re solving a puzzle, carefully piecing together details from months apart to figure out how and why everything goes down.

I love how hard Ponk fans work to spread awareness of how awesome he is. Ponk says and does wonderful things and is very fun to watch. I never would have tried his content without them.

I love that Karl fans saw him wanting to be involved and started coming up with such cool ideas around his character that they actually made them canon. Correct me if I’m wrong, wasn’t the time traveler thing a fan theory at first?

I love the creativity Sam fans have with his design and their willingness to discuss complex moral issues. Sam is involved in some heavy lore stuff but he and his fans keep things entertaining and calm.

I’m sure I missed some things, please feel free to add on!

[astaroth1357]

My Protective Demon and Me: How to Live with Your Overly-Protective Hellspawn!

Intro:

So you've bagged yourself a demon, huh? Well, there are many great benefits to dating the otherworldly creatures of Hell, including increased power, longevity, and security! We can assure you that your demon boyfriend wants nothing more than to keep you safe, dear human, but this can be a new experience for the uninitiated. Never fear, because we have put together this guide to help you navigate the relationship you've just signed your soul into! My Protective Demon and Me is an instructional tool for your new demonic partnership, designed to introduce you to the protective tendencies of Seven Rulers of Hell. Listen to our advice, and you won't be left wondering why your boyfriend insists on carrying you down the stairs or loses his mind when you're injured by paper!

(Warnings: Possessive Behaviors, Implied PTSD, Yandere-ish)

Lucifer 

Now, there's no kind way to say this, but Lucifer will think of you as small, weak, and helpless on most days. We promise it's not quite as insulting as it sounds because to him, that just makes you cuter.

Because he thinks you're so pathetic, he will want to provide for you in all sorts of ways. This includes security.

Lucifer's approach to keeping you safe is a little indirect, and it may sound a tad… invasive, but that's only because he's not able to be with you in person as often as he'd like.

He uses familiars spread across the Devildom to keep an eye on you during the day. Don't fret; these familiars aren't there to tell him about your every waking breath. Just monitor you and report back to him if something's amiss.

If there's an alert, he will drop everything to be sure that you're alright. The second he knows something's wrong, he'll be right with you within a minute, Diavolo be damned. 

He may try to play it off as he just happened to be in the area if others are around, but in truth, he'd use magic to recall himself to your side. 

Speaking of magic… Again, since he can't be with you as much as he wants, you may begin to notice your body getting stronger to a certain degree over your time with him. Is he secretly using magical means to strengthen your bones or make your skin harder to tear? He will never say, so best not ask.

Potential threats against you are dealt with discreetly, mostly under the guise of safeguarding the exchange program for Diavolo. No offenders will ever make it to the castle dungeon, though, as Lucifer tends to finish them off on sight... We recommend that you make yourself scarce during these times. Torture is such a nasty thing to witness...

Lucifer would like to believe that, in being with him, you're the safest that you could possibly be, but he always worries about what danger you're in while he's busy with work. A part of him blames his lack of vigilance over Lilith for her downfall, and he has strained to recover a sense of security over his loved ones ever since... Though he may come across as overbearing, just know he only watches you that closely because he couldn't bear to lose you.

Mammon

If you've won over Mammon's heart, then he's going to guard you as fiercely as a dragon does its treasure. But be warned because this can lead to confrontation...

Mammon will see himself as your bodyguard of sorts, so he'll try to be around you at all hours of the day. He'll start by making excuses like he needs study help, but after a while, he'll just hope you come to accept him as a constant fixture in your life and don't question his hovering.

He will stick very close to you in public, particularly when among other demons. He's the second strongest of his brothers, so this alone should deter most threats but don't be surprised if you see him scan the room you're in from time to time.

Take care not to hurt yourself around Mammon because he has yet to fully process how fragile the human body is. He may panic upon seeing you hurt (and he's not the most helpful when he's panicking…).

Should you get hurt when Mammon is near, you may see his protective instincts spike considerably. He will offer to carry heavy packages, refuse to let you handle sharp objects, and hold out a hand to steer you around tight corners.

Do not threat, this added level of attention is only temporary. Remind Mammon that accidents are a part of human life, and you can get yourself through them as the species normally does. 

If someone actually tries to hurt you, we advise you to stay calm and focus on getting harmed as little as possible. Unfortunately, there will be no good way to talk Mammon out of fighting in your defense. It's best to focus on minimizing the damage to yourself and staying alive until help can be brought to you.

Mammon does this not to look down on you, but because he loves you so deeply, he's devastated any time he sees you hurt. Be patient with him, and he will learn to draw back his fear to a more appropriate level. Always know, though, that he worries about you constantly, so try not to give his demonic heart too many palpitations - yes?

 Leviathan 

Levi is in some ways more chill than his brothers, and in others far more extreme depending on the location you find yourselves in.

If you are in his room (which you will be a lot), then he will be very relaxed. As far as he's concerned, you are in his domain and thus perfectly safe. There's no need to worry about you getting hurt or stumbling upon any rivals.

If you are together in the outside world, however, he will be very on edge. You are the most important individual in his life, so any possibility of you leaving him by death or by choice is not acceptable.

He will try his damnedest to steer you away from large crowds or packed spaces because he will be terrified of losing you in the chaos. Being in any public place where he can't see you will drive his anxiety through the roof. His imagination is quite active, and his mind is always against him.

If you are with his brothers, then he will be particularly tense. He acknowledges both their capacity to drag you into dangerous shenanigans AND steal away your affections, neither of which are options he'd like to pursue.

He will rarely let you be alone with his brothers without express permission, and even then, he has likely shot a threat to them about minding your safety (and your relationship) beforehand. As he is third strongest, only Mammon and Lucifer would ignore his "requests" but only to a point. It's a terrible mess whenever he summons Lotan in the House…

If someone else hurts you retribution will be swift (and bordering on lethal) because he's far more worried about getting back to making sure you're alright. He won't have his Henry dying on his watch, after all.

If you happen to hurt yourself, expect him to stow you away in his room for even longer than usual. Your accidental demise is a recurring fear of his, so he will need a great deal of reassurance that you are still with him and not quite at death's door just yet (yes, even if you get a papercut).

Leviathan is so protective of you because he feels like he has the most to lose if you died/left. He interacts with so few people that having even one show him patience is a game-changer. He would have the hardest time moving on should your presence ever leave him, so protecting you is the best thing he can do to protect himself from that pain in the future.

Satan

Satan's protective nature is less overt than the others, but in many ways, it's more… intense.

He's more familiar than the others with the fragility of human bodies thanks to many years of casual study. Thus, he has bulked up his knowledge of your species in earnest to help keep you safe.

What we mean to say is, fear not, you're now dating a doctor. He may not have an M.D. to his name, but he's pretty damn close.

He will want to know about any slight inconvenience you may be experiencing, from a slight headache all the way to broken bones. He prefers to diagnose your problem quickly then use any combination of magic or medicine to heal your ailments. You will rarely struggle with ongoing discomfort again!

That being said, he can be quite pushy. There will be no, "I'll just sleep it off" with him. If it can be fixed, he will fix it. Your patience be damned.

If you somehow manage to hurt yourself… He will be disappointed, but he will not deny you assistance. He will lecture you if he sees you doing potentially reckless activities, though, because it's his (self-imposed) job to patch you up afterward.

It should really go without saying that most demons know better than to hurt someone he loves. He may not be the strongest of his brothers, but he is among the least merciful, and that does make a difference.

If, for whatever reason, one actually does manage to harm you, then you have an important choice to make. Do you allow him to act on his anger or be the one to show mercy when he will not? If you'd like to be charitable, please consult our helpful material, How to Calm Your Demon Boyfriend: Tame Demons, Save Lives.

At his core, Satan worries about his demonic side because he knows how easily his Wrath can take over. So he does his best to circumvent these destructive tendencies with nurturing ones. He may come off like a worrywart, but helping you is just as much an assurance to him as it is a service to you. He's not destined to hurt you. He can heal you instead.

Asmodeus 

Asmo is a free-spirited individual who would like to afford you the same freedom that he enjoys… but he knows very well how fragile the human body is. He's had many human lovers over the years, so he's very familiar with your limitations.

However, he's also aware of how capable you can be despite your perceived weaknesses (he's been friends with Solomon for years, after all).

Unfortunately, this won't stop him from worrying about your safety entirely. It's nothing personal, we assure you. He simply wants to be sure the love of his life can be with him for as long as possible.

Asmo shows his protectiveness most when confronted. He's far more worried about some demonic lowlife taking advantage of you than he is you falling off a step ladder. He understands that accidents will happen and that most are ultimately harmless, but other people? They can do you far more harm.

Due to his disposition and rank, most demons won't take his claim to you seriously. This is to their folly. Though he may not be physically strong as his elder brothers or even Beel, what he lacks in raw power he makes up for in deception.

Like Mammon and Levi, Asmo will want to be close to you out in public, but he will come across as far more relaxed than those two. This is partly due to his more developed confidence and because it makes it easier for him to charm potential threats into leaving you alone. Things are taken care of quickly after that.

Should you get injured well… Asmo will not be much help for anything aside from getting you to someone who actually can. He'd likely panic worse than Mammon, so do your best to remain calm and assure him that you will be fine after a little assistance.

His treatment of you post-injury won't differ much from how it usually is, because again, he knows that when there's a human involved - it's bound to happen.

Asmo's fear of others, both tragically and ironically, stems from his sin itself. Though he always tries to champion his partners' consent, he knows more than anyone that others can let their Lust drive them mad... His worst nightmare is letting you fall victim to one of those monsters because, frankly, he wouldn't know what to do with himself if that ever were to happen.

Beelzebub 

Beel is protection incarnate. This is something he's been doing long before you met and will likely continue to do until the end of his days. Protecting those he loves is in his nature.

That being said, this means is you are dating the equivalent of a demon-shaped Doberman Pinscher, loving and loyal to you and an absolute nightmare to your enemies.

Though he doesn't feel quite the same need to hang off you as Mammon might, Beel's protection can be likened to something like a hired-bodyguard. Close, but not too close, and always vigilant almost to a territorial degree.

If someone Beel doesn't like approaches you, he may growl at them. We would recommend you heed his warning. Beel is generally a good judge of character, and if something strikes him as off, then there may be cause for concern.

Fortunately for you, Beel does not jump to conclusions nor confrontation very often. Though he may act intimidating, he won't make any moves unless given an "Okay" from you beforehand.

This, however, does NOT apply if someone actually hurts you in any way. Though he may seem sweet and wholesome, please remember, he is a demon and the demon of Gluttony at that. Someone will be eaten for their transgressions, but he would rather you not watch if possible.

Truthfully, what will scare Beel far more than possible attackers are injuries in and of themselves. He has what basic first aid is afforded to anyone who plays sports but is nowhere near qualified to save you from something life-threatening... Should you become injured or sick, it would devastate him that he can no longer take care of you. He may even be at risk of a small breakdown as a result.

The events of Celestial War have perhaps taken their heaviest toll on Beel. Whether it's true or not, he carries a lot of the blame for what happened on his shoulders... The idea of going through something like that again, but now with you, scares him more than anything. Please remember, under that kind exterior lies dormant wounds that will likely remain unhealed long after you're gone...

Belphegor 

Belphegor is a strange case because, in some respects, he is one of the most possessive of the brothers... But he's also the least overtly protective.

Part of it is, yes, his inherent laziness. Following you around all day would be quite a hassle. He also can't expect you to stay in bed with him 24/7 (not that he lets that stop him from trying). Even setting up complex background machinations to keep an eye on you would be too much work...

But that doesn't mean that he leaves you alone entirely. If there is one thing that Belphegor tries to shield you from, it's his brothers. For possessive reasons, yes, but also as a form of protection.

Belphie is acutely aware of how often his brothers' shenanigans can lead to disaster. As such, he'll try to drag you out of their problems as much as possible.

It's not lost on him that the events that lead to your first demise were all due your penchant for meddling in his brothers' affairs. So in his eyes, a fairly simple and effective way to keep you out of trouble would be to keep you from them as much as possible.

As far as injuries go… "He dislikes seeing you hurt" is the least complicated way of putting things. Seeing you with major injuries obviously triggers some uncomfortable and unwanted memories for him, as it would for you. However, his emotions quickly get muddled up in it...

The sudden combination of fear, panic, shame, and anger can strike him at once and leave him in a frozen or vulnerable state... Painful for sure, but also not helpful in that situation. Minor injuries, thankfully, do not cause this reaction.

If you're injured and Belphegor appears to be going through trauma, we recommend calling for assistance from someone nearby or a different brother if possible (Satan would be a good option). Once you're stable, Belphegor will be relaxed somewhat but may need some cuddling.

Even with his lazy attitude, Belphegor does care for you and will try to keep you safe in his own way.  He may hide the intensity of his emotions behind a veil of apathy, but they run so strong that they can be paralyzing. Never doubt that he does love you, and try your best to be there for him when things become difficult...

More from the How-To series in Masterlist 1.0; More recent HCs in Masterlist 2.0

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Teddy

Notes: This is my entry for @pagesoflauren Prompts:

So, this is love” from “So This is Love” by Ilene Woods and Mike Douglas from Cinderella

“Um, you...you fight good.” from Mulan

“This reminded me of you.”

Warnings: 18 +Only, dark themes, Dubious consent due to alcohol consumption, drunken sex, fingering, out door sex

Summary: a corporate event turns into hazy regret

Dark(maybe more grey) CEO Steve x Reader

🐻

Why they decided to hold a corporate event in the middle of the work week was beyond you. But you could only blame yourself for the alcohol consumption you partook in. Your head and body ached. You had taken a few aspirin before getting to work, but it didn't sooth the pains rippling through your body. Last night was a fog that you could barely piece together, but you weren't worried. You had made it home safe and your office mates had not blown up your phone with anything salacious.

You frowned at the continuous slowed traffic at your cubical when you approached. When you spotted the source you were surprised. A sweet little box with an oversized bow sat on top of your keyboard with a tiny little note. Your coworkers all past your station giggling amongst themselves as they spied it. You felt the heat of all the attention permeate your face as you rushed to stash it away.

Taking your seat before your monitor you hid the parcel. You waited patiently until you felt no one was paying you any mind. Had someone miss placed this? Curious you read the note. “This reminded me of you.” Flipping it over no name.

You untie the bow and opened it carefully.

"Did you like it?" Steve's sudden voice made you bristle.

You fumble with the box, dropping it, spilling the contents as he leaned on your cubical wall.

"Um sorry?" you looked at him confused.

"I was thinking of getting rid of this thing, but now"

he scratched at his beard as you wrinkled your brow at him. His name was called before he could clarify his point. The distraction pulled him away, but not before he shot you a sly wink.

That was strange.

With him away you reached down to pick up the fallen gift. You rose slowly lifting a new coffee mug, turning it you see a yellow cartoon teddy bear smiling at you.

Your eyes grew round as a flood of memories drowned you. Flashes of the night before filled in gaps you had brushed off until now.

🐻

The night before

You were an expert at avoiding company events, but when the email read mandatory you groaned. The biannual event was a must for all employees foreign and domestic.

You didn't hate your company, you actually loved it. Everyone was friendly, it was a stark contrast to the cut throat companies you were used to. It was just that social events made you feel painfully awkward.

The venue was massive. Every odd person asked which office you worked in and what department you belonged to. You smiled and made short talk as you searched for a place to hide until the event was over. It was very draining, being an introvert you could only handle so much social interaction.

The corporate sponsored libations helped get you through the most part. Snatching a drink from every waiter that passed with a tray. It was an easy, trick gulp down the glass then motion to the empty cup before departing the group signaling you are going to find more. An easy out that had you buzzed, but you felt as though you were holding together well. When you found your hiding spot you breathed easier, taking the seat hidden behind a column, you played with your phone until the event whined down.

"Hey your in accounting right?"

You looked up from the phone to find John Walker. He smiled softly, slipping into the empty seat next to you. "Oh no, sorry.."

"Why are you hiding away by yourself?" He cut you off. You reached for your half empty flute and took a big gulp. Swallowing it down before tapping the glass, signaling your exit just as he began to crowd you into the corner space.

"How do you like it here?" He asked you another question stifling your exit. You could feel his breath on your face as you tried to lean away, but his arm stretched out pulling you closer.

A yelp escaped your lips when his other hand found your thigh. You don't want to cause a scene, but you want him to give you space. Your hiding space was too good. No one noticed or cared that you were trapped by a fellow colleague. "I need to-"

John pulled you down when you tried to stand and excuse yourself. "Hey" the scent of his drink finally hit your nose. "You cant leave before we cheers." His grip on you felt so firm that you worried if you upset him, his smile seemed strained and his eyes roamed you uncomfortably. John suddenly lifted the hand from your shoulder and snapped his fingers in the air, signaling a server to bring more drinks to the table. "One more drink huh? Bad luck not to cheers with everyone you know?"

You gripped your phone so hard you felt it imprint on your palm. You just wanted to go home. When the serve dropped the glasses John pushed one at you. To appease him you took it. Maybe he would leave after this. He raised his glass and you did the same. "To a fruitful quarter."

You murmured and repeated him. The glasses clinked before you both took a drink. This drink hit you harder than before, but you chugged it down anyway.

When John finished his glass he cloaked you. His eyes filled with a hunger that had you leaning further back into the back of your chair. He kept coming so close no matter how you shifted in your seat to gain distance. "Please I need to go home" you begged as he roamed up your skirt.

When his eyes bulged you were confused before you felt relief. John fell away from you, hitting the floor hard as a hulk of a man appeared standing over him. John did not appreciate it, hopping to his feet. You tried to stand yourself, but the room spun and swayed with such force you fell back on your seat. John and your savior blurred as you try to focus. You squinted as John pushed back on the stranger only to find his chin connecting with a right hook. His body fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes as you watched everything in slow motion.

It was so surreal seeing John laid out. You looked up to see the founder standing above him. Steve Rogers was the man behind the knockout punch. You snorted, laughing loudly at the ridiculousness. There was no way you saw that correctly.

He turned his attention to you, mouthing words at you, but you couldn't understand them. People began to crowd around John and your table. You were becoming the center of attention and that filled you with an urge to escape.

"I want to go home." You whimpered lowly, as you found it hard to move with so many people around. You reached your limit, there were too many eyes, too many voices, you felt trapped yet again.

"Where do you live?" His voice cut through everyone else. It sounded so concerned yet sweet it set you at ease. You slurred out the destination as he helped you up from the seat.

He felt so warm, firm and safe that you couldn't help, but cuddle into his side as he guided you out.

Your eyes started to feel heavy as your body floated along. “Um, you...you fight good.” you blurted out making him chuckle. "Thank you" you slurred out the complement. Your yawn muffled his response as your eyes closed and you slipped into sleep.

🐻

Your head lolled on the back of the leather seat as a chill nipped at your body. "It's too cold" you groaned missing the warmth that sent you to slumber.

"I miss warm" you whined tilting your head to the side, squinting at the blurry blob that resembled the sun. You reached out to find the source of warmth, but got jerked back by a restraint, you grumbled and frowned when you found a seat belt.

"Hey sleepy head." It sounded like Mr.Rogers. You had heard his voice many times over many corporate calls and monthly meetings, but that was preposterous. There was no way the high powered CEO was talking to you.

"Give me warm" you whined again, your eyes still heavy as you tried to focus on their face. You attempted once more to reach your hand out, this time your finger tips clumsily grazed over a nose before trailing up to gelled hair. "Oop. Watch it you almost blinded me there." He laughed lightly as the car swerved a bit. "Ok ok settled down I'll turn on the AC." The click and whoosh of the heater elevated the chill a bit.

"Sorry I run a little hot. Does this help?"

You hummed with delight as a warm hand reached out to glide up and down your thigh in comforting strokes. Your fingers played in the sleeked geld locks. Your thighs absorb the warmth of his hand as he kneaded your skin.

"You have arrived at your destination" the robotic voice announced.

"Yay!" Clapping your hands together ready to go to bed.

"Don't like parties huh?"

"I like home better." You yawned still very tired.

"Yeah me too" he agreed as the warm hand in your lap left. You whimpered in disappointment as a car door opened and closed. You stayed lazy sat in place too tired to move, closing your eyes welcoming sleep once again.

"Come on let's get you home." He grunted as he reached over you, waking you slightly. The smell of his cologne filled your nose as you heard the distinct click of your seat belt and feel of the strap slide away.

"Who are you?" You genuinely inquired.

He pulled you from the seat and stood you up against the car. Your body sagged, but he kept you standing. "Don't remember me, huh?" He huffed dragging you out. "Steve. Steve Rogers." He told you as he tried to keep you steady while closing the door.

"Your face is soo fluffy" you giggled as you grabbed at his beard. "No! Your not Steve! Your teddy" you dubbed shouting at him, cupping his face as you brought him closer. "You feel so good teddy."

"You think so?" Steve chuckled excepting his new nickname.

Stepping closer he pressed his weight on you and chuckled, boxing you between him and the car. "Fluffy teddy bear man" you giggled again as his cologne once again invaded your nose.

"You smell good too" you confessed as he leaned closer. His lips tilted into a devilish grin as you leaned forward to inhale along his neck. His strong hands held your hips before squeezing when you licked at him. "Tasted good too."

"Bad girl." Steve admonished leaning away from you. "Bad teddy" you frowned, pulling him closer by his blazer. "Keep me warm teddy." You pouted.

"Like that?" Steve questioned as his palms slipped down your waist then road up your thigh. You gasped when he ascended up and under your skirt. You nodded 'yes' allowing his brazened hand to slip into your panties, cupping your mound. The car rocked a bit as he leaned all his weight on you, sinking into you. His bristly beard hairs tickled your neck as you panted wildly into the cold air.

"Do you like how I make you feel?" Steve asked trailing up and over your lips. You moan a 'yes' into his mouth while you pushed into his palm urging him on.

Steve tried to pull his hand from you, but you squeezed your thighs together, not allowing him to retreat. "No teddy don't leave" you begged pouting. Steve smiled at the nickname while plunging deep in your core, curling his digits inside of you.

Your skirt road high off your ass and you felt the chill of the door on your exposed cheeks. You didn't care, you just wanted more. Lifting your leg Steve hooked it around his waist. "I love you teddy" you proclaimed drunk off his touch.

"Oh yeah" he growled in your ear, sending fire down your neck as he kissed you all over. You felt your panties pushed to the side as he pressed his sheathed need on you.

"Ummm mmm" you hummed eager for him to do more. Steve steady you with one hand while his other fumbled with the front of his pants. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and your hips pushed forward. Waiting impatiently you bite your lip giving him a pleading look. "Love you so much teddy."

"So this is love?" Steve swirled his cock in your juices, teasing as he pressed hard along your eagerness. "Don't tease" you slapped at him frowning. "You want teddy to love you?" he groaned pressing his tip hard against your entrance. You nod 'yes' and hiss as his cock slowly stretched you open. You welcomed the strain while another warmth burst from your core. Your fingers tangled in his hair while Steve kissed you passionately. You panted wildly as Steve picked up speed, rutting you against the car door. "So this..." Steve stretched out each word, thrusting into you hard and deep, your slick him thoroughly. You chanted 'yes' allowing him to rut you against the car. Steve's thickness made you quiver. Despite being out in the world it felt as if you were the only two left on earth. "This is love" he sighed pushing as deep as he could go.

The warmth of him exploded all around you, melting you into him deliciously. You dissolved into him, slipping mindlessly into ecstasy.

🐻

[excujeemi]

D R U N K [ Ray X Reader ]

Age: around 18 Genre: Fluff Warnings: UHhh, adult jokes (??) and mentions of alcohol

Simple, you know, you were graduating high school and moving on to college of course there'd be parties. And there's only three words to describe this party you're in? Wild as fuck. Man, some were playing beer pong, some were making out, it was just so chaotic you don't even remember as to why you were here in the first place... Oh yeah, your parents forced you to get some human interaction every once in a while.

You thought this party would be very shit and unenjoyable but look at you now, everyone around you was cheering you on to chug , c h u g  , c  h  u  g . And chug you did.

You were already dizzy but you know this is that moment, that sweet moment of youth (??) perhaps and there's the adrenaline and the feeling that you're on top of the world, it's like you can just do anything you want for example, peeing in your annoying neighbor's backyard but let's not take that idea personally-

You were just about to open another bottle of alcohol but then someone stopped you, a hand gripped on your wrist which surprised you, you looked up to see whose hand it was and saw Ray frowning. That's typical, when is he not frowning anyway.

Well, Ray is one of your closest friends, your parents are also both close to each other so it just makes sense. And Ray being the most trusted person of your mother, she asked him if he could pick you up since it was getting kinda late. You know if they were just gonna end up worrying about you then why even force you to get some of that, "human interaction", they're just  exaggerating.

"Oh, hey Ray my beloved , what're you doing here?" You smugly asked as he helped you stand up but your feet kept on tripping and so you slipped, with your hand on Ray's shoulder causing him to fall on top of you while the people surrounding you both were teasing you, you felt Ray's hot breath hitting your neck while his large hands were supporting your back to protect you from directly falling. The close space between the both of you caused Ray's face to turn into a tomato, red flushed cheeks, wide eyes, he lowkey wished you both could stay like that for more time. "You idiot, get up already its almost 4am." He says as he quickly got up and tried to take your heavy ass up. "wAiT, mY bAg and mY phOne, And mY StufF are-" "Shh, shh. I got them all now shut it." He says as he shows you your bag from his other hand, he opened the door with his foot and kicked it close. "Hey Ray, aren't you getting to close, haah~?" You seductively whispered in his ear making him blush for the second time. He rolled his eyes, 'Patience, you must stay calm.' He thinks to himself. "Haah~?" Okay, he decided that was it. "Why don't you walk by yourself then, the parking lot is still quite far from where we are, walk by yourself good luck tripping over everything." He lets go of you while you had trouble tryna regain your posture. "I can walk, don't-d-don't you underestimate the power of this wild creature." You pointed to yourself while making a karate pose.

Ray was annoyed, his eye was twitching and he really did want to abandon you there. "Okay, I'll lead the way then." After a few seconds, everything was going well, he takes a few glances back at you to see how you're doing because apparently if you trip and die he'd be blamed  by your parents. Then he saw you weren't by his side, well obviously not because you kept on slowing down but you really were out of his sight and this worried him by a lot. 'If only Emma and Norman were here to back me up with this dumbass' But for real, he was worried, it had only been a few seconds--what if someone took you or something. He ran a few steps back and looked everywhere and there you fucking were, talking to a celebrity cardboard cutout. "Oh my fucking gosh, this dimwit. Y/n!" He sighs as he massaged his temples. He ran to you and pulled you by your arm. "Ugh, stOp, I'm still flirting with this hot man." You whined as you tried to wriggle your arm out of Ray's hand. He didn't know whether to leave you alone or laugh at you there. "You blockhead, that's...that's a Justin Bieber cardboard cut out for fuck's sake..." Ray was about to explode at this point, you were making him want to combust. "Please, dOn't take me way, I have no flirt with!" "I'll flirt with you all you want just--let's go already this is so embarrassing!" He said to improvise but your drunk self actually believed that he'd flirt with you. "Really?" You asked and he just nods while closing his eyes, annoyed. "YaaaY~, Ray my beloved will flirt with me, I'm the happiest person in the worlll ever." To be honest, Ray would love to hear those words while you're not drunk but he can't help but blush again remembering what Norman used to say, "Drunk people always say what they truly think." He shook his head and as soon as you arrived at the parking lot, he pushed you gently into the backseat. Thankfully, you spent that whole time without saying anything, you were literally just staring at the car's ceiling like a dead person which was creepy. He arrived at your house and it seemed that everyone was asleep so he had to use the spare keys he has. He then opened the door, carrying you bridal style and the hallways were quite narrow so he felt sorry whenever your head hit some walls or table. 💀 lmfao. He carefully placed you on your bed, while you were almost sound asleep. Boy, times like this remind him of deep in love he is with you. You know maybe he should just confess of something.

He smiled and tucked in some hair behind you ear. Very wholesome situation, well until you tugged his arm for him to come closer so he thought you had something to say, when he finally got close you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly which shocked him by a lot. It was comfortable to be in your arms, if only he could stay there a bit more longer. :'). "H-Hey what are you trying to do? Let go of me, Y/n." He softly whispered, his hot breath hitting you once again but a bit more closer which caused you to hug him tighter. "Dream on." And since you really wouldn't let go of him, and he didn't have enough will to force himself out of your hold, he decided to just stay there. It was 4am and your warmth was more than enough to make him sleepy. Next morning: You woke up with someone in your arms, it was very comfortable. 'Oh it's just Ray..wait what--RAY??' "HOLY SHIT RAY! WAKE UP! WAKE-" His hand covered your mouth as his half-asleep eyes stared at you. "What are you so loud in the morning for?" Man, his morning voice could kill. Shaking your head quickly to shoo away the simp thoughts, you built up the courage to ask him this one cliche question. "Di-Did we perhaps, you know? Do the thing?" Of course Ray was not dumb but he can be an ass. Smirking, he asks with an innocent tone, "What do you mean by thing ?" "Oh my--you know what I mean! Stop acting dumb-" "Oh you mean sex?" He stared at you for a while, keeping that smirk of his on his face while seeing you so flustered and red. "Why do you have to be so blunt, this is why I hate you.." You said as you buried your face into one of your pillows. "Chill, woman. We didn't do that. You did do something dumb last night though." He chuckles as he removes the pillow away from your red face. "Please kill me--what is it?" "Well you just flirted with a Justin Bieber Cutout, nothing new." "I really did that?" You cried as you started mentally smashing your head on a rock. "Yes, yes you did." As soon was those words of confirmation came out of his mouth, you started getting flashbacks again, "Dude, I'll never be drunk again." "That's a good idea. But if you never get drunk again you might never hug me again the way you did last night." 'The way I did last night?...' What did he even mean by that... "What do you mean?" "Want a demonstration?" ..... THE END lol bye this was so bad ahvdusvud - Follow me on wattpad - @excujeemi Join my discord server !! https://discord.gg/wXSuKBXMXt