#seireitei bulletin

[bleach-smashorpass]

Submit your favorite Rangiku and/or Renji images.

For one day only I am opening up submissions for you, dear voters, to submit your favorite images of Rangiku and/or Renji for their upcoming tiebreak poll. There are a few guidelines.

Images must be from the manga!

If submitting black-and-white images, please tell me the volume or chapter they're from so I can source them in color.

You may submit illustrations, so long as they're by Kubo (think the chapter title images and such.)

[recurring-polynya]

i think hisagi should wake up one day and choose violence (finally let byakuya have a column in the bulletin where he rates other people's bankai)

[bleached-socks]

Seireitei Bulletin: Seireitei Sexyman Tournament Edition

By Shuhei Hisagi

The Women’s Soul Reaper Association has recently announced that they will be hosting a Seireitei Sexyman Tournament. They presented it as a fundraising event, although it is unclear how exactly the intend to raise money with the event.

To help promote the event, they’ve asked the Seireitei Bulletin to cover this event.

The first round has been split up into two sections. Then both sides twill combine and continue towards championship. At the end, we will find out who is truest the sexiest man in the Seireitei.

But before that, I wanted to get a comment from all of the people in the first part of round one. And here are those comments.

“Well look at that, a Sexyman contest. This will definitely be interesting.” -Captain Shunsui Kyoraku

“Oh yeah! Time to prove how sexy I am!” -Lieutenant Marechiyo Omaeda

“I’m just happy to have been included.” -Former Kido Corps Lieutenant Hachigen Ushoda

“I’m… not sure why I have been included.” -Former Captain Kaname Tosen

“How did you find me? I faked my death, how did you find me?” -Former Captain Isshin Kurosaki

“As president of the Men’s Soul Reaper Association, I swear that I will secure this victory.” -Lieutenant Tetsuzaemon Iba

“I do not know what this ‘Sexyman’ contest is, but I certain I will win it.” -Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi

“WHY IS AIZEN HERE?!?!” -Captain Shinji Hirako

“A competition? That’s wonderful, who do I get to fight? What, I don’t get to fight anyone? Then what’s the point? I’m going to bed.” -Captain Kenpachi Zaraki

“Not entirely sure how I made the cut, hell yeah!” -Unseated Officer Zennosuke Kurumadani

“Uh, glad to be here I guess.” -Lieutenant Izuru Kira

“What a marvelous idea this is. I cannot wait to see how it goes.” -Former Kido Corps Captain Tessai Tsukabishi

“I am enjoying the horrified faces of everyone here, especially Hirako’s. Good. They should be afraid of me.” -Former Captain Sosuke Aizen

“Oh, um, I was included? Wow, that’s incredible. I doubt I’ll make it very far but, uh, it’s cool that I got to be in it.” -Unseated Officer Ryuunosuke Yuki

“Hrmn.” -Head Captain Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto

“A Sexyman test?

A wonderful idea

This is exciting” -Captain Rōjūrō “Rose” Ōtoribashi

And there you have it, words from each of the first half’s contestants. I’ll be back next week with the rest of the competitors’ comments, as well as an interview with the Women’s Soul Reaper Association.

If you haven’t voted in the tournament yet, you can find it here

Until next time,

Shuhei Hisagi

[irlkisukeurahara]

@v-a-l-e-n-jill-t-i-n-e

Shuuhei got wind of the rumors. It is over for Byakuya. There's no beating the homosexual allegations now!

[bleach-your-panties]

↬keep up with what's happening in squad 3三!

click here for general🖱

click here for kinktobercandyshop'23🍭

click here for 💔🖤mha bad boyfriends

[sentencedtodramaforlife]

I feel that Kensei's acts of affection in public is something like "aggressively shoving bento into Shūhei's arms so he wouldn't be hungry while working all day"

I wholeheartedly believe Kensei is really sweet and at least relatively affectionate guy, but definitely more "not in public" lol

That being said I don't think he's the best at being affectionate 😭

Unfortunate for Shuhei, because Shuhei seems really physically affectionate with all his friends. So he definitely enjoys that kinda thing from people. There's Kensei who's probably a more of an acts of service kinda guy

[gallusrostromegalus]

AEIWAM: Why is Ichigo in the Gotei-13 group chat? For that matter, what kind of unholy madness goes on in said group chat?

Ichigo is in the gotei-13 groupchat because he *is* actually a shinigami. A probationary, substitute shinigami, but still a shinigami and part of the gotei-13!

So along with his pager and badge/power limiter, Ichigo also got an invite to the Gotei-13 Groupchat, which being a reasonably technically savvy elder millennial, he immediately joined.

Shenanigans ensued:

- Everyone else in the Groupchat became aware that Ichigo was in the Groupchat when he @everyone'd in there at 2AM to ask something that weighs heavily on his mind:

Ichigo: AY YO WHICH ONE OF YOU IS MY MANAGER?

Rukia, replying in such a way that she also @'s everyone: ICHIGO IT IS TWO AM YOU ARE SETTING OFF EVERYONE'S PAGERS!!

Ichigo: YEAH I KNOW IT'S 2AM, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO MY MANAGER IS, AND I NEED TO ASK THEM SOMETHING.

Ichigo: Is it Zaraki? He seems like he'd lose his pager and not text me.

Kenpachi: nah, if i was your boss you'd be at 11th div boot camp

Kenpachi: also, your boss should send you to 11th div boot camp

Ichigo: I can't go, it's a school night.

Shuuhei: @IKurosaki what's the serial number on your pager? You really should not have the admin privileges to be able to @ everyone like this.

Renji: @HShuuhei why are you awake?

Shuuhei: @ARenji In order for the seireitei bulletin to be distributed on everyone's doorstep by 5 am, the printing happens right now. Why are YOU awake?

Shuuhei: also @Zkenpachi: ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN INBOX

Renji: Rukia snores.

Rukia: OH MY GOD

Zaraki: how are you guys all yelling

Ichigo: It's #41266-36-423

Ichigo: FR tho, I still don't know who I'm supposed to be talking to.

Shuuhei: Huh. No idea who your boss is, but I think you may have gotten a Black-Black pager somehow. Weird.

Ichigo: What's a Black-Black pager?

Rukia: it's a class of pager that only fifth seat and higher-ranked officers are supposed to have AND THE THING IM GONNA SHOVE UP THE ASS OF YOUR MANAGER AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT WHO THAT SONOFABITCH IS!!!

Iba: @KRukia ":Rule 12: No Slurs or other demographic insults in any official communication, including chat.:"

Rukia: WHAT SLUR?

Rukia: oh.

Rukia: My Apologies, @SKomamura Taicho. I will be more careful with my language in the future.

Ichigo: Dude don't @ someone if you insulted them on accident, just edit the comment.

Byakuya: @KRukia, since you were the one who discovered and vouched for Kurosaki, administratively, he is *your* responsibility.

Shuuhei: lol

Iba: LMAO

Renji: @KByakua congratulations, your sister is now crying on the bathroom floor.

Kenpachi: I FOUND THE YELLING BUTTON

Kenpachi: ALSO ICHIGO, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO ASK ANYWAY

Ichigo: oh yeah!

Ichigo: there's like 20 Menos Grande in downtown Karakura for some reason.

Renji: LEAD WITH THAT NEXT TIME

[precautionarypeapod]

It's so funny there's an old Shinji Side story in Bleach Brave Souls, the mobile game. And I'm sure they arent cannon but it made me laugh.

It was about Shuhei asking Shinji questions for an interview for the Seireitei Bulletin as he's going to be on the front cover. It starts off with a pretty basic photo shoot the continues into the interview:

69: "Can you tell me about your enlistment into the Gotei 13?"

Shinji: "That's hard for me to talk about, pass!"

69: "Can you tell me about what it was like between enlistment and becoming a captain?"

Shinji: "Ohhhhh. Too bad. There's not enough time for that, pass!"

69: "Um, do you intend on answering any of my questions?"

Shinji: "Huh?! You dragged me all the way out here and then talk to me like that?! Who the hell do you think I am?! I'm the fashionista of the Gotei 13! You should have plenty of other things to ask me about!"

69: "I came to interview the CAPTAIN of squad 5!"

Shinji: "Anyway, if I have to pass, I'm going to pass. If that's all you got for me, I'm leaving."

69: "Fine, how did you spend your time in the world of the living?"

Shinji: "Man these are some cruddy questions. Well, I... Oh yeah, I drank some boba."

69: "What is boba?"

Shinji: "You haven't heard of it? It's all the trend in the world of the living. They take the eggs of this fish called boba and put them inside these stylish drinks and you eat them while you drink."

69: "I've never heard of that before. So do you drink it or eat it?"

Shinji: "If you need a special feature you should do it on that. A lot of your readers have duties in the world of the living, so I bet it'd be a huge hit."

69: "Understood, we'll start researching the ecology of this so-called boba fish. Thank you captain Hirako! We'll send your photos for you to approve later." 69 leaves

Shinji: "Got it. Good luck! ........... Research the ecology? Did he really fall for that joke? At this rate, I'm going to be sharing the front cover with some strange fish. Hey, Shuhei! Time out for a sec! Time out!"

I loved it so much! He's such a goof and I love him. Just wanted to share.

[milky-fixx]

A copy of this month's Seireitei Bulletin is placed atop your desk.

You peruse it, noting some of the usuals. News, awards, special events. But it's a poem in the corner that catches your eye, one that is listed as an anonymous submission.

the summer's rays pierce a lone marigold withers waiting for one's touch

You smile. Folding up the paper, you greet the fellow members of your division, taking note of Captain Otoribashi with guitar in hand, strumming tunes while humming to a melody.

You approach your lieutenant, who sits before a daunting pile of paperwork—no doubt one that his Captain neglected to finish in his haste to make use of this moment of inspiration. He looks deep in thought, his brow furrowed as he peruses the words on the page.

"Lieutenant Kira." He near jumps at your use of his title, whirling around towards you. You notice he shoves a few papers to the side, as if hiding them from prying eyes. "Nice poem, by the way. In the paper."

"Oh, ah... That—that wasn’t me.”

You raise a brow.

"Really? It kind of reminds me of your style. A bit bold, if you ask me, but…”

His cheeks redden. “Right. Bold. I’m not—I’m usually not that forthright.” He shrugs noncommittally, angling his body to further cut off your view of his desk. It’s then that you catch a glimpse of a few crumpled pieces of papers scattered about.

He clears his throat. “Nonetheless I’m sure whoever it was is a fine poet.”

You hum thoughtfully. “Yeah, they are…. I'm also sure that whoever they wrote it for will find it quite romantic,” you say off-handedly.

He straightens up in his seat. "What do you—”

"Waiting for one's touch," you repeat. "I wonder why wait when the flower can just seize the moment?"

[reiiishii]

🖊+ ume

LET ME GUSH ABOUT MY OCs // Accepting!!

Ah yes Division 9's suicidal maniac...

Yeah Ume's a fun case, she had such a nice life, no bad parents, no terrible life problems...her mental health was just so bad she took her life. (thus leading to her ending up as a shinigami) She met Yuuji while they were at the academy once they both joined and while she's a bit of a nutcase, yuuji is too and while she knows Yuuji's also not very... open about themselves, it's not a problem for her she's patient, she knows she's about as talkative as a parrot so Yuuji can get a word in once she's done talking. The two of them are polar opposites so it's a wonder how she became friends with someone so grouchy all the time.

Ume's honestly so desensitized to death that she has no issues in talking openly about it, as morbid as it is, she'd rather be seen as a weirdo than be seen as someone normal. [granted it's concerning how often she talks about it & her suicidal tendencies/idealizations, she at least tones it down for her grandfather.]

She handles a lot of the fact checking for the seireitei bulletin and she takes pride in her skills as a reporter for division 9's work, even if it gets her into trouble- she enjoys what she does for them! Granted she's the one having to keep a level head when Tosen betrays them, it fucks with her- she hates having this level of responsibility, especially with Shuhei being so weighed down with Tosen's sudden betrayal & what came with the position as well as vowing to bring him back... she just wants to throw in the towel because that level of responsibility isn't for her. [Thankfully she helps him out with running the 9th division during this time] But she does admire Kensei and does look to him for advice [as well as Mashiro, but they usually end up sharing a braincell and causing trouble-] when he returns to Soul Society alongside Raiyū & the others.

While her outlook on life is so morbid and dark, she still keeps such a sunshiny demeanor for others except for those close to her who know how dark she can get, even those who have come across her various failed attempts on her life, Ume's honestly a pretty interesting character to me but she doesn't usually come out often.

[bleach-smashorpass]

Why is Suzumebachi “the bee of heterosexuality”?

I'm glad you asked! It's because she tells Soi-Fon, a massive lesbian, to get a man.

[recurring-polynya]

If this hasn't been done, something about the newspaper and attempting to fill the "Tousen's Justice and Cooking" article slots?

This actually came up in my most recent Big Fanfic, Damage History. At the time I was writing it, I was actually very confused to find that it wasn't canon that Kensei took over Tousen's old column. Then, when I was working on this one, I figured out that it was from the issue of the Seireitei Bulletin @bleachbleachbleach made. I stole a bunch their other Bulletin Headcanons, too, but I did it with love.

Anyway, this ended up really long, so I decided it could be its own fanfic. It's a little rough around the edges, but it's my first time thinking/writing this much Squad 9, so it was a learning experience for me.

🔪 🍝 🔥

Kitchen Equivalents ( ao3 )

Summary: Squad 9 is still Kensei's squad. It's changed a little over the past century, but that's fine. He's good with change. He loves change.

~or~

Kensei takes over Tousen's old cooking column.

Starring: Kensei, Hisagi, Mashiro, and ft. Shinji, Rose, and for some reason, Renji (the reason is that I love him)

Rating: T, for cussing

Words: 7134

[bleached-socks]

Round One Continues!

Seireitei Bulletin: Seireitei Sexyman Tournament Edition

By Shuhei Hisagi

The Seireitei Sexyman Tournament, hosted by the Women’s Soul Reaper Association, is moving on to the second part of round one.

The first half has ended, and spectacularly at that. We’re going into the second half with even more support for the tournament.

And once again, I wanted to get a comment from all of the people in the second part of round one.

Unfortunately, this issue was delayed due to problems with one of the competitors health, during which I was not able to see him for an interview.

So even though this issue is being published late, all (but one) of the responses were collected at the beginning of the round, not at the end, which is where we are now at.

Please enjoy.

“You’re calling me sexy? I’m flattered! After all, it’s not everyday that someone hosts a Sexyman Tournament. On that note, do you think the Women’s Soul Reaper Association would allow me to be a sponsor?” -Former Captain Kisuke Urahara

“I will do my best to win and prove to Kiyone that I am the best 3rd seat of Squad 13!” -Third Seat Sentaro Kotsubaki

“Uh… aren’t I like, super dead?” -Former Lieutenant Kaien Shiba

“Ha! Finally! A chance to beat Ichigo once and for all! …What do you mean I’m not competing against him? Ichigo! You better move on so we can compete!” -Lieutenant Renji Abarai

“Shuhei, what are you doing? Can’t you see I’m busy.” -Captain Kensei Muguruma

“Alas, the Head Captain has lost. I fear that will most likely be my fate as well.” -Lieutenant Chojiro Sasakibe

“I apologize that I wasn’t able to meet with you earlier. I think the tournament is a great idea. I’m *hack* looking forward to it.” -Captain Jushiro Ukitake

“Sorrycan’ttalkI’mrunningfromKenpachi. Hecouldn’tfightinthetournamentsonowhe’stryingtofightmeSOMEONEHELP!” -Substitute Soul Reaper Ichigo Kurosaki

“Did you really come all the way to the world of the living to interview me for a Sexyman Tournament?” -Former Captain Love Aikawa

“My my, a Sexyman Tournament, hmmm? How interesting. Oh, how am I here? Well you see, it’s very simple. No, I won’t elaborate. Good luck figuring it out!” -Former Captain Gin Ichimaru

“Hm, I suppose I must do my best to win on behalf of the Kuchiki name.” -Captain Byakuya Kuchiki

“Oh this is me. Uh. That’s cool… Yeah, interviewing myself is weird.” -Lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi

“As the most *fabulous* person in the Seireitei, I will obviously come one first place.” -Fifth Seat Yumichika Ayasegawa

“Oh, uh, I didn’t realize I was in it. I’m honored I guess.” -Third Seat Hanataro Yamada

“People think I’m sexy? Wow, I don’t think anyone’s ever said that about me. I’m honored.” -Captain Sajin Komamura

“I don’t care about your stinkin’ tournament. Hey, I think I see Ichigo. Yeah! He’s being chased by Captain Zaraki! I think I’m gonna go join em’. Later!” -Third Seat Ikkaku Madarame

And there you have it! Once again, apologies for the late issue, but it was unavoidable.

I will be continuing with my interviews as the Seireitei Sexyman Tournament continues.

Until next time,

Shuhei Hisagi

[darkroguescribe]

Hitsuhina Week 2023 - Day 7: Future / Fairy tales

Rating: T

Summary: The Women's Association run a special article 😏

AN: Originally posted on AO3. I probably had about 20 half-baked ideas for today but didn’t get very far into writing them. So probably just going to share some of my already posted stories.

--------------------------

There had once been a time when the Soul Reaper Women’s Association had been one of the best funded and most influential organizations in the entirety of the Seireitei. But after the end of the Quincy War, much of their power had diminished greatly. The funds that had once been designated for the group had to be reinvested towards repairs and the time the members once reserved for the various activities they sponsored, had been redirected to be more usefully spent supporting the reconstruction efforts. The meeting room hidden in the Kuchiki Manor, which had been the group’s favorite headquarters, was left for dust to slowly build up where lively meetings and laughter had once persisted.

For four years the Seireitei remained in a state of limbo waiting to see what sort of enemy would emerge. For four years they worked tirelessly on rebuilding their strength and repairing their world that had been nearly destroyed by the Quincies. But now it felt as though there was true calm and peace in the Seireitei and it was time to take care of the smaller things that they had all but forgotten about. Central 46 and the bodies that be had loosened the strict budgeting that had been in place and now allocations allowed for spending towards groups and clubs once again. The Seireitei Bulletin was the first to be green lit, releasing the news through their New Years Edition and calling for new and old article writers to submit their work for the next edition. The Women’s Association jumped at the chance and were among the first to be allotted a two page spread for the next release.

Nanao Ise spread the word among the former members quickly and arranged for all of them to meet in their old meeting room. Excitement buzzed as the time of the meeting drew closer and Momo Hinamori was looking forward to it more than she thought she would. She had never been a frequent member of the group not having much interest in some of the topics or events that were conducted, nor did she always prove of the more… questionable means by which the group got its funding. But it was always a good time to spend with her female friends whenever she could go to a meeting.

Entering the old meeting room, Hinamori found herself to be among the first to arrive. Nanao and Kiyone were already there, dusting the old tables and chairs and preparing for the meeting. Momo joined in cleaning with the others while they all waited for everyone to arrive. One by one, the old members of the group filed in and once everyone had arrived and taken seats, they all found themselves looking around the room taking stock of how the faces had changed and the faces that weren’t there. Other than Captain Isane Kotetsu who was bogged down at the Fourth Division, and Rangiku Matsumoto who was in the World of the Living on a mission, Captain Unohana, Yachiru and Nemu, were all gone. Lost to the war.

Nanao walked to the head of the table where a blank board stood. Adjusting her glasses, she cleared her throat and began the meeting. “Welcome everyone to the First Soul Reaper’s Women’s Association Meeting,” She announced. “As you are all aware, funding has been approved for all clubs and associations through the end of the second quarter. Which leaves us with three major topics on the agenda today.” She turned to the board and wrote out the first item to be taken care of. “With the Presidency and Supervising Chairwoman positions, empty, we need to establish who will take on those roles.” A sad silence filled the room, no one wanting to voice possible replacements for the members who were gone. But eventually, in hushed tones, nominations were uttered and discussed thoroughly. By the end, the decisions were made. Nanao would become the President, with Rukia Kuchiki serving as the Vice-President and the Supervising Chairwoman would remain empty out of respect (and fear) for the former Fourth Division Captain who held the position.

With the hardest part of the meeting out of the way, the group moved on to the main topic that everyone was eager to discuss. The Seireitei Bulletin. With a full two page spread, they had the opportunity to come up with something great that would bolster interest in their group and potentially earn them profit for a future event they could plan. Ideas were quick to be formed in the group ranging from interesting to impossible, and from decent to horrible. A photo set of stealthily acquired images of Yoruichi, How to Turn a Closet into a Home, Health and Wellness Tips, Fending Off Unwanted Advances… Momo had little interest in any of the topics and everyone seemed to be quite polarized about which direction to go. The board filled up with ideas quickly and hastily scribbled notes kept track of the major points for and against each one.

As arguments were starting to get out of hand, Nanao called the group to a vote when the door to the room slammed open and Rangiku Matsumoto charged in. “Hold everything!” She shouted, holding a folder over her head and slamming it down hard on the table.

“I thought you and Toshiro were in the world of the living,” Momo said looking up in surprise at the late addition. She hadn’t expected her to be back for another day at least.

Rangiku smiled, “We finished early,” She said, waving off any other questions. “Normally, I’d still be there, shopping until the Captain dragged me back; but I have found the perfect article for our little group.” Opening the folder, she revealed what had to be at least 100 pictures all of Toshiro. The women huddled around the pictures and looked at them with curiosity.

“The captain seems to have a knack for football,” Rangiku said, “And he’s grown quite a bit since the war ended.” The women quietly gave a murmur of agreement because he really had grown, now standing about a head taller than Momo. But that clearly wasn’t what Rangiku was referring to. Flipping through the pictures, the shots got closer together in time especially after one image of Toshiro making a clean slide tackle that split the left side of his shirt up to his third rib and leaving little to the imagination of what the rest of his torso looked like.

A few images later, Rangiku had somehow managed to get a rather… impressive frame by frame set of him pulling the tattered shirt off. The smooth way in which he pulled it off by tugging at the back of the collar, the way the tattered hemline slowly rose up, revealing the sculpted muscles of the man who had the distinction of being the youngest Captain in the Soul Society. Momo felt her cheeks burn red as the other women looked through the images with similar looks of appreciation.

How did she get these pictures without him freezing her fingers off? There was even a series of photos of him drinking from a water bottle that made the simple act look… seductive.

“When did you take these?” Momo asked, diverting her focus to the images after the water bottle when he returned to the game shirtless.

“Yesterday,” Rangiku answered. “And this was after we’d eliminated that hive of hollows in the area. To be honest, if he hadn’t come across that game, we’d probably have been back last night.”

“Uh huh…” Ignoring the older woman’s attempt to practically sell her captain’s ‘sex appeal’, the photos did manage to capture a side of him that she had only seen glimpses of every once in awhile in the past few decades. The child-like side of him that he’d repressed since becoming a soul reaper. He’d always been competitive, but for him to be competitive and… happy at the same time was something she’d only seen fully on display when he’d been the undefeated champion in top spinning when they were kids.

Momo smiled as she looked at one of the last few images on the table. The ball was undisturbed halfway between him and the goalkeeper. He stood relaxed with his hands in his pockets as he stared straight ahead as if the keeper wasn’t even in the way. To someone who didn’t know him well, the smirk on his face could have been described as either confident or cocky. But she knew better than to just look at his lips to read his expression. The answer was always clear in his eyes. Even if he wanted to hide something, those turquoise eyes of his could never hide the depth of his feelings. His eyes were relaxed and almost half-lidded in the picture with the color closer to a blue-green. He was having fun.

After everyone had gotten a glimpse of the photos, Nanao brought the group back to order and after a quick review of options, brought the group to a vote.

———

A month had passed since the Women’s Association had decided on their article and, as with all activities within the group, were sworn to secrecy. Momo had mixed feelings about hiding it from her best friend but reluctantly complied. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to withhold this kind of stuff from him and as much as he hated it, he at the very least tolerated the group’s need for secrets. Besides, it couldn’t possibly be any worse than the other times Rangiku published articles about him, or the previous run of trading cards the Women’s Association had sponsored. And the last thing the Soul Society needed was Toshiro (literally) freezing the magazine for eternity.

As the publication date drew near, Rangiku made herself more scarce than usual around the Tenth Division. She had made the precautionary decision to remain in the Women’s Association room in Kuchiki Manor knowing there was no way her captain could reach her behind the walls of the imposing home of the noble. She had urged Momo to join her since, in her own words, Toshiro was horrible company when he was angry. Which was true, but Momo had known him her whole life so he wasn’t nearly as ‘horrible’ with her as he was with everyone else. Besides, it wasn’t like she’d be one of his targets. She hadn’t even voted for that article and had tried to convince the group that it was a bad idea. Unfortunately, the potential sale of prints and posters won out.

The day the monthly bulletin went out had started out fairly normal but as the day went on and people sat down to read it and talk about it, the entire place was abuzz with talk about the article submitted by the Women’s Association. Knowing her best friend, he probably hadn’t even read it yet, too absorbed with extra work left behind by his missing lieutenant. Abandoning her own work for the day, she made her way to the Tenth, taking the long way to get an idea of how bad the whole situation was getting. Momo spied several groups huddled over issues of the magazine, pointing, giggling, and sighing while whispering among themselves. This was bad.

Fortunately, it seemed his own division had some idea about how angry their captain would be once he got wind of the whole thing. She saw a few issues floating around the Tenth’s offices but the owners were quite secretive as they glanced at the infamous article when they thought no one was looking. Momo approached the Captain’s office and knocked, announcing herself before entering. As expected, Toshiro was at his desk sifting through several piles of paperwork, muttering to himself. “Have you seen the fourth seat? I’m missing their incident report,” He asked, not even sparing her a glance as he leafed through a report.

“I don’t even think I know who your fourth seat is,” Momo said, walking up to the desk and resting the palms of her hands on the wooden surface.

It was only then, he seemed to register he wasn’t talking to one of his men. He looked up, his eyes reflected his surprise but only for a moment before he hardened his eyes again. “Oh, it’s you.”

“You could sound a little more happy to see me, Shiro.”

“It’s Captain Hitsugaya,” He corrected, a little harsher than usual. Clearly it wasn’t a good day for him. And it would only get worse once he saw the article. “And I am glad to see you. I’m just… busy,” He said, tossing the pile of papers onto his desk. “I can’t find Matsumoto anywhere, and for some reason people around here are either avoiding me, or in a rush to leave as quickly as possible.” He frowned and folded his arms over his chest, thinking. “Maybe I was too rough on them yesterday with training…” A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and he immediately sat tall in his chair. “Enter.”

A young girl who looked to be fresh from the academy stood in the doorway, her cheeks flushed red, and holding a folder close to her chest. Toshiro cocked his eyebrow up, and the girl dropped her head down, hiding a girlish smile. “S-sorry, sir.”

“Did you need something, Shuyama?

The girl giggled, and blushed even more. Toshiro exchanged a look with Momo as though she might have some female insight into the girl’s behavior. And oh did she. The girl cleared her throat, “S-sorry. I-I have… here,” She held out the folder but she was still standing in the doorway. Momo could see the girl sweating from across the room as she slowly walked forward, her hand still awkwardly extended as she approached her captain’s desk.

Toshiro accepted the folder from her and his gaze softened a little. “You alright, Shuyama?”

“Uh, y-yes, sir! I’m perfectly fine.”

He didn’t seem to believe her but shrugged, and sent her on her way with orders to find the fourth seat and the missing report. Momo shook her head as the girl fled and he gestured at the door with his hands, “See what I mean?” He asked. “You wouldn’t happen to know what’s going on, would you?”

She shrugged, “What makes you think I know?” She asked.

“Because it’s mostly the women acting weird. The men just look at me funny.” He opened the folder and began reading the first few lines of the report.

Momo pursed her lips as she leaned her hip against his desk. “I’m sure it’s just… something in the air today. It’ll pass.”

He looked up from the report and focused his intense gaze on her. “You’ve always been a terrible liar, Bedwetter,” He said. “What is it?”

“I’m not lying—“

“You’re not telling the truth either.” Momo pouted, realizing her mistake. Toshiro always knew when she was hiding something. His fingers tapped on his desk as he waited, “Well?”

With a sigh, she walked out of his office and into another office nearby that was shared by four officers.

All four of them were working diligently, only looking up when she entered and kept their eyes on her as she walked over to the only woman working in the office. Momo ignored her as she looked under the report she was currently working on and pulled out today’s edition of the bulletin. Without saying a single word to anyone, she left and returned to Toshiro who had been waiting patiently for her to come back. His brow was arched as she held the magazine and handed it over to him.

He looked at her questioningly, “You’ll know when you see it,” She said.

His brow knit tightly as he flipped through it, coming to a stop near the centerfold of the magazine. The color in his face paled and she knew he had found it. Taking a small step back, she braced herself for what was to come.

“What. The. Hell!?” The windows in the office shattered and the temperature dropped as he slammed the magazine onto his desk, sending the stacks of paperwork flying into the air. “‘These shots of the Winter Lion will keep you warm through the winter’?

“‘Despite being a late bloomer’—” He growled as he read the few lines of text that accompanied the pictures, his fists clenching the magazine, ripping the ends of the pages. “Who wrote this shi—“ The room got colder and ice started to climb up the walls. Momo gently increased her own reiatsu to counter the cold as realization set in for him. “Matsumoto.” He said her name with such venom. “I thought I sensed her lurking around Kuchiki’s manor. Now it makes sense why,” He muttered. Looking up, he met her gaze, then glanced back down at the magazine, focusing on the prominent banner printed just above the title. “You…you knew about this?”

Momo sighed, “Unfortunately.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I couldn’t! You know how secretive the Women’s Association is!”

Toshiro pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Right, of course,” He muttered, shaking his head. “They just had to pick me again, didn’t they,” He muttered.

His reiatsu dissipated slightly, allowing Momo to come stand closer to him again. Walking up to his desk, she stood in front of it with her hands folded, “Rangiku was very persuasive. Er, rather… the pictures were persuasive.”

His cheeks were a little red and he looked away, torn between anger and embarassment. “Is… is that really how people see me?”

“Hm?”

“This,” He gestured at the magazine again. “The trading cards, pictures of me sleeping, that calendar from a few years back;” He listed off several of the Women’s Association’s past ventures that had featured him as the main subject matter, his brow knit tightly as he cleared his throat. “What… what exactly is it about me that makes me a target for… this?”

Momo shrugged, “Well, you’re a prominent figure in the Sereitei—“

“—That’s not what I mean,” He said, his jaw was tight as he grit his teeth forcing the clarifying question out. “How… how physically attractive am I?”

Her hand on his desk faltered as she nearly slammed her face into the wood surface. “Eh? What?” She could feel her cheeks burning as she replayed his question over in her head again, making sure she had heard him right to begin with.

Toshiro sighed and held a hand up, making a calming gesture, “I’m not asking what you think. I need an objective opinion. And you’re the only girl I can have this conversation with.”

“Oh…” Momo relaxed a bit, taking a moment to think about the question and how to answer it. As his friend, she didn’t like him for the same reason everyone else did. Her personal opinion was very biased and based more on the traits no one else could see. But, as a woman, she wasn’t blind to the superficial layer of physical appeal he definitely had. The only problem was he was completely oblivious to all of it.

“Well… See…” Her lips pursed as she looked down at the magazine, pointing at the picture of him drinking from the water bottle. The light perfectly highlighted the lines between his abs, and the sheen of sweat on his chest practically made him shine with an almost god-like glow.

“What?” His brow slanted, and he tiled his head sideways, still not seeing what she meant.

Momo sighed, wondering how he could be a genius and an idiot at the same time. “The answer to your question is… yes.”

“Huh?”

Rolling her eyes, she continued. “Women find you attractive,” She said. “More so now that you don’t really look like a cute little boy anymore.”

His eye twitched a bit in annoyance, still a bit stingy about having been so short for so long. “…That doesn’t tell me why, though.”

“Well…” Her lips pursed as she thought about how to explain it. “To start, you have really nice hair.”

“I always thought it creeped people out.”

She shrugged, “Well, maybe in the Rukon Districts, yes. But, you’ve been here a long time, and the color makes sense given your reiatsu and zanpakuto. So people are able to look beyond the color and… appreciate its other characteristics.” His hair had always been quite thick, but it became more noticeable after he stopped spiking it and let it fall more naturally around his face. It looked nice, giving him this almost rugged appearance that unintentionally added another notch to his physical appeal.

He gave her a blank expression, showing he really had no idea what the big deal was about hair. Sighing, she moved on. “Um… Your eyes are nice too.” Much like his hair, the color was unusual and the kids in the Rukon Districts found them unnerving. Momo never understood why. His eyes were probably his most beautiful feature. When the light hit them just right, they could look like deep pools of water, or dusty emeralds. And to be the focus of those eyes, it could be the most terrifying moment, or the most wonderful thing ever.

She cleared her throat, noticing he was waiting for her to continue. “And then there’s… that,” She pointed at one of the many shirtless photos of him. “It’s, er… nice… very nice.”

He blushed again and shook his head. “Madness,” He muttered. Grabbing the magazine, he tore it in half, tossing it in the trash before turning to face the broken window. A light breeze blew through, ruffling his hair and robes.

Momo closed the distance between them, coming to stand next to him. His arms were folded in his sleeves as he glared outside. There were a few groups on the streets below and some were looking through the magazine as they walked. Sighing, Momo wrapped her arm around his back, pressing herself into his side. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I did argue against publishing it. And I really did want to tell you about it, but…”

“I know.” He craned his head back and closed his eyes in an attempt to try and relax.

“Thank you, Momo.”

“Hm? For what?” She pulled back enough to look up at him.

Toshiro met her eye and shrugged, “For being honest,” He said. “Though I can’t say I completely understand… any of it. Girls are crazy.”

She pouted, poking him hard in the ribs, eliciting a loud “ouch!” From him as he shifted away from her.

“The Hell was that for?” He asked, guarding his ribs from her fingers still trying to jab at him.

“For calling me crazy.”

He scoffed, “I didn’t call you crazy.”

She crossed her arms, her eyebrow arching accusingly, “You just said girls are crazy.”

“You don’t count,” He said. Momo felt a small pang at the simple statement, though she wasn’t sure why. He sighed, adding, “You’re… different.” He returned his focus to the streets below the window, his body tense and indicating that he wasn’t going to elaborate further.

She smiled and turned to look outside with him, somewhat understanding what he was trying to say. She knew that words were not something he was particularly good with. From the corner of her eye, she caught the small scowl on his lips as he spied the two guards standing out front of the gates being sucked into a conversation as they giggled girlishly, pointing at a picture or two in the magazine.

Momo could only imagine the punishments he was thinking of putting the guards through for what he was sure to document as ‘neglecting duties’ in his reports. It made her wonder what he’d do once Rangiku surfaced again… it inspired a little idea. It was perhaps a little risky, given the secrecy of the Women’s Association, but one that, if played out right, would greatly improve her friend’s mood at the small expense of his lieutenant and maybe a bit of property damage. Besides, it wasn’t like any of it could lead back to her. Looking over at Toshiro, she smiled, confident that once she told him, he would never share where the secret entrance to Kuchiki Manor was located.

[bleach-your-panties]

Sincember Event❄️❄️

Requested By: @sacredwarrior88

Rating: Fluff/Suggestive🍥🍭

“Shit, it's cold out here..”

You brought your scarf up to cover the lower half of your face while your feet sank deeper and deeper into the freezing, wet slosh beneath them.

Head-Captain Kyouraku is undoubtedly a slovenly bastard for this.

Having you, his faithful little third seat, to deliver his contribution to the weekly Seireitei bulletin to Captain Muguruma.

In the middle of a fucking snowstorm.

And on top of that, you take after your older brother Kenpachi - you're terrible with directions!

If you had actually taken the time to check the weather before you left, you'd have known that the snowfall was only going to increase further. The chances of a blizzard happening were above 90%.

“Dammit…I can’t see a thing out here. Who knows where I could be? I could be on the way to Sōkyoku Hill right now and not even know it! I-oof.”

You fell back onto your ass in the snow after colliding with a solid wall.

Wait, a wall? 

A soft grunt reached your ears before the sight of an orange-gloved hand coming towards you made you look up to see what you had run into.

Or better yet, who.

“You know, the polite thing to say when you run into someone is ‘’excuse me'.” Kensei’s gruff voice called out to you. 

The snow was still getting into your eyes even though you were wearing goggles, so you could only barely see his disgruntled expression as he waited for you to accept his hand.

“Sorry. Excuse me and thank you, Captain Muguruma.”

He grunted again, irritably.

“You can drop the formalities. Kensei is just fine. You're one of Shunsui’s brats aren't you?” 

Your mouth dropped open and a snowflake fell on your tongue. Wrapping your own gloved fingers around his, you used his body as leverage to pull yourself up.

“Brat?! I'm not a brat.” You huffed indignantly and crossed your arms. 

The corner of Kensei's mouth turned up.

“Sure you're not. That for me?”

His stony eyes trailed from your boobs that you'd managed to push up with your previous motion to the folder tucked underneath your arm, carefully tucked away from the cold torrent of frosty snow that was swirling all around you both, more fiercely now.

“That old man sent you out here in this shit just to give that to me? What a waste of space.” Kensei rolled his eyes and getured for you to hand it to him.

“O-oh! It’s no trouble, really! Here you go!” You handed the file over with no problem. 

“Well, my mission is done. I'll be going now, see ya Capt-whoah!” 

Kensei had tucked the folder under his own arm and simultaneously pulled you into his side.

“You working with half your brain or what? There's a fucking blizzard coming and I don't trust you to make it back to squad one barracks by yourself.”

“Hey! You calling me dumb?!” 

Your cheeks puffed out and you rolled your e/c eyes now.

He chuckled. “You said it, not me, sweetheart. Come on.”

—-

Just as Kensei said, the blizzard came in full-force.

After the two of you made it back to his place and he'd shut the door behind him, the snow began falling harder and faster.

It piled up against the front door, effectively sealing it shut and trapping the two of you inside.

“How unfortunate is that. We'll probably be stuck in here until the morning when the sun comes back out - if it even does!”

Kensei's heavy boots on the wooden floor behind you made you snap your head around to face him.

It was obviously too cold outside for shinigami robes, so instead he was dressed in a thick, gray sweater with a black puffer coat over it, black scarf, black cargo pants, and his orange gloves.

“You see something you like?” Suddenly a hot mouth was beside your ear, tickling the fine hairs inside of it as Kensei breathed his warm breath onto the side of your neck.

It was a welcome contrast to the striking cold chill that had been covering your body since you'd entered his home; with that simple gesture a fire lit inside your core and you subtly rubbed your thighs together.

With a smirk on his lips, Kensei backed up to give you some space before walking off to a fireplace that was positioned in a corner of the large living room and lighting it.

“Make yourself comfortable, sweetheart. You don't have to act shy.”

“Hmph, who’s acting…” You mumbled bashfully and began to take off your gloves and coat before joining him on a large chaise lounge situated in front of the fireplace.

Kensei had also taken off his coat and hung it on a rack close to the door. His strong arm muscles rippled beneath his sweater as he held you close to his chest.

“Captain Muguruma, is this…appropriate?” 

The man behind you only hummed softly and rested his cheek in your cold hair.  You felt your body shivering, prompting Kensei to lay you against his chest and cover you with his much larger body.

He laid on his side, becoming the big spoon and encasing your legs between his.

“You’re so cold, little one. Let me warm you up, yeah? It’s the least I could do for you, since you came all the way out here in a snowstorm to deliver your captain’s article to me.”

A soft smile grew on your lips and you nodded.

“Sure, Captain.”

Kensei’s smirk returned to his face and he shifted slightly so that your ass was pressed up against his pelvis. He was slowly hardening from the simple action of having you lie against him, the crackling of the fire in the hearth steadily lulling the both of you into a quick, cozy nap.

----

ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗˢ🫶🏽

[simpingandprocrastinating]

Being a 5th seat of the ninth division means contributing to the Seireitei Bulletin. Or should I say, being forced.

Shuhei will recruit Himiri.