#a reference tumblr won't understand either!

[frazzledsoul]

Who else feels like the cryptkeeper right now?

[crownedinmarigolds]

Hello everyone! With help from @auspex, we are putting together the first Tumblr of Darkness Secret Santa event! This event is where artists may come together, submit their World of Darkness OCs, and we can all draw and exchange gifts with one another! Just a little fun to remind one another that we're a great community!

How to Participate: There is indeed a limited amount of time to sign up to make sure everyone has a fair chance! Applications are open 11.04.2024 and will be kept open until Monday 11.11.2024. - You will be submitting your World of Darkness original characters and link their reference materials so that another artist may draw them! Please make sure you have a link that someone may have open access to. This can be a Google Drive folder, your art tag on a social media, etc.  If you make a Google Drive, make sure your Secret Santa does not have to request access and spoil the surprise. In short, just make sure it's easy for your future gifter to look through! Please don't make it a treasure hunt to find out info on your character just to make things easier. When the applications close, we will then put all participants' names into a randomizer to assign everyone their Secret Santa! Auspex and I will make sure to notify you all as soon as possible as well as provide the reference links so that you can have as much time needed to get the artwork finished. You may go as crazy or mild as you like, but just be aware that artists of ALL skill levels are invited to join! Do not be deterred if you feel like you can't draw - that is the devil talking! Every work of art you make is amazing and any gift with heart behind it is wonderful. - For this year, we asks that the gifts remain art-only. Any medium is fine (digital or traditional) but writing, playlists, mood boards, or anything else won't be accepted. Those things are great, and maybe in the future that could be another exchange, but for simplicity's sake - keep it to art, please. If you want to add mood boards or playlists or write ups as little bonuses to your art - that is entirely up to you! - Please remember these works of art are gifts. This exchange is a community event where everyone is free to participate and share in the spirit of giving during this holiday season. Do not feel bad if you feel like you are not drawing as "well" as somebody else, and please do not make others feel bad if you feel like they're not reaching your standards. This is meant to be fun and for everyone who wants to try! We plan to notify everyone within the next day or two after closing applications, and you will have until 12.20.2024 to draw and submit your works back to Auspex and I so that we may send them to their intended recipient! If you know the person you have and would like to share early, we understand, but please if you would keep it off of Tumblr until the event is concluded just so everyone can be surprised! Once the event is over, have at it and post away! - Please respect the time and effort everyone is putting in! If you feel like something has come up and you won't be able to finish or participate after applying - that is fine. Just let us know as early as possible so that we can either inform your gift recipient or take you off the list.

You will find the application here: https://forms.gle/9VTyd4FsyENwjR4B6

For any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out to me (crownedinmarigolds) either on Tumblr or through my email - ladyofsilks@gmail.com. You may also reach out to auspex on Tumblr as well in case I'm unavailable! Thank you all for being a community I love and and I hope we have lots of fun trying this out!

Please reblog so all of the community may see and get to join in!

[newlondohollow]

Sooooo i finally gathered enough energy to post, and guess what will good ol me post about? NATURALLYYYY an obscure ass character i got hyperfixated on. because that's what normal people do. of course. Only this time it's not dark souls, so that's new!!

Enormous yapping sesh below this world-healing fanart by xemnas178!

I LOVE JOACHIM ARMSTER FROM CASTLEVANIA LAMENT OF INNOCENCE SO MUCH IM GONNA SOB I LOVE HIM IMEIUEIFJWUSYYWGD.

He's an example of how ergodic or semi ergodic literature (which i adore) can AND WILL make you briefly look at a character and go "aight cool" only to then gently nudge you into having the most shocking, boom vine sfx requiring, life altering, soul shattering series of realizations.

So, we learn from the official art book that Joachim was Walter's lieutenant, and that he was quote "lured" by him with the promise of eternal life. Joachim then tried to usurp Walter, which backfired awfully, and he now lies imprisoned in the Palace of Dark Waterfalls. Eventually Leon Belmont gets to him and Joachim acts all cool and cocky only to miserably die (as a bossfight i found him way easier than most of the other orb bosses).

That's pretty bland at first glance isn't it? Just your average foolish, prideful, comedic relief prick right? No, not at all. Here we go analyzing:

Joachim's model has a very young-looking face, looking even younger than Leon himself, and he also acts quite angsty teen like in his dialogues, which already adds something more to him.

The real kicker is that the devs left in the game a window to access the sounds (someone here on Tumblr made a post about it!) and they all have their little comments below them; Joachim's OST's comment reads:

"Melancholy Joachim

It's dangerous to be holding a knife, Joachim. Perhaps he is still just mentally young"

That post I mentioned commented perfectly on the "Melancholy Joachim" bit so I won't repeat what they said, I will instead focus on the two sentences that follow.

The first sentence sounds condescending, sarcastic, or alternatively it sounds like something you would tell a child. Perhaps it allegorically references Joachim's attempt at usurping Walter, and this sentence would be something Walter himself would tell him mockingly.

Meanwhile the second sentence seems like a repetition of "Joachim acts like a child" but the presence of the word "still" has us know that he doesn't just act like a teenager, he is one.

Or better said, he was one when Walter turned him, as we can presume by looking at his official art here (more yapping below it) that he's been in that cell for a WHILE.

However, his mental development was stunted by such egregious traumatic experiences, and thus he has the mind (and sort of looks) of a teenager.

All this certainly makes his character a lot more tragic, and now we can't even fault him for having been tempted by eternal life because, as old as he was, he probably didn't even understand the scale of the situation he was in, and what he was being offered.

We also know that Joachim, this goddam fucking teenager, was Walter's lieutenant. That fuckass ginger cunt had a teenager lead armies. ARMIES. ARMIES OF DEMONIC CREATURES BY THE WAY. Children being used in war is nothing alien to history of course, but obviously it still is undeniably very wrong and cruel both here and irl.

Nevertheless, could it be that Joachim, a child soldier burdened with leadership of an army of demons, wished to usurp Walter not for mere power lust, but to put an end to his tyranny over the land (and over Joachim himself)?

The man's character design doesn't strike me as overly evil either, in fact he has white-silver hair and a blue tunic, both white and blue are colors associated with purity, innocence (lament of innocence mention) and a noble spirit, it is no coincidence Soma and Hector follow the same color scheme.

It is also very worth noting that Walter had an entire smithing area, way more fit to hold a jail, but still chose to lock Joachim in a cave surrounded by water.

Friendly reminder that water is acidic to vampires, so Walter had this poor soul taken here with the specific intention of reminding him that if he were to somehow escape the cave itself, the water all over the place wouldn't let him get much further, also the cave is dark as all fuck, so that's fun.

In the art up there Joachim is clutching a knight's skull, almost as if he's lamenting the knight's death, even tho he is more than likely the one who killed him.

He's also seen letting the knight's blood drop to his hand, which reminds us that the only food he had available were the people coming to try to murder him. The very same cocky knights that perhaps, the first times they showed up, he excitedly hoped to befriend and help, but was always shocked, let down and hurt when they would attempt to kill him for the mere crime of being a vampire.

And about that, one can very much imagine that he heavily regretted having become one, and, to cope, his teenage brain gradually made him feel superior to humans because he was a vampire, so that he wouldnt feel hurt anymore when inevitably every human that came his way showed him no compassion.

Joachim clearly reached a point of complete distrust and spite for any human that arrives, which is why he is so dismissive and aggressive to Leon, whom at first showed no ill intent. He's also clearly gone insane, and still wishes to have revenge on Walter (which he gets to do if you play the game as him, which is something at least).

As a finisher I'd like to add that Walter and Joachim are an older, darker version of Dracula and Hector (if that manga about them is canon).

Yeah ok good lord above i yapped a lot.

I will now go eep, thanks to everyone who read all the way to here!

[littledesertfox]

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day! My name is Marlowe/Atari! I come to you to expose another neo-nazi in the community. His name is Paul, and his goes by @dertotalenkrieg on Tumblr.

Now, why am I saying this now? Well, I noticed that this user was in the same reichblr server as I was. As I was scrolling through the Neo-Nazi Community under the reichblr, I noticed that Paul posted there.

Content Warnings for Nazi Imagery and Holocaust Denial in the Screenshots

Before anyone says, "This wasn't supposed to be taken seriously/this is out of context." Counterpoint, the implication of the post's caption is that Paul had to obtain this from Telegram. It also implies that he has experience with the platform and its neo-nazi communities contained within.

And this isn't a one-note incident either. I looked through Joseph's likes and saw these posts.

Obviously there are more posts that aren't shown in the screenshots that are noteworthy. The only one I can remember is one that was about cutting a swastika on one's skin.

What initially set off alarm bells was this guy's Discord profile;

I immediately detected the dog whistles within this user's profile. The SS's, the extraterrestrial imagery referencing neo-nazi pseudoscience, and the quote are obvious signs that this person is serious about this.

I deliberated on doing this since I didn't want to be the bringer of bad news, and the fact that this could possibly be traced back to me. I'm hesitant on associating my blog with this community (even though I'm a part of it.) and getting called a Nazi (despite this entire ask pointing to the contrary). I know you guys don't like Nazis, and I'm not gonna call you bad people for having unconventional interests.

The obvious way of avoiding any nazis joining this community is looking for dog whistles, that's your best method of exiling them quicker from your community.

Also, if you're gonna refer to me in your post, my pronouns are they/them + co/cos.

Thank you for reading my ask!

Hi, first of all sorry it took me a bit to respond, I had some busy things going on in real life.

Secondly ew, that's fucking nasty. I wasn't aware that this community existed (I never really looked much into the communities feature in general), but that's just gross and shouldn't have a platform. Immediate report, I don't know if this will just result in (hopefully) the deletion of the community, or if it will also have an effect on the people who are members of it, but as it is public to everyone here's a free block list I guess:

Reminder: Don't go over to these blogs and harass them or send anon hate, it won't do anything and will only give them more attention. Block, and in case they have sufficient evidence of hate speech or other harmful content on their blog, file a report to Tumblr moderation (if you feel comfortable enough to check their blogs that is, I understand that it can be difficult to stomach seeing that kind of content, especially if you're part of a targeted group).

Formerly, I didn't take a direct issue with this dertotalenkrieg guy personally, maybe I'm also confusing him with someone else but at least a few months ago I reckon he posted just historical photos and fairly "normal" reichblr stuff. Never really interacted with him as Goebbels isn't really a focus in my interests, and since a while I had him blocked anyway because he definitely did get weirder (and I just didn't want to see him anymore). I first noticed when he commented on my post to defend that other neo nazi, which should have been a clearer sign to me, however, I always had a hard time telling if he was ever genuine about something or if his entire account was just one big shitpost (personally I also don't believe in the whole reincarnation stuff, at least not in the way that he claims it to be, so the way he behaved about that might also be another reason why I couldn't really take him serious).

However this of course changes that, I never thought of looking through the guy's likes (I frankly didn't even notice that he had them public), but the things he engages with plus obviously the fact that he is a member in that neo nazi community makes it pretty obvious (that photo he posted there has literally nothing to do with historical interest). I kind of wonder now if him believing that he's the real Goebbels is what made him become a nazi (because he thought he had to replicate his "former self" or whatever) or vice versa that him being a neo nazi made him at some point think that he's one of the actual historical nazis. Regardless, he should not have a place here anymore. Thank you for letting me/us know!

[eilissxx]

At least you admit he WAS looking at her lovingly in the pizza scene, when yall claim he realized his feelings for Will LFMAO

i do not claim that, i think mike realised his feelings were somehow "wrong" but hes still afraid to accept them

and! u gave me the reason to talk about platonic elmike and why mileven ruin their harmony

first of all, i never denied that mike and el have a deep connection built on the basis of the trauma they've experienced. but that connection becomes problematic since we're talking about mike (who we'll assume is in love with will) and el (who never saw her relationship with mike as romantic)

why? i won't explain about mike and will, it's too long and there are other analyses on tumblr, but let's talk about el - if mike hadn't kissed her at the end of s1, no one would have considered her in love with mike. because she wasn't. it was MIKE who provoked the first romantic action, right after el started to consider him her BROTHER. all she wanted was to have a family, but mike got her into a relationship, and unknowingly el didn't get out of it

but how would their relationship have developed if mike hadn't kissed her? in fact, it wouldn't have been much different. el would still miss the boy, the only one who was kind to her, mike would still be tormented by guilt. BUT! in s3 mike wouldn't have forgotten about his friends and el would have spent more time with the other guys. in s4 mike wouldn't have arranged all that circus in rinkomania and they would have been able to spend a normal day

because the main connection that mileven has is platonic. it simply has no romantic basis. if el and mike had not entered into a relationship, nothing would have changed, on the contrary, everything would have improved

even if you look at mike's face when el talks to him in a romantic way and when he talks to him in a friendly way - there is a big difference. let's not forget that mileven is a HUGE reference to the movie E.T., which is based on platonic relationships

you can't discount mileven's feelings by calling them platonic, but you can discount elmike's feelings by calling them romantic. because either we get a great connection between a boy and a girl who can understand each other, or we get a boring heterosexual couple who are only together simply because they are straight.

[upperstories]

(this is about the post homophobic tumblr won't let the gay men be in the tags.)

WAIT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE MEN. I THOUGHT THEY WERE WOMEN!!!! I THOUGHT T HE PEOPLE I FOLLOW WERE POSTING CUTE OLD LADY YURI BUT IT WAS CUTE OLD MEN YOAI???

I am the dog mitski bet on.

The characters Hector and Capochin from go by he/him pronouns and refer to themselves The Bizzyboys! So i defer to them as old men.

That being said, they also come from a game where most of characters don’t subscribe to a gender binary. There’s a lot of characters that appear to be trans, non-binary, gender-fluid, so on. Canonically, here’s a character that bi-gender, another character who uses it/its pronouns—I could go on.

Basically I’m just trying to say that I don’t think the gender themselves is important. Hector and Capochin can be toxic old woman yuri or old man yaoi.

I have my own headcanons for what their genders are but I’ll keep them under the cut since they’re just headcanons.

Spoilers!!! Kinda!!!

I honestly believe that the Bizzyboys can be more than one gender, but they don’t understand how to use more than one kind of pronoun.

They understand gender can be expressed in any shape or form, regardless of their personal biology, and are satisfied with how they present themselves, but they just think using only he/him and boys to refer to one another is easier and use it as a catch-all.

Inspekta/Hector and Capochin, in my eyes, are both afab trans men who refuse to bind or top surgery or go in HRT. Names are an important part of being in the Bizzyboys, and they’re both refugees from another dimension that is equivalent to Hell in this universe, so I think they were subjected to transphobia back in the Drain and chose their current names.

Patty is genderfluid, presenting femme but preferring he/him. If he hangs out with Razz more often, I could see him embracing she/her pronouns, but it’d get a bit confusing. Since he’s the youngest, I think he’s one of the few Bizzyboys born in the Grove and not the Drain, seeking to join the crew as a form of inclusion rather than obligation, so he’s grown up a more accepting livelihood of gender expression. It also might explain why he’s the first to break off from the Bizzyboys and stand up to Capo.

Alexei is gay cis man but in a “I don’t really care what I’m perceived as” kind of way. Just prefers comfy clothing and good food.

Bananathaniel is also an afab trans man who got top surgery at Hobbyhoo and wants to be perceived as a man. I could see him, Alexei, and Grujaja being from The Drain but immigrated to the Grove after Hector ascended and established roots for refugee camps. I don’t think there was just One Mass Exodus, I think there were several smaller ones over time, which were made much easier once Hector became a god.

Grujaja is intersex, but is too anxious to really care either way or out too much thought into it yet. I could see him being the most recently immigrated to the Grove and possibly hypersensitive to the sunlight (The Drain is at the bottom of the ocean don’t @ me).

Vibiano is non-binary preferring he/him, but prefers to dress either way. Like Patty, he’s native to the Grove and doesn’t care so much about what people think of him. The gender presentation isn’t the thing that’s most important to him—so long as he dresses fabulously and designs his own outfits, that’s all he cares about.

Anyway. Poses. Enjoy my headcanons!

[thebreakfastgenie]

hi, I just wanted to say that saying “did I stutter” is ableist and there are a lot of different ways to convey the same thing in a manner that is not offensive.

I mean, I guess I see your point, and it’s not a phrase I really use much, I used it in that one post because I was trying to invoke a particular era of tumblr vernacular for effect.

My gut reaction to this message was “is it 2014?” and I think this approach went out of style for a reason. Let's talk about it.

It's confrontational and accusatory; it instantly puts the person you're approaching, in this case me, on the defensive. Did I do something wrong? Am I a bad person? I hate to think I've hurt anyone.

It's also not particularly productive, because you didn't explain why it's ableist, and while that may be obvious to you, it probably won't be obvious to the person you're approaching. Especially if that person is someone you assume cares about being ableist and acted out of ignorance, not malice. I'm assuming from the tone of this ask that you believe I care about disabled people, don't want to be ableist, and am interested in correcting my behavior. But if I'm acting out of ignorance, I probably don't understand what's offensive about "did I stutter?" as an idiom.

This confusion can foster more defensiveness. What you're saying doesn't make any sense! How do I know it's true? Maybe it isn't! Maybe I'm right and I don't need to reevaluate any of my behavior! This is something the right takes advantage of a lot; they take a true statement about prejudice, or a real concept like environmental racism, and repeat it out of context, "get this, now they're saying the sun is racist!" It works, because without the appropriate context and background information, the statement sounds nonsensical.

One form of helpful context is expertise--either a credential, like being a speech pathologist, or a lived experience, like having a speech disorder yourself. if you have any expertise you didn't choose to share it, and that's fine--you're under no obligation to do so--but it means I don't have that context either. You also don't have much context about me, and have no idea if I have personal experience with speech disorders or disability activism. I will tell you: I do not have firsthand experience with disability activism. I do not have a stutter, but I did do a couple years of speech therapy because I talked too fast which affected my speech. I don't think this makes me an expert on whether idiomatic references to stuttering are offensive to stutterers, but someone else you approach might think Well I went to speech therapy and that doesn't sound right! or My sister is a speech pathologist and she didn't say it was offensive, I trust her more than anonymous stranger on the internet! and conclude that they know better than you and it isn't worth listening to what you have to say.

Let's take the figure of speech "did I stutter" and its variations (the one I used was "I did not fucking stutter"). What does this figure of speech mean? When someone speaks with a stutter, it's harder to understand them. So the figure of speech means "was I not clear?"

When the 2014-era approach was at its most popular, it was often weaponized by users who hid behind a veneer of consideration for marginalized groups and raising awareness, when their true aim was to extract an apology. The confrontational tone was deliberate, because those users wanted the experience to be humiliating. They wanted to make people feel bad about themselves, because it gave them a sense of power over others. Even when they remained anonymous, they knew what they'd done and could privately revel in their glory while watching the fallout on the person's blog. Shame as a bullying tactic ran rampant in the Your Fave Is Problematic era. I don't think you were doing that, anon, but I think a lot of people associate that style of message with that kind of bullying and I think it's for the best to leave it in 2014.

Here's a conversation opener:

Hi. You may not be aware of this, but speech disorders affect a lot of people. Phrases like "did I stutter" make light the stigma around them. Please consider conveying the same thing in a different way out of respect for their experiences.

It's still a little jarring, because it's still an anonymous tumblr ask, but at least it explains why using that phrase is hurtful. I might still have questions, but now I have something to go on. My reaction to this might be Oh, I didn't think of that! If you think the issue is better discussed in a longer, more conversational format, you can reach out privately if that's something you feel comfortable doing.

In response, I will say this:

"Stutter" doesn't only refer to speech disorders, it's also a verb to describe something almost everyone does at some point. It's very common to trip on your words if you're nervous or excited and this is often described as stuttering or stammering. I don't think "did I stutter" is necessarily making fun of stuttering or stutterers. However, see the point you're making about how it could be offensive. It's not a phrase I use much anyway, I used it in one post because I was trying to evoke a particular tumblr vernacular from a bygone era for a little stylistic flair. I'm not very attached to it and I probably won't use it again. Thanks for pointing this out! We could probably all stand to be more aware about speech disorders.

[a-big-apple]

pls can we get your most niche tlt headcanons/ canon points you think are too overlooked or unappreciated/ fanon you see too often mistaken for canon/ juicy background bits on the babytrap or skater AU or otherwise.. the ppl are starving

omg this is exactly the treat i deserve after doing so many chores today, im gonna hit all these categories just for funsies

niche tlt headcanon: this is maybe more a theory than a pure headcanon but i think someone in Camilla's direct family line, either a parent or a grandparent, was from outside the Houses. Hect is an arithmonym, but it's not Sixth, it's a prefix meaning 100. as there's no 10th (or 100th) House, i like to think this is meant to indicate that someone in her recent family tree was an outsider! also she's hot enough for the Alexandrites, which suggests at least one of her bio parents or grandparents was hot enough for the Nireids and perhaps scored some out-of-House genetic material to spice up the Sixth's diversity. also Silas questions her eligibility to be cav primary, and since she's brilliant and badass and the Sixth don't base these things on bloodline/inheritance, there's no reason for even a prig like Silas to disqualify her other than some kind of citizenship issue. anybody with at least one Sixth parent is considered Sixth, that's their whole deal, but maybe the Eighth take a dimmer view?

smaller but purer headcanon that has no basis in anything except my gut: i think the "very silly" description of herself that Dulcie sent to Pal and Cam, and the drawing Cam sent back (mentioned in TUG), is a reference to this classic of ancient tumblr

overlooked/underappreciated canon moment: at this point i dont think there's anything i have noticed that i haven't seen at least one person blog about, but one of the tiny little things that gives me shrimp emotions is Gideon in the pool scene, after she's had this intense thing with Harrow, and then Harrow starts waxing about her beloved in the Tomb: "[Harrow's] voice had the quality of someone in a long dream. She stared through Gideon without looking at her, and Gideon gently took her hands away from Harrow's jaw. Instead she sat back in the water, buoyed by the salt, her eyes starting to sting from it." she's suddenly being told that Harrow is into someone else, she assumes these feelings she's been slowly catching are doomed before she can even really examine them, she pulls back from the very intimate position they've just been in, and she has a quiet lil cry about it that she won't even acknowledge in the narration. BUT I KNOW WHAT THAT SALT STINGING YOUR EYES IS GIDEON NAV

fanon you see too often mistaken for canon: GIDEON ISN'T STUPID T^T she's not a himbo jock, she's just a jock who doesn't care about necromancy! she also can't sense it, so she naturally has less information than Harrow about what's going on in GtN. she has a baller vocabulary, she's strategic, she's observant, she's super good at what she does, and she adapts to a completely novel situation VERY quickly.

also? i understand why it's visually more appealing to draw Kiriona with her chussy out, or modern au Gideon showing a lot of skin, i dig it, im hot for her too. but Gideon is canonically shy. she doesn't even take off her robes to duel in GtN, and is so constantly hooded that nobody even knows she's a redhead until halfway through the book. Kiriona is buttoned up to the point of wearing a goddamn ascot to cover her neck hole. i definitely understand au situations where her upbringing was different and so she's a little different, that's part of a good au for me, but it still always crosses my mind when i see her with her shirt wide open or her tummy out or in booty shorts or something. she's hot and she wants everyone to think she knows it, but deep down she does not know it and doesn't really flaunt it, except those guns

juicy background bits on babytrap or skater au: hmmmmm. Kiriona would deny it's the reason she hasn't named the baby, but she IS waiting for Harrow. she doesn't feel like she has the right, and she has complex feelings about both the names her own parents gave her. she has a deep-seated sense that Harrow, who is smart and cares a lot about doing things the right way, will be better suited to this responsibility.

in the figure skating au...a minor character from early in the story is going to be very important in the sequel fic, i think.

[lisaiese]

lyrics in EPIC: the musical that changed my life trajectory

I don't know if it is the fact that I spent five years of high school studying Latin and Greek classics that makes me do this, but here I am writing a long ass tumblr post about some lyrics from the songs of a musical based on The Odyssey, the Homeric epic poem.

Enough chit chat, let's start from the lyrics in the first very song of the musical, 'The Horse and The Infant' from The Troy Saga:

The blood on your hands is something you won't lose All you can choose is whose

UGH so good already! Here we have Zeus speaking at the end of the song, basically telling Odysseus that killing in war is his duty as a man and a hero. This obviously kind of sounds like bullshit for us, but we have to understand the ancient culture behind it: in ancient Greece going to war was a symbol of honor. Think of the scene where Hector and Andromache met again, Hector really embodied the "I know that I probably won't come back to you and to our son (opsie), but I have to go"

Andromache said: “Dearest, your own great strength will be your death, and you have no pity on your little son, nor on me, ill-starred, who soon must be your widow…Please take pity upon me then, stay here on the rampart, that you may not leave your child an orphan, your wife a widow.” Hector responded: “All these things are in my mind also, lady; yet I would feel deep shame before the Trojans, and the Trojan women with trailing garments, if like a coward I were to shrink aside from the fighting.”

A key word is shame: many times my professor told us students about the 'shame culture' in ancient Greece, which Hector clearly refers to here. Therefore, it's either honor or shame: for the Greek dying in war was better than living like a coward. Through these lyrics - and also the next song of the album ('Just a Man') - we can notice how the characterization of Odysseus is different from that of heroes like Hector and Achilles: he seems more human. After all, it is no coincidence that he is characterized not only by physical strength but above all by intelligence: he is a 'Warrior of the Mind' (quoting one of the most iconic songs of the musical). In the first verse of The Odyssey, Homer calls Odysseus πολύτροπος, a term that literally means "of many turns" and can be translated as multifaceted, versatile, cunning.

Next lyrics are from 'Remember Them' from The Cyclops Saga:

What good would killing do? When mercy is a skill More of this world could learn to use

I chose these lyrics for two reason:

they are so well connected with the first ones and show how Odysseus still has his morality here (you have a long way my friend)

it is such a good phrase honestly, let's appreciate it

Actually, something to reflect on could be the theme of mercy, but I don't really remember a lot of information about it and I don't want to write about things I'm not so sure about. In fact, what I rememeber pretty well is mercy related to the Roman/Latin culture, in particular to the figure of Ceasar: Cicero attributes to Caesar the virtue of clementia, which is the term used in Latin to represent mercy. Apparently he is the only one who, among all the military leaders, stood out for his goodness of soul, so noble that it is not enough to simply compare him to great men, but he must be judged similar to a god («haec qui faciat, non ego eum cum summis viris comparo, sed simillimum deo iudico»). That's basically everything I can give you about the topic. I would dive into it more by talking about the musical itself, analysing how this is connected to Odysseus' relationship with his morality, but then I would really be writing an essay here and now, which would ruin the order and logic of this very long text.

Let's move on to the next lyrics from 'Ruthlessness', from The Ocean Saga, which made me gasp so hard the first I heard them:

You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great A Greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I have 'Cause you fight to save lives, but won't kill and don't get the job done

Speechless. Mind-blowing. The earth shook. You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great Hello??? Sorry Ulysses, but Poseidon ate. 'Cause you fight to save lives, but won't kill and don't get the job done Like, where do I even start to talk about this. Poseidon is actually throwing the naked truth in Odysseus' face! Everything so far has a logic:

Zeus tells Odysseus that he has to kill Hector's son Astynax (which he does in the end, for the sake of going home)

Odysseus spares Polyphemus (maybe because of guilt? He is just a man, afterall...)

That mercy results in a literal god (Poseidon) wanting to have vengeance: if Odysseus had been ruthless, he would have put mercy upon himself (yeah that's a direct reference to the lyrics Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves)

Now we finally arrive at my favorite saga (aaaaa): The Circe saga. Starting from some very simple lyrics, but so impactful, from the 'Puppeteer':

But this was a hell of a twist, cause we are weak to a power like this What was it? A woman

Hell yeah, a woman! Clearly, you are just a man (another reference, got you!). Ok, return to serious talk. I think most of us know that women were often portrayed as bewitchers, source of evil and misfortune, in ancient times, especially in the Greek culture. Let's think about the story of Pandora's box: it is a myth narrated by Hesiod in the poem Works and Days. According to it, the first woman on earth, named Pandora, was gifted a jar by the gods. However, led by curiosity, she opened it and, by doing so, she released sickness, death and many other unspecified evils. She then closed the jar and only one thing was left behind: Hope. This story (one of many and one of the most famous) perfeclty exemplifies how women were considered dangerous and, at the same time, powerful, as bringers of evil.

Next, from the same saga, let me present to you the best lyrics from the song 'There Are Other Ways':

There are many ways of persuasion There are many modes of control Maybe showing one act of kindness Leads to kinder sould down the road

AAAAAAA. Circe you are such *incomprehensible adjectives of praise* woman. Here Circe basically gives Odysseus' morality hope, let me explain: until now we saw how Odysseus' kind soul and his mercy led him to antagonize a god, on the other hand (in theory) killing a child opened the doors for him to return home. From these observations the only "lesson" that can be deduced is that behaving like a "monster" is better than just "being a man" (yeah I love referencing). BUT Circe kind of destroys this reasoning, proving that a good soul can take him so far... aaaand of course it's a woman who does this

Moving on: The Underworld Saga, lyrics sung by our favorite prophet Tiresias:

I see you wife with a man who is haunting A man with a trail of bodies (who?)

This song? Chills. Literal Chills. The song in itself is a forshadowing, an oracle. I chose these lyrics specifically because they forshadow Odysseus' darkest moments in the journey, by specifically pointing out what he becomes: [...] a man who is haunting A man with a trail of bodies Who? Odysseus you ask. It's you. It's you in the future, and you know why it's "no longer you" (yeah, another quoting)? Because you will have lost your morality by then. Honestly? We kind of all expected that, sorry not sorry Odysseus.

And directly connected to that we have the lyrics from 'Scylla', from The Tunder Saga (it's orange because there is no yellow):

We are the same, you and I, I

Just this one final verse, so powerful. Odysseus encountered mermaids and was merciless with them, after that he went to the lair of Scylla. They are actually the same: monsters. Or at least, Odysseus has become like her.

And now, in The Wisdom Saga, we welcome back the badass of the arena: Athena! Let's hear what she wisely says in 'Little Wolf':

One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined

It's always the women guys. Athena's appearance to help Telemachus fighting the suitors is so crucial: her words and herself gift us that ray of hope and goodness that was lacking ever since The Underworld Saga. Here she refers to Telemachus, Odysseus' son, who is called a young wolf. While at the beginning of the song the suitors were using the term "little wolf" to basically mock him, Athena changes the connotation: he is not a little wolf, he is a just a young wolf, with a good soul and heart. Even a wolf (an animal) is more good-hearted than a man, but here who actually is the animal and who is the man? Athena, a godess, knows best.

Finally, The Vengeance Saga, from which the best song (almost cried listening to it) is, of course, 'Six Hundred Strike':

After everything you've done... ...how will you sleep at night? Next to my wife...

OMG. Literally OMG. Here, at the final showdown between Odysseus and Poseidon, our hero prevails. Poseidon asks: "After everyhting you've done... how will you sleep at night?". I don't know if my interpretation is right, but this is what I think Poseidon meant with his words:

after everything you've done (and been through) to get here... how will you sleep at night? -> will the trauma spare you?

after everything you've done as you became a monster... how will you sleep at night? -> will the guilt spare you?

And Odysseus just answers with a "Next to my wife", because that's what he wanted from the very beginning, to come home, and he will achieve his goal. His story is the story of a journey: obviously, a journey back home, but most importantly, a journey of someone who is 'Just a Man' (got you again with the reference). Odysseus is just a man, a human being who has encountered countless obstacles, who has had his ups and downs, who has thrown his morality into the sea to return home. And what is this, if not life?

[quackingnerd]

If you're interested in supporting one very broke duck floating in an endless void, you can now commission me! Or you can just send me money for the heck of it, I won't stop you!

All details below the cut!!

If you're interested in my full commission reference sheet, find it here on my bluesky! (I do offer NSFW commissions and I post NSFW content there! So please be aware before clicking! All nsfw information will be found there aswell)

https://bsky.app/profile/quackingnerd.bsky.social/post/3lnnx7jfaak2v

Profile picture/icon: 10$ USD

Chibi style: 10$ USD (per character)

Half Body

flat/simple colors: 15$ (+10 per character)

Shaded: 20$ (+10 per character)

Full body

Flat/simple colors: 20$ (+10 per character)

Shaded: 35$ (+20 per character)

Full OC reference sheet: 60$+ (the price will vary depending on additions you want added)

Background prices will vary

I CAN/WILL DRAW

Humans

furries

ponies

feral

simple backgrounds

I CANT/WONT DRAW

IRL people

bigoted content

mechas

realism

(these lists will change and develop over time)

I only take payment on paypal as of right now, and all dollar amounts will be in USD

How commissioning me will look:

I receive your message in which you state your interest in commissioning me.

Once I message back, you will provide me with what you want drawn, a reference of the character(s) you want drawn, and either a reference or written description of how you want me to draw them. Including pose, any changes to the outfit, what they will be doing, ect. Please be as detailed as possible to avoid confusion.

I will send you the final price, and once you have agreed and paid 50% of the agreed amount as a non refundable down payment, I will begin work on your art.

At the sketch stage, I will do a few rough drafts, you will pick the one you like best, suggest any changes you want made, and I will edit it until you are happy.

After this stage, I will then receive the other 50% of payment before I continue to do any other work.

I will then do a cleaner sketch, then line art, flat colors, then full shading if that is what you paid for. I will send you progress updates at each stage, and make any edits you want done. After the full image is complete and you have confirmed your satisfaction, I will do 3 minor edits free of charge.

After 2 weeks or less, given nothing came up to prevent me from working, I will send you the finished artwork.

If you are commissioning me to create a character from the ground up, no worries! Just provide me with any inspiration you want to inspire the character, and I will work closely with you to ensure you get exactly what you want.

If you're interested in commissioning me, DM me here or on Bluesky. I check my tumblr most often however.

--- TOS ---

By messaging me, you're agreeing to the following terms:

My art is for personal use only, such as a profile picture or banner. You will not use my art for your business without my permission, that includes as a business logo, merchandise, advertisement, and any other way you would profit from doing so. I charge charge 75% - 200% more for this service. If you do so behind my back, I will block and blacklist you from commissioning me ever again.

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Do not pressure, insult, belittle, or be rude to me in any way about my prices. If you do, I will add a 20$ rude-fee or block you at my digression, and I will keep 100% of any payment you've already made to me.

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If for reasons you need to cancel your commission after paying the 50% deposit but BEFORE the sketch as been approved, I can give a partial refund (I will keep 25% of the total cost minimum).

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Once the full image is complete, I will send you two versions of the final piece. One without my watermark for personal use, and one with my watermark for social media posting.

By commissioning me, this means you have properly read, understand, and AGREE to the terms listed above

[everydayyoulovemeless]

Hello, friend. I really love all your works you post on Tumblr. How do you think Courier and his/her companions from Fallout: New Vegas would interact with Sole Survivor and his/her companions from Fallout 4?

FNV Companions Interacting With Fo4 Companions

➼ Word Count » 0.9k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ A/N » This is such a fun concept! I lost count after a while so I hope I included the pairings you were looking for!

Arcade finds Curie's synth body incredibly fascinating and the two will sit and question each other for the longest time.

Boone reminds MacCready of the toy soldier Lucy gave him and either can’t stop talking to him or avoids him entirely out of guilt.

Lily realizes how much more different she is compared to Strong, but it doesn’t stop her from listening to him ramble about Shakespeare or treat him any differently from her other grandchildren. She loves him and they hit it off quite well.

Raul and Nick are both grandpas who’ve got memories from before the war, so, unsurprisingly, they hit it off quite well. They’ll talk about their lives before the bombs and how it all compares to their current ones.

Cait and Cass hit it off almost immediately and leave the initial group to go drinking. The two of them will open up and talk about anything and everything.

Veronica ends up hanging around Danse as often as she can since they both stand for the same cause. It ends up just being Veronica rambling about how much fun she's had traveling with her group and Danse just awkwardly nodding and saying he hates his.

Codsworth will go and clean the rust off of ED-E. They'll end up forming a brother-like relationship since Codsworth can understand his beeping and ED-E likes how doting and friendly he is.

Dogmeat ends up being really scared of Rex because he won't stop chasing him around.

X6-88 thought Arcade talked too much and decided to just ignore all his questions about the Institute.

Deacon immediately disguises himself as Boone the second he notices that they look alike. Boone hates it but he can't seem to get the spy off his trail.

Old Longfellow and Lily argued like an old married couple, with Lily wanting him to quit his drinking habits and Old Longfellow saying she's "crazier than the people in the fog".

Hancock thinks Raul is great and will offer him a place in Goodneighbor. He might even end up referring to him as "Uncle Raul" if they stay together long enough.

Cass assumed Preston was NCR and he got incredibly flustered when she started hitting on him.

Piper and Veronica become best friends when they find out they both like scavenging and being everywhere except where they're supposed to be.

ED-E freaks MacCready out since it reminds him of the Enclave Eyebots in the Capital Wasteland. He'll try his best to avoid him, but the bot seemed to really like the comics he carried with him in his bag.

Old Longfellow loves Rex and gladly takes him to go hunt mole rats.

Hancock REALLY likes flirting with Arcade and does it whenever he sees the opportunity.

At first, Boone and Cait didn't seem to like each other, but then they started talking about how much they both despised slavers and suddenly became an incredibly reliable duo when it came to killing legionaries and raiders.

Lily and Codsworth really enjoy each other's company and will sit together in patio chairs and drink lemonade or something.

Try as he might, Raul doesn't fall for any of Deacon's lies and, instead, just laughs it right off.

Dogmeat really likes Cass and will follow her around until she finally relents and gives him her hat. (which won't be for a long while)

Gage thinks that Veronica's annoying and will either avoid her or will try and get her sold into the legion.

ED-E and Curie end up getting along really well due to their general innocence and curiosity.

Danse will probably end up washing off the legion marking on Rex's side and replacing it with either a Brotherhood or Minutemen logo (depending on where he's at in the story). He doesn't think it'd be right to just leave the markings of a society built off the backs of slaves and wants him to represent something better.

Veronica reminds Nick a lot of Piper, so he'll sit and listen to her ramble on about everything she wants to see, and he'll gladly do his best to keep her out of trouble.

Piper is constantly hitting Raul with questions because she's desperate to learn more about what Mexico is or how the world was before the bombs. She finds his story so interesting and will do anything to get more information out of him.

At some point, Preston will go up to Boone and start a conversation with him, saying that he really appreciates everything the NCR has done to help out on the west side. They could both talk about their respective factions for hours and they do.

Arcade teaches Strong all he knows about Macbeth and literature in general, and in turn, Strong shows Arcade how to stomp someone till they pop.

Lily will keep telling X6-88 to take his jacket off since it's "too hot out here to be in all that!" He'll eventually relent and will be handed a sweet little shirt completely out of character for him that she had stashed in her purse prior.

Gage and Cass get into a bar fight. It could honestly be for anything, their thoughts on slavery, how they treat strangers, their sense of family. These two just can't get along.

[mask131]

I have been trying to make this post for a long time now... But I kept pushing it off again and again, because I thought if I made it I would be ripped to pieces by Tumblr's wild beasts. Now that the Gaiman accusations appeared (and that older cases were dug up), I have to admit I had a selfish little sigh of relief because I thought I could finally make this post... But then I quickly realized upon seeing all the misinformation and "hot takes" people were sharing around that my post might potentially get support just because it is against Gaiman's work... And I don't want that either because it is just my opinion about an adaptation and a TV series, and it has nothing to do with the crimes talked about currently. This is why I won't tag it "Neil Gaiman".

So I will make this post, but be warned, I had this opinion this the release of season 1 so it's old news. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way here is my opinion:

I do not like the Good Omens series.

Shocking reveal, isn't it? I have never hidden that Good Omens is one of my favorite novels ever. Heck it was because of Good Omens that I decided to give a shot to Gaiman's works, because before I just rolled my eyes at stuff like Coraline and was a dedicated Pratchett fanboy. Good Omens the book was a big part of my life, and I still love dearly this book - I am still a bit pissed off that people forget it wasn't all Gaiman, it was Pratchett too.

But I am not surprised people think it so... because of the series. The show adaptation. Which I do not actually like. In fact, I think I posted a bit about this when season 1 was over, and then I just shut myself silent because the show-fans of GO were just annoying and irritating to me. And one of their irritating trait was to completely erase or forget about Pratchett's involvment, and only praise and talk and refer to Gaiman as the sole creator of Good Omens which is... deeply infuriating.

I did not even watch season 2. I don't know what it is about, I just know the plot of episode 1, and that's literaly it. I don't know who are the characters of season 2, what is its plot, what is its twists... Never had interest to watch it, never bothered. Why? Well two reasons.

Reason A: Season 1 did not really made me giggle with glee or smile with happiness or cheer with enthusiasm. The announcement did, the pre-release pictures and promos did, the first episodes did... But by the end of season 1 I was just... "Okay? That's it? I guess... it's nice. I prefer the book though." Yes, they tried to stay faithful to the novel, yes they paid heavy homage to Pratchett, yes I understand why so many people loved it... and yet I am amazed at how different the show is from the novel. Because despite being faithful in the portions it adapts... the show removes a LOT from the original novel. It has been explained as budget cuts, unfinished post-productions, time constraint, the limits of a TV show... some of the deleted scenes are bonus in the DVDs, some only exist in the official script, some never reached the script stage at all...

But here's the thing: by removing these parts, the creators of the show made a story that isn't at all the novel. And as a result, when chatting with fans of the show, I ended up realizing we had a "deaf dialogue" as we didn't speak of the same story or the same characters. Take for example the addition of an entire episode dedicated to the backstory of Crowley and Aziraphale. Not bad in idea, very enjoyable for a fan of the Good Omens world... but very detrimental in the scope of interpreting the story. Because this, and the big advertisement around these characters, and the big stars put in their role, and the TV guides and reviews description always starting with "An angel and a demon on earth"... It led everybody to think "Good Omens" is a story about Aziraphale and Crowley. That they are the main characters, the protagonists, and everybody is a side-character.

THEY'RE NOT! Yes they are one of the protagonists - ONE of the protagonists. Yes they appear on the covers, it doesn't mean it is a story about them. It is a story about Adam, and Adam is, for example, as much a protagonist of the story as Crowley and Aziraphale. Another noticeable change: the novel ends with Adam, because it opens with his birth (well, not immediately, but it is the main big event of the opening of the novel) and thus is concluded with him. In the show they end with Crowley and Aziraphale, and a bonus section AGAIN pulling the plot by the side of the duo. GO the novel is very Pratchettian in its structure and handling of the characters - it is a traditional "early Discworld" style of storytelling, almost like a traditional Russian novel, where you have a lot of characters leading separate but linked storylines, and it blurs the line between who is the "protagonist" and who is just a "secondary character" as there is no real central focus outside of the story itself, which is the narrative lead instead of a specific character.

Results? Now everybody thinks GO is primarily and firstly a romance between an angel and a demon. When in fact the original novel is, first and foremost, about a parody of the Apocalypse and about the displacement of an Antichrist - displacement of which Crowley and Aziraphale are the most active agents, but it doesn't make them the sole protagonists of the story. This is why the announcing of season 2 made me lose interest: I could have bought new Crowley and Aziraphale adventures... but without Newt, Anathema, Shadwell, the Horsepersons of the Apocalypse, Adam and the Them? They were placing their bets on new characters invented for the show that I had never heard about, so of course it did not interest me.

(I also STRONGLY defend the idea that the novel Crowley-Aziraphale relationship wasn't meant to be just and solely a romance, that it was a bit more ambiguous and open for interpretations, but that's a fight I have to lead another time)

I am still pissed off at how GO (show) fans treat Adam and the Them sections like garbage and as parts that could be entirely cut off - when they were crucial and the heart of the novel. It was a proof that the show had manage them very poorly.

Reason B: I did not trust Gaiman's claims.

Remember, this is before the whole business of sex crimes popped up. I am not saying this retrospectively. But when season 2 was announced and released, I did not trust Gaiman with his claims of "continuying Pratchett's legacy".

See, it was well-known, recorded and reported that yes, Pratchett and Gaiman had worked on a potential sequel to Good Omens before Pratchett's death. And when Gaiman explained that season 2 would be based off those left-over ideas and concepts for this sequel (the same way several of the added segments of season 1 were leftovers of this same unwritten novel) I was "Great!". But the way Gaiman shifted around when talking about this on Tumblr bothered me.

Originally he claimed season 2 would be based on the sequel novel. But then he claimed season 3 would be based on the unfinished sequel, with season 2 merely being a "bridge" to season 3. And then he added that however season 2 was not a "filler" but was "needed" to be able to reach and access season 3's story? Despite season 3 being supposedly based on the unmade DIRECT sequel to the Good Omens novel, an unmade sequel that several elements of were directly introduced in season 1? This made me very suspicious and distrustful. This is also why I never bothered watching season 2 - it always felt to me as if Gaiman was trying to sell his own ideas under the name of Pratchett, and since only he was in the know, we couldn't prove anything.

Now to be fair, Gaiman WAS fair in handling Pratchett's moments in season 1. For example, while yes he had some of the Pratchett-written moments cut (like some of the Them's scenes), he also had several of his own sections cut (for example it is known that the Four Horsepersons of the Apocalypse scenes were mainly written by Gaiman - and I was really pissed off at how they removed basically half of their scenes because they are one of my favorite parts of the novel). But you can unfortunately feel how Pratchett wasn't on board because of precisely how his main part in the novel (Adam and the Them) ended up underwhelming and ignored by everybody... Which leads me to

Little C: This one is basically a bonus thought I am throwing here because I don't know how else to introduce it. The Good Omens show (at least season 1, again I didn't watch season 2) was so sanitized... A lot of the dark humor was cut out of the show, and it felt so hypocritical and such a classic "Amazon sanitizing" job. For example Famine's scene with the dieting model was cut off to "not offend people" and "not be triggering". Despite it being a very much needed commentary and thing to point out about human evil? And the line about the "faggots" was cut-off again to not be "offensive"... Despite it being a very clever pun on UK English versus USA English and the USA having proven VERY recently that they are NOT actually a gay-friendly nation? They gave flavor and spice and a much needed dose of the "anger under the humor" typical of Pratchett's work, and removing these little bits here and there made the show feel a bit... sugary sweet? A bit sanitized.

When tboredman said he was a bit wary about the coming of the Good Omens show because of how he perceived "red flags" with the trailers and promos, I was quite puzzled... Unfortunately now I can see it was a literal omen. By the way, if you want a very cool, very nice, very inventive webcomic that pays homage and takes inspiration from Good Omens while being its own hilarious yet dark Apocalypse parody... I suggest you check Boredman's Apocalyptic Horseplay. It is really cool! It is on Webtoon or on this very Tumblr (check @tboredman )

[lichilly]

"It Will Come Back" — Hozier

Werewolf Joseph AU (Song Analysis)

I heavily encourage you to go listen to this song, either along with the analysis or by itself ! This post won't hold the same weight (in my opinion) if you go in blindly!

(tumblr hates me trying to upload my own mp3.. so I had to link to youtube instead..)

I’ve loved this song for a long time, and as I’ve delved into the Werewolf Joseph AU, I’ve noticed that it heavily relates to how I view werewolf Joseph. This song perfectly portrays the push and pull of Joseph’s internal struggle between his human side and his more feral, werewolf nature. Alright, let's dive in!!

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to look at it, look at it like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to talk to it, talk to it like that

These opening lines reflect Joseph’s internal conflict. The “It” throughout the song refers to his werewolf side—a part of him he believes shouldn’t be acknowledged. By referring to it as “It,” Joseph distances himself from this aspect of his identity, as if it’s something separate, something dangerous that could easily latch onto the MC if provoked.

Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul Honey, make this easy Leave it to the land, this is what it knows Honey, that's how it sleeps

This verse speaks to Joseph’s primal nature, which is deeply rooted in him and exists beyond his human control. The line “Don’t give it a hand, offer it a soul” is a warning to the MC. Engaging with Joseph on a deeper level—offering more than just superficial affection—awakens something in him that he struggles to suppress. The "land" here symbolizes Joseph’s instinctual connection to his feral side, which only "sleeps" when left undisturbed.

Don't let it in with no intention to keep it Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it Honey, don't feed it, it will come back

This verse highlights the inevitability of Joseph’s return to the MC if they show him kindness or affection. His feral side cannot be ignored, and the MC’s kindness, fuels Joseph’s obsession. The warning “Don’t be kind to it/don’t feed it” suggests that even a small gesture of kindness has significant effects on Joseph. It awakens a hunger in him.

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to smile at me, smile at me like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

This verse echoes the earlier warnings but with a more personal touch. By this point, Joseph and the MC have developed a closer bond. The MC’s smile, their touch—simple, human gestures—have a powerful effect on Joseph. Their growing closeness blurs the lines between affection and danger, making it harder for Joseph to maintain control over his instincts.

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need

This verse is crucial in understanding Joseph’s internal struggle. When he’s alone, he has a sense of control over who he is, but the moment he sees the MC, his control begins to slip. He becomes “something else,” his feral nature taking over. The line “you should never know how easy you are to need” reveals how irresistible the MC is to Joseph, a fact that he knows the MC could never fully comprehend.

It can't be unlearned I've known the warmth of your doorways Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you

This lyric can be seen as both literal and symbolic. In the fanfiction I’m writing based around this song, the MC is staying in a cabin in the middle of winter. The cabin represents a warm, safe space, not just physically but emotionally—a place linked to the MC. Joseph feels a sense of warmth and safety in their presence, something he’s never experienced before.

Oh, please, give me mercy no more That's a kindness you can't afford I warn you, baby, each night, as sure as you're born You'll hear me howling outside your door

This verse marks a turning point for Joseph. Here, he fully succumbs to his true nature. The line “You’ll hear me howling outside your door” signifies his complete loss of control. Hozier’s almost growling delivery of this lyric emphasizes Joseph’s transformation—he’s no longer the man he once was, but something far more primal and dangerous. His howling outside the MC’s door is both a warning and a declaration that his obsession has taken over completely.

Don't you hear me howling, babe? Don't you hear me howling, babe? Don't you hear me howling, babe? Don't you hear me howling? Don't you hear me howling? Don't you hear me howling, babe?

This is my favorite part of the song ( no surprise there hehe). The repeated question, “Don’t you hear me howling?” serves as SUCH a haunting conclusion. The repetition, combined with the loud drumbeat that, to me, mimics knocking on a door, suggests desperation. The haunting, eerie nature of these lines reflects the idea that Joseph is no longer fully in control—he is now fully driven entirely by his feral nature and his obsession with the MC.

-

I hope you enjoyed this analysis! It was quite difficult trying to wrangle all my buzzing thoughts together but alas, I have done it. If you're interested in learning a little more about the werewolf AU you can find more about it over on my twitter linked at the top! Fair warning, most of it is incoherent rambles asdjldkfa

[the-californicationist]

Ask Guidelines

These are my guidelines for fic requests via tumblr asks. I truly adore receiving prompts or fic ideas, but please try to respect my boundaries. I do make an effort to answer almost all of my asks, but some of them are just outside of my comfort zone.

I will never write for or about minors as MCs. Minors are usually not included in my fics as side characters either. Asks for minors as MCs in fics will get you instantly blocked. I have a zero tolerance policy for this. My blog is adults only.

I mainly write for Price and Soap. I will write for Gaz, Alex, and Alejandro. I usually don't write for Ghost, Konig, or Laswell. I won't write for Makarov or Graves.

I will write for specific kinks as requests, but if you want to see my full list, DM me. Unless the premise is good, I don't enjoy writing for requests about age-gaps, drugs, cruelty, CNC, baby-trapping, cheating, or cuckholding. I won't write for most requests about MC death, NC, DD/lg, unsafe sadism, or blood play. I don’t write ANY fics with scat/watersports, race play, fat-shaming, trans-shaming, homophobia, infantilization, or any sort of body horror.

I usually write cis-female POV, but I feel relatively comfortable writing for gender-neutral or cis-male POV. I am willing to write for trans-m/f POV, but I may have questions about how you would like that character to be represented and referred to. I'm also happy to write slash like Ghoap or Gaz/Price.

Please understand that I usually have multiple projects going on, and I work full-time. It may take me more than a month to even read your ask much less fulfill it. Your patience is appreciated.

If you have any questions, please just DM me. I don't bite, but I may lick. 👁️👅👁️

✌️🩷 Cali

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍

[dandelion-wings]

Okay so the terrible secret is that the thing that got me thinking about underwater kissing (and associated breathplay) this morning was tossing around Yet Another AU with @theabysscomeshome. They referred to a character as "Evil Jean," I laughed so hard I wanted to write something, I thought about how I'd write this little section without explaining the entire worldbuilding and backstory (ngl we toss around omegaverse AUs mostly so that we can do worldbuilding with them >> evopsych is fun when it isn't real), and then I drifted sideways into imagining the Jean/Eula and wrote that other fic, thinking I would write that instead of this. And then it turned out not to be an 'instead'!

This one stays on Tumblr, though, because while I tried to keep everything I actually put in here self-contained enough not to have to explain The Whole AU in story notes, it is just a piece sliced off of a way larger setting and plot. Warnings for the obvious omegaverse, of course, but also child abuse, near-drowning, and completely unnegotiated breathplay.

---

"Ah, there they are. My brother's omega, and another of her alphas. Let me introduce you."

Kaeya gestures towards a table at the far end of the plaza. Well away, Jean sees, from the slowly-widening circle around her mother and Kaeya's father--but the Grand Master has already waved them off twice now, and is watching the situation himself. Her mother won't actually attack Kaeya's father. She thinks. And if she's wrong, the Grand Master can handle it. Can probably handle it.

The point is that he doesn't want her and Kaeya in the middle of whatever happens, and she has to agree that that's the right call. Involving two senior alphas' children in a dispute between them is generally a bad idea, even if she and Kaeya are both adults themselves. And she does want to meet the rest of Kaeya's family. His brother had been quite a nice man, and Kaeya has spoken very well of his omega.

"What are their names?" she asks, tucking her arm into his and letting him lead her away.

"Ah. I can tell you the omega's, but as for her-" he gestures at the alpha "-this is embarrassing…."

"I won't laugh," Jean promises.

"Why not? It's funny, actually. I've spent the past ten years thinking of her as 'Evil Jean.'"

Jean does a double-take. Now that she looks, though, she can see it. The alpha's face is a little narrower, her chin a little sharper, her hair a foot longer and maybe half a shade darker--but it's still golden and pulled back in a ponytail, and she has eyes that could be either grey or blue, depending on the light. The shape of her face, moreover, is a thinned version of what Jean sees in the mirror every morning. Not a sibling resemblance, but more than close enough to make her wonder if a long-ago Gunnhildr perhaps married into that Khaenri'ahan line, or vice-versa.

"I see the resemblance," she says. Then she hesitates, because Kaeya has been telling her over and over that Mondstadt's understanding of how they treat omegas is as much a misapprehension as their own beliefs about Mondstadt. But- "Why 'evil'?"

***

Kaeya wishes that he could have bathed with anyone else. He understands why his brother's omega has to be here, that he has to stay with her and let her guide him and keep him safe, but this is his least favorite of her alphas. He doesn't want her anywhere near his bath.

He does understand why she's here too, though, even if he doesn't like it. She's the omega's favorite, even if no one would say that out loud. It makes her happy to have her here, and so here she is, sitting in the water while his brother's omega combs his hair, giving one of her lectures.

"Remember, Mondstadt has so many omegas that a lot of them only have one alpha," she reminds him, as she always does, as she has every time she thinks of something nasty to make him squirm. "Which means they have enough that if an alpha decides they don't like theirs, and want to bond with another, they can just kill them to break the bond. So you have to behave perfectly if you don't want whatever alpha you get to kill you."

"I will," Kaeya says, trying to keep his voice soft and obedient, because she'd punished him last time when he hadn't spoken--but he'd forgotten that she always finds an excuse to punish him.

"Did I tell you to talk?" She reaches out and seizes a hank of his hair, snatching him away from her omega and leaning in. "They won't want you to talk there. They want their omegas to be perfectly quiet and perfectly still, unless they're told. It's why they don't let them fight, to keep them docile, and so if they don't want them anymore, like I said-"

And she shoves his head under the water.

Kaeya does his best not to flail like instinct tells him to. He already knows better than to try and scream. He holds himself still, trembling with the effort, trembling all the harder as his lungs begin to burn. He can't breathe. He wants so badly to open his mouth, to suck in air, but he knows how stupid that would be. All he can do is hold still and wait, and she'll pull him out. She has to. His brother will kill her if she kills Kaeya, and then his father will raise her as an Abyss Mage to kill her twice.

He wants to believe that. But his chest hurts so, so bad, and he's getting scared, and he wants to thrash and fight and he can't, and she's crazy enough that maybe she's willing to risk dying to kill him first.

Just as he thinks he's going to lose control and breathe in water, she pulls him up again. "He's fine," she says, sulkily, to her omega. "He just needed a demonstration."

"He understands," her omega says, soft and calm, and sets down her knife beside the tub, right where it had been before Kaeya had gone under. "You do, don't you, Kaeya? You'll do wonderfully in Mondstadt. I'm sure of it."

This time Kaeya doesn't risk talking, just nods. He watches the alpha lean back in the tub, lounging against its curve like a predator, watching them with satisfaction in her eyes. Kaeya looks away. He watches the water, instead, the little ripples in it, as her omega--his brother's omega, who had picked up her knife to defend him--resumes combing his hair.

"She wouldn't have actually hurt you," she whispers into Kaeya's ear. Kaeya thinks about the knife, and the alpha's sulky tones, and how she's looking at them still, but he doesn't dare do anything but nod again.

***

Kaeya chuckles ruefully. "She was the one who told me most of the scare-stories about Mondstadt, that's all."

'That's all' covers a lot of ground, Jean knows. She remembers how terrified he'd been as a child, afraid of her, of Diluc, of their parents, of making any wrong move, unable even to speak Mond back then to explain that terror. At the time she'd thought it was all because of how they'd met and their captors back then--she has nightmares, sometimes, of the knife the bandits had held to his throat to ensure her and Diluc's compliance, of resisting a little too long and seeing it sink into his flesh. He'd let them think that for so long. Only later, after he confessed his true origins, had he told them all that Khaenri'ah believed of Mondstadt, who after all had sent that long-ago expedition after the Cataclysm.

Diluc had been so much angrier about that confession, but also so much angrier about those stories in turn. Kaeya's family is lucky that he chose not to come to this event. Jean hasn't been able to hold onto her anger; if she thinks too much about what he'd thought of them, thought of her, for so long, these days it only brings sorrow.

"They're not true," she reminds him, hoping, as she always does, that he believes her. That she doesn't frighten him any longer. "Does she frighten you?" Is she one of the many reasons Jean had scared him?

***

Kaeya wishes that Jean would stop insisting on baths together. He knows, knows, that she won't hurt him. No one actually drowns omegas here--and if someone ever did, Jean would be the one to relentlessly ensure they were hanged. But what he knows doesn't erase an old, old fear.

At least she takes it gracefully when he refuses to let her wash his hair. He washes hers, instead, and lets her lean into him, often falling half-asleep if it's been a long day. It's a little easier every time to smile and pretend he enjoys it just as much as she does, curling together in the bath.

Today, though, it's bad, and he doesn't know why. It's been years of this. He knows he's safe. The last time they'd done this he'd cracked bad jokes all the way through until she'd been a giggling mess, and he'd been able to keep laughing even through her turning around and grabbing his shoulders and kissing him. This time she's not even touching him, just leaning back against the edge of the tub, half-asleep again, taking a rare opportunity to lounge.

And in the midst of this harmless domestic tableau, Kaeya wants to claw his skin off.

He's glad Jean's eyes are closed; he doesn't have to perform. But he can't keep himself from shifting in the tub, restless, with nothing to do. At least if she was kissing him--or they were indulging in what often follows kissing, because Jean practically has a fetish for coupling here, where there's no extra cleanup--he would have something to focus on. Instead they're both clean, she's falling asleep after a long day at work, and if he tries to get up and leave she'll feel obliged to get up after him instead of enjoying a nice long soak.

Maybe kissing will be a distraction. Kaeya shifts in closer and cups her cheek.

Jean makes a sleepy little noise, eyes half-opening, then a much more pleasant nose as their lips meet. She shifts to accomodate him, kissing him more thoroughly. Her breath is sweet from post-dinner ablutions, with a tinge of Anemo on top of it. Her Vision is on the edge of the tub; it's new to her, and she keeps it always close. She'd used it to save a knight with a collapsed lung this morning, she'd told him, recounting how she breathed into his mouth until it inflated again, delighted to have the power to heal her knights right there in her hand.

The thought that flashes across Kaeya's mind should make him recoil. Instead he seizes on it, desperately eager, just as he seizes her shoulders and pulls her backwards, down on top of him as he falls back into the tub. Water rises around them both, and suddenly he can't breathe.

Except that he can, with Jean's mouth against his, her Anemo surging into him with her outward breath. Just as she'd described it for that knight. Kaeya inhales sharply, dragging her breath into himself, and feels it fill his chest and soothe away the burning in his lungs. He keeps Jean held tight until she realizes what he's doing and shifts to rest on her elbows, breathing very deliberately to coil her Anemo between them.

She doesn't know what he's thinking about, just that he's come up with something fun to do with her Vision. He can feel her smile against his mouth. She kisses him deep, keeping them both breathing, panting into each other's mouths. Slowly the jittery feeling running through him fades away, and the warmth of arousal takes its place. He kisses more intently, more hungrily, light-headed and greedy, running his hands along her sides.

He wants to get his mouth elsewhere. He pushes up, and Jean rises, smoothly, pulling him up with her. Only once they're above the surface does she break the kiss, smiling at him with sparkling eyes.

"Where did you get that idea?" she whispers, her voice jumping on the last word as his hands move down.

Kaeya smiles at her, leaning in to kiss his way down her neck on the way to his final destination. "I just wanted," he murmurs, between kisses, "to enjoy the fact- that you wouldn't let me drown."

***

At her question, Kaeya raises an eyebrow at her. "Why would she frighten me any more?" he asks, leaning in close enough to whisper in her ear. Then he smirks. "I have the Good Jean right here."