#a reason to stay alive

[callmebabygirll0]

Kimi ni todoke gets another season (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠)

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[positivelyqueer]

all you’ve got to do is pick one activity to do tomorrow. One thing to look forward to. Find a new movie or tv show you want to watch. Check out if there are any local bands playing gigs nearby. Find a random new skill to teach yourself. Do your grocery shopping at a different supermarket. Play stardew valley with someone. Find a new recipe to learn how to cook. See what movies are in cinemas near you. Find a niche museum or community centre in your town. Explore a new park. Go to a thrift store. Go sit in the library for a few hours. Get coffee with a loved one. You can’t leave yet, you’ve got that activity to go do. Keep picking activities. I love you. Stay safe.

[linkcharacter]

why does everyone decide to keep jimmy alive in the jimblasted au?

Think about it please

[essektheylyss]

I'm also still laughing that he really showed up, introduced himself as an Archivist of the Cobalt Soul, and then insinuated that they were going to go extrajudicially hunt down, capture, and "interrogate" a Cerberus Assembly Archmage. Sir, archivists do not do that kind of thing, least of all on their own, LEAST OF ALL with a bunch of random hooligans they were just sent to collect for an unrelated excursion. Quite honestly, that was the thing I kept going back to in evidence of, there is absolutely no way this is a legit archivist.

[shouyuus]

was thinking about it this morning as i was making tea and i think there's a fundamental gap in the advice we give to writers/creators to "first and foremost create for ourselves", bc yes. in the beginning, i am almost always writing for myself. i write all the time, and im sure that artists doodle and paint all the time too. there are things i've written that will never see the light of day and are truly just for me.

and then there are things that i choose to share, because i want to share them. because i'm proud of a story, and want to put it into the world. the act of sharing it is, above all, an invitation.

its me inviting you into a corner of my mind/heart/soul, opening the window and throwing open the curtains and waving, holding up a sign that says "hi! do you like this too? let's talk about it!"

what im asking for is a connection, a conversation. a shared space. digital or otherwise. and the so-called "harm" of "ghost consumption" is not that artists will stop creating art or that writers will stop writing -- no, that's not quite how creativity works (thankfully, and sometimes unfortunately). we will always create.

we just might not be inspired to share it anymore.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Rangi: I don't want to give you up to the next generation!

Kyoshi: Noted

Kyoshi: *doesn't die for another 7 fucking generations*

[queenoftheimps]

One small detail that I really like about the whole 'rest' scene is that Daniel pushes back, but his refusals are so small -- nothing eloquent or deep, exactly, just phrases like 'I have a thing in the city'

And I kind of love that, because on the one hand, yeah, Daniel's response was never gonna be super lengthy and poetic after he'd been concussed and lost a lot of blood. But I think it's also just a nice contrast to all of the eloquence of these vampires (including Armand during this very scene) questioning the point of going on at all, waxing philosophic about existence and whether or not it's worth it.

And then there's this dumb, half-conscious mortal guy and his first instinct is just simply 'I like my life'.

Like IDK, I don't consider myself suicidal, but if some random being tried to hypnotize me into thinking I was, I don't think my reasons would be eloquent. They don't need to be. I want to be alive because I've got tickets to the movies tomorrow, or a delicious soup saved in my fridge, or because I want to pet my friend's cat. Yeah, sure, maybe you're right that my wife will resent me and my kids hate me or whatever, but I have a thing in the city and I'd like to stay alive for that.

[novelconcepts]

As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.

[viroraa]

[melodysbookhaven]

How to stop time: kiss.

How to travel in time: read.

How to escape time: music.

How to feel time: write.

How to release time: breathe.

Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

[metanarrates]

chat i need to get further in my orv reread. so i can write fanfiction about yoo mia.

[triglycercule]

can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???

[rowan-ashtree]

I'm actually still thinking about "do better than i did... or don't."

[dongsonglodang]

"Cuộc đời mỗi người rốt cuộc cũng chỉ cần một người như thế ở bên. Người vì sợ mình buồn mà bỏ qua tất cả mọi cám dỗ, luôn trở về bên cạnh nhau sau tất cả mọi điều..."

[roseofhybrids]

there's something I've been thinking about recently, and tonight seems like a good enough occasion to talk about it

back when I was in therapy, every session my therapist would ask the same question

"What is something you're looking forward to this week"

The first time she asked that, I just figured it was a part of getting to know me as a new patient. Building rapport and trust and such. But when she repeated it every time I spoke to her, it made me wonder why she'd ask that specific question every time

Well, after thinking it over for a while, I think the reason she asked that is because it's really important to have something to look forward to regularly in life. Even if it's something small, as long as it's something you can find a little joy in See, nearly every time she asked me that, my answer would be that I was looking forward to my weekly DND game. It wasn't something too grand, just me and a few others messing around for 2 hours on roll20. But I felt happy when DMing for them, it wasn't much, but it still something that brought a little bit of fun every week

I feel like that's a critical part about staying alive on the day to day. Your life doesn't have to be filled with every day excitement like you're living a wealthy influencer lifestyle in order for you to carve out a bit of happiness for yourself

Like I said, it can be something small. Maybe it's DND games, maybe it's seeing the new episode of a show you like air, maybe once a week you let yourself order a pizza or eat out, maybe you and some friends get together to a watch a movie. Could even be that you just set aside a few hours where you can do something you like, literally anything as long as it brings you some enjoyment. Just a bit of time when you don't have to be productive and working and worrying about everything

I know the idea of doing something just for yourself can feel selfish, like you're wasting precious time. Especially with everything that's going on in the world, it can make you feel guilty for letting yourself find joy when some many others are suffering and in danger

Take it from someone who spent the latter half of their schooling dealing with dysthymia, self harm, and constant panic and anxiety attacks. Feeling nothing but misery 24/7/365 will help nothing. Depriving yourself of any positive emotion day in and out will fix nothing. All it will do is land you in either the grave or a mental hospital, and you certainly won't be able to help anyone from either of those places

If you want to help others, you'll have to be able to support yourself first. And that means not letting the stress of being alive build up to the point of crushing you under its weight. Take an hour or two every few days to let yourself truly breathe and relax. Think of it as fortifying your self for what's to come. You'll need some way to maintain your strength through the storm if you ever want to see the other side of it I'm not saying to ignore the bad parts of life, just don't ignore the good parts either. Even if you have to make those good parts with your own hands Eventually, the world will get better. But that will take time, so you will need to work to ensure you are around long enough to see it

This week, I'm looking forward to the new Dandadan episode, and going to get my new dog his name tag This month, I'm looking forward to making Thanksgiving dinner and getting to have some turkey and pumpkin pie Next year, I'm looking forward to starting a project that I've been thinking about for months

What is something you are looking forward to?

you don't gotta tell me it if you don't want to, just make sure you have one