#a lot of this interaction was vague and like

[that-dreaming-dragon]

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

Draconic Alterhuman is my basic "summary" term to use. I also am a myth type, otherkind, fictionfolk (otherhearted, flicker, and othervague), anymic, folcintera, archetroper, otherlinker.

Niche term that is more just identity instead of a whole category subgroup I utilizes are kardiatype, paratype, othervague.

Our plurality is bit more on the alterhuman side of things, so that gets put under here.

edit: can't believe I keep forgetting nonhuman. Or I can. Human don't say human as part of their identity terms, so I think that's only natural I don't say I'm part of the nonhuman group, I just am nonhuman, and happen to be under that category.

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any) Is it okay if I just copy paste my profile descriptor?

dae-median quoiSinglet with two daemons (Anymic) Shapeshifter Dream Dragon otherkind & folcintera Uzumaki Naruto otherhearted Japanese pacific ocean dragon kardiatype three-tailed enfield para-heartlink Aurelion Sol (collective) vaguetype Mew Paraarchetrope Bond Thread Weaver Archetrope Ninja Archetrope Flammie vague-flicker

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

I'm nearly permashifted, so I think phantom is my most common one. I have a lot of cameo dream shift, and I don't really know how to say if they are strange, but they are wild. I tend to never had the same sort of dream shift, human or otherwise. I'm not the same human, I'm not the same creature, hell, I get to be all sorts of dragon that has nothing in common with myself. It gets crazy.

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

Vibin' and chillin'. Largely just via interacting and talking with other in the community, make noises at partner and occasionally talks about my experience with them.

5/ What do you think of the community? It's got its ups and downs, good and bad, like any community really. I do love our community, but I'm also aware I'm selective in where I spend my time. I wish we could be more aligned and unified, but that's unlikely. We are all simply too different. The single thread of commonality of not experiencing "typical" or "standard" human identity is but one thread.

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity? Acceptance, acknowledgment, and engagement.

I can wear gear, have art, play games, or watch shows that resonate with me, but they are for comfort and resonance. Having safe people and places where I can not only be myself, but be accepted as myself, and others engaging with me with this acknowledgement gives me the most euphoria.

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria? Not all the time, but yes I had experienced species specific dysphoria.

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened? Research, read, and reach out.

Don't hole up in the first subcommunity you find, and try not to treat any trauma you received as the end-all-be-all for how your future alterhuman community experience will be like. Branch out, LEARN. The alterhuman community has a lot of folks who are queer, who are neurodivergent, disabled, or had dealt with trauma, possibly like you and me. That means there will be lots of clashing intentionally or unintentionally. Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself, alterhumanity is about self-exploration, which can translate to self-reflection.

I had to use the word, but study. Please don't add to the misinformation by regurgitating the piecemeal information you got right away. Chew on them, and learn the different types of alterhumanity. And by the love of all that's rainbow and sunshine, please know the basis of alterhumanity is that it includes a wide variety of identities--it includes nonhuman AND human, it includes identify-as and identify-with and MORE. Also therian is NOT just earthen animal, it is about feeling like an animal, being an animal, and having animality, so yes you can call yourself a therian dragon or therian human if it feels right. Don't treat anyone from your canon or source as 1-to-1 as what's on screen/text/book/game/whatever format. Dragons are more than "typical european/western dragon". Not all concepts originate from alterhuman spaces, reincarnation is definitely not from alterhuman.

Always remember, that it is your identity, and nobody can tell you your experience is wrong. You can do whatever you want with your identity forever! This also is specific about your species or type of identity, and labels (nobody can tell you if you fit under a label or not). BUT this is not about the label's definition so please, please don't go changing a label's known definition.

Nothing is ever black and white, everything has nuance. This will be very hard. But please, stop, read through everything, and then think.

Still, have fun, enjoy your discovery journey, remember that you are not alone, there's a whole community alongside you. Watch out for discourse, keep your eyes open but minds even more open. Make friends, follow the flow. Good luck!

9/ Do you have/want to have gears? I have a pair of tiny wings, a smol tail, number of pins, part of my wardrobe is my color. I would really like to one day have a full quadsuit though, or at least a head piece, or horns. Do you know how hard it is to find straight-back horns that aren't "devil" "demon" and dragon horns that aren't curled curved spiral or spiked? I still want to get Assassin's Creed tailcoat jacket, and a Uzushio forehead protector (which I cannot find anywhere TAT)

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate) The origin of our kinity is too complex, but I think part of it is the influence of our kardiatype, thus we are a dragon. You can say it is past life origin, but we really hate that. Our kintype is NOT based in past life, so like a "soul is dragon" thing, but also not quite. We aren't physical, biologically animal, more monsters, energy being? So we are inhibiting this body.

Ironically in a way, the hearttype Naruto is in fact a past life, or it feels like it.

Number of our linktype are quoiluntary in nature, one is due to paratype feeling, the other is social origin, where we wanted to be with others and to make a sort of gag 'type (which turned pretty serious).

The ninja archetrope is likely past lives business. Mew is paratype archetrope. The Bond Weaver we are uncertain where the origin lays.

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈ @dinocanid @talon-dragonbeast @nimdreams @liondrakes @casserole01 @karak9 @byte-count @unearthlygamer May I interest yall in this?

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[kradogsrats]

How Does Your Garden Grow: Terry's s4-s7 Slow-Build Arc

So, Terry. A character who could be objectively called the goodest among the main cast. We've been waiting through four seasons to really figure him out... or I have, at least. Maybe everyone else got him from the start.

Anyway, Terry's arc is a very slow burn that only comes becomes clear in s7, because it's revealed primarily through two sequences of scenes that echo each other—the first in s4, and the second when s7 finally comes back to tuck that s4 sequence into bed and kiss it gently on the forehead. This means that in order to really grasp how Terry develops, we need to examine and compare those sequences, both to each other and in the context of what we see of Terry in the intervening time.

God's Most Plant-Based Clown...

Fun fact: Aaron Ehasz apparently named Terry as his favorite character at SDCC 2019, during the s3 hype tour [citation vague]. He probably didn't expect that it would take another two and a half years of real time for us to actually meet Terry, but them's the breaks.

We don't really know a lot about Terry for the first few episodes of s4, where he's suddenly thrown in as a new main character alongside all the ones we had already known and loved for years. We can see he's a little anxious and awkward, but he lights up with confidence in his dynamic with Claudia to the point that he'll discuss the smell of his own farts in front of her dad. He has an incredible amount of compassion for Viren, repeatedly offering up deep emotional vulnerability even though Viren radiates nothing but aloof dislike for him. He seems to have no problem with Claudia's dark magic, such as the pufferbat breathing spell, even when the credits go out of their way to remind the audience that hey, those pufferbats had families, too.

He's obviously good for Claudia, which (as intended) immediately makes us turn around and question whether Claudia is good for him. He is, after all, an elf, and she's a dark mage. She has already done, by her own admission, things she "never imagined [she] would be able to do"—and this from the girl who once killed a baby deer with her bare hands. Does Terry not know about these deeds? Is she using him? Is he secretly a nihilistic sadist beneath his perky, easygoing exterior?

He's just a mystery wrapped in an enigma rolled up around a chewy marshmallow center, then dipped in crushed-up pretzels (since nuts are an allergy risk).

However Dangerous

But Terry does reach what we can clearly see is a crossroads of development fairly early in s4, when he kills Ibis to protect Claudia. This is a Big Deal—he immediately breaks down crying, to the point that despite being injured, Claudia prioritizes comforting him. Later, he's unable to sleep, instead crying over both Ibis and himself... or rather, what he had no choice but to do.

Viren, perhaps seeing a tiny sliver of his teenage self in Terry, offers him some advice regarding how to make peace with doing what you have to for those you love:

VIREN: But there is an aching pain mixed with love that you feel in these moments. In the name of love, you may perform acts so unforgivable... you will never forgive yourself. TERRY: Please, how do I live with this? How do I deal with these feelings? VIREN: I will tell you how. TERRY: Yes! Please, I need to know.

Of course, he's still Viren. Fatherly advice isn't exactly his strong suit. He also technically hasn't had a full night's sleep in two years.

Now, the writers could have left it at that. It's a good scene. It's a good character interaction. It sets up like 90% of Viren's remaining arc—as the first appearances of both "I had no choice" and "however dangerous, however vile"—and a not insignificant part of the entirety of arc 2, itself.

But they don't, and that's where it really becomes about Terry, because the next time he and Viren are hanging out (in s4e7, titled "Beneath the Surface" in an example of having zero chill), he brings it up again. He respectfully tells Viren that he's given it a lot of thought, and what Viren proposed isn't what he wants to do. He doesn't even say Viren is wrong, just that it isn't right for him:

I think what you're trying to say is... Is that I should stop having feelings. Well, I'm not going to do that. No way, I-I'm gonna be strong enough to do whatever I need to do and have feelings.

This is, in a way, Terry affirming his true heart—he's not going to give that up, even if letting go of the compassion that made killing so devastating to him (and probably narrowing his understanding of who and what is worthy of it) would make things easier. He's going to be strong enough to not have to do that.

It's not a coincidence that the very next scene for them includes Terry coming out, because both are about Terry's chosen identity.

This isn't only about Terry being trans—what he's saying here is essentially, "I know who I am, and I am who I choose to be. I won't change for your or anyone else's approval."

Viren's response, which I previously always found kind of baffling, is actually perfect:

Like, as responses to someone coming out... it's not awful, and it definitely sounds like something Viren would say. But just like Terry is affirming more than just his trans identity, what Viren is actually doing here is acknowledging the strength in who Terry has chosen to be—someone who is (I remind you) strong enough to "have all the feelings." Someone who can both act on his love for individuals he's close to, and retain his deep compassion for everyone else. Viren isn't going to try to change him, or convince him that he'll be happier another way—both because he's very, very tired and has no investment in Terry being one way versus another, and because I genuinely think some very small part of him is like, "god, I wish that were me."

Of course, what's being ignored here is whether what Terry wants to be is even possible.

... Fighting His Vegan-est Battles

So about that. As s4 winds down and we progress through s5, we obviously see a lot more of Terry, and we get a much better grip on exactly what his deal is in the dynamic between him and Claudia and dark magic:

This scene shows us several things. First, the compassion of Terry's true heart: he feels for Rayla's grief, despite the fact that she was, by all appearances, 100% prepared to cut his throat a full... ten seconds ago. Second, that Terry is at least superficially okay with Claudia's dark magic because he believes in her reasons: the only times he calls her out on her actions are when he feels they don't have her love for her father driving them—namely her tormenting Rayla and later the water dragon. And third, that Terry actually disconnects himself from Claudia's choices at the most basic level: he doesn't suggest she go back and correct her behavior, though he's presumably glad that she does. He's very much a bystander to all of her actions.

Like, he very obviously loves Claudia. We see this in his quiet, consistent care for her—anticipating her needs, focusing on her wellness when she disregards it, calming her down and/or cheering her up, even just carrying her shit around. (Like, her staffs! Both of them!) For him, it's entirely about her as a person, and a person who is fundamentally good, as all people are. She's a girl so full of love that she'd tear herself apart for it, if Terry wasn't there to pick up the pieces. He spends all of s5 making sure she doesn't have some kind of exhaustion-driven breakdown.

Then we hit s6, which is a series of crucial turning points for Claudia, that Terry... also unconditionally supports her through.

Which would be beautiful, except that Claudia's turning points tend to include thing like straight-up murdering what was, if not a child, then at least the equivalent of the family's weird but beloved dog.

Now, I don't think chewing her out over that would have been the right (or productive) thing to do. Really Terry handles her breakdown in probably the best way possible, all things considered. But after that, he treats her questioning everything she's ever believed with a degree of passivity that like... I guess would be good for a therapist, but not necessarily someone you love and have watched hurt themself with their own choices for two years straight.

CLAUDIA: Please, Terry. Tell me what to do. TERRY: Claudia, I can't. Only you can see your own deep truth. Only you can decide the path you're going to walk. You won't be alone. I'll clear out the thorny brambles if I see them, I'll hold your hand as we trudge through wet, mucky leaves. But... you have to choose the way.

Again, he's not strictly wrong, and it's a beautiful sentiment... but he offers no input whatsoever when she's weighing things like "When my dad left, I thought he lost his mind" versus "He seemed so strangely hopeful. So certain." He has no problem claiming Viren obviously found peace in s7, so it's not that he doesn't have an opinion. He just seems to not want to influence her on principle.

Maybe that's because he knows Claudia is so easily influenced and pins her identity entirely to external things or people, and he doesn't want to be another one of those. Which is valid. However, taking this position (or lack thereof) also conveniently absolves him of any responsibility for the choices she subsequently makes—they're her choices, after all. If she winds up hurting people, it's not like he could have stopped her. He'll hold her hand, as if doing so leaves no blood on his own.

This is something that starts to change at the end of s6 and into s7, mostly because suddenly Terry isn't the only influence on Claudia—if he wants her to be making her own choices in a vacuum, he has to balance out Aaravos, who has zero qualms about manipulating her when she's extremely vulnerable. Terry gets a bit more assertive to combat that manipulation, especially when Aaravos is being extremely obvious about it...

But really, by then it's too late.

However Vile

Finally, in s7, we reach the denouement of everything that has subtly been building around Terry. We find out that he has a true heart, a feature everyone is born with but most eventually lose:

More on that, and Ezran, in my eventual true heart meta.

Aaravos then sets Terry up in a very specific way—he sends Terry to find two feathers from a shimmercrow, one large and one very small. Terry happily complies, relieved that the request wasn't something "weird or creepy." However, as always with Aaravos, the task is half straightforward and half a manipulation. He uses the large shimmercrow feather to give the half-completed primal stone flight for its journey around the world, but the small feather...

Aaravos has Terry bring him to where the feathers were found, where he knows there will be both an adult crow and chicks. He brutally murders the mother crow in front of Terry, while calmly explaining how they will use her dying fear and pain to open the In-Between. It's only a key. A tool.

In the ensuing confrontation, he also drives home to Terry that a) it's too late to easily sway Claudia away from him, and b) it doesn't matter, because Claudia is also like this. Claudia uses him. Claudia tells him half-truths, ostensibly to "protect" him, but really to protect herself from him deciding to leave her.

Aaravos has a definite agenda here—he needs Terry's influence, the influence that makes Claudia question whether it's right to hide things from him, removed from her. Either Terry's true heart has to go, or he does. It's time for him to, shall we say... "get a grip":

The true heart is a gift of childhood. For a few wonder-filled years, we each have innocent eyes to experience the world's beauty in a simple way. I have seen generations of humans and elves accept the darkness that lurks in all of us beside the light. There is no black or white, only shades of gray. We must all carry complexity. But please believe me that there is beauty in this burden. Your heart will be a little heavier. But now, there will be no more half-truths, Terrestrius.

Just like in s4, it has been suggested to Terry that he let go of the identity he has chosen. The identity where he's committed to having all the feelings—crying for Ibis, pitying Rayla, mourning Sir Sparklepuff. Doing "what must be done" is positioned as now being incompatible with who he is.

And again, Terry is not going to give up who he is:

Not for anyone. He knows where the lines he has drawn are, and he won't move them just because it's Claudia who has crossed them.

So Terry leaves—but there's one thing that Aaravos has done that goes unstated, and while it's maybe not a major factor (compared to all the other major factors) in Terry leaving, it is the critical factor in his growth:

He has made Terry complicit. Without Terry, Aaravos would not have found and killed the mother bird... and he has been complicit all along. He couldn't stop Aaravos this time, but how many similar tragedies could he have stopped when it was just him and Claudia?

And so here, for the first time, he goes back to make things right. He didn't go back for Ibis, or for Rayla, or anyone else Claudia hurt in the name of love, or who he, also in the name of love, allowed her to hurt. But he goes back for the baby shimmercrows, to comfort and care for them now that their mother is gone, and he goes back to people who (rightfully) consider him an enemy, to help them stop Aaravos.

Just to make sure we really get it, they even have him say it out loud:

Should Bloom a Week or Two Early

Anyway, I think they did something really beautiful and complex with Terry, in that there's no question he loves Claudia—they took three entire seasons to show us how much he loves her, at her highest and lowest points, selflessly and unconditionally. With Callum and Rayla slowly easing back into their peak perfect romance during the same period, his love for Claudia is also not treated as less real or important. We all knew it was probably more than a little doomed, but he's not foolish or wrong to love her.

He doesn't even stop loving her, or decide she's no longer good enough for him to love. He leaves because in order to keep loving her, he has to also love himself. He won't change who he is to stay with her, because he's fought too hard to become that person. With Callum willing to give up everything he is for Rayla at a moment's notice—something that really works only because Rayla would never ask him to, and in fact is staunchly against it—Terry having a solid identity and refusing to compromise it is a reflecting alternate perspective on love.

He's also the most emotionally mature and objectively good person in the cast, but ultimately his arc shows that neither of those exempt him from doing harm passively or even actively—and growth, from that point, is acknowledging that harm and working to heal it. In a story where most of the beloved characters have done wildly questionable things or are defined by their maladaptive coping mechanisms for deep personal trauma, Terry being so generally stable and (all things considered) normal, but still able to develop and grow is actually pretty special.

And, of course, now that he's grown... he's ready for a road trip even wackier than "my girlfriend and I hauling around her dad's formerly-dead body on our way to break a fallen god out of prison."

[velvetvexations]

i feel like the sentiment of ‘human shields’ or ‘you should be able to use slurs (“theyfab” the one im thinking of) against a group that (you perceive as) your oppressors’ comes from like. a flow chart way of thinkin

it really isn’t math. certain women (as broad and vague as the group can be defined) absolutely have power over certain men sometimes. race is one of the main ones, but like, off the top of my head there’s also age, disability, and certain authority or workplace positions. i would even include as small as a community as like, a gathering of friends to whom ive just invited a new person. the new person is statistically gonna be shyer or more prone to being pushed out. of course there are always a million modifiers, a million past and future happenings that shape someone and may or may not add to their “power meter” (if such a thing is real and operates like a meter) but being any specific identity is not going to be the sole driving factor of all interactions, especially in micro communities with their own standards.

i guess what im trying to say is that the claim that one is oppressed in every situation due to their identity and therefore any bullying towards others of one identity just counts as ‘pushing the needle’ is disingenuous. it is much more comfortable to feel like the ‘beaten down person who is just lashing out against their attackers’ without realizing that those attacks do hurt because some of those people may in fact be just as powerless as you (not you, velvet!! example you)

Flowchart anon: forgor to mention, or course own identity can be impactful and everyone knows better than a stranger how they’ve been affected by their identity, but also I think it’s possible to harness power even when you don’t know it, or unfortunately don’t approach people that way

it's wild too because the slurs get explained away as being like Black people saying cracker and a White person telling a non-binary person of color you should get to call them slurs because they're like White people to them is wild on it's own but like

have you

EVER

seen a Black person go to the fucking mat on a daily basis for 'cracker' like TRFs do th**yfab?

Yes, obviously, Black people have regularly argued with disingenuous idiots about it all the time. But have you ever seen Black activists, out doing serious, important work, fiercely argue every single day against a massive horde of White people telling them not to? I'm not even saying that a Black person can necessarily say the word cracker without ten White people popping off in the replies. But how often do they get replied to? And how much of those White people are trying to get through that it sincerely hurts them, and not just claiming it's rhetorically hypocritical?

Because from the TRF perspective it feels like "no but we should get to use this insulting word for other people and if not you're literally killing us!" is like, the major discussion to be having! I've talked a lot before about how even I, someone massively triggered by things outside of intercommunity stuff, somehow manage to bring those issues up more than TRFs do with their incessant focus on the perceived transmisogyny of other trans people, but good Lord. Even if it WERE okay and justified, it's so obvious they care about their sacred right to be aggressive towards other people over literally anything that will ever actually help a single trans woman.

They're exploiting the concept of "punching up" to be mindlessly cruel to another group of marginalized people. And frankly that should be insulting on it's own. Even if you did buy into the explanation that the word was coined by trans women mad about some non-binary people scabbing for Wymyn's Warped Tour,* they're seriously saying that's the equivalent of centuries of enslavement and violent terror? Like yeah, God, remember that time some th**fabs got to watch a bunch of cis women play acoustic guitar while reciting bad poetry and I didn't? That was exactly like a burning cross in the yard warning me to not vote.

*AND IT FUCKING WASN'T

[khaire-traveler]

Hey, y'all, reminder that harassing people, no matter how much you dislike them, is never ok. Online harassment can look like but is not limited to:

Sending hateful, personally targeted anonymous messages, including from multiple accounts

Sending hateful, personally targeted comments, including from multiple accounts

Name-calling and purposeful embarrassment of the other person

Making frequent "vague-posts" about the person

Intentionally spreading falsehoods or damaging rumors about someone, both with and without their knowledge

Encouraging others to send hateful messages and comments to someone

Keeping tabs on someone's personal life and/or online account; digital stalking

Continuing to view their account frequently, despite being blocked by them

Not all harassment may seem like harassment in the moment. Pause, and ask yourself these questions before sending an ask or taking an action:

Is your message "calling someone out"? Is it on the topic of a personal matter or perceived wrongdoing?

Are you sending your message in "defense" of another person? If so, why do you feel called to do so? What good do you hope will come from your message?

What tone are you trying to convey with your message? Is your wording harsh or vulgar? Do you use a lot of accusatory statements?

Are you hate-following this person? Do you absolutely need to interact with them and their content, or would blocking them be a viable option instead?

How often do you speak about this person? Is it excessive? Are they your only topic of conversation with some people?

If you're intending to make a "call-out" post, what positive impact would making a "call-out" post have? What are you hoping to achieve with this post? Are any of your points rooted in personal feelings towards this person, or is all of your information objective? What would happen if you chose to wait before making this post?

How would you feel if someone sent you the same message, especially anonymously? Would it encourage personal growth or simply tear you down? Would you appreciate someone bringing this issue to your attention in such a way?

Please, please, please, just be kind to each other. Online harassment can traumatize a person, and ruin someone's life. Remember that there is a living person behind the screen.

[greco-roman-jewess]

For 2 in her social contract video she talks about The Sexual Contract an old feminist book written by a transphobe and fails to realize that the transphobia is a consequence of the author’s philosophy not a contradiction of it. (Zarathustra’s serpent on YouTube has a great video about this called Breadtubes One eye Problem). I think she also has issues considering the context of the people whose work she talks about (unless it’s a pretty uncomplicated “he’s a white man so of course he thinks he’s the center of the universe” but that still flattens a lot of nuance) both when she’s relating things to herself and when she’s just talking about other people’s ideas she has a vague “life is harder if you’re not white” but doesn’t really interact with the more complicated “positive” for lack of a better word (like things from your cultural background not the external things from have your identity be marginalized) cultural influences that the writer might have. (Think for example how different Jewish perspectives on g-d, morality, and the basic purpose of religion are from Christians)

For 3 going through the whole video is like a novel length post by itself (Zarathustra’s Serpent also has a video on the Antisemitism video. I don’t agree with everything he says and he only focuses on the part where she lies to Israeli History for like ten straight minutes but I’d recommend that for the however long it takes me to make that big post)

As an overview

the part where she talks about Leftist antisemitism she basically goes “there are a few antisemitic Leftists like Karl Marx but there are also loads of Jewish Leftists… Like Karl Marx” and completely glosses over the fact that Marx basically wanted us to commit auto genocide well also not really addressing leftist antisemitism today or leftist antisemitism not from Marx

She can’t really seem to grasp the complexity of antisemitism and doesn’t consult very much Jewish philosophy on the subject

Her bit about Israel starts with “people need to criticize the Israeli government” and then without talking about the right way to do that moves onto “well we all agree Jewish people should have a safe place after the Holocaust but did you have to put it theeeere”

It’s simultaneously too broad and too specific it mostly focuses on the years 1920-1948 but doesn’t actually get that detailed about Nazi ideology or the cultural antisemitism of interwar Europe

Islamic antisemitism is not mentioned at all nor is Black Hebrew antisemitism or really Christian suppressionism

I have run out of time I’m Sorry Good Shabbos!

Someday I’ll write a deeply allegorical B-horror movie about a pernicious rot turning people into horrific monsters. And everyone one will laud it as great queer horror cinema completely ignoring my Judaism (and that the experiences portrayed work much better as representations of Jew-hatred) like they do with Kafka and X-men. Then when I make a clarification about my motivations they will call me an evil Zionist and Philosophy Tube will make feature length video on me death if the author and it will get 1k upvotes on the Breadtube subreddit and self righteous lefty assholes will host screenings of my movie “in support of Palestine” where they talk about “reclaiming it” and how I don’t get the point of my own movie.

And I will sit back and laugh at the irony of it all

[wetcatspellcaster]

2024 fic wrapped

I was tagged by @cursedhaglette to do this tag-game, but I found the focus on stats made me a little uncomfortable! (also, no one needs to know how many words I wrote while having multiple breakdowns last year, truly).

But, I didn't want to ignore Mia's tag! so instead, I'm going to take @cinnamontails-ff wrapped tag-game, just bc I sympathise with the logic and I like this set of questions a lot more!

Thank you Cin for coming up with questions that don't focus so much on productivity. And thank you again, Mia, for including me in the original game :) hopefully this is an acceptable substitute!

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

I guess, what it feels like to be a 'popular' author - and the answer is, 'both good and bad, in fact, extremely mixed'. Obviously, many parts of it are wonderful: more people interacted with my work in the height of the BG3 fandom than I've ever had before, I felt like my writing mattered and I enjoyed every conversation I had about it. I also felt under a lot more scrutiny, very hyperaware of how I acted in 'public' (ie. on this blog), and aware of the people I'd disappoint with the directions I took my stories and what I chose to include. I also had to watch the baffling half-life of modern fandom! BG3's 6 month peak and 1yr trough was wild to me, as someone who joined dragon age 8yrs after the game was released. But I've decided I actually really like the middle-road of interaction, with much less noise and dedicated, recurring readers who I recognise and who make me smile and laugh every single time they comment or tag my work. I'll probably never experience whatever the fuck Pieces was ever again, and I'm honestly... ok with that, currently? Not to sound awful, but I'm not sure I liked it lmao.

In terms of my writing, my biggest learning point was "you're good at this, actually". Chanting this to myself in the mirror while I white-knuckle the sink.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I'm genuinely not certain. Pieces was certainly my most ambitious story yet, but a lot of the outlining of that took place in 2023 so it feels like the development happened then... though I suppose landing the dismount was something I worked very hard to do. I guess the main development this year was that a lot of what I wrote was extremely, extremely angsty. I wrote Pieces, I wrote This Is Not A Love Story. and I gave Rosalie to Orin :))))) this doesn't necessarily surprise me, given the way my writing often reflects things I'm dealing with in my life, and I've been trying to both recover from - and desparately stave off a relapse into - depression. I think that I can see why I keep making characters into the worst versions of themselves (this goes for Astarion, Rosalie - bc Pieces Rosalie is NOT in a good place, Gale and my Durge) and then watching them claw their way back to happiness in the hope of proving to myself that that's possible.

But jfc, it all got a little heavy. I've decided that 2025 is the Year of the Rom Com™.

Good writing habits?

Committing myself exclusively to what I want to read and sticking to my guns - which means I actually finish the thing, rather than getting into my own head about it.

Stretching my comfort zone a little (writing something vaguely smutty, writing something very different in style, switching genres for a bit) without losing my own voice.

Not falling into any jealousy/existential crises about my own writing, which I guess is much easier when you're experiencing a bout of 'success', but I've managed to keep it up even after the success began tailing off :)

I wrote a lot of words last year. I'm not putting the stat down but god. It was a lot.

Bad writing habits?

Overwriting everything. Everything. All the time. Party Favours was so short!!! I used to write novellas!!! Why are my chapters so fucking long now?????

Having multiple fic wips when I promised myself I'd wind down fanfic and start writing original work again :')

I wrote a lot of words last year. I think I did this bc I was extremely unhappy, and productivity is how I define myself. when I feel bad, I write and post bc it makes me feel good. And I felt very bad this year. So anyway, I think my wordcount is both a good thing and also a wee cry for help :'))))

Favorite thing you wrote?

Chapter Twenty-Three of Pieces (Mephistopheles consultation and my Ascended!Astarion meta-reveal)

Chapter Four of Cooler Than Me (putting the blorbos in a formal-wear situation)

I also liked my sex scene in Pieces :') it was tame but it was written for me specifically x

Favorite reads?

for fic!

long summer days can lead to lazy vices by @pouroverpaloma

eyes like fire by demonsbanebard

only once by @bearhugsandshrugs

and of course stitched into your sleeve by the bestie (@violacae)!!! my first ever gift fic!!!

for literature!

The Scholar and the Last Faerie Door by HG Parry

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan

Deeplight by Frances Hardinge

Biggest win?

god. I'm endlessly grateful for my gift fic and for my fanart, but... it's got to be bookbindings. I used to daydream, about somebody ever wanting to have my fic bound, but I thought it was impossible and would never happen! I now know of 3 copies of my work that exist in the world :D and the ones I've seen were fucking gorgeous, like oh my fucking god.

I am also very proud I finished Pieces! It was my most ambitious project, and writing the ending presented even more challenges than I expected - as I discovered how much you write yourself into a corner when you resoul Astarion. I still haven't managed to read the completed work in full yet, but I'm proud it exists :)

Goals for the new year?

finish outstanding wips, and then see where my writing takes me next. I want to write original work, but I also don't want to make it a resolution. As long as I continue to enjoy writing, that's what matters most to me!

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

I think I use '[x character] froze' a lot, but rather than focusing on my repetitions I want to focus on some of my favourite turns of phrase that I managed to pull from the ether! :)

'before her brief courtship with death threatened to become a commitment' - from the risk and the reward

'We can all still be butchered. We cut away the parts of ourselves to make us fit' - from this is a love story.

"He played an androgynous, morally-grey vampire, of indeterminate gender! In a nice coat! Anyone who had two working eyes and a relevant Kinsey Score read the porn, back in the day!” - from cooler than me

What are you excited for in the new year?

act 3 astarion characterisation for honest lie! the first big romance moment in cooler than me! and then just romcoms! 2025 is the year of the romcom! I want to write exclusively happy things!!!!

tagging: @cursedhaglette (as it's a different set of questions lmao), @imscissorbladez, @violacae, @eraserspiral, @scaryanneee, @sitting-in-the-sink, @pricemarshfield, @pouroverpaloma and anyone else who wants to give this a whirl. anyone is welcome, and if you tag me in it I'll share x

[crystallizsch]

so i still have 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓬𝓴 so this is all my energy can draw right now </3 new years jamil…..

ANYWAYS HEY HI HAPPY NEW YEARS 2025 ‼️‼️‼️

sorry again to the new lovelies who just recently found my blog and witnessing all this sappiness LMAO i swear it’ll be back to my usual soon 🫡

(message below the cut 💕💕💕)

OKAY SO— thank you to everyone who had been sticking around either interacting/talking with me or just lurking around or just liking/rb’ing. just knowing everyone’s presence is really nice and it means a lot that my posts can bring this kind of interest.

i may be repeating myself a lot but i intended to use this blog as an escape in the beginning, and i'm honestly so glad i started posting when i did. the last thing i expected was making wonderful new experiences with everyone.

all the kind words and the beautiful gifts mean a lot to me more than anyone can imagine (impostor syndrome can be a bit wild hdbdj). especially reading everyone's personal messages. they have genuinely been getting me through the end of the year. i know ive been sort of vague about it (or idk this became a BIT TMI djdhjd) but y’all unknowingly saved a life.

SO WHEN I SAY WORDS MEAN A LOT. I MEAN THEY REALLY DO. no matter how small or big you think they are. they’ve helped me so much and it really keeps me going. i seriously can’t stop expressing my gratitude enough i’ve met SO many people here i didn’t think i’d become friends with.

ALSO I SEE YOU GUYS WHO ALWAYS FREQUENT IN MY NOTIFS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE 🫵🫵🫵 it legit is so nice seeing the “regulars” whether it’s just the frequent likes or reblogs hdbdjdj it gets me going like. “omg they’re visiting :0”. yall are the little joys i get as well 🫶

anyways i really don't need a response to this, i just. want to throw this out there and let y'all know that i thank you for making me feel like i'm loved and that i'm worth it. and that you all deserve all the love coming your way too 💖💖💖

i am forcibly beaming everyone good vibes this year and i am looking forward to more fun and shenanigans‼️‼️‼️

[thefadecodex]

As briefly explored in Theory of Spirit Complexity, where we examined the nuanced relationship between emotions and spirits, and further expanded upon in Spirit Alchemy: Paths to Purpose, I aim to explore even deeper into the concept of how spirits can "evolve," growing in complexity and purpose over time.

The Spirit Continuum: Wisp → Emotion → Virtue → Ideal

A Framework for Exploring Spirit Complexity in The Fade Codex

This framework provides criteria to distinguish between the increasing complexity of spirits, examining their embodiment of emotion, virtue, and ideal. The transition between these stages isn’t always clear, but this theory aims to outline how spirits evolve and interact across the continuum.

Trying to determine what would be a virtue vs ideal is the most challenging part, so below describes these concepts given how they are being used by The Fade Codex for this theory. 

1. Wisps (Most Primal)

"Flickering, Instinctual, and Unformed."

Definition: Wisps are the simplest and least developed forms of spirits, little more than drifting fragments of emotional energy or undefined intent. They have a lot of potential for growth.

Core Criteria:

Primary Nature: Embody fragmented emotions, fleeting impressions, or vague intent.

Behavior: React instinctively.

Complexity: No self-awareness, no clear intent, and no capacity for reflection.

Examples:

A flicker of joy: A brief sensation of lightness, dissipating as quickly as it appears.

A ripple of fear: A shiver in the air, driven by a primal need to retreat.

How to Identify a Wisp:

Is it 'formless', flickering, and reactive?

Does it lack any clear sense of identity, purpose, or reflection?

Does it behave like a fragment of an emotion rather than a distinct entity?

Key Question: “Is this merely an echo or fragment of an emotional current, without self-awareness or intent?”

2. Emotion-Based Spirits (Simple Spirits)

"Raw, Instinctive, and Reactive."

Definition:Emotion-Based Spirits are primal entities that embody a singular emotional state or feeling. They act instinctively, often lacking deeper self-awareness or long-term purpose.

Core Criteria:

Primary Nature: Embody a raw emotional state or feeling.

Behavior: Reactive and instinctual, driven entirely by their core emotion.

Complexity: Limited self-awareness; they do not question their purpose.

Examples:

Comfort: Seeks to soothe and ease distress, offering immediate relief without addressing long-term causes or consequences.

Curiosity: Driven to explore, discover, and learn without moral alignment.

How to Identify an Emotion-Based Spirit:

Does the spirit operate primarily on a single, raw emotion?

Are its actions instinctive rather than reflective?

Does it lack broader philosophical or moral alignment?

Key Question: “Is the spirit reacting purely based on an emotional state?”

3. Virtue-Based Spirits (Intermediate Spirits)

"Purposeful, Reflective, and Morally Aligned."

Definition:Virtue-Based Spirits represent moral or ethical values derived from emotional roots. They demonstrate intention, reflection, and a clearer sense of purpose.

Core Criteria:

Primary Nature: Embody a virtue or moral principle derived from emotional roots.

Behavior: Purposeful, with clear moral or ethical alignment guiding their actions.

Complexity: Moderate self-awareness; they can question their role and purpose.

Examples:

Valor: Represents courage and strength in the face of fear.

Compassion: Embodies kindness and empathy, actively seeking to alleviate suffering.

Justice: Strives for fairness, equality, and righting wrongs.

How to Identify a Virtue-Based Spirit:

Does the spirit act with a clear moral or ethical purpose?

Is its behavior reflective rather than purely reactive?

Does it demonstrate awareness of consequences and long-term outcomes?

Does it inspire or guide mortals in line with its virtue?

Key Question: “Does the spirit’s behavior demonstrate a guiding principle or moral alignment beyond raw emotional instinct?”

4. Ideal-Based Spirits (Most Complex Spirits)

"Abstract, Self-Aware, and Interconnected."

Definition:Ideal-Based Spirits embody abstract, interconnected systems of values, philosophies, or universal truths. They are highly self-aware, complex entities with far-reaching influence.

Core Criteria:

Primary Nature: Represent abstract ideals or multi-faceted philosophical concepts.

Behavior: Deliberate, with deep reflection and long-term strategic goals.

Complexity: Profound self-awareness and the ability to question or redefine their purpose.

Examples:

Wisdom: Embodies knowledge, reflection, and insight.

Benevolence: Represents compassion, protection, and justice on a grand scale.

Eulogy: Represents reflection, remembrance, and honoring of loss.

How to Identify an Ideal-Based Spirit:

Does the spirit represent an interconnected system of values or abstract philosophy?

Are its actions part of a larger plan or long-term goal?

Does it demonstrate significant self-awareness, questioning, or redefining its role?

Does it inspire widespread cultural or spiritual significance among mortals?

Key Question: “Does the spirit’s nature transcend individual moral actions to embody a larger, interconnected system of meaning or purpose?”

Spirit Evolution Pathways

Exploring the Evolution of Spirits Across the Continuum

Spirits are not static beings; they evolve through interaction, reflection, and transformative experiences. Let’s focus on an example to lock in the understanding of how a spirit might ascend to Wisdom—one of the highest forms of an Ideal-Based Spirit—we can examine the pathways of evolution using emotion, virtue, and ideal as building blocks.

1. Understanding Spirit Fusion and Evolution

The Role of Interconnected Values

To our knowledge, spirits don’t simply “merge” their concepts—they grow by internalizing the lessons of other spirits they interact with or by reflecting on their experiences. Evolution isn’t linear; it’s a network of interconnected relationships between emotions, virtues, and ideals based on what experience the spirit is having.

Emotion-Based Spirits can provide the impulse for growth.

Virtue-Based Spirits provide the moral framework or guiding principles.

Ideal-Based Spirits represent the culmination of these elements into abstract philosophies.

2. Pathway Examples to Wisdom

Summary: “A spirit that learns, explores, and confronts difficult truths may evolve into a Spirit of Wisdom by synthesizing knowledge and insight.”

Summary: “A spirit that accumulates knowledge while maintaining balance between justice and mercy may ascend to Wisdom, acting as a steward of understanding and fairness.”

[itsbenedict]

Games I Played In 2024 And Whether Or Not I Thought They Were Good (Part 3/4)

[1] - [2] - 3 - [4]

More of them! I've been doing these roughly in chronological order so I'm going to have more to say about these ones probably.

Another Crab's Treasure

Haaaaaah. Mixed feelings on this one!

The idea is that it's a Dark Souls game, only, like, vibrant and colorful and ocean-themed. You're a hermit crab who's trying to get his shell back! Cute!

First off: if you get this game, do not get it on the Switch. It is broken on Switch. Like, crashes regularly, freezes up on simple object interactions, drops frames all the time... it's rough. I've seen LPs of people playing the PC version, where it looks and plays much better, so that's probably what you want to do instead. I'm shocked Nintendo let them release it on their store in this state.

And... that kind of colors my perception of the gameplay, too, because it turns out soulslike difficulty gets way more frustrating if you're usually dying to the game freezing up during an enemy attack, or the camera getting stuck where you couldn't see the tell animation, or some other technical issue that completely wasn't your fault. I was fighting the game every step of the way.

That said, I can easily see the version of the game that works, and the gameplay's pretty fun! The various shell powers, the rolling mechanics, and the smart enemy design make it really smooth to play when it's actually running at full FPS. The environment design is also really good, and overall it's very well-executed.

Hated the story, though. What a mess. It's... totally thoughtless doomer nonsense, whose primary message is "capitalism bad!" while completely failing to depict any capitalism and instead having the government be bad. It's all half-formed ideas from people with no model of how the world actually works- just a vague sense of anger at powerlessness and disenfranchisement, directed at incoherent strawmen. The speech where the evil corrupt mayor tells you that laws exist to make it legal for him to kill anyone who defies him is especially eye-rolling- as is the strawman of techno-optimism who shows up as the surprise final boss. Just idiotic stuff.

None of its metaphors even work on its own terms- like the thing where pollution is a nebulous force of corruption caused by greed in the hearts of the crabs who hoard trash, except that the greedy trash hoarders live in the clean colorful heights and the poors with no trash live in the polluted undercity with too much trash. Wait, what? Yeah.

Fun though.

Loop Hero

This one was really cool! It feels like there's some potential it had that it didn't realize, but I enjoyed it as a smaller experience anyway.

The idea is... the world's been destroyed, and you can sort of bring it back by remembering. As you walk along this desolate looped path autobattling enemies in search of a boss, you can put down tiles that change it- biomes that spawn different types of monsters, buildings that give you buffs, and terrain with global effects. As you progress, you unlock more types of tiles, and learn synergies between different types of tiles that create new effects.

There's a lot of these, and they're really cool. Like, put down nine mountains or hills in a square, and bam, you get a tall peak that spawns harpies to fight. Or put forests next to a lightning tower, and get burning forests that, uh, I think lower everyone's HP or something? Place a light source next to a field, and it blooms with flowers, doubling its XP bonus or whatever it is those do.

My problem I think is just that there's not enough of them. Each type of tile has between two and four different kinds of interactions with other tiles, and you don't really get too many elaborate combos. Most types of tiles ignore each other. I kind of wish there'd been a little more depth to these systems, with more surprising interactions with older terrain types as you unlocked new ones. Let me run a river past a spider nest and get diving bell spiders, or put a storm tower next to a vampire castle to spawn frankensteins! The surprise tile synergies were the most exciting part, and there was definitely room to include more of them.

The story had some kind of cool things to say about, like, the weight of creation, passing judgment on the world, deciding what has the right to exist. I don't know that it really explores it fully, but there's something there!

Hades II

Yep, this thing's in early access! And no surprise: it's good as hell. I've wasted far too much time in it.

Gameplay-wise, it's going to be pretty familiar if you've played Hades, but there's a few major changes. The most impactful, I've found, is that you only get one dash. No upgrading it with the mirror or getting more from Hermes- you get one, and then can hold down the button to run slightly faster if you gotta move fast. This makes Melinoe play very differently from Zagreus, who favored getting in close and overwhelming foes with a flurry of blows before zipping back out with dashes when things get hairy. Melinoe needs to stay safe a lot more than Zag does, and relies on her ranged options to do so.

(There's also a few other tweaks- every attack comes with a charged version that costs mana from a mana bar, olympian calls are replaced with "moon blessings", and of course all the weapons are new and take some getting used to- but the dash is the biggest thing.)

The story, this time, is fascinatingly weird. It concerns a war between the gods and the titan Chronos, and... it's not entirely clear if you're on the right side of it. They play up how callous and evil the gods are with respect to mortal life, and have multiple supporting characters who put this concern front and center where Hades 1 kind of sidelined it. But Melinoe is this weird, uptight honor student type of character with a strong sense of propriety and familial loyalty, and kind of doesn't care about that compared to her quest to rescue her family.

It keeps, like... dropping hints that you're not really on the right side, here? Chronos is personally unpleasant and loathsome, but you keep getting little hints that what he's actually doing is an improvement over how the gods were running things. Various character arcs seem to be headed in a "the gods suck and you should stick up for your non-god friends" direction, but...

...I mean, they can't actually do that, can they? Just, structurally! It's a roguelike, meant to be infinitely replayable! Hades 1 had a pretty elegant resolution to that problem, reframing the gameplay as something that can fit without the central conflict, but I can't imagine how Hades 2 could possibly do that. An entire section of the world takes place on a fleet of ghost ships sailing to join the war effort! Even Melinoe failing to grow and just winning seems incompatible with the game continuing. A good chunk of the game doesn't exist without the conflict! I don't see how they can possibly put a bow on all this, and I'm excited to see how they try.

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

My favorite game from my childhood has received an updated rerelease on Switch... and they did it right. You gotta check this out.

I've talked about why TTYD is great before- I think one of the first posts on this blog, waaaaaay back in the day when my posts were bad and you shouldn't go looking for them? But the upshot is: the battle system uses small numbers, and you can figure out exactly what kind of damage you can dish out and take in a given turn, and plan your risk-taking and resource management around it precisely- in a way you can't really do when you've got big damage numbers with RNG ranges of outcomes. All the risk is in the execution of your guards and special moves, which let you attempt harder inputs in exchange for more favorable outcomes, with a chance that you'll fail because you fucked up,

Going back to it after so long... honestly, with fresh eyes, the writing isn't quite as lively as I remember? Like, I remember a big reason I was disappointed by later PM games was that there were no partners, or that the partners didn't really talk or figure into the story. But... honestly, TTYD does have that same problem, outside of the chapters where those characters are introduced. Once someone's In Your Party, their relevance is kind of over, and they all deliver pretty similar filler lines while out. That's something they could maybe improve on in a proper sequel.

Still, the writing generally remains sharp and very funny, and the variety of scenarios it throws at you are great. And the remake adds a few things that really enhance the experience- like new remixes of the battle theme for every chapter, and extra animations for every character, even the random background nobodies. You can hit NPCs with your hammer and they'll play a little "hey, ow!" animation now! Different characters get different dialogue bleep sounds! And they added a warp hub for backtracking, so the General White quest isn't so tedious! And a warp pipe between Creepy Steeple and Twilight Town, to cut out like an hour of pointless backtracking! All the changes they made were really smart.

(Including: putting Vivian's trans stuff back in the script, after it was cut in the original localization. Good on you, Nintendo!)

Pokérogue

I was weak. I held out two months, and then gave in. And I regret everything.

This fucking thing ate multiple months of my life. It's... infuriatingly addictive. It boils the Pokémon experience down to this ultra-tuned flow state, with accelerated levelups and mechanics to streamline the game into a roguelike form factor, and it's so goddamn tight. Every moment of it is setting you up with a thing you can do next, so there's no stopping points- just new goal after new goal after new goal. It totally hijacked my brain until I beat the damn thing into submission, doing absolutely everything it's possible to do in it.

Except "ever voluntarily using Skwovet", because fuck that thing.

Don't play this. It's bad for you.

Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree

Technically not a new game, but the DLC is basically an entire new game, with a map about the size of the base game and its own progression system and story.

I don't have too much to say about the DLC itself! It's More Elden Ring. Miquella's story is cool and tragic, the final boss was a terrifying surprise, and the new environments and enemy designs were sick as hell. If you liked Elden Ring for those things, there's more of it here! 'Nuff said.

What stuck out to me was... I started a new character and a whole fresh playthrough of the game, because I didn't know what the entry point to the DLC was. And while last time, I built a strength-focused warrior with tons of HP, this time I decided to try out a totally different build and play a squishy wizard with ranged attacks. And the game was so different like that! Still balanced, still fun, but completely a different game.

Instead of being about getting in close, staying in close, and sticking around for a long time while finding openings to attack, it became about staying at a safe distance, dodging projectiles, and retaliating with nuke spells to end fights before bosses could get much of a chance to hit me. Some areas that were a huge problem for me before were trivialized by my reusable ranged blasts, and some areas that were no trouble were suddenly a difficulty cliff because there was no way to be effective at range. I'm surprised at how much of a transformation it was! Impressive feat of design.

WEBFISHING

This is a cute little multiplayer fishing game based off Animal Crossing's fishing system. It's a relaxing little second-screen game without too much going on! Not too much to say about it- it does what it sets out to do. Kinda wish they'd tried a little harder for some of the fish "jokes", though- a lot of them are anti-humor about not having a joke for this one. I will retaliate by... not having much of a review for this one.

DEATHLOOP

This thing was fuckin' cool. You're an amnesiac trapped in a time loop- but not just any time loop. The people on this island came here specifically to trap themselves in a time loop, where they could kill each other and live out hedonistic fantasies with no consequences, but something fucked up and now only you and a crazy lady who's trying to kill you are actually experiencing the loop. For everyone else, it's their first day, and they don't take kindly to you trying to break the loop and ruin their fun.

In order to break the loop, you have to kill a bunch of important assholes (called "Visionaries") who've somehow anchored the loop to themselves. But you've got to do it in a single day, and they're scattered all over this huge island- so you've got to come up with a plan. Find ways to manipulate where they'll be at what times, when they'll be vulnerable, and line up that perfect killstreak.

It's fun stuff. Initially, it seems impossible- they're too spread out, too inaccessible, too heavily-defended. But as you work on figuring them out one at a time, you learn lots of little details about gaps in their defenses, ways to fuck with their routines, and traps you can set for them so they'll die without you needing to be present. It's like a mystery game, even though the minute-to-minute gameplay is a pretty standard stealth action shooter.

(Said gameplay's pretty fun on its own- though weirdly, the starting pistol pretty much kills everything in the game in one headshot and has perfect accuracy, so I'm not sure why they bother giving you other guns. I upgraded to Frank's SMG which is basically the same gun but it reloads instantly, and basically never needed to use anything else.)

The story's... a little weird. It tries to focus on the relationship between Colt and Julianna (your also-looping nemesis trying to stop you from breaking the loop), but like... she's not... there, except as an annoying random superboss encounter that sometimes spawns in the middle of you trying to do other shit. She's just a voice over the radio that snarks at you and doesn't have any relationships with any of the other characters.

So like, ultimately you learn a twist about who she was to you before you lost your memory, and she explicates her reasons for wanting to protect the loop, and there's like, some decent character work being done there?

Buuuuuut, in attempting to foreground this character dynamic and make it the main resolution to the game, they kind of forgot to give a satisfying resolution to anything else. Like, these seven people you spend the whole game obsessively stalking and learning everything about so you can efficiently murder them in one go... don't really get a resolution other than being anticlimactically murdered. And there's like no resolution to like, what is the loop and how does it work and why did it get fucked up and what are the stakes here. It's all so meticulously done that I get the impression some writer somewhere answered these questions while plotting it, but they just either didn't put any of it in the game, or I missed something huge.

One negative I will say is: this thing made my old computer overheat like instantly. I had to build a proper gaming PC before I could run this thing- and that was in fact my main motivation for building it, was because I wanted to play this game without my laptop melting. Not really playable on smaller machines, even on minimum settings.

-

One more coming down the line, for the games I played but didn't beat this year, and that should do it!

[1] - [2] - 3 - [4]

[syscest]

other mod system here

we actually find "trauma", however vaguely defined, a pretty useful explanatory tool for features of our system. "these parts of our larger self got pushed down/pulled out/seperated off by this specific negative experience" does a lot for us.

i can't really take that and go start publicly identifying as "traumagenic" tho because like, there's no clear causal link between the trauma and our plurality as a whole and im not really interested in publicly staking a claim to specific trauma. I also don't think a social pressure towards publicly declaring your traumatisation makes for a healthy social environment. (if ur blog says "endos DNI" you are implicitly making me declare my trauma to interact with you and we probably wouldn't get along anyway yaknow)

i have a real generalised frustration with a lot of medical models for plurality because i think they rely on some really shit unexamined assumptions basically. why should i have to claim trauma caused our plurality in order to talk about how trauma and triggers interact with our multiplicity. why do so many people insist plural-making trauma can only happen in a critical pre-identity stage of childhood when it seems pretty obvious that identity development and is a continual process (i had a better sense of self as a 12 year old than as a 16 year old having a straight up identity crisis sorry). there are tools and concepts here i want to explore and find which parts are useful for me, but i have to wade thru so so much bullshit to get there.

anyway my frustrations when i see folks going very hard on "endogenic" as language are basically the same as the above post. you're allowed to reject the false dichotomy altogether rather than just defiantly labelling yourself as the outgroup camp - and I think this would do a lot of good for a lot of folks. maybe you'll realise down the line you actually do have some trauma entangled with your plurality, and if you do I think you deserve the space to explore that freely without having to fully reasses ur identity and what category you fit in lol

i also just think "were you made plural by trauma" is maybe the worst possible shibboleth for trying to identify broad differences within the broader plural communities. "is your dissociation/plurality significantly disruptive to your life or disabling?" cuts closer to a lot of frictions between folks imo. goals around integration vs functional multiplicity. whatever. pick something that doesn't require airing sensitive personal information that not everyone wants to air.

and you know. these things are maybe more important as conscious considerations in your interactions with other systems than as labels - the way I'm not gonna demand every autistic person i talk to describe their exact level of support needs but i try to be conscious of there existing a whole range of experiences out there, some with very different needs or priorities than my own.

hi im assuming the us vs them post is about a specific term, which one would that be?

so the sysmed out-group term being referenced in the joke post was (as the reblogs guessed) "endogenic", and I'll lay our thoughts out straight just once to avoid being potentially taken the wrong way

I've got two angles here, existential theological linguistic bullshit, and harm-reduction. stay with me here because even if you're not on board with the first thing you'll want to see the second.

so "traumagenic vs endogenic" is a false dichotomy, and I don't just mean "there's a secret third thing", I mean both classifications are fundamentally not real.

personally? we haven't the foggiest idea why we're a system. but the thing is, I don't think anybody else does either - I think it's genuinely impossible to know why your own consciousness is behind your own eyes and controlling your own body, why you *experience* existing in first-person at all. Like shit, lots of singlets believe it's because a soul has been created or introduced to their flesh, and a bunch of others think that's a load of crap and the chemicals just *do this* on their own. Singlets get this unalienable right to believe whatever the hell they want about why they're experiencing being themselves all the damn time, and I refuse to believe that systems are uniquely special in a way that singlets are not such that anyone can fucking flawlessly divine the cause of our consciousness all of a sudden. These are existential-tier questions and to deny their impossible complexity and the right to self-belief over them is, in my eyes, to deny systems something many singlets feel is part of what makes them human.

You can believe all sorts of stuff about the nature of your own systemhood just like how you can believe all sorts of stuff about the nature of your own existence - that doesn't make you definitively right, it's just a meaningful mechanism through which you understand your own experiences that other people should respect - it's like any faith, go figure.

Frustratingly, these words - traumagenic, endogenic - they're not talking about belief, they're objective buckets actively being used for exclusion. So every time we use the term "traumagenic systems", in saying "systems that objectively exist because of trauma" we are saying, loudly, "it is possible to know why a system exists". and frankly? no the fuck it isn't.

Anyway that's airy bullshit and reflects very idealised interactions so - practical, realist opinions, and harm reduction:

Saying "I'm pro-endo" is a net good, though I think "I support all systems" is probably marginally better because it doesn't perpetuate categories pushed by sysmeds for exclusionary reasons as being essential to defining systemhood - as we joked about.

Contrastingly, self-declaring "traumagenic" or "endogenic" in a bio is a net bad. Saying "I'm a traumagenic system" also says "Hello sysmeds, I believe in your dichotomy and I'm one of the good ones" (great way to get sysmed followers), and that factor doesn't go away if you go on to say that you support all systems - you've already thrown away your opportunity to shield more vulnerable systems from harassment through making who sysmeds need to target more obscure.

In fact, regardless of whether your bio says to sysmeds "I am a target" or "I'm not a target", by saying it explicitly, you're pressuring other, more vulnerable systems to similarly self-declare. It's like cis people putting pronouns in their bio to shield trans people from harassment through obscurity and embarrassment, but in reverse - if you shut up about it, and *just* call yourself a plural system, even if you do believe in their categorisations, you stop the propogation of the self-labelling and exclusionists are forced to make themselves look like idiots because most of their harassment would have to be done at random. It's basically herd immunity - nobody talks, everybody walks.

anyway yeah there's context for future, though honestly the section in plural respect is a lot more succinct lmao

[cinnabeat]

since people mentioned it tho it IS kind of weird how delkiras crest became a sort of deus ex machina or something like that

[the-magpie-archives]

I know Jared Hopworth is supposed to be a terrifying monster with too many limbs and a body that defies any recognisable form one could relate to humanity, but I can never picture him like that. I've never been able to picture this many-limbed monstrosity, but instead something much more subtle.

A man who at a glance could be normal. From a distance. You know how sometimes if you see a large animal your brain tries to make it into a person? Like that. The shape is that of a person, but wait... It's too big, the proportions are... Off.

There's nothing more terrifying than the slow realisation that something unprovable is very, very wrong.

[djevelbl]

I think this is my favorite little thing I've written for this project btw

[shaykai]

Don’t think I’ll ever clean this up/expand upon it, but here’s a little scribble of Vat and (technically) Bane

[dukeofthomas]

Posting my truth

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

tumblr kww fandom was formed seperately from most other social media corners of the fandom. and that leads to silly things like the commonly used name "kww collab" and kenfies vs kenifies. and probably more. cedar if theres any more im forgetting that u know of say them pls

(in response to this confession)