#a lot of the things people say people with adhd and stuff struggle with sometimes apply to me but most don't

[pikachu-deluxe]

literally no idea how i am even supposed to know where i land on the neurodivergent or neurotypical thing when i don't even know myself all that well. like, how am i supposed to answer when people ask me things about how i think. idk it just happens lol is probably not the response people are looking for

[stoutguts]

ADHD/neurodivergent 🧼 (💀🧼 too bc why not/it's my comfort ship and I love them)

(chock full of my own personal HCs and ideas, also mental health stuff/issues/problems heyo)

I am most definitely all for autistic Ghost, but what about ADHD brain/neurodivergent Soap? I've seen few people talk about this or explore it so here we go.

Like, even though Johnny's generally laid back, he still tends to be very hyper or high-strung. Maybe even overwhelming for some people, and is easily excited almost like a puppy (golden retriever Soap my beloved), (Ghost thinking it's literally the cutest thing ever). Bro has either the attention span of a nat or is so hyper-focused on something he forgets to blink.

He has APD (auditory processing disorder),—and will ask you to repeat yourself 15+ times before he finally understands what your saying. This is incredibly frustrating for him, but like Price will lose his shit, because having to repeat himself is like one of his pet peeves lmao. Same thing, with Yuri.

Even Ghost and Gaz get fed up with him on occasion. Though Roach doesn’t give a fuck because they’re just as ADHD as him, and just loves to talk, plus their echolalia helps to sort things out lots of times. Gaz will give him the silent treatment and refuse to talk to him. Usually when Simon finally gets irritated with him it's lead to a fight. But it isn't long before Ghost feels bad and apologizes, and reassures him saying "I know you can't help it". Simon tries to work on learning to be more patient specifically for him. 💕

He does the same things that Simon does to stim, (though particularly pacing and bouncing his leg). But he also likes to chew on everything, whether it’s a pen/pencil, a cap off a water bottle or other plastic drink bottle—(This pisses off Simon in particular, and they’re always scolding him about how he’s gonna end up choking on it. Not to mention, he always leaves the nasty ass, spit-covered things around and forgets to throw them away after he’s done with one. Either leaving Ghost to pick up after him much to his disgust, or forcing Johnny to throw his own shit away, (as he should). If he gets ahold one of those spiky silicone balls from an arcade machine he likes to bite the nibs on it, etc. Simon has even bought him some chewlery because he orally stims so much, to which Soap uses all the time and was overjoyed when Ghost first got it for him. Though his chewlery needs to constantly be replaced because Johnny has unusually strong and sharp teeth. It’s not uncommon for him to completely destroy shit that he gets his paws on. Simon often comparing him to a dog or a teething puppy.

I am also totally for Johnny being just as mentally fucked as Ghost.

He’s the four b's, bisexual, bipolar, bilingual, and a bitch.

Like Simon, Johnny has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for similar or for maybe even the same reasons as Ghost. Not nearly to the same level of severity, but panic attacks and flashbacks do happen on occasion. As with certain things he's easily triggered.

He also struggles with bipolar disorder and/or severe manic depression. His bipolar tendencies making it incredibly difficult to maintain relationships in his youth, among many other things, (his past drug abuse/addiction only making him worse and more unstable). Though these days he’s medicated and for the most part stable, only sometimes going off his meds, (particularly when he relapses or is heavily triggered by something).

No therapist has ever been able to help Soap, though he does see a psychiatrist regularly.

Mostly for anti-psychotics and other prescription refills and the like, but can vent as much as he likes to them. Either that, or Simon doesn't mind lending an ear to listen when he needs it.

Similar to Ghost, Johnny can have very low self-esteem, but can also be of very high self-esteem, (it fluctuates due to his manic depression). And Simon is more than willing to give him reassurance and comfort, but equally doesn't mind knocking him off his high-horse, and/or, taking down his ego a few pegs if need be. (Which isn't so bad, as Johnny just so happens to have a degradation kink). >:3

Johnny is a highly reserved person, (though he’s able to put on a mask/a show for other people and strangers), and pretty stoic (all things considered), due to his traumatic upbringing. He has a very unhealthy habit of bottling up his emotions until he quite literally explodes, though he's trying to get better about that. But he can’t help but genuinely let his guard down, and has LEARNED to let his guard down around Ghost, the 1-4-1, and his sisters (the most important people in his life).

This tidbit has less to do with mental health and rather his personality but I still wanted to include it here so…

Soap is highly perceptive and emotionally intelligent. You can't hide anything from him as he can always tell when someone's lying to him, and he always knows when something's wrong. A true empath. He's also a very good liar himself because of this, but he uses this secret power responsibly, and would never lie to those closest to him and/or his loved ones.

All members of the 1-4-1 having highly specific phobias? Yes please.

As for Johnny…

He is deathly afraid of needles and hospitals (Trypanophobia and Nosocomephobia), because when he was growing up and as a young kid he was quite sickly, and often was in and out of the hospital. He's immunocomprised and gets sicks all the time, most of the time nowadays when he gets sick it's just a small cold, with the occasional illness that may put him out of commission for a bit—Simon always doting over him and making sure he’s okay when he even so much as senses he’s got a runny nose—Johnny finding it incredibly endearing, but when he was a child it was horrible. When he was hospitalized he'd suffer at the hands of doctors and nurses much too often, going through one too many traumatic experiences. Mostly, because of incompetence or just straight up apathy. Getting his IV done is the worst, because he's cursed with almost non-existent and small veins. Oh so jealous, of Ghost's huge and bulging veins. Someone will stick him upwards of 10 times or more, or until his arms are swollen, until they finally get it right usually. Not to mention, Johnny also has Hemophilia, and so he bleeds a lot which only makes it even more distressing. Soap specifically underwent medical and first-aid training, just so he could avoid going to medical himself as much as possible. His medical knowledge and training has happened to pay off lots of times in the field, for himself or for his teammates or squad’s sakes. Despite his aversion, he's not squeamish at all when it comes to mending his own wounds, or others weirdly enough. Even if he's severely injured he refuses to go to medical. Simon used to get really mad at him for this, because of not only his stubbornness, but seemingly his cockiness was what really pissed him off. And they know Johnny’s skills only go so far, and he's immunocomprised and a hemophiliac for crying out loud. Eventually Ghost confronted him about this, and after Soap explained everything it was a lot more understanding and sympathetic. Though it didn’t change the fact that it will borderline harass him if he’s seriously hurt and won’t go help himself, or just straight up force him to go to medical. Johnny always protests but ultimately he gives in, and Simon makes sure to give him emotional support and stay with him when he needs patched up.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, next post will be about my take on Ghost, his mental health, his autism, etc, probably!

[danikamariewrites]

Azriel x adhd!Reader

A/n: As someone with ADHD I struggle with a lot of stuff like my emotions and daily tasks. I like talking about it bc I don’t think it should be taboo and I hate the stigmatism around it that it’s just people being lazy. If your struggling with ADHD or any other mental health problems know you’re not alone ❤️

Warnings: mentions of mental health struggles, some angst

At first Azriel didn’t understand why your mood could be so up and down all the time. Or why you struggled with getting out of bed some days and others you had so much energy you didn’t know what to do with it.

You didn’t like loud noises, being touched unless you wanted too, and some textures overwhelmed your senses causing you to lash out.

You have a hard time communicating your feelings and he does too, which makes you both frustrated when one of you just brushes the other off or is passive aggressive.

Azriel notices you space out sometimes or that when he’s talking to you, you ask him to repeat things because you didn’t hear him. He thinks it’s odd but brushes it off as you just being preoccupied. He also picks up on your fidgeting but never thought anything of it

One day you both snap at each other resulting in the worst fight you’ve ever had

Azriel ends up going to Rhys for advice because he doesn’t want some stupid fight on a random Monday to be the reason you break up

Azriel tells his brother about the issues that have been building up over the last few months and Rhys, who’s been one of your best friends since childhood, tells him you’ve always been that way

He doesn’t go into detail, it’s your story to tell, but he does tell Az about when you were younger and your parents had Madja come give you a few tests. He remembered being a little nervous for you but you were fine. You just needed a little extra help and attention with things because your brain works differently

Azriel instantly feels bad that he didn’t know

“It’s ok Az, she didn’t even tell me until we were teenagers.” Rhys says sympathetically. “Yeah but I’m the one that’s supposed to be there for her, not get angry with her.” Rhys hugs his brother, insisting he stay the night and that time apart will do you both good

The next morning Az comes home to you baking in the kitchen

You had to move around or the thoughts of Azriel not coming home because you were too much of a burden were going to eat you alive

When you see him you try to apologize but he cuts you off asking if you could sit down and talk

“I don’t want to push, but Rhys told me about when you were younger and the testing with Madja.” He says gently

You take a deep breath, trying to blink your tears away

Sometimes it’s hard for you to talk about your ADHD because you hate to seem weak or different

But you’ve held back long enough and if you didn’t tell Azriel soon you knew you would get worse trying to mask it

You tell him everything. how your energy goes up and down, your depression and that it’s worse because you can’t find the energy to do things

You feel useless sometimes because you forget things or because you don’t listen

He hugs you as you cry into his chest, “I just feel so guilty being this way. I’m sorry Az.”

He brushes away your tears, “It’s ok my love. I know I don’t communicate well either. And I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt this way. It must’ve been killing you to keep it in.”

From that point forward Azriel was always there to make things better

Your communication improved and fights or the silent treatment became very rare

You weren’t afraid to tell him if something was bothering you or if you needed extra help or attention from him

Azriel and his shadows could pick up if you were being overstimulated or stressed out, so there were times you didn’t even need to ask

If you were out with the group and became uncomfortable Azriel would take you somewhere quite to help calm your anxiety

He’d wrap his wings around you so it would be dark and quite, helping slow your panicked breathing

“It’s ok baby, take a deep breath.” “That’s it, in and out, don’t rush.” “Here feel my heartbeat, can we try and match it?”

If you didn’t like how your sweater or dress was feeling that day he would be there with a back up or give you his own

“Are you sure Az, I don’t want to take it from you then you’ll be cold.” “Don’t worry about me baby, I just want you to be comfortable. Plus I’m built for the cold, Illyrian remember?”

Whenever you start fidgeting it’s usually if you’re bored or nervous. Azriel always keeps a little fidget toy or a pen on him so you can hold it and focus your energy on that. He knows you hate being thought of as a distraction and you think it’s better to focus on a small thing in your hands rather than swinging your feet or pushing your chair around

You thought him knowing about your ADHD would change how he feels about you or treat you differently. You bring this up to him one night in bed, “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all. You’re still perfect to me, my love. You just need extra help sometimes and it’s ok to ask for help.”

[lace-coffin]

Slasher autism headcanons

Requests are open!

is this just me projecting onto other slashers? Absolutely! It’s like the spider man pointing at eachother meme but it’s just me and slashers both having autism 😌

Tw: slight mentions of meltdowns and self injuring stims

Billy Lenz

*slaps him like the hood of a car* “do you know how much autism you can fit in here?”

Billy struggles with loud noises especially repetitive ones. He often holds the phone far away from his ear when calling the sorority because he can’t stand the call tone. please get him some headphones or ear defenders

Despite this he enjoys making a lot of noise through vocal stimming/echolalia, picking up on words or phrases he hears from you or the others at the sorority. He usually has a record playing to keep him from getting under-stimulated, though this can be a delicate balance because sometimes it helps and sometimes it’s too much and annoys him.

Billy is hyper verbal (this may be more of an adhd thing I’m unsure) he has so many thoughts he needs to voice to the point where it feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t get them out audibly. He does struggle knowing when it’s his turn to talk though so he may accidentally talk over you.

Billy tends to get along with animals better, connecting to them just feels easier and more natural. He loves to hang out with Claude and rub his face against his fur.

Billy often throws and breaks things during meltdowns, doing it in the heat of the moment and regretting it later if it was something he cared about. Please reassure him it’s not his fault and help him clean it up/ fix it when he feels ready to be around people again.

May not be purely and autism thing but affection bites for sure

Bubba sawyer

Bubba stims in a lot of ways. Flapping his hands in excitement and doing little dances. I think She would play with the charms on her bracelet she took from Pam when they don’t feel safe to openly stim, say he’s in public somewhere he’s not familiar with or dealing with victims.

They have a habit of hitting their head with their fists during meltdowns and pacing (as seen in the og movie when she’s upset about the victims breaking in when no one’s home)

Bubba is also hyper empathetic, other peoples emotions have a big effect on them, sometimes making it hard to settle when their family is distraught.

Non verbal- speaking feels unnatural and straining for her, her family have never pushed him to talk since it’s clear it’s uncomfortable so she’s happy to communicate via noises and body language. Communication cards may be helpful for when more complex answers are needed.

Loud noises aren’t really a problem for her since he’s running around with a loud ass chainsaw all day but it can become grating after a long day if they’re overstimulated already, they’ll push through it and get the task done but he’ll need some time alone in his room to recuperate after.

Doesn’t leave the house super often, they’re much comfier to be home around people they know. She does occasionally go shopping with Drayton and their siblings but it’s very taxing on her because of all the stimuli so it’s not super often.

Michael Myers

I think he’d have a very specific pallet, not liking inconsistencies in its foods and preferring to stick to the stuff it knows it likes. he has such a sweet tooth and eats a bunch of candy. It likes the texture differences in different kinds of sweets, jelly is a particularly good one. Mikey eats a lot of grilled cheese to, it’s mum used to make it for him a lot as a kid and it’s a staple safe food for him. He likes his food bland and beige (me to mikey)

Very specific about his clothing, labels are an absolute no go and need to be cut out. He only likes to wear one brand of coveralls because they’re the only ones it feels sits right without making him want to crawl out of his skin. So basically its wardrobe is just a bunch of the same brand coveralls. (Like SpongeBob with his identical wardrobe lol)

Non verbal through choice, mikey can talk but finds it uncomfortable to do so it usually doesn’t. If he really needs to get something across that he can’t then it’ll use sign.

Low empathy, Michael feels empathy for people close to him like his mother or you but not for others. He doesn’t really understand why he should care about people unimportant to him.

It’s part of Michael’s routine for you to go to bed together at the same time, it gets gradually more antsy the longer you stay up over bedtime. Eventually if he deems what you’re doing not worthy of staying up for he’ll just pull you away from it and carry you to bed. It also sleeps in a specific position, he has the whole bed to sleep in but prefers to curl up in the same way he did back at smiths grove, apart from there he didn’t have a choice. If you’re asleep and splayed out Michael would rather sleep on the sofa so he can be in its comfy position. He also probably won’t touch you if your wearing pyjamas with a bad texture, brushed cotton is a no and he won’t be cuddling you unless you’re in a safe textured set.

Doesn’t like eye contact much, he feels more comfortable in looking at peoples face if it’s wearing a mask, it’s less intimate and awkward.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms can go from very clingy to not wanting to be touched very quickly. He adores being attached to you anyway he can, like cuddling you from behind when cooking or wrapping himself around you in bed. Despite this Brahms can get overwhelmed with touch sometimes, the feeling of ‘to much’ buzzing under his skin. If this is the case then he’ll likely need time to himself back in the walls.

Brahms likes everything to be on schedule and to follow the rules. Like we see in the movies he gets upset when his rules are ignored since it throws of his routine and schedule. If you need to do anything extra or take something off the schedule please let him know in advance so he has time to process it.

Low empathy but only for people not super close to him. He understands how he’s expected to react socially to peoples problems/pain and can show it through masking but it’s purely because he thinks it’s what he has to do.

The walls are a safe space for him. His room was the place he felt calmest after what happened with his parents, its decorated to his taste and dimly lit as not to hurt his eyes. His room has everything he needs within close distance so if he’s feeling low on spoons then the fridge is only a few steps away. Plenty of blankets for pressure/burying himself into.

Also we can’t ignore the fact he literally masks with his porcelain doll mask lol

I think Brahms would use too much eye contact as opposed to none, he was taught it was polite in his lessons as a boy and took it slightly to literally. He loves to stare at you affectionately < 3

Asa emory

Special interest in bugs and entomology! I headcanon that he mostly became a professor so he can info dump about his special interests all day to his hearts content. He can get frustrated quickly if he feels he’s not being listened to.

(Ignoring the shitty enclosures in the collector bc I say so) I think proper husbandry would be important to him, he researches for days before he feels comfortable setting up a home for his specimens. If he’s feeling overwhelmed he likes to sit with his bug enclosures, watching over them and rocking himself.

Asa connects to his bugs more, finding them easier to understand , bugs tend to have more readable body language so it’s easier to tell when they want to be left alone without pressing to far. A person may say they’re not upset but are only hiding it to be polite. A tarantula will bare its fangs and let you know when it’s had enough.

Asa is very precise in his traps, planning them thoroughly before assembling, however he can get overwhelmed and upset say if a wire snaps repeatedly or the trap won’t work as it’s supposed to. He can feel himself boiling over and will abruptly stand from him chair, taking himself over to his bug collection to distract himself and hopefully avoid a meltdown.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I sometimes picture stage 2 getting frustrated by the way the body seems to constantly need to move and fidget.

Like Dust and Horror could be yapping on about something killer finds uninteresting and so his mind starts drifting away, pondering other things, only to come back to when one of the others ask him to stop tapping the fingers.

And he wasn’t aware he was tapping the fingers. He doesnt know why he was tapping the fingers.

Is he going to stop? Nah. Their annoyance with him is amusing. (Even if Nightmare were to order him to stop, it’d still be difficult to actually do because the body just does it naturally. Doesn’t matter how many times the boss attempts to punish him for his “annoying, distracting movements.”)

I’d also imagine that Killer’s inability to focus or concentrate, especially when whatever the topic is doesn’t interest him, often tends to earn him a lot of irritation from the others and gets him in a lot of trouble with nightmare—who needs him to be “sharp” all the time, and killer is aware he needs to be attentive to nightmare’s moods, needs, wants.

I’d think he’d have a lot of issues remembering detailed instructions and completing tasks. Nightmare often needs to order him to get him to do something (which killer constantly has to force himself to remember to do and actually try to motivate himself to do), but once killer is hyper focused, any of the others disrupting his focus or distracting him tends to make it harder for him to do it again and he often just rushes through it. Making “stupid mistakes” that often end with him yet again in trouble with the boss or at the other end of someone’s irritation.

Because he struggles to remember long, detailed verbal instructions the others may even simplify instructions for him but it makes him think they are talking down to him, as if he is a child that they think is dumb and can’t be trusted to perform complex tasks or do simple things when asked to.

And also the idea of people thinking he’s annoying because he “talks too much,” when in actuality he is info dumping about his hyperfixations—or as he’d say, “this really cool thing.”

I’d imagine he’s the type to get easily lost in scrolling through social media and neglect doing the things he was supposed to do, which might even result in nightmare taking away his phone and not giving it back until he finds killer’s work satisfactory.

Which not only drives in the idea that killer is a child being punished, he’s also yet again being denied things.

Having his stuff taken from him. His phone is his connection to the outside world, to a sense of time, to his memories of his cats and color, his connection to color.

He places a lot of importance on the phone, it’s his. He even scavenged a lot of money to buy it himself instead of stealing it, color was very proud of him for doing that, he earned it. And yet still, nightmare gets to take it from him? Is it not his?

I don’t know I was thinking about how a lot of people seem to hc that killer has undiagnosed adhd, and I was wondering how that might effect his life and performance under nightmare; even how the symptoms might manifest across his different Stages. Feel free to say how yall think killer might be effected by it.

[autisticgirliesbracket]

What makes Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Mabel-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Mabel in the top right corner, she is dancing. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"wears a different sweater every single day in SUMMER. also she's loud and very silly in situations where it might not be appropriate, says whatever's on her mind, struggles with change, retreats into her sweater and rocks back and forth when she's upset, doesn't always realize how her actions impact others, has high empathy and a hard time saying "no" because she doesn't want other people to be upset, etc etc"

"One of her main story arcs is resistance to change particularly when it comes to her being very attached to her brother. She is very social and friendly but is often "too loud" or generally misses social cues - also tends to spit out random information to people she is talking to. The friends she does make are people who thing her eccentric nature is charming! upon meeting a girl with a lizard and a girl who fashioned herself fork-hands she whispers "ive found my people". She hyperfocuses on things very often! Like the sock puppet episode where she spends days producing a puppet show, or her crush of the week, or a boyband. She if VERY much the "oh she isn't autistic lol, shes just girly" type of gal that people dismiss often because shes social so "she cant POSSIBLY be ND". when she is emotionally overhwelmed she "goes to sweater town" aka sinks into her sweater to remove sensory imput from the outside world. also she has trouble empathasing with people at times especially if it comes into conflict with something shes hyperfixating on and can often have trouble controlling emotional bursts as a result of those conflicts. she also adores being creative, colorful stuff, knitting. i frankly think shes is autistic AND had adhd. i love her to death and i think a lot of her conflicts in the show could be interpreted/understood in a way thats like "oh thats an undiagnosed autistic kid dealing with stuff". her relationship with her brother is also interesting cause i think both of them are autistic and have learned to support/help each other in a way other ppl dont understand"

"She has tendency to obsess over things (such as her crush of the week or her pet pig), and clearly enjoys the sensory stimulation of lots of bright colours and patterns, and strong, sweet flavours. Her social skills also leave a little to be desired, as she's often very forward, quite loud and overly enthusiastic. Mabel is also quite change averse, as well as averse to the idea of having to 'grow up' and act more mature, which becomes a running theme throughout the show, as she tries to hold onto her childhood."

"Constantly wearing sweaters even in summer (literally only ever takes one off on-screen when she's made fun of for wearing it, and even then she ties it around her waist instead of tossing it), immediately bonds with two girls who are weirdos (affectionate dw) who do things like tape forks to their fingers in order to eat popcorn without getting butter on their hands, obsessed w/ bright colors and the 80's aesthetic, loves to make weird noises, I could go on"

"She wears sweaters every day (different ones in different colors, same style). She’s sometimes easily distracted, but tends to hyperfocus on a goal once she has it. When she’s sad or scared she goes to “sweater town” (pulling her head, arms, and knees under her sweater)"

"Knitting is her special interest to the point that she has a different sweater every day. She purposefully makes friends with everyone, ignoring social cues. She stims a lot by doing jazz hands and big movements. When she's very upset, she rocks back and forth and hids in an oversized sweater. She takes promises very seriously and always tries to see the best in people. Last but certainly not least, she has a whole episode dedicated to how "weird" she is with the ultimate conclusion being that unconventional, out of the box thinking is good."

"I know everyone hcs her as ADHD but also LISTEN...she has so much autism to me. She has a special interest in crafting, she tends to let her emotions override logical thinking when she's passionate about something, she just means so much to me as a former weird girl and since I am also autistic, I love projecting <3 Also you know she makes her own sweaters 1) because it's fun but also 2) maybe she struggled to find sweaters that weren't bad texture-wise so she decided to take up sewing/crocheting and made all her own clothes with a special yarn after that."

"i am not autistic but all my autistic friends love her and say she has autistic girl swag"

"it's mabel. all of that family has autism in spades and she is no exception. look at her. look at sweater town. come on" End ID.]

[yuurivoice]

since you love to write, does your job ever feel like actual work? Kinda like that saying “if you love your job, you’ll never work a day of your life.” Kinda question.

also, how much free time do you normally have?

It felt like actual work from pretty early on. The moment I crossed over from doing it for funsies to sometimes taking commissions I didn't really feel strongly about for money, it was work.

I've had to drag my ass into the booth and record on days when I couldn't even take care of my basic needs because of ADHD struggles, and that sure felt like work.

I've had to write like absolute dogshit and just accept it because I had deadlines and people waiting on me. That felt like work.

I've had to spend hours breaking down different shots needed for visual projects, like a caveman painting on a wall for a renaissance artist to reference. That definitely felt like work.

I've had to deal with community moderation, personal betrayals of trust, harassment, goddamn pr crises, tax nightmares, and shipping hundreds of orders by hand. That was work.

That old cliche of if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life is a crock of shit. But all of that being said, even though it is work, and even though it can be really difficult sometimes?

Wouldn't trade it for the world. There is no other calling for me, my heart is not satisfied if I am not telling stories, and for some reason the universe decided that this was the path forward. I didn't plan on it. I never loved voice acting, but I learned to. I wish there was less bullshit over the years that robbed me of my joy. I wish I wasn't fighting my brain for so much of the time I've been doing this.

But the good will always outweigh the bad.

It's a dream fulfilled. I never needed or wanted to be some sort of massive sensation, or have broad renown or appeal. I didn't need to become a best selling author, or create a hit video game, or do anything like that. I am happy that I've found even a small group of people who love to get lost in my worlds, or spend time with my characters, or hear them get railed in pumpkin patches.

I get to experience the magic of creating something I didn't know was within me. Again and again. Projects like BitterSweet, Shattered, and Echoes of Evalas are precious to me because of the wondrous feeling creating those stories gives me. They could all flop, and I'd do it anyway.

I was creating art when no one was ever there to listen or watch. In that regard, it's never been work. It is a function of my existence. I was made, raised, and shaped to tell stories. It's the one thing I can do. At a table of friends, an audience of hundreds, or on long drives by myself. It's like breathing. It just happens.

Being able to call it work is a privilege. I'm thrilled that I've got the chance to work. I'm happy that I even have the opportunity to have days where I have to push myself. Because it has given me more than I've ever thought it could. I was on food stamps living with family under constant threat of getting kicked out. I was lonely, isolated, and scared of the world. I was considered lazy.

Finding my lane, getting traction, and thriving was something I considered out of reach. I was ready to tap out and accept that I just wasn't quite right for life. Like maybe I just didn't have all the right parts. I was okay with it, even. I was tired.

So yeah. It's work. But I spent a long time desperate to find work I was suited for, and with a lot of recent life changes I've removed many of those points of friction that would make it tough to work. So I'm thrilled.

And that, my friends, is what happens when you ask a professional yapper if they love yapping. 😂

As for free time, it's hard to say. So much of what I do being my own boss and shit, plus creative stuff just constantly churning in my brain, I struggle to clearly define what is and is not "free time". I basically have to be on call. At any given moment something might need my attention, or creativity comes knocking. It's hard to completely disconnect.

I've done a good job of getting into the office about four times a week. That has helped me find some sort of balance, but even recent writing I've done was on my laptop at my little breakfast nook having coffee.

I think the big thing is, I can create my free time whenever I need or want to.

Anywho, this is why you don't open Tumblr when you wake up to pee in the middle of the night because then you spent 30 minutes staring at your phone writing a whole ass essay. I'm gonna go get out of bed and make something awesome now. 💖

[ch0cocrave]

Introduction thing

I guess I'll do this so you know what to expect from me...

. I REALLY LOVE BIRDS. ( like a lot, it's not funny/j )

. (Bird)day: May 12

. I'm part of many fandoms so this blog will be all over the place. ( I'll list a couple main ones below )

. Paper puppets take 2 ( dies )

.Objectified

. The Four Moons Initiative

. ANIMATIC BATTLE!!!!!

. Burger brawl ( DIES AGAIN )

. It's time for the-

. Inanimate insanity

. Bfdi/bfb/tpot

. Gob ( I need more stuff from this show but its not popular... T^T )

. Burner

. ONE

. Oso ( also not popular... )

( Other stuff I can't categorize lol )

. Cuphead

. Murder Drones

. Kinda TADC ( but the content farms have me in a death grip... )

. I've seen solar balls stuff and now I'm kinda invested

. and many more that you might see me reblog stuffs from

. I have ADHD ( diagnosed ) so I can be pretty hyper and annoying. ( Don't hesitate to tell me to calm down. )

. And uhhhh yes! I do post art if anyone is wondering lol but I just might kinda forget about it from time to time because uhhhh brain don't work XDD

. And speaking of art, art requests are open, they just might take awhile, because ughhhhhh school is the devil, and my life is kinda busy lol ( i'll tell y'all when they're closed )

. I'm also a MINOR ( 15 yrs old ) so no disgusting stuff please! ( So like no pedos, zoos, or any of that crap:3 )

. Don't take any of the stuff I say seriously because I'm just here to have fun idk

. I also go by Choco so if your referring to me, pls use that name!

. I am a really nice person, ( all my friends have at least said something like that XD ) but I do have really terrible mood swings, so If I seem mad at you, I'm probably just acting up...

. My best IRL frens are @daaxolotlartist and @stikytheblue ( aka ppl ive known for 3 years ) And @craftyworx!!!

ALSO LOOK AT THIS FREAKING KINGFISHER T^T

They the most pretty borb-

. I will probably change this in the future to match with myself more

Some links to certain posts that I think are important :)

And If i just randomly disappear either while I'm texting you or just GONE, this is probably why...

( pspspspspspspspspspsp alsoooo ) ↓

^ help I think that's a threat ;-;/JJ

OH! also- If I leave a discord server, its most likely because I never talk in it and uhhhh talking to people is rlly hard sometimes for me so I just leave to save myself the struggles... TwT

I also tend to use XD a lot lol

That's about it 😁 👍

[xxskyethetiredemoxx]

Intro Post

Name: Skye

Age: 16

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: male

Sexuality: pansexual

Member of @cherry-medicine-hate-group

Hobbies and interests:

Music (I sing and play guitar, and I love listening to music constantly)

Drawing

Writing

Reading (I'm currently reading The Shining, by Stephen King)

Doctor Who (best show in existence)

DIY clothes

Things I want to get into doing:

Filmmaking and media production

Languages (I'm wanting to learn French, Spanish, and Polish, but I'm procrastinating)

Learning new instruments

Bands and artists I like:

My Chemical Romance

Bring Me The Horizon

NOAHFINNCE

Destroy Boys

YUNGBLUD

Evanescence

Palaye Royale

Pierce The Veil

Green Day

Black Flag

Paramore

The Misfits

Against Me!

GHØSTKID

The Used

TX2

Sex Pistols

Citizen Soldier

Icon for Hire

St Terrible

Madina Lake

Slipknot

And a lot of others, but those are some of my favourites

More info (DNI, tags, some things I post about, more info about me) under the cut

DNI: racists, homophobes, transphobes, TERFs, Israel supporters, sexists, anyone who hates other people for their religion or lack thereof, basically any bigots.

This is a pro Palestine blog, and I post fundraisers for Palestinians who need help due to their situations, so if you have money to donate, please check the fundraisers on my page.

DMs and asks are open, I will block anyone who sends weird or hateful messages. I do not send pictures of myself, and will most likely block anyone who asks me for pictures or says anything that makes me uncomfortable.

I sometimes post vents, but I always put tws and tag them in case people don't wanna see them.

My tagging system:

#skye talks about stuff is my generic tag for any original posts or when I add to reblogs

#skye talks about emo shit & #skye is emo af are for emo related stuff

#skye needs therapy & #skye vents are for vent posts

#asks is for asks (obviously)

#i love my mutuals is anything related to my mutuals

#skye talk about politics is for political posts

#skye is gay af is for lgbtq+ posts

#music is life is for anything music related

#skye talks about punk shit is for punk related stuff

#diy is life is for my diy projects

#skye reblogs is for when I reblog posts

#skye does art is for my art

I haven't always had this tagging system, so any posts before (and a lot on) 12th October 2024 don't have this

I live in the UK, but I was born in Spain, and I'm half Polish. I was home schooled until I was 14, when I started my GCSEs.

I have been told by everyone I know that I most likely have ADHD and autism, but I haven't been able to get diagnosed. I struggle a lot with my mental health and trauma.

I have a little sister, she's two years younger than me. She's starting her GCSEs now. I live with her, my parents, and my amazing cat

I'm doing a levels, my subjects are Psychology, Biology, and Criminology. I'm somehow really good at making friends, but I'm also really good at getting people to hate me. And usually it's for no real reason.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm like really emo.

Credit for dividers used @fawndollie

[aroaceleovaldez]

I’m a bit nervous about sending an ask, but the curiosity has won me over, hope this isn’t too many questions

You said you headcannon Leo Valdez as dragon kin so I was wondering, do you think he has shifts often, if at all? If so, does he generally have some types of shifts more often or is it more balanced? And do the other campers and the seven know? If they do, did he tell them or did they piece it together on their own? If he told them, did he have to explain a lot or were they kind of just like “okay” and didn’t question it a lot? Like they just accepted it and didn’t want to overstep or something is what I mean

I think maybe I’m overthinking this, I really hope I’m not asking too many questions or anything

It's no worries at all! Asks/questions are always welcome!

I think his most usual shifts would be teeth/scales, but they're a lot more subtle so he either doesn't notice them as much or can ignore them. Those ones are probably semi-regular for him but again, more subtle most of the time (most of the time... every once in awhile he gets hit with a stronger maw shift and he's just sitting there gnashing his teeth at the air for like an hour cause his mouth feels weird until it goes away). Maybe also horns.

Less common ones for him but ones he'd notice more are probably wings, tail, and talons. Talons i mostly just think would be funny for him cause he has his habit of tapping his fingers as a stim. Him getting tripped up from the phantom talons while trying to stim, being confused for a minute about why his fingers aren't touching the table and he just ends up tapping out morse code into the air a couple inches above his desk instead. Wings and tail would probably just be pretty standard phantom limbs - they're just there and he's aware of them and maybe able to move them a bit. I imagine he'd eventually try to make some 'kin gear to help with those shifts specifically just so his brain stops error 404ing when his dragon limbs pass through solid objects despite his brain thinking they should be able to tangibly interact.

I don't think Leo would know what otherkin/alterhuman is when he first meets the Argo II crew, and probably wouldn't get the opportunity to learn about it for awhile. He doesn't really have the vocabulary to explain how he's feeling - just that he Is A Dragon. The rest of the crew probably also doesn't know what otherkin/alterhuman is either so they don't have an explanation for him, but, yknow, demigod life is already so goddamn weird, if Leo says he's a dragon that's not the most abnormal thing they've heard that week and they'll just take his word for it and accept it. And Jason probably understands the feeling re: being a wolf therian, even though he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain it either, so there's at least some solidarity there.

Earlier on I think Leo would just crack a lot of jokes about being a dragon, not particularly explaining how he feels about it to the others but just kind of putting the concept out there. He might try to explain it if the topic comes up but, as mentioned before, just struggle too much to try and find the words for it (the adhd/dyslexia/autism wording problems do not help there). I do like to think though that, due to their Hades/Pluto kid soul powers, Nico and Hazel would actually be able to pick up on spiritual-origin otherkin/therians/etc if they focused on it - Nico in particular, probably a lot more passively - and be able to kind of see phantom limbs/shifts sometimes (cause goodness knows how souls/spirit stuff works in the Riordanverse and I can have my self-indulgent silly alterhuman worldbuilding hcs if i want to - also at least partially inspired by some journal posts i've read of people mentioning people/animals/automatic doors picking up on their phantom limbs and being able to track the movement and stuff. if any demigod would be able to do that it's gonna be the kids with literal soul/phantom powers). I just find the concept amusing of Leo trying to explain this extremely metaphysical experience and Nico's just off to the side like "Oh yeah no, your soul is a dragon. Like, very literally. Dunno how that happened but good for you. btw why do you have ghost wings sometimes?" And Leo's grateful for someone helping him explain it but also isn't sure how he should react to statement. Eventually though one of the crew stumbles across alterhuman stuff - probably Leo or Annabeth, most likely accidentally through looking into daemonism stuff (you know they both read His Dark Materials) - and they put two and two together and finally have a means to explain it and Leo could not be more relieved (though he still doesn't know how to feel about Nico's soul comments).

I love rotating alterhuman demigods in my brain

[theshowmastertv]

Welcome to the blog!

Hi, Mod here! You can call me Saber, I go by any pronouns. I wanted to make a Vee blog since I enjoy her character and personality Host Blog: @sabertoothking (I don't talk much but follow me 🔥🔥🔥)

(Please note, the host is a minor! Behave yourselves please!)

--- DISCLAIMER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT, NOR CONDONE THE ACTIONS OF BLUSHCRUNCH STUDIO. I SIMPLY WISH TO ENJOY THE GAME AND CHARACTERS IN PEACE!

---

IC text is in Green. OCC text is usually marked as such.

Anyone is welcome to ask, though the amount of time it'll take for me to get to you may vary depending on stuff like my motivation.

--- Vee Headcanons

(A lot of this is just the host self projecting LOL)

-26 years old.

-She/Her, They/Them.

-ADHD/Autism

-Pansexual.

-4'2 feet tall.

-Short tempered and quite blunt, though a lot of the time she doesn't really mean the things she says and it's really just her emotions speaking for her.

-She struggles to understand emotions and social cues, usually leading to her tone coming off differently from how she first intended it.

-She sometimes can be very bothered by the things she's said to people in the past. Though she doesn't want to slow herself to become vulnerable enough to think about it, so she ignores it the best she can.

-She generally prefers to keep to herself, keeping to her own spaces as well.

-There’s a couple of people she'll actively seek out to talk to or hang out with.. Astro, Shelly, Pebble, Sprout,

-She acts the way she does almost as a defensive behavior.. she fears anyone who becomes close to her will only grow to hate her or end up hurting her, so she pushes them away.

-Despite her confidence, she has quite major self esteem issues.

-She doesn't like asking others for help, not wanting to seem weak, and she finds it hard to trust people for that help.

- She has the ability to hijack facility cameras and facility speakers, though she becomes particularly inactive as she does this. The process of hijacking more than one machine can be very exhausting for her.

-Her room is full of quite a lot of technology, including a bunch of monitors to watch the cameras.

-It's a bit of a bad habit for her to be working at her desk until she eventually falls asleep at her desk.

-She's knowledgeable on circuits and such, it's quite easy for her to fix the circuitry to revert Blackouts as long as she's given enough time.

-She is able to use her tail for self defense. Its weight can cause it to hurt quite a bit, and she can also use it to blast loud sounds to scare off any twisteds or tell other toons where she is to call for help.

-Her tail wags when she's excited, goes between her legs when she's afraid, sticks up when she's surprised.. etc.

-Her antennas droop when she's upset or afraid.. perk up when she's surprised or happy, etc.

-She isn't really the most careful person in the world.. because of that, her screen has some cracks on it of various sizes.. while it does in fact slightly affect her vision (larger cracks effect her vision more) she's just simply been too lazy to fix it. (She'd also have to ask for someone to help since she can't really fix it on her own.)

-She has pawpads on her hands, as well as small claws.

-She can display various things on her screen, emoji, emoticons, text, images, etc..

-The microphone on her tail can be detached easily and swapped out for other stuff, it's just she generally keeps the microphone there most of the time.

-She doesn't like anyone touching her (Unless it's someone she trusts.), especially her head and tail considering they're vital parts of her and she doesn't want either of those to be damaged.

-Water and robots don't mix, it can lead to pretty severe malfunctions, and are very painful.

-She’s very.. cat like. Hisses when annoyed/afraid. She also likes to climb on top of things and sit/stand on top of them (She usually sits to avoid falling and hurting herself.

-She's scared of storms. She claims it's because it messes with her systems but she's generally just afraid of them.

-She looks tired near 24/7 (she IS tired more often than not)

-Despite being a robot instead of a living being, she does technically "breathe" in a sense.. So stuff like suffocation and strangulation can actually affect her.

-Vee sometimes absentmindedly mimics the behaviors and actions of others.

-Water and robots don't mix, it can lead to pretty severe malfunctions, and are very painful.

-Vee can swear, but only in binary code. When she says binary out loud it sounds more similar to morse code.

-Vee doesn't really attend many extraction runs anymore due to having several violent confrontations with Twisteds (Vee had tried to fight back against a Twisted instead of running away on several occasions.

-Because of the dangerous confrontations she kept having with Twisteds, and also her being more vulnerable because of her lack of speed and being easy to spot.. she chooses to stay behind on the main floor of Gardenview and try to assist ongoing runs the best she can from the surface.

-Voice Headcanon: Nori Doorman from Murder Drones.

---

Vee Design

(Drawn by the host! You are allowed to use for stuff like profile pictures.. please provide credit, however!)

[fountainpenguin]

i know youve mentioned that the dimmadomes have adhd but are there other characters in your fics that are neurodivergent? :0 if that makes sense

It's not usually mentioned in-story, but here are some that have shown up in my writing:

Humans

- You brought up the Dimmadomes having ADHD/OCD comorbidity. They're some of my favorites just in terms of me developing those headcanons somewhat separately for each one of them... starting with Dale, not Dev, actually. But Dev was a logical conclusion afterwards.

Detail I think is cute: Both Dale and Dev like Sims games because they like building nice, organized things that are under their control (Yes, Dev does have a computer in his bedroom and I imagine he uses it mostly for games). Dev likes cleaning and organizing simulators. Dale played a LOT of Sims during the 50 years of frozen time. I like to think Sims was an awakening for teen Dale in terms of same-sex relationships, but he will never, ever tell you that. Come to think of it, there's no way boy x boy manga-loving Dev is not also exploring same-sex relationships through his Sims world. Like father, like son?

Realizing how funny it would be if Doug had ADHD and OCD and that's why he jumps from one business to another and why his dream in "Mooooving Day" is a suburbia of people dressed in identical outfits living in identical houses in many identical rows still has me on the floor. I'm sorry, I just think my realization of that when I'd already headcanoned both Dale and Dev with ADHD/OCD was extremely funny. Big "Wait a minute" lightbulb moment.

Dale has several interesting things we could talk about, and they're discussed in detail in the character profile I'm posting for him next week. On his list are complex PTSD, hypervigilance, and dissociation. He also has misophonia as part of his OCD (and so does Dev).

- My OC Hadley Harrington also has ADHD/OCD comorbidity. Her big thing is hoarding OCD. I discussed it more in her character profile and we saw it in action in "50 Words of Dev and Hazel," where Dev dug through his mom's stuff to rescue an au pair that had been crushed under her hoard.

In that story, Dale told Dev he was allowed to go to a Christmas party with his peers as long as he brought back some of their wrapping paper so Dale could wrap Hadley's present. She actually likes her presents when they're made of scraps because the recycling helps her feel better than paper being wasted, plus she thinks it looks fun in videos, and Dale knows that. Just a little detail I thought was cute.

- Chloe has mild OCD. She sometimes has anxiety attacks and experiences dissociation.

- Timmy and Mikey Munroe are two other characters who have ADHD in my works and I LOVE playing them as foils for each other, with Timmy being less attentive and Mikey being more hyperactive.

- Mikey also has dyslexia (Heavily implied by canon where he struggles with the spelling bee), which is interesting. I am still obsessed that his crush (Sophie Sanders) seems to have dyscalculia. Boy who struggles with words, girl who struggles with numbers, what crimes will they commit?

- Peppy Happy Betty has severe anxiety. In the original version of "Solo" (which was posted and up for a while), she said Sanderson helped her through her self-harm struggles. I later tweaked it so she says she's been scratching herself as I didn't think the original phrasing fit with the rest of my T-rated content (and I didn't want to catch people off guard with it).

Pink and Gray is supposed to delve into her self-harm, which is part of why I plan to raise its rating when it comes off hiatus (and I'll update the tags accordingly). This is one of the stories that I expected to censor most from its original draft, but since I want to raise its rating for other reasons anyway, I'd like to explore her self-harm arc too. Carefully and with proper tags as mentioned. Betty gets into tattoos later as a way to redirect some of those feelings. I... think she has bat (Anti-Fairy) wings tattooed on her back, but I'll have to double check. Pretty sure it's bat wings.

- I'd also like to write Hazel as autistic- I've seen autistic writers talk about the many things they relate to with her and I like their portrayals.

- I've been waffling over making Kevin Crocker neurodivergent because it feels right to me, but I haven't nailed down exactly what I want to do with him. Open to suggestions, but still doing research and trying to find what feels right :)

Non-Humans

Disclaimer - My non-humans have non-human brains; I'm translating a few things from their in-universe diagnoses for clarity.

- Goldie has Harm OCD. Her species (will o' the wisps) are stereotyped as "damsels force drakes into harems" and she has a lot of paranoia regarding that.

Enter Goldie-Poof dubcon arc where Poof feels awful about expressing his relationship concerns to Goldie, knowing she'll panic about them, so he keeps hiding his feelings. "Watch and Learn" was a story where Poof broke up with Goldie, only to take her back almost immediately.

- Anti-Cosmo has bipolar disorder (hand in hand with mania, depression, dissociation, and hypersexuality). Specifically, he has a parallel of it that applies to his specific species- In-universe, he has multiple diagnoses for his condition.

Anti-Fairies refer to him as "having a lightning spirit in his head" (and those he grew up with used they/them pronouns for Anti-Cosmo in his youth because of this, in accordance with Anti-Fairy culture). Fairies diagnose him as "being a Fairy in an Anti-Fairy's body" since his mood changes are arguably similar to those of a drone without pheromone exposure.

In Fairy terms, Anti-Cosmo has divus displacement disorder, which is treated by rubbing pheromones on his face every day. This is referenced again in the sideblog post I'm putting up tomorrow (about pheromones), but Anti-Cosmo throws off a lot of people because he always smells different due to those pheromones. Fairies consider him to have a shifting identity and don't trust him.

- Anti-Cosmo's mother (Anti-Florensa) and brother (Anti-Robin Jr.) have a magical parallel of schizophrenia. His brother experiences hallucinations of the past while his mother has hallucinations about different future timelines.

Anti-Cosmo had a bad falling out with his brother around the time he figured out who he's a reincarnation of (Frayed Knots), as Anti-Robin's struggle to remember who Anti-Cosmo is in this lifetime (and react to him appropriately) strained their relationship.

In Anti-Fairy culture, they're also considered to have their souls entangled with nature spirits and are referred to as they/them by many people (though their enjoyment of being addressed that way fluctuates).

- Foop has dissociative identity disorder. I don't really have anything more to say about it. Lots of trauma going on there. Definitely some PTSD. And again, as an Anti-Fairy, his culture also diagnoses him as having a nature spirit tangled with his soul.

Unfortunately, Foop doesn't get a lot of the help he needs because Anti-Fairies tend to wave his situation off as a genetic condition rather than something trauma-related, seeing as several members of his family tree are also diagnosed with nature spirit conditions. This actually plays into why Foop connects with Fairy culture in a lot of ways (and why he has a pixie therapist, not an Anti-Fairy one).

- I think Poof has a little PTSD too and/or some anxiety, seeing as he had a panic attack at the end of "All I Ever Wanted" when talking about life with Goldie.

- Two characters of mine (a fairy named Rupert Roebeam and a pixie named Walter Keefe) have dysolfactya, which is a parallel of dyslexia I created for the inability to organize scents in your head (Not exactly the easiest thing to live with in a world that relies on pheromones to keep you from wandering into dangerous areas).

- I... usually refer to Longwood's and Poof's lack of interest in preening as a parallel of asexuality for a world where licking necks and faces is a big deal, but it's kind of interesting to think about. In-universe, they'd probably be diagnosed in some medical or psychological way.

Very pre-DSM update vibes, which absolutely fits the time period I have the cloudlands set in. Something akin to "diagnosed with critically low libido" for sure, but for licking.

- H.P. has OCD (Imo, this is implied by the song he sings in the Musical about how he doesn't hate the Fairies and doesn't want to take over, but can't stop himself from doing so because he "must cater" to his urge to be "the world's administrator," not to mention his insistence on 37-year plans).

He hates untidy notes- There are several scenes where he rewrites his entire note page because he doesn't like marks on his notes (including crossed-out words). He also has issues with lying and his athazagoraphobia (fear of being forgotten), leading to the winning combo of making it explicitly clear when he plans to enact a takeover plan. There's a whole thing about how he has to justify his takeovers in terms of "It's their fault for not stopping me; I warned them I'd do it."

H.P. also experienced zoochosis during his time at the Eros Nest (zoo run by Cupid's family), leading to repetitive behaviors with no clear end goal. That probably affects him even now in a PTSD-adjacent way.

There might be characters I didn't mention - I feel like I'm blanking on something Anti-Marigold experiences - but those are the ones that come to mind for FOP 'fics!

[kaycode1999]

Hello I was wondering if I could have an MHA (and maybe demon slayer but if im asking for too much mha is fine) character matchup if your not too busy. 

I'm straight and use she/her pronouns. I was previously bi but now I'm a straight alley with a friend group as straight as a circle 😑

personality: I'm creative, hyper, ENFP, slytherin, (somewhat) smart, ADHD, nerd, Sarcastic, funny, I'm basically the tall intimidating person that's actually a huge softie, I have a mind dirtier than a dumpster,  my humor is f'd up but hilarious, have different personalities for different people, I hate asking for too much of people, Tomboy,  I hate expressing negative emotions and just suppress them, had sewerslidal thought when I was young due to family stuff (doesn't happen anymore) I'm that mixture between an extrovert and a introvert,  oldest daughter syndrome, I like making new friends but arouhd a lot of people idk i hate leaving my friends sight, Comedic friend, and I'm a people pleaser. Hates when people say no not because im spoiled i just think they will hate me for asking a question like that. Sometimes wants to eat non edible things.

Hates: bugs, math, those stupid low quality crayons restaurants give kids, singing infront of people, and cleaning.

Loves: I love art, watching anime, music, Doing voice impressions, singing, riding my bike, Cosplaying, gaming, baking, cooking, and reading

Favorite animal: snakes

Show/movies i love: hazbin hotel, helluva boss, tbhk, demon slayer, mha, IF,  TMNT, journey to the center of the earth, jumanji, Disney movies in general, DreamWorks movies in general, schitts creek, ghost busters, tadc, Harry potter, percy jackson, comedy movies, my inner demons, dream smp,  and marvel in general.

Addicted to: fanfics, anime, ai chats, gummy/sour candy, tiktok, ghost hunting vids, music, stuffed animals.

Music taste: hazbin hotel and helluva boss music, Disney music, good charlotte, jelly roll, struggle jennings, tom macdonald, and country music.

Clothes style: short sleeve shirts, hoodies, Jean shorts and pants, converse, and a necklace if I'm feeling like it.

Must have: some sort of physical touch such as hugs or cuddles once or will go crazy

Allergies: dogs

(preferably don't give denki or Mic cuz I get those too often 😭. Thanks for your time!)

Demon Slayer

Tengen Uzi

My Hero Academia

Best Jeanist

You have deep special connections with both of them because of a shared creative spirit

They both think your hyper-ness is adorable and amusing

They both think of you as smart and appreciate that about you

They both love that you’re nerdy, they think it’s very cute and even have some nerdy interests themselves

Uzi freaking loves your sarcasm and loves giving it back just as much

Jeanist wasn’t expecting it but comes to find it humorous

As tall and intimidating as you are they are both taller and more intimidating

They are also just as much softies on the inside as you

I don’t know why but when you said your mind was dirty I just thought you meant like inappropriate stuff; innuendos or that sort of thing and I thought it would be funny because Tengen loves it even though he gets a little flustered and will do it right back. Poor Jeanist he gets so flustered, poor thing he doesn’t know how to act😂. But I did see you said F-ed up humor right after so I could have taken a different meaning

Either way they both find you very funny

They both try to be there for you and give you a safe space to express those emotions you suppress, they understand it will take time and it’s hard to break habits like that but they’re there for you if and when you need them

Jeanist especially will be sensitive to this and I think really dotes on you more than usual when he can sense you’re dealing with negative emotions

It’s good that you are sociable because both of them are also social, but they understand wanting to stick by people you know and are comfortable around

Both of them have a lot of expectations in their lives; the hero society and general public, the demon slayer corps, as well as internal pressure so they understand people pleasing well and might even have those tendencies themselves

They will help you to not do it too much to where you burn yourself out, if you want their help that is. If you just want them to be understanding and love you through it they’ll do that too

Honestly I think they are both so doting and wrapped around your finger they virtually never say no to you. Whatever you want is yours

They both happen to love basically all the stuff you listed you love so it’s really nice you can enjoy the same things

They both love physical affection like hugs or cuddles and will hug or cuddle you all the time

[docholligay]

Going through someone's blog and seeing two posts, like...4 days apart ? Of:

Post a: neurotypical people don't understand how much of a struggle it is to listen to them talk about stuff I don't care about :( I wish it was socially acceptable to tell them I'm not interested, ever.

Post b: honestly hurts so much when you can tell someone doesn't care about your special interest. :(

I just want to cup your face and go, "please reread those and let's talk about social kindness"

I did block them, I think I am reaching a friggin... point break over here. I have been weird all my life, I was an EXTREMELY lonely child, and if someone wanted to tell me about their pet lizard I would have died happy, and if they had listened to me talk about the time Kate Harony burned down a barn to get doc out of prison, my tiny child heart would have burst. Like, that's give and take.

I've been trying to express this deep deep SCRATCH of irritation for weeks now, and I think a closer step to it, is... neurotypical, if we believe anyone is, people, also have feelings and needs and preferences. They ALSO get to decide what they can and can't live with.

I have a pretty classic and overwhelming strain of ADHD. Though, I feel less and less like saying the word for it matters, and get closer and closer to identifying as Fucking Weird. My mother is broadly neurotypical. She gets to have her feelings be hurt if I don't want to hear about her and her boyfriend's day at Costco. That's what she did with her day. She wants to tell me. I owe her that if I want to talk about my run, for example. I listen to jetty talk about coding even though I legitimately don't understand. I try and follow along!

I get tired of the idea that you don't ever have to put effort into relationships, and if you do, they aren't good relationships. And this attendant idea that being nice is masking behavior when it's you, but it's just kindness when it's other people doing it.

If it is true that you don't owe anyone anything, then the reverse is also true. No one owes you anything. This is not how I want to live.

There are things I do that are basically harmless: I have a lot of trouble sitting still, I'm twitchy and startle easily, and a million other small things that as it turns out I'm actually not going to mention because I don't like attention being drawn to them and i hate it when people notice, and I know they do.

None of those things really affect other people.

There are also things I do that are anywhere from annoying to harmful: I forget things, I interrupt people,* I sometimes zone out and lose the thread of whatever was going on.

If I love people, and I want them to love me, I have to treat them with that love as much as is possible. If I forget something, and make someone feel rejected, that is true whether or not I can pin a diagnosis to their lives. I hate to say it, but, "treat people as you would like to be treated" is often a very good guideline. Do you want someone to listen to you talk about the video game you really love? Then you should listen to them talk about Crossfit. Or, I guess the secret third option is, maybe you don't want to be friends, but that, too, is a choice.

I've been working with my three year old on conversation, and we've come up with things you can ask people if you'd like to get to know them better. Her current favorites are "What's your favorite animal?" and "what's your favorite color of crayon?" I think these are both great topics for a three year old. I want to teach her that if she wants people to talk to her and be engaged with her, she will have to give them the same.

This is true of everyone. Everyone has feelings. Everyone has interests and thoughts and preferences. I cannot emphasize enough how important I think it is to remember that life is a chorus, and none of us are the soloist. We are here for each other. Other people are not your backing vocals.

*this is also a cultural issue, though. I don't actually experience problems with this in some circles.

[aspd-culture]

aspd and adhd(/possible autism) culture is realizing only once you're out of high school "ohhhhhhh wait, so i thought i wasn't abused growing up, but actually i was and it only stopped due to covid, and that resulted in my osdd system and aspd?"

buckle up, this is Long and definitely classifies as a Vent. honestly, you can ignore the middle section and jump to the next blank line of space if you want.

jesus christ. i was punished more harshly than my peers, i struggled to make friends, i was put into a little school program where board games were used to reinforce good behavior in problem kids which i only realized two months ago, my memory issues (which were always there, but only noticed in fifth grade) got me into so much shit with every authority figure ever, i broke a window using one of those mechanical hamster things that were popular at the time by accident but i didn't care at all, that's just scratching the surface

memories of things have been coming back to me lately. according to my mom i was such a nice little kid, always shared and was polite and highly empathetic, all the goods.

school came along, flipped everything on its head. i remember harassing and hurting animals, and people, and sometimes telling those people not to tell—not because i felt bad but because i didn't want to get into trouble again, it was an inconvenience. my home life was pretty good but other kids left me out of things a lot and sometimes called me names, even the neighbors' kids i liked to hang out with would make me the monster of their games and that does something to a kid (one of them is also the reason i'm a victim of cocsa). when i did something wrong or bad there was only punishment because i "should know not to do that" and so i had to teach myself how to be a functioning and good member of society. i got good at lying towards the end of third grade, the skill got better from there with every punishment i faced

when a former friend told me "hey, you have aspd traits/might have aspd" i went and found the checklist, because thorough research is how i work, went through it. at the time i didn't think it fit very well because "yes, i experience that but that's pretty normal for people, i learned how to manage it under several layers of creating a socially acceptable person just like everyone else"

i've gone back to it a couple times since and wow, surprise surprise, everything applies! the "this doesn't apply to me because i have a system to help with this thing" mindset means the thing still applies! there's some stuff, namely the destruction and truancy, that i didn't do but that's solely because i knew i couldn't get away with it and therefore didn't bother trying. so thanks to aaaaaaall that stuff and more, i definitely grew up with both conduct disorder and odd, and now it's aspd

i can't say i'm mad about having aspd? it causes problems in my life, yes, but i've spent so long wrangling myself into a form small enough to fit into society's box that it's not the worst thing anymore. i think i'm more mad at society, my peers, for not helping me with this and being kind where they should've, especially my mom as of recently

that said: it is fucking hard-wired into me that there's only good people and bad people in the world. harmful behavior towards me (or someone else doing something i can't forgive) is automatically met with hammurabi's eye for an eye. the coping mechanisms i use work very well, are generally healthy, and people who don't do anything to calm themselves down and think rationally tend to piss me off. i have been fighting those things for a while but they're the ones that simply won't go away. hamburger help me.

aspd-culture-is

There's a lot of good information in this ask. Too many people see ASPD as a direct result of physical abuse or CSA/SA, when a lot of ASPD symptoms really develop around things that are seen as smaller issues, where a child's problems get diminished by the people who are supposed to help that child to the point where they feel the only person that will help them is themself.

More than anything else, I personally think a very quick and simple way to decrease the number of people who end up with ASPD would be to get parents and other caregiving adults, and honestly society as a whole, to understand that regardless of how simple, silly, or insignificant it may seem to someone older, these "silly" things are often the worst thing the child has experienced up until that point. Someone always having to be the monster sounds like nothing to an adult, leading to no response to help besides maybe "they're just teasing you, ignore them". But "just teasing" is the most social rejection a child has experienced to that point, and so it is extremely distressing and emotionally painful. It feels like the most isolated they could possibly be, because they haven't been around long enough to experience worse. Then, the child is told to ignore it, which not only fails to make them feel better, but often causes it to get even worse as the other kids try and push harder to get the reaction they're looking for. Do they eventually give up? Sometimes. But the lengths and extremes many bullies will go to when "just teasing" doesn't elicit a response is disturbing and that fact is either unknown to or ignored by adults.

Part of why always being made the monster does something to a kid is that it is treated as a non-issue. When that is what a developing brain learns is the reaction to their pain, they will no longer seek outside help when things become extreme.

TW: descriptions of SA/r threats. Skip the following paragraph and move to the next one to avoid. Also a bit of a vent.

When I was in school, I was teased. I was made the dog who was not allowed to talk or a person with their vocal chords removed any time we played pretend. Sometimes they made me a rock or stick on the ground, even. It sounds like nothing, and when I was told it would go away if I ignored them, I listened. It didn't stop them. It led to an entire set of multiple schools that were combined into one building seeing me as a verbal and sometimes physical plaything; a place to take out your angst and distress. I lost my personhood in their eyes, so my understanding of social interactions were tainted and colored by the way my peers treated me. I told anyone who tried to befriend me not to be seen talking to me, to bully me publicly so they wouldn't get the treatment I got, so even the few people who tried to be kind got a skewed, unnatural social interaction with me. Many listened, and I don't hold that against them at all. That's simply what they had to do to make it. It got to the point of receiving verbal and *detailed, written-out, and signed* r word threats, and boys who were 11 years old talking about kidnapping tying me up in their parents attic and using me whenever they wanted (theirs was more detailed). Some even attempted to touch me, and adults nearby ignored it because "X likes to handle it themselves, they don't like when adults get involved", because I learned that they would only vaguely say stop, and it would get worse. That's what happens when you just ignore it.

And what do we call a person who learns that only they can protect themselves, and who doesn't understand any positive interaction with anyone that isn't transactional? Antisocial. I hate the idea what a positive relationship with family is incompatible with ASPD, sorry about the rant. Because of how ASPD develops, I refuse to dislike or resent myself or my symptoms when it comes to ASPD. If people didn't want me like this, they shouldn't have treated me like this.

Plain text below the cut:

There's a lot of good information in this ask. Too many people see ASPD as a direct result of physical abuse or CSA/SA, when a lot of ASPD symptoms really develop around things that are seen as smaller issues, where a child's problems get diminished by the people who are supposed to help that child to the point where they feel the only person that will help them is themself.

More than anything else, I personally think a very quick and simple way to decrease the number of people who end up with ASPD would be to get parents and other caregiving adults, and honestly society as a whole, to understand that regardless of how simple, silly, or insignificant it may seem to someone older, these "silly" things are often the worst thing the child has experienced up until that point. Someone always having to be the monster sounds like nothing to an adult, leading to no response to help besides maybe "they're just teasing you, ignore them". But "just teasing" is the most social rejection a child has experienced to that point, and so it is extremely distressing and emotionally painful. It feels like the most isolated they could possibly be, because they haven't been around long enough to experience worse. Then, the child is told to ignore it, which not only fails to make them feel better, but often causes it to get even worse as the other kids try and push harder to get the reaction they're looking for. Do they eventually give up? Sometimes. But the lengths and extremes many bullies will go to when "just teasing" doesn't elicit a response is disturbing and that fact is either unknown to or ignored by adults.

Part of why always being made the monster does something to a kid is that it is treated as a non-issue. When that is what a developing brain learns is the reaction to their pain, they will no longer seek outside help when things become extreme.

TW: descriptions of SA/r threats. Skip the following paragraph and move to the next one to avoid. Also a bit of a vent.

When I was in school, I was teased. I was made the dog who was not allowed to talk or a person with their vocal chords removed any time we played pretend. Sometimes they made me a rock or stick on the ground, even. It sounds like nothing, and when I was told it would go away if I ignored them, I listened. It didn't stop them. It led to an entire set of multiple schools that were combined into one building seeing me as a verbal and sometimes physical plaything; a place to take out your angst and distress. I lost my personhood in their eyes, so my understanding of social interactions were tainted and colored by the way my peers treated me. I told anyone who tried to befriend me not to be seen talking to me, to bully me publicly so they wouldn't get the treatment I got, so even the few people who tried to be kind got a skewed, unnatural social interaction with me. Many listened, and I don't hold that against them at all. That's simply what they had to do to make it. It got to the point of receiving verbal and *detailed, written-out, and signed* r word threats, and boys who were 11 years old talking about kidnapping tying me up in their parents attic and using me whenever they wanted (theirs was more detailed). Some even attempted to touch me, and adults nearby ignored it because "X likes to handle it themselves, they don't like when adults get involved", because I learned that they would only vaguely say stop, and it would get worse. That's what happens when you just ignore it.

And what do we call a person who learns that only they can protect themselves, and who doesn't understand any positive interaction with anyone that isn't transactional? Antisocial. I hate the idea what a positive relationship with family is incompatible with ASPD, sorry about the rant. Because of how ASPD develops, I refuse to dislike or resent myself or my symptoms when it comes to ASPD. If people didn't want me like this, they shouldn't have treated me like this.

[kabillieu]

After the break stuff about my big kid

Another reason I feel good despite my tweaked back is that I do not have to help my big kid do homework today because he did it yesterday. Homework has been a big struggle for the entirety of my kid's school career. He can often spend two to three (sometimes even longer?) the amount of time it actually takes to do homework with melting down over the transition from a preferred activity. As he has gotten more dysregulated from unhappiness at school these past few weeks, homework struggles have gotten even worse, which seems impossible because it was already bad.

But, I will say--very, very cautiously--that I believe the stimulates he started taking two weeks ago have been helping. Helping with homework, helping with the school day, helping with focus and concentration, helping with communication, helping with emotional regulation. Helping. I'm still waiting for the bottom to fall out, but for now things seem to be slightly better. Maybe even a lot better depending on how you think about it. Does he still hate everything about school? Yes. Is he still lonely and miserable? Yes. But he seems to have a slightly more even keel than before. Even when he does still freak out over things, he seems to bounce back more quickly and be able to reframe and recover. Yesterday he did math homework by himself like it was nothing. That's a minor miracle.

We refrained from trying medication again for a long time because when we tried it when he was six, it was an upsetting experience, but I also know that many people with ADHD need medication. I don't want to withhold medication from him if he really does need it, if it makes him feel better.

The last week has been a lot more peaceful because he seems to have more wherewithal to deal with normal, everyday life. I appreciate that so much. There are still major things we need to help him address, and we will continue to tweak his meds with his doctor. But maybe it's not wishful thinking. And maybe it's not a trick. Maybe they're helping. I hope so.

(Getting him out of bed on school mornings is still a harrowing experience, but one thing at a time.)