#a lot if it is white people trying to feel oppressed

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Hockey culture in Canada is so stupid, bigoted and toxic. Clearly it's what happens when you let cishet white men be the centre of a sport.

[bleakbluejay]

you guys gotta learn to be a lot cooler about religions that aren't your own

and yes. that does include christianity.

[area51-escapee]

I feel like it should be relatively easy to understand that transwomen/transfems are statistically and provably more likely to be targeted by transphobia and that yes, the demonization and and violence they face are demonstrably worse than what transmen/transmascs face, but that doesn’t mean transmen/transmascs don’t face face violence and oppression and transphobia or shouldn’t be taken seriously when we discuss how these things effect us. And yet.

[starlooove]

Why are people surprised that Zionists are being abhorrent at these protests and then sayin they’re victims. Ig surprised isn’t the right word but people keep pointing out ‘this doesn’t make sense’ like it’s a fallacy in a discord debate like this is just how racism has always been

[creepykuroneko]

Whenever I see asian, brown, and/or black Americans reinforcing, supporting, and upholding racism, colonization, imperialism, colorism, and any other belief system that not only harms them directly but other non-white communities as well and they still want to claim that they themselves are POC and face discrimination I feel bitter disgust towards them.

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

even though your feelings are always real, they arent always fair or useful. the crime rate is the lowest it's been in decades but the fear of violent crime and belief in your own victimhood is what leads people to call 911 on a black man walking in a neighborhood or be too disgusted to touch or talk to a homeless person. its not cold calculating evil! its real physical fear and the feeling of safety in some associated action. it's a normal & reasonable self-protective instinct, but its informed by a false understanding of what will make you safe or unsafe, and acting on it can hurt other people. your right to feel fear or disgust or safety is sometimes in opposition to other people's health and material safety- and often in opposition to your own real safety, if you constantly live under a fear that isn't realistic or useful and precludes you from enjoying safety you physically have access to.

so: it's in the interest of your own safety and the safety of your community to be aware of the lifestyle your fears lead you to lead and to work toward shedding fears that aren't true or helpful. its difficult because it feels like the most evil thing in the world but you can just decide to stop feeling upset by something whenever you want. it feels bad!! i think theres probably a natural human aversion to changing our minds about fundamental preconceptions about safety because thats what keeps us from getting eaten by tigers. but everything serves an end, and it's good to hold your belief system to a standard of utility and truthfulness, to the best of your knowledge, and when you learn new things about the world, be gracious enough to adjust. a lot of the time, also, if you don't feel comfortable taking a stance because you need more information or have conflicting records of the truth you can find a lot of useful real-world data and opinion on the internet, and here, as in all things, it's vital & greatly expands your world to cultivate good research skills and credulity. now, unrelated trivia: genuine paraphilic attraction to children isnt a reliable indicator or even correlate of past or future attempts to sexually abuse children

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.

the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.

masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake

nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.

masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,

AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.

the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.

this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.

men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.

enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must

[jessicalprice]

I think the thing that most Christian atheists who are rebelling against authoritarian Christian backgrounds don't get is why Jews remain Jewish.

Like, I get it, you engaged in your practices because you were told that God would punish you if you didn't, because you're told you're supposed to fear God.

(Incidentally, we don't even use the same language about this. The term that gets translated in most English bibles as "fear" is, like many classical Hebrew words, a lot more multivalent than the English term, and has more of a connotation of "awe." (See, for example, the Gilgamesh dream sequence: "Why am I trembling? No god passed this way." A god is something in whose wake one trembles.) It's what one feels when one is faced with something bigger than oneself, something overwhelming. For some people that may be fear of being harmed. For others it may be wonder or even ecstasy, standing outside oneself.)

But in 2023, Jews have the option (and, indeed, still the cultural pressure) to completely abandon Judaism. Very easily. We can, in fact, do it quite passively. If we're not actively trying to engage with it, it will very much drift away from us.

And it's not fear of divine punishment keeping most of us engaged.

The thing is, if you proved to me tomorrow that God doesn't exist, I'm not sure anything about my life or my practice would change. (I'm already agnostic, so *shrug*. I don't believe in a God-person. Sometimes I believe in a unity to reality, a life and a direction to it. Sometimes I don't. I just don't have the arrogance to think I understand definitively the way the universe does or doesn't work.) I still would celebrate Shabbat, I still wouldn't eat pork, I still would have a mezuzah on my doorway.

I do all that stuff because I'm Jewish, not because I think God will get mad if I don't. I do all that stuff because it's part of a cultural system that I see as wise and life-giving and therapeutic and worth maintaining.

And the thing is, the cultural system that Christian antitheists want us to assimilate into, under the guise of "getting rid of religion", is very much a white Protestant culture. It's not culturally neutral. It has practices, and it has a particular worldview, and it has cultural norms that are just as irrational as any other culture's.

It's also very telling that Christian antitheists purport to be harmed by Jews continuing to be Jewish. Why? We don't impose our norms on anyone else, and we overwhelmingly vote (and organize, and engage in activism) against the imposition of Christian "religious" norms, such as the curtailing of reproductive freedom, blue laws, etc.

So you're only "harmed" by our continued existence in the same way Christians purport to be harmed by it: by claiming that the very existence of a group that doesn't share your worldview and practices is somehow an act of oppression against you.

Which is, you know, white supremacist logic.

You're still upholding the logic of Jesus's genocidal, colonial Great Commission even though you supposedly don't believe in the god that ordered it anymore.

That's gotta be one of the saddest things I encounter among my fellow humans.

You took down all the crosses in the church of your mind and chucked them out the window, but you still refuse to step foot outside the church building, contenting yourself with claiming it's not a church, and firing out the windows at the synagogue and mosque down the road, the same way you used to.

[spacelazarwolf]

saw a post that gave me an eye twitch so i’m gonna break it down and analyze it bc i feel like it exemplifies a lot of what’s wrong with gentile discourse on i/p rn.

1. yeah, it is awful that zionist institutions and leadership use jewish trauma to justify why diaspora jews should unquestioningly support the current state of israel, regardless of the atrocities it commits against palestinians.

2. "israel is not your bube who survived the shoah" i don't know how to explain to you how fucking callous this sentence is.

3. for better or worse, israel did save jewish people. nearly a million jews from the swana region and 24,000 from ethiopia fled there after experiencing extreme violence and discrimination. you really think america or europe would have taken in a million black and brown jews? have you seen the current state of immigration?

4. "how do you argue with someone when their idea of israel is so rooted in their family trauma?" you don't. you validate their fears, make them feel heard, and then you offer them alternatives. the vast majority of diaspora support for israel is based in fear of persecution and eradication. if you offer real, legitimate solutions for the safety of diaspora jews, i guarantee you will be a thousand times more successful than just screaming at them and telling them "who fucking cares about your holocaust survivor bubbe????"

5. "how do you possibly tell them that the holocaust isn't relevant?" you don't, because it is. nearly 500,000 holocaust survivors moved to or were sent to israel after the shoah. some did not have a choice of where they were sent, some tried to go back to where they were living before but had no money and gentiles had taken their houses and belongings so they had nowhere to go, many faced violence upon trying to return to their hometowns in the form of pogroms, several countries turned them away. you cannot say the holocaust is not relevant to the current israeli population because gentiles in the diaspora are the reason they're there.

6. "i'm so tired of centering jewish identity in discussions over a nation state." are you stupid? genuinely, are you stupid? do you really not see how jewish identity and the history of the jewish people factor into a state with a fucking star of david on the flag that was founded after a genocide of 6 million jews that the rest of the world didn't want to deal with? seriously? no, jews in the diaspora are not responsible for the actions of the israeli government. we aren't more loyal to israel than we are to wherever we're living. but to say that israel has nothing to do with the jewish people is frankly laughable.

7. "how do you say that without sounding invalidating? like that just sounds horrible and antisemitic." that's because it is. you are being horrible and antisemitic.

edited to add: NUCLEAR SUPERPOWER?????????????????????????????? HELLO??????????????????????????

so please for the love of fuck educate yourself on the history of the jewish people and the history of the state of israel before making stupid ass posts like this. israel didn't manifest out of nowhere, it didn't come from "jewish supremacy" it came from hundreds of thousands of jews who were at their wit's fucking end with antisemitism in the diaspora, and from britain's colonization and imperialism paired with it's complete and total disregard for anyone who wasn't racially and culturally white. the monster that is modern day political zionism is a creation of the world's own making. people have been posting a lot about hamas being a response to 70+ years of israeli occupation, violence, and apartheid, but don't seem to understand that israel is a response to 3000+ years of persecution, expulsion, and genocide. the massacres and terror committed by hamas don't take into account the wellbeing of palestinians, and the oppression and violence perpetuated by the israeli government don't take into account the wellbeing of jews in israel or in the diaspora.

nothing will change if gentiles in the diaspora do not take responsibility for the rest of the world's role in the creation of israel. research your country, learn about how they treated their jews (not just during the holocaust but from the moment there were jews in your country), talk to your local jewish population, ask how you and organizations you are part of can help keep the diaspora safe for jews. because as an american jew, i don't want to move to israel. the government is borderline fascist, non ashki non orthodox jews are often seen as second class citizens, i don't speak the language, and my life is here. a lot of diaspora jews feel this way. but every time i see another group of nazis at a rally or get another bomb threat at my synagogue and look to see which country would be safest to move to as a trans person and as a jew, the only answer is israel, which is exactly what zionist institutions and leadership are counting on. if you want that to change, you and your community have to change it.

[ftmtftm]

as a brown woman, i think one of the reasons for this is the refusal to understand (in this example particularly i'll use race, but i think this could be applied to other forms of oppression) the reality of the oppression men of color face, and the insistence on viewing oppression as disparate.

my dad and brother have told me many stories about how much their emotions are policed at work. my dad raises his voice the slightest bit or doesn't come off jovial and pleasant, and people get upset and feel threatened by him. there's a post i've seen before where a black man says something similar, in response to a woman saying 'men will never know what it's like to worry about having rbf.' he was saying how he very much does, or the white people around him will make negative assumptions he's then responsible for. it is something that these two marginalized groups share, but there's backlash whenever it gets brought up because i think a lot of cis women cling to the idea that certain things are a "woman's experience" and feel threatened when marginalized men can relate to them. which men are the default? which women are the other? the default male experience has never been something the men in my family can relate to because their race precludes them from doing so. the 'othered' experience of women is often not something i can relate to, because the loudest voices about it are white women being othered by white men.

in reality, oppression often functions in similar ways, even with different groups, and bonding and forming solidarity in that is a great way to bring awareness to it. but that requires people to get over themselves and their own conceptions of victims and oppressors, which is much harder than it seems to be.

YES !!!! Yes exactly, you've hit the nail on the head.

Especially at the very end, because honestly? I think it requires a decent amount of personal healing, carefully practiced empathy, and a bit of ego death to get to that point and it's really hard to do that when you're also actively in a marginalized position yourself.

It's a big task asking people who are hurt to find solidarity with each other because we live in a culture that actively discourages that for several reasons - very systemically. Particularly with feminism it's extremely difficult because Radfem "universal female experience / female utopia" isolationism (and even going back farther, the First Wave as a whole) severed a lot of those opportunities for solidarity early on and we have to pick up the broken pieces to try and mend them now.

[transtheology]

I'm probably not the only one who feels this way but I'm getting so tired of "you sound like a Catholic" being the ultimate burn in queer discourse. Most of the time the rhetoric they're critiquing isn't even particularly Catholic, they just use it as a synonym for "religious people I hate." It's exhausting always being the one to get thrown under the bus. I wish people could just explain why a point is bad without having to point at a demographic and say you don't want to be like THEM do you

I've felt for a while that queer Tumblr has a habit of reinforcing harmful aspects of Christianity as being inherit & unchangeable, and essentially taking an attitude of "if you are Christian you will inevitably be miserable and guilty and probably evil, and the only way to not be is to simply Stop Being Christian."

It's a tale as old as time: in trying to oppose homophobic, oppressive Christians, we end up re-affirming that their version of Christianity is the correct one. When Catholic = feeling guilty over everything and denying yourself all pleasure, there's no room for Catholics to change things for the better. And there are people who want to change things for the better!

My hot take is that I think queer people* on here tend to know a lot less about Christianity than they think. There's a lot of people raised Protestant who don't really understand Catholicism, and a lot of people who seem to believe that Christianity is exclusively practiced by White Europeans and people they colonized & converted, as if there aren't indigenous forms of Christianity throughout Asia and Africa. Christianity is extremely diverse in interpretations and practices across time and space! It's really not simple or homogenous, and it's always evolving just like every other religion!

And like you said. A lot of criticisms people have are not things unique to Catholicism or even Christianity. I think a lot of people view being an ally to non-Christians as going "Christianity Bad, This Good." Which is just. not effective. It reduces all other religions down to a highly simplified version of themselves, defines them by their opposition to Christianity, and often pushes people who were abused in those faiths towards the right because they feel that the left has no space for their "problematic" religious trauma. In order to not be a hypocrite, you either have to be a shitty anti-theist, or accept that every religion is complex and ever-changing and needs to be vigilant to not be weaponized by the powerful for their own gain.

*particularly culturally christian people who were never religiously engaged themselves

[txttletale]

Obligatory "in good faith" premise.

I've seen an argument against tme/tma that focuses on the fact that there's no similar terms for other types of oppression (as in, no terms like "racism affected/exempt"), and how tme/tma aren't good terms because they imply there's people who can't be affected at all by transmisogyny, regardless of whether it would be "misdirected" or not (which I do think it would be, although a lot of people against tme/tma would disagree).

Since tma/tme functionally ends up meaning just "transfem" and "not transfem" (or at least that's how ive seen it used and advocated for), do you think there's something to the idea that we could just say that instead when discussing transmisogyny? Or is there something about these specific terms that adds to the conversation?

I mean, I guess it would be awkward to put "not transfem" in your bio maybe

i mean like. there are those terms, though, those terms dfo exist, they're jsut called 'poc' and 'white'. liike the construction of 'whiteness' is such that it basically literally means 'racism exempt' within the context of white supremacy (which is ofc the context in which most discussion of racism takes place).

i feel like people are really getting caught up on like, 'exempt' and 'affected' as like, total absolutes 100% of the time and bringing up edge cases as though this absolutely refutes them when i think that's not a particularly useful thing to do for what are fundamentally abstractions for discussing a particular set of nuanced and diverse relations to transmisogyny! like obviously every single person has a unique and specific relationship to transmisogyny, but that doesn't make the terms useless an ymore than 'gay' or 'trans' are useless because people have complicated sexuality or gender situations.

& i think that if we started saying 'transfem / not transfem' then all the exact same edge cases and arguments would just start shifting onto the definition of the word 'transfem'. which i don't think is synonymous with TMA. i think that e.g. arguing that drag queens who regularly have their lives threatened by nazi militiamen with guns are not Transmisogyny Affected is kind of sillygoofy, right, but a lot of them don't identify as transfem! & i think moreover that saying 'trans women' and 'non trans women' kind of is the exact same maneuver as people who say 'don't say cis' because like the implicit content of using those constructions is that there are 'default' people who need no descritpor and then there are 'transfems', right?

+ i think TME/TMA are valuable because they articulate exactly what's relevant about the distinction, which is a relationship to transmisogyny. like a trans guy isnt 'TME' because he's a trans guy, but because if he gets into an argument with me he can pull out the classic 'aggressive' 'scary' 'creepy' 'predatory' 'sexual deviant' cards and try to have me socially murdered and have people side with him by default, something he shares with a cis guy and a cis girl in the exact same situaiton. because of the Trans Misogyny that i am Affected by and he is Exempt From and that therefore can be weaopnized against me in any interaction.

[0nyancat0]

My take on “radical feminism” that nobody asked for

I myself consider myself leaning very into radical feminism but I see that terf ideologies seem to get mixed in more often than not (wanna make it clear I support trans rights)

1. A lot of rad fems think that all heterosexual sex is rape which is such an insane thing to do and implies that women do not have the power or capacity to consent to heterosexual sex

2. I do agree that we as woman will never find liberation through sex or sex work however rad fems do not realize that a lot of women fall into sex work and can not simply quit, I do not support the sex work industry but I support sex workers

3. To me it seems a lot of white women have overshadowed the movement and only mention woc when it’s used as an aha! moment against men and not with the intention of actually helping

4. Extreme transphobia, the main idea is that trans women rape women’s body’s and appropriating the body, my conflict with this is women are not their bodies and trans women have always felt like women since birth is the biological aspect that’s the problem

5. A lot of rad fems think a women choosing a certain lifestyle or religion is oppressive which again perpetuates the idea that women can not make a choice without a man or patriarchal idea being involved or a sense of brain washing

I think a lot of rad fems have lost sense of the movement and more times than often make themselves appear victim like and in a constant state of martyrdom, yes we women have suffered and continue to suffer and be oppressed but we can not let this weight break us down and make us point fingers at people (trans women and women who choose religion or certain life styles) who are not the root cause of our suffering

Please let me know your thoughts

Edit

⭐️Some people seem to be confused about this but i was born a woman and will always be a woman, it’s so crazy how other women will try to degrade me as if they were men for disagreeing with them or seeing things differently, i do not like liberal feminism and i never have, and i do not like to label my belief system and prefer to make a more individual standpoint than community⭐️

Another edit lol

⭐️I have never claimed to be a rad fem or that I know everything about rad feminism because I don’t, and that was the purpose of this post, it’s really crazy how people will say they want to educate and liberate women while yelling and degrading me for simply not agreeing with them and proceed to do the same things men do, you are no better than a man, I’ve come to realize that this community strayed from its original purpose and roots and has been taken over by people who want to put in their own two cents and opinion, this community or at least a good portion of it seems like a very miserable community, I have meet a lot of rad fems who have common sense and realize that hate will get them nowhere and being rude to me won’t achieve anything, on the other hand majority of rad fems I’ve meet have misconstrued the movement from what I’ve read and put feelings over facts, I won’t interact to hate and only to genuine discussions ⭐️

[genderkoolaid]

Hi. You always post a lot of info so I'm wondering if you might be able to help me. Is there a difference between radfems and TERFs? Are they both bad? If so, why are they bad? Are there any dog whistles to look out for when it comes to these groups? Please ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. I've seen a lot of people pointing out that they're bad, but never really saying why. I want to make sure I follow intersectional feminism and not those groups.

Radical feminism is the name of a branch of feminism. It originally got its name because it advocated for extreme changes to society to address female oppression, but developed into a specific worldview which I (off the top of my head) would define by certain traits:

Oppositional sexism. Men and women (or "males" and "females") are fundamentally opposed. Oftentimes this is bioessentialist, arguing that this opposite comes from biology, but it may also be framed as a political necessity; a radfem might argue that gender and sex are fake BUT we need male vs female as political identities in order to identify our "allies" and "enemies". Regardless, males and females are physically distinct and political enemies. You can tell a man from a woman, either from their body or their behavior, the two categories cannot overlap, and no other gender/sex-labels are relevant.

Fatalistic perspectives on patriarchy. Not only are males and females opposed, but this cannot be changed. This may be bioessentialist (the opposition comes from something in our nature, which cannot change) or gender-essentialist (the opposition comes from socialization which occurs as a child due to outside pressure and/or internal gender identity, and cannot change.) Focus is not placed on an ideal future where men and women are equals and social partners. Instead, there is a sense that there is no way to truly have a society with men and women where males do not oppress females, or try to. Sometimes this is more implicit and other times you have people who explicitly believe in creating & enforcing female-only societies.

Misogyny as the source of all oppression, or at least the most important & the one people should identity themselves as before anything else. Those who call themselves intersectional generally only really care about other issues to the extent that they affect women in some way. Part of the downfall of the original radical feminists was the fact that the dominant groups were upper-class white women, who ignored racism and classism and silenced poor women & women of color, insisting that anti-racist and anti-classist action distracted from The Movement & that calling out other women's bigotry was anti-feminist.

A general suspicion of sexual desire and sex, often expressing itself as whorephobia (anti-sex work) and anti-kink attitudes, specifically under the argument that they are inherently misogynistic and abusive. Sex is associated with men and maleness, which again, are inherently the enemy. Sex WITH men, or with a person or object that could be construed as male, is especially bad.

The impetus to make your personal life As Feminist As Possible– "The personal is political." That isn't a bad slogan on its own (it's true), but with radical feminists it expresses itself as a high standard of Radfemmaxing. You should be celibate if you are attracted to men, or become a political lesbian, you shouldn't be masculine OR feminine (anti-butch & femme sentiment), you should reject makeup and shaving, you should cut off male relatives and even abort male fetuses– and you must identify with womanhood and femaleness, while rejecting any identity related to manhood and maleness. It's not just that you should examine your desires and choices and question why you feel the way you feel (again, this is a good thing). Radfems have the belief that they already know the correct answer to that Introspection, and if you come to any other conclusion than theirs (I like wearing makeup because it's fun, I want to be a man because it fits me), then it's taken as proof you are still brainwashed.

TERFS are trans-exclusive radfems. They believe that being trans is not real, or at least not healthy or an acceptable feminist stance. TERFs tend to use the language of "sex" and "males vs females." Many use the term "gender critical," meaning they see gender as fake and damaging, while sex is real and the proper platform for feminist analysis. I once saw a TERF define her stance as "it's not degrading because its feminine, its feminine because its degrading." They believe in things like autogynophilia and rapid onset gender dysphoria, and attribute transgender identity with sexual trauma, internalized homophobia and internalized misogyny.

TIRFs are trans inclusive. They believe that transgender feelings are natural and should be listened to and followed, and that feminism should take gender identity into account. However, they still have a "male vs female" worldview. They may argue that transgender men's internal gender feelings led them to internalize male socialization, while trans women internalized female socialization, meaning that all trans people's experiences with gender and misogyny align most with cis people who share their gender identity.

In both cases, anti-nonbinary exorsexism and intersexism are unavoidable. TERFs will label intersex people as "males/females with a disorder" and attribute nonbinary identity either to internalized misogyny (FTX) or to avoid being held accountable for male privilege (MTX). TIRFs similarly fail to acknowledge how someone's socialization can be affected by intersexism. MTX people are either trans women in denial or flamboyant cis men; FTX people are either trans men avoiding their privilege, or cis women avoiding their privilege*.

Not everyone who uses radical feminist arguments or shares the general perspective openly identified as radfem. There are many "cryptos" who purposefully obscure their political identity to spread radfem ideas in queer & feminist spaces. Other people adopt the general ideas of radical feminism without consciously identifying as one, because of cryptos and how pop feminism often adopts their flashier ideas. So it's important to understand these qualities as on a scale, with some versions being more subtle while others are explicit.

Radical feminism always reduces trans experiences (& experiences in general) to a simple, uncrossable binary, based either in gender or sex. Nuance and cros- or non-binary gender experiences are seen as anti-feminist and aligned with the patriarchy, if not part of a targeted plan to hurt feminist movements.

*the idea of "AFAB privilege" is. a thing in some people's analysis of transmisogyny.

[doberbutts]

It's astonishing to see people say "All fear of men is reasonable and okay, but you shouldn't be afraid of black people obviously" and you having to reply, "Hey, question? Aren't black men people?" Everyone clinging to their fear of men while never examining their actions which could harm men of color, in this case, black men who have historically been killed and lynched in great numbers by white women weaponizing this fear to end their lives. Read the Will to Change! bell hooks talks about this! She talks about how white people, especially white men, have distracted from their own patriarchal masculinity by portraying violent women-haters as aberrant and abnormal (So, clearly Black men are more likely to be dangerous because they're already aberrant and abnormal in our white supremacist society). PLEASE understand your fear isn't fucking value-neutral and can be inherently be trusted!!!

Also, on the topic of patriarchal masculinity, I think that term really encompasses what we're talking about when we say male privilege is highly conditional. It's also what makes this uncritical man-hating so devious. Like, bell hooks says, contemporary feminism has provided a place for some women to construct a sense of self outside of sexist expectations, but the same can't be said about men. So by distrusting trans men, telling them they should accept feeling unwelcome in queer spaces because "your identity as a man means you have to earn other's trust (even if you haven't done anything other than exist), you're conflating transmasculinity with patriarchal masculinity. Which is so fucking damaging? Not to mention how people love to destroy and hurt transmasc's emotional selves, the same rituals that bell hooks talks about which so severely damage cis men (who were the book's main topic), and we're doing this to a marginalized, queer group who face immense systemic oppression.

Just--I hate how we mutilate trans men's emotional selves, demonize them because we assume all men possess patriarchal masculinity. I hate how we can't talk about marginalized men because apparently, that means we believe in misandry, when in reality, we're trying to talk about how men of color are portrayed as the worst of masculinity to deflect from white men's violence.

Disclaimer: Sorry for this big ass ask. Just seeing you have to respond to people with a basic lack of understanding of intersectionality and who weren't subtle about their racism--gosh.

And the biggest issue is that I understand why the kneejerk reflex happens- there's a lot of men who have engaged in the most bad faith of bad faith discussions about men's issues and somehow have turned it all onto "so it's WOMEN'S fault things are like this" rather than "so how do we work together with everyone in society to break free", and so a lot of people have their guard up from the start and don't care to listen to the last bit because they think it's more of the same.

Unfortunately, all this will do is continue to make us spin our wheels. We are always stronger together.

[intersex-support]

Hi! I'm probably not intersex, and recently I've been trying to educate myself as much as possible on the intersex experience, entirely through reading posts from intersex people here on Tumblr.

I was wondering if there was any chance I could get some guidance on how I can best be supportive of intersex people both online and out in the wild! I try a lot to reblog everything I see on here and in general just treat everyone the same way, no matter if they're intersex or not, but I can't help but be worried I'll say something wrong out of being still on my journey to being educated.

So I thought I'd come here and just... ask?

What can I do to be the best ally I can?

In the same vein, do you happen to have any suggestions on sources I could use to educate myself further?

Thanks in advance!

Hi anon! Thanks for wanting to be a better ally.

I would recommend checking out the sources shared in this post.

I'd also specifically highlight that I think it's really important for allies to learn about intersex justice. Intersex justice is a specific movement and framework created by intersex people of color from the Intersex Justice Project that looks at intersex justice as a part of collective liberation, understands the important of cross-movement organizing, and recognizes the way that systems of power based on white supremacy and colonialism shape and enable intersex oppression. The seven principles of intersex justice are:

Informed consent

Reparations

Legal protections

Accountability

Language

Children's rights

Patient-centered healthcare

These are really important values to center your intersex allyship around.

I'll also share some miscellaneous tips for things to think about in your intersex allyship:

Listen to intersex people about our experiences, not doctors! The medical system plays a huge role in our oppression, and is not the expert on our experiences.

You're going to have to unlearn a lot more biases and myths than you might think you have to. Intersexism/compulsory dyadism shows up in a lot of small ways, like the fact there's only M and F boxes in forms, jokes about micropenises, beauty standards about body hair, and more. Keep an eye out for all these ways our society props up the sex binary, even though it's a myth.

Avoid DSD terminology, referring to "male" and "female" bodies, calling intersex a "third sex" and never use the h slur. Other terminology that isn't always bad, but often gets misused that can be good to keep an eye out for: AFAB/AMAB, biological sex (when people say that gender is socially constructed but sex is biological).

Research if there are intersex organizations in your country and join their email list! That's a great way to stay informed about if there's any current initiatives, protests, legislative proposals, or other forms of activism you can get involved in.

Speak up when you see intersexism in every space you're in, whether that's people advocating for normalizing surgery, using the h-slur, or otherwise talking in ways that dehumanize or isolate intersex people.

Figure out a way to bring intersex awareness to the spaces that you're in! Whether this is putting up posters for Intersex Awareness day in October in your neighborhood, work, and community spaces, hosting an event at an organization or club about intersex topics, watching an intersex film with your friends, even something like making intersex pride stuff for the Sims if that's a hobby of yours--those are all great ways to introduce more people to intersex topics.

Listen to the intersex people in your life about how to support them! A lot of intersex people have a lot of very different experiences, needs, and wants. We don't have universal experiences and there are many different opinions on things in the intersex community. A lot of us are also multiply marginalized and our intersex identities are shaped by that.

If other intersex followers have tips, please feel free to add on!