ftmtftm

[ftmtftm]

i just said it in the group chat but yall r very very obvious about using “step on me” on groups of ppl u see as inherently masculine or dominating like this isnt even just touching on ur idea of respecting minorities being contingent on if u wanna fuck them but specifically the phrases and rhetoric used to specific minorities shows how u view them subconsciously like ive seen the step o me mommy stuff go from just being a general call for domination to almost exclusively being used on black women and trans women online bc of the shared idea that these groups r inherently dominating or that showing love or respect for these groups = submission which is a whole can of worms in of itself bc yall see penetration / domination as violence etc ……u r not an ally by asking a random minority to step on you, u r very scary and u stink

[ftmtftm]

I think we should talk about how one of the core aspects of transandrophobia is ableism. They do not think transmascs are confused girls, they think transmascs are disabled girls. The rhetoric of ROGD and similar revolves around the concept of young autistic and mentally ill “girls” transitioning instead of dealing with their disorders. They lack many friends due to their disabilities, so they easily are “preyed upon” by older transmascs (because the theory is not that trans women make girls trans, it is that other trans men convince them. This is the entire basis of the “social contagion” of transgender identity amongst people AFAB).

The stance that transmascs are “just” treated as “confused” refuses to acknowledge the actual goal of refusing autonomy to what they perceive as girls who are too disabled to know who they are or what they want. It is not nearly as trivial as people make it out to be.

[ftmtftm]

Radical Feminism is foundationally dogshit theory regardless of who is vomiting it out! Any theory whose foundational core encourages in group/out group dynamics is dangerous!

A Radical Feminist and a feminist who has radical politics are two different things.

One is someone who engages with a distinct political ideology that has a 50 year long history that is rooted in bioessentialism and is foundationally tied to genocidal politics (yes the SCUM Manifesto was the inspiration for the original Radical Feminist Manifesto this is an indisputable, verifiable fact about Valerie Solanas and Ti-Grace Atkinson and the political formation of Radfem politics). It cannot be meaningfully salvaged if you truly want to engage in liberation focused politics.

The other could literally mean a feminist with any kind of politically radical leaning, like a Decolonialist Feminist or a Communist Feminist or an Anarcha-feminist.

There are so many schools of Feminist thought — stop limiting yourselves to literally one of the most politically destructive branches of the philosophy outside of Liberal / pop culture Feminism. Especially because Radical Feminism will lie and try to convince you it's the only option in opposition to Liberal Feminism when it's objectively not. You can be a politically radical feminist without being a Radical Feminist — and you should be.

[ftmtftm]

A LITANY FOR SURVIVAL: THE LIFE AND WORK OF AUDRE LORDE (1995) dir. ADA GAY GRIFFIN, MICHELLE PARKERSON

[ftmtftm]

idk how “the world wasn’t built for us” turned into an example of shitty autism discourse when ever since I got my wheelchair I’m taking -1hp every fifteen minutes as I encounter another obstacle that could have been easily avoided with better architecture, interior design, urban planning, or management logistics

[ftmtftm]

reject the idea that trans men exist to heal you or protect you or fix your relationship with gender. that’s a whole vulnerable and flawed human being. maybe you should be protecting him

[ftmtftm]

Audre Lorde, from “The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism” (1981) [ID in ALT]

[ftmtftm]

a common line of exorsexist logic you end up seeing a lot of goes like this. Good Nonbinary People do not care at all about having their gender recognized. they are apathetic about gender but not in a way that is at all threatening to binarism. they are totally fine being grouped in with binary genders and don’t talk about being nonbinary “too much.” maybe they use they/them pronouns but they don’t mention it or correct anyone, or they always make sure to say “they/he” or “she/they” so people can binarize them without feeling too bad. they don't ask for or expect binary people to step outside of their comfort zone if they don't want to. on the other hand, Bad Nonbinary People care about their gender/s. they get upset when people continually gender them as binary and ignore their NB identity. they use nonbinary-specific language and labels. they bring up their NB identity and how it shapes their life and personhood. they do not let people get away with misgendering them, however its done, and do not shape their pronoun usage around what is easiest for binary people. they directly confront binarism and demand change.

[ftmtftm]

I don't talk about my personal experience with gender openly anymore and that's been bothering me. I think part of why I've been hesitant is because I hardly think of gender as a personal identity for myself anymore. It's just like, another facet of communication to me.

To myself I'm mostly just nonbinary, as in "not a binary gender". To more intimate relationships I'm bigender/multigender because I don't exist in a gender neutral state and it stops people from perceiving me as agender. I'm a trans man to coworkers and family because it's easier to explain and that's all they really need to know. Sometimes I'm a nonbinary man if I feel I can trust them. I'm a girlboy and fagdyke when gender feels like a playground. I'll joke I'm a man on my mother's side and a woman on my father's when discussing my family with others. Sometimes I'm a woman in the sense that it's easier to just let a passing stranger call me "ma'am" when they're just trying to be polite and I'm wearing a skirt and I'll never see them again. Sometimes I'm a man in the way that my facial hair silently tells people that's what I "must" be. I'll be the girl with a mustache if that's what makes a passing child feel better about her own body and the boy with glitter eyes if that's what makes a toddler realize he wants to be pretty too.

I'm just putting things on my body to decorate it in ways I like and my body is an ethically and morally neutral vessel for my self. Gender is situational and conditional and I don't really exist in it at a static gendered point because I think the rules and conditions behind choosing are, frankly, stupid and oppressive.

[ftmtftm]

It's hard to say this without sounding like a right wing dickhead, but the thing about progressive spaces is that they may naturally attract people who are always on the lookout for excuses to start a fight. Like you can find yourself faced with someone whose political outrage is totally justified, and whose humanitarian ideals are right on the money, but simultaneously they are carrying a ton of psychological baggage about being wronged and getting revenge, and they will exploit literally any opportunity to live out this psychodrama with anyone in their line of vision. I have thought of several related anecdotes since I started typing this post, but I'll limit myself to the thing that inspired it, which is that I just visited this ultra-lefty cafe/bike shop/community gathering space where I've heard that the proprietor is constantly in a fight with everyone around her. When I paid for my stuff I noticed that there was no tip option, but I thought I had heard something about this, so I snuck away to look at the website and it made me really glad I didn't ask! I think there should have been a really enticing and exciting way for her to say "I've decided to be the change I want to see in the world, so I'm paying my baristas a full living wage, I'm making sure EVERYONE feels welcome and comfortable here, and I'm selling products I believe in!" -- but instead all the web copy sounded more like "You're either with me or against me, you're a fucking piece of shit asshole if you can't handle the inclusive atmosphere here, and by the way tipping is for fascist cavemen and if you ever try to tip someone you are refusing to relate to them authentically and you are enforcing a dangerous and evil power dynamic that should be purged from human society (so therefore I pay my staff well)." Like everything she stood for was totally agreeable, but why did she have to put it like it was directed at her worst enemy, rather than at the kinds of people she wants to attract? If the word on the street is to be believed, the reason for this posturing is that she spends quite a lot of energy making as many enemies as possible, and she probably likes it that way. I guess I'm just reminding myself, and perhaps others, that while one might think of "politics" as being broadly social and theoretical, no individual can fully separate the political from the intimately personal. Even somebody who seems to want to uplift and protect their fellow humans may be getting some perverse inner satisfaction out of that valiant crusade, and you may never realize it until you find yourself in a confusing fight with them.

[ftmtftm]

"Intersectionality is about intersecting oppression so transandrophobia doesn't exist because androphobia doesn't exist-"

Have you seen the word Butchphobia? Where's the intersection there? Sometimes there's a word for bigotry against a group of people. Just going by how the word operates (transandro-phobia), the word transandrophobia's transfem counterpart would not be transmisogyny, it'd be something like "transfemmphobia" or something, and would mean "bigotry against transfeminine people", and not "an intersection between transphobia and misogyny", which is what transmisogyny means.

There doesn't have to be an intersectional reasoning for the word. It's just a useful word for trans men. That's literally fucking it. All this stupid discourse wouldn't exist if non-transmascs just stopped butting into transmascs' business and trying to control the way they talk about the ways cisnormativity fucks them over.

I think some of you forgot that language is messy and this is by all definitions an argument of pure useless semantics. There are more important things to worry about.

[ftmtftm]

if your feminism doesn't make space in it's theory, or doesn't have the appropriate language, to integrate the living experiences of trans men, transmascs, non-binary ppl, non-passing and non-transitioning trans ppl, intersex ppl, marginalized men and ppl outside of western europe and north america, then your feminism is bullshit and if u pretend it's intersectional you're a fucking clown

u should be mad at the historical exclusion of all these ppl from academical feminist discourse, not at the fact that the internet made all these ppl capable of creating their own language and sharing their experiences. u should be overjoyed, not mad that now all these groups are debunking your half baked theories and refuse to let u talk for them

feminist theory is expanding. and that's good. it's amazing. the fact that this is not celebrated more let's me know that unfortunately many feminists lost the point of feminism somewhere along the way

[ftmtftm]

So, please remember that people can be AMAB & born with a uterus. Don't forget that when you talk about uterus-related healthcare.

And don't forget intersex people often face much different pressures and forms of bigotry relating to their uterus, especially if doctors have decided they aren't "supposed to" have one, and consider it an anomaly.

[ftmtftm]

Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider

[ftmtftm]

I feel like every post that focuses on and celebrates the sexuality of transfems hyperfixates on gock and like. I get it, the majority of transfems are either pre-op or non-op, and yeah those people are so frequently excluded from even being allowed to celebrate sexuality and need representation because, hey, especially for the pre-op folks, that reassurance that you're desirable is needed. I should know, I used to be pre-op and I fucking hated it. I didn't get that reassurance when I needed it most, and I'm damned happy that people who do need it can get it now.

But now I'm post-op and like, what? I just get to feel even more excluded from that sort of celebration? It's mostly just all encompassing, like it is nearly the totality of what constitutes celebrating trans bodies, with a teeny tiny exception carved out for transmasc bodies which I am absolutely not qualified to have an opinion on, not even gonna try, and damn near nothing for post-op transfems.

The thing that gets me the most is porn. Sure, it contributes to the feeling of unwelcomeness that nearly every post that gets slapped across my dash is about The Gock, but I don't seek that out. I'm not out here looking for text posts about how cool gock is, I haven't had one for 7 years. But I seek out porn. And any time I see porn that depicts transfems, even when that porn isn't fetishizing transness, the thing that defines a transfem is her dick. Aside from literally one instance, I never see a girl with a scar on her abdomen, I never see a cross section of a pussy with no womb, I never see someone with two holes and an estrogen patch. It just isn't there.

And on one hand, it feels like I don't deserve to complain, that I'm lucky to have even gotten to have surgery, but on the other hand, fuck you! I get to complain about shit like this, I get to complain that the overall atmosphere of transfem sexuality necessarily including gock, I get to complain that this shit makes me feel like surgery was a mistake even though if I take a couple hours off social media and think hard about it, I don't have any real regrets, I get to complain that when transfem bodies are celebrated, that almost never seems to include my transfem body. I get to complain that trans representation doesn't represent me.

So fuck it. Neopussy Tuesday.

[ftmtftm]

Regardless of how old you are, or how long you've been out, you need to be seeking out and spending time with people who are older than you and / or have been out of the closet longer than you.

If you can't find those people irl, seek them out on social media.

If you can't find them on social media (which, if you're here on Tumblr, should not be impossible, but if you really can't -) seek them out in books. Seek them out in comics. Seek them out in old newspaper articles. Seek them out in digital queer archives. Seek them out in journals. Seek them out in documentaries.

We exist. They exist. We are there. They are there. Learn about us and them. Our lives. How we continue to live if we're still with around and how we died and who killed us if we are are gone.

Queer identity has culture. We have history, living and past. I don't care if you came out at 13 or 53 or 103 - you will always have something to learn from the people who have been living their lives as openly queer longer than you - whether that means they are literally older than you or that they have been out longer (because those things often aren't the same).

[ftmtftm]

Saying “It’s basic feminism” when denying that marginalised men are not offered the same access to male privilege under a white cis-patriarchy is just as stupid as transphobes saying “it’s basic biology” about trans people existing. Like yeah, there’s a reason it’s basic. You haven’t fucking read anything beyond a high school history class about the Suffragettes (and I bet they didn’t say jack shit about Ida B. Wells).