#a little silly but a nice exercise XD

[breadbox-draws]

Jorballin

[imrowanartist]

A silly little thing, based on a thought I had that Price looks a lot younger without his boonie XD

Set in the Rosie AU

Tags: Established PriceGaz, humor, fluff

-

It’s almost noon by the time John picks up Kyle from the base at Credenhill. His partner is later than usual, due to some unforeseen bureaucracy after the training exercises they just finished over several days, but it doesn’t matter. After three days of his absence, John is simply happy to see him again.

Kyle throws his duffel bag in the boot of the car and John smiles at his rearview mirror as Rosie starts wriggling around in her car seat in the back as soon as she realizes that her dad has returned.

John watches as Kyle pulls open the side door first, greeting a laughing Rosie with a kiss on her cheek. After three years, it still manages to ignite a warm feeling in John’s gut whenever he sees Kyle so affectionate with their daughter.

“You’re back!” Rosie proudly states, and Kyle grins at her.

“Hello, Rosie-Bee, did you miss me?”

Rosie spreads her arms as wide as possible and John melts a little on the inside as she proclaims, “Thisss much!”

She’s been getting better with Kyle’s absences. The first time was a struggle for all of them, as both John and Kyle had trouble adjusting to the reversal of their roles after almost three years, and Rosie did not understand why her da was now home all the time and dad suddenly left. The tantrums she threw about missing Kyle were not fun for either of them or her.

They’ve begun to adjust to it, though. And John is starting to understand why Kyle often sounded just as exhausted as he would after a long op. Full-time caring for a toddler is no walk in the park, he has found.

John wouldn’t trade it for the world, though.

Kyle closes the side door again, and slides into the passenger seat next to John, greeting him with a soft brush of his hand to his thigh. They’re still in the base’s parking lot, and public displays of affection have never been their strong suit.

“Was she good?” Kyle asks, and John hums.

“She was,” he says, then turns around to look at their daughter, “weren’t you, Poppet?”

“I was good!” Rosie confirms with a nod, and they both laugh at the way her eyebrows draw together in a serious expression.

The drive home to Gloucester is uneventful. Kyle tells John about the training exercises and how he feels he might be ready to deploy with the 141 again soon. It’s still something that puts John’s stomach in a knot sometimes, but after six months of retirement, he is slowly getting used to the idea of not being in charge of the task force anymore. Soap makes a fine captain, John made damn sure of that before he left. Kyle will be in good hands.

“Can we go to the park?” Rosie suddenly pipes up from the back of the car, once they’re getting close to their apartment. She’s clearly tired of their adult conversation, and John looks at her in his mirror before glancing at Kyle.

They don’t have much more planned for today, and they’ve both talked about trying to spend as much time together as they can, whenever they’re both home.

John knows Rosie has picked up on this too, the clever girl. She knows she’s much more likely to get what she wants when one of her dads has just returned home.

“I need to pick up some packages at the post office,” Kyle says after a beat, “So we might as well?”

“Sure,” John agrees, and can’t help the fond smile as Rosie claps her hands together in excitement.

There’s a playground near their apartment, and the weather is nice enough. Rosie refuses to let go of Kyle’s hand as they walk there, but when she sees some of the familiar neighborhood kids, she raises her eyes to both of them to ask for their permission to go play along.

“Go ahead, Poppet,” John nods, and after some initial hesitance, Rosie skips over to the other kids. Though she’s gotten more comfortable interacting with them, John has noticed she still always makes sure that she can see either him or Kyle.

“You heading across the street?” he asks Kyle,

“Yeah, won’t be long. Soap said he sent some souvenirs from their last op.”

John frowns dubiously at him. “It better not be more bloody socks, we’ve got enough of those already.”

“Well, the way you keep losing Rosie’s-“ Kyle snorts and John grumbles something under his breath before adding, “Not my fault the fucking laundry machine keeps eating them,”

“Yeah, yeah, blame the machine, sir.” Kyle pats his arm, “I’ll be right back.”

John straightens his hat and makes his way to one of the empty benches scattered around the playground. He sinks down on it, nodding politely at some of the other parents around.

Rosie seems to have gotten wrapped up in some imaginary game with rules lost on John, but she’s having fun at least. It does him good to see her interacting with the other kids. He watches her play for a while, content to do so, and almost doesn’t notice it when someone else joins him on the bench.

When he looks up, he sees it’s an older woman, who gives him a kind smile. Pushing down his ingrained distrust of strangers, John opens his mouth to greet her, when he promptly gets interrupted by Rosie scampering her way back over to him.

“I found a rock,” she tells him excitedly, pulling at his hand to open it, “it’s for you!”

John lets her drop the completely ordinary rock in the palm of his hand, then smiles at her. “It’s beautiful, love.”

Rosie giggles at him, very happy with herself, and John caresses her curls for a moment as he thanks her. He tucks the rock in a pocket as she turns around and hops back to the sandbox.

“Your granddaughter is lovely,” the lady next to him speaks up, and John is about to express his gratitude for the compliment when her words register with him.

Of course it’s also the exact moment when Kyle re-appears, dropping some packages on the bench and John swears he has learned to apparate from Ghost. Clearly, he has overheard the old lady too, because as John starts sputtering, Kyle gives his most shit-eating grin before bursting into laughter.

It’s gotta be the fucking hat. Kyle has been telling him for ages that it makes him look older, but he didn’t want to believe it until now.

He drags the boonie off his head, not caring about how his hair looks underneath, and turns to the old lady with what he hopes is a polite expression.

“It’s my daughter, but thank you.” He tells her between clenched teeth.

Rosie has spotted Kyle’s return too, because she happily squeals “Dad!” then scrambles towards him and launches herself into his arms.

The old lady’s eyes flit between John, Kyle, and Rosie in confusion, as she’s now visibly trying to figure out the relationship between them.

“Oh, I’m sorry, dearie,” She laughs, though it’s obviously uncomfortable. Whether it’s because of her error in judgment regarding his age or something else is unclear to John. “You just looked…”

She trails off and John huffs, fiddling with his hat between his hands.

“Well, I wish you all a lovely day,” she says eventually, before getting up and making her tactical retreat toward another bench. John looks at the boonie again, then after a beat carefully folds it and puts it in his pocket.

“Not a word.” he hisses to Kyle, who innocently readjusts Rosie on his hip, still wearing that stupid grin on his face.

“Alright, Grandpa,” he chuckles, and John gives him a flat look that hopefully conveys how much this whole situation displeases him.

“Where’s Grandpa?” Rosie asks, craning her head as she’s confused as to what they’re referring to. John gets up and reaches for her, pleased as she lets herself be transferred from Kyle’s arms to his without complaint.

“Sorry, Poppet,” he tells her, kissing her cheek, “Grandpa isn’t here right now. He’s back in London, with grandma. Your dad is just being silly.” He gives Kyle a look that dares him to argue with it.

“Okay.” Rosie chirps, her attention already having shifted to the packages on the bench. “For me?” She asks.

“Maybe,” Kyle muses, swiping a finger across her cheek, “I’m sure Uncle Soap will have snuck something in for you again.”

“Can’t wait to see what he’s deemed appropriate for her this time,” John grumbles, setting down Rosie again so she can go back to playing. Soap doesn’t have the best track record of getting age-appropriate gifts, something that’s almost become a running joke between them.

Kyle hums thoughtfully. “I think I was wrong. Clearly, it’s not just the hat that makes you old. I think Rosie just drags it out of you too.”

“You better watch yourself, sergeant,” John jokes back, no longer able to keep up his grumpy demeanor, “I might not be your captain anymore, but I can still put you down any time.”

“Yeah?” Kyle asks, stepping closer as he lowers his voice, “Better show me that later then, old man.”

John glances over Kyle’s shoulder, to where Rosie has gone back to happily playing with the other children, then looks back at his partner with a grin of his own pulling on his lips. They may have a kid together, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t missed moments like these.

“Challenge accepted,” he says, then remembers something else very important.

He levels Kyle with his most serious glare, even though he knows it doesn’t work on him anymore. “You better not bloody tell anyone about this.”

“I swear,” Kyle promises, but by the twinkle in his eyes John can tell it’s a filthy lie.

He already knows he’s never going to live this down.

[renohasbigtits]

Oh my goodness those Ignis mpreg headcanons were so well written! I really enjoyed them they were really cute, if ya don’t mind me asking could you do Prompto next? I’ll leave all the details up to you but plz give us more uwu

Mpreg Prompto (Final Fantasy 15 Headcanons)

Omg ☺️ I’m glad you liked the Iggy one. Honestly While making the Ignis one, I was thinking about doing a Prompto Mpreg headcanon but I didn’t think someone would ask for a Prompto one.

But I will give the the people what they want!! PROMPTO MPREG!! Expect this to be very silly 🙃

Idk where this takes place, I’ll leave it to your imagination ;) just know that no ones dead! Yay everyone lives!!

One more thing: this does contain Mpreg (Male Pregnancy. Don’t like? Don’t read! Constructive feedback is welcome!)



• He’s a lot of things (being adorable cinnamon roll is one 🥰) but stupid isn’t one of them.

• he’ll noticed 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 how he’s gaining weight and starts to become more insecure (someone hug him pls)

Minor Warning: mentions of eating disorder habits.

• he starts to exercise more but he pushes himself a little to far of what people consider “Normal” and stops eating around people. That caught Ignis’s eye.

• Ignis motherly instincts kick in (Noct ain’t his only kid ya know) he confronts Prompto’s lack of appetite but Prompto doubles down.

• Ignis asks Noctis to, as his Best Friend, To help Prompto. Noctis goes to talk to his Best Friend.

•Noct tries to talk to Prompto about his excessive exercise and seemingly lack of appetite but Noctis’s awkwardness and his unintentional nonchalant attitude, doesn’t help and Prompto just ignores his friends concerns.

•however, one day Prompto passes out while running and is rushed to the hospital.

•it’s only then, he’s given the shocking news; He’s Pregnant! Not just that, he’s already a month Pregnant!

•he’s in shock and disbelief at first. How could that happ-

•oh yeah he had sex (duh)

•to make a long story short, Prompto was at a party, met someone, was getting along great and...well yeah you guess the rest xD (tbh I’m not comfortable or good at describing sex scenes, so I’m not gonna torture you guys 😅)

•after that, Prompto never saw (or heard) from them again.

•Gladio was like “Welp, it least you got laid!”

• meanwhile Noctis and Ignis: 👨‍🦯👨‍🦯

•Now, in a hospital bed, with the news that he’s Pregnant, Prompto feels alone, confused and scared. So he, reluctantly, turns to his friends for help.

•Noctis jaw was on the floor, he wanted it to be a joke. It wasn’t a joke.

•Gladio was: 📉📈📉📈📉📈📉

•Ignis, being the most calmest and levelheaded, tells Prompto to try to contact the baby’s other parent (can you tell I’m trying to be gender neutral? What can I say I love my he’s, she’s, and they’s 🥰)

•this, however, proves to be a colossal failure, since Prompto doesn’t even remember their name!

•Out of stress Prompto begins to cry :’(

• Noctis finally sees the seriousness of the situation, promises his best friend to help him and be there for him.

•Ignis and Gladio as well! Yay Grandma and Grandpa!...I mean Uncles!!!

•One Month: Prompto begun to eat correctly again. He’s lucky that the baby wasn’t harmed.

•this poor boy...gets sick a lot!!

•morning sickness is his worst enemy!!!

• “Now I know what my Mom went through...”

• he has the most RANDOM cravings...poor Ignis.

•he has to make the weirdest shit for Prompto!

•it least he’s eating it, so it’s worth it...kinda.

•Noctis is very protective of his friend. He knows people can be... judge mental.

•if anyone gives Prompto weird looks or glares.

•Oh Hell No!

•Noctis ain’t having none of it!!

•he’ll glare at them back! “What? What the hell are you staring at?!”

•He almost fought someone.

•Gladio had to stop him, he’s making Prompto cry (and that shit ain’t acceptable)

•Ignis just sighs. (Being a single mother is hard guys)

• Second Month: Prompto’s belly keeps gets bigger. He proud and nervous. He feels like he’s getting fat.

•The Doctor assures him that he’s not getting fat, he’s womb is getting bigger, which means the baby is growing fine.

•plus his friends are the best support system!!!

•lris gets him baby clothes, baby toys, etc.

•you better believe he’s taking pics of his baby bump.

•not just because it’s adorable, but because he wants to document it! He wants to scrapbook it!! It’s one of his biggest projects and he wants it to be perfect!

•Third Month: he has to buy new clothes ;-; he’s already outgrowing the ones he has!

• Prompto’s insecurity: 📈📈📈

•Noctis still tries to fight ANYONE who even looks at Prompto.

•Even Gladio gets annoyed with Noct fighting people and arguing with security to not kick them out.

•”Noct stop trying to fight people or your getting nothing but vegetables!!!”

•oh and you just know Prompto is gonna buy some Chocobo plushies, he’s kid is gonna love Chocobo’s as much as he does!

•55% of the baby supplies is Chocobo related.

•Fouth Month: This is it. He finds out the baby’s gender!

•it takes a while cuz the baby was an awkward position.

•”poor little guy, he must feel uncomfortable as much as I do.”

•”she’s actually a girl, Prompto. Congrats it’s a Girl!”

•”AAHAHAAHAH! IT’S A GIRL!” lris had to scream that where Noctis, Gladio and “I haven’t had my Coffee yet” Ignis could hear.

•THAT’S IT! I’M MAKING IT’S A GIRL CAKE!!

•that’s how they celebrate the announcement of the baby’s gender.

•Noct wouldn’t admit it but he’s really excited to be an Uncle.

•Gladio and Ignis as well.

•however, Prompto does not have much experience with taking care of Babies, so he starts practicing.

•for the next couple months, he training to take care of baby.

•he gets better but he fears he won’t be a good father (or mother) to his unborn Daughter.

•he doesn’t want her to feel what he felt growing up; loneliness.

•he promises her that he’ll never let her feel alone. He wants her feel loved and safe.

Eight Months: She’s already kicking. Literally!

•Seriously, She’s the most active baby the Doctor’s ever seen!

•let’s hope she won’t be too energetic....

•lris decides to make a baby shower for Prompto. The plan is simple:

•Ignis makes the food. (So many new Recipeh’s)

•Noctis keeps Prompto distracted. It’s not that hard as it sounds, he takes Prompto to a Chocobo farm!

•all tho, Prompto can’t ride the Chocobros cause he might fall and hurt himself and his unborn daughter, but he’s really enjoying himself. The plan is going smoothly.

•meanwhile Gladio decorates with the material he’s given because Iris doesn’t trust him to bring his own.

•it’s small and not many people came but hey! It’s the thought that that counts.

•Noct gets a text to bring Prompto to the party. The plan is going great!

•Prompto was so moved by all the hard work and the effort his friends made, that he balled his eyes out.

•it went great! They eaten the delicious food (THATS IT! GRANDMA IGNIS ACTIVITY!)

•the gifts were adorable ☺️

•Noct’s gift (note: lris had to drag Noct to a baby store, so she and Noct could get a gift. Much to Noct’s embarrassment) was Rare Black Chocobo plush!

•it was so cute! (In a dark way)

•Gladio’s was an adorable baby book. (He would have gotten a book about Chocobos but they didn’t have any ;-;)

•Ignis’s was a strange one. It was a coffee maker.

•”Iggy...why would I need this l?”

•”Cause your gonna be up all night.”

•believe me. Ignis knows all to well.

•lris’s gift was an Moogle Plush.

•It went amazing! (Prompto got to take some left overs home)

•Nine Month: The last month. The doctor was put Prompto on bed rest. Don’t walk around too much, try to stay hydrated.

•Noctis has to come over to look after Prompto during the last days of his Pregnancy.

•to say Prompto is nervous would be an understatement!!

•he’s sooo scared to feel what labor is like. He knows it’s extremely painful. Yeah he’s having a c-section but....

•Wait! WHAT WILL THE C-SECTION FEEL LIKE?!?!?

•he wouldn’t have to wait long...

•during the night, Prompto was having a hard time sleeping, due to some back pain (you know where this is going...)

•trying to get up, Prompto feels something wet.

•”NOCT!”

•”what I was drea-“

•”Prompto...did your water break?!”

•”I-I don’t know!!”

•unsure what to do, Noct (panicking) calls Ignis.

•”IGGY! I THINK PROMPTO’S WATER BROKE? MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW!”

•”Noct, how about you call the midwife?” Said Ignis calmly. (Let me know if you got that joke 😉)

•Noct calls the midwife, she tell him to bring Prompto to the hospital.

•(weeeeeeeeee wooooooooooo 🚑)

•They figure out pretty quickly that, the baby is coming NOW!

•poor Noct, sitting in the waiting room with a pajama top on and unclean pants (no shoes btw) hoping that it would go well and nothing happen to Prompto and his niece.

•after for what seems like forever, A nurse comes out with a small bundle in his arms.

•”He wanted you to hold her.”

•Noct was stunned. In his arms with Prompto’s baby girl!

•and she was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen!

•this tiny little thing, has his blond hair, blue eyes, even his freckles! She was the cutest thing ever!!

•Noct even shed a tear. He’s definitely not telling anyone about that.

30 Minutes Earlier

•Prompto just woken up. He passed out after he heard her cries.

•now, waking up; he wants to see his baby girl.

•once he sees her again, he basically falls in love all over again.

•Crying while her eyes were looking at his.

•”Hi there...nice to meet you.”

•She cooed in response. OMG.

•everyone else fell in love with her too.

•”She’s Adorable.”

•”hard to believe she’ll grow up so big.”

•she was basically welcome with open arms.

•over the years, shes basically a mini version of Prompto with a bit of a shy streak.

•he takes so.many.pics that she becomes camera shy.

•She LOVES chocobos and love to ride them with her Daddy ^^

•Noct is basically her second favorite person. She’s almost always falling asleep on him. He’s not complaining tho.

•btw, that Black Chocobo toy? It’s her absolute favorite.

•Ignis has to be her third favorite.

•she always refers to him as Mama Iggy. Much to Iggy’s embarrassment.

•She likes helping him cook. She’s a little mini helper and even passes out food. Ignis greatly appreciates the help.

•Gladio gives the best piggy back rides!

•she helps him a little with his exercise.

•Prompto and his Daughter are the closest you’ll ever see.

•she’s his rock and he’s her Father.

•When he finds out his origins and his “Father” he doubt downs to make sure he’s never like him. Period.

•After Noct disappears, She’s helps him get ready for Noctis’s eventual return.

•while getting stronger herself.

•When Noctis returns (and brings back the light) he’s shocked and happy to see that Prompto’s Daughter, has not changed much (besides age)

•she now helps around the Citadel.

•Prompto? Well

•Prompto is truly great full for having his daughter in his life.

•”Hey D/N?”

•”Yeah Dad?”

•”I love you.”

•”I love you too Dad.”

OMG! I did not expect this to be fucking long! 😅 well I hope I did this Justice. To who requested this, I hope you loved it!

I guess it turned more serious than silly huh? Welp, I still hoped you guys liked it!

Please Reblog!!

[prettywordsyouleft]

Head First

Anonymous said:

Congrats on your milestone. Daring is dangerous Chelle! I dare you to write yourself with Jinyoung and admit that you love him! Everyone knows your hatred is actual love for him! Not a enemy to lovers au like you usually do either. Love from first sight!

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

Genre: love at first sight / office au / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: You know, anon, daring is dangerous. And you didn’t specify who was the one who fell in love first, hehehehe. Prepare yourself for a different Jinyoung – after all, there’s no enemies to lovers au in this XD

Word count: 2742

He didn’t understand why he was like this around you. Jinyoung had always prided himself as someone with tact and was respected by all those he worked alongside. From his university degree to the office, he was known for his tenacity for a productive working environment.

Yet why was he falling head first at your feet every time he crossed paths with you?

“Are you alright, Jinyoung?” you asked with concern, reaching out your hand but he wasn’t going to allow you to help him scrape himself off the ground. He was dumbfounded and frankly mortified to have tripped over, well, his own feet in front of you.

Slipping your hand back to the folders you held in your arms, you smiled weakly, nodding a little as you walked on by. And once you were out of sight, Jinyoung let out a groan, thumping the wall beside him.

Just what was wrong with him when it came to you?

“I did it again,” he admitted with an elongated sigh as his roommate Jackson handed him the ice pack he had requested. Although he had acted as if his clumsy fall at work hadn’t amounted to much during working hours, once he was off the clock, he was all but limping to the underground parking lot. Now sprawled out on the couch with the cooling pack over the affected area, Jinyoung let out another exasperated whine. “Just why do I keep being so clumsy in front of Y/N?!”

“Because you like her.”

“I don’t even know her!” Jinyoung retorted, throwing his hands up in the air. “Unlike you, I can’t even speak more than four words to her without stuttering or ending up injuring myself! This is the third time I’ve embarrassed myself in front of her. The members in my team are starting to talk; soon I’ll be the butt end of every joke at the company!”

Jackson grinned, shrugging a little as he threw back the remnants of some green juice he made as his pre-workout fuel. Jinyoung glared at his friend, he wouldn’t be able to get in a good gym session tonight with how sore his ankle felt and that annoyed him too.

“Maybe next time try and aim to fall on your butt. It’s probably got the most cushion to handle how clumsy you are right now.”

“I’m not amused.”

“Come on, Jinyoung! Just admit it. What was it like when you very first saw Y/N? Sure, she seems nice enough to me, but something had to have happened when you first met her for you to be this messed up. She’s not someone who’s going to turn heads everywhere she goes, that’s for sure.”

Jinyoung sighed; you were definitely average in looks and skills to most people. As an entry-level worker who was older, you had gained attention quickly throughout the office before Jinyoung had first crossed paths with you. Not many were hired so long out of university by the company and so rumours had travelled fast on what your situation was. Unlike the rest, gossiping wasn’t something Jinyoung partook in during his office hours, focused on getting the tasks he needed to be done and in a productive manner.

It was on your third day when he finally met you when you stepped into the elevator he was already on. Not that he had seen you yet, just the enormous stack of papers you carried. “Oh uh, excuse me, could you please push level eight for me? I can’t let this go right now.”

“Done,” he replied after pressing the button. And like he always did for other employees, Jinyoung reached out to help take some of your load. He took half the stack of reports off the top which you started reacting to immediately.

“Oh thank you! I didn’t expect help but it’s so nice to have someone to share the burden with!”

Now with your face exposed from behind the stack of papers, Jinyoung’s stomach lurched immediately. He wasn’t sure why his body was now tingling or what the reason was for how round his eyes had grown at seeing your face. Yet his system had gone into overdrive, his heart now thumping erratically in his chest.

“You’re very kind for helping me,” you continued, leaning around your stack to read his name badge. “Thank you, Park Jinyoung.”

And it was the warm smile you shot him after saying his name that sealed his ill fate, the weight within his arms dropping and scattering over the entire elevator floor. For the first time in his working career, he was openly flustered, attempting to apologise and scrape everything up before the doors dinged open, your smile now weak, restrained. It was a scramble, and he was certain in your eyes he looked like a complete idiot. Jinyoung had managed to pick everything up just in time for the doors to spring open, dashing out of the elevator and then dumping the pile of files on top of the reception counter for the sales office. He couldn’t even remember if he had said goodbye to you, acutely aware of the weird incoherent sound he had made as he sped walked down the hallway to his department.

Your first encounter had been such a mess, and despite all attempts, he had only continued to be flustered and seemingly incapable of being a proper functioning human in front of you.

Jinyoung sighed, shaking his head. “The only thing that happened was I was a complete idiot and I’ve been that way since.”

“Hm, let’s see,” Jackson replied thoughtfully, reaching out to place a solemn hand over his friend’s head. He then jerked it away dramatically and nodded his head in answer. “That’s it, I dub thee lovesick.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Nor is your damsel in distress act whenever you see her. I have to admit, I’m deeply amused. You, of all people, are the last one I expected to become this messy when you have a crush.”

“I do not have a crush!”

“Jinyoung, you basically avoid her at all costs, even I’ve seen you do it. You definitely are feeling something for her.”

“Yeah, continued mortification,” he grumbled, the annoyance he felt sinking his stomach further.

Jinyoung desperately wanted to regain common ground in the very least. His pride and professionalism were at stake the longer you bothered him and he had worked too hard to let it slip away all because of, well, he still wasn’t prepared to claim he had a crush on you. This wasn’t high school and he was a grown man capable of relationships with others.

He would just have to work harder and prove that whatever silly phase he was in would soon pass. Jinyoung was determined to not let you affect him any longer.

His determination was short-lived. The very next day he had locked himself in the supplies closet by accident when he saw you and diverted his path, stepping into the first room he could find. On Tuesday he accidentally split his iced coffee on his brand new shirt when he choked on his straw when you greeted him on passing and by Thursday he could tell you were now uncomfortable to even see him around the office.

He had successfully made you just as awkward as he was.

And when the doors opened to the elevator and showed you he was riding inside, Jinyoung noticed the way you hesitated to step on. Still, you did so and he pressed himself into the wall anxiously, hoping if he stayed away from you and remained silent, this would be the longest time in your company where he didn’t make a complete fool of himself.

Or you.

“Can I ask you something?” you finally said after a minute of travelling in silence and Jinyoung glanced at you quickly, gripping the bar when he felt his heart rate increase. You sighed heavily. “Are you having fun?”

“F-fun?”

“With teasing me. Everyone says you’re one of the best workers here and very diligent. Yet all I’ve seen out of you is… well, are you acting stupid on purpose?”

Great. So now all this had amounted to you thinking he was doing this intentionally. Jinyoung groaned internally at the predicament before moistening his lips in preparation to talk. Right then, the doors sprang open and he sucked in a deep breath of relief seeing Jackson step inside.

“Morning Y/N!” Jackson greeted and then turned to his friend. “What’s wrong with you? Are you hyperventilating? Ah is it because of-”

“Justdropit,” Jinyoung breathed out hastily, uncaring if this was his stop or not when the doors opened again. He dashed out into the hallway and then turned for the door for the stairs, leaning against the wall as he willed himself to take deep breaths in and out.

Just why were you making him so pathetic?

Jinyoung began to take the stairs for everything. It was safer that way, no longer needing to worry about bumping into you whilst he made his way throughout the company building. Sure, it was a downright hassle, and everyone thought he was nuts even when he proclaimed he was using it as exercise since he sat in a chair all day.

Still, it was easier than dealing with his issue with you.

And because of this newfound avoidance tactic, Jinyoung hadn’t seen you for three weeks.

He thought he’d be more pleased about this.

And he was to some extent. No longer did he leave the office kicking himself for being so flustered each day. He didn’t spend his nights ruminating over how he could have prevented an incident with you earlier in the day because he hadn’t had one. And he was much more productive with his work.

Instead, he yearned to break away from this new habit just to see if he was cured of acting ridiculous in front of you.

And he realised he was feeling down because he hadn’t seen you in person.

Which was completely confusing for him. Of all the things Jinyoung wanted to be known for, clumsy and incapable were not it. And yet that’s all you knew of him. Sure, he had tried to change that and then you had come back with thinking his behaviour was intentional.

He hadn’t faced his problem; in fact, he had run from it and that was equally as stupid as before.

Because strangely, he missed you.

Jinyoung couldn’t fathom how he missed someone he didn’t exactly know more than a name about. He understood missing a family member you hadn’t seen in months. Or a friend who moved overseas. A connection that was lost. But he had no relationship with you and seeing you usually gave him anxiety.

Why did he crave seeing you even after establishing you were the cause to all of his incompetence?

This uneasiness compelled him to linger in hallways more than necessary. He slowly started to return to using the elevator. And strangely, he hadn’t crossed pathways with you within an entire week.

“Y/N?” Jackson repeated as Jinyoung enquired about you, and his friend speared a piece of sushi with a chopstick before frowning. “Didn’t you know she took time off? Maybe a week ago she stopped coming into the office. Something about a child needing her? I think she’s a solo parent.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Jackson looked at Jinyoung as if he had sprouted an extra head. “Dude, you were losing it over that girl and specifically preached that I never mention her in front of you. Sue me for actually following through for once.”

Now Jinyoung was foolishly mourning the loss of a potential connection – one that he had been blundering his way through over the past three months.

Turning down the chance to go out with his friends in the weekend, Jinyoung instead went to do the groceries, mulling over the list Jackson had given him and trying to decide if the packet he held was macro and organic or not.

And before he had the chance to move off, a familiar face came into his view, smiling hesitantly at him. “Jinyoung, hello.”

“Y/N, who’s that?” the young teenage boy beside you asked and you brushed the hair away from your face and sighed.

“Jinyoung is someone I used to work with.”

“Was my sister really good at her job?! I keep telling her to go back now that I’m better but she won’t!” the boy implored and Jinyoung merely opened his mouth and then closed it again.

You took that as a sign to move on. “Let’s not bother him anymore, hm? It looks like he’s busy with his groceries.”

Before you left the aisle, Jinyoung spun around, taking in a sharp inhale. “I think I like you!”

“W-what?”

Waiting for you to turn around, Jinyoung gripped onto his grocery cart and nodded. “Actually, I know I do. I wasn’t doing it intentionally. You just made me really flustered, is all.”

“Me?” you repeated, glancing at your brother beside you and then back at Jinyoung. “You were flustered by me?”

“Why not, Y/N? You’re awesome!”

Jinyoung nodded rapidly in agreement, feeling dizzy with the action. He groaned. “You see, I don’t know why you get to me but you have ever since I met you. That’s why I made all those errors. I must’ve looked like a fool in front of you, and I often tried not to. And I’m honestly not this clumsy or ridiculous or pathetic normally. Yet in front of you, it was as if my brain stopped working. I even tried avoiding you, taking the stairs instead so you wouldn’t be burdened by me.”

“So that’s where you disappeared to,” you murmured, your smile growing shy.

“You had been looking out for me?”

Nodding, you chewed at your lip. “I kind of missed you.”

“Just kind of?” your brother chirped and you tried to grab onto his mouth to silence him. “If this is the guy who you kept complaining about, then you definitely have missed him. She’s been moping. Take her back to work, please. I’m honestly okay now!”

“Why don’t you go find us what’s left on the list and I’ll pretend I didn’t see the cookies you slipped into the cart earlier,” you bargained, handing the shopping list over to your brother and then clasped your hands in front of you as he went off eagerly. You let out a small laugh. “I guess I missed you more than I wanted to admit. Which is weird right? Because I only know your name.”

Jinyoung shook his head, smiling broadly. “No, I missed you too.”

“You did?”

“My buddy Jackson believes in love at first sight and I always told him that was nonsense. But I can’t think of any other reason as to why you have stirred my life up completely. And sure, love is a bit… well, I wouldn’t go as far to say I love you because all I know about you is your name and that you have a brother. But I’m ready to find out more if you are. This could be the start of love, at least.”

“I didn’t take you for such a romantic,” you teased, though you nodded lightly, your blush indicating just how affected you were by his admission. “And maybe it’s lust at first sight?”

“It’s something,” he admitted with a chuckle and you giggled in response.

Which promptly turned his legs to jelly and he had to crouch before he fell to the ground. Looking up at you exasperatedly, you stooped down to his level, grinning at him happily. “I’m looking forward to getting to know more about you Jinyoung, but could you stop falling at my feet? You make me feel bad because normally it’s me who is incredibly clumsy and in front of you, strangely I’m doing better than I thought. Maybe this is some sort of love.”

You held out your hand and he finally took it, the warmth radiating up his arm making him bury his face in his free hand with how foolish he was acting. Still, he didn’t let you go and you made no attempt to do so either.

“Try to have some patience with me as I combat this, please?”

“With how adorable you’re being towards me, I could wait forever if you needed me to.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

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[flannelshirtandjeans]

I don’t really use my main blog for much anything anymore, other than random reblogs, so I’m gonna ramble here quick about something I’ve been doing for the past month and have a lot of feels about which is: YOGA.

(my cat still joins me in this a lot. Also heyyy look at my ghoul arm)

So, a little over a month ago I started something that I kinda periodically start and never finish: a sportsy challenge. This was inspired by me and mom doing one (1) Yoga for Beginners youtube yoga when I was visiting, and when I got home I just kinda... went from there because I actually did like it, and thought it’d be a gentle way to introuce some physical activity into my daily life! Outside of circus I don’t really do much of that! I don’t enjoy a lot of sports, because I’m about like zero percent competitive, and zero percent interested in team sports (usually as a result of point the one), and have negative 50% interest in just going to the gym to do some reps or run on a treadmill, all those things SUCK for me. xD I’m mostly interested in exercise where you can do the things just for fun (like badminton or tennis with family where we don’t even count points), there’s room for improvement and learning increasingly difficult things AT YOUR OWN PACE so you don’t get intimidated from the get-go, there’s plenty of stuff to do at all levels, and doesn’t involve me getting so winded I feel like I’m gonna pass out. And yeah, where you’re not being TESTED FOR ANYTHING. I DON’T ENJOY THAT. So like, a lot of 

So like, yoga is pretty ideal. I can do it at home, Adriene from Yoga with Adriene is a dork and really supportive of doing stuff at your own level and to the best of YOUR particular ability, I am being challenged but not too much, and if I’m not ready for that challenge, I can do something else, and so on! Also important: I can pull back and choose not to do poses that feel like they’re gonna hurt my spine, which is a bit of a problem for me because of how tight my thighs and hips are, but so far so good!

I started THIS challenge, and have since missed maybe like five days because of illness or bad stomach days, but have done every single one (except the last, that’s tomorrow), and honestly miss NOT doing it when I don’t take the time to do a little yoga each day? UNTHINKABLE TO PAST ME. I’ve even done some like extra practices, like bedtime yoga or relaxation yoga, or whatever else!

In the beginning, I was very tight EVERYWHERE because I hadn’t done much during the summer, or tbh in the spring either, the spring was mostly characterized by GASTRITIS lmao. Slowly that’s been improving, and I can definitely see some changes in what I can do now, 29 days of yoga later! I can sit on my heels with my toes tucked under me without dying (immediately), my yogic squat is much much better than it was in the beginning, and my forward folds have really gotten better, even if I still can’t do them well seated or my spine starts dying, I have learned to stay in crow pose for like seven long breaths (when my cat doesn’t bite me or push me over). I think my posture has improved? As much as my just kinda static arm strength and stuff.

This has tricked me into actually wanting to do planks and pushups and stuff on my own so I’ll be stronger. xD

I just. have a lot of feelings about this, like I’ve NEVER stuck this long with any exercise challenge, and after the 30 days is done, I’m not gonna stop there, I’m gonna keep going, get a good yoga mat and maybe a yoga block (which, at first I was like PSH blocks, what’s the point, but after using a book as one, they’re actually really helpful in deepening a stretch), and just. go on a journey that’s just. learning about my body, taking care of it, and being forgiving about its flaws and tight spots and silliness, and just embrace learning things at my own pace. It’s felt really good, and I’m very thankful for this experience.

It’s also been good for the gastritis stuff btw! I still get bad burpy days occasionally but I’ve very rarely had to stop what I’m doing in the middle of yoga because it feels bad - if anything, I’ve often felt like doing yoga has pushed the symptoms aside for a while, so that’s been really nice!

This has been my ramble about yoga. I still feel a little weird about talking about it because I don’t see myself as the kinda stereotypical yoga person, but it’s. been really nice.

Least favorite poses so far: half moon (mostly because I JUST CAN’T DO IT xD), warrior 3, happy baby (because it has big potential to Fuck my Spine), sitting forward folds Favorite poses: downward dog (surprisingly), triangle, extended child’s pose, reclining cobbler’s pose, supported side plank, MANY MANY MANY

ETA: also! I forgot, but like. this has been also good for sort of. reclaiming my body after having no control over it for months and months because of the gastritis, with the unwilling weight loss etc. I’m in control of what I’m doing with my body here, and that Helps with my complicated body image rn. xD

[chuuulip]

Favorite Record

Chapter One

This is posted for Hannah’s @kentuckybarnes 3k Writing Challenge

I’m also taking the rockstar!au when Bucky is the hot and sexy bassist xD This is also gonna be my first time writing a series (it will be just short one thou) and if everyone is kind enough to give me a comment or feedback, I will really appreciate it. Shout out to the lovelies @bucky-at-bedtime for beta’ing this and @bybibucky for answering my questions hehe.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warning: I guess nothing?

Summary: You never fond of Natasha taste in music but you always giving it a try, but maybe you had enough.

‘sentence that bold and italic is in russian but i just wrote it in english, i know i am lazy’

***

The ride to the heart of New York City never bored you. You like to see the colorful lights, despite the busy traffic. "Relax, Malyshka, the concert we’re watching tonight isn't like the last one."

"Oh, you better choose a decent one, Sestra. I still love my auditory apparatus."

Natasha snorted at your response. "That was one time. You need to go out from your cave often Stark."

Natasha can help but chuckle when seeing your lips curve, pouting at her. "It's not my fault that I found your taste of music horrendous."

"That's what happens if you lock yourself in your room for too long. Ok, we arrived malyshka, come on, move your ass."

"Tasha, language!"

The car stops in front of a building that color look between yellow and cream. There are two prominent windows in an almost octagon shape decorating the wall. In the center there’s a long half-round window that ornates with asymmetrical crisscross metals, giving it an oldish look.

"What time do you need me to pick you up Ms. Stark and Ms. Romanoff?"

"Don't worry we can use an Uber, Happy. Natasha is here, so father won't mind."

"OK ladies, have fun on your Saturday night! Don't drink too much."

"Aye aye, Happy! Now let's get inside."

Natasha pulls you to the entrance. A tall man, with a white button up and a khaki pants is waiting outside. His light brown eyes and brown hair shine under the building lights. He gives you the pass for backstage entry. Both you and Natasha thank him and follow him inside.

"The others are getting ready right now so I suggest you and your friend wait till the show ends?”

"Don't worry Matt, we are here basically just to enjoy the show." You can help but rolling your eyes at Natasha’s bubble gum intonation. "I am just here for some moral support."

"Malyshka, behave."

Matt chuckles at the light-hearted banter. "You’ve brought someone interesting tonight Nat."

"Thank you, I’m flattered,” you smirk, and Matt is taken aback when you bow a bit at him.

"You are definitely fascinating," Matt says, blatantly smirking at you. "Have fun and enjoy the show! Meet you two at the after party." He suddenly disappears through the crowd, you assume he was probably the PR or the manager.

With Matt disappearing to the opposite side, Natasha leads you to the second floor. The view from this level quite giving you the full image of the interior. The building itself was quite spacious with a tall stage situated on the center at the far end, across the long half round window. Some instruments like drums and keyboard were already on stage. Black velvet fabric with a gold accent was draped on each side of the stage with a wide white glossy screen behind it. One by one, a group of people, women and men, ventured into the building, crowding the empty space in front of the stage. A group of young girls, probably in their late teens were chatting loudly nearby, gushing about how all the members in the group are super handsome and talented.

Not long after the building was full, the black and gold backdrops starting to descend, covering the front part of the stage. The loud cheers from the people downstairs start to echo, which follows by the crowd upstairs. You tap your heels enthusiastically, excited to see these musicians that occupied Natasha’s playlist all the time.

Natasha’s constant excitement and how she is always too engrossed when talking about the band had raised your suspicion that she might hook up with one of the members.

All the lights suddenly turn off, the disparate hue of the stage light illuminated the building.

"We are The Howling!" a tall broad man with a blonde hair and blue eyes were suddenly jump to the stage, yelling their band name. A loud 'yeah' was an echo in the building. The cyclorama with red, green and blue that mixed with several spotlights giving an unbelievable eye-catching look of the stage in general. It also brings the focus to all the members on stage, who are getting ready in their respective position while strumming their instruments.

"Are you ready to Howl?!”

You can't help but snort at that one.

"YEAH!!!" The crowd shamelessly scream as the vocalist warm up the concert.

With "One...two...one...two...three go!" The guitarist starts a simple rhythm of their first song. The drums and the bass begin to kick in while the keyboardist puts his hands up in a 'jump in' motion, waiting his turn. The music was loud but surprisingly not unpleasant. Most of the time, you have problems with Natasha’s taste in music but this seems to be one you can certainly tolerate.

The floodlights shower through the audience but it was suddenly off and the lighting mode switched to profile on one of the members at the right of the stage. The unmistakable bassist wearing a black shirt that had to be a couple of sizes too small for him with washed denim jeans. Brown hair styled in a lower bun with several whips of hair loose around his face. The thing that drew your attention to him most, was the hue of his 5-string electric bass.

The solo moment wasn't that long if you recall correctly. The bassist shamelessly shows off his ability with all his fingers between the frets. Digits dance between the strings, up and down the neck. His plucking produces a great and clean sound. He might be a little bit giddy when transposing the riff base, but in a whole it was excellent. His steady fingers and endurance might be the result of good exercise, either with his hands or other parts.

You have been captivated by the short funky flow of his solo and you can't help but wonder the rest of the band's song. Rock music wasn't so bad, in fact, you love alternative, but you never let Natasha know that.

The band 'Howling' play a total of 10 songs, with one new song that they introduced as the last track. The song will be their newest single that will be released next week when their North American tour starts kicking. Following the end of the show, all the band members thank the crowd for attending their limited gig.

***

"For The Howling, cheers!" The blonde vocalist and the rest of the members were celebrating with beers. Bottles clinking and cheering didn't stop within them. After the end of the show, Matt texted to invite you and Natasha to go backstage. "We are having a private after party in the bar just a block from here." which now is exactly where you and Natasha are, nursing a bottle of beer, although Natasha prefers something stronger.

Another blonde man with spiky hairstyle was getting closer to where you and Nat sat. "Nat. Sorry, we’re kind of full of ourselves." He chuckles at that, while Natasha displays that adorable pout of hers. 'Oh, he is the one that Natasha has been seeing' you realize.

"Malyshka, this is Clint Barton, Clint this is my precious baby sister." You can help but express disbelief at Natasha endearment. By far, Natasha just 2 years older than you but sometimes she acts like you are a 5-year-old kid, she likes to baby you.

"Hi Clint, nice to meet you." You shake Clint's hand and introduced yourself to him.

"I am the guitarist, but I bet you’ve seen that already."  

You nodded at that, "speaking of which, you played a great melody on the show."

Clint beam at the comment. "Nah, I still need to improve my skills,” he said, "let me introduce you to the others."

Clint dragged you to the center of the bar and taps the other blonde on the group. "So this is Steve, our vocalist." a massive man with blue eyes and blonde hair, that you recognize from the stage, smiles warmly at you.

"Hi, I’m Steve Rogers, but everyone just calls me Steve." He gives you a firm shake and hugs you with his right arm.

"I hope you enjoyed our show."

"I did." You reply to him while introducing yourself. "Although, it seemed like you hadn't warmed up your voice when you started the show." some blushed crept up on Steve cheeks and neck. You cursed yourself a bit, way to be friendly to someone you just met.

"Yeah." Steve rubbed the back of his neck. "Tonight was our first jam after a year. I might sound a little rusty but thank you for your concern."

"You need to stick up with your routine, we don't want anything to happen to our captain." Clint chimed in.

"Captain?" left eyebrow arched at him.

"He is the leader of the band," Clint added, still sipping his beer.

"I know it sounds silly. They used that to mock me" Steve added and chuckle at that. "Don't mind Clint. Here, meet Sam Wilson."

A tall man with a dark skin approaches you. He has this goofy smile on him and you can't help smiling at him back.

"And Scott," another man with a black hair and a silly smile approaching you. He was the keyboardist on the band. "I guess Bucky was in the restroom, he was here before."

"It's ok, Steve. I can catch up with him later"

"If he acts like douche, just tell me, I will knock his head off," Sam says, bad-mouthing this Bucky.

"Don't worry Sam,” you chuckled, “I am a good fighter."

You actually have a really great conversation with Sam and Scott. Scott tells you that he has a young daughter name Cassie and he would love to learn how to braid her hair like yours.

"Oh, there he is. Buck!" Steve yells at Bucky, he looks like he just comes out of the back bar.

"Nat brought her friend with her." Steve introduced you to him. Bucky was more than 6 feet tall, as broad and big as Steve although he was the very opposite of him. If Steve was smile and sunshine, Bucky is quiet and has that melancholic broody look on him, like the moon on a cold night.

"Hello." You introduce yourself and shake his hand. He has big calloused hands, rough from the guitar strings, and long fingers that swallow your own.

Gone was the quiet melancholic look on him when he saw you gushing about how well he played on stage.

“I think from all the music tonight, the last track was without a doubt, the best.”

Bucky just smiles, wide, tongue licking his upper lips after he drinks the beer while looking at you.

“Tasha!” Bucky was yelling at Natasha who is in conversation with Clint and Sam. Natasha arched her eyebrow at Bucky, a question written on her face.

“You bring a nice catch tonight.” You’re confused as to why Bucky suddenly speaks Russian to Natasha.

“I told you I don’t need a new girl, but thanks anyway, looks like I am going to have a fun night with her.”

You are stunned, angry of the thing he accused you to be,

You slap Bucky hard on the face.

"How very well dare you!" Face reddened because everyone eyes were focused on both you and Bucky now.

"Let me get this straight. You" fingers jab at his chest.

"are" jab

"nothing more" more jab

"than a douche wagon." final jab.

"And I am not, in the slightest, interested in being bedded by you." if the eye can curse someone to stone, that’s probably what would happen to Bucky right now.

He looks at you with wide eyes, horrified. Never in the slightest, he ever thinks that you understand Russian.

“Thank you for the beer.” You take your pursed and stomp out from the Bar. You regret ever coming to a gig, yet again.

"Malyshka, wait!"

"Way to ruin the mood, Barnes." Natasha huffed and strolls off from the party to follow you after giving Bucky the stinky eyes.

***

..........

[nosleepuntilvacation]

3, 7, 22, 23, 48, 50!

This post ended up being really long, so… answers below the cut!

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic? 

So far, I’m really proud of how The Most Glamorous Puzzle of All is turning out; it’s giving me exercises in character development, and I can write in a lot of different styles depending on the prompts and what I choose to do with them. As the summary for that fic mentions, chapters can be anywhere between silly, angsty, and fluffy. Also, I’m having fun seeing how these two work together, both as friends and as a couple - and hey, it’s Papyton fluff, and it’s really hard to go wrong with that, in my opinion!

As for my oneshots, I really like a lot of them, but I can’t help but feel proud of With You in My Sights for condensing the development of the relationship into six brief scenes and still having it come out with nice pacing (at least in my opinion).

(I’m also quite proud of some of my NSFW fics, but given that they’re… well, NSFW, I’d rather not discuss them on this blog, since I’m trying to keep it family-friendly over here. I do have a NSFW sideblog, but so far, all I’ve done over there is publish links to my fics with the occasional text post about one of them.)

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)? 

I know I want to see Glamorous Puzzle completed with all 100 chapters, but I also really want to publish more chapters for my pro wrestling AU Contendertale; I have lots of worldbuilding planned for that fic, and it’s gonna be really cool! (At least, I hope…) Also, I hope to publish more chapters to my Undertale/Mother 1 crossover Sing a Melody of Determination someday, though I think I may need to rewrite that one a little; back when I wrote it, I was still open to referring to Frisk and Chara with non-canon pronouns, but now that I’ve changed my mind about that and started referring to them exclusively with their canonical they/them pronouns, I think I should edit the story accordingly before I continue. I do have lots of cool plans for that fic, too…

(Also, I should get off my lazy behind and finally finish the final chapter of Frisk and Asriel’s Special Day; I’ve already written most of it, but I just have a little more that I need to finish.)

Heck, maybe someday, if I ever return to the Digimon fandom, I could finally finish my fic Heroes Wear Green; I may need to do a little tweaking here and there, but I had so many awesome plans for that story, and I don’t want them to go to waste (but at the same time, I’m reluctant to hand any of my stories off to anyone else). That being said, given that I’m not anywhere near as much into Digimon as I used to be, it might not happen anytime soon; besides, I still have all those cool Undertale stories to finish.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed? 

Well, for starters, several months ago when I published a little story about Mettaton going stargazing with Papyrus and asking him a certain question, the very same person who sent this ask left a nice review for that fic; given that I’d read a number of his fluff pieces and liked them (though I was kinda shy about leaving kudos or reviews at the time), as well as him being a popular Papyton writer, my thought process was pretty much “wait, you think my stories are good? Wowie!” In general, whenever a popular Papyton author leaves a nice review on my work, it gives me a “whoa!” feeling because their work probably inspired mine, even if only in the slightest of ways.

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten? 

It’s hard for me to pick just one, so here are just a few of my favorites (note: some of these are just excerpts from longer reviews):

you had me at “tooth-rotting fluff” in the tags. I love this stuff, it feels utterly soul-cleansing. -review for The Joys of Sleeping In (look familiar?)

[…]And I always look forward to reading this book, every time I see there’s a new chapter, I must admit, I squeal a bit xD-review for chapter 42 of Glamorous Puzzle

[…]“Who the hell am I?

I AM hell” I swear to God that was the greatest thing I’ve ever read! -review for chapter 43 of Glamorous Puzzle, from the same reviewer directly above, referring to a quote in that chapter that I was hoping people would like, since I’m proud of that quote as well.

[…]I can’t believe I missed so many good NoSleepUntilVacation stories!  I need to catch up![…] -review for A Cool Day for a Cool Dude; this one made me feel like “whoa, my work is that good?”

There were a couple of other ones for one of my NSFW stories, and while both are too long to be posted here, they both warmed my heart to a huge degree (hint: one of them should look quite familiar to the person who sent this ask!)

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

I prefer to keep my fanfic life and my IRL life separate, since there are people in my life who I would prefer didn’t know about this hobby of mine, for various reasons. Since a lot of what I write involves a slightly niche pairing, and some of it is NSFW, and the vast majority of my writings are Undertale (a controversial topic in several circles), I’m kinda nervous about bringing it up. I have met some Undertale fans in real life, though, but given that they were my classmates in team projects, we didn’t really talk about Undertale as much as we talked about the assignments we were doing.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

The thing about writing fanfic (for me at least) was that I had to write quite a few duds before I struck gold. And back in my earliest days, I wrote a lot of duds; it’s for this reason that I often feel unsure about ever returning to the Digimon fandom, since a lot of what I wrote was mediocre at best and disgraceful at worst (characters in-name-only, lots of lolrandom humor, the heroes looking like total dorks because I was in a phase of liking the villains the best - all while removing the traits that made them villains, etc.) and it was only around the time shortly before I left the fandom that I really started to take my writing seriously. It may be hard for me to think of some of the characters (both heroes and villains) without thinking of how I horribly mangled everything about them for some cheap attempts at “comedy”.

So that’s the negative side of my fanfic writing; now onto the positive! Since starting this hobby, I’ve slowly become more confident in expressing myself, and I’m believing in my own writing skills more and more. Also, knowing that a story of mine could be the thing to brighten someone’s day (as shown in some of the reviews I quoted above) is always a good motivator. Especially since a lot of what I write is close to my heart; it’s stuff that I would like to read myself. Another big thing is that, when I was younger, I was hoping to become a good artist so I could animate cartoons; I never quite got the hang of the intricacies of drawing, but I’ve noticed that my writing has definitely gotten better, so I’ve realized that maybe, just maybe, this is where my true talent lies.

And, of course, I’ve made a lot of friends (and, at one point, even found love) through both reading and writing fanfiction, and while not all of those friendships have lasted (sadly, the romantic relationship didn’t last, either), the people I’ve met because of this hobby are still very special to my heart. I think it’s safe to say that I owe a lot of my friendships, directly or indirectly, to my fanfic writing; given that, when I first started out, I was - in real life - the shy, easily-startled girl who got bullied a lot, it was much easier for me to let my guard down around people who didn’t know my IRL identity. Even though my situation has gotten better since then, I still find it easier to make friends online than in real life, since I’m more likely to find people who share common interests, like Undertale or favorite bands… or fanfiction!

[edgeofthedales]

darrowbyeightfive in response to this reblog (wouldn’t an alternate cricket outfit been lovely for the Fifth Doctor)

I’m not sure whether the trousers represent something that was popular at some time in the past. I always assumed that they had just made them up because they thought the stripes and colours looked nice. I believe that he cut of the trousers, with the high waist (as seen on Planet of Fire) is typical of Victorian or early 20th Century men’s fashion, although I don’t know enough about fashion history to be able to say this for sure. It seems a flattering sort of cut. I do remember when I was a kid, there were still elderly gentlemen around who wore high-waisted trousers and braces (suspenders). Most of them were considerably rounder in figure than Peter Davison!

I also like the trousers and the general colour scheme of Davison’s costume. I agree that there needs to be at least some element of eccentricity to make it Doctorish. Since he’s a gentler, less forceful Doctor who sometimes struggles to impose himself on the people they meet, he does need something with a bit more impact than just the cricket whites, now I come to think of it.  I did like the way that there just happened to be a cricket pavilion (with notices and what looks like other people’s gear) in the TARDIS. It’s so typically Doctor Who because (a) it’s totally way-out in the context of the story - who were all these other cricketers anyway, and what were all their notices about? and (b) the scene was probably filmed at the cricket club that one of the production team belonged to and cost next to nothing!

They do seem to have picked colours that suited him, and he probably was lucky to take the job not long after Brideshead Revisited had been really popular, because, as you say, he got a nice costume rather than some of the over-the-top 80s gear. Maybe the over-the-top stuff came later in the 80s. I do feel sorry for Colin Baker and his companions having to wear such garish outfits. I find Sylvester McCoy’s costume nicer, although I think the question marks on all three of their costumes are a bit silly. I much prefer it when the Doctor’s clothes look like an eccentric combination of human clothes, rather than a ‘costume’. It’s nice that they have gone back to this in the new series. My favourite Doctor costume is Jon Pertwee’s, with those fantastic velvet jackets and shirts.

Davison’s costume was better than the next two Doctors’ in this respect apart from the question marks and the fact that he and his companions never seemed to change for the first season! There is the inevitable “when did they (the characters) wash their clothes/didn’t they get smelly?” question, and I wonder whether the actors had multiple identical outfits, because they too might have got a bit smelly after spending several hours recording and running around under studio lights! I saw on a Sherlock making-of that Benedict Cumberbatch had three identical copies of his long coat, one of which was used for stunts, but I think the Sherlock budget must be a lot higher than the Doctor Who one in the 80s. So overall I do like Davison’s costume a lot but I just wish there had been a little more variation because it would have been fun to see him in other outfits too. I particularly like his coat and was really happy to see that it was authentic-ish. I would happily wear a coat like that myself and do actually have a winter coat that’s just a little bit like it and has red piping around the pockets and cuffs, although it’s dark blue rather than beige. It does have a lovely ‘swish’ (I realised some time after writing it that the ‘Tristan strutting around the TARDIS in the Doctor’s coat’ scene was based on me and how happy I was when I got my new coat!)  I even like the clown costume from Black Orchid that everyone else apparently hates, because Peter looked so cute as a kind of ‘Pierrot’ (was that deliberate, I wonder? Maybe there is a whole level of symbolism in Black Orchid!) and I thought it was amazing that they put pockets in it (what would have have done with his hands otherwise?).

I do wonder at times if part of the reason why he ended up with a more straightforward historical outfit was because he had been on some historical shows (the lesser known, Love For Lydia and the very well known ACGaS) and thus there was this subconscious decision to continue with that trend. Ok, that might not have been the driving reason behind the cricket costume, but I also doubt that it escaped anyone’s notice that Davison does look good in period dress.

I guess I would lump the Doctor having a cricket club in the TARDIS under the same file as the swimming pool. XD You never know when you might need alternate forms of exercise besides running down corridors....

But yes, I agree that the softer color palette suited him well (much like how the cream colored Fair Isle sweater is so lovely on Tristan) and those extra “dramatic” touches ensured that it remained Doctorish and not “the Doctor is on a weird cricket kick”. I mean, that seems strange to say, but I honestly think that making it a more bizarre cricket costume made it so that you didn’t always think of it as specifically a cricket costume....if that makes sense. XD

And yes, I always regret the costume they gave Colin especially for his Doctor. The Sixth Doctor is one of my two favorites (the other spot belonging to Patrick Troughton’s Second Doctor) and I get a little sad when people focus on that outfit first...and to the point of distraction from the depth of Colin’s Doctor.  McCoy’s outfit wasn’t at that level of eye-pain, but I still don’t know if his outfit “suited him” as much as Davison’s did for Five.

I guess I’ve always thought that the TARDIS made extras of everyone’s outfits. XD And that the laundry machine was going at all times.....

And I agree that the costume Five was given to wear in Black Orchid was great. I mean, it was the same muted colors as his normal outfit and were still flattering for Davison. 

And of course, they had to put in pockets for Davison’s hands. It’s an absolute must for his signature acting quirk. Although, the more I watch (and re-watch) ACGaS, the more I’m convinced that he might have gotten some inspiration for his trademark “hands-in-pockets acting” from elsewhere....

[ac-ars]

What if we dance tonight?

this is such a mess and it’s probably third version of it, but whatever xD

this is for my yaz @unteventful bc ily

i hope you guys like it

other ficweek fics

Day 4: “You noticed me standing off to the side instead of dancing, and I told you that I can’t dance but you just gave me the flirtiest smile and said that you’d teach me, and who am I to refuse?”

What if we dance tonight? 

Luna has learned to love faculty parties with time since she started her studies. Her friends keep dragging her there every single time one is organized so she doesn’t really have any other way out of this except attending them and enjoying as much as it’s possible. If it’s not for Simón or Ámbar (who always crash with her, but not today, today they are on a date), it’s for Luna’s group friends, because all of them got a plan to set her with someone finally. She usually doesn’t mind; it’s silly in this cute way even if she gets absolutely nothing except guys wanting to talk between classes next few days.

The only thing she does mind is when her friends make her drink with them just to dare her to do stupid things like getting free drinks from older students.

Today though they did beat their own records when someone (Luna doesn’t remember who now since she was too outraged by this at first) told her that no matter what she wouldn’t go to Matteo Balsano and talk without making a fool out of herself.

And who is she to say no after those three or four drinks she has already had?

Luna’s desk friend pushes into her fingers small glass for her to have quick shot, completely aware of ridiculousness of this situation and Luna is pushed out of their little circle.

Lights are flashing with all colors and music is definitely too loud; Luna can feel it in her ribs.

She spots him by the wall with glass in his hand as he’s looking around wearing this small smile and Luna feels suddenly weak.

Everyone attending their faculty knows him, usually smirking in this a little snobbish way at every single person, sometimes having ton of papers in his hands yet he still manages to look flawless even with a pen behind his ear and glasses. Luna has always wondered if he’s aware of the fact that most girls from their faculty are crushing on him. She, of course, is one of them, it’s not surprising at all; she hates this hopeless crush though, and hates knowing the fact it would be impossible to do anything with it. The only thing she decided to do is staring at him using every chance she gets.

Sober Luna would never take a risk of acting stupid in front of him, because he seems to like her despite the fact they talk only about uni or class stuff and she doesn’t want to lose at least this. Now she hates herself and the alcohol for moving her legs before the brain manages to think.

In a blink she finds herself in part of the place he embraces with his eyes, and when he spots her the smile on his face gets a little wider.

Her knees tremble as she waves in this totally lame way before making few steps towards him feeling his eyes on her body. If she were more drunk she would say that he’s checking her out, but she is not and this is Matteo Balsano out of all people.

He must notice Luna is actually approaching him and he frowns a bit emptying his glass quickly. Luna just takes small sip and smiles awkwardly stopping few steps away from him.

“Hi.” Only leaves her mouth as she has no idea what to say. Her eyes scan him in one second when she manages to do it with decent consciousness. He’s wearing black dressing shirt and black jeans. Very fresh if you know that he keeps wearing white shirt daily and never really jeans. He also doesn’t have a tie, first buttons of his shirt are undone and she wants to undo the rest (just for science). Luna needs to note in her head that never even look at Balsano when she’s having alcohol in her blood.

“Hi,” Matteo answers with a chuckle letting Luna know he won’t make it any easy for her. Like he ever does anything to actually do stuff faster.

“How are you?” she asks bouncing on her feet noting in her head that they played her favorite song already for the third time and his eyes are on her whole body again. She blushes, but it’s dark enough for him not to see it, or at least she hopes that.

“I’m very fine, you?” He raises his eyebrows at her waiting for an answer.

Luna sighs not controlling herself apparently when it comes to him. “I’m great, am I interrupting you or something?” She bites her lower lip softly bringing his look to it, bathe immediately shakes his head.

“Not at all, I was a really a little bored so I’m glad you are here,” he says casually, probably not aware of the fact Luna’s heart just stopped.

“Well, then bless those bastards,” she mutters under her breath but he catches it.

“What bastards?” Matteo looks amused as Luna rolls her eyes at herself yet giggles.

“The ones from my group. I’m here because of them. You know, when someone tells you that you wouldn’t, the only thing you can do is show them that you actually would.”

Matteo sighs resigned, the smile still present on his face. “I hope you are aware of the fact it was just a provocation, right?” He asks throwing a look around the place. Luna focuses on his lips and the way they are moving and she wants him to talk to her forever. This voice is already making her shiver. Damn, it’s even worse when she was drinking. That’s it.

Luna officially hates alcohol.

“Of course I am, Matteo, but that’s very serious deal; they wouldn’t let me leave if I didn’t.” She answers and her reply is dramatic enough for Matteo to notice this drink she has in her hands now it’s not her first.

“Luna, are you drunk?” He tries to look serious, but tone of his voice betrays him.

“Just a little tipsy,” Luna mumbles with another giggle.

He shakes his head and takes the glass out of her fingers. “You will thank me for that tomorrow.”

“It’s mine, give it back. You can get your own alcohol.” She whines and pouts like a kid who just lost it’s favorite toy. Her tries of getting her glass back don’t success when he raises his hand and she can’t reach it even on her tiptoes.

“No, Luna, as long as you’re here with me, you’re not getting more. I can get you water or something else alcohol free, that’s all.”

“Don’t take it to yourself, but I don’t trust you that much.” She keeps pouting even if a smile keeps trying to crack its way to her lips.

Matteo laughs and Luna relaxes at the sound, feeling probably much more comfortable than she should ever be next to him. He’s never laughing like this when they see each other at uni, but usually he has more important things to do than messing around.

“Such a smart girl. I’m really glad you are not that drunk. And that you won’t end up making out with some random guy.” His voice seems bright when he says that and yet she is sure that it was serious.

“Don’t worry, with a babysitter like you I won’t do anything I shouldn’t.” Luna giggles at him.

“I’m not old enough to be your babysitter, little lady. Also I’m definitely not experienced enough.”

“That depends, if you want to be my babysitter, I guess.” Luna jokes standing by the wall next to him; her back touches cold wall and her arm is pressed against his, yet neither of them minds.

“I don’t really want to.” Chuckle leaves Matteo’s mouth as he says that looking at her, his eyes sparkling with something and it makes her grin bigger.

Luna blinks watching him. “Can I ask you something?”

Matteo stares at her face carefully letting Luna see how close they are when he answers. “You just asked.”

Before Luna gets what he said he bursts with laughter and she opens her mouth offended.

“Okay, okay.” He raises his hands. “You can, but don’t look at me like this.”

Valente shakes her head trying to focus. “Why are you here alone?”

Matteo shrugs, brushing the fabric of his shirt with Luna’s arm softly. “My best friend stood me up for study date with younger student of literature.”

Brunette pouts softly, thinking for a minute. “You can always hang out with us.” She stops, but quickly changes her mind. “Or maybe it’s not the best idea.”

“Why? Tell me.” He demands jokingly.

Luna doesn’t really hesitate as she points at her group across the place. “See them?” When he nods she continues. “I can name five girls there who are crushing on you.”

He laughs leaning his back against the wall and smirking at her. “Crush on me? No offense, but it sounds pretty ridiculous. And hilarious by the way.” Very bad topic, Luna, shut up and don’t even try to talk more about it.

So she does exactly what her brain says, talks more.

“Believe what you want,” She points at place her group is sitting, “but it’s just from over there and I know more.”

“I won’t ask for names, because I see your brain has no filter right now and I wouldn’t want to feel weird when any of them is near or something.” That’s better, maybe now you will shut up and hopefully won’t screw anything.

She sighs and looks at the place moving her eyes away from him. It’s too loud, too many lights flashing and too many people. She loves it.

His hand hits hers taking her attention as he points at the guy who’s talking to some student she bumped once or twice. “See that guy in white shirt?” Luna nods a little confused and he continues. “He’s the ta and he hates being one so much he has like more than half students failing.”

She blinks at him, not knowing why he’s telling her that but it’s nice that once he’s the one making the conversation. “How is that possible?”

Matteo shrugs. “When he does the grading he starts with first exercise like normal people would. When it’s correct he proceeds to second, but when it’s wrong he just fails the whole test.”

Luna blinks almost choking. “Isn’t it illegal or something?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not sure if anyone checks him. Though I need to tell you that when first three exercises are correct he gives them max grade no matter if the rest is good. You can sell this info to his students, because they still have no idea or they pretend they are stupid.”

“I will consider it, yes, thank you. But when I think about it now, I would be the first one to fail.” She pouts making Matteo laugh.

“Yeah, you would, maybe not the first, but you would.” He keeps laughing and Luna huffs very offended; he’s been messing with her tonight so much. “Okay, but see this guy walking with two drinks?”

“You are changing the topic, very smooth.” She crosses her arms.

“I’m always smooth.” He winks at her. “Anyway, it’s the electronics ta and he’s going towards the girl in green dress.” He points again at the crowd. “It’s his girlfriend and everyone knows that just because she’s not his student and he is ridiculously in love with her. Too much to shut up about it.”

Luna tilts her head biting her lower lip as he chuckles when she tries not to seem any awkward. “He’s lucky that she’s not. And ridiculously in love sounds nice. I wish I could be ridiculously in love.” That’s only thing she says as she turns to check his face. Matteo is staring at her with something in his eyes that messes with her brain and she feels more drunk than ever in her whole life.

She’s not really able to focus next few minutes when he tells her about another ta who is son of the professor teaching the same subject and how they are fighting about students, so she just nods few times when he asks about something. When he is done, his eyes on her again only thing Luna manages to ask is: “How do you know all of that?”

“Everyone knows those things if you find right person to talk to.”

Luna smiles softly moving her hair behind her ear with her eyes never moving off him. “So I guess now you’re the right person I’m talking to?”

“Of course, you shouldn’t even try to think otherwise.” He lets out small chuckle and Luna shakes her head.

There is this small moment of silence between them when they look away. Valente tries to gather her thoughts, because she wanted to ask him something, but she can’t quite recall what was that.

It hits her and she needs to ask before she forgets again. “Matteo, I have a question.” This low, soft voice she lets makes his sight move to her eyes and then lazily down, towards her lips.

His look doesn’t go up when he answers. “Another one? Go ahead.”

She actually turns so him, her arm on the wall and his own closer to her chest than it should be. “Can you dance?”

Matteo snorts. “I don’t dance.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Brunette crosses her eyes.

Balsano shakes his head. “I just don’t dance, Luna.”

“Chad from High School Musical said the same and we all know how it ended.” Luna puts her hands on her hips with teasing smirk.

“You offer to be the Ryan?” He smirks back. “You know they swapped clothes later?”

She almost chokes but tries to keep it cool. “I am not sure if you’d look good in this dress,” she says pointing at herself. It was next bad idea this evening, because his eyes slide down her body carefully observing.

“Maybe we should leave it on you, yeah.”

“You are changing topic again, I want to dance, Matteo.” Luna crosses her arms glaring at him slightly.

He tilts his head to one side with lazy smile. “Then dance.”

“I want to dance with you.” Valente mumbles and he sighs almost surprised or annoyed before leaning closer for her to hear clearly. “I can’t dance, that’s why.”

“I will teach you if you promise you won’t go to other girl leaving me alone when you already know how to.” Luna is very aware she’s rambling things she shouldn’t to Matteo Balsano. Sober Luna wouldn’t say anything of that, but now she isn’t any sober.

Something in her eyes must convince him because he eventually nods biting his lower lip. “But if you step on my feet I’m leaving.”

She giggles taking his hand and pulling him towards the less crowded part of the dance floor without thinking. She makes sure no one around will bump into them or throw up and turns to him smiling to find his eyes careful on her body.

“You okay?” Luna asks softly because he seems to be super uncomfortable.

“Yeah, just weirded by this all.”

“Well I should be the weirded one, you are this age and you don’t know how to dance, that means you were just drinking around when you were my age and I can’t imagine that.”

“Oh, you should’ve seen it, you would have fun with that guy. But sadly I grew up.”

“I’m sure I could have much fun with you now too, so calm down, you are on a party. Unless your girlfriend would get mad at you for dancing with younger girls.”

Matteo shakes his head. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Well then wife, whatever.” Luna shrugs and he starts coughing.

“Do I look like a married man?”

“More like you don’t look like a man who’s single.” He looks at least done when she says that.

“And yet I am one, not to mention that by choice.”

She giggles. “So you sacrificed your life to science?”

The only reply Luna gets is Matteo shaking his head with a grin, because he probably already gave up on opposing. “Maybe let’s just dance and stop talking?”

Luna laces their fingers and pulls him closer by his hand, he is just a step away from her looking a little uncomfortable. “Matteo if you don’t want to dance then just tell me that instead of subtly showing me to go away.” She pouts a little taking her hand away and frowning at him. He blinks for a few times as if he wants to say something, but isn’t able to find any words and before she can blink his fingers are intertwined with hers, her chest pressed to his and their noses almost touching. His hand is on her waist and Luna has no idea how to breathe.

“Is it better now?” he murmurs letting her taste his breath. She can only nod wrapping her arms unsure around his neck to play with hair on his nape. Her breathing still shows how surprised she is and she curses the fact her heart is beating so fast.

“You know what, Matteo?” Luna asks tilting her head a little watching him intently and trying not to freak out much about the fact she’s that close to him. “I think you are messing with me a little.”

“And why would I?” He asks her softly moving his hand up her back until he reaches tips of her hair tangling his fingers with them.

“You can dance.” She mumbles with a sigh.

Matteo smiles taking her hands and turning her around quickly before leaning her down with his steady arm supporting her back. He pulls her up smirking already and as she stares at him confused he just starts to slowly move swaying to the sides.

“Can I really?”

Luna giggles and nods. “You totally can, but I don’t know why you lied to me.”

“I don’t like to dance and you were so excited to teach me I couldn’t go back.” He shrugs, his hands on her waist are soft, she smiles at his words hoping this time he means it.

Matteo pulls her closer casually and relaxed but it confuses her more. “I have questions,” she whispers softly.

“About what? I give you three.”

Luna pouts at the limit but nods taking all he gives her. “Why are you dancing with me?”

“Because I want to.” His voice is very calming and maybe it’s the alcohol, but she believes him. He takes one of her hands up slowly, the same time he presses her to his body more and she doesn’t mind either of them.

She suddenly can’t see all those lights and hear people around them. There’s only Matteo Balsano holding her in the middle of the dance. His eyes focused on her make her almost tremble and he’s smiling slightly as her nails are tickling skin on his neck. They stay like this for few songs without any words and Luna has this impression she’s never felt more relaxed.

“You had questions, little lady.” Matteo murmurs with low voice as if he’s scared of talking louder.

She sighs suddenly aware of everything, asking herself where’s the alcohol but she can’t find it in her blood. “I have only one now and it’s super weird.”

“What is it? I’m sure after this night nothing can be weird.” He chuckles softly drawing small circles with his thumb on her skin.

Luna smiles supporting her chin on his arm and feeling how he tenses for a second before relaxing all muscles. He leans his cheek on top of her head and she closes her eyes trying to save this feeling in her mind.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” She asks in a whisper but she’s close to his ear and he hears it perfectly.

His fingers on her skin tighten, though his voice sounds casual. “I guess I haven’t found the one yet.”

Smile appears on her lips even if he can’t see it. “So you believe in the one?”

She feels him pulling away from her but apparently it’s just to look at her face. His smile is soft, his eyes even softer and his voice the softest when he answers.

“No.”

Something in this very word makes her feel more dizzy than anything today. These eyes fixated on her and this smile she can’t quite understand show her new Matteo, the one she’s never seen; she has never expected him to exist. There’s something gentle there, something making her more curious of him than ever and she wants to ask him to show her this part.

But knowing him as much as she does; not that much is enough to make her sure he would never.

He must notice her staring and thinking because he continues after this century moment of silence. “It’s just easier that way, Luna, did you know?”

She frowns at him shaking her head, she has no idea what he’s talking about. “I don’t know at all. You have to tell me.”

Matteo slowly turns her around before hugging again. Her chin is back on his arm when he explains. “Life isn’t soulmate au. It means you can be with whoever you want, whenever you want and however you want.”

She loses her breath because she wants only him and this is crazy.

“It’s not easier, Matteo.” She only manages to mumble that. He hums her to continue visibly wanting to hear what she has to say. So she does. “Everything is such a mess, one wants the thing the other doesn’t and how are they supposed to meet in the right moment? I want to believe that two get to each other at least because it was bound to happen, no matter how they end up.”

He doesn’t say anything for a little and she gets anxious about her own words. She hopes he is just analyzing it and will answer her or at least change the topic from uncomfortable one, but he replies letting her hear the smile in his voice. “That’s very interesting point of view. So you say it’s like we will surely meet each other at some point but it’s up to us what we do?”

Comparing this to their situation makes Luna blush and she’s glad he can’t see her now. She nods slowly hiding in his neck because she’s tired already. It hits her suddenly - in the middle of next song she just hugs him as he starts to hum the melody and Luna is definitely going to fall asleep.

“Luna?” Matteo mumbles softly at some point. “Maybe you should call your friend to pick you up.”

“I don’t wanna.” She answers but pulls away slowly. “But you are right.”

His hands go to her waist and she will freak out about it, but tomorrow. “I am always right. You should’ve known that already.”

She giggles sleepily but takes her phone out and picks Simón’s contact. He answers immediately asking if she wants to go home so she just yawns saying yes while she still feels Matteo’s fingers on her. She’s sure he frowns as she mumbles ‘i love you’ to Simón as bye though maybe it was just in her head. Being sleepy and drunk is the worst combination for Luna. She gets even surer of it when she turns back to Matteo. “Can I hug you?” She asks and he bursts with laugh.

“You’ve been hugging me for like last thirty minutes, but sure.”

Luna rolls her eyes at him and he pulls her to his chest again. She wonders if she will be ever able to be that close to him again. Her eyes almost miss when he opens his mouth. “Please, let me know when you’re safe home, okay? I will remind you about it before you leave, but in case you are in hurry I want you to remember it.”

“How am I supposed to do this?” Luna yawns again. Damn sleep.

“I don’t know, mail me, find me on facebook, or something. Stalking is very easy these days.”

She laughs loudly not thinking of what she’s saying. “I know, I stalked your insta with my friend, but it’s private so I didn’t see much really.”

He tries to act casual but Luna knows he is on edge of laughing and leaving at the same time. “You haven’t missed anything. Just stupid selfies made by my best friend and pics of my cat.”

As soon as he says word cat Luna opens her eyes. “You have a cat?” Matteo nods while she freaks out almost awake. “Show me the pics please.”

His face is full of thoughts for a second before he smirks and offers. “You can always try to follow me and if I accept you will see all cat pics, but for now you need to go. Just text me, okay?”

Luna brushes her fingers through his hair still brave by alcohol she had. “Of course. You text me too, deal?”

Matteo just nods smiling softly before she pulls away standing in front of him and not knowing what to do. He decides for her leaving small kiss on her forehead as his hands are holding her face carefully and Luna wants to feel his lips forever.

“See you on Monday?” He asks, corners of his mouth curled up.

“Yeah, thanks for tonight. It was nice.” She mumbles smiling a little unsure and chokes when she hears his reply.

“I hope we can dance again someday.”

Her phone rings for like fifth time but she’s lost now here in this very moment until he takes her hand in his and leaves another kiss on her palm. Matteo Balsano apparently likes to give kisses. Or maybe he’s gotten caught in the moment.

She knows she shouldn’t say that because everything feels even more real, but she can’t care when he’s looking at her like this. “I’m looking forward to it.”

LUNA VALENTE

8 new messages     3:32

i’m homeeeee but I’m not tired at all now i’m just hungry okay sorry i have to stop i hope you are home already or that you will get home safely have nice night goodnight

LUNA VALENTE

3 new messages     6:59

Oh my, I surely need to stop drinking or attending faculty parties I hope your morning is better than mine Anyway, I’m really sorry, I promise it won’t happen again

Matteo grins looking at screen of his phone. He doesn’t even blink before opening her facebook profile. I promise it won’t happen again.

The point is, that he really wants it. 

[tommy-trusty]

HI HI THANK YOU LOTS THESE R VERY GOOD,,, ANSWERS ALL UNDER THE CUT CUS MEMORIES GO BRRRRR

>> Did you ever go flying with Philza? Did he carry you, or did you have wings as well?

I did! Most of my memories of flying were being carried, since as a baby/kid he had to take me with him everywhere and I wasn't able to fly yet- well I might have been able to fly a little, but he wanted to make sure I was safe since we were gliding over very large and potentially dangerous stretches! Don't want your kid to fall into the ocean or void or lava or just in general fall from as high up as we had to fly to get to places quickly.

I had wings though, so when I got older I did do some flying with him! Generally I enjoyed the ground and the ocean though, although flying was definitely fun in the same way any other exercise based travel is! Occasionally fun to fly through little courses and rock formations with him too!

>> Did you ever do anything dangerous to annoy Philza? Ever go on Nether or End trips without telling him? Ever meet the deity's?

OH HEHEHE HE HATED ME FLYING IN THE NETHER WHEN I WAS SMALL…. when I got a bit older it was more chat that got worried because "WHY ARE YOU LETTING THE CHILD FLY IN THE NETHER" "PHIIIIIL [NAME]S FLYING GO GET [THEM]"  "PHIL THEYRE GONNA DIE" but phil just laughed cus like. I was like 10 and he didn't care XD chat picks up on Phil, they had to report me being awful and dangerous when I was younger and it took them YEARS to shake that habit. If anything they never did, as I got older I wasn't with Phil all the time anymore but I know they reported me to him anytime I did something stupid LMAO. I'd guess he just did the same thing as when chat came over telling him wil was eating sand or trapping frogs in a battle arena in the swamp, just like "yes that's very nice chat yes" because they needed acknowledgement XD

I definitely went on end trips without telling Phil when I was old enough to not have to be constantly with him, but this wasn't to annoy him or anything. The end was conquered by then, if I went there it was to grind levels, enchant things, or just hang out there because that place was rad! The nether was a bit stuffy so I spent less time there (whole magical realm at my finger tips and I just go "nah, it's kinda hot innit.")

>> Did you ever fight the ender dragon? What was it like? Did any mobs really scare you?

Pffff NO I did not, me and wil don't fight Phil's battles we just fuck around because Phil is a good dad who will fight THE ENTIRE EARTH for us (and by for us I mean for himself because he wants to build there, we are fully capable of not going to the end this wasn't a protective maneuver lol.) I wasn't that scared of mobs cus I just grew up watching Phil casually slay everything, like it's hard to have instilled fear of monsters when your developing years were spent strapped to a hardcore player! Philza avoided death like the plague so I learned to too, but not out of fear, just out of habit. I suppose I found blazes a bit freaky though.

>> Did you ever help Philza with his builds? Ever make your own?

Both! Honestly dad's builds were very big and ambitious so he had a LOT of room for help with just menial building shit. Wil didn't really help for shit because mom didn't let him (they're gods, that's "cheating." I thought it was a bit silly that wil wasn't allowed to have fun with us in that way, but wil didn't like building and dad really really did so it wasn't really a big point of concern for anyone other than kid me who just wanted to build with my big brother lol.) Phil was director of most things up until I was an adult, but he asked me, chat, and less often wil for opinions on build ideas which we were all very helpful with! In my timeline everything moved much slower than this world's hardcore, most builds took YEARS, so trust that a few helping hands were not a necessity for Phil, he was a patient man, but help was still appreciated.

As far as my personal builds, it's a bit more difficult to remember since I don't have a frame of reference but I did have a very nice house! Not too far from dads house, bit behind a ways, need to be able to walk out and say hi to pog! It was a pretty comfy house, just made of wood, had a lil workshop inside, just for general crafting. I remember chat used to sit on the windowsills and roof, dad'd say they're just watching their baby, annoying old man (affectionate.) I also built pathways quite a lot, and some minor world projects, I believe something in a rainforest, and I swear I remembered something else just a minute ago but now it's eluding me and I'm going to kill I HATE when that happens /lh

>> Did you get into sibling fights with Wilbur sometimes? Do your best to annoy him? What was your favorite thing to do with Wilbur?

Ah wilbur, we loved to make up things to fight about, it was a fun hobby, wilbur loved to argue and debate over the most inane topics, often he'd just come to Phil with the most pointless but still awful takes out of no where, and I learned from him that that's one way to start/have a conversation, so I did it too him too, I just had to turn around the tables to make him the philish voice of reason.

Dad left his iron footprint in the earth, the world bent around him, every spot he walked was left behind in his shape. Chat and I similarly left our major footprints in this world, because this was our world, damn it! But wil wasn't much more than a whisper over the earth, he might as well have never been there. Which is to say we… didn't have much to argue about seriously. Everything important to me was this place, and wil couldn't hurt that. Everything important to wil was… well it was beyond me, I wasn't a… demigod, or glitch, or whatever wil was, so I couldn't hurt his world either. The one thing I could've done to frustrate him was die, because if there was one thing important to wil that me and Phil could actually affect, it was ourselves, but frankly I didn't have any plans of dying so flying around the nether in the absolute most batshit risky way possible was my #1 only way to drive him insane as a teenager.

My fav thing to do with wilbur was talking! Arguing, sharing stories, making jokes, brainstorming- anything and everything, whenever he came by we always found something to talk about.

>> Was there any special places where you loved going? Anywhere that was important to specifically you?

Important to specifically me would be our home, and my home. All the beautiful places and statues were all wonderful, but they were projects, attractions, home was a lived place. Home was our ocean, our beach, our cat, our field, our house, my favorite place in the world. The best memories I have of most places are of building them with Phil or being there while he built it, but home wasn't a place to finish, it wasn't a project to work on, it was just a place to live! We were seagulls and I loved to go up and fly just to fly while at our beach. Flying was always for travel, to just be at home enjoying the natural ocean air with no where to be and nothing to do was something more full of light than anything we could have built in a hundred years, I loved it so much.

Timeline questions for tommy📒 !!

! Timeline : Hardcore Philza Kid !

>> Did you ever go flying with Philza? Did he carry you, or did you have wings as well?

>> Did you ever do anything dangerous to annoy Philza? Ever go on Nether or End trips without telling him? Ever meet the deity's?

>> Did you ever fight the ender dragon? What was it like? Did any mobs really scare you?

>> Did you ever help Philza with his builds? Ever make your own?

>> Did you get into sibling fights with Wilbur sometimes? Do your best to annoy him? What was your favorite thing to do with Wilbur?

>> Was their any special places where you loved going? Anywhere that was important to specifically you?

[sanguinesprout]

Uhhh welp... *derps x2* (Update and some past therapy and college/uni talk)

I really wanted to write a post but at the same time I’m not feeling very well and feel like the effort to do so might drain me even more. Maybe I’ll try write it more brief, since all my previous posts end up so hella long lol. 

Anyways, on monday was what I thought would be a therapy session but it was in fact another referral consultation, but I still poured all my truthful feelings and fears out. I feel kinda proud I didn’t kind of hold back or soften the things I said as much as I usually would (though I still stumbled over some words and blanked a little, but it’s okay!). Also I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be, I was just so focused on trying to give the consultant all the relevant information possible and almost went overtime in my super fired up blabby confession moment lol. She noted it all down and said she’d speak with her supervisor and decide where or who best to refer me to and be in contact by the end of the week.

I literally told her so many things that I would have a hard time telling anyone or even writing here. I began with the avoidant stuff and then kinda veered off into my super paranoid-ness troubles and a little on dependent-ness, it was... ugh... real difficult to talk about it without feeling like a fool but I also mentioned how I’ve been trying really hard to rationalise things and be more positive and stuff and for someone to acknowledge and sort of praise that felt nice. I also pulled out some of the most random and uncomfortable situations from my past to give as examples for things and it was uh... I struggled a bit and felt awkward a little but she was very sympathetic and nice! :> 

When she asked what my perception of myself was, as I mentioned I have a low view of myself, I said what I thought (and it was only a few adjectives of the negative kind, but they were strong words... I guess I am being too hard on myself, but I can’t help it when it’s all I can see of myself :c) and she was a little surprised and said not many people would be able to say it so bluntly *laughs nervously and burrows head in the sand*. I made sure to get across that I’m very sensible about my actions and have been trying my best to improve and that I have a lot of hope to get better and she said this was good too ^^ There was a lot of other stuff but it’s too much effort to write down and remember lol. I’m not sure what she makes of all the stuff I said and what the supervisor will say about it, I just hope it goes in the right direction and stuff ahhh >< (Also that they don’t ask to see my blog because I did happen to mention it... they wouldn’t though right...? Like to make me conquer my fears or something ;w; ...Even if they did (unlikely) I could say no, don’t worry silly self!)

No obligations! My new mantra XD (Idek know if I’m using the right word but oh well, it works for me so imma use it! lololol~) Getting stuff off the chest and having your problems acknowledged really does feel like a weight has been lifted slightly hoo~ I feel a little bit more motivated and willing to disclose my fears and keep pushing to improve too ^^ 

I went to the supermarket after that with my sis who drove me to and from the appointment and I browsed around at a super leisurely pace. Maybe it was the sort of motivation boost from letting off the steam at the consultation that allowed me to roam around feeling less conscious of the other shoppers than I usually do, it was nice. I did still feel awk sometimes squeezing past people and sort of hovering around them cause I wanted to look at something but I persisted and I got to peruse as much as I wanted >:D

I said I didn’t want the post to get long but I thought why not write a little about my past therapy experiences since this post is about therapy, so here I go~! :U

In college I went to see a therapist lady about my ‘social anxiety’. I don’t remember the details before that, it was probably me finally acknowledging I was genuinely having a hard time with socialising or fitting in wherever I am and constantly being anxious around others that prompted me to get help. It’s likely I read some shizz off the internet then too lol. I think in school before that I would converse and confide in a friend who also had similar feelings but when it got to college I hardly saw them because their schedule was like the opposite of mine. The line between friends and classmates, it kinda becomes clear once you stop being together out of convenience (of the same class times and such).

The friendships I had and were grateful for just gradually faded and I guess my lack of initiative (or fear) to continue communication outside just made it even more inevitable. It’s okay though, people move on and people change, especially in the case of when people move to far away locations too. They have their life to live however and with whoever they want, and I have mine (which is terrible but... maybe it won’t be later on). I do miss them and I miss the time I spent in school with them, but what I hope most is that they are all happy and doing well c: There’s a lot more I’d want to write, but this post isn’t about that. There’s plenty of time to reminisce, remedy and maybe even reconnect with them someday later on.

Anyways, I can’t remember anything too detailed with the therapy there except we talked some and she game some sort of worksheets with some tasks to help me acknowledge my feelings and fears and to try expose myself to them little by little. I don’t think I got that far with that or maybe it’s because I chose to start seeing her so close to the end of my time at college that well the sessions obviously didn’t continue for long, I don’t think I went more than a small handful of times. 

Something else I remember from probably one of my first talks with her, is that she asked me what I would wish for (or where I’d wish to live?? idk too long ago to remember) if I could, and I said something like to live in a normal house like everyone else lol. Idk I was envious of the cosy homes my friends, relatives and families on tv have that were so different from my own, more modern and homely unlike mine which is so old, unconventional and constantly noisy because my parents workplace is aside it. (Maybe the work place and home being so close makes it hard for my parents to sort of separate their work mindset and leisure time and that’s why they can never sort of relax and why I can never be comfortable idk.) Uh well anyways, she replied that it was such a humble(?) modest(??) wish... uh I’m really not sure of the right word to use to describe it or what she said exactly but basically it was indicating my wish was not like the extravagant sort of things other people would probably wish for. My wish (though I can’t remember the exact context leading up to asking about it) was in essence to be normal and have a normal environment and I guess that still stands, though I do have bigger dreams now too, but still not the overly extravagant kind haha. Idek what I was trying to say in this paragraph lol *goldfish memory*.

Also something else during college time, is that I went to this breathing exercise help thing which was supposedly supposed to help people who are anxious in exams or something but I just went in hope it might help me in general. It literally was just listening to some relaxing nature sounds and seeing some matching imagery while having your pulse tracked at the same time and I sucked at it and didn’t really improve much lol XD It was supposed to help you regulate your breathing and stuff but I just probably got more anxious about it. I wonder if it is anxiety that has been causing me all sorts of worrisome chest related problems, as they have persisted till now more than a decade later unresolved and still causing me bother. This is one of the health problems out of many which I have been trying to get to the bottom of and fix in the recent years, it’s really unsettling not knowing what’s really wrong or how to fix it ugh. Maybe I’ll write about it in a separate post another time (always putting off stuff ahhh, but I guess it makes sense to here), I’ve actually been trying real hard and gone through quite a lot of things in effort to resolve things, I’m kind of proud of myself for doing so but I need to continue to persevere.

Hmm... okay now for the therapist I went to in university. I can’t remember the exact thing that prompted me to start going or how I came to know of it, but it was probably the similar feelings of struggling and needing guidance and idk reading posters or some info booklets maybe. I know I started going later than I could have again and stopped going completely because... well, I ended up dropping out of Uni altogether :c I was struggling so badly, the anxiety, the depression etc. just made it so difficult to sleep, concentrate or understand anything and just being there unnerved me so much. I still regret it and feel like such a failure, but university isn’t for everyone anyways, I just chose to go because it is the typical thing to do after college (but a degree doesn’t guarantee work or anything so bleeeh~)

The therapist I was appointed was a guy and he was nice and this will sound really ridiculous and I feel real bad thinking this, but something about the way he looked reminded me of an army sergeant and it made me extra uncomfortable and intimidated. It was just so hard to unsee and also the fact he is a guy like I mentioned earlier make me unsettled (I’m even more insecure around guys) Dx Also I remember talking about some of my female related physical problems as I was going to doctors trying to sort stuff back then too (still partially unresolved now ugh) and well uh... it was so awks but he said he could understand and relate because his daughter had the same problem, he would share some stories about her other times too and I guess it was kind of nice, it helped me to see him more as a softer father type person rather than an army sergeant I guess lol.

Anyways that’s not important! One of the things I distinctly remember about my sessions there, is that one of his earlier sort of tasks was to write down what I thought of myself on a paper. I took the paper and I drew a simple scrawl of myself with an unhappy face and next to it (or in a speech bubble) I wrote ‘I hate myself’ and without looking up, I cried onto it... :< (I wonder how many times therapists have to see people cry a week or even a day ><) He gave me a sympathetic look and I don’t remember what else happened that session, probably just talked about some more basic stuff about myself and some positive thinking advice.

Another thing I found memorable is that he told me ‘you are the one that knows yourself best’ and it really stuck with me. There was also a kind of ‘you are the only one that can change yourself/you are the one that can help yourself most’ kind of phrase (but I can’t remember the exact wording) and before that he would use a sort of metaphorical situation and ask me what I would do. The one for this phrase was something about being out at sea/or a pool and needing help... *blank blank something something* ...uh I can’t remember the rest of the details and I don’t think I should guess because I made a whole lotta nonsense in the other paragraph before lol. Again it feels kind of unreal, like I was a different person then or that I’m seeing it from a different perspective... I wonder if it’s dissociation or something, it just feels so strange ><

Oh also this is semi-irrelevant but I went to have Dyslexia tests at both college and uni also (my friend that already went recommended me to go). I just wanted to know why I was struggling so bad, why I had so much trouble with concentrating, taking in info and all that stuff. Maybe I’ll write about the outcome of these and where they lead me another time (ugh) when I write about all my other health focused posts. I’ll just mention again that so many things in mental health and function overlap and that it’s so difficult to discern the definitive reasons for things, the diagnosis I got was...eh... and I took it with a grain of salt pretty much (and btw my family/relatives weren’t all that convinced or supportive of this or when I had a diagnosis of depression which was... well it wasn’t great). I’m glad I had the courage to go to these too because it did help me to understand myself and work a tiny bit more efficiently, but I guess my avpd-ness prevented me from wanting to use the stuff and advice they gave me in class and well, it was already kind of too late to sort of salvage what little motivation I had then and try continue.

Uh... that was hella negative. But I guess that’s basically all I remember about those things. I started writing this post on monday but well I guess I had more to write about than I thought and I didn’t have enough time alone to think about it and write it lol. I’ll finish this post by mentioning some of my more positive things from yesterday ^^ I phoned the mobile provider of this phone I bought recently and returned to get some details on my return. I’ve put this off for a few days already and wasn’t going to try, but I pushed myself to and yay I got the answer I wanted (though I could have said my question a bit more straight forward in the beginning instead but in the end I got there, so it’s okay xD). The past year or so I’ve called the doctors and my phone provider the most probably lol. About why I returned the phone... I just really wanted a new phone because mine is so old and frustratingly dysfunctional, but I changed my mind about the one I got and decided to wait to get another one. Indecision and impulse buying at it’s best yo~~~

Also I emailed an enquiry to a seller about some problem I had with some product bought from Amazon (which I’ve also been putting off). In general I feel I’ve been trying harder to not let that ‘oh no someone’s gonna judge me’ feeling from stopping me do some small things I wanted to do, like listen to this derpy old cd I found on my living room stereo just before and commenting on some things online (with my cheesy jokes and over enthusiastic complimenting as usual lol *facepalm*). Also thinking more positively about things like, when you feel you weren’t successful, it’s best not to beat yourself up about it, at least you tried and you can try again and it might be even better than previously. Like with this post, I didn’t finish it on monday or yesterday like I wanted, but there’s no point feeling down or mad at myself for it (I mean it was my own choice really and my fear stopping me, but it’s not gonna help to be overly harsh to myself about it) and since I’m continuing it now anyways, it’s no big deal. It wasn’t mandatory for me to finish it, I shouldn’t worry about it, no obligations! ^^ I hope I can keep it up and keep pushing out of my comfort zone too! 

Ze end~! Must go do something more productive! Let’s go~! :3

[a-hazy-memory]

E came to visit for a week, along with my sister D! She flew all the way out from California! It’s a full house with everyone here, but I kind of love it. We went for a walk together on Monday but everything was closed. EVERYTHING. Except one dive bar full of smoke and grumpy old people tossing us strange looks. S played some virtual bowling and was pretty good. We each bought one drink and left - D didn’t even have to pay for hers, it was pretty funny. Then S and D went home while E and I wandered off to Mickey’s to grab some snacks - he was pushing me in the wheelchair, and hoo boy the sidewalks in this town are a nightmare.

The other day we (me, E, and D) went to the cafe for breakfast/lunch, and the food was splendid as usual but there were some suburban white ladies there who made us really uncomfortable.

We went to the pub on the corner today and pretty much spent 20$ on jukebox music and played pool for 4 hours hahaha. We didn’t even really drink. xD We even managed to bring Ju along, he originally was just staying at home. He had a tonsil surgery the other day and is still recovering, so he couldn’t join us when we went out to dinner earlier today. E and I shared a banana split after dinner, he’s left-handed and I sat on his left (and I’m right-handed) so to make things fair we both ate with our spoons in our off hands. It was pretty silly, and we had to chisel with our spoons to break off pieces of banana!

E and I have been playing WoW a little, it’s been fun. We’ve also been going for walks and stuff, it’s nice getting out of the house and getting a little exercise though it’s a bit exhausting.

We started watching McElroy videos, they’re really funny! I like them a lot, no wonder they’re popular!

NSFW/TMI: 

E has been working on being more affectionate - touches, kisses, little gestures. He’s also been trying harder re: sexytimes, trying stuff with kisses (before we only kissed close-mouth, he’s been trying open mouth and tongue and biting my lip, its been nice), and letting me know when he likes doing stuff (apparently he likes giving massages! like full body ones! its very cute and sweet). He also finally managed to fully penetrate me without exploding the instant his cock got near my crotch. The first time/day we tried (this time) he didn’t get all the way in before he climaxed. The second time (this visit) he managed to get all the way in (it hurt like I expected, and it doesnt help that he’s got a bit of girth, but he went slow and gentle and eased in so it was alright). He still finished really fast, but he’s definitely improving. And it’s very cute that he gets so excited about having sex with me.

Sometimes he looks at me with so much affection and love written all over his face, and I have no idea how I’ve gotten so lucky. I love him so much.