the-brainr0tt

[heavens-aesthetic-kitchen]

Why the TF2 Defense Trio deserve more recognition

The people have spoken, I have decided to create an essay disguised as a post on this godforsaken website because it's a free country goddammit! (I would have done it either way lmaooo, I have a lot of shit to say about these maniacs) To start this formal essay glorified very serious shitpost, why should you as a tf2 fan care about these 3 men? They're so "boring" and there's not much going on with them. If ya took a second, let's pause with what was being said. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND to think such thoughts, we must shake you out of cuckoo land by giving you an in-depth look into these three so that you understand where I'm coming from. Let's start in order:

Demoman:

After being in the fandom since 2019, there's always one character I always thought wasn't given much anything in the fandom at all. Even taking ships out of the equation, there's barely any fics I've that focus on Tavish Finneagan Degroot specifically that I've seen that isn't a compilation fic (I read a lot of x readers, don't judge me). Believe me, I checked ao3. I went through Demoman's tags and I tried very hard to filter a lot of the crossover and relationship tags, yet there's less of Demoman himself, than there's him just existing as a side character of a story. Which is honestly sad, I honestly think Demo is one of the more kinder mercs compared to a lot of the team. This man made friends with the BLU soldier, despite knowing that they were supposed to be killing each other. Sure, it's unclear whether or not Demo did actually go through with it and it's just a ruse, because the voicelines in WAR! don't have a set timeline. But I do think that Demo would have tried to keep his friendship with BLU soldier. He's very chill. I've never actually seen him get violent against his friends and family, despite being a drunkard. I honestly think he's one of the sweetest people in TF2, he takes good care of his mom and haunted sword lmaoooo. Jokes aside, he seems like a genuinely good man and I barely see anything that suggests he's sadistic. He's a chaotic and loud, but not bad. Not bad at all. The fact he can still do his job well, even after drinking so much that his body created a whole distillery, is even more impressive. He is damn good at what he does and works very hard. He's had multiple jobs, even as wee little lad. Despite what people think of him, the fact he's getting paid 5 million dollars a year, is proof he knows what he's doing. He loves his job and couldn't bear the thought of not working. I feel like his backstory isn't talked about enough in the fandom either. When you think about it, it's kinda fucked up that he was put in an orphanage by his biological parents until he was in the right age to be blowing people up. Not only that, his eye socket was haunted by the Bombinomicon so that every halloween a giant eye would manifest, attacking him and his friends. Even Medic couldn't help him and instead resorting to scooping the part of Demo's brain where he remembered so he would stop asking. He most likely has a lot of stories for you, I see him as the type that has a lot to say. His past is the most fleshed out and complete out of all the mercs, which I really appreciate, you can do a lot more with him. Also another thing, during Unhappy Returns, he took the time to reassure Soldier that he wouldn't think he's a civilian. He didn't brush Soldier's worries aside and instead comforted him. I wish I had a lot more to say about Demo because I am baffled that he isn't being gushed about as a potential partner. He has the excitement and like zero baggage. A thing I also wanna point out is that he seems to be insecure of the fact he's a black scottish man with only one eye during Meet The Demoman. I may be reading into things a bit too much, but it makes me wanna be like "NOOOO don't talk about yourself like that, bro. You're so cute UGHHH" Also also he's handsome. Sure looks can be subjective, but I still think Demo has a face I would kiss hehe. He looks great with his beard and his cheeky ass smile. GOD I could gush about him all day, but I have to move on rip.

Heavy:

Honestly, I'm having a hard time just finding the words to describe this amazing man without giving him the respect he deserves. But I'll sure try. Heavy has had a difficult life and I've always admired how strong he was. Not just of his muscles, but he endured one of the toughest situations and still kept moving forward with his life even though it was traumatizing. You see why I'm even having a hard time talking about him? I can't really get down into the weeds, without getting serious for a min. I feel like the fandom doesn't give him much credit for being able to deal with so much. He's the rock for his family after his father disappeared (atp I think he's dead, which is the cherry on top this depressing sundae) and I wouldn't doubt that he would be the same for his team. He's a man of few words, but that makes him all the more intriguing. Just because this man has a lot of brawn does not mean he's dumb at all. Despite how he acts in the battlefield, Heavy is observant and clever. Although, it's implied that Spy being Scout's dad is an open secret between the mercs and Miss Pauling, the fact he figured it out without saying it directly must mean he has a lot more going on. He's also educated, getting a phD in Russian Literature. It's not a STEM program, but he actually got a doctorate and went to college, that's a lot more than half of what the mercs did lmaooo. Also he has a bit of a softie side, not just for his mom and sisters, but also other creatures as well. I respect him so much for avoiding violence against those dogs during the Showdown comic. Not only shows what an absolute sweetheart he is, but also how much he's able to think quickly on his feet. Heavy is very direct and blunt, I don't see him as the type to lie about his feelings. I appreciate that he doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything, he'll get the job done and he ain't playing. There's no fluff, he knows what he wants and that's to rev up Sasha and ram through sons of bitches without any worries.

I feel like I wanna point out, his story seems the most unexplored in the fandom, even though it has a lot of potential for ANGST factor. I already broke down how sad it is, but I just feel like it isn't said enough. Can I just say how cuddly he looks?! GAH, I feel like he would give the warmest hugs! The way he smiled in Unhappy Returns when he finds out his family doesn't need to live in fear anymore, just melts my heart! He's so protective over his family and friends! I wish I had a lot more to say about this guy because I just can't stop finding more things about him that go unappreciated. I had to literally edit this part so many times before moving on, he just has those little details you don't notice until you take a second and have that OH MY GOD moment

Engineer:

I was getting so hyped, when it was finally our resident southern nerd's time to shine. GOD I have so much to say about this man. It's been over 5 fucking years and I have never stopped simping for this man since 2019, I think I'm gonna go insane from how much I've been repressing, I go feral when he's around. Anyways enough stalling. I don't ever think a fictional character has ever made me swoon quite like Engineer, I really mean that. I have ask and pleaded to whatever god was listening to give me a man like Engie. To me, he is everything I ever wanted and more.

First, I wanna talk about what makes him attractive to me. His accent. His southern charm, UGH he's killing me with that smooth voice and chivalry! I swear this man could make me faint just from existing. The way he smiles is so warm, his insults are so corny I love them. That five o clock shadow GAHH! I'm getting butterflies all over again. I swear I love all three of the defense bois, but Dell Conagher has my heart wrapped around his gunslinger metal finger. All those personal reasons aside, I've always thought Dell Conagher was a very interesting character in the world of TF2. He might not have much screen time or goofy shenanigans like the other mercs, but that doesn't mean you can ignore him oh no no no. This man is important within the whole story of Mann Co and TF industries, his grandfather being the catalyst of the game's events and the comics going forward. The Conaghers are the SOLE REASON why Team Fortress 2's story exists. I find it strange that the fandom hasn't done much with this fact because you can do a lot with this idea. Engineer knows a lot of shit and would be the biggest threat to Helen, if not for the fact that his family has been helping her for years.

Like his backstory, he's not seen much in the battlefield, but he has a lot more going on behind the scenes. Imagine the possibilities. He is damn intelligent and he knows it. While Dell is very sweet and has a southern charm, this is a facade to hide his God complex and sadistic tendencies. If you think this man is just your boring gentle engineer, you've got a big storm coming. It's heavily implied that he sawed off his own arm so that he could use the gunslinger. This man works on projects with Medic and doesn't question the moral implications of putting a human brain in a pumpkin. Hell, he threatened his own employer, even if he was an old man (Granted, Blutarch dug up his grandpa's grave, so he probably should have gotten something a lot worse than just Dell telling him to fuck off). Engineer is more than the texan egghead sweetie pie, he is a mercenary for a reason and I would argue that he might be as insane, if not more than, the rest of the team. No sane man would willingly work with a bunch of war criminals if he wasn't also crazy. That's the thing I really like about him. I love playing as him in the game because it represents his character very well. He technically serves a supportive role to the team with his buildings, but he is a killer with a lot of tools in his disposal, With the right amount of training, he can absolutely dominate in the battlefield.

I feel like he's one of the people that underestimate and assume that he's an easy target, but he's a lot more than that. He has a lot of layers that makes me want to learn more about him and what he has to offer.

In Conclusion:

These guys are cool. Lmaooo okay I won't just end it there. I genuinely believe that they're not getting the recognition that they deserve, they've got a lot more going for them if you pay attention. Sure they might not always be the loudest or most prominant character in the story, but what they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality TEN FOLD. They don't have to be your favourite, but you should at least give them a chance. You never know, they may surprise you.

Okay so thats enough of that, I couldn't find a divider above this message, so you're getting this grainy ass gif. Honestly, I put way too much effort on this shitpost lmaooo, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out in a more concise manner. If you want to add more stuff about these three that I didn't mention, feel free to do so. Anyways thanks for reading

[sylveon-and-velveon]

Oh God can we please see what the slashers would do if you played 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' from Grease? Just in time for Valentines Day 🥺🥺🥺

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! For couples and singles {like me lol}

OMG yes! I loved watching Grease as a kid!! AFTER MAKING THIS: Should say somehow half of these became "love language" responses- I follow you, hol' up

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD We besties if you give me Cupcakke remixes-

OG Michael Myers

It's giving lovesick, it's giving obsessed, it's giving "I'm not leaving you"

Well for Michael anyway-

He'd probably take the song a little too seriously, and think you're never gonna ever leave him.

He's never been the best at romance

Blame where he was "raised" for over a decade-

RZ Michael Myers

Just as much in the "never been good with romance" department

But hey, the music isn't loud and obnoxious so he doesn't mind as much to the music you're playing

Especially since it's not as vulgar like.... last time you played music around him

You music player lives to see another day!!

Brahms Heelshire

He sees it as a love language, that you're using music to properly show your love for him without feeling uncomfortable throughout it all

Yep, that's my new headcannon now. His love language is through music. Especially with pianos

He hears you playing that? Oh his heart is MELTING right then there!! He's gonna be giving you cuddles for DAYS after hearing that

Someone make this love language canon please-

Jason Voorhees

Imagine if his mom used to listen to this song?

Bringing him memories. Bittersweet ones probably

Unless you headcannon his mom's still alive, then just sweet

Unless you have a sad headcannon about his mom then you fucked either way mate TvT

But anyway, it brings him memories and he's enjoying the music with you

I kinda went on a Pamela rant there- XD

Billy Lenz

A little confused but he got the spirit

He ain't understanding a lot of it until he hears iconic line from the song

Then he running over to you and is NEVER letting you go

But he still confused

But he trying TvT

Freddy Kreuger

Okay.... here me out:

Yeah the dude will be ridiculous with goofy ass music

But with romantic related songs?

...

So you know how he has one hand that isn't covered with the glove?

And no, you're not getting anymore context to my thought process-

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Short and sweet, they'd both love it

Billy's calm about it, while Stu is just like a big doggy. Oh- he is SO happy!!

Billy ain't gonna stop him, it's a good song. And it makes the both of you happy

What's to complain?

Thomas Hewitt

Takes him a few seconds to understand the implications of this song but when he does he's gonna give you a big ass hug

Bone crushing? Probably-

It's Thomas, he'd probably accidently do it-

But he still loves you

Even if he accidently puts you in a wheelchair

Bubba Sawyer

Yeah you gotta explain the song, poor guy highly wouldn't understand the meaning

Or he would... but BARELY-

You gotta explain what the song's about, when he finally does understand he's gonna be so in love with you.

And the song

Like a little confession song... weird choice for a confession song. But you do you-

Harry Warden

A little old fashioned but he understands the song is romantic-esc

He'd vibe to song, bounce his head along to the beat a little

Tap his feet to beat as well, maybe change back and forth between the two

He's never watched the movie before but now the song makes him want to watch the movie

Specifically with you ^^

Tiffany Valentine

She's watched the movie, but she doesn't wanna admit it

But the second, THE SECOND, she hears you playing that song

Ohhhhhhhhhhh you two are singing that song together with no shame

It's her guilty pleasure song, but knowing that you listen to this song now makes her more confident!

Hell yeah!!!

[ask-caine]

ok ok what’s yours and moons love story. Beginning to end

OOC POST

It's a bit of a crazy story, actually!

We originally met online through TADC, when she messaged all the Caine accounts she could find for a shitpost "wedding" thing. We ended up hitting it off and talking about random things for a while. It started with my random fact about Kentucky marriage laws and how a couple used them to get married by cocaine bear (hence the below picture)

We ended up learning about a shared interest in plague doctors, as well as discussing several very random topics. Anyways, she invited all the Caines to a discord server, and I ended up being the only one who actually showed up. We would end up talking for hours upon hours day after day there. It was genuinely shocking how much we had in common.

At this point, I had been kinda been picking up on some of the flirtatious undertones behind some of the things she was saying, but I wasn't 100% sure about it yet and was still kinda testing the waters. I'd heard the term love at first sight, and looking back on it, that's pretty much what it felt like. I had been developing a crush on her up to this point, and I kept thinking about her as I was getting ready for bed. I had to keep stopping myself from falling head over heels, reminding myself we barely even knew each other and telling myself "no, she's just being nice. Don't be weird, there's nothing behind this, she's just being friendly."

...As it turned out, she wanted to be a little more than friends... Given my feelings up to this point, I was a little overwhelmed when she told me. I had to take a minute to collect my thoughts, to process everything (hence her jokes about me pulling a Caine and running away). But I liked her, too, and was willing to try a long-distance relationship. So, that's what we did.

It was only a few days after we first got together officially that I told her I loved her. It just felt right. Apparently I caught both of us off-guard with it, since she was sure that she'd be the one who would've said it first. ...We both dived in a little too headfirst from there. From my side of things, it was just so exciting and exhilerating to have this feeling I'd been searching for all my life, and I wanted more of it. We took a step back and both agreed to try and take things at a more reasonable pace from here on out.

We ended up learning a lot about each other. It was like we were the same person, split apart and put in two entirely different situations but turning out the same way anyway. ...This similarity became concerning when we realized we both had the same last name, as well as the fact that we both had Scottish ancestry. But, one family search check later, we confirmed that we are not, in fact, related. Just another insane coincidence that further proves that we were made for each other...

We shared a lot with each other. Our interests, hobbies, ideals, feelings on various topics. Our experiences throughout life, good and bad. The darkest parts of us. Every day, we grew closer. There was no denying that there was something special between us.

That isn't to say everything was perfect. We both still had a lot to learn about ourselves and about each other. There were ups and downs. Things were far from easy. There was a lot of avoidable pain both ways. As time went on, we started to become a little more distant...

Eventually, the stress of life and school and worries and everything going on got to be too much, and she called for us to take a break from the relationship. This hurt, of course... But, taking a break and being done are very different things. I was okay with taking a break, since we would still hang out and such sometimes, just not as romantically.

But, that still wasn't enough. Everything continued to be really stressful, and she felt like she wasn't a net positive in my life and was dragging me down (though the truth was exactly the opposite). So, she decided to fully end the relationship. Which... Really hurt me. Badly.

I kind of fell into a depressive state for a while. I had opened myself up like never before, let myself be more vulnerable than at any point in my life. I had finally found love, the one thing I'd truly wanted all my life, the only thing I've ever needed, and then it was just taken right away. The one thing I feared more than anything else in the world had come to pass.

We would still talk occasionally, but not like before. I already hurt so much, and just talking with her without being able to say the love I still felt was torture for me. So, I distanced myself a bit. I dealt with things on my own. I learned a lot about myself as I came to terms with how things had ended up.

Eventually, I started to feel a little more okay. I knew I could never stop loving her, so I decided to try and turn that love from romantic to platonic and still try to be a friend. Because while I may have lost her, she didn't want me out of her life completely. I could make do as just friends.

But, when I started to come back and we started to talk more again, she realized how much she had been missing me while we were apart. She figured out that some of the things she'd been feeling had been more than she'd realized. She learned that she actually was happier when we were together, and that she still really enjoyed being with me.

So, she began to give little hints again, like before. And, again, I picked up on them, but I didn't want to believe them 100% because of how much I'd been hurt last time. I told myself that she was just showing platonic love, the same way I was. Things would never be the same again. They couldn't be. If I was good for her before, she wouldn't have left...

It was actually Randy who got us actually talking again, first on our blogs, and then regarding what we were being sent. This eventually led to us talking just in general, about all sorts of things... Including what had happened between us. It was emotional, but we both came out of it feeling better about things.

That said, it took until this post before I realized she still loved me and that it was okay to love her back, the way I'd been holding in all this time. We had a heartfelt reunion, though we weren't officially dating again just yet. It still took me a while after that to fully accept everything and let down my guard again, after how much I was still hurting from last time...

But I didn't like the feeling of keeping her away. Of having a barrier between us. I desperately craved that deep, personal connection of love with her again. So, I opened my heart up again. And I'm so incredibly grateful that I did.

Soon after that point, Randy showed up and all those shenanigans ensued. But they only managed to get us talking more about things and uniting against it, which actually brought us even closer together. So, I guess if one good thing's come out of that dumpster fire of stress and stupidity, it's that.

Things have been absolutely wonderful since we got back together. We both learned a lot about ourselves in our time apart, and things have been much better between us. The rocky, uncertain road from before the break had smoothed over. And we fell so much deeper in love the second time.

Add in the stress of the past several weeks, with all the Tumblr drama with these blogs and the hiatus and everything (which I'm not getting into because you can see all that for yourself by looking through our blogs), and you're caught up to the present day. Life is still very stressful for us both, but a lot less so than when we first got together. We understand ourselves and each other so much better, which helps us make less mistakes and treat each other more tenderly and personally in the ways that we need most.

As for the future, immediately after finishing school, I plan to find work and save up to visit her in Canada sometime in the summer. After that is a little hazy at the moment, but we'll figure out our lives and put together a plan to find stable jobs and create a good life for ourselves up there.

And that's it, that's our story. From when we met all the way to the present day. You said beginning to end, but I'm afraid there is no end to our love. The story's still being written. Our lives are still being lived. I hope to be able to add to this years into the future, when we're living together and when we start our own family. But it might still take a while to reach that point.

[calxia]

I would like to hear more about sick ghouls going to the vet?

Who's the calmest and actually somewhat likes the vet? Who puts up the most fight at the vet (assuming it's probably Dew and they have to muzzle him hehe)

I love how I made what was essentially an unhinged shitpost at stupid o'clock in the morning and people want to hear more about my thoughts on it. So, here's my professional opinion on which ghouls would be the nicest patients in order (as someone who actually works in a vet hospital).

Cirrus and Cumulus are easily the best patients. They are happy to sit for the exam, purring happily the whole time. They don't care when the vet has to look in their mouth or in their ears and don't even flinch at any injections. If anything, they are too content because the nonstop purring sure as hell makes it hard to get an accurate heart rate or resp rate.

Rain is also on the calmer side. He's calm in the 'I know there's no way to get out of this' way so there's no purring but also no attempts on the vet's life. He'll grumble through the whole examination, but he puts up with it and the injections just fine. As soon as he's free to leave, he's 100% out of there without looking back.

Phantom is the nervous type. He needs lots of kind reassurance and patience during his exam and the vet has to take it super slow to not stress him out too much. He definitely is the sort that's a huge drama queen for any injections or blood tests needed. All you have to do is place your hand on him and he's already squealing before the needle even happens. Phantom's also the reason why they had to get rid of the drop ceiling as he once got stuck above it while trying to escape.

Sunny and Aurora are so excitable it takes forever to get anything done. Just constant tail wags and curious questions about what's going to happen. It’s definitely a multiple-person job to do any sort of exam on them because they just can't contain their joy and must constantly move. They ask for pets from literally everyone they see and you can give them an injection without them even realizing it because they are just too excited to greet everyone.

Swiss definitely has a 'care- will bite' note on his file. He seems happy enough to be there but he has bitten a vet before and will happily do it again. He doesn't particularly enjoy being poked and prodded about and will only tolerate it up until a certain point. Once he starts getting a little growly, he gets a muzzle so they can safely continue to treat him. He actually doesn't mind the injections, it's just more the prodding he hates.

Mountain is muzzled but that's just more for his sheer size and strength. He's as sweet as anything but if he did ever snap, he would cause serious damage so it's just a safety precaution for everyone involved. He understands this and is always as nice and polite for the whole thing as possible. They always send him away with a treat for being so good despite the muzzle.

Dew is the absolute worst patient possible. To even get him to the vet he has to be sedated before the appointment. If he's not had his pre-appointment dose, he will savage someone. Dew has an 'EXTREME CARE- WILL LUNGE' on file and has launched himself across the room just to bite the vet before. They have to fully sedate him to even be able to examine him and even then, he keeps growling through the muzzle the whole time. Once he had to go for an emergency appointment without his pre-appointment medication and it took 5 people just to be able to hold him down for the sedation injection. Everyone dreads him ever needing to see the emergency vet again.

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Seal anon here!

Just thought of a very funny y/n for the cookie world...a y/n who is oblivious to all the cookies trying go flirt and stuff with them! Also easily distracted like one second they simply think a cookie is being really nice to them and then the next they get distracted by a butterfly. Basically in the 'I want y/n' wars, they gotta keep y/n's attention on them and basically be something like 'and that is why I should be the one to date y/n-y/n, sweetheart, no. Don't wander off. Here, have a sweet treat and stay riiiight there. Ok? Ok. Anyway what makes you think you're worthy of y/n?' Or two cookies could be fighting over y/n while THINKING y/n is still close by but then they pause and realize 'wait where did y/n go?' And have to go chase em down lol!

Like have to keep y/n distracted and close to them or else they will wander off and do their own thing lmao! A very oblivious y/n!

What better duo with this than Milk and Yam?

Tw: SHITPOSTING, brief mentions of manipulation

Milk is sweet and worries a lot. He tends to panic when MC wanders off without him nearby. That's why he tends to hug them or hold their hand so they don't leave without him noticing. Once he finds them he's cooing and basically babying them a little too much.

Meanwhile, Yam is the equivalent of a Chihuahua. He's screaming and yelling, which is his way of calling for MC. Once he finds them, he just puts them over his shoulder so they can't get away. He does enjoy the feeling of them being helpless without him.

If the two are in the same space, it's literally an old married couple + MC.

Milk will try to lure MC in with his nurturing nature while also trying to passive-aggressively shove Purple Yam out of the way. If they're out adventuring he likes to just randomly put his shield up and be like, "You can't forget your shield MC! You might get hurt without me right by you!"

Yam gets so pissed at Milk because he knows Milk is trying to push him out of the way. The only way Yam tries to get MC's attention is through his language. I can see him swearing and being mad about things constantly; that MC finds it funny. In battle, he'll just swing around his mace to protect the group. But especially MC. "HRAGH! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY MILK I WANNA TALK TO THEM!"

I can see Milk and Yam arguing in whisper-yelling (we'll ignore that Yam can't be quiet right now) while MC is asleep. Like when they're camping for the night and MC is sleeping in between the two.

"You need to stop being so mean and aggressive with them! They do nothing wrong! I can't believe you would do such a thing to a poor little thing like them..." Milk pets your hair, pulling you closer to him.

"Look who's talking! You're the one manipulating them with your fucking 'Prince Charming' act! If anything, I'm just like any other cookie who has anger issues!"

"Me? I would never! I just want my precious one safe...and sound." Milk stares at your face with too much of a loving look. His smile practically glued onto his face.

"Yeah right! I'm the one beating up bad guys here!" Yam reaches an arm to tug you closer but hesitates.

"Go to sleep!"

"No! You go to sleep!"

"Guys I think I might be controlled by a human entity that has a really large finger." Suddenly, you whisper, absolutely clueless to the conversation.

"What? Say again?"

"HUh?"

"Finger..." You fall back asleep.

——————————————————

I was in the mood for some shitposting. No, I will never be sorry for it.

I was thinking Gumball and Darwin at the very end lol

- Celina

[verdemoun]

timewarp au shitpost while i put off working on my essays: found family roadtrip

lenny has to sit in the middle because sean does not have the spatial awareness for the responsibility of sitting in the middle seat.

sean properly hates being in the car for any amount of time. it's too hot, the radio sucks, he can't stretch. fidgeting quickly devolves into nearly punching lenny as he tries to adjust and find something resembling comfortable

hosea is too busy admiring how calm and amazing and beautiful bessie is (she has to drive, obviously) to parent despite a brawl being about to begin in the backseat.

kieran quietly points out every horse he sees and immediately the back seat is silent as they all lean forward to look. hosea looks too because they all miss horses from time to time. if it's a quiet stretch of road bessie will pull over as a little reward and they can try to pat the horse.

lenny stays in the car for 5 minutes of peace while sean, in an awkwardly protective/supportive way, tries to warn kieran there's an electric fence which he knows from personal experience are not fun to touch

((they're actually going to a trail riding place as a surprise.)) bessie tried to warn the supervising instructor but they are still unprepared for the sheer chaos of a group of horse starved outlaws adjusting their own tack before taking off into the woods without a guide. bessie quietly offers the poor woman her phone, revealing she hid an air tag in sean's pocket and promises that lenny will probably not let him do anything stupid. they still don't follow the guide but bessie and hosea go on a little romantic trail ride through the forests.

kieran was following them for 10 minutes before vanishing. they start to genuinely worry they're going to need to call search and rescue but turns out after a very lazy slow plod around for an hour he found his way back to the ranch and is brushing and tending to all the horses they have. by the end of the day he has all the names, breeds and histories memorized. the ranch owner says 'your adult son clearly has some neurological wonk but feel free to drop him in here the tack has never been so clean'

the trip back is much more peaceful as lenny and sean immediately fall asleep on each other with the exhaustion of using muscles they haven't even thought about in months riding horses.

kieran infodumps about the horses they were riding while hosea happily asks questions because kieran talking about anything is still a very big deal. he still points out every horse they pass on the way home.

[lunariamv]

curbing yandere gojo satoru ♡ yan gojo x fem reader; obsessive + possessive behavior, manipulation, gaslighting, slight misogyny, stalking, attempted kidnapping, violence, death shoutout to the anime death battle matchup threads on reddit so i could write this dumb shitpost gone girl and breaking bad vibes accidentally (lol)

Okay, what the hell. This is not fair.

Life has seemingly cursed you if this is what your fate is. Ever since you were little, your jerk-off parents were controlling psychopaths. They prioritized the clan. It's always been about the needs of the family and never you. Your clan, a bloodline of gifted sorcerers, with incredible powers passed down the family tree. They're incredibly prestigious, and super airheaded. The childhood you had was filled with training, studying, and striving to be the best to prove your worth. Thank the gods you were able to keep your wit and you never became an arrogant husk of your former self as a result of your stressful upbringing.

Since the clan wants to breed nothing but powerful sorcerers, they try to keep the family to be strictly sorcerers of a high class… which was why as soon as you were brought into the world, you were assigned to marry someone from another powerful family. Mind you, that you had never met. A betrothal out of your control, and it was to a nameless, faceless spouse. If that wasn't already terrifying, it wasn't until you were older that you finally met them, and desperately wish you hadn't.

He's too weird for you. Gojo Satoru had given you the ick when he tried to get incredibly mushy with you. The first impression was so awful it left a permanent scar on your potential relationship, and never healed. Honestly, you didn't see how people thought he was hot. In fact, you thought he was kind of stuck up. Sometimes you'd find yourself thinking, maybe if someone inflates his ego enough, his head will explode.

You know who you actually like? Nanami Kento! The two of you met in Jujutsu High, and you've been head over heels for him ever since. He's handsome, intelligent, and stern, your ideal type. Though Gojo tried his hardest to keep you away from him, it was nearly impossible to stop your schoolgirl crush from blooming. So it really sucked when he quit being a sorcerer while you and Gojo continued on to be alumni. Still, you made time to visit him when you could. Even though Kento came off as strict at first, the two of you had pretty good chemistry.

Then one day he disappeared without a trace. Everyone who cared had written him off as the salary man who just needed a break, but you didn't buy it.

So for the past few months, you've been investigating his disappearance on your own. Gojo keeps trying to hinder you, monitoring your actions and intervening under the guise of 'trying to bond with his fiancé,' but you're pretty sure he knows something. Hell, maybe he did it.

Needless to say, you're incredibly skeptical of Gojo. Ever since you first met, he's leaned into the whole fiancé romance trope way too hard, which you despised, since you held feelings for someone else. It's so annoying, how this grown man acts like a lovesick puppy around you. Saying you were disgusted was putting it mildly, and this resulted in you rejecting his advances at every turn. Even now you're trying to push the limits on this whole 'fiancé' thing. Maybe you should just cut ties with your family and break up with him. What exactly is stopping you?

Gojo. Gojo is stopping you.

Unbeknownst to you, Gojo's been madly in love with you for as long as he can remember. Primarily due to the fact that you were strong and capable enough to be his equal. Not only that, but the fact you weren't easily phased by him drove him absolutely crazy. Even when the mask was off and he wore his glasses, you didn't treat him any differently, compared to most women who melted in his presence. He loved messing with you and trying to win your affections, so much so it's become a game to him. The sardonic, witty personality you have contrasts with him well. The two of you are clearly made for each other, so why do you play so hard to get?

Gojo was currently resting at his nice apartment. Consumed by thoughts of you, his cute soon-to-be wife. Unlike you, he was incredibly excited about the marriage. In fact, he wanted to just hurry up and tie the knot already, if it weren't for you being hellbent on trying to stall it for as long as you could. He might be considered traditional, but part of him wanted to know if he could turn you into a stay at home housewife. You'd definitely protest, seeing it as demeaning, but he liked the idea of you only being subservient to him alone. You'd live a quieter life, safely at his side, and you'd be solely for his eyes. At the moment, he was stalking- watching you on his phone tracker. It should be about now…

Oblivious to this fact, you were heading to your new apartment. Merrily, you had just gotten it and (oops!) forgot to tell Gojo about it. Before you went to the building though, you decided to get a snack at a nearby café. For the first time in a while, you leisurely went through your phone, paying more attention to your device than you normally do. It was just to do some cleaning up of apps you didn't need anymore. That's when you saw it.

What the hell is this thing…?

Never in your life do you recall installing this app on your phone. It was submerged, buried in the endless pit of your apps, as if it was playing hide and seek. At the top bar, you could see something was running, too, and it was sucking up your battery. Narrowing your eyes in confusion, you pulled up your search engine and looked it up.

Oh, it's a tracking app?

The reveal was so unsettling that you find yourself smiling. An amused yet horrified chuckle escaped you. Eyebrows furrowing, you muttered under your breath. "Oh no, get this shit off, I don't want this…" As you were saying that, you were deleting all of the suspicious looking apps on your phone. You even went ahead and did some extra research about tracking and put up some extra scans.

The white haired man frowned in displeasure upon realizing the GPS was stuck. The blip was frozen. Either it was as awful as the reviews warned, or you figured it out. What a pain. Regardless, he still held your last known whereabouts right there. Guess he shouldn't rely on technology so much and instead do things the old fashioned way, right? With that in mind, he went out to the last place the marker had placed you.

Back at your place, you were resting on your couch. You were still trying to wrap your head around the tracker on your phone. Who put that there? Gojo, most likely. He must've set it up the last time you two crossed paths, while you were distracted. While you wanted to be shocked at that reveal, you couldn't say you were surprised. He always struck you as a weirdo, to the point you were under the impression that he was borderline obsessed with you or something. It doesn't shock you in the slightest that creep would stoop this low.

Perhaps this was the tipping point you needed. After all, he just violated your privacy, and who knows what other things he's done. Holding up your phone, you called your parents to break the 'terrible' news. Needless to say, they didn't take your declaration to call off the wedding very well. No doubt this would kill relations between your family and the Gojo clan. Though, you found yourself feeling rather apathetic to the matter.

For nearly all of your life, you had taken a backseat for the good of your lineage. Years and years of enduring painstaking training, studying, and then a forced engagement for them, and for what? Virtually nothing in return. It wasn't even going to a good cause anyways, as this involuntary construction of human life served only to benefit an outdated, egocentric family tradition. The only 'good' you can argue you've done was saving lives as a sorcerer, which was just a byproduct of their success.

In that call, you told them to disown you if it pained them that much to have a disappointing daughter. To fully break away, you'd move to another country or something. Even though your intent was to sever the ties, there was a sliver of remorse deep in the recesses of your heart. Despite your cruel upbringing, you did feel some attachment to your parents. They were your family, and they were all you had. However, you couldn't marry someone you didn't love. Especially someone who was this clearly unhinged.

They were protesting all the while before you hung up. After a moment, you dialed another number.

There's a slight deep chuckle over the line. "…Well, it's about time." Gojo's voice ardently crooned over the phone. You could practically hear the smug grin on his stupid face. He sounded rather pleased that you finally called him for a change, like he had been waiting for this moment his whole life.

The cocky tone voice in his voice almost made you laugh. Almost. It seemed you beat your parents or his in delivering him the bad news.

"Hi Satoru." You said casually, as if you weren't about to drop a bombshell on him. Then you spoke the following lines. "I'm sorry, but I can't marry you."

There was a brief pause. One that drew on for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"Mm…? Did you say something, (Y/N)? I didn't quite catch that." He asked innocently. However, you're absolutely certain he heard you the first time. Even so, you decide to be nice, and twist the knife even further.

"I said," Your voice becomes more stern as you narrowed your eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't marry you Gojo. The wedding is off."

"It should be obvious, but I'm not too fond of you, and I'd rather marry someone I actually love." The words flowed out of you like a river. A cool wave of relief washed off you as you truthfully spoke your mind. Speaking the truth felt incredibly good. For once, you felt like you were taking control. No more sitting aside, waiting for someone else to tell you what to do.

There's another split second of silence before Gojo spoke again. "(Y/N), I sincerely think you should reconsider." He drew a breath. "Think about your family, remember what this'll mean for them. Both your family and mine have been waiting for this since we were kids. Do you really want to do this to them?" He's trying to be rational, trying to convince you otherwise. If he was as crazy as you're theorizing, he must be suppressing his anger right now. Though, you're just as insane as he is. You know this'll drive him to his boiling point, and with that in mind, you continued your sprint across the thin tightrope.

"No, I'm pretty sure. Don't bother, I've already informed my parents about my decision. I hope you can forgive me for being selfish." At least you're kind enough to apologize. With that, you pulled your phone away from your ear. A digit hovered over the red button.

"(Y/N)--" Before he could reply, you hung up the call. Relief washed over you. With a genuinely content smile, you went back to whatever you were doing before.

On the other line, Gojo sat there motionlessly with his phone, the dial tone ringing in his ears. Silently, he held a haunted expression on his visage. Pale with wide eyes, it was like he had seen a ghost. It quickly faded once the anger set in, and his face twisted into a furious scowl. He's practically seething. Why are you doing this to him?! He wasn't oblivious to your tendency to reject his advances, but he didn't expect you to go this far. He'd figure you'd come around eventually, not throw it all away! All you had to do was go along and marry him. It was going to be perfect.

No, don't worry. Gojo faintly smiled to himself. This is still salvageable. He just needs to talk to you in person. Once you're face to face, he'll get you to change your mind, with a little persuasion, of course. Trying to suppress his raging anger, he calmed himself down as he swiftly walked down the streets.

Unbothered, you were laying on the couch, currently browsing the web for potential places to go. Singapore seems really good right about now…

"(Y/N)? Open the door!"

Ugh, there he is. It surprisingly didn't take that long for him to find you. To be fair, you deactivated the tracker a block down from where the complex was. He most likely found it and then asked your landlord for your door. Kinda stupid of you.

With a tired sigh, you lowered your head and fell silent for a moment. Maybe if you ignore him, he'll give up and go away.

Of course, he doesn't. Suddenly, your front door was violently kicked open. The loud slam made you gradually raise your head, drawing your attention. Your gaze flicked over to it, and lo and behold, Gojo was standing there at the entrance.

"…Well that's rude." You uttered with a nonchalant tone. Was breaking your door really necessary? Wonder what the costs are to get that fixed…

Maybe he was trying to play along, because he ended up gently closing the broken door behind him. He walked dangerously closer to you. "(Y/N), please. I'm begging you to reconsider." He spoke up. Although his voice was sultry, a smooth cadence like marble, there was a mild urgency hidden in the depths. "I love you. You're my darling fiancé, and I want you to marry me."

Standing up, you narrowed your eyes. A disapproving glare formed on your features. Perhaps in another life, or another universe, you would've found his declaration sweet. It was truly heart stealing stuff. Something that would make you melt into his arms like chocolate. Unfortunately, you wouldn't fall for it in this timeline. "How many times do I have to say it, Satoru? I'm not into you."

Tilting your head about an inch, your gaze bore into his. If he wasn't so upset, he would've been reveling over how gorgeous you looked right now. "I've officially broken up with you. So while I'm asking nicely, give up while you still have your dignity." You warned him.

Your threat garnered a low chuckle from Gojo. To him, it was nothing. While he did consider you to be 'equals', there was a clear difference in strength. He was one of the strongest sorcerers in the world, if not the strongest. While you were no doubt strong, he was much more powerful. If anything, he should be saying those words to you.

"That's cute." He nonchalantly commented with a smoldering glance. While his tone held intense admiration, the grin on his face was condescending. Either way, it's gross, and made you grimace slightly.

Despite the growing tension in the room, you refused to back down. If he was going to try to force you to be with him, you'd gladly fight against it. After all, it'd be a shame to let all your intense sorcery training go to waste. When he stepped closer, you got into a fighting stance.

Gojo stepped forward, and you anticipate it. His Limitless.

You’ve sparred with him before, so the concept of his ability wasn’t foreign to you. Taking a deep breath, you watched him carefully. Heightening your awareness, your focus sharpened, and you seemingly step out of your body for a moment. The heightened focus was like an astral projection.

The man dashed towards you in the blink of an eye. He went to strike, and you swiftly moved with a deflect. However, your counter attack doesn’t hit and you’re sent skidding back a few feet. Gojo chuckled again, and you could tell from that and his attack that he’s not taking this seriously. You’ll make him.

The two of you start fighting. Gojo engaged by trying to hit you, and his movements were fast, but you’re able to counter him to the best of your ability. Still, he’s holding back, and you figured that asshole enjoyed messing with you. Even so, you still used all your strength to fight back. If he wouldn't give his all, you most certainly will.

Meanwhile, Gojo realized you’re serious about putting up a fight. He’s been holding back as to not hurt his darling fiancé, but this was starting to become a pain in the neck. Might as well put an end to this already, even if it meant knocking you out.

In an instant, Gojo came at you. Time decelerated to a drag, and you forced your body to the side. With one swift motion, you evaded his grab for you. Following your movements, a sharp breath escaped you.

That’s when you observe the two of you had fully switched places. Finally, after dancing around him, your form was by the door, and it’s prime time to make an escape. To subtly inch toward the exit during the fight, that had been your plan all along.

Unfortunately, Gojo had long anticipated this ploy of yours. He simply played along because he could easily stop you. He raised a hand.

That’s when you call it. Limitless.

Gojo was going to close the gap and catch you. You wouldn’t be able to hit him. It was over.

Though, there was no fearful look in your eyes. They were stern and full of conviction. “That notion… I'll veto it.” You declare softly.

Silence followed your words. There was still a large gap of space between you two. What should've happened was a deletion of space, there was nothing of the sort. Caught off guard by this revelation, Gojo stopped and furrowed his brows slightly in confusion. His outstretched hand dropped about an inch.

What just happened?

His split second bewilderment opened a window of opportunity to you. Taking advantage of his stunned disposition, you spun on your heel and took off running out of the building.

Thankfully, you got the feeling in your leg back in the nick of time. You ran away.

A sigh escaped your lips. Back pressed against the side wall of the locked bathroom stall, you stared at the tile for a moment. The women's restroom of this coffee shop was empty, the only sound being the constant hum of the ventilation. Once you believed you were ready, you delved into your pocket and took out a card. Flipping it over, you read the printed numbers and inputted them into your burner phone. It was only a few seconds of ringing when the other line picked up.

You lowered the card. "I'm looking for a Hoover Max Extract Pressure-Pro Model 60."

It was burning hot in the car, so you had the windows rolled down. The cool wind blew your hair back, a reinvigorating feeling to the senses. You were driving down a long stretch of road. No other cars or people in sight. The yellow baked sun highlighted the dry, sandy grass patches surrounding you that seemed to go on for miles. With one hand on the wheel, you pushed up your sunglasses before resting your arm on the window of your SL Mercedes. Traveling to a new country was a whole different ballpark, but you were going to make it work. After being cooped up in a stuffy cargo plane, the open road was a sigh of relief.

Growing up, you and Gojo went to the same schools together to Jujutsu High. This meant he knew your sorcerer abilities pretty well. As far as he knew, your curse ability boiled down to energy manipulation.

Although the ability is labeled as ‘energy,’ the underlying truth was that's only the surface level explanation. There's more to it. The true extent of your abilities was kept a secret, thanks to your discreet, privileged family. As a child, you were told you had been graced with intense power. Though, you were vowed to keep quiet about the secret art you had.

The power to negate power.

In order to perfect it, you’ve been training it all your life. Surprisingly enough, this was the first time you’ve had a sincere reason to use it. For the binding vow that accompanies it is concerning.

At the price of negating forces of nature, altering the flow of destiny, an suitable exchange must be made. By contingency, the exchange offers up a functioning part of your body. A fair trade.

“To negate something means to willingly negate a piece of you,” your mother would tell your younger self.

The moment you cancelled Gojo’s Limitless, you had lost the feeling in one of your legs. It had gone numb, like a useless piece of plastic. In that state, you wouldn’t be able to move too fast. Thankfully, it came back quickly so you could make your escape.

For that reason, it was a double edged sword. Dangerous, but handy. You’d have to keep on your toes for the rest of your life, and you’d have to keep up your physical fighting, but as far as sorcery goes… Gojo can’t touch you. And you… can certainly hit him.

Thanks to your ability… you were able to escape him that day.

It was incredible. Being able to take control of your life, gave you a rush that you’d never think of ever having.

Once you escaped, you did everything you could to discreetly change your identity. Using your leftover riches from your family name, you were able to call in a person to help you ��disappear.’ Gojo would never be able to track you. And with that, (Y/N) (L/N) vanished off the face of the earth. She was gone.

It was a nice, sunny day. You were relaxing at home.

It's been three years since then. By now, you should try to settle down, right? However, your cautiousness made you hesitant. If Gojo ever did come for you, the last thing you wanted was for someone to get caught in the crossfire. Like Nanami.

Upon reminiscing, you frown in realization. You never did find out anything about Nanami’s disappearance, didn’t you? Maybe he was dead after all. It wouldn't shock you if it turned out Gojo made him vanish. It'd line up with how creepy he had been thus far.

You offered him a small prayer in your mind. Hopefully he was at peace, wherever he was now.

After that, you went out onto the backyard porch. The crashing waves of the ocean ahead always set you at ease. The warm sun heated your skin. Leaning against the wooden railing, you closed your eyes, and lost yourself to the sound of nature.

"What a lovely sight." The sudden voice made you jump. What scared you the most was not that it terminated your solitary without warning, but that it took you years to forget about that cadence, until now.

Standing a few feet away on the platform, leaning against the railing, was a forbidden sight. A man that shouldn't exist in your little safe paradise. Somehow, he got here undetected, past all of your locks and security cameras.

Gojo turned to you with a charming smile. As if this was a reunion between two old friends. In a malevolent way, it was. "Though you could do much better than this, it's a nice place."

Remaining silent, you didn't say his name. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

How did he find you? Your benefactor, with no ties to the Gojo clan, changed your records, your appearance, and virtually anything that had to deal with your identity. Not a single trace was left. And yet, here he stood in your home.

Why couldn't he just leave you alone?

There were plenty of women out there he could easily have. Any of them would be happy to grant his desires, or even replace you as his estranged wife. You didn't understand why he insisted on having you.

"Why won't you give up already?" You asked calmly, an apathetic look in your eyes. At least three years have passed since you escaped the shackles of your predetermined live. Plenty of time for him to move on and find someone else. In a way, hiding was supposed to be your form of encouragement.

Between the two of you, he was much more stubborn. Arrogance paved the way for greed, and he refused to lose when it came to anything. A man with the mentality of a spoiled child. Such entitlement of course, extended to you. He didn't give up because he didn't want anyone else. Letting you go and moving on was too easy. Why settle for something he can get with ease, when it was much more exciting to chase what he can't have?

"I've already told you, (Y/N). Millions of times over…" He stepped closer while you retreated back. "I love you." His voice was warm and genuine.

"And it's a lie." You retorted with a razor-like glare. If he truly cared as much as he says, he would let you go. He wouldn't still be here. It was a selfish act, not one out of love. Perhaps he did a long time ago, but his sentimental emotions were corrupted by his egotism. "If you loved me, you'd leave me be."

"(Y/N). Why are you so selfish?" He asked, and you paused. As if a switch had been flipped, his expression grew cold. "Running away from your family, running away from me, and running away from us. You had a good life, and became a powerful sorcerer. Why would you throw that all away? For cowardice? For your insecurities?"

He held up his hand. A hopeful, promising shine was in his eyes. "I came here because I refuse to give up on you. I care about you. Come back with me, and I promise to help you. We'll get through this together. I'll make you happy." He proposed with a warm smile.

A pit formed in your stomach. Even now, he's still trying to manipulate you. Twisting the narrative to belittle your desire for freedom as an insecurity. Justifying his stalking and chasing after you as some sort of savior situation. That your autonomy was something that needed to be fixed. If you weren't so disgusted, you could see yourself laughing at the absurdity of it all. "No. I don't want to go anywhere with you." You gave him your answer.

"Aaah… that's not the right answer." He sighed with a hint of amusement. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he turned his back to the railing. Then he faced you and held out his hand.

He tried to use his ability, but you were quick to stop him. Your arm went limp, but you raised your leg. Kicking him as hard as you could, he was sent flying through the wall. He quickly recovered and got back up.

He dashed forward, and you swiftly dodged out of the way. You got a few good hits in, since he was wary to not use Limitless in excess against you. Now that he couldn't use it to protective himself, everything was fair game. You threw anything you could that was in the house. Lamps, décor, and even furniture. He dodged most of them.

"Enough with this, (Y/N)!" He called out to you. The house was nearly destroyed from all the fighting. Gojo grumbled under his breath. Now that he was aware you could nullify his ability, he had to get creative.

Suddenly, he disappeared from your vision. Heart racing in your chest, you glanced around the room and kept your guard up. There was no running outside, because he could be waiting at the exit.

You turned and sensed something. With your energy magic, you charged the tv to make it explode. Gojo emerged from the shadows and came at you. He was using his Limitless. You had no choice but to nullify it and prepare to counterattack, but suddenly, your mind went blank.

Just now, you had rolled the dice, and yielded the worst possible results. The worst part to neutralize… your brain. It made you lose.

When consciousness came back to you, Gojo was holding you in a tight grip. Pointed at your neck, the tip an inch away from your skin, was a syringe.

Gojo was breathing heavily. Pressing his built chest into your back, you could hear him in your ear. It was a good effort you put up against him, but now it was over. At last, he had you. "Let's go home, shall we?" He hummed with delight.

Before he could move, you snapped your fingers. A explosion of smoke erupted from your body, and the mass coated the air like a screen. You threw your head back, crashing into his face. His grip weakened slightly and you stomped on his foot with all your might, and jabbed your elbow into his abdomen. With a grunt of pain, he fully released you. Not wasting any time, you ran forward and dashed out the back door.

You spun around to see him emerge from the smoke to give chase. Reaching a hand into your pocket, you darted to the edge of the porch. You vaulted over wooden railing and jumped off. In your hand was a small device. You pressed the button.

A large explosion blew up your beloved home. There was a loud, thunderous crash. Debris flew in all directions, and the source was consumed in fire. Once your feet landed onto the sandy beach, you took off running.

On the run yet again. All the money you spent on disappearing the first time had significantly depleted your sources, and nearly the rest had just gone up in flames. You'd have to get creative with your next disappearance, for whatever time you had left.

As you were running, you suddenly stumbled and halted in place. The dizzy spell was so faint, it took you a second to recognize it. During that fight, the syringe must've touched you.

The unknown drug he gave you… you had no idea how much time you had until you passed out. However much time you had, it most likely wasn't enough to hide where you couldn't be found. All of your options were drying up.

Frozen, you stared at the ground. A blank expression haunted your tired features as you fixated on the gravel at your feet.

Was this it? It's all over?

Closing your eyes, you took a shaky breath. It's not. With your remaining strength, you continued running.

Gojo's manipulative speech to you, at first you completely dismissed it as nothing but deceptive garbage. It was bred on twisting your actions to make him seem like the victim. A gaslighting trap, to warp your perspective of reality, and convince you to return to him. Almost like the domains he put his enemies in. At least, that's what you originally thought. After reflecting upon it, you realized that there was some truth to his words. Even when fabricating lies, there will always be a hint of truth hiding in the cracks.

Maybe he was right.

All you've done is run away. In your youth, you fled from living a normal life to become the perfect child your parents wanted. At the expense of your childhood. You ran away from mistakes and imperfections to strive for greatness. Once that was over, you ran away from your family when they needed you most. Then you ran away from Gojo, from your relationship and your engagement. Here you were, proving him right by running away again.

If you kept going, you'd never be able to stop running. This track you set yourself upon, it was an endless one. A nonstop cycle of running on a wheel, with no destination. Gojo, while rendered vulnerable for the moment, was still immortal in the grand scheme of things. He held too much power. Untouchable and relentless, he'll be chasing you forever.

Perhaps… it was time to stop.

When you finally came to a halt, you were near the edge of a cliff. Below, the gathering ocean, crashing against the rocks. The comforting sound you had come to admire. The sun was setting in the sky, and the stars were finally revealing themselves. You've always wanted to come here, but you never found the opportunity.

"(Y/N)…" Gojo called your name. Though he sounded tired, there was a hint of teasing to it. It was the end of the line, after all. Even if you tried to jump, he could catch you. This game of tag had finally reached it's conclusion. "It's over. There's no need for this."

Silently, you met his gaze. The light breeze swept your hair as you stood still. A few seconds passed when you eventually parted your lips. "You're absolutely right." You said with a faint smile and soft eyes. "I'm done with you. Farewell, Satoru."

A bold choice of words. As much as he rather wouldn't, Gojo decided he'd have to hurt you, just so you couldn't run away anymore. Upon stepping back, you suddenly found yourself in a new space. The area around you was a celestial realm, a starry prison. He called his Limitless, and cemented you inside a domain. This way, you couldn't evade him. Even if you nullified it, he could just cast it again and again until you gave up.

So, he didn't know you were on the verge of collapsing. That was perfect.

Once more, you opened your eyes wide. They began to glow. Channeling all of your curse energy, you took his power, and turned it off.

Upon doing so, there was a sharp pain in your chest. Blood stopped pumping and your breath slowed to a cease. It was then that you lost feeling in your head, then your body. Falling back, you lost your balance and went over the edge. Your vision was growing blurry, and everything felt cold. Faintly, you could feel your body falling.

Cancelling his ability wasn't the ultimate goal. The consequences were. To negate all of his powers at once, you offered up the most important function of your body. The heart of the machine. It was held for as long as you could, and you made it.

Finally, you were away from him. To the one place where he couldn't get you. It might've been one last run, but it was something you did of your own volition. Nobody told you what to do, and you freely made your choice. Maybe Gojo could have given you a promising life, but you would never be happy. This outcome was what satisfied you. Your legs had grown tired from running, and now you could finally rest.

rip girlie

i like how at the start i was trolling but at the end it just got sad :')

dividers: cafekitsune

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[proboblynotstriaght]

I put far too much effort into my shitposting and screenshot taking...

Oh well! you all seem to enjoy them! And I like having all my best screenshots in a place that doesn't take up a crazy amount of space in my computer!!

As usual past the cut there are spoilers for episode 40 but I try to keep it away from any major spoilers

(also psst, @raeemar this is for you! your reblog made my day!)

Let's get into Episode 40!!!! Rich : The bean footage is a DM thing I can't say it! ||| Mike : eeeeeehhhh we can change it?

Bro bonding moment, bullying lornings edition

Twig : *explaining fae deals and how to make better deals* |||| Gricko : *not paying attention*

Nikkie : *doing a fantastic Torbek impression!* ||| A++ Nikkie Torbeks voice is hard

"Twig we haven't run a successful business in all the 8 years-" "Woah now!" uh oh! the couple is Fiiiighting

"Think of the margins we'll have on the Displacer Beast piss"

Frost : So are we going to kill these fucker or what?

"I guess that makes sense... fucking nerd"

"I knew a guy who would make and sell this kinda stuff, 5 people died it was a whole thing in the news and everything" "Well how many people did he sell it to" "Like... 5"

"Well, I'm just going to say... shit that was funny"

"How long did it take those goblins to die?" "the last one lingered... for a good three months"

Twigsy, blacked out from all the alcohol, and flailing around as Gideon picks her up

His face haunts my dreams...

Derek : *a punny name for the drink* || Gricko : that's not very good

Frost and Kremy are drunk, Gricko and Gideon are trying to be the smart ones for once

"Frost you realize that you've been writing with a chicken leg, and what you thought was parchment, is now clearly human skin" "Well, I've completed page one of my cookbook, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom"

"He is continuing to do whatever Torbek does" "Pump his fists" "NO HE DOES NOT"

Grickos imitation of Gideon, I just need you to know that Mace is laughing so hard that it's not actually audible.

This man is laughing so hard he is completely silent and shaking, I'm genuinely concerned for this mans health

Derek : It doesn't even give Gricko a little wink? Like John Void at the end of Anaconda?

I love when Derek makes a joke because they are funny, but also he's almost laughing himself as he's telling the joke

Richie : I'm sorry I thought he was saying something else

guys it took me like four trays to get the screenshot of his face, IT'S SO FUNNY

MIke in Gricko's voise : Gimmie that Bussay

"The Stream Kill-inator" "beep beep beep"

Husband moments be like. FRosty really likes to irritate Kremy about his hat huh

SHUT THE STREAM DOWN

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I don't understand most of the references they make but I like how hard they all laugh at them

Derek telling a ridiculous story of how he had too watch the same movie twice in one day and he hated the movie both times

Nikkie : *Horrifying description of Torbek eating one of the Lornlings* Just kidding that doesn't happen!

Singing : It's Torbek It's Torbek, Everybody hates Torbek

Part 2 of this post is one the way! These posts keep getting longer and longer

Edit : Part 2 is here!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760423614759714816/part-2-of-my-episode-40-screenshots-despite-andy?source=share

[i-want-tennis-ball]

HAPPY TENNISVERSARY!!! 🎾🎉😝

And, thank you!

When this blog started, never in a million years could I have guessed what it would become. I thought, at most, a few people would come by, laugh at me for like a week, and then forget me and move on to the next big gimmick blog. And, most definitely, that’s where I would be if not for the lovely, dedicated, passionate people I ran into.

Here’s a quick history lesson, with many thankyous scattered within..

It all really started when my lovely friend Sam, who doesn’t use tumblr, suggested I create a new gimmick blog where every day all I said was “I want ___” (with the tags, of course, all reading, “I want ___”.) I decided on tennis ball, and for about a week I vigilantly workee to ensure a tennispost every day. And things were good, then, if a little quiet, until I decided to start a reblog chain with myself, @sophiamoment , where I’d ask “what the fuck is your blog” and then my side blog would just say “I want tennis ball”.

Now, as you could probably tell, I didn’t put too much care into the post at the time. I broke character, forgot to edit out the heaps of evidence that we were the same person, replied to my own post way too many times, but THEN.

My first mutual, @somewhere-south-of-neutral , tagged @i-say-ok , who FUCKING RESPONDED. (guess what they said lmao)

This brought lots of attention to that particular post, first by the I say Ok community, then by another gimmick blog reblogging, and then by THAT gimmick blog’s community, and so on. To this day my one goal in life is to relive that pure excitement, joy, and just a little horror I felt when I saw just how far that post was breaking beyond containment.

Honestly, if you’d asked me then, I’d assume that from there my blog shoulda died, but then. ohoHOH.

A blog whose URL I forget going by A Tennis Ball responded.

I promptly created @another-tennis-ball in response.

And then things went, as my gramma would say, hog wild.

Today, we’ve got a masterlist of tennis ball roleplay blogs longer than my list of flaws. We’ve got active, inactive, sometimes-active accounts, all of whom have had fun just.. talking, pretending to be tennis balls, just having a good time. (Even my parents got involved!) There’s a discord, a lore doc, an upcoming crossover w/ a DND campaign my friend wrote(?!)

And, here we are today.

All I can really say is THANK YOU!

Thank you to those of you who passed by and spread the one infamous “what the fuck is your blog” post. Thank you to everyone who’s gotten involved and paved the way to this community. THANK YOU TO MARC, WHOS URL I FORGET, WHO IS CARRYING THE LORE RN!!

I love you all so much, thank you for being here & turning my shitpost into a reality.

[raayllum]

i desperately need your sweetest headcanons of ez and rayla being Siblings

Mandatory Rayla&Ezran brotp tag drop here & first some rambly meta cause like, a lot of this is based on the concept(s) of Ezran and Rayla fundamentally being more like each other than either of them are like Callum

Like they both grew up friendless (whereas Callum seems to have a lot more ease in actually interacting with new people & I've always HC'd him having less friends out of choice, cause those potential ppl didn't get along wit his brother) and feeling perpetually different, they both (like Claudia) take on their parents' previous paths and feel the weight of it. They also tend to have a lot of similar esque insecurities and hangups ("I feel like I'm letting everyone down" 3x03 —> "I failed them, I let them all down" 3x04 / "It's not fair you have to go through this alone" 5x02 —> "I knew I had to be strong alone" in 5x04 / self blame tendencies with "You knew? I'm an idiot! I should've figured it out" 2x08 —> "Ugh, I'm such an idiot. I should've figured it out" 1x09) and are both very much bleeding hearts. They're also willing to pivot away from prior missions (bringing Zym home) for causes they see as more worthy in a lot of ways — going home to rule (the individual collective) and freeing Phyrrah (the individual stranger) — even if that separates them from others and/or puts them more at risk, cause they're just loyal to causes and ideals and self-imposed responsibilities tethered to those concepts like that? I love them

Like they both are like Callum — Ezran is emotionally open and inclined towards vulnerability, like him, which Rayla is not, and Callum and Rayla, esp in arc 1, take on responsibilities that Ezran do not & all their stuff with adoptive dads and communication etc etc. — but they're also more similar to each other than they are to him. More on that here & here + bonus S5 hammering that in more than ever (Rayla going with Ezran's plan in 5x05 anyone?)

Now onto the actual headcanons

Rayla doesn't have a lot of patience for games (cards, chess, etc.) and will be a sore loser/give up when playing with just about anyone else (including Callum) but she can never say no to Ezran over it, and he's so earnest/having such a great time she can never be a total grump when they do play games together

Ezran is the one who primarily took care of her Shadowpaw, for obvious reasons, in the castle stables until she returned, hence why sweetie pie was waiting for her & ready for the Lux Aurea trip

The little archangel lunaris on his backpack was absolutely chosen with her in mind <3

Both Rayla and Ezran possess an abundance of faith in other people, and this is shown best when they're being supportive of or defending one another ("She'll know what to do" —> "He can do this, we have to believe in him" —> "She's alive. And wherever she is, she loves you too")

Rayla weaving a little braid into his hair and having Ezran weave one into hers as well because braids are for love and family, and they are certainly both to one another

This shitpost, which is really just them getting stuck on and continually adding to dumb bits for each other to laugh at

Playing pranks back and forth on Soren and sometimes on Callum

Mostly they just tag team chores like "making sure Callum has eaten and slept and left his study recently" / keeping their favourite mage out of his head

Rayla giving Ezran stealth lessons and Ezran having Rayla bake jelly tarts with him

They always insist on being on the same team when it comes to snowball fights at the Banther Lodge

Ez loves to infodump about certain things and Rayla loves to let him, especially since his trains of thought and ramblings are a bit easier for her to follow than his brother's (most of the time)

Rayla having Ezran teach her how to notice things about illusion animals so she can have an easier time telling the difference (Soren teases her about it and she socks him in the stomach)

This isn't really so much of a headcanon as it is a canon observation but in battle sequences Callum doesn't really usually focus (outside of when he's using said magic to protect Ezran) on getting Ezran away from the danger, instead trusting Rayla to do so — and she always does (1x06, 1x08, 1x09, 2x04, 5x09)

Because she's just his friend and not his subject (or for now, an official member of his council the same way), Ezran finds himself seeking out when he just needs to have dumb kid fun, and Rayla is always down to help him

On that note she's very good at knowing when he needs space vs when he's okay being fussed over (Callum, Opeli) and telling people that even when he may not be able to express it himself because non-verbal times / feeling overwhelmed

Whenever they go on roadtrips in the future, Rayla does her best to bring special snacks around for him (and teach him how to forage, which animals can help him with too)

Eventually when Ezran is a little older, Soren needles him about learning how to defend himself, and Ezran dreads having to hold a sword and initially refuses. But Rayla plops down beside him and talks him through it and reaffirms that they just always want to make sure he's safe, and that's what gets him to come around to the idea

Ezran and Rayla both being physically affectionate people — Rayla slinging her arm along his shoulders, Ezran often grabbing her hand as a sign of support (most often the one she was going to lose to the binding) and squeezing gently, like a reminder that they're both still here and everything's okay and/or going to be alright

Rayla tears up when she realizes that Ezran is finally taller than her, much to his mild annoyance and amusement

Ezran helps Rayla with her proposal to Callum, and does not tell her (or his brother) that Callum is also planning to propose lmao

[dorkfruit]

i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

[tunamayuuu]

“i actually stopped being into bsd for a full ass year and ever since that shin soukoku doodle i made, it comforted a big part of me that felt horrible everytime i'd post bsd onto socmed knowing my more passionate works didn't get as much engagement as shitposts ahaha...”

• Oh yeah I remember you mentioning that somewhere and tbh I get that it happened to me too but with Kny (⁠〒ω〒) It's unfair, and upsetting, the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme–in this fandom, but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work!! You put a lot of care into it and your hard work bears fruit to beautiful art! I can't really blame the people for wanting some relief from the depressive canon through memes and shitposts, but I also can't deny that it does sting.

“the kny-ified bsd au was and still is an au project i want to keep working on!! i have a looong list of the full cast, it's just that i always get side quests and wanting to draw OTHER things and getting into OTHER new medias i wanna draw and yeah that's why it's taken years for me to complete anything orz (i have plenty of files of the au that i never posted because they're all unfinished or uncolored and i thought i won't do my au justice if none of them were colored yk?)”

• I felt that on a spiritual level istg ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ It's understandable, and imo drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun. (I get it, and I honestly admire your dedication to give the best you have for your works, so take your time with your projects, I know you're working hard and I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away.)

“i'm not an inokana fan myself but i'd love to hear your take on them! i just wanted to draw kyokenji at that time ehehei will always say that rengokunikida was def not my idea. it was an idea from a bsd friend! they even explained to me how it could work and i never looked back”

• My take on inokana: They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience. Inosuke definitely has some form of appreciation for her skills and capabilities, and he'd definitely hold her in high regard in his own mountain king way. I don't know why, but a gut feeling tells me they'd agree on a lot of things for completely different reasons, and I suppose she'd humour him when he wants to go exploring in the forests because why not? Personal hc: they would've stayed by each other's side during recovery where Kanao would tell Inosuke more about Shinobu, and would also tell him the occult stories Shinobu always used to tell while Kanae covered her ears. Anyways yeah I care about them a lot. The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect.

“i'm actually not sure who would take murata's role in the au because we know next to nothing about canon tecchou. michizou already takes sabito's role so.....? ALSO I FINALLY GOT TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE! fukuchi is not urokodaki in this au! fukuchi takes kokushibo's role”

• we'll probably get backstory in the next few chapters when he melts so we'll possibly get an option for murata in the next two months. KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???

“jouno and fukuchi unfortunately do not interact in this au.. i'm so happy to see my au still getting love even after the years i've been on and off in activity! comments like these fill me with so much motivation to upkeep this au!”

• oh well, we can't have it all. I'm glad!! I will keep supporting and I'm excited for what's to come !!!

-anon called Grace

grace we have GOT to stop this yap contest (huge slash joking, i love these thank you)

"the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme"

literally my most popular post on this account is STILL the soukoku memes i made back in 2021. which i'm grateful for! yet at the same time, it's a little ironic i guess because i'm not crazy about soukoku or fukumori anymore :(

"but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work"

i am super grateful for the followers that have stuck with me throughout the years!! (yes i can recognize some of you in my notes haha) and i was honestly really comforted when i saw love for my traditional work in the reblogs and asks.. it genuinely healed a huge insecurity i had about my art...

"drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun"

i have a friend who's crazy abt one pairing in their account and they've kept it up for probably more than half a decade now? i just realized along the way that i can't be like that... i literally joined the community wanting to be a ranpoe acct but ahaha... i get interested in too many things...

"I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away"

uuu i've read this sentiment so many times on my account, and i'm always grateful... it brings me so much joy to see love for an au that's basically 2 years old now...

"They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience."

stop this. you're convincing me. you can't do this to me i'm already attached to too many pairings in kny PLEASE /j but fr though, this is such a sweet interpretation of their relationship! personally, i still see them as more platonic, or even queerplatonic if they're more committed to each other specifically... but that's just because i think inosuke being aroace would be silly...

"The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect."

what's crazy to me is the fact that my friend made that comparison two years ago. we never would have known kunikida would've been a donut too......

"KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???"

fantastic! because i think fukuzawa and fukuchi would make for amazing tsukiguni twins

super happy to hear from you again, grace!

[sapphire-weapon]

Final thoughts on Death Island.

First, the less serious and sometimes shitpost/meme shit:

spent a not-insignificant amount of this movie distracted by Leon’s body hair, which is not a thing I ever thought I’d say, but sweet Jesus it’s about damn time

RIP Chris’s tiger shirt. that thing ripped easier than one of Hulk Hogan’s tank tops, man.

I get that she’s a BOW or whatever, but it’s never not going to blow my mind that this series gets away with its darling male protagonist (Leon) punching a woman in the face on screen

in fact, it’s kind of wild that Maria’s only purpose for being in this movie is to just hunt Leon for sport. like she’s literally ONLY there to beat his ass. what a fuckin queen.

I’m not saying that it’s canon that Leon and Jill had sex at some point, perhaps multiple times, between RE5 and Death Island. I’m just saying they were very, very chummy and hands-on with each other, and Chris was seemingly absent from Jill’s life for those six years, so.

actually, you know what. there’s a non-zero chance Leon has actually banged the entire recurring cast by this point. except maybe Rebecca. because she’s smarter than the other three.

Leon and Chris are the most married they have ever been, holy shit they are so fucking married

my reaction to Leon repeatedly saying the word “terrorist” in this movie probably should not have been “oooh say it again~” but it was because “this is no ritual. it’s terrorism” is still the single most ridiculous line that has ever come out of that man’s mouth, and I really felt the absence of it in RE4make, so I’m glad its spirit still lives on

Chris is looking old, dude. he’s beat the fuck up.

but so is Leon. when I wasn’t distracted by Leon’s body hair, I was distracted by the lines around his mouth. so, Chris has obvious wrinkles forming around his eyes, and Leon has them forming around his mouth. but the girls are all pristine. mhm.

OK SO IS INFINITE DARKNESS CANON OR NOT BECAUSE DEATH ISLAND REAFFIRMS DEGENERATION AS CANON, BUT ID AND DEGEN CAN’T EXIST IN THE SAME REALITY DON’T MAKE ME PULL OUT THE FUCKING CORKBOARD AGAIN

Now, the more serious actual commentary:

it’s a little nuts to me how I keep seeing people in fandom say that Leon has no hint of depression in this movie. when Dylan is verbally dragging them all while they’re slowly succumbing to the T-Virus, both Chris and Claire clap back with affirmations that they believe in what they’re doing and that they’re doing the right thing. Leon... doesn’t. 

like, Dylan says to him basically “you're stuck in this horrible nightmare that keeps repeating because the people that you fight for put you through it on purpose because it serves their own ends, and it’s got you burnt out, but they just keep using you.” and Leon’s response is basically “I mean, you’re not wrong, but I don't exactly have a choice, so.”

he’s still stuck and trapped and resentful of his position, and he’s reached a point now where he’s just resigned himself to his fate. there’s very much a sense of inevitability about him, which is reinforced at the end when he tells Chris that this is just going to keep happening -- fuckers like Dylan are always going to keep coming back, because they always do.

the man shouldn’t have to be outwardly despairing and visibly drunk for people to pick up on his depressive mindset, but I guess I don’t know what I expected from this fandom.

Leon’s character was actually perfect in this movie. whoever wrote him this time around Gets It. he’s written the way that I write OG Leon and have been writing him for years. his humor-as-a-coping-mechanism is there without being obnoxious (which is where Damnation fucked up), his professionalism is there without being too serious (which is where Degeneration fucked up), his depressive mindset is there without fully consuming him (which is where Vendetta fucked up), and his latent anger at the state of things and at his life in general is there without feeling like it’s dysregulated (which is where Infinite Darkness fucked up).

so, for the anon who asked me what my favorite iteration of Leon is: the answer is Death Island. he is pitch perfect in this movie. straight up.

it did really catch my attention how the movie made it a point to call attention to Leon being burnt out. there’s just something about the way it happened that makes me feel like they’re setting up for Leon’s character to get retired in RE9. I don’t know why I think that, because it makes no sense from a business standpoint for him to be the first of the five to get retired, but. I dunno, man.

the only bit of weirdness in this movie was the whole Chris and Jill thing at the beginning that I already commented on. everything else in this movie was basically perfect. this is the best version of Claire we’ve seen since Code Veronica. like, hands down. Rebecca getting giddy and geeking out over beating the big monster with science could not have been more perfect. everything about Jill was excellent.

like, I have so few things to complain about re: this movie that I’m sitting here going “you know the mocap was kind of wonky in some spots” WHICH IS THE MOST ARBITRARY, NITPICKY SHIT EVER.

but like

I’m just going to throw this out there

but Dylan was super right.

he was so correct in a way that no RE villain has ever been correct ever in the history of this series. I kind of... spent some of this movie actually rooting for him. I was ready for him to kill the crew and wouldn’t have been mad about it if he did; I was like “fuck it, he’s right.” like, I was just sitting there like DRAG LEON AND CHRIS HARDER FOR LITERALLY BEING "THE MAN" DRAG THEIR ASSES FORCE THEM TO FEEL SHAME

in a lot of cases, a story is only as good as its villain, and Dylan being so right was a big part of the reason why this movie worked so well.

Wesker could never.

[mc-tummy-blur]

It’s been a whole year since I made this TSP:UD art, so I decided to remake it.

I have… a lot of thoughts about the original art piece… thoughts I’ll put under read more

Ko-fi

I don’t have a lot of followers, nor a lot of interaction on my art. So when I made the original shitpost meme art a year ago, it was a surprise to see it suddenly gain traction and rapidly get notes. It was exciting to see honestly.

It was so exciting to see that it got to my head, and it felt like I needed to make more art relating to The Stanley Parable, and also of shitpost meme quality. That other art didn’t get as much traction as the original did. But the notes from the original art piece kept getting bigger and bigger. I guess in a way the combo of not getting traction from that other art yet the rapid increase of the original art put me in an art block of some kind. Or left me feeling stuck creatively.

I began to resent the og art, as it was still getting notes and it put me in a creative rut. I didn’t wanna draw, or really didn’t know what I should draw and post onto here. Didn’t do anymore TSP:UD art either, I just didn’t have the creative drive for it. These feelings of resentment for that art and sadness that I was only getting traction for that, lasted for a while. Even when I was doing other art for other fandoms in the next months. It may seem ridiculous that some shitpost art had that much of an impact on my art in general, and I found it ridiculous too.

But, slowly, I began to accept that the shitpost art was going to keep getting notes for a good while. It’s a little over six thousand notes now. The acceptance helped me do other art that I found enjoyable to do, as I was doing it for myself again

I’m not sure what’s the main moral of me telling this, besides that you always gotta do art that’s for yourself and to not expect to get anything out of it

Also the irony is not lost on me that when creating fanart of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, a game that centers around the idea of what happens when we are so caught up in something because it was good/popular/made people laugh, and how it’s not healthy to just try to recapture that magic and expect it to get the same results because it’s just not possible, resulted in me having experience of making something so popular and wanting to recapture that experience again, and how future work felt more forced, and it was much harder to make, causing me to be in a rough mindset

It’s quite scary on how relatable The Narrator really is.

Anyway, onto some positive stuff, imma share a compilation of my favorite reactions to my og art.

And perhaps the best reaction/commentary that I think about constantly:

[jazzy-art-time]

Are there any fun interactions you think there’d be between the OG ocs versus their jarble variants? Aka the sluttyverse

SLUTTYVERSE..,, I’m lLOSING IT.,,,

but ACTUALLY ☝️🤓

YES I have thought about this before! Primarily for shitpost purposes.

UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I RAMBLE A BIT!!

Not EVERY jarble character but some off the top of my head that I’ve thought with this about!!!

Canon Alaxia VS Jarble Alaxia

In this scenario I have two possible ways it would go down:

Alaxia would assault J!Alaxia on sight. Like straight up begin beating Jalax UP. Canon would see him as weak and pathetic and want this man out of his sight.

OR

In a scenario where Canon is in a proper state of mind. I imagine they both would look at each other in a very exhausted and somber way with that token “….. you too?” Kind of manner. Both are very different people and in different situations, but both are equally haunted and ruined by Wem in some manner.

I eat that sad shit up I don’t care if it’s cliche!!

Canon Eden VS Jarble Eden

Much like Alax, both Canon and Jarble are very different from one another.

I imagine Canon would be like “wow.. your so pretty and sure of yourself… I envy that :( I could never pull those kinds of clothes off…”

And then Jarble would be very audibly disgusted with Canon. Like “this sad little man is supposed to be me? Where is your rage. Your fire!!” And would instantly put Canon into boot camp for Self Confidence and also belittle him the entire time.

Meanwhile Canon would have to listen to Jarble constantly complain about their problems and sit there like “my universe i had to struggle to become a god to save my universe from a plague. You didn’t get 300k likes on a Instagram post of food.” And have to listen to first world rich person problems with a 🙂 expression

Also Jarble would be absolutely FURIOUS that Canon has/gets so many partners while he remains maidenless

Canon Jody VS Jarble Jody

I think this one would be funny solely because of Jarble being a arcanine now. Which means that I can make this joke

Canon loves dogs and has a lot of dogs. Jarble loves lizards and has a lot of lizards.

I imagine they both would look at each other in silence like “so cool. So cool. So cool. So cool. So cool.” And be happy that they exist as their favorite animal in another universe.

They also would both find comfort in one another for things they go through. Unlike Alaxia who would find a depressing kinship, the Jody’s would find a happy and peaceful feeling knowing they aren’t alone. (If that makes sense)

Canon Etoile VS Jarble Etoile

Honestly they both would probably detest each other greatly!

Jarble would hate Canon for how they treat The Pinkies and various other circumstances. Because in Jarble Universe, they love the twins deeply and would never hurt them despite their flaws and circumstances. Unlike Canon who [PlotSpoiler].

Canon would hate Jarble just for the fact that they were with Wem and had a kid with him. Like Etoile can’t/doesn’t usually feel emotions, but in that moment of finding that information out I imagine that thing would be SEETHING

Also Canon would HATE Jarble’s hair. Constantly trying to rip it off like a wig.

Canon Solo VS Jarble Solo

They would fist fight on sight. Started by Canon.

He would hear Jarble talk about how he treats Jody ONCE and would leap at him and instantly start punching. Canon doesn’t care if that isn’t HIS Jody, he would hate how Jarble treats her.

If in a situation where they aren’t fighting, I imagine Jarble would be mortified by Solo’s clothing choices.

Jarble: hah. Nice set of bras, you bangin a lotta chicks? My man!

Canon: oh no. Those are mine actually.

Jarble: 😦

And also imagine that Jarble would be mildly jealous of Canon for having a band. Jarble didn’t get that opportunity growing up and would probably be envious.

Canon M VS Jarble M

Okay this one I’ve actually discussed with Fridge. In Jarble, Dax exists but as the Jarble universe’s Hatsune Miku.

Jarble is obsessed with Dax-sune Miku. Like obsessed like imagine the worst anime fan you know and that’s Jarble with DaxsuneMiku.

So I imagine upon meeting, Jarble would be like “WAIT. YOU GOT THE ACTUAL DAX? YOU ARE WITH THE REAL LIFE DAX? DAX IS A REAL CONCEPT? A REAL THING??”

Also I imagine Canon would be envious of Jarble for having a healthy and happy family. She wouldn’t show it and be supportive and happy for her, but overall just… mildly dead inside about it.

Also Jarble would try to show Canon any piece of cool looking technology and have to fight Canon to not eat it.

Canon Dysnomia VS Jarble Dysnomia

Honestly both wouldn’t think much of one another? Canon is used to Multiverse Madness level stuff and Jarble just… wouldn’t care. Like he is always unbothered.

Canon would probably take great pride in how Jarble is muscular. Like it isn’t him but also he would gloat about how he’s shredded in another universe.

ALTHOUGH. Canon would probably freak out when he learns about Jarble’s situationship with Eden. Like “wHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MESS AROUND WITH THAT THING??? WHAT?? THE WORST VERSION OF THAT MAN??” And would have a crisis over it.

Jarble would also be fascinated by what a Beholder is, as Jarble is not a beholder/they don’t exist there. Would 100% try to poke Canon’s eyeballs.

Canon Goddess VS Jarble Goddess

Would just talk about their children constantly and how happy they are to have them. But very loudly.

Like the loudest conversations known to mankind. They would be that annoying table at a restaurant.

They would be proud and think highly of each other. Also would have their kids play together a lot.

Canon Ryan VS Jarble Ryan

Literally just this image

-

THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!!!

You asked a simple easy question and I fucking rambled forever!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!! Hyperfixation upon your house !!!!

[justsomeoneunordinary]

i just had a 1000 iq brainfart right now.... Konan is Tsunade's secret daughter conceived by experimentation.

just hearme out here, Konan, by the time she died was 35 (accourding to google) and at the time, Tsunade was 54 (again, accourding to google), which means Tsunade could have had Konan when she was in her twenties however, i believe Tsunade would know is she had a kid, so my heory is that somene (either Orochimaro or Danzo or both) managed to somehow steal one or a few of TSunade's eggs and get them artificially insemanted into a surrogate womb, which somehow managed to end up in Ame where Konan was born.

what really ties my theory is Konan's paper power, because paper is made of wood, Hashirama had wood release, Konan was really powerful, Hashirama was really powerful, Konan had really good chakra control, Tsunade also has great chakra control and in the world of Naruto where you blood lineage palys a huge part in how powerfull you either are or can be, those things add too much for Knona to not be related to Hashirama.

that or Hasirama was a man whore before he married Mito, and had a dozen or so bastards and one of them ended up in Ame, a centuru down the line later and we have Konan.

I know what you mean, anon. I once made a shitpost myself pointing out that Konan must have a milder form of the mokuton. It really doesn't make sense otherwise, right? Konan only fights with paper, she even creates paper out of thin air, but paper isn't an element, so that shouldn't be possible - unless, it's either an own kekkei genkai (in which case it would be a little weird that it's never mentioned as such) or a milder form of the mokuton. It doesn't add up otherwise.

That being said, I don't like the thought of Konan being a secret child Tsunade's born from experiments neither know of. That theory makes me uncomfortable, to be honest. If anything I imagine Danzou/Orochimaru using the Hashirama cells to experiment with, although that doesn't quite add up either, since 1. Orochimaru didn't work with Danzou back then yet, and 2. Danzou would've naturally kept the child in root and not let her roam free in Ame.

The closest possibility, if anything, is Madara being the one to do such an experiment, since he 1. had Hashirama cells and 2. was already in Ame to put his Rinnegan eyes into infant Nagato for safekeeping (I'm still not over this, literally what the fuck, Madara), so he may as well have added some Hashirama cells to another child just for shits and giggles...

Any of these theories is super far-fetched either way, but Kishimoto is the one who gave Konan a power that literally defies the rules he set in his own fucking universe. At least he could've attempted to explain Konan's paper no jutsu, but nooo, he really went into this "head empty, cool powers go brrr" and ignored the rules of ninjutsu he himself created.

Actually, the closest possibility is that Konan is a descendant of the Senju, and that's why she has a milder form of the mokuton. That makes far more sense than the other theories lol