#a little personal heh

[sneakyswag]

2, 16, and 20 for the writer's ask game?

2. Is there a least favorite character or title you dislike writing for?

Hm. Pretty hard to say. All the stuff I write about is important to me in a way. I’d say Twisted Desire, which is a fic based off of [this post] I’m STILL writing the prologue for. I want it to be absolutely beautiful and as presentable as possible. I know writing isn’t meant to be easy, but I want to tone it up a notch by using techniques and ideas I’ve never used before. Executing all of that is exhausting, yes, and I’m only half way through planning the entire story. (It will perhaps contain 20-30 chapters, depending on how much I decide to write). Characters though? Probably just a side character I need to write two lines for but since it’s only two lines it has to be perfect like sorry I don’t make the rules. (I’m being held at gunpoint by myself).

16. Any ideas you wanted to write about, but never did?

Yeesh, lots! A lot of them are shower thoughts if I’m being completely honest. I had an idea years ago about Bass (Forte) and Dark Pit kind of being best friends or roommates due to their similar personalities, but now that I think of it, they’d probably loathe each other. Also had an idea of Bass owning a bike shop or a mechanics shop and working there. I might write it in the future. It was supposed to be a BassRoll fic because man I love that ship it’s hilarious. Also had a lot of Axl, X and Zero angst but man ask my mutuals, I’m always talking about angst, hah! Also some fluffy ones here and there, but you know, just couldn’t get around it. If I haven’t written it, it’s because I haven’t written it down on the nearest piece of paper or notes app and forgot. So yeah :D

20. What’s one thing you want your readers to know about you?

This might get just a tiny bit personal but it’s fine but just in case yk.

Anything that I write, whether it be angst, fluff, adventure, etc, is based off of a real experience in a way. People tell me that my angst hits them hard or is so devastating, or that my fluff is so adorable it makes them melt. Truth is, stuff I write, is still I can’t feel anymore. I write about anger at times, I don’t get angry a lot. I write about sadness a lot, I can’t remember the last time I cried. Here’s something I tell myself a lot: I draw and write stuff to make characters feel things that I can’t feel. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel sad, I do feel angry, I just don’t express it. Also on a lighter note, I love reblogs, likes, comments, random questions, participating in little games with my mutuals. It’s all so fun! So yeah, you can ask me anything. I love messing around on here!

[nem0-nee]

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both." - Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince

One doesn't consider the loneliness such fear brings. What use is all the power in the world when you're lonely at the top?

[2aceofspades]

Afterparty

~Lil extra bonus comic doodle thing~

(:

I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your boys @/kathaynesart and @/cupcakeslushie and redrew ✨this moment✨ gah I was excited and inspired

[ravewing]

i happened to open reddit tonight and why the fuck is the first thing i see someones fanart of darkstalker smirking with like a rose in his mouth captioned with how they find him hot . hello friend what ???

[hacked-by-jake]

Might regret - might delete but I felt good wearing this so I'm going to show it.

According to the motto: Fuck it :)

But psst, don’t tell anyone

OK byeeee 🫣

[dormiloncito]

some people here (not you my beautiful esteemed mutuals) live in some sort of alternate reality. or perhaps you don't live at all bc what is this 😭😭😭

[quotidian-oblivion]

for the Melrin ask - Worst thing you think Merlin ever did. im so curious about this one

I had to think so much about this one too.

I don't know. I love Merlin, he's my favorite character. I justify everything he does, even if it's bad. That's what happens with any favorite fictional characters.

I don't want to say "Not telling Arthur sooner" or "Mistrusting Mordred" or "Poisoning Morgana" or anything of the like because, to be fair, that's a given. It's something a lot of us will lament about. Mainly because the writers did not do their job properly (imo).

I'd say, the worst thing he did, to me, is be passive.

I'm bringing up my own values and morals here because I believe that Merlin ruined himself and all of Albion by being passive. By listening to the dragon and not doing his own research. By being whatever Arthur needed him to be. By taking things upon himself. By not trusting others because that's what he was told.

If Merlin had been a little more assertive and a little more sure of himself and what he wanted, then the show would have gone on in an entirely different direction. But he's passive. For the majority of the show. The biggest time where he's not is in the first scene where he challenges Arthur because he wanted to stay true to his ideals and values which was to stand up against bullies who prey on the ones who can't defend themselves against them.

If he had been more assertive, he would have told Arthur earlier, he wouldn't have poisoned Morgana, he would have trusted Mordred or even Gwaine and the others more.

But he let himself be led by Destiny and Kilgharrah and Gaius and whoever else advised him rather than take some time to think things through first. Like Arthur does.

The thing about Merlin and Arthur here is that Arthur really is bolder than Merlin, but in a different way. He is bold in a way Merlin lacks, which is with practical and tactical matters. He questions Merlin's judgement, questions his father's judgement, Gaius's judgement. Agravaine was a main villain for season 4 because of his perfect ways of manipulation and deceit in a way that it got past Arthur's critical thinking and assertiveness. Arthur doesn't take things at face value and is willing to consider different ways things can go and the show mostly shows that when it comes to questioning Merlin's judgement (like about Agravaine and the siege tunnels and about Gwen at first etc). But in the first few seasons, he questioned his father's judgement a lot too but the fandom mainly focuses on Merlin's opinions vs Arthur's even though he and Uther had met head-on-head multiple times.

Arthur doesn't take things at face value which is why it's possible for so many magic reveal fics to look and be accurate.

But Merlin does. Merlin takes a lot of things at face value. He took Kilgharrah's sayings at face value, he took Gaius's (good-hearted but misguided) warnings at face value. He took what the druids said, what Edwin Muirden said, what Julius Borden said, what that druid seer in the Diamere episode said, and so many others at face value. Just accepted it without thinking much about it and went forward.

Don't get me wrong, Merlin has a very strong moral compass and moral thinking. But he lacks critical thinking. Something which Arthur doesn't lack. They complete each other in this way.

But if we're not looking at all that then I'd say the worst thing I believe Merlin ever did was poison Morgana because- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MERLIN, DID YOU NOT THINK OF ANY OTHER FUCKING SOLUTION???? HOW ABOUT GETTING MORGANA OUT OF THE CASTLE? HUH? WHAT THEN? WHAT ABOUT TELLING HER THAT HEY, I'M GONNA POISON YOU BUT DW I HAVE THE ANTIDOTE SO THAT I CAN REVIVE YOU AGAIN WHEN MORGAUSE COMES AND LIFTS THE SPELL BC I KNOW THAT YOU DONT WANT THIS EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK UTHER SUCKS. I MEAN, THE USED THAT PLAN SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY, WHY COULDN'T THEY USE IT THIS ONCE???????

[positivewlwvibes]

straight people will ask "omg how did you that you were gay???" expecting something like, "omg britney spears was so hot in the toxic music video" or "oh, i got ahold of my parent's hbo account and boobs"

when really the answer is usually something really gay like gold diggers: the secret of bear mountain (1995) or like... gillian anderson in the x files

[bigbrainbiology]

1 hour rkgk <3

[gorillaxyz]

sighs really loudly

[amethystpath-writes]

Test Me

NOT A PR0MPT

Hi! I was wondering if u could do a bit where the hero breaks into the villains mansion/layer to get some plans or something but the plans are in the villains ✨bedroom ✨and the villain is in the ✨shower ✨ and they catch the hero. A little ✨spicy ✨ u know? If u don’t want to do this I completely understand no pressure! Thxxxxxx😁

Mm. If you were honest about wanting the spice, I promise you are going to soak this up. Not explicit, but quite easily suggestive. Hide your phones. If you think you shouldn’t read it 🤷‍♀️ then don’t.

******

A lockpick, a desk, and a disk drive. Hero’s team had gathered the information on Villain’s base; now it was up to Hero to gather the plans hidden within. It was right in front of her- a sparkling silver lock just waiting to be sprung by deft hands- her hands.

"I wish you would have broken in sooner. I would have asked you to join me."

“It’s what I was here for,” Hero blurted, and she hadn’t even bothered to look at him as she hid her hand behind her back. Looking away from the locked drawer, though, she found herself losing her breath. “I-I wanted to see you.” Not like this, she wanted to elaborate, but…hell, she couldn’t think.

Villain was in a towel- and only a towel.

Maybe if he thought she were interested in him, then she might make it out alive. Would he kill her? Hero wasn’t sure.

Regardless, this was much more of Villain than what she had wanted to see, and she didn’t know what to do.

“I have something to tell you,” she played on.

“You want me to believe you came here to confess feelings?” Villain laughed and smiled something toothy and arrogant. “I wish I could believe you, Hero, but here’s the truth: you wouldn’t know what to do if I returned your flirtations.”

“I’m sure I would,” Hero insisted. “Test me.”

Somehow, Villain’s smile became wider, more cunning, more handsome, more capable of making Hero regret being here. “Oh, I don’t think you want that.” He spoke in a rasp, one challenging and impossible to ignore.

“What makes you think I can’t take it?” Even she noticed her own voice shake. “Is it because I’m the quiet one, only there to do everyone’s dirty work? I can’t have my own interests and explorations, Villain?” Anything to invite her stay, to give her time to initiate a plan B.

He hummed politely. “Fine, then. What would you do if I told you that that sneaky little outfit flatters you? That black exemplifies those gorgeous curves, and harshens the edges of your cheeks?”

Her cheeks, as Villain had pointed out, now grew pink, though surely in the dark he couldn’t see that. At least, she desperately hoped not.

No one ever paid her compliments. She was quiet and reserved, and she did her job. She was nothing interesting, nothing worth complimenting, and nothing to waste a breath on. That was what she told herself anyway. But here Villain was, standing half-naked with nothing but a towel, telling her how pretty she appeared to him…even if it were only a lie to toy with her.

He could say nothing else that would fluster her more. Or so she thought.

“What if I told you how badly I wanted to grab that wrist from behind your back, walk you into that wall, and pin your hands above your head? That I wanted to make you beg- not for your life, but for something better? What would you do, Hero? Would you take me up on the offer if I told you it wasn’t too late?” He stepped towards her, and she felt herself taking a step back to match.

Suddenly, Hero wasn’t afraid he might kill her. She was afraid of the tingle in her brain and the way that the lockpick in her hand felt slick in her fingers.

She needed to focus. If she wasn’t careful, she would drop the pick, and ruin any chance of getting what she needed. Not that she could open the lock in front of Villain, but maybe if she gained a say in this…this interrogation…then she could distract him. She could ask for a drink! A glass of red wine- wasn’t that a flirtatious beverage? And while he left to get her a drink, Hero would unlock the desk, take the drive, and leave.

But before she could ask, Villain continued in his taunts. “What if I told you that naked would flatter your body even more? That it’d have been stunning plastered against my shower wall? And ohh, that hair,” he sighed with closed eyes. “How beautiful it would look- dark, and damp with steam.” He took another step, then another. Before Hero could even think to count the footsteps, the cloth of her black sweater made her skin itch. Her back was against the wall. “Sweetheart, your head wouldn’t even touch the water before I ravished you.” His dry knuckles grazed against the sharp, albeit soft-skinned frame of Hero’s cheeks. “You would have chills from more than just the air. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

His voice flattered her just as much- quiet and hushed, as if this were a scandal in his own private home. It sounded thrilling. It felt thrilling. Hero’s heart thumped harder now than when she’d been caught. It shouldn’t have been possible. Never had her heart beat so hard against her ribcage, like it was trying to escape. Like it depended on Villain’s voice and commands to keep her alive.

His hand trailed down her cheek, down the centre of her chest- where she gasped, but didn’t stop him- to her stomach, then right above the waistband of her pants.

“Hand me the lockpick,” he whispered, head beside her own, “or I might pleasure you here…instead of giving you the courtesy of a warm shower.” It was no threat; it was an invitation. Hero felt his lips curl, tugging her hair ever-so-slightly away from her ear. “Either way, I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself.”

Hero swallowed. Would it be so bad, she thought, to be taken by Villain? With his smooth talking and easy compliments, it was hard to consider walking away. Whatever she decided, she wasn’t getting the disk drive. Maybe she could have something else. Something enticing. Something fulfilling. Something she’d never had before with a man who paid no one else any attention.

She could spoil herself.

But only this once.

And never again.

At least, that’s what she told herself.

******

I have more like this if you’re looking for more: Distracted

Gasps of Air

And I have to give a shoutout to the queen and king of similar drabbles @save-the-villainous-cat and @epiclamer. They’re probably more accustomed to this sort of thing.

[minnaci]

i need to fuck that twink so bad

[eiswolfzero]

Her kick will put you into the hospital

[freebooter4ever]

What do you miss most about Pittsburgh?

Oh gosh, that's a question! I mean aside from the obvious answer of my old dance buddy lettia or naeem.

I miss pittsburgh's community, specifically the very music and art oriented one i was in. There's community here in LA but its all about fame, and money, and celebrity, and how you can use other people to get ahead. Just the other day i saw an influencer i actually kinda admired brag about meeting someone who out of respect for them + their privacy i have never never mentioned because i met them as a friend first. And it felt so weird seeing this person i know be used as click bait for the influencer's hits/likes/subscriptions. It kind of jolted some reality into me about how this city operates even in the smaller circles i run in. Its like the vibes in LA are all about 'being someone' and self importance. If someone is only going to respect me for my money (or disrespect me for my lack of money), or who i know, or credits to my name, i dont think i want their respect anyway.

Pittsburgh though - nobody was anybody in pittsburgh so we didnt fucking care, lol. It was a lot easier to go to things, to feel connected. There was an emphasis on diy, where it didnt matter who you were or who you knew if you had a good idea there was a chance it could happen. There were things like Art All Night and the various music festivals in the different neighborhoods. I was most connected to the music scene so i miss the casual afternoon concerts in someone's tiny apartment with everyone crowded around the band. The basement parties, the dancing. Ted's rowhouse was on fisk street so when i lived there with friends i really enjoyed how much of a community space it was - people were always coming and going off of butler street, movie nights, human chess parties. It definitely could feel too small sometimes - literally everybody knew everyone and everybody dated everyone. The year i left two of my ex boyfriends were living in the same house and i cant tell you the number of 'male harem' jokes i got about that one. Or the number of times a dude wanted to date me and when i said 'no' i immediately got excluded from an entire friend group. But no matter how frustrating the smallness got, i still was also aware of how special it was. Its also mostly over - a lot of my friends from that time have since dispersed to other cities. I think moments like that are fleeting, but thats what makes them unique.

But even with all that said, you know what my favorite thing to do in pittsburgh was?

Driving

and ok ok that probably sounds stupid. And it probably does not help that im in LA where driving is now the second level of hell. But even compared to seattle or nyc or other places i lived, driving in pittsburgh was just so much fun and you cant recreate that anywhere else. I once saw a data visualization of the main cities of the US and places like LA and even NYC were nicely laid out squares but pittsburgh was just this insane clusterfuck pencil scribble, and thats truly it. Cause not only do you have over 100 bridges and lots of one way roads that will funnel you onto a bridge you absolutely dont want to go over but whoops guess you're going anyway, but this city was also built on a cluster of hills. Thats what makes up the various neighborhoods - and the roads that connect these hills through hollows and over forests - are the most confusing rat maze you can imagine. For every one way to go there's also probably a dozen other options and mentally calculating which route will be fastest taking into account traffic and distance and 'speed limit' is a skill only acquired after years of living in the city. And if you have a tiny car and nasc*ar level driving skills thanks to the multiple generations of engineers in your family....driving up and down those hills is just a joy. It also, uh, helped that I made my own hours so worked from 11am - 3am most days and avoided all traffic. And in the city proper the pigs arent allowed to r*adar so as long as you knew where the speed traps were you could...uhhh... Be lenient. I only ever got pulled over once and that was because one time in the spring of 2016 i went home from work early one night and these asshole hockey fans were taking up the entire street around the rink that would get me onto bigelow and connect me to lawrenceville. And since i couldnt go down that one street, becaues its pittsburgh, i had to go in the complete opposite direction to find another route home which took like an extra fifteen minutes. And yeah i got pulled over, started crying and explaining i was just trying to get home from work, and they let me go. But damn those hockey fans. :P (but also had i realized you could go hangout outside and watch the hockey game on giant screens with a huge crowd of fellow broke but dedicated weirdos, i totally would have loved that. Thats what pittsburgh is all about lmao)

Anyway one of my old friends moved from pitt to LA, and then he moved from LA to shanghai. And i once asked him would he move back to LA and his response was that he couldn't imagine living in LA again after living in a Proper City like shanghai. And he made it clear that he saw being able to 'make it' in larger and larger cities as like...a mark of his personal progress. But me? Im a small town girl unfortunately. I still dream about the day i can fuck off to live in a cabin in the woods somewhere.

[loppiopio]

the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅

(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)

it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>

(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)

[hacked-by-jake]

I wasn't happy with my current medication, it didn't work the way it should have, or could have. For 3 or 4 weeks I have been down to a lower dose so I can slowly get off of it until I can change the medication. And it's no fun. :')